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Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode Alchemy. This I'm your host,

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Speaker 1: Kevin Pollock as that Kevin bog was that? Nope, I

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Speaker 1: don't believe I was unclear about that, Jerously check my text.

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Speaker 1: All right, yeah fine, I'll wait you see your dick.

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Speaker 1: But I digress. Let's mean are alchemist? Shall we know particular?

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Speaker 1: Or say hello sweet or savory? Savory? All the wavery baby? Yep,

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Speaker 1: that's correct answer. Grab your keys. Craig is ready to go.

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Speaker 1: When do people bother you most? I think the first

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Speaker 1: thing in the morning. People, I mean my wife. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: the only person who's there too much information must kill

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Speaker 1: Hold the hash Browns. It's James Heeney, June, Jimmy Guantanamo. Hey,

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Speaker 1: if you get your wish, what will Santa bring you

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Speaker 1: this year? Well, I'll tell you what Santa will bring

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Speaker 1: me this year if my wish really does come true.

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Speaker 1: More reviews like this one here. The title is Brilliance,

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Speaker 1: and it says this show is so great that I

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Speaker 1: dug up my two thousand seven iTunes passed were just

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Speaker 1: to review it. This cast is quick, witted, talented, and

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Speaker 1: guaranteed to bring home some joy. According to so many listeners,

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Speaker 1: will either keep you entertained on your daily commute, or

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Speaker 1: make you nearly crash on the highway from uncontrollable laughter,

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Speaker 1: regardless of highly recommended to anyone. That's from Clippy from

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Speaker 1: word via app podcast Clippy, don't keep us in the

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Speaker 1: talk about they're talking about our show. Like my Christmas

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Speaker 1: gift would be people digging up their two thousand seven

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Speaker 1: password and reviewing our show. That's so sweet. Thank you

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Speaker 1: Clippy and James for reminding people how good it makes Senel.

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Speaker 1: I mean, when we started requesting, all of a sudden,

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Speaker 1: there's been an explosion of amazing awesome and it's helped.

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Speaker 1: It's helped miraculously. So please keep them coming and James

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Speaker 1: will keep reading them. Try to lock again. It's Chris Alvarado,

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Speaker 1: Chris burg Alvarado Stein. What sound makes you happy? Damn?

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Speaker 1: But no more good cheer for you if you think

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Speaker 1: of Lisa's Joey grab, Joseph Marion baby geez, what did

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Speaker 1: the doctor say? Uh? Stats now, Uh, I don't know doctor?

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Speaker 1: Was he confused? Yeah? He was? I was in I

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Speaker 1: was in for arson. Yeah, you got locked up. You

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Speaker 1: had to get some fire removed as a prison doctor.

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Speaker 1: All right, Thanks for sharing. We like all of you

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Speaker 1: to consider becoming a v I P member of our

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Speaker 1: Patreon page. Bonus episodes and scenes not available anywhere else, uh,

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Speaker 1: special content just made for you. Like these meetups, We're

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Speaker 1: gonna do another one uh coming up in a couple

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Speaker 1: of weeks where we gather, we answer your questions with

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Speaker 1: stream live um and then we recorded and put up

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Speaker 1: on the patron page. Available to v I P s only,

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Speaker 1: and there's a phone number that that is there available

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Speaker 1: you can call in with a request a quest in

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Speaker 1: for any of us and I will reply uh immediatemente. Again,

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Speaker 1: available only to our v I P s PA. Please

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Speaker 1: come join the supercore fans were going to patreon dot

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Speaker 1: com slash alchemy. The patreon dot com slash alchemy. The

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Speaker 1: all of our scene suggestions today we're gathered from our

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Speaker 1: listener emails. I love going through them and curating the

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Speaker 1: one that we then use on the show. Of course,

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Speaker 1: if you're a Patreon member v I P, you get

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Speaker 1: Can I say something? Because I look through the v

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Speaker 1: the Patreon stuff, can you if it's a suggestion put

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Speaker 1: this is for Kevin, because then as soon as I

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Speaker 1: find out it's a suggestion, I stopped reading, So that's

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Speaker 1: a surprise to me. But sometimes I've seen in the

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Speaker 1: messages there will be this is I'm just realizing this.

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Speaker 1: So just for the list why do you stop reading?

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Speaker 1: Because I don't want to know the suggestion before we

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Speaker 1: come out and improvise. That is so cute, but it

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Speaker 1: usually is me finding out that I'm reading a suggestion.

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Speaker 1: It's only happened a couple of times. But if it's

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Speaker 1: for Kevin James, is suggest were app that's childlike uh energy,

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Speaker 1: honestly we do. So my suggestion, I guess, is just

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Speaker 1: nut not to tell these people to stop, but rather

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Speaker 1: to tell you to stop reading. No, no, it just

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Speaker 1: needs to go in the subject line just this is

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Speaker 1: for Kevin, and then I won't If it's if it's

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Speaker 1: a message that is a suggestion, then I won't read it.

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Speaker 1: That's a great idea. I apologize it definitely. Keeping yes.

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Speaker 1: If you'd like to write in a scene suggestion Patreon

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Speaker 1: member or not write to us at your name here

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Speaker 1: at alchemy this dot com. That's your name here at

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Speaker 1: alchemy this dot com. A first scene, in fact, comes

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Speaker 1: from listener Julia, who wrote, dear Alchemy, this crew. I

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Speaker 1: had no idea how much I enjoyed James he needs

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Speaker 1: characters until I listened to an episode that he was

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Speaker 1: absent from and was legitimately disappointed for a good chunk

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Speaker 1: of my morning. Well, that kind of ships on the

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Speaker 1: rest of us. Sorry, Jimmy Jackie would gem anyway, here's

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Speaker 1: my idea. A couple takes their first trip to the

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Speaker 1: farmer's market, where they gradually noticed that the farmers have

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Speaker 1: been doing odd things to the proteins. Each of you

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Speaker 1: bring something uniquely brilliant to the podcast. Thanks for fulfilling

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Speaker 1: my bi weekly need for cleverly executed, grossly offensive comedy. Goal.

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Speaker 1: That's Julia from Chicago. PS I dug up my iTunes

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Speaker 1: password from two thousand and seven. Just I copy and

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Speaker 1: pasted this three days ago. When I put these scenes together,

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Speaker 1: knowing you were going to read that, I have six

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Speaker 1: that I've coasted done to these papers. It was a

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Speaker 1: one and six chance out of many many reviews. You

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Speaker 1: know what, let's just go to the second. I think

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Speaker 1: that's a great idea. She did all the work for us, Honey,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to get any more tomatoes. It's every

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Speaker 1: time I'm at the market tomatoes. I do, but I

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Speaker 1: just feel like they go back and don't you like

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Speaker 1: tomatoes sandwiches? And don't you like tomato jelly? Let's have

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Speaker 1: smart sure, high folks. You want to smell a clementine clon? Okay,

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Speaker 1: clementine tomatoes? Oh my god? Are there clementine tomatoes? Well?

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Speaker 1: I wish they were comedia. Clementine is an orange. It

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Speaker 1: smells like an orange orange. Oh that does smell good.

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Speaker 1: Don't know what you peel it? Have you seen fruit before?

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Speaker 1: I've heard of it? Tomatoes a fruit? Where's your farm?

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Speaker 1: Our farm is is in Harvard? Okay, not the Harvard

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Speaker 1: of course. Yeah, no, it's Harvard out here in California,

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Speaker 1: Harvard Farms. And we're completely organic, non GMO. Oh great,

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Speaker 1: what kind of minority you is we use by the fertilizer? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we use full Pete manure suggestion pete. Yeah, Pete is

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Speaker 1: an old Uh you know, I'm eating the rind and

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Speaker 1: it's not bad. Okay, don't eat the rind. But but

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Speaker 1: that's good that you like it. I mean, don't like it.

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Speaker 1: It's I think indicative of the Pete fertilizer that we use.

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Speaker 1: Maybe it is I wouldn't know what the price on

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Speaker 1: the on thee. Yeah, that's what they are? Two fur

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Speaker 1: two for what? Two for? Oh? There are two first

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Speaker 1: two fur? Okay? Three were three? Okay, all right, so

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Speaker 1: that's uh, that's going to mess up your math. Two

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Speaker 1: f six oranges? Okay, great, okay, cool, that'd be eighteen dollars.

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Speaker 1: Eighteen dollars. That's six dollars six two. Yeah, so that's

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Speaker 1: three dollars per climate. They're very good. They're coming on

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Speaker 1: over to my standing. You want to get some Let

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Speaker 1: me show you something special. What have I told you?

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Speaker 1: A space rock that happened to be raining on two

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Speaker 1: Cruity four landing on my farm. Ud be surprised, you

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Speaker 1: even be surprised. I was surprised when it started making

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Speaker 1: my fruits growing on irregular size and right, uh they're irregular,

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Speaker 1: but I'll tell you what they taste delicious. Here, smell

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Speaker 1: this here, acorn, that's a fruit and it's not a fruit.

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Speaker 1: This is this is an acorn? Okay, like an acorn? Okay,

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Speaker 1: well scratch it. Okay, Oh it's lighting up. Oh that's

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Speaker 1: pretty cool. Now, don't crack that open inside of a

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Speaker 1: public place, because if you smash that with a hammer

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Speaker 1: like a typical acorn, it could cause an explosion. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I don't want that. If this is okay, well, this

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Speaker 1: one's dangerous. But what if we gave you something that

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Speaker 1: was softer. We gave you this cucumber, but I think

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Speaker 1: we've got to sail here. Please don't take that cucumber.

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Speaker 1: You know I'm not looking for any of these product.

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Speaker 1: I can't give you this cucumber. Sir. You said you're

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Speaker 1: looking for some meat. I am that cut. Leave those

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Speaker 1: freaks alone. Come over here to my store. Okay, excuse me,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Yeah, you wish, wish. I don't wish. I've

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Speaker 1: got a girlfriend. You're only seventeen, so what so stop

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Speaker 1: coming on to me. I'm not coming on you. I

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Speaker 1: got a girlfriend, I know my body. I'm not interested

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Speaker 1: in you. Don't send me pictures, don't send me text

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Speaker 1: about how you are dating other girls and trying to

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Speaker 1: get me all hot and bothered. I'm not trying to

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Speaker 1: get you. I'm not going to work. I'm sorry, Can

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Speaker 1: I can I just get through? I just want to

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Speaker 1: get over to the meet. Give me one second. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm right here. I'm your meat guy. Now I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: take a couple of things about this meet. One, all

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Speaker 1: very young cows, veal a little older than that. Okay, yeah,

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Speaker 1: all right, all heavily missile by yours, truly like babo.

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Speaker 1: And lastly, every slab of meat you see here I

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Speaker 1: have made love on. Okay, thank you very much. Don't

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Speaker 1: oh you hear that? You hear that I'm not I'm

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Speaker 1: not hearing that. This is my wife. I'm not going

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Speaker 1: to excuse me, don't leave. What do you want? What

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Speaker 1: do you want meat? Sir? Please stop chasing me down?

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Speaker 1: What do you want in meat? What can I do

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Speaker 1: for you? I don't want anyone to touch my wife. No,

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Speaker 1: I'm not touch do not want to touch her? Thank

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Speaker 1: you very much. I have to go. You don't have

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Speaker 1: to go. You want to go. I have to go

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Speaker 1: to Baboo. You and I had a thing, but we

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Speaker 1: didn't have a thing. Yeah we do. You don't you

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Speaker 1: want that fresh fresh meat? Don't you want your burgers

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Speaker 1: to just slide down your throat? Right? Don't you want

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Speaker 1: a piece of meat that you can just no? Thank you?

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Speaker 1: Thank you? All right, You're welcome you, Thank you well,

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Speaker 1: Karen M. I still love you. Attention shoppers. Ile seven

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Speaker 1: has fresh toilet paper? Did I hear that correctly? It

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Speaker 1: sounds like you said there's a toilet paper where would

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Speaker 1: there be aisle seven? Well, if you just consider each

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Speaker 1: breaking point in between stalls and aisles, and that's just

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Speaker 1: starting at which ends the start? Think you guys understand,

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Speaker 1: why don't we just let's go, let's go all of

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Speaker 1: a sudden, this is a costco come with? All? Right?

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Speaker 1: This is as seven? Okay, how are you determining? This

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Speaker 1: is counted seven from the beginning? Holy sh it, there's

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Speaker 1: toilet paper? What's going on? You guy? Fresh toilet paper?

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Speaker 1: What's the meaning of this? Why is it fresh? What

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Speaker 1: makes it fresh? Yeah? We just pup pulled it up?

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Speaker 1: What is the prices? How many roles? Seven? Ship? Hold

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Speaker 1: on a second? Seven rolls? Seven roules times? How many

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Speaker 1: seven rolls? Here? You guys high I'm not entirely sure

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Speaker 1: of want any Can I sample some? Wh What do

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Speaker 1: you mean? Absolutely? Take a sample? There's open toilet river?

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Speaker 1: Why don't know? Rub it against your face? You're not

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Speaker 1: you're not testing? Or rub toilet paper off my face.

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Speaker 1: It's not for tissues like aisle twelves. You guys don't

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Speaker 1: sell facial tissues, no, he said, he said they did.

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Speaker 1: I could pulp some up for you ladies and gentlemen

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Speaker 1: of the farmers markets. For the next thirty seconds, it

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Speaker 1: is grabbing go anything you grab, boom boom. Thirty seconds

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Speaker 1: is over fast second man, I can discard this, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you can give it to me. Here you go, thank you.

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Speaker 1: Um sucks, but we just lost our toilet paper. That

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Speaker 1: sucks with Lestard toilet paper, Lester toilet Damn, dude, you

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Speaker 1: know what I'm thinking about doing? Bro? What you say? Fucking?

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Speaker 1: I keep up and go back home and fuck it,

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Speaker 1: funk I. Dude, Yeah, Son, what are you doing back?

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Speaker 1: The thing of the top favorite thing didn't work out?

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Speaker 1: I'm high? Oh my god, dogs our son Dale. He

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Speaker 1: has been smoking dope for years. You turn your face away.

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Speaker 1: You're always at the orchard. Of course, I'm at the orchard.

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Speaker 1: And Mr Mrs Parkinson, what you doing here? Lucas? Here?

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Speaker 1: I brought Luke Lucas. His eyes are red too big surprise.

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Speaker 1: You're both doing dope together. It could, they're saying the

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Speaker 1: they're not denying it. I don't know, abergies. I take clartin,

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Speaker 1: but I'm high as Tommy Home, Tommy the business it's good. Well, actually,

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Speaker 1: are you an entrepreneur? You going on Shark Tank? I

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Speaker 1: wish Okay, I'm gonna be. I'm gonna be Damon and

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Speaker 1: all the Shark Tank judges. You guys pitched me or

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Speaker 1: new thing? Are these cookies for everyone? They were? What

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Speaker 1: kind of cookies are you trying to turn into a business.

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Speaker 1: They're not trying to turn cookies into a baking I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: I don't mean to be harsh. Your brother has disappointed

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Speaker 1: your mother and I and Luke because you just did

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Speaker 1: appointed me because I think these cookies are good and

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Speaker 1: they could be a business. They're like toffee chucks in

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Speaker 1: here there? Really, yes, those are toffee. I didn't realize

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Speaker 1: you made this. You made I think baking every were married?

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, I didn't know. I think get out

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Speaker 1: of the orchard. I didn't know. Could you put your

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Speaker 1: hand outywhere as once your life and be a man

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Speaker 1: and a husband and a father. Maybe going home with

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Speaker 1: a bad call. I don't know. But look, I think

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Speaker 1: honestly we should. We got to start another business. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you're right, what do we know how to do? Breathe? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I can breathe moving cell like air. Hey, guys, you

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Speaker 1: went a yurt? You got a r Yeah, I got

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Speaker 1: a yurt. Yeah is one grand? That is one grand yurt. No, no, no, dude,

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Speaker 1: it's gonna cost you a thousand dollars if you want

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Speaker 1: this year. That's a great deal because I got it

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Speaker 1: for three thousand dollars. Well, that's kind of a bait

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Speaker 1: and switch. No, you said you want it and you

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Speaker 1: said you gotta pay for it. It's not a bait

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Speaker 1: and switch. It's just a bait and give details the

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Speaker 1: part of me, gentlemen, what's in the in the class?

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Speaker 1: And lady I was talking about the goods that they

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Speaker 1: had in front of them. This is just a table

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Speaker 1: that which I mean it's a air Wait, it's air?

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Speaker 1: What what kind of air? Uh like? Really pure purified air,

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Speaker 1: pures fu air. That sounds great, that's not what How

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Speaker 1: much how much for for a Mason Jar? For one

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Speaker 1: Missus jars? A thousand dollars? That's going to get to

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Speaker 1: the year. So what is it? So there's a five option,

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Speaker 1: there's a thousand dollar option. Yeah, what's the what's the

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Speaker 1: difference if you want? Yeah, the Mason Jar is gonna

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Speaker 1: be a grand If you just want the air loose,

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Speaker 1: it's five. Okay. If you brought you a Mason jar,

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Speaker 1: we can can it for you. I don't. I don't

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Speaker 1: have that. Okay, you know what? All right? Okay? Do

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Speaker 1: you take cash? Uh? Yeah, yeah, we do. I think. Okay,

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Speaker 1: here you go. That's you know, what's one thousand dollars

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Speaker 1: cash air. We're here every week, every week. Yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: so good to know. I thanks so much. Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: can we get there here? Yeah? Here you go. This

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Speaker 1: is a stick bundle is self explanatory, but we gotta

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Speaker 1: assemble it. I can help. How much is that free?

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Speaker 1: What's up with that your that's already made? You just

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Speaker 1: tow that around. It's prove a concept, all right? Uh

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Speaker 1: hi part of me. I'm back. Um. Do you have

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Speaker 1: any more of this air? Yeah? Did you like it? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Actually I want a lot of it and I need

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Speaker 1: it now. All right. I'm talking eight, ten, twelve, as

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Speaker 1: many as you got got it, guys. It's gonna cost

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Speaker 1: you though money. Yeah, of course I brought ten dollars cash. Oh, ship,

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Speaker 1: that's enough for ten at the previous price. Yeah. I'm

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Speaker 1: trying to get in on your business. But I'm still

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Speaker 1: standing here. That's fine. Yeah, we'll do it all right, Thanks,

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Speaker 1: we gotta deal there you are, Thank you, And you

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Speaker 1: have a bag or anything it costs you. Yeah, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna bring your own cloth bag. No, shoot, I was

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Speaker 1: I was just driving by. I'm here. Why don't we

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Speaker 1: just take a piece of this year? Here you go.

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Speaker 1: You can put all that hurts say, come on and

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Speaker 1: uh yeah, I see. Hey, Roger says, our next appointments

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Speaker 1: with a guy who's selling air. Is that possible? He's

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Speaker 1: on the books. I mean, I make the schedule and

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Speaker 1: you just take a minute. I'm going to be open

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Speaker 1: as angel investors to any opportunity. But Air. Well, I

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Speaker 1: don't think it's just air. I can't chick can't be air.

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Speaker 1: It can't just all right, let's call him in, Tina. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: can you bring in the next guy? Why can't he

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Speaker 1: bring him in? Well, I'm sitting in the office, busy. Well,

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Speaker 1: you're the front of the you're running our schedule for us.

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Speaker 1: We know he's scheduling. I'm email. He's a senior vice president, Tina.

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Speaker 1: You're just that's what's having that work? Yes, that's insane.

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Speaker 1: It's horrible because I'm busy. There's another guy on his

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Speaker 1: feet on? Can you get two more clues? That just

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Speaker 1: insanem to me. We don't have any work, the oil,

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Speaker 1: the bar, whatever's creamy. Then Baileys, please Bailey's. It's just

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Speaker 1: I know. Why can't you see them into the door? Exactly?

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Speaker 1: My glasses on, I have my ankle braces off. How'm

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Speaker 1: you've been supposed to get to the door exactly that

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Speaker 1: the ankles will roll over? Hey, thanks for having me,

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Speaker 1: Thanks for having me. Look you know, I'm How did

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Speaker 1: you get past Tina with forest and vigor? Beautiful? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Names Jim, Jim mackerel. You might have heard of me

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Speaker 1: from mackel dot com. Yeah, we've got your schedule. That's right.

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Speaker 1: You've got some air to show us, Is that right?

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Speaker 1: Is that right? Yes? And I get it from the source.

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Speaker 1: Now come here, come here, bring your face and bring

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Speaker 1: both your face. I'm gonna unscrew these Mason jars. I

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Speaker 1: ain't to get a nice big whiff of this pure

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Speaker 1: pure air. Now I get it from the source. Here

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Speaker 1: we go and smelling in. That's enough, that's enough. Give

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Speaker 1: it a couple of moments. Ex hell, bro, bro, I

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Speaker 1: think we sold that dude our fart jars. Huh huh,

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Speaker 1: I think we sold that dude our fart jars. What's up? Man?

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Speaker 1: Would you say? Remember farting in those all those jars?

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Speaker 1: I think that's what accidentally sold that dude. That air

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Speaker 1: that smells disgusting? What is that? It smells horrible? That's

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Speaker 1: it's your brain being optimized. Actually how pure air smells?

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Speaker 1: So how do we market? You know? I just take

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Speaker 1: one more with She's I really just want to make

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Speaker 1: sure I'm not crazy. Okay, I really don't like all right,

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Speaker 1: here we go and take it going. It's like boiled

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Speaker 1: and that's good. There. You're the kinkiest John I've ever had.

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Speaker 1: Do you want me to fired in your face? Well?

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Speaker 1: I mean I don't want, yes, not close enough to

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Speaker 1: anything get in my eyes? What do you think I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna spray you like a cat? I don't know. I

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Speaker 1: just you know the library is gonna be closing. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna need you do this quietly back here. I rented

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Speaker 1: the room, don't worry. Yes, you're a professional. I can't

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Speaker 1: black out the window, so I got to do it

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Speaker 1: in the corner. He can go ahead. I'm gonna get

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Speaker 1: at my knees. Shouldn't have had that. It's many fruit.

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Speaker 1: It's really messing up. Alright, it's alright, farmer's market. I'm

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Speaker 1: not doing great. Hold on, I'm just guys in some pain.

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Speaker 1: I thought I was at the farmer's market. I used

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Speaker 1: to be at the farmer's market, legs and gentlemen, and

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Speaker 1: now I'm at the library and old habits. Die shut

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Speaker 1: up and tell us about the secret library. For the

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Speaker 1: next thirty seconds, it's grabbed someone kissing. And that's scene

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Speaker 1: number one. See two comes from Toyevo. That's t O

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Speaker 1: I v O. Loved this name, and he's another Patreon

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Speaker 1: v I P who wrote what up Comedy Geniuses? Yes,

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Speaker 1: I also mean James eny Oh, but I'll take it.

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Speaker 1: I'm happy. I'm happy to be able to support your

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Speaker 1: show through Patreon now. Making people laugh and doing it

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Speaker 1: so well week after week is priceless work in these

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Speaker 1: absurd times. So from the bottom of my heart, thank

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Speaker 1: you for doing what you're doing. Anyway, enough for this

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Speaker 1: verbal serve, But I also almost wrote my bike into

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Speaker 1: a ditch while listening to the episode about how the

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Speaker 1: late Dr John came to help an office worker with

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Speaker 1: a fats maschie that speaking of getting off the rails, um,

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Speaker 1: you guys could have killed me or worse. I don't

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Speaker 1: know how that could be worse, but you know, let's

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Speaker 1: find out. Here's my scene. A while back, there was

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Speaker 1: a scene in the show that ended tragically with the

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Speaker 1: TV show host Larry Drake jumping off for bridge. What

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Speaker 1: if he didn't die but landed on something soft on

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Speaker 1: a boat full of incompetent Irish mafia members on their

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Speaker 1: way to performs on some rich guy's yacht. All the

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Speaker 1: best toybo Calio, the fin Goodbye crew world. Anyways, here's

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Speaker 1: what we're gonna Joe, the tang is what the folk?

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Speaker 1: Was that? Then? What was that? You said? The captain? Now,

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Speaker 1: who's who's that? The coppers? Where when we have money

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Speaker 1: to boy food? I can't stink if I don't eat

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Speaker 1: distinct already distinct plenty tchest me? What the fund was

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Speaker 1: that sound? The sound? Does us making money? Hello? Should that?

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Speaker 1: Don't quite? Quick? Quick? Hello? No it's here mate? What

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Speaker 1: there's nobody here for box with the idiots? Don't say that.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what might be child if you say

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Speaker 1: there's no one here that's a person over here here

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Speaker 1: by Harrison. You say, then there's someone here. Then obviously

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Speaker 1: there's three of us in here. We're planning the hoist

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Speaker 1: to take over to your so many details, mate, honesty

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Speaker 1: is the bit policy. No, that's not what is saying.

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Speaker 1: A gang of thieves? Hey, what's holy shit? Welcome a bird? Mates,

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Speaker 1: call me a little topper. It's Liney Drea. Don't call

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Speaker 1: him a little tapper, don't you do? Linyar Tree. I've

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Speaker 1: seen you on TV, doctor Drake. You're a host of

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Speaker 1: some kind on the Telly, are you not? Yeah, that's right.

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Speaker 1: I remembered you as a different guy. What you're doing

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Speaker 1: on the boat? Mate? Who was that before? I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't think it was you. I appreciate it wasn't either.

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Speaker 1: I just don't think it was you. No, I'm not

391
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Speaker 1: going to be irish, you know what I mean? What

392
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Speaker 1: is it gonna be? The man? Are you the man's son?

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Speaker 1: You let her? Drake Sun here's a TV host in America.

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Speaker 1: We watched him in Ireland all the time. Ireland, Ireland

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Speaker 1: the home country home, all right? And Caviar should be

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Speaker 1: coming out next. You know the thing that I love

397
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Speaker 1: about making money is not that it happens all the time,

398
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Speaker 1: but that it happens just to us that too, and

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Speaker 1: it is what makes it special about being us, you know,

400
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Speaker 1: And what makes it special about being rich? I love

401
00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:35,840
Speaker 1: being rich. I can't get enough of it. So I have,

402
00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:38,959
Speaker 1: obviously I brought you all here for a very specific reasons.

403
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Speaker 1: To look at the tigers. Look at the tigers. And besides,

404
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:43,359
Speaker 1: do we get to pick one to eat? Or is

405
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:47,919
Speaker 1: it oh this one? Do we get to each one?

406
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:51,000
Speaker 1: Or is it just are very funny? So right here

407
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Speaker 1: I have a plan laid out for us to not

408
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Speaker 1: only be the one percent, but to be the point

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Speaker 1: zero zero one. Could we talk to Chef Adam and

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Speaker 1: see if he could make one of the tigers him

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Speaker 1: do it dinner? Why not? I'm not I have eaten

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Speaker 1: much of the one percent because you are acting like

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Speaker 1: you've never tasted you work for pet Listen, everyone, shut

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Speaker 1: the funk up. Okay, I get my tigers from Harvard Farms. Okay,

415
00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:19,359
Speaker 1: I know exactly where they're sourced, and I eat them

416
00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:21,400
Speaker 1: when I want them. How I like them to get

417
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:22,760
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, I think you're in love with the

418
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:25,399
Speaker 1: tigers on this ship. I love tigers just I love

419
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:27,199
Speaker 1: big Cat. I want to see you order one of

420
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:30,239
Speaker 1: those tigers. But you're guess my goddamn boat. Okay, I

421
00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:38,720
Speaker 1: brought you on here to have this irishman. I'm glad

422
00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:41,960
Speaker 1: that we got all that ironed out of woman. I know.

423
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,000
Speaker 1: I just meant people ironed out. We only go to

424
00:26:44,119 --> 00:26:47,760
Speaker 1: little bit of it. Establish thought. We figured it all out.

425
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:51,840
Speaker 1: And I don't think you're doctor Drake. Alright, fine, I'm not,

426
00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:54,040
Speaker 1: but you know what, I am a man who is

427
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:56,720
Speaker 1: trying to die. So if one of you could please

428
00:26:56,760 --> 00:27:01,240
Speaker 1: do me a favorite me have Sorry, we're not murderers

429
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:02,840
Speaker 1: number one. Number two. If you're going to talk about

430
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:06,159
Speaker 1: depress people, you're talking to the right people. If I

431
00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:08,760
Speaker 1: may mate, they're not murders. But I'll be happy to

432
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:11,360
Speaker 1: do it in thank you. But it's been so long,

433
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:13,760
Speaker 1: pick your po change. It's been a while. I'm time

434
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:17,560
Speaker 1: to come off the wagon. Gun to the Peter. You're

435
00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:19,600
Speaker 1: gonna Can I get a little creative though? Would you

436
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:21,360
Speaker 1: mind if I went right for the foot start there

437
00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:23,199
Speaker 1: with the gun shows? All right, Well, you guys are

438
00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:25,480
Speaker 1: no help. I'm gonna go see what's above. If you

439
00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:27,440
Speaker 1: go upstairs. If you can't go after don't know what

440
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:30,960
Speaker 1: they were here. Don't do a Doctor Drake, whoever you are,

441
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:36,040
Speaker 1: don't tell him you're here. I supposed to be here. Listen, Okay,

442
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:39,280
Speaker 1: if I don't kill you, but what if we are

443
00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:41,800
Speaker 1: a little bit of something? I have a death wish,

444
00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:43,840
Speaker 1: So as long as it ends and me dying, I'll

445
00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:45,840
Speaker 1: do whatever you need me to do. I can't just

446
00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:48,520
Speaker 1: give the man what he wants. I don't understand. They're

447
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:50,359
Speaker 1: going to hear the gun to a gonna be waiting

448
00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:54,400
Speaker 1: for the caviar from them upstairs. Everything everything they got,

449
00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:56,320
Speaker 1: all the money, get you all the money. I want

450
00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:58,400
Speaker 1: to eat. So if you get us all the money

451
00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:00,840
Speaker 1: right then will you help me in my life? Will

452
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:02,679
Speaker 1: absolutely kill you. If you can get all the money,

453
00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:04,960
Speaker 1: what do you want to do? Can you get a

454
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:09,400
Speaker 1: little something neat for glorious? I'm so hungry. Okay, I'll

455
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:18,879
Speaker 1: be right back. Goddamn. Where is the cavea? Is the

456
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:24,040
Speaker 1: speaker going together? The speaker speak? The itinerary said. Dr

457
00:28:24,119 --> 00:28:26,560
Speaker 1: Drake was going to speak to us. Sting rays in

458
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:32,280
Speaker 1: the aquarium. This is cheap. Keeps on eating them. Okay,

459
00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:39,720
Speaker 1: are you the caviar, bitch, I don't know what that means. God,

460
00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:46,880
Speaker 1: it's Drake. That's Drake's my father. I'm Drake. I'm also

461
00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:51,920
Speaker 1: doctor Drake. You're Drake Drake. You listen, ladies and j

462
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:56,840
Speaker 1: Where is the caviar? That's a good question. Maybe it's

463
00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:59,880
Speaker 1: inside all of you? What wait? Wait, wait here are

464
00:28:59,880 --> 00:29:02,280
Speaker 1: my okay, folks, let me start off with a little caviart.

465
00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:06,000
Speaker 1: Thank you, and what you see in my lap for

466
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:11,760
Speaker 1: a little bit money. I can't do that again. Money. No,

467
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:15,760
Speaker 1: my my therapist says, I need to establish boundar. Just

468
00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:18,440
Speaker 1: therapists have money or they got a degree, and you

469
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:20,920
Speaker 1: pay your therapist like a bit, don't you. Okay, I'll

470
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:24,080
Speaker 1: send in your lap for like a baby, Kenny, let's

471
00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:26,760
Speaker 1: go through this. You sat on his lap a second

472
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:29,840
Speaker 1: time when you and I spoke at great length about

473
00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:32,400
Speaker 1: you not doing that and creating some boundaries. It just

474
00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:35,880
Speaker 1: when I'm out on the yacht, I'm pretty much a prisoner,

475
00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:40,560
Speaker 1: and it's this the oller fashion you should have. Let's

476
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:44,240
Speaker 1: go a little deeper. I'm getting paid six figures to

477
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:48,120
Speaker 1: cook maybe three days a year, right, but they're all

478
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:51,479
Speaker 1: really traumatic and I think I have PTSD, right, maybe

479
00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:55,280
Speaker 1: I think you definitely do. Yeah, because they go out,

480
00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:58,560
Speaker 1: they take the odd out for a couple of weeks.

481
00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:02,560
Speaker 1: A couple of weeks killed so many endangered species. Right,

482
00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:04,840
Speaker 1: let's go through the amount of time so we can

483
00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:10,960
Speaker 1: talk this through. I killed a giant pan You killed

484
00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:14,280
Speaker 1: a giant panda. You personally had to kill the pandor

485
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:18,600
Speaker 1: you just cooked it. Killed that. They made me kill it.

486
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:22,920
Speaker 1: How did you kill the giant pan? Okay, don't look

487
00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:25,640
Speaker 1: at me like that. Kiss it and then kill it.

488
00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:29,680
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna kiss kiss it, kiss it, kiss it,

489
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:32,560
Speaker 1: kiss it, a little kiss on it, on top of

490
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:41,880
Speaker 1: its head. Now strangle it. Strang that looks delicious. Daddy,

491
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:45,440
Speaker 1: Can we go to the zoo today? No, honey, I

492
00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:48,320
Speaker 1: can't go to the zoo. Take the kids to the zoo.

493
00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:50,480
Speaker 1: They missed you. You're always on that damn boat. Why

494
00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:55,360
Speaker 1: don't we when we just go to best Buy? Look

495
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:57,360
Speaker 1: at it is? I need to pick up some DVDs. Okay,

496
00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:06,600
Speaker 1: he wants boo. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This isn't me.

497
00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:10,960
Speaker 1: This isn't me. I can get you another drink in yeah,

498
00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:14,880
Speaker 1: let me getting another double double Bailey's. Is that all

499
00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:18,560
Speaker 1: you gott yeah, you know, they get a double braids.

500
00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:29,320
Speaker 1: Sorry it's warm, but you know, for you you drink

501
00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:34,680
Speaker 1: galoo and then Baileys. And he said, I can't get

502
00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:40,200
Speaker 1: up without my ankle braces. How the kids. Sorry, I'm

503
00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:43,600
Speaker 1: I'm trying to build up my strength. I'm going out

504
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:45,360
Speaker 1: out of sea you for the next couple of weeks.

505
00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:48,239
Speaker 1: I know that game. Yeah, you're gonna have a sit

506
00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:51,160
Speaker 1: on laps. I gotta do whatever they say. I'm pretty

507
00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:53,680
Speaker 1: much a prisoner. I used to do those boat tours

508
00:31:53,720 --> 00:32:00,920
Speaker 1: all the time. Yeah. How did you cope tattoos? Tattooed myself? Yeah,

509
00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:06,120
Speaker 1: that's all the face catch again? Yeah yeah, yeah, I

510
00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:09,120
Speaker 1: just want to be buried in Enjoys cemetery, so you

511
00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:11,680
Speaker 1: can't do that. Yeah, ink face? Can I get a

512
00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:14,640
Speaker 1: Scotch down here? Oh? That guy runs one of the

513
00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:19,800
Speaker 1: biggest yacht farms in the world. Hey, sir, can you

514
00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:22,960
Speaker 1: order a milky drink? Yeah? Of course, but say it's

515
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:27,840
Speaker 1: for you. I'm going to be hiding under the Thank. Hey,

516
00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:31,040
Speaker 1: ink face. Can I get a sketch on the white Russian?

517
00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:34,040
Speaker 1: You got it back from my scot who's it four?

518
00:32:35,280 --> 00:32:38,000
Speaker 1: You're looking at me? You doing to drinks. You got

519
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:39,800
Speaker 1: a problem with that? How about if I get four drinks?

520
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:41,640
Speaker 1: Would that be worse for you? Don't you pay for

521
00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:45,400
Speaker 1: a first? All right? Put it on my dad? All right,

522
00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:53,600
Speaker 1: these rich fox tell me about it. What are you

523
00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:56,200
Speaker 1: getting that for her? Getting for her? She came up

524
00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:59,040
Speaker 1: and grabbed my cop out here all right, everybody, now

525
00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:04,400
Speaker 1: that you're all done with your caviare and tiger appetizers, uh,

526
00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:07,320
Speaker 1: let's talk about why I'm here? Yeah, why is this guy?

527
00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:10,520
Speaker 1: Why are you here? You don't look rich, but you

528
00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:12,760
Speaker 1: were on TV. I guess he's a little I'm pretty

529
00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:17,120
Speaker 1: sure show. But were you in a costume the octopus?

530
00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:20,960
Speaker 1: Were you the octopus? And the tiger was actually the

531
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:24,440
Speaker 1: main course? Like if if I got to kill something

532
00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:28,720
Speaker 1: else for the please let me know, yes, look, you

533
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:33,640
Speaker 1: know me, we might want the octopus as the main Yeah.

534
00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:36,880
Speaker 1: Actually I was just thinking that. Why don't you cook

535
00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:39,960
Speaker 1: this man up? Cook this man up? Cook it up, Kenny.

536
00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:44,760
Speaker 1: You could do that, or I could offer you something

537
00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:51,520
Speaker 1: better to eat, like what you like Irish food? Let's

538
00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:55,920
Speaker 1: cook Let yea, that's good, that's good. Yeah. How long

539
00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:58,440
Speaker 1: has he been going for? I don't know, but I'm sorry,

540
00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:03,200
Speaker 1: Like at least seventeen say we have to we have

541
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:05,720
Speaker 1: to go by our original plan and just hope it works. Okay,

542
00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:14,640
Speaker 1: by your nails. When who's going to go plan? I

543
00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:18,759
Speaker 1: don't remember for them to go I'm so hungry, all right,

544
00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:20,920
Speaker 1: focus up the wait for them to go to sleep.

545
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:22,719
Speaker 1: And the last one goes to sleep. That's when we

546
00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:26,440
Speaker 1: come in, Peter. They're on the fetamines. They're higher the mind.

547
00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:30,200
Speaker 1: Long as we're going to never they're wealthy. They don't sleep.

548
00:34:30,239 --> 00:34:35,600
Speaker 1: They're wealthy. Find them. We'll have to slip some meds.

549
00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:39,480
Speaker 1: I've been trying to train that tiger to attack. You've

550
00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:42,480
Speaker 1: been trying to treat it. To train the tiger. How's

551
00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:44,360
Speaker 1: it going? You know how long they take to do that?

552
00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:46,560
Speaker 1: How's that going? By the way, it seemed like it

553
00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:50,560
Speaker 1: was starting to trust me? All right, let's see what

554
00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:54,799
Speaker 1: do you mean? Let's see you have to go up

555
00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:57,160
Speaker 1: here and find a tiger. The tigers up there. She

556
00:34:57,239 --> 00:35:01,320
Speaker 1: just goes over that ruined up I think really taught

557
00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:05,560
Speaker 1: him to trust people. I love that animal. That's not

558
00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:08,080
Speaker 1: gonna help us at all. Then, I don't even know what. Look,

559
00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:10,680
Speaker 1: my gott a rush water house, some money, all right,

560
00:35:10,719 --> 00:35:13,719
Speaker 1: here's an idea, Glary, you jump overboard, right, and we

561
00:35:13,719 --> 00:35:21,919
Speaker 1: were overboard going over here because then for fox sake,

562
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:24,959
Speaker 1: So then that training the tiger, they'll save you. They'll

563
00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:27,520
Speaker 1: bring you on bard, you'll say you fell off some

564
00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:30,040
Speaker 1: other boat. They'll take sympathy on you. And that's how

565
00:35:30,040 --> 00:35:32,240
Speaker 1: you work it in from the inside and the tiger

566
00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:33,879
Speaker 1: your train. You can tell you to go and talk

567
00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:38,600
Speaker 1: to people. Do what I talk to people? Which tiger

568
00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:42,800
Speaker 1: want to talk? It doesn't need you tell it talk

569
00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:44,680
Speaker 1: to people. Just get it to move its mouth in

570
00:35:44,719 --> 00:35:46,879
Speaker 1: the new side of words. He'll talk him. It will

571
00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:54,160
Speaker 1: talk him. Okay, there we go. Heave. Oh my god,

572
00:35:54,200 --> 00:36:00,040
Speaker 1: you got caught up in the propellers. That's got it

573
00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:04,279
Speaker 1: looks like your boat hit another dolphin. That's fine. Is

574
00:36:04,280 --> 00:36:05,960
Speaker 1: there any way we can get some of them? The

575
00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:09,319
Speaker 1: tigers so easily, that's what I wanted. Wasn't easy. It

576
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:15,840
Speaker 1: wasn't easy at all. On my face, I can't, I

577
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:23,520
Speaker 1: can okay, I really am not going to drop it.

578
00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:26,839
Speaker 1: I want to eat this man, drake, not man drake.

579
00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:31,320
Speaker 1: I want to eat this fine, do it well? I

580
00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:34,480
Speaker 1: don't want you raw? Oh so you want to eat

581
00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:41,400
Speaker 1: this Man's enough? Time on my face. Okay, look, I

582
00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:44,400
Speaker 1: I you know, I gotta draw the line somewhere. Okay, No,

583
00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:47,440
Speaker 1: we draw the line because we got the draw the line.

584
00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:53,000
Speaker 1: Oh boy, this guy, she looks delicious. I am, what's

585
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:57,399
Speaker 1: the thing. Kill this guy? I want to kill this man?

586
00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:01,399
Speaker 1: Why not? He's asking for it. I'm asking for it. Look,

587
00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:04,240
Speaker 1: I already can't take my kids to the zoo. Okay,

588
00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:07,839
Speaker 1: what are we talking about? Look, my therapist says, I

589
00:37:07,840 --> 00:37:14,680
Speaker 1: am PTSD. God, look, and I admit I'm well compensated here. Okay,

590
00:37:14,719 --> 00:37:17,319
Speaker 1: you take very good care of me, except when you don't.

591
00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:21,399
Speaker 1: I see a lady's torso in the water. That looks delicious.

592
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:26,160
Speaker 1: What could you do with that? Okay, let's fish her out.

593
00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:31,200
Speaker 1: Let's fish her out. I kinda have all these nets

594
00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:37,279
Speaker 1: around my yacht. It is a torso, okay, looks like

595
00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:41,359
Speaker 1: our auntree tonight is a woman's torso. I can't prepare it.

596
00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:47,000
Speaker 1: How the funk am I gonna prepare it? Okay, I'm

597
00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:50,920
Speaker 1: gonna I'm gonna flombay it. I don't know. So I'm

598
00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:53,080
Speaker 1: looking at you resume. This is for a fantastic seems

599
00:37:53,120 --> 00:37:56,520
Speaker 1: a lot of private cheffing. Yeah, that's nice here and

600
00:37:56,960 --> 00:37:59,680
Speaker 1: under favorite dishes to cook, it seems you scratched out

601
00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:02,320
Speaker 1: a whole to answers. I can't really get to understand

602
00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:05,960
Speaker 1: you know what your favorite dishes? Like I wrote, I

603
00:38:06,239 --> 00:38:08,600
Speaker 1: I filled out the resume when I was a trunk. Okay,

604
00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:10,160
Speaker 1: I we had a lot of Bailey's hit a bottle

605
00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:13,040
Speaker 1: of dailies. I know that. And then I realized that

606
00:38:13,120 --> 00:38:15,920
Speaker 1: some of my answers, you know, you might not understand.

607
00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:17,880
Speaker 1: That's okay, Well, that's why I want to bring you

608
00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:19,239
Speaker 1: in and talk to your face to face. I mean,

609
00:38:19,280 --> 00:38:22,160
Speaker 1: your work record speaks for itself. It's just like the

610
00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:24,640
Speaker 1: answers about you. I I just I don't think that's

611
00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:28,520
Speaker 1: that clear for me at least. Um, So, under do

612
00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:32,600
Speaker 1: you take your kids to the zoo? Pretty standard interview question?

613
00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:39,320
Speaker 1: It Uh, you've scratched that out so much, just the question.

614
00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:41,440
Speaker 1: I just I couldn't believe I was being asked that question,

615
00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:45,279
Speaker 1: like it felt like karmically cruel for that to be

616
00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:47,160
Speaker 1: on the So you just don't like animal and cages.

617
00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:49,640
Speaker 1: I get that. I'm a member of Pete to myself,

618
00:38:49,680 --> 00:38:53,000
Speaker 1: so I definite understand that. Uh, and stand yes, I'm

619
00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:55,520
Speaker 1: going over the questionnaire you have for the for the

620
00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:58,440
Speaker 1: new chef fantastic for the company, and I want you

621
00:38:58,440 --> 00:39:01,080
Speaker 1: to know we've got a lot of submissions through that already. Right,

622
00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:03,239
Speaker 1: But this is a question I was given that you're

623
00:39:03,239 --> 00:39:07,200
Speaker 1: asking of the chefs. Um you have you have three

624
00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:10,359
Speaker 1: question three? The question is you have a problem with

625
00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:13,120
Speaker 1: the zoo. Yes, okay, first of all, it's not really

626
00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:15,160
Speaker 1: a question, but if you there's a question mark at

627
00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:17,319
Speaker 1: the end of it, right, So your voice went up

628
00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:21,480
Speaker 1: at the end. Good, So why would that come up

629
00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:24,600
Speaker 1: for a chef? Well, you're cooking animals, right, but not

630
00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:29,440
Speaker 1: the zoo animals, thank god, but also being outdoors with

631
00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:34,920
Speaker 1: other people with animals around, how does one react? Hey,

632
00:39:35,239 --> 00:39:38,440
Speaker 1: we appreciate your support at Peter, thank you, but I

633
00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:42,440
Speaker 1: haven't got any toe bags yet, right because we were,

634
00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:44,239
Speaker 1: you know, just checking up on all of our high

635
00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:48,040
Speaker 1: level members and it seems that you are hiring a

636
00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:53,200
Speaker 1: lot of cooks to cook meat um restaurant. You run

637
00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:57,960
Speaker 1: several meat centric restaurants, and that's not in line with

638
00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:03,040
Speaker 1: the Peter mission. There's not even vegetarian or vegan options

639
00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:08,840
Speaker 1: at yours. I love animals. They need to be around

640
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:12,240
Speaker 1: for us to catch kill and serve. If animals go away,

641
00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:14,880
Speaker 1: how the hell are we going to eat me? Do

642
00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:18,600
Speaker 1: you understand? I do understand, but I don't think you understand.

643
00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:21,120
Speaker 1: We're are people for the ethical treatment of the animals,

644
00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:24,480
Speaker 1: so they are ethically treated until you murder them. None

645
00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:27,240
Speaker 1: of them are murdered. They choose to pass. They choose

646
00:40:27,239 --> 00:40:31,400
Speaker 1: to pass. Come over here and look at this. Come on,

647
00:40:31,480 --> 00:40:33,319
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take you to our farms. Okay, I'll show

648
00:40:33,360 --> 00:40:36,960
Speaker 1: you how it's done. I'll take the day off. Oh yeah,

649
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:41,279
Speaker 1: what's up? Am I talking? Now? I have to lead this.

650
00:40:41,880 --> 00:40:45,839
Speaker 1: I'm from Peter. I'm here to see the animals willfully die?

651
00:40:46,040 --> 00:40:49,480
Speaker 1: Do you want to see the emperor penguins? And poor penguins?

652
00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:57,920
Speaker 1: They're gonna die if they willing. It's a pig that

653
00:40:58,040 --> 00:41:01,120
Speaker 1: follows us a room. Yeah, we don't know this beautiful?

654
00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:06,520
Speaker 1: Uh you want to see one of those conditions? Look nice.

655
00:41:07,080 --> 00:41:10,680
Speaker 1: I haven't see any cages or anything. There's no enclosures.

656
00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:13,839
Speaker 1: How do you have an emperor penguin here? I don't

657
00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:17,000
Speaker 1: know what they brought it one, and I don't know

658
00:41:17,200 --> 00:41:23,279
Speaker 1: just the guy's word for us super risducers like, hey,

659
00:41:24,239 --> 00:41:27,799
Speaker 1: smell this star? I don't want to just open the jar.

660
00:41:28,440 --> 00:41:31,040
Speaker 1: It's a fart in. I can tell that as a

661
00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:43,600
Speaker 1: fart in that one. Our final scene comes from Zach,

662
00:41:43,719 --> 00:41:47,640
Speaker 1: a proud patron of v I p se suggestion priority,

663
00:41:47,680 --> 00:41:50,720
Speaker 1: of course, who wrote good Morning, Alchemists. My life recently

664
00:41:50,719 --> 00:41:56,160
Speaker 1: has resembled an insanely modeling country song. My father, with

665
00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:59,800
Speaker 1: whom I have an excellent relationship, was diagnosed with stage

666
00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:03,440
Speaker 1: or cancer. My mother is struggling with depression. I have

667
00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:06,319
Speaker 1: been stuck in England for the last five years due

668
00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:09,799
Speaker 1: to contractual obligations. It's a lovely country, but the eight

669
00:42:09,840 --> 00:42:13,319
Speaker 1: month winters with four hours of daylight per day are

670
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:16,640
Speaker 1: beginning to weigh me down. I have five year old

671
00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:19,440
Speaker 1: twin boys, and my wife just left me to be

672
00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:23,879
Speaker 1: with another man alchemy. This is basically the only thing

673
00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:27,080
Speaker 1: that I look forward to. As a single father of

674
00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:30,520
Speaker 1: twins in a country without any family or support, and

675
00:42:30,719 --> 00:42:33,560
Speaker 1: dealing with the pressure of a father and unfaithful wife,

676
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:37,960
Speaker 1: my life is a study of entropy, and that is

677
00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:40,560
Speaker 1: my suggestion. I would love to hear the Alchemists act

678
00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:43,040
Speaker 1: out a scene where a person's life is coming apart

679
00:42:43,080 --> 00:42:46,120
Speaker 1: at the seems in the most ulcheme ely over the

680
00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:48,920
Speaker 1: top way. You guys are the only podcast that I've

681
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:53,439
Speaker 1: ever reviewed and become a Patreon member of. Please keep

682
00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:56,399
Speaker 1: doing what you were doing and being what you are,

683
00:42:56,920 --> 00:42:59,920
Speaker 1: Zach A. High. This is the ministry of a Family

684
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:02,960
Speaker 1: services is okay? Great? I want to give you two kids. Okay,

685
00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:05,920
Speaker 1: just take these two boys there you go, hold on,

686
00:43:06,760 --> 00:43:09,120
Speaker 1: just work. Oh wow, this place is nice. Yeah great,

687
00:43:09,160 --> 00:43:12,520
Speaker 1: so take the take the boys paperwork. Yeah great, they'll

688
00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:18,480
Speaker 1: fill it out. What is your name? H Yes, you

689
00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:22,160
Speaker 1: didn't go through security. You pushed me? Oh okay, great.

690
00:43:22,200 --> 00:43:24,480
Speaker 1: So no, you can't feel that you can't feel the

691
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:27,239
Speaker 1: forms out yet. I just see he pushed me at security.

692
00:43:27,320 --> 00:43:29,759
Speaker 1: I'm the security guard. I'm sorry if that surprises you.

693
00:43:29,800 --> 00:43:31,440
Speaker 1: Because I am a wolf, then you should have been

694
00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:33,040
Speaker 1: able to be pushed. Okay, you should have been able

695
00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:36,320
Speaker 1: to you should have been able to secure. I'm securing now. No,

696
00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:39,479
Speaker 1: you're not okay. Just because you make that noise doesn't

697
00:43:39,480 --> 00:43:42,080
Speaker 1: mean you actually shot me. Ma'm that warning. That was

698
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:45,120
Speaker 1: a warning. Great, take these boys bullets in here. If

699
00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:47,480
Speaker 1: I choose to you the yes, are you mad at this?

700
00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:52,359
Speaker 1: I'm not mad at you. I'm not mad at you. No, No,

701
00:43:53,239 --> 00:43:54,960
Speaker 1: he's bad. I'm not mad at no, not at that

702
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:58,920
Speaker 1: time at you. But you said you said Tom, you're

703
00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:02,080
Speaker 1: a fucker. You did say that. Well, you're named after

704
00:44:02,360 --> 00:44:05,279
Speaker 1: your mom, Tom, Okay, And it just so happens that

705
00:44:05,320 --> 00:44:07,440
Speaker 1: I when i'm I'm mad at your mom, that I

706
00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:09,080
Speaker 1: say your name and I don't mean you you so

707
00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:12,040
Speaker 1: you cannot surrender your children. I'm not surrendering. I'm justess

708
00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:15,719
Speaker 1: and beheld. Okay, layaway? Lay away? Right, y them away?

709
00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:20,839
Speaker 1: Lay them away? Is anyone driving? I am? Yes? Okay,

710
00:44:20,880 --> 00:44:23,520
Speaker 1: they're telling you what the fun? Give me a second?

711
00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:26,520
Speaker 1: Where did my dad go? Our dad go? Where did

712
00:44:26,520 --> 00:44:29,320
Speaker 1: our dad go? Am I going to be in trouble

713
00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:31,440
Speaker 1: for breaking this week? Too? Are going to be in

714
00:44:31,520 --> 00:44:34,040
Speaker 1: great great care? Are either of you hungry or thirst?

715
00:44:34,120 --> 00:44:37,120
Speaker 1: I'm hungry and I broke this and that's okay. I

716
00:44:37,160 --> 00:44:40,400
Speaker 1: just want I just want to say that this is

717
00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:43,480
Speaker 1: all Tom's fault. Is that true? Let's not point anything

718
00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:46,560
Speaker 1: left us because she didn't love him right, and now

719
00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:49,520
Speaker 1: Dad's leaving us because nobody loves him. What the fund

720
00:44:49,280 --> 00:44:52,560
Speaker 1: is to leave my god damn car, just leave my car? Man?

721
00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:54,440
Speaker 1: Come on, I wasn't there for two fucking seconds. You

722
00:44:54,560 --> 00:44:58,000
Speaker 1: parked in three disabled spaces. Yeah, well maybe I am disabled.

723
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:00,440
Speaker 1: Come on, man, don't funk with me. You don't have disabled.

724
00:45:00,600 --> 00:45:02,600
Speaker 1: I don't need a placard, man, Come on, because I

725
00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:04,120
Speaker 1: was in there trying to get a placard. Sure. I

726
00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:07,000
Speaker 1: don't mean to bother you, but you're shipping yourself. God

727
00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:09,840
Speaker 1: damn it. Come on, man, I'm shading myself. You can't

728
00:45:09,880 --> 00:45:12,160
Speaker 1: tell my car. I'm shating myself. You're wearing those clear

729
00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:14,680
Speaker 1: pants because that's all I could find. I'm just running

730
00:45:14,680 --> 00:45:16,879
Speaker 1: out of the goddamn apartment. Please, then we can see

731
00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:19,359
Speaker 1: everything in those pants. Oh you like? Would you see? Man? Huh?

732
00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:22,920
Speaker 1: Fucking burn? Huh? I don't want to see it. Yeah, bullshit,

733
00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:26,040
Speaker 1: you dough man. I'm pissing and ship. I can unhook

734
00:45:26,080 --> 00:45:28,640
Speaker 1: your car if you pay the to fees. How much

735
00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:36,480
Speaker 1: the feesicks? Five hundred dollars. Jesus crushes skin with a second. Hello. Hello, Hi,

736
00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:38,359
Speaker 1: this is Chase Bank, just to let you know you

737
00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:43,920
Speaker 1: have been overdrawn. Okay, good, good good? Someone put money in.

738
00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:48,319
Speaker 1: Is that what you mean the opposite by hello? I'm

739
00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:53,840
Speaker 1: heading that out. Hold on, I just left you there. Fuck,

740
00:45:54,200 --> 00:45:58,400
Speaker 1: I've got five hundred bucks you yeah, okay, can I

741
00:45:58,440 --> 00:46:02,400
Speaker 1: have that? Faven Sellars? Well, the guy's gone. Are you

742
00:46:02,480 --> 00:46:09,840
Speaker 1: still give my powers? Right? Yeah? Oh? Murderer, murderer, she

743
00:46:10,040 --> 00:46:13,759
Speaker 1: saw that. Where's the money? It's not the money going on?

744
00:46:17,480 --> 00:46:19,919
Speaker 1: Where's my kids? Where's my kids? And my kid? Still here? Dad?

745
00:46:20,600 --> 00:46:23,480
Speaker 1: Are my kids still here? Yeah? Have you come to

746
00:46:23,520 --> 00:46:31,439
Speaker 1: your sense? You okayting those children? Okay? Boy? Okay, boys,

747
00:46:33,160 --> 00:46:37,560
Speaker 1: I ship myself. Listen to me. Listen to me, Tom Murder,

748
00:46:37,640 --> 00:46:41,080
Speaker 1: I'm listening. Hold on a second, Tom, Is that your phone?

749
00:46:41,160 --> 00:46:45,520
Speaker 1: I think it is. Hold on hello, don't hello, Oh

750
00:46:46,239 --> 00:46:51,399
Speaker 1: it's me Tom, Tom, it's your mom. Mom. Just hold

751
00:46:51,440 --> 00:46:53,640
Speaker 1: on a second, boy, just say just saying the dumpster,

752
00:46:53,680 --> 00:46:58,160
Speaker 1: say the dumpster. Hey, a piece of sucking shit. Okay.

753
00:46:58,480 --> 00:47:00,040
Speaker 1: You didn't need to do that, No you didn't. But

754
00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:01,960
Speaker 1: you didn't need to go and fund somebody else either. Okay,

755
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:06,520
Speaker 1: So go back to give me a second. What do

756
00:47:06,520 --> 00:47:11,759
Speaker 1: you want? I'm in Morocco and um I cannot for

757
00:47:11,840 --> 00:47:16,040
Speaker 1: the life of me remember our Apple pen? What like

758
00:47:16,080 --> 00:47:20,000
Speaker 1: my Apple password? It's our anniversary. Can you give me

759
00:47:20,040 --> 00:47:24,560
Speaker 1: another clue? Remember this is the Bengal Tiger teene. Oh

760
00:47:24,680 --> 00:47:28,120
Speaker 1: thank you so are you okay, I'm all right, just

761
00:47:30,520 --> 00:47:33,000
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't do that. They said, whatever I

762
00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:37,000
Speaker 1: want to said, yeah, okay, alright, anything we find in

763
00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:39,120
Speaker 1: this dumps here we can keep, right, Yeah, of course, buddy.

764
00:47:39,239 --> 00:47:41,719
Speaker 1: Oh cool, look at this, it's a gun. I look

765
00:47:41,760 --> 00:47:52,960
Speaker 1: at that. You hear that. That's amazing. Three wishes from this?

766
00:47:55,040 --> 00:48:02,840
Speaker 1: Uh no, no, no, it's I have a second, well

767
00:48:03,560 --> 00:48:06,840
Speaker 1: wish for I wish for all of our problems to

768
00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:11,359
Speaker 1: be solved. I was kidding those first two issues. Oh

769
00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:21,279
Speaker 1: my god, maybe I'm gonna suck that bullet. Okay, and

770
00:48:21,560 --> 00:48:24,279
Speaker 1: you cutterage the stomach. One my god. Yeah, I a

771
00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:27,840
Speaker 1: soldering gun here. I used my Jory out of tin cans.

772
00:48:28,120 --> 00:48:30,480
Speaker 1: That's a beautiful Tommy. You're right. It hurts really bad

773
00:48:30,520 --> 00:48:37,280
Speaker 1: that it's top leading killer, my sons, my little boykiller.

774
00:48:38,239 --> 00:48:40,120
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. The trash person, I got take them to

775
00:48:40,120 --> 00:48:46,240
Speaker 1: the trash parts and doctors. Your nick the pointment here waiting.

776
00:48:46,600 --> 00:48:54,480
Speaker 1: I gotta buy your sergeant, you're ready the doctor slea now, okay,

777
00:48:54,520 --> 00:48:58,760
Speaker 1: thank you. I'm sorry. Hello, what seems to the problem.

778
00:48:59,080 --> 00:49:02,360
Speaker 1: I got no foot, then got my foot, I got

779
00:49:02,360 --> 00:49:05,920
Speaker 1: no food to use my leg. It makes me walk

780
00:49:06,080 --> 00:49:09,120
Speaker 1: like a little pig. Well that picked up my spirits.

781
00:49:09,120 --> 00:49:14,760
Speaker 1: Thank you very much. Okay, bye, And our keynote speaker

782
00:49:15,080 --> 00:49:21,520
Speaker 1: for the Trash Doctor Conference is doctor Schnoofer's. That's it.

783
00:49:21,800 --> 00:49:24,640
Speaker 1: That's the whole thing. I love this conference. I love

784
00:49:24,680 --> 00:49:32,040
Speaker 1: this love trash doctors. We got a scarge in our communment.

785
00:49:33,160 --> 00:49:36,320
Speaker 1: We got people with hail fish ues, we got people

786
00:49:36,400 --> 00:49:41,880
Speaker 1: without doctors. And then there's God bless all the trash

787
00:49:41,920 --> 00:49:47,759
Speaker 1: doctors in this room, the good lords word. We're seeing

788
00:49:47,840 --> 00:49:50,319
Speaker 1: things we have seen. Rat your hands if you've seen

789
00:49:50,360 --> 00:49:56,919
Speaker 1: a rat in a place of rat, ain't me ragel hands.

790
00:49:56,920 --> 00:49:59,440
Speaker 1: If you have to put braces like you made yourself

791
00:49:59,480 --> 00:50:04,520
Speaker 1: on something backless kind of person, rise the hands off.

792
00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:06,680
Speaker 1: You have to figure out that about next like you're

793
00:50:06,680 --> 00:50:12,640
Speaker 1: in the Murray cury arself hands. I'm out of hands.

794
00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:16,799
Speaker 1: But I like the way rice a ham if it's

795
00:50:16,840 --> 00:50:25,040
Speaker 1: a confusing filling. So, Dad, what's the plan? Plan is

796
00:50:25,120 --> 00:50:29,120
Speaker 1: right now that you're going to take that scholarship? Okay, Well,

797
00:50:29,239 --> 00:50:31,040
Speaker 1: I don't want to leave you. Hey, hey, you're not

798
00:50:31,120 --> 00:50:33,120
Speaker 1: leaving me. Okay, you going on to school, You're gonna

799
00:50:33,120 --> 00:50:36,080
Speaker 1: get education. I will be there, of course, it will Okay,

800
00:50:36,120 --> 00:50:38,359
Speaker 1: you can always skape me FaceTime. You will be We'll

801
00:50:38,360 --> 00:50:43,279
Speaker 1: be there all the time. Is that your house? Uh,

802
00:50:43,320 --> 00:50:45,439
Speaker 1: it's on fire. I know. We let it on fire

803
00:50:45,440 --> 00:50:52,120
Speaker 1: to stay warm. Okay, thank you, Tom, I'm gonna miss you. Well.

804
00:50:52,160 --> 00:50:55,120
Speaker 1: I just guess I'll stay in the house, the burning house.

805
00:50:55,600 --> 00:50:59,200
Speaker 1: Is there one more of those pain killers? I took

806
00:50:59,200 --> 00:51:01,959
Speaker 1: it for fun. Damn it. I couldn't help over hearing

807
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:04,839
Speaker 1: you don't have a house. Yeah, Look, we don't want

808
00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:07,680
Speaker 1: to hands out? Would you not a handout? Not a

809
00:51:07,719 --> 00:51:11,760
Speaker 1: hands out? Would you be interested in a timeshare? Time share?

810
00:51:12,560 --> 00:51:16,680
Speaker 1: I mean I guess, yeah, what do we gotta do? Well,

811
00:51:17,080 --> 00:51:19,440
Speaker 1: you only have to go to sunny Tahoe once a

812
00:51:19,520 --> 00:51:23,560
Speaker 1: year for at least a week. Yeah, that'd be great Tahoe.

813
00:51:23,600 --> 00:51:27,120
Speaker 1: That's right by your school. Yeah, right there. Well convenience, yes,

814
00:51:27,840 --> 00:51:30,040
Speaker 1: Uh is it a wheelchair accessible? My son is just

815
00:51:30,320 --> 00:51:35,520
Speaker 1: in a wheelchair. It is absolutely partially wheelchair accessible, partially fantastic.

816
00:51:35,520 --> 00:51:37,279
Speaker 1: How much is this gonna call? Probably nothing? It's a

817
00:51:37,280 --> 00:51:40,560
Speaker 1: timeshare I share time. Oh dang it. Sorry, I guess

818
00:51:40,600 --> 00:51:43,560
Speaker 1: I'm just looking at my phone. Tahoe University just fell

819
00:51:43,560 --> 00:51:49,279
Speaker 1: in a sinkhole. Oh my god. No university. This is

820
00:51:49,320 --> 00:51:55,200
Speaker 1: your fault. Was it my fault? My fault? Somehow everything

821
00:51:55,320 --> 00:51:57,320
Speaker 1: is your fault. I thought it was Tom this whole time.

822
00:51:57,800 --> 00:52:01,960
Speaker 1: I was mistaken bing ball. See. So we're looking for

823
00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:07,719
Speaker 1: about ten grand commitment to start with. Oh hi, hi,

824
00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:09,880
Speaker 1: I have a check here for the owner of the

825
00:52:09,880 --> 00:52:12,680
Speaker 1: house for one million dollars. Are you the owner of

826
00:52:12,719 --> 00:52:17,200
Speaker 1: the house? You are? Your name is Steve? Yeah? What's

827
00:52:17,200 --> 00:52:22,960
Speaker 1: your last name? Steve? My heart? That's that's what that's

828
00:52:22,960 --> 00:52:26,319
Speaker 1: not what's on that check? Not at all? Is that

829
00:52:26,360 --> 00:52:29,840
Speaker 1: a Russian name? Steve? To let him be Tom, Let

830
00:52:29,880 --> 00:52:36,840
Speaker 1: him be Well. I guess maybe we could have the

831
00:52:36,880 --> 00:52:39,239
Speaker 1: paperwork from him because someone call nine one one. Looks

832
00:52:39,239 --> 00:52:41,080
Speaker 1: like your father's had a heart. Well, it seems like

833
00:52:41,120 --> 00:52:42,839
Speaker 1: this is probably for the best. I mean, our house

834
00:52:42,920 --> 00:52:44,880
Speaker 1: is burning. But I can take that check for a million.

835
00:52:44,880 --> 00:52:50,120
Speaker 1: I'll call one to hasty. Why am I good? Question?

836
00:52:50,880 --> 00:52:53,960
Speaker 1: What does it look like? Looks at the back of

837
00:52:54,000 --> 00:52:58,920
Speaker 1: a Cadillac? Really nice catilage, right, Steve? Would you like

838
00:52:59,000 --> 00:53:03,839
Speaker 1: more champagne? Yeah? Sure, I guess where my boys? Your

839
00:53:03,840 --> 00:53:07,160
Speaker 1: boys are on earth? What? Steve? Life has been pretty hard,

840
00:53:07,239 --> 00:53:14,080
Speaker 1: hasn't it. It's not hard anymore? Good. I suck your dick.

841
00:53:15,040 --> 00:53:22,399
Speaker 1: Who's this guy? I'm all right? These are Tasmanian devil

842
00:53:22,480 --> 00:53:26,160
Speaker 1: Kebab's Thank you? Can you smile when you bring the

843
00:53:26,200 --> 00:53:33,439
Speaker 1: food out? Does it matter? Bummer? Should I wait somewhere else?

844
00:53:34,200 --> 00:53:36,520
Speaker 1: You don't want a blow job? You don't want the kebabs.

845
00:53:36,840 --> 00:53:39,680
Speaker 1: We're really trying to make this an experience, Steve. Are

846
00:53:39,680 --> 00:53:42,000
Speaker 1: you ready to meet Elvis Presley? You're in the next one? U,

847
00:53:43,200 --> 00:53:48,520
Speaker 1: I mean, the King, A fan of his music. I'll

848
00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:55,719
Speaker 1: let him know, Steve, welcome. I'm god. It seems that

849
00:53:55,800 --> 00:53:59,120
Speaker 1: you've been having a tough time fitting in here. We

850
00:53:59,200 --> 00:54:03,759
Speaker 1: are not meeting your standards. Perhaps, I just this is

851
00:54:03,800 --> 00:54:06,719
Speaker 1: the guy that doesn't like Elvis Dad. Okay, See that

852
00:54:06,719 --> 00:54:11,600
Speaker 1: doesn't fucking make any sense. You don't like the King? Not? No?

853
00:54:12,440 --> 00:54:17,600
Speaker 1: What do you like? Steve? Uh? I like hip hop music? Great?

854
00:54:17,600 --> 00:54:20,640
Speaker 1: We got plenty of rappers here. I've met them. I've

855
00:54:20,719 --> 00:54:24,239
Speaker 1: really enjoyed their time. But I don't know Jesus, I mean,

856
00:54:24,320 --> 00:54:26,839
Speaker 1: I can't figure this guy out. What does he want?

857
00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:30,319
Speaker 1: What do you want? I just want to be with

858
00:54:30,360 --> 00:54:32,680
Speaker 1: my kids. I want to be with my favorite Claire,

859
00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:38,319
Speaker 1: Claire alone. Tom. I think he's gonna come back, got

860
00:54:38,360 --> 00:54:42,680
Speaker 1: a pulse. We're not Christian anymore. We're not Christian anymore.

861
00:54:43,680 --> 00:54:46,040
Speaker 1: We're not okay, we're not Christian. Dad. While you were

862
00:54:46,040 --> 00:54:48,600
Speaker 1: out the in Tarren house burned down and I lost

863
00:54:48,920 --> 00:55:00,000
Speaker 1: a foot. That's fine, you're not Christian, Okay, I'm not Okay.

864
00:55:01,520 --> 00:55:03,880
Speaker 1: What's the plan. The plan is, we're gonna make a

865
00:55:03,920 --> 00:55:06,799
Speaker 1: million dollars. Okay, okay, all right, we're gonna do that.

866
00:55:07,239 --> 00:55:09,400
Speaker 1: We're gonna do that with our own brains. Did I

867
00:55:09,400 --> 00:55:12,080
Speaker 1: have some bad news? That guy was actually just trying

868
00:55:12,120 --> 00:55:15,840
Speaker 1: to serve you divorce papers. It wasn't a million dollars.

869
00:55:15,880 --> 00:55:17,359
Speaker 1: He was trying to get you to say your name.

870
00:55:17,440 --> 00:55:20,080
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Way, So I've still been married this

871
00:55:20,120 --> 00:55:23,800
Speaker 1: whole time, even though we've been separated. It's just divorced

872
00:55:23,800 --> 00:55:25,960
Speaker 1: the whole time. You know what, maybe it was a divorce.

873
00:55:26,040 --> 00:55:27,879
Speaker 1: It was just he were getting served papers for court.

874
00:55:27,960 --> 00:55:29,440
Speaker 1: I don't know what it was for. But you think

875
00:55:29,480 --> 00:55:31,400
Speaker 1: it was for a divorce. I think so, because it

876
00:55:31,440 --> 00:55:34,800
Speaker 1: had to do Damn it, Tom, God, damn it, Tom.

877
00:55:35,320 --> 00:55:37,279
Speaker 1: Just it is your fault. You know. I just don't

878
00:55:37,320 --> 00:55:42,080
Speaker 1: want you to Oh you're alive. My work is done,

879
00:55:42,280 --> 00:55:44,799
Speaker 1: trash doctor. You saved my life. I'm not a real

880
00:55:44,920 --> 00:55:48,520
Speaker 1: doctor now. I worked at the hospital. Real doctor, doctor.

881
00:55:48,520 --> 00:55:50,520
Speaker 1: I want you to hold my kids for a little bit,

882
00:55:51,680 --> 00:55:53,759
Speaker 1: for a little bit. Okay, where are you calling? I'm

883
00:55:53,800 --> 00:55:58,880
Speaker 1: gonna go short a religion score. Thank you, You're welcome, boys.

884
00:55:59,360 --> 00:56:03,000
Speaker 1: I love you? Okay, pardon me? Hey? Is this where

885
00:56:02,600 --> 00:56:06,279
Speaker 1: the House of Steve? Yeah? This is the house. Do

886
00:56:06,320 --> 00:56:08,040
Speaker 1: you know where he is? Because we just left meet

887
00:56:08,080 --> 00:56:10,640
Speaker 1: and we've driven across the country. I'm Steve. You are

888
00:56:11,760 --> 00:56:16,920
Speaker 1: You're Steve? Huh? I really expect something different. Came all

889
00:56:16,960 --> 00:56:19,759
Speaker 1: this way from Kansas. What's your problem? What do you want?

890
00:56:20,160 --> 00:56:23,200
Speaker 1: We wanted to study under your toutle. I'm Steve. This

891
00:56:23,280 --> 00:56:27,000
Speaker 1: can't be Steve. I'm Steve. Can't be Steve. I'm Steve.

892
00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:32,480
Speaker 1: What's up are those levi Jane? Yes? Huh basic, It's

893
00:56:32,520 --> 00:56:35,400
Speaker 1: like an old Navy shirt. Hey, everybody, welcome to the

894
00:56:35,600 --> 00:56:41,319
Speaker 1: God's Convention. Makes up now. Obviously I am Christian God,

895
00:56:41,480 --> 00:56:43,640
Speaker 1: you know me, you love me. But this year we

896
00:56:43,719 --> 00:56:46,799
Speaker 1: have somebody who has been making some waves. Give it

897
00:56:46,880 --> 00:56:48,640
Speaker 1: up for you know him from the House of Steven

898
00:56:48,920 --> 00:56:52,560
Speaker 1: made Steve. Hello, thank you, thank you for having me.

899
00:56:53,840 --> 00:56:58,640
Speaker 1: I guess I'm talking alone. So I'm Steve. I am

900
00:56:58,680 --> 00:57:02,120
Speaker 1: a new guy and very I'm very chill about it,

901
00:57:02,360 --> 00:57:04,040
Speaker 1: happy to be here and thank you to be part

902
00:57:04,080 --> 00:57:07,239
Speaker 1: of the pantheon. But I'll tell you my secret is.

903
00:57:07,400 --> 00:57:10,880
Speaker 1: My secret is being really low key doing the basics

904
00:57:11,040 --> 00:57:14,480
Speaker 1: and just my secret is being low key. No, no,

905
00:57:14,520 --> 00:57:19,360
Speaker 1: not low key lokey. Okay, yeah, I thought you would

906
00:57:19,360 --> 00:57:25,280
Speaker 1: claiming may no, no, I'm trying to every time. I'm chill.

907
00:57:25,360 --> 00:57:28,000
Speaker 1: I'm very chill about that. So I'm not chill. I

908
00:57:28,040 --> 00:57:37,720
Speaker 1: am low key. Yeah again, what's the fourth rule of

909
00:57:37,760 --> 00:57:42,000
Speaker 1: your religion? Fourth rule of my religion? Always rents? Who

910
00:57:42,080 --> 00:57:53,920
Speaker 1: is this game? I'm Steve Claire Claire, no religion, and

911
00:57:53,960 --> 00:57:57,320
Speaker 1: that is our show for it today. That's all. Thank

912
00:57:57,480 --> 00:57:59,960
Speaker 1: all the alchemist who works are very hard. James Handy,

913
00:58:00,360 --> 00:58:02,920
Speaker 1: thank you for being you, oh, thank you, and thanks

914
00:58:03,040 --> 00:58:05,640
Speaker 1: Charlie Eve for writing the review. I love the way

915
00:58:05,720 --> 00:58:08,360
Speaker 1: Kevin laughs on occasion in the background. I always laugh

916
00:58:08,360 --> 00:58:10,760
Speaker 1: out love when I hear him laugh like that smiley face.

917
00:58:11,120 --> 00:58:13,200
Speaker 1: I look forward to these podcasts. There's so much fun.

918
00:58:13,360 --> 00:58:16,760
Speaker 1: Well who's that from? That's from Charlie Eve. Charlie Afraid

919
00:58:16,800 --> 00:58:18,360
Speaker 1: to say what the last name is, because it's gonna

920
00:58:18,360 --> 00:58:20,040
Speaker 1: sound like a set up. No, it's all right, Charlie.

921
00:58:20,160 --> 00:58:22,880
Speaker 1: The hardest thing is not to laugh during these sessions.

922
00:58:22,920 --> 00:58:27,000
Speaker 1: So thank you for at least enjoying my ridiculous losing

923
00:58:27,040 --> 00:58:29,760
Speaker 1: it sound that I guess we'll call laughter. And thank

924
00:58:29,800 --> 00:58:32,160
Speaker 1: you James Heeney for reading that. Continue to write your

925
00:58:32,160 --> 00:58:34,600
Speaker 1: reviews and send to him. Uh, your name here talking

926
00:58:34,640 --> 00:58:36,480
Speaker 1: to this dot com or right him wherever you're listening

927
00:58:36,520 --> 00:58:39,320
Speaker 1: to the podcast? Right, you're right right? Two iTunes or

928
00:58:39,320 --> 00:58:41,560
Speaker 1: what have you? James working? Folks find you three James

929
00:58:41,880 --> 00:58:45,520
Speaker 1: dot com. That's right, Joey Greer at Jimmy Greeber on Instagram.

930
00:58:45,640 --> 00:58:47,640
Speaker 1: Or if you just want to listen to me and

931
00:58:47,680 --> 00:58:50,200
Speaker 1: other people, check out my album good Night Spotify, iTunes,

932
00:58:50,320 --> 00:58:57,960
Speaker 1: Napster Napster Vanessa Raglan check out good Night. Have you

933
00:58:58,000 --> 00:59:00,760
Speaker 1: heard it? I have big fan? Yeah? Really? What's your

934
00:59:00,800 --> 00:59:04,280
Speaker 1: favorite track? The Hesist one? Yeah? Yeah, I love that

935
00:59:04,320 --> 00:59:08,280
Speaker 1: one too. Uh. Chris Alvarado, You're welcome. Thank you so

936
00:59:08,360 --> 00:59:10,280
Speaker 1: much for being here. Folks would love to find you.

937
00:59:10,280 --> 00:59:12,960
Speaker 1: Where might they do that at? Chris Alvarado on Instagram.

938
00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:15,360
Speaker 1: That's really where all the stuff and check out the

939
00:59:15,400 --> 00:59:18,080
Speaker 1: Alchemy This on Instagram of course. Hell yeah. I mean

940
00:59:18,120 --> 00:59:20,400
Speaker 1: you've posted a lot of great stuff. Well and me

941
00:59:20,480 --> 00:59:26,360
Speaker 1: and Danny and he's doing the heavy. Yeah, and please

942
00:59:26,440 --> 00:59:28,960
Speaker 1: keep coming to our Alchemy This lives first Sunday of

943
00:59:29,040 --> 00:59:31,600
Speaker 1: every month, night PM. And just Westet Comedy Theater in general,

944
00:59:32,480 --> 00:59:36,160
Speaker 1: Craig see Kaikowski on Instagram. I don't use it a lot,

945
00:59:36,200 --> 00:59:38,240
Speaker 1: but tag me in pictures that I'm not in and

946
00:59:38,520 --> 00:59:41,720
Speaker 1: get a good night's sleep at least seven or eight hours, amen,

947
00:59:42,120 --> 00:59:44,680
Speaker 1: all right, And our engineer of the Stars, Chr. Doug Baine,

948
00:59:45,960 --> 00:59:49,920
Speaker 1: our post sound design notice, y Fai Albrito. I encourage

949
00:59:49,960 --> 00:59:51,600
Speaker 1: all of you to write and review until everyone you've

950
00:59:51,640 --> 00:59:53,520
Speaker 1: ever met and write to us at your name here

951
00:59:53,880 --> 00:59:56,320
Speaker 1: at alchemy this dot com. I'm your host, Kevin Pollock

952
00:59:56,360 --> 01:00:00,480
Speaker 1: saying thank you so much. We appreciate you. Until next time,

953
01:00:00,520 --> 01:00:00,920
Speaker 1: remember