WEBVTT - Don't compare your inside to others' outsides

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,

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<v Speaker 1>This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

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<v Speaker 1>tip is don't compare your actual life and your interior

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<v Speaker 1>struggles to curated versions of other people's lives. Many people

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<v Speaker 1>have struggles of some sort or another, but even if

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<v Speaker 1>they don't, there is no point feeling bad about yourself

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<v Speaker 1>in comparison. Today's tip was inspired by Anne LaMotte, author

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<v Speaker 1>of the books Bird by Bird and Traveling Mercies, among

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<v Speaker 1>many others. On the occasion of her sixty first birthday,

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<v Speaker 1>she made a list of everything she knew for sure,

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<v Speaker 1>and this list ultimately became a TED talk called Twelve

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<v Speaker 1>Truths I've Learned from life and writing. One of those truths,

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<v Speaker 1>she says, is that everyone is screwed up, broken, clingy,

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<v Speaker 1>and scared. Even the people seem to have it most together.

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<v Speaker 1>They are much more like you than you would believe.

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<v Speaker 1>So try not to compare your insides to other people's outsides.

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<v Speaker 1>It will only make you worse than you already are.

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<v Speaker 1>There is definitely something to that comparing yourself to other

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<v Speaker 1>people who seem better off is never going to make

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<v Speaker 1>you happier. Unfortunately, social media makes it all too easy

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<v Speaker 1>to compare your inside to other people's outsides. You know

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<v Speaker 1>firsthand what your real life is like, and when you

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<v Speaker 1>scroll through social media you see what other people's posts

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<v Speaker 1>are about their lives. Seeing all the fabulous images and

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<v Speaker 1>news they share can lead to feeling bad about yourself,

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<v Speaker 1>like everyone else has more fun, more friends, more money,

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<v Speaker 1>more harmonious and footagenic children, and more happy memories than you.

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<v Speaker 1>That's one thing with celebrities, but even people we know

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<v Speaker 1>can seem to have it all together. And when we

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<v Speaker 1>focus on comparing ourselves to others, we're not actually connecting

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<v Speaker 1>with them, so everyone ends up lonelier too. So what

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<v Speaker 1>to do instead? Well to start, when you look at

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<v Speaker 1>social media, or holiday cards, or the photos displayed on

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<v Speaker 1>a friend or colleagues's desk, remind yourself that you are

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<v Speaker 1>getting a curated view of the other person's life. You

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<v Speaker 1>are not seeing the whole picture. It's perfectly fine to

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<v Speaker 1>congratulate them on that one awesome moment, but realize that

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<v Speaker 1>probably not all their moments are just like that. You

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<v Speaker 1>can also suffer less from comparisons by putting in the

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<v Speaker 1>time to connect directly with people, and I don't mean

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<v Speaker 1>by just liking their posts. If you call your friend,

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<v Speaker 1>you'll talk about that lovely photo she put hosted of

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<v Speaker 1>her family hiking the Grand Canyon, for sure, and then

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<v Speaker 1>you will get to hear all the funny stories about

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<v Speaker 1>how one kid got carsick and threw up, and one

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<v Speaker 1>kid sat down in the middle of the trail and

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<v Speaker 1>refused to go further until she was promised an eminem

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<v Speaker 1>every fifty yards. I don't subscribe to a theory that

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<v Speaker 1>everyone is secretly miserable, but we don't need to assume

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<v Speaker 1>everyone is miserable to feel better about our own bad moments.

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<v Speaker 1>We simply need to realize that any moment is not

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<v Speaker 1>the whole story. Most people have at least some ups

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<v Speaker 1>and downs. Choosing to connect authentically with other people can

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<v Speaker 1>make us feel better even if we are having struggles.

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<v Speaker 1>So go with that and everyone will feel better in

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<v Speaker 1>the meantime. This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's

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<v Speaker 1>to making the most of our time. Thanks for listening

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<v Speaker 1>to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback,

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<v Speaker 1>you can reach me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com.

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<v Speaker 1>Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts

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