1 00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:07,960 Speaker 1: You will not ever ever regret taking the time away 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:15,200 Speaker 1: from your career and putting it into your baby boy. 3 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:25,599 Speaker 1: What's up everybody, Welcome back to the podcast. I love 4 00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:28,600 Speaker 1: doing this because it's different than anything else I do 5 00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:31,600 Speaker 1: during the day. I don't prepare at all for what 6 00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:34,720 Speaker 1: I'm about to do. I'm answering your questions. In fact, 7 00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:37,200 Speaker 1: if you have a question for me, email me at 8 00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:42,839 Speaker 1: podcast at grangersmith dot com, and then I'll take these 9 00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:46,880 Speaker 1: walk through it randomly like we're just two friends talking 10 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:49,760 Speaker 1: about something that you want to talk about. Could be 11 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:53,200 Speaker 1: something deep about your family or a relationship or a job, 12 00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:57,560 Speaker 1: or it just could be something really simple. Either way, 13 00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:01,720 Speaker 1: email me once again podcast at grangersmith dot com. We'll 14 00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:03,960 Speaker 1: throw it in the queue and we'll get to it 15 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:06,080 Speaker 1: like we're sitting around a campfire. We're gonna jump it 16 00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:09,479 Speaker 1: right into it right now. The first question comes from anonymous. 17 00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:11,640 Speaker 1: If you have a question for me that you want 18 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:13,600 Speaker 1: to be anonymous, make sure you include that because you 19 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:16,199 Speaker 1: know that I'll just roll right through it if not. Also, 20 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:19,360 Speaker 1: my only request for you is well two requests really. 21 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:23,160 Speaker 1: Don't send the same email twice, and don't make it 22 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:25,759 Speaker 1: longer than about a phone length. It makes it much 23 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:28,520 Speaker 1: easier to read and to sort through if it's about 24 00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:32,440 Speaker 1: if your issue is about a phone length. Okay. The 25 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:34,920 Speaker 1: first one is from Anonymous, and it says, Hey Granger, 26 00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:37,959 Speaker 1: about a month ago, my husband and I got baptized 27 00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:41,600 Speaker 1: and joined a church that's not my parents' church. We 28 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:44,120 Speaker 1: prayed about it for a long time and have peace 29 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:47,800 Speaker 1: with this. This is the church for us. The churches 30 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:51,440 Speaker 1: are very similar. We just felt more comfortable here. But 31 00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:54,160 Speaker 1: since we told our parents we're going to join there 32 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:59,600 Speaker 1: and get baptized, the relationship is just ruined. It was 33 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:02,360 Speaker 1: even so bad that my parents didn't even show up 34 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:05,720 Speaker 1: at our baptism. They barely talk to us anymore, and 35 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:09,480 Speaker 1: there's tension whenever we are together. It hurts me so much. 36 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:12,519 Speaker 1: I don't understand how someone could be upset at us 37 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:16,880 Speaker 1: that we found God and got baptized. How can we 38 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:19,200 Speaker 1: try to get along with them or deal with this 39 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:23,600 Speaker 1: hurt we've been We have tried talking with them, but 40 00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:26,480 Speaker 1: this hasn't helped. My dad thinks that their church is 41 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:29,400 Speaker 1: the only church that's right and goes to heaven, but 42 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:33,120 Speaker 1: that's not right either. Okay, Anonymous, thanks for the question 43 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:37,399 Speaker 1: and I'm sorry that this is the boat that you're 44 00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:44,760 Speaker 1: in right now. You know, Jesus promised that he would come, 45 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:51,240 Speaker 1: and that separates that families would separate in knowing him. 46 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:56,160 Speaker 1: It's unfortunate that it happens this way in our earthly time, 47 00:02:56,320 --> 00:03:03,200 Speaker 1: that we see families split apart by this. But let's 48 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:05,120 Speaker 1: dive into a little bit of what so we could 49 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:09,840 Speaker 1: help understand the division. Let's dive into your question. And 50 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:12,960 Speaker 1: I want to. I want to. I want to be 51 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:15,880 Speaker 1: able to dissect this as much as I actually know 52 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:19,720 Speaker 1: the situation, because I don't know the denominations, I don't 53 00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:23,640 Speaker 1: know the churches. I don't know if you got baptized before. 54 00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:25,560 Speaker 1: Now this is a second time where if you never 55 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:28,520 Speaker 1: got baptized in why you never got baptized in your parents' church, 56 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:30,679 Speaker 1: and and now you're there's a lot of unknowns here. 57 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:33,680 Speaker 1: So I'm gonna I'm gonna do my best dealing with 58 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:38,320 Speaker 1: a lot of unknowns. The first thing I know is 59 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:46,960 Speaker 1: your parents in your church. Your parents' church and your church. 60 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:51,480 Speaker 1: Although you say they are similar, very similar, you say, 61 00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:54,960 Speaker 1: I don't think that that I don't think that's right. 62 00:03:56,280 --> 00:04:00,600 Speaker 1: I don't I don't think they can be very similar 63 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:03,840 Speaker 1: and this happened. I think there's something more to it, 64 00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:06,920 Speaker 1: and I think that's going to cause my answer to 65 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:09,680 Speaker 1: be a little iffy here, because I feel like if 66 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:12,240 Speaker 1: they were very similar, if they were like minded churches, 67 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:16,839 Speaker 1: they were very similar church, then your church would affirm 68 00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:19,479 Speaker 1: that the old church, and the old church would affirm 69 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:20,800 Speaker 1: the new church and be like, oh, yeah, down the 70 00:04:20,839 --> 00:04:23,960 Speaker 1: street that so and so, Yeah, they are just like 71 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:27,760 Speaker 1: we are. That's obviously not the case here. And your 72 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:34,200 Speaker 1: parents are showing that, your parents not showing up at 73 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:37,359 Speaker 1: your baptism. That's another thing. The question I have is 74 00:04:38,839 --> 00:04:44,680 Speaker 1: were you converted after you left your parents' church? Where 75 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:49,279 Speaker 1: you converted later in life through the conversion, which, okay, 76 00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:51,440 Speaker 1: here we go something else. Let me just throw a 77 00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:54,440 Speaker 1: spike in this right now. There was a great book 78 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:58,760 Speaker 1: called Conversion. It's a nine marks book. It's called Conversion. 79 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:02,720 Speaker 1: It's a very short book and if anyone wants to 80 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:07,160 Speaker 1: know more about conversion, becoming a Christian, what it means 81 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:10,440 Speaker 1: to die and be reborn, this is a great, just 82 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:13,480 Speaker 1: little book to jump into. So side note, throw a 83 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:16,800 Speaker 1: spike in it. Take that for what you will. Conversion, 84 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:21,080 Speaker 1: it's what it's called the Nine Marks book, And so 85 00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:24,200 Speaker 1: were you converted after you left your parents church? That's 86 00:05:24,279 --> 00:05:28,599 Speaker 1: another question I have. And then this whole they barely 87 00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:32,640 Speaker 1: talk to you anymore, and there's tension whenever you're together. 88 00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:37,839 Speaker 1: That's weird, And I'm putting that on the parents, regardless 89 00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:41,680 Speaker 1: of this church and what they believe, and regardless of 90 00:05:41,839 --> 00:05:44,000 Speaker 1: if they did not show up at the baptism, the 91 00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:46,600 Speaker 1: fact that they don't talk to you is weird, and 92 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:51,240 Speaker 1: that's a strike against them. And then you say, I 93 00:05:51,279 --> 00:05:53,760 Speaker 1: don't understand how someone could be upset that we found 94 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:58,159 Speaker 1: God and got baptized. You could if it was a 95 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:02,920 Speaker 1: bad church, and if it was a weird if it's 96 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:06,479 Speaker 1: a false church and a false baptism, then you could 97 00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:09,080 Speaker 1: be upset. But that still wouldn't account for the parents 98 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:11,680 Speaker 1: not talking to you. So that's kind of like a 99 00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:15,839 Speaker 1: strike and either mark here, this is a difficult question 100 00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:18,880 Speaker 1: without me knowing anything else. And then you say, how 101 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:22,239 Speaker 1: can we get along with them or deal with this hurt? 102 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:26,440 Speaker 1: We've tried talking to them, but that hasn't helped to that. 103 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:32,719 Speaker 1: I say, if you had a feeling this would happen, 104 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:39,520 Speaker 1: was it necessary to leave the parents church to make 105 00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:42,400 Speaker 1: you feel more comfortable. That's the word you use. We 106 00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:45,640 Speaker 1: feel more comfortable at the other church, the new church. 107 00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:51,120 Speaker 1: Was that necessary with knowing that now you're going to 108 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:54,320 Speaker 1: make your life uncomfortable because of the way your parents feel. 109 00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:57,279 Speaker 1: I mean surely that when you visited the new church, 110 00:06:57,360 --> 00:07:00,600 Speaker 1: your parents showed you like, hey, we don't with that, 111 00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:02,599 Speaker 1: and we're not going to talk to you anymore if 112 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:04,240 Speaker 1: you do. Like, surely you had an idea that this 113 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:07,240 Speaker 1: was coming, and yet you chose the new church because 114 00:07:07,279 --> 00:07:12,080 Speaker 1: you felt more comfortable and major a whole personal life uncomfortable. 115 00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:16,240 Speaker 1: That's weird. See, there's a lot of weirdness going on here. 116 00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:20,520 Speaker 1: And then the very last thing that you said was no, 117 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:24,640 Speaker 1: the second yeah, last thing he said, my dad thinks 118 00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:27,160 Speaker 1: that their church is the only church that's right and 119 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:30,280 Speaker 1: goes to heaven. But that's not right either. That's definitely 120 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:36,480 Speaker 1: a strike on dad. And I will say each time 121 00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:39,160 Speaker 1: this is just a side note. You capitalized church with 122 00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:43,440 Speaker 1: a capital C, and there is only one capital C 123 00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:46,400 Speaker 1: church and that's that is the Church of God, and 124 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:49,160 Speaker 1: that is every church you're talking about is a lower 125 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:52,440 Speaker 1: case see. That is a community church, a local church. 126 00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:56,000 Speaker 1: So it's important to realize that too. Like Dad's right 127 00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:58,560 Speaker 1: that the capital C church is the only way to 128 00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:01,760 Speaker 1: go to heaven, Like he's about that, but he's not 129 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:04,720 Speaker 1: talking in terms of capital C church. He's talking lower 130 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:08,000 Speaker 1: case C. So there's a lot of unknowns here. And 131 00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:11,320 Speaker 1: because I don't know anything about this besides the fact 132 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:14,800 Speaker 1: that it's weird, and there's besides the fact that I 133 00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:17,640 Speaker 1: know there are things that I don't know. Because of that, 134 00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:21,520 Speaker 1: I say, love them, because your parents they are your parents. 135 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:27,000 Speaker 1: Love them, forgive them, pour into them, be selfless toward them, 136 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:31,160 Speaker 1: don't judge them, regardless of if you feel all of 137 00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:34,920 Speaker 1: that coming at you, you feel judged, you feel not respected, 138 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:40,800 Speaker 1: you feel not honored as kids. Regardless of that, forgive them, 139 00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:44,680 Speaker 1: love them, pour into them, continue to try to cultivate 140 00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:48,240 Speaker 1: a relationship, continue to have a good conversation about the 141 00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:52,400 Speaker 1: lower case C church. Hey, Dad, could we walk through 142 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:55,720 Speaker 1: maybe some of the differences that you see. What are 143 00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:57,720 Speaker 1: the differences, Dad, that you see in this new church, 144 00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:00,240 Speaker 1: because we feel like it's very similar. What are the 145 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:03,400 Speaker 1: differences you see in our church and your church? And 146 00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:05,880 Speaker 1: why do you think that this should bring tension to 147 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:07,960 Speaker 1: our family? And why do you think that your church 148 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:11,079 Speaker 1: is the only one that goes to heaven. And let's 149 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:15,760 Speaker 1: try politely and nicely to pin him down on these 150 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:19,680 Speaker 1: doctrinal issues, like let's get him to speak specifically about 151 00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:22,560 Speaker 1: here's what the Bible says, and here's what your church 152 00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:25,719 Speaker 1: is going against with what this Bible says. Right, your 153 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:28,320 Speaker 1: Bible says this, and our church is going your church 154 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,880 Speaker 1: is going against it, and our church over here is 155 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:34,440 Speaker 1: affirming it. And here is a couple of links to 156 00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:37,400 Speaker 1: some YouTube sermons that our pastor did that affirms this, 157 00:09:37,679 --> 00:09:40,000 Speaker 1: and here's a couple of links to your church that 158 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:44,960 Speaker 1: denies this. Let's get there, because if you can get there, 159 00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:48,520 Speaker 1: then you can go, wow, Dad, you were right here. 160 00:09:48,559 --> 00:09:52,120 Speaker 1: We come. We're coming to your church. Or maybe your 161 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:56,160 Speaker 1: dad will go Okay, that's like a third tier issue, 162 00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:59,320 Speaker 1: you guys, I understand where you're coming from. Maybe just 163 00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:04,600 Speaker 1: maybe through prayer and through kindness and through you guys 164 00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:07,679 Speaker 1: just pouring into them because they are your parents, maybe 165 00:10:07,679 --> 00:10:15,079 Speaker 1: this could be resolved that way. Next question is from Jenna. 166 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,880 Speaker 1: It says, Hey, Granger, I love the godly of ice 167 00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:19,640 Speaker 1: and wisdom that you bring to each and every question. 168 00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:22,640 Speaker 1: I'm sure I'm one of those questions that you probably 169 00:10:22,679 --> 00:10:25,000 Speaker 1: roll your eyes because you hear it a lot. Lol. 170 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:28,360 Speaker 1: I'm thirty years old and desperately desired to be married 171 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,920 Speaker 1: and have a family. I'm very active in my church, 172 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:33,800 Speaker 1: but live in a very small town. I have tried 173 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:37,599 Speaker 1: online dating, and all that that does is bring me anxiety. 174 00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:40,000 Speaker 1: I know that God is sovereign that he wants me 175 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:42,720 Speaker 1: to be single. I know that God is sovereign, and 176 00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:45,360 Speaker 1: if he wants me to be single forever, then so 177 00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:48,880 Speaker 1: be it. I am constantly fighting this battle of knowing 178 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:53,080 Speaker 1: that but still desiring a husband and kids. I guess 179 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:57,080 Speaker 1: my question is how would you tell me to balance 180 00:10:57,360 --> 00:11:00,560 Speaker 1: being content in my stage of life has me in 181 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:04,240 Speaker 1: while also being proactive and searching for a spouse. Also, 182 00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:06,760 Speaker 1: if you know any godly singing golden men, I'm not 183 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:09,480 Speaker 1: opposed to long distance dating. Thank you for your podcasting 184 00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:12,320 Speaker 1: your time. I've never done anything like this before, so 185 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:15,679 Speaker 1: it's a little awkward for me. Yee, okay, Jenna. If 186 00:11:15,679 --> 00:11:18,160 Speaker 1: you've never never emailed a podcast like this or ask 187 00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:22,079 Speaker 1: a question, ask a question, thank you. It's that's a 188 00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:25,240 Speaker 1: big step. Maybe we could start there if it was. 189 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:27,800 Speaker 1: If this is something that you feel awkward, about and 190 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:31,920 Speaker 1: uncomfortable because you've never been vulnerable enough to reach out 191 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:33,839 Speaker 1: to someone like this and tell them, you know, kind 192 00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:36,840 Speaker 1: of throw your laundry, your dirty laundry out there. Hey, 193 00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:41,559 Speaker 1: maybe that's a good place to start being vulnerable. Admitting 194 00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:44,160 Speaker 1: that there is things that you don't know. That's always 195 00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:46,600 Speaker 1: a huge thing. Now, that's the thing I battle with, 196 00:11:46,679 --> 00:11:48,880 Speaker 1: you know. I want to always be able to keep 197 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:54,240 Speaker 1: my ears open and to seek understanding, right because there 198 00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:56,840 Speaker 1: were the majority of things in this world I do 199 00:11:56,920 --> 00:12:00,920 Speaker 1: not know. I know a sliver of things. So that's great. 200 00:12:01,559 --> 00:12:05,640 Speaker 1: That's great that you've opened yourself up like this, and 201 00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:07,120 Speaker 1: I think you're in the right place. First of all, 202 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:13,400 Speaker 1: thirty years old super young. You're super young. I know 203 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:16,040 Speaker 1: the world wants to tell you that you're you're of 204 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:19,880 Speaker 1: the right age to get married, Jenna, but there is 205 00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:22,760 Speaker 1: no you're not putting it off. It's not like it's 206 00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:24,840 Speaker 1: not like you're saying, I'm thirty and I'm putting it 207 00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:27,719 Speaker 1: off because I'm I just want to stay single. You're 208 00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:30,000 Speaker 1: not doing that. You're saying, look, I'm open for all options, 209 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:34,200 Speaker 1: and I'm realizing that my biological clock is at a 210 00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:37,559 Speaker 1: good place. So there you go, but don't listen to 211 00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:40,000 Speaker 1: the world saying there is a deadline you need to 212 00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:43,640 Speaker 1: be on because you do not very active in church. Good, 213 00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:45,800 Speaker 1: you live in a very small town. Good. If you 214 00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:49,760 Speaker 1: tried online dating but that brings you anxiety. Good, I 215 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:53,160 Speaker 1: totally agree. I could see that. And then you say this, 216 00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:55,440 Speaker 1: I know that God is sovereign and he wants me. 217 00:12:55,559 --> 00:12:57,280 Speaker 1: If he wants me to be single forever, then so 218 00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:03,360 Speaker 1: be it. Okay, But here you go, I am constantly 219 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:06,319 Speaker 1: fighting this battle of knowing that but still desiring a 220 00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:08,520 Speaker 1: husband and kids. I get it. I get it because 221 00:13:08,559 --> 00:13:11,560 Speaker 1: you know why. Because you're human. You know that God 222 00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:14,640 Speaker 1: is sovereign. You know that he has a plan for you. 223 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:16,440 Speaker 1: You know that he has a purpose for you. You 224 00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:19,040 Speaker 1: know that it's already written. You know you're walking in 225 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:23,280 Speaker 1: it right now. But here's the big butt. You say, 226 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:27,640 Speaker 1: but I still desire a husband and kids. I would 227 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:30,000 Speaker 1: bring that to God. You could live in the Psalms 228 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:33,640 Speaker 1: with this kind of thought. You could live and meditate 229 00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:35,920 Speaker 1: in the Psalms. I would go to Psalm one and 230 00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:38,720 Speaker 1: just start working my way down. There's one hundred and 231 00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:40,880 Speaker 1: fifty of them. It'll take you a long time, but 232 00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:44,120 Speaker 1: you could pray through the Psalms or pray through the Bible. 233 00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:46,800 Speaker 1: If y'all ever done that, it's a great way to 234 00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:49,720 Speaker 1: kind of cultivate your prayer life. Go through the Psalms. 235 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,880 Speaker 1: We'll start there. You could do any of it. Start 236 00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:54,400 Speaker 1: there in the Psalms and read a few lines of 237 00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:57,120 Speaker 1: it and pray through it as though you're praying that 238 00:13:57,240 --> 00:14:01,679 Speaker 1: same prayer. Great exercise, and what you'll see is you'll 239 00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:04,440 Speaker 1: see the same attitude throughout the Psalms. You'll see God, 240 00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:07,520 Speaker 1: I know your sovereign, I know you were good. I 241 00:14:07,559 --> 00:14:09,920 Speaker 1: know you have a purpose. But also you know my heart. 242 00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:14,680 Speaker 1: You know I desire a husband and kids, And I 243 00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:17,080 Speaker 1: know that if I'm seeking you with all my heart, 244 00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:19,920 Speaker 1: if I'm delighting in you, you will give me the 245 00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:23,160 Speaker 1: desires of my heart. Not that He will give you 246 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:26,280 Speaker 1: what you want, but he will give you the once. 247 00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:30,080 Speaker 1: He will cultivate new desires within you and start to 248 00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:33,600 Speaker 1: kind of suppress old desires. If you're seeking him. If 249 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:35,960 Speaker 1: your prayer life is healthy, if you have a good 250 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:39,200 Speaker 1: devotional reading time every morning with your Word, your personal 251 00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:42,440 Speaker 1: time in the Bible, you have no hidden, unrepentant sin 252 00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:45,320 Speaker 1: floating around, and you have wise counsel, which is your church. 253 00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:47,960 Speaker 1: You're in your church, you're involved in your church. At 254 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:50,760 Speaker 1: that point, you start doing what you want because you 255 00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:54,720 Speaker 1: could be pretty sure that God is now guiding your desires. 256 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:57,880 Speaker 1: You're delighting in him. He's giving you the desires of 257 00:14:57,920 --> 00:15:00,680 Speaker 1: your heart. That's what that means. So it sounds like 258 00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:03,520 Speaker 1: you're kind of in this world right now, and so 259 00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:07,480 Speaker 1: you're fighting against it, going I'm doing this, I want this, 260 00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:10,720 Speaker 1: and I'm not seeing anything from it. So this is 261 00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:16,880 Speaker 1: where I say, rest, be still and wait for the Lord. 262 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:23,080 Speaker 1: Wait for the Lord. Be still, Rest in this God, 263 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:26,240 Speaker 1: your sovereign God. I want a husband, I want a family, 264 00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:30,760 Speaker 1: I want kids. So for I will wait for you. 265 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:34,720 Speaker 1: Right then, I will wait for you. I will rest 266 00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:39,080 Speaker 1: in this knowledge of your sovereignty, of your providence, of 267 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:42,400 Speaker 1: your kingship. You are on the throne, and I will 268 00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:44,840 Speaker 1: take this desire that I have and know that it 269 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:46,960 Speaker 1: has to be from you, because I'm seeking you, and 270 00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:49,760 Speaker 1: yet I don't have it yet. And so there's the tension. 271 00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:53,120 Speaker 1: Where the tension is between God is sovereign and I 272 00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:57,480 Speaker 1: have a desire. The tension in between that is wait 273 00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:02,800 Speaker 1: for the Lord. Right, That's what we do. It's not easy, 274 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:06,040 Speaker 1: but this is where I say. You meditate through the Psalms, 275 00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:09,400 Speaker 1: pray through the Psalms, and you'll find the Psalmist over 276 00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:15,040 Speaker 1: and over again, waiting and resting, kind of suppressing that 277 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:20,600 Speaker 1: anxiety and that stress went with the waiting. This is 278 00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:25,800 Speaker 1: what you do, and you will, I'm sure, have clarity 279 00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:32,880 Speaker 1: in this as time goes by and you continue this pattern, praying, resting, understanding, believing, 280 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:36,200 Speaker 1: knowing who he is, knowing that he's good, knowing that 281 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:41,160 Speaker 1: he's sovereign, resting in that, still attending church and going 282 00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:45,320 Speaker 1: through whatever activities you're doing in your local church, serving them, 283 00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:48,960 Speaker 1: serving others, serving your friends, and then boom, one day, 284 00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:54,640 Speaker 1: there he is the husband. There he suddenly appears. It's 285 00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:59,440 Speaker 1: crazy how that happens. But I see this happening with 286 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:04,119 Speaker 1: you either way, by resting and waiting, I see either way, 287 00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:08,840 Speaker 1: either single or not. I see clarity in that in 288 00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:11,440 Speaker 1: your waiting. So if anyone wants to get a hold 289 00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:13,280 Speaker 1: of me, you're listening to the podcast right now, and 290 00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:16,000 Speaker 1: you think, man, I would love for Granger to shoot 291 00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:18,720 Speaker 1: me a text or send me a video message on 292 00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:21,240 Speaker 1: something else, on some other subject, maybe a little pick 293 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:23,159 Speaker 1: me up. Maybe I wish Granger would give me a 294 00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:26,320 Speaker 1: happy birthday wish. Or my brother's a huge fan he 295 00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:29,719 Speaker 1: could use a happy birthday. Maybe with the holidays coming up, 296 00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:32,919 Speaker 1: you're thinking, what do I get my kid? What do 297 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,960 Speaker 1: I get my nephew? What do I get my brother 298 00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:37,840 Speaker 1: or my wife? What do I What kind of present 299 00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:40,760 Speaker 1: do I get them? They already have what they need. Well, 300 00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:44,040 Speaker 1: how about a gift of cameo And what that is 301 00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:46,560 Speaker 1: is you got a cameo dot com slash Granger Smith 302 00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:49,800 Speaker 1: and you could find me on there and you just say, Hey, Granger, 303 00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:52,240 Speaker 1: I want you to send a message to my wife 304 00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:56,119 Speaker 1: and just say happy birthday or Merry Christmas, whatever you 305 00:17:56,119 --> 00:17:57,879 Speaker 1: want me to say. It's right there in the app 306 00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:00,680 Speaker 1: in the form. It's super easy. I get that notification 307 00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:03,760 Speaker 1: on my phone, I take it, do the selfie cam 308 00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:06,639 Speaker 1: and then send it right back to you. Super easy. 309 00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:10,640 Speaker 1: Cameo dot com slash Grangersmith. That's c ameo dot com. 310 00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:12,760 Speaker 1: Or you can look for me on the cameo app 311 00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:17,239 Speaker 1: Granger Smith. All right, Next question comes from anonymous and 312 00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:20,320 Speaker 1: it says, Hey, Granger, I recently met a woman I 313 00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:24,200 Speaker 1: feel very good in her presence. She appreciates every little 314 00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:27,240 Speaker 1: thing I do, and she's very energetic, thankful, and also 315 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:31,280 Speaker 1: very direct. It seems we are soulmates. In our conversation, 316 00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:36,919 Speaker 1: I heard she is seven years older. In our conference, 317 00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:39,560 Speaker 1: let me read that again. In our conversations, I heard 318 00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:42,200 Speaker 1: she is seven years older. It's kind of an odd 319 00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:44,879 Speaker 1: way to say that. Now. I have some concerns that 320 00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:47,840 Speaker 1: this age difference, especially me as a younger man, could 321 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:51,080 Speaker 1: lead into problems in a potential marriage. On the other hand, 322 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:53,720 Speaker 1: many people say it can work perfectly if you are 323 00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:56,479 Speaker 1: really connected. I would appreciate to hear your thoughts on 324 00:18:56,480 --> 00:19:01,160 Speaker 1: this topic. Man. Great question, and I was really taken 325 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:04,639 Speaker 1: back by the way that you said in our conversations, 326 00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:07,119 Speaker 1: I heard she is seven years older. It's like, I 327 00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:09,680 Speaker 1: feel like you could have said, she told me she's 328 00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:11,600 Speaker 1: seven years older. She told me her birthday, and I 329 00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:15,160 Speaker 1: realized that was seven years older. But it's an interesting 330 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:18,880 Speaker 1: way that you worded it in our conversations. I heard 331 00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:21,600 Speaker 1: as if you were passive in that situation, like you 332 00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:24,320 Speaker 1: didn't comment on that, you just let it kind of 333 00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:29,000 Speaker 1: go okay. Thanks for the email, and I appreciate your brother. 334 00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:35,080 Speaker 1: I'm assuming. Once again, this is another one of these 335 00:19:35,119 --> 00:19:38,760 Speaker 1: examples of me just not knowing the context here. But 336 00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:43,960 Speaker 1: I'm assuming let's say you are twenty five and she's 337 00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:48,240 Speaker 1: thirty two, or let's say you're twenty two and she's 338 00:19:48,400 --> 00:20:00,760 Speaker 1: thirty or twenty nine. Right, I see this. I feel 339 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,960 Speaker 1: you Let me dive into something before I get into that, 340 00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:06,240 Speaker 1: before I get into the age difference. Let me let 341 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:10,119 Speaker 1: me dive into this idea of soulmate, because you know, 342 00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:14,720 Speaker 1: you know on this podcast, reject that word soulmate. That's 343 00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:18,600 Speaker 1: a that's an old pagan idea that you have half 344 00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:21,639 Speaker 1: a soul and there is another half of your soul 345 00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:24,639 Speaker 1: out there and it combines and it creates one and 346 00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:27,880 Speaker 1: you your soul becomes one finally and they are your 347 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:32,199 Speaker 1: soul mate. And that's just that's a false idea. It's 348 00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:36,080 Speaker 1: a it's a it's a it's it's this pagan idea 349 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:39,760 Speaker 1: that is is blown away out of proportion. And you know, 350 00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:43,320 Speaker 1: hence we have Valentine's Day and this idea that keep 351 00:20:43,359 --> 00:20:46,959 Speaker 1: it choots this little arrow on two people and that 352 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:48,800 Speaker 1: is the only way that it's going to happen. But 353 00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:53,560 Speaker 1: the problem with thinking that way is that, Okay, for instance, 354 00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:56,080 Speaker 1: this situation if we go, Okay, she's seven years older. 355 00:20:56,160 --> 00:21:00,160 Speaker 1: I'm twenty three and she's thirty and and I'm thinking 356 00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:03,080 Speaker 1: that by the time I'm forty and she's forty seven, 357 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:04,960 Speaker 1: that's going to be a problem. But then you go, 358 00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:09,399 Speaker 1: oh no, but she's my soulmate. I've already declared, and 359 00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:12,440 Speaker 1: I told Grainger on the podcast that she is my soulmate. 360 00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:16,080 Speaker 1: And it becomes you see this problem where you feel 361 00:21:16,119 --> 00:21:20,120 Speaker 1: like you can't you can't pull away from that idea, 362 00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:22,680 Speaker 1: and so you have to get you have to get 363 00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:27,680 Speaker 1: married because she's my soulmate. Okay, So I would reject 364 00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:30,159 Speaker 1: that idea, okay, And as we move on into the 365 00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:34,000 Speaker 1: question itself, I think, if you're first of all, could 366 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:37,320 Speaker 1: it work? Absolutely, I think it could be fantastic. You 367 00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:42,399 Speaker 1: hear these kind of stories, and typically you see it 368 00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:45,439 Speaker 1: the other way around. Typically you see the girl is 369 00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:47,560 Speaker 1: twenty three and the guy is thirty. When it comes 370 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:52,480 Speaker 1: to a seven year difference, because of and just here's 371 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:55,960 Speaker 1: my opinion inserting here, because of the intelligence level of 372 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:59,600 Speaker 1: women is usually higher than a man at in the 373 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:03,400 Speaker 1: stage of growth, and so you get that's why at teenagers, 374 00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:06,239 Speaker 1: when you have a fifteen year old teenager. She's just 375 00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:08,960 Speaker 1: not She usually is not going to relate to other 376 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:12,240 Speaker 1: fifteen year old boys because she's on like a seventeen 377 00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:15,560 Speaker 1: or eighteen year old level of a boy. Right, that's normal. 378 00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:21,159 Speaker 1: We know this documented, but it's strange. It's stranger to 379 00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:24,919 Speaker 1: see it flipped where it's it's opposite. But that's not 380 00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:29,080 Speaker 1: to say that it can't work. I personally this is 381 00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:33,280 Speaker 1: you hear all these like stutters I'm giving you here 382 00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:35,280 Speaker 1: on this question because let me just give you my 383 00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:39,399 Speaker 1: personal opinion. I don't like this idea. I don't like 384 00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:45,439 Speaker 1: this idea for many reasons, and one I think the 385 00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:50,520 Speaker 1: good reason is it's still early right now. I'm assuming 386 00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:56,840 Speaker 1: you're not saying you love her yet, hopefully not. You're 387 00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:59,080 Speaker 1: hopefully not doing something like that. Please don't do that. 388 00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:02,359 Speaker 1: You're saying she's very direct. Of course she is. Because 389 00:23:02,359 --> 00:23:05,760 Speaker 1: she's seven years older. She sees life differently. That's a 390 00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:08,280 Speaker 1: big jump if you're twenty three and she's thirty. If 391 00:23:08,359 --> 00:23:11,680 Speaker 1: you are thirty and she's thirty seven, she sees life 392 00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:16,200 Speaker 1: differently because she's lived it longer in a time when 393 00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:20,960 Speaker 1: things have really changed. She looks at the world differently. 394 00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:24,440 Speaker 1: So that's why she's very direct. That's just a maturity thing. 395 00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:28,080 Speaker 1: That's not her necessarily. But here's why I don't like it. 396 00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:33,280 Speaker 1: I don't like it because you don't have these nostalgic 397 00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:36,720 Speaker 1: memories that you could draw on from your childhood. Because 398 00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:41,200 Speaker 1: seven years is pushing into a world where she doesn't 399 00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:44,560 Speaker 1: remember the same cartoons, she didn't play with the same toys. 400 00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:47,879 Speaker 1: Her parents might not be remotely the same age as 401 00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:52,520 Speaker 1: your parents. She has probably a lot more boyfriends than 402 00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:57,320 Speaker 1: you have had girlfriends. She might have some career that's 403 00:23:57,400 --> 00:24:02,440 Speaker 1: established way ahead of yours. There are potential problems down 404 00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:04,960 Speaker 1: the road. All of those can be resolved if you 405 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:07,960 Speaker 1: love her and she loves you, and you are selfless 406 00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:09,800 Speaker 1: towards her and she's selfless towards you, of course that 407 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:13,240 Speaker 1: could be resolved. But I just personally don't like it, man. 408 00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:20,680 Speaker 1: And I'm thinking for these people that say no, many 409 00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:23,160 Speaker 1: people you say are saying it could work out perfectly, 410 00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:26,680 Speaker 1: but you have the concerns. And that's my issue, brother, 411 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:30,879 Speaker 1: That's my issue, is that you have the concern with 412 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:34,120 Speaker 1: this age difference. And if you do now you say 413 00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:36,760 Speaker 1: as a younger man, see you say me as a 414 00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:40,160 Speaker 1: younger man could lead into problems in a potential marriage. 415 00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:44,280 Speaker 1: Why would you go into this knowing there's a potential problem. 416 00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:46,720 Speaker 1: I don't like that, man. I don't like it because 417 00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:48,600 Speaker 1: you brought it up and this is your idea, and 418 00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:53,640 Speaker 1: I think that that small idea, that tiny little that 419 00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:58,159 Speaker 1: tiny little bit of leaven, you know. I feel like 420 00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:01,719 Speaker 1: this is this is something that probably should be cut out. 421 00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:08,080 Speaker 1: That's my opinion. You don't have to do it if you, regardless, 422 00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:11,440 Speaker 1: don't move this relationship too fast. Don't start saying you 423 00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:14,960 Speaker 1: love her, don't start telling her all intimate things, because 424 00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:17,240 Speaker 1: you're still at a place right now where the heartbreak 425 00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:21,080 Speaker 1: is going to be minimal. So minimize the heartbreak by 426 00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:24,760 Speaker 1: kind of cutting this out early. That's my opinion. Take 427 00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:27,679 Speaker 1: it or leave it. Let's move on here to another question. 428 00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:36,000 Speaker 1: All right, next question comes from job and I think 429 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:39,240 Speaker 1: that's how you say it, Joab Joe Abb one of 430 00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:42,399 Speaker 1: the two. It says, Hey, Grangeer, I hope this message 431 00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:45,520 Speaker 1: finds you well. I'm sixteen years old. I have a 432 00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:48,159 Speaker 1: sixteen year old friend who is in a relationship with 433 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:52,719 Speaker 1: the man whose actions are causing her intense harm. My 434 00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:55,359 Speaker 1: friend has dated this young man twice She told me 435 00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:58,520 Speaker 1: that the first time she had sexually assaulted her, he 436 00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:02,359 Speaker 1: had sexually assaulted her, burned her with a lighter, pulled 437 00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:05,040 Speaker 1: her arm and hair, thrown knives at her, and slashed 438 00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:07,960 Speaker 1: her back with a knife. He was physically He is 439 00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:14,160 Speaker 1: physically abusive, emotionally manipulative, and engages in dangerous behaviors such 440 00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:19,080 Speaker 1: as substance abuse and criminal activity. So far, she's complained 441 00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:21,840 Speaker 1: to me about him yelling at her in public to 442 00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:25,840 Speaker 1: the point where pedestrians had to get involved. He is 443 00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:29,280 Speaker 1: a high school dropout with a history of incarceration, no job, 444 00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:32,080 Speaker 1: no future plans. My friend, on the other hand, holds 445 00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:35,160 Speaker 1: a job and is the sole breadwinner in their relationship. 446 00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:38,200 Speaker 1: She has even had to bail him out of jail 447 00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:42,320 Speaker 1: multiple times. Sadly, she's now following his path, getting involved 448 00:26:42,359 --> 00:26:46,720 Speaker 1: in substance abuse, drinking, partying, and skipping school. She used 449 00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:48,880 Speaker 1: to have plans of going to college and going into 450 00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:52,960 Speaker 1: the military, but since she started dating him, she seems 451 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:56,680 Speaker 1: to have given up on those goals. All right, job, 452 00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:02,520 Speaker 1: appreciate the email, brother, and this could be great. A 453 00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:06,040 Speaker 1: great email for anyone else that's listening that might be 454 00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:09,399 Speaker 1: inside this kind of relationship. Right. So, and if your 455 00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:11,680 Speaker 1: girls out there or guys that are in a relationship 456 00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:14,680 Speaker 1: like this, hey, maybe this is this is an eye 457 00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:18,560 Speaker 1: opener for you as well. Let me dive into what 458 00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:23,480 Speaker 1: I think this means. First of all, man, the youth 459 00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:27,880 Speaker 1: so young. I have a sixteen year old friend who's 460 00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:29,960 Speaker 1: in a relationship with young man whose actions are causing 461 00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:34,280 Speaker 1: her immense harm. Sixteen that is just a few years 462 00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:38,280 Speaker 1: older than my daughter. I'm assuming, Joe ab that's what 463 00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:41,840 Speaker 1: I'm gonna call you. I'm assuming that you are about 464 00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:46,080 Speaker 1: the same age. I'm assuming you're sixteen, that's my guess. So, 465 00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:51,240 Speaker 1: assuming you're sixteen, And we'll start with this. If this 466 00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:54,920 Speaker 1: is happening and you see it, you need to get 467 00:27:54,960 --> 00:28:01,160 Speaker 1: involved with authorities or her parents, probably both, and then 468 00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:04,359 Speaker 1: your parents as well. This is not about keeping it 469 00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:07,760 Speaker 1: a secret or let's brush this under the rug. This 470 00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:10,080 Speaker 1: is a private thing. Let's keep it private. This is 471 00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:14,120 Speaker 1: nobody's business. No, when we're talking about sixteen year old 472 00:28:14,119 --> 00:28:17,800 Speaker 1: girl or any girl for that matter, she's sexually assaulted, 473 00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:23,160 Speaker 1: which is a felony. By the way, she has going 474 00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:29,320 Speaker 1: through physical, abusive, emotionally manipulative engagement danger or substance abuse, 475 00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:32,560 Speaker 1: criminal life, all this stuff. Let's call the cops, Let's 476 00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:34,760 Speaker 1: get them involved, Let's call the principle of the school. 477 00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:40,960 Speaker 1: Let's get this needs to happen. Okay, your parents, her parents, 478 00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:45,440 Speaker 1: as many people as you can get involved, the better. 479 00:28:45,920 --> 00:28:47,800 Speaker 1: And then that also takes the pressure off of you. 480 00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:49,600 Speaker 1: It takes the pinpoint away from you. Like if you 481 00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:52,280 Speaker 1: just call the cops and then it's on you, But 482 00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:54,640 Speaker 1: if you go to all these people, then it's on everyone. 483 00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:57,120 Speaker 1: And she can't just kind of pin or he can't 484 00:28:57,160 --> 00:29:01,920 Speaker 1: just pin one person to the person that let all 485 00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:08,280 Speaker 1: this cat out of the bag here. So the other issue, 486 00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:10,600 Speaker 1: and first of all, just take that. I could end 487 00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:12,400 Speaker 1: right there. I could just end the question right there. 488 00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:19,200 Speaker 1: But furthermore, I think you love this girl. That would 489 00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:24,000 Speaker 1: be my guess. I don't think. I don't think this 490 00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:27,520 Speaker 1: would be an issue if you didn't love this girl 491 00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:31,920 Speaker 1: really truly, and so if she was just a friend. 492 00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:35,520 Speaker 1: Sometimes after you've called the police, after you've dealt with 493 00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:37,840 Speaker 1: all this, this is when we walk away. We go 494 00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:41,680 Speaker 1: this is a friend that has now that is now gone. 495 00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:44,120 Speaker 1: I can only do so much. But she's in a 496 00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:47,200 Speaker 1: relationship now and it's now it's weird. Because I'm a guy, 497 00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:49,960 Speaker 1: and how much can I just sit here and try 498 00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:52,440 Speaker 1: to pull her back? Right? So that's when it gets 499 00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:55,800 Speaker 1: kind of weird. But I don't think that's the case. 500 00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:57,680 Speaker 1: I think she's more than a friend. I think you 501 00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:02,040 Speaker 1: love this girl. And and because you love this girl, 502 00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:08,000 Speaker 1: which is complicated because I also believe you're sixteen, So 503 00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:12,440 Speaker 1: because you're sixteen, she's sixteen, you're both under age. This 504 00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:16,400 Speaker 1: is weird. But my point is having coffee with her 505 00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:20,800 Speaker 1: and telling her your true intentions. I think it's about 506 00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:24,360 Speaker 1: time for that as well. It's like, Hey, I want 507 00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:26,640 Speaker 1: to have some coffee with you. I just want to 508 00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:31,080 Speaker 1: tell you that you're with that guy. And I've known 509 00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:34,360 Speaker 1: you for a long time, and I've seen your potential 510 00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:37,760 Speaker 1: and I've believed in you, and you've been so inspiring 511 00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:41,360 Speaker 1: to me. And to see you now give up your 512 00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:44,880 Speaker 1: college plans, to give up your plans about going into 513 00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:47,880 Speaker 1: the military, to see you now with these drugs and 514 00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:51,640 Speaker 1: alcohol and the party and the skipping school, it hurts 515 00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:54,920 Speaker 1: my heart. But let me tell you why it hurts 516 00:30:55,000 --> 00:31:00,800 Speaker 1: my heart, because I'm in love with you and you're 517 00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:03,959 Speaker 1: more than a friend. I care about you so much, 518 00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:07,040 Speaker 1: and this stuff bothers me because I truly want the 519 00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:10,360 Speaker 1: best for you. That's what I want, and to see 520 00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:14,400 Speaker 1: this hurts my heart because my heart is going after you. 521 00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:17,440 Speaker 1: I think if you told her that, I think if 522 00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:19,800 Speaker 1: you laid it out like that, you're then giving her 523 00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:23,560 Speaker 1: the option where's maybe she hasn't heard that before, maybe 524 00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:27,200 Speaker 1: she hasn't been truly loved by someone else, And you'd 525 00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:29,400 Speaker 1: have to be very careful with those kind of words 526 00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:31,160 Speaker 1: because you don't want to give your heart away or 527 00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:33,040 Speaker 1: or you don't want to bend her heart too much 528 00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:35,960 Speaker 1: at this But this is kind of calling for a 529 00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:40,680 Speaker 1: different conversation because she's getting sucked down this drain, So 530 00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:42,640 Speaker 1: you want to be the guy standing in the way 531 00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:44,960 Speaker 1: of the drain, and to do that, you might want 532 00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:46,880 Speaker 1: to tell her the way you really feel. If you do, 533 00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:50,440 Speaker 1: I'm just guessing this, but I think you feel more 534 00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:52,760 Speaker 1: about her than just a friend. You started this whole 535 00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:58,960 Speaker 1: email saying I have a friend. It's admirable to think 536 00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:02,479 Speaker 1: of a friend in this way, but I think there 537 00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:06,680 Speaker 1: might be more. So call the authorities, get everyone involved, 538 00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:09,680 Speaker 1: and after that, after everyone's involved, and after we've kind 539 00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:12,520 Speaker 1: of suppressed this situation, take her to coffee and tell 540 00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:15,280 Speaker 1: her how you really feel. Next question here, subject line 541 00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:18,920 Speaker 1: says family, and the email says, Hello Granger. My husband 542 00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:21,880 Speaker 1: and I recently welcomed a little baby boy into our life. 543 00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:24,760 Speaker 1: With my job, I was able to take twelve weeks 544 00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:26,920 Speaker 1: of maternity leave to take care of our little one. 545 00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:29,400 Speaker 1: I'm coming up to the end of the twelve weeks 546 00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:32,480 Speaker 1: and struggling on whether or not to continue working full 547 00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:34,840 Speaker 1: time or quit to become a stay at home mom. 548 00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:38,320 Speaker 1: I struggle because I love my career and the people 549 00:32:38,360 --> 00:32:40,880 Speaker 1: I work with, but I almost feel I should stay 550 00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:44,200 Speaker 1: home and raise a family. I'm scared of the unknown. 551 00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:46,560 Speaker 1: I just don't know what to do. Do you have 552 00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:52,640 Speaker 1: any advice? Did you say anonymous not I don't think 553 00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:55,840 Speaker 1: you did. The question comes from Jackie, and it's a 554 00:32:55,840 --> 00:32:58,640 Speaker 1: good one. Jackie, thank you so much for emailing and 555 00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:05,000 Speaker 1: congratulations on your little, beautiful baby boy. That's amazing. First 556 00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:09,640 Speaker 1: of all, it's amazing that you were able to take 557 00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:13,480 Speaker 1: the time off, the twelve weeks off, so that you 558 00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:16,480 Speaker 1: could now arrive at this new kind of decision, this 559 00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:19,560 Speaker 1: new kind of thought, which I think is just fantastic. 560 00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:27,280 Speaker 1: I've never been a mom. I don't know I don't 561 00:33:27,320 --> 00:33:29,440 Speaker 1: know what it is like to be a mom, but 562 00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:32,360 Speaker 1: I could speak in terms of being a parent, and 563 00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:38,520 Speaker 1: I could say this to you, Jackie, without reservation. You 564 00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:46,160 Speaker 1: will not ever ever regret taking the time away from 565 00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:49,720 Speaker 1: your career and putting it into your baby boy or 566 00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:54,240 Speaker 1: your toddler boy, or your kindergarten boy, or your elementary 567 00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:57,200 Speaker 1: school boy, or your middle school boy, or your college 568 00:33:57,200 --> 00:34:00,120 Speaker 1: age boy, or your boy that just got married or 569 00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:02,800 Speaker 1: the boy that's now married and has a baby on 570 00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:08,000 Speaker 1: the way. You will never ever regret taking time away 571 00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:14,359 Speaker 1: from that and putting it into a career. I said 572 00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:17,920 Speaker 1: that the other way around. You'll never ever regret taking 573 00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:21,840 Speaker 1: time away from your career and putting it into your family. 574 00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:25,080 Speaker 1: Your boy, Lord Willing, more kids, did you think about that, 575 00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:28,279 Speaker 1: because right now you're talking about this new baby boy. 576 00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:32,319 Speaker 1: But I mean, most likely, right Lord Willing, there's gonna 577 00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:36,040 Speaker 1: be another, a little girl, another little boy, and maybe 578 00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:38,719 Speaker 1: even another after that. I mean, I don't know if 579 00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:41,280 Speaker 1: you would just stop at one. And so the problem's 580 00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:42,960 Speaker 1: not gonna go away. It's gonna come back when you 581 00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:45,440 Speaker 1: have another child, and then you've got a two year 582 00:34:45,480 --> 00:34:47,480 Speaker 1: old or a three year old, and then you're bringing 583 00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:50,239 Speaker 1: another baby into the world, and you're thinking about then 584 00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:55,960 Speaker 1: going back into your career again. I get that you listen. 585 00:34:56,080 --> 00:35:02,000 Speaker 1: I love that you love your career. That's fantastic. There 586 00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:04,560 Speaker 1: would not be a sacrifice to be a mama at 587 00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:07,520 Speaker 1: all if you said I hate my job anyway, I 588 00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:09,719 Speaker 1: just want to be a mama. But the beautiful thing 589 00:35:09,719 --> 00:35:12,120 Speaker 1: about being a mama is you're saying to the world. 590 00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:15,600 Speaker 1: You're saying, look, I love you and your shiny things 591 00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:17,759 Speaker 1: that you have to offer, and I love the way 592 00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:19,480 Speaker 1: it makes me feel to have this big career, and 593 00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:22,760 Speaker 1: I love the idea of being ambitious and building something 594 00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:25,400 Speaker 1: that's the American dream, right that we always talk about. 595 00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:29,640 Speaker 1: And so I'm putting that to the side. I'm giving 596 00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:32,960 Speaker 1: that up. I'm suppressing that so that I could do 597 00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:37,839 Speaker 1: something even better, a dream that's even greater, and that's 598 00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:40,960 Speaker 1: to be a mama. You will never regret that. Is 599 00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:43,319 Speaker 1: it gonna be easy. No, You're gonna have less money 600 00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:45,920 Speaker 1: in your house, You're gonna have that nagging feeling like 601 00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:49,840 Speaker 1: I feel less than the other women who are working 602 00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:53,240 Speaker 1: in this big career. I feel less than the better 603 00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:57,520 Speaker 1: version of myself that looks better physically that has the 604 00:35:57,560 --> 00:36:01,879 Speaker 1: fake eyelashes and the beautiful that I've now lost because 605 00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:05,239 Speaker 1: of these pregnancies. And my body isn't the way I 606 00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:07,719 Speaker 1: wanted it to be. If I was in that like 607 00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:11,560 Speaker 1: sleek business woman suit that I kind of picture in 608 00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:15,040 Speaker 1: my mind, I forget it all. Forget it all. That's 609 00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:21,840 Speaker 1: not life. That's a facade, that's Instagram. Being life is messy, 610 00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:25,920 Speaker 1: and being a mom and being messy in that is 611 00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:31,400 Speaker 1: so much more fulfilling. Look, this is coming from I 612 00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:33,000 Speaker 1: hate to bring it up that this is coming from 613 00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:37,080 Speaker 1: a family that lost a child. Put it in that perspective. 614 00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:41,080 Speaker 1: What if something happened to this boy? What if you 615 00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:44,440 Speaker 1: got it at some kind of illness and you're working 616 00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:47,840 Speaker 1: in your career, how much would you look back and 617 00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:51,440 Speaker 1: go I would give anything anything to have those days back, 618 00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:53,760 Speaker 1: the days I went back to the office to trade 619 00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:55,920 Speaker 1: them and take them back and pour them into my 620 00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:57,799 Speaker 1: little boy. But I don't have it now. What if 621 00:36:57,800 --> 00:37:02,359 Speaker 1: you're going to say, that'd be pretty pretty rough. Yeah, 622 00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:06,439 Speaker 1: what you're feeling is right. The struggle that you have 623 00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:10,359 Speaker 1: is right. But the sacrifice that I know you will 624 00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:14,239 Speaker 1: make for this little boy is the right thing to do. 625 00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:19,319 Speaker 1: I wasn't expecting this one that the subject gliance is 626 00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:21,680 Speaker 1: help and the email says, Hey, grand your my name 627 00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:24,759 Speaker 1: is Henry, I'm from Alberta, and my question is I 628 00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:28,120 Speaker 1: have a monitor and a PS four and I am 629 00:37:29,200 --> 00:37:32,560 Speaker 1: I am so addicted to playing f S two to 630 00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:36,040 Speaker 1: two f S twenty two. Everyone's like, Granger, you don't 631 00:37:36,080 --> 00:37:40,359 Speaker 1: know what that is. And I want to quit, Like 632 00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:42,640 Speaker 1: I don't. I'm trying to read this exactly like he 633 00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:45,160 Speaker 1: wrote it, and I want to quit. It seems like 634 00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:47,279 Speaker 1: I don't have the power to quit. Do you have 635 00:37:47,320 --> 00:37:50,239 Speaker 1: any advice to help me quit or what I should do? 636 00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:53,319 Speaker 1: Ask the Lord and pray? And I am a huge 637 00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:54,799 Speaker 1: fan of your podcast. Thank you for what you do. 638 00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:59,959 Speaker 1: First of all, Henry, you're playing so much PS four 639 00:38:00,239 --> 00:38:04,439 Speaker 1: that you have forgotten punctuation in your emails, and that 640 00:38:05,280 --> 00:38:10,520 Speaker 1: will eventually catch up with you. I'm kind of kidding, 641 00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:13,120 Speaker 1: but I'm kind of not kidding, because I think sometimes 642 00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:16,600 Speaker 1: you can play video games so much that you literally 643 00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:21,120 Speaker 1: forget how to type. But I'm thankful that you did 644 00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:24,440 Speaker 1: type this email for me. So let's walk through it practical. 645 00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:27,200 Speaker 1: Let's try to come up with a practical way for you. Brother, 646 00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:31,040 Speaker 1: to quit this. First of all, there's nothing inherently wrong 647 00:38:31,080 --> 00:38:33,640 Speaker 1: with playing PS four. I don't know what FS two 648 00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:40,839 Speaker 1: two is. I don't know what that means. I can't 649 00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:48,319 Speaker 1: even guess that. I don't know. I don't know what 650 00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:51,080 Speaker 1: f S two two is. But it doesn't matter. I 651 00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:55,919 Speaker 1: think that there's nothing inherently wrong with playing PS four, 652 00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:59,640 Speaker 1: playing video games. In fact, I do know people that 653 00:38:59,719 --> 00:39:04,000 Speaker 1: you that as a stress reliever. They put it like 654 00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:05,359 Speaker 1: a time on it, and they're like, hey man, I'm 655 00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:09,440 Speaker 1: gonna get on here for thirty minutes and just play 656 00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:13,640 Speaker 1: football or do whatever for thirty minutes, and it's a 657 00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:15,719 Speaker 1: good stress reliever. I know. I know people that have 658 00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:17,839 Speaker 1: been like that. That's just the way their brain works, 659 00:39:17,880 --> 00:39:19,680 Speaker 1: and that's kind of the way they unpack their brain. 660 00:39:21,239 --> 00:39:24,799 Speaker 1: You know, my brother Tyler has gone through periods in 661 00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:29,520 Speaker 1: his life when he's done that. But we need to 662 00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:32,200 Speaker 1: think of a practical way because you've realized, you've recognized 663 00:39:32,239 --> 00:39:34,279 Speaker 1: that you're addicted to it, and so what it sounds 664 00:39:34,320 --> 00:39:36,480 Speaker 1: like is this is not like thirty minutes of stress relief. 665 00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:40,279 Speaker 1: This has become this is what you do. You go 666 00:39:40,320 --> 00:39:43,080 Speaker 1: through this and you end up doing it for hours 667 00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:45,719 Speaker 1: and hours, and then you're starting to stay up too late, 668 00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:47,799 Speaker 1: and then you stay up too late playing these video games, 669 00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:50,680 Speaker 1: and it's causing you to then sleep late, and then 670 00:39:50,719 --> 00:39:53,600 Speaker 1: you're missing out on life because you're not being productive 671 00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:56,359 Speaker 1: during the day. Right, that's what I think you didn't say, 672 00:39:56,400 --> 00:39:58,920 Speaker 1: But that's what I think you mean. And that's the problem. 673 00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:01,640 Speaker 1: First of all, you live Alberta, and that is one 674 00:40:01,680 --> 00:40:04,279 Speaker 1: of the most beautiful places on the planet, and that 675 00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:06,520 Speaker 1: is not the place to be playing video games when 676 00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:09,719 Speaker 1: you could be out enjoying those incredible mountains. If you're 677 00:40:09,719 --> 00:40:12,040 Speaker 1: not close to the mountains, maybe you can get to 678 00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:15,879 Speaker 1: the mountains, because those mountains are some of the most 679 00:40:15,920 --> 00:40:20,440 Speaker 1: beautiful things I've ever seen on this planet Earth. But 680 00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:24,839 Speaker 1: if we want to think of practical ways to do this, 681 00:40:25,040 --> 00:40:28,479 Speaker 1: the one if you want to just kill it, then 682 00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:32,800 Speaker 1: you take the PS four tomorrow to the pawn shop. 683 00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:35,799 Speaker 1: I don't think you want to do that, but I 684 00:40:35,880 --> 00:40:38,400 Speaker 1: promise you if you do, it's going to end your 685 00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:41,279 Speaker 1: addiction pretty quick. So how bad do you want to quit? 686 00:40:41,880 --> 00:40:43,720 Speaker 1: Because you can take that thing to the pawn shop 687 00:40:43,760 --> 00:40:47,279 Speaker 1: tomorrow and you're done. I don't think that's what you're 688 00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:49,480 Speaker 1: asking me. I don't think that's what you want. But 689 00:40:49,840 --> 00:40:53,000 Speaker 1: I don't think that that's off the table. I think 690 00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:58,080 Speaker 1: that's a pretty good idea. So then let's move to 691 00:40:58,120 --> 00:41:04,760 Speaker 1: a second layer of practically stopping this addiction to playing 692 00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:10,320 Speaker 1: PS four. There are things I know I've seen this okay. 693 00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:13,799 Speaker 1: On your TV. For instance, if it's a smart TV, 694 00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:18,920 Speaker 1: most likely it has a timer on it, and you 695 00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:22,520 Speaker 1: could set the screen time monitor on the TV itself, 696 00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:26,880 Speaker 1: so you could say, at let me think of a 697 00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:29,560 Speaker 1: time you're probably playing late. So I'm going to say 698 00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:33,840 Speaker 1: at ten o'clock. Even that's late, that's late for me, 699 00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:37,320 Speaker 1: but we'll go with that. Say you usually play to 700 00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:40,000 Speaker 1: one am. At ten pm, your TV is going to 701 00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:44,160 Speaker 1: turn off. Now you could override that, and so it 702 00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:47,440 Speaker 1: depends on how heavy this addiction is. But if your 703 00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:51,920 Speaker 1: TV cuts off, do you have the integrity do you 704 00:41:51,960 --> 00:41:56,480 Speaker 1: have the willpower the self discipline to say, oh TV's off, 705 00:41:56,920 --> 00:42:01,279 Speaker 1: I'm done, ten pm, I'm cut off. You could do that. 706 00:42:03,160 --> 00:42:05,279 Speaker 1: There are also if your TV's on a smart TV, 707 00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:07,759 Speaker 1: there are devices you can get on Amazon that you 708 00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:11,160 Speaker 1: plug into the wall outlet and then you plug your 709 00:42:11,160 --> 00:42:14,440 Speaker 1: TV into that little nugget that you plugged into the 710 00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:17,400 Speaker 1: wall outlet, and that thing itself could be hooked up 711 00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:21,080 Speaker 1: to your smartphone or a timer on itself. They have 712 00:42:21,239 --> 00:42:24,040 Speaker 1: just analog ones that are just a timer, and it's 713 00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:27,239 Speaker 1: going to kill power to that TV at whatever time 714 00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:29,439 Speaker 1: you set. If you set it analog and you said 715 00:42:29,520 --> 00:42:31,640 Speaker 1: ten pm, it's going to kill power to the TV. 716 00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:36,319 Speaker 1: It's going to go off at ten pm. So there's that, 717 00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:40,000 Speaker 1: there's the smartphone idea where your smartphone's gonna remind you, hey, 718 00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,719 Speaker 1: no more screen time at ten pm. But all all 719 00:42:42,760 --> 00:42:44,680 Speaker 1: of those things are also going to rely on a 720 00:42:44,719 --> 00:42:48,000 Speaker 1: pretty pretty healthy self discipline, Henry, which I'm not sure 721 00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:50,560 Speaker 1: if you have. You have built this up, but that's 722 00:42:50,640 --> 00:42:52,560 Speaker 1: that's something that you build, by the way, that's something 723 00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:55,560 Speaker 1: that you grow. That's a strength that you will build, 724 00:42:55,680 --> 00:42:58,440 Speaker 1: just like a muscle. So self discipline. If you have 725 00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:03,600 Speaker 1: bad self discipline, that's something you could improve on slowly. 726 00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:07,840 Speaker 1: You could slowly build that and grow it like you 727 00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:12,880 Speaker 1: would a bicep. Right. But on top of all of 728 00:43:12,880 --> 00:43:15,319 Speaker 1: these things, all the suggestions I've given you, what we 729 00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:18,240 Speaker 1: need to do really on top of that is also 730 00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:23,600 Speaker 1: replace this with something else that becomes the new habit. 731 00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:27,479 Speaker 1: So you're replacing this old bad habit with a new 732 00:43:27,719 --> 00:43:30,279 Speaker 1: good one. And so how do we do that? Well, 733 00:43:30,360 --> 00:43:35,120 Speaker 1: we need to find something that is productive. This will 734 00:43:35,239 --> 00:43:37,440 Speaker 1: require you and I sitting in the truck driving on 735 00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:41,000 Speaker 1: a back road having a discussion. But let me just 736 00:43:41,040 --> 00:43:44,160 Speaker 1: throw some things out. We know reading is good. We 737 00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:47,040 Speaker 1: know reading is good, and reading could really help you. 738 00:43:47,040 --> 00:43:49,719 Speaker 1: You didn't even put a single bit of punctuation on 739 00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:52,200 Speaker 1: this email you sent. Reading could do well for you. 740 00:43:53,320 --> 00:43:57,279 Speaker 1: And so we would go into whatever FS twenty two is. 741 00:43:57,320 --> 00:44:02,000 Speaker 1: I'm not sure, but we could do whatever genre that 742 00:44:02,120 --> 00:44:04,960 Speaker 1: is and find some kind of action book that you 743 00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:08,400 Speaker 1: start reading that's like super easy to read, very entertaining, 744 00:44:08,719 --> 00:44:11,879 Speaker 1: and you go, Okay, when my TV cuts off at 745 00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:15,520 Speaker 1: ten pm, I pull out that action book. I pull 746 00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:18,040 Speaker 1: out this mystery book. I pull out the old Hardy 747 00:44:18,080 --> 00:44:20,399 Speaker 1: Boys book. If you all remember the Hardy Boys. It's 748 00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:22,799 Speaker 1: these two brothers that go out on these adventures and 749 00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:26,560 Speaker 1: they solve these mysteries and it could be really interesting. 750 00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:29,000 Speaker 1: And if you got hooked on one of those, then 751 00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:31,480 Speaker 1: you could be You could leave off chapter five, right, 752 00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:35,320 Speaker 1: You in chapter five, and you play your PS four 753 00:44:35,760 --> 00:44:38,719 Speaker 1: until ten pm, and then you go, man, all right, 754 00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:41,719 Speaker 1: I can't wait. I'm sad that I don't have to 755 00:44:41,760 --> 00:44:43,759 Speaker 1: get to start keep playing this ps. Four. But I 756 00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:46,680 Speaker 1: just remembered I'm on chapter six of this book that 757 00:44:46,719 --> 00:44:50,160 Speaker 1: I'm into. And so you go get your comfortable chair 758 00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:52,000 Speaker 1: and you get that book and you open up the 759 00:44:52,080 --> 00:44:56,200 Speaker 1: chapter six and you don't overdo it, but you read 760 00:44:56,239 --> 00:44:59,919 Speaker 1: just a little bit and you start cultivating a new love, 761 00:45:00,239 --> 00:45:04,440 Speaker 1: a new habit, breaking away from that other addiction. A 762 00:45:04,440 --> 00:45:07,560 Speaker 1: lot of ways to skin a rabbit here, but those 763 00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:11,120 Speaker 1: are some suggestions. And if you want to email me back, Henry, 764 00:45:11,920 --> 00:45:13,360 Speaker 1: if we can kind of follow up on this, I 765 00:45:13,360 --> 00:45:15,880 Speaker 1: would love to. It's these these This is why this 766 00:45:15,920 --> 00:45:19,120 Speaker 1: podcast is difficult to answer one question with one answer. 767 00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:22,759 Speaker 1: It's something we need to kind of walk through. But 768 00:45:22,840 --> 00:45:26,839 Speaker 1: if anyone has another question for me, email me podcast 769 00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:32,040 Speaker 1: at grangersmith dot com. Again, that's podcast at grangersmith dot com. 770 00:45:32,040 --> 00:45:34,239 Speaker 1: We'll throw it in the queue and we'll get to it. 771 00:45:34,520 --> 00:45:36,400 Speaker 1: I appreciate you guys so much, and we'll see you 772 00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:38,600 Speaker 1: next Monday. I want to leave you with a Bible 773 00:45:38,680 --> 00:45:42,399 Speaker 1: verse from Isaiah forty six to ten, and I love 774 00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:46,080 Speaker 1: this verse because it's it's reminding us of the sovereignty 775 00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:53,279 Speaker 1: of our God. Nothing slips past his hands. Everything is 776 00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:55,720 Speaker 1: within his providence. Let me read it for you Isaiah 777 00:45:55,760 --> 00:45:59,040 Speaker 1: forty six to ten, declaring the end, from the beginning, 778 00:45:59,440 --> 00:46:03,120 Speaker 1: and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, my 779 00:46:03,280 --> 00:46:08,400 Speaker 1: counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose. 780 00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:11,239 Speaker 1: See you next Monday. Thanks for joining me on the 781 00:46:11,239 --> 00:46:14,640 Speaker 1: Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. You could 782 00:46:14,640 --> 00:46:17,719 Speaker 1: help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If 783 00:46:17,760 --> 00:46:21,040 Speaker 1: you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit that little 784 00:46:21,160 --> 00:46:24,479 Speaker 1: like button and notification spell so that you never miss 785 00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:27,520 Speaker 1: anytime I upload a video. Yi