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Speaker 1: I started dating my childhood bully's mother. He has no idea.

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Speaker 1: Now she wants me to come to dinner with her son.

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Speaker 2: That's an awkward high school reunion, you know. It's like, hey,

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Speaker 2: we haven't seen each other ten years. What have you

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Speaker 2: been doing. I've been doing your.

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Speaker 3: Mom remember that math class?

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Speaker 2: You know, like, hey, I remember addition and subtraction. Well,

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Speaker 2: how about your mom subtracts this dick? You know what

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Speaker 2: the answer was, d D extra credit. That's right, and

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Speaker 2: those turn those ds into a's with a little more ds.

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Speaker 1: D's nuts. I thought you were spelling out dad. Oh

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Speaker 1: that too, my D and her A makes me your dad.

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Speaker 3: There you go. All right.

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Speaker 1: So I'm twenty four mail and as a young teen,

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Speaker 1: my bully used to gang up with his friends and

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Speaker 1: bully me for literally no reason.

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Speaker 3: What did they say, you know, give me your lunch money?

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Speaker 1: Punk classic, stop stop having six with my mom. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: if this is during high school, a whole different story,

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Speaker 1: whole different.

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Speaker 3: Story, A story of jail time, mom, you know.

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Speaker 1: And the guy being a hero and yeah, he like

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Speaker 1: everyone's being bullied.

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Speaker 3: He's like finally someone like shut him down.

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Speaker 1: Like yeah, that's like the best way to get back

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Speaker 1: at a bullying.

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Speaker 2: Honest yeah, facts become his dad and then be like,

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Speaker 2: become his dad.

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Speaker 3: You can't be bullying kids at school anymore. Become his

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Speaker 3: dad in high school.

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Speaker 2: It's like a fifteen year old, Have you seen how

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Speaker 2: your mother and I have been talking about your behavior recently?

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Speaker 2: It's like he gets into the bullies, bullying too many people,

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Speaker 2: and they call a parent teacher conference and that's the

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Speaker 2: kid who's big bullied in his mom.

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Speaker 1: Well, we eventually grew up school ended, but honestly, this

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Speaker 1: bully still f's with me. About two months ago, I

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Speaker 1: recognized his mom at.

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Speaker 2: A bar yo, so like so like Opie's like, like,

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Speaker 2: I recognize this bob target freaking what he was doing?

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Speaker 1: Revenge to the finest. Yes, she's one of those young

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Speaker 1: and hot moms. And I'm not the shy loser I

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Speaker 1: used to be. I hope tell you wow, I tell

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Speaker 1: you I hope he has a glow up. He's just

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Speaker 1: been he's just been pumping that iron, ready to pump

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Speaker 1: more iron, that iron thong. She doesn't know who I am,

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Speaker 1: but she's about to. But she's about to get real familiar.

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Speaker 1: And she doesn't know what her son did to me.

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Speaker 1: She was single, and we hit it off, and she

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Speaker 1: came over to my place that night and I fed

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Speaker 1: her like it was our wedding night.

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Speaker 2: It will be soon, I guess, thankfully, I hear some

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Speaker 2: wedding bells. I hear wedding bells.

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Speaker 1: Even years later. I efing hate her son so much,

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Speaker 1: and efing his mom has been incredible. And even though

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Speaker 1: I did it initially purely for revenge, she's actually a

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Speaker 1: wonderful person and I want to see where this goes

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Speaker 1: and hopefully catching feelings, probably catching feelings for mom over

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Speaker 1: here yikes, and hopefully at least be able to be

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Speaker 1: civil with him.

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Speaker 3: He's this is beyond revenge at this point.

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Speaker 1: He's like, I want to legitimately potentially build a life

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Speaker 1: with this one.

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Speaker 3: Yo.

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Speaker 2: I wonder if, like the revenge makes it that much

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Speaker 2: sweeter to build a life with it. Like, like I

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Speaker 2: think it's the ultimate freaking like the ultimate payback is

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Speaker 2: just like building a very great life with this bully's.

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Speaker 1: Mom, and and like I feel like that's part of

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Speaker 1: what the sex is about, because it's like it's hard

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Speaker 1: to not make that yeah, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: She told me that she has a son around my

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Speaker 1: age early on, which I obviously knew. And this week

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Speaker 1: she asked, since we've been together for a couple of

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Speaker 1: months and we're serious, if I wanted to meet him

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Speaker 1: this weekend?

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Speaker 3: Yo, Like op, he's been waiting for this.

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Speaker 2: Bo He's like, I can't wait to rub it in

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Speaker 2: the bully's space that I'm bowing in His mom.

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Speaker 3: Just the sweetest. You could not plan a better revent.

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Speaker 3: You could not plan it?

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Speaker 1: I said, sure, Yeah, of course did or having dinner

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Speaker 1: Saturday night. And I'm equally excited and nervous. I mean,

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Speaker 1: what's gonna happen?

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Speaker 3: Dude, I'm so excited. I'm so excited.

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Speaker 2: I understand why he's excited, to understand why he's nervous,

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Speaker 2: Like this is like anything could happen.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, what's gonna happen? When he walked like our hand's

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Speaker 1: gonna be thrown this second he opens the door. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's like, son, that's what he has to do. The

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Speaker 1: prodigal son, the product the prodigal dad has a day.

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Speaker 1: I feel bad that this started off as petty revenge

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Speaker 1: because she deserves much better than that. But the fact

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Speaker 1: in her son is the effing prick and a loser.

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Speaker 3: I don't think Op is salty at all. I think

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Speaker 3: he's healed from these Oh yeah, he's clearly he's over totally.

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Speaker 1: I grew up, I got in bed her shape, and

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Speaker 1: I have a decent job and make good money while

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Speaker 1: he still lives with his momy.

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Speaker 3: It doesn't work it all.

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Speaker 2: Did Ops trying to dunk on this kid in every way,

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Speaker 2: Like like it's not enough for Op that that this

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Speaker 2: high school bully is just like shit in life. He's like,

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Speaker 2: I'm going to stick it to your mom.

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Speaker 3: Too, I'm going to become your dad.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well he's going to be in for a big

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Speaker 1: surprise this weekend. She mentioned he was already uncomfortable with

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Speaker 1: her new boyfriend's age, but which.

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Speaker 3: Like that's kind of weird.

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Speaker 1: I mean like like imagine like a scenario where like

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Speaker 1: your mom is dating someone your age.

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Speaker 2: That's fucking weird. That's that's weird pill to swallow. That's

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Speaker 2: that's too tough, that's too tough to swallow. Be like mom,

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Speaker 2: I mean my parents are happily married. Yeah yeah, but

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Speaker 2: in that case, hypothetically, I'd be like mom, like date

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Speaker 2: someone your own age, to.

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Speaker 1: Date someone who who came out of a vagina after

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Speaker 1: I can came out of the Yorks like that. That

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Speaker 1: is the bear the menu requirements here. Okay, that's not

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Speaker 1: asking for money, not not asking for too much. Get

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Speaker 1: someone that like got your movie references in your at

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Speaker 1: least thirties or your twenties, you know. Yeah, yeah, And oh, man,

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Speaker 1: is my guy in for a world of art, especially

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Speaker 1: when I eventually become his stepdad move into that house

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Speaker 1: and tell him he either needs to get a job

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Speaker 1: or get out.

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Speaker 2: Oh, he's really taking over, he is. He is stepping

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Speaker 2: up to the plate and becoming a step stepping up

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Speaker 2: as a step dad.

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Speaker 1: As his stepdad, I will not let him be a

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Speaker 1: burden to his mother any longer. And when he hears

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Speaker 1: how vocal his mom is during sex, he's going to

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Speaker 1: want me to move out anyway, unless he enjoys hearing

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Speaker 1: me breed with his mother every night.

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Speaker 2: Yike, breed with his mother. Yeah, the classic Reddit speech.

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Speaker 1: This weekend is going to be great. I cannot wait

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Speaker 1: to look him in the face. My god, Oh p

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Speaker 1: you are cruel. He is cruel.

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Speaker 3: He is one cruel man.

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Speaker 1: He like I feel like, for the mom's sake, he

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Speaker 1: should kind of like let it go.

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Speaker 2: I mean, like, if he's actually trying to make it

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Speaker 2: doesn't seem like he's trying to make I think. I

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Speaker 2: think like getting revenge on the bullie is priority one,

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Speaker 2: and then the relations gotta flip the priorities. I don't know,

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Speaker 2: but maybe maybe he just wants to watch this guy suffer.

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Speaker 2: Maybe he believes his priorities are exactly where they want

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Speaker 2: to be.

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Speaker 1: Well, there is an update. Oh shit, So we had

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Speaker 1: the lunch to meet her son yesterday.

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Speaker 3: Oh boy.

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Speaker 1: Well I went to her place while he wasn't there

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Speaker 1: for the first time. He knew she was seeing someone

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Speaker 1: younger and didn't like it. And my girlfriend told me,

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Speaker 1: does he know how much younger?

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Speaker 3: Though?

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Speaker 1: I think he said like around my age, like the

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Speaker 1: mom's at around age. And my girlfriend his mama told

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Speaker 1: me it might be awkward, but she didn't know the

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Speaker 1: half of it, as she also doesn't know how he

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Speaker 1: used to bully me in high school.

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Speaker 3: Yikes. So right as I walked in, I saw him.

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Speaker 1: He looks like doggy doodoo, fat, balding, and pasty.

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Speaker 2: Wow, dude, this guy's like twenty four. Oh he hates

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Speaker 2: this guy. He's relishing in every single little detail of

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Speaker 2: how much he hates is.

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Speaker 1: Also, this guy was a bully because he knew he

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Speaker 1: was going to grow up and be like a bald.

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Speaker 3: Fat man by age twenty five.

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Speaker 2: Exactly when when you know you're gonna peak in high school,

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Speaker 2: you got to take advantage of it, you know, go

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Speaker 2: all in.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, he looked like he spent the last twelve years

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Speaker 1: smoking pot and jerking off in his mom's basement, which

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Speaker 1: he has God dude, ruthless. Yeah, just like ruthless, no

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Speaker 1: holds barred over here. Well, the moment he saw me,

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Speaker 1: I could tell he recognized me. I reached out for

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Speaker 1: a handshake and said, hey, bully, nice to meet you.

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Speaker 2: Oh bro, bro, OPI is like is in ecstasy right now.

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Speaker 2: Opie is so happy with himself.

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Speaker 1: Which again like the mom wants them to get along.

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Speaker 1: So he's like he's not doing the mom justice.

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Speaker 2: By right as as like without the hidden intentions, like

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Speaker 2: Opie has been been perfectly fine to the mom.

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Speaker 3: Moved on to this bully.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, it's just it's just yeah, the intentions

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Speaker 2: behind it not pure, not pure.

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Speaker 1: Well, he didn't react well, and he started referring to

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Speaker 1: me by my nickname, which he gave me in high school,

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Speaker 1: and I.

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Speaker 3: Told him, what is the nickname? Like but thunder? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, but thunder like or like he like farted

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Speaker 1: in math? Hey, math fart? What's that farting in math?

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Speaker 1: Began to pull out your calculator written one for me.

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Speaker 2: I did I feel I feel like that insult would

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Speaker 2: just like like completely destroy op.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I told him, Oh it is you, small World, and sorry,

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Speaker 1: I honestly didn't recognize you. Dude back, dude, he's we're

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Speaker 1: duking it out. I gave his mom a big kiss

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Speaker 1: as a greeting, and he yelled what. His mom got

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Speaker 1: upset and told him to get it together and stop

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Speaker 1: being rude.

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Speaker 3: Stop it precious.

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Speaker 2: And he's giving like a big kiss to uh uh

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Speaker 2: the Bully's mom. He's just like looking dead in the

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Speaker 2: He's like at the bully.

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Speaker 1: She was surprised, and she said, you two went to

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Speaker 1: school together. I said, yeah, small World. She asked if

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Speaker 1: we were friends and I said not really. I honestly

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Speaker 1: didn't really know Bully that well. He was sitting there

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Speaker 1: huming and actually got up to leave in the middle

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Speaker 1: of the lunch. So Bully's not having it.

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Speaker 2: I don't know how you would have it, like even if,

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Speaker 2: even if, like if my mom was dating someone I

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Speaker 2: went to high school with, I would be like what

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Speaker 2: I would I would be mad at that person I

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Speaker 2: went to high school, like do what are you doing?

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Speaker 2: Like like I need a minute, stop stop talking to

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Speaker 2: my mom. I did small things like put an arm

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Speaker 2: around his mom or have my hand on her thigh,

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Speaker 2: just to f f him, which it clearly did. Okay,

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Speaker 2: now he's being spiteful. I mean, we set up the

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Speaker 2: story where he was being spiteful from the very beginning,

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Speaker 2: but I don't know why I expected anything different.

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Speaker 3: We made love.

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Speaker 1: That night in her bed, and I made sure to

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Speaker 1: shake her headboards.

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Speaker 3: So he could hear it. Jesus Christ.

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Speaker 1: I didn't see him the next day, but my girlfriend

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Speaker 1: apologized to me for how rude he was, and I said,

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Speaker 1: it's okay. I know he's clearly had a hard time

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Speaker 1: since high school, and seeing someone from that time of

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Speaker 1: his life doing so well would be hard for anyone.

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Speaker 1: Maybe I'll take him out for a beer or something

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Speaker 1: and we can try to get him out of the

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Speaker 1: house and bond with him a bit.

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Speaker 3: And she liked the sound of that. This is going

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Speaker 3: to be fun.

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Speaker 1: Guys, he is playing for d revenge chess. Oh he is.

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Speaker 1: He is just puppeteering everything right now.

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Speaker 3: None of this is Is this ethical? I don't know

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Speaker 3: if this is ethical. Here's where it would have been fine.

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Speaker 1: Once he like really caught feelings for the mom, he

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Speaker 1: would come clean to her and be like, listen, I

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Speaker 1: you know I was bullied by your son in high school,

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Speaker 1: and I would be lying if I didn't meet Like

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Speaker 1: part I was attracted to you, but part of it

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Speaker 1: was like, oh my gosh, like I get to get

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Speaker 1: this revenge, but like I really care for you now

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Speaker 1: and like I'm over that and I want to like

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Speaker 1: mend the bridges.

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Speaker 2: I don't think he's actually in this relationship for anything

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Speaker 2: other than revenge. Yeah, it doesn't seem like it. Like,

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Speaker 2: based on the story, it seems like he's just like, yo,

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Speaker 2: I'm just trying to get revenge and I'm going to

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Speaker 2: just do this until my bully's misery. I wonder if

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Speaker 2: the bully went left and had nothing to do with

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Speaker 2: the mom and they like they didn't see each other anymore,

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Speaker 2: if he would still get that much value out of

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Speaker 2: the out of the relationship, and.

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Speaker 1: Maybe he would stay with her, but like I think,

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Speaker 1: it's like if he really cared about her, he would

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Speaker 1: be trying to mend things with the Sun. Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: he's he does not care. No, he's he's he's shaking

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Speaker 1: doing it