Speaker 1: By the way, I did something very very very very
Speaker 1: very smart on Father's Day. So you know how it's
Speaker 1: these holidays. People do it on the Jewish holiday, Happy
Speaker 1: New Year, Happy new people don't even know that, like
Speaker 1: have you in some list from years ago. It makes
Speaker 1: you feel good that you're like, wait, that guy like
Speaker 1: I got out a plane in my twenties. Okay, like
Speaker 1: that guy doesn't care, but wishing me a happy New
Speaker 1: Year Russia Shauna or yum kapor or whatever. No, you
Speaker 1: don't wish happy yum Kapor. You do it after because
Speaker 1: that's the fast and that's a rant um or happy
Speaker 1: New Year. But then like there's the ones that are
Speaker 1: like Happy Mother's Day, and you're just like, you know,
Speaker 1: I don't BCC everybody. I don't have like a blast list.
Speaker 1: I don't even how to do that, So I just
Speaker 1: like individually, like like a Hunt and Peck person, just
Speaker 1: say Happy Mother's Day to my good friends. And then
Speaker 1: I was sitting around and my fiance said that, oh no,
Speaker 1: somebody said Happy Mother's Day to me that like wouldn't
Speaker 1: be in my normal happy Mother's Day rotation. And then
Speaker 1: it became Father's Day and Paul got like a Happy
Speaker 1: Father's Day from sort of a semi rando. And then
Speaker 1: I was like, you know what be good to just
Speaker 1: like throw out some happy Father's Days, just two people
Speaker 1: that I'm not even not close with because you never know,
Speaker 1: like just happy father What does it hurt me? Just
Speaker 1: like my jeweler, Happy Father's Day, or like somebody I
Speaker 1: used to work with, Happy Father's Day. Just like just
Speaker 1: someone who I just happened to text in the last
Speaker 1: forty people just look growing through. All right, fine, if
Speaker 1: you have a dog, it's a loophole. Happy Father's Day
Speaker 1: to your dog. Whatever. So I threw out a lot
Speaker 1: of them. And you know what, lately, like I needed
Speaker 1: a favor from someone. I had to ask someone something.
Speaker 1: It was like a former accountant or someone or a
Speaker 1: former jewel That's why I brought up my jeweler. I
Speaker 1: was like, I can ask them. I wish them a
Speaker 1: fucking happy Father's Day. No, not even in my circle.
Speaker 1: So because of that extra like holiday text, you can
Speaker 1: like ask for a favor later or just like you know,
Speaker 1: jump in and like mentioned something. Just like it's like
Speaker 1: why not just throwing the extra text on those days
Speaker 1: Happy fourth or July, Happy Memorial day, Labor Day, get
Speaker 1: groundhog Day, whatever you want to do, it's just it.
Speaker 1: It comes back to you. Let's talk at a camp.
Speaker 1: So I've talked before about the Hampton's and these like
Speaker 1: dynamics that a lot of people don't know. And um,
Speaker 1: many of you are not douchebags who live in the
Speaker 1: Hampton's or these, um you know places that have a
Speaker 1: lot of douche bags in them. I mean everywhere has
Speaker 1: a douche bag ratio, of course in their society. But
Speaker 1: you know, granted, when you you spend time in a
Speaker 1: place that has hundred dollar lobster salad and assholes that
Speaker 1: were hats with private check companies on them, and the
Speaker 1: names of private yachts that they've been on as fucking humble,
Speaker 1: not so humble, brag name drop literally. And this doesn't
Speaker 1: count in different parts of the Hampton's. This counts in
Speaker 1: like Mock five, like Bridge Hampton, Southamptons, wasp Ear so
Speaker 1: it's a little different. I don't know if the Wasps
Speaker 1: send their kids to camp. I don't think so, but
Speaker 1: they're not around either for different reasons. The Jews want
Speaker 1: to just eat all summer and the Wasps want to
Speaker 1: drink all summer, So I don't know where they send
Speaker 1: their kids. Parents are going to drinking camp. I'm not
Speaker 1: sure where they send up the kids. Let me think
Speaker 1: about that. Yeah, maybe more like piecemeal camp. Maybe day
Speaker 1: the Jews, the second fucking Memorial Day hits, they set
Speaker 1: their alarm clock and they start packing. They sell the
Speaker 1: names into the clothes. By the way, I couldn't send
Speaker 1: my kids to camp, just for the anxiety of the
Speaker 1: stuff and the big trunk and then trunk coming home
Speaker 1: and MAYD be like burn it, throw it in the
Speaker 1: goddamn river. Could tend to belong to Rose in the Titanic.
Speaker 1: I don't want to see that thing because I'll have
Speaker 1: an anxiety attack having a packet. Crazy about organization, Um,
Speaker 1: I will be now. I just I'm not a camp person.
Speaker 1: And while I am Jewish, I do go to Catholic
Speaker 1: school for a couple of years. I don't necessarily identify
Speaker 1: by any religion, but culturally more Jewish than Christian. But
Speaker 1: I've experienced both and had parents that are both, and
Speaker 1: I'm a total mutt of religious cultural affiliation. Christmas more
Speaker 1: than hanakkah bagels, more than what's a Christian food? Like
Speaker 1: ham bagels more than ham. I mean, Jews would never
Speaker 1: put catchup on a goddamn hot dog, and I feel
Speaker 1: like the only people that would do that would be Christians.
Speaker 1: So anyway, I digress for the sixteenth time. Everywhere you go,
Speaker 1: the first question that the parents ask you is where
Speaker 1: are your kids a camp? Like, where's your kids? Your
Speaker 1: kid a kid? Where's your kid at camp? It's not
Speaker 1: even are, it's where. And my daughter is not a camp.
Speaker 1: She chose to not go to camp years ago. So
Speaker 1: you get here and it's like a thing. And I
Speaker 1: almost feel self conscious in the other way that my
Speaker 1: daughter is not a camp because she goes to Camp Mommy,
Speaker 1: which is, you know, it's a lot more labor intensive
Speaker 1: Camp Mommy for me, because every day is a new adventure.
Speaker 1: She um, I can't say she's working because it's illegal,
Speaker 1: but she is working for my friend. Um, I won't
Speaker 1: say who is so so she doesn't get arrested. But my
Speaker 1: daughter wanted to work, and I said, you have to
Speaker 1: have some structure. You're not gonna sit around all day.
Speaker 1: And just like she's not really a device person, but
Speaker 1: you know, I gotta she This kid is so great.
Speaker 1: I can't even tell you this. I walked, I walk
Speaker 1: into my kitchen. She's mincing shallots so finely that you
Speaker 1: can't even believe it. I can't. I went to Connory School.
Speaker 1: I don't mince them so fine. It's because she's an artist.
Speaker 1: She's so detailed. She makes penny all of vodka from scratch,
Speaker 1: like with the sauce. Like she's just amazing. But anyway,
Speaker 1: so it's like a fucking renaissance woman. It's raising a
Speaker 1: twelve year old renaissance woman. And if you've ever seen
Speaker 1: my TikTok, like you know, I'm not just saying it
Speaker 1: like she's just a joy. So she's in her own
Speaker 1: renaissance woman's summer camp program. But when you run into people,
Speaker 1: they they look at you, probably like your codependent, which
Speaker 1: is true, or you know, you're too neaty with your
Speaker 1: kid and vice versa, which is probably true that your
Speaker 1: kids not in camp. But I love it, and listen,
Speaker 1: it's annoying, like sometimes you know, a lot of the
Speaker 1: kids are at camp. But she never wanted to go,
Speaker 1: and she said she'd go for one week, but that's
Speaker 1: not how it works. And I really think if she went,
Speaker 1: and she'd want to she'd be like calling me to
Speaker 1: come get her, which I wouldn't but I just I
Speaker 1: don't know. But um, she she can get a little
Speaker 1: lonely sometimes because she doesn't want to go, but she
Speaker 1: wants just like a little bit of a fix of
Speaker 1: having a friend. And I can be really super awkward
Speaker 1: because now is the age twelve. You can't say like nine,
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, Millicent is nine too, like who the
Speaker 1: fox says? Because you are both born in like Year
Speaker 1: of the Giraffe, that you're gonna be friends like in Arla.
Speaker 1: Oh really, Jonathan s fifth? You two, Jonathan s fifth?
Speaker 1: You want also, you guys should be friends. Put the
Speaker 1: funk away from me. I don't want to know, Jonathan.
Speaker 1: I don't want to know. Anyway. My daughter doesn't necessarily
Speaker 1: want to just meet someone because I happened to be
Speaker 1: born the same year as her. So it becomes hard
Speaker 1: and she there's no way to do it at a nightclub.
Speaker 1: You have alcohol, you have music, there's something to say,
Speaker 1: you know. When they're twelve, it's like she's not gonna
Speaker 1: walk up to some I'm like, hey, come here often.
Speaker 1: So it's really hard for them to meet other kids,
Speaker 1: particularly when you're in a place where all the kids
Speaker 1: are at camp um so I. But I ended up
Speaker 1: making her a really nice play date this weekend and
Speaker 1: we had to sleep over, and it was amazing. My
Speaker 1: daughter's like me. She loves people until she look like
Speaker 1: I always know we're not doing a two nights sleep over, Sunshine,
Speaker 1: because I know that little face of your asn't after
Speaker 1: you've been up all night high on life, having the
Speaker 1: best time. In the morning. She's like a man with
Speaker 1: a young Instagram model he met at a goddamn bar
Speaker 1: at four in the morning in the meatpacking district. The morning,
Speaker 1: she's like, Yeah, I gotta go. I gotta go play golf.
Speaker 1: I gotta play. She loves the golf golf clubs by
Speaker 1: the front door. She went to fucking play dates out
Speaker 1: of here. Yo, she wants to go. She it's all
Speaker 1: going good. They come over. We've got the pool, the
Speaker 1: trampoline and the zip line, the activities, the candy camp momy,
Speaker 1: do what you want, go on the floaties, have fun,
Speaker 1: put the dogs on the floaties, Yahoo doing o art activity,
Speaker 1: the whole nine yards. I'll buy you and your friend,
Speaker 1: you know, whatever you guys want. Because my dad is
Speaker 1: not spoiling, so lovely, but you never asked for anything.
Speaker 1: She bus three pieces of candy in the guy damned
Speaker 1: the store and everything's going good in the air. What
Speaker 1: do you guys want your pizza? Yeah hoo hoo. Girl,
Speaker 1: don't do it as not worth that beat it. And
Speaker 1: then she's sleeping. And then I built this whole basement
Speaker 1: so I could do this podcast and do my my
Speaker 1: um my h sent. And she gets to come down
Speaker 1: here and it's got like a separate entrance, so she
Speaker 1: feels like she has her own apartment. They've got their
Speaker 1: own bathroom, their own thing. And then miss pac Man,
Speaker 1: so live your life. Oh and it's they're whooping it up.
Speaker 1: Make up that couch, sleep, go ahead, Yes, it's amazing.
Speaker 1: It's got a fridge down here, candy popcorn machine. You
Speaker 1: go girl. Next morning, nine o'clock. I look at her.
Speaker 1: She looks like she just had a one night stand,
Speaker 1: scarrow running down her face, exhausted friends still here two
Speaker 1: hours later, she I know that look if there's a
Speaker 1: little bubble above her head, it's like, get the fuck. Okay,
Speaker 1: we had a fun and I'm not get the funk out.
Speaker 1: I'll call you for a booty call next summer. You
Speaker 1: gotta get into your points. Can I just tell you
Speaker 1: you've got to get into these points. We all have points.
Speaker 1: We I have purchased things, I have then sold them.
Speaker 1: I have still had the points to show for it. Points.
Speaker 1: I think of the second largest currency unused points. You
Speaker 1: have to understand I invested in this company point dot me.
Speaker 1: I was up in the middle of the night, obsessed
Speaker 1: with using the millions of points that I have. And
Speaker 1: you know there are like different transfer rates and two
Speaker 1: to one, and on this day there's a special and
Speaker 1: on these days as a hotel. And some people are savants. Okay,
Speaker 1: the points guys, and some My best friend is as good,
Speaker 1: maybe better than the points by she just understands that.
Speaker 1: She understands the difference between that the Mary. If you
Speaker 1: have marry at Bombvoydmans, you got to use those up first.
Speaker 1: Those go first. Marry at points first. Chase card you
Speaker 1: buy um all hotels, all eating, all things like that.
Speaker 1: You book through Chase, luxury goods and electronics. I don't
Speaker 1: know why, but I think it's about like ensuring them
Speaker 1: or like replacing them. I don't understand. That's amex. Okay,
Speaker 1: you book all. You only use m X points for
Speaker 1: air travel. You only use Chase points for the hotel travel.
Speaker 1: But you do the marry up before the Chase points
Speaker 1: because you want to use those up and some are expiring.
Speaker 1: And it's a fucking and that has nothing to do
Speaker 1: with the miles. And it's Delta and sometimes there's some
Speaker 1: finagle where if like, if you do it through AMEX,
Speaker 1: it's more, but if you do it through Delta, it's
Speaker 1: fewer points. So you got a finagle and you transfer
Speaker 1: your points from AMEX over to Delta first and then
Speaker 1: book it through Delta. I'm not kidding you. It's crazy.
Speaker 1: Point up me like gets you through the whole thing.
Speaker 1: It's the way to use your points. You've got to
Speaker 1: get into this. Okay, the smarter I get, the dumber
Speaker 1: I become. Okay, you most people don't speak this language.
Speaker 1: Everybody speaks every language. Right, I know the best restaurant. Oh,
Speaker 1: I know the best hotel. I got the best massage. Guy,
Speaker 1: I got a diamond. Guy. You need to watch guy.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, they're on sale here. No, you've got
Speaker 1: to go to this website. Oh god, it gives you
Speaker 1: a code. Everybody knows fucking everything about everything. People know
Speaker 1: more about god damn cannabis and CBD than they do
Speaker 1: about points. Nobody knows how to use them. Every single
Speaker 1: person I know is fucking confused and they just don't
Speaker 1: deal with it. Guess what they'd be like not using
Speaker 1: all your gift cards. I want to guy pointless. Okay,
Speaker 1: I want on a tombstone. She died with no points
Speaker 1: or credits. Okay, get on point dot me. You will
Speaker 1: not regret it. It's the best thing to do. You
Speaker 1: gotta do it.