Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,
Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's
Speaker 1: tip is don't compare your actual life and your interior
Speaker 1: struggles to curated versions of other people's lives. Many people
Speaker 1: have struggles of some sort or another, but even if
Speaker 1: they don't, there is no point feeling bad about yourself
Speaker 1: in comparison. Today's tip was inspired by Anne LaMotte, author
Speaker 1: of the books Bird by Bird and Traveling Mercies, among
Speaker 1: many others. On the occasion of her sixty first birthday,
Speaker 1: she made a list of everything she knew for sure,
Speaker 1: and this list ultimately became a TED talk called Twelve
Speaker 1: Truths I've Learned from life and writing. One of those truths,
Speaker 1: she says, is that everyone is screwed up, broken, clingy,
Speaker 1: and scared. Even the people seem to have it most together.
Speaker 1: They are much more like you than you would believe.
Speaker 1: So try not to compare your insides to other people's outsides.
Speaker 1: It will only make you worse than you already are.
Speaker 1: There is definitely something to that comparing yourself to other
Speaker 1: people who seem better off is never going to make
Speaker 1: you happier. Unfortunately, social media makes it all too easy
Speaker 1: to compare your inside to other people's outsides. You know
Speaker 1: firsthand what your real life is like, and when you
Speaker 1: scroll through social media you see what other people's posts
Speaker 1: are about their lives. Seeing all the fabulous images and
Speaker 1: news they share can lead to feeling bad about yourself,
Speaker 1: like everyone else has more fun, more friends, more money,
Speaker 1: more harmonious and footagenic children, and more happy memories than you.
Speaker 1: That's one thing with celebrities, but even people we know
Speaker 1: can seem to have it all together. And when we
Speaker 1: focus on comparing ourselves to others, we're not actually connecting
Speaker 1: with them, so everyone ends up lonelier too. So what
Speaker 1: to do instead? Well to start, when you look at
Speaker 1: social media, or holiday cards, or the photos displayed on
Speaker 1: a friend or colleagues's desk, remind yourself that you are
Speaker 1: getting a curated view of the other person's life. You
Speaker 1: are not seeing the whole picture. It's perfectly fine to
Speaker 1: congratulate them on that one awesome moment, but realize that
Speaker 1: probably not all their moments are just like that. You
Speaker 1: can also suffer less from comparisons by putting in the
Speaker 1: time to connect directly with people, and I don't mean
Speaker 1: by just liking their posts. If you call your friend,
Speaker 1: you'll talk about that lovely photo she put hosted of
Speaker 1: her family hiking the Grand Canyon, for sure, and then
Speaker 1: you will get to hear all the funny stories about
Speaker 1: how one kid got carsick and threw up, and one
Speaker 1: kid sat down in the middle of the trail and
Speaker 1: refused to go further until she was promised an eminem
Speaker 1: every fifty yards. I don't subscribe to a theory that
Speaker 1: everyone is secretly miserable, but we don't need to assume
Speaker 1: everyone is miserable to feel better about our own bad moments.
Speaker 1: We simply need to realize that any moment is not
Speaker 1: the whole story. Most people have at least some ups
Speaker 1: and downs. Choosing to connect authentically with other people can
Speaker 1: make us feel better even if we are having struggles.
Speaker 1: So go with that and everyone will feel better in
Speaker 1: the meantime. This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's
Speaker 1: to making the most of our time. Thanks for listening
Speaker 1: to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback,
Speaker 1: you can reach me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com.
Speaker 1: Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts
Speaker 1: from iHeartMedia, please visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or
Speaker 1: wherever you listen to your favorite shows.