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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Angie, and this is key On, your

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Speaker 1: favorite Okay Storytime host, and we've got great stories coming

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Speaker 1: right up.

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Speaker 2: But before that, we have a quick two minute break

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Speaker 2: from the sponsors that keep this show alive.

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Speaker 1: My boyfriend sent our cat home for the holidays, then

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Speaker 1: tried to give her away.

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Speaker 3: Your boyfriend sounds like the branch for context.

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Speaker 1: Me, twenty four female, and my now long distance boyfriend

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Speaker 1: twenty four male of four years adopted a cat together

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Speaker 1: in July twenty nineteen. I found the Facebook post of

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Speaker 1: the cat. Intro was to go get her and I

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Speaker 1: filled out adoption papers for him while he took her

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Speaker 1: to the vet, et cetera. By the way, this comes

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Speaker 1: from user regular Yogurt and if you want to submit

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Speaker 1: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime

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Speaker 1: seburt it. I'm Keon, I'm Carly, and we're here to

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Speaker 1: give good advice Goofley, But we don't have all the answers.

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Speaker 1: We only know what we do, so let us know

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Speaker 1: what you'd do in the comments. As Opie says, I

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Speaker 1: did not put my name on the adoption papers at

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Speaker 1: the time, since my roommates were allergic and I was

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Speaker 1: busy with school. A lot of the responsibility for the

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Speaker 1: cat was on my boyfriend for about two years, since

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Speaker 1: he had a full time job as a way and

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Speaker 1: bartender and he lived in a house versus me in

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Speaker 1: an apartment. I also helped him pay for some vet

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Speaker 1: fees along the way and spend time with both him

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Speaker 1: and the cat during all those years. Fast forward to

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Speaker 1: twenty twenty. You know what happens then, where he had

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Speaker 1: to move back to his parents' home during the pandemic

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Speaker 1: and the cat was with his mom. His mom initially

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Speaker 1: hated cats until she met our cat. She took care

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Speaker 1: of the cat for around six months until he had

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Speaker 1: to move for school. I had agreed to take in

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Speaker 1: the cat when I moved to another state for a job.

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Speaker 1: His mom did not want to take care of our

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Speaker 1: cat any longer, so he asked me since I was

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Speaker 1: moving out and getting my own place, I took her

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Speaker 1: in this past summer. So I have been living with

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Speaker 1: her every day for about six months, and I have

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Speaker 1: grown much more emotionally attached to her. I have even

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Speaker 1: considered having her registered as an emotional support animal. Cute

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Speaker 1: present December twenty twenty one. Although I originally planned to

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Speaker 1: find a sitter in my new city. He asked me

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Speaker 1: to fly our cat back to me and my boyfriend's

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Speaker 1: home state because his mom missed I was initially wary

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Speaker 1: because I had friends saying they could sit her, so

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Speaker 1: I wasn't sure I wanted to have her fly. He

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Speaker 1: constantly kept telling me to take her back to his

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Speaker 1: mom's place and made me feel bad since his mom

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Speaker 1: missed the cat very much, why didn't the mom come

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Speaker 1: over and pick her up. I finally agreed I would

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Speaker 1: take her to his mom since it was cheaper than

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Speaker 1: a sitter, and because it was the holidays and I

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Speaker 1: knew his mom had really missed the cat. We agreed

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Speaker 1: that he would fly the cat back with him because

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Speaker 1: he was supposed to visit me in January twenty twenty two. Then,

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Speaker 1: all of a sudden, he revealed to me over text

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Speaker 1: that if his mom decided to keep our cat, he

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Speaker 1: would let her. Our cat is currently at his mom's house.

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Speaker 1: I felt extremely betrayed by his sudden decision with no

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Speaker 1: prior discussion, and we started to argue about his decision

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Speaker 1: that came from nowhere and was not agreed upon in

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Speaker 1: our initial plan. He said it would save me time

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Speaker 1: and money, and then I wouldn't have to keep finding

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Speaker 1: a sitter. He said he would ask his mom if

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Speaker 1: she would keep the cat, and that I had no

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Speaker 1: say in this, since he is her main owner and

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Speaker 1: has taken care of her longer. Even though he sees

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Speaker 1: me as a co parent. He thinks it is the

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Speaker 1: best option for the cat because I have a full

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Speaker 1: time job and live alone, so I can't give the

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Speaker 1: cat enough attention right. He said that initially before giving

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Speaker 1: the cat under my care, he wanted his mom to

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Speaker 1: take care of her. In my defense, my job is

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Speaker 1: fully remote still and I usually spend all day at

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Speaker 1: home with our cat. I am more than financially able

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Speaker 1: to take care of the cat, and I have friends

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Speaker 1: who are more than happy to take care of her

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Speaker 1: if I'm away for a short amount of time. I've

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Speaker 1: paid for several vet visits, vaccines, and have long term

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Speaker 1: materials for her at my apartment. I ofsidly got her microchipped.

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Speaker 1: He swore she was chipped. She was not, as well

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Speaker 1: as a caller ID both registered to my name and

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Speaker 1: address that we have a text from him. I tried

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Speaker 1: my hardest to convince my mom to keep her with her,

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Speaker 1: since you were being hesitant after making the promise to

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Speaker 1: take her when you moved and I found out I

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Speaker 1: was heading to said city, but she didn't want to

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Speaker 1: because of the promise you'd make to take her in

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Speaker 1: the first place. Also, nothing is decided at all at

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Speaker 1: this point, and I am free to decide what I

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Speaker 1: feel is best when it comes to Luna. Because while

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Speaker 1: you are a co parent and have invested both emotionally

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Speaker 1: and financially and taking care of Luna these past few months,

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Speaker 1: but that's it. My mom has done the same, if

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Speaker 1: not more, for Luna as well, so that argument just

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Speaker 1: does not hold value. I am the majority shareholder for Luna,

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Speaker 1: always was and always will be. So if I go

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Speaker 1: home and Mom says that she wants to keep Luna

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Speaker 1: around for real this time, I'm going to let her

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Speaker 1: do that.

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Speaker 3: I'm sorry that he did that to you, and maybe

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Speaker 3: he should pay you back for somebody.

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Speaker 1: I was going to say, financially compensate for what you did,

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Speaker 1: especially when she wasn't when Luna wasn't chipped or anything

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Speaker 1: like that, which is really annoying that visiting or where

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Speaker 1: was this when you were deciding to do this. I

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Speaker 1: don't know. It sounds like his communication is abysmal, which

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Speaker 1: is fair, which I bring up the case of you

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Speaker 1: have all this cat stuff, maybe.

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Speaker 3: Adopted, Yeah, why don't you get a cat?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: If this is gonna be like, yeah, I guarantee you

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Speaker 1: are emotionally attached to Luna, which does suck.

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Speaker 2: I get it.

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Speaker 3: You can't just replace Luna.

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Speaker 1: But if you don't want to, like, you know, take

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Speaker 1: all the stuff or get really upset about it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and you're like, I want to be a pet owner foster. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: this could be a you know, opening the door for

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Speaker 1: you for having a pet. But it does suck because

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Speaker 1: of the paperwork.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Op.

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Speaker 1: He says. I'm super hurt by this and feel tricked

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Speaker 1: since this was not our agreement when I flew in

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Speaker 1: with the cats. I feel like he wouldn't even have

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Speaker 1: the cat if it wasn't for me. I also feel

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Speaker 1: that he didn't care about my feelings, used me as

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Speaker 1: a babysitter. This respected me, talked down to me, and

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Speaker 1: didn't even listen to my opinion as a co parent,

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Speaker 1: I would agree. I also agree. I told him that

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Speaker 1: if he did this, I would never forgive it, and

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Speaker 1: he claims that I was being selfish for not thinking

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Speaker 1: about what is best for our cat. I honestly don't

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Speaker 1: know what to do in this situation other than my

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Speaker 1: feelings are of hurt and anger. I do not want

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Speaker 1: to break up, but I think that may be the

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Speaker 1: only option. And we got an update. Guess what they

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Speaker 1: broke up? Opie dumped him?

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Speaker 3: Noise noise.

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Speaker 1: Well, here we go. Update. I dumped him and we'll

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Speaker 1: be trying to get the cat back, but not sure

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Speaker 1: how possible it may be. Thank you all for the

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Speaker 1: advice and that he's end the story. Yeah, I don't

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Speaker 1: think you're especially since you dumped him and I don't.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel bad being like I just don't think

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Speaker 3: you're gonna get like and being so nonchalant about it,

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Speaker 3: like that's devastating obviously, but I am worried about it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a really big uphill battle that I feel like,

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Speaker 1: especially since the cat's there. Get dumped him. Yeah, but

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Speaker 1: I mean take.

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Speaker 3: The time to heal and then, like we said, we

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Speaker 3: foster or look for another adoption.

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Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. We're going on

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Speaker 1: to the next one.

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Speaker 3: My boyfriend says cats are bio hazards after watching a short.

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Speaker 1: Video that's just extremely toxic.

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Speaker 3: My boyfriend apparently did some research aka five minutes on

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Speaker 3: Google and a couple TikTok videos and has now decided

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Speaker 3: that our cats are pretty much biohazards.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this.

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Speaker 3: Comes from happily Depresso And if you want us to

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Speaker 3: make your own stories, go to the r slash okay

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Speaker 3: storytime subreddit. I'm Carly, I'm Keon, and we're here to

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Speaker 3: give good advice goofully, but we don't have all the answers.

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Speaker 3: We only know what we would do, so let us

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Speaker 3: know what you would do in the comments. And Opie

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Speaker 3: says his biggest problem is that he claims the cats,

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Speaker 3: and only cats apparently carry incredibly toxic and dangerous bacteria

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Speaker 3: that will unlive us. He's convinced they're the nastiest animal ever,

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Speaker 3: even though I shared that dogs carry more bacteria, which

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Speaker 3: he said was a lie. He's always had an issue

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Speaker 3: with the litterbox smell, which I get because it's nasty,

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Speaker 3: but like I don't think anyone likes it. I don't either,

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Speaker 3: but at least I have been looking for solutions. I've

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Speaker 3: been on a quest to find the least offensive litter

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Speaker 3: option within our price range, and have found any anything

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Speaker 3: that satisfies him. I'm starting to think I never will,

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Speaker 3: but not because finding the litter itself is impossible, because

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Speaker 3: I feel like he'll find a reason to never be satisfied.

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Speaker 3: Plus he never lifts a finger to help find a solution.

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Speaker 3: Suddenly everything's an issue about the cats. How much the

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Speaker 3: food is eighty cents to a dollar per can, so

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Speaker 3: like one hundred and twenty dollars a month, How smelly

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Speaker 3: the litter box is, that they don't do anything to

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Speaker 3: earn their keep, how cat like they are? Just everything

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Speaker 3: out of the blue. He tells me he never wanted

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Speaker 3: the cats, and I forced him to keep and be

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Speaker 3: responsible for animals that he doesn't want. I did bring

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Speaker 3: our first cat astray home. She followed me there, but

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Speaker 3: I did not force her to stay or ask him

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Speaker 3: to keep her. He was the one that would insist

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Speaker 3: on closing the door so she wouldn't leave, and initiated

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Speaker 3: us investing in cat supplies. After a while of having her,

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Speaker 3: he suggested, based on a Jackson Galaxy video, that she

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Speaker 3: might be as a single cat. We saw a little

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Speaker 3: kitten that had her same colors and acquired about its adoption.

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Speaker 3: He was unavailable by then, and they suggested we look

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Speaker 3: into a pair of black kittens. I suggested we not

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Speaker 3: go through with it, or at least wait, and he

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Speaker 3: would go back and forth about it. Finally, as I

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Speaker 3: was canceling our appointment, he nudged us to do it,

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Speaker 3: only to tell me after we brought one kit home

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Speaker 3: that he didn't want to but I had done it anyway.

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Speaker 3: Present time, he says he wishes we had adopted both

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Speaker 3: kittens instead of just the one, and then back to

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Speaker 3: I never wanted to adopt it. Also, there's a stray

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Speaker 3: cat outside our apartments that's had a cool coat that

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Speaker 3: he's been pushing me to get it to trust me

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Speaker 3: so we can keep it.

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Speaker 1: What is going on here?

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Speaker 3: I don't want a third cat, And since he doesn't

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Speaker 3: want cats, I don't understand why bring it home?

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Speaker 1: Why is he so wishy washy on everything? There's something

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Speaker 1: more to be like? I like a cat. I don't

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Speaker 1: want a cat. I want a cat. I don't want cats.

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Speaker 1: I hate cats. What is going on?

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Speaker 3: He's weird? He can also be the complete opposite. He'll

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Speaker 3: go out of his way to buy expensive treats.

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Speaker 2: And toys for them.

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Speaker 3: He will have them lay close to us, even when

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Speaker 3: they don't want to, so he can spend time with them.

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Speaker 3: He'll go out of his way to safely offer outdoor

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Speaker 3: Enrichmond and worries about their safety and health, sometimes obsessively.

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Speaker 3: He's forced them to sleep cuddled up with him and

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Speaker 3: tells me how much he loves the cats and how

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Speaker 3: funny or cool they are. As of today, he has

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Speaker 3: decided that he wants the cats to stay in one

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Speaker 3: room and they're no longer allowed in the rest of

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Speaker 3: the apartment. He's now an authority on bacteria and cleanliness

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Speaker 3: and decided they're pretty much toxic biohazards that will get

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Speaker 3: you sick with life risky bacteria if you breathe the

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Speaker 3: same air. If I say anything he disagrees with, like

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Speaker 3: all animals are nasty, he says. I'm just trying to

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Speaker 3: fight with him and don't know what I'm talking about.

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Speaker 3: I understand some people just don't like cats, but he's

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Speaker 3: starting to be unreasonable in my opinion. He's been making

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Speaker 3: distasteful jokes about how the cats should find their own

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Speaker 3: food outside so we doesn't have to get their food.

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Speaker 3: How he hopes they get out and can't come back,

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Speaker 3: and he suggests getting rid of them, sometimes saying he'll

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Speaker 3: do it when I'm not home or sleeping.

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Speaker 1: If this is not funny, this guy's an idiot. By

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Speaker 1: the way, the cat's in run. Yeah, I'm sorry this

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Speaker 1: guy just what or whatever he's bringing to the table.

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Speaker 1: It's not worth it. This guy said, I won the

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Speaker 1: Internet for five minutes, and I believe everything I heard.

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Speaker 1: These cats we're gonna be unalived right now because we

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Speaker 1: breathe the same error as they do. Weird.

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Speaker 3: He did this once before, and I was left having

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Speaker 3: to make a decision between him and the cats. The

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Speaker 3: tension of whatever he had going on disappeared. I think

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Speaker 3: it was financial stress, and suddenly he loved the cats again.

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Speaker 3: After like a day or two of them being confined

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Speaker 3: to the room. I feel whiplash. I feel like I

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Speaker 3: can't plan or make any decisions. Concretely, I feel bad

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Speaker 3: for the cats because while the room is decently I'm

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Speaker 3: always making sure they're not lonely. Being locked away doesn't

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Speaker 3: feel like a good way to live. The jokes he

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Speaker 3: makes are not funny and cause me constant anxiety. At

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Speaker 3: the same time, I don't think I can make the

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Speaker 3: decision to give them away just like that to make

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Speaker 3: him feel better, especially because he's always hot and cold

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Speaker 3: about it. And I don't agree with adopting animals to

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Speaker 3: just get rid of them. I feel like even if

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Speaker 3: they were gone, he'd just finds something else to make

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Speaker 3: his problem. Frankly, I'm tired of his witching all the time.

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Speaker 1: At this point. For the safety of yourself and your

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Speaker 1: sanity and the sanity and safety of your cats, this

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Speaker 1: guy just seems unhinged.

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Speaker 3: It's two bad and fourth Like what the heck?

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Speaker 1: Like I get there's like a Lee way of like

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Speaker 1: we should like more cats, less cats, more cats, less cats.

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Speaker 1: But this guy's like I hate cats one day and

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Speaker 1: the next day he's like, I love cats. We should

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Speaker 1: get like five more. Is weird, very weird, and way

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Speaker 1: too much. This guy and a gain. He gets his

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Speaker 1: information from the internet, like like you trust everything on

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Speaker 1: the internet is a really big red.

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Speaker 3: Flag five minute TikTok probably about toxo pleusmosis.

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Speaker 1: This guy expert. This guy probably thinks.

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Speaker 3: Heat You went to school.

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Speaker 1: Now, Yeah, I was gonna say, he's like, I have

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Speaker 1: a PhD in cats because I watched a five minute

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Speaker 1: video on cats.

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Speaker 3: If I leave with the cats, I'd have to go

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Speaker 3: live with my parents and their two dogs in a

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Speaker 3: two bedroom apartment, and I feel like that's way worse

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Speaker 3: than keeping them in the room. I'm so frustrated and upset,

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Speaker 3: but I am willing to admit if I'm wrong. I

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Speaker 3: know all animals are nasty and carry bacteria, but are

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Speaker 3: cats just that much worse? Are they as harmful as

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Speaker 3: he says? And does he have a good reason to

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Speaker 3: be this way or ask that I get rid of them?

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Speaker 3: This back and forth thing and saying I'm the reason

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Speaker 3: he has burdens in his life are really wearing on me.

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Speaker 3: I really need advice from someone not in the situation.

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Speaker 3: That is the end of that story.

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Speaker 1: Hey, did you want to tell him like, hey, you

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Speaker 1: know what else is gross and like full of bacteria?

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Speaker 1: You humans? But also you Yeah, he's.

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Speaker 3: The grossest journeist of the humans.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I would say he needs to get

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Speaker 1: checked for something because he's very unginged.

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Speaker 3: I'm also wondering, like, does that stem from an anxiety issue?

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Speaker 3: If you're constantly back and forth on like the germs

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Speaker 3: of a cat?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you brought up the financial issue where he was

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Speaker 1: like one day he was like really stressed out about finances,

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Speaker 1: and the next day he was so good.

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Speaker 3: Like, I wonder if there's a deeper lying thing. Do

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Speaker 3: I think that that like gives him excuse? No, But

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Speaker 3: if he really needs to get over it.

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Speaker 1: I think you need to buy a solution. And I'm

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Speaker 1: telling you right now getting rid of.

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Speaker 3: Him, live with two dogs for a little bit.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's the end of this story. We're going

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Speaker 1: on to the next one. Our kid jumped on my

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Speaker 1: boyfriend's minifigures and now he is furious.

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Speaker 3: Oh no, are many figures they're broken?

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Speaker 1: Well, there his many figures. Actually, I female twenty six,

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Speaker 1: have been with my boyfriend, male twenty five for nearly

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Speaker 1: three years. I'm going to go ahead and clarify that

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Speaker 1: my boyfriend has autism, ADHD and anger issues. Not that

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Speaker 1: it excuses his actions, but just to let people know

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Speaker 1: what is going on. By the way, this comes from

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Speaker 1: user important Junkit eight three four and if you want

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Speaker 1: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

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Speaker 1: storytime subword it. I'm Keon, I'm.

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Speaker 3: Carly, and we're here to give good advice.

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Speaker 1: Go fully, we only know what we do. We don't

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Speaker 1: have all the answers, so please let us know what

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Speaker 1: you do in the comments. Please. Opie says, we have

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Speaker 1: a five month old kitten that we got last month.

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Speaker 1: He is sweet, cuddly, playful, and generally pretty well behaved.

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Speaker 1: He's also potty trained and everything. Dang, he came potty

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Speaker 1: trained just like that.

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Speaker 3: Sweet cats are pretty easy.

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Speaker 1: He is a joy to have, at least I think so. Yesterday,

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Speaker 1: like any cat, he decided he wanted to get into

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Speaker 1: some mischief and try jumping on the windowsill in our bedroom.

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Speaker 2: Mm hmm.

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Speaker 1: He accidentally dropped onto a set of shelves that contain

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Speaker 1: some anime figures my boyfriend likes to collect. M None

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Speaker 1: of them got broken or anything like that, and they

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Speaker 1: are pretty cheap, since we are talking the five to

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Speaker 1: fifteen dollar range. Of course, our kitten was rightfully scolded. However,

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Speaker 1: my boyfriend decided to shut our kitten in the bathroom

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Speaker 1: and then proceeded to literally tell our cat to stop

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Speaker 1: hissing at him.

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Speaker 3: Right, So, I do think there's also a thing that

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Speaker 3: cats can't learn, negative reinforcement. Like I think that's like

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Speaker 3: a study is that really, if I recall correctly, that

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Speaker 3: was a thing for a while, like they okay, Like

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Speaker 3: yelling at them doesn't really do much.

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Speaker 1: Gotcha, that makes okay? Gotcha. My boyfriend then slammed the

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Speaker 1: bathroom door shut and then slammed the bedroom door on

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Speaker 1: the way out. We don't slam doors. I want to

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Speaker 1: go check on our cat, and he was okay in everything.

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Speaker 1: But still our cat tends to be a lot more

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Speaker 1: calm around me, whereas with my boyfriend. He has hit

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Speaker 1: at him and caught at him a couple of times.

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Speaker 1: I wonder why he's only like this with my boyfriend

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Speaker 1: and not with me. My boyfriend, while I love him

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Speaker 1: to pieces, has a tendency to lose his temper really easily,

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Speaker 1: even if it is over small things or any inconvenience.

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Speaker 1: He will never say it out loud, but I know

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Speaker 1: he hates when something does not go his way or

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Speaker 1: when someone does not do what he wants. We had

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Speaker 1: a couple of really big fights last year where my

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Speaker 1: parents had to get involved because I was desperately seeking

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Speaker 1: some outside advice on what to do. The first time

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Speaker 1: was in August and he flipped out over an important

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Speaker 1: phone call being hung up on accident. He also screamed,

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Speaker 1: but later apologized, and it seemed that he felt genuine

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Speaker 1: remorse for the things he said. I admit I screamed

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Speaker 1: back at him, but it was because he was getting

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Speaker 1: really angry at me for something that was not my fault,

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Speaker 1: and I thought he was going to do something to me.

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Speaker 4: Ah.

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Speaker 1: We had another fight later that year that seriously escalated

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Speaker 1: to us nearly breaking up. He said some hurtful things,

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Speaker 1: and I said some hurtful things back that I should

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Speaker 1: have not said, and it became a huge back and

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Speaker 1: forth for about a week before we finally reconciled. Things

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00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:11,159
Speaker 1: have improved, I think since then, but every now and

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Speaker 1: then there will be moments like what happened yesterday that

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Speaker 1: have me concerned. My cats mean a lot to me,

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Speaker 1: and they are a packaged deal. I'm afraid my boyfriend

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Speaker 1: is going to pull the it is me or the

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Speaker 1: gatto or in English, the cat, or do something else

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Speaker 1: like hurt him or try to give him away. I

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Speaker 1: do not just have our kitten either. I also have

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Speaker 1: another cat that I had before my boyfriend, that is

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Speaker 1: about two years old and that I have raised since

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Speaker 1: he was born. I love my cats, how much. Do

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Speaker 1: you love your cats? Do you love your cats more

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Speaker 1: than you love your boyfriend?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? I was gonna say it sounds like you already

403
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Speaker 3: know that. If it came down to him asking me

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Speaker 3: or the cats, you know that it's the cats already.

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Speaker 1: The cats don't yell back at you, the cats don't

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Speaker 1: slam door.

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Speaker 3: It just becomes getting out before he tries to get

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Speaker 3: rid of them, or like risking him, just giving the

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Speaker 3: cats away kind of thing, because you know your answer

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Speaker 3: is gonna be the cats.

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Speaker 1: Yes, they are like family. And I am nervous how

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Speaker 1: he's going to be with kids because of his temper. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: this is how he acts around kittens. I don't want

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Speaker 1: any kids near this man.

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Speaker 3: Very telling how people interact with animals.

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Speaker 1: Because kids they see anime figures or figures or anything playful,

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Speaker 1: they're gonna touch them. As far as other things go

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Speaker 1: on top of that, my boyfriend does not have a job,

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Speaker 1: but he gets SSI because of his autism and other things.

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Speaker 1: I am the only one who has a full time

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Speaker 1: job and pays for everything else besides rent and have

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00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:38,840
Speaker 1: free utilities and groceries with the money he receives each month,

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Speaker 1: which is fine and I understand his situation completely, but

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Speaker 1: I admit it has put a bit of a strain

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Speaker 1: on our relationship. Financially, he asks for more money for

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Speaker 1: me than usual because he missed an electric bill and

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00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:53,720
Speaker 1: then missed a payment for something Google related. At this point,

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Speaker 1: I am just ranting because I feel unsure of our future.

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Speaker 1: I want to get married someday and have kids, and

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Speaker 1: at this rate it feels like it is never going

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Speaker 1: to happen. I do not expect anything to happen right now,

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Speaker 1: but I would at least like to have some security

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Speaker 1: in knowing what goals we have. We have talked about

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Speaker 1: some stuff, but they never feel completely aligned. For example,

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Speaker 1: he wants to move to a different country someday. I

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Speaker 1: really do not want to. I would be happy visiting,

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Speaker 1: but I do not want to live there. I am

438
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:23,760
Speaker 1: content staying near family in the same state or a

439
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:27,200
Speaker 1: neighboring state. I do not expect a big, fancy house either,

440
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:29,720
Speaker 1: just something a little bigger than a one bedroom apartment.

441
00:20:30,119 --> 00:20:31,879
Speaker 1: He has talked about wanting to live in an RV,

442
00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:35,600
Speaker 1: but I do not want to live like that. I

443
00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:38,600
Speaker 1: love traveling, but not that much. It is odd because

444
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:40,840
Speaker 1: he really can't be quite sweet and caring, but on

445
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:43,320
Speaker 1: the flip side, he can also be temperamental and get

446
00:20:43,359 --> 00:20:47,080
Speaker 1: impatient with me. Anyway, I've gone on for way too long,

447
00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:49,040
Speaker 1: and I do not know if anyone is going to

448
00:20:49,119 --> 00:20:52,160
Speaker 1: read my post. We read it, but I could really

449
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:55,520
Speaker 1: use some advice pretty please, and thank you. I really

450
00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:57,119
Speaker 1: love him and want to give him the benefit of

451
00:20:57,119 --> 00:20:59,520
Speaker 1: the doubt, but I am at my wits end. I

452
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:00,880
Speaker 1: can give more infoip needed.

453
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,880
Speaker 3: Carly sounds like you know you don't want to date

454
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:04,720
Speaker 3: this dude anymore.

455
00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:10,400
Speaker 1: I feel like you guys are just incompatible. I mean,

456
00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:13,560
Speaker 1: you've already had two major fights at the very core of.

457
00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:16,480
Speaker 3: It too, Like if he can't understand that the cat

458
00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:21,119
Speaker 3: just accidentally knocked over cheap minifigures and it was obviously

459
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:25,479
Speaker 3: an accident, and like, yes, you can get upset about it,

460
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:29,639
Speaker 3: but literally nothing was broken. Yeah, and you had like

461
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:32,399
Speaker 3: a massive freak out about it and started screaming at

462
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:33,240
Speaker 3: the cats.

463
00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:34,719
Speaker 1: Like and I get it.

464
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:37,240
Speaker 3: He has he's got to understand that the cats are

465
00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:37,960
Speaker 3: gonna cat.

466
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:40,160
Speaker 1: And I get it. He has autism, he's HD, has

467
00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:43,000
Speaker 1: a lot of he has temperament issues, but those aren't

468
00:21:43,119 --> 00:21:47,080
Speaker 1: excuses to especially since nothing was broken. If there was

469
00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:49,840
Speaker 1: something that did break, I don't want to imagine what

470
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:52,560
Speaker 1: if this is his aggression or his level of aggression

471
00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:56,040
Speaker 1: to this something minimal like this, I don't even want

472
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:58,679
Speaker 1: to know what can get out of hand. I don't know.

473
00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:02,879
Speaker 1: He just doesn't sound safe in general. I mean, I

474
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:05,400
Speaker 1: will talk to him about his you know, his temperament,

475
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:07,919
Speaker 1: and see if that can get worked on. But at

476
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:10,160
Speaker 1: the end of the day, what's best for your sanity,

477
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:14,760
Speaker 1: your health, the safety, your safety, the safety of your cats.

478
00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:17,200
Speaker 1: I don't know. It just doesn't seem like it's gonna

479
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:19,320
Speaker 1: be with this guy, especially since you guys are on

480
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:22,520
Speaker 1: way different wavelengths of what you want to do in

481
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:26,640
Speaker 1: the future. So agreed, we have an edit.

482
00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:27,560
Speaker 2: Edit.

483
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:29,760
Speaker 1: I forgot to put in some stuff regarding our kitten.

484
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:32,280
Speaker 1: It is not the first time he has gotten patient

485
00:22:32,359 --> 00:22:35,040
Speaker 1: with him. He has a bad habit of being a

486
00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:37,840
Speaker 1: little forceful with him. He constantly tries to get our

487
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:40,240
Speaker 1: kitten to do what he wants, and as a cat owner,

488
00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:43,160
Speaker 1: we all know how well that goes. I've had cats

489
00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:45,720
Speaker 1: my whole life. I know how it is. I am

490
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:48,200
Speaker 1: also aware that I will probably get some negative comments,

491
00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:50,720
Speaker 1: which I am prepared for. But please be honest with me.

492
00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:51,320
Speaker 1: Thank you.

493
00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:52,159
Speaker 4: I'm gonna be.

494
00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:55,840
Speaker 1: Honest with Youpi. There are plenty of fish out in

495
00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:58,720
Speaker 1: the sea, and this one does not look like a

496
00:22:58,760 --> 00:22:59,480
Speaker 1: good fish.

497
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:02,000
Speaker 3: Especially saying you want kids and stuff. If he's forceful

498
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:05,320
Speaker 3: with a kit in not behaving, I would be worried

499
00:23:05,359 --> 00:23:08,840
Speaker 3: for force on a toddler. Yeah, an infant that's not behaving.

500
00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:12,520
Speaker 1: Because usually pets are like the practice or the pre

501
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:14,800
Speaker 1: practice before having a kid. And if this is how

502
00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:17,400
Speaker 1: he's acting with pets.

503
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:17,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know.

504
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:20,840
Speaker 3: I need anger issue, hope. Yeah, And if he's willing

505
00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:21,920
Speaker 3: to get that, then maybe.

506
00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:25,120
Speaker 1: But also you're kind of taking care of him. You're

507
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:28,080
Speaker 1: financially supporting him, and he's not looking for a job.

508
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:32,520
Speaker 1: He's not trying to do that. You deserve better, Opie,

509
00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:35,679
Speaker 1: than trying to take care of two cats and a

510
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:39,199
Speaker 1: full fledged human right now. So and that's the end

511
00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:41,359
Speaker 1: of this story. We're going on to the next one.

512
00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:44,879
Speaker 3: My partner has been ignoring my cat, but now thinks

513
00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:46,120
Speaker 3: he gets final say.

514
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:48,120
Speaker 1: I'll get the final say.

515
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:51,919
Speaker 3: Since late December, my cat has been seriously ill with

516
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:55,960
Speaker 3: a nasty kidney infection. No for context on the dynamic here.

517
00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:58,960
Speaker 3: I am in a polyamorous relationship with my partner's Matt

518
00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:02,320
Speaker 3: twenty six mail and B thirty one non binary and

519
00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:04,880
Speaker 3: we all live together. By the way, this comes from

520
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:09,600
Speaker 3: backstroker JC and if you want to submit your own stories,

521
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:11,560
Speaker 3: going to be our slash Okay storytimes subreddit.

522
00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:13,960
Speaker 1: I'm Carly, I'm Keon, and we're here.

523
00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:16,080
Speaker 3: To give good advice goofully, But we don't have all

524
00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:18,040
Speaker 3: the answers. We only know what we would do. Let

525
00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:19,520
Speaker 3: us know what you would do in the comments, and

526
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:22,760
Speaker 3: nop says. Since my cat got sick, B has gone

527
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:24,920
Speaker 3: above and beyond and helping me care for my cat,

528
00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:27,560
Speaker 3: bringing in friends to help take care of her while

529
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:30,679
Speaker 3: we were away for the holidays, etc. B is also

530
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:33,520
Speaker 3: a critical care nurse and their insight into caring for

531
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:36,679
Speaker 3: critically ill people has been so helpful in caring for

532
00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:40,480
Speaker 3: my cat. She genuinely would not be alive without their expertise.

533
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:43,479
Speaker 3: For context, I'm a medical student, and while I have

534
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:46,360
Speaker 3: much less bedside experience than B, I have also been

535
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:49,000
Speaker 3: able to be much more hands on in my cat's

536
00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:52,280
Speaker 3: care than the average pet owner. Because of this, all

537
00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:55,560
Speaker 3: this to say, my cat is in really good hands. Matt,

538
00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:57,760
Speaker 3: on the other hand, has not been involved in my

539
00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:00,960
Speaker 3: cat's care and has shown no interest in getting more involved.

540
00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:03,639
Speaker 3: This is fine and expected. He didn't take care of

541
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:06,800
Speaker 3: her litterbox, food, other normal cat things when she was healthy.

542
00:25:07,359 --> 00:25:10,000
Speaker 3: I got this cat before moving in with either Matt

543
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:12,159
Speaker 3: or Bee, and don't expect Matt to take care of

544
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:14,400
Speaker 3: a cat he had no say in adopting. He will

545
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:16,920
Speaker 3: often ask me questions about my cat's care that show

546
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:18,960
Speaker 3: that he doesn't really have a grasp of what is

547
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:22,679
Speaker 3: going on with her medically or with her plan of care. Again,

548
00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:25,400
Speaker 3: this is fine. He's not in medicine, and I don't

549
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:27,800
Speaker 3: expect him to know some of this stuff. It's a

550
00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:32,240
Speaker 3: lot to keep track of and her situation changes almost daily. However,

551
00:25:32,359 --> 00:25:34,719
Speaker 3: that brings me to what Matt said to me this

552
00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:38,720
Speaker 3: morning that made me feel really upset and condescended to.

553
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:41,159
Speaker 3: As part of her care, my cat has been on

554
00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:44,280
Speaker 3: antibiotics for the past week. Matt did know about this,

555
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:46,520
Speaker 3: so he asked this morning when her last day of

556
00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:50,199
Speaker 3: antibiotics was. I said that it was technically yesterday, but

557
00:25:50,359 --> 00:25:53,040
Speaker 3: Bee had brought up the possibility of continuing them for

558
00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:56,119
Speaker 3: another couple of days. Since this infection has been so

559
00:25:56,359 --> 00:26:00,680
Speaker 3: hard to treat, Matt said, in a very authoritative, ensuiturious tone,

560
00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:04,280
Speaker 3: we shouldn't give her any more antibiotics. This threw me

561
00:26:04,359 --> 00:26:06,840
Speaker 3: for a complete loop, and I immediately responded, with all

562
00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:09,600
Speaker 3: due respect, you are neither a medical professional nor have

563
00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:12,080
Speaker 3: you been involved in my cat's care, so that's not

564
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:15,080
Speaker 3: your decision to make. Things got very quiet and tense,

565
00:26:15,119 --> 00:26:17,760
Speaker 3: and after a few minutes, Matt replied that while he's

566
00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:20,760
Speaker 3: not a medical professional and hasn't been involved in her care,

567
00:26:21,160 --> 00:26:23,920
Speaker 3: animal welfare is really important to him and he doesn't

568
00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:26,960
Speaker 3: think we should be putting an animal through unnecessary suffering.

569
00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:30,040
Speaker 3: He also said that he's been holding his tongue about

570
00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:33,040
Speaker 3: her treatment until now, but that from now on he

571
00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:36,040
Speaker 3: will be voicing his opinions what she said he's entitled to.

572
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:40,280
Speaker 3: I went quiet and didn't respond, both because of shock

573
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:42,560
Speaker 3: and because our friend, one of the friends that has

574
00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:45,160
Speaker 3: been helping care for the cat, was over and had

575
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:48,160
Speaker 3: just come in the room. I took the convenient excuse

576
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:50,919
Speaker 3: of needing to drive her home to end the conversation

577
00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:54,159
Speaker 3: and haven't said anything more to him about it. The

578
00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 3: thing is, I think him suddenly acting all authoritative on

579
00:26:57,359 --> 00:27:00,480
Speaker 3: my cat's care is really condescending and disrespect to the

580
00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:03,479
Speaker 3: tremendous amount of work and anxiety that BE and I

581
00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:06,560
Speaker 3: have been through to treat my cat. I mean, does

582
00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:09,480
Speaker 3: he think we haven't agonized over whether the steps we've

583
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:12,560
Speaker 3: taken to treat her are appropriate? Does he think that

584
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:16,080
Speaker 3: his concern for animal welfare means he gets to speak

585
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:20,320
Speaker 3: over our knowledge and experience, both in medicine generally and

586
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:24,000
Speaker 3: with my cat specifically. Because it's relevant to note, my

587
00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:26,560
Speaker 3: cat is not in pain, to the best that BE

588
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:29,480
Speaker 3: or I or the vets can tell. She spends most

589
00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:32,880
Speaker 3: days resting comfortably, like one would expect an animal recovering

590
00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:35,960
Speaker 3: from a serious infection would. BE and I are also

591
00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 3: very open to advice on her care from people who

592
00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:41,840
Speaker 3: have been involved or who have relevant knowledge. All of

593
00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:44,400
Speaker 3: our friends who helped care for her were over last night,

594
00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:46,800
Speaker 3: and BE and I spoke to each of them about

595
00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:50,720
Speaker 3: whether they thought her care was appropriate. We also asked

596
00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:53,200
Speaker 3: our friend, a physician who works in the NICU, about

597
00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:57,840
Speaker 3: the antibiotics issued specifically, and she advised caution in extending

598
00:27:57,840 --> 00:28:01,239
Speaker 3: my cat's course of treatment. In opinion, I value very

599
00:28:01,359 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 3: highly and I'm taking very seriously while deciding what to do.

600
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:07,760
Speaker 3: My only judgment so far is why are none of

601
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:09,520
Speaker 3: these people vets that we're talking.

602
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:13,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was gonna say if their professional you know,

603
00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:14,520
Speaker 1: this is their medical.

604
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:16,960
Speaker 3: Field, right, it's the general medical field. It's the nick

605
00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:18,960
Speaker 3: you so babies and stuff. I get that, And I

606
00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:20,520
Speaker 3: know you said there was a team of vets, but

607
00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:23,200
Speaker 3: it's just really funny to me that I'm sure there's

608
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:25,679
Speaker 3: so much overlap. I totally believe you, and I totally

609
00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:28,199
Speaker 3: am sure that you guys are doing great. That's just

610
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:32,240
Speaker 3: been funny to me. Yeah, advice thoughts.

611
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,800
Speaker 1: I don't know it. I like how he's like, now

612
00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:36,960
Speaker 1: I'm gonna put my place in my opinion and I'm

613
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:38,960
Speaker 1: going to say what I want to say. Yeah, where

614
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:42,040
Speaker 1: was this in the beginning? First second? Not your cat?

615
00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:45,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like I will say my initial reaction to what

616
00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:48,760
Speaker 3: he said first was not that it was coming from

617
00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:51,200
Speaker 3: a place of malice or like ill intent. But then

618
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:53,800
Speaker 3: when he like doubled down that he got to say

619
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:55,880
Speaker 3: and everything is when I was like, oh no, that's

620
00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:58,320
Speaker 3: like very weirdly authoritative and like rude.

621
00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:00,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, who if you did? I get I get it.

622
00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:01,560
Speaker 1: You're you're part of this.

623
00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:04,560
Speaker 3: But right, like I could understand the first thing of like,

624
00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:07,240
Speaker 3: well you should not give more antibiotics is a very

625
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:08,800
Speaker 3: common thing for a lot of people to be like,

626
00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:11,080
Speaker 3: well you don't do more antibiotics than you need kind

627
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:13,680
Speaker 3: of thing. So like that could have just been something

628
00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:16,560
Speaker 3: kind of innocent, like I took it to potentially again

629
00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:19,800
Speaker 3: didn't have the like tone obviously, But then when he

630
00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:22,080
Speaker 3: doubled down, I was like, nah, dude, what are we doing?

631
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:25,040
Speaker 1: And the fact he's like I worry about animals and

632
00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:27,400
Speaker 1: the welfare of animals, I'm like, okay, cool, literally ar,

633
00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:31,280
Speaker 1: but are you like legitimately a VET if you're the

634
00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:33,200
Speaker 1: vets have told me what they have told me, they're

635
00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:36,720
Speaker 1: the professionals. You're not a professional. Yes, you can worry

636
00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:39,560
Speaker 1: about the cat. You don't think I'm worried about my

637
00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:40,960
Speaker 1: cat right now?

638
00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:42,280
Speaker 4: Yeah?

639
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:45,080
Speaker 1: I I yeah, I don't know. It just came. It

640
00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:48,040
Speaker 1: seems like he maybe everyone's giving a lot of detention.

641
00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:50,400
Speaker 1: It's making you sad, and everyone's sad about your cat,

642
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:52,360
Speaker 1: and he just, like what I can tell, he's like

643
00:29:52,360 --> 00:29:54,800
Speaker 1: he's just upset about you, Like, oh.

644
00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 3: He's upset for the cat. I don't think that he's

645
00:29:58,160 --> 00:30:00,320
Speaker 3: I think that he's coming in way too strong, way

646
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:03,360
Speaker 3: too late. He should have been there and actually helping

647
00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:06,360
Speaker 3: if he wants like such a big sudden say in things.

648
00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:08,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, the best way you can do is support your

649
00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:10,680
Speaker 1: partner and try and support the animals, I would hope,

650
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:13,240
Speaker 1: but like telling them is like this is my opinion

651
00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:15,360
Speaker 1: and you should take my opinion over your opinion kind

652
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:15,600
Speaker 1: of thing.

653
00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:17,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, out of line.

654
00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:17,960
Speaker 1: Not yet.

655
00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:20,400
Speaker 3: I'm looking for advice and how to approach Matt and

656
00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:23,240
Speaker 3: kindly but firmly tell him that the way he approached

657
00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:27,160
Speaker 3: this issue was disrespectful, condescending and hurtful, And how to

658
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:30,000
Speaker 3: convey to him that while his support is appreciated and

659
00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:33,080
Speaker 3: he has been emotionally supportive, it's not his place to

660
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:36,240
Speaker 3: comment on her medical care. I shut down and haven't

661
00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:39,400
Speaker 3: yet spoken to him about how inappropriate and hurtful his

662
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:42,720
Speaker 3: comments were. How should I handle this? No, I am

663
00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:45,120
Speaker 3: not looking for advice on my cat's health. And we

664
00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:45,920
Speaker 3: have some comments.

665
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:48,200
Speaker 1: I think exactly what you just said, and you tell

666
00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:51,280
Speaker 1: him straight up like hey, that was rude and inconsiderate

667
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:53,959
Speaker 1: and yeah, and you can also probably bring up like hey,

668
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:56,880
Speaker 1: what's going on because like that came out of Noah's

669
00:30:57,160 --> 00:30:57,600
Speaker 1: that deep.

670
00:30:57,680 --> 00:31:00,480
Speaker 3: I'm gonna be so real. I think the first comment

671
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:03,880
Speaker 3: was potentially taken out of context and maybe a little pushy,

672
00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:08,400
Speaker 3: but then like it was the like talk back that

673
00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:11,240
Speaker 3: then got like a comment back from Matt that I.

674
00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:14,200
Speaker 1: Was like, whoa, he probably is also stressed out too,

675
00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:18,320
Speaker 1: and really really stress that you're stressed. Yeah, which makes sense,

676
00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:21,120
Speaker 1: but I think the way to go about that situation

677
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:24,160
Speaker 1: for him especially not the right way.

678
00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:28,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm leaning slightly towards everyone's overreacting a little bit here.

679
00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:32,200
Speaker 1: I think I think some people suck more. I mean,

680
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:34,760
Speaker 1: if someone tried to tell me how to take care

681
00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:38,040
Speaker 1: of my pet, yes, opinions matter, but.

682
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:40,440
Speaker 3: But if you were talking about extending me on antibotics

683
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:42,520
Speaker 3: and I came up and said, I've actually heard it's

684
00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:46,239
Speaker 3: really not a good idea to extend antibiotics and pets.

685
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:47,920
Speaker 1: And yeah, and I'd be like, well, but this is

686
00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:49,000
Speaker 1: what the vet said, and I'd.

687
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:50,400
Speaker 3: Be like, oh, didn't know that kind of thing. So

688
00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:53,560
Speaker 3: I'm saying his initial concern for the pet of like

689
00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:57,520
Speaker 3: hearing antibiotics shouldn't be extended, is like a valid thing

690
00:31:57,560 --> 00:32:01,320
Speaker 3: to bring up. I just think I don't think snapped back.

691
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:04,479
Speaker 1: After I was gonna say the tone, the tone, how like?

692
00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:07,120
Speaker 3: I just wonder if defensiveness led to that tone.

693
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:09,440
Speaker 1: I think so too. That's why that's why I'm.

694
00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:11,040
Speaker 3: On the Like everyone could be kind of in the

695
00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:13,080
Speaker 3: wrong here, but Matt sucks the most.

696
00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:15,240
Speaker 1: Like, Yo, Matt, chill, Yeah, I'd.

697
00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:16,960
Speaker 3: Be like Matt, homie, you're not a vet. I'm not

698
00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:18,000
Speaker 3: a vet either, though.

699
00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:21,040
Speaker 1: Talking to vets the most.

700
00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:23,200
Speaker 3: The thing is the VET didn't say to extend that

701
00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:28,560
Speaker 3: medication m uh b through their medical training that's also

702
00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:34,120
Speaker 3: non veterinary training, suggested that they would bring home additional antibotics.

703
00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:35,200
Speaker 2: From their work for the cat.

704
00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:37,600
Speaker 3: Yeah. Like, that's where I'm like, I don't think that

705
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:41,080
Speaker 3: Matt was potentially out of line in expressing concern, right.

706
00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:45,680
Speaker 1: I feel like, at the end of the days, whatever

707
00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:48,760
Speaker 1: the professionals say, we're not vets, we're not vets. If

708
00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:50,760
Speaker 1: a VET told me to do something, do what the

709
00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:51,360
Speaker 1: vet says.

710
00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:55,800
Speaker 3: Comments Comment one. You may not like it, but Matt

711
00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:59,040
Speaker 3: has a good point. Sometimes you need unsolicited and critical

712
00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:01,520
Speaker 3: advice to see that maybe your efforts are not making

713
00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:04,680
Speaker 3: the situation better. Comment too, I don't know, it seems

714
00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:07,440
Speaker 3: to me, you're overreacting. Of course he could have voiced

715
00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:10,200
Speaker 3: his thoughts better, but you were rude. First. I wonder

716
00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:12,720
Speaker 3: if Matt has posted a Reddit question asking how he

717
00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:14,959
Speaker 3: could approach you about the way you spoke to him.

718
00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:15,560
Speaker 2: Lol.

719
00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:18,840
Speaker 3: Ope, he replies, how was I rude? First comment or

720
00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:21,880
Speaker 3: two replied he said we shouldn't give her more antibiotics.

721
00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:25,040
Speaker 3: There's nothing rude in that sentence. Then you responded by

722
00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:27,600
Speaker 3: informing him of his ignorance and telling him it's not

723
00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:30,760
Speaker 3: his decision to make. His comment wasn't rude, but your

724
00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:32,960
Speaker 3: reaction to it was, which is what I.

725
00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:33,800
Speaker 1: Was saying, gotcha.

726
00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:40,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, commentors, I think was way more in agreement

727
00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:41,320
Speaker 3: with like where my head was up.

728
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:44,440
Speaker 1: No, that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, overall that, I think,

729
00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:48,320
Speaker 1: like you said, everybody, everybody's high stressed right now because

730
00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:49,800
Speaker 1: of the cat, and that makes a lot of.

731
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:52,400
Speaker 3: Sense, makes sense, and is especially why I could see

732
00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:55,720
Speaker 3: that if Matt comes with this advice seemingly out of nowhere,

733
00:33:55,760 --> 00:33:58,320
Speaker 3: after like you are so upset that he really hasn't

734
00:33:58,360 --> 00:34:01,880
Speaker 3: had much opinion, like care in the matter, that you

735
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:04,840
Speaker 3: can take that to be just like well, like, don't

736
00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:08,120
Speaker 3: like bash my knowledge on this subject and you can

737
00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:10,200
Speaker 3: come back a little harsh, which then leads him to

738
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:14,440
Speaker 3: come back harsher still and like way too like in

739
00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:18,680
Speaker 3: your face kind of thing, right, but like him very

740
00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:23,239
Speaker 3: solidly stating something isn't necessarily the worst thing. And that's

741
00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:24,759
Speaker 3: the end of this story. We're gonna go to the

742
00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:29,080
Speaker 3: next one. Hey, it's Angie, your favorite fashion host. Here.

743
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:31,359
Speaker 3: We're going to get back to the stories. But here's

744
00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:33,319
Speaker 3: three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

745
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:38,600
Speaker 2: Our family vacation is being ruined because of our daughter's schedule.

746
00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:41,080
Speaker 4: WHOA, maybe she's just a busy person.

747
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:43,840
Speaker 2: My husband and I have been planning a trip to

748
00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:47,120
Speaker 2: Mexico for two years now. We had everything booked in

749
00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:49,600
Speaker 2: twenty twenty four about our twenty year old daughter, Kayla,

750
00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:52,399
Speaker 2: wound up having senior exams that week, so we had

751
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:55,839
Speaker 2: to cancel and try to reschedule. Our reschedule credit only

752
00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:58,680
Speaker 2: lasts until June of twenty twenty six. By the way,

753
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:01,160
Speaker 2: this comes from Emergency CA app three eight five five

754
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:02,600
Speaker 2: And if you want to smit your own stories, go

755
00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:05,520
Speaker 2: to the r slash Okay storytime, separate it. I'm Sophia,

756
00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:08,280
Speaker 2: I'm Dakota, and we're here to give good advice, goofully,

757
00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:10,360
Speaker 2: but we don't have all the answers. We only know

758
00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:12,279
Speaker 2: what we'd do, So let us know what you would

759
00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:15,759
Speaker 2: do in the comments and op sets. Every time we

760
00:35:15,840 --> 00:35:18,960
Speaker 2: float dates, three of our four kids, all adults, tell

761
00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:21,879
Speaker 2: us that whatever dates we book, they will work with.

762
00:35:22,239 --> 00:35:26,319
Speaker 2: It is always Kayla that has conflicts school, sports, work.

763
00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:29,080
Speaker 2: There's always something. I finally put my foot down and

764
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:31,960
Speaker 2: scheduled for end of May, literally one week before our

765
00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:35,440
Speaker 2: voucher expires. I looked at her school schedule online and

766
00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:38,680
Speaker 2: classes end a week before. I texted all the kids

767
00:35:38,719 --> 00:35:41,360
Speaker 2: and told them they're all good and going to request

768
00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:45,479
Speaker 2: time off. Except Kayla. She said that even those school ends,

769
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:48,959
Speaker 2: her league sports do not end until June. She also

770
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:51,600
Speaker 2: said she's jumping right into summer work and already committed

771
00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:54,239
Speaker 2: to starting that work. Her father and I told her

772
00:35:54,280 --> 00:35:56,319
Speaker 2: we understand, we're sorry that she had to miss it,

773
00:35:56,480 --> 00:35:58,680
Speaker 2: and maybe we'll figure something else out with her just

774
00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:02,640
Speaker 2: when she graduates and her schedule becomes less chaotic. Apparently,

775
00:36:02,719 --> 00:36:05,440
Speaker 2: she was not expecting this response and is upset that

776
00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:07,239
Speaker 2: we are still planning on going without her.

777
00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:11,240
Speaker 4: All right, girly pop, you can't have it both ways, reallykay,

778
00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:11,719
Speaker 4: that's it.

779
00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:15,719
Speaker 2: I'm sorry. They tried many times to reschedule and you

780
00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:18,560
Speaker 2: can't do it and their voucher expires. She said that

781
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:22,000
Speaker 2: we cannot have a family vacation without the whole family.

782
00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:24,640
Speaker 2: But my other kids are rightfully angry with her for

783
00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:27,600
Speaker 2: trying to prevent them from going on vacation just because

784
00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:29,440
Speaker 2: she does not want to make the time for it.

785
00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:31,880
Speaker 2: She would not lose her summer job by starting a

786
00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:35,319
Speaker 2: week later. She comes and goes during breaks. It is

787
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:37,520
Speaker 2: a family owned store, so the owner just throws her

788
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:40,319
Speaker 2: on the schedule when she says she's available. If we

789
00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:43,040
Speaker 2: do not go, we lose around two thousand dollars that

790
00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:46,719
Speaker 2: we prepaid for our original vacation, and our other kids

791
00:36:46,719 --> 00:36:50,640
Speaker 2: will be pissed. So the thing here that we got

792
00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:54,719
Speaker 2: is either you lose two thousand dollars and your two

793
00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:57,919
Speaker 2: other kids will be mad, or one child will be mad,

794
00:36:58,440 --> 00:37:00,719
Speaker 2: and that's it. If we do you go, then I'm

795
00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:03,200
Speaker 2: gonna feel guilty and like a crap parent for not

796
00:37:03,239 --> 00:37:05,720
Speaker 2: having all my kids there. I feel like I'm gonna

797
00:37:05,719 --> 00:37:08,400
Speaker 2: lose lose situation. My husband says I need to let

798
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:10,960
Speaker 2: it go. Parents go on trips all the time without

799
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:13,600
Speaker 2: their kids once they're adults. But it is the fact

800
00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:16,000
Speaker 2: that three out of four will be there that bothers me.

801
00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:20,920
Speaker 2: Am I the ale for still planning the vacation without Kayla. No, no,

802
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:22,399
Speaker 2: you're not, And there are comments, But what.

803
00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:24,799
Speaker 4: Do you think, Oh, you're not. No, she's just being

804
00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:25,360
Speaker 4: a brat.

805
00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:28,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sorry she can't go. It sucks you try

806
00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:31,239
Speaker 2: to schedule her in. She didn't want to. You know,

807
00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:35,080
Speaker 2: either she can't or she didn't want to schedule around it.

808
00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:36,040
Speaker 2: So that's it.

809
00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:36,880
Speaker 4: Yeah.

810
00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:40,480
Speaker 2: Comment one. Getting adult children lined up for vacation can

811
00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:44,200
Speaker 2: be like herding cats. You have given Kayla multiple dates

812
00:37:44,239 --> 00:37:47,600
Speaker 2: and she has shot every option down. Bottom line is

813
00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:49,480
Speaker 2: you'll lose your deposit if you do not go at

814
00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:52,000
Speaker 2: some point, and you have left it until the last

815
00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:55,240
Speaker 2: possible moment. At this point, it is a her problem,

816
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:58,600
Speaker 2: not a U problem. If she wants to overcommit, then

817
00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:01,360
Speaker 2: she asks to accept that she's going to miss out. Sometimes,

818
00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:03,600
Speaker 2: I hope the rest of you have a terrific time

819
00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:06,399
Speaker 2: in Mexico. Maybe she'll make time for the next one.

820
00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:09,479
Speaker 2: Comment two says when she years afterwards that it turned

821
00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:11,239
Speaker 2: out to be a good trip, she may be more

822
00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:14,520
Speaker 2: open to making time for family gatherings. Maybe she really

823
00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:17,000
Speaker 2: does not want to go for some reason and that's

824
00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:20,279
Speaker 2: why she keeps throwing up objections. You have done as

825
00:38:20,360 --> 00:38:23,920
Speaker 2: much as you can to accommodate her, and she's not cooperative.

826
00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:26,680
Speaker 2: As you said, her siblings are getting resentful that she's

827
00:38:26,719 --> 00:38:29,720
Speaker 2: blocking their vacations as well. You made a good offer

828
00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:32,280
Speaker 2: to do something with just her when she can find

829
00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:35,279
Speaker 2: or make some time. Since the trip is not until

830
00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:38,040
Speaker 2: next spring, maybe she will change your mind and decide

831
00:38:38,080 --> 00:38:41,640
Speaker 2: to join. You leave that option open either way. You

832
00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:43,840
Speaker 2: have done what you can, go as planned and have

833
00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:46,759
Speaker 2: a great time, and there isn't at it. What are

834
00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:47,440
Speaker 2: your thoughts?

835
00:38:48,040 --> 00:38:51,080
Speaker 4: I mean, it's just like a classic case of like

836
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:54,279
Speaker 4: one person being like, well, no, I'm the I'm the

837
00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:58,239
Speaker 4: one who's important and if I'm not there, why would

838
00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:00,759
Speaker 4: you guys even want to do anything? Yeah at all?

839
00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:03,080
Speaker 2: Ever, you guys don't even exist outside of me.

840
00:39:03,239 --> 00:39:06,040
Speaker 4: This is just a good opportunity for Kayla to learn

841
00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:09,240
Speaker 4: the lesson that, like, yeah, the world doesn't only revolve

842
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:11,919
Speaker 4: around you.

843
00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:11,000
Speaker 3: You know.

844
00:39:11,520 --> 00:39:13,640
Speaker 2: Thank you for all the kind words and the swift

845
00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:15,279
Speaker 2: pun to the butt to remind me that I also

846
00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:17,560
Speaker 2: need to be fair to my other kids. Those who

847
00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:20,520
Speaker 2: said Kayla is the youngest first spot on. She's always

848
00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:22,440
Speaker 2: been a little spoiled. It's not just me and her

849
00:39:22,520 --> 00:39:25,240
Speaker 2: father who catered to her, though her brothers and sisters

850
00:39:25,239 --> 00:39:28,120
Speaker 2: did too. Because she's always been the baby, she tends

851
00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:30,640
Speaker 2: to dictate a lot of what we do, like restaurants

852
00:39:30,640 --> 00:39:34,080
Speaker 2: for family dinners or when we do holiday stuff. Even now,

853
00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:36,920
Speaker 2: they're really sad she cannot come and trying to reassure

854
00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:39,600
Speaker 2: that missing practices and a game is not the end

855
00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:42,000
Speaker 2: of the world. But they're also relieved that I'm not

856
00:39:42,080 --> 00:39:44,759
Speaker 2: changing my mind so we can actually go. It has

857
00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:47,360
Speaker 2: opened my eyes to a couple things, like a remodel

858
00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:50,080
Speaker 2: we have been putting off because it would eliminate Kayla's room.

859
00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:53,240
Speaker 2: Even though she has a year round apartment off campus,

860
00:39:53,719 --> 00:39:55,839
Speaker 2: she likes to sometimes come home and stay the night.

861
00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:58,160
Speaker 2: Her school is a little less than an hour away,

862
00:39:58,200 --> 00:39:59,560
Speaker 2: but we still have a guest room that all the

863
00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:01,920
Speaker 2: kids can news if they want to stay over. She

864
00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:04,640
Speaker 2: can start using that too. She also got back to

865
00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:07,160
Speaker 2: me last night and said she can do spring break

866
00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:09,080
Speaker 2: in March. I told her that does not work for

867
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:11,480
Speaker 2: me because I have surgery. The week before and the

868
00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:14,799
Speaker 2: recovery is two wish weeks. It is minor but abdominal,

869
00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:17,319
Speaker 2: so I definitely would not be recovered enough to go

870
00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:22,480
Speaker 2: on a hiking excursion and walking long periods. Any final thoughts.

871
00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:26,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, your youngest daughter is a bit of a bread

872
00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:28,960
Speaker 4: but she'll learn. Yes, she thinks it's young.

873
00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:31,800
Speaker 2: I don't think this is like a ah, she shucked,

874
00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:34,560
Speaker 2: get rid of her shinder to the orphanage she's done.

875
00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:37,440
Speaker 2: I think this is just like tell her that you

876
00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:39,799
Speaker 2: know what's happening and she'll get over it.

877
00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:42,040
Speaker 4: If I was a sibling, I'd be so annoying. I'd

878
00:40:42,080 --> 00:40:44,360
Speaker 4: be like every photo that we take on the vacation

879
00:40:44,560 --> 00:40:46,520
Speaker 4: if she still doesn't, if she doesn't end up coming

880
00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:49,319
Speaker 4: every photo we take on the vacation, I like photoshop

881
00:40:49,360 --> 00:40:51,240
Speaker 4: a picture of her head with a little stick figure

882
00:40:51,280 --> 00:40:51,879
Speaker 4: body on it.

883
00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:54,600
Speaker 2: I like that she claims she did not know that

884
00:40:54,719 --> 00:40:56,919
Speaker 2: even though it was discussed in our family group chat

885
00:40:57,239 --> 00:40:59,399
Speaker 2: as dates that were not available when we were working

886
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:04,200
Speaker 2: on nailing to schedules. I totally, however, do understand if

887
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:06,080
Speaker 2: she didn't know that, because she probably may have not

888
00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:07,600
Speaker 2: have read that.

889
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:09,719
Speaker 4: Because I know how to read.

890
00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:11,520
Speaker 2: I know I don't read everything in the family group.

891
00:41:11,719 --> 00:41:12,920
Speaker 4: I might not be reading, she.

892
00:41:12,920 --> 00:41:15,080
Speaker 2: Might not be yet reading level. So I am seeing

893
00:41:15,120 --> 00:41:17,480
Speaker 2: where I rank in priority in her life right now.

894
00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:20,399
Speaker 2: It's okay. I was twenty in in college once too,

895
00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:22,960
Speaker 2: so I do get it. But the dates are final,

896
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:25,799
Speaker 2: and if she cannot come, then she cannot come. I'll

897
00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:27,360
Speaker 2: miss her, but I'm going to make the best of

898
00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:29,520
Speaker 2: it with the kids who are there. Lights have not

899
00:41:29,560 --> 00:41:32,160
Speaker 2: been booked at I'm going to give it until after

900
00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:34,839
Speaker 2: the new year, since we have lots of time. If

901
00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:36,880
Speaker 2: she still cannot make it work by the time I

902
00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:40,240
Speaker 2: book them, then it is what it is. And that's true,

903
00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:43,480
Speaker 2: and that's just how it is. But that's the end

904
00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:44,720
Speaker 2: of that story.

905
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:48,239
Speaker 4: My mother remarried a man with many children while we

906
00:41:48,239 --> 00:41:50,200
Speaker 4: were already struggling financially.

907
00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:51,480
Speaker 2: Too many children.

908
00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:54,560
Speaker 4: Well, maybe the children can get jobs. In the minds

909
00:41:55,360 --> 00:41:57,799
Speaker 4: I nineteen, male, don't live at home anymore, and I

910
00:41:57,840 --> 00:42:01,520
Speaker 4: have a really difficult relationship with my mom forty seven female.

911
00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:05,320
Speaker 4: When I was six, my dad passed away. Mom was

912
00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:08,680
Speaker 4: left raising four kids on her own. I have an

913
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:13,040
Speaker 4: older brother and two younger sisters. Eighteen months after my

914
00:42:13,160 --> 00:42:17,640
Speaker 4: dad passed away, Mom remarried. Her husband was a widower

915
00:42:18,040 --> 00:42:21,520
Speaker 4: with five kids from his first marriage and two stepkids

916
00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:24,400
Speaker 4: he was raising. It's one away from cheaper by the dozen.

917
00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:27,719
Speaker 2: You could make them. Actually, no, wait a minute, is

918
00:42:27,760 --> 00:42:29,520
Speaker 2: it one cheaper by the dome?

919
00:42:29,640 --> 00:42:31,919
Speaker 4: No, it was almost okay, So I was like four

920
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:36,400
Speaker 4: kids plus five kids plus two stepkids.

921
00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:39,400
Speaker 1: So close, yeah, so close.

922
00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:43,120
Speaker 4: By the way, This comes from user kai Yan and

923
00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:45,200
Speaker 4: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

924
00:42:45,239 --> 00:42:48,320
Speaker 4: the r slash Okase storytime subburedate. I'm Dakota, I'm Sophia,

925
00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:50,640
Speaker 4: and we are here to give good advice googly, but

926
00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:52,280
Speaker 4: we don't have all the answers. We're just a couple

927
00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:56,480
Speaker 4: of goofballs. We're the equivalent of a mini golf course.

928
00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:57,440
Speaker 2: It's even truer.

929
00:42:57,640 --> 00:43:01,640
Speaker 4: You can't play the PGA here, no about but we

930
00:43:01,840 --> 00:43:03,719
Speaker 4: do know what we would do, And why don't you

931
00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:06,040
Speaker 4: just let us know what you would do? In the comments,

932
00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:09,719
Speaker 4: and op says neither my mom nor her husband had

933
00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:12,920
Speaker 4: much going into the marriage. Her husband had issues with

934
00:43:12,960 --> 00:43:16,520
Speaker 4: money and spending and gambling. He was in debt when

935
00:43:16,520 --> 00:43:18,880
Speaker 4: they got married, and they knew each other six months

936
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:22,560
Speaker 4: before they decided to make a blended family. The debt

937
00:43:22,640 --> 00:43:25,000
Speaker 4: stopped them from getting a decent sized house, so we

938
00:43:25,120 --> 00:43:27,000
Speaker 4: ended up in a three bedroom place where there was

939
00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:28,319
Speaker 4: a boy's room and a girl's room.

940
00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:30,719
Speaker 2: Ohsr, you ended up in a three bedroom place with

941
00:43:30,880 --> 00:43:35,680
Speaker 2: eleven people. No, no, no, thirteen kids. Eleven kids, thirteen

942
00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:39,279
Speaker 2: people's that's pretty rough. You got a Baker's dozen in

943
00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:39,920
Speaker 2: that house.

944
00:43:40,080 --> 00:43:45,880
Speaker 4: That's actually crazy. So we shared regardless of bio or

945
00:43:45,920 --> 00:43:49,040
Speaker 4: step relationships. It was all down to whether we were

946
00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:53,760
Speaker 4: boys or girls. There were no money for toys or activities.

947
00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:57,320
Speaker 4: Food was really strictly managed. We had three small meals

948
00:43:57,360 --> 00:44:00,480
Speaker 4: and no snacks. We all got free lunch, and I

949
00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:02,919
Speaker 4: used to get crap for not sharing what I got

950
00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:05,600
Speaker 4: with one of the steps who got bullied and would

951
00:44:05,600 --> 00:44:08,880
Speaker 4: have their lunch messed with every day. My brother and

952
00:44:08,920 --> 00:44:11,080
Speaker 4: I shared a bed, and my mom would always go

953
00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:13,640
Speaker 4: crazy that one of us wouldn't share with her husband's

954
00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:16,680
Speaker 4: youngest son, who had nightmares and already woke us up

955
00:44:16,760 --> 00:44:17,319
Speaker 4: during the night.

956
00:44:17,400 --> 00:44:19,520
Speaker 2: Genuinely, your mom is a bad parent.

957
00:44:20,080 --> 00:44:22,799
Speaker 4: Mom thought I'd be a good choice since I was

958
00:44:22,880 --> 00:44:25,120
Speaker 4: generally good with kids, but I didn't want to sleep

959
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:28,160
Speaker 4: with that kid. I never saw the Steps as siblings,

960
00:44:28,600 --> 00:44:31,040
Speaker 4: so it was really weird to be told I should

961
00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:33,520
Speaker 4: share a bed and not just a room with one

962
00:44:33,520 --> 00:44:36,279
Speaker 4: of them. My mom's husband would try to get my

963
00:44:36,320 --> 00:44:39,160
Speaker 4: brother and me to help him out with chores and stuff.

964
00:44:39,719 --> 00:44:41,920
Speaker 4: We'd fight most days because we didn't want to help

965
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:44,240
Speaker 4: him and he wasn't our dad, and we weren't ashamed

966
00:44:44,239 --> 00:44:46,600
Speaker 4: to tell him that either. He would try and say

967
00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:48,600
Speaker 4: he did so much for us, but we knew about

968
00:44:48,600 --> 00:44:51,000
Speaker 4: his money issues, so we didn't care about his rants.

969
00:44:51,719 --> 00:44:55,000
Speaker 4: Mom would always cry about us not making the most

970
00:44:55,080 --> 00:44:59,520
Speaker 4: of the new family. She hated that we split into

971
00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:03,240
Speaker 4: real s sibling groups instead of blending into one sibling group.

972
00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:07,040
Speaker 4: It was always a big deal, and the fact we

973
00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:09,879
Speaker 4: resented sharing rooms with the steps and so many kids

974
00:45:09,880 --> 00:45:12,200
Speaker 4: in general was something she resented my brother and me

975
00:45:12,320 --> 00:45:16,279
Speaker 4: for especially. She told us once she expected better from

976
00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:18,440
Speaker 4: the two of us because we were older and should

977
00:45:18,440 --> 00:45:21,799
Speaker 4: help make the family work. The fights got worse when

978
00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:24,040
Speaker 4: my brother and I started working part time and we

979
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:27,000
Speaker 4: used some of the money to treat our younger siblings.

980
00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:29,920
Speaker 4: Only we never bought stuff for the steps or for

981
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:33,200
Speaker 4: her and her husband. One time, my brother had money

982
00:45:33,239 --> 00:45:36,400
Speaker 4: saved and mom's husband couldn't pay the bills. They wanted

983
00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:39,560
Speaker 4: my brother to give the money, and he refused. They

984
00:45:39,600 --> 00:45:41,280
Speaker 4: were yelling at each other for hours.

985
00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:47,200
Speaker 2: It is not his responsibility to pay his parents' bills.

986
00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:50,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean depends on the bills, you know. I understand.

987
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:52,880
Speaker 4: It could be a conversation of like, hey, we need

988
00:45:52,960 --> 00:45:55,439
Speaker 4: help with bills this month. Are you able to help

989
00:45:55,480 --> 00:45:58,880
Speaker 4: with bills this month for us versus a give me

990
00:45:58,920 --> 00:46:02,680
Speaker 4: your money child? Money belongs to me. He moved out

991
00:46:02,800 --> 00:46:04,800
Speaker 4: just before he turned eighteen and then got a place

992
00:46:04,840 --> 00:46:07,160
Speaker 4: with two of his friends. Nice. I wonder why I

993
00:46:07,360 --> 00:46:09,839
Speaker 4: followed as soon as I turned eighteen and they let

994
00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:10,839
Speaker 4: me move in with them.

995
00:46:10,960 --> 00:46:11,320
Speaker 3: Nice.

996
00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:13,920
Speaker 4: We still keep in touch with our siblings, but contact

997
00:46:13,920 --> 00:46:17,560
Speaker 4: with Mom has been very limited, and my brother has none.

998
00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:21,560
Speaker 4: Mom's really upset we just left and basically cut all contact.

999
00:46:21,840 --> 00:46:23,840
Speaker 4: I was talking to her recently and she said she

1000
00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:26,560
Speaker 4: doesn't understand how we ended up here. Do you do

1001
00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:29,399
Speaker 4: you really not well when you married that guy who

1002
00:46:29,440 --> 00:46:34,560
Speaker 4: had seven kids? That might have been the first thing.

1003
00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:37,440
Speaker 4: She said. She felt like she was being punished for

1004
00:46:37,520 --> 00:46:39,360
Speaker 4: falling in love again and trying to give us a

1005
00:46:39,400 --> 00:46:41,719
Speaker 4: better life. I told her she gave us a way

1006
00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:45,920
Speaker 4: worse life. Mom told me that wasn't fair, and I

1007
00:46:46,080 --> 00:46:49,759
Speaker 4: said it was. I admitted I resented her for remarrying

1008
00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:52,719
Speaker 4: when she made life worse by marrying a guy with

1009
00:46:52,880 --> 00:46:56,080
Speaker 4: more kids and all that debt, who never really tried

1010
00:46:56,080 --> 00:46:59,400
Speaker 4: to turn things around. I said, losing Dad was already awful,

1011
00:46:59,400 --> 00:47:02,800
Speaker 4: but we didn't needed more bad. She tried to lecture

1012
00:47:02,840 --> 00:47:05,520
Speaker 4: me on how money doesn't mean everything, and we could

1013
00:47:05,560 --> 00:47:08,239
Speaker 4: have had a bigger family if we wanted to accept them,

1014
00:47:08,360 --> 00:47:11,400
Speaker 4: but we never did the way we were spoiled to

1015
00:47:11,480 --> 00:47:14,520
Speaker 4: think she should have stayed single to have more money.

1016
00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:17,719
Speaker 4: I just ended the call and ignored the text she

1017
00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:20,040
Speaker 4: followed up with that said I had no good reason

1018
00:47:20,040 --> 00:47:23,840
Speaker 4: to judge her. Any advice please, And there are some comments.

1019
00:47:23,960 --> 00:47:27,560
Speaker 2: I mean, honestly, limit to no contact. I mean, if

1020
00:47:27,560 --> 00:47:29,120
Speaker 2: you still want a little bit of contact, then just

1021
00:47:29,280 --> 00:47:33,319
Speaker 2: keep that limited contact. Because your mother is unreasonable. She

1022
00:47:34,200 --> 00:47:37,719
Speaker 2: maybe feels guilty, and if she can't understand that or

1023
00:47:37,800 --> 00:47:40,960
Speaker 2: is not willing to, then it was not really your

1024
00:47:40,960 --> 00:47:42,640
Speaker 2: responsibility to keep trying to.

1025
00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:46,280
Speaker 4: Make her it's true come at one. I don't understand

1026
00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:48,480
Speaker 4: how the math worked in your mom's head. Tripling the

1027
00:47:48,560 --> 00:47:51,800
Speaker 4: number of kids with a broke gambler improved your lives?

1028
00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:55,799
Speaker 4: How not the A hole, OPI says, in her head,

1029
00:47:55,840 --> 00:47:58,760
Speaker 4: she looks at it as more people was better than less,

1030
00:47:58,840 --> 00:48:02,840
Speaker 4: and no, it really really wasn't. But yeah, how could she?

1031
00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:07,160
Speaker 4: That's like the most baby brained thing of all time.

1032
00:48:07,360 --> 00:48:12,400
Speaker 4: Bigger number equals better? Yeah, I don't think so, Give

1033
00:48:12,440 --> 00:48:15,239
Speaker 4: me snacks come in to not the A whole. Your

1034
00:48:15,239 --> 00:48:18,640
Speaker 4: mom made choices that benefited her, not her children, and

1035
00:48:18,680 --> 00:48:21,200
Speaker 4: that's not what a parent is supposed to do. It

1036
00:48:21,239 --> 00:48:23,400
Speaker 4: wasn't up to you to make her relationship work, and

1037
00:48:23,440 --> 00:48:26,160
Speaker 4: she heavily parentified you and your older siblings at your

1038
00:48:26,200 --> 00:48:31,319
Speaker 4: emotional and developmental expense. She'll never understand that because she

1039
00:48:31,440 --> 00:48:34,839
Speaker 4: is emotionally immature. Good luck with your future. I hope

1040
00:48:34,880 --> 00:48:37,360
Speaker 4: your two oldest will be able to give your younger

1041
00:48:37,440 --> 00:48:40,719
Speaker 4: sisters some assistance when they are old enough to GTFO

1042
00:48:40,800 --> 00:48:43,719
Speaker 4: of their two Opie says, we will, and we promised

1043
00:48:43,760 --> 00:48:47,400
Speaker 4: them we'd have room for them. Comment three says, not

1044
00:48:47,560 --> 00:48:51,520
Speaker 4: the a whole. In fact, contact the Social Security Administration

1045
00:48:52,040 --> 00:48:54,600
Speaker 4: find out if benefits were paid out on your behalf

1046
00:48:54,640 --> 00:48:58,040
Speaker 4: to your mother from your deceased father's number. If so,

1047
00:48:58,239 --> 00:49:00,879
Speaker 4: that means she collected for all four of you from

1048
00:49:00,920 --> 00:49:04,479
Speaker 4: your father's passing benefits and has been supporting the six

1049
00:49:04,560 --> 00:49:07,920
Speaker 4: of them. That would make her even worse than you thought,

1050
00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:11,759
Speaker 4: but would explain why the leech stuck with her hope,

1051
00:49:11,760 --> 00:49:15,960
Speaker 4: He replies, they were both collecting social Security. He gambled

1052
00:49:16,080 --> 00:49:19,040
Speaker 4: most of it away, just like he gambled away a

1053
00:49:19,120 --> 00:49:22,840
Speaker 4: bunch of their money and his own before. Yeah, Ma,

1054
00:49:23,239 --> 00:49:26,920
Speaker 4: you moved us in with a degenerate gambler, and he thinks,

1055
00:49:27,360 --> 00:49:31,640
Speaker 4: and he had seven children. Having seven children to take

1056
00:49:31,680 --> 00:49:36,040
Speaker 4: care of and being a degenerate gambler does not add up.

1057
00:49:36,400 --> 00:49:41,040
Speaker 4: Replies to another comment, the important documents is something I

1058
00:49:41,120 --> 00:49:44,480
Speaker 4: can't help with me and my brother couldn't find ours,

1059
00:49:44,560 --> 00:49:47,439
Speaker 4: so we had to order new documents. My sisters will

1060
00:49:47,480 --> 00:49:49,520
Speaker 4: have to do the same. We do have a few

1061
00:49:49,560 --> 00:49:52,239
Speaker 4: sentimental things stored for them, and we had some of

1062
00:49:52,320 --> 00:49:55,120
Speaker 4: Dad's things that we got from his family, so we

1063
00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:58,840
Speaker 4: can share those once they're out. Reply to that says,

1064
00:49:59,120 --> 00:50:01,640
Speaker 4: were Mom in stafe dad refusing to hand them over

1065
00:50:01,800 --> 00:50:03,959
Speaker 4: or did they just plan not know where they were?

1066
00:50:04,480 --> 00:50:06,359
Speaker 4: Keep on top of your credit report and see about

1067
00:50:06,360 --> 00:50:09,560
Speaker 4: setting up some sort of fraud alert or protection, Opie says,

1068
00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:12,279
Speaker 4: I'm almost sure they have no idea where they are.

1069
00:50:12,560 --> 00:50:16,040
Speaker 4: We looked everywhere for them and couldn't find anything close.

1070
00:50:16,520 --> 00:50:19,799
Speaker 4: If those were sellable, it wouldn't shock me if he

1071
00:50:20,040 --> 00:50:23,799
Speaker 4: sold them for money or gambled them away. And that

1072
00:50:24,160 --> 00:50:26,320
Speaker 4: is the end of that story.

1073
00:50:27,360 --> 00:50:30,640
Speaker 2: My sister moved out, but her apartment problems keep landing

1074
00:50:30,680 --> 00:50:31,440
Speaker 2: on my doorstep.

1075
00:50:31,680 --> 00:50:34,640
Speaker 4: I got ninety nine problems in all her apartment problems

1076
00:50:34,680 --> 00:50:35,759
Speaker 4: off that some of them.

1077
00:50:36,239 --> 00:50:39,120
Speaker 2: I am a thirty seven year old female. My younger sister,

1078
00:50:39,200 --> 00:50:42,000
Speaker 2: twenty three years old, has been living with my husband

1079
00:50:42,040 --> 00:50:44,959
Speaker 2: and me for three and a half years. She moved

1080
00:50:44,960 --> 00:50:47,560
Speaker 2: in after her divorce from an eight month marriage, and

1081
00:50:47,680 --> 00:50:50,960
Speaker 2: I need unbiased advice on whether or not I'm being cold.

1082
00:50:51,520 --> 00:50:53,879
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from a noube gamer eighty

1083
00:50:53,880 --> 00:50:55,600
Speaker 2: eight and if you want to spit your own stories,

1084
00:50:55,600 --> 00:50:58,680
Speaker 2: go to the r slash Okay storytime subured it. I'm Sophia,

1085
00:50:59,000 --> 00:51:01,480
Speaker 2: I'm Dakota. When we're here to give good advice, gooofley,

1086
00:51:01,480 --> 00:51:03,239
Speaker 2: but we don't have all the answers. We only know

1087
00:51:03,280 --> 00:51:05,160
Speaker 2: what we do, So let us know what you would

1088
00:51:05,200 --> 00:51:08,040
Speaker 2: do in the comments and opisas at the time, my

1089
00:51:08,080 --> 00:51:10,520
Speaker 2: mom was passing away from her and I kind of

1090
00:51:10,560 --> 00:51:13,000
Speaker 2: took over the mom figure role since my sister is

1091
00:51:13,080 --> 00:51:15,600
Speaker 2: so much younger than me. I told her she can

1092
00:51:15,680 --> 00:51:17,480
Speaker 2: move in rent free as long as she had a

1093
00:51:17,560 --> 00:51:20,200
Speaker 2: job and worked on paying off her debt from her

1094
00:51:20,239 --> 00:51:24,760
Speaker 2: first marriage, focused on herself, save money, and maybe eventually

1095
00:51:24,760 --> 00:51:26,759
Speaker 2: bought a house of her own. How much debt does

1096
00:51:26,760 --> 00:51:28,919
Speaker 2: she have from her first marriage, She's only twenty three.

1097
00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:32,120
Speaker 2: In October twenty twenty four, she told me she was

1098
00:51:32,160 --> 00:51:35,719
Speaker 2: pregnant with her boyfriend Woo, whom she had met about

1099
00:51:35,760 --> 00:51:38,680
Speaker 2: four months earlier. I was a bit shocked because the

1100
00:51:38,680 --> 00:51:40,680
Speaker 2: plan had been for her to save enough money to

1101
00:51:40,719 --> 00:51:43,520
Speaker 2: move out on her own before starting a family. This

1102
00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:47,000
Speaker 2: girl is going through a lot already. You know, had

1103
00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:50,400
Speaker 2: one marriage and then is now pregnant and still has

1104
00:51:50,400 --> 00:51:51,560
Speaker 2: a debt for the first marriage.

1105
00:51:51,640 --> 00:51:55,080
Speaker 4: Yeahoo, twenty three, that's a lot.

1106
00:51:55,120 --> 00:51:57,040
Speaker 2: But I do support her and I want to help.

1107
00:51:57,400 --> 00:52:00,000
Speaker 2: So her boyfriend moved in a few weeks later, rent free.

1108
00:52:00,440 --> 00:52:02,680
Speaker 2: I told them they were not paying rent and to

1109
00:52:02,719 --> 00:52:05,560
Speaker 2: save as much as possible so that in twelve months

1110
00:52:05,560 --> 00:52:07,920
Speaker 2: they could get a nice place of their own. Twelve

1111
00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:10,160
Speaker 2: months from then would be about three months after the

1112
00:52:10,200 --> 00:52:13,200
Speaker 2: baby was born. A year later, it was time for

1113
00:52:13,280 --> 00:52:16,400
Speaker 2: them to move. I found out they had not saved

1114
00:52:16,560 --> 00:52:19,600
Speaker 2: any money. I don't know where their money went, but

1115
00:52:19,680 --> 00:52:22,319
Speaker 2: I did notice they were using crib hub for every meal.

1116
00:52:23,040 --> 00:52:25,000
Speaker 2: I know the boyfriend has a decent job, but my

1117
00:52:25,040 --> 00:52:28,799
Speaker 2: sister quit working five months into her pregnancy. They ended

1118
00:52:28,840 --> 00:52:31,520
Speaker 2: up getting a seemingly nice and cheap apartment about ten

1119
00:52:31,560 --> 00:52:34,879
Speaker 2: minutes from my house. A week after they moved out,

1120
00:52:34,960 --> 00:52:37,880
Speaker 2: they came knocking at my door at three am because

1121
00:52:37,920 --> 00:52:40,320
Speaker 2: they found a bedbug on their bed.

1122
00:52:42,080 --> 00:52:42,840
Speaker 4: Oh no, I'm not.

1123
00:52:42,880 --> 00:52:43,720
Speaker 2: Letting them inside.

1124
00:52:44,239 --> 00:52:46,040
Speaker 4: Na, you are banned your band.

1125
00:52:46,120 --> 00:52:48,879
Speaker 2: You can't come inside with your bed bugs. They will

1126
00:52:48,880 --> 00:52:49,640
Speaker 2: get everywhere.

1127
00:52:50,040 --> 00:52:52,240
Speaker 4: You got bad bugs, the bed bugs.

1128
00:52:52,560 --> 00:52:54,759
Speaker 2: The next day, they had their leasing office get a

1129
00:52:54,760 --> 00:52:58,279
Speaker 2: pest control company to spray the apartment. Supposedly there were

1130
00:52:58,320 --> 00:53:01,600
Speaker 2: bed bugs in the walls and under the carpet, and

1131
00:53:01,640 --> 00:53:04,040
Speaker 2: they had to lift the carpet. This is my nightmare.

1132
00:53:04,280 --> 00:53:06,120
Speaker 4: Bedbugs in the walls. He got wall bugs.

1133
00:53:06,239 --> 00:53:08,320
Speaker 2: A few days later, they went back to their apartment

1134
00:53:08,400 --> 00:53:11,319
Speaker 2: to start cleaning and washing clothes. After a week, they

1135
00:53:11,360 --> 00:53:14,120
Speaker 2: came back to my place saying they had found another

1136
00:53:14,280 --> 00:53:18,080
Speaker 2: bedbug in the baby's clothes. They complained to the leasing

1137
00:53:18,080 --> 00:53:20,240
Speaker 2: office again and try to get out of the contract.

1138
00:53:20,280 --> 00:53:23,320
Speaker 2: They should be able to. Yeah, they should absolutely be

1139
00:53:23,440 --> 00:53:23,839
Speaker 2: able to.

1140
00:53:24,160 --> 00:53:27,439
Speaker 4: I believe. So that is uh hoo, yikes, you get

1141
00:53:27,480 --> 00:53:29,480
Speaker 4: my baby bed bugs? You got baby bed bugs.

1142
00:53:29,640 --> 00:53:32,280
Speaker 2: Supposedly they would need to give months notice and still

1143
00:53:32,320 --> 00:53:34,880
Speaker 2: pay for two months. I'm no, no, no, no, no,

1144
00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:37,759
Speaker 2: I'm throwing a fit. I'm like they were in there

1145
00:53:37,800 --> 00:53:40,759
Speaker 2: was an infestation in this house. After a week of

1146
00:53:40,800 --> 00:53:42,960
Speaker 2: staying with us, they went back to their apartment that

1147
00:53:43,080 --> 00:53:46,000
Speaker 2: same night and found a cockroach in their kitchen. So

1148
00:53:46,040 --> 00:53:49,840
Speaker 2: they came back again. Cockroach. Honestly, that one's fine. Cockroach

1149
00:53:49,960 --> 00:53:52,760
Speaker 2: is like mahoo guys. At this point, I was getting

1150
00:53:52,800 --> 00:53:56,080
Speaker 2: really irritated. I want her and them to be independent.

1151
00:53:56,520 --> 00:53:59,160
Speaker 2: I told her, you will always have bugs everywhere you go.

1152
00:54:00,120 --> 00:54:03,360
Speaker 2: Roaches in my first apartment because it was old. It

1153
00:54:03,440 --> 00:54:05,680
Speaker 2: was unfortunate you got bed bugs in your first week.

1154
00:54:05,760 --> 00:54:08,280
Speaker 2: But because of the type of apartment it is older

1155
00:54:08,280 --> 00:54:14,480
Speaker 2: and cheaper, it is expected. No not no roaches, Yeah, mice,

1156
00:54:14,680 --> 00:54:18,839
Speaker 2: maybe other bugs ure bed bugs No, no, no, that

1157
00:54:18,920 --> 00:54:20,400
Speaker 2: is that should not be expected.

1158
00:54:20,400 --> 00:54:25,320
Speaker 4: They were almost eradicated. Yeah, bed bugs entirely eradicated this close.

1159
00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:27,839
Speaker 4: Now they're back, they're on the rise now.

1160
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:30,200
Speaker 2: Her and her boyfriend said they didn't want their baby

1161
00:54:30,200 --> 00:54:33,120
Speaker 2: living in those conditions. I told them they couldn't expect

1162
00:54:33,120 --> 00:54:35,560
Speaker 2: a bug free home, and the leasing office was trying

1163
00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:39,160
Speaker 2: to take care of the situation. Honestly, OPI, bro, you're

1164
00:54:39,200 --> 00:54:42,440
Speaker 2: too chill. You're too chill, because I'm sorry. If it

1165
00:54:42,480 --> 00:54:45,480
Speaker 2: were other bugs, I would get your statement. But with

1166
00:54:45,680 --> 00:54:47,160
Speaker 2: bed bugs, I don't get you.

1167
00:54:47,360 --> 00:54:51,439
Speaker 4: If they were like crickets, sure these are, these can

1168
00:54:51,480 --> 00:54:52,600
Speaker 4: be like dead.

1169
00:54:54,080 --> 00:54:56,520
Speaker 2: You can get like, oh my goodness. I do not

1170
00:54:56,560 --> 00:54:59,880
Speaker 2: agree with you, Opie. After speaking to the office again

1171
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:02,440
Speaker 2: and they said they knew there was a roach infestation

1172
00:55:02,960 --> 00:55:05,320
Speaker 2: and that they would have past control spray one unit

1173
00:55:05,360 --> 00:55:08,200
Speaker 2: per week. So they knew there was a roach investation,

1174
00:55:08,320 --> 00:55:10,680
Speaker 2: and they knew there was a bed bug infestation and

1175
00:55:10,719 --> 00:55:11,640
Speaker 2: they let you move in.

1176
00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:13,400
Speaker 4: Maybe they just they knew the roaches.

1177
00:55:13,520 --> 00:55:15,319
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, maybe they didn't know the bed bug, but

1178
00:55:15,360 --> 00:55:17,520
Speaker 2: the infestation in the walls. In everything.

1179
00:55:18,040 --> 00:55:20,200
Speaker 4: You can't do one unit at a time because it

1180
00:55:20,239 --> 00:55:22,200
Speaker 4: doesn't do anything. They just moved to a different year,

1181
00:55:22,400 --> 00:55:24,200
Speaker 4: and then the move to a different unit, you to do

1182
00:55:24,239 --> 00:55:24,840
Speaker 4: the whole building.

1183
00:55:24,880 --> 00:55:27,760
Speaker 2: They're in unit gy, so their apartment won't be sprayed

1184
00:55:27,840 --> 00:55:31,240
Speaker 2: until January. I told my sister that I will always

1185
00:55:31,320 --> 00:55:34,880
Speaker 2: be there and that I'm here to help. I'm feeling frustrated.

1186
00:55:35,080 --> 00:55:37,280
Speaker 2: My husband and I just want our own space again.

1187
00:55:37,800 --> 00:55:40,560
Speaker 2: We feel we've gone above and beyond helping them. We

1188
00:55:40,640 --> 00:55:42,560
Speaker 2: let them live for free in our spare room for

1189
00:55:42,640 --> 00:55:45,920
Speaker 2: over a years since her pregnancy, and even years before

1190
00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:48,680
Speaker 2: that when she was single. I feel for my three

1191
00:55:48,680 --> 00:55:51,560
Speaker 2: month old niece, but I also question how much responsibility

1192
00:55:51,640 --> 00:55:54,560
Speaker 2: is fair to take on. Would I really be the

1193
00:55:54,560 --> 00:55:56,960
Speaker 2: ale if I told them to deal with their apartment

1194
00:55:57,040 --> 00:56:00,560
Speaker 2: issues despite the bugs, or should I let them stay

1195
00:56:00,560 --> 00:56:03,919
Speaker 2: with us longer, potentially for who knows how long? They

1196
00:56:03,960 --> 00:56:05,880
Speaker 2: say they need to start looking for a place. But

1197
00:56:05,960 --> 00:56:08,600
Speaker 2: I asked, what if their next place has issues, their

1198
00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:10,839
Speaker 2: next place won't have bed bugs?

1199
00:56:11,320 --> 00:56:12,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, you can check that pretty easy.

1200
00:56:12,960 --> 00:56:14,360
Speaker 2: You could check it pretty easily.

1201
00:56:14,480 --> 00:56:17,439
Speaker 4: Most people just don't know you have to. Yeah, but yeah,

1202
00:56:17,600 --> 00:56:18,319
Speaker 4: you still do.

1203
00:56:18,520 --> 00:56:21,640
Speaker 2: Always check for bed bugs, especially if you're staying in

1204
00:56:21,640 --> 00:56:25,960
Speaker 2: a hostels. Yeah, and don't buy us, never buy use mattresses.

1205
00:56:26,560 --> 00:56:29,160
Speaker 2: I love my little sister and would do anything for her,

1206
00:56:29,320 --> 00:56:31,640
Speaker 2: But I am giving mixed signals because I tell her

1207
00:56:31,680 --> 00:56:34,839
Speaker 2: I'll always help, yet I sound frustrated, which makes her

1208
00:56:34,840 --> 00:56:38,279
Speaker 2: feel uncomfortable. I asked my husband if you would act

1209
00:56:38,280 --> 00:56:40,120
Speaker 2: the same way if it were him with a baby,

1210
00:56:40,360 --> 00:56:44,400
Speaker 2: and he said yes, because bugs are dirty, carry diseases

1211
00:56:44,440 --> 00:56:47,680
Speaker 2: and are unsafe for the baby. I'm very logical and

1212
00:56:47,760 --> 00:56:50,759
Speaker 2: tough due to everything I've been through with my physical disability.

1213
00:56:51,200 --> 00:56:53,880
Speaker 2: When problems come my way, I usually accept them and

1214
00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:57,280
Speaker 2: deal with them, and I don't like pity. In this case,

1215
00:56:57,320 --> 00:56:59,480
Speaker 2: I don't see a problem, and if for me, I

1216
00:56:59,520 --> 00:57:02,400
Speaker 2: would just deal with it. So sometimes I come across

1217
00:57:02,400 --> 00:57:06,920
Speaker 2: as cold. Any advice would be appreciated, and there are comments,

1218
00:57:07,760 --> 00:57:09,960
Speaker 2: But again I think it would be different if they

1219
00:57:09,960 --> 00:57:11,560
Speaker 2: didn't have bed bugs and a baby body.

1220
00:57:11,600 --> 00:57:13,680
Speaker 4: You would just deal with bed bugs. You would just

1221
00:57:13,760 --> 00:57:16,480
Speaker 4: let bed bugs consume your blood every night.

1222
00:57:16,600 --> 00:57:20,040
Speaker 2: Bed Bugs are one of the hardest infestations to get

1223
00:57:20,120 --> 00:57:23,320
Speaker 2: rid of. Common one not the a hole. They need

1224
00:57:23,320 --> 00:57:25,120
Speaker 2: to get the f out and deal with the bugs

1225
00:57:25,240 --> 00:57:27,880
Speaker 2: or find another option. If it was bed bugs, the

1226
00:57:27,960 --> 00:57:30,320
Speaker 2: landlord would have paid for hotel if they had pushed it,

1227
00:57:30,360 --> 00:57:34,800
Speaker 2: as they're considered dangerous parasites. Roaches are not considered dangerous.

1228
00:57:34,880 --> 00:57:37,120
Speaker 2: They're just gross and can be controlled with cleaning and

1229
00:57:37,200 --> 00:57:40,720
Speaker 2: green pesticides. They didn't save money, so they couldn't afford

1230
00:57:40,760 --> 00:57:43,440
Speaker 2: a nicer place, so all of that is their clear

1231
00:57:43,520 --> 00:57:46,800
Speaker 2: and predictable faults. No sympathy for self inflicted with.

1232
00:57:46,960 --> 00:57:50,439
Speaker 4: Well, I will say that not every landlord abides by

1233
00:57:50,520 --> 00:57:54,000
Speaker 4: every law and regulation. Clearly, they are very possible that

1234
00:57:54,040 --> 00:57:56,320
Speaker 4: they could have been like, yeah, we're not gonna help

1235
00:57:56,320 --> 00:57:58,960
Speaker 4: you like that, and we're confident you don't have the

1236
00:57:59,040 --> 00:58:02,640
Speaker 4: means or not to tell us that we need to

1237
00:58:02,680 --> 00:58:03,680
Speaker 4: be forced to tell you.

1238
00:58:03,760 --> 00:58:05,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is like a twenty three year old with

1239
00:58:05,480 --> 00:58:08,040
Speaker 2: a baby. I don't think they are, you know, too

1240
00:58:08,120 --> 00:58:11,040
Speaker 2: scared of your sister. Comma two says not the ale.

1241
00:58:11,240 --> 00:58:13,600
Speaker 2: If they had saved during that last rent for a year,

1242
00:58:13,640 --> 00:58:16,120
Speaker 2: they could have gotten either a house or at least

1243
00:58:16,120 --> 00:58:19,440
Speaker 2: a better apartment, but they decided to just f around instead,

1244
00:58:19,960 --> 00:58:23,000
Speaker 2: So their current problems are their own fault. You've done

1245
00:58:23,080 --> 00:58:25,520
Speaker 2: more than enough. They need to step up and get out.

1246
00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:28,280
Speaker 2: Comment three says, look at the German roach sup reddit.

1247
00:58:28,360 --> 00:58:31,080
Speaker 2: They have chemicals. They recommend right them for your sister

1248
00:58:31,280 --> 00:58:34,000
Speaker 2: so she can treat the problem herself with professional chemicals.

1249
00:58:34,360 --> 00:58:37,120
Speaker 2: Then that's it. No more help at this point. It's

1250
00:58:37,160 --> 00:58:39,600
Speaker 2: not healthy for you or her, and that is the

1251
00:58:39,720 --> 00:58:40,600
Speaker 2: end of that story.

1252
00:58:42,160 --> 00:58:44,960
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Keon, your favorite shortking. We're going to get

1253
00:58:44,960 --> 00:58:46,880
Speaker 1: back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads

1254
00:58:46,880 --> 00:58:47,960
Speaker 1: from our sponsors.

1255
00:58:48,360 --> 00:58:52,160
Speaker 4: My ex husband got a girlfriend and might inherit everything

1256
00:58:52,280 --> 00:58:53,400
Speaker 4: meant for my son.

1257
00:58:54,120 --> 00:58:55,360
Speaker 2: I'm not letting that happen.

1258
00:58:55,560 --> 00:58:59,280
Speaker 4: That's right, she's on the case. X sixty three male

1259
00:58:59,360 --> 00:59:02,160
Speaker 4: and I sixty two female married late at thirty and

1260
00:59:02,280 --> 00:59:03,360
Speaker 4: thirty one, respectively.

1261
00:59:03,920 --> 00:59:08,080
Speaker 2: He's not late. That's like not late at all.

1262
00:59:08,160 --> 00:59:11,880
Speaker 4: Right, maybe back in the day. Yeah, after dating and

1263
00:59:11,920 --> 00:59:14,040
Speaker 4: being engaged for over five.

1264
00:59:13,880 --> 00:59:15,960
Speaker 2: Years, it's like such a normal timeline.

1265
00:59:16,000 --> 00:59:18,600
Speaker 4: He cheated on me for months with a spicy dancer

1266
00:59:18,600 --> 00:59:23,520
Speaker 4: from Las Vegas while I was pregnant. Unfortunately, another normal timeline, yikes.

1267
00:59:24,080 --> 00:59:26,120
Speaker 4: X had wanted me to quit my job and stay

1268
00:59:26,160 --> 00:59:29,520
Speaker 4: home with our son thirty male, which I did. By

1269
00:59:29,560 --> 00:59:31,800
Speaker 4: the way, this comes from user Fabulous Kittens, and if

1270
00:59:31,800 --> 00:59:33,400
Speaker 4: you want to submit your own stories, go to our

1271
00:59:33,440 --> 00:59:37,160
Speaker 4: slash Okay storytime suburt it. I'm Dakota, I'm Sophia, and

1272
00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:40,000
Speaker 4: we are here to help give good advice goofly to

1273
00:59:40,080 --> 00:59:42,640
Speaker 4: all of the folks out there who listen to us,

1274
00:59:42,640 --> 00:59:46,040
Speaker 4: But just know you listen into some goofballs. Don't know everything.

1275
00:59:46,600 --> 00:59:48,840
Speaker 4: We just know what we'd do. So if you would

1276
00:59:48,880 --> 00:59:51,280
Speaker 4: do something else, do just let us know in the comments.

1277
00:59:52,440 --> 00:59:55,840
Speaker 4: We'd like to read about it. And OP says, X

1278
00:59:55,920 --> 00:59:58,880
Speaker 4: continued to see this woman. I knew what was going on,

1279
00:59:59,000 --> 01:00:01,840
Speaker 4: but didn't say any thing. X thought he was being

1280
01:00:01,960 --> 01:00:06,200
Speaker 4: super sneaky. I remember feeling scared, humiliated, and immobilized as

1281
01:00:06,280 --> 01:00:09,240
Speaker 4: my marriage was crumbling. I had to quit my job,

1282
01:00:09,400 --> 01:00:11,840
Speaker 4: had no income, and was taking care of a one

1283
01:00:11,920 --> 01:00:15,160
Speaker 4: year old. As time went on, my then husband became

1284
01:00:15,240 --> 01:00:18,520
Speaker 4: even more hateful, mean and nasty. He wouldn't go to

1285
01:00:18,600 --> 01:00:22,720
Speaker 4: counseling after a few sessions because the therapist sided with me.

1286
01:00:23,160 --> 01:00:26,080
Speaker 4: In his words, my parents told me years later that

1287
01:00:26,120 --> 01:00:28,560
Speaker 4: every time they visited our house, they always heard my

1288
01:00:28,640 --> 01:00:31,640
Speaker 4: then husband yelling at me, a door slam, and then

1289
01:00:31,720 --> 01:00:34,440
Speaker 4: when I came out, they saw I'd been crying. They

1290
01:00:34,440 --> 01:00:36,560
Speaker 4: felt it wasn't their place to say anything, so they

1291
01:00:36,600 --> 01:00:41,360
Speaker 4: never did. My family, your family, it is exactly your

1292
01:00:41,400 --> 01:00:43,000
Speaker 4: place to say something.

1293
01:00:42,760 --> 01:00:47,760
Speaker 2: That's honestly, like wow, I would see my family differently

1294
01:00:47,840 --> 01:00:52,400
Speaker 2: if I knew that they knew I was, you know,

1295
01:00:52,520 --> 01:00:55,360
Speaker 2: in an unhealthy relationship, and they never did any just just.

1296
01:00:55,280 --> 01:00:58,040
Speaker 4: Gonna at least say something. Maybe you can't do something,

1297
01:00:58,080 --> 01:01:00,240
Speaker 4: but you can say something that's what you can do,

1298
01:01:01,120 --> 01:01:04,720
Speaker 4: and go, hey, are you okay? Is this okayl It

1299
01:01:04,760 --> 01:01:07,920
Speaker 4: doesn't seem like this is going very well. The next

1300
01:01:08,000 --> 01:01:10,360
Speaker 4: act is when our son was about two, my then

1301
01:01:10,520 --> 01:01:12,800
Speaker 4: husband walked out one night and said he was not

1302
01:01:12,880 --> 01:01:15,360
Speaker 4: coming back. He told me he was in love with

1303
01:01:15,480 --> 01:01:18,080
Speaker 4: the spicy dancer and was leaving to go be with

1304
01:01:18,200 --> 01:01:20,680
Speaker 4: someone that loved him and that he could have a

1305
01:01:20,760 --> 01:01:21,400
Speaker 4: life with.

1306
01:01:21,520 --> 01:01:24,000
Speaker 2: I'm gonna tell you something. I'm gonna tell you a secret.

1307
01:01:24,680 --> 01:01:25,800
Speaker 2: She's not in love with you.

1308
01:01:26,440 --> 01:01:29,080
Speaker 4: It was both terrifying and a relief at the same time,

1309
01:01:29,160 --> 01:01:31,840
Speaker 4: as I was constantly walking on eggshells, just waiting for

1310
01:01:31,880 --> 01:01:35,080
Speaker 4: the next explosion. The mortgage payments on the house were

1311
01:01:35,080 --> 01:01:37,720
Speaker 4: paid by my ex each until I was able to

1312
01:01:37,800 --> 01:01:40,800
Speaker 4: find a job. Then I had to pay half. I

1313
01:01:40,880 --> 01:01:44,160
Speaker 4: got a new job, went to therapy for two years,

1314
01:01:44,200 --> 01:01:47,200
Speaker 4: and made every attempt possible at creating a new normal

1315
01:01:47,280 --> 01:01:50,480
Speaker 4: life for myself and our son. I had full custody

1316
01:01:50,480 --> 01:01:53,280
Speaker 4: of our son, and my ex saw him some weekends

1317
01:01:53,360 --> 01:01:55,360
Speaker 4: and took him on some trips when he seemed to

1318
01:01:55,680 --> 01:01:58,840
Speaker 4: have time. While he continued to build a successful career

1319
01:01:58,880 --> 01:02:04,040
Speaker 4: for himself, took care of his girlfriend's children. They split

1320
01:02:04,200 --> 01:02:07,680
Speaker 4: after six years together. He has had various other short

1321
01:02:07,720 --> 01:02:11,919
Speaker 4: relationships since then. Over the years, I poured myself into

1322
01:02:11,960 --> 01:02:15,000
Speaker 4: being the best mom I could. I realized I would

1323
01:02:15,160 --> 01:02:18,520
Speaker 4: never have peace in my heart unless I forgave my ex.

1324
01:02:19,080 --> 01:02:22,680
Speaker 4: I literally stopped caring. My parents loaned me money to

1325
01:02:22,760 --> 01:02:26,200
Speaker 4: hire a divorce attorney. My then husband threatened to take

1326
01:02:26,240 --> 01:02:28,680
Speaker 4: our son away from me if I went through with it,

1327
01:02:28,960 --> 01:02:31,400
Speaker 4: and said he would tell everyone I was crazy and

1328
01:02:31,560 --> 01:02:36,040
Speaker 4: not fit to be a mother. Wow. What a nightmare scenario.

1329
01:02:36,120 --> 01:02:37,360
Speaker 2: Really just keeps getting worse.

1330
01:02:37,720 --> 01:02:41,320
Speaker 4: Rationally, I knew that this was not really possible, but

1331
01:02:41,520 --> 01:02:44,720
Speaker 4: my then husband had become fairly wealthy by that time

1332
01:02:45,080 --> 01:02:47,600
Speaker 4: and had many professional connections, so a part of me

1333
01:02:47,720 --> 01:02:50,760
Speaker 4: decided to stay quiet, continued to raise our son as

1334
01:02:50,760 --> 01:02:54,080
Speaker 4: best I could, and shut out the drama. When we

1335
01:02:54,160 --> 01:02:56,480
Speaker 4: signed the divorce papers, I got nothing more than my

1336
01:02:56,600 --> 01:02:59,080
Speaker 4: share of our house, which was about one hundred thousand

1337
01:02:59,120 --> 01:02:59,520
Speaker 4: at the time.

1338
01:03:00,120 --> 01:03:02,160
Speaker 2: You sign a prenup. How did that happen?

1339
01:03:02,320 --> 01:03:03,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know.

1340
01:03:03,280 --> 01:03:04,560
Speaker 2: Did he just have a really good lawyer?

1341
01:03:04,640 --> 01:03:07,240
Speaker 4: He probably did. If he had the money. Everything else

1342
01:03:07,320 --> 01:03:09,920
Speaker 4: was his and I should not dare to try to

1343
01:03:09,960 --> 01:03:12,800
Speaker 4: take anything from him. He said that since he had

1344
01:03:12,880 --> 01:03:15,960
Speaker 4: moved out, I was only entitled to share in assets

1345
01:03:16,000 --> 01:03:18,920
Speaker 4: we had accumulated up until that point, even though we

1346
01:03:19,000 --> 01:03:22,080
Speaker 4: stayed married on paper for a few years after he left.

1347
01:03:22,320 --> 01:03:25,280
Speaker 4: Did you not have your own lawyer? Did you not

1348
01:03:25,360 --> 01:03:27,479
Speaker 4: lawyer up? You should have one thousand percent lawyer.

1349
01:03:27,560 --> 01:03:29,400
Speaker 2: No, it sounds like he did not lawyer up.

1350
01:03:29,440 --> 01:03:32,360
Speaker 4: I knew this was not true. There was no prenup.

1351
01:03:32,680 --> 01:03:36,200
Speaker 4: I am not complaining, just stating a fact. Another fact

1352
01:03:36,280 --> 01:03:39,160
Speaker 4: is years later, the ex put a personalized license plate

1353
01:03:39,200 --> 01:03:43,520
Speaker 4: on his ferrari. The man has a ferrari that read

1354
01:03:44,160 --> 01:03:48,120
Speaker 4: GRT prenup. I guess he thought that was pretty funny.

1355
01:03:48,640 --> 01:03:52,600
Speaker 4: Fast forward, I never dated or remarried. Our son turned

1356
01:03:52,640 --> 01:03:56,640
Speaker 4: into an incredible, smart, kind and accomplished young man. He

1357
01:03:56,720 --> 01:04:00,040
Speaker 4: started and runs his own business. I am happy, we

1358
01:04:00,200 --> 01:04:03,480
Speaker 4: have wonderful friends, AM at peace, and have managed to

1359
01:04:03,560 --> 01:04:06,560
Speaker 4: do well enough by myself. I am far from wealthy,

1360
01:04:06,680 --> 01:04:09,720
Speaker 4: but I'm okay. I am blessed that my parents instilled

1361
01:04:09,760 --> 01:04:12,440
Speaker 4: in me many important life skills and that God has

1362
01:04:12,480 --> 01:04:15,000
Speaker 4: kept me on the right path. My ex has told

1363
01:04:15,000 --> 01:04:18,240
Speaker 4: me repeatedly what a great mom I was, which is weird,

1364
01:04:18,360 --> 01:04:23,240
Speaker 4: but I appreciate it. It's like, Okay, yeah, that's kind

1365
01:04:23,240 --> 01:04:25,520
Speaker 4: of wild. I don't really care what you have. Your

1366
01:04:25,560 --> 01:04:29,080
Speaker 4: opinion on my being a mother means nothing. You abandoned

1367
01:04:29,160 --> 01:04:30,240
Speaker 4: us when he was two.

1368
01:04:30,680 --> 01:04:31,160
Speaker 2: Shut up.

1369
01:04:31,520 --> 01:04:33,640
Speaker 4: I have tried to model what being a good person

1370
01:04:33,800 --> 01:04:36,440
Speaker 4: is to my son. My son and I remain close,

1371
01:04:36,560 --> 01:04:38,880
Speaker 4: talk to one another all the time, and I work

1372
01:04:38,960 --> 01:04:41,800
Speaker 4: part time for his business. I wouldn't say my ex

1373
01:04:41,840 --> 01:04:44,080
Speaker 4: and I are friends, but I figured long ago if

1374
01:04:44,120 --> 01:04:46,280
Speaker 4: there was any chance to give our son the most

1375
01:04:46,320 --> 01:04:49,640
Speaker 4: normal life, it reasonably needed to include his father. So

1376
01:04:49,800 --> 01:04:52,640
Speaker 4: we're amicable as much as possible. I live in the

1377
01:04:52,680 --> 01:04:54,960
Speaker 4: same city as my ex, and we see each other

1378
01:04:54,960 --> 01:04:59,360
Speaker 4: at social engagements. My ex's current girlfriend, forty one female,

1379
01:04:59,680 --> 01:05:02,880
Speaker 4: has a a decent amount of money from her two divorces.

1380
01:05:03,880 --> 01:05:08,120
Speaker 4: That's crazy. Ooh, my full time job is getting divorced

1381
01:05:08,120 --> 01:05:09,000
Speaker 4: from wealthy people.

1382
01:05:09,120 --> 01:05:12,280
Speaker 2: I just divorced a lot. The benefits are great.

1383
01:05:12,480 --> 01:05:14,960
Speaker 4: She kind of keeps him at arm's length, but gladly

1384
01:05:15,040 --> 01:05:17,880
Speaker 4: accepts the gifts and money being lavished on her and

1385
01:05:17,920 --> 01:05:21,200
Speaker 4: her two teenage daughters. From just seeing her new jewelry,

1386
01:05:21,240 --> 01:05:24,760
Speaker 4: car and handbags. I estimate he is in for about

1387
01:05:24,800 --> 01:05:28,920
Speaker 4: four hundred thousand so far after about one year together.

1388
01:05:29,640 --> 01:05:34,240
Speaker 4: I don't falter, but I think he is crazy. But whatever,

1389
01:05:34,720 --> 01:05:37,680
Speaker 4: here is where the disconnect and pain is For my son.

1390
01:05:38,360 --> 01:05:41,440
Speaker 4: His dad has done a complete life makeover, new veneers,

1391
01:05:41,520 --> 01:05:45,120
Speaker 4: new hair, facial surgery, dresses to the nines, works out,

1392
01:05:45,560 --> 01:05:47,880
Speaker 4: and acts like a totally different person. When he's with

1393
01:05:48,000 --> 01:05:51,240
Speaker 4: his girlfriend and new circle of friends. He travels the world,

1394
01:05:51,320 --> 01:05:54,320
Speaker 4: buys expensive cars, goes out to fancy dinners and clubs,

1395
01:05:54,320 --> 01:05:57,080
Speaker 4: and seems happier than a pig and mud. I know

1396
01:05:57,200 --> 01:06:00,000
Speaker 4: this because he tells me. I just laughed to myself

1397
01:06:00,120 --> 01:06:03,240
Speaker 4: because I don't care. My son's dad has always, for

1398
01:06:03,360 --> 01:06:06,360
Speaker 4: years told our son that he would inherit everything and

1399
01:06:06,400 --> 01:06:09,600
Speaker 4: that any money he'd amassed was family money and that

1400
01:06:09,640 --> 01:06:12,680
Speaker 4: it would stay within the family. He expected our son

1401
01:06:12,760 --> 01:06:15,640
Speaker 4: to be true to this, as did our son. Our

1402
01:06:15,680 --> 01:06:18,880
Speaker 4: son found out last week that he was being replaced

1403
01:06:18,960 --> 01:06:23,000
Speaker 4: as executor of his dad's estate, and the new girlfriend

1404
01:06:23,280 --> 01:06:26,360
Speaker 4: is now the executor. This has not sat well with

1405
01:06:26,400 --> 01:06:29,880
Speaker 4: our son. He feels emotionally defeated right now and questions

1406
01:06:29,920 --> 01:06:33,520
Speaker 4: what he thought was loyalty and family bonds. He knows

1407
01:06:33,560 --> 01:06:36,480
Speaker 4: and acknowledges that his dad's money is his dad's money,

1408
01:06:36,720 --> 01:06:38,920
Speaker 4: and he could literally set it on fire and no

1409
01:06:39,000 --> 01:06:42,880
Speaker 4: one should care. Our son feels emotionally betrayed and in

1410
01:06:42,960 --> 01:06:45,480
Speaker 4: his words, jealous that his dad is living the life

1411
01:06:45,760 --> 01:06:48,240
Speaker 4: he never did with us and has thrown him to

1412
01:06:48,280 --> 01:06:51,400
Speaker 4: the curb in favor of family. Two point zero. All

1413
01:06:51,600 --> 01:06:57,280
Speaker 4: very fair. Yeah, have we confronted father about his decision?

1414
01:06:57,520 --> 01:06:59,360
Speaker 2: Okay, so he's not a minor anymore, so it's not

1415
01:06:59,360 --> 01:07:03,720
Speaker 2: about child's I'm wondering, you know, has he gone to college?

1416
01:07:05,120 --> 01:07:08,480
Speaker 2: Did he have like a college fund?

1417
01:07:09,040 --> 01:07:09,080
Speaker 3: What?

1418
01:07:09,360 --> 01:07:12,640
Speaker 2: What are things that you can reasonably ask the dad

1419
01:07:12,680 --> 01:07:14,280
Speaker 2: to be like, hey, you need to pitch in for this.

1420
01:07:14,360 --> 01:07:16,400
Speaker 4: I would just be so annoyed because it's like, so

1421
01:07:16,480 --> 01:07:20,720
Speaker 4: you abandon us emotionally and financially, then you find, you know,

1422
01:07:20,920 --> 01:07:23,600
Speaker 4: multiple new wives and partners, and then now you have

1423
01:07:23,680 --> 01:07:29,120
Speaker 4: this girlfriend that you've made in charge of your estate essentially,

1424
01:07:29,880 --> 01:07:34,920
Speaker 4: and now you're living it up. And I'm just on

1425
01:07:34,960 --> 01:07:38,640
Speaker 4: the outside and now I mean not like what is

1426
01:07:39,040 --> 01:07:41,840
Speaker 4: what is wrong with you? His dad refers to his

1427
01:07:42,240 --> 01:07:45,920
Speaker 4: new family and how awesome they are all the time.

1428
01:07:46,280 --> 01:07:49,800
Speaker 4: He says, the girlfriend's daughters are the daughters I never had,

1429
01:07:49,920 --> 01:07:52,480
Speaker 4: and I love them like my own. Our son is

1430
01:07:52,520 --> 01:07:55,600
Speaker 4: struggling with this shift in family dynamics. He feels replaced

1431
01:07:55,640 --> 01:07:58,200
Speaker 4: and hurt. My role is to support him and help

1432
01:07:58,280 --> 01:08:01,000
Speaker 4: him process these feelings and enforced that the love and

1433
01:08:01,040 --> 01:08:04,560
Speaker 4: care he received growing up are invaluable. We talk about

1434
01:08:04,560 --> 01:08:08,160
Speaker 4: setting boundaries, acknowledging reality without resentment, and focusing on what

1435
01:08:08,240 --> 01:08:12,480
Speaker 4: he can control, including his own life, business, and relationships.

1436
01:08:12,840 --> 01:08:16,040
Speaker 4: I encourage him to separate his dad's choices from his

1437
01:08:16,160 --> 01:08:20,000
Speaker 4: own self worth. Therapy or mentoring could also help him

1438
01:08:20,080 --> 01:08:23,280
Speaker 4: navigate these emotions and maintain perspective on family and loyalty.

1439
01:08:23,800 --> 01:08:26,360
Speaker 4: How can I help support and guide my son through this, Well,

1440
01:08:26,360 --> 01:08:28,280
Speaker 4: it sounds like he's got a great idea so far.

1441
01:08:28,400 --> 01:08:29,599
Speaker 2: Sounds like you're doing a great start.

1442
01:08:29,920 --> 01:08:32,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, off to a great start, and that is the

1443
01:08:32,080 --> 01:08:34,200
Speaker 4: end of that story. I think you know a therapist

1444
01:08:34,280 --> 01:08:35,639
Speaker 4: is probably in order there.

1445
01:08:35,800 --> 01:08:38,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, because you can't you can't control As you said,

1446
01:08:38,160 --> 01:08:41,240
Speaker 2: you can't control your ex All you can do is

1447
01:08:41,600 --> 01:08:44,679
Speaker 2: kind of realize who this guy is and not really

1448
01:08:44,720 --> 01:08:45,880
Speaker 2: depend on him going forward.

1449
01:08:45,960 --> 01:08:47,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'd have him write a letter to his dad

1450
01:08:47,960 --> 01:08:50,080
Speaker 4: and be like, you know what, you can write a

1451
01:08:50,200 --> 01:08:52,720
Speaker 4: letter with the expectation that this is the last, you know,

1452
01:08:53,000 --> 01:08:55,720
Speaker 4: the serious conversation you'll ever have with him, because you

1453
01:08:55,760 --> 01:08:56,799
Speaker 4: can't take him seriously.

1454
01:08:57,040 --> 01:09:00,800
Speaker 2: He's a let him know that, you know, if you

1455
01:09:00,880 --> 01:09:03,400
Speaker 2: want to cut me out of the family or not

1456
01:09:03,520 --> 01:09:05,519
Speaker 2: acknowledge me as your son, then I'm not going to

1457
01:09:05,520 --> 01:09:07,280
Speaker 2: acknowledge you as my dad and we're not going to

1458
01:09:07,360 --> 01:09:08,560
Speaker 2: have any relationship going for it.

1459
01:09:08,640 --> 01:09:10,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, we can just do I'll do exactly what you

1460
01:09:10,400 --> 01:09:13,680
Speaker 4: did when I was two, and I will just you know,

1461
01:09:14,439 --> 01:09:15,120
Speaker 4: abandon you.

1462
01:09:15,600 --> 01:09:16,799
Speaker 3: And that's the end of this story.