1
00:00:01,800 --> 00:00:03,600
Speaker 1: Get your hands together and we're going to start to

2
00:00:03,720 --> 00:00:04,880
Speaker 1: party starting pod.

3
00:00:05,080 --> 00:00:15,760
Speaker 2: I'm ready to party, the Elvis Duran After Party.

4
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:22,479
Speaker 3: You're after Party Podcast. Hi y'all, how y'all doing. Here's

5
00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:26,560
Speaker 3: something that we study every five or six years. It's

6
00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:31,480
Speaker 3: on cycle with our show. It's the concept of renewing

7
00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:33,520
Speaker 3: wedding licenses.

8
00:00:34,479 --> 00:00:35,320
Speaker 1: Should be mandatory.

9
00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:37,000
Speaker 3: It should be managed just like a driver's license.

10
00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:40,040
Speaker 1: Right absolutely. I mean, you know, one, we already know

11
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,640
Speaker 1: that the divorce rate is really really high. But I

12
00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:45,919
Speaker 1: think that people change over time, and you know, committing

13
00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:48,400
Speaker 1: to someone when you're twenty five versus thirty five, they're

14
00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:50,600
Speaker 1: probably totally different things. Do you still want to be

15
00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:52,199
Speaker 1: in it? Or should you just be allowed at h

16
00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:53,040
Speaker 1: no strue.

17
00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:57,080
Speaker 3: Here's the question, what's the advantage of renewing license versus

18
00:00:57,120 --> 00:00:57,720
Speaker 3: just divorce?

19
00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:02,520
Speaker 1: Well, I think it's a less messy solution to the divorce.

20
00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:04,240
Speaker 1: Like if in ten years you can say, you know what,

21
00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:06,280
Speaker 1: both of us are not on the same page as

22
00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:07,479
Speaker 1: far as doing this, we're done.

23
00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:09,959
Speaker 4: So it's like a contract. Yeah, it's like a three

24
00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:11,880
Speaker 4: year contract and then okay, we want to.

25
00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:13,800
Speaker 5: Renew this, But then you have to figure out I

26
00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:17,200
Speaker 5: guess all the other things, like do we split things evenly?

27
00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:19,280
Speaker 5: Do we like, like, if you have kids, like, you

28
00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:20,440
Speaker 5: have a contract, you've got to.

29
00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:23,039
Speaker 3: Feel so if you don't rene your contract, it's a

30
00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:29,200
Speaker 3: divorce basically. Yeah, yeah, okay, unless unless you're not married

31
00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:31,200
Speaker 3: anymore because you're you're expired.

32
00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:31,720
Speaker 1: You know.

33
00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:33,880
Speaker 3: I don't know how it's gonna change that, the financial

34
00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:37,800
Speaker 3: the financial separation stuff. But here's here's a great idea

35
00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:40,039
Speaker 3: that SEMs from this and I like this, Gandhi. Gandhi

36
00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:43,479
Speaker 3: brought it up to us today. It makes you sit

37
00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:46,800
Speaker 3: down and have the conversation. Yeah. Right, if you're just

38
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:50,560
Speaker 3: in a marriage ten, twenty, thirty years, whatever, how many

39
00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:53,520
Speaker 3: times you actually feel prompted to sit down and have

40
00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:56,400
Speaker 3: to discuss if it's working or not. Yeah, this is

41
00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:57,960
Speaker 3: a case where you both have to sit down and

42
00:01:58,000 --> 00:01:58,520
Speaker 3: talk about it.

43
00:01:58,640 --> 00:01:58,760
Speaker 2: Right.

44
00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:02,640
Speaker 3: We make it so much easier than it probably is, sure.

45
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,440
Speaker 1: You know, I think so. I just I mean, how

46
00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:07,160
Speaker 1: many people do we know? We know so many people

47
00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:09,680
Speaker 1: who are in marriages that they cannot stand and they

48
00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:12,680
Speaker 1: have all these reasons why they can't just leave that person,

49
00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:15,520
Speaker 1: and it's really sad. And I'm like, but what if

50
00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:17,880
Speaker 1: the contract is expired and everything was okay, and you

51
00:02:17,919 --> 00:02:20,440
Speaker 1: could move on about, you know, your life in the

52
00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:21,120
Speaker 1: way that you want to.

53
00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:21,680
Speaker 3: That's okay.

54
00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:24,720
Speaker 5: I think Sheldon would pick me again, see, and then

55
00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:26,160
Speaker 5: you wouldn't have to worry about it. And I told,

56
00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:28,600
Speaker 5: because I always tell him how bored he'd be without me.

57
00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:31,799
Speaker 5: He just keep saying a lot of less drama, that's

58
00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:33,919
Speaker 5: for sure, you know, that's the answer I get.

59
00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:35,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, but at the end of the day, I mean,

60
00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:40,040
Speaker 3: he would probably miss some of that drama, highly entertained, right,

61
00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:44,079
Speaker 3: So I keep telling him, but yeah, okay. Let's let's

62
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:45,880
Speaker 3: say you're sitting down with the person you're married to

63
00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:49,239
Speaker 3: and you have you have thirty days left, so you

64
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,360
Speaker 3: have to either you know, march down or go online

65
00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,200
Speaker 3: and redo it or whatever. Yeah, you have to get

66
00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:56,640
Speaker 3: it redone. You have to physically maybe pay a fee

67
00:02:56,680 --> 00:03:00,320
Speaker 3: and you know, RELICNSE and up your license. And you're like,

68
00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:04,520
Speaker 3: oh no, no, I can't do it. I think we're done.

69
00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:08,239
Speaker 3: You know. Then the conversation starts, well why are you done?

70
00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:11,200
Speaker 3: And you actually talk about things that you wouldn't talk

71
00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:12,799
Speaker 3: about normally.

72
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,240
Speaker 1: Right, I mean, I think when you commit to someone forever,

73
00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:18,120
Speaker 1: that's a big, big word in a very long time.

74
00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:21,160
Speaker 1: But you might not be thinking about all the things

75
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:23,800
Speaker 1: that could change down the road. And I think that

76
00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:25,880
Speaker 1: you should just be able to reassess, like, hey, are

77
00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:28,320
Speaker 1: you still happy? How many people would just coast forever

78
00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:29,800
Speaker 1: and not actually be happy?

79
00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:34,040
Speaker 3: What about you? Nate forces you to have that conversation,

80
00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:34,960
Speaker 3: that's for sure.

81
00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:37,680
Speaker 4: And I'll say this, I think for anybody that's been

82
00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:41,120
Speaker 4: through a divorce, you probably know before that conversation even

83
00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:46,160
Speaker 4: happens that it's not going to continue. So yeah, I

84
00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,880
Speaker 4: firmly agree with this. Gandhi. I think this is a

85
00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:52,840
Speaker 4: great idea and too bad it's not implemented. I know that,

86
00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:55,440
Speaker 4: fellow divorces.

87
00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:57,920
Speaker 3: Am I I guess you are? Yeah, yes you are.

88
00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:01,880
Speaker 3: You're a gay divorcee.

89
00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:05,000
Speaker 4: You know. I think that you just know that it's

90
00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:08,200
Speaker 4: not going to continue. And if that conversation was forced

91
00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:11,280
Speaker 4: to happen because the contract was expiring, you would be

92
00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:14,200
Speaker 4: able to admit, Okay, let's this is not working for me,

93
00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:16,560
Speaker 4: and then you either come to terms where you can

94
00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:18,800
Speaker 4: renew that contract or.

95
00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:22,640
Speaker 1: You just end it right and with divorces, yeah, when

96
00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:25,520
Speaker 1: you renew a contract, you have to think about what

97
00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:28,080
Speaker 1: you're renewing, and it's it's a good thing for everyone.

98
00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:29,000
Speaker 3: Go hey, gnhi. Sorry.

99
00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:31,280
Speaker 1: Well, with divorces, one person can contest it. But I

100
00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:33,520
Speaker 1: feel like with this marriage license renewal, if one person

101
00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:36,040
Speaker 1: doesn't sign, it's not getting renewed. That's it. You can't

102
00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:38,000
Speaker 1: fight back and forth about it. You both didn't sign,

103
00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:40,279
Speaker 1: so it's not happening, that's it. Whereas you know, we've

104
00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:42,600
Speaker 1: seen so many divorces where one person wants it and

105
00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:45,359
Speaker 1: the other person's contesting it, and it's like, dude or woman,

106
00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:46,360
Speaker 1: why are you doing this?

107
00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:48,560
Speaker 3: Let it go? Yeah, why would you want to contest

108
00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:49,080
Speaker 3: with someone?

109
00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:49,800
Speaker 4: You know?

110
00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:54,640
Speaker 3: I'll change their mind, I'll make them like me again. Yet,

111
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:58,320
Speaker 3: exactly is this going on in any country in the world,

112
00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:02,840
Speaker 3: any other place I want if they do have marriage

113
00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:04,800
Speaker 3: licenses that expire.

114
00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:08,960
Speaker 4: I don't know much about prenups. Probably contributed to my

115
00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:14,560
Speaker 4: problem is that something you can put any prenup elvis

116
00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:15,520
Speaker 4: I don't know.

117
00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:18,400
Speaker 3: You can put whatever you want. You can put whatever

118
00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:23,039
Speaker 3: you want into a prenup, but different states have have

119
00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:26,200
Speaker 3: different levels and lines that what is what they say

120
00:05:26,279 --> 00:05:28,760
Speaker 3: is fair and not fair. Does that make sense? So

121
00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:31,680
Speaker 3: you could say, well, if we decided to divorce, you

122
00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:33,800
Speaker 3: got to pay me two million dollars. Well, you know,

123
00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:35,479
Speaker 3: the judge at that point will go, well, this is

124
00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:38,000
Speaker 3: this is not going to stand up. No, you know.

125
00:05:38,279 --> 00:05:40,080
Speaker 1: Oh so then what's the point of it.

126
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:44,119
Speaker 3: The well no, but well okay, Well I can speak

127
00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:53,640
Speaker 3: for a friend. Different states have different numbers that they have.

128
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:57,920
Speaker 3: It's it's it's it's all kind of formulated where you know,

129
00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:59,920
Speaker 3: if you've been together this many years and you make

130
00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:04,720
Speaker 3: this much money, there's there's there's math involved, and that

131
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:07,560
Speaker 3: this would be fair. This would be a fair threshold

132
00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:10,920
Speaker 3: for them to be paid out. Okay, if the wedding

133
00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:14,039
Speaker 3: comes to the marriage comes to a close, you could

134
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:17,200
Speaker 3: actually put a number much lower or number much higher,

135
00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:20,600
Speaker 3: but those would be those would be easily contested by

136
00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:23,920
Speaker 3: the judges in that state. Does it make sense? Yes, okay.

137
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:26,799
Speaker 4: And it's different from state to state. We just spoke

138
00:06:26,839 --> 00:06:29,800
Speaker 4: to somebody it is state in the Midwest, and I

139
00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:33,760
Speaker 4: was blown away by what their law was versus the

140
00:06:33,839 --> 00:06:34,320
Speaker 4: law here.

141
00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:38,040
Speaker 5: Interesting, right, like, we have a no fault state, right,

142
00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:42,360
Speaker 5: Jersey is a no fault state. I had a friend

143
00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:45,160
Speaker 5: who was not at fault for the divorce. They got

144
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:48,279
Speaker 5: divorced because he cheated on her and it was really

145
00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:51,560
Speaker 5: really bad, but she made more money, so she had

146
00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:52,440
Speaker 5: to pay him.

147
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:55,160
Speaker 3: I'm like, dude, he cheating on you and you had

148
00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:55,840
Speaker 3: to pay him.

149
00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:57,000
Speaker 5: That's how it works.

150
00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:00,360
Speaker 3: Another kind of sad thing about the no fault state

151
00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:02,400
Speaker 3: is you can just get a phone call from an

152
00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:06,400
Speaker 3: attorney one day saying, hey, they want to divorce you really,

153
00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:11,320
Speaker 3: and there's there's no contesting it, no, no, they can

154
00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:13,240
Speaker 3: go and if you have a prenup, you got to

155
00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:15,680
Speaker 3: pay him no matter what. That's the way that works.

156
00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:17,960
Speaker 1: One of the interesting things about all this that we

157
00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:21,160
Speaker 1: keep talking about is everybody is talking about these numbers

158
00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:24,640
Speaker 1: because marriage is a business contract, isn't it. It is

159
00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:27,080
Speaker 1: a contract because if it's just love, you don't have

160
00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:29,880
Speaker 1: to get anybody else involved. But when there's a contract,

161
00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:32,280
Speaker 1: because of how it works, it needs to be looked at.

162
00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:34,480
Speaker 1: I think from a more businesslike perspective.

163
00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:35,080
Speaker 6: Agree.

164
00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:39,240
Speaker 5: Oh God, that's one who's never getting mad.

165
00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:40,320
Speaker 3: You're going to get married.

166
00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:43,360
Speaker 1: In my opinion, when he yelsy agrees, no, I do agree.

167
00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:46,040
Speaker 6: Because I feel like we always talk about you change

168
00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:49,360
Speaker 6: as a person day by day, so every two years

169
00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:53,040
Speaker 6: there should be a required a required you know, reup

170
00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:56,040
Speaker 6: of the contract, and you must be required to take

171
00:07:56,360 --> 00:08:00,520
Speaker 6: like an assessment test of all these questionnaire like did

172
00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:03,120
Speaker 6: you fulfill this? Did you honor that? And then this

173
00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:05,080
Speaker 6: way you get graded on it, and you guys look

174
00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:07,160
Speaker 6: at each other's scores and you're like, then you could

175
00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:08,960
Speaker 6: really say, yeah, it's time to get okay.

176
00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:11,680
Speaker 5: So if this was the case, would you marry Robin

177
00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:15,720
Speaker 5: for two years and then sit down and discuss whether

178
00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:16,160
Speaker 5: to re up?

179
00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:17,600
Speaker 3: I would?

180
00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:25,040
Speaker 6: I would think about it, Okay, No, because marriages forever,

181
00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:27,160
Speaker 6: they always say it's forever. You're putting your you know,

182
00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:29,840
Speaker 6: you're taking these vows, and I don't know that to

183
00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:30,760
Speaker 6: me is too permanent.

184
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:32,559
Speaker 3: I don't like permanence. I don't know. I don't think

185
00:08:32,559 --> 00:08:35,680
Speaker 3: people getting married anymore think of it as permanence. I

186
00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:39,600
Speaker 3: just don't, you know, no, not not realistically, you know,

187
00:08:40,559 --> 00:08:43,840
Speaker 3: to be wetted forever. I don't think people getting married

188
00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:45,640
Speaker 3: a lot. I'm not saying everyone, but a lot of

189
00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:47,800
Speaker 3: people are like, well, it's gonna work, and if it

190
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:50,640
Speaker 3: doesn't work, we won't together anymore, we'll get out.

191
00:08:50,559 --> 00:08:52,800
Speaker 1: Of it anymore. It seems like I'm gonna try my best.

192
00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:55,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'll give my best. Yeah, I'll give it a shot.

193
00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:57,320
Speaker 5: But I think it also depends on how you were

194
00:08:57,320 --> 00:09:00,440
Speaker 5: brought up, and also religious religion plays a big part

195
00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:03,120
Speaker 5: in a lot of people's lives and being married, you know,

196
00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:05,679
Speaker 5: in your church or in your synagogue or you know whatever.

197
00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:08,520
Speaker 5: So I think some people do look at it differently,

198
00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:10,920
Speaker 5: that it's under the eyes of the boy. It's different,

199
00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:11,160
Speaker 5: you know.

200
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:15,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, they do. And then the divorce, Yeah, some.

201
00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:18,439
Speaker 5: Of them, some of them don't.

202
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:20,880
Speaker 3: I know, Daniel, that's exactly what I just said, didn't

203
00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:24,360
Speaker 3: I I did. We're good, We're good. Well, there you go,

204
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:27,000
Speaker 3: a very happy conversation about divorce.

205
00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:30,800
Speaker 1: Be realistic about what's going on. Like you would never

206
00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:33,400
Speaker 1: sign a work contract forever, so you should just think

207
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:35,320
Speaker 1: about things because it is a business contract in so

208
00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:37,000
Speaker 1: many ways. Think about it in that context.

209
00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:41,520
Speaker 3: I just don't see the difference between just divorcing versus

210
00:09:42,559 --> 00:09:45,320
Speaker 3: it expires. Well, what are the benefits to just having

211
00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:48,680
Speaker 3: expired and you walk away? There's still a business contract.

212
00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:50,040
Speaker 1: I haven't worked it all out in my head yet.

213
00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:52,719
Speaker 3: Go get that work. Starting a business. I think you

214
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:55,640
Speaker 3: started a business exactly, So go ahead. If you're listening

215
00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:57,600
Speaker 3: to us on the iHeartRadio app, you can hit the

216
00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:59,199
Speaker 3: talk back button tell us what you think we want

217
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:00,000
Speaker 3: to hear. What's on your

218
00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:03,600
Speaker 2: The Elvista RAN after party