WEBVTT - We Don't Promise Perfection

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<v Speaker 1>We're cleaning out to sound fridge. That's spelled f G

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<v Speaker 1>d g S. It's one more.

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<v Speaker 2>Thing, one more thing, the sound fridge.

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<v Speaker 3>Who came up with this idea?

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<v Speaker 4>I believe it was my creative genius.

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<v Speaker 2>It's like.

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<v Speaker 3>Clean not your fridge every now and then. You got

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<v Speaker 3>stuff hanging around and there you get rid of it.

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<v Speaker 3>And we got clips that we haven't used in a

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<v Speaker 3>while or didn't use, and gotta get rid of them.

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<v Speaker 4>And if we don't.

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<v Speaker 1>Eat them soon they will spoil and no longer be palatable.

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<v Speaker 4>So we'll use them today.

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<v Speaker 5>Yes, Katie, I'm usually really good about cleaning out my fridge.

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<v Speaker 5>And boy did I find some leftovers in there yesterday

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<v Speaker 5>that I was like, well, I don't even remember getting that.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I hate the one that bothers me is oh crap,

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<v Speaker 3>Why didn't I eat that?

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<v Speaker 4>I brought that home. That was expensive, that was good.

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<v Speaker 3>I made that and it was really turned out great.

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<v Speaker 3>Now I was gonna eat I didn't. I hate when

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<v Speaker 3>I waste food like that.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, yeah, yep.

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<v Speaker 3>Summer. So this first one, just this is a follow

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<v Speaker 3>up to a clip that went viral the day before

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<v Speaker 3>the Mayor of Philadelphia. It was all excited about the

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<v Speaker 3>Eagles being in the playoffs, misspelling Eagles, and she explains

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<v Speaker 3>why she did it. It also includes the original e clip

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<v Speaker 3>we don't promise perfection. I'm so happy that I never have,

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<v Speaker 3>especially after.

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<v Speaker 4>I couldn't spell eagles right.

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<v Speaker 3>Hey ow gee, yes, yes, let's go birds. We don't

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<v Speaker 3>promise perfection is her explanation for that. But somebody texted

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<v Speaker 3>and it's absolutely true. The Philly mayor sounds exactly like

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<v Speaker 3>the principle on Abbot Elementary. It's almost as if she's

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<v Speaker 3>playing the character and that show's supposed to be taking

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<v Speaker 3>place in Philadelphia. If you've never watched The Abbott Elementary,

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<v Speaker 3>Henry and I got into it for a while, you

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<v Speaker 3>know it wins a bunch of Emmys for a comedy

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<v Speaker 3>like that good show, funny show. It's a black school

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<v Speaker 3>struggling in Philadelphia and this hard working teacher is just

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<v Speaker 3>trying to do good on a little budget and everything.

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<v Speaker 3>It's a good story, good show, and it's funny. But

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<v Speaker 3>the principle is exactly that woman there not real bright,

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<v Speaker 3>understands how to work the system, managed to be principal

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<v Speaker 3>of the school. Only cares about fluff, but sounds exactly

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<v Speaker 3>like her. That's funny that that is so true in

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<v Speaker 3>the same town somebody who climbed up the ladder.

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<v Speaker 6>I know.

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<v Speaker 1>It's not a coincidence. I think that's the roles she's playing. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I wonder if she modeled the role after the mayor.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh wow, very well, could be who.

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<v Speaker 1>Was briefly in English teach? Yeah, again, clear why it

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<v Speaker 1>was a brief career there.

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<v Speaker 3>I'll bet you're right.

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<v Speaker 4>Not only can I not.

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<v Speaker 1>Teach Shakespeare, I can't spell it. So I guess we'll

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<v Speaker 1>watch this.

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<v Speaker 4>Videos he.

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<v Speaker 3>Let's go birds, so.

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<v Speaker 4>We are he didn't opt sound Fridge.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know where Michael Angelo keeps metal Guy and

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<v Speaker 1>Hanson's filling in today, so I'll just do that for him.

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<v Speaker 4>Hey, did we play I can't remember if we played

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<v Speaker 4>this joke.

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<v Speaker 1>Here's a Jostin Chay from Saturday Night Live number five, Michael.

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<v Speaker 3>Speech to the nation.

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<v Speaker 7>President of Biden defended his administration's accomplishments by ending every

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<v Speaker 7>sentence with you ungrateful bastards.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh yeah, I guess we did do that.

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<v Speaker 3>That is funny though.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah. Yeah, Oh, Bill Maher.

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<v Speaker 3>I dropped inflation by twenty seven percent. You ungrateful bastards.

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<v Speaker 1>Except you didn't lie in Old coot Bill Maher was

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<v Speaker 1>forgive Me on Fire last Friday talking about the LA

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<v Speaker 1>fires and his as usual, absolutely right on criticism of

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<v Speaker 1>Gabby Newsom and Karen Bass and the rest. Let's let's

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<v Speaker 1>play a couple of them. How about Eleven Hanson?

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<v Speaker 2>The good news is.

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<v Speaker 8>Our fire chief is a lesbian?

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<v Speaker 4>Am I against a lesbian being? Of course not.

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<v Speaker 8>Do I think a lesbian can do the job? Of

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<v Speaker 8>course I do. And maybe she's the best person for

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<v Speaker 8>the job, or maybe they really wanted a lesbian in

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<v Speaker 8>that job and she's just the best lesbian for the job,

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<v Speaker 8>and with essential services.

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<v Speaker 4>That's not good enough.

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<v Speaker 8>Crowley's official bio says Chief Crowley leads a diverse department, creating, supporting,

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<v Speaker 8>and promoting a culture that values diversity, inclusion, and equity

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<v Speaker 8>while striving to meet and exceed the expectations of the communities. Well,

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<v Speaker 8>you didn't exceed my expectations, which was that the whole

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<v Speaker 8>city wouldn't burn down. But it's telling that diversity is

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<v Speaker 8>mentioned twice before we get to while while striving to

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<v Speaker 8>meet expectations. Now, can you do two things at once?

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<v Speaker 5>Yes?

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<v Speaker 4>But it matters where your head is.

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<v Speaker 3>So incredibly obvious. Yet no lefty Bill Maher, lifelong progressive,

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<v Speaker 3>one of the leading lights of progressivism over the last

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<v Speaker 3>two for decades, going around speaking to colleges, which he

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<v Speaker 3>no longer does because they're speech police, now saying the

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<v Speaker 3>obvious thing. I like the way he started. Here's the

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<v Speaker 3>good news are fire chiefs of lesbian.

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<v Speaker 4>He is very funny. And then finally this from Bill number.

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<v Speaker 9>Thirteen now is well, that's the main reason for the fires.

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<v Speaker 9>Of course not, but it's also not wrong to associate

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<v Speaker 9>some of the unforced errors our government made with the

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<v Speaker 9>things normies see as hallmarks of uber progressive politics. Questionable

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<v Speaker 9>budget priorities, high taxes.

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<v Speaker 8>That get you nothing, making everything about identity politics, virtue

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<v Speaker 8>signaling overseas instead of tending to the nuts and bolts

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<v Speaker 8>at home. CALLI has no shortage of safety commissions and

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<v Speaker 8>agencies and bureaucrats and regulators, and of course sign language

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<v Speaker 8>interpreters who communicate with their faith but common sense. We

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<v Speaker 8>better get some of that soon, because wildfires in California

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<v Speaker 8>are like boom jobs in a strip club, inevitable, and

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<v Speaker 8>they're only going to get bigger.

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<v Speaker 1>You know the sign language with sign language interpreter thing.

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<v Speaker 1>I've long wondered about this because every modern television has

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<v Speaker 1>closed captioning, and if anybody knows about that, it's deaf folks.

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<v Speaker 1>So what is the raw number, never mind the percentage

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<v Speaker 1>of the populace, or what is the well we ever answer,

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<v Speaker 1>the raw number of deaf people who are watching news

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<v Speaker 1>shows but have no access to either the close captioning

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<v Speaker 1>that comes on the TV or the add ons that

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<v Speaker 1>have been made available for deaf people so they can

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<v Speaker 1>watch TV for years and years.

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<v Speaker 3>That's existed, Right, You'd have to be deaf taking it live,

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<v Speaker 3>because when you get it later, you could get it

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<v Speaker 3>in a way where you could hear it all kinds

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<v Speaker 3>of software. For that, you have to be taking it live.

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<v Speaker 3>You have to be deaf, and you not to you

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<v Speaker 3>don't have close caption That's a very small number of people.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, yeah, what is going on? And now it's completely obligatory, right.

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<v Speaker 3>Anyway, some lawsuit in the past or something. It's so

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<v Speaker 3>virtual signaling. And as we know, Obama had the fake

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<v Speaker 3>guy next to him a couple of times and it

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<v Speaker 3>took a long time for anybody.

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<v Speaker 2>It's hilarious.

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<v Speaker 4>Yes, that's in the tough in all time of humanity.

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<v Speaker 3>But it took a long time for anybody to find

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<v Speaker 3>out because it's not actually necessary.

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<v Speaker 4>Well right, right, that was.

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<v Speaker 3>Such a troll move before trolls were even a thing.

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<v Speaker 3>It needs to happen more often.

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<v Speaker 4>I know that.

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<v Speaker 1>That made me so happy. Thinking of it now makes

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<v Speaker 1>me feel more alive anyway. Scott Jennings is the token

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<v Speaker 1>conservative on CNN. Loved the clip we played of Jim

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<v Speaker 1>Acosta and that Southern congressman who's a cost is Like,

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<v Speaker 1>that's how Darius, sir, let's just CNN.

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<v Speaker 9>We're that.

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<v Speaker 4>Well, let's just go ahead and play it again. What

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<v Speaker 4>clip is that?

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<v Speaker 1>As long as we're cleaning out sound fridge got one

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<v Speaker 1>more serving of it?

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<v Speaker 4>Oh, there it is seventy one. This is not Fox, Congressman.

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<v Speaker 3>You can't just spin a tail and pull the wool

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<v Speaker 3>out of people's eyes.

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<v Speaker 2>This is CNN.

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<v Speaker 4>This is the news.

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<v Speaker 3>We're asking to come out and tell the truth.

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<v Speaker 8>And that's why more people are watching the cartoon network

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<v Speaker 8>SpongeBob reruns right now.

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<v Speaker 3>Jim My God, one of the things I want more

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<v Speaker 3>than anything in the world is self awareness. It's always

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<v Speaker 3>embarrassing if you, you know, you get off track on

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<v Speaker 3>self awareness for him to say, hey, this is CNN. Wow,

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<v Speaker 3>that's so cute, Jim. No, no, hey, you can't do

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<v Speaker 3>that here. This is CNN. We don't have spin and

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<v Speaker 3>fake stories on CNN. We don't allow bias here. On CNN.

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<v Speaker 3>We interviewed Michael Avenati eight thousand times over two weeks.

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<v Speaker 4>This is CNN. Well, he said he ought to run

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<v Speaker 4>for president on CNN.

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<v Speaker 1>You bastard, So anyway, Clip sixteen, Scott Jennings is the

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<v Speaker 1>token conservative CNN. He's talking about that awful prayer breakfast

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<v Speaker 1>that the president attended where he got lectured from the.

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<v Speaker 7>Pulpit Thesescapalians or Episcowochians or whatever they're calling themselves today.

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<v Speaker 3>This is ridiculous. This was terrible.

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<v Speaker 7>Donald Trump, I'm sure regrets participating in this event to

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<v Speaker 7>be lectured to and politicized in a church this way,

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<v Speaker 7>and I thought it was frankly a disgrace to what

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<v Speaker 7>they did to this event. I don't know if this

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<v Speaker 7>event will happened ever again. Because of this, this particular

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<v Speaker 7>bishop took it upon herself to turn this into a

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<v Speaker 7>complete and total circus and spectacle.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, if her goal was to become a hero to

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<v Speaker 3>the left, it worked. She got interviewed by the New

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<v Speaker 3>York Times. Bishop Budd made a plea to President Trump

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<v Speaker 3>for mercy. He looked away the time spoke with her

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<v Speaker 3>about that moment. Of course, she's, you know, speaking truth

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<v Speaker 3>to power, and he didn't have the guts to look

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<v Speaker 3>her in the eye. And she was on the View

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<v Speaker 3>yesterday and they made a big deal out of it. Whatever.

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<v Speaker 5>It's like that meme I sent you guys early with

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<v Speaker 5>a picture of her and it says word of the day, Bishop,

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<v Speaker 5>as in, will somebody shut this bishop?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, that was so freaky out a line.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh yeah, the woke. You're so self.

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<v Speaker 3>Satisfying and on an issue that she is so on

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<v Speaker 3>the wrong side of by many many points. I mean

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<v Speaker 3>it's not even close, because she was lecturing them about

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<v Speaker 3>the borders and the train stuff, and she's just wrong

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<v Speaker 3>on John, the wrong side of it politically.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, you are in on the torture and maiming

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<v Speaker 1>of poor confused adolescents. Lady.

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<v Speaker 4>I hope you're proud of yourself.

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<v Speaker 1>And finally, I was afraid to call for this one

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<v Speaker 1>on the air. I haven't heard it. Don't like the

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<v Speaker 1>description twenty six Greg Guttfeld.

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<v Speaker 7>So America is experiencing record cold temperatures across the country.

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<v Speaker 5>It's so cold that in DC, Hunter Biden's penis got

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<v Speaker 5>stuck to a telephone pole.

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<v Speaker 2>Again.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, yes, yes, that was a well crafted tagline.

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<v Speaker 1>There again, distasteful, only childhood laugh at that shoke.

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<v Speaker 5>I can't wait for Hunter Biden and his penis to

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<v Speaker 5>go completely away.

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<v Speaker 3>Forever, unless it's revealing more about the Biden crime family,

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<v Speaker 3>which would be interesting.

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<v Speaker 4>Hey, here's a question for you.

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<v Speaker 1>What is the top figure that anyone will pay for

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<v Speaker 1>a Hunter Biden painting going forward?

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<v Speaker 2>All right?

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<v Speaker 3>Well, a quarter million dollars worth of them. A whole

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<v Speaker 3>bunch of them got burned up in the Palisades fire

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<v Speaker 3>last week, so there are a lot fewer of them

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<v Speaker 3>than there used to be. Although he might crank out

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<v Speaker 3>three a day. I don't have any idea I'll throw

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<v Speaker 3>down ten dollars.

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<v Speaker 1>He's not going to get one hundred and seventy five

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<v Speaker 1>dollars for his paintings going forward.

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<v Speaker 4>What an obvious.

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<v Speaker 3>Scam that'll be interesting to follow. Yeah, because obviously, either

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<v Speaker 3>to curry favor with the president, or help Hunter pay

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<v Speaker 3>off his bills for some reason. Because he's doing something

0:12:03.480 --> 0:12:06.199
<v Speaker 3>for you is only reason. But I would pay a

0:12:06.280 --> 0:12:08.160
<v Speaker 3>chunk of money for a Hunter Biden paid because it

0:12:08.160 --> 0:12:10.080
<v Speaker 3>would just be so funny to tell people.

0:12:10.240 --> 0:12:14.199
<v Speaker 1>Oh, yeah, yeah, that's yeah. Ironically, yeah, I would pay

0:12:14.200 --> 0:12:15.280
<v Speaker 1>a fair amount ironically.

0:12:16.280 --> 0:12:16.960
<v Speaker 4>I can't remember.

0:12:17.000 --> 0:12:18.880
<v Speaker 1>I probably talked about this at least briefly on the

0:12:18.920 --> 0:12:21.120
<v Speaker 1>air when all of that was going on at its height,

0:12:21.160 --> 0:12:24.800
<v Speaker 1>But I read about how money laundering is an enormous

0:12:24.840 --> 0:12:27.960
<v Speaker 1>problem in the world of art. Because you've got you know,

0:12:28.120 --> 0:12:31.199
<v Speaker 1>paint slapped on a canvas. This is worth the three

0:12:31.320 --> 0:12:33.960
<v Speaker 1>hundred and forty million dollars. Yeah, yeah, And I just

0:12:34.160 --> 0:12:38.880
<v Speaker 1>got that money from a guy from the Third world.

0:12:38.600 --> 0:12:40.880
<v Speaker 4>And now it's fine. Then its way back to him

0:12:40.920 --> 0:12:42.240
<v Speaker 4>through various means. Yeah.

0:12:42.320 --> 0:12:45.360
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's easy to disguise enormous movements of money.

0:12:45.480 --> 0:12:47.640
<v Speaker 3>I know you've purchased some art. I've always wanted to,

0:12:47.679 --> 0:12:49.680
<v Speaker 3>but I just I've never taken the time to try

0:12:49.679 --> 0:12:52.760
<v Speaker 3>to figure out what the hell is this worth. I mean,

0:12:52.760 --> 0:12:55.040
<v Speaker 3>if this is actually worth you know, I don't know,

0:12:55.120 --> 0:12:57.920
<v Speaker 3>low number, high number, whatever, it is actually worth fifteen

0:12:57.960 --> 0:13:00.360
<v Speaker 3>hundred dollars I'm happy to pay it. It's it's cool.

0:13:00.400 --> 0:13:03.719
<v Speaker 3>I like it. But how do I have the slightest idea? Well,

0:13:03.760 --> 0:13:04.839
<v Speaker 3>I'm not going to take the time.

0:13:05.440 --> 0:13:08.800
<v Speaker 1>That's like two different questions being mushed into one. If

0:13:08.840 --> 0:13:11.920
<v Speaker 1>you're investing in art, then you really need to know

0:13:11.960 --> 0:13:14.920
<v Speaker 1>about the artist, what their reputation is, what their current

0:13:14.920 --> 0:13:17.240
<v Speaker 1>prices are, what the suspected trend is going to be.

0:13:17.320 --> 0:13:18.800
<v Speaker 4>Blah blah blah. I don't do that.

0:13:19.200 --> 0:13:21.360
<v Speaker 1>I just buy things that will make me happy on

0:13:21.360 --> 0:13:24.840
<v Speaker 1>my wall, and that is entirely the eye of the beholder.

0:13:25.440 --> 0:13:28.959
<v Speaker 1>That painting is so great, I'll pay a thousand dollars. Well,

0:13:28.960 --> 0:13:31.120
<v Speaker 1>I'm never going to be an art but one hundred

0:13:31.120 --> 0:13:31.680
<v Speaker 1>and fifty.

0:13:31.480 --> 0:13:33.719
<v Speaker 3>Year, I just I'm not gonna. Yeah, I just I

0:13:33.720 --> 0:13:35.640
<v Speaker 3>don't like getting ripped off, so i'd hate it. There's

0:13:35.640 --> 0:13:37.280
<v Speaker 3>another one over at that store. It looks a lot

0:13:37.440 --> 0:13:39.760
<v Speaker 3>pretty close to the same thing. Google, get that one.

0:13:39.800 --> 0:13:43.040
<v Speaker 3>It's half as much A guy sitting on a stool

0:13:43.040 --> 0:13:45.559
<v Speaker 3>eating an apple. Yeah, I'll get another one of those

0:13:45.559 --> 0:13:48.160
<v Speaker 3>over there. How do they even come? How do they

0:13:48.160 --> 0:13:50.800
<v Speaker 3>price that stuff? Some of it, especially in tourist places,

0:13:50.800 --> 0:13:52.319
<v Speaker 3>has got to be you just hopeing a rich person

0:13:52.360 --> 0:13:54.880
<v Speaker 3>comes through who like, you know, like what you're just saying,

0:13:55.120 --> 0:13:57.640
<v Speaker 3>likes it and they don't care what it costs. Like

0:13:57.679 --> 0:13:59.920
<v Speaker 3>if you're in Carmel, California, you walk through.

0:13:59.760 --> 0:14:02.679
<v Speaker 4>Those Oh yeah, I have many times.

0:14:02.760 --> 0:14:05.200
<v Speaker 3>This is twenty five thousand dollars.

0:14:05.559 --> 0:14:08.640
<v Speaker 1>Mmmm, well it's but it's it's a beautiful example of

0:14:08.679 --> 0:14:10.559
<v Speaker 1>the free market. If you don't like it twenty five

0:14:10.559 --> 0:14:13.200
<v Speaker 1>thousand dollars worth, don't buy it. And if you do,

0:14:13.320 --> 0:14:18.720
<v Speaker 1>go ahead. It's really as simple as that. I'll see

0:14:18.760 --> 0:14:21.440
<v Speaker 1>stuff that for. And I don't want to talk a

0:14:21.480 --> 0:14:25.240
<v Speaker 1>lot about money because it's distasteful and I'm a self

0:14:25.240 --> 0:14:31.560
<v Speaker 1>effacing Midwestern boy. But I'll say something that I would pay,

0:14:31.720 --> 0:14:34.960
<v Speaker 1>you know, X one hundred dollars for because I like

0:14:35.040 --> 0:14:36.280
<v Speaker 1>it and I think it looks really good in our

0:14:36.280 --> 0:14:38.720
<v Speaker 1>guest room. But if it's double that or triple that,

0:14:38.800 --> 0:14:41.560
<v Speaker 1>and I'm not going to so to me, it's not

0:14:41.720 --> 0:14:42.840
<v Speaker 1>worth that to somebody else.

0:14:42.920 --> 0:14:46.640
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I guess it is like paying somebody to write

0:14:46.640 --> 0:14:47.200
<v Speaker 4>you song.

0:14:47.640 --> 0:14:49.440
<v Speaker 3>I would like to have a Hunter Biden hanging in

0:14:49.480 --> 0:14:51.840
<v Speaker 3>my living room. You want a Hunter Biden?

0:14:51.960 --> 0:14:53.240
<v Speaker 6>Huh?

0:14:53.760 --> 0:14:56.040
<v Speaker 1>Do you want Hunter Biden and yourself hanged in your

0:14:56.040 --> 0:14:56.560
<v Speaker 1>living room.

0:14:56.600 --> 0:14:58.320
<v Speaker 4>I mean that's that.

0:14:58.640 --> 0:15:00.720
<v Speaker 1>It sounds like for agel anti je justice of some

0:15:00.760 --> 0:15:01.160
<v Speaker 1>sort to me.

0:15:01.280 --> 0:15:03.400
<v Speaker 3>You know what ruins part of this premise of me

0:15:03.480 --> 0:15:05.400
<v Speaker 3>having a Hunter Biden that I would say, guess who

0:15:05.480 --> 0:15:08.840
<v Speaker 3>painted that. I never have had a single human being

0:15:08.840 --> 0:15:11.320
<v Speaker 3>in my living room in like five years other than

0:15:11.320 --> 0:15:13.960
<v Speaker 3>my children, and I probably won't in the next five years.

0:15:13.960 --> 0:15:16.920
<v Speaker 3>So it's kind of an imaginary tale of the idea

0:15:16.920 --> 0:15:19.040
<v Speaker 3>of somebody seeing anything in my living room, But in

0:15:19.080 --> 0:15:20.400
<v Speaker 3>fairy it would still would be funny.

0:15:20.800 --> 0:15:26.080
<v Speaker 6>How about if you hired exclusively conservative babysitters, they'd be amused.

0:15:26.200 --> 0:15:30.200
<v Speaker 6>Here you go, the Hunter Biden really kid in original

0:15:31.360 --> 0:15:35.600
<v Speaker 6>h You can also most smell the skink on it.

0:15:35.880 --> 0:15:38.640
<v Speaker 4>Oh god, Oh he had to ruin it.

0:15:38.800 --> 0:15:41.840
<v Speaker 10>See I got it, I got it, I got it,

0:15:42.560 --> 0:15:47.000
<v Speaker 10>studio redecoration. We got a Hunter Biden. Yes, we got

0:15:47.040 --> 0:15:50.040
<v Speaker 10>Clinton address, and we got dogs playing poker.

0:15:50.080 --> 0:15:50.480
<v Speaker 4>There you go.

0:15:50.640 --> 0:15:52.920
<v Speaker 3>I like it, love it. I guess that's it.