Speaker 1: I feel so different. I don't even know how to
Speaker 1: explain it. I'm so glad I'm having this conversation with
Speaker 1: Josh because it's all just coming full circle for me.
Speaker 1: When your mom passes, I see that as a part
Speaker 1: of a greater plan of passing the baton, saying you're
Speaker 1: ready now to do your own thing. My job here
Speaker 1: is done. The first part of your life is going
Speaker 1: to be topsy turvy, volatile, crazy, changeable, unstable. What up, y'all?
Speaker 1: Happy Monday. It's so good to be with you on
Speaker 1: this beautiful day. I hope you all are having a
Speaker 1: great start to your week. Today we're gonna be finishing
Speaker 1: up our conversation on neurology, so let's not waste any
Speaker 1: more time. Let's get right into it. This is chick
Speaker 1: ease and chill. Okay, guys. So, as I mentioned, this
Speaker 1: is actually a part two of our conversation with numerologists
Speaker 1: John Seagull. He's been in this line of work for
Speaker 1: more than two decades and he's been kind enough to
Speaker 1: do a reading on me. So let's pick up right
Speaker 1: where we left off. I am nervous. I have never
Speaker 1: done a reading like this. I know about numerology. I've
Speaker 1: read about numerology. I was into it a lot more before.
Speaker 1: Now I'm just kind of like I think on the surface,
Speaker 1: but now I'm ready to get in there. This is
Speaker 1: my first time talking to Josh. Okay, I have not
Speaker 1: spoken to him before this. I just literally met him
Speaker 1: because of my podcast. So thank you to my right here. Um.
Speaker 1: And all he has is my full name, my birthday,
Speaker 1: and do you have the time I was born or no?
Speaker 1: I think that's not needed. That's only for astrology. Okay, perfect,
Speaker 1: So let's do it. Okay, so we talk about you know,
Speaker 1: your natural I call your natural ability. But you know,
Speaker 1: on the websites, you know, they'll say it's your destiny number.
Speaker 1: Right in your case, it's a fifty seven. Okay, now
Speaker 1: it's a seven. You'll go on the website that will
Speaker 1: say seven, you'll call DestinE number. It's not. Your destiny
Speaker 1: has nothing to do with that. The number seven is
Speaker 1: the number of truth and knowledge and delving into the
Speaker 1: mysteries and why Buddha when he was born walks seven steps.
Speaker 1: In Islam, they have seven heavens, seven house. In Catholicism
Speaker 1: they have the seven Holy sacraments and Judaism they have
Speaker 1: the seven candled menorah. In ancient India they have the
Speaker 1: seven great teachers called the Seven Reshi's okay. I can
Speaker 1: go on and on and on and show how every
Speaker 1: single major world religion, every almost every single spiritual tradition
Speaker 1: that's been around for any length of time venerates the
Speaker 1: number seven. So when we talk about your natural ability,
Speaker 1: you naturally instinctually delve into the truth and find the
Speaker 1: answer and figure that ship out because that's you were
Speaker 1: born with that you have the power to see through, analyze,
Speaker 1: find the truth, find answers, and spirituality can be a
Speaker 1: part of that. There's certain things that you know inherently.
Speaker 1: It's just and I gotta tell you something. It separates
Speaker 1: you from other people in a weird way. You're always
Speaker 1: going to be the way your mind thinks, a little
Speaker 1: bit introverted in the way you think. You know. You know,
Speaker 1: people have ironies and contradictions in the chart, you know.
Speaker 1: And one of the things when you're dealing with with skeptics,
Speaker 1: they try to play this game and they say, well
Speaker 1: what you said can apply to everybody. They get to
Speaker 1: this crazy, really illogical, insane area where they say, well
Speaker 1: everything applies to everything. What I'm saying is is that
Speaker 1: we're going to get to all your numbers, and we're
Speaker 1: just piecing it little by little. But if you want
Speaker 1: to know why you you inherently know this stuff, and
Speaker 1: people in your family are other people, they're not understanding
Speaker 1: that it is because you were born with with the
Speaker 1: mystical seven. Part of your talent here is to share information,
Speaker 1: knowledge and truth with others. I mean, you could do
Speaker 1: that through music, but it doesn't necessarily say music. It
Speaker 1: just says that you're here to share what you know
Speaker 1: with others. Now, I looked at that, and then I
Speaker 1: looked at your life path, which remember that's one of
Speaker 1: your lesson numbers. And so in numerology, there is a
Speaker 1: certain kind of number called a master number. Okay, the
Speaker 1: master number and what they are just double digits to
Speaker 1: repeat eleven five up to ninety nine. If you've got
Speaker 1: one of those, and you've got a fifty five and
Speaker 1: an eleven, so you've got two of those master numbers
Speaker 1: in your chart, so um you will you will have
Speaker 1: certain special gifts inherent in that number. People listening right
Speaker 1: now may not know this, but they may have a
Speaker 1: special Master number in their chart that they don't know about.
Speaker 1: The may explain certain skills they've got. Right now, understand this.
Speaker 1: That master number also happens to be one of your
Speaker 1: life lesson numbers, right, So you've got a master lesson.
Speaker 1: So it's like it's like, well, okay, I was given
Speaker 1: these extra skills or certain special qualities to me, but
Speaker 1: I have to learn that. You know, you didn't have
Speaker 1: that in your natural ability. You have to learn it.
Speaker 1: So yours is a fifty one. And right off the bat,
Speaker 1: there's some irony because five rules communications, right, But I
Speaker 1: just said seven is very introverted thinking number, and it
Speaker 1: kind of separates you from other people the way you are,
Speaker 1: you know, the way you're different. But the fifty five
Speaker 1: says your life is going to be about communications on
Speaker 1: a powerful level. Right now, here's the interesting about fifty five.
Speaker 1: Five is not a stable number. Okay, it is a
Speaker 1: freedom number. It is a restless number. Is a need
Speaker 1: for constant change, new things. It can't it can't stay stuck.
Speaker 1: It can't mean one particular situation for too long. So
Speaker 1: it brings the kind of a one like a travel adventure,
Speaker 1: new things in life. But if you if it's a
Speaker 1: part of a lesson. That means that there's a changeable
Speaker 1: energy to your environment growing up. It is not stable,
Speaker 1: and you know because five, by nature breaks the stability.
Speaker 1: Now there's a positive, and then there's a negative in
Speaker 1: every number. Okay, the positive is you have a fast, quick,
Speaker 1: adaptable mind, and you have remarkable communication capabilities, networking, communicating
Speaker 1: and innovating. Your your new ideas, new concepts in your
Speaker 1: mind is moving around this fast. And you have the
Speaker 1: ability to use the power marketing and promoting and all
Speaker 1: that kind of stuff and communicate your message right now.
Speaker 1: When when I look at that again, it's not like
Speaker 1: I said, well that can't be music business considered to
Speaker 1: fall unerneath that, But I'm thinking communication industry period. And
Speaker 1: then I look at that seven and I'm thinking, oh, well,
Speaker 1: she's got to drop her knowledge. She's got to get deep,
Speaker 1: she's got to explain things to people. Now she may
Speaker 1: do it in a very powerful communicative manner. The first
Speaker 1: part of her life is going to be topsy turvy, volatile, crazy, changeable, unstable.
Speaker 1: Since I can remember, my life has been emotionally unstable.
Speaker 1: I mean at home with my mom and my dad
Speaker 1: not being together. It was always wishy washy. They were
Speaker 1: back and forth. Um, we lived with my grandparents and
Speaker 1: we lived in the garage with the back of my
Speaker 1: uncle's house. So my life has always been a little
Speaker 1: like hectic for the lack of a better word, it's been.
Speaker 1: It was beautiful, but then here comes the stuff with
Speaker 1: my dad that happened, the sexual abuse, and and then
Speaker 1: the issue with my mom and I and it's just
Speaker 1: I feel like it has been an uphill battle. You're
Speaker 1: gonna have to learn discipline and focus. You gotta take
Speaker 1: that fire and you've got to discipline. Now, you say,
Speaker 1: what happens when I take the discipline? I discipline that
Speaker 1: double five? What moves from you know, unstable lifestyle, everything's
Speaker 1: you know, running around being kind of crazy, being out
Speaker 1: of focus. Because think about this, if you're just running around,
Speaker 1: you're and you're doing this, and you're scattered and you're
Speaker 1: not focused, you can't get anything done. You can have
Speaker 1: great success. It's true. Absolutely, you start something and you
Speaker 1: go onto something else and you're this and that. You're
Speaker 1: not focusing on things right. So now, but when you
Speaker 1: discipline it, that double five is a power number. Maybe
Speaker 1: that's there's a I'd say a life path waiting for
Speaker 1: you where you can use your innovative mind, your communication
Speaker 1: skills to become kind of the master of getting the
Speaker 1: message out, and your mind is always thinking to something
Speaker 1: that's like an inventor, Like I got a new idea,
Speaker 1: got this, I got that, but I'm going to focus
Speaker 1: in on it and discipline my life so I can
Speaker 1: get that thing happening, so I don't repeat the crazy, tumultuous, unstable,
Speaker 1: out of whack ship. Yeah, you're speaking to mysel all right. Now,
Speaker 1: when you add down the fifty five, five and five,
Speaker 1: make ten, one and zero make one, okay. So one
Speaker 1: means that you're here to to really do your own
Speaker 1: thing and be a unique leader in your field. That
Speaker 1: means you have to have a strong sense of self
Speaker 1: and identity, like this is who I am. I'm doing
Speaker 1: my own thing. I'm not a follower. One. One leads
Speaker 1: all the numbers. One doesn't go, hey, three, wonder why
Speaker 1: I start. They're like, dude, you're one, you start, we
Speaker 1: follow you, all right. So one represents the identity. That
Speaker 1: means you're going to have a parent who may their
Speaker 1: identity may be either too big or their identity may
Speaker 1: be strong and they may have some kind of a
Speaker 1: narcissism to them. You know, I'm so so a level okay,
Speaker 1: And so they're gonna overshadow your identity. Your identity is
Speaker 1: going to be carving out who you are. You have
Speaker 1: to create your own thing, remember it. So I said
Speaker 1: this is a lesson number. I didn't say it came
Speaker 1: to you like that right now. I've also just so
Speaker 1: you understand, there are cases where you also can be
Speaker 1: abandoned in a weird way. So there can be control
Speaker 1: like you've got to be like this, you should be
Speaker 1: like this. They look at you as an extension of them.
Speaker 1: Where they see you is that, and they maybe have
Speaker 1: opinions and things like that, you know, and then you're
Speaker 1: like but then you grow up thinking, well, who the
Speaker 1: funk am I? My own identity didn't get carved out.
Speaker 1: I was too affected by the narcissistic person who over
Speaker 1: identified with themselves. To help you to see you, you
Speaker 1: got to overshadow at that. Now you have to understand
Speaker 1: there's the other side of that too. So being around
Speaker 1: very insecure people who are who don't know who they are,
Speaker 1: it's not good for you, just as much as being
Speaker 1: around people who are all about themselves and narcissistant. I
Speaker 1: gotta tell you there's a likelihood that you'd grow up
Speaker 1: out of that and attract the two extremes of the
Speaker 1: narcissist thick access. So that would be like somebody, well,
Speaker 1: you're gonna repeat what you know? You think you think
Speaker 1: you're gonna get conditioned by that. Dude. I want to cry.
Speaker 1: I'm fucking triving out right now. Okay. So so so
Speaker 1: that's your Remember, that's your matrix, that's your program. And
Speaker 1: so you're gonna the program is don't be you, it
Speaker 1: ain't about you. Then you go out, what do you
Speaker 1: think is gonna happen? You're gonna say, oh well, it's
Speaker 1: not about you. Then it's gonna be about me. And
Speaker 1: then you're gonna attract another narcissist and it's gonna be
Speaker 1: about them. And then and here's the thing. What I
Speaker 1: found is something called an undercover narcissist. I found this
Speaker 1: side from talking to my clients, because sometimes they attract
Speaker 1: these people who are like, let me begin an example,
Speaker 1: like you have a friend that their life is just
Speaker 1: oh man, they never figure it out. They're always got
Speaker 1: a problem and issue there. They're insecure, they always they
Speaker 1: never get over the hump, and then something really great
Speaker 1: happen in your life. You want to sit down and
Speaker 1: tell them, but you look in their eyes and they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: I can't say this. I can't tell them that they're
Speaker 1: already this is gonna make them feel worse. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: click them. You keep yourself a little small around them,
Speaker 1: You dim your life. Let me tell you something, what's
Speaker 1: the difference if you attract the narcissist that becomes all
Speaker 1: about them and you lose yourself to them, or you're
Speaker 1: with somebody that's insecuted so insecure that you dim your
Speaker 1: life so they don't feel bad. At both cases, yeah,
Speaker 1: in both cases you were giving away yourself. Yea. And
Speaker 1: the funny thing about this is when I talked to
Speaker 1: once and I asked them about this stuff. Sometimes they
Speaker 1: had a parent that was an egotist or there or narcissistic,
Speaker 1: or they're they're about there, you know, this big person.
Speaker 1: And sometimes they had a parent who is insecure and
Speaker 1: unsure of themselves. And in both cases they had the
Speaker 1: same They both had a loss of self. Right. So
Speaker 1: I don't know what I told you these things. I
Speaker 1: don't know I don't know which one it is because
Speaker 1: they have a similar response. I know this much. You
Speaker 1: can still attract either one of those if you're going
Speaker 1: to repeat your pattern, and then you have to wake
Speaker 1: up and wait wait wait, wait wait wait. I can
Speaker 1: be loved and be and shine my light at the
Speaker 1: same time. Josh is absolutely correct. I have dealt with
Speaker 1: both sides of the spectrum, narcissistic and insecure but pretended
Speaker 1: to be very secure but in reality wasn't. I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna say any names here, you guys, but I've dealt
Speaker 1: with that with family members and relationships. I had a
Speaker 1: very narcissistic partner once in my life, and I felt
Speaker 1: like it was just all about him, and he wasn't
Speaker 1: really allowing me to be who I am meant to
Speaker 1: be in this world. It was in a way, it
Speaker 1: was it was all about him, But then he was
Speaker 1: also insecure because he was afraid of what I can become.
Speaker 1: So when I said, hey, I want to continue to
Speaker 1: do this X, Y, and Z, it was like, well, no,
Speaker 1: I want a wife that stays home and has children
Speaker 1: and all these things, which is fine, but I had
Speaker 1: goals that I wanted to accomplish, so I had to
Speaker 1: excitate that relationship. And then in one of my past relationships,
Speaker 1: he was very confident exteriorly like he you know, on
Speaker 1: his exterior he was like, yeah, you know, I got this,
Speaker 1: But my light kind of not bothered him, but I
Speaker 1: guess I did. I had to just step back a
Speaker 1: little bit and not be myself to my full potential
Speaker 1: because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I didn't
Speaker 1: want him to feel like he was less than or
Speaker 1: felt inadequate, or felt inferior, you know. But then that
Speaker 1: wasn't good for me either, So I had to let
Speaker 1: go of that relationship. And now I can honestly tell
Speaker 1: you that I'm with someone that does allow me to
Speaker 1: be myself. You know. There have been times when he
Speaker 1: tells me, you know what I feel like, not not intimidated,
Speaker 1: but like where he feels am I enough for you?
Speaker 1: And he definitely is. But more than anything, he allows me.
Speaker 1: He loves that I am who I am. He wants
Speaker 1: me to be better. So it just feels good to
Speaker 1: have someone like that, like where I don't feel like
Speaker 1: I have to be less than or I either way
Speaker 1: like dimming my light? Now would you would you be
Speaker 1: with someone like that. Now. No, okay, now, now I
Speaker 1: know all right, Remember I deal with facts. I'm a
Speaker 1: son of an attorney. You don't ask me. Earlier you
Speaker 1: said to me, is this your faith? Is this your ship?
Speaker 1: Is this how it's always going to be? And I said,
Speaker 1: I got twenty cases. I know for a fact that
Speaker 1: you can change. And even before they talk to my
Speaker 1: big mouth as right, and you know you just did.
Speaker 1: You just factually confirmed it. I used to date that,
Speaker 1: but I don't do it. I would never do it
Speaker 1: now because I woke up. You woke up out of
Speaker 1: the matrix. I woke honestly in that aspect. Now, I'm like,
Speaker 1: the crazy ship is that? You're just you're confirming so
Speaker 1: many things. And I've never said this before, but but
Speaker 1: my mother was that a woman that for a long
Speaker 1: time I was in her shadow since I can remember,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, because she was just this
Speaker 1: huge force, and I always felt like, for a long time,
Speaker 1: I felt like my destiny was to be by her
Speaker 1: side and help her shine and build her up, and
Speaker 1: then one day would be my time. Never did I
Speaker 1: think she was going to pass. And then it was
Speaker 1: only until then that I was able to find the
Speaker 1: strength within myself to say, okay, let me step into
Speaker 1: my own light. For a long time, it was just
Speaker 1: and even even in the beginning of my of my career,
Speaker 1: it was difficult because it was the comparison like and
Speaker 1: it's taken a lot of work for people to be like, hey,
Speaker 1: it's me, it's Cheeky's like, don't look at my mom, like,
Speaker 1: don't compare me to her. We're two different individuals. But
Speaker 1: I feel like now, finally, especially with this new tour,
Speaker 1: this new album, I feel like more confident than ever,
Speaker 1: barely like where it's like I thought, but now I'm like,
Speaker 1: I think I got this by the balls. Now. You know, hey, listen,
Speaker 1: when your mom passes, that's a part of this greater
Speaker 1: I see that as a part of a greater plan
Speaker 1: of passing the baton, saying you're ready now to do
Speaker 1: your own thing. My job here is done. Now time
Speaker 1: for you to, you know, create your own path, not
Speaker 1: based on me. I'm passing the baton on to you.
Speaker 1: I've never said that before, and that's how I feel.
Speaker 1: I almost feel wrong with saying that, but I feel
Speaker 1: like if my mom and I were both here, I
Speaker 1: don't know, it's not the correct word is she wouldn't
Speaker 1: allow it. But I just feel like I wouldn't be
Speaker 1: doing what I'm doing if she was still here, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Maybe because she was such a
Speaker 1: huge force and she continues to be. Don't don't get
Speaker 1: me wrong, but I do feel like it's more like
Speaker 1: God said, Okay, well here, your mom's gonna go rest now,
Speaker 1: and we're going to allow you to do what you
Speaker 1: have to do. You know. But I've never said that
Speaker 1: out loud because I'm like, how the funk is that
Speaker 1: going to sound? But I've always felt it within me.
Speaker 1: You know, No, it's you love your mom. I mean,
Speaker 1: people love their moms. I love the hell out of her.
Speaker 1: So it has nothing to do with that. It's just
Speaker 1: that your journey, right, your journey needed we needed a transit.
Speaker 1: I called that the catalyst. And sometimes the catalyst comes,
Speaker 1: a person comes in your life, and sometimes someone leaves.
Speaker 1: But it's always a catalyst because it's a time frame
Speaker 1: in your life where you're ready for growth and and
Speaker 1: the universe kind of sets that up in a way,
Speaker 1: right and so and and that's part of the process.
Speaker 1: Now we talk about personality eleven and now eleven is
Speaker 1: it two? You can you can add eleven and becoming two.
Speaker 1: So we know that. But we but but master numbers, um,
Speaker 1: the eleven is the first master number because it's a
Speaker 1: double one. All the other mass numbers. You know, twenty
Speaker 1: two is two times eleven, you know, thirty three or
Speaker 1: three times eleven. So left we always we just added
Speaker 1: respect for the eleven. We just keep it. It's the
Speaker 1: original master number. You have that in your personality. Now
Speaker 1: eleven does rule the media. Okay, so we now know
Speaker 1: you have immediate we have immediate personality, inspirational, you have
Speaker 1: a certain dynamic quality to you, certain charisma may come
Speaker 1: through that to the eleven. People go and go online
Speaker 1: and read about the number eleven. You can run a
Speaker 1: level personality and all that kind of stuff, and you
Speaker 1: can see these are aspects of the eleven. Now we
Speaker 1: already have communications, right, and a powerful communication, and we
Speaker 1: have seven is dropping that knowledge and bringing your truth.
Speaker 1: And then we have a media like person Alley. Okay, Now,
Speaker 1: now am I supposed to be shocked that you're doing
Speaker 1: a podcast? You're communicating your knowledge and your truth right
Speaker 1: within the within the media context. Now I'll tell you
Speaker 1: something that's interesting that eleven personality gives a sort of
Speaker 1: dynamic quality to you, where the seven doesn't have that.
Speaker 1: The seven is the seven will nerd out on you,
Speaker 1: or get spiritual with you, or get deep with you,
Speaker 1: but they don't necessarily have a good personality. Yeah, the
Speaker 1: seven is ja and I feel like the eleven is cheeky.
Speaker 1: Those are my two different people. Yeah, yeah, the the
Speaker 1: leven will dramatize that, you know, the leven will inspire
Speaker 1: and and then you got a double five member five's
Speaker 1: fire and it's over and a shaker, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. A little a little little wacky, a little
Speaker 1: a little impulsive, a little how to how to learn,
Speaker 1: how to take this topsy turvy craziness, and and and
Speaker 1: and and discipline it. But but it's certainly got the
Speaker 1: magnetic powerful communication ability. This is why I said I wouldn't.
Speaker 1: I would have not have known necessarily you were you
Speaker 1: were a singer. I know that you're involved in communications.
Speaker 1: I know you'd be in the media. What you're doing
Speaker 1: now is more connected to those numbers that I see
Speaker 1: than anything. However, I know this, I know this one
Speaker 1: thing I know from being a musician and a writer, myself.
Speaker 1: You know that music is a you know, a media
Speaker 1: outlet that you can you can bring your truth to
Speaker 1: others through and you can communicate that to others. Right,
Speaker 1: it is communications. It is the media. You know, the
Speaker 1: lyrics in which you say you can bring you know,
Speaker 1: deeper meaning in it. But notice how you're doing a podcast, right,
Speaker 1: and now, how many singers do a podcast? Not very many.
Speaker 1: And the reason why it is is that we have
Speaker 1: straight communications and informational stuff going on here, you know, community,
Speaker 1: you know, communication industry, telling the truth, talking about a
Speaker 1: breaking it down in a communication environment through some media outlet.
Speaker 1: And we see that that is a proposed to your
Speaker 1: chart where just someone who was a straight singer wouldn't
Speaker 1: do that. You see how your chart shows this persolutely. Yes,
Speaker 1: it's crazy. Yes, you know. Now in music you can
Speaker 1: say something, but I mean you've got some real communication
Speaker 1: industry stuff. This is radio, this is TV, this is
Speaker 1: writing a book. You know, it's kind of like that,
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, oh my god, yeah, and that's what
Speaker 1: makes me so happy. Yeah, because why because you have
Speaker 1: an alternative. You were seven, You've you've got to share
Speaker 1: what you know, your truth offenders and you're gonna do
Speaker 1: it through the media, but you can you do it
Speaker 1: in maybe in an unconventional way, in a crazy way,
Speaker 1: and in an edgy way. You know that devil five.
Speaker 1: You know, even your even your inner drive is another five.
Speaker 1: You know. Now I'm going to say, when I see
Speaker 1: a fifty five and another five, say, okay, you know
Speaker 1: there might have been some excessiveness in some department in
Speaker 1: your life, impulsivity. You have to learn how to work,
Speaker 1: you know, definitely. All right. So now let's get to
Speaker 1: the deepest lesson of your chart, your ultimate goal, okay,
Speaker 1: your higher which is your higher purpose. Okay. And then
Speaker 1: and then we're gonna go back in time and we're
Speaker 1: gonna see how your your your life played out into
Speaker 1: those cycles, right right. So now here's the interesting thing
Speaker 1: about it is your ultimate goal number. All right. So
Speaker 1: let me make this clear what an eight is. Okay.
Speaker 1: Eight is a number of authority and power. It's it
Speaker 1: is a number of someone who builds their own empire,
Speaker 1: their own business. Okay, could be via communications, because we can't.
Speaker 1: We're not going to throw out the other four numbers.
Speaker 1: I'm saying, but all the stuff that you do needs
Speaker 1: to be put into building a business where you were
Speaker 1: you were the authority, where you were in charge, and
Speaker 1: you were creating success for yourself, but in the right way.
Speaker 1: And that's why I'm gonna get into what the right
Speaker 1: way is. So the thing about eight is psychologically it
Speaker 1: is always self worth self value as a lesson. So
Speaker 1: I can tell you right now that many people in
Speaker 1: this world who are extremely successful have had low self worth. Okay.
Speaker 1: Now a lot of people tell me, they're like, why
Speaker 1: is that, And they said, well, you have something to prove. Okay,
Speaker 1: you're driven to succeed, right to go beyond these feelings
Speaker 1: that you have right too to compensate for that for
Speaker 1: those soft worth concerns. Okay, you know, when you have
Speaker 1: an eight, you have to learn to value yourself that
Speaker 1: who you are is worthy. Yeah, And I got to
Speaker 1: tell you it's strange because you think, well, if someone's
Speaker 1: got self worth the US and they don't, they don't
Speaker 1: value themselves a way they should what they're worth. Of course,
Speaker 1: earlier in their life they're going to put themselves in
Speaker 1: compromise compromise situations. Mm hmm. Now you can do that
Speaker 1: and work, but you can do in relationships right where
Speaker 1: you are not treated as if you are valued. Okay, yes,
Speaker 1: now there's an interesting thing. It also rules the material
Speaker 1: world and finances and money. Okay, Now, if you have
Speaker 1: seventeen eight you know seven rules, that spiritual truth, that
Speaker 1: deep stuff, and then eight will is the money and
Speaker 1: the power and when it's coming together is a deep
Speaker 1: lesson that means is I call a love hate relationship
Speaker 1: with the money and power, and and that we have
Speaker 1: to think about what was going on growing up with
Speaker 1: the mentality the value system of your parents. Okay, where
Speaker 1: they came from, because you know, with eights you can
Speaker 1: go up or down. You know, as can can become
Speaker 1: extremely successful. But their background shows that they're learning how
Speaker 1: to have a spiritual relationship, a positive relationship with money
Speaker 1: and the material world and success. Because if you take
Speaker 1: straight eight, it's all about this success and it doesn't
Speaker 1: matter anything else. Okay, it's about it's about money and
Speaker 1: success and achievement. If you take just the seven, it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's about what I do is being feeding my soul.
Speaker 1: It's about doing something meaningful. It's about doing something that
Speaker 1: I use my my deeper talents for. It's not about
Speaker 1: how much money I make. It's not about the status
Speaker 1: and the success. Okay, yeah, your value has always just
Speaker 1: been you. In my past, I've struggled with with self worth.
Speaker 1: I mean it could come from everything that I lived
Speaker 1: through when I was younger and being you know, sexually
Speaker 1: abused by my father. You feel like what am I
Speaker 1: really worth? Like that really affects you, like your confidence
Speaker 1: as a young lady growing up. You feel dirty, You
Speaker 1: feel like you know so many things, like no one's
Speaker 1: gonna want me because I'm already quote unquote used in
Speaker 1: other words, you know what I mean. So all those
Speaker 1: things affected me so much, and then obviously losing my
Speaker 1: mom and having to like stand on my own two feet.
Speaker 1: And now this is why I feel like everything is
Speaker 1: just I feel so different. I don't even know how
Speaker 1: to explain it. I'm so glad I'm having this conversation
Speaker 1: with Josh because it's all just coming full circle for me.
Speaker 1: Like now i feel like I'm not going to put
Speaker 1: up with anyone ship. Now I'm going to speak my mind.
Speaker 1: Now I feel worthy. Now I have is here in
Speaker 1: my intro, That's what I say. She's here, I'm here,
Speaker 1: We're here to stay. Like Like now I'm like I'm
Speaker 1: worthy and I have to tell myself that a lot.
Speaker 1: I'm worthy, I am worthy of love, I am worthy
Speaker 1: of success, I am worthy of being financially stable. Like
Speaker 1: those are all affirmations that I tell myself on every day,
Speaker 1: because sometimes my past can come and try to seep
Speaker 1: into my future. Now, when we grow up with this,
Speaker 1: what's odd is this stuff can play out in relationships,
Speaker 1: and you think, well, how would that play out relationships?
Speaker 1: It does the people you check their self worth and
Speaker 1: their value system about what's important in life and how
Speaker 1: much they put on outer success and achievements and status
Speaker 1: things and stuff, and how much they put in the
Speaker 1: deeper stuff. Right, So the first thing we need to
Speaker 1: do is go back and talk about where your parents
Speaker 1: came from originally, what happened with their goals and success.
Speaker 1: Now you say your mother was a very successful person,
Speaker 1: kind of over shadowed by or some degree. Where'd your
Speaker 1: dad come from? Where your mom come from? What did
Speaker 1: they do? What was their focus in life? What was
Speaker 1: their system about money, success, achievement? What was your self
Speaker 1: worth level? Inside? Tell me about both of them where
Speaker 1: they came from. Okay, so my mother, she grew up
Speaker 1: I could say like poor, you know, what I mean.
Speaker 1: So she was very loved, had a very pretty and
Speaker 1: beautiful I think childhood. And then she always would say
Speaker 1: I was the ugly duckling and I was always just
Speaker 1: stuck in my books because boys didn't like me. And
Speaker 1: she was like, you know, ugly duck So she was
Speaker 1: top of her class, valutorian. And as she got older,
Speaker 1: she the reason she said that she started singing was
Speaker 1: because she wanted to feed her children, and think it
Speaker 1: just became a thing that didn't necessarily make her pent happy.
Speaker 1: It was something that just brought she was good at
Speaker 1: and brought her a lot of money in a way
Speaker 1: to take care of her children. But for her it
Speaker 1: was very much as far as money was I'm going
Speaker 1: to buy this house, I'm gonna have this car because
Speaker 1: I didn't have it when I was younger. It did
Speaker 1: make her feel very valuable. Oh my god. Okay, so
Speaker 1: just thank you for that. So well done. All right,
Speaker 1: So your mother, who had a huge impact on your life,
Speaker 1: had low self worth as a child. She actually thought
Speaker 1: she was ugly, and and she overcompensated by doing well
Speaker 1: in life in school to overcompensate, like get it into
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying what people are gonna like me.
Speaker 1: Boys aren'tna like people, So I better I better find
Speaker 1: something that I could be smart. So I'm gonna that'll
Speaker 1: be my success. And then later on in life she
Speaker 1: became a singer, and not for the joy of music necessarily,
Speaker 1: but to make money so she could have the things
Speaker 1: she didn't have when she was poor, which means her
Speaker 1: entire drive in life is the overcompensate for being the
Speaker 1: ugly poor child, so she can have the material things
Speaker 1: to make up for what she didn't have. Yeah, yep,
Speaker 1: oh my god, that's I know, I know, and I
Speaker 1: mean that's really deep. Yeah. And for her, for a
Speaker 1: long time, she she wanted to stop singing because it
Speaker 1: was it's a lot on your body. It's the touring
Speaker 1: in the late nights and stuff that it was just
Speaker 1: like I'm good at this, and she was just she's
Speaker 1: a monster in in in her genre, you know, and
Speaker 1: still is. So I think it just it was just
Speaker 1: the way of like, I'm tired, I don't know if
Speaker 1: I want to do something else, but this is what
Speaker 1: gives me that power, that financial stability, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. Um, And she loved buying those expensive things
Speaker 1: because it just in the diamonds and that, this and that,
Speaker 1: because she didn't have that when she was younger. So
Speaker 1: for her it did make her feel better like I'm successful.
Speaker 1: But I know in her heart, like there was there
Speaker 1: were a lot of things that she was sad about,
Speaker 1: you know, like when she was at home by herself
Speaker 1: and the conversations we had and stuff like that, you know,
Speaker 1: But externally she seemed like this very confident, strong woman,
Speaker 1: you know. And my dad, my dad, I don't you know.
Speaker 1: He he was also he was born in Mexico, so
Speaker 1: he came from a very poor family, like there was
Speaker 1: fifteen children. Um. He worked and he was in real estate.
Speaker 1: That's how him and my mom met, or actually now
Speaker 1: that's not how they met, but they worked in real
Speaker 1: estate together like earlier in life. Um, And I don't
Speaker 1: know too much about him, to be honest. He was
Speaker 1: just more of like a mellow type of dude that
Speaker 1: just say I'm making money, take care of my family
Speaker 1: sort of thing. What do you do? What kind of
Speaker 1: work do you do? He did real estate. That's all
Speaker 1: I ever knew that he did was just he was
Speaker 1: a real estate agent and he did he did fairly well.
Speaker 1: With that. You know, Um, now he's in jail. He's
Speaker 1: in jail for what he sexually molested me when when
Speaker 1: I was a little girl. I'm sorry to hear that. Um,
Speaker 1: it's okay. What was it like for him to have
Speaker 1: his wife blow up like that? I'm sure she made
Speaker 1: more money than he did. He Yes, she always did
Speaker 1: make more money. My mom, I'm telling you, was the
Speaker 1: you know, she was super super. He didn't want her
Speaker 1: to go to school for a long time. He didn't
Speaker 1: want her to finish high school, and she was just
Speaker 1: very adamant about it. She went to college, she had
Speaker 1: a good job. Um, and then when my mom wanted
Speaker 1: to start singing, that's when the problem started. You know.
Speaker 1: It was just like, no, you gotta stay at home
Speaker 1: with the kids. So he wasn't okay with that. So
Speaker 1: that's why they separated. Ultimately. You know, he cheated and
Speaker 1: stuff like that, but that was ultimately because he wasn't
Speaker 1: allowing my mom to do what she wanted to do. Okay,
Speaker 1: Now let's go back to the seventeen eight mm hmm.
Speaker 1: Overcome you know, change in financial status, overcompensating for low
Speaker 1: self worth. Making that your way of showing that you're
Speaker 1: worthy because you've got the external things. You've got the diamonds,
Speaker 1: you've got the material objects, you've got the car and
Speaker 1: all that. Right, Okay, but you still haven't healed a
Speaker 1: low self worth. I think it's amazing what your mom did.
Speaker 1: I don't get me wrong. I think it's incredible. She
Speaker 1: obviously was extremely talented. What I'm saying is he didn't
Speaker 1: heal her wound. She still had that sadness when you
Speaker 1: sit at the kitchen table and you're talking about that ship,
Speaker 1: the diamond rings and the fur coats, all that ship
Speaker 1: that she didn't have, growing enough that she thought, if
Speaker 1: I could have this, I can have the things that
Speaker 1: I don't have. It didn't fix that. You know. On
Speaker 1: top of that, your father didn't want her to work.
Speaker 1: Now you got to think about this. He's a man,
Speaker 1: he's a you know, he's a Latino man, right, and
Speaker 1: and the wife is making more money than him, you know,
Speaker 1: potentially yeah, yeah, and so what did do affect his
Speaker 1: self worth as a man? And he's now competing with her.
Speaker 1: He's not liking that he can't be the he can't
Speaker 1: be the breadwinner where he's unless she stops working and
Speaker 1: he's the soul breadwinner and then he can be the man. Right,
Speaker 1: So his self worth is being affected by that, by
Speaker 1: her success eclipsing him, and she's trying to control her.
Speaker 1: So it's all about her goals and outer success because
Speaker 1: that's affecting him negatively. Yeah, So it's self worth on
Speaker 1: his side, and it's about success and achievement being a
Speaker 1: point of contention that led to the demise of your
Speaker 1: parents relationship. Now you know why I say there's a
Speaker 1: lesson in that world that you might have a love
Speaker 1: hate relationship with money in power because money in power
Speaker 1: was the cause of so much pain and suffering growing up.
Speaker 1: My goodness, Yeah, do you see it? I absolutely do.
Speaker 1: And I've been dealing with this for the past two months,
Speaker 1: moving homes, having a big, bigger responsibility. And it's kind
Speaker 1: of like that song Biggie song, more money, more problems,
Speaker 1: you feel. And I don't like to look at money
Speaker 1: in that way at all, because I feel like it's
Speaker 1: a blessing, you know, And I try to look at
Speaker 1: money in a very positive way, no matter how it's
Speaker 1: affected my life in the past. Because people, when they
Speaker 1: have money and power, some people, not all people. Some
Speaker 1: people that aren't emotionally healthy will do certain things and
Speaker 1: hurt other people because they can because I have that
Speaker 1: financial stability and they're wealthy and they have that power.
Speaker 1: So anyways, that's a whole other subject, but it is
Speaker 1: so important for me that I take care of Like
Speaker 1: one time they told me at church to be a
Speaker 1: good steward, and I've struggled with that in my whole life.
Speaker 1: When it's like I have some money and instead of
Speaker 1: saving it, instead of making the right choices with it,
Speaker 1: I spend it on things that I don't really need,
Speaker 1: more luxuries, you know what I mean, Things that it's
Speaker 1: just like you know, like lomal Gasto, you know. And
Speaker 1: I feel like right now, God and the universe are
Speaker 1: teaching me a lesson of learning. Like if you have
Speaker 1: five dollars and we had an episode on this, you
Speaker 1: guys save three dollars of it, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: and spend two of it, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Like that's just a little example, but that's just kind
Speaker 1: of like the lesson that I feel I'm learning right now,
Speaker 1: because sometimes we don't know or appreciate the value of money.
Speaker 1: So you guys, remember save your money and then telling
Speaker 1: myself that too. Now, understand the timing in your life, right,
Speaker 1: m hm, you're in an eleven year. You have an
Speaker 1: eleven personality. You can google eleven. You can find out
Speaker 1: what eleven is. I mean, there's some standard mean a
Speaker 1: lot of stuff Internet's bullshit, but you know, but some
Speaker 1: of it's just basic stuff here that you can learn.
Speaker 1: So and eleven is is a cycle when you're going
Speaker 1: to have shifts of consciousness and awakenings and you're going
Speaker 1: to realize certain things. And now you have to think
Speaker 1: about the matrix. Now, what's the matrix going to say?
Speaker 1: You're gonna attract people in your life and you always
Speaker 1: got to check what is there value system and mentality? Okay,
Speaker 1: you want to be around successful people who do what
Speaker 1: they do because they love it, not just for the money,
Speaker 1: not to compensate, not to be all about the status.
Speaker 1: And also in business, who are you attracting? Who are
Speaker 1: you working with? You know? Are you are you getting
Speaker 1: a positive thing or a negative thing about business? You know?
Speaker 1: What are what's their mentality and their value system? And
Speaker 1: who's in control and who's the authority? Oh my god, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know. Now I don't know exactly what happened in
Speaker 1: your childhood. I never I never said I know everything.
Speaker 1: I mean, I know the basics of it. I know
Speaker 1: the dynamics. So I ask you know, I'm not a psychic.
Speaker 1: This is a mathematical formula. It gives me a blueprint
Speaker 1: of what might have happened and how that affected you.
Speaker 1: And I know for certain that we repeat whatever happened
Speaker 1: to us. So you've got to figure that out. And look,
Speaker 1: I've done twenty of these things, so you fear you
Speaker 1: learn kind of how it works. You're going to a
Speaker 1: major shift right now, change of mind, change of heart,
Speaker 1: reevaluation of your life. And I bet a million dollars
Speaker 1: that it's related to you maintaining your first of all,
Speaker 1: your identity and doing you. And number two, it has
Speaker 1: to do with your self worth, business, your your goals
Speaker 1: that you want to accomplish, and keeping your integrity or
Speaker 1: what you want to do and losing power and this
Speaker 1: kind of stuff and making sure that your pathway is
Speaker 1: in alignment with your value system. Oh yes, oh my goodness. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's absolutely what's going on. And it's been really pulling
Speaker 1: on the strings of my soul to the point where
Speaker 1: it gets me in a bad mood where I'm just like, wait,
Speaker 1: like I I'm very intuitive, I know, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I can't ignore this because it's later on the universe.
Speaker 1: Isn't a kickman? Yes, but that's exactly what's going on,
Speaker 1: absolutely right, And then you have to look at this.
Speaker 1: Am I going to do the programming and repeat the
Speaker 1: fact that that world symbolically related to your mother and
Speaker 1: your father? We went over that. I don't have to
Speaker 1: go over that. Do I have to repeat that pattern
Speaker 1: and play out that money's route all evil or business
Speaker 1: or all that whatever that ship is right? Or can
Speaker 1: I wake up out of the matrix and say, you
Speaker 1: know what, I'm going to make sure that my business
Speaker 1: turns out the right way. I'm going to make sure
Speaker 1: that I keep my integrity and that I work with
Speaker 1: those who do. I'm going to make sure that the
Speaker 1: truth and honesty and all that's going to be a
Speaker 1: part of this, and that I see myself as the
Speaker 1: manager of my own life because I'm my own authority
Speaker 1: and I'm going to have the self worth to say
Speaker 1: what I need and what I want. Yep, absolutely yes,
Speaker 1: even though my self worth got kicked in the ball
Speaker 1: sack growing up seeing all that ship. Yes, I know,
Speaker 1: but I I am adamant about making the changes necessary
Speaker 1: in my life. So this was honestly wonderful. It really
Speaker 1: did answer so many questions. It confirmed a lot of
Speaker 1: things for me, and I just I feel that, I mean,
Speaker 1: we can do this off of the podcast, right, I
Speaker 1: can have a session with you later. Yeah, you didn't
Speaker 1: get to doing those those magical cycles, because those are
Speaker 1: wild when you go back and you see how things
Speaker 1: played out during these certain number cycles. But I guess
Speaker 1: we don't have enough time for that today. Yeah, I know,
Speaker 1: but but it's okay. I do want to speak to you.
Speaker 1: I'm going to tell my producers, um for us to
Speaker 1: I would love to have your numbers so I can
Speaker 1: have a session with you. Have a lot of questions, um,
Speaker 1: you know, but but I'm honestly you guys, I'm in
Speaker 1: like all right now, my mouth is open. I have
Speaker 1: I feel like I want to cry, but of excitement
Speaker 1: because I'm just like, oh my gosh, I feel like
Speaker 1: I can rest with so many things. It's just it's
Speaker 1: hard to explain because I feel like I would have
Speaker 1: to get in into detail. But either way, Josh, thank
Speaker 1: you so much. I am so grateful. You are definitely
Speaker 1: gifted and and what it is that you do because
Speaker 1: the thing is, yes, I know you said this is
Speaker 1: very factual and everything and like it. It's all connected,
Speaker 1: but you are also very intuitive. It all goes together.
Speaker 1: So and Josh, I don't know if you want to
Speaker 1: share your social media or a website where people can
Speaker 1: find you. Yeah, so, I mean the websites you know,
Speaker 1: Josh code. My Instagram is at Numerology, Josh at Numerology Josh.
Speaker 1: And today's motivational quote is I wasn't ready for half
Speaker 1: the ship I went through, but clearly I'm built for it.
Speaker 1: That's what Numerology says. Guys, were built for the stuff
Speaker 1: that we're meant to go through. We get out of
Speaker 1: it again. You guys, Loso, thank you for being with
Speaker 1: me on Chickens and Chill. I will you know catch
Speaker 1: you next Monday. Pall y'all, and guys, I want to
Speaker 1: let you know there's a brand new way for us
Speaker 1: to keep in touch. You can now leave me voice
Speaker 1: memos directly through the I heart radio app. Just click
Speaker 1: the microphone at the top of the Cheeks and Chill
Speaker 1: podcast on page within the I Heart Radio app, and
Speaker 1: if you don't already have the app, you can download
Speaker 1: it for free. Your questions and comments could be featured
Speaker 1: in a future episode, so cool free to tell me
Speaker 1: what's on your own. This is a production of I
Speaker 1: Heart Radio and my Coueldura podcast Network. Follow us on
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