Speaker 1: Nicky. Here's Nikki. Hey everyone, it's Nicky Guayser podcast. Na
Speaker 1: um Andrew's love and saying day nata up in this bit,
Speaker 1: I've been saying a lot of data. Oh yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean he throws out day natas like he and he
Speaker 1: really gets it. Give us your best dad, Nada, just say,
Speaker 1: oh man, that was so. I mean, I I know
Speaker 1: nothing about the Spanish language, but I was convinced you
Speaker 1: were a local. Yeah I have you know, I grew
Speaker 1: up in Florida, so it's you know, close to South Florida.
Speaker 1: So I I still don't know anything. And if you
Speaker 1: just kind of mumble it anyway, yeah, and um, you
Speaker 1: know I took Spanish for six years in college, so um,
Speaker 1: I know nothing. Um, so you know, I I pretty
Speaker 1: much know. Uh liked I asked to go to the bathroom.
Speaker 1: My other thing is like it's like much pleasure, like
Speaker 1: very well. I only know that from Mujo Gusto. I'm over.
Speaker 1: I'm um. Andrew did point out a great thing about
Speaker 1: me being in a foreign land. Um is that I
Speaker 1: always had confusion about doors because it says push or
Speaker 1: poll and I only read the first half of things.
Speaker 1: As you guys know, books, signs, and so I always
Speaker 1: just read puh and I don't know if it's saying
Speaker 1: push or poll, and I usually just suck it up,
Speaker 1: you know. But in Spanish it's jallet, which I'm saying
Speaker 1: that wrong. It's jail or it's the other one sounds
Speaker 1: like an agelle, yes, helle, and then the other one's
Speaker 1: like emperor, emperor, emperor or jail and Andrew goes, now
Speaker 1: you'll know, and I go, oh, yeah, Now it's even
Speaker 1: more confusing because I don't know what those words even me.
Speaker 1: It is tough when you're with your boyfriend and you
Speaker 1: say push out. Yeah. I hate when I tell him
Speaker 1: to push out and he just comes all in you.
Speaker 1: It's so funny. We were also talking today about how
Speaker 1: um Andrew captioned a video yesterday of him, the one
Speaker 1: that I posted on our the Nicki Glitzer social um.
Speaker 1: He posted on his personal one. He wrote a cap
Speaker 1: what was the captain again? I said, when you nut?
Speaker 1: So the joke was based off the one you nut
Speaker 1: and she keeps sucking okay, so, which I don't know that.
Speaker 1: I guess I've seen it a couple of times. But
Speaker 1: guys do videos where they're like face. I hate that.
Speaker 1: I hate like when I nut, I don't want to.
Speaker 1: That's why. That's the point of it. They're saying like,
Speaker 1: it's like those too sensitives, too much. Yeah, yeah, no
Speaker 1: one likes that. You thought you were the only one.
Speaker 1: You were missreading those videos, So that was the point
Speaker 1: of those. So he does the dance and he wrote
Speaker 1: and he was making a joke off of when you
Speaker 1: nut and she keeps sucking. I go, when you nut,
Speaker 1: and then she makes you coffee and then you have
Speaker 1: a nice emotional conversation while staring at each other in
Speaker 1: the eyes. Yes, And I was like, um, you know,
Speaker 1: he said, I forget how we got on the I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, I want to start. He was just saying, saying,
Speaker 1: you nut is the funniest thing. This is the dumbest thing.
Speaker 1: Just be like a nutted. It's the dicker down guy,
Speaker 1: Like I nutted hard after I dicked her down. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's pretty cool. I don't know who the dicker
Speaker 1: down guy is or just a guy who says that
Speaker 1: it's my it's my step step uncle, Bobby. Is it
Speaker 1: is that? What's his name? You want to know A
Speaker 1: funny story. So my stepsister uh was married to this
Speaker 1: guy Bobby, and Bobby wrote on Facebook that she hasn't
Speaker 1: come home all night and that he thinks he's cheating
Speaker 1: on her and she came home with a hickey. He
Speaker 1: wrote this on Facebook. No, when was this years ago?
Speaker 1: About a probably like two years ago. She's with a
Speaker 1: guy now with a mullet who has a Mustang whose
Speaker 1: lights never go off, like the front lights never turn off,
Speaker 1: the separate general or something. Okay, this my over headlight
Speaker 1: onto my cars. I gotta jump it. This guy was
Speaker 1: like fucking delivered in a fucking tub of jim bean,
Speaker 1: like like he's such a bad So I figured out
Speaker 1: out that. Yeah, so um so then she some guy
Speaker 1: writes on his thing and he goes, hey, man, you
Speaker 1: know what you gotta do. You just gotta dick her
Speaker 1: down real good, and like that'll keep her, that will
Speaker 1: keep her from getting a hickey. He gotta dick her down,
Speaker 1: and it's just like it's pretty cool. So that was
Speaker 1: that was one of the comments on the post. And
Speaker 1: so he left her right is his girlfriend or his wife?
Speaker 1: I don't know if they ever got married because you
Speaker 1: just naturally saw it, or was the whole family like dude,
Speaker 1: go on Facebook right now. It's going down pretty much.
Speaker 1: That Okay, I was gonna say that is so hilarious
Speaker 1: to air something like you know, when you get it's
Speaker 1: almost like, I don't want to compare it to the
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift thing that we covered yesterday, but her sending
Speaker 1: off that tweet in response to that guy was such
Speaker 1: a knee jerk thing. Yeah, I know she did that,
Speaker 1: and she was with someone who was like, do it,
Speaker 1: do it. She was in a place where her team wasn't.
Speaker 1: I mean, it was a good move for her PR wise,
Speaker 1: but yeah, Bobby's PR team wasn't around at that time. Mechanics.
Speaker 1: I just I could almost guarantee you what the situation
Speaker 1: was where Taylor sent off those tweets. And I think
Speaker 1: that especially the follow up one where she's like and
Speaker 1: by the way, I wrote this tweet all by myself.
Speaker 1: It was just she pitched it like I've been in
Speaker 1: that position so many times. I don't I think that
Speaker 1: those moments where you put something out there where you're
Speaker 1: when you're in in a state of anger, when you're
Speaker 1: in a state of like high emotion, get away from all.
Speaker 1: It's like when I'm on used to take the nuts,
Speaker 1: get it out. But when I used to take ambient,
Speaker 1: like the first I remember when my friend lent me
Speaker 1: some ambient because I was going through a really hard
Speaker 1: time and I had taping the next day and I
Speaker 1: wasn't sleeping, and I remember I put all of I
Speaker 1: put my phone in the other room, I turned it off.
Speaker 1: I used the actual alarm cluck in the hotel room,
Speaker 1: like on the nightstand, because I was like, I don't
Speaker 1: want to I don't want to have a Roseanne moment,
Speaker 1: you know, or just put out something really weird. And
Speaker 1: then I ended up being prescribed ambient for a while,
Speaker 1: and I remember I never had an issue with it.
Speaker 1: It may have said this on the podcast, except one
Speaker 1: morning I woke up and I had overnight on my
Speaker 1: Instagram story because I checked my story the next day
Speaker 1: late in the day. Just you know, when you review
Speaker 1: your own story and you go, God, I'm so interesting.
Speaker 1: What are people saying of me? You know, when you
Speaker 1: look at your own story and you're like, what am
Speaker 1: I putting out? Like how am I perceived? God? I'm
Speaker 1: so cool? And most of the time I'm just like, God,
Speaker 1: you're lame. But I look and I go who fucking
Speaker 1: hijacked my story? What is this? And it was me
Speaker 1: promoting Tom Papa's special, which I had not seen, and
Speaker 1: saying how funny it was, which I guarantee it was funny.
Speaker 1: But Tom Papa, it's just such a weird thing to
Speaker 1: do on ambient. It should be on one of the
Speaker 1: side effects. You may promote Tom Papa and ambience may um, yeah,
Speaker 1: give a quote for him to put on his next
Speaker 1: book or something. Yeah, you're like fun for the whole family.
Speaker 1: You just start writing like, isn't like arrested development great?
Speaker 1: And it's like what that was ten years ago? I
Speaker 1: was just friendly, but I was still lying, you know,
Speaker 1: because I hadn't seen it, and I phrased it in
Speaker 1: a way like I had seen it, which I don't
Speaker 1: usually do. If there's a new special, I'll be like,
Speaker 1: I can't wait to watch this much A lot of
Speaker 1: times I won't even watch it, But it is true.
Speaker 1: I can't wait is actually a lie. I'm always when
Speaker 1: people say I can't wait, I'm always like, yes, you can,
Speaker 1: because you have to. It's not coming out till or whatever.
Speaker 1: Are you gonna kill yourself because you can't? You just
Speaker 1: can't wait? You can. I took every time I would
Speaker 1: take AMBI, and they're like, I feel like it puts
Speaker 1: so much pressure on you to go to sleep. It's
Speaker 1: like when I take a zanex, well you have to
Speaker 1: go to that. Take it when you're ready to go
Speaker 1: to see But I don't do that. I don't. I
Speaker 1: don't do it so it will put them to sleep.
Speaker 1: But it has to be like when you're ready to
Speaker 1: close your eyes and make a concerted effort to do it.
Speaker 1: Which if you're not willing to do that, what are
Speaker 1: you doing anyway? I don't know what. You're not even
Speaker 1: trying to that's your problem if you If you can't
Speaker 1: get to a place where you close your eyes in
Speaker 1: bed and you just try to sleep, then you don't
Speaker 1: deserve embim because you don't you're not even trying in
Speaker 1: the first place. Your whole thing of I can't sleep
Speaker 1: is like and I'm not saying people who need ambient
Speaker 1: you know, do it. I mean it helped me a
Speaker 1: lot for a while. Um, but I wanted to say
Speaker 1: the thing about nutting that we came up with. I
Speaker 1: want to start saying, because I say, jack off it
Speaker 1: jerk off for masturbating and it's become such a like
Speaker 1: just I I use it and people always laugh and
Speaker 1: I forget that it's not something women say like I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go jerk off, but it just to me is
Speaker 1: just natural now. But at first it was funny, you know,
Speaker 1: and I want to start saying nut. But Andrew and
Speaker 1: I was like, why can't win and say nut because
Speaker 1: we come to like I'm gonna nut and he was like, well,
Speaker 1: you don't have nuts, and I was like, wait, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: we don't have balls. And actually nut probably comes from
Speaker 1: the fact that the seed is in the nut, which
Speaker 1: the seed is sperm, and we have an egg, and
Speaker 1: I was thinking, what's inside an egg that we can
Speaker 1: be like that we and so we're calling it yoking.
Speaker 1: I yoked would be called egg egged him because you
Speaker 1: don't put eggs all. You don't put like it's almost
Speaker 1: like the casing that the the the yolk actually is
Speaker 1: the egg and then the egg whiting, the egg white
Speaker 1: is the stuff is Maybe the more the come I
Speaker 1: agree with yolks think it does. It looks exactly like yolks,
Speaker 1: I know, but I'm just thinking now that the nut
Speaker 1: is the balls, right, So the egg would be no,
Speaker 1: then we don't know enough about Women's Anatomy or anyone's anatomy.
Speaker 1: Um talking about this, I don't I do know about
Speaker 1: the maybe the first couple episodes, the first season, and
Speaker 1: I can't believe that show has been on for like
Speaker 1: I think, so, yeah, who knows. I think that's going
Speaker 1: to be like Cockroaches, where it's like the world will
Speaker 1: like there's being apocalypse and the only thing that exists
Speaker 1: is like a t V that's still playing Grey's Anatomy
Speaker 1: and it's we don't know how they're making it. And
Speaker 1: then also Cockroaches. I yoked and now and he still wait, No,
Speaker 1: it goes, it goes. I nudded when you nud and
Speaker 1: she she keeps sucking, and so it's when I yoke
Speaker 1: and he keeps licking. Yeah, or eating? Oh? Eating eating
Speaker 1: is so gross? Why does eating? Plus he sounds so nasty?
Speaker 1: I don't know. Can I play something that I just
Speaker 1: found that I love? Um? We were talking about um. Oh,
Speaker 1: so I had to restart my computer today and I
Speaker 1: was talking about how why does that fix everything? Which
Speaker 1: it truly did. I couldn't connect to the internet. I
Speaker 1: restarted my computer. Boom, you said it was a lot
Speaker 1: like blowing into the game disc or hitting your Nintendo
Speaker 1: or I hit my remote control on my head. Yeah,
Speaker 1: if we have millennials or like gen Z's listening, you
Speaker 1: might see this often as a meme. But like on Superintendo,
Speaker 1: you would take out the games and you go like
Speaker 1: it's so, but it would work, and it was kind
Speaker 1: of fun that it worked. Did you play Supernintendo No, yeah,
Speaker 1: of course. And you would to put the cartridge in
Speaker 1: like so it clicks a little bit and like pass in. Um.
Speaker 1: I don't remember that one necessarily, but I remember you
Speaker 1: know how the purple buttons that you slide to turn
Speaker 1: on If you did them both, it would like restart
Speaker 1: the system. Do you remember Game Genie. Game Genie was insane. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but Game Genie, let me just take you through what
Speaker 1: that was. You would have a Nintendo game that you
Speaker 1: would put into the system. If you got Game Genie,
Speaker 1: which my cousin j D did, Rest in peace. He
Speaker 1: died from Game Genie. Um. He just couldn't stop playing
Speaker 1: an intend So you would put the Nintendo game into
Speaker 1: the Game Genie. It was like a separate cartridge that
Speaker 1: it would fit in, and then you put the game
Speaker 1: Genie into the thing and game Genie would unlock everything
Speaker 1: that you would need to do. It would get you,
Speaker 1: It would make you have all the powers and all
Speaker 1: the things that you needed in the game. It was insane.
Speaker 1: It would just like it was like, I don't I
Speaker 1: don't remember ever being excited about something that was game
Speaker 1: Janie because bumper pads of bowling. Yes, yes, it was awesome.
Speaker 1: I loved Supernintendo. Can I just say Mario Kart Super
Speaker 1: Mario Brothers too. I didn't like three. I didn't like
Speaker 1: that little raccoon tail. Do you play with dudes a lot?
Speaker 1: I just played with my cousin j D. Donkey Kong Country,
Speaker 1: Holy Ship, Donkey Kong m my favorite Mario Kart guy
Speaker 1: Oh Yoshi. It was the fastest. And then I loved Um.
Speaker 1: I mean, Aladdin, though, was a fucking sick game. And
Speaker 1: sometimes I will just pull up old YouTube clips of
Speaker 1: the Aladdin game. There's any bessies out there who played
Speaker 1: Aladdin for any s um Supernintendo, please reach out to me,
Speaker 1: because that was fucking great. You wrote a red carpet,
Speaker 1: there were stars, there was like a cobra that um.
Speaker 1: You know, when Jafar turns into a cobra in the
Speaker 1: sand in Aladdin? Did you ever see aladd did? Do
Speaker 1: you remember that part? So you know what to take off?
Speaker 1: You know? And yes, all good, all good, all good girl,
Speaker 1: all good women. Well was this um? I don't remember.
Speaker 1: I just remember yeah, yeah, okay. So in you know,
Speaker 1: in Disney movies, there's like all those things, those little
Speaker 1: secret pornographic things that they snuck in. Do you know
Speaker 1: some of them there'll be a penis in the clouds
Speaker 1: or whatever. Well, you know, the first one was a
Speaker 1: little or one of the first ones. I don't know
Speaker 1: the whole track record, Little Mermaid had a penis as
Speaker 1: the in the in the cover of it, on the
Speaker 1: cassette or on the VHS. There is a penis in
Speaker 1: his castle, like one of the one of the towers,
Speaker 1: one of the minarets. I only know that word from
Speaker 1: a Dave Matthews song. Yeah and then um and then
Speaker 1: also in uh Little Mermaid, which is one of the
Speaker 1: most agregious ones that they did. They're the priest. At
Speaker 1: the end when Ursula is the brunette and she's getting
Speaker 1: married and she's walking towards Prince Eric to marry him,
Speaker 1: she kicks the dog. She's walking down the aisle and
Speaker 1: she kicks the dog and he's like, and U Prince
Speaker 1: Eric is just like spinny, I like hypnotized because that's
Speaker 1: why he's marrying her. And she walks up and the
Speaker 1: priest is like, welcome to the marriage of and um.
Speaker 1: His he has a boner. He's an active boner that
Speaker 1: comes up and then like kind of wrestles around and
Speaker 1: then goes down. It's like and then I think the
Speaker 1: animators said, oh, Noah's found it. There we go, look,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, what it moves. I mean his nose is
Speaker 1: more of a boner than his dick. Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: it's insane that what that really as a kid when
Speaker 1: you would have to rewind and like it wasn't just
Speaker 1: you know, toggling, it was it was actually What I
Speaker 1: love about these things is that, like it was back
Speaker 1: in the day, it wasn't easy to illustrate, so like
Speaker 1: that was multiple, Like that took a lot of thought
Speaker 1: board those guys are, Yeah, that's true. I just heard
Speaker 1: a thing on Chris's show. They they do a thing
Speaker 1: called Tuesday Tidbits where they just kind of say, like
Speaker 1: it's almost like the Reddit stuff I use sometimes where
Speaker 1: it's just like, here's a little fact that you didn't know.
Speaker 1: Animators don't put have their characters often have three fingers
Speaker 1: and a thumb like four fingers because they don't want
Speaker 1: to because it's just like it's just laziness and it
Speaker 1: saves money because it would take more time to have
Speaker 1: more fingers, which I thought was interesting. But um, I
Speaker 1: love that they threw an extra finger in that guy's
Speaker 1: being and an extra dick on his face. Um okay,
Speaker 1: I think can I keep going through all the what
Speaker 1: were you gonna say? No? Go ahead, So then let's
Speaker 1: go to the next thing. Breathing in the Beast. I
Speaker 1: don't remember any being in Beauty and the Beast. Aladdin
Speaker 1: we have which no one knows very well. She knew
Speaker 1: right away as I said it. Jasmine is on the balcony. Um,
Speaker 1: her tiger pet tiger is uh oh. Aladdin comes to
Speaker 1: the balcony and the tiger is just like, I'm sniffing
Speaker 1: this guy out, being like who is he? And he
Speaker 1: kind of goes up to him, and a Land's going
Speaker 1: like oh, he's like kind of backed up, almost falling
Speaker 1: off the balcony because the tigers like trying to like
Speaker 1: growl at him, and he's like, calm down, it's okay,
Speaker 1: it's okay, it's okay, and he goes. All good teenagers
Speaker 1: take off the clothes, and it's just a very all
Speaker 1: good teenagers take a good ten. However, I don't think.
Speaker 1: I think it's just misheard. And once you listen, it's
Speaker 1: one of those things of like some teenagers. You know,
Speaker 1: it's all good teenagers. It's only eighteen and up at
Speaker 1: eighteen and nineteen. I'll get eighteen just to keep it
Speaker 1: leave and one fourteen year old who I met, like, um,
Speaker 1: So there's that. And then in Lion King, we have
Speaker 1: at one point Simba as a teenager I believe, falls
Speaker 1: down in like a homp, like he's like tired, and
Speaker 1: all this dust swirls up into the clouds. And I
Speaker 1: think that's the one you're remembering where there's like a
Speaker 1: penis in the sky, but it's the dust forms um
Speaker 1: a shape that says sex and no. You can probably
Speaker 1: look up that image sex Lion King of it dust
Speaker 1: and we can see that um. And you can also
Speaker 1: go to our YouTube page and watch our podcast live.
Speaker 1: I guess it's like not live if you're an illustrator too,
Speaker 1: and you're like just thinking about cartoons all the time.
Speaker 1: You're probably like so in the need of like thinking
Speaker 1: about sex all day and you're just drawing like things
Speaker 1: that kids would like. So then you're like, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: put sex in the sky. People kind of nutting, You
Speaker 1: got a nut there's a little secret for them. Do
Speaker 1: you see how it's has sex? I mean it's written
Speaker 1: on there. That's not how they did in the hilarious
Speaker 1: That would be so funny if that. Do you see it?
Speaker 1: It looks like it's a sex I mean it's you
Speaker 1: know what, It could be a mistake. Now, let's keep going. Now,
Speaker 1: then we go to um, there's another one from won King.
Speaker 1: If you look in the sky, you could just see it.
Speaker 1: It's it's from the poster. The poster has a thonged
Speaker 1: woman as Oh my god, I see it perfectly now,
Speaker 1: so the line in came now there, you know what.
Speaker 1: Another thing I just heard yesterday and Chris's show as well,
Speaker 1: is the super Bowl logo this year. Pull it up, Noah.
Speaker 1: The super Bowl logo for this year. They tried to
Speaker 1: do a thing inside the logo that it looks like
Speaker 1: palm trees or something because it's in l A. I guess,
Speaker 1: is that right. I don't make Miami. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know, um, but it looks like it's dripping blood.
Speaker 1: It is the worst graphic design I've ever seen. I
Speaker 1: saw something the other day where it's a robot reading
Speaker 1: a book inside the nose of a of a what
Speaker 1: oh like where you see things and that's what everyone's seeing. No,
Speaker 1: like inside the Chicago Bull If you pull up the
Speaker 1: Chicago bulls logo, you can see a robot reading a book.
Speaker 1: If I was good at a photoshop, it'd be so
Speaker 1: funny to just put like the most hardcore porn in
Speaker 1: the corner of like the Simpsons or or like duck
Speaker 1: Tails and be like, do you guys see this? And
Speaker 1: it's just like the most like agree, just human fucking
Speaker 1: you'll ever see in the top corner there that one. Oh,
Speaker 1: let's see. Yeah, that's disgusting, isn't that terrible? Yeah? That
Speaker 1: looks like they're like CTE inside their heads. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: I want to share with you a thing that I saw.
Speaker 1: Because I often see things in um, like I see
Speaker 1: dicks sometimes and things or just different shapes in things.
Speaker 1: This is what I found. I'm going to send it
Speaker 1: to you. Noh. Um. I remember I was so depressed.
Speaker 1: I was in Omaha. I was on the road with
Speaker 1: um I guess, uh, Greg Warren and Tim Convey. They
Speaker 1: were all driving to Omaha and I, um, yeah, well,
Speaker 1: let's take a break, and let's take a break and
Speaker 1: we'll come back with the dick that I found and
Speaker 1: Noah will put it up a thing. Welcome back to
Speaker 1: the show. We're about to show a penis that I
Speaker 1: found um in in a hair dryer. Word. I was
Speaker 1: sitting on the toilet in a hotel room in Omaha.
Speaker 1: I was so fucking depressed this weekend and I look
Speaker 1: up in my hair dryer cord has taken the shape
Speaker 1: of a bent penis and it has balls and everything.
Speaker 1: Get ready for this? Wait okay, wow, wow, yeah right,
Speaker 1: that looks like ironwork, Like it looks like the guy
Speaker 1: that draws without picking his pencil up that you put
Speaker 1: on the wall. Oh yeah, oh my god, that's so
Speaker 1: what it looks like. I like the balls have in
Speaker 1: the infinity sign to like there's so much coming there,
Speaker 1: like it's forever, it's endless. So we're in Mexico and um,
Speaker 1: yesterday was our first day, UM like full day here.
Speaker 1: We arrived the day before. UM, Andrew and I did
Speaker 1: the podcast, we went to launch, we talked about the
Speaker 1: show that we're going to be making, which was really fun,
Speaker 1: very excited to do that. UM, and then we went
Speaker 1: our separate way is Andrew, I want to talk about
Speaker 1: what you did during your day and and and then
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, I've heard stories about how does
Speaker 1: like a golf mecca and you know, I brought my
Speaker 1: clubs and I'll make it short because I know everyone
Speaker 1: loves golf so much that listened to this for but uh, yeah,
Speaker 1: so I found I went. I was just looking for
Speaker 1: a driving range, and I honestly didn't think I'd find
Speaker 1: somewhere that was like cheap and easy to I don't
Speaker 1: know why, Like every time I tried, do you ever
Speaker 1: get this? Like when even though this convince yourself, anything
Speaker 1: you try to do is going to be either expensive
Speaker 1: or there's going to be some roadblock. Yeah, and I can't.
Speaker 1: And I like, I get to a new city, even
Speaker 1: if it's a small town, and I'm like, what do
Speaker 1: you do? How do you get somewhere it's like there's
Speaker 1: four people in the pro Shop, like no one's like
Speaker 1: everyone's chill, dude. I feel like this is so relatable.
Speaker 1: Everyone in my family keeps texting me being like, are
Speaker 1: you having such a good time? And I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: paralyzed because I it's not because I'm like the culture
Speaker 1: is different and I'm scared. It's just like any literally
Speaker 1: it is outside of the US. I just feel like
Speaker 1: I am a bother to people because I'm American and
Speaker 1: I'm just like a dumb American. I feel like I
Speaker 1: don't I'm just gonna look stupid. I'm going to pull
Speaker 1: doors that say push, I'm going to I can't figure
Speaker 1: things out, and I feel like everything's gonna be more expensive.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to have the right money. I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna have the I d to do it. Like, I
Speaker 1: just feel like I literally im paralyzed here. And I
Speaker 1: was thinking today like I have to make a Yesterday.
Speaker 1: I made it concerned after to do something and it
Speaker 1: was so hard to not just stay in my room
Speaker 1: all day. So you had it in your mind it
Speaker 1: was going to be so difficult and that was gonna
Speaker 1: be I didn't have a car here until I saw Jen,
Speaker 1: our friend Jen, and She's like, why don't because we
Speaker 1: were going to split a car, but we're not stay
Speaker 1: in the same hotel. Yeah. And so then Jen had
Speaker 1: a car and I was like, do you think I
Speaker 1: could use it? Well, your names on on it, whatever.
Speaker 1: She ends up letting me use the car, which then
Speaker 1: like kind of opened me up to being like oh
Speaker 1: and then you're like, oh god, now I have to Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well yeah, But I also was like, if I had
Speaker 1: to uber somewhere for some reason, Uber in another country,
Speaker 1: you think they're gonna they might kidnap me and murder me,
Speaker 1: even though like it's like the I put these thoughts
Speaker 1: on like like or like it will take seven hours
Speaker 1: for them to show up. I'm not gonna have the
Speaker 1: right app It's not gonna do it, or it's like yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, honestly, I was saying to Bill and you
Speaker 1: yesterday a friend, I was like, I'm I miss Cayman
Speaker 1: so much. And I felt the same way in Camean Island.
Speaker 1: I remember when we got out of quarantine. You were
Speaker 1: like going to the gym, you were going to the
Speaker 1: little grocery store across the street, like little things, And
Speaker 1: I was like, what's it like out there? I was
Speaker 1: just I needed someone to like hold my hand through it.
Speaker 1: And then and then I ended up knowing that place
Speaker 1: so well that it felt like home. And I'm missing
Speaker 1: it so much now because I just want what I
Speaker 1: know and I'm gonna feel that way. I'm going to
Speaker 1: force myself to get to that place with Cabo before
Speaker 1: sooner I got I'm I'm like so whatever. So I
Speaker 1: go to this one golf range. They don't have a
Speaker 1: driving range, they just have like a practice facility, and
Speaker 1: they're like, well, there's a driving range five minutes up
Speaker 1: this way. I go up like this kind of hill,
Speaker 1: like kind of cliff driving up and it's like through
Speaker 1: model homes and whatever. And I'm like, God, this place
Speaker 1: is gonna be so freaking expensive. Can I get there?
Speaker 1: And I'm like I walk in and I'm like what
Speaker 1: And everyone's so chilled there, like hey, let me carry
Speaker 1: your bags like you know, like whatever, like like just
Speaker 1: like and so I end up I get there four
Speaker 1: and the driving range closes a four, which was a
Speaker 1: little sad, but it's ten dollars for an hour of
Speaker 1: unlimited balls and then twenty dollars from balls all day long.
Speaker 1: They're open seven to four, and then I go to
Speaker 1: the guy. I was like, hey, you think I could
Speaker 1: get on WHENLY play nine? He's like, don't tell anybody,
Speaker 1: but I'll give you the special rate, and I think
Speaker 1: he prices that. Why did you only play sixteen? Because
Speaker 1: there was two three foursomes that I skipped at the
Speaker 1: very end because I caught up to them because I
Speaker 1: was playing by myself. What what did you just say,
Speaker 1: I don't four people are playing on one hole, so
Speaker 1: four guys are playing together, so they take longer, got it?
Speaker 1: And you caught up to them, and so you just
Speaker 1: skipped that like two on the front. What did you say? No?
Speaker 1: I thought you joined their game, like you were trying
Speaker 1: to catch up to them so you could play with them. Right. See,
Speaker 1: we don't speak off so it was important for us
Speaker 1: to do so. Anyways, long story short, so I get out,
Speaker 1: I play sixteen, and then in the morning I woke
Speaker 1: up this morning, I was like, I don't know if
Speaker 1: I wanted and then I wake up way yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I've been I'm like a new early morning riser. Wow.
Speaker 1: Is it because living with Brenna partly? And then I
Speaker 1: just I don't know. For some reason, while I'm here.
Speaker 1: I really want to like work on my ship and
Speaker 1: like be like more organized and like really become good
Speaker 1: at because I have time right now other than are doing.
Speaker 1: But like if I wake up early enough, I have time.
Speaker 1: Absolutely I was doing. Man, I did the same thing
Speaker 1: yesterday of like, I'm going to be different here every set,
Speaker 1: and I will say, what did you have it? So
Speaker 1: this morning you woke up and went and so I
Speaker 1: ate breakfast. I had my breakfast, I had my eggs
Speaker 1: with my fruit, and then I drink coffee and I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm just gonna work. I was like, no,
Speaker 1: you know what drives the course? It's only five minutes,
Speaker 1: not like far, but like I go there and the
Speaker 1: sun is coming up over the ocean. I have shorts on.
Speaker 1: It's the dude. I put a video It's fucking wild,
Speaker 1: and I just hit balls for an hour. And then
Speaker 1: they have like a practice facility that's like like this
Speaker 1: course is it's called cup I don't know if I
Speaker 1: want to say it, because but like, um yeah, anyway,
Speaker 1: So like I got out there and I'm like really
Speaker 1: looking around and then I'm like, okay, I'm taking into
Speaker 1: surroundings and finally I don't know like it hit me
Speaker 1: like halfway hitting balls where I'm like, you're you're fine,
Speaker 1: You're home, like not home, but like you can just
Speaker 1: breathe now you gotta do you gotta do ship. I
Speaker 1: felt that way. Um, Like I always feel this way
Speaker 1: on vacation. I don't want to leave the resort. I'm
Speaker 1: too especially out of even in Hawaii, which feels like
Speaker 1: away from the US, like and even you know, when
Speaker 1: we're on the road, I don't want to go out.
Speaker 1: Like it's just what I don't know scares me so much,
Speaker 1: and I really am looking to like I've I mean,
Speaker 1: I always like to share when I'm just like not
Speaker 1: doing that well because people can always relate. But like
Speaker 1: it's not like I've not been doing well, but I
Speaker 1: just cannot sleep enough lately, which you know, it's some
Speaker 1: people go nick you work so hard, it's just your
Speaker 1: body catching up. I know enough about sleep that you
Speaker 1: don't catch up. It's like I'm just a little bit depressed.
Speaker 1: Sleeping makes me when I'm sleeping, I can't do work,
Speaker 1: and so it gives me an excuse that It's almost
Speaker 1: like putting my my phone on airplane mode or like
Speaker 1: when i'm it's the only time I'm not able to
Speaker 1: be in touch with someone. And I have a good excuse.
Speaker 1: I was sleeping, even though it's like you know until
Speaker 1: but here's you know, I get in bed at like ten.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I'm like, why isn't later, you know, like I want,
Speaker 1: I'm seriously like there's something going on where and I
Speaker 1: stay up until like two. But I just I know,
Speaker 1: I know, I understand. No, No, I'm not trying to
Speaker 1: like like it is the sleep to turn your mind
Speaker 1: off or is it just so that you don't have
Speaker 1: to do the work they turn my mind off to.
Speaker 1: It's for both because if if people aren't able to
Speaker 1: get in touch with me and I'm not having to,
Speaker 1: you know, I should be writing my book right now.
Speaker 1: I have my agent, you know, writing me an email
Speaker 1: once a weeking like just checking in on how it's going.
Speaker 1: And then I have this woman that's helping me write
Speaker 1: my book. Hey, just checking in. And I know that
Speaker 1: they're only doing it once a week because they know
Speaker 1: that if they do it every day it's going to
Speaker 1: be annoying. But they're thinking about it every day probably,
Speaker 1: And so I have that, I have my special that
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to reviewing, and that wouldn't no matter how
Speaker 1: good I get it watching myself every time I finished
Speaker 1: my notes and I sent off the next batch of notes,
Speaker 1: and then they go, we did your notes, here's the
Speaker 1: new next version. Boy do I not want to watch
Speaker 1: it again? And it just takes a whole another thing.
Speaker 1: So there's always something I think everyone can relate to this.
Speaker 1: There's always something I could be doing that would be
Speaker 1: something that would um be good for other people. Whether
Speaker 1: it's calling my aunt back, who calls me all the time,
Speaker 1: my Aunt Sally, and I never call her back because
Speaker 1: she talks very slow and it's I gotta focus, Oh
Speaker 1: my god. I mean most people I wish I could
Speaker 1: do double the speed um, but for her, I do
Speaker 1: quadruple because she is We got to call Aunt Sally
Speaker 1: some time on this show. I mean I could call
Speaker 1: her today on the show. It would be awesome to
Speaker 1: the final just to do something with her, because I
Speaker 1: really do need to call her back. And I was
Speaker 1: thinking about yesterday. I was like kind of riddled by
Speaker 1: anxiety about you know, Bob dying and me being like, man,
Speaker 1: I got to reach out. There's so many people if
Speaker 1: they died tomorrow. I would be so mad looking back
Speaker 1: at our text exchange of me not getting back to
Speaker 1: them and feeling like shit about it, and like, oh,
Speaker 1: only I never responded to that sing I never birthday
Speaker 1: the other day. I never forget people's my like you
Speaker 1: know my if it's almost like phone numbers. If you're
Speaker 1: a new friend, like Noah, I cannot tell you when
Speaker 1: your birthday is. I know around the time, that's the date. Wise,
Speaker 1: I don't know what it is. Andrew, I know your
Speaker 1: birthday because but what is it? Um? Yeah, and Marilyn
Speaker 1: Monrose and uh Andy Griffith and um, I've con on
Speaker 1: Brian's birthday. That's so dope. You know what when your
Speaker 1: birthday again? April? Oh yeah it was. Yeah, I'll never
Speaker 1: forget a again. And I and I because I only
Speaker 1: know my best friends from high school because anything, because
Speaker 1: those are it's like phone numbers. I remember their phone numbers,
Speaker 1: but I don't know new phone numbers because they're just
Speaker 1: in my phone and just like birthdays, they're just on
Speaker 1: t Still remember your home phone number, like from actual
Speaker 1: phone long ago, from when you were a kid. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's it's disconnected so you can call it A
Speaker 1: nine no one cares, don't. You can make up any
Speaker 1: number and we'd be like, wow, cool zero. Um. But
Speaker 1: I for the other day. It was my mom's birthday
Speaker 1: on the twenty two, and my mom I had a
Speaker 1: fitting that day. I had to go trying to but
Speaker 1: I had a raging U t I. By the way,
Speaker 1: my ut I came back as soon as I finished
Speaker 1: my antibiotics. Um, and I have I have a inkling
Speaker 1: about what it's about. I want to talk about that
Speaker 1: in a second. But I had a U t I
Speaker 1: that was like coming in and it just feels for me.
Speaker 1: You t eyes are not burning burning sensations that a
Speaker 1: lot of girls have. Mine is it burns when I pe,
Speaker 1: But it feels like good almost like I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: it feels like you've been holding it in a while.
Speaker 1: It doesn't hurt. Um, it's like a good pain that
Speaker 1: I like. It's the pressure in your lower abdomen. It
Speaker 1: feels like you're pregnant with angry sand that won't move.
Speaker 1: And then you also have to ship and it feels
Speaker 1: like you have cold, hard, cemented ship and like I get,
Speaker 1: it's terrible. It hurts so bad. The pressure was so
Speaker 1: bad and hurt on my stomach underwear. The band on
Speaker 1: my underwear, the loose band on my underwear was oppressive
Speaker 1: to me to wear. And I just posted a picture
Speaker 1: last night of me on at Supernova on stage, and
Speaker 1: I'm so bloated. And I had to wear all these
Speaker 1: tight jeans because it was the only thing I had.
Speaker 1: It was so much pain, and I just I couldn't
Speaker 1: sleep on my stomach because it just felt like I
Speaker 1: was pregnant. It felt awful. So I was struggling with that,
Speaker 1: and I had this fitting that I had to go
Speaker 1: to and trying all these bathing suits for f Boy
Speaker 1: Island and um, and then I it was and then
Speaker 1: I left and my I got a text that my mom.
Speaker 1: I sent my mom Wortle. You know the game Wortle.
Speaker 1: You haven't heard of it? Do you know the thing
Speaker 1: that people are posting where it's like those green squares
Speaker 1: and they have like a little score. You haven't seen it,
Speaker 1: but I didn't look into it. Wordle is the best
Speaker 1: game of my life. No. You just just google Wordle
Speaker 1: and it's a game that comes up. It takes you
Speaker 1: two minutes to play. It's only once a day. You
Speaker 1: can't get addicted to it. There's definitely apps now that
Speaker 1: have you know, redone it. But it was this game
Speaker 1: this guy made for his wife and he worked for
Speaker 1: companies that you know, he he worked for Facebook or
Speaker 1: something like that, these companies where he knows what captures
Speaker 1: people's attention and he knows how to like take your time.
Speaker 1: But he decided like, I don't want to make a
Speaker 1: game that does that. And it's just you guess a fire.
Speaker 1: Every day it's a new five letter word and you
Speaker 1: make a guess and then these little squares pop up
Speaker 1: and if it's a if, if the letter that you
Speaker 1: guessed is a yellow square, that means that letter is
Speaker 1: somewhere in the word, but that's not where it is.
Speaker 1: If it's a green if the if the letter in
Speaker 1: the five letter word that you guessed is green, that
Speaker 1: means that letter is in that phase. No, those are
Speaker 1: the hints. So if it's green, that means so let
Speaker 1: me guess. So what if I guess cream okay as
Speaker 1: a five letter word and C is green, I know
Speaker 1: that the ned in the in the in the E
Speaker 1: is yellow. I know that C because it's green is
Speaker 1: definitely this word starts with C C and then E
Speaker 1: is somewhere else in it, and then your keyboard lights
Speaker 1: up of words. And then if it's gray, that means
Speaker 1: that that letter. So each letter you find out if
Speaker 1: it's in it, if it's in the right place. If
Speaker 1: it's in it, and it's not in the right place,
Speaker 1: it's it's yellow. If it's in it, it's green, and
Speaker 1: if it's gray, it's not in it. And that's all
Speaker 1: you need to know. And you, guys, it's so fun.
Speaker 1: Every night at twelve o'clock, I wait for twelve o'clock
Speaker 1: to hit, and it only does your time zone, so
Speaker 1: it's not like you do East Coast twelve o'clock, and
Speaker 1: it changes every day and it's so fun and I
Speaker 1: have connected with like it's like our favorite thing. No,
Speaker 1: there's hints, it's like there is strategy in it. That's
Speaker 1: what makes it fun. But there's also luck involved. So anyway,
Speaker 1: what was I saying about word al Because my mom
Speaker 1: loves word games And then my mom's like, i'll download
Speaker 1: it later. I have people over for my birthday and
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, fuck, you want to remind me? And
Speaker 1: I go, Mom, I'm so sorry. I completely forgot. I
Speaker 1: have a U T I I have a fitting and
Speaker 1: then um, and I was smart though, because I did
Speaker 1: go wild on Lulu Lemon and send her a bunch
Speaker 1: of presence, like on the seventh I thought it advanced,
Speaker 1: which I never sent presents in advance. And I then
Speaker 1: the next day is Kristen's birthday. I know this, and
Speaker 1: twenty three my whole life has been mom Kirsten. The
Speaker 1: next day I forget Kirsten's fucking birthday, and I come go,
Speaker 1: it's before I realized, oh my god. And let me say,
Speaker 1: throughout the twenty three I did think of Kirsten's birthday,
Speaker 1: but I was doing other things and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: as soon as I get off of this call, I
Speaker 1: gotta make a video for Kirsten, because I usually just
Speaker 1: send a video being like I love you so much.
Speaker 1: So I sent her a big text of like I
Speaker 1: love you so much and everything like that. But man,
Speaker 1: it's just not like me to forge It's like me
Speaker 1: to forget buying people presence and not being good about
Speaker 1: shipping things and stuff like that. But in terms of
Speaker 1: reaching out to people via text, I just felt like
Speaker 1: a shitty friend. And and I've been sleeping, so I
Speaker 1: slept till Sunday was my first day off and forever,
Speaker 1: like really day off. I slept till three pm and
Speaker 1: I went to bed. I fell asleep at ten pm.
Speaker 1: I slept fifteen hours straight through because of this U
Speaker 1: T I. And let me just say, I was in
Speaker 1: so much pain from this U T I and felt
Speaker 1: so sick and like down that I think God had
Speaker 1: a doctor that I could email and be like, can
Speaker 1: you give me antibiotics? And she was like, hey, you
Speaker 1: haven't seen me since two thousand eighteen, I'll send this
Speaker 1: one in, but you need to check up, like you
Speaker 1: need to pick me at some point. But she sent
Speaker 1: in the prescription and she sent it in and I
Speaker 1: couldn't go get it because I couldn't move. And it
Speaker 1: just made me think about people who are so sick
Speaker 1: and have to go get medicine and wait in line
Speaker 1: at CVS or go through the drive through and thank
Speaker 1: god they let other people grab them for them. Now, Yeah,
Speaker 1: but like what if you don't have someone else, I
Speaker 1: would just honestly I would have just died from a
Speaker 1: kidney infection with how sick I was and how I
Speaker 1: couldn't move, and if I didn't have the money to
Speaker 1: send a a friend or hire someone to go get
Speaker 1: it for me. I would have just dot literally delivery
Speaker 1: before I figured that out, like before Google how to
Speaker 1: get this. I'm not kidding you. Like everything is so difficult.
Speaker 1: That's why we kind of like when the pharmacy is like,
Speaker 1: you don't need a prescription. My mom's prescription for her
Speaker 1: disease for cp D or in physema is in Like
Speaker 1: even if you were like the most like organized person
Speaker 1: and you were like five years old, you would have
Speaker 1: a tough time. Like yeah, like my my sister in law,
Speaker 1: like bless her, she went through each thing and like
Speaker 1: made it like so like organized. But it's like you're saying,
Speaker 1: like these old people that are fucking talk about dying
Speaker 1: have to figure out literally like thirty pills, certain ones
Speaker 1: you take, some mornings, some things you skip it. It's
Speaker 1: fucking wild. Ten hours on the what about you need
Speaker 1: you need a helper, You need a helper going to
Speaker 1: get meds. It's so hard, and that's why I telehealth.
Speaker 1: So many people told me about telehealth where you just
Speaker 1: do online consultations with the doctor and then if you
Speaker 1: need test done, they send you to a testing clinic
Speaker 1: and you just go and it's easy. Jen my assistant slash,
Speaker 1: you know, cotort manager, she does that. I mean, there's
Speaker 1: a right, like there's got to be an app that
Speaker 1: doctors make home calls. There's like this is that this
Speaker 1: little women days, This is a little black bag and
Speaker 1: the little Yeah, they suck your mom. I don't know
Speaker 1: why I think of the doctor like sucking them, but
Speaker 1: it wasn't a doctor at the principle. I remember, this
Speaker 1: is my favorite line of any movie. He walks past
Speaker 1: forest and forests in there. He goes, he's patting his
Speaker 1: head because he just sucked his mom and he's sweating.
Speaker 1: He goes, your mama, sure does kill about your education.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I remember that. It's such a good line. Mama,
Speaker 1: Sure it does scare about your education. But that was
Speaker 1: I remember feeling that was so disgusting. I was so
Speaker 1: mad that Sally Field did that. Um. Even as a child,
Speaker 1: I remember like knowing like she she let his penis
Speaker 1: in her so um. But I uh god, we have
Speaker 1: so much to talk about, um, But I just want
Speaker 1: to say that Carlile went and got my prescription, thank
Speaker 1: God for her, and dropped it off at my hotel
Speaker 1: and she goes. She called my room. I was asleep again,
Speaker 1: and so she was like, I don't know where your
Speaker 1: hotel room is. I left at the front desk and
Speaker 1: I was down. I I couldn't go down to the
Speaker 1: front desk. I was like, I just am going to
Speaker 1: let this infection. I'm probably going to get a candie
Speaker 1: invention because I can't move. And then luckily the front
Speaker 1: desk called me and was like, do you do you
Speaker 1: want us to bring this up? You've got a delivery,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, yes, thank you, but I'm not kidding you.
Speaker 1: I almost said just leave it at the door, because
Speaker 1: even walking to the door was hard. I was such
Speaker 1: I was such an invalid. And I'll tell you the
Speaker 1: second I took a fucking mad the second I popped
Speaker 1: a pill in my mouth, it went away. Now what
Speaker 1: that tells me is that yes, antibiotics work, but not
Speaker 1: that fast. I will it. It was definitely there was
Speaker 1: a placebo effect in place because I knew the relief
Speaker 1: was on its way, so I almost like got excited
Speaker 1: about it. But then Carlile sent me the Louise Hey book,
Speaker 1: the Heal Your Body book that I bought but I
Speaker 1: didn't bring with me to l A slash Mexico and
Speaker 1: I whenever I have an ailment, I look it up
Speaker 1: in that book to see, like what the mantra is
Speaker 1: or what it's about mentally, because everything starts up here.
Speaker 1: And she sent me the mantra and I put it
Speaker 1: on my Instagram story and it was UM. I loved
Speaker 1: it because it's so it's what it what it's um,
Speaker 1: it's usually about being piste off. This is for my
Speaker 1: U T I usually at the opposite sex or a
Speaker 1: lover blaming others. And so my mantra is I released
Speaker 1: the pattern of my consciousness that created this condition. I
Speaker 1: am willing to change. I love and approve of myself.
Speaker 1: And I was thinking, I've never been happier in a relationship,
Speaker 1: and this relationship in the eight years him and I
Speaker 1: have been seeing each other off and on, I feel
Speaker 1: so secure. I don't know what this could be. This
Speaker 1: is not about the opposite sex I am. I have
Speaker 1: no resentments to him that I can even conjure, like
Speaker 1: all the ones that I've used to have are like
Speaker 1: really worked out. And I feel so good. And I realized,
Speaker 1: holy sh it. The first one U T I got
Speaker 1: came on on the day that I started feeling like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, this guy is like it for me,
Speaker 1: like really it, And then the second one came on,
Speaker 1: let me be honest, after that round of antibiotics. It
Speaker 1: came on again a couple of days later, but it
Speaker 1: came on literally the day where I was had to
Speaker 1: talk with him of like we're we're doing this, like
Speaker 1: this is this is good. We both like love and
Speaker 1: care about each other and just feeling so safe about it.
Speaker 1: And I was like, I think this is my body
Speaker 1: because I've never had a UTI in my whole life,
Speaker 1: and any was like it's probably from sex, dude, and
Speaker 1: like you do anal and I'm like, I've been doing
Speaker 1: that ship all the time. And I'm more hygienic now
Speaker 1: than ever. My diet hasn't changed, nothing changed. The only
Speaker 1: thing that's changed is I feel secure in my relationship
Speaker 1: for the first time in my life, and I think
Speaker 1: it's my body, being like, girl, you're about to shut
Speaker 1: this down forever, like like your vagina is like done
Speaker 1: seeing anything new. Not that I'm like craving new dick generally,
Speaker 1: but there's some anxiety about being done, possibly in terms
Speaker 1: of like like I could not think about new dick,
Speaker 1: like you have the dick you want. There's some anxiety
Speaker 1: in my pus. It's anxiety for sure thing. I'm saying,
Speaker 1: maybe it could be a good thing, like your pussy
Speaker 1: is saying like, hey, we're good here. Why would it
Speaker 1: fire up like a fucking because maybe you don't even
Speaker 1: think about wandering you ever, I said, maybe it's your
Speaker 1: vagina's avoidant attached. Yes, that's what I think. My vagina
Speaker 1: is like giving one last like we're we're scared to
Speaker 1: be done and we're scared to maybe have a baby
Speaker 1: soon or like think about having a baby or whatever
Speaker 1: that is, which I'm not thinking about having a baby.
Speaker 1: But when you do find someone that really makes you secure,
Speaker 1: your body starts like like maturing, I guess in a way.
Speaker 1: And I think my body is like fighting having the
Speaker 1: last dying gasps, the death rattle of singleness, you know.
Speaker 1: And that's scary to me because I've never felt secure
Speaker 1: in a relationship where I'm like, I've always kind of
Speaker 1: thought there'll be others because this is not perfect, and
Speaker 1: this is good for now, but not now. I feel
Speaker 1: like this is maybe good forever, and it's scary. So
Speaker 1: I think that's very I I'm not giving up. I'm not.
Speaker 1: I like the idea. Some people hate when things are
Speaker 1: psychosomatic because they're like, no, it's it's my back. I
Speaker 1: like when it's something mental because it means I can
Speaker 1: treat it myself, and it means that there's things going on,
Speaker 1: like it's it's in my control, which I know it's
Speaker 1: not because if there's no free will. But do you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, Like I like when things are psychosomatic.
Speaker 1: I don't want to because honest, like, no, dude, it's
Speaker 1: your hormones changing, you're getting older. Yeah, there's poop like
Speaker 1: in your vagina. And I'm like no, but it could
Speaker 1: be both, Like that's the thing I'm always there's Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what I'm saying. You probably got poop on your yolk. Oh,
Speaker 1: we gotta get to the news. Let's do it alright, folks.
Speaker 1: We got uh some good stories here. It's Wednesday, so
Speaker 1: you know what that means. It is Wednesday. I believe
Speaker 1: that's mircreles in Spanish. Maybe I'm wrong in your French.
Speaker 1: Oh so yeah, so I'm probably right. Um, both hard
Speaker 1: to spell. Uh, I don't know where that in? Why
Speaker 1: is it's in there and I hope you're having all
Speaker 1: the swells and uh yeah, so what do you just
Speaker 1: strit to buy out there? What's going on with there?
Speaker 1: Are you're looking over there? Oh yeah, you're just looking.
Speaker 1: I mean it's a beautiful view even though you don't
Speaker 1: have a few. Yeah, there's nothing. It's it's a hill
Speaker 1: with like literally, I'm in a basement of this resort
Speaker 1: and they tried to dress it up by building like
Speaker 1: a hill with I don't know what's beyond it. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go hiking today for about four feet and find out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean that's gonna be it cold tub outside this like,
Speaker 1: I don't even know what it's supposed to be. It's
Speaker 1: a pool. I think Tony Robbins put it there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it looks like one of those whim off like dunk tanks.
Speaker 1: But it's definitely not that. Definitely be a hot tub.
Speaker 1: It should not be a cold tub. I don't know
Speaker 1: what's happening. It's and it's murky. It's very bizarre. Okay,
Speaker 1: what's in the news. A study finds face this satisfaction
Speaker 1: leads to exhaustion and burnout after video conferencing, so in short,
Speaker 1: if you don't like the way your face looks, staring
Speaker 1: at it on the computer screen for a long period
Speaker 1: of time is psychologically cost Yeah, dude, it's I mean,
Speaker 1: we're literally doing it right now, you know. That's it's.
Speaker 1: You know, this comes down to not liking your looks,
Speaker 1: which honestly, you're allowed to not like your looks and
Speaker 1: you're not allowed to be like, man, I wish my
Speaker 1: face looked different. But if your face makes you like disgusted,
Speaker 1: you gotta work on that because it ain't gonna get better. Um,
Speaker 1: And you got to accept yourself. You gotta learn to
Speaker 1: accept yourself because there I see my face all the
Speaker 1: fucking time, and it was really difficult for me. Um,
Speaker 1: you know when I mean, it's always been difficult for
Speaker 1: me to watch myself or look at videos of myself
Speaker 1: or look at photos of myself right away. Later on,
Speaker 1: I can always be like, wow, you know you've changed
Speaker 1: since then. But if you're looking if you're looking at
Speaker 1: your face right now, what would you That's a good question,
Speaker 1: because now people on YouTube can look at my face,
Speaker 1: I really have no problem. You know what I was thinking,
Speaker 1: I'm going to regret not brushing out my stringiness. I
Speaker 1: kind of have like an iggy pop thing going. But
Speaker 1: in terms of my face, like, I'm very happy. Let
Speaker 1: me be honest. I did have filler recently, so I
Speaker 1: had my under eyes filled here, and so I had
Speaker 1: my lips injected. My lips look a little bit like
Speaker 1: platypus in a way that but I actually like it. Um.
Speaker 1: The thing that bothers me about my face the most,
Speaker 1: if I'm going to nitpick, is there's a lot of things.
Speaker 1: There's just a lot of space here, and it can
Speaker 1: look like just so I wanted to be more like
Speaker 1: mm hmmm, like, but you know what. I also in
Speaker 1: my eyebrows sometimes look like sperms and that bugs me.
Speaker 1: But I promise you right now, for some reason, I
Speaker 1: just when it's just my face and it's in the
Speaker 1: moment and I can see it like this, there's nothing
Speaker 1: that really bothers me about it. I'm like, I'm fine
Speaker 1: the way I am. It's not the best face, but
Speaker 1: I'm good with it now. If I see this later,
Speaker 1: I'll go, what the funk are you thinking with that?
Speaker 1: But it's okay because it will be later and I
Speaker 1: can change the thing that I'm mad about. But if
Speaker 1: You're constantly looking at your and sometimes I'm looking at
Speaker 1: Noah right now and it makes me mad because she's
Speaker 1: so pretty, and it will make me upset. You're so pretty, Noah. Okay,
Speaker 1: so what do you see wrong with your face? No?
Speaker 1: Right now? Oh a lot. I don't even want to
Speaker 1: point it. I don't even want to do it. Do
Speaker 1: it will be interesting? Oh yeah, sorry, sorry, I don't
Speaker 1: want to make you do it, but do it so
Speaker 1: I can take a sharp right now and just market Yeah,
Speaker 1: for sure, because I have a couple of suggestions for you.
Speaker 1: I'm just I feel like my nose will look like
Speaker 1: the wire of the cord of the hair dryer, like
Speaker 1: the penis. Okay, room, turn it aside. Maybe we could
Speaker 1: see what we see in a Laddin or whatever. More side, No,
Speaker 1: your nose is not know what your nose is awesome
Speaker 1: and it's okay, this is what I wanted to know.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter. But the thing is, your nose does
Speaker 1: get bigger. And I was watching the Playboy documentary yesterday
Speaker 1: and Holly Madison, you guys, that is so good. A
Speaker 1: and E dot com. I can't wait to watch it's
Speaker 1: on Sling. I also don't those sling Holly Madison got
Speaker 1: her nose done and nose getting none. They all that's
Speaker 1: the same, and it is the tentpole to your face. Um, however, no,
Speaker 1: what what were you going to say about this article?
Speaker 1: So I was going to say this article. The thing
Speaker 1: that stuck out was, Um, when I went to like
Speaker 1: photo shoots with you and you asked me to look
Speaker 1: at the photos because you just didn't want to look
Speaker 1: at your face like a thousand times, Like now that
Speaker 1: we're doing everything on zoom and I have to do
Speaker 1: a lot of conferences on zoom and this recording on zoom,
Speaker 1: I am not used to being on camera. And the
Speaker 1: article was like, oh my god, it's so true. I've
Speaker 1: just been like having to like force to stare at
Speaker 1: my face so much. I'm not used to it. And
Speaker 1: now I really appreciate what Nikki was saying all those
Speaker 1: years ago where I understood kind of you know, I
Speaker 1: really understand it. So I think it's like you have
Speaker 1: to learn how to deal with it. Is some weird
Speaker 1: thing that people that aren't used to seeing themselves except
Speaker 1: in a mirror, which is look and it's a choice,
Speaker 1: where a zoom is not a choice. But the thing
Speaker 1: is what I would suggest for people because I go
Speaker 1: a lot to a lot of twelve step meetings on ZIP,
Speaker 1: so women have to get dressed up more like for business,
Speaker 1: Like like you have a ten o'clock zoom call, I
Speaker 1: have to put makeup in my room for your zoom
Speaker 1: when you first get on it, and for your peace
Speaker 1: of mind. Make it so you can't see yourself and
Speaker 1: you can't there's options. Do that for yourself, girls, because
Speaker 1: and you'll go but I don't know what I look
Speaker 1: like the whole time. Don't If you were in a
Speaker 1: board meeting, you wouldn't know what you look like the
Speaker 1: whole time. There's not a mirror, So just trust that
Speaker 1: it looks good at first, and then shut it off
Speaker 1: because honestly, you can't focus when I am. And then
Speaker 1: if you're bored in a meeting and you just want
Speaker 1: to like kind of mug to the camera and have
Speaker 1: some fun, yeah, turn it back on. But like it's
Speaker 1: so distracting you can't hear what the other persons saying
Speaker 1: because you're like, sometimes you're just like I look so good.
Speaker 1: Like sometimes it's the opposite where you're like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: like I'm beautiful, look at how it looks like when
Speaker 1: I'm like actually like looking like I'm like, you know,
Speaker 1: like interested. Wait now that we have control right now,
Speaker 1: Andrew of like how we like, we have absolute control
Speaker 1: of what this image looks like. Let's all try to
Speaker 1: do our face that we think we look the prettiest
Speaker 1: in or like the most hot. I can't yeah, okay, wait,
Speaker 1: why are we to the side, and Andrews? Because I
Speaker 1: look terrible from the side. My face falls apart from
Speaker 1: the side, it just becomes skinny. Do me lift up
Speaker 1: like this and open your mouth a little bit and
Speaker 1: go hi. That's my biggest trick. Noah's so pretty. This
Speaker 1: is my biggest trick for girls smiling and for my
Speaker 1: mom who always does this when she siles and I
Speaker 1: used to do this too. It just makes sure you
Speaker 1: look like Wallace and Grommet when you just put your
Speaker 1: teeth together and you just sign like this for hecks her.
Speaker 1: It's so unnatural, the best thing to do. And who
Speaker 1: gives a funk really about any of this? But because
Speaker 1: you're lovable as you are, even if you don't have
Speaker 1: a mouth. Um, But if you want to look the
Speaker 1: most aesthetically pleasing, tilting your head like up or like
Speaker 1: going huh, opening your mouth about it half an inch
Speaker 1: between your two both your bottom and lower teeth, going hey,
Speaker 1: when you style like for a picture, I always go,
Speaker 1: I always opened my mouth for a guy. It looks absurd.
Speaker 1: No it doesn't, No, it doesn't. Try that's cute. That's
Speaker 1: really good. That's good. A sea lion. Don't a friendly
Speaker 1: neighbor so much. Oh that's cute. I like. That's good. Andrew,
Speaker 1: that's good. Wait, do your smile and er do like
Speaker 1: your smile in a picture, not trying to. That's cute.
Speaker 1: That's good, that's really cute. Okay, now try to do
Speaker 1: your sexiest face because I was focused on mine. I
Speaker 1: want to see yours. Yeah, that's good. Now tilted to
Speaker 1: the side a little bit. Someone told me to actually
Speaker 1: think like you want to suck me? Wait, Nick Vile
Speaker 1: talking one where you look up and you go huh
Speaker 1: and then they click right when you look up. So
Speaker 1: tell me when to look up. Okay, look up, you
Speaker 1: look like a skater that just like sucking found new wheels. Um,
Speaker 1: it's uh no. But if you go, like, look at
Speaker 1: my eyes ready right now, I'll go I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: say fuck me. I'll just be like okay, now just
Speaker 1: think about, um, your protein powder right now and like power, Yeah,
Speaker 1: what do you want to suck your protein powder? Holy
Speaker 1: sh it? Okay, now think no, now I'm going to
Speaker 1: think about okay, no protein powder, just normal Okay, now
Speaker 1: think about sucking. You know what happened is calm started
Speaker 1: building in your eyes? No, um, no, you you do.
Speaker 1: You lowered your kind of just squinted more. But I
Speaker 1: feel you could see it in the eyes. Let me
Speaker 1: try mine. Okay. This is this is by the way,
Speaker 1: if you're listening at home, this is a sign to
Speaker 1: go to YouTube. Yeah, I mean we have to give
Speaker 1: them something. They have to go in a couple of days.
Speaker 1: And if you want to go right now as you're
Speaker 1: listening to this, because you listen daily, just go subscribe.
Speaker 1: Even if you don't watch things on YouTube, just give
Speaker 1: us a subscribe. Subscribe It helps everything, and and leave
Speaker 1: a nice comment. You know, we we really appreciate it.
Speaker 1: We love our listeners. Um, okay, so this is nice
Speaker 1: for that whatever. Regular face okay, regular face. Okay, just okay,
Speaker 1: now just think about just whatever, just like going about
Speaker 1: your day, okay, and now think seductive yeah that was yeah.
Speaker 1: Now you you you you kind of in a bit
Speaker 1: for me in the feminine energy. No, uh, it's not.
Speaker 1: This is me being like masculine energy of like like
Speaker 1: it's like I can't even do masculine energy because I
Speaker 1: want to. I guess. Okay, let me see my face.
Speaker 1: If I was trying to like flirt with Taylor Swift
Speaker 1: because in a Taylor Swift relationship, in a lesbian relationship,
Speaker 1: I believe I would be the masculine energy. So would
Speaker 1: be like this, whoa, that is masculine. Yeah, okay, now
Speaker 1: this is me if with I'm if with a with
Speaker 1: a man, oh man, maybe combine them. That's why, because
Speaker 1: that feels to me. If I see that guy in
Speaker 1: a bumble picture, that guy has fun and guys don't.
Speaker 1: I've said this all the time. Men need to smile
Speaker 1: in their pictures because you want a guy who's fun
Speaker 1: and although it's not like sexually threatening, put a picture
Speaker 1: in there that you're not smiling, and then the rest
Speaker 1: of them smile. And what do you feel about cap sleeves, um,
Speaker 1: because this is the cap sleeve episode. If you are
Speaker 1: not watching on YouTube, we are capping our sleeves because
Speaker 1: Noah's shirt naturally does a cap sleeve muscle t um.
Speaker 1: Let's get to the next news story. Yeah, I just
Speaker 1: see forehead when I look in these things. You said,
Speaker 1: my forehead doesn't look big, but it looks normal, and
Speaker 1: then you can see like a losing hair, and so
Speaker 1: it's like, that's all I see. Man. I ran into
Speaker 1: a guy the other night, a comedian I told you
Speaker 1: about him. Remember the comedian I told you that asked
Speaker 1: me out ages ago? He asked me out, Noah. I
Speaker 1: think this was during U UP days. He asked me
Speaker 1: out um one night and I was like, oh, I've
Speaker 1: always liked this guy. And we had like really flirty,
Speaker 1: fun energy one night and he was like, hey, do
Speaker 1: you want to go? We exchanged text. I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I've always thought this guy is so cute,
Speaker 1: and he's having like a really moment in his career
Speaker 1: at this time, and he was feeling like he was
Speaker 1: just adorable and funny. And he asked me out later
Speaker 1: that night and he was like, Hey, tomorrow, my friends
Speaker 1: is my friend's birthday. We're going to this place. Do
Speaker 1: you want to come dancing? And I was like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, this is you know post Dancing with the Stars,
Speaker 1: but I was just like, I don't really I don't drink, Like,
Speaker 1: how am I gonna But I was like, yes, I'll
Speaker 1: go dancing, like this sounds fun, So I said, yes,
Speaker 1: that sounds so fun. The next day comes, I never
Speaker 1: hear from him the whole day, and he has written
Speaker 1: me the day, but this isn't like a week before.
Speaker 1: He just doesn't write me the next day, and so
Speaker 1: I went to the comedy store and I found his
Speaker 1: At the time we're supposed to be dancing, I just
Speaker 1: I didn't hear from him. So I just took a
Speaker 1: set and I went to the comedy store and I
Speaker 1: got his name from the marquis. You know the big
Speaker 1: when you have your name on the marquee at the
Speaker 1: comedy store. It's like a big plastic uh strip that
Speaker 1: has your name on it, and they just throw it up.
Speaker 1: They don't do individual letters. And I asked for his
Speaker 1: name because it's like six ft tall, it's huge. And
Speaker 1: then I did a video where I was dancing with it,
Speaker 1: just to be like, oh, I'm dancing with this person,
Speaker 1: and I sent it to him being it was like
Speaker 1: I'm so I'm having so much One dancing with you,
Speaker 1: because I also saw in his story that he was
Speaker 1: at the place where he's dancing, and I'm like, what
Speaker 1: the fuck. I ran into that guy the other night
Speaker 1: and immediately he's like hey, and I just I didn't
Speaker 1: recognize him because he got he got plugs, and that's
Speaker 1: not why I didn't recognize him, though I think other
Speaker 1: things changed about him too. He like looked taller. I
Speaker 1: don't know, but um, I was just he's he like
Speaker 1: looked at me, and I don't usually see him at
Speaker 1: this venue, and so I was like, you know, I
Speaker 1: just smiled because I thought he was like a fan
Speaker 1: or something. And then I walked by and I was like,
Speaker 1: that guy looks familiar. I probably know him. And he
Speaker 1: looked at me in a way that was like we're friends.
Speaker 1: And then he comes up and he's like, hey, it's
Speaker 1: me and I was like, oh hi, oh my god,
Speaker 1: good to see you. And he got plug he's I go,
Speaker 1: I didn't recognize you, and he's like, it's I got
Speaker 1: plugs and they look great. Which I really do recommend
Speaker 1: guys get it if you can afford it and like
Speaker 1: want to invest in it. But um I went on stage,
Speaker 1: he brought me on stage and I called him out
Speaker 1: on stage and was like, hey, remember when you asked
Speaker 1: me to go dancing that you didn't call me the
Speaker 1: next day and he was like, I go what happened
Speaker 1: there from the stage And I was intimidated, and I'm
Speaker 1: just like, I know you were probably that's the right answer,
Speaker 1: but like too late. And then uh, he was like,
Speaker 1: do you want to go dancing now? And I was like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm seeing someone too late, and um he texted me,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm I'm not kidding you. As soon as I
Speaker 1: am locking it down with someone, men are coming out
Speaker 1: of the fucking tsking me out, and it's so nice
Speaker 1: to say you came about so you don't suck them.
Speaker 1: That's where my point was. That doesn't stop me. No,
Speaker 1: that's not I'm not that like I wouldn't want to
Speaker 1: suck these guys. It's not like that's what's stopping me,
Speaker 1: is my man, I wouldn't do that, But I know
Speaker 1: I got what you're saying. You know what you're saying
Speaker 1: is just like due, my uber app keeps crashing, so
Speaker 1: I can't like go yeah, Like it's like your parental
Speaker 1: controls on your own pussy. Yeah, but it was. It
Speaker 1: is interesting that I keep getting us out. But it's
Speaker 1: so fun to say to them, Listen, if I wasn't
Speaker 1: seeing someone, I would definitely entertain hanging out with you.
Speaker 1: But I am seeing someone. And by the way, they
Speaker 1: don't go, hey, can I ask you out so we
Speaker 1: can work towards having sex? They just go, hey, do
Speaker 1: you want to make me get a bite sometime this weekend?
Speaker 1: And then when I say, hey, I'm seeing someone, they go,
Speaker 1: I just wanted as a friend, and I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: you didn't, ye don't. And it's it's not bad that,
Speaker 1: by the way, I said that I would go if
Speaker 1: I wasn't seeing someone, I would entertain this, but I so,
Speaker 1: why are you covering it up? Like and also, okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: let me go over now as a friend. But the
Speaker 1: thing is they think they still haven't. They think they
Speaker 1: hear that you're dating someone, and they still think that
Speaker 1: maybe it's not going well or something. I've been that
Speaker 1: girl before where I'm like, oh, well this is gonna
Speaker 1: fall apart. I should just get in there. But um,
Speaker 1: but most of them are one response I had and
Speaker 1: he's a listener, and so I'll say I really appreciate it,
Speaker 1: because he was like, I hope he treats you well.
Speaker 1: You deserve it. It It was a very nice thing. And
Speaker 1: to that person, he is treating me well. And I
Speaker 1: felt like being like, you're the screenshots of the nice
Speaker 1: things he has to make to prove that this guy
Speaker 1: treating me well. Um, let's get to the next news story.
Speaker 1: We gotta go to break, we gotta go to break. Um,
Speaker 1: let's do that and then come back with why do
Speaker 1: I care? Or maybe just another news story that you like. Alright,
Speaker 1: we're back. Why do I care? Um? Why do I care? Mind?
Speaker 1: Do you care? Okay? Should we do Kim Kardashian is
Speaker 1: how what makes her horny? Or do you want to
Speaker 1: do Kate Thurston antidepressants before Bachelorette? Or do you want
Speaker 1: to do the most embarrassing style trends the year you
Speaker 1: were born? Um? I wanted to hear about Katie Thurston,
Speaker 1: and then I might want to hear the other ones.
Speaker 1: But let's talk with Bachelorette Katie Thurston. I tried to
Speaker 1: watch The Bachelor last night that aired on Monday. I
Speaker 1: couldn't do it. It is I'm so they did this
Speaker 1: whole group date where they're in a circle and they're
Speaker 1: talking about like they're sharing their like most like like
Speaker 1: their intimate things of like I grew up not feeling
Speaker 1: like I was pretty, and like one girl's like I
Speaker 1: grew up and everyone thought it was too skinny, and like, honestly,
Speaker 1: I do know that that's a real thing. Girls that
Speaker 1: are naturally skinny. People make fun of them for being antorexic,
Speaker 1: and there's you can be insecure about your body if
Speaker 1: you're too skinny. But it was funny to see all
Speaker 1: these girls that around the circle just being like, yeah,
Speaker 1: but you were too skinny. That's like so sad. And
Speaker 1: then just all these beautiful people just being like I
Speaker 1: thought it was ugly, But the truth is, beautiful people
Speaker 1: think they're ugly more than not beautiful people. To be
Speaker 1: honest with you, as I've seen in my most beautiful friends,
Speaker 1: I just keep hearing a Marilyn Manson song while you're
Speaker 1: talking utiful people, the beautiful Oh my god, did you
Speaker 1: hear about him? And yeah, okay, I love that. We
Speaker 1: all didn't see that coming. Um, okay, Andrew, uh, tell
Speaker 1: me about Katie Thurston And he took out a rib
Speaker 1: so he couldn't rape someone, Okay, anyways, we could take that.
Speaker 1: I thought that was flee Uh Katie Thurston. She started
Speaker 1: taking anti presents before the season. Uh Sparks. I once
Speaker 1: felt for life or doubts with judgment and criticism of
Speaker 1: not only strangers, but even once I worked closely with.
Speaker 1: I was drowning, trying to articulate a little bit. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like you're drowned my tears blah blah blah, unable
Speaker 1: to even recognize the girl. But whatever, I started thinking,
Speaker 1: it sounds like when I'm gathering from this. Noah, let
Speaker 1: me ask you about the handle negativity. She took them.
Speaker 1: She took them because yeah, so it wouldn't affect her
Speaker 1: as much. Um yeah, I mean it was this before
Speaker 1: the season came out, so just to be prepared. She
Speaker 1: was already getting these negative comments. She turned off her
Speaker 1: Instagram and like put her phone away and tried to
Speaker 1: block out as much negativity. Do not if you go
Speaker 1: on a reality show as a normal person who was
Speaker 1: not used to being in the spotlight and you do
Speaker 1: not have fucking panic attacks about how then you then
Speaker 1: there's then you are superhuman, because it is I would
Speaker 1: never I mean I'm just I'm so grateful that I
Speaker 1: did not get famous and have people have opinions about
Speaker 1: me until I was in recovery for my eating disorder
Speaker 1: and listen, it started before, but it didn't get intense
Speaker 1: until before um, and it's still not intense. I don't
Speaker 1: want it to get any more intense. I love the
Speaker 1: level of fame of Matt. I want my besties and
Speaker 1: that's all I need. Um, But there's nothing, like you said, Noah,
Speaker 1: being on Zoom and seeing your face you didn't sign
Speaker 1: up for. This is not what you a part of
Speaker 1: life that you wanted to stare at your face all day.
Speaker 1: That's why I don't even like going to the fucking
Speaker 1: hairdresser because you got to look at the mer the
Speaker 1: whole time. And I'm like, this is like forced zooming. Um,
Speaker 1: if you're let's be honest. People think they want to
Speaker 1: go on a raility show, that's why they go on it.
Speaker 1: But it's Holly Madison in this playboys show called The
Speaker 1: Secrets of Playboys on Anny. I'm it's I'm watching it
Speaker 1: two episodes and it's great. But Holly Madison, who was
Speaker 1: on Girls next Door, she had so much confidence. Who's this,
Speaker 1: you know, small town Alaska girl so much confidence. Always
Speaker 1: felt like she thinks she has aspergers. She's not diagnosed,
Speaker 1: but she's like, I think I have aspergers. So she's
Speaker 1: like me just diagnosing herself with autism. So she um.
Speaker 1: She had so much confidence and then being in the
Speaker 1: you would think that the validation of being has chosen
Speaker 1: girlfriend would give her confidence. She was suicidal in there,
Speaker 1: like yeah, but he represents that the cog of being
Speaker 1: hot and like judging women and that harshly, like there's
Speaker 1: no as a woman when you get older and you
Speaker 1: get sexualized, and especially in entertainment, when people start having
Speaker 1: judgments about your body, and like you have to be
Speaker 1: in the spotlight so much, you just buckle up, buckle up,
Speaker 1: and we I just I gotta start something for young
Speaker 1: women that just prepares them for this, because it's unavoidable
Speaker 1: in this day and age to not be judged to
Speaker 1: not you know, you were saying that to me about
Speaker 1: like you're like every girl got it. Every girl has
Speaker 1: issues with her looks, no matter how like just the
Speaker 1: more friends that people you talk to, it's like it
Speaker 1: doesn't no one avoids it. Men do too. I'm not
Speaker 1: making this just a woman issue, but women. It's really interesting,
Speaker 1: like with women that get famous through like a reality
Speaker 1: show when they're younger and whatever deemed hotter, right, and
Speaker 1: then they have to then come out with a show
Speaker 1: of saying how horrible their life was just to be
Speaker 1: able to garner It's not attention. But what I'm what
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think about though, is like it's like
Speaker 1: like you are doing it because you want to tell
Speaker 1: your story, but there is money involved because but then
Speaker 1: the other but but I'm saying the flip side tod
Speaker 1: that is like you're aging, so then there is no
Speaker 1: other option for you to make money. I found like
Speaker 1: it was, Yeah, that's a good point. Well, I found
Speaker 1: that because I was watching a lot of this last
Speaker 1: night of these you know girls on the Bachelorette saying
Speaker 1: like I used to hate the way I look and
Speaker 1: and be honest, they all still do. These are young girls.
Speaker 1: They're not unless most young girls. I know, if we're
Speaker 1: get a group of twelve of them, I don't know
Speaker 1: that they've all had body four hours ago. I hated
Speaker 1: my face. Yeah, but I I've changed now that I'm
Speaker 1: on TV crying about it next to the guy I
Speaker 1: want to marry better makeup. It's the thing I was
Speaker 1: realizing is that women who are sexualized and spend time
Speaker 1: in the spotlight and look like they're living the best life,
Speaker 1: it's almost like the pendulum will always swing the other way.
Speaker 1: It's almost all like these playmates, all of them. There's
Speaker 1: just like dozens of these women that like we're in
Speaker 1: hell and hate their bodies and like felt like abused.
Speaker 1: It's there's always this other side of it that is
Speaker 1: so dark and sad, and it's like I just feel
Speaker 1: I feel for young girls who hate the way they
Speaker 1: look now because or like what that are struggling because
Speaker 1: I think about even myself now when I look at
Speaker 1: the mirror and I'm like, oh myself, It's like, bitch,
Speaker 1: this is not going to get any better for you
Speaker 1: in terms of like funck ability. You're only getting older,
Speaker 1: so you better like yourself now. This isn't gonna If
Speaker 1: you can't accept yourself now your life, you're gonna be
Speaker 1: set up for misery. Almost. I don't know how to
Speaker 1: fix it. With age, you start letting go of some
Speaker 1: superficial things and then like you don't that's what I
Speaker 1: don't try to keep up. You don't try to like
Speaker 1: you're at it. You got you. You wen't just gotta
Speaker 1: wait for age to make you not give a ship.
Speaker 1: You literally have to work. I remember being like knowing
Speaker 1: that my my face was gonna fall, things were gonna
Speaker 1: get worse and sagg ear and everything, and that I
Speaker 1: was in a mad dash to accept myself before that
Speaker 1: stuff started happening, because that the way I used to
Speaker 1: judge myself there was I wasn't going to survive that,
Speaker 1: and you do. You have to. It's not about like
Speaker 1: looking in the mirror and being like you're beautiful over
Speaker 1: and over. It is truly, um it's it's a spiritual process. Honestly.
Speaker 1: It's about like accepting that it's not your faults. The
Speaker 1: way you look. It's not up to you the way
Speaker 1: you look, even though you think you you have some
Speaker 1: kind of say in it, it's not. And even if
Speaker 1: you were a burn victim tomorrow you would doesn't mean
Speaker 1: or like disfigured facially or you know, had some sort
Speaker 1: of condition that made you balloon up. Like those things
Speaker 1: can all happen like that. So do you kill yourself
Speaker 1: because of those things? If all of your worth is
Speaker 1: on this so you have to get to a place
Speaker 1: where it's like I'm more than that. I think what
Speaker 1: happens is like you try so hard, whether you're a
Speaker 1: woman or also men, but like you try so hard,
Speaker 1: like for me personally, like you would try, like I
Speaker 1: gotta get my body right, I gotta look good for
Speaker 1: this spring break, Like I gotta like be as ripped
Speaker 1: as possible. I gotta like I can't have a receding hairline.
Speaker 1: And then what happens is you get a little bit
Speaker 1: older and you get to like thirty, and you're like,
Speaker 1: oh man, I'm older now, none of that ship matters.
Speaker 1: And then you go almost the opposite of letting yourself
Speaker 1: go like I'm just an old man. Now, I'm just
Speaker 1: I'm a man, which isn't good either. So then you
Speaker 1: gotta find a way to be like, oh no, you
Speaker 1: can still exercise and like be you're like whatever, best
Speaker 1: self feel good. Yes, it's for your like working out
Speaker 1: for your mental health, not for your physical I mean,
Speaker 1: because when the mental is good, it goes outwards. You
Speaker 1: couldn't even stop it if you wanted to. It's all
Speaker 1: about up there. That's why I'm just like this U
Speaker 1: T I ship I refuse to believe it's a physical condition.
Speaker 1: I know it's something going on upstairs about me not
Speaker 1: accepting the way the things are, or it's like ship
Speaker 1: in let's get to the Wednesday wild Card game of
Speaker 1: the week. It is uh and we're gonna play it.
Speaker 1: In final thought, I love how we're I love how
Speaker 1: we're transitioning from like just this really like body positive,
Speaker 1: like feminist like energy into the most misogynist game I've
Speaker 1: ever encountered, which I want to thank Barstool Sports for
Speaker 1: putting out this game called Answer the Internet, which is
Speaker 1: a downloadable app, and Kevin Clancy, who is one of
Speaker 1: the guys from KFC Radio, which is but KFC was
Speaker 1: the one that sent me. He did the grunt work
Speaker 1: of sending me the code so I could get the
Speaker 1: superpack of this game that usually have to pay for.
Speaker 1: So shout out to him, even though he trashed me
Speaker 1: on that podcast about my song for Bob. Okay, so, um,
Speaker 1: let's get to it. You even have a music career,
Speaker 1: just he Oh that's nice. Okay, then I'm back on
Speaker 1: team team plans. Um let's get to um. So we
Speaker 1: have we have definite um my deck's Okay, best of
Speaker 1: deck number one, Best of Deck number two. Okay, let's
Speaker 1: do this. Start playing. I'm only one with the cards.
Speaker 1: So have you ever dated a person you banged on
Speaker 1: the first or second date? Have you ever? Yes, you've
Speaker 1: dated them? I fucking dude. I was like, dude, I
Speaker 1: can't believe I'm gonna date to slip no offense. But
Speaker 1: weren't you and Brenna? Like the third date just doesn't
Speaker 1: count that one? Yeah, so you're talking about someone else
Speaker 1: you dated second completely Okay it is I'm saying for
Speaker 1: its first or second most. I've only been in three relationships.
Speaker 1: One girl I waited about seven months. Another girl, Yes,
Speaker 1: it was like the second date and then second day. Okay,
Speaker 1: but yeah, but you know what, yeah, I don't even know. No.
Speaker 1: What about you? Have you ever dated a person you
Speaker 1: banged on the first your second date? Yes? Her heart?
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Yeah? Alright, my answer is no,
Speaker 1: but I would have liked to. They just didn't want to,
Speaker 1: all right, damn? Okay, Okay, Andrew, this one's for ye. Okay.
Speaker 1: Would you rather have one giant dick for an arm
Speaker 1: or have all your fingers be dicks? This isn't real question.
Speaker 1: You guys. I wait, do you still have a dick?
Speaker 1: Another dick? A regular dick? Yeah? Then in that case,
Speaker 1: I'd rather have one dick being on an arm, okay,
Speaker 1: because I'd be pretty You don't get to answer it
Speaker 1: because we don't even know what to be like to
Speaker 1: have a dick? Okay? Would you rather have a vagina
Speaker 1: for an arm or five or five vaginas for fingers?
Speaker 1: I mean what then? Would even okay, would you rather
Speaker 1: the would you? Would you rather be naked all the
Speaker 1: time or clothed all the time? I mean clothed all
Speaker 1: the time? Who who would want to be naked all
Speaker 1: the time? You couldn't live your life, can you? And
Speaker 1: what's hotter than like like pulling the panties to the side,
Speaker 1: you know, but that's not that's partly I don't know.
Speaker 1: That's well, these questions you can interpret them as you wish.
Speaker 1: Would you have to tell your mom everything sexual that
Speaker 1: you've done or have to show her your entire born y?
Speaker 1: I'd rather show her my entire porn in history. She's
Speaker 1: not the younger when she was younger, I would definitely
Speaker 1: she's older, dude, when older, don't think like I like, yeah, gross?
Speaker 1: It was like before, like you even moved out of Chicago. Dude,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, what about you know, your mom hearing
Speaker 1: about every sexual experience you've had or your porn hitting me?
Speaker 1: Probably porn history because it would devastate her more, honestly,
Speaker 1: might oh, because it would devastate her more. Jesus Christ,
Speaker 1: that is a great answer. Holy Ship. Um, that's so funny.
Speaker 1: It would kill her. Honestly, My porn history is so
Speaker 1: much worse than the things I've done. And I've done
Speaker 1: some really gross stuff, but my porn history is so
Speaker 1: much more embarrassing. I wouldn't even want to show my
Speaker 1: lover my porn history. You talk about your porn history
Speaker 1: all the time on here, Yeah, but I'm not telling
Speaker 1: you the real It's insane. Yeah, it's weird. I really
Speaker 1: feel weird about it, Tom Papa. And what's the other one? Uh?
Speaker 1: Would you rather fight? Oh? This is the worst one.
Speaker 1: I hate that one. Um oh no, oh my god,
Speaker 1: this is the kiss. Would you rather be drunk twenty
Speaker 1: four seven or never drink again? Man? I mean I
Speaker 1: think we answer to whatever. Dude, I'd rather kill a
Speaker 1: family at nine am then live happily in my life.
Speaker 1: You know, my god, this is the worst one. Andrew,
Speaker 1: would you rather these are all for boys? But honestly
Speaker 1: know what this one? Because are we doing what they
Speaker 1: do to this song? Like about Yes, but I'm calling
Speaker 1: you rather make fun of someone singing about a dead celebrity?
Speaker 1: They kind of know the monetize and uh I would
Speaker 1: I would say no, because nothing about this is edgy. No,
Speaker 1: it's not right. Okay. Would you rather sit on a
Speaker 1: dick and eat a cake? Or sit on a cake
Speaker 1: and eat a dick? Okay, so you have to have
Speaker 1: a dick in your butt and eat a cake or
Speaker 1: sit on a cake and eat a dick. That's kind
Speaker 1: of a good question for you. You're eating the or
Speaker 1: you're sucking a dick. Um, I think I'd rather let's
Speaker 1: think about you have a normal asshole. Let's think about that.
Speaker 1: That's good point. So a normal asshole, normal mouth and teeth.
Speaker 1: I have all my teeth and no anal fissures. And okay,
Speaker 1: I would say I'd rather, you know what, part of
Speaker 1: me no, But part of me thinks like if I'm
Speaker 1: eating a cake and it's delicious, it will distract distract
Speaker 1: me from the assidu like the dick in my mouth
Speaker 1: and then I'm not even getting cake it. Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: there's that one, like pretty like real, like I really was. No.
Speaker 1: I think you should know what about you and let's
Speaker 1: think of it as obvious. Oh, I think sitting on
Speaker 1: a dick and eating a cake vagina? Do a vagina?
Speaker 1: To split it up? Would you rather sit on a
Speaker 1: croissant and eat a vagina? So? Would you rather scissor
Speaker 1: a girl and eat like rub clips together and eat
Speaker 1: a cake or sit on a cake and eat a clip?
Speaker 1: I would rather sit on a cake and eat a clip, same,
Speaker 1: because I just don't want those calories. I don't like sugar.
Speaker 1: It's honestly about that, more than actually sitting on a
Speaker 1: cake will give us a yeast infectionause of the sugar.
Speaker 1: Kind of want to do it? Wait? What would you
Speaker 1: would you want a big gas candle on there? Boy? Uh? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Like one of those um yeah, like the ones that
Speaker 1: are in churches that are like for a number in
Speaker 1: the dark. Wait what? Um? Why don't you like what
Speaker 1: the idea of scissoring with a girl is that? What
Speaker 1: is that? Due to your brain? When you think about it,
Speaker 1: it kind of turns me on. It's just like anything like, Um,
Speaker 1: I'm I don't. I think on the Kinsey scale, I'm
Speaker 1: probably a two in terms of like if if gay
Speaker 1: is zero in ten or seven is straight, I think
Speaker 1: it's one to seven. I'm like a two. Um, but
Speaker 1: I could definitely, Um, I would definitely do that. I
Speaker 1: think it would be kind of fun to like. And
Speaker 1: the thing is like sexist all the things I think
Speaker 1: about where I'm like, oh, i'd be nervous about doing that,
Speaker 1: eating pussy or whatever. Um, I just feel like at
Speaker 1: this point in my life, I'm just so I can
Speaker 1: be so honest about how what I do not know
Speaker 1: and what I do know in bed that it would
Speaker 1: be And I'm so much more open with women in
Speaker 1: terms of like being able to be like insecure around
Speaker 1: them that I honestly think i'd be like, I don't
Speaker 1: know what I'm doing and just be I mean, I
Speaker 1: will hook up with a girl someday. There is something
Speaker 1: about becoming so comfortable with a friend that it's like
Speaker 1: it's not even like sex, like you would never do
Speaker 1: it with a friend, but but like the idea of
Speaker 1: like okay, because I would want it to be because
Speaker 1: then you can't go back to like it'd be like
Speaker 1: looking up with your guy friends. What if they just forget?
Speaker 1: What if they just forget like them? My point is
Speaker 1: is like then it's just like, oh, it's my friend,
Speaker 1: You're just like eating an arm. Okay, I have one
Speaker 1: question to finish us out, Andrew take us out of
Speaker 1: the podcast with You have to pick one food for
Speaker 1: your best friend. Let let it be me to chew
Speaker 1: up and spit in your mouth. What food do you choose? Pussycake? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that dick because I like little dicks. One food just
Speaker 1: chew up and spit in your mouth. I would have
Speaker 1: to say shit, that's tough, man, I don't want seeds.
Speaker 1: I would say avocado because you've made guacamole. That's good,
Speaker 1: But it would be like spitty. I would choose like
Speaker 1: something that you could liquify so that when you spit it,
Speaker 1: it would be like, I convince myself it's liquid. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's kind of already a mucacie. I would pick like
Speaker 1: watermelon because it's so lottery that the spit could like
Speaker 1: and it would be like watermelon juice is so good.
Speaker 1: By the way, does it bother you? If a girl
Speaker 1: you're dating makes more money than you go. We have
Speaker 1: to go. We have to go to break. Thank you
Speaker 1: guys for listening. Think about ponder that question. Not your
Speaker 1: Wednesday said break. Yeah, we're breaking till tomorrow. No, I
Speaker 1: don't don't think that I meant that. I really fucked
Speaker 1: up and said break, but I saved it. That's like
Speaker 1: when you when you fall back in a chair and
Speaker 1: you're like, I meant to do that. That was fun. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's sweet, dude, I meant to trip and falling. Kerston
Speaker 1: and I used to make fun of guys in eighth
Speaker 1: grade who would lead back in their chair so much
Speaker 1: and then they'd fall over and they'd be like, well,
Speaker 1: that was actually fun. I want to do it again.
Speaker 1: The first stand up joke I ever like laughed hard
Speaker 1: at is a black guy was doing a joke where
Speaker 1: he goes, you know, when a white guy falls, he's like,
Speaker 1: but when a black guy falls, he goes and then
Speaker 1: he hits a jump shot like he like turns it
Speaker 1: into like he meant to fall to then like back,
Speaker 1: and I just remember laughing. Never seen a black eye fall.
Speaker 1: I've never seen that. I don't know bucket list. All right, guys,
Speaker 1: we gotta go. Thank you for listening to the podcast
Speaker 1: Don't Be Cut and Jack Sparrow, Oh, it seems new
Speaker 1: to me. It feels new.