1 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:09,360 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning, 2 00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:16,560 Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's 3 00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:21,520 Speaker 1: tip is don't compare your actual life and your interior 4 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:27,760 Speaker 1: struggles to curated versions of other people's lives. Many people 5 00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:31,040 Speaker 1: have struggles of some sort or another, but even if 6 00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:34,920 Speaker 1: they don't, there is no point feeling bad about yourself 7 00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:41,560 Speaker 1: in comparison. Today's tip was inspired by Anne LaMotte, author 8 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:44,720 Speaker 1: of the books Bird by Bird and Traveling Mercies, among 9 00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:48,680 Speaker 1: many others. On the occasion of her sixty first birthday, 10 00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:51,680 Speaker 1: she made a list of everything she knew for sure, 11 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:56,600 Speaker 1: and this list ultimately became a TED talk called Twelve 12 00:00:56,680 --> 00:01:01,200 Speaker 1: Truths I've Learned from life and writing. One of those truths, 13 00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:05,160 Speaker 1: she says, is that everyone is screwed up, broken, clingy, 14 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:09,160 Speaker 1: and scared. Even the people seem to have it most together. 15 00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:13,360 Speaker 1: They are much more like you than you would believe. 16 00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:18,759 Speaker 1: So try not to compare your insides to other people's outsides. 17 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:22,920 Speaker 1: It will only make you worse than you already are. 18 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:28,440 Speaker 1: There is definitely something to that comparing yourself to other 19 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:31,800 Speaker 1: people who seem better off is never going to make 20 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:36,000 Speaker 1: you happier. Unfortunately, social media makes it all too easy 21 00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:39,800 Speaker 1: to compare your inside to other people's outsides. You know 22 00:01:39,959 --> 00:01:43,080 Speaker 1: firsthand what your real life is like, and when you 23 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:46,360 Speaker 1: scroll through social media you see what other people's posts 24 00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:50,280 Speaker 1: are about their lives. Seeing all the fabulous images and 25 00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:53,480 Speaker 1: news they share can lead to feeling bad about yourself, 26 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:57,720 Speaker 1: like everyone else has more fun, more friends, more money, 27 00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:02,880 Speaker 1: more harmonious and footagenic children, and more happy memories than you. 28 00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:07,240 Speaker 1: That's one thing with celebrities, but even people we know 29 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:10,480 Speaker 1: can seem to have it all together. And when we 30 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:13,840 Speaker 1: focus on comparing ourselves to others, we're not actually connecting 31 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:19,160 Speaker 1: with them, so everyone ends up lonelier too. So what 32 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:23,240 Speaker 1: to do instead? Well to start, when you look at 33 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:26,400 Speaker 1: social media, or holiday cards, or the photos displayed on 34 00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:29,880 Speaker 1: a friend or colleagues's desk, remind yourself that you are 35 00:02:29,919 --> 00:02:33,880 Speaker 1: getting a curated view of the other person's life. You 36 00:02:33,919 --> 00:02:37,320 Speaker 1: are not seeing the whole picture. It's perfectly fine to 37 00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:41,320 Speaker 1: congratulate them on that one awesome moment, but realize that 38 00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:46,200 Speaker 1: probably not all their moments are just like that. You 39 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:49,080 Speaker 1: can also suffer less from comparisons by putting in the 40 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:53,560 Speaker 1: time to connect directly with people, and I don't mean 41 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:57,760 Speaker 1: by just liking their posts. If you call your friend, 42 00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:00,480 Speaker 1: you'll talk about that lovely photo she put hosted of 43 00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:04,880 Speaker 1: her family hiking the Grand Canyon, for sure, and then 44 00:03:04,919 --> 00:03:07,080 Speaker 1: you will get to hear all the funny stories about 45 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:11,000 Speaker 1: how one kid got carsick and threw up, and one 46 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:12,880 Speaker 1: kid sat down in the middle of the trail and 47 00:03:12,919 --> 00:03:16,320 Speaker 1: refused to go further until she was promised an eminem 48 00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:21,280 Speaker 1: every fifty yards. I don't subscribe to a theory that 49 00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:24,960 Speaker 1: everyone is secretly miserable, but we don't need to assume 50 00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:28,639 Speaker 1: everyone is miserable to feel better about our own bad moments. 51 00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:31,840 Speaker 1: We simply need to realize that any moment is not 52 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:35,920 Speaker 1: the whole story. Most people have at least some ups 53 00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:40,200 Speaker 1: and downs. Choosing to connect authentically with other people can 54 00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:42,920 Speaker 1: make us feel better even if we are having struggles. 55 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:49,480 Speaker 1: So go with that and everyone will feel better in 56 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:54,600 Speaker 1: the meantime. This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's 57 00:03:54,680 --> 00:04:04,200 Speaker 1: to making the most of our time. Thanks for listening 58 00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:08,680 Speaker 1: to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, 59 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:18,360 Speaker 1: you can reach me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. 60 00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:22,520 Speaker 1: Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts 61 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:27,120 Speaker 1: from iHeartMedia, please visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or 62 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:29,000 Speaker 1: wherever you listen to your favorite shows.