Speaker 1: All right, it's your Second Date Update podcast with Brook
Speaker 1: and Jeffrey in the Morning, the home of the Second Date,
Speaker 1: and today we have a listener who thought he had
Speaker 1: the world's most perfect date. You really did tell? He
Speaker 1: got a one word text? What a half an hour
Speaker 1: after the date? Was quick after him?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Pretty quick? I mean, And that's the question. What is
Speaker 1: your go to rejection text? You know?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: One word?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just send a vomit emoji. Oh wow, wow,
Speaker 1: that's Is that too harsh? I'm out a dating game
Speaker 1: for a minute.
Speaker 2: You have to ask is that a bad say?
Speaker 1: What do you make me sick?
Speaker 3: I'll see you tomorrow.
Speaker 1: How do you end a conversation with somebody?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: I mean I talk too much. It's definitely not one word.
Speaker 1: It's like a paragraph and like emally sorry, but like
Speaker 1: we's going out his friends. But I really enjoyed it,
Speaker 1: and you're so nice. I wish the best, you know,
Speaker 1: I don't want to read. Yeah exactly? All right, leave
Speaker 1: it in the comments what yours is? And sit back
Speaker 1: and enjoy the second date today?
Speaker 3: Yeah, Second Date Update. You ever have a date with
Speaker 3: someone where you plan to do one thing together, but
Speaker 3: then the date night gets closer, and suddenly you decide, eh,
Speaker 3: you know what, forget dinner, let's do paintball instead. You
Speaker 3: get a little closer, and plans change again, and then
Speaker 3: your plans change another time. Oh I keep changing. Some
Speaker 3: people could see that and think, oh, this person is
Speaker 3: spontaneous and creative.
Speaker 1: Or just indecisive.
Speaker 3: Others might see it as chaotic and indecisive. Today, our listener,
Speaker 3: James isn't sure where he falls because he says his
Speaker 3: plans kept changing, So didn't go out on two dates,
Speaker 3: didn't go out on one? He calls it one date
Speaker 3: and a half.
Speaker 1: Oh, that's interesting.
Speaker 3: Let's learn about it. James, welcome to the show.
Speaker 4: Hey, thank you guys so much.
Speaker 1: You get it. There's a couple indecisive people, including myself
Speaker 1: on this show. So don't understand you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, are you indecisive?
Speaker 1: You keep changing plans?
Speaker 3: Or does this the world keep changing your plans? No?
Speaker 4: I mean you know life is life, and you know
Speaker 4: life and.
Speaker 3: Put that on a bumper. Yeah yeah, okay, but life
Speaker 3: was coming at you and you had to switch things
Speaker 3: up right.
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: I mean because after our first date, man, she texts
Speaker 4: me and says she had a great time. You want
Speaker 4: to do it again?
Speaker 1: Right? Wait, who is she? We don't know who she is?
Speaker 4: Okay, her name is Lisa and absolutely gorgeous. She could
Speaker 4: be Zoli's on, Donna's older sister.
Speaker 3: Whoa, yeah, wow, I don't know who that is. But
Speaker 3: the name is the blue girl from Avatar.
Speaker 1: Yeah. You can't really see what she looks like in
Speaker 1: that anything like that.
Speaker 4: Then, I mean, she's not smurf feed, but she's beautiful.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's awesome, that's exciting. Where did you meet her?
Speaker 1: Did you say, I'm sorry.
Speaker 4: But we met on a dating app?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 4: And so yeah, we have the same interest and stuff
Speaker 4: like that. I have, like my own company, I have
Speaker 4: to travel a lot, and I know with her with
Speaker 4: her job, she has to travel.
Speaker 1: So okay, that's always nice to find somebody who understands that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're both business right right.
Speaker 4: But I mean, like for three weeks, you know, we
Speaker 4: were just can we meet here? And she's like, oh no,
Speaker 4: my schedule. I got to go out of town. Okay,
Speaker 4: all right, first week out of town. Then the following
Speaker 4: week I had to go out of town. So one
Speaker 4: day I said, well, hey, well what about here, let's
Speaker 4: meet at this place. She said, well, you know, my
Speaker 4: girls were going to.
Speaker 3: Brunch a day.
Speaker 4: I said, well, hey, after your brunch, let's just hang
Speaker 4: out and just have some drinks or something.
Speaker 1: More drinks, because brunch doesn't come without drinks.
Speaker 3: The fact that anybody could walk away from a brunch
Speaker 3: is that's just impressive in itself, right right.
Speaker 4: And I mean if we didn't go there, I mean,
Speaker 4: if it was a nice little place that was next door,
Speaker 4: that we could have had our privacy.
Speaker 1: Okay, well that's nice too, because like you're trying to
Speaker 1: accommodate her busy schedule. Yeah, I'm sure she appreciated that.
Speaker 3: Okay, so how did she was on to that idea?
Speaker 4: Well, see, that's what I'm gonna say. Man. Her response
Speaker 4: was like, never mind.
Speaker 3: I like what wait?
Speaker 1: And this is after you'd already gone on one good.
Speaker 4: Date, right, we did on one to date. I was
Speaker 4: trying to get a half date by going like after brunch.
Speaker 4: But again, I know, three weeks had passed. I know,
Speaker 4: things happen and you get back into your routine. So
Speaker 4: I'm like, yo, at least let me see you or something.
Speaker 4: You know, let's let's just drive by each other and
Speaker 4: wave by.
Speaker 1: But I'm like what happened that is weird?
Speaker 3: Or maybe she does know like me and my friends
Speaker 3: get drinks, I don't want to meet up with you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, planning stuff back to back can feel so overwhelmed.
Speaker 3: Yeah, totally.
Speaker 1: Did she plan anything else with you after that?
Speaker 4: She said never mind? And I mean even she could
Speaker 4: have said, well, could we meet before the brunch so early?
Speaker 1: I let's get a grid pair.
Speaker 2: Yea.
Speaker 3: So before we keep going, let's just rewind back for
Speaker 3: a second here, James, can we know a little bit
Speaker 3: about date number one?
Speaker 1: That's a good point, Like where did you guys go?
Speaker 3: What was so great about it? Just give us a
Speaker 3: few details so that we know what it was like.
Speaker 4: So we went to this Italian restaurant, real nice during
Speaker 4: happy hour and had a great time salad, you know, pops,
Speaker 4: and we're trying to watch those carbs and stuff, but.
Speaker 1: Salad, great time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, as much as much dressing as you.
Speaker 4: Want, exactly exactly.
Speaker 1: I never understand why people who were worried about carbs
Speaker 1: go to an Italian restaurant. That is, that's all right?
Speaker 1: I mean, how was the conversation, the connection between you two?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean it was good. We had great conversation.
Speaker 4: We found out we liked certain things, you know, our
Speaker 4: spirit animal. I don't want to go into too much detail,
Speaker 4: but okay, hey, I forgot to say, and she we
Speaker 4: did have a kiss.
Speaker 1: You did?
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 4: There was a kid's right, you know, at the end
Speaker 4: of the day, nothing to elaborate, but just nice kids
Speaker 4: like cool. And then I get this text. She enjoyed it,
Speaker 4: she had a great time, and she said, let's do
Speaker 4: this again.
Speaker 1: So there was like no doubt in your mind that
Speaker 1: this was going somewhere exactly.
Speaker 4: I think, like the scheduling thing, I understood, but I don't.
Speaker 4: I don't understand, like why this was like never.
Speaker 3: Mind, And so there hasn't been there's never been a
Speaker 3: second meet up that's materialized out of all this.
Speaker 2: Correct.
Speaker 4: I would like for it, but nah.
Speaker 1: Why'd we say there was one and a half then
Speaker 1: there was only one?
Speaker 4: I guess the brunch it didn't happen.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it didn't.
Speaker 3: Well, it did happen with her and her girlfriends. He
Speaker 3: just wasn't there.
Speaker 1: That doesn't count for you in the guy's world. That
Speaker 1: counts desperate man.
Speaker 3: Well that's where we're at.
Speaker 1: Le four days last week they all said no.
Speaker 3: But in my mind we were parties. So James, we're
Speaker 3: going to reach out to Lisa for you. We'll see
Speaker 3: if she picks up, and then we'll try and get
Speaker 3: you your second date update right after this. Hold on,
Speaker 3: I think second date update if you're just joining us
Speaker 3: for the second date update, our listener, James has spent
Speaker 3: the last three weeks arranging and rearranging plans, desperately trying
Speaker 3: to meet up with a woman named Lisa, who he
Speaker 3: already went out with once and Brooks yawning about.
Speaker 1: The three cap that coffee.
Speaker 3: First date it was it was yes, according to.
Speaker 1: Her out on that stop, nobody would have known.
Speaker 3: I'm just looking around the room now sixteen other people
Speaker 3: just yawned into I'm just saying, according to James and
Speaker 3: to Lisa because she responded afterwards that it was great.
Speaker 3: They had a good kiss, a top notch Caesar salad,
Speaker 3: everything you could ever want in a romantic first meet up.
Speaker 3: And now, after all that effort, the last thing that
Speaker 3: Lisa texted him was never mind. It's one of the
Speaker 3: top three worst things a woman can send to a guy.
Speaker 3: But James, we're gonna try and help you get this
Speaker 3: thing back on track.
Speaker 4: All right, it sounds great.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I feel like I only say never mind when.
Speaker 3: I'm mad, that's the thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it feels like a mad response for sure. Did
Speaker 1: have a period at the end of never mind.
Speaker 3: It's like end of conversation? Was it never mine?
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 3: Well, now I don't even know if she'll pick up.
Speaker 3: But seriously, let's see if she answers. I'm gonna dial
Speaker 3: her number right now. Hopefully we can get some answers
Speaker 3: out of her. But here we go. Hello, Hey, is
Speaker 3: this Lisa. Yeah, we're We're a radio show called Brook
Speaker 3: and Jeffrey in the Morning.
Speaker 2: Good morning, Hi, Why are you calling me?
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're doing this segment it's called second Date Update,
Speaker 3: where we try to help out listeners who've gone out
Speaker 3: with somebody and they're having trouble arranging that second meetup.
Speaker 3: We try and help facilitate it or figure out if
Speaker 3: there's a reason why the other person doesn't want to
Speaker 3: see them again. Yeah, and you can't say never mind participation?
Speaker 2: Okay, And you're calling me why.
Speaker 3: Cause a little while ago, almost a month ago, you
Speaker 3: went out with one of our listeners named it long ago,
Speaker 3: he said, three weeks ago with a guy named James.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not in contact with him.
Speaker 1: Yeahs that we got that vibe. It sounds like it
Speaker 1: things shifted though. Did it shift for you because at
Speaker 1: first he thought you were liking him.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess.
Speaker 3: I mean the thing that's confusing to him is that
Speaker 3: after that first date he said to you, guys even
Speaker 3: texted each other about having a great time, and you
Speaker 3: said you really wanted to meet up again?
Speaker 1: Or were you just pulling like a Lexus Wood and
Speaker 1: just trying to be nice?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: I mean honestly, I wouldn't have said it if I
Speaker 2: didn't mean it.
Speaker 1: But that was then Okay, so something is what happened?
Speaker 2: Well, Okay, so I texted him and I did tell
Speaker 2: him that I had a wonderful time and we were
Speaker 2: trying to meet up to see each other.
Speaker 1: Okay, And so at that point you're excited about him, right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean absolutely. But it went from let me
Speaker 2: buy you dinner, and then it went to let's get drinks,
Speaker 2: then let me buy you drinks after brunch with my friends.
Speaker 2: And I'm the type of woman where if a guy
Speaker 2: says he wants to buy me dinner, then I'm going
Speaker 2: to hold him to that. And you know, however, with James,
Speaker 2: our potential meetups became progressively worse.
Speaker 3: So you you felt like as the conversation went on,
Speaker 3: he was willing to put less effort into meeting up
Speaker 3: with you.
Speaker 2: Listen, when a man says that he wants to buy
Speaker 2: you dinner, and then I expect him to buy me
Speaker 2: dinner and not say, okay, let me buy your dinner
Speaker 2: and dinner. Next thing is like, okay, you know what,
Speaker 2: you know what, let me get you drinks, you know what,
Speaker 2: you know what, Let's just meet up after you hang
Speaker 2: out with your friends and we'll just spend a little
Speaker 2: ten minutes.
Speaker 1: Okay, So it didn't make you feel special, But did
Speaker 1: you have time to get dinner? I thought you didn't
Speaker 1: have time.
Speaker 2: Well, there were times that I didn't have time, and
Speaker 2: there were times where he didn't have time. But you
Speaker 2: make time, Okay, plan it out and you make time.
Speaker 2: It's just not a drive by. Oh let me just
Speaker 2: see you real quick and keep going like I don't
Speaker 2: even know you like that.
Speaker 1: It's weird because like I think he took it as
Speaker 1: he was putting an extra effort to try to make it. You.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like shift around you, and I know that. You know,
Speaker 3: making time is very important. He's made time to be
Speaker 3: on the phone with you right now listening on the
Speaker 3: other line waiting to talk to you.
Speaker 1: Talk about effort.
Speaker 2: You didn't tell me that he was going to be
Speaker 2: in a phone, Yeah, we did. Just now.
Speaker 3: I think this is a misunderstanding, honestly, James, talk to her.
Speaker 4: Well, yeah, I mean, Lisa, I'm not treating you as
Speaker 4: a drive by. I was trying to make time so
Speaker 4: I can at least see you and so we can
Speaker 4: have conversation. But that was the whole purpose of doing it,
Speaker 4: so you can get to know me.
Speaker 2: James. You text me, let me buy you dinner, and
Speaker 2: having drinks after being with my girls is not buy
Speaker 2: any dinner.
Speaker 4: Well, I didn't realize I had to be a bread
Speaker 4: basket in order to hang out with you.
Speaker 2: Oh, I don't even know what that means either.
Speaker 4: I don't mean if you go to a dinner, they
Speaker 4: usually give you bread before you have your dinner.
Speaker 1: To her, and I don't know that that's exactly what
Speaker 1: she's saying there.
Speaker 4: No, that's exactly what she's saying. Because if I'm giving
Speaker 4: an effort to meet you, and you said you want
Speaker 4: to get dinner with it. There's two people at the
Speaker 4: same time, you know.
Speaker 2: God, way you suggest dinner after the brunch, you could
Speaker 2: have said, we went, you can go to dinner after
Speaker 2: brunch bunch.
Speaker 1: I can't eat that much.
Speaker 2: I mean I get hurt, Like, not directly after, but
Speaker 2: later on that same day. Clearly I had time to
Speaker 2: go on a brunch.
Speaker 4: Then maybe later on that evening I would.
Speaker 3: Have had time for dinner.
Speaker 2: But you didn't think about that, I said it.
Speaker 4: Maybe no neither neither did you think about that? And
Speaker 4: I didn't know you love language with food like that?
Speaker 4: How about that I didn't know you loved this time
Speaker 4: and consideration then either?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I think honestly, everybody needs to just
Speaker 3: relax just a little bit because this just sounds like
Speaker 3: a big communication misunderstanding. We're forgetting that they had a
Speaker 3: great first date. They both admitted it. That's true that
Speaker 3: the conversation was great and the chemistry was on and
Speaker 3: the only problem that has come up is communicating how
Speaker 3: and when to meet up the second time.
Speaker 1: So James, I mean that would be like, do you
Speaker 1: not want to meet her for dinner?
Speaker 4: Like, isn't dinner at this point I read to just
Speaker 4: send a door dash and she can have a full
Speaker 4: course meal.
Speaker 1: I think she just wants the energy, not someone to
Speaker 1: pay for her dinner. She just wants the thoughtfulness, is
Speaker 1: what it sounds like.
Speaker 3: Exactly, Lisa, this was thoughtful. When we first talked to James,
Speaker 3: he described you as Zoe Saldana's younger, hotter sister.
Speaker 4: No, I actually said the older.
Speaker 3: Well I'm trying to protect you here, James, so maybe
Speaker 3: he just go with what I said.
Speaker 2: He called me the older, but she's not that.
Speaker 3: How did the cup up in backfire?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I mean, how about this? How about this? Think
Speaker 1: of this, Lisa. He went out of his way to
Speaker 1: get a radio station to call you because he wanted
Speaker 1: to see you that much. That is effort.
Speaker 2: It sounds like he had you called me to embarrass me. No,
Speaker 2: it doesn't sound he was trying to flatter me.
Speaker 3: No, it's the opposite. He wants to go out and
Speaker 3: actually spend time at a dinner with you, a dinner
Speaker 3: that we would pay for if you'll agree to meet
Speaker 3: up with him again. Well that was at the start.
Speaker 3: I don't know about ye. Delete the last three weeks
Speaker 3: from your mind and just remember after that first date,
Speaker 3: how good you felt about each other?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know now because I feel like he's
Speaker 2: gonna he might stand me up.
Speaker 1: What why would he stand you?
Speaker 4: Was create? Okay, no, no, no, no, no, she's creating stuff now.
Speaker 4: Now she's gone from a happy hour to a hostile hour,
Speaker 4: which is gonna probably lead to a hot dinner.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, okay, So wait, does that mean that you're
Speaker 1: not interested in a date?
Speaker 2: He said, no, yeah, I'm not interested in going on
Speaker 2: with that went back.
Speaker 4: Okay, okay, and that's okay. The feeling is mutual.
Speaker 3: Wow, okay, well that's what doesn't work out.
Speaker 1: They've shifted those shift Yeah.
Speaker 3: And Jesus words, life is life, life, life, And right now,
Speaker 3: am I right? James? The thrill is gone. But the
Speaker 3: second dates or second dating they really are, sure Jeffrey
Speaker 3: in the morning, you know, by the end of that call,
Speaker 3: I don't know if there was anything that we could
Speaker 3: have said to save that situation. Yeah, they kind of
Speaker 3: took over.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think dating is hard for both of them
Speaker 1: right now, and they just took it out on each other,
Speaker 1: like I just say thing about you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like it's just like, ah, I hate it all. They're
Speaker 1: both too busy to sleep deprived. Maybe it's like.
Speaker 3: I want more than thirty minutes, want dinner. I just
Speaker 3: want to see you right. But on a positive note,
Speaker 3: James did give us three of our top quotes for
Speaker 3: the entire year. Happy Hour turned into Hostile Hour. Life
Speaker 3: keeps on life in movie and you want a bread
Speaker 3: basket with that wine that I don't think I I
Speaker 3: kind of work shopped.
Speaker 1: It, James.
Speaker 3: I changed it a little bit.
Speaker 1: I mean I actually basket with that. I always want
Speaker 1: a bread basket. So my response is always.
Speaker 3: Going to be yes. The whole thing was promises made,
Speaker 3: promises not kept.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 3: Goodness is we don't make any promises. When you go
Speaker 3: listen to us on podcasts at Brook and Jeffrey just
Speaker 3: life is life and all it. Yeah, that's how we do.
Speaker 3: Go check it out online wherever you get your podcasts
Speaker 3: at
Speaker 1: Brook and Jeffrey Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning,