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Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hey, everyone,

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Speaker 1: welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is all about

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Speaker 1: the choices we make and where they lead us. The

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Speaker 1: dust has settled from the election. I almost didn't realize that, Hello,

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Speaker 1: it's November and that means that the holidays are a

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Speaker 1: common I love the holidays like I absolutely love the

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Speaker 1: special times of Thanksgiving and Christmas and Hanukkah New Year's.

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Speaker 1: There's just you know, it's all the feels. I love it,

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Speaker 1: and it's action packed. So at the same time I'm

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Speaker 1: loving it, I really have to work hard to keep

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Speaker 1: my feet planting on the ground to not completely lose

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Speaker 1: my shit because there's just so much going on, and

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Speaker 1: if I'm being honest, it's hard sometimes, or maybe it's

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Speaker 1: just that way for me. I don't know. I want

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Speaker 1: to talk about all of it, and I have asked

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Speaker 1: my hubs to come to work with me today to

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Speaker 1: talk all about the holidays and what they can bring

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Speaker 1: up for some of us. And we're going to share

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Speaker 1: some of our traditions with you and also some of

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Speaker 1: our challenges. Hey, babe, hi, So this is weird. We're

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Speaker 1: not even in the studio.

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Speaker 2: No, we can. I tell everyone we're in San Francisco.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we're in San Francisco.

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Speaker 2: Huh, Yeah we did. We did a little kind of

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Speaker 2: mini getaway before the holiday madness. But the holidays, like

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Speaker 2: you said, and the introduction kind of creeped up on.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it's November. We had such busy Octobers and

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Speaker 2: then all of a sudden, you do you hear the

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Speaker 2: election and now it's November Thanksgiving?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, what do you think of when you think of

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Speaker 1: San Francisco. I'm just curious. This has nothing to do

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Speaker 1: with what we're talking about.

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Speaker 2: Well, we got in last night and we decided to

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Speaker 2: watch a San Francisco themed movie. Can We ended up

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Speaker 2: on a very odd choice.

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Speaker 1: The fan.

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Speaker 2: You know, I looked at it. It got It's Robert

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Speaker 2: de Niro, Wesley snipes about an obsessed baseball fan San

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Speaker 2: Francisco Giants. He's crazy, got thirty five percent of rotten tomatoes.

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Speaker 2: But we both love it because of Hey it Bobby.

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Speaker 1: But it's so dark dark. This episode is not going

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Speaker 1: to be dark.

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Speaker 2: No, this is going to be holiday.

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Speaker 1: Christmas, Christmas, Christmas. Do you remember our first Christmas together?

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Speaker 2: Yes? Of course. How can I forget. Tell me, well,

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Speaker 2: we met December fourth, and you know, the holidays were

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Speaker 2: right around the corner.

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Speaker 1: Then, yeah, we met December and then it's Christmas.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, and so I've known you for two and

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Speaker 2: a half weeks, three weeks, yeah, whatever, And you invited

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Speaker 2: me over to the house where Mimi was Carolyn, your mom.

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Speaker 1: My mom my sister, your.

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Speaker 2: Managers, the whole team. Yeah, and so I just walked in.

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Speaker 2: I remember it was afternoon, was it like after we

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Speaker 2: did like afternoon, like two o'clock or something like that.

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Speaker 2: Walked in and that's the first time I met Mimi.

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Speaker 2: She was in the kitchen. I went hi, and she

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Speaker 2: looks at me, looks up at me, and she goes,

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Speaker 2: who are you?

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Speaker 1: This is my mom you guys call her Mimi. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: I just stood at her.

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Speaker 2: I'm Dave. She was like okay, totally like like a

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Speaker 2: look on her face of why are you here?

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Speaker 1: Would you say? That was pretty much the look on

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Speaker 1: everyone's face.

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Speaker 2: Uh huh. But you know, the people who are around

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Speaker 2: you put a nice fake face on, you know, like

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Speaker 2: what is she doing? Who is this person? She's only

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Speaker 2: met him or known him for three weeks? Why is

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Speaker 2: he here. I mean, did you think about that? Did

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Speaker 2: you did you think did you have any insecurities? Like

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Speaker 2: what is my family going to think? Like I'm having

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Speaker 2: this dude over for Christmas dinner. When I had met

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Speaker 2: the girls the seventeenth of December, I thought, I.

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Speaker 1: Thought they were gonna love them. It's gonna be so fun.

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Speaker 1: We're all here, there's food and we can just hang out.

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Speaker 1: I thought it was gonna be great. I didn't even

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Speaker 1: think about it. Honestly.

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Speaker 2: I literally remember a city at the table and everybody

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Speaker 2: just kind of peeking at me once in a while,

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Speaker 2: like I was sitting next to you and you kind

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Speaker 2: of had your hand on me, like reassuring me. But yeah,

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Speaker 2: I mean, looking back, that was that was stressful. That

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Speaker 2: was crazy.

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Speaker 1: That was That was a hard one for you.

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Speaker 2: Uh huh. But doesn't like when you think of the holidays,

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Speaker 2: does is stress the first thing that hit your brain?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Sometimes, And I hate yeah, I hate to say that,

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Speaker 2: but even when you were talking about in the introduction,

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Speaker 2: you know, because the holidays have kind of crept up

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Speaker 2: on us, I think to myself, oh gosh, yeah, like

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Speaker 2: you don't.

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Speaker 1: See it coming, and then all of a sudden it's

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Speaker 1: like Brym.

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Speaker 2: It's like, boom, what are we doing for Thanksgiving? I

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Speaker 2: asked you that yesterday. We don't know. Yeah, no, what

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Speaker 2: are we doing for Christmas? We kind of don't. We

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Speaker 2: don't really know. Usually we'll get to that.

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Speaker 1: Okay. I want to talk about this topic because I

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Speaker 1: know a lot of people deal with this. So the

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Speaker 1: topic of having to share Christmases after you've had a

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Speaker 1: divorce and your family is split in two, yeah, and

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Speaker 1: that has taken some getting used to for me. Honestly.

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Speaker 1: I remember the first time I had to hand over

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Speaker 1: the girls on Christmas Day. That year was rock bottom

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Speaker 1: for me.

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Speaker 2: That was the year after we met, and so we

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Speaker 2: had to kind of They actually went on a trip

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Speaker 2: with their dad, and it was just you and I

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Speaker 2: for Christmas, like literally just you and I because weird.

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Speaker 1: That must have been not as weird for you, but

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Speaker 1: super super weird for me because I'm this was Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I had already experienced I think a couple of yeah,

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Speaker 1: a couple of Christmases where Peter and I were splitting

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Speaker 1: the girls and I remember, you know, him coming over

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Speaker 1: to take them. In my mind just could not wrap

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Speaker 1: around the idea the concept of being without my babies

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Speaker 1: for Christmas or you know, having them go celebrate it

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Speaker 1: with some other female that had just come into their lives.

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Speaker 1: It was brutal.

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Speaker 2: Well, yeah, yeah, that was the case.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I got on.

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Speaker 2: The flip side, you know. I mean he Peter might

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Speaker 2: have thought the same thing, having me have Christmas dinner

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Speaker 2: and then have presence after only knowing me for seventeen days.

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Speaker 1: Well, but I.

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Speaker 2: Can that was a lot of emotions in those Christmases

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Speaker 2: for you when the girls would not be with us,

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Speaker 2: and so that first one was when we were together

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Speaker 2: after that first year we were married. Yeah, that was

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Speaker 2: really tough. That was a tough Christmas.

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Speaker 1: Do you remember what it was like when the girls

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Speaker 1: would go to Peters for Christmas? Like did you did

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Speaker 1: you feel my sadness? Or yeah, how did you deal

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Speaker 1: with that as the new person in the picture and

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Speaker 1: me going through whatever I was going through having to

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Speaker 1: give up the girls during that time? Like how did

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Speaker 1: you navigate that?

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Speaker 2: I mean, you know, probably selfishly, I was like happy,

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Speaker 2: you know, I have you all to myself and we're

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Speaker 2: on this holiday. But then also the empathy and knowing

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Speaker 2: like how you know, torn up even though you didn't

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Speaker 2: show it, but how like upset and like it just

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Speaker 2: was still kind of in the corner even though we

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Speaker 2: were having our Christmas together. But yeah, that was tough.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I remember just trying to always put on a

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Speaker 1: happy face, you know, and get through it. And I

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Speaker 1: was so happy to be sharing it with you. But

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Speaker 1: it definitely did not feel normal, and it definitely did

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Speaker 1: not feel like Christmas.

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Speaker 2: Right. I don't think we were sitting at home on

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Speaker 2: Christmas that year. We would usually when the girls were

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Speaker 2: going with Peter, we would usually kind of go do

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Speaker 2: something right, really sure.

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Speaker 1: Just the two of us. Yeah, I will say that,

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Speaker 1: you know, Peter and I, even in our darkest stages

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Speaker 1: of divorce, we really did try to keep the girls

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Speaker 1: surrounded by traditions, right and love and all the magic

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Speaker 1: that Christmas can bring for kids.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I mean they really didn't get anything as gifts.

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Speaker 2: I mean that was tough on thom.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's sarcastic, you question. No, this big

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Speaker 1: moment is where you know, it's really important, where you

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Speaker 1: have to put the kids first, I think, and you

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Speaker 1: have to think about their feelings and their needs. That

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Speaker 1: would be my major advice for anybody dealing with this

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Speaker 1: new reality you found yourself in. You've got to put

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Speaker 1: your shit on the back burner because the holidays are

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Speaker 1: for the kids. You have to make it all about them.

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Speaker 1: They deserve to that peace and and joy and have

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Speaker 1: all those wonderful memories. I think we all want that

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Speaker 1: for the kids, but sometimes we get caught up in

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Speaker 1: thinking about our own needs. But my advice would just

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Speaker 1: be to think about them first.

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Speaker 2: Right, I think we always did a pretty good job

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Speaker 2: at that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, now they're older, they make their own decisions about

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Speaker 1: where they want to be. I mean usually it's Christmas

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Speaker 1: Eve with their dads and then they come to our house.

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Speaker 2: And then get ready to what. Recently we've been going

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Speaker 2: on ski trips. We've kind of kept that tradition going

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Speaker 2: for the last four or five years. Sometimes, like last year,

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Speaker 2: we did it over Christmas. We were like we were

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Speaker 2: there for Christmas Day.

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Speaker 1: I kind of like that, like traveling just before Christmas

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Speaker 1: and being somewhere else for Christmas.

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Speaker 2: Last year was fun. We had eight suit cases, seven kids,

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Speaker 2: and apparently we have a we had a rab four.

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Speaker 1: Rental car.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that was we got through that. That was fun. So, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: we usually take the ski trips. We have not planned

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Speaker 2: a ski trip. Usually we drive. We like to drive

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Speaker 2: because we have four dogs. One year we drove up

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Speaker 2: to Tahoe. We took a eight passenger van like a

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Speaker 2: work van. But it's always an adventure. And as you know,

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Speaker 2: we've gotten, as the girls have gotten order, we've you know,

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Speaker 2: we've extended, family gets bigger.

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Speaker 1: There are kind of our nutritions, like our boyfriends come. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we're making new traditions. I think that's what's cool about

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Speaker 1: as a family evolves, like the things that were so

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Speaker 1: important to me to provide for them or for the

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Speaker 1: for them, things change, things shift, and now they're all

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Speaker 1: kind of at that age where they're seeing it's really

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Speaker 1: really more about just that family instead of well they

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Speaker 1: still love.

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Speaker 2: The gifts, yeah, of course, but I think we've made

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Speaker 2: with the little with the trips, that's more of the

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Speaker 2: gift than the actual gifts.

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Speaker 1: It is for me anyway, right, And I asked you question.

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Speaker 1: Then okay, so giving and receiving gifts can be people's

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Speaker 1: love language, right, Okay, so I have this. According to

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Speaker 1: Gary Chapman, the five love languages are one words of affirmation, compliments.

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Speaker 2: Oh, Gary said this.

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Speaker 1: Gary said this, Number two quality time, Number three gifts

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Speaker 1: do you give gifts to? You like to get gifts?

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Speaker 1: Number four acts of service? And number five physical touch.

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Speaker 1: So apparently one of those at least is your love language.

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Speaker 1: Maybe more. I think I kind of check off more

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Speaker 1: than one body.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say.

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Speaker 1: Like I don't fully like take care of one category.

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Speaker 1: I'm not, you know, the best any one of these,

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Speaker 1: but like I have a little tendencies in each one.

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Speaker 2: I think. No, there's not like a one solid glaring.

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Speaker 1: What would you say your love languages for me or

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Speaker 1: for you? For you? What is your love language?

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Speaker 2: I would say in that list, probably acts of service?

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Speaker 2: I mean I work in hospitality.

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Speaker 1: You like to take care of people.

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Speaker 2: I do that gives me joy to see other people happy.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if necessarily giving gifts. I'm also I

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Speaker 2: also my love language is music.

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Speaker 1: Okay, that's not on here. Wait I think that awesome.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I attribute like songs and stuff like that, and

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Speaker 2: I kind of communicate through songs. Yes, in a weird way.

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Speaker 1: We talked about like a teenage boy kind of well,

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Speaker 1: you know, when you sing your girlfriend and you're.

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Speaker 2: Like, I hope she goes, hope she knows what it be.

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Speaker 1: Send her the songs. It says everything I want to

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Speaker 1: say to that. Yeah, you do that all the time.

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Speaker 2: I still do it.

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Speaker 1: We love it though.

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Speaker 2: I love that I send it to I send songs

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Speaker 2: to the girls too.

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Speaker 1: It's really cute.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but I would say, what do you let's say, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you have a couple in there. What is glaring? One?

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Speaker 1: I love acts of service in me taking care of

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Speaker 1: other people. I love to take care of people as well.

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Speaker 1: I love to give gifts, whether it's like something I

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Speaker 1: bought or something and made.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you're a big DIY gift giver.

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Speaker 1: And then the quality time one definitely checks for me because.

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Speaker 2: That might be the number one for you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think being able to go on our annual

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Speaker 1: holiday trips has become one of the most important things

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Speaker 1: for me because that quality time there's no price you

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Speaker 1: can put on, you know, figuring out some way for

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Speaker 1: you to be with just your family for the holidays.

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Speaker 2: And also it's I like that too, because we we

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Speaker 2: really don't plan. And I think all the kids have

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Speaker 2: kind of like come to know that and they're all

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Speaker 2: it's just we're all just gonna have fun. Where are

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Speaker 2: we going to go to general figure it out. I

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Speaker 2: don't know.

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Speaker 1: Maybe that's a good idea for people to, like, think

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Speaker 1: about your partner and ask yourself what is their love language?

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Speaker 1: If you're having trouble, like finding a gift for somebody,

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Speaker 1: and then you can you can really think about that

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Speaker 1: and you can get that for them, or you can

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Speaker 1: make it, or you can carve out time to give

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Speaker 1: them something that will really speak to them and speak

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Speaker 1: to their love language.

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Speaker 2: Needs instead of just getting them socks.

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Speaker 1: But you like socks, I do like suck. I love

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Speaker 1: buying you sock.

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Speaker 2: I want all like as I get older, I just

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Speaker 2: want underwear and socks.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, oh my god.

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Speaker 2: That is I mean. I ordered socks the other day

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Speaker 2: on Amazon, like I need socks.

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Speaker 1: So anyway, ever put it on your list. Then how

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Speaker 1: do we feel about New Year's Eve? Though?

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Speaker 2: Well, you know how I feel about New Year's Eve?

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Speaker 1: Not a I just ask you, how do you feel

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Speaker 1: about New Year's Oh?

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Speaker 2: Like, how am I feeling about New Year's Eve?

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Speaker 1: You? What does New Year's You've mean to you?

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Speaker 2: Nothing?

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Speaker 1: Really?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Really? No?

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Speaker 1: You don't like sit and take stock and be like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, let me look back at twenty twenty

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Speaker 1: four and think about what I want for the next

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Speaker 1: year ahead of me.

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Speaker 2: I mean, can I be honest on your podcast?

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Speaker 1: Well, I would hope.

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Speaker 2: Well no, no, I don't. Maybe I should, but I

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Speaker 2: really I don't. I've never liked New Year's Eve. I've

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Speaker 2: never It's just one of those holidays where you feel

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Speaker 2: like you gotta do something. I'm happy for the new year.

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Speaker 2: I'm happy for the fresh start. I do like that.

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Speaker 2: But I mean, do you like New Year's Eve? I mean,

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Speaker 2: you've recently begun setting your agendas and stuff like that.

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Speaker 2: But we were never a big New year'sy people.

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Speaker 1: I used to party on New Year's Eve. What you're

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Speaker 1: talking about?

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Speaker 2: Jeez?

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Speaker 1: But now our New Year's E's are pretty quiet.

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Speaker 2: We found a great spot in the house for New

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Speaker 2: Year's Eve fireworks.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, I forgot last year.

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Speaker 2: I'm very excited about this year, you guys.

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Speaker 1: This is so I completely forgot about that.

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Speaker 2: You did.

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Speaker 1: Yes, we didn't do anything for New Year's Eve last year,

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Speaker 1: and we were home alone, which really really happened.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so that was kind of like a little holiday.

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Speaker 1: So we decided to go to.

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Speaker 2: Bed right at like nine.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and just like hang on bed, eat in bed, let.

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Speaker 2: You make it out. And then while we were sitting

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Speaker 2: in bed, unbeknownst to us, there was a firework show

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Speaker 2: in Pasadena across the way, and we get the road perfectly.

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Speaker 1: Only if you were laying down in our.

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Speaker 2: Bed you could only only if you're laying down. If

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Speaker 2: you're not laying down, you can't see it. You get

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Speaker 2: blocked out.

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Speaker 1: I think by that time, all the girls had gotten

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Speaker 1: home and I was screaming. I was like, come in here,

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Speaker 1: you guys, you got to see this, and they're like,

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Speaker 1: what what, I don't see anything?

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Speaker 2: Great?

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Speaker 1: No, no, no, lay down, you got to see it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's hilarious. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Do you have any New Year's resolutions? I think I

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Speaker 1: know the answer to this. But do you? Is the answer?

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Speaker 2: Now? No? Actually no, this year I do have what

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Speaker 2: I do?

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Speaker 1: You just said you don't care about New Year's even now?

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Speaker 1: You have resolutions all the time?

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Speaker 2: This year? Yes, I mean I feel but I'm not.

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Speaker 2: It's like it's more of like the resolution is now,

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Speaker 2: I'm not waiting till January first. It's kind of been

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Speaker 2: so yeah, it's been percolating. And then I'm hope you

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Speaker 2: know your plan is to move forward through twenty twenty five.

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Speaker 1: Okay, what is your new Year's resolution?

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Speaker 2: Then? New business venture?

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Speaker 1: You want to take on a new business venture, okay.

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Speaker 2: Which we've been trying to do that for a.

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Speaker 1: Year, and you're going to push it through this year?

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Speaker 2: I think so. Yeah, I know so. I truly feel

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Speaker 2: like life makes like plans it out for you when

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Speaker 2: you're really like I really really really really wanted this,

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Speaker 2: you know, and it fell through. Maybe I wasn't ready

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Speaker 2: for that, and now I feel like I am.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you got to. You gotta listen to the

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Speaker 1: signals out there.

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Speaker 2: What's your big glaring new Year's resolution?

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, hmmm. I feel like one of them

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Speaker 1: is because I I'm not the best disciplined at this well.

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Speaker 1: I'm so disciplined in so many areas. I get up

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Speaker 1: three days a week really early to go work out,

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Speaker 1: but I never knew that I want to add the

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Speaker 1: two other days I want to add to those days

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Speaker 1: to get up, meditate and go for a walk. I

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Speaker 1: love that still at six am, seven am.

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Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, that's good.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to go back though, because I like that.

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Speaker 2: Though. I think that that's good because when we first

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Speaker 2: met you. I used to get up early, and now

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Speaker 2: you're getting up like you've been getting up super early

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Speaker 2: in the last couple of years.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to go back, though, to talking about blended

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Speaker 1: families because I think maybe people might be interested in that,

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Speaker 1: and I'd love to know your take on as a

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Speaker 1: step parent. What have you learned over the years as

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Speaker 1: far as coming into someone's family and sharing the holidays

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Speaker 1: with them on such an now intimate level. You're such

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Speaker 1: an important part in this group of people's lives. Like

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Speaker 1: what would be your sort of advice for people that

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Speaker 1: maybe you're just entering into a new blended family situation.

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Speaker 1: That's a good question, because like this year or not

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Speaker 1: this year. A couple of years ago, we had Peter

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Speaker 1: over for Christmas morning, Peter and his Lily and girl

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Speaker 1: his girlfriend Lily, and we'll probably have invite them over

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Speaker 1: this year.

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Speaker 2: For Yeah, we had them over Christmas morning a couple

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Speaker 2: of years ago.

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Speaker 1: Yeh'll probably bring Jack. The baby that took Time's everything.

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Speaker 2: I would say it takes time. I think patience and

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Speaker 2: moving slow. I don't I think I was always there,

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Speaker 2: but I would always like, you know, navigate. There are

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Speaker 2: other relationships. I didn't want to be like, you know,

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Speaker 2: insert myself. I wanted that to organically grow and.

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Speaker 1: See you sort of like step back and let it unfold.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I remember you remember. This is a

399
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Speaker 2: funny examp of Lola. The first Christmas gift. You know,

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Speaker 2: I got them all Christmas gifts, and I had only

401
00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:09,440
Speaker 2: known them for you know, two weeks, and I got

402
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Speaker 2: her computer bag. I found this, like, really cool computer bag.

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Speaker 2: How old was she? Twelve?

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Speaker 1: And you thought a computer bag would be that's very sweet, honey,

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Speaker 1: that was cool.

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Speaker 2: I thought it was cool. And uh so then.

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Speaker 1: She was probably like, what is this?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well we got married and then you know, that

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Speaker 2: year went on and I found the computer bag up

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Speaker 2: in her closet.

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Speaker 1: No, it wasn't up in her closet.

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Speaker 2: Oh she was. She was throwing it away.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it was in It was in a donation bag.

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Speaker 2: That's right. So that's right, Thank you for reminding me.

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Speaker 2: That's right. It was in the donations bag. So you know,

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Speaker 2: I re wrapped it.

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Speaker 1: You took it out of the donation bag. She'd never

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Speaker 1: really nope, loved it and didn't use it. So she thought,

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Speaker 1: let me give this to someone who's going to love

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Speaker 1: it and use it and put it in her bag

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Speaker 1: to give away. And then you went through the bag

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Speaker 1: and took it out and wrapped it.

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Speaker 2: Uh huh yeah, do you remember that? Yeah? And I

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Speaker 2: gave it to her, uh when her thirteen, when she

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Speaker 2: was thirteen years.

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Speaker 1: Old, for Christmas and she opened it again. Huh oh

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Speaker 1: my god.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it was great. I did that with two of

429
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Speaker 2: her guests because I gave her a sweatshirt one time,

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Speaker 2: and it was a really cool sweatshirt, and then she

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Speaker 2: threw it in the donations bin. I reconfiscated that and

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Speaker 2: then regifted that to it.

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Speaker 1: I think you should just probably stop trying to buy

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Speaker 1: her things.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well it was always tough, but I think patients

436
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Speaker 2: and I think organically letting those relationships grow because it

437
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Speaker 2: wasn't I mean it was, it's always rocky in the beginning.

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Speaker 1: You probably put a lot of pressure on yourself too,

439
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:44,200
Speaker 1: like what to get each of those so stressed out?

440
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Speaker 1: So I just met them or even even every year now,

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Speaker 1: Like it's really it's hard. You got to stop and

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Speaker 1: really think about that person. Maybe you should do the

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Speaker 1: love language thing and think like each girl feeling a

444
00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:59,240
Speaker 1: Luca little think what it is that there's is their

445
00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:02,720
Speaker 1: love language, and then try to satiate that.

446
00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:04,160
Speaker 2: Give them acts of service.

447
00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:15,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, do something for them. I'm sure they love that. Okay.

448
00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:18,760
Speaker 1: We talked about resolutions, we talked about Christmas.

449
00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:21,840
Speaker 2: And the blended family. You were navigating that too with me.

450
00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:26,440
Speaker 2: How is that for you for holidays? Were you stressed

451
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:29,000
Speaker 2: out that? Oh? Were they going to like me? I mean,

452
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:31,240
Speaker 2: how is that for you? Bringing me over to Christmas?

453
00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:33,840
Speaker 2: You had only known me for two weeks? Were you

454
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:34,520
Speaker 2: stressed out?

455
00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:40,040
Speaker 1: I've been stressed out? Yes, Oh, I think I've always

456
00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:42,960
Speaker 1: been stressed out trying to make sure that the world's

457
00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:48,760
Speaker 1: merge with ease, you know, and everybody's happy. Because that

458
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:52,320
Speaker 1: I feel like, yeah, I've brought you into this environment,

459
00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:55,200
Speaker 1: so it's my responsibility to make sure that it goes

460
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:58,159
Speaker 1: well for everyone. That's a lot of pressure. Yeah, but

461
00:22:58,440 --> 00:22:59,280
Speaker 1: I've always tried.

462
00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:03,160
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, They've always been fun, They're always interesting.

463
00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:07,800
Speaker 1: Before we sign off, we do this on the podcast.

464
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:10,840
Speaker 1: So let's do it. You and me, Dave Abrams, what

465
00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:12,800
Speaker 1: was your last I choose me moment?

466
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:19,280
Speaker 2: Well, you're gonna roll your eyes.

467
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:23,199
Speaker 1: Does it have to do with golf? No, doesn't Okay,

468
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:24,520
Speaker 1: then maybe I won't rollin.

469
00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:29,560
Speaker 2: I mean I chose I had a crazy October with

470
00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:34,959
Speaker 2: work and it was constantly and I dropped you off

471
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:35,479
Speaker 2: at the airport.

472
00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:37,040
Speaker 1: Wait, wait, wait, I think I know there's this going.

473
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:38,399
Speaker 1: It has to do football, doesn't it.

474
00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:43,600
Speaker 2: Yeah. It literally sat all day on a last Sunday

475
00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:46,880
Speaker 2: on I just watched football all day.

476
00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:49,760
Speaker 1: You should tell people this isn't This is not just

477
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:51,200
Speaker 1: the last Sunday that you did.

478
00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:54,120
Speaker 2: This. I did two Sundays, and I chose me through

479
00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:56,520
Speaker 2: maybe three sundays in a row because you were traveling

480
00:23:57,359 --> 00:24:00,600
Speaker 2: and I was home alone, just me and the dogs.

481
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:03,679
Speaker 1: That's okay, that's good.

482
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:04,920
Speaker 2: What about you?

483
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:07,600
Speaker 1: Well, I certainly wasn't choosing to sit on the couch

484
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:09,480
Speaker 1: on a Sunday. I wish I was. That sounds good.

485
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:12,240
Speaker 2: I know I've missed you during football season. You've been gone.

486
00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:17,920
Speaker 1: What was my last night? I choose me a moment hmm.

487
00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:22,040
Speaker 1: You know this. This morning, I was laying in bed

488
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:25,479
Speaker 1: here in this beautiful hotel. What's the name of this hotel,

489
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:28,080
Speaker 1: Cavoala Point or something.

490
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:29,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think so.

491
00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:31,440
Speaker 1: Point.

492
00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:34,280
Speaker 2: To be honest, I'm not sure I know where you are.

493
00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:37,320
Speaker 2: We went to the airport yesterday and we got the

494
00:24:37,359 --> 00:24:40,960
Speaker 2: ticket and the tickets at Oakland. I went, wait, we're

495
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:41,720
Speaker 2: going to Oakland.

496
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:46,360
Speaker 1: Ah, so we just go with the flow. But anyways,

497
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:48,679
Speaker 1: I choose me went back to the back to me.

498
00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:53,560
Speaker 1: I was laying in bed this morning and I just

499
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:57,680
Speaker 1: you were in the other room watching football, and I

500
00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:00,320
Speaker 1: was just enjoying the moment. And there the sun was

501
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:04,679
Speaker 1: coming through the They had like these wooden what are

502
00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:09,560
Speaker 1: those blinds called, like those kinds, Yeah, the like slanty ones,

503
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:10,800
Speaker 1: slatty slatty ones.

504
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:12,960
Speaker 2: I don't know the name of MEI.

505
00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:18,639
Speaker 1: They're vertical blinds. Yeah, horizontal, same, they were horizontal. Anyway, anyway,

506
00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:21,119
Speaker 1: the sun was coming through them so beautifully, and I

507
00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:23,159
Speaker 1: just laid there and I enjoyed that feeling on my

508
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:27,600
Speaker 1: face and quiet and peace, and I thought, this feels

509
00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:28,119
Speaker 1: so nice.

510
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:31,480
Speaker 2: Have you seen you know, the sun's going down really

511
00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:35,080
Speaker 2: early right now? So the other day I stood outside

512
00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:37,480
Speaker 2: and there's like five five o'clock and the sun's going

513
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:42,120
Speaker 2: down and just breathed it in and that felt really good.

514
00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:44,720
Speaker 1: Is this your another one of your I Choose me moments?

515
00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:48,040
Speaker 2: Because I was just adding to the choose me stuff.

516
00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:50,040
Speaker 2: You can choose me in any moment. By the way,

517
00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:52,320
Speaker 2: if you just take take a moment.

518
00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:58,280
Speaker 1: Make a moment, take a breath. Well, honey, thank you

519
00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:02,120
Speaker 1: for being on the holiday podcasts with me. I love

520
00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:03,359
Speaker 1: going down memory lane with you.

521
00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:06,760
Speaker 2: Well, thank you for having me. I also enjoy going

522
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:09,720
Speaker 2: down memory lane with you a lot of memories.

523
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:14,560
Speaker 1: I do really like the holidays, and I loved getting

524
00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:16,280
Speaker 1: to share how we do ours with you guys. But

525
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:19,680
Speaker 1: the holidays can be hard for people for a lot

526
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:23,600
Speaker 1: of different reasons. Let's talk about getting through the turkey

527
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:25,679
Speaker 1: of it all. How can we take better care of

528
00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:29,439
Speaker 1: ourselves when all the family dynamics start kicking in. You

529
00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:32,399
Speaker 1: got to feel your feelings first of all, have your thoughts,

530
00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:36,600
Speaker 1: you know, maybe take an extra beat to consider the thoughts.

531
00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:39,720
Speaker 1: Make sure that you want to articulate how you're feeling,

532
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:41,840
Speaker 1: because you know, maybe it's not just it's not worth it.

533
00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:45,040
Speaker 1: Maybe it'll start a brush fire and throw everyone into

534
00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:49,480
Speaker 1: a spin. Maybe it just keep some things to yourself.

535
00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:53,560
Speaker 1: Maybe we don't have to say or believe every thought

536
00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:57,520
Speaker 1: that comes across our minds. And you know what, not

537
00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:01,520
Speaker 1: going is always an option too. You can say no

538
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:06,280
Speaker 1: to any situation or invitation you want, and you're not

539
00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:09,000
Speaker 1: a bad person for not spending time with your family

540
00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:13,359
Speaker 1: if it doesn't leave you feeling good. Sometimes people have

541
00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:16,680
Speaker 1: to have and I choose me moment and abstain from

542
00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:21,600
Speaker 1: putting themselves in environments that aren't healthy for them. And

543
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:25,639
Speaker 1: that's not selfish, that's just you taking care of you.

544
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:31,879
Speaker 1: For those of you out there finding this holiday season hard,

545
00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:37,640
Speaker 1: maybe harder than last year to navigate, I know how

546
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:42,040
Speaker 1: you feel. I've had good times, I've had bad times.

547
00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:46,960
Speaker 1: In this lifetime, we will all experience all different kinds

548
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:51,040
Speaker 1: of holiday seasons, So I say, savor the good ones.

549
00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:56,240
Speaker 1: But if this is a rough one, take it one

550
00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:59,160
Speaker 1: step at a time and be kind to yourself. As

551
00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:03,560
Speaker 1: silly as that might say, it's temporary. This is just

552
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:06,000
Speaker 1: a moment in time and you will get through this.

553
00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:10,639
Speaker 1: Today David and I talked about our traditions that we've

554
00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:15,080
Speaker 1: created together and that we look forward to every year.

555
00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:19,320
Speaker 1: So as we continue to choose ourselves each week, I

556
00:28:19,359 --> 00:28:23,280
Speaker 1: want to ask you this, what are the most important

557
00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:27,400
Speaker 1: things to you about the holidays? Think about it, write

558
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:32,119
Speaker 1: them down what's most important to you, and spend some

559
00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:36,159
Speaker 1: time reflecting about why those times are so important. To

560
00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:40,520
Speaker 1: you break those moments out so one you can prioritize

561
00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:45,880
Speaker 1: them and two you can really appreciate them when they're

562
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:49,600
Speaker 1: happening instead of just rushing through them with all the

563
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:52,120
Speaker 1: craze of the season. And you know what, if you're single,

564
00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:56,440
Speaker 1: have you thought about creating a tradition just for yourself? Maybe,

565
00:28:56,480 --> 00:29:01,240
Speaker 1: like every New Year on January first start your New

566
00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:04,760
Speaker 1: year by getting a massage, so you know, you can

567
00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:07,160
Speaker 1: begin the year feeling relaxed and calm. I don't know

568
00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:12,520
Speaker 1: what if we do this, Let's challenge ourselves this year

569
00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:16,840
Speaker 1: to try and create one new holiday tradition for you

570
00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:19,600
Speaker 1: and your family, or for you and your partner, or

571
00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:23,880
Speaker 1: you and your dog, or just you, whatever works for you. Traditions,

572
00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:29,600
Speaker 1: whatever they are, can be important milestones, like markers in

573
00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:33,360
Speaker 1: your life that you can look back on. In those memories,

574
00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:36,760
Speaker 1: they're gonna last you a lifetime. Thanks for listening to

575
00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:40,040
Speaker 1: I Choose Me. You can follow us at I Choose

576
00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:44,320
Speaker 1: Me with Jenny Garth on the Instagram. There, you can

577
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:47,080
Speaker 1: go onto your app or however you're listening to this

578
00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:49,400
Speaker 1: and you can rate us and review us, and you

579
00:29:49,440 --> 00:29:51,880
Speaker 1: can use the hashtag I Choose Me anytime you want,

580
00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:54,600
Speaker 1: I'll be right here next week. I hope you choose

581
00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:55,560
Speaker 1: to be here too,