Speaker 1: Get your hands together and we're going to start to
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Speaker 3: You're after Party Podcast. Hi y'all, how y'all doing. Here's
Speaker 3: something that we study every five or six years. It's
Speaker 3: on cycle with our show. It's the concept of renewing
Speaker 3: wedding licenses.
Speaker 1: Should be mandatory.
Speaker 3: It should be managed just like a driver's license.
Speaker 1: Right absolutely. I mean, you know, one, we already know
Speaker 1: that the divorce rate is really really high. But I
Speaker 1: think that people change over time, and you know, committing
Speaker 1: to someone when you're twenty five versus thirty five, they're
Speaker 1: probably totally different things. Do you still want to be
Speaker 1: in it? Or should you just be allowed at h
Speaker 1: no strue.
Speaker 3: Here's the question, what's the advantage of renewing license versus
Speaker 3: just divorce?
Speaker 1: Well, I think it's a less messy solution to the divorce.
Speaker 1: Like if in ten years you can say, you know what,
Speaker 1: both of us are not on the same page as
Speaker 1: far as doing this, we're done.
Speaker 4: So it's like a contract. Yeah, it's like a three
Speaker 4: year contract and then okay, we want to.
Speaker 5: Renew this, But then you have to figure out I
Speaker 5: guess all the other things, like do we split things evenly?
Speaker 5: Do we like, like, if you have kids, like, you
Speaker 5: have a contract, you've got to.
Speaker 3: Feel so if you don't rene your contract, it's a
Speaker 3: divorce basically. Yeah, yeah, okay, unless unless you're not married
Speaker 3: anymore because you're you're expired.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: I don't know how it's gonna change that, the financial
Speaker 3: the financial separation stuff. But here's here's a great idea
Speaker 3: that SEMs from this and I like this, Gandhi. Gandhi
Speaker 3: brought it up to us today. It makes you sit
Speaker 3: down and have the conversation. Yeah. Right, if you're just
Speaker 3: in a marriage ten, twenty, thirty years, whatever, how many
Speaker 3: times you actually feel prompted to sit down and have
Speaker 3: to discuss if it's working or not. Yeah, this is
Speaker 3: a case where you both have to sit down and
Speaker 3: talk about it.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 3: We make it so much easier than it probably is, sure.
Speaker 1: You know, I think so. I just I mean, how
Speaker 1: many people do we know? We know so many people
Speaker 1: who are in marriages that they cannot stand and they
Speaker 1: have all these reasons why they can't just leave that person,
Speaker 1: and it's really sad. And I'm like, but what if
Speaker 1: the contract is expired and everything was okay, and you
Speaker 1: could move on about, you know, your life in the
Speaker 1: way that you want to.
Speaker 3: That's okay.
Speaker 5: I think Sheldon would pick me again, see, and then
Speaker 5: you wouldn't have to worry about it. And I told,
Speaker 5: because I always tell him how bored he'd be without me.
Speaker 5: He just keep saying a lot of less drama, that's
Speaker 5: for sure, you know, that's the answer I get.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but at the end of the day, I mean,
Speaker 3: he would probably miss some of that drama, highly entertained, right,
Speaker 3: So I keep telling him, but yeah, okay. Let's let's
Speaker 3: say you're sitting down with the person you're married to
Speaker 3: and you have you have thirty days left, so you
Speaker 3: have to either you know, march down or go online
Speaker 3: and redo it or whatever. Yeah, you have to get
Speaker 3: it redone. You have to physically maybe pay a fee
Speaker 3: and you know, RELICNSE and up your license. And you're like,
Speaker 3: oh no, no, I can't do it. I think we're done.
Speaker 3: You know. Then the conversation starts, well why are you done?
Speaker 3: And you actually talk about things that you wouldn't talk
Speaker 3: about normally.
Speaker 1: Right, I mean, I think when you commit to someone forever,
Speaker 1: that's a big, big word in a very long time.
Speaker 1: But you might not be thinking about all the things
Speaker 1: that could change down the road. And I think that
Speaker 1: you should just be able to reassess, like, hey, are
Speaker 1: you still happy? How many people would just coast forever
Speaker 1: and not actually be happy?
Speaker 3: What about you? Nate forces you to have that conversation,
Speaker 3: that's for sure.
Speaker 4: And I'll say this, I think for anybody that's been
Speaker 4: through a divorce, you probably know before that conversation even
Speaker 4: happens that it's not going to continue. So yeah, I
Speaker 4: firmly agree with this. Gandhi. I think this is a
Speaker 4: great idea and too bad it's not implemented. I know that,
Speaker 4: fellow divorces.
Speaker 3: Am I I guess you are? Yeah, yes you are.
Speaker 3: You're a gay divorcee.
Speaker 4: You know. I think that you just know that it's
Speaker 4: not going to continue. And if that conversation was forced
Speaker 4: to happen because the contract was expiring, you would be
Speaker 4: able to admit, Okay, let's this is not working for me,
Speaker 4: and then you either come to terms where you can
Speaker 4: renew that contract or.
Speaker 1: You just end it right and with divorces, yeah, when
Speaker 1: you renew a contract, you have to think about what
Speaker 1: you're renewing, and it's it's a good thing for everyone.
Speaker 3: Go hey, gnhi. Sorry.
Speaker 1: Well, with divorces, one person can contest it. But I
Speaker 1: feel like with this marriage license renewal, if one person
Speaker 1: doesn't sign, it's not getting renewed. That's it. You can't
Speaker 1: fight back and forth about it. You both didn't sign,
Speaker 1: so it's not happening, that's it. Whereas you know, we've
Speaker 1: seen so many divorces where one person wants it and
Speaker 1: the other person's contesting it, and it's like, dude or woman,
Speaker 1: why are you doing this?
Speaker 3: Let it go? Yeah, why would you want to contest
Speaker 3: with someone?
Speaker 4: You know?
Speaker 3: I'll change their mind, I'll make them like me again. Yet,
Speaker 3: exactly is this going on in any country in the world,
Speaker 3: any other place I want if they do have marriage
Speaker 3: licenses that expire.
Speaker 4: I don't know much about prenups. Probably contributed to my
Speaker 4: problem is that something you can put any prenup elvis
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 3: You can put whatever you want. You can put whatever
Speaker 3: you want into a prenup, but different states have have
Speaker 3: different levels and lines that what is what they say
Speaker 3: is fair and not fair. Does that make sense? So
Speaker 3: you could say, well, if we decided to divorce, you
Speaker 3: got to pay me two million dollars. Well, you know,
Speaker 3: the judge at that point will go, well, this is
Speaker 3: this is not going to stand up. No, you know.
Speaker 1: Oh so then what's the point of it.
Speaker 3: The well no, but well okay, Well I can speak
Speaker 3: for a friend. Different states have different numbers that they have.
Speaker 3: It's it's it's it's all kind of formulated where you know,
Speaker 3: if you've been together this many years and you make
Speaker 3: this much money, there's there's there's math involved, and that
Speaker 3: this would be fair. This would be a fair threshold
Speaker 3: for them to be paid out. Okay, if the wedding
Speaker 3: comes to the marriage comes to a close, you could
Speaker 3: actually put a number much lower or number much higher,
Speaker 3: but those would be those would be easily contested by
Speaker 3: the judges in that state. Does it make sense? Yes, okay.
Speaker 4: And it's different from state to state. We just spoke
Speaker 4: to somebody it is state in the Midwest, and I
Speaker 4: was blown away by what their law was versus the
Speaker 4: law here.
Speaker 5: Interesting, right, like, we have a no fault state, right,
Speaker 5: Jersey is a no fault state. I had a friend
Speaker 5: who was not at fault for the divorce. They got
Speaker 5: divorced because he cheated on her and it was really
Speaker 5: really bad, but she made more money, so she had
Speaker 5: to pay him.
Speaker 3: I'm like, dude, he cheating on you and you had
Speaker 3: to pay him.
Speaker 5: That's how it works.
Speaker 3: Another kind of sad thing about the no fault state
Speaker 3: is you can just get a phone call from an
Speaker 3: attorney one day saying, hey, they want to divorce you really,
Speaker 3: and there's there's no contesting it, no, no, they can
Speaker 3: go and if you have a prenup, you got to
Speaker 3: pay him no matter what. That's the way that works.
Speaker 1: One of the interesting things about all this that we
Speaker 1: keep talking about is everybody is talking about these numbers
Speaker 1: because marriage is a business contract, isn't it. It is
Speaker 1: a contract because if it's just love, you don't have
Speaker 1: to get anybody else involved. But when there's a contract,
Speaker 1: because of how it works, it needs to be looked at.
Speaker 1: I think from a more businesslike perspective.
Speaker 6: Agree.
Speaker 5: Oh God, that's one who's never getting mad.
Speaker 3: You're going to get married.
Speaker 1: In my opinion, when he yelsy agrees, no, I do agree.
Speaker 6: Because I feel like we always talk about you change
Speaker 6: as a person day by day, so every two years
Speaker 6: there should be a required a required you know, reup
Speaker 6: of the contract, and you must be required to take
Speaker 6: like an assessment test of all these questionnaire like did
Speaker 6: you fulfill this? Did you honor that? And then this
Speaker 6: way you get graded on it, and you guys look
Speaker 6: at each other's scores and you're like, then you could
Speaker 6: really say, yeah, it's time to get okay.
Speaker 5: So if this was the case, would you marry Robin
Speaker 5: for two years and then sit down and discuss whether
Speaker 5: to re up?
Speaker 3: I would?
Speaker 6: I would think about it, Okay, No, because marriages forever,
Speaker 6: they always say it's forever. You're putting your you know,
Speaker 6: you're taking these vows, and I don't know that to
Speaker 6: me is too permanent.
Speaker 3: I don't like permanence. I don't know. I don't think
Speaker 3: people getting married anymore think of it as permanence. I
Speaker 3: just don't, you know, no, not not realistically, you know,
Speaker 3: to be wetted forever. I don't think people getting married
Speaker 3: a lot. I'm not saying everyone, but a lot of
Speaker 3: people are like, well, it's gonna work, and if it
Speaker 3: doesn't work, we won't together anymore, we'll get out.
Speaker 1: Of it anymore. It seems like I'm gonna try my best.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'll give my best. Yeah, I'll give it a shot.
Speaker 5: But I think it also depends on how you were
Speaker 5: brought up, and also religious religion plays a big part
Speaker 5: in a lot of people's lives and being married, you know,
Speaker 5: in your church or in your synagogue or you know whatever.
Speaker 5: So I think some people do look at it differently,
Speaker 5: that it's under the eyes of the boy. It's different,
Speaker 5: you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they do. And then the divorce, Yeah, some.
Speaker 5: Of them, some of them don't.
Speaker 3: I know, Daniel, that's exactly what I just said, didn't
Speaker 3: I I did. We're good, We're good. Well, there you go,
Speaker 3: a very happy conversation about divorce.
Speaker 1: Be realistic about what's going on. Like you would never
Speaker 1: sign a work contract forever, so you should just think
Speaker 1: about things because it is a business contract in so
Speaker 1: many ways. Think about it in that context.
Speaker 3: I just don't see the difference between just divorcing versus
Speaker 3: it expires. Well, what are the benefits to just having
Speaker 3: expired and you walk away? There's still a business contract.
Speaker 1: I haven't worked it all out in my head yet.
Speaker 3: Go get that work. Starting a business. I think you
Speaker 3: started a business exactly, So go ahead. If you're listening
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