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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Jonas is Sam your og Okay Storytime

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Speaker 1: podcast hosts. We have some great stories coming up, but

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Speaker 1: before that, we have a quick two minute break from

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Speaker 1: the sponsors that keep the show alive.

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Speaker 2: My fiance accused me of cheating with his brother after

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Speaker 2: I went home with him.

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Speaker 1: Well, don't you know you're I was supposed to leave

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Speaker 1: it look at men. Duh duh.

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Speaker 2: To make this long story short, my fiance twenty nine Mail,

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Speaker 2: his brother twenty four Mail, and I twenty five female,

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Speaker 2: were at a party with my fiance's side of the family.

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Speaker 2: They can get pretty wild partying until literally the next day.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from deleted and if you

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Speaker 2: want to submit your own stories, go to the r

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Speaker 2: slash Okay Storytime is separated it and I'm Angie, I'm Dakota,

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Speaker 2: I'm Carly, and we're here to give good advice. Goofy.

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Speaker 2: But we don't have all the answers. We just know

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Speaker 2: what we would do in the situation, So let us

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Speaker 2: know what you would do in the comments. So Op says,

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Speaker 2: I'm not used to these kinds of events, nor do

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Speaker 2: I drink much, but I had a couple of drinks

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Speaker 2: at the party around midnight, my head hurts, I was tired,

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Speaker 2: and I felt dizzy, so I asked my fiance to

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Speaker 2: take me home. He said soon, but one am came

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Speaker 2: around and he was still dancing around with his cousins.

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Speaker 2: My brother in law sat next to me and said

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Speaker 2: he was heading home and asked if I wanted him

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Speaker 2: to take me too. I said yes, and I texted

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Speaker 2: my fiance telling him that I had left already. When

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Speaker 2: I came home, I realized I didn't have the key

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Speaker 2: because it was on the same keychain as the car keys,

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Speaker 2: so I was unable to enter my home. I was

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Speaker 2: frustrated and almost in tears because my head was hurting

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Speaker 2: so badly. He then asked me if I wanted to

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Speaker 2: crash at his place. I thought about it, but I

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Speaker 2: didn't want to wait for my fiance to get home

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Speaker 2: at probably seven or eight am, so I agreed and

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Speaker 2: we went to his place, which is about twenty minutes

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Speaker 2: from us. He offered me his bed and went to

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Speaker 2: sleep on the sofa. I fell asleep instantly and woke

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Speaker 2: up around eleven am. I grabbed my phone and found

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Speaker 2: thirty plus missed calls and about one hundred messages from

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Speaker 2: my fiance. I called him, and he started asking me

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Speaker 2: where I was and why I wasn't answering. He was

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Speaker 2: yelling and panicking. I told him I was at my

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Speaker 2: brother in law's house, and he hung up without answering.

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Speaker 2: I went to wake up my brother in law, and

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Speaker 2: not even fifteen minutes later, my fiance already there, yelling

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Speaker 2: and accusing us of cheating. He realized I was wearing

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Speaker 2: my brother in law's clothes and freaked out even more.

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Speaker 2: I tried to explain that nothing happened because we don't

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Speaker 2: have that kind of relationship, but he didn't believe us.

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Speaker 2: Then he stormed off, but came back five minutes later,

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Speaker 2: grabbed me and took me home with him.

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Speaker 1: So there is no way this guy's not thinking about

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Speaker 1: cheating if he's so quick to jump to that immediately, right, right, guys, right,

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Speaker 1: if he hasn't done it, he's at least thinking about it. Because, yeah,

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Speaker 1: to just immediately jump to that is pretty wild. I

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Speaker 1: assume you have established some level of relationship or rapport

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Speaker 1: with your brother in law since you were married.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's like.

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Speaker 1: Smells a little fishy.

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Speaker 2: It definitely definitely does. He asked for my phone and

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Speaker 2: I gave it to him. After not finding anything, he

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Speaker 2: still thinks I have something with his brother. He told

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Speaker 2: his entire family that he was cutting off his brother

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Speaker 2: and won't talk to him ever again, but didn't explain why.

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Speaker 2: He then said, I need to work extra hard for

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Speaker 2: him to forgive me, and we need couples counseling, but

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Speaker 2: only after I confess what we did. Okay, I don't

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Speaker 2: like this. I don't like a name this.

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Speaker 1: Like why are we so insecure? Why? I mean, like

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Speaker 1: it would make more sense if there was I don't know,

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Speaker 1: like a context or like a prelude or like this

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Speaker 1: is maybe he's been just cheated on before and he's

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Speaker 1: just like super triggered at the thought. But it's like, brother,

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Speaker 1: you did it to yourself kind of you know his.

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Speaker 2: Brother cheats a lot. Yeah, Emma Wilkins says, maybe the

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Speaker 2: brother in law is a cheater. That's honestly a good idea.

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Speaker 2: That's the only reason I could think of for this

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Speaker 2: reaction other than like, oh, he's just cheating like this

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Speaker 2: this man, because that's just I just don't don't like

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Speaker 2: where that's going, right, Like you have to confess what

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Speaker 2: you did and only then will I even think about

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Speaker 2: forgiving you? Only then can we work on a relationship

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Speaker 2: once you confess, It's like, well, what if it just

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Speaker 2: genuinely didn't happen?

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Speaker 1: How do I confess nothing?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, literally, nothing happened. I was just extremely tired, and

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Speaker 2: I've known him for six years. I decided to go

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Speaker 2: along with him. I talked to my mom and she said,

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Speaker 2: I disrespected my relationship by going home with another man,

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Speaker 2: and I shouldn't be surprised if my fiance calls off

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Speaker 2: our engagement.

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Speaker 1: It's his own brother brother.

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Speaker 2: I love my fiance very much, but I never saw

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Speaker 2: him like this, and I don't know what to do.

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Speaker 2: My mother in law calls me constantly asking if I

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Speaker 2: know what happened and why he would treat his brother

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Speaker 2: like this, and I don't know what to tell her.

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Speaker 2: I was just too tired and my head was hurting me,

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Speaker 2: so I went home. Now I don't even know if

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Speaker 2: my relationship is salvageable, and there's an edit to clarify something.

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Speaker 2: A lot of people are asking why I didn't tell

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Speaker 2: my fiance face to face that I was leaving with

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Speaker 2: my brother in law. That's because I knew he would

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Speaker 2: have stopped me and told me he would take me

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Speaker 2: home and keep me waiting. I know I didn't do

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Speaker 2: everything the right way, but my head was hurting me

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Speaker 2: and I was tipsy. As for the T shirt, I

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Speaker 2: thought sleeping in a crop top with no bra was

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Speaker 2: way worse than asking for a T shirt to cover myself.

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Speaker 2: And why didn't I ask my brother in law to

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Speaker 2: text his brother. It didn't even cross my mind at

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Speaker 2: the time. That's my fiance and I have that thing

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Speaker 2: where you can check where the other one is. I

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Speaker 2: don't know the name for it on Android. I mean sharing.

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Speaker 1: Literally has your location already.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, at number two, I talked to my mother in law.

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Speaker 2: I might update tomorrow, and we do have an update, but.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I would definitely tell your mother in law exactly

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Speaker 1: what this is because it's like, what's going on here,

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Speaker 1: because there's some kind of history I need to know about,

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Speaker 1: like what what what could this be? Because it's like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's like you wanted to go your head was hurting.

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Speaker 1: He's like yeah, yeah, sure, sure, sure, and then it's

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Speaker 1: one am and he's still like not winding down at all.

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Speaker 1: It's like, okay, yeah, you just didn't have the keys

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Speaker 1: to the house and you ended up at his a.

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Speaker 1: It's not like it was your old, like ex boyfriend

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Speaker 1: that you slept over at. It was his brother.

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Speaker 2: It is literally his brother, and I mean that's probably right.

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Speaker 2: Like if he would just keep saying like, oh yeah, yeah, no,

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Speaker 2: I'll take you home. No, you don't need my brother

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Speaker 2: to do it, I'll take you home, and then he

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Speaker 2: just keeps parting. It's like, well, dude, my head hurts.

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Speaker 2: I want to go home. I don't want to be here.

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Speaker 2: Like that doesn't seem like the wrong thing to do

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Speaker 2: at all. She was saying, like, oh, I know I

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Speaker 2: didn't do the right thing, but no, you're you're fine.

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Speaker 2: Everyone is making you think that you didn't do the

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Speaker 2: right thing. But there was nothing wrong about what you did.

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Speaker 2: It's just how people are looking at it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and people being like, oh, the shirt is bad optics.

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Speaker 1: I think the worst optics would be like sleeping in

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Speaker 1: your Like she says, like, crap, top, no, broad, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's a T shirt. It's your brother. I've known him

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Speaker 1: for six years.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like what I think anything would look bad

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Speaker 2: if it was the clothes she was wearing already, if

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Speaker 2: it was no clothes like it would just.

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Speaker 1: All be bad and it already looks bad on you

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Speaker 1: that it's like your partner is like, yeah, I want

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Speaker 1: to leave, Like I'm like in pain, like my head's hurting. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and then you're like yeah, and then you just like

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Speaker 1: disregard it completely and like keep doing whatever you want.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we do have an update. First of all, I

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Speaker 2: text my ex's phone. I know you're not supposed to

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Speaker 2: do that and people deserve privacy.

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Speaker 1: Wait X, they they're split, Okay, at least past that

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Speaker 1: the engagement is off. It's overkay. Like I said, if

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Speaker 1: he's if he's immediately jumping to you definitely just cheated.

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Speaker 1: Then it's like he's that's what he's doing.

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Speaker 2: To some people that might sound so like, well, why

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Speaker 2: you need groof for that, but it's like we've read

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Speaker 2: so many stories where that is the case, and like

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Speaker 2: it's got to be just some sort of psychological thing

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Speaker 2: then you know where it's like if you think, if

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Speaker 2: you are cheating, then now you're looking out for all

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Speaker 2: the reasons and because maybe you're scared about being caught

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Speaker 2: or something or I don't even know, but there's got

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Speaker 2: to be something there because it's it's every single story

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Speaker 2: that we read. That's not a coincidence. But to continue

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Speaker 2: that update checks my axcess phone. I know you're not

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Speaker 2: supposed to do that, and people do deserve privacy, but

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Speaker 2: a lot of people so that he was probably projecting.

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Speaker 2: I waited until he fell asleep and I checked it.

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Speaker 2: Long story short, he is cheating, yep, and for about

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Speaker 2: a month. Now. I don't know the girl, but from

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Speaker 2: what I saw in the conversations, it seems like she

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Speaker 2: is a coworker. I was shocked and a little sad,

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Speaker 2: but somehow relieved because at the end of the day,

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Speaker 2: he was the one doing something wrong behind my back.

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Speaker 2: The next morning, around five am, he went to work

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Speaker 2: and I packed my essentials and went to my sister's house.

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Speaker 2: I explained the situation and she and her husband were

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Speaker 2: more than happy to let me stay. My brother in law,

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Speaker 2: my sister's husband, let's call him Lucas, told me that

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Speaker 2: he could go with me later if I wanted to

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Speaker 2: retrieve more of my things, and I said maybe. I

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Speaker 2: went to my exes mother in law's house just to

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Speaker 2: talk more than anything. My brother in law exes brother,

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Speaker 2: let's call him Frank, was also there. I don't know

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Speaker 2: if mother in law called him or if it was

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Speaker 2: just a coincidence. I told my mother in law everything

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Speaker 2: that happened, including the cheating, which I had proof of

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Speaker 2: because I took pictures of his phone with mine. She

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Speaker 2: was horrified and started crying. Frank said he did text

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Speaker 2: my ex. He showed us the texts about ten messages

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Speaker 2: like hey, I'll take her home because you're a heavy drinker,

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Speaker 2: she didn't have a key, I'll take her to my place,

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Speaker 2: and even a selfie where I passed out on the

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Speaker 2: bed in the back saying she's safe, come take her tomorrow. Okay,

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Speaker 2: well there we go. So this brother in law or

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Speaker 2: ex brother in law did reach out.

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Speaker 1: Everything was done right, which like makes perfect sense because

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Speaker 1: like why that's just yeah, yeah, so he did that. Yeah, yeah, that.

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Speaker 2: Was weird because when I checked my ex's phone, I

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Speaker 2: didn't see any texts from Frank. He either deleted them

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Speaker 2: or blocked his brother. Mother in law said she woke

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Speaker 2: up around six thirty to seven am and nobody was

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Speaker 2: in her house anymore. X wasn't there partying till almost

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Speaker 2: nine am when he started to call me. I had

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Speaker 2: mixed feelings and cried a lot, but I didn't have

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Speaker 2: any energy to ask my ex for answers. I sent

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Speaker 2: him a text saying it was over, moved out and

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Speaker 2: blocked him. My dumb butt forgot to turn off share location.

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Speaker 2: So he showed up at my sister's house crying and

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Speaker 2: asking if I don't love him anymore?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I probably don't. Yeah, I mean or I do.

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Speaker 1: But like that, does it mean I'm gonna be with you?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like I don't know what you want.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm in the process of it breaking that down, Yeah, exactly,

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Speaker 1: digesting it.

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Speaker 2: I plan on not loving you anymore.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I didn't want to disturb anyone, so I invited him

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Speaker 2: in just because Lucas was home and I felt safe enough.

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Speaker 2: He started babbling about love and stuff. I just told

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Speaker 2: him that I knew about his affair. His face instantly

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Speaker 2: changed and he stopped crying. That was scary. I never

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Speaker 2: saw him like that. He said that that didn't mean anything,

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Speaker 2: and I was the only one who could be his wife.

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Speaker 2: I said, mm, no, thank you. He got very agitated

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Speaker 2: towards me. Long story short, it turned into an altercation

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Speaker 2: with Lucas. Lucas is in the military, so it was

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Speaker 2: impressive because my ex is taller. He booted my ex

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Speaker 2: out and told him that he wouldn't let him go

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Speaker 2: easily next time if he tried something like that again.

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Speaker 2: I cried a lot and probably how a panic or

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Speaker 2: anxiety attack because I felt like I couldn't breathe. I

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Speaker 2: don't remember much after that, other than waking up in

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Speaker 2: the middle of the night with my sister next to me.

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Speaker 2: It felt safe and I fell asleep closer to her.

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Speaker 2: There is a little bit more to the story, but yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: that sounds scary. Yeah, of course he'd have a panic

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Speaker 2: attack or something, because that's terrifying.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, just a break man freak man. I hate it,

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Speaker 1: like just people being confronted with their own stuff and

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Speaker 1: then being like, no, this is everyone else, it's not me,

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Speaker 1: it's you. No, not, I'm med at you knowing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just it's stupid and I'm just glad though

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Speaker 2: that you are getting out of it though at this point, yeah,

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Speaker 2: when it's like starting to turn so dangerous, like clearly

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Speaker 2: you know, if it's dangerous at one point, like you

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Speaker 2: probably never really were fully safe if he could turn

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Speaker 2: like this, but like at least once he started to

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Speaker 2: reveal himself as dangerous. That's like the time that you're

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Speaker 2: dipping out of there. That's like perfect timing. Yeah, so

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Speaker 2: that's great.

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Speaker 1: One.

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Speaker 2: There is a little bit more to the story. My

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Speaker 2: sister and Lucas want me to make a police report

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Speaker 2: because he got very violent. I don't know if they

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Speaker 2: do anything because he didn't do anything directly to me,

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Speaker 2: but Lucas said he would be my witness and go

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Speaker 2: with me if needed. I called my exes mother in

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Speaker 2: law today again to tell her what happened. I really

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Speaker 2: love her, but I don't think I can keep contact

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Speaker 2: after what happened.

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Speaker 1: I agree.

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Speaker 2: Frank trying to call me a couple of times too,

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Speaker 2: but I don't have the energy. My sister said she

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Speaker 2: and Lucas are moving next year for work and I

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Speaker 2: should come with them to the new city. I think

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Speaker 2: I'll do it because there's nothing else for me to

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Speaker 2: do here. She's the only family I have left, so

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Speaker 2: why would I stay far away from her. I think

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Speaker 2: that's all. If you need more context or something, just

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Speaker 2: tell me and I'll clarify. If I can. Merry Christmas,

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Speaker 2: Merry Christmas to YouTube a pee My goodness, what a

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Speaker 2: great Christmas gift. To stay far away from this man. Yes,

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Speaker 2: lose this man.

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Speaker 1: Lose him and and prosecute him to the fullest extent

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Speaker 1: of the law.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because he's a little cuckoo in the in the brain,

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Speaker 2: cuckoo in the in the bookoo cuckoo in the Boo

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Speaker 2: Boo cuckoo in the Boo Boo rehives his brother swap

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Speaker 2: Frank seems like a solid guy.

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Speaker 1: Get out of the dead. You gotta get away from

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Speaker 1: the fam.

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Speaker 2: That's a good idea. Can you imagine how that would

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Speaker 2: go down if she actually got with Frank afterwards and

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Speaker 2: then he'd be like, ah, I knew it. It's like, well,

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Speaker 2: you still started it. I didn't I didn't cheat or anything.

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Speaker 1: That would not be a life of peace. And clearly

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Speaker 1: Op isn't interested in Frank.

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Speaker 2: Hilarly, but that's the end of our story. We've got

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Speaker 2: another one coming right up.

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Speaker 1: I refused to marry my boyfriend unless he gets a

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Speaker 1: driver's license.

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Speaker 2: Girl, you gotta learn how to drive before you can

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Speaker 2: marry me.

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Speaker 1: I Female thirty one, have been dating my boyfriend Mail

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Speaker 1: twenty eight for seven years. He does not have his license,

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Speaker 1: and it's starting to affect me mentally and physically because

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Speaker 1: of lack of sleep, having to take him to work

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Speaker 1: at night. It's making me not want to marry him

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Speaker 1: unless he gets his license. By the way, this comes

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Speaker 1: from user red Throwaway Email and if you want to

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Speaker 1: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

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Speaker 1: storytime subreddit. I'm Dakota, I'm Angie, I'm Carly, and we're

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Speaker 1: all here to give good advice goofully, but we don't

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Speaker 1: have all the answers. We only know what we do,

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Speaker 1: So tell us what you would do in the comments,

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Speaker 1: and op says, I want to clarify that my boyfriend

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Speaker 1: is green flags all around except for this issue. We

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Speaker 1: have talked about marriage numerous times. He is my best friend.

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Speaker 1: We have only gotten into three arguments in our seven

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Speaker 1: years together. However, as time has gone on, it's becoming

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Speaker 1: an issue that he doesn't have his license. He works

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Speaker 1: third shift and I work first shift. I used to

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Speaker 1: pick him up from work and take him home before

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Speaker 1: I would go to work, and then at night I

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Speaker 1: would drop him off at work when I was going

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Speaker 1: to bed. I got a new job and no longer

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Speaker 1: can pick him up from work. It takes me thirty

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Speaker 1: minutes to get to my new job. He has to

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Speaker 1: walk home after work every day. His job is down

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Speaker 1: the road, a five minute drive or a thirty minute walk.

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Speaker 1: Him lacking his license is affecting me mentally and physically

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Speaker 1: because I'm not getting proper sleep. He works at ten

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Speaker 1: forty five PM. I probably fall asleep around eleven or twelve.

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Speaker 1: It's hard for me to fall asleep. I have to

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Speaker 1: get up at four forty five for my six am shift.

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Speaker 1: I try to take naps during the day, but having ADHD,

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Speaker 1: I can't shut my brain off all the time. I've

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Speaker 1: been getting roughly five hours of sleep every night, and

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Speaker 1: I complain to him that I'm tired. I've told him

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Speaker 1: about pushing to get his license, suggested driving school, and

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Speaker 1: told him we need to get his tempts and go

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Speaker 1: driving anything to get him to get his license. He

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Speaker 1: says he doesn't have a fear of driving. I have

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Speaker 1: asked him numerous times. He seems to procrastinate on studying

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Speaker 1: or even looking into driving school. He says he knows

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Speaker 1: he needs to, but when he gets off work, he

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Speaker 1: just forgets to look into it or study for the

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Speaker 1: temp test. Now that he walks home from work, he

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Speaker 1: is tired.

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Speaker 2: So now we're starting to learn the consequences to our

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Speaker 2: own actions and taking care of ourselves. Perhaps tell us

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Speaker 2: how you're doing, Dakota.

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Speaker 1: It's not that hard, people, It's truly not that hard.

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Speaker 1: You can practice driving in a video game. Yeah, for

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Speaker 1: God's sake.

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Speaker 3: Please also practice in a real car.

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Speaker 1: Sure, I'm not talking about GTA. I'm talking about like Grant.

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Speaker 1: I'm talking about like a car, like a simulator, but

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Speaker 1: like for real. Like there's a story about a guy

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Speaker 1: who would become an F one driver and he went

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Speaker 1: from playing a game and then became and he wasn't

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Speaker 1: the best, but whatever.

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Speaker 2: Lucy P ten ninety says, I feel for Op. My

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Speaker 2: partner is thirty seven and still can't freaking drive. I'm

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Speaker 2: sick of it. I would be sick of it too.

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Speaker 2: I think Op just.

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Speaker 1: Needs to stop driving for him, right, And it's like,

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Speaker 1: shouldn't he be sick of it more than anybody? It's like,

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Speaker 1: how do you forget Oh, I need to study for

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Speaker 1: driving school when it's like you can't drive and you

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Speaker 1: have to be taken everywhere to go to work.

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Speaker 2: Like I wanted to get my license so bad because

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Speaker 2: my parents couldn't always drive me everywhere like that they

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Speaker 2: weren't just readily available to take me wherever I wanted.

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Speaker 2: But he clearly has someone that will do that for him,

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Speaker 2: So he doesn't have the fear. He needs to have

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Speaker 2: that motivation. He needs to cut the rope or untie

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Speaker 2: the rope or whatever. And I'm talking about Batman.

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Speaker 1: I mean this is you could literally you know I'm

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Speaker 1: talking about Badman.

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Speaker 2: Did get it?

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Speaker 1: You could? You could literally yeah, the pit Batman in

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00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:03,080
Speaker 1: the Yeah you need I mean you literally could study

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Speaker 1: for like two days and past the written test and

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Speaker 1: then the rest. I mean it's like, I don't want

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Speaker 1: you to be a bad driver, but like if you

387
00:17:12,119 --> 00:17:14,840
Speaker 1: even have the funds for driving school, just go do that.

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Speaker 1: Go do that?

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Speaker 2: Please? Please? Now I want popcorn, right, I want specifically

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Speaker 2: movie theater popcorn and getting popcorn after this.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So that third shift drains him and he feels

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Speaker 1: like he has no time to do anything being on thirds,

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00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:38,600
Speaker 1: but he'll spend from nine am to one pm on

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Speaker 1: the computer when he gets home from work. I know

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Speaker 1: part of it is his depression being paralyzed in his spot.

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Speaker 1: I deal with that two at times, but it's getting

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Speaker 1: out of hand. You know something that would help with depression,

398
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:53,800
Speaker 1: learning a new skill something your life by being able

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Speaker 1: to drive right, maybe that would be nice. Perhaps I

400
00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:02,000
Speaker 1: can't say he tired from doing stuff around the house

401
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:05,320
Speaker 1: because I do pretty much everything unless I ask him otherwise,

402
00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:08,600
Speaker 1: and I drive us everywhere. He pays for seventy percent

403
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Speaker 1: of everything. It's how we balance each other. One of

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00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:14,359
Speaker 1: the three fights we've had in seven years is that

405
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Speaker 1: I feel more like a mother than a partner because

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Speaker 1: I do everything. Honestly, op, it sounds like the reason

407
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:22,359
Speaker 1: you've had three fights in seven years is because you

408
00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:26,080
Speaker 1: are able to put up with a lot. I think guys,

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Speaker 1: I don't think he's like a total like giant walking

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Speaker 1: red flag or anything. But it sounds like you compromise

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Speaker 1: and are like it's okay, and that's why there's no fight.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, my mom's on the child. Oh boy, we felt

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Speaker 2: like we drove you everywhere. Well you did, but it's like,

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00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:43,000
Speaker 2: you know, you still just want like some some sort

415
00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:46,200
Speaker 2: of I like, you know, eleven PM if I want

416
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:48,320
Speaker 2: to go meet up with my friends to I don't know,

417
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:51,280
Speaker 2: high five or something like, we can't can't have you

418
00:18:51,359 --> 00:18:57,080
Speaker 2: drive me to that a high five? But thanks for

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Speaker 2: driving me everywhere you could. Mom. See you couldn't have

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Speaker 2: help with that, Mom, I needed to do. I need

421
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Speaker 2: to be a big girl. I go high five my

422
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Speaker 2: friends myself.

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00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:08,679
Speaker 1: So OPI does continue. He has drastically improved with helping

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00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:11,800
Speaker 1: around the house, but it seems to be in decline again.

425
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:14,640
Speaker 1: I do more labor towards the house and he supports

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00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:18,000
Speaker 1: more financially. We all work and function differently, but he

427
00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:20,920
Speaker 1: doesn't seem to get that. I am working my own

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00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:24,320
Speaker 1: forty hour job as well, taking care of the house

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Speaker 1: and our three cats, doing the grocery shopping and food planning,

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Speaker 1: driving us everywhere, including him at night, spending an hour

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Speaker 1: driving for my own job, thirty minutes there, thirty minutes back.

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Speaker 1: I have lazy days too, or days where I'm paralyzed

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Speaker 1: and can't do anything. I'm at my breaking point though,

434
00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:44,399
Speaker 1: with his lack of enthusiasm and effort. I've been dealing

435
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:46,919
Speaker 1: with horrible headaches and have been getting sick, and I

436
00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:49,760
Speaker 1: feel like it's connected to my lack of sleep. I'm

437
00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:52,399
Speaker 1: emotional and mad all the time with a cloudy brain.

438
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:54,320
Speaker 1: I don't know how to tell him that I don't

439
00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:56,680
Speaker 1: want to marry him until he gets his license.

440
00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:00,160
Speaker 2: I would have no problems saying that.

441
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:02,719
Speaker 1: That sounds like what you just said sounds like a

442
00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:03,720
Speaker 1: great start.

443
00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:07,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like I feel like that's so reasonable.

444
00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:09,320
Speaker 2: I feel like before marriage, because there's you know, there's

445
00:20:09,359 --> 00:20:11,760
Speaker 2: like love and whatever you have to consider before marriage,

446
00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:13,800
Speaker 2: but there's also those practical things too. You want to

447
00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:15,840
Speaker 2: have a good financial plan down. You want to have

448
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:18,440
Speaker 2: good like jobs and plays, good plans for the future

449
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:21,120
Speaker 2: are good, like you know, be on the relatively same

450
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:23,760
Speaker 2: page for kids, you know, I mean, well hopefully this

451
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:25,639
Speaker 2: same page. But you know, there's things you need to

452
00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:28,680
Speaker 2: figure out. That's I think it's chill. That's besides the point.

453
00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:31,080
Speaker 2: I feel like it's totally okay to add to that list.

454
00:20:31,119 --> 00:20:33,920
Speaker 2: I need you to be able to have a driver's license.

455
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,960
Speaker 2: I need you to be able to drive and drive

456
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:39,679
Speaker 2: yourself places. Yeah, that's so that's so reasonable to me.

457
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:43,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's and it's not like it's you know, entirely undoable.

458
00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:46,280
Speaker 1: We're not asking you to study for like you know,

459
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:49,840
Speaker 1: we're not asking you to become a pilot, right that

460
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:53,639
Speaker 1: that that is that a bit more of an effort

461
00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:57,119
Speaker 1: and commitment. But like if you really just like knuckle

462
00:20:57,200 --> 00:21:00,480
Speaker 1: down for like a handful of days. You know it

463
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:01,520
Speaker 1: could be done.

464
00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:03,359
Speaker 3: I mean, isn't it In most states too, you have

465
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:05,720
Speaker 3: to do like six hours behind the wheel before you

466
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:06,920
Speaker 3: can go for your test. You should be able to

467
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:09,400
Speaker 3: learn this in like roughly six hours hopefully.

468
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:11,959
Speaker 1: Yeah, you just go just get a drive, just go

469
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:12,560
Speaker 1: to driving.

470
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:16,200
Speaker 2: It's cool, Yeah, especially than eighteen. The rules are different too,

471
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:19,320
Speaker 2: so it's like even easier, Like you can get your

472
00:21:19,359 --> 00:21:21,679
Speaker 2: permit and your lescens in the same day or something

473
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:23,359
Speaker 2: like that, or within twenty four hours.

474
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:25,359
Speaker 1: You just got to and you've got the time to

475
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,159
Speaker 1: do stuff. You get off work and you're on the

476
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:30,680
Speaker 1: computer for four hours, you've got the time to just

477
00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:33,520
Speaker 1: just plan that you'll be fine. So I want to

478
00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:36,199
Speaker 1: put out there that it's not about feeling trapped if

479
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:38,720
Speaker 1: we got married and he didn't drive. We already have

480
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:41,439
Speaker 1: a house together. It's more about it being better and

481
00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:44,200
Speaker 1: safer for both of us to have a license. There

482
00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:47,760
Speaker 1: have been other issues. He refuses to walk to work

483
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:50,000
Speaker 1: at night. Our car was in the shop and he

484
00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:52,320
Speaker 1: had to call off work because he didn't want to

485
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,960
Speaker 1: walk to work and then walk home. Winter is going

486
00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:56,960
Speaker 1: to be a pain to deal with. I needed to

487
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,760
Speaker 1: go to the er because of horrible vertigo and had

488
00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:02,359
Speaker 1: to all my mom to take me. I hope someone

489
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:05,119
Speaker 1: doesn't say I'm blind to red flags. I'm not. I

490
00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:07,800
Speaker 1: see this red flag. Everything else about him is green

491
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:10,679
Speaker 1: all around. He supports me, cares for me, tries to

492
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:14,040
Speaker 1: make me laugh, helps with the finances, spoils me. I'm

493
00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:16,920
Speaker 1: gonna push back again. Spoils you because he makes you

494
00:22:17,359 --> 00:22:20,640
Speaker 1: chauffeur him to his job at the expense of your

495
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:22,000
Speaker 1: like sleep.

496
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:24,000
Speaker 2: Spoils you, like in the sense that he just like

497
00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:27,440
Speaker 2: buys you a bunch of expensive stuff like that doesn't

498
00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:29,200
Speaker 2: really mean as much.

499
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:32,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, actions like spoiling you would be like, oh, I

500
00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:34,480
Speaker 1: know you have to get up at four forty five

501
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:36,520
Speaker 1: to go to work, So I'm not even gonna ask

502
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:39,359
Speaker 1: you to pick me up from work at night because

503
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:44,760
Speaker 1: that's ridiculous, especially when it's literally a thirty minute walk, right,

504
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:48,080
Speaker 1: that's like so unbelievable. As long as you're not walking

505
00:22:48,119 --> 00:22:51,560
Speaker 1: through like a war zone, Like how would you not

506
00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:52,919
Speaker 1: be okay with that?

507
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:57,159
Speaker 2: You'll be fine, be fine. Dangdor got you.

508
00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:02,840
Speaker 3: My friend Keon can't drive to me.

509
00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:05,399
Speaker 1: I mean, honestly, if this would me, I would be

510
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:07,840
Speaker 1: on him all the time. I'd be like, I'm just like,

511
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:10,600
Speaker 1: straight up, I'm scheduling you driving school and you're gone

512
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:11,720
Speaker 1: at this time, Like.

513
00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:12,960
Speaker 2: I just can't. I can't.

514
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:15,280
Speaker 3: You have to figure it out, figure out for yourself,

515
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:17,919
Speaker 3: and guess what, I'm driving you there and I'm dropping

516
00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:19,800
Speaker 3: you off and if you want to come back, you

517
00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:20,640
Speaker 3: can drive back.

518
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:22,200
Speaker 1: There you go, Yeah, there you go.

519
00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:24,480
Speaker 2: It's like it's like throwing a kid in the water

520
00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:26,760
Speaker 2: when they're like a newborn or something like that. Just

521
00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:27,479
Speaker 2: don't come in there.

522
00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:28,200
Speaker 1: They'll figure it out.

523
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:30,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's like I think they do that. I think

524
00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:34,200
Speaker 2: that's a thing, right, I think they help.

525
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:37,719
Speaker 3: I think it's learning how to float. This is after

526
00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:38,840
Speaker 3: some swim lessons.

527
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:41,480
Speaker 2: Okay, I just see the videos. They're just like whoops.

528
00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:45,000
Speaker 2: After a couple of lessons, see if the first time,

529
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:47,800
Speaker 2: and it's like, dang, impressive, baby skills. It could be.

530
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:52,160
Speaker 1: Just rom the river, come on back.

531
00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:54,840
Speaker 3: Usually it's like I think they've done a lesson too,

532
00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:57,080
Speaker 3: and it's to test if they've learned to float.

533
00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:59,520
Speaker 2: That would really make sense. And that's the power of

534
00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:00,000
Speaker 2: the internet.

535
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:02,679
Speaker 1: Yeah, the real that's because the whole point of teaching

536
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:04,679
Speaker 1: kids that young how to swim is that you need

537
00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:06,840
Speaker 1: to make sure that it's like a survival level swim,

538
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:08,720
Speaker 1: so it's like they're like wearing clothes, and then you

539
00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:10,480
Speaker 1: basically just like push them into the pool.

540
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:12,919
Speaker 2: Makes sense, and then and you know, you know what

541
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:16,000
Speaker 2: else is needed for survival getting from one place to another,

542
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:20,159
Speaker 2: possibly via car dump him in, dump him into the whatever.

543
00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:25,600
Speaker 2: You just keep going, No, no, it was gonna was

544
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:27,520
Speaker 2: gonna dump him into the carpool.

545
00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:31,159
Speaker 1: And I didn't push him into the car pool. But

546
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:39,720
Speaker 1: then he's carpooling anyway. P Op says, he spoils me,

547
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:43,040
Speaker 1: worries about me and understands how my brain ticks when

548
00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:46,040
Speaker 1: I'm anxious or upset. We rarely fight and get along

549
00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:49,320
Speaker 1: very well. This is literally the only red flag he

550
00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:52,359
Speaker 1: has that doesn't make sense. My cousin, who knows my

551
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:55,920
Speaker 1: boyfriend very well, is even confused about him beating around

552
00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:58,960
Speaker 1: the bush on this. Just stopping taking him to work

553
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:01,960
Speaker 1: isn't an option, because I know me I would cave.

554
00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:04,639
Speaker 1: He wouldn't push me to take him, but I would.

555
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:07,280
Speaker 1: I just feel bad, but that's my own issue. I

556
00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:09,520
Speaker 1: can't say no, or if I do, I feel horrible

557
00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:11,920
Speaker 1: and it eats at me again. Another that right, there

558
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,959
Speaker 1: is why I think there might be more. Like you know,

559
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:17,159
Speaker 1: you're like, we never fight. We've had like three fights,

560
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:21,000
Speaker 1: and it's because, like you said, you literally can't say

561
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:22,760
Speaker 1: no and be cause you feel bad or you don't

562
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:24,280
Speaker 1: want to disagree, and that's its own thing.

563
00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:26,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and.

564
00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:28,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, it doesn't mean that he's terrible. It just means

565
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:30,960
Speaker 1: that it's like we might just be putting up with

566
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:34,320
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff, you know, because this is it

567
00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:36,760
Speaker 1: is pretty ridiculous that he can't get on top of this.

568
00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:39,680
Speaker 1: How do I tell him about the stipulations I want

569
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:42,119
Speaker 1: to place if he truly wants to marry me? And

570
00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:44,600
Speaker 1: there are some comments, but the big one is just

571
00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:46,399
Speaker 1: like I don't even think you need to make it

572
00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:48,239
Speaker 1: about getting married. I think you just need to make

573
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:51,000
Speaker 1: it clear that like you taking him to work is

574
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:54,760
Speaker 1: taking like a very like a physical toll upon you.

575
00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:57,960
Speaker 1: Like you're like, it is affecting me both mentally and

576
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:00,520
Speaker 1: physically to take you to work or you up from

577
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:05,159
Speaker 1: work at night because I don't get good rest and

578
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:07,600
Speaker 1: I have to wake up before five am to go

579
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:08,040
Speaker 1: to work.

580
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:10,800
Speaker 2: So it's just the facts that's all it is.

581
00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:14,160
Speaker 1: I would hope you would see the solution to that

582
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:18,919
Speaker 1: would be you taking responsibility for getting yourself to work.

583
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:22,879
Speaker 1: And that doesn't even necessarily mean driving, but like, you

584
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:25,879
Speaker 1: should want to be able to drive, so I don't know,

585
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:29,159
Speaker 1: you can take care of things if I can't, Like

586
00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:31,119
Speaker 1: if I'm taking care of the house and oh, you

587
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:33,159
Speaker 1: got to run out and get something, you can't do

588
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:36,160
Speaker 1: that because you can't drive, right, So if we're gonna

589
00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:38,320
Speaker 1: be like a unit, it would just makes sense.

590
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:42,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's just so many, so many reasons to do

591
00:26:42,359 --> 00:26:45,800
Speaker 2: something so basic. Please, I'm making.

592
00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:50,000
Speaker 1: You and we have comments, not the a whole, but wow,

593
00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:52,280
Speaker 1: this is a lot for you to deal with. Honestly,

594
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:53,919
Speaker 1: I would tell him he either needs to get his

595
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:56,359
Speaker 1: license within the next month or so, or he needs

596
00:26:56,359 --> 00:27:00,040
Speaker 1: to see a psychiatrist or psychologist as to why he

597
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:02,400
Speaker 1: won't get his license. You don't even need to bring

598
00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:06,000
Speaker 1: up the marrying him aspect. Just set a date January first,

599
00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:09,080
Speaker 1: perfect date. You must have your license by the first

600
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:11,879
Speaker 1: or else I'm not driving you to work anymore. Enough

601
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:14,320
Speaker 1: is enough. He cares about you and your well being.

602
00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:17,000
Speaker 1: He will do this, and you can tell him that

603
00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:19,000
Speaker 1: he needs to take care of himself and be a

604
00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:22,560
Speaker 1: responsible adult. You doing everything does not make him a

605
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:25,320
Speaker 1: responsible adult. As for chores around the house, make a

606
00:27:25,359 --> 00:27:27,359
Speaker 1: list of everything that needs to be done and split

607
00:27:27,359 --> 00:27:29,480
Speaker 1: it right down the middle. You are not his mother,

608
00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:32,520
Speaker 1: stop acting like one. He is supposed to be your partner,

609
00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:37,120
Speaker 1: and partners share responsibilities. Ope replies, Yes, I agree, one

610
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:39,320
Speaker 1: hundred percent. It's just going to have to be one

611
00:27:39,359 --> 00:27:42,480
Speaker 1: of those conversations again about me not being his mom,

612
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:45,119
Speaker 1: And yes, it's going to have to also be me

613
00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:47,359
Speaker 1: that stops giving in to him. That will be a

614
00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:50,159
Speaker 1: tough part of me because I'm such a people pleaser

615
00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:52,840
Speaker 1: and have a weak spot for him, of course, but

616
00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:55,280
Speaker 1: I don't want my health being affected because I'm two

617
00:27:55,359 --> 00:27:58,159
Speaker 1: people pleasing. Part of me agrees with not mentioning the

618
00:27:58,160 --> 00:28:00,359
Speaker 1: marriage thing. Part of me feels if I did it

619
00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:02,680
Speaker 1: would motivate him. I know it wouldn't put a dent

620
00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:05,760
Speaker 1: in our relationship if I did mention that, but simply

621
00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:08,159
Speaker 1: saying do this for us, and do it because of

622
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:11,720
Speaker 1: my own health reasons summarize the same reasoning as does

623
00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:14,680
Speaker 1: the whole marriage thing, So not mentioning is the best option.

624
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:17,520
Speaker 1: Putting a date on. It should help hopefully. Thank you.

625
00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:21,359
Speaker 1: I appreciate your advice, and we have an update.

626
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:24,880
Speaker 2: We have an update. What's gonna happen?

627
00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:28,439
Speaker 1: Update? Hey, Reddit, wanted to give you an update. I

628
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:31,199
Speaker 1: took all your advice to heart. I didn't respond to

629
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:33,600
Speaker 1: everyone individually, but I read every comment and you're right.

630
00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:36,600
Speaker 1: I'm not his mom, not his cleaner, and not his chauffeur.

631
00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:39,360
Speaker 1: I did have a talk with him, sticking only to

632
00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:42,400
Speaker 1: the one conversation regarding the license. We will talk more

633
00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:44,920
Speaker 1: about him helping, but I did mention a D and

634
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:46,920
Speaker 1: D session where he left a lot of stuff for

635
00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:49,360
Speaker 1: me to get ready for his own get together at

636
00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:52,000
Speaker 1: the house, which pissed me off. Today he got seventy

637
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,760
Speaker 1: percent of the house ready for the end session tomorrow.

638
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:57,720
Speaker 1: I can summarize the conversation. We sat on the couch

639
00:28:57,760 --> 00:28:59,880
Speaker 1: and I told him, you need to work on getting

640
00:28:59,880 --> 00:29:02,880
Speaker 1: your license. I'm burnt out and it's affecting my sleep.

641
00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:05,360
Speaker 1: I'm tired of being the only one that drives. You

642
00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:08,560
Speaker 1: need to look into driving school for week days learning,

643
00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:11,040
Speaker 1: or to get someone to teach you. I can only

644
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:13,840
Speaker 1: teach him on weekends because of our different schedules. And again,

645
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:17,040
Speaker 1: you shouldn't have to teach him because you're not his mom. Yeah,

646
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:19,920
Speaker 1: you know who taught me how to drive? Oh my mom?

647
00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:22,280
Speaker 1: You mom, because I was a teenager.

648
00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:24,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's when you'd typically learn.

649
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:28,480
Speaker 1: He understood, apologized, and even offered to start walking to

650
00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:30,800
Speaker 1: work so I could get my sleep. I didn't have

651
00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:33,360
Speaker 1: to suggest it, he said. He didn't want to make excuses.

652
00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:35,960
Speaker 1: He didn't realize how much it was affecting me, and

653
00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:38,280
Speaker 1: asked how long I had been burnt out. He asked

654
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:40,680
Speaker 1: why I didn't say anything sooner. I told him I

655
00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:44,280
Speaker 1: had numerous times, but he wasn't listening or taking hints.

656
00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:47,120
Speaker 1: I said, I've told you about looking into school. You

657
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:49,840
Speaker 1: always say I forget, I forget, I forget. And I

658
00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:52,600
Speaker 1: was tired of the same excuse. I told you plenty

659
00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:55,520
Speaker 1: of times when taking you to work that I was tired.

660
00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:57,959
Speaker 1: He said, he'll work on getting his license, sign up

661
00:29:57,960 --> 00:29:59,800
Speaker 1: for driving school, and study for his tempts, and so

662
00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:03,600
Speaker 1: walking nice. So the power of conversation wins out again.

663
00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:06,920
Speaker 1: Gotta love that, Gotta love it, and we have a

664
00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:09,840
Speaker 1: little bit more story left here. I'm happy. I think

665
00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:12,200
Speaker 1: you could have maybe brought it home a little bit

666
00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:14,360
Speaker 1: more how it's like, as my partner, you need to

667
00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:17,600
Speaker 1: care that I'm burnt out and exhausted.

668
00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:18,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, but like I.

669
00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:20,880
Speaker 1: Don't know, maybe, like you said, you're like a people

670
00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:22,400
Speaker 1: pleaser in his hard for you to like go against

671
00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:25,640
Speaker 1: the grain. So like maybe maybe your hints were too

672
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:28,600
Speaker 1: subtle for his dumb brain. Maybe, and not saying that

673
00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:30,880
Speaker 1: he's a dumb guy, but every guy's got dumb brain

674
00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:31,640
Speaker 1: to some.

675
00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:34,800
Speaker 2: Extent, exact part of the part of the build.

676
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:36,719
Speaker 1: I would say, everybody's got a little bit of dumb brain,

677
00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:38,440
Speaker 1: but it's got a little bit of dumb brain in

678
00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:39,080
Speaker 1: different ways.

679
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:39,560
Speaker 2: Totally.

680
00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:41,880
Speaker 1: But as soon as you made it very clear, you know,

681
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:44,560
Speaker 1: I don't and I wouldn't say like you need to

682
00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:46,480
Speaker 1: work on it. It'd be like you need to get it,

683
00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:48,680
Speaker 1: like as soon as possible.

684
00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:52,160
Speaker 2: You know, Yeah, just have it, and don't don't talk

685
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:54,120
Speaker 2: to me about it until you have it. Don't ask me,

686
00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:56,880
Speaker 2: don't ask me for a ride. Yeah, unless it's like

687
00:30:56,920 --> 00:31:00,680
Speaker 2: an exception or something, but don't don't talk to.

688
00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:01,160
Speaker 1: Me about it.

689
00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:02,960
Speaker 2: Just shut up, get it, get it go.

690
00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:08,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, and hope hopefully his actions are are prompt. Yeah,

691
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:11,440
Speaker 1: I'd be looking for actions, but let's finish the story.

692
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:13,560
Speaker 1: Hey y'all, it's John og Host here. We're gonna get

693
00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:15,080
Speaker 1: back to the stories, but here's a quick three minute

694
00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:17,600
Speaker 1: break from as for more sponsors. I was happy to

695
00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:19,880
Speaker 1: hear him say this, but wasn't sure when or if

696
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:22,800
Speaker 1: he would follow through. We are both off on weekends.

697
00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:25,800
Speaker 1: The conversation was Friday. The next morning, he was on

698
00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:28,080
Speaker 1: his computer. I asked what he was doing, and he

699
00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:31,800
Speaker 1: said he was studying, but didn't clarify what. An hour

700
00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:33,880
Speaker 1: or two later he came out and asked, is there

701
00:31:33,920 --> 00:31:36,280
Speaker 1: any chance we can go to day to get my temps?

702
00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:37,840
Speaker 1: I said absolutely?

703
00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:39,280
Speaker 2: Hey he shut up.

704
00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:44,560
Speaker 1: Yay, yay, he got them. He told me his friend

705
00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:46,320
Speaker 1: and co worker is going to show him how to

706
00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:49,000
Speaker 1: drive after work. He said he'll call Monday to sign

707
00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:51,760
Speaker 1: up for driving school. Look at that. Thank you all

708
00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:54,720
Speaker 1: for the push and wake up call. Hard pills need

709
00:31:54,920 --> 00:31:56,040
Speaker 1: too tard.

710
00:31:57,560 --> 00:32:04,120
Speaker 2: Hard pills need to swallow, hard pills to swallow.

711
00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:06,760
Speaker 1: But medicine I needed. And that is the end of

712
00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:07,600
Speaker 1: that story.

713
00:32:07,440 --> 00:32:09,800
Speaker 2: You go, okay, that's great, that's great.

714
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:13,120
Speaker 1: It sounds like you might be a CPP, a chronic

715
00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:17,640
Speaker 1: people pleaser. I SEEPP, and when you see PP, go

716
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:21,360
Speaker 1: you gotta stop. Okay, you gotta close your eyes. And

717
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:23,240
Speaker 1: it's not even I don't even think you're you're in

718
00:32:23,280 --> 00:32:25,400
Speaker 1: the people. It's like you just are worried that, like

719
00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:28,080
Speaker 1: you know, he can't you can't be worried about like,

720
00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:30,480
Speaker 1: oh it's is it gonna be upsetting or am I

721
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:32,600
Speaker 1: gonna be like asking him to do something he doesn't

722
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:33,040
Speaker 1: want it.

723
00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:36,880
Speaker 2: It's like no, no, Sometimes you can have a little

724
00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:37,800
Speaker 2: tough love with someone.

725
00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:40,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you're in a partnership, and clearly your partner

726
00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:43,560
Speaker 1: is very responsive as soon as you've made it explicitly

727
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:46,959
Speaker 1: clear that you're like not okay with this arrangement and

728
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:49,680
Speaker 1: it is a detriment to you. He you know, took

729
00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:52,080
Speaker 1: the immediate steps because like if something comes across as

730
00:32:52,160 --> 00:32:54,520
Speaker 1: not that important, I know for me, it's like because

731
00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:57,840
Speaker 1: I've got rat brain, so I will forget. I'll forget

732
00:32:57,840 --> 00:33:01,160
Speaker 1: things immediately. Like I went to get my burrito out

733
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:02,720
Speaker 1: of the fridge for work, and I put it right

734
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:05,280
Speaker 1: next to the door and then left. And I was

735
00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:07,160
Speaker 1: proud of myself because I was like, don't forget my

736
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:09,240
Speaker 1: burrito in the fridge. And then I got it out

737
00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:11,000
Speaker 1: of the fridge, and my brain was like, yes, we

738
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:13,040
Speaker 1: did it, and then I forgot it on the table.

739
00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:16,440
Speaker 1: I remembered it in the fridge and forgotten on the table.

740
00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:19,920
Speaker 1: That's so perfect. But that's yeah, that's good. Rat.

741
00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:25,000
Speaker 2: I'm definitely done things like that. That's hilarious. Yeah, idiotsdy

742
00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:26,560
Speaker 2: we are you gonna get that medicated?

743
00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:35,320
Speaker 1: That's the end of that story. And we've got another one.

744
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:40,360
Speaker 2: Wow. I think I need to dump my boyfriend.

745
00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:42,560
Speaker 1: Dump them, dump them in the pit.

746
00:33:43,280 --> 00:33:46,240
Speaker 2: Hello everyone, I forty male, have been with my fiance.

747
00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:49,320
Speaker 2: Let's call her Fanny, thirty female for ten years? Why

748
00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:52,200
Speaker 2: are you calling her that? Why are we called it?

749
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:54,360
Speaker 2: Why shall we let's call her that? Wait?

750
00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:56,080
Speaker 3: So, I don't know if this said it in there,

751
00:33:56,120 --> 00:33:58,120
Speaker 3: but this is from our separated It is from our

752
00:33:58,200 --> 00:33:59,520
Speaker 3: separated Its exciting.

753
00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:03,400
Speaker 1: Need you dump your boyfriend? Put your fiance is thirty female? Fanny?

754
00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:04,640
Speaker 2: Let's find out.

755
00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:07,800
Speaker 1: Maybe you do do need to dump your boyfriend, because.

756
00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:12,560
Speaker 2: If you have a fiance. I love my fiance with

757
00:34:12,600 --> 00:34:14,839
Speaker 2: all my heart. I would give my life for her

758
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:16,880
Speaker 2: if it was needed. There are just things that have

759
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:19,799
Speaker 2: always been there that I am recently discovering and I

760
00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:22,080
Speaker 2: don't like. By the way, this comes from I got

761
00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:24,200
Speaker 2: the needs too, And if you want to submit your

762
00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:26,840
Speaker 2: own stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime Separate

763
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:29,600
Speaker 2: because this was one of those stories that was in

764
00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:32,480
Speaker 2: our R slash Okay Storytime supred it. This is one

765
00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:36,640
Speaker 2: of her own. Oh Lovely, I'm Angie by the way,

766
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:39,480
Speaker 2: I'm da Yota, and I'm Carly, and we're here to

767
00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:42,040
Speaker 2: give good advice. Goofy But we don't have all the answers.

768
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:43,680
Speaker 2: We just know what we would do in this situation.

769
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:45,680
Speaker 2: So let us know what you would do in the comments.

770
00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:48,960
Speaker 2: So Opie says for starters. When we first got together,

771
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:51,120
Speaker 2: she claims she used to keep the house she lived

772
00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:53,960
Speaker 2: in before nice and orderly. Since the day she moved in,

773
00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:56,520
Speaker 2: I haven't seen her stay on top of anything. I

774
00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:59,279
Speaker 2: blame myself really. When we first moved in together, we

775
00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:02,840
Speaker 2: divided up the these are your main chores, these are mine,

776
00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:05,319
Speaker 2: and whoever can do the extras should take care of

777
00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:07,920
Speaker 2: them when needed. She really has only two main chores

778
00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:09,960
Speaker 2: that she doesn't stay on top of, the dishes and

779
00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:12,799
Speaker 2: the laundry. Everything else pretty much falls onto me. I'm

780
00:35:12,840 --> 00:35:15,360
Speaker 2: not going to pretend like she doesn't do other stuff.

781
00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:18,160
Speaker 2: She does It's just that when she does, I'm expected

782
00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:20,960
Speaker 2: to drop everything I'm doing to also clean, or she's

783
00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:24,240
Speaker 2: in such a terrible mood that she's unbearable to be around.

784
00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:27,799
Speaker 2: This is low on the issues list. My chief issue

785
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:30,680
Speaker 2: is our intimacy. Fanny is the type of person who

786
00:35:30,719 --> 00:35:34,040
Speaker 2: could go through life without spicy sleep and be completely fine,

787
00:35:34,160 --> 00:35:37,080
Speaker 2: having a ten year head start on her. I've seen

788
00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:41,120
Speaker 2: other women grow out of that into being more spicily adventurous,

789
00:35:41,560 --> 00:35:45,560
Speaker 2: They got into tune with themselves. I hoped over time

790
00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:48,400
Speaker 2: that this would happen to her. Also, I've tried everything

791
00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:50,799
Speaker 2: I can think of just stoked that fire. I've even

792
00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:53,439
Speaker 2: done all her chores to give her an environment where

793
00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:56,320
Speaker 2: she shouldn't have much stress. The discussion of intimacy is

794
00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:59,000
Speaker 2: always interesting, and not in a good way. Her definition

795
00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:01,480
Speaker 2: of it is different than mine. She believes that spicy

796
00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:05,879
Speaker 2: sleeve is just spicy sleep. Intimacy to her is holding hands, cuddling, kissing, etc.

797
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:08,640
Speaker 2: While I do believe those things could be intimate, I

798
00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:09,759
Speaker 2: don't define it as that.

799
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:12,480
Speaker 1: Hey, porcos dose, why not both?

800
00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:16,360
Speaker 3: Something means it's just the dates shoved in your cheek.

801
00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:22,120
Speaker 1: Corolleries.

802
00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:26,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like that's just like a that's honestly

803
00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:29,239
Speaker 2: like a translation issue type thing, Like, Yeah, both things

804
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:32,839
Speaker 2: are important and can be important to you, and you

805
00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:35,400
Speaker 2: can call one thing intimate and you can call another

806
00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:37,040
Speaker 2: thing intimate. But at the end of the day, there

807
00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:39,600
Speaker 2: are both just things that you want to do and

808
00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:41,120
Speaker 2: things that you need, you know what I mean. But

809
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:43,440
Speaker 2: you call it intimacy or not, that's like, that's not

810
00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:44,400
Speaker 2: really the point of it.

811
00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:47,120
Speaker 1: I think Also, you said earlier that it's like these

812
00:36:47,120 --> 00:36:49,239
Speaker 1: are things you're just now noticing, But it sounds like

813
00:36:49,239 --> 00:36:50,919
Speaker 1: you actually have noticed this for a long time.

814
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:52,960
Speaker 2: Sounds like this has been like a big issue for

815
00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:53,359
Speaker 2: you for.

816
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:54,840
Speaker 1: A while, and you might just be waking up to

817
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:56,719
Speaker 1: the reality that you're not able to change it.

818
00:36:56,960 --> 00:37:00,839
Speaker 2: Yeah, perhaps we've had very long discussions needs and what

819
00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:03,319
Speaker 2: we both need out of a relationship. A while back,

820
00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:06,040
Speaker 2: we had a nasty fight. I found out she had

821
00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:09,359
Speaker 2: been using a toy when I'm not around. That hurt

822
00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:12,880
Speaker 2: me so badly. I'm a willing and able participant, and

823
00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:15,560
Speaker 2: she chose that over me. I even explained to her

824
00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:17,879
Speaker 2: how much it cut me deep. She put it back

825
00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:20,200
Speaker 2: on me, saying I'm the one who told her if

826
00:37:20,239 --> 00:37:22,640
Speaker 2: you don't use it, you lose it. If you don't

827
00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:25,279
Speaker 2: use the toy, you lose it. That's like wall you

828
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:28,280
Speaker 2: tell children when they don't clean up their toys around

829
00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:32,000
Speaker 2: the house. They're actual toys, not these spicy toys. That's

830
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:32,840
Speaker 2: really funny.

831
00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:38,600
Speaker 1: I'm confused by that lot, Like it's like you're clearly

832
00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:41,920
Speaker 1: you were talking about like doing that together. Yeah, I

833
00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:44,719
Speaker 1: don't know. There might be just a really uncomfortable conversation

834
00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:49,320
Speaker 1: about like satisfaction on the table, Yeah.

835
00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:51,080
Speaker 2: Which can be addressed, could be and you know, maybe

836
00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:54,040
Speaker 2: a conversation like that would turn out well because then

837
00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:56,480
Speaker 2: you really talk about ways that you can work with

838
00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:58,200
Speaker 2: each other and the things can get better.

839
00:37:58,400 --> 00:37:58,600
Speaker 3: Yeah.

840
00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:01,239
Speaker 1: There's this really cool book they will in India a long.

841
00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:03,800
Speaker 2: Time ago, pretty popular if you've ever heard of it.

842
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:06,560
Speaker 2: I'll let you guys guess what that is. A few

843
00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:09,520
Speaker 2: things to note. We barely have spicy sleep maybe once

844
00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:11,800
Speaker 2: a month. We've gone four months at a time without

845
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:17,120
Speaker 2: any spicy related activity, including redacted activities specified for me.

846
00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:20,480
Speaker 2: I feel connected when I have spicy sleep. That's why

847
00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:24,240
Speaker 2: I can't just go sleep with a stranger. I need

848
00:38:24,239 --> 00:38:26,880
Speaker 2: to know and care for them. I know this is

849
00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:29,320
Speaker 2: a compatibility issue. I was hoping we could meet in

850
00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:32,040
Speaker 2: the middle. Ideally twice a week would be awesome. I

851
00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:34,960
Speaker 2: would prefer it every day, but that's not realistic. Moving on,

852
00:38:35,160 --> 00:38:38,120
Speaker 2: she never wants to do anything. I know she's an introvert,

853
00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:41,759
Speaker 2: but if I suggest going out or doing something, she says, mehna.

854
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:45,320
Speaker 2: Another thing that drives me nuts is that she's pretty lazy.

855
00:38:45,719 --> 00:38:48,640
Speaker 2: We are dink wad dual income, no kids, with a dog.

856
00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:52,440
Speaker 2: That's hilarious. I've never understood. I've never heard the wad

857
00:38:52,600 --> 00:38:55,839
Speaker 2: part of that. With a dog is a really funny specification.

858
00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:57,759
Speaker 2: We don't have kids, but we do have a dog

859
00:38:57,840 --> 00:39:01,240
Speaker 2: with a dog, and he says they have two. So cool.

860
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:04,040
Speaker 2: So it hurts me that anytime she's home, she's curled

861
00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:06,439
Speaker 2: up on the couch with her phone or in bed

862
00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:09,319
Speaker 2: napping midday. If the dishes were done, I wouldn't care,

863
00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:11,399
Speaker 2: But ninety nine percent of the time I look over,

864
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:14,560
Speaker 2: she's sleeping. The dishes haven't been done in three days.

865
00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:16,719
Speaker 2: It's gotten to the point that she won't do them

866
00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:19,319
Speaker 2: more than once a week. Laundry is another problem. I

867
00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:21,440
Speaker 2: know it takes time to build a full load, and

868
00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:23,400
Speaker 2: only two of us are here, but it gets to

869
00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:25,680
Speaker 2: the point that I run out of things. The phone

870
00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:29,200
Speaker 2: issue drives me crazy. I don't know if it's a

871
00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:32,120
Speaker 2: generational thing or person to person, but people cannot stay

872
00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:35,359
Speaker 2: off their phones if you're with someone in person. Put

873
00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:37,560
Speaker 2: in a way, I get it if you're just home chilling,

874
00:39:37,719 --> 00:39:39,960
Speaker 2: but don't ask me to watch a show with you

875
00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:42,600
Speaker 2: and then jump on your phone. Ohmg, did you see that?

876
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:45,920
Speaker 2: Oh no, why would happened? You tried talking about the

877
00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:49,040
Speaker 2: show and they have no clue. Social media is notorious

878
00:39:49,080 --> 00:39:52,280
Speaker 2: for attention seekers trying to get validated. It opens doors

879
00:39:52,320 --> 00:39:56,000
Speaker 2: to cheating. What okay, I think that's a jump. Yeah,

880
00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:58,880
Speaker 2: I think that's a wild giant jump that here. This

881
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:04,040
Speaker 2: is just a person who cheats on social media. Yeah, like, okay, okay,

882
00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:06,360
Speaker 2: that I was with you up until that boy.

883
00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:08,160
Speaker 3: And that was op I thought that was a comment.

884
00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:10,360
Speaker 1: No, that was ope. This is all a pease.

885
00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:13,440
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, but okay whatever.

886
00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:16,680
Speaker 3: That is not what social media has to be.

887
00:40:17,120 --> 00:40:20,320
Speaker 2: That's what someone can make it like. It's like, yeah,

888
00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:23,720
Speaker 2: opening your door and going outside opens the door to cheating.

889
00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:27,640
Speaker 3: It's like living your life around other people.

890
00:40:28,719 --> 00:40:30,960
Speaker 2: All of that can lead to cheating. It's like, yeah,

891
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:38,200
Speaker 2: sure it can, but like not born leads to cheating. Yeah,

892
00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:41,400
Speaker 2: in my household, it's not perfect. I'm far from perfect.

893
00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:44,520
Speaker 2: I'm physically limited. I was retired due to a training incident,

894
00:40:44,560 --> 00:40:46,560
Speaker 2: and now I just kind of bump around the house.

895
00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:49,120
Speaker 2: I cover about eighty to eighty five percent of the

896
00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:51,959
Speaker 2: household bills. Well, I'm home more often, I cook the most,

897
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:54,080
Speaker 2: and I am responsible for the outside and most of

898
00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:56,400
Speaker 2: the inside. I don't think it's unreasonable to expect her

899
00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:58,640
Speaker 2: to pull her weight. I try not to hold the

900
00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:01,239
Speaker 2: ipay more thing over her head. I believe in a

901
00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:03,360
Speaker 2: relationship where both contribute equitably.

902
00:41:03,640 --> 00:41:06,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think kind of sounds like, I mean, I

903
00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:08,600
Speaker 1: don't know what. I'm not a professional. I don't know

904
00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:10,920
Speaker 1: what could be going on mentally, but like you know,

905
00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:14,360
Speaker 1: lounging around all the time, a lot of sleeping over

906
00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:18,959
Speaker 1: sleeping and sleep like it could be signs of depression. Yeah,

907
00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:21,520
Speaker 1: so I mean, maybe there's something going on in the

908
00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:23,560
Speaker 1: mental that needs to be dressed.

909
00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:27,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, could be acknowledged, could be looked at, we talked about.

910
00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:29,680
Speaker 2: Doesn't need to be like an excuse, of course, no,

911
00:41:29,719 --> 00:41:31,960
Speaker 2: but it's something to think about.

912
00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:33,560
Speaker 1: Is is it been a conversation at all.

913
00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:37,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, good question. I have constant pain in my body

914
00:41:37,280 --> 00:41:39,800
Speaker 2: which won't ever go away. I have a medical device

915
00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:42,400
Speaker 2: to help with the pain and take beds in the morning.

916
00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:44,880
Speaker 2: I have a small noticeable limp, and on days I

917
00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:47,759
Speaker 2: tried to do more, I'm hunched over in pain. Never

918
00:41:47,840 --> 00:41:50,160
Speaker 2: once has she been like, oh baby, you look like

919
00:41:50,160 --> 00:41:52,680
Speaker 2: you're in pain. Would you like a massage? I once

920
00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:55,399
Speaker 2: asked her about that, and she said, because then you'll

921
00:41:55,440 --> 00:42:02,640
Speaker 2: be expecting more. Oh man, girl, come on, I don't

922
00:42:02,680 --> 00:42:04,880
Speaker 2: want to give you one massage because then you're always

923
00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:07,360
Speaker 2: going to expect me to massage you. Dude. Come on,

924
00:42:08,120 --> 00:42:10,520
Speaker 2: that's that's your boo, that's your boyfriend.

925
00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:14,560
Speaker 1: I think that's a pretty big red flash. I would

926
00:42:14,719 --> 00:42:18,480
Speaker 1: have to agree. I gotta say I don't know if.

927
00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:21,240
Speaker 1: I don't know if we should stay with this person,

928
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:24,000
Speaker 1: because it's pretty emblematic of the way they think of

929
00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:25,719
Speaker 1: your whole relationship.

930
00:42:26,280 --> 00:42:35,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think so. It blew my mind. She doesn't

931
00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:37,399
Speaker 2: want to do things to make me feel good, but

932
00:42:37,560 --> 00:42:40,120
Speaker 2: I want to make her feel good. I never got

933
00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:42,520
Speaker 2: a solid answer. In the last year, I've been going

934
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:44,759
Speaker 2: through a massive amount of depression. I was on a

935
00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:46,799
Speaker 2: med that made me gain weight, and no matter what

936
00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:49,480
Speaker 2: I did, I wasn't losing it. I recently got off it,

937
00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:52,600
Speaker 2: but I'm still thirty five pounds heavier. My goal is

938
00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:55,320
Speaker 2: to drop at least fifty pounds. Bigger goal eighty. I

939
00:42:55,400 --> 00:42:58,400
Speaker 2: hope it reduces strain on my forever entry. I'm getting

940
00:42:58,440 --> 00:43:01,560
Speaker 2: medical help and trying to enroll in a GOLP one program.

941
00:43:01,560 --> 00:43:03,799
Speaker 2: I've noticed how she speaks to me recently. I've even

942
00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:05,520
Speaker 2: told her that if I spoke to her in the

943
00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:08,520
Speaker 2: same tone, she'd be pissed. So why is it okay

944
00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:10,640
Speaker 2: to talk to me like that? When we have a

945
00:43:10,680 --> 00:43:13,640
Speaker 2: conversation about something, I distinctly remember her saying things a

946
00:43:13,640 --> 00:43:17,360
Speaker 2: certain way and she gaslights me. I already have memory issues,

947
00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:19,560
Speaker 2: so I second guessed myself I might start wearing a

948
00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:22,719
Speaker 2: recording device just to play back. Though I hate the idea.

949
00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:25,520
Speaker 1: I think if we're at I need to record all

950
00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:29,640
Speaker 1: our conversations to not be gas lit into miss, you know,

951
00:43:30,280 --> 00:43:33,920
Speaker 1: being told that I'm misremembering everything. Yeah, I think we

952
00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:37,560
Speaker 1: need to maybe break up, And I think we also

953
00:43:37,640 --> 00:43:41,000
Speaker 1: need to go back and redo the title the beginning

954
00:43:41,040 --> 00:43:42,919
Speaker 1: of this because it's I think I need to dumb

955
00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:47,480
Speaker 1: my girlfriend. Yeah I do. I do think you need

956
00:43:47,520 --> 00:43:50,160
Speaker 1: to do this, and I think that's I think that's

957
00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:52,439
Speaker 1: just where we're at. I mean, that would be such

958
00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:55,399
Speaker 1: a co like the conversation that would open up from

959
00:43:55,480 --> 00:43:58,040
Speaker 1: can you give me a back massage because I have

960
00:43:58,200 --> 00:44:00,640
Speaker 1: chronic pain that will be with me for the rest

961
00:44:00,680 --> 00:44:02,759
Speaker 1: of my life and I've done a lot today And

962
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:05,680
Speaker 1: the response to that is, well, no, I can't give

963
00:44:05,719 --> 00:44:07,560
Speaker 1: you a massage because then you'll just expect me to

964
00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:07,880
Speaker 1: do that.

965
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:10,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, what whoa what.

966
00:44:12,280 --> 00:44:13,239
Speaker 1: Are we doing here?

967
00:44:13,480 --> 00:44:18,360
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, I think this is not a good relationship at.

968
00:44:18,239 --> 00:44:20,279
Speaker 1: All, especially if it's like if you're if you're paying

969
00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:21,880
Speaker 1: for like eighty five percent of stuff, It's like, do

970
00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:24,439
Speaker 1: you even like me or do you just like what

971
00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:27,720
Speaker 1: our life affords you, which is you kind of don't

972
00:44:27,719 --> 00:44:28,880
Speaker 1: have to do much.

973
00:44:29,640 --> 00:44:33,560
Speaker 2: Yeah. I also am curious what she does because it

974
00:44:33,640 --> 00:44:35,680
Speaker 2: sounded at first like she was laid around the house

975
00:44:35,719 --> 00:44:37,680
Speaker 2: all the time, but then he mentioned that because of

976
00:44:37,680 --> 00:44:40,839
Speaker 2: his injury, he's oh wait, no, well no, I mean

977
00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:41,960
Speaker 2: if he's said that she's.

978
00:44:41,719 --> 00:44:44,040
Speaker 1: Home most of the time, if he's pulling in eighty

979
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:46,480
Speaker 1: five percent, I mean, I don't know what I don't

980
00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:49,160
Speaker 1: know which. I assume she has some kind of income,

981
00:44:49,239 --> 00:44:51,560
Speaker 1: but it just sounds like, I don't know.

982
00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:53,399
Speaker 2: Just not out of the house that much.

983
00:44:53,680 --> 00:44:56,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's and sometimes we read these stories of like,

984
00:44:56,320 --> 00:44:59,120
Speaker 1: you know, people with like a chronic injury or disability,

985
00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:01,800
Speaker 1: and then like, I don't know that there's this weird

986
00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:05,200
Speaker 1: dynamic where sometimes their partner just develops this like sort

987
00:45:05,239 --> 00:45:09,920
Speaker 1: of just like underlying like seething resentment towards them m hm.

988
00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:12,960
Speaker 1: And like it just like can start to bubble up

989
00:45:12,960 --> 00:45:15,760
Speaker 1: and come up in weird ways, like when a little

990
00:45:15,760 --> 00:45:18,240
Speaker 1: thing changes, like you gained weight and now you're noticing,

991
00:45:18,280 --> 00:45:20,759
Speaker 1: like she's talking to you in just like a horrifically

992
00:45:21,480 --> 00:45:24,440
Speaker 1: you know, bad way. And yeah, I don't know. But

993
00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:29,000
Speaker 1: regardless of any of that, I don't think this should continue.

994
00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:31,520
Speaker 2: I would have to agree John.

995
00:45:31,560 --> 00:45:33,400
Speaker 1: Here, we're gonna get back to this juicy story, but

996
00:45:33,400 --> 00:45:35,280
Speaker 1: a quick three minute break of ads from our sponsors.

997
00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:38,120
Speaker 2: She's so set in believing she didn't say something that

998
00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:40,440
Speaker 2: I start to wonder, does she really believe she didn't

999
00:45:40,440 --> 00:45:43,799
Speaker 2: say that, or that she doesn't speak with that attitude.

1000
00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:46,080
Speaker 2: It's like the way she speaks with me is worse

1001
00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:48,920
Speaker 2: than anyone else. I thought you loved me. Why do

1002
00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:51,439
Speaker 2: you treat me like this? Recently, We've had several bad

1003
00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:54,399
Speaker 2: fights over the same things. Each time I almost broke

1004
00:45:54,440 --> 00:45:56,839
Speaker 2: up with her. In September. We kind of worked it out,

1005
00:45:56,840 --> 00:45:59,360
Speaker 2: but she didn't seem like she wanted to participate, treating

1006
00:45:59,360 --> 00:46:01,800
Speaker 2: it like a burden. I love her with all my heart.

1007
00:46:01,960 --> 00:46:04,360
Speaker 2: I want my future with her. I've spent so long

1008
00:46:04,400 --> 00:46:07,040
Speaker 2: with her. I can't imagine life without her. However, I

1009
00:46:07,160 --> 00:46:10,880
Speaker 2: also cannot forsake intimacy. I feel trapped. I want to

1010
00:46:10,920 --> 00:46:13,120
Speaker 2: make love, but she's not into it. I'm not a cheater,

1011
00:46:13,239 --> 00:46:16,359
Speaker 2: so I can't just find it elsewhere. It's not new

1012
00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:18,719
Speaker 2: to her. I've told her all of this. We've had

1013
00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:21,640
Speaker 2: this discussion at least one hundred times. The longer we

1014
00:46:21,680 --> 00:46:24,280
Speaker 2: go without making love, the more distant I feel. Why

1015
00:46:24,320 --> 00:46:27,239
Speaker 2: should I keep giving you what you need while you

1016
00:46:27,360 --> 00:46:29,560
Speaker 2: leave me to suffer. You want me to spend all

1017
00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:31,440
Speaker 2: my time with you, but you don't take care of

1018
00:46:31,480 --> 00:46:34,239
Speaker 2: my needs. I know I sound selfish. I can't help it.

1019
00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:36,439
Speaker 2: Am I just a cheap place for her to live

1020
00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:40,000
Speaker 2: while she uses me. The constant rejection has crushed my soul.

1021
00:46:40,160 --> 00:46:43,400
Speaker 2: I feel unattractive and undeserving of love. I take pride

1022
00:46:43,440 --> 00:46:46,520
Speaker 2: in being a provider. I care about making sure she's okay.

1023
00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:49,200
Speaker 2: My heart is breaking slowly. The last three to four

1024
00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:52,480
Speaker 2: days we've barely spoken. I feel like a frustrating roommate.

1025
00:46:52,520 --> 00:46:55,239
Speaker 2: I have to tiptoe around. At any point, I could

1026
00:46:55,280 --> 00:46:58,520
Speaker 2: snap and say, go, I just want her to want

1027
00:46:58,560 --> 00:47:00,719
Speaker 2: me as much as I want her. I would like

1028
00:47:00,760 --> 00:47:03,080
Speaker 2: the dishes done nightly too. I don't know what to

1029
00:47:03,120 --> 00:47:05,000
Speaker 2: do anymore. There's a little bit more to the story,

1030
00:47:05,040 --> 00:47:07,200
Speaker 2: but aha, I think you know what you gotta do.

1031
00:47:07,719 --> 00:47:09,839
Speaker 2: My friends, Sorry, it.

1032
00:47:09,880 --> 00:47:14,120
Speaker 1: Sucks sometimes things fall apart. I think what you could

1033
00:47:14,160 --> 00:47:18,239
Speaker 1: do is like if you just tried to embody that

1034
00:47:18,320 --> 00:47:21,400
Speaker 1: you are actually not bothered. There was a comment earlier

1035
00:47:21,480 --> 00:47:25,400
Speaker 1: about like maybe that your desire for this intimacy is

1036
00:47:25,440 --> 00:47:28,399
Speaker 1: like the very thing that's like pushing her away from it.

1037
00:47:28,520 --> 00:47:31,439
Speaker 1: But like then it just then it just devolves into

1038
00:47:31,480 --> 00:47:35,359
Speaker 1: the game of you appearing like you're actually so satisfied

1039
00:47:35,360 --> 00:47:36,960
Speaker 1: in your life that it's like, oh, yeah, I don't

1040
00:47:36,960 --> 00:47:39,560
Speaker 1: even need you, but whatever, I'll keep you around. And

1041
00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:43,239
Speaker 1: then suddenly once you do seem you know, satisfied, because

1042
00:47:43,280 --> 00:47:46,240
Speaker 1: it almost seems like she's trying to keep you down,

1043
00:47:46,480 --> 00:47:49,000
Speaker 1: you know, like it's almost like a concerted effort to

1044
00:47:49,160 --> 00:47:52,359
Speaker 1: like make sure there's something that's just like crushing your

1045
00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:55,960
Speaker 1: self worth. So if you can outwardly express that, like

1046
00:47:56,160 --> 00:47:59,799
Speaker 1: I'm actually fully fulfilled, she might come back around. But

1047
00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:03,480
Speaker 1: I don't think anyone wants to play that game. Yeah,

1048
00:48:03,760 --> 00:48:06,400
Speaker 1: and I think just based on the like I'm not

1049
00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:08,839
Speaker 1: giving you a freaking back massage because what then you're

1050
00:48:08,840 --> 00:48:10,719
Speaker 1: gonna expect that of me? It's like, dude, you like

1051
00:48:10,719 --> 00:48:12,839
Speaker 1: you who I'm expecting to spend the rest of my

1052
00:48:12,920 --> 00:48:15,279
Speaker 1: life with you? Like yeah, yeah, maybe maybe I would

1053
00:48:15,280 --> 00:48:17,279
Speaker 1: expect a back massage every once in a while, right,

1054
00:48:17,520 --> 00:48:17,839
Speaker 1: Like that.

1055
00:48:17,800 --> 00:48:19,799
Speaker 2: Would be so nice. That's something that I would love

1056
00:48:19,880 --> 00:48:22,440
Speaker 2: to do with my partner, And like you won't even

1057
00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:24,480
Speaker 2: give me one because you think you're gonna have to

1058
00:48:24,520 --> 00:48:27,439
Speaker 2: do Like I don't that. Yeah, that logic alone, it's

1059
00:48:27,520 --> 00:48:30,880
Speaker 2: like already a giant red flag. So everything else. It's

1060
00:48:30,920 --> 00:48:33,560
Speaker 2: like I feel like I could see people hearing this

1061
00:48:33,840 --> 00:48:37,839
Speaker 2: and kind of thinking like or defending the girlfriend and

1062
00:48:37,880 --> 00:48:38,399
Speaker 2: being like.

1063
00:48:38,400 --> 00:48:41,560
Speaker 4: Oh, well, you don't can't like demand intimacy or whatever,

1064
00:48:41,600 --> 00:48:43,759
Speaker 4: But that's really not what he's doing at all, Like

1065
00:48:43,800 --> 00:48:46,319
Speaker 4: it's I think he's doing so much for her, and

1066
00:48:46,400 --> 00:48:49,400
Speaker 4: just in general, he's not or she's not caring about

1067
00:48:49,480 --> 00:48:51,000
Speaker 4: him really.

1068
00:48:50,719 --> 00:48:54,560
Speaker 2: Not that much. Maybe with words sometimes I'm assuming that's

1069
00:48:54,560 --> 00:48:57,200
Speaker 2: what it is, is that the care that he is

1070
00:48:57,280 --> 00:49:00,640
Speaker 2: getting is all with words and not with act, and

1071
00:49:00,680 --> 00:49:04,080
Speaker 2: he needs the actions to back up whatever words she's saying.

1072
00:49:04,320 --> 00:49:06,520
Speaker 2: I'm assuming there's words because there has to be something

1073
00:49:06,560 --> 00:49:07,640
Speaker 2: good that's keeping him here.

1074
00:49:07,800 --> 00:49:09,480
Speaker 1: I don't know he's even talking about. It's like the

1075
00:49:09,520 --> 00:49:11,799
Speaker 1: way that they talk is like he's telling her like, yeah,

1076
00:49:11,800 --> 00:49:13,120
Speaker 1: I know, I don't like the way you're talking to me,

1077
00:49:13,160 --> 00:49:14,560
Speaker 1: and she just goes, I'm not even talking to you

1078
00:49:14,600 --> 00:49:18,240
Speaker 1: like that. That's true. We talked in like four days.

1079
00:49:18,600 --> 00:49:21,080
Speaker 2: This all feels like a ninety day fiance type thing

1080
00:49:21,239 --> 00:49:24,160
Speaker 2: where it's like they're like, oh, they're talking so much

1081
00:49:24,200 --> 00:49:26,440
Speaker 2: online and it's like, oh, I'm sowing up bla la,

1082
00:49:26,600 --> 00:49:28,480
Speaker 2: and then they come they meet up, and then one

1083
00:49:28,520 --> 00:49:31,120
Speaker 2: person is just like, eh, whenever, I'm just like here,

1084
00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:34,040
Speaker 2: just like get the benefits from it. And they're like, well,

1085
00:49:34,040 --> 00:49:37,319
Speaker 2: but I'm in love with you. What what do you mean?

1086
00:49:37,360 --> 00:49:39,319
Speaker 2: I mention you ninety days ago and you're not in

1087
00:49:39,360 --> 00:49:39,880
Speaker 2: love with me.

1088
00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:44,400
Speaker 1: What I think at the end of the day, you know,

1089
00:49:44,719 --> 00:49:47,200
Speaker 1: the unknown is scary, and that's where you'd be if

1090
00:49:47,200 --> 00:49:49,160
Speaker 1: you left this person that you're in love with and

1091
00:49:49,200 --> 00:49:52,279
Speaker 1: you've envisioned, you had this whole vision for everything mm hmm,

1092
00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:56,480
Speaker 1: and it's just not going that way. And I think

1093
00:49:56,719 --> 00:50:01,759
Speaker 1: the unknown is better than this because the unknown is

1094
00:50:01,800 --> 00:50:05,160
Speaker 1: also the possibility that things can get better, Like you

1095
00:50:05,160 --> 00:50:09,279
Speaker 1: can find a better, you know, partner in situation than this.

1096
00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:11,080
Speaker 1: And it's not even like I don't want to even

1097
00:50:11,080 --> 00:50:12,759
Speaker 1: say like you can find a better partner because then

1098
00:50:12,800 --> 00:50:15,720
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, I mean, that's a toxic mentality

1099
00:50:15,719 --> 00:50:17,399
Speaker 1: to be like, oh, there could be always someone better

1100
00:50:17,440 --> 00:50:21,120
Speaker 1: out there. But it's just that like this is this

1101
00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:24,320
Speaker 1: isn't a It doesn't feel like a partnership at all anymore.

1102
00:50:24,520 --> 00:50:27,120
Speaker 2: You can just find someone that's good. You haven't done

1103
00:50:27,160 --> 00:50:29,200
Speaker 2: that yet. It's not a good.

1104
00:50:29,239 --> 00:50:32,120
Speaker 1: There's someone out there who'd be totally down to give

1105
00:50:32,160 --> 00:50:35,560
Speaker 1: you a freaking back massage after you take care of

1106
00:50:35,960 --> 00:50:40,680
Speaker 1: the house with that chronic injury and pain. Like there's

1107
00:50:40,680 --> 00:50:42,880
Speaker 1: no doesn't feel like there's any empathy.

1108
00:50:42,520 --> 00:50:45,759
Speaker 2: For you there exactly, it's not there is a little

1109
00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:48,400
Speaker 2: bit more to the story. Side notes. When we first

1110
00:50:48,440 --> 00:50:51,319
Speaker 2: got together, she had an absolutely zero idea what it

1111
00:50:51,360 --> 00:50:54,279
Speaker 2: meant to be in a relationship. This younger generation is

1112
00:50:54,320 --> 00:50:57,359
Speaker 2: being let down by broken homes and parents. Women are

1113
00:50:57,360 --> 00:51:00,600
Speaker 2: taught to control a man and get from a but

1114
00:51:01,040 --> 00:51:03,400
Speaker 2: not how to treat him. Men are taught to catch

1115
00:51:03,400 --> 00:51:07,000
Speaker 2: and release. Hook Up culture discourages long term commitment. Since

1116
00:51:07,080 --> 00:51:09,400
Speaker 2: day one, it's been an exercise to educate her on

1117
00:51:09,440 --> 00:51:12,319
Speaker 2: healthy relationships. We still have issues, but for the most part,

1118
00:51:12,480 --> 00:51:15,919
Speaker 2: if you do for yourself, you check your partner too.

1119
00:51:16,280 --> 00:51:19,279
Speaker 2: I'm physically limited. My earning potential is capped. Because of this,

1120
00:51:19,480 --> 00:51:22,480
Speaker 2: I probably rate low in the dating world. I cannot

1121
00:51:22,520 --> 00:51:26,120
Speaker 2: imagine finding someone again without feeling exhausted. My time for

1122
00:51:26,200 --> 00:51:28,480
Speaker 2: kids has passed. I don't want to burden child with

1123
00:51:28,520 --> 00:51:32,120
Speaker 2: my issues. Life after her isn't appealing. Ten years, I

1124
00:51:32,239 --> 00:51:35,520
Speaker 2: just don't know what to do. More spicy sleep, more dishes.

1125
00:51:35,760 --> 00:51:38,480
Speaker 2: Maybe I'm the a hole. If you have solid advice

1126
00:51:38,560 --> 00:51:41,640
Speaker 2: one way or another, I truly appreciate it. Thanks. And

1127
00:51:41,800 --> 00:51:43,959
Speaker 2: do we have their age difference again?

1128
00:51:44,160 --> 00:51:47,080
Speaker 3: I think checking into that right now, it was like

1129
00:51:47,120 --> 00:51:49,520
Speaker 3: ten years, it is ten years. I do believe which

1130
00:51:49,560 --> 00:51:50,640
Speaker 3: is making the comments.

1131
00:51:50,680 --> 00:51:53,800
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, forty and thirty very divided forty and thirty

1132
00:51:53,840 --> 00:51:55,919
Speaker 2: and they've been together for ten years, so they got

1133
00:51:55,960 --> 00:51:57,240
Speaker 2: together at twenty and thirty.

1134
00:51:57,320 --> 00:51:59,520
Speaker 3: There was a couple comments that he made of having

1135
00:51:59,560 --> 00:52:01,000
Speaker 3: a ten your head start.

1136
00:52:01,520 --> 00:52:05,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, that is true. Weird, Yeah, that part got a

1137
00:52:05,200 --> 00:52:06,080
Speaker 2: little weird there.

1138
00:52:06,440 --> 00:52:08,239
Speaker 1: I mean it's like you you knew that going into

1139
00:52:08,280 --> 00:52:11,120
Speaker 1: it though, Yeah, yeah, you can't complain about you can't

1140
00:52:11,120 --> 00:52:12,680
Speaker 1: complain about that. You knew that going into it.

1141
00:52:12,719 --> 00:52:14,279
Speaker 3: But I think, no, no, no, but she could be like

1142
00:52:14,320 --> 00:52:16,560
Speaker 3: ten years behind and like learning and growing who she

1143
00:52:16,640 --> 00:52:17,320
Speaker 3: is as a person.

1144
00:52:17,440 --> 00:52:20,319
Speaker 1: Low key, Yeah, I think maybe, Uh, get out of there,

1145
00:52:20,360 --> 00:52:22,400
Speaker 1: I hear you. But it's just I don't even know

1146
00:52:22,640 --> 00:52:25,920
Speaker 1: if it matters at this point. Who the ahoy is.

1147
00:52:26,080 --> 00:52:29,680
Speaker 1: It's just a situation that's not working and you've talked

1148
00:52:29,719 --> 00:52:32,160
Speaker 1: about it a lot and it's not getting better and

1149
00:52:32,200 --> 00:52:35,560
Speaker 1: it's been years and the sunk cost fallacy is exactly that.

1150
00:52:35,640 --> 00:52:38,840
Speaker 1: It's a fallacy. Yeah, you don't have to like, so

1151
00:52:39,040 --> 00:52:41,439
Speaker 1: are you going to do another ten years and it's

1152
00:52:41,480 --> 00:52:44,200
Speaker 1: just going to continue to go down? Right? Do you

1153
00:52:44,239 --> 00:52:47,359
Speaker 1: see any way for this to get better? She's you know.

1154
00:52:49,320 --> 00:52:52,280
Speaker 2: If you think this is if if you are feeling

1155
00:52:52,320 --> 00:52:53,840
Speaker 2: this way after ten years and you think that it

1156
00:52:53,880 --> 00:52:56,600
Speaker 2: can like get better or something, or if you think

1157
00:52:56,600 --> 00:52:57,920
Speaker 2: you can just deal with this for the rest of

1158
00:52:57,960 --> 00:52:59,800
Speaker 2: your life. How long are you planning on living, because

1159
00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:01,680
Speaker 2: it might be a long time for you to be

1160
00:53:01,719 --> 00:53:02,359
Speaker 2: dealing with this.

1161
00:53:02,520 --> 00:53:05,360
Speaker 1: You'rely forty. Yeah, I just I just don't. I just

1162
00:53:05,360 --> 00:53:07,120
Speaker 1: don't see this going And you know what, don't be

1163
00:53:07,280 --> 00:53:09,720
Speaker 1: don't be a pessimist by yourself. This buny of fish

1164
00:53:10,080 --> 00:53:13,360
Speaker 1: swimming around in the sea, that's right, And you know

1165
00:53:13,680 --> 00:53:16,439
Speaker 1: you sound like you sound like a not a bad guy,

1166
00:53:16,880 --> 00:53:18,719
Speaker 1: right right, right.

1167
00:53:19,239 --> 00:53:23,319
Speaker 2: For what we know, don't seem like it. But what

1168
00:53:23,560 --> 00:53:26,879
Speaker 2: we do know is that that's the end of that episode.

1169
00:53:27,320 --> 00:53:29,480
Speaker 2: So if you love us, make sure to subscribe.

1170
00:53:29,600 --> 00:53:32,160
Speaker 1: We love you and shit at all.