WEBVTT - #215 How can THIS Be A Real Question? 0:00:00.400 --> 0:00:07.960 You will not ever ever regret taking the time away 0:00:08.000 --> 0:00:15.200 from your career and putting it into your baby boy. 0:00:22.040 --> 0:00:25.599 What's up everybody, Welcome back to the podcast. I love 0:00:25.840 --> 0:00:28.600 doing this because it's different than anything else I do 0:00:28.720 --> 0:00:31.600 during the day. I don't prepare at all for what 0:00:31.680 --> 0:00:34.720 I'm about to do. I'm answering your questions. In fact, 0:00:34.720 --> 0:00:37.200 if you have a question for me, email me at 0:00:37.440 --> 0:00:42.839 podcast at grangersmith dot com, and then I'll take these 0:00:43.280 --> 0:00:46.880 walk through it randomly like we're just two friends talking 0:00:46.880 --> 0:00:49.760 about something that you want to talk about. Could be 0:00:50.120 --> 0:00:53.200 something deep about your family or a relationship or a job, 0:00:53.280 --> 0:00:57.560 or it just could be something really simple. Either way, 0:00:57.720 --> 0:01:01.720 email me once again podcast at grangersmith dot com. We'll 0:01:01.760 --> 0:01:03.960 throw it in the queue and we'll get to it 0:01:04.000 --> 0:01:06.080 like we're sitting around a campfire. We're gonna jump it 0:01:06.160 --> 0:01:09.479 right into it right now. The first question comes from anonymous. 0:01:09.480 --> 0:01:11.640 If you have a question for me that you want 0:01:11.680 --> 0:01:13.600 to be anonymous, make sure you include that because you 0:01:13.640 --> 0:01:16.199 know that I'll just roll right through it if not. Also, 0:01:16.680 --> 0:01:19.360 my only request for you is well two requests really. 0:01:19.400 --> 0:01:23.160 Don't send the same email twice, and don't make it 0:01:23.200 --> 0:01:25.759 longer than about a phone length. It makes it much 0:01:25.760 --> 0:01:28.520 easier to read and to sort through if it's about 0:01:29.120 --> 0:01:32.440 if your issue is about a phone length. Okay. The 0:01:32.440 --> 0:01:34.920 first one is from Anonymous, and it says, Hey Granger, 0:01:35.280 --> 0:01:37.959 about a month ago, my husband and I got baptized 0:01:38.240 --> 0:01:41.600 and joined a church that's not my parents' church. We 0:01:41.720 --> 0:01:44.120 prayed about it for a long time and have peace 0:01:44.160 --> 0:01:47.800 with this. This is the church for us. The churches 0:01:47.840 --> 0:01:51.440 are very similar. We just felt more comfortable here. But 0:01:51.640 --> 0:01:54.160 since we told our parents we're going to join there 0:01:54.400 --> 0:01:59.600 and get baptized, the relationship is just ruined. It was 0:02:00.080 --> 0:02:02.360 even so bad that my parents didn't even show up 0:02:02.360 --> 0:02:05.720 at our baptism. They barely talk to us anymore, and 0:02:05.760 --> 0:02:09.480 there's tension whenever we are together. It hurts me so much. 0:02:09.840 --> 0:02:12.519 I don't understand how someone could be upset at us 0:02:12.840 --> 0:02:16.880 that we found God and got baptized. How can we 0:02:16.960 --> 0:02:19.200 try to get along with them or deal with this 0:02:19.280 --> 0:02:23.600 hurt we've been We have tried talking with them, but 0:02:23.720 --> 0:02:26.480 this hasn't helped. My dad thinks that their church is 0:02:26.560 --> 0:02:29.400 the only church that's right and goes to heaven, but 0:02:29.480 --> 0:02:33.120 that's not right either. Okay, Anonymous, thanks for the question 0:02:33.360 --> 0:02:37.399 and I'm sorry that this is the boat that you're 0:02:37.440 --> 0:02:44.760 in right now. You know, Jesus promised that he would come, 0:02:45.400 --> 0:02:51.240 and that separates that families would separate in knowing him. 0:02:52.280 --> 0:02:56.160 It's unfortunate that it happens this way in our earthly time, 0:02:56.320 --> 0:03:03.200 that we see families split apart by this. But let's 0:03:03.280 --> 0:03:05.120 dive into a little bit of what so we could 0:03:05.360 --> 0:03:09.840 help understand the division. Let's dive into your question. And 0:03:09.880 --> 0:03:12.960 I want to. I want to. I want to be 0:03:13.040 --> 0:03:15.880 able to dissect this as much as I actually know 0:03:16.000 --> 0:03:19.720 the situation, because I don't know the denominations, I don't 0:03:19.760 --> 0:03:23.640 know the churches. I don't know if you got baptized before. 0:03:23.800 --> 0:03:25.560 Now this is a second time where if you never 0:03:25.560 --> 0:03:28.520 got baptized in why you never got baptized in your parents' church, 0:03:28.560 --> 0:03:30.679 and and now you're there's a lot of unknowns here. 0:03:31.600 --> 0:03:33.680 So I'm gonna I'm gonna do my best dealing with 0:03:34.080 --> 0:03:38.320 a lot of unknowns. The first thing I know is 0:03:42.200 --> 0:03:46.960 your parents in your church. Your parents' church and your church. 0:03:47.040 --> 0:03:51.480 Although you say they are similar, very similar, you say, 0:03:52.320 --> 0:03:54.960 I don't think that that I don't think that's right. 0:03:56.280 --> 0:04:00.600 I don't I don't think they can be very similar 0:04:01.080 --> 0:04:03.840 and this happened. I think there's something more to it, 0:04:04.320 --> 0:04:06.920 and I think that's going to cause my answer to 0:04:06.920 --> 0:04:09.680 be a little iffy here, because I feel like if 0:04:09.720 --> 0:04:12.240 they were very similar, if they were like minded churches, 0:04:12.280 --> 0:04:16.839 they were very similar church, then your church would affirm 0:04:16.920 --> 0:04:19.479 that the old church, and the old church would affirm 0:04:19.480 --> 0:04:20.800 the new church and be like, oh, yeah, down the 0:04:20.839 --> 0:04:23.960 street that so and so, Yeah, they are just like 0:04:24.000 --> 0:04:27.760 we are. That's obviously not the case here. And your 0:04:27.800 --> 0:04:34.200 parents are showing that, your parents not showing up at 0:04:34.200 --> 0:04:37.359 your baptism. That's another thing. The question I have is 0:04:38.839 --> 0:04:44.680 were you converted after you left your parents' church? Where 0:04:44.680 --> 0:04:49.279 you converted later in life through the conversion, which, okay, 0:04:49.320 --> 0:04:51.440 here we go something else. Let me just throw a 0:04:51.480 --> 0:04:54.440 spike in this right now. There was a great book 0:04:54.720 --> 0:04:58.760 called Conversion. It's a nine marks book. It's called Conversion. 0:05:00.480 --> 0:05:02.720 It's a very short book and if anyone wants to 0:05:02.760 --> 0:05:07.160 know more about conversion, becoming a Christian, what it means 0:05:07.600 --> 0:05:10.440 to die and be reborn, this is a great, just 0:05:10.600 --> 0:05:13.480 little book to jump into. So side note, throw a 0:05:13.520 --> 0:05:16.800 spike in it. Take that for what you will. Conversion, 0:05:17.000 --> 0:05:21.080 it's what it's called the Nine Marks book, And so 0:05:21.240 --> 0:05:24.200 were you converted after you left your parents church? That's 0:05:24.279 --> 0:05:28.599 another question I have. And then this whole they barely 0:05:28.640 --> 0:05:32.640 talk to you anymore, and there's tension whenever you're together. 0:05:32.880 --> 0:05:37.839 That's weird, And I'm putting that on the parents, regardless 0:05:37.839 --> 0:05:41.680 of this church and what they believe, and regardless of 0:05:41.839 --> 0:05:44.000 if they did not show up at the baptism, the 0:05:44.040 --> 0:05:46.600 fact that they don't talk to you is weird, and 0:05:46.640 --> 0:05:51.240 that's a strike against them. And then you say, I 0:05:51.279 --> 0:05:53.760 don't understand how someone could be upset that we found 0:05:53.800 --> 0:05:58.159 God and got baptized. You could if it was a 0:05:58.200 --> 0:06:02.920 bad church, and if it was a weird if it's 0:06:02.960 --> 0:06:06.479 a false church and a false baptism, then you could 0:06:06.520 --> 0:06:09.080 be upset. But that still wouldn't account for the parents 0:06:09.200 --> 0:06:11.680 not talking to you. So that's kind of like a 0:06:11.720 --> 0:06:15.839 strike and either mark here, this is a difficult question 0:06:15.960 --> 0:06:18.880 without me knowing anything else. And then you say, how 0:06:18.920 --> 0:06:22.239 can we get along with them or deal with this hurt? 0:06:22.440 --> 0:06:26.440 We've tried talking to them, but that hasn't helped to that. 0:06:26.640 --> 0:06:32.719 I say, if you had a feeling this would happen, 0:06:35.320 --> 0:06:39.520 was it necessary to leave the parents church to make 0:06:39.560 --> 0:06:42.400 you feel more comfortable. That's the word you use. We 0:06:42.800 --> 0:06:45.640 feel more comfortable at the other church, the new church. 0:06:46.720 --> 0:06:51.120 Was that necessary with knowing that now you're going to 0:06:51.200 --> 0:06:54.320 make your life uncomfortable because of the way your parents feel. 0:06:54.720 --> 0:06:57.279 I mean surely that when you visited the new church, 0:06:57.360 --> 0:07:00.600 your parents showed you like, hey, we don't with that, 0:07:01.200 --> 0:07:02.599 and we're not going to talk to you anymore if 0:07:02.640 --> 0:07:04.240 you do. Like, surely you had an idea that this 0:07:04.400 --> 0:07:07.240 was coming, and yet you chose the new church because 0:07:07.279 --> 0:07:12.080 you felt more comfortable and major a whole personal life uncomfortable. 0:07:13.120 --> 0:07:16.240 That's weird. See, there's a lot of weirdness going on here. 0:07:16.920 --> 0:07:20.520 And then the very last thing that you said was no, 0:07:20.640 --> 0:07:24.640 the second yeah, last thing he said, my dad thinks 0:07:24.760 --> 0:07:27.160 that their church is the only church that's right and 0:07:27.200 --> 0:07:30.280 goes to heaven. But that's not right either. That's definitely 0:07:30.320 --> 0:07:36.480 a strike on dad. And I will say each time 0:07:36.760 --> 0:07:39.160 this is just a side note. You capitalized church with 0:07:39.200 --> 0:07:43.440 a capital C, and there is only one capital C 0:07:43.640 --> 0:07:46.400 church and that's that is the Church of God, and 0:07:46.480 --> 0:07:49.160 that is every church you're talking about is a lower 0:07:49.160 --> 0:07:52.440 case see. That is a community church, a local church. 0:07:52.960 --> 0:07:56.000 So it's important to realize that too. Like Dad's right 0:07:56.080 --> 0:07:58.560 that the capital C church is the only way to 0:07:58.640 --> 0:08:01.760 go to heaven, Like he's about that, but he's not 0:08:01.800 --> 0:08:04.720 talking in terms of capital C church. He's talking lower 0:08:04.760 --> 0:08:08.000 case C. So there's a lot of unknowns here. And 0:08:08.040 --> 0:08:11.320 because I don't know anything about this besides the fact 0:08:11.320 --> 0:08:14.800 that it's weird, and there's besides the fact that I 0:08:14.880 --> 0:08:17.640 know there are things that I don't know. Because of that, 0:08:17.840 --> 0:08:21.520 I say, love them, because your parents they are your parents. 0:08:21.960 --> 0:08:27.000 Love them, forgive them, pour into them, be selfless toward them, 0:08:27.840 --> 0:08:31.160 don't judge them, regardless of if you feel all of 0:08:31.160 --> 0:08:34.920 that coming at you, you feel judged, you feel not respected, 0:08:34.960 --> 0:08:40.800 you feel not honored as kids. Regardless of that, forgive them, 0:08:41.240 --> 0:08:44.680 love them, pour into them, continue to try to cultivate 0:08:44.720 --> 0:08:48.240 a relationship, continue to have a good conversation about the 0:08:48.280 --> 0:08:52.400 lower case C church. Hey, Dad, could we walk through 0:08:52.800 --> 0:08:55.720 maybe some of the differences that you see. What are 0:08:55.760 --> 0:08:57.720 the differences, Dad, that you see in this new church, 0:08:57.760 --> 0:09:00.240 because we feel like it's very similar. What are the 0:09:00.280 --> 0:09:03.400 differences you see in our church and your church? And 0:09:03.440 --> 0:09:05.880 why do you think that this should bring tension to 0:09:05.920 --> 0:09:07.960 our family? And why do you think that your church 0:09:08.040 --> 0:09:11.079 is the only one that goes to heaven. And let's 0:09:11.120 --> 0:09:15.760 try politely and nicely to pin him down on these 0:09:15.960 --> 0:09:19.680 doctrinal issues, like let's get him to speak specifically about 0:09:19.920 --> 0:09:22.560 here's what the Bible says, and here's what your church 0:09:22.640 --> 0:09:25.719 is going against with what this Bible says. Right, your 0:09:25.720 --> 0:09:28.320 Bible says this, and our church is going your church 0:09:28.360 --> 0:09:30.880 is going against it, and our church over here is 0:09:31.200 --> 0:09:34.440 affirming it. And here is a couple of links to 0:09:34.520 --> 0:09:37.400 some YouTube sermons that our pastor did that affirms this, 0:09:37.679 --> 0:09:40.000 and here's a couple of links to your church that 0:09:40.200 --> 0:09:44.960 denies this. Let's get there, because if you can get there, 0:09:45.040 --> 0:09:48.520 then you can go, wow, Dad, you were right here. 0:09:48.559 --> 0:09:52.120 We come. We're coming to your church. Or maybe your 0:09:52.200 --> 0:09:56.160 dad will go Okay, that's like a third tier issue, 0:09:56.440 --> 0:09:59.320 you guys, I understand where you're coming from. Maybe just 0:09:59.440 --> 0:10:04.600 maybe through prayer and through kindness and through you guys 0:10:04.640 --> 0:10:07.679 just pouring into them because they are your parents, maybe 0:10:07.679 --> 0:10:15.079 this could be resolved that way. Next question is from Jenna. 0:10:15.200 --> 0:10:17.880 It says, Hey, Granger, I love the godly of ice 0:10:17.920 --> 0:10:19.640 and wisdom that you bring to each and every question. 0:10:19.800 --> 0:10:22.640 I'm sure I'm one of those questions that you probably 0:10:22.679 --> 0:10:25.000 roll your eyes because you hear it a lot. Lol. 0:10:25.480 --> 0:10:28.360 I'm thirty years old and desperately desired to be married 0:10:28.400 --> 0:10:30.920 and have a family. I'm very active in my church, 0:10:31.280 --> 0:10:33.800 but live in a very small town. I have tried 0:10:33.880 --> 0:10:37.599 online dating, and all that that does is bring me anxiety. 0:10:38.160 --> 0:10:40.000 I know that God is sovereign that he wants me 0:10:40.040 --> 0:10:42.720 to be single. I know that God is sovereign, and 0:10:42.840 --> 0:10:45.360 if he wants me to be single forever, then so 0:10:45.480 --> 0:10:48.880 be it. I am constantly fighting this battle of knowing 0:10:48.920 --> 0:10:53.080 that but still desiring a husband and kids. I guess 0:10:53.280 --> 0:10:57.080 my question is how would you tell me to balance 0:10:57.360 --> 0:11:00.560 being content in my stage of life has me in 0:11:00.800 --> 0:11:04.240 while also being proactive and searching for a spouse. Also, 0:11:04.320 --> 0:11:06.760 if you know any godly singing golden men, I'm not 0:11:06.800 --> 0:11:09.480 opposed to long distance dating. Thank you for your podcasting 0:11:09.480 --> 0:11:12.320 your time. I've never done anything like this before, so 0:11:12.360 --> 0:11:15.679 it's a little awkward for me. Yee, okay, Jenna. If 0:11:15.679 --> 0:11:18.160 you've never never emailed a podcast like this or ask 0:11:18.200 --> 0:11:22.079 a question, ask a question, thank you. It's that's a 0:11:22.120 --> 0:11:25.240 big step. Maybe we could start there if it was. 0:11:25.640 --> 0:11:27.800 If this is something that you feel awkward, about and 0:11:27.880 --> 0:11:31.920 uncomfortable because you've never been vulnerable enough to reach out 0:11:31.960 --> 0:11:33.839 to someone like this and tell them, you know, kind 0:11:33.880 --> 0:11:36.840 of throw your laundry, your dirty laundry out there. Hey, 0:11:36.920 --> 0:11:41.559 maybe that's a good place to start being vulnerable. Admitting 0:11:41.600 --> 0:11:44.160 that there is things that you don't know. That's always 0:11:44.200 --> 0:11:46.600 a huge thing. Now, that's the thing I battle with, 0:11:46.679 --> 0:11:48.880 you know. I want to always be able to keep 0:11:48.880 --> 0:11:54.240 my ears open and to seek understanding, right because there 0:11:54.240 --> 0:11:56.840 were the majority of things in this world I do 0:11:56.920 --> 0:12:00.920 not know. I know a sliver of things. So that's great. 0:12:01.559 --> 0:12:05.640 That's great that you've opened yourself up like this, and 0:12:05.640 --> 0:12:07.120 I think you're in the right place. First of all, 0:12:07.200 --> 0:12:13.400 thirty years old super young. You're super young. I know 0:12:13.440 --> 0:12:16.040 the world wants to tell you that you're you're of 0:12:16.080 --> 0:12:19.880 the right age to get married, Jenna, but there is 0:12:19.960 --> 0:12:22.760 no you're not putting it off. It's not like it's 0:12:22.760 --> 0:12:24.840 not like you're saying, I'm thirty and I'm putting it 0:12:24.880 --> 0:12:27.719 off because I'm I just want to stay single. You're 0:12:27.760 --> 0:12:30.000 not doing that. You're saying, look, I'm open for all options, 0:12:30.200 --> 0:12:34.200 and I'm realizing that my biological clock is at a 0:12:34.240 --> 0:12:37.559 good place. So there you go, but don't listen to 0:12:37.640 --> 0:12:40.000 the world saying there is a deadline you need to 0:12:40.040 --> 0:12:43.640 be on because you do not very active in church. Good, 0:12:43.679 --> 0:12:45.800 you live in a very small town. Good. If you 0:12:45.920 --> 0:12:49.760 tried online dating but that brings you anxiety. Good, I 0:12:49.800 --> 0:12:53.160 totally agree. I could see that. And then you say this, 0:12:53.520 --> 0:12:55.440 I know that God is sovereign and he wants me. 0:12:55.559 --> 0:12:57.280 If he wants me to be single forever, then so 0:12:57.360 --> 0:13:03.360 be it. Okay, But here you go, I am constantly 0:13:03.400 --> 0:13:06.319 fighting this battle of knowing that but still desiring a 0:13:06.400 --> 0:13:08.520 husband and kids. I get it. I get it because 0:13:08.559 --> 0:13:11.560 you know why. Because you're human. You know that God 0:13:11.640 --> 0:13:14.640 is sovereign. You know that he has a plan for you. 0:13:14.640 --> 0:13:16.440 You know that he has a purpose for you. You 0:13:16.480 --> 0:13:19.040 know that it's already written. You know you're walking in 0:13:19.120 --> 0:13:23.280 it right now. But here's the big butt. You say, 0:13:24.200 --> 0:13:27.640 but I still desire a husband and kids. I would 0:13:27.640 --> 0:13:30.000 bring that to God. You could live in the Psalms 0:13:30.000 --> 0:13:33.640 with this kind of thought. You could live and meditate 0:13:33.679 --> 0:13:35.920 in the Psalms. I would go to Psalm one and 0:13:35.960 --> 0:13:38.720 just start working my way down. There's one hundred and 0:13:38.720 --> 0:13:40.880 fifty of them. It'll take you a long time, but 0:13:40.960 --> 0:13:44.120 you could pray through the Psalms or pray through the Bible. 0:13:44.120 --> 0:13:46.800 If y'all ever done that, it's a great way to 0:13:46.880 --> 0:13:49.720 kind of cultivate your prayer life. Go through the Psalms. 0:13:50.000 --> 0:13:51.880 We'll start there. You could do any of it. Start 0:13:51.920 --> 0:13:54.400 there in the Psalms and read a few lines of 0:13:54.440 --> 0:13:57.120 it and pray through it as though you're praying that 0:13:57.240 --> 0:14:01.679 same prayer. Great exercise, and what you'll see is you'll 0:14:01.720 --> 0:14:04.440 see the same attitude throughout the Psalms. You'll see God, 0:14:04.440 --> 0:14:07.520 I know your sovereign, I know you were good. I 0:14:07.559 --> 0:14:09.920 know you have a purpose. But also you know my heart. 0:14:10.640 --> 0:14:14.680 You know I desire a husband and kids, And I 0:14:14.760 --> 0:14:17.080 know that if I'm seeking you with all my heart, 0:14:17.080 --> 0:14:19.920 if I'm delighting in you, you will give me the 0:14:19.920 --> 0:14:23.160 desires of my heart. Not that He will give you 0:14:23.240 --> 0:14:26.280 what you want, but he will give you the once. 0:14:26.520 --> 0:14:30.080 He will cultivate new desires within you and start to 0:14:30.200 --> 0:14:33.600 kind of suppress old desires. If you're seeking him. If 0:14:33.640 --> 0:14:35.960 your prayer life is healthy, if you have a good 0:14:36.000 --> 0:14:39.200 devotional reading time every morning with your Word, your personal 0:14:39.280 --> 0:14:42.440 time in the Bible, you have no hidden, unrepentant sin 0:14:42.520 --> 0:14:45.320 floating around, and you have wise counsel, which is your church. 0:14:45.360 --> 0:14:47.960 You're in your church, you're involved in your church. At 0:14:47.960 --> 0:14:50.760 that point, you start doing what you want because you 0:14:50.800 --> 0:14:54.720 could be pretty sure that God is now guiding your desires. 0:14:55.480 --> 0:14:57.880 You're delighting in him. He's giving you the desires of 0:14:57.920 --> 0:15:00.680 your heart. That's what that means. So it sounds like 0:15:00.720 --> 0:15:03.520 you're kind of in this world right now, and so 0:15:03.720 --> 0:15:07.480 you're fighting against it, going I'm doing this, I want this, 0:15:07.720 --> 0:15:10.720 and I'm not seeing anything from it. So this is 0:15:10.720 --> 0:15:16.880 where I say, rest, be still and wait for the Lord. 0:15:18.160 --> 0:15:23.080 Wait for the Lord. Be still, Rest in this God, 0:15:23.120 --> 0:15:26.240 your sovereign God. I want a husband, I want a family, 0:15:26.280 --> 0:15:30.760 I want kids. So for I will wait for you. 0:15:31.480 --> 0:15:34.720 Right then, I will wait for you. I will rest 0:15:35.240 --> 0:15:39.080 in this knowledge of your sovereignty, of your providence, of 0:15:39.120 --> 0:15:42.400 your kingship. You are on the throne, and I will 0:15:42.440 --> 0:15:44.840 take this desire that I have and know that it 0:15:44.880 --> 0:15:46.960 has to be from you, because I'm seeking you, and 0:15:47.040 --> 0:15:49.760 yet I don't have it yet. And so there's the tension. 0:15:50.040 --> 0:15:53.120 Where the tension is between God is sovereign and I 0:15:53.160 --> 0:15:57.480 have a desire. The tension in between that is wait 0:15:58.320 --> 0:16:02.800 for the Lord. Right, That's what we do. It's not easy, 0:16:03.680 --> 0:16:06.040 but this is where I say. You meditate through the Psalms, 0:16:06.400 --> 0:16:09.400 pray through the Psalms, and you'll find the Psalmist over 0:16:09.560 --> 0:16:15.040 and over again, waiting and resting, kind of suppressing that 0:16:15.120 --> 0:16:20.600 anxiety and that stress went with the waiting. This is 0:16:20.600 --> 0:16:25.800 what you do, and you will, I'm sure, have clarity 0:16:25.840 --> 0:16:32.880 in this as time goes by and you continue this pattern, praying, resting, understanding, believing, 0:16:33.400 --> 0:16:36.200 knowing who he is, knowing that he's good, knowing that 0:16:36.240 --> 0:16:41.160 he's sovereign, resting in that, still attending church and going 0:16:41.160 --> 0:16:45.320 through whatever activities you're doing in your local church, serving them, 0:16:45.440 --> 0:16:48.960 serving others, serving your friends, and then boom, one day, 0:16:49.760 --> 0:16:54.640 there he is the husband. There he suddenly appears. It's 0:16:54.800 --> 0:16:59.440 crazy how that happens. But I see this happening with 0:16:59.560 --> 0:17:04.119 you either way, by resting and waiting, I see either way, 0:17:04.160 --> 0:17:08.840 either single or not. I see clarity in that in 0:17:08.920 --> 0:17:11.440 your waiting. So if anyone wants to get a hold 0:17:11.480 --> 0:17:13.280 of me, you're listening to the podcast right now, and 0:17:13.320 --> 0:17:16.000 you think, man, I would love for Granger to shoot 0:17:16.040 --> 0:17:18.720 me a text or send me a video message on 0:17:18.760 --> 0:17:21.240 something else, on some other subject, maybe a little pick 0:17:21.280 --> 0:17:23.159 me up. Maybe I wish Granger would give me a 0:17:23.160 --> 0:17:26.320 happy birthday wish. Or my brother's a huge fan he 0:17:26.359 --> 0:17:29.719 could use a happy birthday. Maybe with the holidays coming up, 0:17:29.720 --> 0:17:32.919 you're thinking, what do I get my kid? What do 0:17:33.000 --> 0:17:34.960 I get my nephew? What do I get my brother 0:17:35.080 --> 0:17:37.840 or my wife? What do I What kind of present 0:17:37.880 --> 0:17:40.760 do I get them? They already have what they need. Well, 0:17:41.280 --> 0:17:44.040 how about a gift of cameo And what that is 0:17:44.040 --> 0:17:46.560 is you got a cameo dot com slash Granger Smith 0:17:46.840 --> 0:17:49.800 and you could find me on there and you just say, Hey, Granger, 0:17:50.080 --> 0:17:52.240 I want you to send a message to my wife 0:17:52.320 --> 0:17:56.119 and just say happy birthday or Merry Christmas, whatever you 0:17:56.119 --> 0:17:57.879 want me to say. It's right there in the app 0:17:57.880 --> 0:18:00.680 in the form. It's super easy. I get that notification 0:18:00.720 --> 0:18:03.760 on my phone, I take it, do the selfie cam 0:18:04.160 --> 0:18:06.639 and then send it right back to you. Super easy. 0:18:06.720 --> 0:18:10.640 Cameo dot com slash Grangersmith. That's c ameo dot com. 0:18:10.760 --> 0:18:12.760 Or you can look for me on the cameo app 0:18:13.040 --> 0:18:17.239 Granger Smith. All right, Next question comes from anonymous and 0:18:17.240 --> 0:18:20.320 it says, Hey, Granger, I recently met a woman I 0:18:20.359 --> 0:18:24.200 feel very good in her presence. She appreciates every little 0:18:24.280 --> 0:18:27.240 thing I do, and she's very energetic, thankful, and also 0:18:27.440 --> 0:18:31.280 very direct. It seems we are soulmates. In our conversation, 0:18:31.720 --> 0:18:36.919 I heard she is seven years older. In our conference, 0:18:37.040 --> 0:18:39.560 let me read that again. In our conversations, I heard 0:18:39.920 --> 0:18:42.200 she is seven years older. It's kind of an odd 0:18:42.200 --> 0:18:44.879 way to say that. Now. I have some concerns that 0:18:44.920 --> 0:18:47.840 this age difference, especially me as a younger man, could 0:18:47.960 --> 0:18:51.080 lead into problems in a potential marriage. On the other hand, 0:18:51.280 --> 0:18:53.720 many people say it can work perfectly if you are 0:18:53.760 --> 0:18:56.479 really connected. I would appreciate to hear your thoughts on 0:18:56.480 --> 0:19:01.160 this topic. Man. Great question, and I was really taken 0:19:01.240 --> 0:19:04.639 back by the way that you said in our conversations, 0:19:04.680 --> 0:19:07.119 I heard she is seven years older. It's like, I 0:19:07.119 --> 0:19:09.680 feel like you could have said, she told me she's 0:19:09.680 --> 0:19:11.600 seven years older. She told me her birthday, and I 0:19:11.640 --> 0:19:15.160 realized that was seven years older. But it's an interesting 0:19:15.200 --> 0:19:18.880 way that you worded it in our conversations. I heard 0:19:19.280 --> 0:19:21.600 as if you were passive in that situation, like you 0:19:22.240 --> 0:19:24.320 didn't comment on that, you just let it kind of 0:19:24.320 --> 0:19:29.000 go okay. Thanks for the email, and I appreciate your brother. 0:19:29.480 --> 0:19:35.080 I'm assuming. Once again, this is another one of these 0:19:35.119 --> 0:19:38.760 examples of me just not knowing the context here. But 0:19:38.840 --> 0:19:43.960 I'm assuming let's say you are twenty five and she's 0:19:44.080 --> 0:19:48.240 thirty two, or let's say you're twenty two and she's 0:19:48.400 --> 0:20:00.760 thirty or twenty nine. Right, I see this. I feel 0:20:00.800 --> 0:20:02.960 you Let me dive into something before I get into that, 0:20:03.040 --> 0:20:06.240 before I get into the age difference. Let me let 0:20:06.320 --> 0:20:10.119 me dive into this idea of soulmate, because you know, 0:20:10.560 --> 0:20:14.720 you know on this podcast, reject that word soulmate. That's 0:20:14.760 --> 0:20:18.600 a that's an old pagan idea that you have half 0:20:18.600 --> 0:20:21.639 a soul and there is another half of your soul 0:20:21.760 --> 0:20:24.639 out there and it combines and it creates one and 0:20:24.720 --> 0:20:27.880 you your soul becomes one finally and they are your 0:20:27.960 --> 0:20:32.199 soul mate. And that's just that's a false idea. It's 0:20:32.240 --> 0:20:36.080 a it's a it's a it's it's this pagan idea 0:20:36.160 --> 0:20:39.760 that is is blown away out of proportion. And you know, 0:20:39.880 --> 0:20:43.320 hence we have Valentine's Day and this idea that keep 0:20:43.359 --> 0:20:46.959 it choots this little arrow on two people and that 0:20:47.080 --> 0:20:48.800 is the only way that it's going to happen. But 0:20:48.840 --> 0:20:53.560 the problem with thinking that way is that, Okay, for instance, 0:20:53.560 --> 0:20:56.080 this situation if we go, Okay, she's seven years older. 0:20:56.160 --> 0:21:00.160 I'm twenty three and she's thirty and and I'm thinking 0:21:00.160 --> 0:21:03.080 that by the time I'm forty and she's forty seven, 0:21:03.400 --> 0:21:04.960 that's going to be a problem. But then you go, 0:21:05.040 --> 0:21:09.399 oh no, but she's my soulmate. I've already declared, and 0:21:09.440 --> 0:21:12.440 I told Grainger on the podcast that she is my soulmate. 0:21:12.920 --> 0:21:16.080 And it becomes you see this problem where you feel 0:21:16.119 --> 0:21:20.120 like you can't you can't pull away from that idea, 0:21:20.440 --> 0:21:22.680 and so you have to get you have to get 0:21:22.720 --> 0:21:27.680 married because she's my soulmate. Okay, So I would reject 0:21:27.680 --> 0:21:30.159 that idea, okay, And as we move on into the 0:21:30.240 --> 0:21:34.000 question itself, I think, if you're first of all, could 0:21:34.000 --> 0:21:37.320 it work? Absolutely, I think it could be fantastic. You 0:21:37.680 --> 0:21:42.399 hear these kind of stories, and typically you see it 0:21:42.440 --> 0:21:45.439 the other way around. Typically you see the girl is 0:21:45.440 --> 0:21:47.560 twenty three and the guy is thirty. When it comes 0:21:47.600 --> 0:21:52.480 to a seven year difference, because of and just here's 0:21:52.520 --> 0:21:55.960 my opinion inserting here, because of the intelligence level of 0:21:56.000 --> 0:21:59.600 women is usually higher than a man at in the 0:21:59.640 --> 0:22:03.400 stage of growth, and so you get that's why at teenagers, 0:22:03.600 --> 0:22:06.239 when you have a fifteen year old teenager. She's just 0:22:06.320 --> 0:22:08.960 not She usually is not going to relate to other 0:22:09.000 --> 0:22:12.240 fifteen year old boys because she's on like a seventeen 0:22:12.320 --> 0:22:15.560 or eighteen year old level of a boy. Right, that's normal. 0:22:15.760 --> 0:22:21.159 We know this documented, but it's strange. It's stranger to 0:22:21.200 --> 0:22:24.919 see it flipped where it's it's opposite. But that's not 0:22:24.960 --> 0:22:29.080 to say that it can't work. I personally this is 0:22:30.720 --> 0:22:33.280 you hear all these like stutters I'm giving you here 0:22:33.280 --> 0:22:35.280 on this question because let me just give you my 0:22:35.320 --> 0:22:39.399 personal opinion. I don't like this idea. I don't like 0:22:39.440 --> 0:22:45.439 this idea for many reasons, and one I think the 0:22:45.520 --> 0:22:50.520 good reason is it's still early right now. I'm assuming 0:22:50.600 --> 0:22:56.840 you're not saying you love her yet, hopefully not. You're 0:22:56.840 --> 0:22:59.080 hopefully not doing something like that. Please don't do that. 0:23:00.160 --> 0:23:02.359 You're saying she's very direct. Of course she is. Because 0:23:02.359 --> 0:23:05.760 she's seven years older. She sees life differently. That's a 0:23:05.800 --> 0:23:08.280 big jump if you're twenty three and she's thirty. If 0:23:08.359 --> 0:23:11.680 you are thirty and she's thirty seven, she sees life 0:23:11.920 --> 0:23:16.200 differently because she's lived it longer in a time when 0:23:17.280 --> 0:23:20.960 things have really changed. She looks at the world differently. 0:23:21.760 --> 0:23:24.440 So that's why she's very direct. That's just a maturity thing. 0:23:24.480 --> 0:23:28.080 That's not her necessarily. But here's why I don't like it. 0:23:28.400 --> 0:23:33.280 I don't like it because you don't have these nostalgic 0:23:33.359 --> 0:23:36.720 memories that you could draw on from your childhood. Because 0:23:36.920 --> 0:23:41.200 seven years is pushing into a world where she doesn't 0:23:41.200 --> 0:23:44.560 remember the same cartoons, she didn't play with the same toys. 0:23:44.680 --> 0:23:47.879 Her parents might not be remotely the same age as 0:23:47.920 --> 0:23:52.520