WEBVTT - This Is Michelle Saniei 0:00:06.480 --> 0:00:09.760 Well, this is exciting. I am here today to do 0:00:09.880 --> 0:00:14.239 my very first podcast, something I never imagine doing and 0:00:14.320 --> 0:00:17.680 definitely out of my comfort zone. I feel like all 0:00:17.680 --> 0:00:21.119 my life, all I've ever done is do things that 0:00:21.200 --> 0:00:24.880 are uncomfortable for me, which makes me grow as a person. 0:00:25.480 --> 0:00:29.600 And so I was literally born just such a quiet 0:00:29.680 --> 0:00:32.440 and shy person, and I feel like every single day 0:00:32.680 --> 0:00:36.320 I'm always out of my element and doing something uncomfortable. 0:00:36.960 --> 0:00:39.000 Most of you probably know me from a show I'm 0:00:39.040 --> 0:00:42.559 on called The Valley, and I'm doing this because I 0:00:42.560 --> 0:00:45.400 want you to know who I really am. I know 0:00:45.520 --> 0:00:48.200 that I'm hard to read at times. It's something I've 0:00:48.200 --> 0:00:51.319 heard all my life. I'm more shy and quiet than 0:00:51.360 --> 0:00:55.080 most people on reality TV. But this is my life 0:00:55.160 --> 0:00:56.960 and I want you all to know the real me. 0:00:57.600 --> 0:00:59.960 I do think in order to understand who I am, 0:01:00.000 --> 0:01:02.680 I am you really need to kind of know where 0:01:02.680 --> 0:01:06.280 I come from and how I got here. So I 0:01:06.319 --> 0:01:09.680 have two immigrant parents that came to LA in nineteen 0:01:09.760 --> 0:01:13.360 eighty five. My mom is from Guiliacan, Mexico, and my 0:01:13.480 --> 0:01:17.560 dad is from Tehran, Iran. They were both born and 0:01:17.720 --> 0:01:20.360 raised in their countries and decided to move to LA 0:01:20.920 --> 0:01:25.160 in their thirties. My dad was super intelligent, very strict 0:01:25.200 --> 0:01:28.560 with me, and he spoke five languages, hence why I 0:01:28.600 --> 0:01:31.960 have a little accent. I was raised by two parents 0:01:31.959 --> 0:01:34.560 that came from two different sides of the world, and 0:01:35.120 --> 0:01:41.720 I loved it because I got to experience two different cultures, food, languages, lifestyles. 0:01:42.280 --> 0:01:45.800 But they were both super loving and I couldn't have 0:01:45.959 --> 0:01:50.880 had a better upbringing In terms of love. I saw 0:01:50.920 --> 0:01:55.600 my parents truly love each other, respect one another, and 0:01:56.320 --> 0:01:58.960 it was an ideal marriage, at least in terms of 0:01:59.000 --> 0:02:02.840 my eyes. Prior to my parents getting married, my mom 0:02:03.080 --> 0:02:07.080 was actually married in Mexico and had my brother and sister, 0:02:07.400 --> 0:02:10.440 but her first husband passed away in a plane crash, 0:02:10.720 --> 0:02:12.959 and that is one of the reasons why she went 0:02:13.000 --> 0:02:16.000 to La. That is when she met my dad, and 0:02:16.480 --> 0:02:19.760 my dad said, come to LA I want to get married. 0:02:20.280 --> 0:02:23.040 And he raised my brother and sister as if it 0:02:23.120 --> 0:02:26.360 was his own children. So I never even got to 0:02:26.800 --> 0:02:29.480 feel that I had a half brother and sister. To me, 0:02:29.560 --> 0:02:32.000 they were just my brother and sister. So for a 0:02:32.120 --> 0:02:36.120 very long time, everything was amazing with my parents, my 0:02:36.200 --> 0:02:40.480 brother and sister, you would call it like the perfect family. 0:02:41.040 --> 0:02:44.440 I didn't see them fight, they respected each other. My 0:02:44.560 --> 0:02:47.560 dad was romantic. It was just like a very loving, 0:02:48.360 --> 0:02:52.640 normal household. And when I was about twelve years old, 0:02:53.520 --> 0:02:58.840 things slowly started changing with my dad's personality and mental state. 0:03:00.440 --> 0:03:03.720 Was studying psychology, she was getting a master's degree, and 0:03:03.800 --> 0:03:05.960 my mom would tell my sister the things that my 0:03:06.120 --> 0:03:09.280 dad was saying and doing, and we all had to 0:03:09.360 --> 0:03:11.840 sit down and have a conversation with him that he 0:03:11.919 --> 0:03:16.280 needed to get help and maybe get diagnosed. And that 0:03:16.440 --> 0:03:20.320 is when I remember. My dad picked me up from 0:03:20.360 --> 0:03:23.760 school one day and sat me down, and it was 0:03:23.760 --> 0:03:25.720 the first time I saw my dad cry. And he 0:03:25.880 --> 0:03:28.280 asked me if it was okay if he divorced my 0:03:28.360 --> 0:03:31.520 mom and if he could leave me because he didn't 0:03:31.560 --> 0:03:34.520 think it was safe for me to be around. And 0:03:34.560 --> 0:03:38.840 I said yes. So my life drastically changed in a 0:03:38.880 --> 0:03:42.320 matter of a day. I went from loving parents to 0:03:42.480 --> 0:03:45.680 suddenly my mom has to get her act together and 0:03:45.760 --> 0:03:49.440 figure out how to financially take care of me, to 0:03:49.520 --> 0:03:52.720 get a job, and to do everything else at the house. 0:03:53.120 --> 0:03:55.400 I was raised in West Hollywood and then we went 0:03:55.440 --> 0:03:58.640 to a really nice neighborhood in South Pasadena. That's where 0:03:58.640 --> 0:04:00.960 I lived with my parents and I went from living 0:04:01.000 --> 0:04:03.840 to a very nice community to all of a sudden, 0:04:04.120 --> 0:04:06.480 I had to move to San Diego by the border, 0:04:06.880 --> 0:04:11.040 a city called sanny Sidro, and everybody lived by the 0:04:11.040 --> 0:04:14.240 Mexican border, so you either lived in Mexico or in 0:04:14.320 --> 0:04:17.520 Sandy Sidro, and everybody spoke Spanish and it was just 0:04:17.600 --> 0:04:23.080 like a completely different culture change overnight for me. So 0:04:23.200 --> 0:04:26.919 fast forward to a crazy high school where I have 0:04:27.240 --> 0:04:30.000 girls just want to fight me, and it was just 0:04:30.080 --> 0:04:32.320 really hard because they called me the white girl. So 0:04:32.360 --> 0:04:35.000 I never really quite fit in because when I lived 0:04:35.000 --> 0:04:38.679 in La I was the Mexican Persian girl with the accent, 0:04:38.680 --> 0:04:40.640 and then I go to a Mexican school and then 0:04:40.680 --> 0:04:42.760 I'm the white girl, so I was just always out 0:04:42.800 --> 0:04:45.680 of place. Then I go to college and I have 0:04:45.760 --> 0:04:49.000 to support myself because my brother and sister had a degree, 0:04:49.040 --> 0:04:51.640 so I have to of course have a degree just 0:04:51.680 --> 0:04:53.599 because I want to be like everybody else. And that 0:04:53.680 --> 0:04:56.359 was always important to my dad. He always thought, no 0:04:56.440 --> 0:05:00.760 matter what school, even with a new general, that you 0:05:00.880 --> 0:05:03.400 need to have that knowledge and background. So to me, 0:05:03.520 --> 0:05:04.960 I was like, Okay, I'm going to go to cal 0:05:05.040 --> 0:05:07.560 State get a degree, but I also have to pay 0:05:07.600 --> 0:05:11.240 for school and there was a Hooters nearby, so I 0:05:11.320 --> 0:05:13.440 was like, what is the best way to have a 0:05:13.560 --> 0:05:15.920 night job, get paid well, and go to school. So 0:05:16.000 --> 0:05:18.800 I was a Hooters girl for about five to six years. 0:05:19.080 --> 0:05:22.680 And I was naturally a very quiet and shy girl. 0:05:22.839 --> 0:05:25.599 So working at Hooters was actually one of the best 0:05:25.600 --> 0:05:27.960 things that I could have ever done for myself because 0:05:28.200 --> 0:05:30.080 I opened up for my show. I had to have 0:05:30.160 --> 0:05:33.520 conversations with people that I didn't necessarily want to have 0:05:33.560 --> 0:05:37.680 conversations with, and it just helped me grow into who 0:05:37.720 --> 0:05:40.719 I am today. So I thank Hooters for that. So 0:05:40.800 --> 0:05:44.120 once I started working at Hooters, I started making really 0:05:44.120 --> 0:05:47.680 good money, and I realized, like I was a hustler 0:05:47.720 --> 0:05:51.720 by heart. I always wanted more. I was like, how 0:05:51.720 --> 0:05:53.720 can I make more money? How can I work harder? 0:05:53.880 --> 0:05:57.440 How can I just live a nice life? And that 0:05:57.640 --> 0:06:00.640 was the first time that I got a tape of 0:06:01.360 --> 0:06:04.360 having some of my own money while I'm in college. 0:06:04.960 --> 0:06:07.240 And so when I graduated, I knew I got a 0:06:07.240 --> 0:06:09.400 business degree. I knew I wanted to be a real 0:06:09.520 --> 0:06:12.800 estate agent. My brother owned. My brother was a very 0:06:12.880 --> 0:06:17.040 successful lender. So I graduated, I went and moved in 0:06:17.080 --> 0:06:19.200 with my brother while I was studying to get my 0:06:19.240 --> 0:06:23.919 real estate license and I was his assistant. He told me, 0:06:24.040 --> 0:06:26.760 if you want to make really good money, the only 0:06:26.800 --> 0:06:29.640 way to do that is to prospect, and you do 0:06:29.720 --> 0:06:33.320 that by three ways, but the most important is one 0:06:33.520 --> 0:06:37.360 cold calling. So you literally have a list of five 0:06:37.440 --> 0:06:41.360 hundred numbers and you call one after the other and 0:06:41.440 --> 0:06:44.560 you set up listing appointments, and then you go door 0:06:44.600 --> 0:06:46.599 to door. So you go on a street, you pick 0:06:46.600 --> 0:06:49.400 a street, and you're gonna knock on fifty houses and 0:06:49.400 --> 0:06:51.760 you're going to introduce yourself and ask people if they 0:06:51.760 --> 0:06:54.720 want to sell their house. And that is literally how 0:06:55.279 --> 0:06:58.440 I first did it. And it was kind of crazy 0:06:58.520 --> 0:07:01.600 because I got my license and in the matter of 0:07:02.400 --> 0:07:06.599 eight months, I sold nineteen houses all by myself. And 0:07:07.279 --> 0:07:10.120 I worked for a prestigious company in San Diego, co 0:07:10.240 --> 0:07:13.280 WOA Banker, and I got Rookie of the Year. My 0:07:13.440 --> 0:07:16.320 brother at the time, so I started doing really well 0:07:16.360 --> 0:07:18.680 and he's like, have you ever watched Million Dollar Listing 0:07:18.760 --> 0:07:21.280 New York? I had never seen it, so I start 0:07:21.360 --> 0:07:24.080 watching it and I'm like, holy shit, I want to 0:07:24.120 --> 0:07:28.400 be just like these guys. They sell ten million dollar condos, 0:07:28.440 --> 0:07:32.240 twenty million they're hustlers, they wear nice suits. Like I 0:07:32.320 --> 0:07:36.800 want to be that version in a woman. So I 0:07:36.960 --> 0:07:40.080 google all of their names and email and I email 0:07:40.160 --> 0:07:43.560 all of them and Ryan Sarhant emails me back and 0:07:43.600 --> 0:07:47.040 he says, I'm opening up an office in LA. I'll 0:07:47.040 --> 0:07:49.000 be there next week if you want to have a meeting. 0:07:49.680 --> 0:07:55.320 So I did. I remember that meeting with him. I 0:07:55.520 --> 0:07:58.720 was very nervous because I'm like, oh my god, there's 0:07:58.720 --> 0:08:02.160 this guy on TV and opening up an office. And 0:08:02.520 --> 0:08:07.040 I remember driving down LA and I was in Beverly Hills. 0:08:07.120 --> 0:08:09.720 It's they call it the Beverly Hills Flats and it's 0:08:09.760 --> 0:08:13.240 close to Rodale Drive and I was just driving by myself, 0:08:13.400 --> 0:08:16.520 not knowing the area, and I'm like, wow, holy shit, 0:08:16.640 --> 0:08:18.720 if I just sell one or two of these houses, 0:08:18.760 --> 0:08:23.120 I'm gonna make so much money. So I impressed him 0:08:23.520 --> 0:08:26.160 with what I told him, and I think he saw 0:08:26.440 --> 0:08:28.680 what a go getter I was and that I just 0:08:28.720 --> 0:08:33.160 had huge dreams for myself, and he hired me immediately. 0:08:33.200 --> 0:08:36.040 He said, you can work under my team. I'm opening 0:08:36.160 --> 0:08:39.840 up sir Hanna in LA. And mind you, I didn't 0:08:39.840 --> 0:08:42.679 know anybody in La. I was from there when I 0:08:42.720 --> 0:08:45.559 was a child, but I didn't talk to people I 0:08:45.600 --> 0:08:48.320 went to school with. So I went from being such 0:08:48.360 --> 0:08:52.320 a successful agent at what twenty four years old in 0:08:52.400 --> 0:08:55.880 San Diego, already knowing that if I stayed there, like 0:08:56.120 --> 0:08:59.800 I would make millions of dollars. But I just had 0:08:59.800 --> 0:09:02.120 this fire in me and I'm like, I need to 0:09:02.200 --> 0:09:04.600 do this. I want more in my life, Like I 0:09:04.640 --> 0:09:06.040 want to live in LA. I want to live in 0:09:06.080 --> 0:09:09.840 Beverly Hills. I want to meet millionaires and celebrities, and 0:09:09.960 --> 0:09:13.040 I want that life for myself. So I literally told 0:09:13.080 --> 0:09:15.680 my family, I'm like, sorry, I'm leaving. And I found 0:09:15.679 --> 0:09:19.720 an apartment online and I moved. And it was very 0:09:19.800 --> 0:09:23.559 scary because I'm like, I don't have any source of income, 0:09:23.679 --> 0:09:38.560 and I went I started from scratch. So here I 0:09:38.600 --> 0:09:41.600 am in LA working for nest Seekers, which was a 0:09:41.679 --> 0:09:44.520 huge company in New York, but it wasn't big in LA. 0:09:44.640 --> 0:09:48.240 They were just starting their brand in LA. And so 0:09:48.520 --> 0:09:51.280 after being there for a couple of weeks, everybody kept 0:09:51.280 --> 0:09:55.319 saying the most prestigious, the highest, the hardest place to 0:09:55.400 --> 0:09:59.120 work for is Hilton and Highland. They only hire really 0:09:59.160 --> 0:10:03.080 top agents. They are the best of the best. So 0:10:03.280 --> 0:10:05.960 what do I do I call Hilton and Highland and 0:10:06.000 --> 0:10:09.520 I set up a meeting and I have an interview 0:10:09.640 --> 0:10:13.720 with the bosses. Rick Hilton, which is Kathy Hilton's husband, 0:10:13.920 --> 0:10:17.000 met with me and again I think you could just 0:10:17.320 --> 0:10:20.680 I always had this fire in me, especially in my twenties, 0:10:20.720 --> 0:10:24.679 because I just thought anything's possible, and if you do 0:10:24.800 --> 0:10:27.360 the work, it will show and I'll be okay, I'll 0:10:27.400 --> 0:10:29.160 figure it out. I did it in San Diego, I 0:10:29.160 --> 0:10:31.719 can do it again. And they saw that and they 0:10:31.720 --> 0:10:34.960 actually hired me, not being a big agent in La 0:10:35.440 --> 0:10:38.080 so I just start working at Hilton and Highland. And 0:10:38.160 --> 0:10:40.920 after a couple of weeks, I remember walking in one 0:10:41.000 --> 0:10:43.719 day and I was on the phone having a conversation 0:10:43.840 --> 0:10:45.440 with my mom and I had to pick up some 0:10:45.880 --> 0:10:50.360 marketing materials and Jesse Lally was working at Hilton and 0:10:50.440 --> 0:10:53.240 Highland and he saw me and so he follows me 0:10:53.320 --> 0:10:56.000 down the street, hoping that I get off the phone, 0:10:56.160 --> 0:11:00.479 which I don't. So then he actually messages me on FAMEOK, 0:11:00.559 --> 0:11:05.280 this is back in twenty fifteen. He messages me on 0:11:05.320 --> 0:11:09.560 Facebook and he says something cheesy. It was like I 0:11:09.559 --> 0:11:12.040 don't even remember. It was something about air conditioning. It 0:11:12.160 --> 0:11:15.079 was really hot, so I had never seen him in person. 0:11:15.200 --> 0:11:17.720 When he messaged me, he had seen me and he 0:11:18.040 --> 0:11:21.000 asked me, Hey, we have an office meeting on Tuesday. 0:11:21.040 --> 0:11:22.880 Would you like to go out on a date with 0:11:22.960 --> 0:11:25.720 me that night? And I said sure, and he's like, great, 0:11:25.880 --> 0:11:27.720 why don't we have a cup of coffee before the 0:11:27.760 --> 0:11:30.280 office meeting so you can get to know who I am, 0:11:30.320 --> 0:11:34.880 and then we'll go out at night. So I see him, 0:11:35.000 --> 0:11:39.200 and I think he's very handsome, but he does literally 0:11:39.360 --> 0:11:43.079 all the wrong things any guy can ever do. He 0:11:43.360 --> 0:11:47.600 sits down, apparently he had like twenty cups of coffee. 0:11:47.640 --> 0:11:52.040 He doesn't ask me a single question about me. He's 0:11:52.080 --> 0:11:55.560 just talking about, rambling on about himself. And then he's 0:11:56.280 --> 0:11:58.600 he's saying things like, oh, I just got out of 0:11:58.640 --> 0:12:02.119 a committed five year relationship and I don't want anything serious, 0:12:02.160 --> 0:12:04.559 and I'm just looking like he's just that is not 0:12:04.600 --> 0:12:08.160 what I wanted to hear. Mind you, in my mind, 0:12:08.240 --> 0:12:10.720 I'm like, I need to be married before thirty. So 0:12:11.000 --> 0:12:15.359 I was trying to find a serious boyfriend, a serious relationship, 0:12:15.440 --> 0:12:17.600 and he's literally telling me the opposite of what I 0:12:17.640 --> 0:12:20.760 want to hear. So I go to the office meeting, 0:12:20.800 --> 0:12:22.040 I'm like, how am I going to get out of 0:12:22.080 --> 0:12:25.680 this date? And so that night I text him, I'm 0:12:25.720 --> 0:12:27.720 so sorry, I have a migraine, and I end up 0:12:27.720 --> 0:12:30.840 going out with my girls. So this is the infamous 0:12:30.920 --> 0:12:33.719 story because a lot of people I got feedback and 0:12:33.760 --> 0:12:36.600 they're like, why would you Why would you have a 0:12:36.720 --> 0:12:39.680 child with a one night stand. But I don't think 0:12:39.720 --> 0:12:43.320 people realize that that is not what I was looking for. 0:12:44.760 --> 0:12:47.160 I go out with my girlfriends. Yes, I get drunk, 0:12:47.200 --> 0:12:50.120 and I'm like, okay, I'm just gonna He's not husband material, 0:12:50.240 --> 0:12:52.680 so I'm just gonna use him as a booty call, 0:12:53.200 --> 0:12:56.440 and that is what I did. So the following day, 0:12:57.200 --> 0:13:01.720 he actually acts totally normal. He's contact me, he's texting me, 0:13:01.800 --> 0:13:04.559 he wants to see me, and we just start spending 0:13:04.600 --> 0:13:06.960 every day together. And that is what I was looking for. 0:13:07.040 --> 0:13:10.640 I wanted something serious. So it was very contradicting what 0:13:10.720 --> 0:13:13.680 he first told me when he met me as to 0:13:13.920 --> 0:13:17.000 how he was treating me and him and I started 0:13:17.000 --> 0:13:19.920 going out a lot, going to restaurants, sitting at bars 0:13:20.520 --> 0:13:24.640 and people. We were just organically having conversations with people 0:13:24.760 --> 0:13:27.559 about the real estate market and about buying and selling, 0:13:28.160 --> 0:13:29.920 and so we would meet people and they're like, oh, 0:13:30.000 --> 0:13:31.439 we want to look for a house, and we're like, oh, 0:13:31.440 --> 0:13:35.800 we can help you. So we just became partners without 0:13:35.920 --> 0:13:38.640 even trying to be partners, because it just made sense, 0:13:38.720 --> 0:13:41.600 like we can both help you, and so it just 0:13:41.760 --> 0:13:45.839 organically happened. Where As soon as we started dating, we 0:13:45.840 --> 0:13:48.680 were business partners and we started closing a lot of 0:13:48.679 --> 0:13:55.160 deals together. Jesse and I were I think people get 0:13:55.160 --> 0:13:58.240 confused because they saw the very end of our relationship, 0:13:58.320 --> 0:14:02.959 but it was like that in the beginning. It was amazing, 0:14:03.240 --> 0:14:08.360 it was easy. I thought. What I loved most about 0:14:08.520 --> 0:14:12.160 Jesse is that I saw that we could build a 0:14:12.160 --> 0:14:15.600 great life together, that I could have a partner, that 0:14:16.120 --> 0:14:18.880 we could you know, we didn't have a lot of 0:14:18.920 --> 0:14:22.120 money at the time, and throughout the years we were 0:14:22.160 --> 0:14:25.120 doing bigger deals. We started from three million to ten 0:14:25.160 --> 0:14:28.000 million to twenty million. We sold the house for forty million, 0:14:28.520 --> 0:14:32.600 and I just saw that we could enjoy life, travel 0:14:32.800 --> 0:14:35.600 and just do it together. And that's really what I 0:14:35.640 --> 0:14:38.360 wanted because all my life I felt like I always 0:14:38.400 --> 0:14:41.120 did everything on my own and I wanted that partner. 0:14:41.640 --> 0:14:43.760 So Jesse and I were together for a long time 0:14:43.840 --> 0:14:48.640 and things were really good. There were obviously red flags, 0:14:48.720 --> 0:14:51.240 but when you're young, you don't really pay attention to them, 0:14:51.440 --> 0:14:53.760 or you just think you brush them under the rug 0:14:53.800 --> 0:14:55.840 and you just think it's going to be fine. And 0:14:56.280 --> 0:14:59.000 for the most part, things were good, and I just thought, 0:14:59.040 --> 0:15:02.240 nobody's perfect, it'll be okay, we'll figure it out and 0:15:03.280 --> 0:15:09.360 just keep moving forward. You guys watched season one. Our 0:15:09.440 --> 0:15:12.400 marriage didn't end up working, but I'll get back to 0:15:12.440 --> 0:15:15.840 that in a second. While we were married, Jesse and 0:15:15.880 --> 0:15:18.960 I are constantly going out meeting people, and we meet 0:15:19.040 --> 0:15:24.360 two very important people, Jack's and Brittany. Apparently Jack's and 0:15:24.440 --> 0:15:28.000 Jesse were roommates over twenty years ago. They lived in 0:15:28.000 --> 0:15:30.880 New York City and they were trying to be actors 0:15:30.920 --> 0:15:35.000 and models. They had a falling out, and I don't 0:15:35.000 --> 0:15:37.480 really know what happened, and I think that's their story 0:15:37.520 --> 0:15:41.640 to tell. So Jackson Jesse finally reconnected once Jesse and 0:15:41.640 --> 0:15:45.880 I were married, and he introduced me to Brittany. I 0:15:45.920 --> 0:15:50.440 remember when Brittany and I first met where we talked 0:15:50.440 --> 0:15:53.040 about how old we were were the same age. Then 0:15:53.080 --> 0:15:55.360 she mentioned she was a Hooters girl and I said 0:15:55.400 --> 0:15:58.080 it too, and we're like, wait, what, We're both Hooter girls. 0:15:58.120 --> 0:16:01.240 We were Hooter managers, and we just like, from that 0:16:01.400 --> 0:16:05.080 moment on, we got it, because you know, once a 0:16:05.120 --> 0:16:08.000 Hooter's girl, always a Hooters girl. I guess what I 0:16:08.080 --> 0:16:10.760 really love about Brittany is that she was just a 0:16:10.920 --> 0:16:14.080 happy person. No matter what, She's always happy. She was 0:16:14.200 --> 0:16:18.200 very inviting, and she introduced me to everybody. So the 0:16:18.200 --> 0:16:20.360 more I would hang out at Brittany's house, the more 0:16:20.400 --> 0:16:22.320 I was meeting everybody. And then I ended up being 0:16:22.360 --> 0:16:28.560 friends with Stasi, La, La, Sheena, Katie, just basically everybody. 0:16:28.920 --> 0:16:31.040 And what's ironic is I would hang out with all 0:16:31.080 --> 0:16:34.040 of these girls and people would send me messages and 0:16:34.080 --> 0:16:36.640 I'm like, well, I've never seen Vanderpump Rules. I'm not 0:16:36.640 --> 0:16:39.520 gonna watch it now because that would feel weird that 0:16:39.640 --> 0:16:42.760 like I'm watching my friends on TV. So to this day, 0:16:42.800 --> 0:16:46.280 I've never watched the show. So here I am back 0:16:46.320 --> 0:16:50.200 in twenty eighteen. I'm married to Jesse. We have an 0:16:50.200 --> 0:16:53.200 amazing friend group, and I finally have a group of 0:16:53.240 --> 0:16:56.400 girlfriends that you know, I call my girlfriends, which I 0:16:56.440 --> 0:17:00.960 never really had before growing up. Things are great. We 0:17:01.880 --> 0:17:03.640 finally say we want to have a child, so I 0:17:03.680 --> 0:17:07.600 get pregnant and we're looking forward. I always wanted a girl. 0:17:08.320 --> 0:17:10.240 We get the news that we're having a girl in 0:17:10.320 --> 0:17:15.399 twenty twenty, and what happens. COVID hits And actually, the 0:17:15.560 --> 0:17:17.760 one of the biggest fears I ever had in life 0:17:18.160 --> 0:17:21.639 was giving birth. I hate hospitals, I hate blood. I 0:17:21.720 --> 0:17:24.000 can't stand any of those things. I'm like, how am 0:17:24.000 --> 0:17:26.160 I going to have a child? It's my biggest fear. 0:17:26.160 --> 0:17:28.720 I've thought about it since I'm a little girl. Crazy 0:17:28.760 --> 0:17:32.640 but true. And so I'm eight months pregnant and then 0:17:32.640 --> 0:17:35.720 we start hearing about COVID things. I'm like, what is 0:17:35.760 --> 0:17:39.520 this COVID? And It'll be fine, And then suddenly in April, 0:17:40.119 --> 0:17:43.919 the worst time to have a baby. I'm like, I 0:17:43.960 --> 0:17:46.119 am scared out of my mind to have a child. 0:17:46.200 --> 0:17:48.679 I can't do this on my own. So every single 0:17:48.760 --> 0:17:51.560 day before I had a baby, I didn't even know 0:17:51.600 --> 0:17:53.200 if I was going to be by myself or not 0:17:53.720 --> 0:17:58.000 during labor. So April fifteen rolls around. I am a 0:17:58.080 --> 0:18:04.880 week early and at night on the thirteenth, I I'm 0:18:04.920 --> 0:18:07.600 sleeping and I wake up and I start having contractions 0:18:07.600 --> 0:18:10.360 and I tell Jesse and he's like, wait as long 0:18:10.400 --> 0:18:13.600 as you can, because people get sent back to the hospital. 0:18:13.920 --> 0:18:16.480 So I let the guy sleep all night while I'm 0:18:16.520 --> 0:18:20.000 having contractions at home by myself, and so I wait. 0:18:20.080 --> 0:18:23.080 He finally wakes up and he's like relaxed, and he's like, 0:18:23.119 --> 0:18:24.920 all right, are you ready to go to the hospital. 0:18:25.040 --> 0:18:27.080 And I'm like shaking at this point, I'm like, we 0:18:27.240 --> 0:18:30.000 need to go right now. And he's like, well, why 0:18:30.000 --> 0:18:32.280 don't you have breakfast because they don't have good food 0:18:32.400 --> 0:18:35.520 at the hospital, and then we can go. So he 0:18:35.640 --> 0:18:39.640 makes me eggs and I immediately vomit the eggs and 0:18:39.680 --> 0:18:41.560 he's like, I'm like, we need to go to the 0:18:41.560 --> 0:18:44.679 hospital now. I don't think you understand I'm having a baby. 0:18:44.760 --> 0:18:47.720 I don't even remember arriving, Like he had to get 0:18:47.720 --> 0:18:50.520 a whale chair because I couldn't walk up to the elevator. 0:18:50.800 --> 0:18:52.840 They're like, well, wait a minute, we have to check 0:18:52.960 --> 0:18:56.800 if she's if she can stay. They're like, but by 0:18:56.840 --> 0:18:59.359 the sound of it, I think she's good. So as 0:18:59.400 --> 0:19:01.120 soon as I check and they're like, oh, yeah, she's 0:19:01.119 --> 0:19:04.000 four centimeters, she's good. So they I go in the 0:19:04.000 --> 0:19:08.439 hospital and they said there's very strict rules. People are 0:19:08.480 --> 0:19:11.840 not allowed. I'm at the best hospital in La theaters 0:19:12.000 --> 0:19:14.720 and it looks like ghost town, like it literally looks 0:19:14.800 --> 0:19:18.000 like like the Walking Dead, like it was like walking 0:19:18.080 --> 0:19:22.720 Dead at the hospital, like dark, nobody around, and they 0:19:22.760 --> 0:19:26.040 put me in the last like dungeon room with no window. 0:19:28.040 --> 0:19:31.880 I get anxiety just thinking about that day. So so 0:19:31.960 --> 0:19:34.359 I arrived to the hospital and I said give me 0:19:34.440 --> 0:19:39.600 that epidural immediately. And Jesse was very anti everything he 0:19:39.720 --> 0:19:42.240 wanted natural and like, this is not happening. I'm four 0:19:42.280 --> 0:19:45.080 centimeters and I'm gonna die, so give me it now. 0:19:45.520 --> 0:19:47.600 So they gave it to me. And when I did 0:19:47.720 --> 0:19:52.040 do the epidural, I was stuck at seven centimeters for 0:19:52.160 --> 0:19:56.000 like a day, and so my doctor was like, you 0:19:56.080 --> 0:19:59.360 have high pressure. I wasn't feeling well. He's like, if 0:19:59.359 --> 0:20:01.320 we don't do someth thing about it, then we're gonna 0:20:01.359 --> 0:20:04.400 have to do C section. And then Jesse starts arguing 0:20:04.400 --> 0:20:07.080 with the doctor like, no, she's not gonna have there 0:20:07.160 --> 0:20:11.080 was something he wanted to help induce me, and they're 0:20:11.200 --> 0:20:14.639 arguing he's and finally my doctor is like, do you 0:20:14.680 --> 0:20:16.159 want her to die or do you want to have 0:20:16.240 --> 0:20:18.960 a healthy baby. We're doing this now, I'm overruling you, 0:20:19.160 --> 0:20:21.800 and she's I'm doing it, and he did it, and 0:20:21.920 --> 0:20:26.280 thank God, that night I delivered Isabella. So Jesse actually 0:20:26.280 --> 0:20:28.600 got to be with Isabella for about ten minutes and 0:20:28.640 --> 0:20:31.200 then he had to leave and they it was one 0:20:31.240 --> 0:20:33.359 in the morning. They put me in my room and 0:20:33.400 --> 0:20:36.720 I had no nurses. I had nobody around, nobody. I 0:20:36.720 --> 0:20:39.040 didn't even know that. I couldn't get out of bed 0:20:39.080 --> 0:20:41.240 and like walk to the bathroom and pee. Like when 0:20:41.240 --> 0:20:44.920 I tried, I was like, oh, I like stitched up. 0:20:45.240 --> 0:20:50.720 I couldn't do anything, so and even ringing the nurse button, 0:20:50.800 --> 0:20:53.240 it took like thirty minutes to get a nurse. So 0:20:53.440 --> 0:20:59.040 I just had the worst COVID baby experience that any 0:20:59.080 --> 0:21:01.679 woman fears of. Then of course that happened to me. 0:21:13.440 --> 0:21:16.840 So finally my life was checking off all the boxes 0:21:16.880 --> 0:21:19.920 and everything was great. I wanted to have a husband, 0:21:19.920 --> 0:21:23.080 I wanted to have a beautiful, healthy baby girl, thank 0:21:23.160 --> 0:21:28.600 the Lord, and everything seemed great. But once I had 0:21:28.600 --> 0:21:33.240 a child, your life instantly changes as a mother, and 0:21:33.440 --> 0:21:36.879 that is when things slowly started changing. And this is 0:21:36.920 --> 0:21:41.119 the part that my marriage became a nightmare. It was 0:21:41.160 --> 0:21:44.680 a very lonely time for me. But my world at 0:21:44.680 --> 0:21:49.119 the time was my daughter. And my home, and unfortunately 0:21:49.240 --> 0:21:54.119 that wasn't the same with Jesse. He continued his life 0:21:54.200 --> 0:21:56.560 as if he was still kind of a single guy, 0:21:57.240 --> 0:21:59.720 and I was expected to be at home, and he 0:22:00.000 --> 0:22:03.600 really kind of stop communicating with me. He was gone 0:22:03.680 --> 0:22:06.280 all the time, and even when he was home, he 0:22:06.359 --> 0:22:08.960 was always on the phone or he had his vodka 0:22:09.000 --> 0:22:12.000 on the rocks. And I never had that one on 0:22:12.000 --> 0:22:14.600 one where somebody asked me how I'm doing, or would 0:22:14.640 --> 0:22:17.440 have a conversation with me. And he was just getting 0:22:17.840 --> 0:22:21.520 further away while I was becoming more of a mother. 0:22:21.880 --> 0:22:24.560 He was not doing his part in trying to be 0:22:24.600 --> 0:22:27.840 a father. A lot of people ask me why didn't 0:22:27.880 --> 0:22:31.560 I leave sooner? When you're married, you don't just walk away. 0:22:31.880 --> 0:22:35.520 It takes time, and us as women, it's like you're married. 0:22:35.720 --> 0:22:38.160 I got married and I had no intention of ever 0:22:38.240 --> 0:22:40.720 getting divorced. I wanted to be married to him for 0:22:40.760 --> 0:22:44.560 the rest of my life. That was my mindset and 0:22:44.840 --> 0:22:49.399