WEBVTT - EP 460: From Porn to the Pulpit (feat. Apostle Danielle Williams-McCord) 0:00:01.560 --> 0:00:04.600 When I got there, dancing was not a part of 0:00:04.640 --> 0:00:07.440 the plan. She was basically like, dancing, ain't it. If 0:00:07.440 --> 0:00:09.399 you want to see some real money, you gotta you know, 0:00:09.840 --> 0:00:11.560 you're gonna have to sell that thing. And so my 0:00:11.680 --> 0:00:15.440 choir member from my church was like, yeah, we're not dancing. 0:00:15.480 --> 0:00:16.400 We're from the be Hoes. 0:00:17.000 --> 0:00:19.360 We had sex one time and I got pregnant at 0:00:19.400 --> 0:00:22.560 thirteen by the twenty seven year old pimp. I hid 0:00:22.560 --> 0:00:24.840 my pregnancy until I was six and a half months 0:00:24.880 --> 0:00:28.240 pregnant and my water broke. I went from school to 0:00:28.320 --> 0:00:30.440 the ambulance to the hospital, where I gave birth to 0:00:30.480 --> 0:00:33.879 my first son, who died in my arms because he 0:00:33.960 --> 0:00:34.720 was premature. 0:00:35.240 --> 0:00:37.240 And that's when things kind of took aod turn. 0:00:38.520 --> 0:00:39.240 Thirteen go. 0:00:40.600 --> 0:00:51.400 Yeah, it's the decisions, decisions, all right. 0:00:51.440 --> 0:00:52.960 I know this is funny, but let me just preg 0:00:53.040 --> 0:00:55.600 real quick before we do it. No, no, because we're 0:00:55.600 --> 0:00:56.600 gonna have fun, but we will no. 0:00:56.600 --> 0:00:59.960 No, okay, no, this is how we started. 0:01:00.240 --> 0:01:00.840 So let's pray. 0:01:01.320 --> 0:01:03.320 Okay, okay, okay. Let me tell you. We haven't held 0:01:03.320 --> 0:01:06.680 hands in whoa if ever whoa. 0:01:07.040 --> 0:01:10.240 Wow, Lord, we thank you, we honor you, we give 0:01:10.280 --> 0:01:11.280 your name, glory, thank you. 0:01:11.319 --> 0:01:13.440 For this platform. Thank you for this opportunity. 0:01:13.600 --> 0:01:16.120 We come against any distractions, we come against any flaws, 0:01:16.120 --> 0:01:17.720 and we just asked God that you would just give 0:01:17.800 --> 0:01:20.199 us the right answers and the right responses. We pray 0:01:20.240 --> 0:01:22.560 for the viewers that somebody will laugh, but they will 0:01:22.560 --> 0:01:25.920 also be transformed, healed, and delivered through this as well. 0:01:26.200 --> 0:01:29.480 Bless these hosts as they continue to bring laughter, information, 0:01:30.240 --> 0:01:32.280 entertainment in Jesus name. 0:01:32.319 --> 0:01:34.400 Amen, hallello, you amen. 0:01:34.440 --> 0:01:40.200 But also I heard hoes no host, I heard said host. 0:01:40.640 --> 0:01:43.840 Oh oh, we both hold on. We both hold on. 0:01:44.160 --> 0:01:47.560 I heard hose by the way, hello host, hold on 0:01:48.000 --> 0:01:48.800 the audience. 0:01:49.880 --> 0:01:52.200 By the way, we hold a his you said Hose. 0:01:52.280 --> 0:01:53.040 We both looked at you. 0:01:53.080 --> 0:01:53.560 All the fight. 0:01:54.080 --> 0:01:57.960 We both looked at each other like, h we need 0:01:58.000 --> 0:02:02.760 to I mean, but okay. 0:02:02.480 --> 0:02:05.960 First of all, right, heel Now, I know y'all are 0:02:06.200 --> 0:02:10.160 looking at your phone, looking at the TV screen, looking 0:02:10.200 --> 0:02:14.040 at your laptop like, did I tune into the correct 0:02:14.360 --> 0:02:15.440 podcast this week? 0:02:16.040 --> 0:02:21.320 Y'all, welcome hallelujah to another episode Decisions. 0:02:21.880 --> 0:02:23.160 By the way, they say, I sound like a black 0:02:23.200 --> 0:02:25.639 past all the time, so welcome air. 0:02:25.480 --> 0:02:28.000 About it to Decisions. Decisions. I'm your girl, Mandy b. 0:02:30.120 --> 0:02:30.160 We. 0:02:31.240 --> 0:02:36.640 I'm her co host Wheezy, And before we start this 0:02:36.680 --> 0:02:39.760 week's episode, I do want to give a trigger warning 0:02:40.680 --> 0:02:42.600 only because we are going to be talking about some 0:02:43.120 --> 0:02:46.520 deep topics that may trigger the listeners. So anyone who 0:02:46.520 --> 0:02:56.480 may be triggered from any conversations around sexual assault, sexual harassment, survival, sex, 0:02:56.639 --> 0:03:00.960 sex trafficking, please just proceed with the episode with caution. 0:03:01.280 --> 0:03:04.480 All right, now, I do have a little introduction for 0:03:04.600 --> 0:03:05.680 who our host is. 0:03:06.200 --> 0:03:06.440 Now. 0:03:07.160 --> 0:03:09.080 I use my husband to help me with this, so 0:03:09.240 --> 0:03:10.960 if he forgot something, let me know. 0:03:11.280 --> 0:03:13.800 My husband is chet Chipet. I know. 0:03:13.960 --> 0:03:18.280 Don't judge me, dang, ain't no judging in the pole pit. Okay, 0:03:18.800 --> 0:03:22.880 So today y'all we are a joel pit. That's see, 0:03:23.120 --> 0:03:25.040 look at you the pink keep going. 0:03:25.120 --> 0:03:26.720 Get you all right, y'all? 0:03:26.760 --> 0:03:32.600 Today today Baby, we all joined by Apostle Danielle Williams Record, 0:03:32.639 --> 0:03:36.640 a dynamic voice in faith leadership and spiritual empowerment. Apostle 0:03:36.680 --> 0:03:40.760 Danielle is known for her unwavering commitment to God's truth, 0:03:41.120 --> 0:03:43.880 her passion for healing and restoration, and her heart for people, 0:03:43.960 --> 0:03:48.920 especially women, walking into wholeness and purpose through her ministry, teaching, 0:03:49.080 --> 0:03:52.280 and prophetic insights. She challenges believers to grow deeper in 0:03:52.400 --> 0:03:53.800 faith while living. 0:03:53.560 --> 0:03:55.240 Authentically and boldly. 0:03:55.480 --> 0:03:59.040 She is also the author of From Pouring to the Pulpit, 0:03:59.280 --> 0:04:02.680 which is most recently been turned into a stage play 0:04:02.960 --> 0:04:04.600 and is traveling the country. 0:04:04.840 --> 0:04:07.960 I book listen. 0:04:07.840 --> 0:04:09.960 Because even just flipping through the pages, I was like, 0:04:10.000 --> 0:04:12.520 this is juice juicey, just like your story. 0:04:12.560 --> 0:04:15.920 Welcome, can we okay? Thank you? 0:04:16.440 --> 0:04:18.520 I'll tell her husband he did a good child girl, 0:04:18.800 --> 0:04:21.680 because he liked words of information that crosses. 0:04:21.279 --> 0:04:23.800 In the ear. It is you have those and you 0:04:23.800 --> 0:04:26.920 shouldn't even be wearing them. You know what. I am 0:04:26.960 --> 0:04:29.680 a child of God. He is here for me all 0:04:29.680 --> 0:04:30.040 the time. 0:04:30.400 --> 0:04:35.480 Now let's get into a little bit about you. So, y'all, 0:04:35.520 --> 0:04:38.039 this is a whole episode. We listen and we do 0:04:38.120 --> 0:04:40.400 not judge. Now, Me and Weezy judge our friends all 0:04:40.400 --> 0:04:43.120 the time. But we're gonna come in not judging because 0:04:43.160 --> 0:04:46.000 I think that your story is different. 0:04:46.160 --> 0:04:47.120 It should be told. 0:04:47.600 --> 0:04:51.839 And I think being a woman from a religious background 0:04:51.839 --> 0:04:54.240 and from the church, where there is a lot of 0:04:54.279 --> 0:04:56.920 shame in truth, there is a lot of shame in 0:04:57.360 --> 0:05:00.600 life experience, especially for women. I love the you are 0:05:00.640 --> 0:05:02.360 so brave in sharing it. 0:05:02.400 --> 0:05:06.200 And being like, this is me. I can't imagine just 0:05:06.320 --> 0:05:08.640 sharing it, getting to a point where you felt comfortable 0:05:08.680 --> 0:05:10.000 to share it, because I know that you must have 0:05:10.000 --> 0:05:11.520 said the title of this book to somebody and they 0:05:11.560 --> 0:05:13.120 were like, are you insane? Absolutely? 0:05:13.680 --> 0:05:16.320 Ultimately, it took a long time to get bold enough 0:05:16.320 --> 0:05:16.880 to talk about it. 0:05:16.880 --> 0:05:18.600 Who wakes up and says, hey, how you doing? My 0:05:18.640 --> 0:05:21.080 name Danielle used to be a whole you know, like, 0:05:21.680 --> 0:05:21.960 you know. 0:05:22.000 --> 0:05:24.440 Have we introduced ourselves like alpha? You know, I feel 0:05:24.440 --> 0:05:26.080 like that's an alcoholic anonymous like. 0:05:27.279 --> 0:05:31.040 Especially in church and in the combinements of empowerment groups 0:05:31.040 --> 0:05:33.080 and things like that. It took a minute for me 0:05:33.120 --> 0:05:34.560 to be able to get to the point that I'm 0:05:34.600 --> 0:05:34.960 at now. 0:05:35.200 --> 0:05:37.839 Oh but you really don't introduce yourself like that, do you. 0:05:38.360 --> 0:05:40.240 I mean, it's straight to the point, from Poorn to 0:05:40.279 --> 0:05:42.440 the Pool, but I wanted it to be self explanatory, 0:05:42.560 --> 0:05:43.200 right to the point. 0:05:43.240 --> 0:05:45.200 I don't want to come with those saved title. 0:05:45.320 --> 0:05:47.039 No church type people just look at that and put 0:05:47.040 --> 0:05:49.240 that down from Poorn to the Pool, It's gonna catch 0:05:49.240 --> 0:05:51.760 your attention and it's literally my did you have? 0:05:51.880 --> 0:05:56.280 Like okay? Because it seems now even being a pastor 0:05:56.360 --> 0:05:58.719 like you're still fun, You're still sexy, So like there's 0:05:58.720 --> 0:06:01.440 still some of that personality when you were doing porn. 0:06:02.040 --> 0:06:04.200 Did you give church you girl? Not at all? 0:06:05.000 --> 0:06:08.000 Okay, so that personality now I ain't giving you you 0:06:08.040 --> 0:06:11.719 feel like you Okay. Now I do want to start 0:06:11.839 --> 0:06:15.640 off then with your backstory, like how early did you 0:06:15.720 --> 0:06:18.720 were you raised in the church, Like what what is 0:06:18.760 --> 0:06:21.520 your early relationship with the church? 0:06:21.560 --> 0:06:26.800 Specifically, I do not have any recollection of my parents 0:06:26.839 --> 0:06:30.080 taking me to church. Mother or my father did not 0:06:30.160 --> 0:06:32.080 take me to church. It was my grandparents. They gave 0:06:32.120 --> 0:06:34.560 me God. Okay, they gave me God. 0:06:34.920 --> 0:06:36.280 And so what did that look like? 0:06:36.440 --> 0:06:38.880 At what age did you start start going to the church, 0:06:38.880 --> 0:06:40.280 because that's where this all started. 0:06:40.480 --> 0:06:43.080 By the way, y'all are going to be surprised that baby, 0:06:43.160 --> 0:06:45.560 it was really from the pulpit to port to the pulpit. 0:06:45.839 --> 0:06:46.360 H uh huh. 0:06:46.720 --> 0:06:48.280 So let's talk about it. Okay. 0:06:48.400 --> 0:06:51.839 So prior to me in church, I had started in 0:06:51.839 --> 0:06:52.440 the strip club. 0:06:53.000 --> 0:06:56.280 Okay, yes, literally, Okay. 0:06:56.560 --> 0:06:59.560 So before I got with my grandparents and really got 0:07:00.240 --> 0:07:02.920 rooted and grounded into the church, I was out of 0:07:02.960 --> 0:07:05.880 control team straight out of Compton, you know, all of 0:07:05.920 --> 0:07:09.080 the things. But I had been molested and raped at 0:07:09.080 --> 0:07:11.360 a very young age, eight years old. It started with 0:07:11.400 --> 0:07:15.280 the molestation by my babysitter son. Our black community, our 0:07:15.320 --> 0:07:17.560 brown and black community, they don't really talk about mental 0:07:17.600 --> 0:07:21.440 health stuff. But my father was diagnosed with bipolar disorder 0:07:21.440 --> 0:07:23.560 and schizophrenia, and he tried to kill me when I 0:07:23.640 --> 0:07:25.320 was ten. He tried to drown me in a bathtub. 0:07:25.680 --> 0:07:27.400 He beat me halfway to death and then tried to 0:07:27.440 --> 0:07:29.520 draw me in a bathtub. I kind of bounced from 0:07:29.520 --> 0:07:31.640 family member to family member and. 0:07:31.560 --> 0:07:33.200 He was having an episode when it happened. 0:07:34.280 --> 0:07:36.600 Ended up in LA with my mom, and we had 0:07:36.600 --> 0:07:39.880 a neighbor, you know that family friend who ended up 0:07:39.960 --> 0:07:42.640 invited me into his home and he raped me when 0:07:42.680 --> 0:07:43.400 I was twelve. 0:07:44.320 --> 0:07:46.800 You're at eight ten and twelve. 0:07:46.360 --> 0:07:50.640 Eight ten and twelve, and also you spoke with no 0:07:50.760 --> 0:07:54.040 one at this age about any of this that had happened. 0:07:53.720 --> 0:07:56.720 Like because you led with It's really hard. 0:07:56.520 --> 0:07:58.880 Within the black community to speak about mental health things 0:07:58.880 --> 0:08:00.480 that we go through, and a lot of that stuff 0:08:01.040 --> 0:08:04.720 is brushed under the rug. Unfortunately for so many women 0:08:04.800 --> 0:08:08.240 and boys, right or girls and boys. So eight ten 0:08:08.280 --> 0:08:11.080 and twelve, no one kind of came to your rescue 0:08:11.160 --> 0:08:12.920 during these things taking place. 0:08:13.560 --> 0:08:18.560 No, So, at eight and at twelve, an abuser's objective 0:08:18.600 --> 0:08:21.280 is to instill fear. So the babysitter son, So I 0:08:21.320 --> 0:08:24.040 was eight, he was like fourteen when I was twelve. 0:08:24.120 --> 0:08:26.360 This was like a forty plus yr old neighbor. So 0:08:26.960 --> 0:08:29.720 their their jobs to instill fear, make you feel like 0:08:29.720 --> 0:08:32.040 nobody's gonna believe you, or if you tell I'm gonna 0:08:32.040 --> 0:08:33.920 do this or I'm gonna do that. So I had 0:08:34.400 --> 0:08:37.280 I was scared to say something, so I didn't say anything. 0:08:38.240 --> 0:08:40.080 Even when my dad trying to kill me. I think 0:08:40.080 --> 0:08:42.440 I went to They took me to like therapy once 0:08:42.559 --> 0:08:44.920 or twice and then it was like, Okay, it's over with. 0:08:45.200 --> 0:08:45.760 So I didn't. 0:08:45.800 --> 0:08:48.800 I never got the proper helpe that I really should 0:08:48.800 --> 0:08:50.920 have got through the eight, ten, and twelve. 0:08:51.400 --> 0:08:53.760 So when you were going through these experiences and you 0:08:53.800 --> 0:08:55.760 said you ended up going to was it another family 0:08:55.800 --> 0:08:58.240 member's house? That's when God was introduced to you. 0:08:58.320 --> 0:09:02.160 No, wow, So much trauma happened before I finally found 0:09:02.160 --> 0:09:07.680 my piece. Okay, Yeah, So twelve thirteen in La standing 0:09:07.720 --> 0:09:09.680 at the bus stop waiting for my bus to come 0:09:09.720 --> 0:09:11.200 on fig on figure roller. 0:09:11.280 --> 0:09:13.319 Oh wow, I know what happens on Figeah. 0:09:13.640 --> 0:09:16.480 And this guy pulled up and he was the finest 0:09:16.520 --> 0:09:18.280 thing I ever seen in my life. He pulled up 0:09:18.320 --> 0:09:20.200 in like this gold LEXI said, I was like eugh, 0:09:22.679 --> 0:09:23.400 and he got. 0:09:23.240 --> 0:09:23.640 Off the car. 0:09:23.720 --> 0:09:25.680 He tried to talk to me whatever, and I'm young 0:09:25.720 --> 0:09:29.240 and dumb at thirteen years old. He's twenty seven, twenty seven. 0:09:29.360 --> 0:09:31.240 Found out he was a pimp trying to pimp me. 0:09:32.000 --> 0:09:34.839 I didn't know that at that wasn't the introduction. I'm 0:09:34.920 --> 0:09:37.400 just thinking, I'm a young girl. This cute older guy 0:09:37.520 --> 0:09:40.360 is interested. We had sex one time and I got 0:09:40.400 --> 0:09:42.880 pregnant at thirteen by the twenty seven year old pimp. 0:09:43.679 --> 0:09:45.880 I hid my pregnancy until I was six and a 0:09:45.920 --> 0:09:49.080 half months pregnant and my water broke. I went from 0:09:49.160 --> 0:09:51.640 school to the ambulance to the hospital, where I gave 0:09:51.679 --> 0:09:55.000 birth to my first son, who died in my arms 0:09:55.080 --> 0:09:58.120 because he was premature. And that's when things kind of 0:09:58.160 --> 0:10:00.680 took a turn. When you say birth, I gave birth, 0:10:00.760 --> 0:10:01.679 had to push him. 0:10:01.960 --> 0:10:06.120 Eg topic pregnancy no no, no no, So. 0:10:06.120 --> 0:10:08.680 What is it when it's still still no? 0:10:08.679 --> 0:10:08.800 No? 0:10:08.920 --> 0:10:13.880 He was alive, just premature and then and didn't make it. 0:10:13.800 --> 0:10:15.839 Pass didn't make it past. There you go, can make 0:10:15.880 --> 0:10:16.640 it pass. 0:10:17.000 --> 0:10:24.839 And going back to what you said thirteen, Yeah, going back, 0:10:24.920 --> 0:10:29.280 wow said eight, ten, twelve, now thirteen, trauma after trauma 0:10:29.440 --> 0:10:33.880 after trauma with no proper therapy or help or anybody 0:10:33.960 --> 0:10:36.520 older to try to mentor me and help me through that. 0:10:36.880 --> 0:10:38.360 So my mind just kind of. 0:10:38.480 --> 0:10:40.320 Who did you hide your pregnancy from? Who are you 0:10:40.320 --> 0:10:42.839 living with? My mom? Wow? 0:10:43.960 --> 0:10:47.320 So she after leaving your dad, you also felt like 0:10:47.720 --> 0:10:49.440 wasn't someone that you could speak to. 0:10:49.920 --> 0:10:52.840 No, Okay, And I want to touch on that because 0:10:52.880 --> 0:10:55.040 I think a lot of young girls we go through 0:10:55.559 --> 0:10:58.439 this thing with our moms sometimes. 0:10:57.840 --> 0:11:00.760 And now she's my bestie, Now that's my I mean. 0:11:00.840 --> 0:11:02.840 I hid my period for a year from my mom. 0:11:03.120 --> 0:11:03.600 Yeah. 0:11:03.640 --> 0:11:08.560 So it's weird because I also don't know how, especially 0:11:08.559 --> 0:11:11.319 like with so many of my friends now being mothers. 0:11:11.679 --> 0:11:15.120 It's almost like there is no teaching or right way 0:11:15.200 --> 0:11:18.120 or blueprint for you to gain that trust and safety 0:11:18.160 --> 0:11:19.640 net with your daughter all the time. 0:11:19.760 --> 0:11:21.840 It's very difficult. Yes, it is, it is. 0:11:22.160 --> 0:11:25.400 And so just at thirteen, there still wasn't that you 0:11:25.400 --> 0:11:26.760 didn't feel like you could go to your mom. 0:11:26.920 --> 0:11:29.360 I couldn't tell her, Hey, I'm pregnant, Like I just 0:11:29.400 --> 0:11:30.120 couldn't it. 0:11:30.160 --> 0:11:31.439 The words could never come. 0:11:31.480 --> 0:11:32.599 I don't know if I could have a mom that 0:11:32.760 --> 0:11:36.000 cool at thirteen to even be like it's hard to 0:11:36.160 --> 0:11:37.560 when you know what I want to go back to, 0:11:37.720 --> 0:11:41.400 like just thinking and I'm curious now, especially in the 0:11:41.440 --> 0:11:44.640 era of like the fsceine file, like I love Deepak 0:11:44.720 --> 0:11:47.160 Choufe and just found out he was making poems about 0:11:47.160 --> 0:11:49.440 his lust for little girls. So it's like all of 0:11:49.480 --> 0:11:52.720 our faiths are just going away, right, I mean, for example, 0:11:52.800 --> 0:11:55.240 it could be something like I think jay Z is 0:11:55.240 --> 0:11:56.439 on a list because he was on the list for 0:11:56.480 --> 0:12:00.319 a party, right, everybody has a different type of party, 0:12:00.360 --> 0:12:02.000 or mom Donnie the mayor of New York because Mom 0:12:02.080 --> 0:12:04.920 went to a film screening of something, so like anybody 0:12:04.920 --> 0:12:07.480 could be connected. And then there's the ones who were 0:12:07.520 --> 0:12:10.600 actually having sex with little girls. What were some of 0:12:10.640 --> 0:12:13.760 the things that you remember him saying to you, like 0:12:13.880 --> 0:12:16.679 the pimp? Yeah, OK. Are there any things that when 0:12:16.760 --> 0:12:18.960 you were in the car or when you guys met 0:12:19.120 --> 0:12:22.000 that acknowledged maybe your age or he knew your age, 0:12:22.120 --> 0:12:23.920 or was there something that he was. 0:12:23.920 --> 0:12:26.160 Saying you did me talking about this twenty seven year old 0:12:26.240 --> 0:12:26.679 knew she. 0:12:26.720 --> 0:12:28.839 Was underage, of course, a thirteen year old. 0:12:28.880 --> 0:12:30.320 I just want to know what he said to you, 0:12:30.400 --> 0:12:34.680 specifically to where you knew he knew you were thirteen. 0:12:35.720 --> 0:12:37.680 I don't think he knew I was thirteen. He knew 0:12:37.679 --> 0:12:40.199 I was underage, like sixteen. I think I'm gonna said 0:12:40.200 --> 0:12:42.880 I'm sixteen, fifteen, sixteen. Either way, he knew I was 0:12:42.920 --> 0:12:45.120 a minor. Yeah, I just don't think he knew that 0:12:45.200 --> 0:12:48.320 I was that young until I got pregnant. When I 0:12:48.360 --> 0:12:51.160 got pregnant, the first thing was I told him and 0:12:51.240 --> 0:12:54.560 he the first option was abortion. So I think that's 0:12:54.600 --> 0:12:57.240 when the conversation about my age came up, because he's like, well, 0:12:57.240 --> 0:12:58.760 six if you're sixteen, you can go to here by 0:12:58.800 --> 0:13:03.000 your son, California. I get sixteen by yourself. And I 0:13:03.040 --> 0:13:05.640 think that's when it came out, well, I'm not sixteen, 0:13:05.720 --> 0:13:09.040 I'm thirteen. And then I said so he was like thirteen. 0:13:09.120 --> 0:13:11.120 I'm like yeah. So he was like, I said, so 0:13:11.160 --> 0:13:11.880 you have to take me. 0:13:11.920 --> 0:13:14.120 You're gonna have to play the brother, the uncle, you 0:13:14.240 --> 0:13:16.839 like to do something, and he said okay, but he 0:13:16.920 --> 0:13:20.040 never showed up. And so at that point I was 0:13:20.080 --> 0:13:23.360 still early in the pregnancy. But when he didn't show up. 0:13:23.559 --> 0:13:26.840 I just thirteen. I thought out of sight. 0:13:26.720 --> 0:13:28.920 Out of mind. If I don't acknowledge it, it's gonna 0:13:28.920 --> 0:13:29.319 go away. 0:13:29.440 --> 0:13:32.920 Oh my god, we're so dumb? Are we dumb? Literally? 0:13:33.000 --> 0:13:35.880 Like, we're so dumb? So then, at what point was 0:13:35.920 --> 0:13:38.400 your mom aware of your pregnancy. 0:13:37.960 --> 0:13:39.360 When they called her and when I was in labor? 0:13:40.640 --> 0:13:42.840 Your mom found out when you were in labor? 0:13:42.960 --> 0:13:45.560 Mother and my grandparents because I tried to leave the 0:13:45.559 --> 0:13:47.720 hospital while I was in labor because the time was going. 0:13:47.800 --> 0:13:49.520 Mind you, my water broke at school. 0:13:50.040 --> 0:13:52.400 So I'm like, all right, I've been here a couple hours, 0:13:52.440 --> 0:13:54.280 it's getting late that the street lights are coming on. 0:13:55.200 --> 0:13:56.880 With that man in your head when the water broke, 0:13:56.880 --> 0:13:59.679 did you knew you were going to the labor? I 0:14:00.280 --> 0:14:00.760 don't know. 0:14:00.920 --> 0:14:02.520 I don't think I knew the severity because I was 0:14:02.520 --> 0:14:04.720 trying to go home, Like I literally. 0:14:06.480 --> 0:14:08.440 In your head, what were you thinking, like, I'm gonna 0:14:08.440 --> 0:14:09.240 give it up for adoption. 0:14:09.480 --> 0:14:11.440 Yeah, I'm just gonna leave it at the hospital, go home, 0:14:11.480 --> 0:14:13.120 and then come back the next day and figure it out. 0:14:13.200 --> 0:14:18.960 Yep, that sounds like, yeah, I'm gonna go home. Not 0:14:19.080 --> 0:14:21.120 crashed the car, but I hit my parents' car. When 0:14:21.160 --> 0:14:24.000 I took it out at thirteen, I'm ever thinking it's okay, 0:14:24.240 --> 0:14:26.520 it's on the right side. My mom enters from the 0:14:26.600 --> 0:14:29.320 left side. By the time I find somebody, I'm gonna 0:14:29.320 --> 0:14:31.680 take my dad's check with sun the way. 0:14:31.480 --> 0:14:37.080 You it's the process get to cortex is not even there. 0:14:37.560 --> 0:14:39.560 Okay, So she found that out. 0:14:39.800 --> 0:14:43.120 You have the baby, Do you remain in this relationship 0:14:43.240 --> 0:14:46.200 with the pimp? Because now also your mom is a 0:14:46.240 --> 0:14:48.800 ha is your mom now aware clearly of the baby, 0:14:48.840 --> 0:14:50.040 but the relationship and who. 0:14:50.000 --> 0:14:50.640 You have it with. 0:14:51.040 --> 0:14:54.600 I think I concealed his age, Okay I did. I 0:14:54.600 --> 0:14:57.600 don't think I told how old he was, nor that 0:14:57.680 --> 0:14:58.360 he was a pimp. 0:14:58.560 --> 0:15:00.760 Were y'all sleeping together while you're pre I. 0:15:00.680 --> 0:15:01.600 Had sex with this man? 0:15:03.520 --> 0:15:03.800 Wow? 0:15:04.280 --> 0:15:07.120 All of this because when I got pregnant, he was like, 0:15:07.200 --> 0:15:09.400 let's get the abortion. Then when he didn't show up, 0:15:09.440 --> 0:15:14.280 he said, well, just have the baby. I'll take care 0:15:14.320 --> 0:15:17.560 of you while you're pregnant. But once you had a baby, 0:15:17.720 --> 0:15:19.560 you're gonna have to get on the blade. 0:15:19.720 --> 0:15:22.600 What is on the trail? 0:15:22.880 --> 0:15:24.880 Yes, you go, I'm gonna take care of you while 0:15:24.880 --> 0:15:27.720 you pregnant. You had a baby, and then you're gonna 0:15:27.760 --> 0:15:28.240 have to get the. 0:15:28.200 --> 0:15:30.120 Work because you you a bottom bitch. 0:15:30.000 --> 0:15:33.200 Now at this point, yeah, yeah, I said no, no, no, 0:15:33.520 --> 0:15:35.400 I said no, And it was funny that I said. 0:15:35.480 --> 0:15:37.280 I had enough sense to say no to him, but 0:15:37.320 --> 0:15:39.000 not to the girl that introduced me to that. 0:15:39.280 --> 0:15:40.240 So you. 0:15:43.440 --> 0:15:47.360 Or or we also tie, we don't. We don't. 0:15:47.520 --> 0:15:51.320 A lot of times tie harm to women as a woman, 0:15:51.440 --> 0:15:54.000 especially young, especially if they become friends, Like you don't 0:15:54.000 --> 0:15:56.360 think a friend is gonna put you into some shit, 0:15:56.920 --> 0:15:59.040 so the baby doesn't make it. 0:15:59.240 --> 0:15:59.920 You're thirteen. 0:16:00.400 --> 0:16:04.200 Let's fast forward a little bit too, this introduction and 0:16:04.320 --> 0:16:06.280 who it was, where it was, because it was in 0:16:06.280 --> 0:16:10.760 the church, absolutely, So yeah, let's get to you are a. 0:16:10.720 --> 0:16:14.360 Stripper when you started strip? 0:16:14.560 --> 0:16:17.160 So I ran away after the baby. I just ran away. 0:16:17.320 --> 0:16:19.760 Rebellion kicked in. My mom is like, how did you 0:16:19.800 --> 0:16:21.560 have all these questions? I don't want to talk. 0:16:21.600 --> 0:16:24.360 I'm mad. I run away, get a fake ID, run 0:16:24.400 --> 0:16:25.360 away with another pimp. 0:16:26.400 --> 0:16:27.200 Did you know he was? 0:16:27.680 --> 0:16:28.680 I didn't at first. 0:16:29.000 --> 0:16:31.480 But the difference between him and the baby dad was 0:16:31.560 --> 0:16:33.320 he didn't force me or try to get me to 0:16:33.360 --> 0:16:33.600 do it. 0:16:33.640 --> 0:16:34.240 He offered. 0:16:34.360 --> 0:16:34.920 I was like, no. 0:16:35.840 --> 0:16:37.840 The problem with him was this is where the strip 0:16:37.880 --> 0:16:40.600 club came in, he was like, mister what they said, 0:16:40.600 --> 0:16:43.280 doctor Jeko, mister high. He was really nice when he 0:16:43.360 --> 0:16:45.080 was sober, but when he would get high on koke, 0:16:45.160 --> 0:16:46.440 he would beat the crap out of me. 0:16:47.120 --> 0:16:48.560 And he was a dope dealer. 0:16:48.760 --> 0:16:52.000 So one of his customers was a stripper, so when 0:16:52.000 --> 0:16:53.920 she would buy her little stuff from him, she see 0:16:53.960 --> 0:16:56.600 me all beat up and she's like, hey, you ain't 0:16:56.640 --> 0:16:57.840 got to deal with this. You can come to the 0:16:57.840 --> 0:16:59.600 club with me and make some money. So in her 0:16:59.640 --> 0:17:00.680 mind she was helping me. 0:17:00.920 --> 0:17:07.199 Well, I mean, she innocent, innocent, and how old are 0:17:07.200 --> 0:17:07.480 you now? 0:17:08.240 --> 0:17:09.439 I'm almost forty now. 0:17:09.359 --> 0:17:10.480 No no, no, no, no, no no no no. 0:17:12.359 --> 0:17:14.479 I'm almost okay. But in the time of the story, 0:17:14.560 --> 0:17:15.880 I was fourteen at this time. 0:17:16.160 --> 0:17:17.240 Whoa okay? 0:17:17.600 --> 0:17:21.639 So it started dancing, but what a fake id with 0:17:21.760 --> 0:17:24.359 a fake ID. But it was some grown people's stuff 0:17:24.400 --> 0:17:26.359 going on in the strip club that a fourteen year 0:17:26.400 --> 0:17:29.320 old wasn't ready for, and so I was like, nah, 0:17:29.560 --> 0:17:30.159 I can't do it. 0:17:30.200 --> 0:17:31.760 Does that strip club still exist today? 0:17:33.680 --> 0:17:36.119 That was the after hours in La Okay, So I 0:17:36.119 --> 0:17:37.919 don't know if they're still open, but it was the 0:17:37.960 --> 0:17:40.320 after hours and it was a lot of stuff going on. 0:17:40.320 --> 0:17:42.760 And now fourteen, what were some of the things that, 0:17:43.320 --> 0:17:47.199 like at that age you saw and were wild by, 0:17:47.520 --> 0:17:48.960 Like being in that type of environment. 0:17:49.200 --> 0:17:53.640