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Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode about my design. Your host,

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Speaker 1: Kevin Pollock COVID nineteen edition. Yes that guy, what's happen? Nope, No, nope.

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Speaker 1: I don't plan on dying anytime soon, thank you, but

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Speaker 1: I digress. Let's meet our alchemist shower in no particular

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Speaker 1: order to say, he lod of Chris Albretto, Hi, new phone,

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Speaker 1: Who Chris? Any snack or treat you'd like to recommend

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Speaker 1: for those self quarantining Well, here's the thing. I'm a

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Speaker 1: pretty clean eater generally. Chart I've found I rediscovered my

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Speaker 1: love of Dorito's recently Doritos. That's it? Yeah, so perfect,

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Speaker 1: Parker Butts. It's Jessica Low Low lower and ju what's

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Speaker 1: your go to breakfast these days? I have rice cake

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Speaker 1: with some oln better and some honey. That that's correct.

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Speaker 1: Put the line outside of the coconut. It's Craig Kakowski cocowban.

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Speaker 1: What will you wear when we're told it's all okay again?

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Speaker 1: I think I'm gonna wear what I'm wearing now, which

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Speaker 1: is uh sweater on top, nothing on the bottom, gonna

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Speaker 1: Donald duck it, Donald duck in it. I wasn't sure

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Speaker 1: if we could use that particular duck because of copyright infringement.

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Speaker 1: Now that Disney Plus is a thing, hide your vaccines.

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Speaker 1: It's James Heeney, Jack Smack and the heat tones. What

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Speaker 1: time do you normally rise in the morn? These days?

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Speaker 1: I typically rice at the latest eight am? Um, the earliest. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, not the latest eight am. A good average

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Speaker 1: earliest is probably six thirty eight is the average latest am? Um?

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Speaker 1: Fair enough. But I'll wake up, like even if somebody

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Speaker 1: touches a door knob like next door, I'll wake up.

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Speaker 1: But I can you know, Yeah, I don't know what. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: ten am. You won't catch me asleep after that. Eight

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Speaker 1: a m is the average. Thanks so much, James, you're

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Speaker 1: such a giver and last, but blow the man all

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Speaker 1: the way down if you think him least it's Joey

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Speaker 1: Greer Jojo Bird. When do you think? Uh? Grig, wouldn't

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Speaker 1: do I think? Um? When do I think? May? Mid May,

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Speaker 1: late May June? It sounds like he's thinking now, I

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Speaker 1: don't know uh when I think? When I think? Also, Joey,

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Speaker 1: if I may, wouldn't you wear that hat? Because those

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Speaker 1: listening we're looking at each other through the discord app

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Speaker 1: not a sponsor. I'm I'm I don't know, I'm in.

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Speaker 1: I'm so inspired to call you, little buddy. Thanks. I'm

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Speaker 1: wearing a bucket hat but brim, the front brim is

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Speaker 1: flipped up and it's a whole vibe and I'm leaning in.

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Speaker 1: It's got a Gilligan thing working a little bit. When

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Speaker 1: I when this whole thing blows over, I'm going to

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Speaker 1: tell people I'm a captain. And uh, I feel like

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Speaker 1: we have all right to assume any kind of profession

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Speaker 1: after this whole thing is over. Yeah, I can't wait

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Speaker 1: for it to just blow over by Easter. Yeah yeah,

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Speaker 1: bye Easter. So uh so perfect. He's playing his part beautifully. Um,

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Speaker 1: all right, let's do a damn show. Almost all of

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Speaker 1: our scene suggestions today are gathered from your listener emails

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Speaker 1: or our patron v i P members. If you'd like

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Speaker 1: to submit your scene suggestions, please write to the podcast

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Speaker 1: at your name here at this dot com. That's your

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Speaker 1: name here at perfect um we. I can't tell you

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Speaker 1: how much these fresh emails mean to me during these

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Speaker 1: self quarantine times. To read all of your well wishes

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Speaker 1: through the Patreon as well as the alchemy this email. Um,

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Speaker 1: you guys really are crazy supportive out there, and apparently

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Speaker 1: we're doing some good. So let's get to the show.

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Speaker 1: This first scene is from patron v I P. Andrew,

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Speaker 1: who wrote, Hey, alchemists, love the podcast. Here's a scene

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Speaker 1: suggestion for you. All. The exorcism didn't work. At a

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Speaker 1: loss on what to do, the family is now trying

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Speaker 1: their best to live with the possessed individual. All my best, Andrew,

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Speaker 1: that's fine, you know, if everything's fine, it's it's just

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Speaker 1: a little heart at home. Um, okay, Margaret, marg Margaret, well,

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Speaker 1: just come over a different day for lunch. It just

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Speaker 1: doesn't please stay stay please? Um cold we maybe eat

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Speaker 1: in the die ing room. Uh well we actually we

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Speaker 1: can't write. That's kind of her domain. At the moment,

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Speaker 1: she's ripped the portal. Okay, Margaret into another dimension and

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Speaker 1: there seems to be these these dark crystals or something

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Speaker 1: opolis I'm not sure. Anyway, you said something about she

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Speaker 1: could she could uh like control the voices to the

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Speaker 1: point where it sounds a little bit like a show.

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Speaker 1: That's why I'm here. Yes, she has been able to

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Speaker 1: take over our bodies and use us as puppets. Uh really,

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Speaker 1: so dissent and lie throughout the household. But Margaret, please

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Speaker 1: put it down. So you said she had kind of

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Speaker 1: a Jennifer Lawrence impression working, Yes, she does it. So

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Speaker 1: that is that is pretty good. I just feel a

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Speaker 1: little less comfortable than I expected. Maybe we should have

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Speaker 1: dinner at my place and maybe she can't come. But

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Speaker 1: what is this about? Well, it's just that it's I

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Speaker 1: grew up deeply religious, and I can't help but think

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Speaker 1: that Satan's kind of crip on your daughter. I'm sorry, Vanessa,

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Speaker 1: of course Satan does. All right, it's beyond obvious that

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Speaker 1: this is what's happened. Okay, we had a botched exorcism.

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Speaker 1: You know that you're the ones pretty the goddamn rumors. Vanessa. Hey,

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Speaker 1: so I see that you're possessed. Thanks for meeting me

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Speaker 1: for dinner anyway. Um, that's what I wanted to get to. Oh,

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Speaker 1: whoa hold on? Whoa put down? Put it down? I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: I'd like a refund from the table. I was just

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Speaker 1: sitting next to a couple and they were just talking.

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Speaker 1: What's the problem. Well, there was a couple. I don't

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Speaker 1: vomited all over the table. Number one and then she

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Speaker 1: ripped the man scratch out and just started Jamin. Are

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Speaker 1: you familiar with social distancing, Sir? I am familiar with that, sir, yes,

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Speaker 1: I am. So why don't we just get your food

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Speaker 1: to go? That would be great? Okay. You know what,

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Speaker 1: I don't know what the hell they goddamn culture is

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Speaker 1: in your restaurant, but it's it's sick. It's sick. Spanish

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Speaker 1: and Spanish mean that. I didn't mean the actual food,

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Speaker 1: culinary culture. I meant that the the vibe. All right,

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Speaker 1: you know what I'm this is? Can I introduce you

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Speaker 1: to the chef? Please, Ricardo, there's a customer here that's

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Speaker 1: not happy. Okay, hello, Ricardo, Yes, there's a customer here

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Speaker 1: who is not happy. Yeah. Look, I'm just gonna leave. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I don't even I don't need to talk to you. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I don't need to talk to you. Come here, come here,

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Speaker 1: come close closer than six ft further. Do you see

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Speaker 1: that woman over there, the one who just ate that

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Speaker 1: man's crotch? Okay, yeah, that's actually the one I was

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Speaker 1: complaining about. Yes, Oh, there's no need to complain. Okay,

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Speaker 1: al right, well, there don't need to complain, all right,

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Speaker 1: I see myself Okay, please do all right, sorry to interrupt.

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Speaker 1: I I I see that you're you're you're having having

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Speaker 1: a nice meal here. But I don't know if you

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Speaker 1: remember me. I'm a father. Mokay, I performed your exorcism.

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Speaker 1: I I just wondering. How's it been going since I

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Speaker 1: just haven't seen you in a while? Okay, great? Great? Uh,

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Speaker 1: I hope you're having a great meal. Just can we

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Speaker 1: get you your special yes? Absolutely, eels and potatoes. Eels

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Speaker 1: and potatoes. Yes. So I was there. I exercised that

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Speaker 1: the hell out of it, and maybe fifteen thousand, sixteen

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Speaker 1: thousand demons emerged. And that's that. I mean, I'm just

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Speaker 1: out there doing these exorcisms laughing right, it's not even

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Speaker 1: a problem. Awful, well, good on you, good on your Desmond. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So it's only even a big deal. It's not even

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Speaker 1: something I care about, something I even like talking about.

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Speaker 1: But it's just something I do. You know, I'm just

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Speaker 1: really good today. I can ask you a question, mate,

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Speaker 1: it's not a big deal. Why do you keep going

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Speaker 1: on about it? And I don't know. Just people talk

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Speaker 1: about breathing all the time, and I thought I'll talk

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Speaker 1: about that. That's the same thing breathing, doing extra fifteen thousand,

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Speaker 1: sixteen thousand really shures speak told from me. But that's

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Speaker 1: just said. You know, just have that demon thumb if

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Speaker 1: you will. There's not even that many people in the county.

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Speaker 1: Where are you trying to do this? You know, I'm

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Speaker 1: saying the demons are infested inside an individual person. I'm

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Speaker 1: saying that's how many demons were in one person. I

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Speaker 1: just exercised all those demons. You're telling us sixteen demons

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Speaker 1: in a tiny little person. That's exactly what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: The sixteen demons probably even more right. How many points

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Speaker 1: have you had? Man relaxed with that? Okay, listen, I'm

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Speaker 1: the best exorcist in the county, and you're just a

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Speaker 1: little jealous that the Pope himself granted me a little

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Speaker 1: Metalian That says how I get to do what they do?

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Speaker 1: Let missing the medallion again? Here you go. Look, oh my,

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Speaker 1: it's a little pope on chocolate. I just took abide it.

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Speaker 1: Give it a plot there. Okay, Look, okay, look, sometimes

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Speaker 1: the chocolate, sometimes the medallis doesn't matter, all right? You

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Speaker 1: know I shouldn't even be talking to you guys anyway.

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Speaker 1: You don't even real exercise. You can't even do it. Well,

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Speaker 1: we can't save them all. We can't save them all.

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Speaker 1: I'm not even sure we should trade. What the hell

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Speaker 1: do you mean you can? Of course, we can see

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Speaker 1: for all the power of God with us. I may

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Speaker 1: not everyone has a hundred percent right like you do, Desmond. Well,

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Speaker 1: then maybe I'll just take a little script out of

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Speaker 1: my book. Maybe No, they see. The thing is, most

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Speaker 1: of us are getting about three or four Damon's per

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Speaker 1: this fifteen thousand things overwhelming three or four? Huh, well

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Speaker 1: that's uh what are you coming up with? I think

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Speaker 1: I'm averaging about a half demon prayer exorcism jus, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean I've done stop on. America's got talent. We've

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Speaker 1: got a young woman straight out of Pittsburgh. She's got

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Speaker 1: a lot of fire to her. Take it away. What

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Speaker 1: are you gonna sing for us today? Terrific? Take it away? Okay?

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Speaker 1: Going to the judges? Judges? What do you think? I

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Speaker 1: believe it didn't sound very melodic. I was expecting some

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Speaker 1: I don't know melody. Am I incorrect? Because you want

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Speaker 1: to change your your two and their judge because she

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Speaker 1: will eat your crop? Uh? Yes, it sounds pretty good,

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Speaker 1: it sounds funny good. I thought she was great. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I feel like Judge number one has it in for

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Speaker 1: her somehow. I don't know what the relationship isn't there. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I would like to see if she could sing in

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Speaker 1: a different genre, maybe some country and western. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I think it was great. I think everything that was

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Speaker 1: happening was fetazing. I love I love the energy. I

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Speaker 1: love five. It was said out of said if I

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Speaker 1: was if I was gonna say, anybody's good talented's you?

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Speaker 1: Is you? Did you really want me to can't do? Yes? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean if you'd like to go to the next round,

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Speaker 1: mean scouting Bergie. Yeah, I was right. In any genre,

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Speaker 1: it was very melodic that time. It's very melodic. Henry, Henry, I,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, we're gonna have to ask you to be

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Speaker 1: removed from the judge's panel. But why, well, what did

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Speaker 1: I do? Well? You were so scared, you've you've changed

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Speaker 1: to American for some reason. It scared the printed shot

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Speaker 1: of me. I don't know what to say. I had

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Speaker 1: I had a demon mouth right on my crutch. I

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Speaker 1: thought it was gonna be good, but it was bad.

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Speaker 1: It's real bad anyway? What does never left the stage?

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Speaker 1: My god? Maybe it was some kind of projection in

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Speaker 1: the mind. I'm not sure. But listen, you've losen your grip.

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Speaker 1: You're not in control of the artists, or the stage,

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Speaker 1: or yourself for that matter. We're going to have to

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Speaker 1: let you go from America's Got Talented. Bring you into

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Speaker 1: Burmese has Got Talent. What you're out of America's Got Talent? Henry,

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Speaker 1: you can't be. But I don't have another job lined up? No,

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Speaker 1: you do. It's but you know what forget? Uh, it's

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Speaker 1: just says here on your resume that you worked as

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Speaker 1: a oh, as a judge on America's Got Talent? Ye

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Speaker 1: is that right? I was a very popular judge for

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Speaker 1: a while and we split with I saw you a

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Speaker 1: very populic judge for quite a while. It looks like

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Speaker 1: three years. But you had a British accent during those years.

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Speaker 1: Oh not after the mouth of the demon got around

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Speaker 1: the crotch. It was the end of the British accent. Uh.

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Speaker 1: The demon, you say, got your crotch. It sucked the

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Speaker 1: Brexit right out of me. I see. So, so listen

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Speaker 1: here demon, I get some good news and some bad

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Speaker 1: news for you. The good news is I heard that

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Speaker 1: there's a new priest coming in and he's gonna fix

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Speaker 1: your right up. The bad news is, as soon as

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Speaker 1: that happens, we're gonna have to let you go from

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Speaker 1: this record label. So here he comes, now here he comes. Now, hello,

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Speaker 1: how do you do? Everyone's fine? Yes, yes, good, good, Okay,

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Speaker 1: al right, lively one, so lets some hold my bax.

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Speaker 1: There's leather from the pope. The Pope himself gave me

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Speaker 1: that leather. It's from the skin from other popes, so

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Speaker 1: it's really leather. Right there crying fantastic. Now alright, let's

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Speaker 1: do a little thing. It's the Mother of the House available,

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Speaker 1: no one, okays, just us here. It looks like this

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Speaker 1: is I listen, I'm I run this record label. I

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Speaker 1: brought her in here to have a meeting with her,

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Speaker 1: and I brought you in here as well. Underston, I

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Speaker 1: understand something interesting. So the mother, the mother is she

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Speaker 1: even hell house? Unfortunately she's not understand understand fun did

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Speaker 1: you need did you did you need her for the exorcism? Father? Father? Tim?

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Speaker 1: Can I ask coverle the questions? And please of course

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Speaker 1: you can. And just there's been some complaints. You're going

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Speaker 1: into people's homes trying, allegedly trying to help, and then

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Speaker 1: you're asking about the mothers. I'm going to people's homes,

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Speaker 1: going to people's place of businesses and asking for the

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Speaker 1: house mother and trying to figure out if she's there,

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Speaker 1: to get starting of what's happening. And that's all a

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Speaker 1: lot of I'm just trying to get a filled filled out.

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Speaker 1: But it's always about the mothers. You're always after the mothers. Curious, curious,

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Speaker 1: back into that area again, mutter Mary, I need to

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Speaker 1: find out where the mother is in order to exercise

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Speaker 1: the demon. Do you want to go get a point?

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Speaker 1: I'd like to get a point. Here, hold open the

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Speaker 1: indutry for a little bit. I can let's go get

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Speaker 1: a point. Can we get two points of beer? Of

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Speaker 1: course you could have two points the beer? Thank you

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Speaker 1: so much? There see two points of beer? To want

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Speaker 1: a chicken oner, Yeah, let's do that. Okay, put chicken

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Speaker 1: on the beer. Put chicken trying to put chicken on

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Speaker 1: the bear. Oh hello, father, Hello, father, father, father. How's

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Speaker 1: how's the exorcism business going? Pretty good? I don't know

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Speaker 1: if you ever heard of Columbia Records about how's just

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Speaker 1: up there to the new extracism. I was a member

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Speaker 1: of member of the club for many years. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: But anyway, I was in Columbia record just can turn

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Speaker 1: the town and saying what to six for a penny,

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Speaker 1: that's right. But so I didn't exorcism up there, and

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Speaker 1: they said I could take any record I wanted. I

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Speaker 1: didn't do it. You know, don't take tithings and anything

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Speaker 1: like that. So that's all. Just that's my day. That

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Speaker 1: was what I did today. Now, what about your father?

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Speaker 1: How to cows treating you? How are the cows treating me? Yeah, well,

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Speaker 1: you know, it's uh, you know, I have been assigned

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Speaker 1: a new flock literally, um so, oh it's it's been quiet.

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Speaker 1: It's been quite. My exorcism averages down to point three,

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Speaker 1: so that's not good. But it's very get much confession

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Speaker 1: out of the cows. They're tight lipped, I'll be honest

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Speaker 1: with you. They are tight lipped. And it's uh, it's

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Speaker 1: hard to purge demon from a cow. How so, I

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Speaker 1: bet it is. It's a little different in person from

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Speaker 1: a human being with a human soul, isn't it. Father? Okay,

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Speaker 1: we get it, we get it. Oh, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: don't take you do. A little cow running around there

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Speaker 1: is possessed. Oh no, I hope not. I hope my

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Speaker 1: meat isn't a little nealy. Well, do you know what,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna go back to that

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Speaker 1: first failed exorcism and try to right the wrongs. All right.

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Speaker 1: I just hoped, I just hope, hope, against hope that

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Speaker 1: the mother will be there. Mm hmm, okay, Bessie Elsie,

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Speaker 1: I got to go. I got to go. I got

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Speaker 1: to leave Ireland and go back to Pittsburgh. Don't I

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Speaker 1: hope you're understanding. Oh, you're all possessed. You're all possessed.

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Speaker 1: This is devil music. You're not gonna play this goddamn

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Speaker 1: album in my house. You're not gonna play that woman

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Speaker 1: is possessed and she will not have her voice ring

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Speaker 1: around through my walls. You understand this, This is my

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Speaker 1: goddamn home. I don't care how old you are. I

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Speaker 1: don't care if you're sixteen, and this is the hot

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Speaker 1: music you were a kid. Mom, when you were a kid,

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Speaker 1: people didn't like your music too that we're adults, but

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Speaker 1: you know what, this is what kids are listening to now. Well,

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Speaker 1: you're listening to some goddamn devil music, and that's a

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Speaker 1: fact to fact what makes it good, that's what makes

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Speaker 1: it easy to groove to. Mom. Well you're grounded me. No,

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Speaker 1: I'm talking to the wall. Who Hi, Welcome back to

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Speaker 1: see one Devil Music hour. Next hit is coming all

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Speaker 1: the way from Detroit. Sweet sounds coming out of motor

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Speaker 1: City once again, and they are the Devil Babies enjoying

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Speaker 1: six seven. Don't go Jase, and that scene one June

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Speaker 1: the Devil Baby is okay. See two comes from us

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Speaker 1: from Audrey, who wrote, Hey, Alchemist, Craig, I've been re

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Speaker 1: listening to the podcast Hello from the Magic Tavern because

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Speaker 1: that's where I am at right now, and heard you

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Speaker 1: as the scholar in a live recording. Do you remember

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Speaker 1: any of this, Craig, Yeah, that sounds correct. Show. I

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Speaker 1: love that show. Settle down, James. I was back to

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Speaker 1: the email. I was super excited it because again, that's

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Speaker 1: where I'm at right now. Could we hear the classic

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Speaker 1: scenario of a misunderstood kid running off to join the circus?

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Speaker 1: Thanks so much, Audrey. Thanks Audrey. Can I can I

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Speaker 1: talk to the clowns for a second? Please? You can't clowns. Whoever,

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Speaker 1: how are you? Yeah, listen, people in the front road

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Speaker 1: been complaining about the water. You're spreading the spits in

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Speaker 1: the water in their faces the splash zone. Don't you

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Speaker 1: think that maybe they'd want to move back. Yeah, none

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Speaker 1: of them were told it was a splash zone. Of course,

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Speaker 1: the plash zone. Yeah, less water. All right, Well, then

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Speaker 1: we're robbing all of the people that want to be

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Speaker 1: in the splash zone their experience. Yeah, nobody's saying they

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Speaker 1: want to be in a splash zone, saying it to me.

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Speaker 1: I I don't know. I feel like it's what your

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Speaker 1: family's Your family's coming to the matt and eight today.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna put them in a splash show and we're

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Speaker 1: gonna see how it goes with them. Oh, my family

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Speaker 1: doesn't like the splash show. They usually sit in the

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Speaker 1: upper seats. And which one have you seen Joe Joe

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Speaker 1: the dog Boy, dog Boy. I'm sure he's around here somewhere,

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Speaker 1: all right, let me know because I want some more

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Speaker 1: join if you see him. Mom, Dad, I um, I

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Speaker 1: did what you told me to do. I went to

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Speaker 1: my room because I know I was acting up, and

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Speaker 1: I wrote down a list of all my bad behaviors

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Speaker 1: and how I can be better. And then I wrote

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Speaker 1: down what I wanted to be when I grew up.

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Speaker 1: So here it is. If you want to read that,

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Speaker 1: I can read it for you. No, no, no, read it.

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Speaker 1: Read it. Your handwriting sucks out. Oh I'm sorry that

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Speaker 1: I just pinched your cheek. Okay, let's see here. These

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Speaker 1: are all the bad things you did. I didn't put

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Speaker 1: my socks away, my shoes were a little dirty, my

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Speaker 1: shirts weren't folded, and I got an a minus in math.

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Speaker 1: Well you know what that looks like to me? Looks

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Speaker 1: like trash. It looks like you failed, son, and not

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Speaker 1: only gonna read what you want to be at the end,

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Speaker 1: because I guarantee you it's dumb. No, it's it's not.

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Speaker 1: It's I thought. It's gonna be a doctor lawyer, and

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Speaker 1: that's that. Do you understand you're going to be a

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Speaker 1: doctor lawyer. You're gonna be just like your mother and

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Speaker 1: your father. Do you understand you're not gonna do anything else?

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Speaker 1: That's it. You're gonna sue the ship out of doctors

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Speaker 1: because that's what we both do. And then you're gonna

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Speaker 1: suit your up patients. You get it because you're a

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Speaker 1: doctor first lawyer. You know what it means. I know

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Speaker 1: what it means. Just just look. I'm not gonna look.

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna look at what you want to be.

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Speaker 1: You don't want to look. I'm a little curious. Are

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Speaker 1: you serious? Hold on son to go to the corner.

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Speaker 1: What the hell's wrong with you? Why are you? Why

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Speaker 1: are you undermining me? Right in front of our kids.

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Speaker 1: I'm not undermining you. I'm just trying to let him

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Speaker 1: express himself as a doctor lawyer should order in the court.

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Speaker 1: I think that's exactly what you're doing. Scalpel, thank you. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna slit your throat if you don't listen to

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Speaker 1: our song. Is that a threat that I will? And

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Speaker 1: then I will defend myself in court after I murder you.

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Speaker 1: But they sound like terrible parents. How long have you

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Speaker 1: been riding the rails, kid and searching your dreams? Two

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Speaker 1: and a half hours? So when I saw you hoped

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Speaker 1: this train, that was that was your first Okay? Well,

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Speaker 1: thank you? How do you What do we do for food? Well,

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Speaker 1: a can of beans is standard, but really you can

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Speaker 1: scrounge wherever you want. Yeah, that's a that's a possessed cow.

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't eat that has a demon in that cow? Sir?

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Speaker 1: Is it true that this train goes to the greatest

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Speaker 1: show on Earth? Well, that's right. The terminus of this

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Speaker 1: train is at the Ringling Brothers Circus and now run

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Speaker 1: by a ring master, Gambino. He's the meanest, he's the

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Speaker 1: meanest ring master around. Oh you'renna ride the rails out here,

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Speaker 1: tons of circus gossip. Oh yeah, there, you gotta you

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Speaker 1: gotta show him your ticket tickets. I just I just

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Speaker 1: by buck it, good luck, by god, damn it. I'm listen,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna think at this guy, damn circus running up right?

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Speaker 1: Do you understand that? No, I don't like the hell

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Speaker 1: is your problem? What the hell is my problem? The

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Speaker 1: goddamn ring leader? Do you understand that the hell is

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Speaker 1: your problem? You know what? I'm gonna dunk you and nails,

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Speaker 1: no more water. Make that a note? All right now? Listen,

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Speaker 1: I want this circus to be running smooth, no fun,

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Speaker 1: no smiles, no laugh. Did you understand this is fucking circus?

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Speaker 1: How we supposed to get money out of these people

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Speaker 1: unless they having a good time? You know what You're

395
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Speaker 1: not gonna get dunked in nails anymore. You're gonna get

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Speaker 1: dunked in live saws. Do you understand that spinning saws?

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Speaker 1: Make a note of that. I want this circus to

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Speaker 1: be the best circus in the world. I can't help better,

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Speaker 1: and I'm sorry for interrupting, but I think it's important

400
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Speaker 1: to mention that he's asking me to stop the splash

401
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Speaker 1: thrown and that's one of the best parts of the circus,

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Speaker 1: with the Seltzer water in the clowns. My god, I

403
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Speaker 1: thought you died two weeks ago. Am I looking at

404
00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:39,240
Speaker 1: respective time pass? Huh? No, I didn't die. Huh huh?

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Speaker 1: What are you? What are you asking me? I'm just saying, listen,

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Speaker 1: I think that the circus has taken a direction that's

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Speaker 1: really not good. We used to really have a lot

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Speaker 1: of fun. A lot of people. You think the spective

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Speaker 1: time passed wants to direct this circus. Well, why don't you?

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Speaker 1: Why don't you do a ring leading now? Yes, how

411
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Speaker 1: about that? But I'm just a happy alown that's a

412
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Speaker 1: fair question. Why don't you? Okay, I will I will

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Speaker 1: run the circus now. And the first thing I'm gonna

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00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:09,520
Speaker 1: change is well, I'll tell you, the clowns are gonna

415
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:15,720
Speaker 1: get a little bit more respect around here, that's for sure. Yeah.

416
00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:18,080
Speaker 1: How about we get the clowns over here right now

417
00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:20,720
Speaker 1: to get on top of the elephants where we can rehearse. Please,

418
00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:24,000
Speaker 1: one time, can we just rehearse with the fucking elephants.

419
00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:30,320
Speaker 1: We'll give it a shot. Yeah, thanks, I want to

420
00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:38,879
Speaker 1: talk to the bearded lady. Where's the bearded lady? Yeah? Hey, listen,

421
00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:41,760
Speaker 1: someone told me that you accepted a bet to shave.

422
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:45,359
Speaker 1: Is that right? Yeah? I just he's growing this for

423
00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:48,640
Speaker 1: a little bit. And uh, you know, little she when

424
00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:53,640
Speaker 1: I kissed it kind of scratches my partner. I just, uh, whoa, whoa,

425
00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:58,720
Speaker 1: who are you kissing? Who am I not kissing? I'm

426
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,480
Speaker 1: kissing the clowns, I'm isn't all the I'm kissing all

427
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:07,359
Speaker 1: the clowns first of all? Right, kissing the ringleader? Alright,

428
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:09,080
Speaker 1: be honest with me, which one of the clowns is

429
00:27:09,119 --> 00:27:14,240
Speaker 1: the best kisser? And why? Bingo bingo? Sure, little boy,

430
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:17,600
Speaker 1: little boy, I see you on the path here, lost

431
00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:23,760
Speaker 1: and alone. Yeah, I don't. Is hitchhiking bad? No, hitchhiking

432
00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:26,679
Speaker 1: isn't bad. But hitchhiking with someone who might chop you

433
00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:29,440
Speaker 1: up and make you into a smoothie. That's that's bad.

434
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:33,000
Speaker 1: That's scary. That's a scary thought. But that's not But

435
00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:36,240
Speaker 1: are you that type of person? No, no, little boy,

436
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:39,359
Speaker 1: No I'm not. No, I've never been in a tesla before.

437
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:43,840
Speaker 1: Can I come in? Of course? Yes, you know I've

438
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:49,800
Speaker 1: I used to run a circus. Wait what the Ringling

439
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:51,760
Speaker 1: brother circus at the end of the train station. I

440
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:55,119
Speaker 1: am That's where I'm going. Ah, well, I'm driving in

441
00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:57,399
Speaker 1: the opposite direction. I gave up that life just about

442
00:27:57,400 --> 00:28:00,399
Speaker 1: two hours ago. Oh okay, I'll get it out then.

443
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:04,040
Speaker 1: Thank you? Are you sure? Okay? Thank you? Do you

444
00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:05,679
Speaker 1: know what? The young boy, why don't Why don't you

445
00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:08,919
Speaker 1: take my tesla? What do you mean? I don't know.

446
00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:10,280
Speaker 1: I just feel it. I feel it in my heart.

447
00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:13,639
Speaker 1: Drive my tesla wherever you want, and if it's the

448
00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:16,560
Speaker 1: Ringling Brothers, and please bring it back the love and

449
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:23,320
Speaker 1: desire to perform that I lost long ago. Wait, no, sir,

450
00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:26,040
Speaker 1: why don't we find that that love for the circus

451
00:28:26,119 --> 00:28:30,880
Speaker 1: in you again? It's dead. I killed it. I metaphorically

452
00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:33,080
Speaker 1: took a double barrel shot gun and put it to

453
00:28:33,119 --> 00:28:34,320
Speaker 1: the back of the head of that love, and I

454
00:28:34,359 --> 00:28:36,919
Speaker 1: pulled the trigger. Do you understand what I mean? No?

455
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:40,960
Speaker 1: I how else can I explain this? I bound up

456
00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:44,200
Speaker 1: that love and had on a wench and I slowly

457
00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:46,720
Speaker 1: dipped it down into boiling water? Do you understand what

458
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:50,800
Speaker 1: I mean? No? How I was gonna explain this? I Uh.

459
00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:53,560
Speaker 1: I had a serrated knife and I found the stomach

460
00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:56,520
Speaker 1: of that love and then I just started stabbing and slicing,

461
00:28:56,600 --> 00:28:59,200
Speaker 1: stabbing and slicing until it was disembowed. Dude, you know

462
00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:03,880
Speaker 1: what I mean? Yeah? Okay, al right, Well but sir,

463
00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:07,920
Speaker 1: maybe maybe you need to start your own circus and

464
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:11,720
Speaker 1: maybe I can help you started a young boy and

465
00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:16,560
Speaker 1: an older man in the test list or in a circus? Yes, yes,

466
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:23,080
Speaker 1: that just well what kind? I'll take my shirt off?

467
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:25,760
Speaker 1: No no, no, no, no, no, no, no no, no, take

468
00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:27,880
Speaker 1: the pants off? No no, Okay, I'm out. I'm out

469
00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:32,160
Speaker 1: of here. I have to go. Wait where are you going? Hey?

470
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:35,920
Speaker 1: My uh? I I bought tickets from my whole family

471
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:38,200
Speaker 1: for the circus. Uh. And I was expecting, like a

472
00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:41,800
Speaker 1: tent situation that this appears to be just a tiny

473
00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:45,760
Speaker 1: back room. Okay, So so this is the first time.

474
00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:47,960
Speaker 1: Us clowns are in charge of things, so you're gonna

475
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:53,040
Speaker 1: probably see a bell curve of experience being good. Does

476
00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:57,959
Speaker 1: that make sense? I don't want to see a bell curve. Okay,

477
00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:00,760
Speaker 1: we're we decided to do a b under the tents

478
00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:05,280
Speaker 1: and uh maybe we'll bring him back next time. The

479
00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:11,040
Speaker 1: tiny room down here, look down here, all right? Yeah,

480
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:16,320
Speaker 1: out like stop biting my shin? All right, that's that's

481
00:30:16,360 --> 00:30:21,040
Speaker 1: my that's my ankle. Okay, it looks like you were

482
00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:24,520
Speaker 1: bitten by a clown, is that erc Yeah, tiny clown

483
00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:28,040
Speaker 1: bit me, hit me on the ankle. Have you been

484
00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:33,240
Speaker 1: showing any other kind of symptom? Sweating the wanting to juggle? Objacked?

485
00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:40,160
Speaker 1: I objecked your honor. Look, I was told that you're

486
00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:42,840
Speaker 1: the best doctor lawyer in town. I am okay, now

487
00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:46,800
Speaker 1: just sitting that's here, Say that's here, say your honor.

488
00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:50,200
Speaker 1: I'm in the middle of a question my students, if

489
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:53,240
Speaker 1: I can say that? And uh, I don't think anything

490
00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:56,440
Speaker 1: I was saying or doing was was wrong. Where is

491
00:30:56,480 --> 00:30:58,680
Speaker 1: the judge? Where the hell are you paying? Where? Hello?

492
00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:03,640
Speaker 1: How does this work? Even a second? Hold on a second,

493
00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:05,440
Speaker 1: I'm doing surge you on this kind at the exact

494
00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:09,200
Speaker 1: same time. Is there a better time for me to

495
00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:16,360
Speaker 1: come back? What your honor? Hello, your honor, because I

496
00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:18,920
Speaker 1: I have been showing symptoms. Oh my god, what he

497
00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:20,600
Speaker 1: just does not want to pay attention to us. I'm

498
00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:23,520
Speaker 1: gonna be honest this case. It seems fucked. Okay, but

499
00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:29,480
Speaker 1: now look, okay, beatle objections. We had a couple of

500
00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:35,520
Speaker 1: hearsaying okay, great, now, so you have you are showing

501
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:38,800
Speaker 1: symptoms that Yeah, I woke up the other morning. My

502
00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:42,440
Speaker 1: my face was covered in white paint and my lapel

503
00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:47,160
Speaker 1: flower keeps spurting liquid. Interesting. Interesting, have you noticed your

504
00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:50,640
Speaker 1: feet getting larger? My feet are the same size, but

505
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:55,479
Speaker 1: my shoes are way bigger. Objection, objection, he's leading the patient,

506
00:31:55,640 --> 00:32:00,680
Speaker 1: Your honor. Thank you? Let me refer is the question,

507
00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:06,880
Speaker 1: oh you and feet sis getting big? Z's thank you? Yeah? Yeah,

508
00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:10,479
Speaker 1: I mean I'm the cut a long story short. I'm

509
00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:14,959
Speaker 1: afraid I'm turning into a clown. Like please just answer

510
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:27,440
Speaker 1: the questions, Just answer what was the question again? Getting bigger? Yes, yes,

511
00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:31,959
Speaker 1: my feet sees are getting big zs. Well, you just

512
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:36,160
Speaker 1: said that the shoes were getting bigger and your feet were. Okay, look,

513
00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:39,000
Speaker 1: you've got me all confused here. I just wanted to

514
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:42,200
Speaker 1: take my family to see a circus. I got bit

515
00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:46,000
Speaker 1: by a clown and now I'm becoming a clown. Order

516
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:52,080
Speaker 1: in the court, your honor. Yeah, yeah, order in the court. Hi, mom, Mom?

517
00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:55,920
Speaker 1: Is it is it you? It's it's your son. I'm

518
00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:57,760
Speaker 1: calling you from a pay phone. You don't seem to

519
00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:00,680
Speaker 1: be too excited to hear from me. Oh well, your

520
00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:08,720
Speaker 1: voice sounds like a lot of guys, so I don't know. Sorry, Okay, Well,

521
00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:12,680
Speaker 1: I just wanted to let you know that I'm I'm

522
00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:18,080
Speaker 1: on the road. Oh you're on the road. Yeah, And

523
00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:21,040
Speaker 1: I'm hungry and I don't have money, but I'm chasing

524
00:33:21,080 --> 00:33:24,200
Speaker 1: my dream and I hope you're proud of me. That's

525
00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:29,720
Speaker 1: gonna send beans. Um, listen, your father's on the toilet

526
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:35,240
Speaker 1: so I can speak freely. Honey. I'm so proud of you.

527
00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:41,520
Speaker 1: You are. Yeah, I just I mean, I I too

528
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:44,560
Speaker 1: wanted to go on the road, but you know, I

529
00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:48,360
Speaker 1: came from a long line of dr lawyers, and honey,

530
00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:52,040
Speaker 1: I'm so proud of you. So just eat those beans

531
00:33:52,080 --> 00:34:00,000
Speaker 1: with whoever that voice belonged to, and good luck, baby bye, Mom.

532
00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:07,640
Speaker 1: I kidney if she got him pinto or I'll settle

533
00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:10,759
Speaker 1: for some black eyed peas. Even call ended? Would you

534
00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:16,960
Speaker 1: like to make another call? No? Tesla voice operations going silent?

535
00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:24,600
Speaker 1: So this beats the train, right? Oh sure, sure there

536
00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:27,000
Speaker 1: there's nobody try to take my ticket on a Tesla,

537
00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:32,200
Speaker 1: that's for sure. So I just told the car, is

538
00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:35,840
Speaker 1: there a Tesla code? Like there's a railroad code. I

539
00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:38,200
Speaker 1: don't know about that yet. I just told the Tesla

540
00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:40,440
Speaker 1: take me to the best place in the whole world,

541
00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:44,520
Speaker 1: and it just started driving. Oh so, I guess I'm

542
00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:46,640
Speaker 1: getting sued by this guy because he thinks he's turned

543
00:34:46,680 --> 00:34:51,400
Speaker 1: into a clown. Um. I can't really be held responsible

544
00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:55,359
Speaker 1: for this, right, I don't think so. But tell me

545
00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:58,760
Speaker 1: more about this clown. Well, it was a little clown

546
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:01,719
Speaker 1: bitted in cool. It's stuck tageous. People become clowns all

547
00:35:01,719 --> 00:35:03,680
Speaker 1: the time, and there's there's a lot of ways that

548
00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:07,480
Speaker 1: guy can be turned into a clown. How did the

549
00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:11,160
Speaker 1: clown learn and to bite people in the ankle? That

550
00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:13,480
Speaker 1: we taught him to bite somebody in the ankle. He

551
00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:17,480
Speaker 1: just got frustrated because he wasn't getting heard. I mean,

552
00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:20,879
Speaker 1: they were talking really tiny and it's just you know

553
00:35:21,239 --> 00:35:24,960
Speaker 1: the guy. Have you ever heard of somebody getting bit

554
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:27,799
Speaker 1: by clown and turning into a clown before? That's not

555
00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:30,520
Speaker 1: how I turned into a clown. I went to clown school.

556
00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:34,680
Speaker 1: It was hard. I'll take your case. Well, thank you.

557
00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:38,520
Speaker 1: I'll need to interview all the clowns, all the clowns.

558
00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:40,880
Speaker 1: It's gonna be tough for you to interview the little

559
00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:44,640
Speaker 1: one that well, he doesn't have a very good attitude

560
00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:48,160
Speaker 1: and he's hard to keep in the same place. Okay,

561
00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:50,360
Speaker 1: can you can you set up a meeting for me?

562
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:52,879
Speaker 1: I just told you it would be difficult, and that's

563
00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:55,880
Speaker 1: the one you would like to meet. Huh, Okay, I will.

564
00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:57,880
Speaker 1: I will set you up a meeting with the little clown,

565
00:35:57,960 --> 00:36:00,520
Speaker 1: but he is not gonna I'm gonna send I'm gonna

566
00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:03,280
Speaker 1: send my private investigator over there to meet the little clown.

567
00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:05,880
Speaker 1: As long as it's not you talking to the little clown,

568
00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:07,440
Speaker 1: because that would be I don't want to talk you

569
00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:08,680
Speaker 1: talk me out of it. I don't want to meet

570
00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:10,120
Speaker 1: the little funker. I don't want to have anything to

571
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:12,520
Speaker 1: do with him. Some of my private investigator, his name

572
00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:14,640
Speaker 1: is scab Bench. I want you to set up to

573
00:36:14,680 --> 00:36:20,759
Speaker 1: meet was told to me to clown here. Oh, let

574
00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:23,400
Speaker 1: me just warned you before you step in. He is

575
00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:32,359
Speaker 1: probably i'll squirt me with your flower. Sorry, but I'm

576
00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:34,719
Speaker 1: about to let you into the into the room where

577
00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:37,160
Speaker 1: the little clowns out, and just be careful, watch your

578
00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:41,120
Speaker 1: ankles and just be careful. Hey, my buddy, stop squirting.

579
00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:46,200
Speaker 1: I said to the guy. These are cigarettes. He's a magic.

580
00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:51,200
Speaker 1: Excuse me, I've got a I've got a guest. It's Scabeach. Uh.

581
00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:52,960
Speaker 1: He would like to talk to you for a while.

582
00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:57,799
Speaker 1: His name is what scobeach? What is that bully? I'm

583
00:36:57,840 --> 00:37:00,840
Speaker 1: not sure. I'm not sure, but I think he's with

584
00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:03,280
Speaker 1: the laws. So maybe you just be on your best behavior.

585
00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:12,600
Speaker 1: My hello, are you doing? You the clown? That bit

586
00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:15,360
Speaker 1: that guy? Would you mind lying down please so I

587
00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:20,640
Speaker 1: can see your face? Yeah? Sure, let me just get on.

588
00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:23,960
Speaker 1: So my god, you've been in this ship in my face? God,

589
00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:34,520
Speaker 1: damn god, damn you A brand said, I'm believing here. Okay,

590
00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:40,239
Speaker 1: we're here. Um, thanks first stopped. Thanks for joining me

591
00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:42,600
Speaker 1: on this journey. I'd understand if you don't want to

592
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:45,960
Speaker 1: go in with me. Okay, good, thanks, because I think

593
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:51,080
Speaker 1: this was gonna be awkward. Um. Yeah, good luck kid. Thanks,

594
00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:56,279
Speaker 1: thanks for the ride. Uh I couldn't take this test

595
00:37:56,360 --> 00:38:01,320
Speaker 1: off your hands. Good, Sure it's yours all right, Tesla

596
00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:08,080
Speaker 1: take me to a bean factory? Who bed Tesla? Pull over?

597
00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:15,600
Speaker 1: Well the TESTA please pull over, sir? Okay, well down

598
00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:18,200
Speaker 1: the side of the road. Test. I don't. I don't

599
00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:20,680
Speaker 1: think you can give commands to my Tesla. Well, I'm

600
00:38:20,719 --> 00:38:23,600
Speaker 1: just screaming over a megaphone. Put this turn your car

601
00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:28,240
Speaker 1: to the side. Tesla stop, Tesla stop now, Tesla, Tesla

602
00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:33,200
Speaker 1: keep driving, Tesla, go go go driving? Okay, get the

603
00:38:33,239 --> 00:38:39,759
Speaker 1: swat um? Hello? Are you the number one clown? Yes?

604
00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:44,000
Speaker 1: I should am. How do you do? My name is

605
00:38:44,239 --> 00:38:49,759
Speaker 1: Arthur mcdonaldson, and I ran away from home because I

606
00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:53,399
Speaker 1: want to be a part of your wonderful, wonderful circus. Well,

607
00:38:53,440 --> 00:38:55,600
Speaker 1: you've picked a terrible time to come in. There's a

608
00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:59,080
Speaker 1: lot of problems going on here. My name is Bingo.

609
00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:03,759
Speaker 1: So how how would you feel if you were to,

610
00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:06,600
Speaker 1: I don't know, become a new cloud? Are you prepared

611
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:09,799
Speaker 1: to do cloud work? I'm prepared to do anything. I

612
00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:11,440
Speaker 1: have a whole bunch of ideas and I wrote them

613
00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:13,719
Speaker 1: down here if you want to read them. I think

614
00:39:13,719 --> 00:39:15,840
Speaker 1: we can make the elephants fly, and I think we

615
00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:20,799
Speaker 1: can make the tiger's talk, And I think, what do

616
00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:22,799
Speaker 1: you mean? Put some of this face paint on really

617
00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:29,120
Speaker 1: quick in this little Okay? All right, so there's so

618
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:33,840
Speaker 1: what made you want to be a clown? Kid? Uh?

619
00:39:34,160 --> 00:39:38,480
Speaker 1: I like to make people happy? Oh that sounds fun.

620
00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:41,520
Speaker 1: I got bit by a cloud and now I have one.

621
00:39:43,560 --> 00:39:49,640
Speaker 1: Is that how that works? It's contagious, more contagious than COVID?

622
00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:54,840
Speaker 1: My teen. What's the best part about being a clown?

623
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:59,640
Speaker 1: So far? It's terrible. I left my wife and family.

624
00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:05,520
Speaker 1: Everybody crowds into this tiny car. My feet season to

625
00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:11,640
Speaker 1: seas are growing, but my shoes keep getting even bigger. Yeah,

626
00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:15,680
Speaker 1: you can't stop smiling. That's right. This is painted on

627
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:23,919
Speaker 1: my face, but inside I'm fucking miserable. Well it looks

628
00:40:24,160 --> 00:40:29,640
Speaker 1: good luck. All right, here we go, ladies and gentlemen.

629
00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:33,759
Speaker 1: Clap your hands and stomp your cheeks because it's the

630
00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:47,680
Speaker 1: greatest clown show in the world. Campaignion, Hi anybody, Hi, everyone, Hello.

631
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:50,480
Speaker 1: If you don't want to get soaked, stay out of

632
00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:56,560
Speaker 1: the splash zone. Where is that? Who? God damn places?

633
00:40:56,640 --> 00:41:06,080
Speaker 1: A splash zone? What? What? Oh? God? So good? Sir,

634
00:41:06,200 --> 00:41:09,840
Speaker 1: don't don't throw that match. Don't throw that match, throw

635
00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:18,360
Speaker 1: it burdening Shelby And that's se number two, Oh the

636
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:27,520
Speaker 1: greatest show on Earth see number three patroon v I P. Dave,

637
00:41:28,239 --> 00:41:33,400
Speaker 1: who wrote, I've noticed in my email inbox lately every

638
00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:36,400
Speaker 1: company under the sun finding a way to relate their

639
00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:41,040
Speaker 1: product to the coronavirus outbreak. While I'm in no way

640
00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:45,120
Speaker 1: downplaying in significance, it's starting to get a bit obnoxious.

641
00:41:45,520 --> 00:41:48,840
Speaker 1: How about a scene where you all are advertising exects,

642
00:41:48,880 --> 00:41:54,040
Speaker 1: pitching ad campaigns around said virus, two companies that in

643
00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:58,759
Speaker 1: no way have any relevant exposure or impact to the

644
00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:02,879
Speaker 1: public or break itself. Thanks for all the laughs, Dave

645
00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:08,399
Speaker 1: from spring Film Massoero. Now, look, you you all miss

646
00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:11,839
Speaker 1: an opportunity with AIDS, and I think if you would

647
00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:13,359
Speaker 1: have jumped on that body would have made a lot

648
00:42:13,360 --> 00:42:15,879
Speaker 1: of money. But you know, here we are, so it's

649
00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:20,479
Speaker 1: you know were we got a new pandemic epidemic happening, right,

650
00:42:20,520 --> 00:42:22,560
Speaker 1: and I really think that your company would be one

651
00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:25,320
Speaker 1: of the people that could really we make lozengers. We

652
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:29,120
Speaker 1: were you know, of course we're important to the coronavirus people,

653
00:42:29,440 --> 00:42:31,640
Speaker 1: but I don't understand how you're going to pitch our

654
00:42:31,920 --> 00:42:36,560
Speaker 1: our circrets to the people who don't have who aren't infected.

655
00:42:36,560 --> 00:42:38,160
Speaker 1: How you know you're sending you want to send us

656
00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:41,680
Speaker 1: blast emails to every single person and and and you

657
00:42:41,719 --> 00:42:44,520
Speaker 1: know we're talking about what less than five percent of

658
00:42:44,560 --> 00:42:47,520
Speaker 1: the population so far have been infected. Mr Dooley, I understand,

659
00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:50,480
Speaker 1: Mr Dooley, I understand that. Yes, you're a little upset

660
00:42:50,520 --> 00:42:52,080
Speaker 1: and I worry about what this is, and I can

661
00:42:52,120 --> 00:42:54,440
Speaker 1: totally understand that. But just understand that that's what we do.

662
00:42:54,520 --> 00:42:58,399
Speaker 1: We're the marketing team. Okay, We're ace marketing, all right,

663
00:42:58,719 --> 00:43:04,800
Speaker 1: We're we're pretty much the the exorcists of this business, Okay,

664
00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:07,720
Speaker 1: Like we will take out whatever is inside the problem,

665
00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:10,640
Speaker 1: remove it, and leave you with the pure gold that's

666
00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:12,880
Speaker 1: supposed to be there. Okay, So just just know this,

667
00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:15,239
Speaker 1: all right, that when we do our pitch to you

668
00:43:15,600 --> 00:43:18,000
Speaker 1: in the next couple times, you're going to be so

669
00:43:18,080 --> 00:43:20,759
Speaker 1: blown away you're gonna say, I cannot believe I was

670
00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:24,160
Speaker 1: even this worried when we had this meeting. So just

671
00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:26,680
Speaker 1: market down your calendar right now that you were that. Okay,

672
00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:30,480
Speaker 1: So I promise you in the next seven days we're

673
00:43:30,480 --> 00:43:34,960
Speaker 1: gonna come back with a fantastic pitch. All right, thank

674
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:37,279
Speaker 1: you so much, Mr Dooley team. Why don't you come

675
00:43:37,320 --> 00:43:43,120
Speaker 1: with me? Okay? Uh? What what I think we should

676
00:43:43,120 --> 00:43:45,440
Speaker 1: do is just say that it's it's a cure. Is

677
00:43:45,480 --> 00:43:48,839
Speaker 1: it illegal to call it a cure? Or probably cure?

678
00:43:51,239 --> 00:43:53,399
Speaker 1: Is that by stepping out of line? I think that's

679
00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:55,359
Speaker 1: the easy way to market it. Just say that it's

680
00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:59,279
Speaker 1: a cure. Yeah, we could do that, definitely. I don't

681
00:43:59,280 --> 00:44:02,120
Speaker 1: think that's illegal at all. I don't think so. I mean,

682
00:44:02,160 --> 00:44:04,040
Speaker 1: it's a it's already a low sunger. You put it

683
00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:06,319
Speaker 1: in your mouth. You know what, Let's try some let's

684
00:44:06,320 --> 00:44:11,359
Speaker 1: a little tester. Uh, Jeremy, you have you have one

685
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:13,640
Speaker 1: of that, the little sock business on the side, right?

686
00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:17,640
Speaker 1: Are you talking about my sock business? Yes, Jeremy, Who

687
00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:19,480
Speaker 1: the hell am I talking about that? This is a

688
00:44:19,520 --> 00:44:21,799
Speaker 1: separate project. This isn't part of it. Jeremy, What am

689
00:44:21,840 --> 00:44:25,160
Speaker 1: I saying? Do you have saying that my sock business?

690
00:44:25,200 --> 00:44:27,759
Speaker 1: I've kept separate for a reason. I I right now

691
00:44:28,040 --> 00:44:32,239
Speaker 1: asking to integrate. Okay, Okay, well theoretically, okay, let's just

692
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:34,719
Speaker 1: theoretically we're integrating it. But Jeremy do you want this

693
00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:40,240
Speaker 1: job or not? I want this job. My goal Actually,

694
00:44:40,280 --> 00:44:42,239
Speaker 1: my sock company will be so big. I don't need

695
00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:47,200
Speaker 1: this job. Uh sorry, what is this about again? I

696
00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:49,239
Speaker 1: I don't need socks. I'm pretty much home for the

697
00:44:49,280 --> 00:44:52,399
Speaker 1: next couple of months, and I'm good for socks. Well. See,

698
00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:54,960
Speaker 1: the good news about our socks is they work just

699
00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:58,520
Speaker 1: as hard inside as they do outside. Have you noticed

700
00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:03,640
Speaker 1: people with COVID nineteen. I hope that you have not.

701
00:45:04,320 --> 00:45:07,320
Speaker 1: I hope I haven't said anybody with COVID nineteen. Well,

702
00:45:07,360 --> 00:45:10,319
Speaker 1: are you wearing socks all the time? Most of the time,

703
00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:13,319
Speaker 1: I'm wearing socks. Yeah, it's probably a pretty good idea

704
00:45:13,360 --> 00:45:15,640
Speaker 1: to keep that going. And our socks you can change

705
00:45:15,640 --> 00:45:18,200
Speaker 1: every single day, and in all likelihood it's going to

706
00:45:18,280 --> 00:45:22,799
Speaker 1: continue the pattern of not seeing COVID nineteen. Okay, Uh,

707
00:45:23,640 --> 00:45:26,000
Speaker 1: it's you're just cold calling me, by the way, right,

708
00:45:26,960 --> 00:45:29,120
Speaker 1: h Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm also on the phone too.

709
00:45:29,719 --> 00:45:32,759
Speaker 1: Do you mind if Jeremy does that again? He's just

710
00:45:32,800 --> 00:45:35,160
Speaker 1: not wearing an ad agency and we just really want

711
00:45:35,160 --> 00:45:37,440
Speaker 1: to pitch this any Look, the socks will cure the disease.

712
00:45:37,840 --> 00:45:39,720
Speaker 1: So if you wear the sock deal, you'll be cured

713
00:45:39,760 --> 00:45:42,000
Speaker 1: of COVID. Wait wait, wait, we haven't said this yet,

714
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:44,239
Speaker 1: am I like? Can we take this call? Side? Can?

715
00:45:44,440 --> 00:45:46,360
Speaker 1: Can I mute you? Do you mind if I mute

716
00:45:46,360 --> 00:45:51,520
Speaker 1: this cold call? Hey? Baby, you are a really powerful

717
00:45:51,600 --> 00:45:57,560
Speaker 1: influencer and as uh you're doing great? Really, Um, we

718
00:45:57,640 --> 00:46:01,839
Speaker 1: gotta we got a message from you, uh for you.

719
00:46:02,920 --> 00:46:08,520
Speaker 1: It's this company that wants you to Okay, but it's

720
00:46:08,600 --> 00:46:15,960
Speaker 1: kind of a weird integration. Okay, man, I got the guy.

721
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:19,880
Speaker 1: I'll do it. Okay, Okay, I got the guy right

722
00:46:19,960 --> 00:46:24,120
Speaker 1: right here on the line. Hey, Bud, Yeah, hold one, Jeremy,

723
00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:26,000
Speaker 1: do you want to pick up the call? I'm on

724
00:46:26,040 --> 00:46:29,160
Speaker 1: a double call by you know, I'll do it, so

725
00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:32,480
Speaker 1: so anyway, listen. So we got these socks, okay, and

726
00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:37,240
Speaker 1: these socks are going to cure COVID nineteen guaranteed a hundred.

727
00:46:37,520 --> 00:46:39,600
Speaker 1: I really should have hung up by now, but no

728
00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:44,239
Speaker 1: one so fascinated by this. I want you on the phone. Ye,

729
00:46:44,920 --> 00:46:47,480
Speaker 1: it's the three of us who's on this call. It's

730
00:46:47,680 --> 00:46:50,040
Speaker 1: my ad agency. Jeremy was supposed to be spearheading this.

731
00:46:50,719 --> 00:46:53,320
Speaker 1: He has his business integrated with my ad agency, and

732
00:46:53,360 --> 00:46:56,120
Speaker 1: we're using this as a kind of is actually not integrated.

733
00:46:56,120 --> 00:47:00,000
Speaker 1: It's completely Jeremy. Just for the record, it's my side business.

734
00:47:00,200 --> 00:47:02,360
Speaker 1: I wanted to say this, so everyone, here's this. Jeremy.

735
00:47:02,360 --> 00:47:05,719
Speaker 1: You're on the ledge right now. You might be fired. Okay,

736
00:47:07,760 --> 00:47:09,719
Speaker 1: I can hear you. I just was surprised. I didn't

737
00:47:09,760 --> 00:47:11,560
Speaker 1: realize this. I thought I was doing a great job.

738
00:47:12,400 --> 00:47:15,279
Speaker 1: And I'm Tim Pickles. I'm in Missouri and I'm just

739
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:19,120
Speaker 1: staying at home because of the virus. Pickles. Do you

740
00:47:19,440 --> 00:47:21,319
Speaker 1: did you have any idea who the fuck I am?

741
00:47:21,880 --> 00:47:25,319
Speaker 1: Do you know who the fuck I am? I'm at

742
00:47:25,480 --> 00:47:30,360
Speaker 1: the lazy I'm the lazy. Okay, I charge. I charge

743
00:47:31,719 --> 00:47:37,400
Speaker 1: proposed ten dollars if I do like a story on it. Okay,

744
00:47:37,560 --> 00:47:41,160
Speaker 1: I will wear your fucking stupid Corona socks if you

745
00:47:41,200 --> 00:47:47,279
Speaker 1: wire me that money today. Actually fantastic, Jeremy amusing me. Dad. Dad,

746
00:47:47,560 --> 00:47:51,600
Speaker 1: I know you're sick, but there might be some hope. Um.

747
00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:55,040
Speaker 1: You know the lazy that hawk girl did I follow online?

748
00:47:55,960 --> 00:48:00,160
Speaker 1: She's promoting a cure. It's the socks, Dad, and I

749
00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:04,359
Speaker 1: think I'm gonna I'm gonna get them for you. Oh God, Dad,

750
00:48:04,760 --> 00:48:09,839
Speaker 1: can you hear me? You can believe you, Dad, I'm

751
00:48:09,880 --> 00:48:14,640
Speaker 1: gonna these socks right now. I'm gonna yeah, you gotta

752
00:48:14,680 --> 00:48:19,840
Speaker 1: be socks, just hold tight. What kind of socks the

753
00:48:19,880 --> 00:48:22,480
Speaker 1: socks that are gonna cure you, Dad, They're gonna make

754
00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:25,719
Speaker 1: you all better. My balls are a little sweaty, right,

755
00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:32,760
Speaker 1: your balls are sweaty. That's okay, that's fine. That's fine Dad,

756
00:48:34,200 --> 00:48:37,040
Speaker 1: about your balls. No, I'd rather let you I'd rather

757
00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:39,160
Speaker 1: let you die than help you with your balls. Thank you,

758
00:48:39,200 --> 00:48:43,239
Speaker 1: a Mr President. Uh, I just want to say to

759
00:48:43,280 --> 00:48:45,680
Speaker 1: everyone right here, that to the nation that one of

760
00:48:45,719 --> 00:48:47,600
Speaker 1: the symptoms of COVID nineteen is that your balls are

761
00:48:47,600 --> 00:48:49,960
Speaker 1: gonna get sweaty. Now, this is obviously the only available

762
00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:52,759
Speaker 1: we know for men, So all the testing we're doing

763
00:48:52,800 --> 00:48:55,160
Speaker 1: now is to know if men get it. Okay, we

764
00:48:55,200 --> 00:48:56,680
Speaker 1: haven't tested to see if women get it or what

765
00:48:56,719 --> 00:48:59,000
Speaker 1: are the symptoms for women? But for men, your balls

766
00:48:59,120 --> 00:49:02,560
Speaker 1: will get sweaty. Any questions from the press bowl? Yes, yes,

767
00:49:02,800 --> 00:49:07,640
Speaker 1: Dr Fauci. Uh that's my name. Next question? Uh? No,

768
00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:10,400
Speaker 1: I actually have a question. Oh, I'm sorry, go for it. Yes,

769
00:49:11,040 --> 00:49:13,600
Speaker 1: I mean the virus has been around for months, right now,

770
00:49:13,680 --> 00:49:16,080
Speaker 1: Why are we only learning now that ball sweat is

771
00:49:16,120 --> 00:49:19,799
Speaker 1: one of the chief symptoms? Great question? Well, before it

772
00:49:19,840 --> 00:49:22,719
Speaker 1: was cold weather chili chili, willy willy, and now it's

773
00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:26,439
Speaker 1: getting steamy Billy, I like to philly. And uh, we're

774
00:49:26,480 --> 00:49:29,080
Speaker 1: seeing that because of the rising temperature of the actual air.

775
00:49:29,480 --> 00:49:32,960
Speaker 1: We're seeing that A bowls were question news news question

776
00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:38,960
Speaker 1: news yes, questions question, Hi, but it was Stevenson. All right,

777
00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:43,719
Speaker 1: we're gonna go to somebody else. New screw screws. Yes, yes,

778
00:49:45,120 --> 00:49:47,880
Speaker 1: Now are we sure the ball sweat is not is

779
00:49:47,920 --> 00:49:50,759
Speaker 1: not just due to the hot weather and not to

780
00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:53,080
Speaker 1: the virus itself. How can you attribute it for the

781
00:49:53,160 --> 00:49:57,280
Speaker 1: virus when, as you said, the weather has gotten much stickier. Okay,

782
00:49:57,280 --> 00:49:59,000
Speaker 1: those are two different questions. What question do you want

783
00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:03,880
Speaker 1: to ask New screw New screw question? Yeah, it's me,

784
00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:09,799
Speaker 1: it's me. It's Stevenson. Stevenson with with Up Up we

785
00:50:09,880 --> 00:50:13,000
Speaker 1: go magazine. Let's go somewhere else, Le's go somewhere. Whel

786
00:50:13,120 --> 00:50:18,400
Speaker 1: have a question? News crew, news crews? Is it possible?

787
00:50:18,440 --> 00:50:21,480
Speaker 1: Oh it's uh, my name is Let's go to somebody else.

788
00:50:21,560 --> 00:50:24,319
Speaker 1: Let's go to somebody else. Saty, why did you let

789
00:50:24,360 --> 00:50:26,640
Speaker 1: me handalyst one? And the handle? List the questions? Please

790
00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:28,640
Speaker 1: handle the questions got the best questions? These are the

791
00:50:28,680 --> 00:50:37,000
Speaker 1: most wonderful questions. President, Please, Yeah, Roski's sky? What's the Stevenson? Yeah?

792
00:50:37,040 --> 00:50:38,600
Speaker 1: What are you quite? What's your questions? We got the

793
00:50:38,600 --> 00:50:45,560
Speaker 1: best danswers. Um, Uh, what's that? That's a great one.

794
00:50:45,640 --> 00:50:48,279
Speaker 1: You see. We got the best journalist here. That's real news,

795
00:50:48,640 --> 00:50:51,960
Speaker 1: real news. But I forget what I said about Easter.

796
00:50:52,200 --> 00:50:55,760
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna wait till easter. I think life's pretty

797
00:50:55,800 --> 00:50:59,560
Speaker 1: much going back to normal. Uh, when they put him

798
00:50:59,600 --> 00:51:01,799
Speaker 1: in the case, not when he came out. Okay, well,

799
00:51:01,840 --> 00:51:04,080
Speaker 1: hold up, we don't know that. I can't I can't

800
00:51:04,280 --> 00:51:06,600
Speaker 1: collaborate that. I can't collaborate that we're gonna put Jesus

801
00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:08,880
Speaker 1: back into the cave. Okay, I cannot collaborate that he

802
00:51:08,920 --> 00:51:11,520
Speaker 1: already has risen anymore. At one time for one more question,

803
00:51:11,600 --> 00:51:13,960
Speaker 1: One time for one more question, One time for one

804
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:17,960
Speaker 1: more question. Yes, yes, newscrew is the h Are these

805
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:21,319
Speaker 1: socks that are being sold by influencers? Are they going

806
00:51:21,400 --> 00:51:25,080
Speaker 1: to have an effect on on ball sweat? Let me

807
00:51:26,080 --> 00:51:32,120
Speaker 1: right now, Mr President, socks cause off on my back.

808
00:51:32,960 --> 00:51:35,600
Speaker 1: You got thick socks, you got sweaty balls. Look, we

809
00:51:35,719 --> 00:51:38,279
Speaker 1: got the best balls. Look what I can say is

810
00:51:39,040 --> 00:51:42,160
Speaker 1: that I do not promote those socks. They have not

811
00:51:42,239 --> 00:51:45,759
Speaker 1: been tested. And for who else wants to anybody else

812
00:51:45,800 --> 00:51:50,080
Speaker 1: want to ride Fauchi. It's like a Shetland pony. Jeremy,

813
00:51:50,520 --> 00:51:53,719
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry to say this, but the company, the

814
00:51:53,760 --> 00:51:58,000
Speaker 1: Suck Company, is skyrocketing. We're we're making two million dollars

815
00:51:58,040 --> 00:52:00,879
Speaker 1: a week. But the problem is this, this is kind

816
00:52:00,880 --> 00:52:02,440
Speaker 1: of a mom and pop shop. I don't think I

817
00:52:02,480 --> 00:52:05,560
Speaker 1: can make that many socks. That's what we're asking you to.

818
00:52:05,560 --> 00:52:09,719
Speaker 1: Step down, step down. But this is the I've been

819
00:52:09,760 --> 00:52:12,960
Speaker 1: working on this company for so long. This is this

820
00:52:13,120 --> 00:52:14,880
Speaker 1: is Tim Pickles still on the line. Should I be

821
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:19,880
Speaker 1: hearing this? Okay, well Tim is actually the president's CEO

822
00:52:20,239 --> 00:52:25,680
Speaker 1: of so what I am? This is my company? Jeremy,

823
00:52:25,719 --> 00:52:28,560
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, not anymore, but it's I I was. I

824
00:52:28,680 --> 00:52:32,160
Speaker 1: was trying to it was going to be a family business. Jeremy,

825
00:52:32,200 --> 00:52:34,960
Speaker 1: You're sad. Floundering is just upsetting. Okay, I don't I

826
00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:37,279
Speaker 1: don't want it anymore, all right, So we're gonna have

827
00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:39,040
Speaker 1: to give it to Tim Pickles. That's just how it is.

828
00:52:39,440 --> 00:52:43,799
Speaker 1: Oh no, I mean, do you know anything about socks too? Yeah?

829
00:52:43,840 --> 00:52:45,560
Speaker 1: I got one on each of my balls. Right now.

830
00:52:46,640 --> 00:52:49,480
Speaker 1: That's not even where you put socks. That's where I

831
00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:54,879
Speaker 1: put socks, babe. While those socks are blowing you up

832
00:52:55,040 --> 00:52:59,520
Speaker 1: right now, everybody loves them. I'm wearing two pairs right now,

833
00:52:59,760 --> 00:53:04,280
Speaker 1: and I'm shoved him up my couch. It started sweating.

834
00:53:04,400 --> 00:53:06,800
Speaker 1: I needed something to put on. Yeah, that's what I

835
00:53:06,880 --> 00:53:09,440
Speaker 1: want to talk to you about. Um. When we were

836
00:53:09,440 --> 00:53:13,000
Speaker 1: trying to make love this afternoon, I couldn't. I couldn't

837
00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:19,640
Speaker 1: get in because of all the all the socks. I

838
00:53:19,719 --> 00:53:21,960
Speaker 1: just thought it would be like like we don't even

839
00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:24,759
Speaker 1: need condoms anymore. It's just like shove it up there,

840
00:53:24,960 --> 00:53:27,200
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Hell yeah, hell yeah, hell yeah,

841
00:53:27,400 --> 00:53:32,520
Speaker 1: hell yeah. Mr Dooley, Yes, how are you sir? Very well?

842
00:53:32,560 --> 00:53:34,080
Speaker 1: Thank you? And now I know that we said in

843
00:53:34,120 --> 00:53:36,200
Speaker 1: two weeks time we'd have a presentation for you for

844
00:53:36,280 --> 00:53:40,279
Speaker 1: your lozenges that would make you the hottest thing since

845
00:53:40,320 --> 00:53:44,480
Speaker 1: the last Ebola epidemic. But I'm sorry to say that

846
00:53:44,520 --> 00:53:47,279
Speaker 1: we've had to shift gears and position our attention to

847
00:53:47,600 --> 00:53:50,800
Speaker 1: our sock company. And on the phone is Mr Pickles.

848
00:53:50,960 --> 00:53:54,359
Speaker 1: Let me just pew him in. Mr Pickles, are you there? Hey? Yeah,

849
00:53:54,400 --> 00:53:56,480
Speaker 1: I'm still at home in Missouri, just not leaving for

850
00:53:56,560 --> 00:54:01,480
Speaker 1: a while. Understood. Now we have a change direction. But

851
00:54:01,600 --> 00:54:03,480
Speaker 1: Mr Pickles still wants to work with you, Mr Dooley,

852
00:54:03,560 --> 00:54:06,680
Speaker 1: So why don't we go from there? Mr Pickles? Is

853
00:54:06,719 --> 00:54:11,840
Speaker 1: that Dave Pickles, Tim Pickles? Tim? I knew Dave Pickles

854
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:15,480
Speaker 1: back in Wisconsin. It's probably no relation. We spell it,

855
00:54:15,560 --> 00:54:19,160
Speaker 1: we spell it unusually. How do you spell your U

856
00:54:19,440 --> 00:54:22,880
Speaker 1: P I G G L E S. Yeah, yeah, I

857
00:54:22,920 --> 00:54:26,960
Speaker 1: know that's not it different spelling for So you're the CEO.

858
00:54:27,360 --> 00:54:32,160
Speaker 1: You're CEE, the CEO of secrets. That's right, Littleton, Littleton

859
00:54:32,520 --> 00:54:36,359
Speaker 1: container you remember secrets from your childhood? Yeah, I'm very familiar. Yeah,

860
00:54:36,800 --> 00:54:39,759
Speaker 1: I don't know. You guys were still a thing, right,

861
00:54:39,840 --> 00:54:41,640
Speaker 1: Well we'd like to be a thing again, is really

862
00:54:41,680 --> 00:54:44,000
Speaker 1: what this is about? Well, i'd get those lives out

863
00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:48,120
Speaker 1: there now. Why everyone's sick? Right, I don't understand what

864
00:54:48,239 --> 00:54:50,400
Speaker 1: has to do with socks. But if we got to

865
00:54:50,440 --> 00:54:53,759
Speaker 1: pair up, if that's gonna help push this through. Hey,

866
00:54:53,960 --> 00:54:56,359
Speaker 1: Mr Dooley, I'm just cold calling you here. You don't

867
00:54:56,400 --> 00:54:59,239
Speaker 1: know me, but you might know my girlfriend. She's at

868
00:54:59,560 --> 00:55:04,239
Speaker 1: the lay See she's a big influence. Yes, now it's

869
00:55:04,239 --> 00:55:06,200
Speaker 1: been brought to my attention that you want to get

870
00:55:06,480 --> 00:55:10,279
Speaker 1: your products out there again, back in the market, back

871
00:55:10,320 --> 00:55:12,759
Speaker 1: in the market, back in the homes. Yes, well, I

872
00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:15,800
Speaker 1: could schedule a meeting with you and the Lacy and

873
00:55:15,880 --> 00:55:18,080
Speaker 1: you could discuss how we can make that happen for you.

874
00:55:19,440 --> 00:55:21,640
Speaker 1: Sooner the better. Will I have to refer to her

875
00:55:21,760 --> 00:55:27,479
Speaker 1: as the Lacey. It's up to her. Here she is now? Hello, Hello?

876
00:55:27,719 --> 00:55:32,319
Speaker 1: Is this the Lacey? Oh? So nice to meet you. Um.

877
00:55:32,400 --> 00:55:38,040
Speaker 1: Have you tried our product? I'm going to assume that

878
00:55:38,120 --> 00:55:41,600
Speaker 1: to know. Um, I'd like to send you sixteen cases

879
00:55:41,680 --> 00:55:44,319
Speaker 1: of secrets. You tell me what you think, and if

880
00:55:44,360 --> 00:55:47,839
Speaker 1: you'd like, we would greatly love to put you out

881
00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:51,760
Speaker 1: there as our spokesperson in any way, shape or form. Okay,

882
00:55:53,080 --> 00:55:55,960
Speaker 1: this is Tim Pickles. I'm not sure if I'm supposed

883
00:55:55,960 --> 00:56:04,879
Speaker 1: to be on this call. Jeremy, Jeremy, I listened to me. Okay, yes, father,

884
00:56:05,080 --> 00:56:08,520
Speaker 1: I don't know you brought your you brought your brother here?

885
00:56:09,360 --> 00:56:12,520
Speaker 1: What je did you bring your brother here? Jeremy, listen

886
00:56:12,560 --> 00:56:15,800
Speaker 1: to it. We were having to listen to me. Jeremy,

887
00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:20,760
Speaker 1: listen to answer my questions without talking. You understand answer, Jeremy,

888
00:56:20,800 --> 00:56:24,719
Speaker 1: don't talk, just answer my questions. You understand, Jeremy, I

889
00:56:24,800 --> 00:56:27,759
Speaker 1: got your back on this. Answer my questions without saying

890
00:56:27,800 --> 00:56:33,440
Speaker 1: a word. Do you get me? Jeremy? Goodbye, Jeremy. Don't

891
00:56:33,480 --> 00:56:35,640
Speaker 1: say a fucking word of this clown. Jeremy, listen to me.

892
00:56:35,680 --> 00:56:40,120
Speaker 1: Now you're possessed with a demon. This again, there's fifteen

893
00:56:40,440 --> 00:56:45,520
Speaker 1: thousand demons, and you understand that. Jeremy, don't answer me. Okay,

894
00:56:45,719 --> 00:56:47,680
Speaker 1: I need you to listen to me and answer me

895
00:56:47,760 --> 00:56:50,080
Speaker 1: with talking to understand. And now I'm listening to me.

896
00:56:50,280 --> 00:56:52,600
Speaker 1: I need to know what is your Social Security number?

897
00:56:52,680 --> 00:56:59,960
Speaker 1: Right now? What is it? Writer? Down quickly, let's say

898
00:57:00,400 --> 00:57:05,799
Speaker 1: tax id number? Tax id number there for W nine.

899
00:57:06,400 --> 00:57:10,719
Speaker 1: All right, pretty good, alright, fantastic. Do you have a

900
00:57:10,760 --> 00:57:13,279
Speaker 1: city license? Do you have a city license? Do you

901
00:57:13,360 --> 00:57:16,200
Speaker 1: have a city license? Well, it sounds like you're really

902
00:57:16,240 --> 00:57:20,000
Speaker 1: cleaning up during the virus Desmond, A lot of people

903
00:57:20,080 --> 00:57:21,560
Speaker 1: can say if they think it's a virus, but it's

904
00:57:21,640 --> 00:57:24,439
Speaker 1: it's actually a demon. Oh it's really just a demon.

905
00:57:24,520 --> 00:57:26,920
Speaker 1: Is that's what you're saying? All right? Yeah, people think it.

906
00:57:27,200 --> 00:57:28,959
Speaker 1: Look at the viruses. You got to go to a doctor,

907
00:57:29,120 --> 00:57:30,600
Speaker 1: got to go to lawyer. No, you just have to

908
00:57:30,640 --> 00:57:35,240
Speaker 1: come to a praise. That's where that the demon, not

909
00:57:35,440 --> 00:57:38,280
Speaker 1: the virus, would settle so much time in Italy where

910
00:57:38,320 --> 00:57:41,520
Speaker 1: the pope is. Oh yeah, it's crazy, what a weird speculation.

911
00:57:41,600 --> 00:57:45,640
Speaker 1: In fact, everything you're saying sounds like heresy. Well it's

912
00:57:45,680 --> 00:57:47,560
Speaker 1: not just what I'm saying and representing when I'm hearing

913
00:57:47,560 --> 00:57:49,320
Speaker 1: in the streets here in the street. Then let me

914
00:57:49,360 --> 00:57:51,080
Speaker 1: tell you this. I know what you're thinking. Just because

915
00:57:51,120 --> 00:57:53,600
Speaker 1: I got myself a tesla, just because I got myself

916
00:57:53,640 --> 00:57:56,480
Speaker 1: stalk in that stock company, does everyone's thinking I including

917
00:57:56,560 --> 00:58:02,040
Speaker 1: with something? Well, I'm not Lacy. You you look different

918
00:58:02,080 --> 00:58:08,440
Speaker 1: this morning. You vomitated green vomit all over the toilet. Baby.

919
00:58:09,360 --> 00:58:14,120
Speaker 1: Oh maybe you just had to scratch you throw Listen,

920
00:58:14,160 --> 00:58:16,400
Speaker 1: we gotta do that. Secrets add real quick on your

921
00:58:16,440 --> 00:58:19,080
Speaker 1: I G story. So I'll hit record and you just

922
00:58:19,120 --> 00:58:22,840
Speaker 1: take it away. Okay, you're you're a star. And three

923
00:58:23,560 --> 00:58:27,640
Speaker 1: two you play a secrette in your mouth. You want

924
00:58:27,680 --> 00:58:32,480
Speaker 1: to eat a crutch? Cool babe, man, your style is

925
00:58:32,560 --> 00:58:34,480
Speaker 1: so out there. I think it's gonna work. I think

926
00:58:34,520 --> 00:58:36,520
Speaker 1: it's gonna pick me at home at all. This is

927
00:58:36,560 --> 00:58:45,080
Speaker 1: Tim Pickles. No, No, Tim, we didn't pick you up.

928
00:58:45,160 --> 00:58:47,320
Speaker 1: That's a good thing. Hey, listen, because I was breathing

929
00:58:47,320 --> 00:58:50,680
Speaker 1: heavily into my microphone. I need to officially hang up

930
00:58:50,720 --> 00:58:54,480
Speaker 1: with you, Mr Pickles. Really okay, Like, I'm sure you

931
00:58:54,600 --> 00:58:57,240
Speaker 1: have a life you want to live. Man, this this

932
00:58:57,320 --> 00:58:58,960
Speaker 1: has been the best phone call of my life. Like

933
00:58:59,520 --> 00:59:02,480
Speaker 1: I just up a cold call marketing call, and now

934
00:59:02,560 --> 00:59:06,080
Speaker 1: I'm I'm the CEO of of ball Socks and Secrets.

935
00:59:08,920 --> 00:59:13,560
Speaker 1: And that's Seed three and our show for today. Oh man,

936
00:59:14,480 --> 00:59:17,880
Speaker 1: Tim Peckle's for the win. Let's thank all of our

937
00:59:17,920 --> 00:59:22,720
Speaker 1: alchemists and no particular order. Jazz cicall, thank you so

938
00:59:22,880 --> 00:59:26,120
Speaker 1: much for joining us from the confines of your home.

939
00:59:26,800 --> 00:59:30,160
Speaker 1: I trust the new puppy as well. It's still asleep somehow,

940
00:59:30,600 --> 00:59:33,720
Speaker 1: somehow is that possible? Somehow? Greatest nap ever. All right,

941
00:59:33,800 --> 00:59:35,520
Speaker 1: let's push our luck here and thank you again for

942
00:59:35,640 --> 00:59:41,680
Speaker 1: being here. Craig Katkowski, Yeah, hey, follow Orange Stucks Improv

943
00:59:41,880 --> 00:59:44,120
Speaker 1: because my wife Carla and I will be doing some

944
00:59:44,320 --> 00:59:48,520
Speaker 1: live streaming improv shows affiliate with west Side Comedy. So

945
00:59:48,640 --> 00:59:51,479
Speaker 1: also if you go to uh west Side Comedy Theater

946
00:59:52,560 --> 00:59:55,320
Speaker 1: online there there's gonna be a bunch of shows streaming.

947
00:59:55,600 --> 00:59:57,760
Speaker 1: It's the only way to stay sane while we're all

948
00:59:57,840 --> 01:00:00,600
Speaker 1: locked in. I couldn't agree with you more so I

949
01:00:00,680 --> 01:00:03,120
Speaker 1: just go to Westside Comedy dot Com and follow the

950
01:00:03,440 --> 01:00:07,919
Speaker 1: instructions there to find the streaming shows. I believe. So cool. Great,

951
01:00:08,040 --> 01:00:10,160
Speaker 1: Chris Abrodi, you're nodding? Is that? Is that how you

952
01:00:10,280 --> 01:00:12,560
Speaker 1: understand it? That's how I understand it too. I'm also

953
01:00:12,560 --> 01:00:13,680
Speaker 1: a part of a couple of shows there at the

954
01:00:13,720 --> 01:00:17,360
Speaker 1: West Side, so we appreciate your support in watching those shows.

955
01:00:17,440 --> 01:00:21,360
Speaker 1: West that Comedy dot Com. James Heeney, thanks again. What's

956
01:00:21,680 --> 01:00:24,640
Speaker 1: for showing us you do have more than four guitars?

957
01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:29,560
Speaker 1: Appreciate that very much. Yep, those of you wondering out

958
01:00:29,600 --> 01:00:32,520
Speaker 1: there here on the discord app we're we're seeing each

959
01:00:32,520 --> 01:00:36,840
Speaker 1: other's background and James uh looks like he's sporting uh. Finally,

960
01:00:37,080 --> 01:00:39,160
Speaker 1: five of those guitars is mine. The rest are my

961
01:00:39,240 --> 01:00:43,720
Speaker 1: wife's and actually one was signed by everybody at our wedding,

962
01:00:43,800 --> 01:00:46,320
Speaker 1: so it doesn't even have strings on it, and it

963
01:00:46,400 --> 01:00:49,400
Speaker 1: only has three signatures. No, there's a bunch of signatures.

964
01:00:49,840 --> 01:00:52,320
Speaker 1: Oh sorry, sorry, I can only see three. James. Thank

965
01:00:52,400 --> 01:00:54,520
Speaker 1: you for being here and working so hard with Mr

966
01:00:54,600 --> 01:00:59,160
Speaker 1: Doug Baine and putting all this together. Is greatly appreciated.

967
01:01:00,280 --> 01:01:03,320
Speaker 1: Joseph of Greer, same thing, west Side. Check out all

968
01:01:03,320 --> 01:01:05,560
Speaker 1: the live streams we're gonna be doing. I'm also doing

969
01:01:05,640 --> 01:01:09,720
Speaker 1: beef jerky tarot readings on my Instagram. Uh and uh

970
01:01:09,840 --> 01:01:11,880
Speaker 1: doing some weird ship on there because you know I'm

971
01:01:11,960 --> 01:01:15,000
Speaker 1: I'm bored as hell, so I'm trying to stave it off.

972
01:01:15,840 --> 01:01:19,400
Speaker 1: There's no off switch in Greer Town. Lights on all

973
01:01:19,520 --> 01:01:24,120
Speaker 1: time cool um and uh for me, I'll hook you

974
01:01:24,280 --> 01:01:27,800
Speaker 1: up at Costco. Senior's Day is Tuesdays and Thursdays. Just

975
01:01:27,920 --> 01:01:32,160
Speaker 1: get in line before thirty at the Marina del Rey Costco.

976
01:01:32,280 --> 01:01:35,360
Speaker 1: Look me up. I'll be there wearing some sort of

977
01:01:35,440 --> 01:01:39,520
Speaker 1: hat and glasses. Let's give major thanks and props to

978
01:01:39,640 --> 01:01:44,840
Speaker 1: our engineering producer, Mr Doug Baine. Please write to us.

979
01:01:44,880 --> 01:01:47,360
Speaker 1: I greatly appreciate hearing from all of you, especially in

980
01:01:47,520 --> 01:01:50,240
Speaker 1: times like these. Your name here at Alcomy this dot com.

981
01:01:50,400 --> 01:02:00,560
Speaker 1: That's your name here dot com until next time. And

982
01:02:00,760 --> 01:02:24,480
Speaker 1: a football pepper and a football pepper fello