1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:13,440 Speaker 1: M K. Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls podcast, 2 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:18,880 Speaker 1: a weekly conversation about mental health, personal development, and all 3 00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:21,560 Speaker 1: the small decisions we can make to become the best 4 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:25,919 Speaker 1: possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy hard 5 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:30,720 Speaker 1: and Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more 6 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:34,800 Speaker 1: information or to find a therapist in your area, visit 7 00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:38,920 Speaker 1: our website at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. While 8 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:42,600 Speaker 1: I hope you love listening to and learning from the podcast, 9 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:46,240 Speaker 1: it is not meant to be a substitute for relationship 10 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:57,560 Speaker 1: with a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so 11 00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:00,240 Speaker 1: much for joining me for session one twelve of the 12 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:04,120 Speaker 1: Therapy for Black Girl's podcasts. Remember that list of things 13 00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:06,120 Speaker 1: you set out to do at the end of last year. 14 00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:10,280 Speaker 1: How's it looking so far. We've hit the halfway point 15 00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:12,440 Speaker 1: in the year, and I always think that's a really 16 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:15,160 Speaker 1: good time to do some reflecting on what you set 17 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:18,040 Speaker 1: out to do and how it's going. So let's chat 18 00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:21,319 Speaker 1: about that a bit. But first let's show some love 19 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:26,959 Speaker 1: to our sponsor. 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You can find 36 00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:24,919 Speaker 1: the Natural Licious products and over a twelve hundred Sally 37 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:28,840 Speaker 1: stores nationwide, or you can buy them online at Sally 38 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:33,400 Speaker 1: Beauty dot com. Use our exclusive promo code five five 39 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:37,800 Speaker 1: five five five five at checkout to save ten percent 40 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:41,120 Speaker 1: off your purchase. Now, let's get back to our episode. 41 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:45,919 Speaker 1: In such An eighty eight of the podcast, we talked 42 00:02:45,919 --> 00:02:48,400 Speaker 1: all about how to set goals and the different things 43 00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:51,880 Speaker 1: you'd want in place to increase your chances of being successful. 44 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:54,200 Speaker 1: So if you haven't listened to that one, you may 45 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:57,080 Speaker 1: want to check that one out afterwards. I'll definitely link 46 00:02:57,080 --> 00:02:59,919 Speaker 1: it in the show notes. But today I wanted to 47 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:01,919 Speaker 1: check in with you to see how things have been 48 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:05,280 Speaker 1: going with your progress. So if you don't feel like 49 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:08,400 Speaker 1: you're making much progress, here are a few things I 50 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:12,400 Speaker 1: want you to consider. Number one, did you actually make 51 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:14,959 Speaker 1: a plan with goals or did you just list a 52 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,800 Speaker 1: bunch of stuff on paper with no real plan of 53 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:20,880 Speaker 1: how you were going to achieve it. If your goals 54 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:28,160 Speaker 1: weren't smart, that's specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time bound, 55 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:31,160 Speaker 1: then look at your list again and see if you 56 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:36,000 Speaker 1: can get clearer. Number two, what has been getting in 57 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:38,840 Speaker 1: the way of your progress? Y'all know I love a 58 00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:42,680 Speaker 1: good journaling activity, So pull out your journal and think 59 00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:45,480 Speaker 1: about what's been getting in your way and what may 60 00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:50,400 Speaker 1: need to be done to remove those barriers. Number three, 61 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:55,400 Speaker 1: what was your mindset when you made the goals? Perhaps 62 00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:57,920 Speaker 1: you're not making progress on the goals you said last 63 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,840 Speaker 1: year because you made them when you are afraid, in 64 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:04,560 Speaker 1: doubting yourself, and they simply no longer fit now that 65 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:08,480 Speaker 1: you're feeling more confident and self assured. So lean into 66 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:10,960 Speaker 1: this new feeling and see what kinds of goals feel 67 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:16,680 Speaker 1: more appropriate for you right now. Number four, have you 68 00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:19,800 Speaker 1: really not made progress or is it just not the 69 00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:22,680 Speaker 1: splashy kind of progress that would look great on an 70 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:27,080 Speaker 1: Instagram post? Because those two things are not the same. Now. 71 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:29,800 Speaker 1: Don't get me wrong, I'm all for celebrating yourself and 72 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:33,039 Speaker 1: letting the world know how great you are, but not 73 00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:35,919 Speaker 1: all progress looks like that, and it doesn't make it 74 00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:40,120 Speaker 1: any better or worse. It's just different. Don't lose focus 75 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:43,440 Speaker 1: on your goals or minimize them just because they don't 76 00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:49,920 Speaker 1: feel iggy worthy. And number five, try really really hard 77 00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:53,440 Speaker 1: not to beat yourself up for not making as much 78 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:57,000 Speaker 1: progress as you would have liked. You're human, just like 79 00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:59,800 Speaker 1: the rest of us, and sometimes we're on and so 80 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:03,520 Speaker 1: times not so much. And watch the language and the 81 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:07,359 Speaker 1: story that you're telling yourself about what's been happening. You 82 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:09,880 Speaker 1: may have fallen short of making as much progress as 83 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:14,200 Speaker 1: you wanted, but you are not a failure. It's okay 84 00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:18,400 Speaker 1: to extend yourself some grace and challenge yourself to do 85 00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:23,000 Speaker 1: better in the future. Now, if you have been making 86 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:26,000 Speaker 1: progress on your goals, here are a few things that 87 00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:31,120 Speaker 1: I want you to consider. Number one, have you been 88 00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:35,320 Speaker 1: celebrating yourself? Don't get caught in practicing what I call 89 00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:39,520 Speaker 1: celebration procrastination, where you're always waiting to meet the next 90 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:42,640 Speaker 1: goal before you celebrate the current one. It doesn't have 91 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:45,559 Speaker 1: to be a huge celebration, but make sure you're taking 92 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:47,760 Speaker 1: time to pet yourself on the back for all of 93 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:53,520 Speaker 1: your hard work. Number two, stay engaged and reflective about 94 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:56,400 Speaker 1: the process. What kinds of things have helped you to 95 00:05:56,480 --> 00:06:00,359 Speaker 1: make progress? Are those things able to be repeated? And 96 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:02,840 Speaker 1: have you developed a good system for this to happen. 97 00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:07,880 Speaker 1: Number three, do you need to add something else to 98 00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:11,000 Speaker 1: the list? Perhaps you played it safe when you set 99 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:13,839 Speaker 1: your goals for the year, and now you realize you 100 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:17,080 Speaker 1: may need a little extra push. Go ahead and at 101 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:19,679 Speaker 1: a stretch goals of the list and see how close 102 00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:24,680 Speaker 1: you come to reaching that one. At number four, be 103 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:27,560 Speaker 1: sure to think the people who've been helping you along 104 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:30,279 Speaker 1: and check in to see if they need any help 105 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:33,720 Speaker 1: with their goals for the year. It's always more fun 106 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:36,200 Speaker 1: when the whole team is winning, So make sure you're 107 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:41,520 Speaker 1: celebrating yourself and supporting your crew as well. So draw 108 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:44,240 Speaker 1: me a line on social media or share a video 109 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,840 Speaker 1: with me and your ancest stories and tell me what's 110 00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:49,880 Speaker 1: going on with your twenty nineteen goals. Are you making 111 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:53,440 Speaker 1: progress or are you feeling stuck somewhere? Let's chat about it. 112 00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:56,839 Speaker 1: Be sure to use the hashtag t b G in 113 00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:59,919 Speaker 1: session so that we can follow along with the conversation. 114 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:03,159 Speaker 1: And don't forget to show some love for our sponsor 115 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:07,400 Speaker 1: for this episode, natural Issious. It's the world's first vegan, 116 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:10,840 Speaker 1: high performance hair care line that delivers the results of 117 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:14,640 Speaker 1: twelve products in only three You can find the products 118 00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:18,120 Speaker 1: and over twelve hundred Sally stores nationwide, and you can 119 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:21,400 Speaker 1: also get ten percent off your purchase online by going 120 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:24,920 Speaker 1: to Sally Beauty dot com and using the promo code 121 00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:29,800 Speaker 1: five five five five five five at checkout. If you're 122 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:32,800 Speaker 1: looking for a therapist in your area, don't forget to 123 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:36,040 Speaker 1: check out our therapist directory at Therapy for Black Girls 124 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:39,800 Speaker 1: dot com slash directory. And if you want to continue 125 00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:42,680 Speaker 1: this conversation with other sisters who listen to the podcast, 126 00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:45,360 Speaker 1: come on over and join us in the Thrive Tribe, 127 00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:48,600 Speaker 1: which is our Facebook group for the podcast. You can 128 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:51,160 Speaker 1: request a joint at Therapy for Black Girls dot com 129 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:54,280 Speaker 1: slash Tribe and be sure to answer the three questions 130 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:57,880 Speaker 1: that are asked to gain injury. Don't forget to visit 131 00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:00,800 Speaker 1: our online store at Therapy for Black Girls dot com 132 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:04,400 Speaker 1: slash Shop, where you can find our got It Affirmation track, 133 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:08,120 Speaker 1: break up journal in your favorite Therapy for Black Girls 134 00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:12,400 Speaker 1: t shirts, sweatshirts and mugs. Thank y'all so much for 135 00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:15,360 Speaker 1: joining me again this week. I look forward to continue 136 00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:18,720 Speaker 1: in this conversation with you all real soon. Take it 137 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:33,839 Speaker 1: care what