Speaker 1: When I got there, dancing was not a part of
Speaker 1: the plan. She was basically like, dancing, ain't it. If
Speaker 1: you want to see some real money, you gotta you know,
Speaker 1: you're gonna have to sell that thing. And so my
Speaker 1: choir member from my church was like, yeah, we're not dancing.
Speaker 2: We're from the be Hoes.
Speaker 1: We had sex one time and I got pregnant at
Speaker 1: thirteen by the twenty seven year old pimp. I hid
Speaker 1: my pregnancy until I was six and a half months
Speaker 1: pregnant and my water broke. I went from school to
Speaker 1: the ambulance to the hospital, where I gave birth to
Speaker 1: my first son, who died in my arms because he
Speaker 1: was premature.
Speaker 2: And that's when things kind of took aod turn.
Speaker 3: Thirteen go.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's the decisions, decisions, all right.
Speaker 2: I know this is funny, but let me just preg
Speaker 2: real quick before we do it. No, no, because we're
Speaker 2: gonna have fun, but we will no.
Speaker 3: No, okay, no, this is how we started.
Speaker 2: So let's pray.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, okay. Let me tell you. We haven't held
Speaker 3: hands in whoa if ever whoa.
Speaker 1: Wow, Lord, we thank you, we honor you, we give
Speaker 1: your name, glory, thank you.
Speaker 2: For this platform. Thank you for this opportunity.
Speaker 1: We come against any distractions, we come against any flaws,
Speaker 1: and we just asked God that you would just give
Speaker 1: us the right answers and the right responses. We pray
Speaker 1: for the viewers that somebody will laugh, but they will
Speaker 1: also be transformed, healed, and delivered through this as well.
Speaker 1: Bless these hosts as they continue to bring laughter, information,
Speaker 1: entertainment in Jesus name.
Speaker 3: Amen, hallello, you amen.
Speaker 5: But also I heard hoes no host, I heard said host.
Speaker 3: Oh oh, we both hold on. We both hold on.
Speaker 3: I heard hose by the way, hello host, hold on
Speaker 3: the audience.
Speaker 5: By the way, we hold a his you said Hose.
Speaker 5: We both looked at you.
Speaker 1: All the fight.
Speaker 3: We both looked at each other like, h we need
Speaker 3: to I mean, but okay.
Speaker 6: First of all, right, heel Now, I know y'all are
Speaker 6: looking at your phone, looking at the TV screen, looking
Speaker 6: at your laptop like, did I tune into the correct
Speaker 6: podcast this week?
Speaker 3: Y'all, welcome hallelujah to another episode Decisions.
Speaker 5: By the way, they say, I sound like a black
Speaker 5: past all the time, so welcome air.
Speaker 3: About it to Decisions. Decisions. I'm your girl, Mandy b.
Speaker 1: We.
Speaker 5: I'm her co host Wheezy, And before we start this
Speaker 5: week's episode, I do want to give a trigger warning
Speaker 5: only because we are going to be talking about some
Speaker 5: deep topics that may trigger the listeners. So anyone who
Speaker 5: may be triggered from any conversations around sexual assault, sexual harassment, survival, sex,
Speaker 5: sex trafficking, please just proceed with the episode with caution.
Speaker 5: All right, now, I do have a little introduction for
Speaker 5: who our host is.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 5: I use my husband to help me with this, so
Speaker 5: if he forgot something, let me know.
Speaker 3: My husband is chet Chipet. I know.
Speaker 5: Don't judge me, dang, ain't no judging in the pole pit. Okay,
Speaker 5: So today y'all we are a joel pit. That's see,
Speaker 5: look at you the pink keep going.
Speaker 3: Get you all right, y'all?
Speaker 5: Today today Baby, we all joined by Apostle Danielle Williams Record,
Speaker 5: a dynamic voice in faith leadership and spiritual empowerment. Apostle
Speaker 5: Danielle is known for her unwavering commitment to God's truth,
Speaker 5: her passion for healing and restoration, and her heart for people,
Speaker 5: especially women, walking into wholeness and purpose through her ministry, teaching,
Speaker 5: and prophetic insights. She challenges believers to grow deeper in
Speaker 5: faith while living.
Speaker 3: Authentically and boldly.
Speaker 5: She is also the author of From Pouring to the Pulpit,
Speaker 5: which is most recently been turned into a stage play
Speaker 5: and is traveling the country.
Speaker 3: I book listen.
Speaker 5: Because even just flipping through the pages, I was like,
Speaker 5: this is juice juicey, just like your story.
Speaker 3: Welcome, can we okay? Thank you?
Speaker 5: I'll tell her husband he did a good child girl,
Speaker 5: because he liked words of information that crosses.
Speaker 3: In the ear. It is you have those and you
Speaker 3: shouldn't even be wearing them. You know what. I am
Speaker 3: a child of God. He is here for me all
Speaker 3: the time.
Speaker 5: Now let's get into a little bit about you. So, y'all,
Speaker 5: this is a whole episode. We listen and we do
Speaker 5: not judge. Now, Me and Weezy judge our friends all
Speaker 5: the time. But we're gonna come in not judging because
Speaker 5: I think that your story is different.
Speaker 3: It should be told.
Speaker 5: And I think being a woman from a religious background
Speaker 5: and from the church, where there is a lot of
Speaker 5: shame in truth, there is a lot of shame in
Speaker 5: life experience, especially for women. I love the you are
Speaker 5: so brave in sharing it.
Speaker 3: And being like, this is me. I can't imagine just
Speaker 3: sharing it, getting to a point where you felt comfortable
Speaker 3: to share it, because I know that you must have
Speaker 3: said the title of this book to somebody and they
Speaker 3: were like, are you insane? Absolutely?
Speaker 1: Ultimately, it took a long time to get bold enough
Speaker 1: to talk about it.
Speaker 2: Who wakes up and says, hey, how you doing? My
Speaker 2: name Danielle used to be a whole you know, like,
Speaker 2: you know.
Speaker 3: Have we introduced ourselves like alpha? You know, I feel
Speaker 3: like that's an alcoholic anonymous like.
Speaker 1: Especially in church and in the combinements of empowerment groups
Speaker 1: and things like that. It took a minute for me
Speaker 1: to be able to get to the point that I'm
Speaker 1: at now.
Speaker 3: Oh but you really don't introduce yourself like that, do you.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's straight to the point, from Poorn to
Speaker 1: the Pool, but I wanted it to be self explanatory,
Speaker 1: right to the point.
Speaker 2: I don't want to come with those saved title.
Speaker 1: No church type people just look at that and put
Speaker 1: that down from Poorn to the Pool, It's gonna catch
Speaker 1: your attention and it's literally my did you have?
Speaker 3: Like okay? Because it seems now even being a pastor
Speaker 3: like you're still fun, You're still sexy, So like there's
Speaker 3: still some of that personality when you were doing porn.
Speaker 3: Did you give church you girl? Not at all?
Speaker 5: Okay, so that personality now I ain't giving you you
Speaker 5: feel like you Okay. Now I do want to start
Speaker 5: off then with your backstory, like how early did you
Speaker 5: were you raised in the church, Like what what is
Speaker 5: your early relationship with the church?
Speaker 1: Specifically, I do not have any recollection of my parents
Speaker 1: taking me to church. Mother or my father did not
Speaker 1: take me to church. It was my grandparents. They gave
Speaker 1: me God. Okay, they gave me God.
Speaker 3: And so what did that look like?
Speaker 5: At what age did you start start going to the church,
Speaker 5: because that's where this all started.
Speaker 3: By the way, y'all are going to be surprised that baby,
Speaker 3: it was really from the pulpit to port to the pulpit.
Speaker 1: H uh huh.
Speaker 3: So let's talk about it. Okay.
Speaker 2: So prior to me in church, I had started in
Speaker 2: the strip club.
Speaker 3: Okay, yes, literally, Okay.
Speaker 1: So before I got with my grandparents and really got
Speaker 1: rooted and grounded into the church, I was out of
Speaker 1: control team straight out of Compton, you know, all of
Speaker 1: the things. But I had been molested and raped at
Speaker 1: a very young age, eight years old. It started with
Speaker 1: the molestation by my babysitter son. Our black community, our
Speaker 1: brown and black community, they don't really talk about mental
Speaker 1: health stuff. But my father was diagnosed with bipolar disorder
Speaker 1: and schizophrenia, and he tried to kill me when I
Speaker 1: was ten. He tried to drown me in a bathtub.
Speaker 1: He beat me halfway to death and then tried to
Speaker 1: draw me in a bathtub. I kind of bounced from
Speaker 1: family member to family member and.
Speaker 3: He was having an episode when it happened.
Speaker 1: Ended up in LA with my mom, and we had
Speaker 1: a neighbor, you know that family friend who ended up
Speaker 1: invited me into his home and he raped me when
Speaker 1: I was twelve.
Speaker 3: You're at eight ten and twelve.
Speaker 5: Eight ten and twelve, and also you spoke with no
Speaker 5: one at this age about any of this that had happened.
Speaker 3: Like because you led with It's really hard.
Speaker 5: Within the black community to speak about mental health things
Speaker 5: that we go through, and a lot of that stuff
Speaker 5: is brushed under the rug. Unfortunately for so many women
Speaker 5: and boys, right or girls and boys. So eight ten
Speaker 5: and twelve, no one kind of came to your rescue
Speaker 5: during these things taking place.
Speaker 1: No, So, at eight and at twelve, an abuser's objective
Speaker 1: is to instill fear. So the babysitter son, So I
Speaker 1: was eight, he was like fourteen when I was twelve.
Speaker 1: This was like a forty plus yr old neighbor. So
Speaker 1: their their jobs to instill fear, make you feel like
Speaker 1: nobody's gonna believe you, or if you tell I'm gonna
Speaker 1: do this or I'm gonna do that. So I had
Speaker 1: I was scared to say something, so I didn't say anything.
Speaker 1: Even when my dad trying to kill me. I think
Speaker 1: I went to They took me to like therapy once
Speaker 1: or twice and then it was like, Okay, it's over with.
Speaker 2: So I didn't.
Speaker 1: I never got the proper helpe that I really should
Speaker 1: have got through the eight, ten, and twelve.
Speaker 3: So when you were going through these experiences and you
Speaker 3: said you ended up going to was it another family
Speaker 3: member's house? That's when God was introduced to you.
Speaker 1: No, wow, So much trauma happened before I finally found
Speaker 1: my piece. Okay, Yeah, So twelve thirteen in La standing
Speaker 1: at the bus stop waiting for my bus to come
Speaker 1: on fig on figure roller.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, I know what happens on Figeah.
Speaker 1: And this guy pulled up and he was the finest
Speaker 1: thing I ever seen in my life. He pulled up
Speaker 1: in like this gold LEXI said, I was like eugh,
Speaker 1: and he got.
Speaker 2: Off the car.
Speaker 1: He tried to talk to me whatever, and I'm young
Speaker 1: and dumb at thirteen years old. He's twenty seven, twenty seven.
Speaker 1: Found out he was a pimp trying to pimp me.
Speaker 1: I didn't know that at that wasn't the introduction. I'm
Speaker 1: just thinking, I'm a young girl. This cute older guy
Speaker 1: is interested. We had sex one time and I got
Speaker 1: pregnant at thirteen by the twenty seven year old pimp.
Speaker 1: I hid my pregnancy until I was six and a
Speaker 1: half months pregnant and my water broke. I went from
Speaker 1: school to the ambulance to the hospital, where I gave
Speaker 1: birth to my first son, who died in my arms
Speaker 1: because he was premature. And that's when things kind of
Speaker 1: took a turn. When you say birth, I gave birth,
Speaker 1: had to push him.
Speaker 3: Eg topic pregnancy no no, no no, So.
Speaker 5: What is it when it's still still no?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 5: He was alive, just premature and then and didn't make it.
Speaker 2: Pass didn't make it past. There you go, can make
Speaker 2: it pass.
Speaker 1: And going back to what you said thirteen, Yeah, going back,
Speaker 1: wow said eight, ten, twelve, now thirteen, trauma after trauma
Speaker 1: after trauma with no proper therapy or help or anybody
Speaker 1: older to try to mentor me and help me through that.
Speaker 2: So my mind just kind of.
Speaker 3: Who did you hide your pregnancy from? Who are you
Speaker 3: living with? My mom? Wow?
Speaker 5: So she after leaving your dad, you also felt like
Speaker 5: wasn't someone that you could speak to.
Speaker 1: No, Okay, And I want to touch on that because
Speaker 1: I think a lot of young girls we go through
Speaker 1: this thing with our moms sometimes.
Speaker 2: And now she's my bestie, Now that's my I mean.
Speaker 5: I hid my period for a year from my mom.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: So it's weird because I also don't know how, especially
Speaker 5: like with so many of my friends now being mothers.
Speaker 5: It's almost like there is no teaching or right way
Speaker 5: or blueprint for you to gain that trust and safety
Speaker 5: net with your daughter all the time.
Speaker 3: It's very difficult. Yes, it is, it is.
Speaker 5: And so just at thirteen, there still wasn't that you
Speaker 5: didn't feel like you could go to your mom.
Speaker 1: I couldn't tell her, Hey, I'm pregnant, Like I just
Speaker 1: couldn't it.
Speaker 2: The words could never come.
Speaker 3: I don't know if I could have a mom that
Speaker 3: cool at thirteen to even be like it's hard to
Speaker 3: when you know what I want to go back to,
Speaker 3: like just thinking and I'm curious now, especially in the
Speaker 3: era of like the fsceine file, like I love Deepak
Speaker 3: Choufe and just found out he was making poems about
Speaker 3: his lust for little girls. So it's like all of
Speaker 3: our faiths are just going away, right, I mean, for example,
Speaker 3: it could be something like I think jay Z is
Speaker 3: on a list because he was on the list for
Speaker 3: a party, right, everybody has a different type of party,
Speaker 3: or mom Donnie the mayor of New York because Mom
Speaker 3: went to a film screening of something, so like anybody
Speaker 3: could be connected. And then there's the ones who were
Speaker 3: actually having sex with little girls. What were some of
Speaker 3: the things that you remember him saying to you, like
Speaker 3: the pimp? Yeah, OK. Are there any things that when
Speaker 3: you were in the car or when you guys met
Speaker 3: that acknowledged maybe your age or he knew your age,
Speaker 3: or was there something that he was.
Speaker 5: Saying you did me talking about this twenty seven year old
Speaker 5: knew she.
Speaker 2: Was underage, of course, a thirteen year old.
Speaker 3: I just want to know what he said to you,
Speaker 3: specifically to where you knew he knew you were thirteen.
Speaker 1: I don't think he knew I was thirteen. He knew
Speaker 1: I was underage, like sixteen. I think I'm gonna said
Speaker 1: I'm sixteen, fifteen, sixteen. Either way, he knew I was
Speaker 1: a minor. Yeah, I just don't think he knew that
Speaker 1: I was that young until I got pregnant. When I
Speaker 1: got pregnant, the first thing was I told him and
Speaker 1: he the first option was abortion. So I think that's
Speaker 1: when the conversation about my age came up, because he's like, well,
Speaker 1: six if you're sixteen, you can go to here by
Speaker 1: your son, California. I get sixteen by yourself. And I
Speaker 1: think that's when it came out, well, I'm not sixteen,
Speaker 1: I'm thirteen. And then I said so he was like thirteen.
Speaker 2: I'm like yeah. So he was like, I said, so
Speaker 2: you have to take me.
Speaker 1: You're gonna have to play the brother, the uncle, you
Speaker 1: like to do something, and he said okay, but he
Speaker 1: never showed up. And so at that point I was
Speaker 1: still early in the pregnancy. But when he didn't show up.
Speaker 1: I just thirteen. I thought out of sight.
Speaker 2: Out of mind. If I don't acknowledge it, it's gonna
Speaker 2: go away.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, we're so dumb? Are we dumb? Literally?
Speaker 5: Like, we're so dumb? So then, at what point was
Speaker 5: your mom aware of your pregnancy.
Speaker 2: When they called her and when I was in labor?
Speaker 5: Your mom found out when you were in labor?
Speaker 1: Mother and my grandparents because I tried to leave the
Speaker 1: hospital while I was in labor because the time was going.
Speaker 2: Mind you, my water broke at school.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, all right, I've been here a couple hours,
Speaker 1: it's getting late that the street lights are coming on.
Speaker 3: With that man in your head when the water broke,
Speaker 3: did you knew you were going to the labor? I
Speaker 3: don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't think I knew the severity because I was
Speaker 1: trying to go home, Like I literally.
Speaker 3: In your head, what were you thinking, like, I'm gonna
Speaker 3: give it up for adoption.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm just gonna leave it at the hospital, go home,
Speaker 1: and then come back the next day and figure it out.
Speaker 3: Yep, that sounds like, yeah, I'm gonna go home. Not
Speaker 3: crashed the car, but I hit my parents' car. When
Speaker 3: I took it out at thirteen, I'm ever thinking it's okay,
Speaker 3: it's on the right side. My mom enters from the
Speaker 3: left side. By the time I find somebody, I'm gonna
Speaker 3: take my dad's check with sun the way.
Speaker 5: You it's the process get to cortex is not even there.
Speaker 3: Okay, So she found that out.
Speaker 5: You have the baby, Do you remain in this relationship
Speaker 5: with the pimp? Because now also your mom is a
Speaker 5: ha is your mom now aware clearly of the baby,
Speaker 5: but the relationship and who.
Speaker 3: You have it with.
Speaker 1: I think I concealed his age, Okay I did. I
Speaker 1: don't think I told how old he was, nor that
Speaker 1: he was a pimp.
Speaker 3: Were y'all sleeping together while you're pre I.
Speaker 2: Had sex with this man?
Speaker 3: Wow?
Speaker 1: All of this because when I got pregnant, he was like,
Speaker 1: let's get the abortion. Then when he didn't show up,
Speaker 1: he said, well, just have the baby. I'll take care
Speaker 1: of you while you're pregnant. But once you had a baby,
Speaker 1: you're gonna have to get on the blade.
Speaker 3: What is on the trail?
Speaker 1: Yes, you go, I'm gonna take care of you while
Speaker 1: you pregnant. You had a baby, and then you're gonna
Speaker 1: have to get the.
Speaker 3: Work because you you a bottom bitch.
Speaker 1: Now at this point, yeah, yeah, I said no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I said no, And it was funny that I said.
Speaker 1: I had enough sense to say no to him, but
Speaker 1: not to the girl that introduced me to that.
Speaker 4: So you.
Speaker 3: Or or we also tie, we don't. We don't.
Speaker 5: A lot of times tie harm to women as a woman,
Speaker 5: especially young, especially if they become friends, Like you don't
Speaker 5: think a friend is gonna put you into some shit,
Speaker 5: so the baby doesn't make it.
Speaker 3: You're thirteen.
Speaker 5: Let's fast forward a little bit too, this introduction and
Speaker 5: who it was, where it was, because it was in
Speaker 5: the church, absolutely, So yeah, let's get to you are a.
Speaker 3: Stripper when you started strip?
Speaker 1: So I ran away after the baby. I just ran away.
Speaker 1: Rebellion kicked in. My mom is like, how did you
Speaker 1: have all these questions? I don't want to talk.
Speaker 2: I'm mad. I run away, get a fake ID, run
Speaker 2: away with another pimp.
Speaker 3: Did you know he was?
Speaker 2: I didn't at first.
Speaker 1: But the difference between him and the baby dad was
Speaker 1: he didn't force me or try to get me to
Speaker 1: do it.
Speaker 2: He offered.
Speaker 3: I was like, no.
Speaker 1: The problem with him was this is where the strip
Speaker 1: club came in, he was like, mister what they said,
Speaker 1: doctor Jeko, mister high. He was really nice when he
Speaker 1: was sober, but when he would get high on koke,
Speaker 1: he would beat the crap out of me.
Speaker 2: And he was a dope dealer.
Speaker 1: So one of his customers was a stripper, so when
Speaker 1: she would buy her little stuff from him, she see
Speaker 1: me all beat up and she's like, hey, you ain't
Speaker 1: got to deal with this. You can come to the
Speaker 1: club with me and make some money. So in her
Speaker 1: mind she was helping me.
Speaker 3: Well, I mean, she innocent, innocent, and how old are
Speaker 3: you now?
Speaker 2: I'm almost forty now.
Speaker 3: No no, no, no, no, no no no no.
Speaker 2: I'm almost okay. But in the time of the story,
Speaker 2: I was fourteen at this time.
Speaker 3: Whoa okay?
Speaker 1: So it started dancing, but what a fake id with
Speaker 1: a fake ID. But it was some grown people's stuff
Speaker 1: going on in the strip club that a fourteen year
Speaker 1: old wasn't ready for, and so I was like, nah,
Speaker 1: I can't do it.
Speaker 3: Does that strip club still exist today?
Speaker 1: That was the after hours in La Okay, So I
Speaker 1: don't know if they're still open, but it was the
Speaker 1: after hours and it was a lot of stuff going on.
Speaker 5: And now fourteen, what were some of the things that,
Speaker 5: like at that age you saw and were wild by,
Speaker 5: Like being in that type of environment.
Speaker 1: Sex in the champagne room, girls getting beat up by
Speaker 1: their pimps because the money wasn't enough, people doing drugs
Speaker 1: in the corner. What Ebney from Players Club said, I
Speaker 1: just came to dance for y'all. I just came to dance,
Speaker 1: but they wanted they was like, nah, at that time.
Speaker 3: How much do you remember sex being in the club,
Speaker 3: in the champagne room.
Speaker 1: I don't know when they offered me. I was so,
Speaker 1: I was so, I felt so disrespected. I was so like,
Speaker 1: how dare you ask me to do that? Cause I'm fourteen.
Speaker 1: So when I hear strip club, I hear dancing dancing,
Speaker 1: I'm thinking dancing, naked, dancing in sexy clothes, not prostitution,
Speaker 1: because there is a difference. There's some clubs that they
Speaker 1: allow you to dance. If you do anything else, they
Speaker 1: will put you out. So that's what I'm thinking, But
Speaker 1: not over here. It's like, yeah, you dance, that's the appetizer.
Speaker 1: But you know, after that we go back there we
Speaker 1: fucking yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, And at fourteen, I wasn't ready for that.
Speaker 3: You know, I actually don't know if in my lifetime
Speaker 3: I've been in a private room and not been offered.
Speaker 3: More like there's a place somewhere I don't know if
Speaker 3: it still exists in New Orleans called the passion Pit.
Speaker 3: And I was only eighteen or nineteen went to the
Speaker 3: back room because my friend bought me a dance and
Speaker 3: the girl literally said to me, Okay, do you want
Speaker 3: me at your pussy or you want have you ever
Speaker 3: had fingers in your pussy? Like how much do you
Speaker 3: want to spend? And I remember thinking to myself, my god,
Speaker 3: I'm thinking, like these people brought me to dance because
Speaker 3: they knew I was coming back here to do this shit.
Speaker 3: And it's not really to me something that I don't
Speaker 3: know what's common knowledge we think just like you said,
Speaker 3: stripping is dancing. Yeah, I'm sure you had no idea
Speaker 3: that later in your life you'd be at the point.
Speaker 3: I feel like any stripper we meet that started at
Speaker 3: stripping then it became to port it's like no one
Speaker 3: ever saw that trajectory absolutely, But when did you start
Speaker 3: to see it.
Speaker 2: Happen in the strip? Like right away was starting for yourself.
Speaker 1: I mean, so when I left the strip club, I
Speaker 1: went to Compton with my grandparents. In order to be
Speaker 1: in their house, you had to go to church. And
Speaker 1: this is what age now fifteen. Okay, you didn't last
Speaker 1: very long.
Speaker 3: You said.
Speaker 1: I was in there a year. Okay, I don't think
Speaker 1: I was. I was at my grandparents for a while.
Speaker 1: But when the institution started it was fifteen.
Speaker 3: Where were you staying? Like? Where was your home? Like
Speaker 3: when you were fourteen?
Speaker 1: I was living with the drug dealing pen and then
Speaker 1: I left started stripping. Was staying with the strip with
Speaker 1: with the stripper who introduced me to that, and then
Speaker 1: I went to Saint Gonna work.
Speaker 5: So in your grandparents' home, the rule was that you
Speaker 5: had to go to church.
Speaker 2: I gotta go to church.
Speaker 5: Okay, so by fifteen, church is introduced. Yes, at this point,
Speaker 5: did you feel like church would be like now this
Speaker 5: new reawakening or.
Speaker 3: Rebirth or you felt safe? Yes?
Speaker 5: Their church was okay, yeah, let's get into Then you
Speaker 5: you getting into church?
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I got into I got into stability with
Speaker 1: my grandparents. It was stability. I got into got back
Speaker 1: into school because then I dropped out of school.
Speaker 2: Obviously.
Speaker 1: So I got back into school, Okay, got me a
Speaker 1: little summer job, and then they had me in church
Speaker 1: all day, every day, all day. Oh my gosh, Oh
Speaker 1: you had those type of I had those type of godparents.
Speaker 1: It was something every day. And so I was like,
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm gonna be here. I'm min as,
Speaker 1: We'll do something, find something I enjoyed. At that time,
Speaker 1: I wanted to sing, and so I joined the youth
Speaker 1: choir and so I was singing for Jesus and I
Speaker 1: befriended this young lady in the choir. You know, my
Speaker 1: my grandparents knew her mom, and I knew her from
Speaker 1: visiting the church, and then when I joined the choir,
Speaker 1: we really got.
Speaker 3: The same pitch. No.
Speaker 1: She was eighteen fifteen, and one day she pulled me
Speaker 1: to the side after choir rehearsal, pulled me to the side,
Speaker 1: and she was like, I know you used to dance.
Speaker 2: I'm like, well, how do you know that?
Speaker 3: How you know I used to grandparents your grandparents end.
Speaker 2: Dang, yeah doing good. Now she was out in the
Speaker 2: street club, but she over here with that.
Speaker 1: And so she was like, I know you used to dance,
Speaker 1: And I was like she was like, but don't trip.
Speaker 1: I danced too present, tense, and so I'm like okay.
Speaker 1: And so she was like, you don't have to stay
Speaker 1: with your your grandparents. I got my own place. She
Speaker 1: was like, look outside, you see my car. She was like,
Speaker 1: I'm dancing and you can come stay with me and
Speaker 1: we'll dance together. So I'm like, you know, okay, you
Speaker 1: know this is my friend, this is my girl. So
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, cool. So I run away from stability,
Speaker 1: run away from my safe place to go move in
Speaker 1: with my friend to dance. However, when I got there,
Speaker 1: dancing was not a part of the plan.
Speaker 2: She was basically like, dancing, ain't it.
Speaker 1: If you want to see some real money, you gotta
Speaker 1: you know, you're gonna have to sell that thing. So
Speaker 1: my choir member from my church was like, yeah, we're
Speaker 1: not dancing, We're finla be hoes.
Speaker 3: Did she want some of your money? No?
Speaker 1: I later found out she was with a pimp. It
Speaker 1: was a scheme that Tad set up. She didn't tell
Speaker 1: me at first.
Speaker 2: I didn't know at first, but.
Speaker 3: I knew she did. She not here. No. No, Todd
Speaker 3: is Candy her ex husband, Todd. That's his name. Candy's husband.
Speaker 3: What's Todd? What you be? She is? She is a girl. Okay,
Speaker 3: you bring on fat white lady, and.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna help her while she's coming down to Atlanta.
Speaker 5: She needs to know Housewives of Atlanta. Okay, Bron, it's embarrassing. Okay,
Speaker 5: well because even my baby daddy know. Pat, I'm like,
Speaker 5: but that's mama Joyce said that anyway. Anyway, so it
Speaker 5: was a scheme that she probably set up with her
Speaker 5: pimp to bring you into the pault.
Speaker 3: What transpired from there? How long will you do this?
Speaker 3: Because I ain't gonna hold you. God, damn, this is
Speaker 3: once every year.
Speaker 5: It's like trauma trauma.
Speaker 3: Oh sorry, I can't say that. I said God. You
Speaker 3: gotta say God.
Speaker 5: That was God.
Speaker 3: Damn.
Speaker 5: Oops, y'all are watching this on the video we came
Speaker 5: in our church fit.
Speaker 3: You know, church fit. Ain't no cleav it. Sorry, fellas,
Speaker 3: ain't no the cherries give hord for you. They messed
Speaker 3: the shirt. She said to these hoes today.
Speaker 5: You know what, I would like to play it back,
Speaker 5: And we had the subtitle it I bet you in
Speaker 5: here the I didn't hear the but okay, so what
Speaker 5: ended up happening during this time that you're with this
Speaker 5: friend and her pimp.
Speaker 1: I wasn't with the pimps. Okay, yeah, so just with her.
Speaker 1: She basically got me ready for the first date. You know,
Speaker 1: we went literally went from singing for Jesus at our
Speaker 1: church to now she dressing me up?
Speaker 3: How does she find? What were you?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 3: I was saying to Jesus the coming on ball that no,
Speaker 3: I can't say that. Sorry y'all.
Speaker 5: Sorry, okay here, well you ain't you ain't wrong, ain't wrong.
Speaker 2: But yeah, so she just got me ready for the
Speaker 2: first day.
Speaker 3: What were how are you feeling? Like, do you remember
Speaker 3: like told like, yeah, what did she tell you? How
Speaker 3: did she prepare you? Like did she tell you about
Speaker 3: condoms or maybe like what to put on? Like what
Speaker 3: was that first experience?
Speaker 1: Like, I mean, it was a whole rundown, and I
Speaker 1: think it just was like have you ever just sat
Speaker 1: there just you hear them? But it's like an outer
Speaker 1: body experience, like I'm really getting ready for this. And
Speaker 1: then she was like, well, I got something to calm
Speaker 1: you down. So not only did the choir member introduce
Speaker 1: me to the prostitution, she introduced me to drugs. So
Speaker 1: I started with the cocaine and the X and all
Speaker 1: that hold on coke.
Speaker 3: Calms you down, or maybe she just wanted you out
Speaker 3: your head. Yeah, I mean you would know what That's
Speaker 3: what I said. I don't know what she was talking about.
Speaker 1: I thought, turno, No it was I don't know if
Speaker 1: she was just trying to calm you know, get you
Speaker 1: out your your sobriety, get into the place.
Speaker 2: So it was just oh, you know what, confidence, here
Speaker 2: you go.
Speaker 3: There you go cocaine confidence. Yeah. So wow.
Speaker 2: I don't think you ever forget your first your first client.
Speaker 3: What was he like? Was he white? Was he black?
Speaker 3: Was young? A black? Fat?
Speaker 1: Was They always say you don't do black, don't go
Speaker 1: black because he's either a pimp or a police.
Speaker 2: Oh, Armenian. It was in the valley in La.
Speaker 5: I've never heard that. I always hear don't go black.
Speaker 5: There they got big dicks, That's.
Speaker 3: What I heard. Wait, because if you look for those
Speaker 3: of you that may not know we talk about, if
Speaker 3: you were ever on a site or you're ever seeing
Speaker 3: women talk about who they're looking for, they'll list out
Speaker 3: that they won't take black men. A lot of sex
Speaker 3: workers black women won't take black men.
Speaker 5: Well, my homegirl that used to be on arrows. She
Speaker 5: told me she didn't take black men because her cap
Speaker 5: was six men a day. She did out calls, but
Speaker 5: they either went too long or too big or and
Speaker 5: I hate that she said this was her words, or aggressive.
Speaker 5: So because of that, she steered clear of black men
Speaker 5: as clients.
Speaker 2: I was just told it was either a pimp or
Speaker 2: the police.
Speaker 5: Wow, okay, interesting, Okay, So your first client was Armeni Armenian.
Speaker 2: That's very la, very much so in the valley.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, it was an Honting honey.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, what was your name? What was my name?
Speaker 2: I don't remember.
Speaker 1: I know they used to call me a little bit
Speaker 1: before I changed my name to queen. Okay, So I
Speaker 1: think I was just going by that because I always
Speaker 1: was short and I was smaller than the in statue.
Speaker 2: So I just went by that.
Speaker 3: And were you in a car?
Speaker 2: Were you was in the car?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: She took me straight to the Blade.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you were on the Blade at fifteen, fifteen years old?
Speaker 3: Where's the Blade? Because I've heard about fig Maybe we
Speaker 3: could if you could get.
Speaker 5: Didn't they do a documentary about Yeah, this particular strip.
Speaker 3: I thought you've talked about it. Yeah, I didn't know
Speaker 3: about fig Okay, I've never heard a blade.
Speaker 1: So in the valley you got Sherman Oaks, Sherman Way,
Speaker 1: you have places in like.
Speaker 2: Where are some other ones?
Speaker 1: Obviously a sunset, you know, Hollywood Boulevard, things of that nature.
Speaker 3: Yeah wow, yeah, so this is still today then a
Speaker 3: place where.
Speaker 5: You can get Okay, so you're fifteen, you've had your
Speaker 5: first john. Does it get easier harder? Do you disconnect?
Speaker 5: And then we're gonna get to you going back to
Speaker 5: the place that brought you this. But how long were
Speaker 5: you were you doing prostitution.
Speaker 3: And then it? Did it go to porn from there?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Okay, you did all all the times. I'd like to
Speaker 3: ask you a question that might be uncomfortable, but I'm curious.
Speaker 3: A lot of my friends that do sex work, we
Speaker 3: may laugh about the fun moments together or something silly
Speaker 3: like girl he could get over he wanted this. What
Speaker 3: was the scariest moment for you?
Speaker 1: Oh, we're gonna get there. Okay, so it got real bad.
Speaker 1: I think that was the turning point. The scariest moment
Speaker 1: was my tur was your turning However, before I got there,
Speaker 1: I went through things like pimps trying to kidnap me,
Speaker 1: and you know, tricks pulling out guns and knives.
Speaker 2: I've been robbed on a blade on the track or
Speaker 2: whatever they call it, because.
Speaker 3: You weren't giving the money away, so you had the
Speaker 3: money on you.
Speaker 1: Well, some people go out there to rob the prostitutes
Speaker 1: because they know they're getting cash. It was way before
Speaker 1: cash apps and squares and Benmo and PayPal, you know,
Speaker 1: it was it was a cash transaction, so.
Speaker 3: You had to go to the public.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so for the most part, a lot of men
Speaker 1: and women know that that's an easy lick, go out
Speaker 1: there with the women are a little bit more less
Speaker 1: vulnerable than me, and you know, they're less of a
Speaker 1: threat than a man. So an easy hit is to
Speaker 1: go on the track and hit a prostitute, get her
Speaker 1: money or whatever.
Speaker 2: So I went through a lot of that.
Speaker 3: What percentage of men were trying to do things without condoms?
Speaker 1: You know, I didn't really run into that a lot.
Speaker 1: I mean, you have a few, but I didn't really run.
Speaker 2: Into that a lot.
Speaker 1: I think I started seeing that more so on the
Speaker 1: porn industry when my clientele changed.
Speaker 3: Wow, now that's what I to get to. Yeah, so you.
Speaker 5: Go from prostitution on the blade to porn, so doing
Speaker 5: it on video. Now you talk about your clientele, uh huh.
Speaker 5: And it brought you kind of back to the church
Speaker 5: just a little bit, kind of sort of well I
Speaker 5: need to know about your clientele.
Speaker 3: That was God fear men.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so even before I think, before porn, a lot
Speaker 1: of my clients were pastors.
Speaker 3: Now this is interesting being in church. Yeah. Do you
Speaker 3: you said you just left Orlando. Do you remember hearing
Speaker 3: a story about New Destiny? M M. There was a
Speaker 3: church I went to growing up in Orlando, and the
Speaker 3: pastor of the church died in New York and hotel
Speaker 3: room they set up a cocaine overdose and he was
Speaker 3: with a sex worker his wife and now I think
Speaker 3: with a new husband now runs that church. Maybe she
Speaker 3: named it something else, But I had heard my whole
Speaker 3: life that like the highest pain customers, or like the
Speaker 3: most frequent or sexy to talk about just crazy in
Speaker 3: a story where it was pastors and policemen, they told
Speaker 3: you they was pastors.
Speaker 5: Some of them did they have kicks where they was like, ooh,
Speaker 5: call me pastor away, like I didn't know the.
Speaker 1: Like some of them were well known, so I just
Speaker 1: gotta knew. Oh yeah, some of them were well known.
Speaker 1: I ran into some in church because so this is
Speaker 1: the thing I would have paid to see their face
Speaker 1: on you. So it was times where, like I said,
Speaker 1: prostituting before I got into the porn industry, I still
Speaker 1: went to church Like it didn't matter what I did.
Speaker 1: I was on drugs at this point, I was prostituting, stripping,
Speaker 1: selling dope in and out of jail, do it. But
Speaker 1: I still went to church. And I thank god that
Speaker 1: my grandparents gave me that because even though I was
Speaker 1: living wild, I was wild, but I still had that
Speaker 1: relationship with God.
Speaker 2: People say you're a hypocreator whatever, you know, Like.
Speaker 3: For those of us, I feel like I'm someone that
Speaker 3: casually goes when it's a holiday, or a friend drags me, right,
Speaker 3: when a friend dragged me, and when it happens, there's
Speaker 3: something I want to change that day. How did that
Speaker 3: never happen?
Speaker 1: What?
Speaker 3: Or it did happen?
Speaker 2: It happened. But then when the money gets low, that
Speaker 2: flesh rises again.
Speaker 3: So when you go to church, you'd be like, I'm
Speaker 3: doing the wrong thing.
Speaker 1: Of course, yeah, especially if that message is right, that
Speaker 1: song is right, and then it's like, dang, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go to the club, or I just left a married man,
Speaker 1: or I just left doing this. You know it would hit,
Speaker 1: but you know, you have to make a decision, and
Speaker 1: sometimes we're just not ready to make that decision. And
Speaker 1: so I would be in church and then I see
Speaker 1: the dude that I was just with the other night,
Speaker 1: and that's how I will find out a lot of
Speaker 1: them have positions in church. They were pastors, deacon's ministers,
Speaker 1: or whatever. Just by trying to go worship. I had
Speaker 1: times where I was literally in worship crying. It's not
Speaker 1: an ugly crying and want to tap me on my
Speaker 1: shoulder and it'll be one of my clients. Wow, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: what yeah, Okay, it was very with their family, with
Speaker 1: their families.
Speaker 3: What about I'm something I'm curious to, Like, you're almost forty,
Speaker 3: this is happening to you as a teenager. Do we
Speaker 3: think sex work is so moral and bad? Now? Dude?
Speaker 3: What is your opinion in comparison? You were basically saying
Speaker 3: that at the time, you felt like you were doing
Speaker 3: the wrong thing.
Speaker 5: I mean back then, I remember when I was in
Speaker 5: high school, one of my close friends, her sister was
Speaker 5: a dancer at Magic City, And back then being a
Speaker 5: stripper was so taboo, you didn't They weren't proud, but
Speaker 5: they made money and they were the girls in the
Speaker 5: strip club.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 5: But now with OnlyFans and with you know, the like
Speaker 5: ig models, we know what some of them are doing
Speaker 5: on the trips that they go to. It's a lot
Speaker 5: more normalized sex work now than it was back.
Speaker 3: Normal more than today. No, I'm like direct question, do
Speaker 3: you think it's wrong?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 3: Oh you do? Yeah, And so knowing that one somebody
Speaker 3: could be happy and doing legal sex work, and even
Speaker 3: if it's something like a virtual a sexual relationship just
Speaker 3: sharing nude photos, you feel like it's wrong or you
Speaker 3: believe that it is wrong because the Bible. Where does
Speaker 3: that come from.
Speaker 1: I've never met a happy prostitute. Oh, will we know
Speaker 1: how to pretend. There's no woman that likes to be degraded.
Speaker 1: We like the money and the lifestyle. There's no woman
Speaker 1: who will sit down. They'll tell you, oh yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: getting money, I'm getting and all of that.
Speaker 2: That's great.
Speaker 1: We're gonna portray that, especially if you have celebrity clientele,
Speaker 1: especially if you're buying bags and you're living a luxurious lifestyle,
Speaker 1: but internally you're not happy.
Speaker 3: Now, that's why sex for money? What about if it's
Speaker 3: porn and it's or it's stripping, or even if they're
Speaker 3: making money off their feet. Horn's right, but she said prostitute,
Speaker 3: So I want to know in prostitution it's just legal.
Speaker 3: Is there any kind of sex work that you think
Speaker 3: is moral?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: Okay, m hmm No. Does that come from experience or
Speaker 3: because because you're a pastor now you know so much
Speaker 3: more and maybe have such a close relationship to God.
Speaker 3: I want to know if it's because your experience pushed
Speaker 3: it away or if your relationship but God is telling
Speaker 3: you that.
Speaker 1: Both my experience and then obviously my relationship with God,
Speaker 1: but even before I was really rooted into that as
Speaker 1: a woman who did it, it is no. We know
Speaker 1: how to make it look good, especially when I got
Speaker 1: into porn. Shout out to my best friend Shaanna, our
Speaker 1: mutual friend. I met her on the porn set. Oh wow,
Speaker 1: So we literally met when I was eighteen years old.
Speaker 1: On the porn set. We were doing an orgy scene.
Speaker 2: That's how we met.
Speaker 1: That's how me and my best friend met I was
Speaker 1: eighteen years old, and we just hit it off and
Speaker 1: we became really good friends, and we're friends to this day.
Speaker 1: I'm the godmother to her child. She introduced me because
Speaker 1: I was hood.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. I was wanted them.
Speaker 1: I was hood. Okay, I was recompted. I was one
Speaker 1: of them hood strippers of fighting in the clubs and
Speaker 1: all that. When I got with Shawna, it was like,
Speaker 1: you can't do that because we have a different crowd.
Speaker 1: I hang out with a different type of people, and
Speaker 1: that's when I was introduced to the celebrities, the rappers,
Speaker 1: the ball players, the Hollywood lifestyle. And so even in that,
Speaker 1: with the money and the clientele of the celebrities and
Speaker 1: high profile people, you still you're still not fulfilled.
Speaker 3: You're miserable.
Speaker 2: I don't care how they portray it.
Speaker 1: I've never met even the women that I work with
Speaker 1: today that are because I work my ministry is different.
Speaker 1: I always out from that other church. I'm not super religious.
Speaker 1: It's not I don't fit anywhere the church. I don't
Speaker 1: fit in the church because they say I'm too worldly,
Speaker 1: and I don't fit in the world.
Speaker 2: They say I'm too churchy. So you know, I'm in
Speaker 2: my own lane.
Speaker 1: But I deal with a lot of women who are
Speaker 1: sex workers, even men who have prostituted themselves. I never
Speaker 1: sat with a happy prostitute, porn star, orstriper.
Speaker 3: Now do you feel like out of the women you
Speaker 3: know and men, I will I will say in my twenties, they.
Speaker 5: Made it seem like they did it because they enjoyed
Speaker 5: it or they liked it. I will say at thirty
Speaker 5: five now the people who have either had to go
Speaker 5: back to resort to it, or the women that at
Speaker 5: their lowest right now would rather ask me or someone
Speaker 5: for help before laying on their back. Because that's my
Speaker 5: thing too. I mean, they've all laid on their back.
Speaker 5: A lot of my friends have laid on their back
Speaker 5: from me, And so I even be like bro at
Speaker 5: some point though, in your big age, just go do
Speaker 5: it again.
Speaker 3: In the way how they.
Speaker 5: Feel about themselves now and how they've worked through traumas
Speaker 5: or childhood things or their self worth, they physically cannot
Speaker 5: imagine doing it again.
Speaker 3: You know, like I find up going back to an
Speaker 3: office job for you well, no no, no, no, no
Speaker 3: no no no not even cloth, not no no, no, let
Speaker 3: tell and I'm going to die on this sword O.
Speaker 3: Nobody wants to go back to something that they had
Speaker 3: to do before they elevated. And a lot of the
Speaker 3: times when we talk about sex work because everybody else
Speaker 3: congratulates you when you're done. That's why I think people
Speaker 3: don't want to go back.
Speaker 5: Do you think you know the image of doing it?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 5: If I, if I, if I think about going back
Speaker 5: to a job, you literally said on the break, I'll
Speaker 5: never never go back to office.
Speaker 3: I don't want to go no, no, no.
Speaker 5: But night and day from me saying literally, I wouldn't
Speaker 5: even know today what my price would be like because
Speaker 5: of there was pride in actually working at Goldman Sachs
Speaker 5: and things like that at this big age.
Speaker 3: And in the book.
Speaker 5: That we talk about survival sex, there's no pride that
Speaker 5: I have in having to sleep with men that I
Speaker 5: didn't like to pay a bill.
Speaker 3: But this time you don't get rich guys to give
Speaker 3: you cash. No, no, no, no.
Speaker 5: There's a big difference from also dating men who give
Speaker 5: me money than me having to date.
Speaker 3: Yes, I have sex.
Speaker 5: A man for my line with sugaring, and I'm not
Speaker 5: I'm not sugared.
Speaker 3: By any men in my life talking about you. I'm
Speaker 3: talking about thin line between cash for money. Say, if
Speaker 3: you are a sugar baby, you are a sect work.
Speaker 3: That's a prostitution.
Speaker 5: I'm saying a woman dealing with a man with money
Speaker 5: who gets her money and she likes the man, and
Speaker 5: they're in a relationship.
Speaker 3: That's different. That's way different. In a relationship is also
Speaker 3: different from women dating somebody. They'd be like, oh, girl,
Speaker 3: you know he'd be giving me x y Z. This
Speaker 3: is all just subjective to me. All of it is
Speaker 3: sex work. This whole hierarchy of.
Speaker 5: It can't But if a woman, if a woman can
Speaker 5: make the money to live on her own and not
Speaker 5: have to depend on a man, I highly think that
Speaker 5: ninety nine point nine percent of women, if they had
Speaker 5: the skills, the degrees, the ability to make money without
Speaker 5: having to lay on their back to not having to
Speaker 5: depend on a man.
Speaker 3: I think some of these girls that wouldn't do that
Speaker 3: would also date a rich dude that was fucking them,
Speaker 3: didn't care about them and giving them money. They will,
Speaker 3: But I would say that's all of the same, and
Speaker 3: we act like prostitutes that are on the blade or
Speaker 3: fig are different from a lot of the I'm not
Speaker 3: saying that.
Speaker 5: She's saying though, that none of them are genuinely happy
Speaker 5: with having to do that to live.
Speaker 3: So this is they wouldn't choose.
Speaker 1: A woman who is dating a man because he has
Speaker 1: money or she likes him, or he's taking care of
Speaker 1: her is different from a woman who has to wake
Speaker 1: up and go online or pick up her phone and
Speaker 1: sleep with strangers to fend for her life. I agree
Speaker 1: with that that's different. So if I meet a guy,
Speaker 1: If I'm single and I meet a guy and he
Speaker 1: has money, and he's not super attractive, but I know
Speaker 1: he has money, and I'm gonna give him a chance
Speaker 1: because he has money, and as time goes on, I
Speaker 1: start to like him. Did you get to know a
Speaker 1: person sometimes you start to like him the ugly day
Speaker 1: that like they say, if he got another one that
Speaker 1: feel big grow on you. But me having to wake
Speaker 1: up and go and sleep with different men so that
Speaker 1: I can have a roof over my head so that
Speaker 1: I can feed my kids, but I can pay my bills.
Speaker 1: I've never met a woman, whether she's on OnlyFans, whether
Speaker 1: she's on the track or in the strip club, who
Speaker 1: is genuinely happy with this decision.
Speaker 3: I think that it is different from the level of
Speaker 3: sex work. And I only say this because I have
Speaker 3: ten women in my phone that are fucking ball players
Speaker 3: that don't care about them that they're sharing around with
Speaker 3: different friends X Y Z, and I bet they would
Speaker 3: do it again and again and again because the money
Speaker 3: looks different. It's less of a risk. And I also
Speaker 3: believe that the luxury lifestyle is a high that I
Speaker 3: don't think a lot of women would get off of.
Speaker 3: But what I'm saying that to me is happy prostituting now,
Speaker 3: whether it's short lived or not, I don't think. I
Speaker 3: think this is all of this.
Speaker 5: You've talked about these same girls though, that deal with
Speaker 5: these ballers that then cry because they're not being seen more.
Speaker 5: Of course, I agree with talking about that, but I
Speaker 5: agree with what you said. I've not met one you
Speaker 5: saying that you have not met one woman that is
Speaker 5: happy being degraded. And I think that again, when you
Speaker 5: reach a level of self worth, which is what I
Speaker 5: talk about too. So for a lot of women, they
Speaker 5: don't know they're unhappy because they don't see themselves as
Speaker 5: someone that is deserving. And I talk about that in
Speaker 5: my journey with even men. Now casual sex is different
Speaker 5: from me now like there, I finally feel like I'm
Speaker 5: deserving of a man caring about what I'm doing in life,
Speaker 5: considering me my feelings, talking about that, like caring about
Speaker 5: what's happening with my family.
Speaker 3: I deserve that.
Speaker 5: And so now the idea of being with a man
Speaker 5: who doesn't propulses me.
Speaker 3: And I think that that's the thing too.
Speaker 5: There's so many women that haven't gotten to that place yet,
Speaker 5: absolutely of valuing.
Speaker 3: Themselves, So the PM don't know that they are in
Speaker 3: the place. I agree. I think that's really what I'm
Speaker 3: talking about here. So then I'm curious for you, when
Speaker 3: was the turning point?
Speaker 5: Because you you thought it was all for a while,
Speaker 5: the lifestyle, hanging with the ballers, the actors, the celebrities,
Speaker 5: going on the trips, the yachts, the was fine.
Speaker 3: But what happened?
Speaker 5: What was the turning point of you saying this, this
Speaker 5: ain't right.
Speaker 1: Well, going back to what Weezie says, she said, luxury
Speaker 1: is fun. It is right, but what you have to
Speaker 1: do for it is what changes the dynamics. And so
Speaker 1: even though like you said, all of those things were great, right,
Speaker 1: but my drug intake increased. I overdose three times because
Speaker 1: I could not be sober doing that.
Speaker 2: I had to be high. I had to be drunk.
Speaker 1: I had to I literally would wake up and take
Speaker 1: a shot of Jose Quavo before I brushed my teeth
Speaker 1: and got out of the bed so that I can
Speaker 1: function in the lifestyle. To have the luxury stuff, I
Speaker 1: had to sniff a line of coke and pop almost
Speaker 1: three pills of ecstasy just to be able to get
Speaker 1: through a weekend of sleeping with strangers for money.
Speaker 2: And so yes, I had all of these things, but
Speaker 2: I was dying. There's a scripture. I know we don't
Speaker 2: go to churches.
Speaker 1: There is a scripture that says, what profit is it
Speaker 1: to a man to gain the whole world and lose
Speaker 1: his soul? Which means you can have everything given to you,
Speaker 1: all the luxuries in the world, and still.
Speaker 2: Be dying on the inside.
Speaker 1: And I think that's where a lot of us, that's
Speaker 1: where we misconstrue the image of sex work because it
Speaker 1: looks like they're bawling, it looks like they're having a
Speaker 1: great time, and they are in that moment, but when
Speaker 1: the hide comes down and when the sobriety kicks back in.
Speaker 2: Now you got to deal with you.
Speaker 1: Now you got to look yourself in the mirror and say,
Speaker 1: I got this bag because of all the men I
Speaker 1: just slept with. I got this house and I'm living
Speaker 1: in this penthouse in this high rise.
Speaker 2: But this is what I have to continue to do
Speaker 2: to keep it. That's where it starts.
Speaker 5: Do you ever, you're about to cry?
Speaker 3: It's so literally, Yes.
Speaker 2: What you're willing to do for it is with changing.
Speaker 5: But also are what you have to do because you
Speaker 5: need a your head, you need to eat or like
Speaker 5: and I taught it like that was my hardest chapter
Speaker 5: in this book, because yeah, it doesn't feel good. And
Speaker 5: when you get into therapy and you realize that, when
Speaker 5: you have to hold that mirror up and realize what
Speaker 5: you thought was fun, the trips and all that, and
Speaker 5: it's like wow, Like you look at yourself and it's like, wow,
Speaker 5: you didn't think nothing of yourself.
Speaker 1: Nothing nothing, because you said something earlier. Women who could
Speaker 1: get it on their own. It if we could get
Speaker 1: on our own, it's so much more satisfying and so
Speaker 1: much more rewarding versus standing in the mirror knowing I
Speaker 1: got this if you did it because you built a
Speaker 1: platform and you built businesses versus I did it because
Speaker 1: I sucked the a million penises.
Speaker 2: You understand what I'm saying. We got the same thing,
Speaker 2: but what it costs me more?
Speaker 5: Yeah, you understand even when it costs you, the cost
Speaker 5: wasn't there.
Speaker 3: But inside, yeah.
Speaker 1: It's my morals, my soul. It wasn't hard work if
Speaker 1: you built it. Because the hard work versus I built
Speaker 1: it on my back. It doesn't equal out this And
Speaker 1: then it goes back to self worth. What do you
Speaker 1: think of yourself to let multiple strangers do whatever they
Speaker 1: want to you. You don't get to pick and choose
Speaker 1: because once, I mean, you can say no. But once
Speaker 1: you're in that room and they didn't gave you that money,
Speaker 1: they can do what they want. They can say what
Speaker 1: they want to say to you. They can come where
Speaker 1: they want to come, they can call you what they
Speaker 1: want to call you. They can do whatever. And once
Speaker 1: you're in the moment, what you're gonna do as a woman.
Speaker 3: You know what's hard about this conversation For me? Many
Speaker 3: people have heard me tell the story, But I do
Speaker 3: a TV show called sex Cells, and we explore businesses
Speaker 3: and how they make money from sex. I was brought
Speaker 3: a TV show called Sexit, and they initially wanted me
Speaker 3: to Hope and I've done sex Sell Now my four
Speaker 3: season and Sexit. They wanted me to cover people that
Speaker 3: were leaving the sex industry, and I was like, well,
Speaker 3: I can't do that on this platform or where. I
Speaker 3: celebrate sex and I celebrate autonomy. And there's a big
Speaker 3: part of me, as much as I can feel this
Speaker 3: moment and be empathic, that still stands on wanting women
Speaker 3: to be able to have the right to do what they.
Speaker 5: Know, and I want to be clear my journey, her journey.
Speaker 5: We can I'm still pro sex.
Speaker 3: But no why I'm saying this though. I think it's
Speaker 3: because I refuse to believe all of it is bad,
Speaker 3: but by the notion that nobody is happy, it's hard
Speaker 3: to then celebrate something if I think people are going
Speaker 3: to be in a dark place. I want anybody that
Speaker 3: wants to make money safely to not hate that they
Speaker 3: have to do this or feel like they're lower down
Speaker 3: and out. And that's what makes it hard, because I've
Speaker 3: felt like that. I've also had sex for money. I've
Speaker 3: been there, and then I wasn't. I've had ups and
Speaker 3: downs and lows like we all have. But it's hard
Speaker 3: because I don't intrinsically, intrinsically believe that every single sex
Speaker 3: worker can be unhappy. I think that circumstantial sex, which
Speaker 3: is what both of you are talking about, is what
Speaker 3: makes us unhappy. I need to have sex for my rent,
Speaker 3: and that's tough. I need to have sex or else
Speaker 3: this is my last option.
Speaker 2: But there are.
Speaker 3: Other sex workers in the world that let's look at
Speaker 3: the highest paid porn star or whatever. How come they
Speaker 3: haven't pulled out yet? There is just said it.
Speaker 2: They're the highest paid.
Speaker 3: But that's what I'm saying, right, I think, And that's
Speaker 3: the circumstance versus choice. So when someone is making the
Speaker 3: choice to do it because they're either enjoying they're celebrated,
Speaker 3: et cetera lifestyle, but also being celebrated, I don't know,
Speaker 3: and I know that this is a hard convo to have,
Speaker 3: but I can't be who I am for the last
Speaker 3: ten years and believe that everyone is unhappy.
Speaker 1: Let me say this, and even with the show and
Speaker 1: gear to those who want to do you know, like
Speaker 1: you said, choice versus circumstance, you have a platform where
Speaker 1: you celebrate it. So of course, if I'm still in
Speaker 1: the porn industry, I'm a come on here and talk
Speaker 1: about the great things about the porn industry and the
Speaker 1: money that it brings. And I'm going to act like
Speaker 1: I'm so happy and this is so wonderful because that's
Speaker 1: the platform that I'm in. But half those people that
Speaker 1: have been on your show, send them to me and
Speaker 1: let me have a conversation with them. I guarantee you
Speaker 1: the conversation is going to be different. The same people
Speaker 1: you have had on your platform that celebrate sex work
Speaker 1: and they love it and it's this, that and the third.
Speaker 2: Let me sit down and talk to them.
Speaker 3: But I'm in this conversation too, and I've sold myself right,
Speaker 3: And I think, how did you feel? Well? I never
Speaker 3: had it because I needed to. It was sugar daddy is.
Speaker 3: It was things like that. It was never for food.
Speaker 3: It was a different story, which is probably why I'm
Speaker 3: able to have this conversation. Like, I know I didn't
Speaker 3: feel that way, and why said, I can be empathic,
Speaker 3: but at any point I could have stopped. I did
Speaker 3: that with a corporate job, right, like because it was this,
Speaker 3: Oh well, he can give me this at a bigger
Speaker 3: apartment or et cetera. And that's what I at least
Speaker 3: my choice. That's what I hope every story i'd hear
Speaker 3: is it was a girl who was safe. And I've
Speaker 3: had sexual assault happened, but it wasn't from any of
Speaker 3: those transactional moments, right, So it's it's a different and
Speaker 3: it's it's not me trying to say this the latest
Speaker 3: and that never happened to me. I know why. I
Speaker 3: can tell that story in a different way, but I but.
Speaker 2: You never had a sugar daddy.
Speaker 3: Well, no, I had a sugar daddy that we could
Speaker 3: beleeve the South. I have a question for you. We
Speaker 3: can bleep it up. You felt that way. It was
Speaker 3: not a sugar daddy, was a sugar daddy. I didn't
Speaker 3: love it, but I also at the same time, you
Speaker 3: got to remember I didn't need to do it in
Speaker 3: that moment. So I believe that because I've never been
Speaker 3: pushed to this is it or die? I think that's
Speaker 3: why I hadn't had those super super low moments.
Speaker 2: Did you enjoy it?
Speaker 3: I mean my chapter that's not true. Please don't speak
Speaker 3: for me. My chapter is very different.
Speaker 5: And I wouldn't say, no, I'm talking I'm talking about that.
Speaker 2: No, No, I'm talking about you.
Speaker 3: I think I hate my job. Sometimes I love my job.
Speaker 3: But what I will tell you is there were ninety
Speaker 3: percent highs for me in this. And also I had
Speaker 3: a lot of business acumen while I was sleeping with
Speaker 3: someone for money right like mine is called. I think
Speaker 3: it's like why buy persons when you could buy stocks?
Speaker 3: There's a lot of and maybe because also I always
Speaker 3: my next question to you before we started talking about
Speaker 3: this was actually, did you ever have an exit plan?
Speaker 3: And what was your job or business you wanted to start?
Speaker 3: Because I think everybody wanted that I did it. Maybe
Speaker 3: every woman did not write or get their chance to write.
Speaker 3: We're always saying I'm gonna do X y Z, this
Speaker 3: is gonna be over, I'm gonna stop selling drugs. I'm
Speaker 3: gonna start doing this right. So that's where I'm in
Speaker 3: this crossroad of this conversation because while I feel like
Speaker 3: God called you to be a pastlor leader in your
Speaker 3: life and having these experience and helping people out of
Speaker 3: that lifestyle, I don't know if it's all one hundred
Speaker 3: percent bad. The only thing I think is one hundred
Speaker 3: sent bad is drug use or being abusive to other people.
Speaker 3: But having autonomy of your own body and making money
Speaker 3: on it.
Speaker 1: I don't know calling an autonomy and making money off
Speaker 1: your body whatever. Whatever it takes to make it sound
Speaker 1: good for a lot of people, they say, whatever it
Speaker 1: takes for you to sleep at night. It still doesn't
Speaker 1: take away the fact that we let people degrade us
Speaker 1: for a dollar.
Speaker 3: Do you think it should be illegal? I think it.
Speaker 2: Is illegal, isn't it. Prostitution is illegal, right, I.
Speaker 3: Guess all across the board, Like there's brothels, like, oh,
Speaker 3: like escort websites are legal, but you can't have some
Speaker 3: Like do you think it should all be out so
Speaker 3: that women don't have this option?
Speaker 5: I think it should be legal to be safer. It
Speaker 5: being illegal creates a lot more agree, Yeah, Like if
Speaker 5: you legalize it the same way now you legalize weed,
Speaker 5: you can get it on a like it's more regulated.
Speaker 5: If prostitution was legal, there would the more ways that
Speaker 5: you could see the johns or you could that.
Speaker 3: You could hear information. Agreed, everything is dark well because
Speaker 3: of it being illegal for the safety of the women
Speaker 3: actually over anybody else.
Speaker 5: I mean just just from a safety standpoint. But I mean,
Speaker 5: we talk about it being the oldest profession, you know,
Speaker 5: and we can all have different ways of how we
Speaker 5: view happy one hundred percent unhappy whatever. But wait, let
Speaker 5: me say this.
Speaker 2: Don't get it twisted.
Speaker 1: I had moments where I had good times, yeah, but
Speaker 1: they were short lived once the high wore down, once
Speaker 1: the high WARLF wants to drink in all of that,
Speaker 1: and I had to deal with the reality of what
Speaker 1: I was doing.
Speaker 3: The start of your story answers at all, I don't
Speaker 3: even know how. I think even your high times a're
Speaker 3: just better than the last. Like, to me, it's very
Speaker 3: painful to be a teenager and go through that. You know,
Speaker 3: I'm not centing adult at the time that this is
Speaker 3: happening for me right and hearing you talk about that,
Speaker 3: it's just like it's terrifying because I want to have children,
Speaker 3: imagineing them just on the internet. It's like, you never know.
Speaker 3: One of my close friends she told me her sister
Speaker 3: was sex trafficked, and the first thing out of my
Speaker 3: mouth was, didn't you all grow up with money? Like,
Speaker 3: because that was really where my brain went. I'm like,
Speaker 3: didn't y'all live in this big a, like, what the
Speaker 3: fuck are you talking about? And she's like, guy on
Speaker 3: the internet, boom took my sister. But you know, that's
Speaker 3: what we assume. We think that these stories come from
Speaker 3: some kind of poverished living or like you couldn't have
Speaker 3: had a good family. Like it's really a kid just
Speaker 3: being a kid and ended up in the wrong place.
Speaker 5: And I'm kind of scared to hear now hearing everything.
Speaker 5: What was your turning point?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, holy like all.
Speaker 5: Of this sounds scary, but what was the turning point
Speaker 5: that you were like, this is it?
Speaker 2: Yeah? So a guy flew me to New York.
Speaker 1: I was in LA and it was nothing unusual because
Speaker 1: men flew me out. You know, this is back in
Speaker 1: craigslist days, back page days, so my Space, things of
Speaker 1: that nature. So contacted me online, said he wanted me
Speaker 1: to come to New York. Nothing out of the norm
Speaker 1: you know, long story short. He flew me from LA
Speaker 1: to New York on a one way ticket. So it
Speaker 1: was a disaster from the beginning. But I'm high out
Speaker 1: of my mind, you know, I'm going to New York.
Speaker 2: Going to New York, go get this money, and I'm
Speaker 2: coming back.
Speaker 1: He got me everything he said to me online was
Speaker 1: a lie from where he lived, where he drove all
Speaker 1: of the things. But the first three days he winded
Speaker 1: on me. He took me to get drugs, He took
Speaker 1: me shopping, he took meat to eat. You know, he
Speaker 1: gave me money. We end up going to a club
Speaker 1: in Manhattan. I'm there to work.
Speaker 2: I'm there.
Speaker 1: You know, this is not a girlfriend boyfriend thing. You
Speaker 1: paid for a prostitute. So when he went to the bathroom,
Speaker 1: I started trying to work, you know, I was talking
Speaker 1: to other guys, and he saw me, got really really upset,
Speaker 1: and he dragged me out of the club and he
Speaker 1: fought me until we got into the cart. Now I'm hood,
Speaker 1: I'm an fight back a little bit. But he looked
Speaker 1: at me with such a devious look in his eyes,
Speaker 1: and he said, I'm going to kill you. You are
Speaker 1: not going to leave here. And like I said, as
Speaker 1: a prostitute, I went through a lot of things on
Speaker 1: the streets, but this was different. He ended up taking
Speaker 1: me to this old, abandoned house and took me into
Speaker 1: a basement and it looked like something out of a
Speaker 1: horror movie. It was a big basement, but it had
Speaker 1: a small room. In the room was an old TV.
Speaker 1: It was a boarded up window, a small closet and
Speaker 1: a mattress on the floor with like a sheet on it.
Speaker 1: And he threw me in his basement and he raped
Speaker 1: me and he beat me. He was a Haitian man,
Speaker 1: so he chanted voodoo over me. He tried to do rituals,
Speaker 1: and he told me over and over again, you're going
Speaker 1: to die. I'm going to kill you. And when they
Speaker 1: say you have near death experiences and like your life
Speaker 1: flashes before your eyes, it is true.
Speaker 2: I knew that. I knew that he was going to
Speaker 2: kill me.
Speaker 1: It was like after he got done with his torturing
Speaker 1: and whatever he would get off one. He was very statistic,
Speaker 1: so I felt like once he got done doing whatever
Speaker 1: he needed to do to please him, he was going to.
Speaker 2: Kill me again. I told y'all, I stayed in church.
Speaker 1: No matter what I did, no matter how I lived,
Speaker 1: I still went to church. I still had a prayer life.
Speaker 1: It was very low, but I had one. He would
Speaker 1: leave me in that basement for hours at a time,
Speaker 1: and it was one particular day because I felt like
Speaker 1: the time was coming. I was only supposed to be
Speaker 1: in New York for like three days. I was in
Speaker 1: there for almost three weeks in his basement. What yeah,
Speaker 1: I was supposed to be there three days?
Speaker 3: How are you counting time?
Speaker 2: I watched the sun go up and down? Wow, watch
Speaker 2: the sun go up and down.
Speaker 3: It's almost like hearing about a movie. Literally literally literally
Speaker 3: there's a Kennedy Ryan books where she has the same story. Yes,
Speaker 3: because this is a movie.
Speaker 1: It is speaking girl. I wanted to be play now,
Speaker 1: but thank you. And so he would leave me in
Speaker 1: that basement. And it was one particular day I said
Speaker 1: he gonna kill me. I just knew, I felt it.
Speaker 1: I was nineteen years old. Were you like, how could
Speaker 1: you not escape? Were you like changers? Or you were
Speaker 1: just scared? I so the door that he had me,
Speaker 1: the room he had me, and it locked from the outside. Okay,
Speaker 1: so he would have to unlock the lover movie this
Speaker 1: is the house Maid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And his mom
Speaker 1: he would let me go.
Speaker 5: If I need to pick up my mouth because I'm
Speaker 5: just like his mom was an house No.
Speaker 1: Yeah, one time he let me go upstairs to take
Speaker 1: a shower. And I'm assuming that was his mom. He
Speaker 1: was an older lady, but she spoke no English. They
Speaker 1: were Haitian, so she only spoke creole French. So I
Speaker 1: was trying to get her attention. He was watching me
Speaker 1: though the whole time, and I'm trying to get her attention.
Speaker 1: She she was like, I'm a mine my business. And
Speaker 1: plus she didn't speak English, so it was because I
Speaker 1: heard how he's talked to her.
Speaker 2: They didn't.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, I don't know if everybody in the
Speaker 1: house is crazy. It's like that he all have to
Speaker 1: have eyes in this house. I don't know what's going on.
Speaker 1: But she didn't help me. She didn't even look at
Speaker 1: me like she knew. The setup of the basement was
Speaker 1: as if he's done this before.
Speaker 3: I was gonna say, of course he has been, because
Speaker 3: if that night went well, yeah, maybe he would have
Speaker 3: let you go yeah yeah.
Speaker 5: Or he was just waiting to be triggered to yeah.
Speaker 2: Because he brought me on a one way ticket.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, maybe you already had your plan, you
Speaker 1: just didn't think it was gonna go that way. But yeah,
Speaker 1: So he would leave me in the basement, and this
Speaker 1: one particular day, I just knew that the end was coming,
Speaker 1: and something in me said.
Speaker 3: Pray, you knew the end for your life, yeah.
Speaker 1: No, the end for him to kill me, right, And
Speaker 1: so something in me said pray and I prayed, and
Speaker 1: I said, Lord, if you get me out of this,
Speaker 1: I'll change my life. You just don't let me die.
Speaker 1: Don't let me die like this. I'm in New York
Speaker 1: by myself. My family wouldn't even know where to find me.
Speaker 1: They wuldn't even know where to put my body for
Speaker 1: my funeral because all my parents, my mom and my
Speaker 1: grandparents just knew Danielle just met me and with money.
Speaker 1: Nobody knew I was stripping, Nobody knew I was prostituting.
Speaker 1: They sure didn't know about porn at that time. All
Speaker 1: they knew was because I was dating football players, I
Speaker 1: was dating rappers.
Speaker 2: I was in magazine. So they're like, she meets me
Speaker 2: and with money.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And so they wouldn't even know where to find
Speaker 1: And I was just like, God, please don't let me.
Speaker 2: I didn't tell this story. So how many times I
Speaker 2: don't know why I'm getting to.
Speaker 1: Ask because it's so real, and it's just it takes
Speaker 1: me back to a place. That's how nobody can tell
Speaker 1: me God is not real. And I just I called
Speaker 1: on him and I said, please, just don't let me die,
Speaker 1: not like this.
Speaker 2: A few days.
Speaker 1: Later, his friend, for whatever reason, came to that house
Speaker 1: and I'm scared. I'm thinking he's a part of it.
Speaker 1: It's his turn now for whatever reason. And I know
Speaker 1: it was God because he came down there to that
Speaker 1: basement and opened that door, and he looked just as
Speaker 1: horrified as I did, like what's going on? And I'm
Speaker 1: telling him, like, your friend had me locked down here
Speaker 1: because he remember he was in the club with us,
Speaker 1: so he remembered me.
Speaker 2: He was like, you're still here. He didn't know I
Speaker 2: was still in You're.
Speaker 3: In the bathroom in the basement. Every ding is that? Why?
Speaker 1: Like he could what did that room look like that?
Speaker 1: He was like, what's going on? So the basement looked
Speaker 1: like a regular basement. It was a room in the basement,
Speaker 1: like a little room that I was kept in. I
Speaker 1: don't know why that man came downstairs for whatever reason,
Speaker 1: but I thank God that he did. And he heard me,
Speaker 1: or I guess he was calling the dude and he
Speaker 1: was like, hey, where are you at?
Speaker 2: And I was like huh.
Speaker 1: And he opened the door and he's like, because mind you,
Speaker 1: I'm beat up. I look all disarrayed. I'm all jacked up, right,
Speaker 1: So he's like, this ain't the same girl that came
Speaker 1: out and you know, I was beautiful and I look great,
Speaker 1: and now I'm all disoriented and he's like, what's going on?
Speaker 1: Tell him your friend is psycho. He's trying to kill me.
Speaker 1: Please help me out of here. He was like, come on,
Speaker 1: come on, come on. He helped me out, and he
Speaker 1: was like, do you have anywhere to go? I knew
Speaker 1: somebody in New Jersey. He took me to the train station.
Speaker 1: I got on the train and went to New Jersey
Speaker 1: and somebody bought me a flight back to LA and I.
Speaker 2: Never looked back.
Speaker 3: Wait, wait, wait, you almost left the house too quick
Speaker 3: in the story for me when he took you out,
Speaker 3: Where was the God?
Speaker 2: I have no idea, I have no idea.
Speaker 3: So he came here.
Speaker 1: It was nothing but God he was not at the house,
Speaker 1: so I believe he was supposed to meet him there.
Speaker 1: So the friend got there before he did and came
Speaker 1: in the.
Speaker 5: House and came downstairs.
Speaker 1: He not upstairs, so let me go downstairs see if
Speaker 1: he's in the basement or whatever, and end up finding
Speaker 1: me down there.
Speaker 3: Have you ever heard from the guy again? The friend?
Speaker 2: No, the friend who helped you. I didn't want to
Speaker 2: talk to nothing.
Speaker 3: In my head, like did he ever say like, are
Speaker 3: you okay?
Speaker 1: Try to like find like I think he was so
Speaker 1: everybody was. We were all like what's happening? He probably
Speaker 1: like what the what's up with homeboy? I'm still like,
Speaker 1: are you a part of the craziness? But when he
Speaker 1: took me to the train station, that's when it was
Speaker 1: like a wait, like, oh, he really did come to
Speaker 1: help me, he really is helping me, and he got
Speaker 1: me out.
Speaker 2: I took that train to Jersey.
Speaker 1: I got back to la He never never went back,
Speaker 1: never ever, ever ever.
Speaker 3: That's terrifye.
Speaker 5: And then what led you to a life of ministry
Speaker 5: and getting back into this church after the church was
Speaker 5: also a part of this becoming your life.
Speaker 3: Right way right?
Speaker 2: So ministry was never part of the plan, Okay.
Speaker 1: I just wanted to live for God because I think
Speaker 1: a lot of times people think being a Christian or
Speaker 1: being whatever you are, you have to have a title
Speaker 1: or a position.
Speaker 2: You don't, you can you can serve God.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: It's like whenever I make a post, like hey, y'all,
Speaker 3: look out for ice, go be a mayor. You want
Speaker 3: to make a change like Ice out like I.
Speaker 1: Can be, you know, for good things without having to
Speaker 1: really be fully involved.
Speaker 2: And so I just I remember the vow that I
Speaker 2: made it. It made to God. Now, don't get it twisted.
Speaker 1: It was hard because that's all I knew since I
Speaker 1: was fourteen years old. So it was absolutely hard to
Speaker 1: stay on that on that path. But I knew that
Speaker 1: I knew if I went back, I wasn't gonna make
Speaker 1: it out, you know, And so I just wanted to
Speaker 1: be saved and live by the Bible and get it
Speaker 1: into church.
Speaker 3: And what was your like, how did you get normal?
Speaker 3: What was your normal?
Speaker 1: Girl?
Speaker 3: Normal? How did you get normal? How did you get normal? Normal?
Speaker 1: I wanted to be normal. I didn't want ministry, and
Speaker 1: so I did. I end up getting a job at
Speaker 1: the post office where I met my husband.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he was my boss. My husband was my boss.
Speaker 3: This is the story all.
Speaker 2: No, I wrote that before I met him.
Speaker 5: No, now we need a part.
Speaker 3: When I saw your wedding ring, I was so curious, like.
Speaker 5: Oh, go on, this sounds like the American dream from
Speaker 5: prostitution to the post office.
Speaker 3: Right, that was my first job.
Speaker 2: That was my normality. That's all I wow.
Speaker 1: But in the midst of me being normal, God said, no,
Speaker 1: you have too powerful of a story and you didn't
Speaker 1: go a lot of times we don't go through it.
Speaker 1: We go through for ourselves, we go through it for
Speaker 1: somebody else's That's what I feel about this podcast.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is me sharing my.
Speaker 5: Story and us writing this book.
Speaker 3: Yes, it's it's for whoever.
Speaker 2: It's for somebody else.
Speaker 3: To me. When I saw your ring earlier, I think
Speaker 3: to myself, because it's a question people always have for me.
Speaker 3: What is your boyfriend think of your show? Or how
Speaker 3: do you date with a podcast? We've heard that that
Speaker 3: for years. And when I was looking at your ring
Speaker 3: and you're telling the story, I'm like, I wonder if
Speaker 3: he learned to be comfortable or if he just knows people
Speaker 3: need to hear it to go through their own journey this.
Speaker 3: People need to hear this.
Speaker 5: How does yet So, how does your husband feel about
Speaker 5: you sharing this story?
Speaker 3: Was it a conversation?
Speaker 5: How's he gotten comfortable with everyone else knowing that this
Speaker 5: was your your truth?
Speaker 2: Well, when he met me, he knew the story.
Speaker 1: So now he met me, Like I said, he was
Speaker 1: my boss and when we became friends, and he's older
Speaker 1: than me, so he had daughters, all girls, and he
Speaker 1: was like, my daughters need to hear your story, you know,
Speaker 1: they need they need to sit down to hear your
Speaker 1: story and see what what life could be like. So
Speaker 1: he bought a book and Wrottin read the book and
Speaker 1: came back to work and was like, I want to
Speaker 1: show you that all men are not bad and clock
Speaker 1: out what's going to there might be a little too
Speaker 1: much hope for the hose. That it's hope for the
Speaker 1: hose because I hear that. No, they need to hear that,
Speaker 1: because it's a lot of times where we hear once
Speaker 1: a whole, always a hole. Ain't nobody gonna wife you?
Speaker 1: Who's gonna marry you? Knowing you didn't just do your
Speaker 1: strip or just prostitute, but you are on a film,
Speaker 1: you know, and so what man would marry you?
Speaker 2: And they need to know that.
Speaker 1: Listen that kain't nobody when God what they say, When
Speaker 1: God say yeah, can't nobody say no? And if that's
Speaker 1: if you have a desire, I don't care what you
Speaker 1: done in your past.
Speaker 2: If you have a desire for a monogamous relationship.
Speaker 1: If you have a desire for marriage, who in the
Speaker 1: helicopter is is somebody to tell you that you can't
Speaker 1: have that because of your past.
Speaker 5: I'm not gonna lie who in the helicopters?
Speaker 3: That's my safe We're before we get out of here,
Speaker 3: what are your alternate cuss words? Do you say? Frick helicopter?
Speaker 2: And what in the ben diesel is going on?
Speaker 3: What is? And shut the faith up?
Speaker 6: Ye?
Speaker 3: Shut the faith? This is hilarious now now real quick.
Speaker 5: Also before we get out of here, just because I
Speaker 5: think it is important. Not only where can people get
Speaker 5: your book, but when are you bringing it.
Speaker 3: Back to the stage? What's happening? Because from Porn to
Speaker 3: the Pulpit is also now a stage play the play.
Speaker 3: Yeah I can support.
Speaker 2: Okay, So the book is on Amazon.
Speaker 3: Okay, the play.
Speaker 5: Published it is Okay, y'all support, y'all support a self
Speaker 5: published black woman.
Speaker 3: All ferd. They definitely find this book. I don't know.
Speaker 3: I'm excited you ever.
Speaker 5: I thought you were going to tell the book no, no,
Speaker 5: to know that it's I need it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, I gave you snippets. It gets raw in
Speaker 1: the books. So anybody that's overly religious and sensitive. They
Speaker 1: probably gonna be like she's a minister. She wrote, like,
Speaker 1: I'm very real, I'm very transparent. God told me to
Speaker 1: continue to be me. Would you know what you're human?
Speaker 3: That part you're human.
Speaker 1: But sometimes the church makes you feel like you cannot
Speaker 1: be in church, people make you feel like you cannot
Speaker 1: be human.
Speaker 2: But that's okay. You know I'm gonna be her.
Speaker 1: And so the book was written and it saw Amazon.
Speaker 1: I did the stage play. I prayed that I could
Speaker 1: take this worldwide. We did a few shows. We did
Speaker 1: a couple of shows in Atlanta with Young Jock. We've had.
Speaker 3: Who else? You went to Charlotte.
Speaker 1: I went to Charlotte, went to Real car So I
Speaker 1: went to bat and Rouge with Darren Henson. We came
Speaker 1: back to Atlanta with Mama d and Willie Taylor from
Speaker 1: day twenty six And so the goal is.
Speaker 3: How what's the play?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I remember Mama see I know some show now? Yeah?
Speaker 3: It hip hop girl. You know I want to call
Speaker 3: something for you because since I've been doing the show,
Speaker 3: I've had so many opportunities working from any TV show,
Speaker 3: any network. And what I've learned is so many people
Speaker 3: listen to the show. So if you work anywhere where,
Speaker 3: it could be in writing, you could be freelancing. If
Speaker 3: you are somebody that can produce films, or you just
Speaker 3: know someone and can send the email, please do.
Speaker 1: If you are an angel, investor, a sensor, you just
Speaker 1: want you just got money and don't know what to
Speaker 1: do with and give it to me so I can
Speaker 1: take your show around and then make a film. Obviously,
Speaker 1: that's that's the go So.
Speaker 3: I've given a twenty four. It's because listen, you gotta
Speaker 3: think Zola, and this is way more interesting in Sola.
Speaker 3: Sola came from tweets, and I think what we kind
Speaker 3: of forget when we're sharing our story is to ask.
Speaker 3: So I ask all the time, like do you know X,
Speaker 3: Y Z and people I've given jobs to people to
Speaker 3: ask me for stuff. Yeah you know. So you might
Speaker 3: be watching this and may be connected in a way
Speaker 3: that you don't even realize. But it's always very very
Speaker 3: helpful when you're thinking of something.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: Why else? I say that too, whenever I hear a
Speaker 3: good idea from somebody, I want to make money on
Speaker 3: the idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we all are. Girl. I
Speaker 3: think you have all these different actors.
Speaker 5: I'm acting that yeah, yeah, yeah, no, this is this
Speaker 5: is great and you guys supported us and helped us
Speaker 5: become New York Times bestsellers. So if you're looking for
Speaker 5: a book, this is non fiction, okay.
Speaker 3: And so was our book.
Speaker 5: So make sure that you again support this independent book.
Speaker 5: And and whenever you get it back to back on.
Speaker 3: The road, let us know.
Speaker 5: We would love to let our audience know where they
Speaker 5: can come and find you online.
Speaker 1: Oh I am on what all the platforms? Facebook, Instagram, TikTok,
Speaker 1: is that anything else?
Speaker 5: You give your name and we'll put minister Danny and
Speaker 5: and it'll be in the description of this episode as well.
Speaker 5: And thank you so much for coming on and sharing
Speaker 5: your story.
Speaker 3: Be too churchy.
Speaker 1: So if y'all let the past, thank y'all listen.
Speaker 3: I know, y'all, he wants to stay the happiness. But
Speaker 3: you know what, I find that it's good to have
Speaker 3: conversations that gets sticky because the thought is still there.
Speaker 3: Yeah you know what I mean, Like now I gave
Speaker 3: the trigger one and I'm over here. Yeah, not everything here. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I always say you don't have to have done porn
Speaker 1: or been a prostitute to relate to some aspect of
Speaker 1: my story, whether it's self work, self worth, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: whether it's drugs, alcohol, whether it's molestation, essay, things of
Speaker 1: that nature, or just you know the relationship with your
Speaker 1: mother or your You are going to see something about
Speaker 1: yourself within my story without having to tram It's crazy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if you anything, you went there before I's in
Speaker 3: that book. That's what you're saying.
Speaker 5: Thank friend, Well, thank you so so much for joining us.
Speaker 3: This was wow different.
Speaker 5: You know, I know we've been doing the solo pods,
Speaker 5: but hopefully you like the direction.
Speaker 3: But this was it had to be beyond saving them
Speaker 3: to be happy. But they're gonna be real happy.
Speaker 5: No, this was great, and I hope that you'all see
Speaker 5: our improvement on our interview skills.
Speaker 2: You know you did very well, y'all, didn't y'all changed.
Speaker 3: Look at Wazzy dressed. I'm I ain't never seen weazy
Speaker 3: little wholesome. She looked like a wholesome point like she
Speaker 3: just did my choir.
Speaker 5: I was telling me, I said, this was the outfit
Speaker 5: when I go to my boyfriend's people.
Speaker 3: So that's what I consider a church. Bi Barri and
Speaker 3: I just knew I want you know they church too.
Speaker 3: They do a Happy Birthday for like, there's a bunch
Speaker 3: of nieces and nephews and after they sing Happy Birthday,
Speaker 3: they start singing Jay you I'm not joking, singing for
Speaker 3: Jesus too. Yeah, have birthday and then I'd be like
Speaker 3: I I way to a threesome. Baby. Oh my godness.
Speaker 5: Well, guys, hope you enjoyed this episode. Make sure again
Speaker 5: you purchased from Porn to the Pulpit. Make sure you
Speaker 5: also purchased no holds bar to doing manifesto Sexual Exploration
Speaker 5: and Power, and make sure if you want the sex
Speaker 5: and raws and the X rated ship, head on over
Speaker 5: to ship Can I say ship ship? If you want
Speaker 5: the X rayed shit off the stop, head on over
Speaker 5: to the Patreon that's patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions Baby, hallelujah. Y'all,
Speaker 5: so much for tuning in to another episode of Decisions.
Speaker 3: Decisions should ask for donations? Yeah, passed off Patreon. Bye, y'all.