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Speaker 1: Okay, we don't know when this is gonna air, but

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Speaker 1: I'm just going to talk about New York in this

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Speaker 1: moment because something has happened in the city of New

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Speaker 1: York that has been life changing, game changing everything. All Right,

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Speaker 1: So if you're a Knicks fan or if you're not

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Speaker 1: a Knicks fan, it doesn't really matter, because everywhere in

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Speaker 1: the city there's been this crazy electricity, this crazy connectivity.

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Speaker 1: You see a Wall Street guy in a Patagonia vest

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Speaker 1: high fiving a guy who's working on a truck, like,

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Speaker 1: everybody is together in this moment. And I realized one

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Speaker 1: of the feelings I love most of all in the

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Speaker 1: entire world is when a group gets together and feels

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Speaker 1: a collective sense of awe, a collective sense of wonder,

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Speaker 1: a collective sense of oh my gosh, I can't believe

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Speaker 1: we did this. So whether you're in the West Village

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Speaker 1: or in the Bronx, or whether you were up in

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Speaker 1: Westchester County or it didn't matter in Harlem, it didn't

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Speaker 1: matter where you were, we all felt the same feeling.

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Speaker 1: And I realized that's what is missing in life. People

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Speaker 1: didn't watch the game in their homes. They ran down

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Speaker 1: on the street to watch the game on a projector

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Speaker 1: on the side of a building because they wanted to

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Speaker 1: be in community. So I want to capture that again.

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Speaker 1: I want to keep that flow going, keep that thing going.

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Speaker 1: Part of the thing that we do at Joey one

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Speaker 1: h one my company, is we want to bring people together.

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Speaker 1: We want people to look each other in the eye

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Speaker 1: and hold hands and have a feeling. And the other

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Speaker 1: thing that struck me about what is going on in

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Speaker 1: New York is think about this. New York is a

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Speaker 1: one mile island, and on that island are people from

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Speaker 1: every country, every religion. They speak all the languages, and

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Speaker 1: somehow we're all squeezed in on this island. And I

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Speaker 1: always thought, if New York City can work, then the

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Speaker 1: world can work. If everybody can live on top of

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Speaker 1: each other and work, then the world should be able

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Speaker 1: to work. It's just another beautiful thing about New York City,

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Speaker 1: a place that I love, a place that has come alive,

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Speaker 1: a place that feels kind of reborn. It's a beautiful

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Speaker 1: time to be alive in New York City. Which brings

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Speaker 1: me to my next guest. Because when I think about

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Speaker 1: collective AWE, I think of music. I think of think

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Speaker 1: about your favorite concert. Think about how you felt when

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Speaker 1: you're in the audience and you're sweating because it's outdoor

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Speaker 1: and everyone is swaying together, and sometimes you feel like

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Speaker 1: the singer makes eye contact with you. There's nothing better

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Speaker 1: than that feeling. It's like, oh my god, she saw me,

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Speaker 1: he saw me. One of the greatest singers on earth

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Speaker 1: is a Grammy winner multiple times over. Her name is

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Speaker 1: Pat Bennett. She and her husband Neil created magic for

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Speaker 1: all of us for so many years. Pat is one

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Speaker 1: of those people that if you've ever seen her in

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Speaker 1: concert or even heard her song on anywhere, Spotify, the radio,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't matter. You just feel uplifted. She defines collective awe.

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Speaker 1: She and her husband combined have done things that no

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Speaker 1: other musical artists have ever done. Well. Now Pat and

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Speaker 1: her husband are not only parents, their grandparents, and they

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Speaker 1: are living this beautiful life and they are continuing to sing.

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Speaker 1: So I would like you to welcome to my podcast,

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Speaker 1: Pat Benattar and her husband Neil. I'm so excited to

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Speaker 1: talk with you. I mean, I was just talking at

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Speaker 1: the top of this about like what it's like to

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Speaker 1: be in like collective awe and we're talking about how

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Speaker 1: the Knicks won the title and how was that crazy?

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Speaker 1: I mean, and I saw so many parallels. I was

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Speaker 1: so happy we were interviewing you today because when I

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Speaker 1: saw the crowds on the street and everybody and everybody

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Speaker 1: feeling the vibe, I mean to I was imagining your

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Speaker 1: life what it must feel like to not like that,

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Speaker 1: but it's that feeling. It's like, like I get that

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Speaker 1: feeling from this morning event concerts when it's like a

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Speaker 1: collective wow. So when you guys, when you guys are

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Speaker 1: on stage and you see what you've been able to witness,

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Speaker 1: only a few people get that perspective describe what it's

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Speaker 1: like to be on stage in a moment like that.

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Speaker 2: Pat, It's just I mean, it's great because we're together.

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Speaker 2: That's great. And it's this is our forty seventh anniversary

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Speaker 2: this year.

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Speaker 1: Wait, you said forty seven.

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Speaker 2: Forty seventh musical anniversary. So we've been performing together since

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Speaker 2: we were basically children, and you know, and yeah, so

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Speaker 2: it's great. I mean, he's great. He's like crank, you know,

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Speaker 2: he's having the best time. He loves to be out

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Speaker 2: there being nuts.

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Speaker 3: You know, listen, it's it's chemical you know, it's you

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Speaker 3: get in doorphins they start coming out and you look

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Speaker 3: at the crowd and just playing music and trying to

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Speaker 3: be inside a song and seeing how the people react

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Speaker 3: and smile. They all smile together at the same time,

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Speaker 3: they all put their eyebrows down at the same time.

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Speaker 3: It's like a yeah, it's an event. It's like a

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Speaker 3: basketball game with more three three pointers.

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Speaker 2: And it's you know, for us, it's history. We've been

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Speaker 2: together for so long and all those things are you know,

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Speaker 2: going through your head really quickly as you're performing now,

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Speaker 2: all the times that you've been there together, and it's

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Speaker 2: it's just an amazing, great feeling.

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Speaker 1: And Pat, I loved hearing. I mean, I love hearing

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Speaker 1: about your life, but I love the fact that the

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Speaker 1: time that you knew that you could sing, you were

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Speaker 1: I think you described it being in fourth grade and

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Speaker 1: you were finally in chorus and you belted something out

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Speaker 1: and what did what happened in that moment that made

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Speaker 1: you realize, Wow, I might have something special here with

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Speaker 1: these pipes.

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Speaker 2: Because they made me go to the principal's office and

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Speaker 2: I thought I was in trouble, So I was like

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Speaker 2: something something's happening here. My parents had a They call

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Speaker 2: my parents and they came in after work and I

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Speaker 2: was just sitting on the seat outside the principal's office.

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Speaker 2: I just terrified that I did something really bad, and

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Speaker 2: you know, and yeah, so it was it was just

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Speaker 2: a moment. I mean we all have that, you know,

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Speaker 2: it's all everybody gets, that moment when you kind of

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Speaker 2: know that this might be something happening here.

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Speaker 1: So they they knew that you could sing. Did you

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Speaker 1: just love singing or was it just something you were

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Speaker 1: good at at that time?

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Speaker 2: I just sang all the time and too much to everyone,

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Speaker 2: sugar and and saying with Spider. Spider was an Italian

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Speaker 2: family Sicilian family play? And what time when do you start?

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Speaker 3: Six?

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Speaker 2: Guitar? Six six xtus Because his father wanted Neil and

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Speaker 2: his sister to play Italian songs after church. So you know,

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Speaker 2: you just do this from little and it's all you know,

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Speaker 2: and it's all you want to do, and you just

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Speaker 2: think it's so normal. None of it's weird. You know,

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Speaker 2: she's part of like breathing.

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Speaker 1: So that's so funny. So Neil, so six years old,

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Speaker 1: you get handed a guitar and what happens. Did you

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Speaker 1: just start playing it? Well?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, well not at first. I mean it was difficult

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Speaker 3: at six years old trying to play against steal and wood.

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Speaker 3: You know, your fingers aren't ready for that or anything.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, my father, my parents wanted me to do

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Speaker 3: these Italian songs, which are phenomenal. It was a lot

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Speaker 3: of fun doing. My sister played accordion, and it was

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Speaker 3: just something that felt like Patricia. When she started singing,

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Speaker 3: it felt so right to her right. And since I

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Speaker 3: wasn't very good at school, in school and at the

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Speaker 3: first grade when I was five years old, which was

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Speaker 3: a total mistake disaster, and when the guitar was in

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Speaker 3: my hands, it felt perfectly normal. I mean I felt

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Speaker 3: it really solved all the neurosis and problems I had

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Speaker 3: emotionally at that time. It just went, hey, here you are.

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Speaker 2: You know, I got It kind of finds you, you know,

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Speaker 2: it does. It finds you. You're just walking around in

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Speaker 2: the universe and music and art find you.

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Speaker 1: They do well. You know, when I was reading pat

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Speaker 1: about your life and how you had this boyfriend when

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Speaker 1: you were just a kid, and you went and got

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Speaker 1: married and decided that music wasn't going to be your thing,

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Speaker 1: even though you got into Juilliard.

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Speaker 2: No, I didn't get in.

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Speaker 1: I didn't go.

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Speaker 2: I didn't even audition because I didn't do it because

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Speaker 2: I decided to get married at nineteen like an idiot.

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Speaker 1: But so, so tell me about that decision. Why did

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Speaker 1: you decide to do that?

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Speaker 2: Decided did not go to Juilliard?

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Speaker 1: No, decide to get married at that at that age?

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Speaker 1: Why was that?

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Speaker 2: Because we were young? We were in high school sweethearts

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Speaker 2: and he was going to get drafted, and I thought

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Speaker 2: he was going to die in Vietnam, but he didn't

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Speaker 2: and I got married. But I needed a better last name.

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Speaker 2: My last name was Polish and really long. And then

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Speaker 2: I had a practice being married so that when I

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Speaker 2: met that guy that I would know how to behave.

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Speaker 1: Okay, first of all, how cute are you two? Where

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Speaker 1: are you? How come you're not in the same house

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Speaker 1: or are you upstairs and downstairs?

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Speaker 2: We're in our separate offices.

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Speaker 1: Oh oh, you're in the same house.

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Speaker 2: We always do it like because I like my better

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Speaker 2: lighting and I don't like his lighting.

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Speaker 1: We just know, you know, most people who've been married

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Speaker 1: for this long work together, live together, do interviews together.

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Speaker 1: Do everything together. Get I don't know how can can

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Speaker 1: can keep this up? Most most married couples can't put

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Speaker 1: together a piece of Ikea furniture before they're like, get

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Speaker 1: away from me, I need my space.

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Speaker 2: What's the mad days to? Mostly poor him? You know,

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Speaker 2: I'm pretty bossy, but he's real nice, and I don't know,

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Speaker 2: we just like each other. We still really like each other, I.

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Speaker 1: Think by the way you can tell, by the way

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Speaker 1: you can feel it. Okay, So, so pat, after you've

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Speaker 1: had this, this marriage and this and this bank teller business,

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Speaker 1: you decided to go down the music road, just tell

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Speaker 1: me that story.

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Speaker 2: You know. We were stationed at Fort Lee. So I

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Speaker 2: was I just I was working in a bank and

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Speaker 2: going to school part time for singing. But you know,

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Speaker 2: I had no intentions of really doing anything professionally. I'd

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Speaker 2: just given it up by that point. And I don't know,

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Speaker 2: I just got I just got sick of me and

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Speaker 2: having a regular life. And I just looked in the

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Speaker 2: paper and they had kind of like their their version

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Speaker 2: of the Village Voice, and it had like, you know,

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Speaker 2: ads about like singer wanted, you know, all this kind stuff.

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Speaker 2: So there was an ad for some band that was

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Speaker 2: looking for a singer, and I just I said okay, fine,

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Speaker 2: and I went and I did it, and that was it.

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Speaker 2: And I just, you know, I did that for a

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Speaker 2: few years, and then I moved back to New York

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Speaker 2: in seventy five, which was maybe the last time the

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Speaker 2: Nicks had got glad when I got full circle.

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Speaker 3: Full circle, probably so.

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Speaker 1: But breaking in a New York ain't easy. It's not

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Speaker 1: easy for anyone, and it wasn't easy for women in

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Speaker 1: rock and roll during that time. So how did you

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Speaker 1: crack that nut?

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Speaker 2: I don't know. I mean, it was just I was

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Speaker 2: hell bent on doing it, and I just, I mean,

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Speaker 2: I had no idea what the plan with Spider was.

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Speaker 2: You know, we call him Spider, so that's me. But

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Speaker 2: Spider was Spider was already playing with Rick Darringer when I.

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Speaker 3: Met about you talk about you, Patricia.

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Speaker 2: But wait, I want to get the time frame, so

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Speaker 2: we when he and I met, I was I had

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Speaker 2: already signed a record deal. I mean, I worked for

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Speaker 2: a long time. I worked from seventy five to seventy eight,

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Speaker 2: and I worked with the songwriters. As soon as I

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Speaker 2: started working with songwriters, I wasn't writing songs yet, but

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Speaker 2: I started my voice, my own voice started to emerge,

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Speaker 2: because before that I was singing songs that were by

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Speaker 2: other people, and you know, you always have that tendency

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Speaker 2: to kind of emulate a little bit. So the minute

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Speaker 2: I started working on original songs with others, my voice

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Speaker 2: started to emerge. But it wasn't really there yet, but

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Speaker 2: the idea was there, and I had the idea. And

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Speaker 2: then when he and I met, it was great because

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Speaker 2: he was ahead of me because he had been playing

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Speaker 2: with Dereger. They were playing stadiums. I was just beginning,

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Speaker 2: and the two of us together, it was just a

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Speaker 2: perfect match, you know. And you know we basically we

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Speaker 2: basically put that band together and learned everything, you know,

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Speaker 2: just the two of us, and that's how it started.

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Speaker 1: So so Neil, I mean, you know, when when you

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Speaker 1: think of a lot of these duos, there are usually

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Speaker 1: two dudes. When you walked in and saw pat and

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Speaker 1: thought to yourself, am I going to be teamed up

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Speaker 1: with her? What were your thoughts?

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Speaker 3: Well, I make a joke out of this, and Patrician

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Speaker 3: knows it already. Is that when I received the call

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Speaker 3: because I just finished making this record with Rick Drenger.

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Speaker 3: So I got this call to meet this singer that

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Speaker 3: wanted to put a band together, and then I didn't.

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Speaker 3: I says, maybe I've heard of him before, and the

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Speaker 3: person said, well, it's not a him, it's her. And

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Speaker 3: the first thing I said was she is she good looking?

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Speaker 3: And I'm just kidding around. I'm just being likety.

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Speaker 2: You're only twenty three. What were you going to say?

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Speaker 3: I'm just moofi like that, honestly, though, honestly, you know,

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Speaker 3: it was a dream come true on so many levels,

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Speaker 3: right artistically. First level is that all I wanted was

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Speaker 3: to work with a great singer, and Patricia just excelled

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Speaker 3: at that. I even told them when we met, I says,

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Speaker 3: I hope you don't blame me, and I'm the guy,

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Speaker 3: not the guy responsible for destroying your voice, because there

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Speaker 3: is what we're gonna do here is gonna be a

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Speaker 3: whole lot different than what you've been doing. So, you know,

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Speaker 3: I grew up in a household where you always respect women.

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Speaker 3: It was very important my sister. They used to make

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Speaker 3: fun of my sister and when I'd go to school

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Speaker 3: at the bus station, I would go there like four years,

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Speaker 3: three years younger than her. I'd go if somebody had

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Speaker 3: gotten like made fun of her, I'd stand up for her.

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Speaker 3: I'd fight him. I didn't care how big they were.

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Speaker 3: So it was really important that the respect for women.

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Speaker 3: So I really didn't honestly, god, I didn't care. All

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Speaker 3: I wanted was a great singer. Patricia was like absolutely

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Speaker 3: perfect and she still is. Look at her, She's perfect.

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Speaker 1: My god.

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Speaker 2: I mean, but it was it was kismet. I mean

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Speaker 2: when we met each other, we I mean it was instantaneous.

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Speaker 2: We knew on so many levels. I mean musically it was,

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Speaker 2: you know, I mean just insane. He just played one

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Speaker 2: court and I knew. I mean, I had been you know,

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Speaker 2: I've been working, like I said, for three years. And

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Speaker 2: everybody was patting me on the head. I was saying,

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Speaker 2: you know, I want to do this. I want to

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Speaker 2: be like you know, Robert Plant. And they were saying, well,

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Speaker 2: why don't you, why don't you be like live good

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Speaker 2: darling friend of ours, and she's having great success, and

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Speaker 2: I'm like, no, no, no, that's not what I mean.

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Speaker 2: I want to I want to be like Keith and

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Speaker 2: Mick and Robert Plant and Jimmy Page. I wanted to

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Speaker 2: like that partnership. And they were all patting me on

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Speaker 2: the head, going yes, but nobody really got it. And

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Speaker 2: then but my chapman got it. He knew and he

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Speaker 2: had known, he knew Spider because he had done the

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Speaker 2: record with Rick Nsure and and he said to me

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Speaker 2: in one of the meetings we had when I was,

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Speaker 2: you know, ripping my hair out about what I was

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Speaker 2: trying to do, and he said, I got your guy.

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Speaker 2: That's what he said. And he called the record company

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Speaker 2: called him, and then he came, you know, to the

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Speaker 2: down to New York. Were you in Bearsville? Where were you?

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Speaker 2: I was in Woodstock, Woodstock, and he came down. He

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Speaker 2: came down to New York to meet We were just

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Speaker 2: going to meet each other to see if we got on.

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Speaker 2: And well the rest is history.

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Speaker 1: So you know, it's so put you said, Patty on

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Speaker 1: the head, you know, someone said that. And look in

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Speaker 1: my career over many years, there have been many many

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Speaker 1: of those where people like, yes, we I'll get right back. No,

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Speaker 1: he's going to do that, You're going to do this.

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Speaker 1: Just that feeling and you're a fighter avi from the beginning. Uh,

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Speaker 1: pat But how did you like hold on to what

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Speaker 1: you wanted to do when I'm sure everybody said, oh,

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Speaker 1: you know, Linda Romstad, go down this aisle, go down

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Speaker 1: this road, go down that road. How did you fight that?

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Speaker 1: While it How did you fight it?

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Speaker 2: It wasn't I mean, it wasn't hard to do because

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Speaker 2: I was so convicted and committed. I mean, I just

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Speaker 2: I had an idea and I was absolutely positive it

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Speaker 2: could work. It was difficult in the fact that every

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Speaker 2: single day somebody was trying to stop you from doing

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Speaker 2: that or like, you know, just like I said, they

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Speaker 2: were just you know, condescending and you know, misogynistic, and

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Speaker 2: everybody was just like, yeah, okay, whatever, you know that

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Speaker 2: kind of thing. And so that part was a pain

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Speaker 2: in the butt. Yeah, that was just annoying as hell.

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Speaker 2: But you know, when we got together and we just,

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Speaker 2: you know, we were formidable together, you know, we because

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Speaker 2: I mean, you know, the way he played and everything,

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Speaker 2: and the balance of how I was singing, how he

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Speaker 2: was approaching the song and how he was playing, it

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Speaker 2: was undeniable that we had something happening, you know. So

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Speaker 2: I think that it was really I think we would

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Speaker 2: have done well on our own, each of us, but

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Speaker 2: together it was something entirely different, you know.

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Speaker 1: Neil, did you see any of the second of stuff

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Speaker 1: toward pat Did you witness it?

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Speaker 3: I mean, it wasn't. I was used to it because

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Speaker 3: of my sister, you know, people making fun of her

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Speaker 3: just being you know, looking at her as is whatever,

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Speaker 3: looking down. I didn't like that I said something, I

340
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Speaker 3: did things. I mean, I wasn't happy about it, and

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Speaker 3: I just tried the channel and keep ourselves so tight,

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Speaker 3: Patricia and I and the band keep it so tight

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Speaker 3: together that anything, you would't let anything, and you don't

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Speaker 3: infiltrate that.

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Speaker 2: He knew, he knew I was going to go in

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Speaker 2: there with guns blazing. He knew that, he knew me.

347
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Speaker 2: He knew what was going to happen when they did it.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I would going to the radio station. You've

349
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Speaker 2: probably heard the story. I would going to the radio station.

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Speaker 2: You know that we'd only have one token female on

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Speaker 2: the playlist for the day or the week, whatever you

352
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Speaker 2: just won, you know, And I would go in there.

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Speaker 2: And before I would go in, our record the record

354
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Speaker 2: company rep or the manager would say to me, don't

355
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Speaker 2: don't give him the finger, and I go okay. I

356
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Speaker 2: would come out and I would be smiling because the

357
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Speaker 2: the uh well, I guess I can't swear, but the

358
00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:17,320
Speaker 2: a hole of music directors said, why don't you just

359
00:18:17,359 --> 00:18:19,520
Speaker 2: sit down right here and we'll see we can get

360
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Speaker 2: that record played. And so of course I was like, yeah, right,

361
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Speaker 2: you know, like that's it. So I came out and

362
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:27,399
Speaker 2: they would go, you didn't didn't your idea? Yes? I

363
00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:30,320
Speaker 2: did so. I mean, Spider knew I was not going

364
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Speaker 2: to take any crap from anybody.

365
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Speaker 1: So what was the moment when people took you seriously?

366
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Speaker 1: I know that your music was great, you had I

367
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Speaker 1: mean everyone knows you, Pat, because when in fact, I

368
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:43,320
Speaker 1: was at the gym this morning, Oh I'm interviewing Pat Benatar,

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Speaker 1: and guys who were in their thirties and guys who

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Speaker 1: were in their sixties were all like Pat Benaitar like something.

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Speaker 1: There was a moment where everything crystallized for everybody. How

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Speaker 1: it affected all these generations.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I mean it was we were chasing it. Don't you think,

375
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Speaker 2: Spy that we were chasing it? I mean we were.

376
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Speaker 2: It was. It happened really quickly that when Heartbreaker was released,

377
00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:09,880
Speaker 2: you know, we knew we had it. I think that

378
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:13,760
Speaker 2: that when we recorded the song, the minute we were

379
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:15,840
Speaker 2: the minute we had that were rehearsing it, and then

380
00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:18,680
Speaker 2: when we did the first take, we knew we had it.

381
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Speaker 2: And I just think that we were chasing it. After that,

382
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,919
Speaker 2: we were running behind it. It had a life of

383
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:26,240
Speaker 2: its own. It took off and you know, it went

384
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Speaker 2: from clubs sold out and people out in the street

385
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Speaker 2: to you know, the next thing was arenas and the

386
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:34,840
Speaker 2: next thing, you know, it just kept going. So we

387
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:37,639
Speaker 2: were chasing it. I mean, it happened really quickly, and

388
00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:42,400
Speaker 2: you know that that pretty much convinced everyone you have.

389
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Speaker 3: To go behind a curtain which you which you don't

390
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:46,600
Speaker 3: know a lot of people don't know, is that when

391
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:50,199
Speaker 3: we started working together, we worked really hard, Patricia and

392
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Speaker 3: I and I would tell her all the time about

393
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Speaker 3: you know, because what I do is I don't look

394
00:19:56,640 --> 00:19:58,960
Speaker 3: as I don't think of myself as a guitar player.

395
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Speaker 3: I think of myself as we usician and a songwriter, producer,

396
00:20:02,119 --> 00:20:04,000
Speaker 3: and I only use it as a tool. I started

397
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,120
Speaker 3: playing piano when I was eleven. I started playing drums

398
00:20:06,119 --> 00:20:09,400
Speaker 3: when I was thirteen. So when we met, I basically

399
00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:13,400
Speaker 3: was telling Patricia, don't you want to write your own song?

400
00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:16,480
Speaker 3: Let's write our own stuff. And let's build this thing out.

401
00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:20,520
Speaker 3: And she listened, and she and that's the whole beauty

402
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:23,480
Speaker 3: of this. She was such a great early on. You

403
00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:26,280
Speaker 3: got to understand a great student in that because what

404
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:30,240
Speaker 3: she was doing prior was a lot different than when

405
00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:34,920
Speaker 3: we got together, when we joined rite ourselves together. And

406
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:39,280
Speaker 3: I had total respect for her at all times. And

407
00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:41,959
Speaker 3: when I heard her sing, I knew that we can

408
00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:46,240
Speaker 3: do anything. We could do absolutely anything we wanted, which

409
00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:48,920
Speaker 3: was perfect for me because I want to explore all

410
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:53,560
Speaker 3: these genres. So when it started happening, people took it

411
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Speaker 3: for serious, because you know what, we were damn serious,

412
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Speaker 3: and people they were going to mess with us. And

413
00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:04,119
Speaker 3: that's the way it is. You know, people say stupid stuff,

414
00:21:04,119 --> 00:21:06,600
Speaker 3: and they did and at radio stations and things like that.

415
00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:09,800
Speaker 3: But that that stopped, stopped right away.

416
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:10,800
Speaker 2: Yeah I did.

417
00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:13,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, success works, Pat would you have Do you think

418
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:15,720
Speaker 1: you would have made it without Neil?

419
00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:19,560
Speaker 2: It would have been different, for sure. I mean because

420
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:22,200
Speaker 2: we started that first record. We started in the heat

421
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:25,520
Speaker 2: of the night, and we had recorded six songs that

422
00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:30,119
Speaker 2: that that did go on the record that you all know.

423
00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:34,480
Speaker 2: But what what happened, I mean we recorded it with

424
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:38,879
Speaker 2: some of the top musicians in New York studio session

425
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:42,600
Speaker 2: people and great, great players, I mean amazing, and I

426
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:46,240
Speaker 2: just remember standing there just like thinking to myself, Oh God,

427
00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:51,000
Speaker 2: this is not it. This isn't it. And I remember

428
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:53,280
Speaker 2: that Terry Ellis, who was the president of the record company,

429
00:21:53,359 --> 00:21:55,800
Speaker 2: when we had done the six songs, and I knew,

430
00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:58,240
Speaker 2: I knew it was wrong. I knew it. And he

431
00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:00,600
Speaker 2: said to me, you know, it's the first I don't

432
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:03,359
Speaker 2: want you to expect too much. And I said, what,

433
00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:06,120
Speaker 2: I expect everything.

434
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:08,120
Speaker 3: He already knew though, Yeah.

435
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:10,720
Speaker 2: But he knew too, and we scrapped it and that's

436
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:15,680
Speaker 2: when my chapman called him. We recorded them again, the

437
00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:18,280
Speaker 2: one with the ones that we kept, and it was

438
00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:20,040
Speaker 2: a whole other thing, and that was it. And once

439
00:22:20,119 --> 00:22:23,880
Speaker 2: we once we played together, that was it was exactly

440
00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:27,600
Speaker 2: what I'd been hearing in my head. So I knew

441
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:29,040
Speaker 2: we had it. He knew we had it. I mean,

442
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:30,320
Speaker 2: we were just I don't know.

443
00:22:30,359 --> 00:22:33,960
Speaker 1: It was just it was a thing that was, you know,

444
00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:36,520
Speaker 1: and at the peak of all of this stuff, you

445
00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:39,920
Speaker 1: find out at one point path that you're pregnant. And

446
00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:44,320
Speaker 1: I found it so interesting that the record label was

447
00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:47,760
Speaker 1: like cool, glad you're pregnant anyway, No, that's not cool.

448
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:50,400
Speaker 1: They were like the opposite of this is what you're

449
00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:52,520
Speaker 1: doing anyway? Tell me about what that was like.

450
00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:54,919
Speaker 2: It was ignorant, It was ridiculous. I mean, we had

451
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:57,360
Speaker 2: been you know, we've been together, We were together since

452
00:22:57,440 --> 00:23:00,840
Speaker 2: nineteen seventy nine, and we have been trying to you know,

453
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:03,840
Speaker 2: we got married, which they hated, you know, I mean

454
00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:06,320
Speaker 2: they tried to they at the minute they realized that

455
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:09,320
Speaker 2: this was going to this was going to be an

456
00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:13,639
Speaker 2: unholy alliance. They loved it until they realized that we

457
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:15,520
Speaker 2: were so tight that this was going to be a

458
00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:19,399
Speaker 2: problem from now on. And they tried to destroy our

459
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:21,680
Speaker 2: relationship right from the beginning. I mean they what do

460
00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:24,080
Speaker 2: you mean, because they didn't want They thought that if

461
00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:27,280
Speaker 2: they could, if he was not there, they would be

462
00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:30,159
Speaker 2: able to control me better, which was a mistake, I mean,

463
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:31,960
Speaker 2: because that wasn't going to be true anyway. But the

464
00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:33,840
Speaker 2: fact is they were so dumb. I mean, they were

465
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:37,280
Speaker 2: so happy that we had done all this great work,

466
00:23:37,359 --> 00:23:39,800
Speaker 2: but then they realized that they had no more control

467
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:43,439
Speaker 2: when we got married. They were furious that we got married,

468
00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:45,440
Speaker 2: but you know, what were they going to do? But

469
00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:50,160
Speaker 2: They were really furious when I got pregnant. That is insane,

470
00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:53,040
Speaker 2: but they were so ignorant and they I remember the

471
00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:55,119
Speaker 2: manager calling me up and saying, why would you do

472
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:55,800
Speaker 2: something like this?

473
00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:57,000
Speaker 3: And I was like, what.

474
00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:01,159
Speaker 2: Are you guys? You got to remember the time of

475
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:03,399
Speaker 2: the world. Yeah, I mean the only other person I

476
00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:05,399
Speaker 2: knew that was doing what we were doing was Chrissy

477
00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:08,399
Speaker 2: Hein And I saw her backstage when she had Natalie,

478
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:10,640
Speaker 2: and you know, it was it was me and her

479
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:13,159
Speaker 2: and she I said, you know, how are you doing this?

480
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:16,000
Speaker 2: She goes, I'm not. I mean it was just there

481
00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:19,399
Speaker 2: was no handbook for this, you know, one of usually

482
00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:23,359
Speaker 2: one of you stayed home with the baby, you know whatever,

483
00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:25,680
Speaker 2: and now both of us were there. We never tore

484
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:28,840
Speaker 2: once we had Hailey, our first child off her daughter.

485
00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:32,280
Speaker 2: We never toured without our kids. We toured with our

486
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:33,439
Speaker 2: kids only.

487
00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:34,480
Speaker 1: Wow.

488
00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:36,520
Speaker 2: So it was nuts, But I mean you had it

489
00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:39,720
Speaker 2: just we were winging it and we had no idea

490
00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:40,280
Speaker 2: what we're doing.

491
00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:44,600
Speaker 3: We had fun, though, Yeah, you know, the manager being mad.

492
00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:49,360
Speaker 3: I you know, you could see that side of where

493
00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:53,200
Speaker 3: they were at. Because think about two things, money and control,

494
00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,679
Speaker 3: which was more important. So what they decided, what they

495
00:24:56,800 --> 00:25:01,280
Speaker 3: decided was the decided was control was more important. But

496
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:03,960
Speaker 3: then when they realized that, wait a minute, if we

497
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:08,800
Speaker 3: get control, we don't get creative, because if I can't

498
00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:11,640
Speaker 3: do what I do best by trying to make those

499
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:14,639
Speaker 3: songs that we write whatever and make them hits, they

500
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:17,719
Speaker 3: looked and went after So after we after we got

501
00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:21,919
Speaker 3: married and everything, it's it changed and things definitely changed

502
00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:24,399
Speaker 3: when they realized we still can make a lot of

503
00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:29,160
Speaker 3: money from them. You know, it just control and money.

504
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:31,440
Speaker 2: And they were never going to win. We were relentless

505
00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:34,000
Speaker 2: and that was it. I mean they just you know,

506
00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:35,760
Speaker 2: it was a fight. They were never going to win,

507
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:37,119
Speaker 2: so but they tried.

508
00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:37,600
Speaker 3: They did.

509
00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:42,879
Speaker 1: Just the spirit girl is so intoxicating, like you're you

510
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:44,639
Speaker 1: know what, it's so clear to you. You're like, no,

511
00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:48,000
Speaker 1: I was not quitting period, full stop. Were there ever

512
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:52,560
Speaker 1: any moments where the sexism, the manager, anything got to

513
00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:54,960
Speaker 1: you to a point where you were saying, pat, you

514
00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:57,200
Speaker 1: know what, like this is too much?

515
00:25:57,760 --> 00:25:57,920
Speaker 3: Never?

516
00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:01,359
Speaker 2: Never, because it made me so I mean I was

517
00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:04,760
Speaker 2: so feisy anyway, and I just got crazier and it

518
00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:07,960
Speaker 2: just made me crazier. I mean I was don't forget

519
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:11,920
Speaker 2: I sang classical music and musical theater for most of

520
00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:16,200
Speaker 2: my life before this, and I was a nice girl

521
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:19,720
Speaker 2: from Lindenhurst, Long Island. We sang and had a great

522
00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:21,960
Speaker 2: time in love theater and all that. And then you know,

523
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:26,159
Speaker 2: I wanted because inside was always this, you know. And

524
00:26:26,359 --> 00:26:30,199
Speaker 2: so once I, once I drug it out one spider

525
00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:33,680
Speaker 2: drug it out, I knew that was it for me.

526
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:35,720
Speaker 2: I was so happy to be there and I was like,

527
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:36,240
Speaker 2: bring it on.

528
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:37,480
Speaker 1: What do you got?

529
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:38,320
Speaker 2: What else you got?

530
00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:42,320
Speaker 1: What else you got? So what's what was harder? Motherhood

531
00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:44,960
Speaker 1: or being a music star? Oh?

532
00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:45,840
Speaker 2: God? Motherhood?

533
00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:46,240
Speaker 3: For sure.

534
00:26:47,359 --> 00:26:49,480
Speaker 2: Motherhood's like the peace cort. Do you remember the old

535
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:51,920
Speaker 2: slogan the hardest job you'll ever love?

536
00:26:52,359 --> 00:26:52,800
Speaker 3: This is it?

537
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:57,879
Speaker 2: Okay, this is not for the thing hearted. We've got

538
00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:02,680
Speaker 2: two monster daughters who are are just you know, they're

539
00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:04,719
Speaker 2: coming from here, you know what I'm saying. And they

540
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:07,800
Speaker 2: were just raised right they're crazy, and you know, it

541
00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:11,880
Speaker 2: was it's nuts. And he's the greatest. He's so good.

542
00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:13,120
Speaker 2: He's such a great girl.

543
00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:13,480
Speaker 3: Dad.

544
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:17,520
Speaker 2: He's like amazing. He did great. It was like a nightmare.

545
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:22,360
Speaker 2: I mean, how did you do it? Fabulous? They're fabulous.

546
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:26,600
Speaker 2: I mean they're such great women. They're just great. I

547
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:30,440
Speaker 2: mean they're so centered and solid and just you know,

548
00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:34,160
Speaker 2: just feisty. It's sweet, and I mean I couldn't asked

549
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:34,680
Speaker 2: for better.

550
00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:37,280
Speaker 1: How did you guys do it? I mean, how did

551
00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:39,159
Speaker 1: your parent on the road? How did you do it

552
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:41,359
Speaker 1: with this wild lifestyle? How did it work?

553
00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:46,240
Speaker 2: I wish I could say a lot of alcohol, but no, no,

554
00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:49,440
Speaker 2: I don't know. It was we were together. I mean, listen,

555
00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:51,800
Speaker 2: we could not have done this, I swear. I mean,

556
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:54,400
Speaker 2: like I said, most people. One of you was staying home,

557
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:56,000
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. One of you was in

558
00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:56,320
Speaker 2: the band.

559
00:27:56,359 --> 00:27:57,080
Speaker 1: The other one was not.

560
00:27:57,520 --> 00:27:58,080
Speaker 2: You know what I mean.

561
00:27:58,200 --> 00:27:59,280
Speaker 1: We were in the band.

562
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:02,560
Speaker 2: I mean it was insane. We had the best one

563
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:04,760
Speaker 2: of the best things that ever happened. I mean we

564
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:08,439
Speaker 2: were dragging, you know. We had road cases that were

565
00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:10,719
Speaker 2: built for their toy boxes so we could bring their

566
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:14,159
Speaker 2: favorite toys. I was I have OCD so arm like

567
00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:17,040
Speaker 2: a lunatic, so I wasn't putting them in cribs in

568
00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:19,879
Speaker 2: the four seasons I was getting, you know, I was

569
00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:23,760
Speaker 2: having road cases built for my cribs that I was bringing,

570
00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:25,760
Speaker 2: you know, So we were dragging all this crap with

571
00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:28,240
Speaker 2: us all the time. And it was insane, but you know,

572
00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:31,240
Speaker 2: they learned how to Haley learned how to walk. In Minneapolis,

573
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:34,280
Speaker 2: Hanna was roller skating in the forum, you know, out

574
00:28:34,359 --> 00:28:37,520
Speaker 2: inside the I mean they were riding their bikes inside

575
00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:40,520
Speaker 2: you know, Madison Square Garden. They were riding their bikes,

576
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:42,160
Speaker 2: you know, doing all kinds of crazy stuff like that.

577
00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:44,959
Speaker 2: And so they had a great time. They learned how

578
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:48,280
Speaker 2: to swim. We were in swimming pools everywhere across America.

579
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:50,360
Speaker 2: You know, they were having the best time ever. And

580
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:52,640
Speaker 2: they loved their bunks. They would get in the bus

581
00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:54,200
Speaker 2: and they would decorate their bunks.

582
00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:56,720
Speaker 1: Okay, how did they go to school? How did all

583
00:28:56,800 --> 00:28:57,200
Speaker 1: that work?

584
00:28:57,520 --> 00:28:59,200
Speaker 2: We only we only toured in the summer once we

585
00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:01,120
Speaker 2: had children and they were old enough to be in school.

586
00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:03,239
Speaker 2: We only toured in the summer because I wasn't we did.

587
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:06,000
Speaker 3: We did do it for one short period of time,

588
00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:10,760
Speaker 3: and that was a disaster. Yeah, disasters when they were little. Yeah, well,

589
00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:13,720
Speaker 3: when our oldest was little, the first one. So we

590
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:15,520
Speaker 3: realized that that's not going to work.

591
00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:17,680
Speaker 2: So we went in the summer. But the bet one

592
00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:20,280
Speaker 2: of the best days I ever had because knowing and

593
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:22,000
Speaker 2: you know, you were just kind of on your own,

594
00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:23,800
Speaker 2: and you know, there's not a lot of you're not

595
00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:25,960
Speaker 2: even though you have a lot of I mean, you

596
00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:28,800
Speaker 2: know people, you know people in the music business, but

597
00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:31,400
Speaker 2: you're really not really hanging out that much because you're working.

598
00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:33,720
Speaker 2: So were they. One day we pull up to a

599
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:36,440
Speaker 2: hotel and I see this this bus and I see

600
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:40,480
Speaker 2: these people unloading baby walkers and all kinds of stuff,

601
00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:43,520
Speaker 2: and I'm thinking, who is that because I you know,

602
00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:45,560
Speaker 2: our kids were bigger now, and I was thinking, Oh God,

603
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:48,480
Speaker 2: I'm so glad that's not us anymore. It was Bruce.

604
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:51,760
Speaker 1: Were dragged all these.

605
00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:56,400
Speaker 2: Like high five and we're done.

606
00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:01,720
Speaker 3: All right, good time with that. We were laughing, Oh.

607
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:03,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, what did Haley and how to think of mom

608
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:05,800
Speaker 1: and dad? Like when you were on stage, do you

609
00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:08,440
Speaker 1: have any memories of them watching or when they were little.

610
00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:10,320
Speaker 2: They loved it because they could play and they could

611
00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:12,360
Speaker 2: go everywhere and do stuff. But you know, the minute

612
00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:15,920
Speaker 2: they like turn like twelve thirteen, when they start being

613
00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:19,520
Speaker 2: embarrassed that you were like breathing. You know, this was worse.

614
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:22,320
Speaker 2: This was the worst. I mean, this was like just

615
00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:25,960
Speaker 2: until Hailey was really the worst. Hana was a little

616
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,640
Speaker 2: bit easier because she was the baby and it was

617
00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:33,719
Speaker 2: later but Hailey, Hailey hated it until she found out

618
00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:36,040
Speaker 2: we could get her into sea and sink backstage.

619
00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:40,240
Speaker 1: By the way, that's so brilliant.

620
00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:40,840
Speaker 3: And I did.

621
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:43,640
Speaker 2: I did end sync, yeah, and you know that I

622
00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:44,920
Speaker 2: had to do handsome please.

623
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:47,480
Speaker 3: I know the great The great n sync story is

624
00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:50,880
Speaker 3: I took him to see and sink, our oldest And

625
00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:53,880
Speaker 3: when I got there, a lot of the crew people

626
00:30:53,960 --> 00:30:56,080
Speaker 3: knew me from being an under road Hey, how you

627
00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:58,440
Speaker 3: doing nice to see everything, a sound man, all the

628
00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:04,200
Speaker 3: technical So next thing happens is she's got great seats

629
00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:08,680
Speaker 3: in the front. She looks over she can see me

630
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:12,440
Speaker 3: on the side of the stage, and she's going, well,

631
00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:14,440
Speaker 3: they just put me on the side of the stage.

632
00:31:15,480 --> 00:31:18,200
Speaker 3: She was so mad. I love it.

633
00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:20,840
Speaker 1: By the way, every time you say Haley, my heart

634
00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:24,280
Speaker 1: skips because I happen to have a nine year old

635
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:27,120
Speaker 1: named Hailey. Oh no, I adopted my two kids. I

636
00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:29,080
Speaker 1: have a seven year old named Hope and a nine

637
00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:32,120
Speaker 1: year old named Hailey. And every time you say Haley, like,

638
00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:35,040
Speaker 1: I get the warm fuzzies. Why did you pick that name?

639
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:37,720
Speaker 1: By the way, was it just just because that.

640
00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:40,360
Speaker 3: Was Patricia picked that I picked her middle name. I

641
00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:42,280
Speaker 3: don't even call her Hailey. I call her Gina.

642
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:46,240
Speaker 2: Her middle name is Gina. We call her Gina. But

643
00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:49,920
Speaker 2: but people will say, oh, you have three daughters, Haley

644
00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:54,040
Speaker 2: Gina and Haley is Gina. That's like crazy. But no,

645
00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:57,000
Speaker 2: I was, I don't know, you know, it wasn't Hayley Mills,

646
00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:59,880
Speaker 2: who I love, But it wasn't that. I just I

647
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:01,520
Speaker 2: don't know. It just came and I picked it.

648
00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:04,440
Speaker 1: I don't know, the same same I had the same thing.

649
00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:08,760
Speaker 1: So I read your very cute book about being grandparents.

650
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:11,280
Speaker 1: So I thought that was the first of all the

651
00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:14,160
Speaker 1: cutest concept in the world. You've got three grandkids, is

652
00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:14,520
Speaker 1: that right?

653
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:14,920
Speaker 3: Three?

654
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:17,200
Speaker 1: I mean, so they what do they think that all

655
00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:20,320
Speaker 1: grandparents were rock stars? Is that kind of what they thought?

656
00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:20,680
Speaker 3: Yeah?

657
00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:23,960
Speaker 2: Our oldest, our oldest Stevie, who's now eight, when we

658
00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:26,280
Speaker 2: started the you know, it takes a long time to

659
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:28,840
Speaker 2: get the book published and all this up, but she

660
00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:32,080
Speaker 2: was four when we started. And when we were just

661
00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:34,640
Speaker 2: talking one day and she was asking, you know, does Evelyn,

662
00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:38,040
Speaker 2: our's grand grandma go on stage? And I said no,

663
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:40,160
Speaker 2: I don't think so, you know, and she said, what

664
00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:42,400
Speaker 2: about her papa? Does he play guitar and I'm like,

665
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:45,640
Speaker 2: you like and so then we realized that she that

666
00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:49,120
Speaker 2: their scope of they thought everybody's grandparents did what we did.

667
00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:51,640
Speaker 2: So we started having the conversation that oh, no, no, no,

668
00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:54,200
Speaker 2: people do different things and they don't look like us.

669
00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:57,160
Speaker 2: You know, Papa's got tattoos everywhere and people don't have

670
00:32:57,280 --> 00:32:59,520
Speaker 2: that all the time, and you know, all these kinds

671
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:02,200
Speaker 2: of things. So that's how the book was. The concept

672
00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:03,720
Speaker 2: for the book was born, but that was because of

673
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:10,400
Speaker 2: the conversation with her. She does She's like, that's steviee.

674
00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:11,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's Stevie.

675
00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:12,960
Speaker 2: It was really fun to do.

676
00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:15,600
Speaker 1: What is the best part of being grandparents? What do

677
00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:16,240
Speaker 1: you love about that?

678
00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:18,080
Speaker 3: Well, what's not the love.

679
00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:22,200
Speaker 2: Everything? I mean, you have kids, so your kids a

680
00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:25,360
Speaker 2: little and you see how fast it goes Okay, yeah,

681
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:27,479
Speaker 2: it's over in a blink. It's it's just I mean,

682
00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:31,720
Speaker 2: it's it's a terrible cruel joke. You know that you

683
00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:35,880
Speaker 2: have them little for soul, little time, yes, and then

684
00:33:35,920 --> 00:33:38,080
Speaker 2: what happens is and you love your kids and everything

685
00:33:38,120 --> 00:33:41,280
Speaker 2: you do and everything, and then when you have grandchildren. No,

686
00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:44,760
Speaker 2: this is illness. This is this borders on illness. Okay,

687
00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:49,840
Speaker 2: you are so mad for them, crazy because everyone you're

688
00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:53,600
Speaker 2: getting a second chance, okay, and you can't believe you

689
00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:56,240
Speaker 2: have little babies and little children in your life again.

690
00:33:56,360 --> 00:33:59,200
Speaker 2: And it's not somebody else's kids. They're yours, you know

691
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:01,360
Speaker 2: what I mean. It's not somebody's kid in the park.

692
00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:03,280
Speaker 2: And you're like, oh, I'm holding a bit. No, they're

693
00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:04,560
Speaker 2: your baby. This is your baby.

694
00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:07,600
Speaker 3: Here's a different here's a difference too. Though. The difference

695
00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:10,320
Speaker 3: is really important to know, is that. And it's simple

696
00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:12,359
Speaker 3: and it's obvious that you know, when you're a parent,

697
00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:15,359
Speaker 3: you're around your children all the time, day and night. Right,

698
00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:18,520
Speaker 3: the grandparents aren't there. So when you do come, which

699
00:34:18,560 --> 00:34:21,160
Speaker 3: were there a lot, we're there a lot there. And

700
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:23,879
Speaker 3: my my favorite one, when we finally got the boy,

701
00:34:24,200 --> 00:34:28,239
Speaker 3: the grandson, so cash, I call him Cashish. So when

702
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:30,240
Speaker 3: we when we get to the house and I opened

703
00:34:30,280 --> 00:34:33,680
Speaker 3: the door and he goes bob by go Cashi, and

704
00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:40,920
Speaker 3: Patricia's in front of me with this big hug and

705
00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:43,200
Speaker 3: since he's the boy, I could give him like that

706
00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:46,160
Speaker 3: real kind of strong you know.

707
00:34:47,239 --> 00:34:49,800
Speaker 1: It's so fantastic, by the way, that is so awesome.

708
00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:53,640
Speaker 1: That is awesome, pat I'm just thinking about how many people.

709
00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:56,839
Speaker 1: You know, I was reading the story about you when

710
00:34:56,880 --> 00:34:59,000
Speaker 1: you were young and you went to a stadium and

711
00:34:59,080 --> 00:35:02,160
Speaker 1: saw lies and Ellie saying and it kind of lit

712
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:04,520
Speaker 1: you up. You were like, man, I could do that.

713
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:06,279
Speaker 1: Is that kind of how that went down?

714
00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:09,120
Speaker 2: Yes? I mean I was with my with my fabulous

715
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:11,759
Speaker 2: gay friends, of course, and they said you want to go,

716
00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:12,759
Speaker 2: and I said, sure, let's go.

717
00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:13,359
Speaker 1: So we went.

718
00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:16,319
Speaker 2: And the thing that happened, I you know, I love her,

719
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:19,080
Speaker 2: She's great. That was, But that wasn't it. The thing

720
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:22,239
Speaker 2: that happened is we were inside the Colisseum, and the

721
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:26,680
Speaker 2: Colosseum was empty, and I was in all those seats,

722
00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:31,880
Speaker 2: and I was looking around thinking to myself, huh, I

723
00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:34,239
Speaker 2: can sing at least as good as her, you know

724
00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:36,320
Speaker 2: what I mean, Like, wait a minute, wait a minute,

725
00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:38,640
Speaker 2: I can do this. So that's what it was. I mean,

726
00:35:38,680 --> 00:35:40,239
Speaker 2: it wasn't that we It would have it could have

727
00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:42,839
Speaker 2: been anybody. I mean, I'm happy it was arcas She's

728
00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:44,759
Speaker 2: at all, But I mean it was it had nothing

729
00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:46,880
Speaker 2: to do with that music. It wasn't about musically. It

730
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:50,120
Speaker 2: was about that I could see. I had the presence

731
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:52,399
Speaker 2: of mine to think like wait, a minute, I can

732
00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:55,320
Speaker 2: I can do this, I could, you know, and you

733
00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:57,520
Speaker 2: could do it. And that just started the whole thing.

734
00:35:57,520 --> 00:36:01,160
Speaker 2: And I had no plan, no plan. I just you know,

735
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:03,480
Speaker 2: had a lot of you know, just hood spot. And

736
00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:06,279
Speaker 2: I don't know how many people have.

737
00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:08,719
Speaker 1: Come up to you. I can only imagine and said,

738
00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:10,759
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, Pat, because of you, I did this,

739
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:11,920
Speaker 1: or because of you, I did that.

740
00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:15,600
Speaker 2: Women all the time, yeah, when spiders dies, because they're

741
00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:18,239
Speaker 2: always like I call my girls my girls all the time.

742
00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:19,000
Speaker 3: Everywhere we go.

743
00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:21,080
Speaker 2: He goes crazy and goes here the oh god, you know,

744
00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:23,480
Speaker 2: like so cute. I mean they're just darling and yeah,

745
00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:26,200
Speaker 2: I mean it's really it's amazing and I and I

746
00:36:26,239 --> 00:36:27,880
Speaker 2: would I would love to take credit, but it was

747
00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:29,200
Speaker 2: you know, it was a whole movement. It was the

748
00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:31,320
Speaker 2: time of the world. I mean, it was where America

749
00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:34,239
Speaker 2: was going. Everybody was in the same mindset, so just

750
00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:35,960
Speaker 2: right a place at the right time, and there were

751
00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:37,680
Speaker 2: lots of us going at the same time. So it

752
00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:39,040
Speaker 2: was great. It's great to be part of it.

753
00:36:39,760 --> 00:36:42,560
Speaker 1: This this this podcast is called joy one oh one.

754
00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:45,920
Speaker 1: It's something about I mean to me, like, there's a

755
00:36:45,960 --> 00:36:48,239
Speaker 1: lot of things that can bring happiness, and those are

756
00:36:48,239 --> 00:36:50,279
Speaker 1: all external you know, you can and they come and go.

757
00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:52,480
Speaker 1: It's like that I'm happy and now I'm back to me.

758
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:55,160
Speaker 1: And joy to me is something when you sort of

759
00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:57,560
Speaker 1: just like open your eyes in the morning and you

760
00:36:57,680 --> 00:37:01,560
Speaker 1: look around and nothing's happened, but you feel full.

761
00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:03,640
Speaker 2: You feel like it's gratitude.

762
00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:05,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, tell me what it means to you.

763
00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:08,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean right, you thinks by gratitude, I

764
00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:11,880
Speaker 2: mean just absolutely be grateful. I mean, you know, for me,

765
00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:13,520
Speaker 2: it's always like my whole thing is like if you

766
00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:17,160
Speaker 2: get to wake up the next day and breathe, that's good.

767
00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:20,319
Speaker 2: Let's start with that. You know what I'm saying. Every

768
00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:23,680
Speaker 2: day I'm seventy three years old and like every day

769
00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:24,359
Speaker 2: is a good day.

770
00:37:24,560 --> 00:37:27,680
Speaker 1: You know that kind of thing. So yeah, yeah, second chances,

771
00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:29,000
Speaker 1: it's important, second chances.

772
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:32,360
Speaker 3: The second chance? Is this the second chance? What I

773
00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:34,239
Speaker 3: mean by this is that a lot of people live

774
00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:36,640
Speaker 3: inside their head most of the time. They're not living

775
00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:39,160
Speaker 3: in the present, in the moment, and a lot of

776
00:37:39,239 --> 00:37:41,479
Speaker 3: things spin in their head, goes over and over again.

777
00:37:41,600 --> 00:37:44,400
Speaker 3: So if you could erase those, that's the way you

778
00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:47,000
Speaker 3: can have joy every day and movie every day and

779
00:37:47,120 --> 00:37:49,799
Speaker 3: be humble and grateful. Those are the things that are

780
00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:51,759
Speaker 3: important as far as you take your breath. When you

781
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:54,000
Speaker 3: wake up like that, it's it should feel special and

782
00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:56,400
Speaker 3: real to you. But a lot of people struggle, you know,

783
00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:58,600
Speaker 3: because they keep that internal loop going and it's not

784
00:37:58,719 --> 00:38:01,520
Speaker 3: a good one. Sometimes it's it's a lot of spirituality

785
00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:03,920
Speaker 3: you kind of need to address. And that's that's the

786
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:07,719
Speaker 3: that's where your joy comes. True spirituality. You could work

787
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:09,239
Speaker 3: on yourself and try to be true.

788
00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:11,400
Speaker 2: You know, stuff happens. I mean, it's not like we

789
00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:14,680
Speaker 2: had perfect lives. We had we had lots of stuff,

790
00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:17,600
Speaker 2: you know, lots of career wise, lots of of personal family,

791
00:38:17,760 --> 00:38:20,320
Speaker 2: all this kind of stuff, and things happen. It's not

792
00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:23,000
Speaker 2: going to be perfect. It isn't. But you know, if

793
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:25,600
Speaker 2: you can just get through it, if you can get

794
00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:28,240
Speaker 2: through and get on the other side, you get another chance.

795
00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:30,880
Speaker 1: Are you optimistic? Pat by nature?

796
00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:34,600
Speaker 2: Absolutely? I'm so full all the time.

797
00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:38,040
Speaker 1: So tell me, give me a give me how you

798
00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:39,799
Speaker 1: start your day and how you end your day.

799
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:44,800
Speaker 2: Wild Spider gets up three hours ahead.

800
00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:47,120
Speaker 3: She's asking you the question you you talk to you.

801
00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:48,960
Speaker 2: I know, but I'm I have to always make the

802
00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:51,920
Speaker 2: timeline like I don't sleep. I don't sleep at night.

803
00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:54,279
Speaker 2: I'm a lunatic. So I go to bed really late,

804
00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:56,839
Speaker 2: so I get up at like seven or seven thirty.

805
00:38:57,040 --> 00:39:00,520
Speaker 2: He gets up really early, so he gets his day going.

806
00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:02,080
Speaker 2: And you know, I stay up all night because that's

807
00:39:02,080 --> 00:39:04,160
Speaker 2: when I do my think, in my writing, my all.

808
00:39:04,239 --> 00:39:06,880
Speaker 2: That's we're in opposite schedules. But you know, it's just

809
00:39:07,520 --> 00:39:09,080
Speaker 2: you know, you just wake up and you just start

810
00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:11,799
Speaker 2: your day, and it's always it's always chaos, it's nuts,

811
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:13,040
Speaker 2: it's crazy, but it's good.

812
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:15,800
Speaker 1: Neil, do you have a rhythm, What do you do?

813
00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:16,960
Speaker 1: What's your morning routine?

814
00:39:17,120 --> 00:39:19,480
Speaker 3: I do. I wake up because I want to be awake.

815
00:39:19,840 --> 00:39:23,680
Speaker 3: That's the real difficult time me because everybody's sleeping, and

816
00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:26,719
Speaker 3: it gives me. Here's the philosophy behind it. If if

817
00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:28,279
Speaker 3: you wake up and it's dark, and you go to

818
00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:30,920
Speaker 3: sleep when it's dark, you get two nights in every day.

819
00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:34,840
Speaker 3: So if you think about that, right, So what my

820
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:37,080
Speaker 3: routine is very simple is I wake up because I

821
00:39:37,160 --> 00:39:39,359
Speaker 3: want to be awake, and I start writing right away.

822
00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:42,160
Speaker 3: I start writing. I drink green tea first day in

823
00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:46,280
Speaker 3: the morning. I since I found out I had silent

824
00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:49,480
Speaker 3: reflux because I'm drinking too much caffeine. I used to

825
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:54,880
Speaker 3: drink like fifteen twenty company. Yeah, yeah, a lot of

826
00:39:54,920 --> 00:39:57,279
Speaker 3: green tea, and I drank too much of it. So

827
00:39:57,920 --> 00:40:00,920
Speaker 3: I don't do that anymore. But that's the routine. I

828
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:03,359
Speaker 3: do that, and then a couple hours later, I wake

829
00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:05,680
Speaker 3: Patricia up, and by then I'm ready to go to

830
00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:08,480
Speaker 3: the gym. I hit the gym, and I eat three breakfasts,

831
00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:09,239
Speaker 3: and I'm ready to.

832
00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:10,800
Speaker 1: Eat the three breakfasts.

833
00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:11,120
Speaker 3: I love.

834
00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:13,320
Speaker 2: He's Sicilian, he's starving.

835
00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:17,120
Speaker 1: All eat Yeah. And lastly, tell me about the joy

836
00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:19,360
Speaker 1: and relationship. I mean, you guys put it on display.

837
00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:21,640
Speaker 1: I mean quite frankly, I want anyone who's looking at

838
00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:25,640
Speaker 1: this knows, But what is it about? Because because you

839
00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:28,160
Speaker 1: have to have that in between, it's not what you

840
00:40:28,320 --> 00:40:30,359
Speaker 1: are Pat and what you are Neil, It's what I'm

841
00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:33,920
Speaker 1: seeing between you two. So how do you preserve that

842
00:40:34,280 --> 00:40:36,040
Speaker 1: over all those years? Let me start with Pat?

843
00:40:36,719 --> 00:40:39,600
Speaker 3: What did you just learn, Patricia from your the psychic friend?

844
00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:41,320
Speaker 3: What did you find out that would be helpful?

845
00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:45,720
Speaker 2: You can that we are we are contracted together.

846
00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:49,920
Speaker 3: Who's the what? Who's the protector?

847
00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:50,680
Speaker 1: You are.

848
00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:55,920
Speaker 2: Ahead so as fierce and crazy as I am the

849
00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:58,440
Speaker 2: one thing I I that we just had. We had

850
00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:01,000
Speaker 2: a good friend who issch So we just do it.

851
00:41:01,040 --> 00:41:03,239
Speaker 2: It's like your greeting was really fun. And she just

852
00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:05,720
Speaker 2: said that because I don't, because I'm so worried about

853
00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:09,480
Speaker 2: taking care of everybody else, that the person I take

854
00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:12,239
Speaker 2: care of the leases myself. And that's pretty much true.

855
00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:15,680
Speaker 2: So she said that he is the one, that he

856
00:41:15,800 --> 00:41:19,200
Speaker 2: is the sole person whose job is to protect me.

857
00:41:19,880 --> 00:41:22,560
Speaker 2: So because I don't, I don't spend any time protecting myself.

858
00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:26,120
Speaker 2: I'm protecting everybody else. So it's just a perfect match.

859
00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:28,719
Speaker 2: And it's not hode I sort of God, it's so easy.

860
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:30,840
Speaker 2: It's not hard at all, and I you know, and

861
00:41:30,960 --> 00:41:32,960
Speaker 2: I'm we are so grateful for that. I mean, it's

862
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:36,279
Speaker 2: so it just rolls, you know. It's not like I'd

863
00:41:36,320 --> 00:41:38,919
Speaker 2: love to take credit, he'd love to take credit. Where

864
00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:41,880
Speaker 2: it's not like we have to have some kind of

865
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:44,160
Speaker 2: insight or some brilliance about how to do this.

866
00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:45,920
Speaker 1: We just do it.

867
00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:49,080
Speaker 3: And I can add to this, I can add to this,

868
00:41:49,239 --> 00:41:51,919
Speaker 3: and that is I used to believe that one person

869
00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:54,520
Speaker 3: had to be passive the other one assertive, but that

870
00:41:54,719 --> 00:41:56,960
Speaker 3: was wrong. I realized that was wrong. It took me

871
00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:59,000
Speaker 3: a long time to realize because I'm seventy years old

872
00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:02,600
Speaker 3: and I figured it out years ago. Right, So yeah,

873
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:06,600
Speaker 3: you know, so so passive and assertive. And in the

874
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:11,200
Speaker 3: family life, I'm very passive. That doesn't mean I'm not

875
00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:15,200
Speaker 3: assertive in taking, but just passive.

876
00:42:15,719 --> 00:42:15,880
Speaker 2: You know.

877
00:42:17,480 --> 00:42:20,640
Speaker 3: I don't go ahead have a great life. I don't interfere.

878
00:42:20,719 --> 00:42:22,680
Speaker 3: I don't want to. I just want to be that

879
00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:24,680
Speaker 3: guy and I want to be I want to have

880
00:42:24,719 --> 00:42:27,359
Speaker 3: a good time past. But as soon as you open

881
00:42:27,440 --> 00:42:31,759
Speaker 3: that studio door, assertive happens. And She'll tell you. I

882
00:42:31,880 --> 00:42:34,239
Speaker 3: guarantee when you walk through my door and you come in,

883
00:42:34,280 --> 00:42:39,680
Speaker 3: this is my world, this is my this is where

884
00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:44,080
Speaker 3: I live, and I'm on the cross everybody. I put

885
00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:47,719
Speaker 3: myself there too. So very assertive. But I've learned that

886
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:51,280
Speaker 3: you you need to have balance, except in the studio.

887
00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:54,680
Speaker 3: I'm keeping that at the other part. The other part

888
00:42:54,920 --> 00:42:56,680
Speaker 3: you have to be. You have to little, you have

889
00:42:56,760 --> 00:42:57,680
Speaker 3: to have a balance to it.

890
00:42:57,800 --> 00:43:00,480
Speaker 2: But again, we have fun, you know, I always still

891
00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:01,000
Speaker 2: like each other.

892
00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:04,719
Speaker 3: It comes down to confrontation, you know. I I don't

893
00:43:04,719 --> 00:43:08,640
Speaker 3: want to raise my voice. I'll direct the issue. I

894
00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:10,960
Speaker 3: will talk about it. But I'm not a I'm not

895
00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:14,040
Speaker 3: an instigator. I don't want confrontation. I just don't want it.

896
00:43:14,080 --> 00:43:16,520
Speaker 1: I don't have time for When did you said, Pat,

897
00:43:16,560 --> 00:43:18,920
Speaker 1: you're the one. Pat's mouth things, she's the one. Uh huh.

898
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:19,600
Speaker 3: He's insane.

899
00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:25,840
Speaker 1: This was a delightful conversation. I want to say thank you.

900
00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:28,680
Speaker 1: I love you guys. You guys are going on tour,

901
00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:30,800
Speaker 1: so you're gonna be We're going to post where that

902
00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:34,760
Speaker 1: is and all of those details. So thank you again,

903
00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:37,040
Speaker 1: so much. Man, I imagine so much about you.

904
00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:40,560
Speaker 2: It's so fabulous.

905
00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:44,520
Speaker 1: I like, thank you. Neil, have a good one. Guys,

906
00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:49,520
Speaker 1: you too, thank you. Wow, that was an awesome conversation

907
00:43:49,640 --> 00:43:53,040
Speaker 1: with Pat Benattar and her husband Neil. You know, it's

908
00:43:53,080 --> 00:43:55,280
Speaker 1: so funny. You know, I know her as a singer,

909
00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:59,600
Speaker 1: I knew him as her husband and fellow musician, but

910
00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:02,840
Speaker 1: I so much more about them. I think what was

911
00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:07,480
Speaker 1: their relationship is kind of what cracked open to me,

912
00:44:08,239 --> 00:44:11,640
Speaker 1: and how after she's seventy three and he's seventy and

913
00:44:11,719 --> 00:44:15,440
Speaker 1: they've been together for decades, just how they keep it

914
00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:17,719
Speaker 1: alive and how they keep it fresh and how they

915
00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:20,920
Speaker 1: keep it interesting. I mean, and I like how they

916
00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:24,759
Speaker 1: find joy. They are just I mean, you know when

917
00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:26,400
Speaker 1: you look at someone and you're like, I want what

918
00:44:26,480 --> 00:44:28,400
Speaker 1: they're having, Like, that's sort of what I feel like

919
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:32,040
Speaker 1: when I'm listening to them speak. Both of them. I

920
00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:36,399
Speaker 1: always admired Pat Benatara. Now I admire her husband equally. So, Wow,

921
00:44:36,520 --> 00:44:39,719
Speaker 1: what an awesome conversation. I hope there was a lot

922
00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:43,480
Speaker 1: you took away. There's a ton I took away from them,

923
00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:48,000
Speaker 1: and just how they find joy, how they find joy

924
00:44:48,320 --> 00:44:51,520
Speaker 1: in the every day, which is amazing. Okay, you know

925
00:44:51,600 --> 00:44:53,520
Speaker 1: I like to end with a poem, and I love

926
00:44:53,680 --> 00:44:55,920
Speaker 1: me some Mary Oliver, so I'm going to do a

927
00:44:55,960 --> 00:45:01,640
Speaker 1: little Mary Oliver. This one is called don't hesitate. If

928
00:45:01,680 --> 00:45:05,880
Speaker 1: you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy, don't hesitate, give in

929
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:08,720
Speaker 1: to it. There are plenty of lives and whole towns

930
00:45:08,840 --> 00:45:12,160
Speaker 1: destroyed or about to be. We are not wise and

931
00:45:12,320 --> 00:45:15,960
Speaker 1: not very often kind, and much can never be redeemed.

932
00:45:16,040 --> 00:45:19,520
Speaker 1: Still life has some possibility left. Perhaps this is its

933
00:45:19,560 --> 00:45:23,759
Speaker 1: way of fighting back. That sometimes something happens better than

934
00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:26,680
Speaker 1: all the riches or power in the world. It could

935
00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:31,040
Speaker 1: be anything, but very likely you notice it the instant

936
00:45:31,160 --> 00:45:35,120
Speaker 1: when love begins. Anyway, that's often the case. Anyway, whatever

937
00:45:35,200 --> 00:45:38,800
Speaker 1: it is, don't be afraid of its plenty. Joy is

938
00:45:38,920 --> 00:45:41,360
Speaker 1: not made to be a crumb. That is a poem

939
00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:43,960
Speaker 1: by Mary Oliver. I want to thank you guys for

940
00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:47,080
Speaker 1: listening to this podcast. We'll have many more good ones ahead.