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Speaker 1: Hey, lady, is doctor dom here. If you like this

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Speaker 1: show and you want to make your own, let me

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Speaker 1: tell you about the free platform Anchor. It's a creation

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Speaker 1: tool that allows you to record and edit your podcast

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Speaker 1: right from your phone or computer. You can add songs

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Speaker 1: are looking for. Anchor will distribute it all for you

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Speaker 1: so it can be heard on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and more.

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Speaker 1: Download the free Anchor app or go to anchor dot

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Speaker 1: fm to get started.

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Speaker 2: On this week's episode in her Space. Cooo. This journey

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Speaker 2: has been something else I know. For when I was younger,

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Speaker 2: I used to be really good at numbing myself because

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Speaker 2: I endure so much pain and so whether it was

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Speaker 2: like physical abuse, sexual abuse, I got very good at

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Speaker 2: like not listening to my body because I was in

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Speaker 2: an environment that didn't allow me to do that.

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Speaker 3: So again, if you're that person who's always feeling sad,

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Speaker 3: you can step back and you yourself five minutes. Welcome

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Speaker 3: to her Space, a podcast dedicated to uplifting women like you.

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Speaker 3: We're your hosts doctor Dominique Broussard, a college professor and psychologist.

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Speaker 2: And Terry Lomax, a techie and motivational speaker in a

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Speaker 2: world where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood. Please

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Speaker 2: join us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything from

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Speaker 2: fibroids to fake friends and create a safe space where

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Speaker 2: black women can just be Okay. So, dom I want

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Speaker 2: to talk to you about this really interesting experience that

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Speaker 2: I had recently. And basically what happened was I was

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Speaker 2: traveling back east for speaking engagement and I just came

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Speaker 2: from vacatione to Miami and life is good, Like everything's

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Speaker 2: going really well. I have nothing to complain about. And

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Speaker 2: I remember being in my hotel room when I was

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Speaker 2: I think I was in Pennsylvania, like in Harrisburg, getting

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Speaker 2: ready to speak to a group of high school students,

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Speaker 2: and I was in my room by myself, and I

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Speaker 2: ordered room service, and I'm just like interesting, life is

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Speaker 2: really good right now. I have nothing to complain about.

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Speaker 2: But I am so sad. And I remember being in

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Speaker 2: my hotel room and I literally just started crying and

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Speaker 2: it was like you ever laugh and cry at the

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Speaker 2: same time.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I had those Okay, what was going on?

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Speaker 2: I think I was well one, there was something going

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Speaker 2: on emotionally internally. I don't know what was hormonal, but

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Speaker 2: something was going on on the inside, which is what

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Speaker 2: caused me to cry. But I couldn't put my finger

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Speaker 2: on it. I was like, I can't identify anything in

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Speaker 2: my life right now that will cause me to be

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Speaker 2: so sad. I was planning to see my siblings. I mean,

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Speaker 2: my husband are good, like the family's good. I'm getting

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Speaker 2: a chance to do what I love, like speaking to

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Speaker 2: high school students. Why am I so sad? And I

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Speaker 2: remember laughing because I was like, girl, what's wrong with you?

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Speaker 2: Like all this stuff is good, you're crying? And then

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Speaker 2: I've had to remind myself not to judge myself. So

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Speaker 2: it was like this whole internal conversation, but it just

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Speaker 2: made me think about how sometimes and life things can

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Speaker 2: be great on the outside, but you can still feel

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Speaker 2: low on the inside. You can still be sad. You

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Speaker 2: can still not know why you feel the way that

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Speaker 2: you feel and not have an answer for it, which

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Speaker 2: is even more of a can I say, mind fuck?

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Speaker 2: Like yeah, that's a complete mind fuck to feel to

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Speaker 2: feel sad and to feel down but not be able

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Speaker 2: to pinpoint it, like I need some answers, you know

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Speaker 2: what I mean.

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Speaker 3: Right, and when you're a type a personality, like you're

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Speaker 3: a go getter and you know, and we've been taught

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Speaker 3: that we have to like just keep going right, So

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Speaker 3: when that happens, you're like, there is no reason for

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Speaker 3: me to be sad, Like they're everything is going according

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Speaker 3: to plan, so I have no reason to be said,

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Speaker 3: but it still happens. It happens to the best of us.

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Speaker 3: And when that happens, we might be experiencing depression. What

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Speaker 3: do you think about that idea, that notion that you

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Speaker 3: might have been depressed?

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Speaker 2: I would agree, I think after reflecting on that, and

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Speaker 2: one thing I like, well, one thing I do now

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Speaker 2: because I've had so many episodes. At this point in

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Speaker 2: my life, I am at a place where I get

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Speaker 2: creative or I try to figure out, Okay, how can

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Speaker 2: I express what I'm feeling inside? And so I ended

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Speaker 2: up recording like a personal video for myself just to

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Speaker 2: talk through the feelings. And I called my support system.

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Speaker 2: And the funny thing is, even though my support system

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Speaker 2: supported me and they were there to talk to me,

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Speaker 2: I still felt alone. I still felt really empty, and

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Speaker 2: I was just like WHOA Like in my mind, it

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Speaker 2: was like this back and forth of judging myself and

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Speaker 2: then trying to be gracious to myself because it was like,

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Speaker 2: you literally have everything right now that you could ask,

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Speaker 2: Like you can pick up the phone, call someone, they'll

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Speaker 2: be there, they'll listen to you, they'll they'll be there,

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Speaker 2: they'll hear you, they'll see you. But you still feel

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Speaker 2: alone even though you're not alone. That's just like, WHOA,

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Speaker 2: what's going on?

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Speaker 3: That is exactly what depression looks like. And I realized

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Speaker 3: I just use the word exactly what depression looks like.

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Speaker 3: But depression looks different in all of us, but there

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Speaker 3: are similar signs and symptoms, and so I want us

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Speaker 3: to dive into that. But our quote for the day

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Speaker 3: that we picked out that is from an anonymous source,

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Speaker 3: really I believe taps into what a lot of people

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Speaker 3: experience when they truly are depressed. And so the quote says,

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Speaker 3: I don't think people understand how stressful it is to

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Speaker 3: explain what's going on in your head when you don't

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Speaker 3: even understand it yourself. Who just take that in, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: you can't explain what's happening in your head, no matter

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Speaker 3: how much you truly are trying.

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Speaker 2: And that's tricky because as a problem solver, I feel

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Speaker 2: like my go to place when something is wrong or

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Speaker 2: there's an issue or I want to change something is

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Speaker 2: what do I want and why do I want it?

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Speaker 2: Just to get me very clear, right, But it's like,

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Speaker 2: if you don't know what's wrong and you don't know

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Speaker 2: what you want or what you need, that's stressful and.

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Speaker 3: It creates a cycle because then, like you said, you

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Speaker 3: end up in a space where you're emotionally beating yourself

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Speaker 3: up because you can't identify what's going on and you

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Speaker 3: want to be better, but you can't be better if

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Speaker 3: you don't know what's causing you to feel the way

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Speaker 3: you're feeling. And so you know, this one is a

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Speaker 3: hard topic to talk about sometimes because the reality is

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Speaker 3: that so many of us experience depression, and quite honestly,

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Speaker 3: every single one of us will experience depression at some

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Speaker 3: point in life, every single one of us. For some

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Speaker 3: of us, it may last a couple of days, for

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Speaker 3: others it may last a couple of weeks, and then

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Speaker 3: for some of us it may be a lifetime thing

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Speaker 3: that we are constantly fighting. And I think what I

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Speaker 3: want people to really understand is that with depression. You

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Speaker 3: can have what we call a major depressive episode, which

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Speaker 3: lasts for up to last for around two weeks. But

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Speaker 3: then what makes it a full diagnosable category of depression

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Speaker 3: is when you have multiple episodes.

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Speaker 2: Multiple episodes over the course of life, or.

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Speaker 3: Over the course of a couple of months, over the

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Speaker 3: course of a couple of years. So you are constantly

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Speaker 3: experiencing depressive episodes. You are constantly in a space where

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Speaker 3: you feel sad or in some people, angry. You don't

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Speaker 3: have interest in things that normally would bring you interest.

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Speaker 3: You don't find pleasure in anything we think about. Like, okay,

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Speaker 3: all of us we talk about relationships, right, and.

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Speaker 4: You broke up with your partner.

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Speaker 2: I was just thinking about that.

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Speaker 4: High school breakups.

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Speaker 2: I was like stuck in the room, okay, like lights.

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Speaker 3: I mean, just yeah, playing Tony Braxton another sad love song,

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Speaker 3: and you know, you quell the soul, the slow sad.

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Speaker 2: Neo so sick of love song, right right, Like.

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Speaker 4: You cue the music.

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Speaker 3: And you might be like that for a couple of days,

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Speaker 3: and then your friends rally around you and they're like, girl,

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Speaker 3: come on, that person wasn't worth it anyway, right, So.

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Speaker 4: You let yourself.

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Speaker 3: Feel sad for a couple of days. Maybe you didn't

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Speaker 3: leave the room, maybe you didn't shower. Maybe you you know,

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Speaker 3: ate a whole large pizza, maybe you ate a whole

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Speaker 3: tub of ice cream. And then after a couple of

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Speaker 3: days you moved forward. You experienced depression. It wasn't debilitating,

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Speaker 3: but you experienced depression.

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Speaker 2: Now, question for you, dom, can you remember the first

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Speaker 2: time that you were introduced to depression or you, I guess,

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Speaker 2: saw depression, whether it was either luck with yourself or

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Speaker 2: someone around you. When you think back to your just

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Speaker 2: upbringing in Germal, when was that first time if you

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Speaker 2: can think of it, that's a good question.

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Speaker 3: I cannot think of the first time. Yeah, I can't

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Speaker 3: think of the first time I encountered it. But I

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Speaker 3: know that in general, just seeing I remember just seeing

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Speaker 3: people being sad. I can't recall anyone in particular in

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Speaker 3: my life who was depressed. I recall people having depress

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Speaker 3: of reactions to things, so a breakup or grief and

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Speaker 3: breathement when someone dies, But I can't specifically recall the

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Speaker 3: first time I was fully aware of someone who maybe

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Speaker 3: had major depression.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, what about you?

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Speaker 2: When I think about it, I, like you said, I

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Speaker 2: saw some of the same things. But the weird thing is,

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Speaker 2: so I kept journals when I was younger, right, And

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Speaker 2: as I got older and I went back to look

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Speaker 2: at those journal entries, I was like, oh, my gosh,

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Speaker 2: I didn't realize I was so depressed. And I realized

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Speaker 2: that I would have journal entries where it was like, Oh,

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Speaker 2: life's good, this is what's happening. And then I'd have

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Speaker 2: these low moments where I'm like, I just want to

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Speaker 2: go to sleep and take a long nap, like it

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Speaker 2: was really bad. And the thing about it is it

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Speaker 2: would be this constant back and forth of that, and

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Speaker 2: I would go through the low points a lot because

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Speaker 2: I had a lot of challenges that I faced, and

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Speaker 2: I think well as an adult, when I look back

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Speaker 2: at the younger me, I'm like, oh my gosh, it's

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Speaker 2: clear as day I was struggling with depression. I never

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Speaker 2: knew that I was because we didn't use that language

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Speaker 2: in my household and I didn't really hear it in

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Speaker 2: that context. But when I look back on it, I'm

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Speaker 2: definitely sure that I was. And I also think that

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Speaker 2: when I started taking birth control, I think I was

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Speaker 2: around eighteen or sold. That's when I really realized that

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Speaker 2: that pill took me on a roller coaster. I mean,

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Speaker 2: people around me could definitely see a difference. And I

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Speaker 2: was suicidal on the pill like I was depressed. And

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Speaker 2: that's a time in my life where I realized, oh wow.

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Speaker 3: And I think that's something that's a good thing to

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Speaker 3: point out, is that certain medications can call suicidal thoughts

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Speaker 3: and can cause depressive thoughts or cause changes in your hormones.

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Speaker 3: And so I think one of the things that we

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Speaker 3: often don't talk about is how to have these.

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Speaker 4: Conversations with our doctors.

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Speaker 3: Right, So, when you're starting birth control, or when you're

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Speaker 3: starting any type of medication, no matter what medical condition

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Speaker 3: you're trying to treat, to have a conversation with your

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Speaker 3: physician about what are the side effects and what are

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Speaker 3: things that I need to look out for. So with

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Speaker 3: birth control, that depression is one that commonly happens, but

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Speaker 3: we don't know to ask.

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Speaker 4: And also we.

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Speaker 3: Don't necessarily know how to identify that we're experiencing these

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Speaker 3: highs and lows, and that when we're in those lows,

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Speaker 3: those lows may be a sign of depression.

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Speaker 2: And I think documenting like It doesn't have to be

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Speaker 2: this whole big ordeal or this big essay, but simple

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Speaker 2: as using the notepad on your phone or gritting it

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Speaker 2: down in a journal, like your moods. I have some

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Speaker 2: friends at my job actually that track their habits, and

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Speaker 2: so sometimes one of my friends, I think it's really dope.

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Speaker 2: She writes down like how she feels before she goes

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Speaker 2: to sleep, on the scale of one to ten, and

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Speaker 2: then how she feels in the morning, like one being

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Speaker 2: the worst, ten being amazing, And just by simply writing

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Speaker 2: down the one through ten or whatever number it is,

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Speaker 2: you can then see later like, oh, after doing that

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Speaker 2: for a year a few months, you can see when

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Speaker 2: your mood sort of fluctuates, and maybe you can think

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Speaker 2: about what happened in your life around that time that

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Speaker 2: maybe brought that about. So I think that's really cool.

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Speaker 2: But I also think that it's important to talk about

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Speaker 2: the stigma, because there's a lot of stigma that comes

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Speaker 2: along with mental health in our community especially. And I

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Speaker 2: remember growing up, one of the things I used to hear,

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Speaker 2: because I would see things on lifetime and stuff like that,

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Speaker 2: it was that And again, this is not something we

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Speaker 2: agree with, but this is what we heard that therapy

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Speaker 2: is for white people. If you go to therapy, you're crazy.

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Speaker 2: You're not depressed. You just need to pray it away

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Speaker 2: and go to church. Like those are things that I

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Speaker 2: heard that I think can be detrimental to someone actually

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Speaker 2: seeking help. And that's why I'm so adamant about being

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Speaker 2: on social media and speaking engagements in the spaces I occupy,

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Speaker 2: letting people know like, yeah, I don't have it all together,

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Speaker 2: I'm just out here a work in progress. And I

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Speaker 2: struggle with depression still to this day because I think

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Speaker 2: that when we share that it allows other people to

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Speaker 2: feel liberated in that Oh, if this person feels that way,

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Speaker 2: I don't have to feel bad, guiltier, be ashamed because

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Speaker 2: I have some of the same struggles.

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Speaker 3: And I think that's one thing to point out too,

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Speaker 3: is that there's what we would call like functional depression.

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Speaker 3: So you were in a space where you were still

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Speaker 3: able to get up in the mornings and you go

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Speaker 3: to work, you engage socially, you do all the things

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Speaker 3: that you would normally do, but you still feel sad.

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Speaker 3: And for some people, if we put it on a

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Speaker 3: scale of one to ten, with one being maybe I'm

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Speaker 3: feeling suicidal and ten being I am on top of

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Speaker 3: the world, possibly having a manic episode. You can be

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Speaker 3: at a seven or eight and that might be how

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Speaker 3: you normally function, and or you might be at a

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Speaker 3: four or five, and for some people, four or five

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Speaker 3: is how they normally function. And so how depression shows

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Speaker 3: up will vary from person to person. So some people

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Speaker 3: are wired to wired where they can get up and

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Speaker 3: they can go to work and they can do all

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Speaker 3: the things, but on the inside still be struggling on

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Speaker 3: the inside crying, get home in the evening after they've

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Speaker 3: done all these seemingly amazing things, get home in the

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Speaker 3: evening and feel completely lonely and cry a lot.

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Speaker 4: Or maybe they don't cry.

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Speaker 3: Maybe they're just constantly angry about small things and they

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Speaker 3: can't pinpoint why this small thing, this person cut them

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Speaker 3: off in traffic is really sending them to a space

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Speaker 3: of feeling rage. Depression will show up in small ways

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Speaker 3: for us, and we might not realize it because we're

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Speaker 3: still doing our day to day activities.

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Speaker 4: And I think the thing that.

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Speaker 3: I also want us to recognize is that as black women,

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Speaker 3: we are so resilient and we've been conditioned to keep

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Speaker 3: moving right so no matter what our position is in life,

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Speaker 3: we've been taught that we keep it moving. And so

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Speaker 3: that means that even if you are feeling sad, you

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Speaker 3: learn to still get up and do all the things

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Speaker 3: that you need to do, check off everything on that

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Speaker 3: to do list, despite how you might be feeling on

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Speaker 3: the inside, and you have to look good doing it.

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Speaker 2: And work ten times harder than anyone else. I think

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Speaker 2: one thing that's been really important and my journey has

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Speaker 2: been like spending and I think I say this in

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Speaker 2: almost every episode. I feel like, but spending time with self,

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Speaker 2: like that solitude and being alone has been so helpful

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Speaker 2: for me to understand what's going on. And sometimes, like

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Speaker 2: I said, you don't know what's going on, but sometimes

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Speaker 2: if you just sit still enough and you don't try to,

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Speaker 2: you know, consume every every ounce of silence with noise

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Speaker 2: or a relationship or a task or just busy work,

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Speaker 2: or just stay moving, because I'm really good at staying

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Speaker 2: you know, just moving, moving, moving, so I don't have

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Speaker 2: to deal with my shit. And I feel like when

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Speaker 2: you sit still and you deal with that, or you

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Speaker 2: at least allow you to give yourself space to this

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Speaker 2: is where I'm at But who wants to do that?

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Speaker 2: Though it's hard, It is hard work. But I feel

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Speaker 2: like the older I get, the more I want to

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Speaker 2: just pull all it covers off my shit and I'm like, Oh,

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Speaker 2: what's in here? What should I got in this corner?

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Speaker 2: What should I got that corner?

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Speaker 4: I want to see all this shit?

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Speaker 2: And it's just I mean, we only get one life,

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Speaker 2: we only get one chance. And I feel like just

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Speaker 2: uncovering that and trying to figure out the answers that

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Speaker 2: your soul craves allows you to help other people answer

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Speaker 2: the same questions in their own lives.

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Speaker 3: But Terry, I got kids, I got a husband, I'm

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Speaker 3: the CEO of a company.

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Speaker 4: I'm the frontline manager of a company. I don't have time.

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Speaker 2: And as hard as this is going to sound, we

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Speaker 2: make time. But what's important and we are important enough

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Speaker 2: to take space for ourselves and do that work.

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Speaker 3: And that's what I try to tell people all the time,

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Speaker 3: is that, yeah, you make time for what is important.

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Speaker 3: We value our family, we value our friends, A lot

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Speaker 3: of us place value in the church. We value our careers,

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Speaker 3: and so at some point we've got to step back

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Speaker 3: and truly value ourselves. And so the thing that I

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Speaker 3: like to think about is when we're trying to heal

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Speaker 3: from depression, once we recognize what it is. So again,

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Speaker 3: if you're that person who's always feeling sad, or maybe

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Speaker 3: you're getting annoyed at the little things, or maybe you

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Speaker 3: don't find pleasure in anything, you can't laugh at anything,

340
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Speaker 3: or some of the things that you used.

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Speaker 4: To enjoy don't enjoy anymore.

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Speaker 3: When you start to feel that maybe there's some little

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Speaker 3: things that maybe the indicative of possibly having depression, you

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Speaker 3: can step back and give yourself five minutes a day.

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Speaker 3: Five minutes that's all you need to start making steps

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Speaker 3: towards feeling better or making changes and identifying what you

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00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:54,080
Speaker 3: can do to make a difference in your world so

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Speaker 3: to maybe eliminate or reduce the signs of depression five minutes.

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Speaker 3: Within those five minutes, that could be taking a quick walk,

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Speaker 3: that could be taking a warm shower. And I know

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Speaker 3: I've said this in a previous episode. I know what

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Speaker 3: my mom used to do is go in the bathroom

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Speaker 3: to get her time away from us. Like she would

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Speaker 3: go in the bathroom and shut the door and lock it,

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Speaker 3: and that would be her time. Five minutes, maybe five

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Speaker 3: minutes praying or meditating.

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Speaker 2: And also I would say talking to friends as well,

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Speaker 2: like if you have supportive or positive people that are

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Speaker 2: in your circle, in your corner, or even online communities.

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Speaker 2: They have a lot of amazing online communities. And I

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Speaker 2: found even now, like I'm so much more open about

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Speaker 2: talking about my struggles with family friends. I see that

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Speaker 2: other people in my life are starting to take action

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Speaker 2: and address some of their stuff. So they're going to therapy,

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Speaker 2: they're doing those things. And I also realized, just I

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Speaker 2: would say last year that I grew up in a

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Speaker 2: household where, just to give you a little context, soul

368
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:02,960
Speaker 2: food was like I thing, okay, so I'm talking about

369
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Speaker 2: the cheesiest mac and cheese. I'm talking about ham hoots

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00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:09,840
Speaker 2: and pig feet and chitlings like all that. That's what

371
00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:12,720
Speaker 2: I grew up on the whole pig Okay, Like we

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Speaker 2: only meant that and out. That's what I grew up in.

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Speaker 2: And now I'm in San Francisco. I don'et got bougie,

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Speaker 2: And now I changed up my diet. And I was

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Speaker 2: just telling my husband the other day, I was like, yo,

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Speaker 2: I was like, I had not been like really depressed

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Speaker 2: in a long time, and I was like, can you, like,

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Speaker 2: can you confirm, like what do you think? He was like, no,

379
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Speaker 2: that's that's true. But when I was just eating anything

380
00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:35,800
Speaker 2: and I was also on the pill, that really impacted me.

381
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Speaker 2: So trying new things and trying to figure out like

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Speaker 2: what might be my thing, because everyone's different, right, We're

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Speaker 2: all very unique, and so yes, what I'm doing now

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Speaker 2: is I'm on like this pescatarian diet where I eat

385
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Speaker 2: my vegetables and fruit and the only meat I eat

386
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Speaker 2: is seafood, really salmon and shrimp, and that has worked

387
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Speaker 2: with wonders. I feel like I only get depressed around

388
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Speaker 2: the hormonal time of the month when my periods about

389
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Speaker 2: to come.

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Speaker 4: Really, I love head.

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Speaker 3: I love the pescatarian I was on the front for

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Speaker 3: a long time, and I'll talk in another episode about

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Speaker 3: why I was on it and what helped me with

394
00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:10,719
Speaker 3: that on that journey. But I think food, like your diet,

395
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:14,840
Speaker 3: really is important. We have studies that show dark chocolate,

396
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:20,800
Speaker 3: leafy greens, coffee are all things that help improve your mood,

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Speaker 3: and those things are actually healthy for you too, And

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Speaker 3: so I think one of the things that I like

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Speaker 3: to recommend to people is to also consult with a

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Speaker 3: dietitian if you can consult or nutritionist, and if you

401
00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:42,720
Speaker 3: don't have access to those, consult your physician on what

402
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:47,280
Speaker 3: would be healthy eating habits that are affordable for you,

403
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:52,439
Speaker 3: so that that can also help improve your mood. I

404
00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:54,679
Speaker 3: know that sometimes what we tend to do, some of

405
00:23:54,760 --> 00:24:00,080
Speaker 3: us are emotional eaters, So if we're feeling depressed, we

406
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:04,399
Speaker 3: might be eating a lot of junk food or eating

407
00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:07,840
Speaker 3: bigger portions than we normally do, or for some of us,

408
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:10,439
Speaker 3: it maybe the exact opposite, when we're feeling sad, all

409
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Speaker 3: of a sudden, we have no appetite, or we find

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00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:16,760
Speaker 3: ourselves wanting to sleep a lot longer. The average adult

411
00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:20,359
Speaker 3: six to eight hours of sleep a night. If you

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Speaker 3: find that maybe let's say six hours is your norm

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Speaker 3: and now you're feeling sluggish and extreme fatigue and nine

414
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:34,960
Speaker 3: hours is what you find yourself needing to function, that

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Speaker 3: might be a sign of depression.

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Speaker 4: And so on our show.

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Speaker 3: Notes, we'll make sure that we list out tons of

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Speaker 3: different signs that you can look for, little things that

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Speaker 3: you want to be mindful of so that you can

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Speaker 3: pay attention and you can address what might be depression

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Speaker 3: and maybe get the help that you need. And the

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00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:02,000
Speaker 3: help can and can come in a variety of ways

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Speaker 3: for some of us, and y'all know, I'm always going

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Speaker 3: to encourage this therapy, seeking a therapist, having an unbiased.

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Speaker 4: Person that you can talk to.

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Speaker 3: I can't talk enough about how much I really really know, firsthand,

427
00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:26,320
Speaker 3: from personal experience and from professional experience, how much therapy

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00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:29,040
Speaker 3: can help. I second that I mean, and for some

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Speaker 3: of us, even beyond therapy, for some of us, we

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00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:37,680
Speaker 3: might need medication. And that's a conversation that a lot

431
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Speaker 3: of us don't like to have. But if you've tried therapy,

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00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:44,960
Speaker 3: if you've tried taking walks, if you've tried meditation, if

433
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:49,520
Speaker 3: you've tried all the things and you still don't notice

434
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:54,960
Speaker 3: a change, consulting with your general physician who could give

435
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:59,760
Speaker 3: you a referral to a psychiatrist, might be what you

436
00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:03,639
Speaker 3: need need to jump start feeling better.

437
00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:06,320
Speaker 2: And one thing I want to add is that I

438
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:10,240
Speaker 2: know for me personally, whooh, this journey has been something

439
00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:13,520
Speaker 2: else I know for when I was younger, I used

440
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:15,800
Speaker 2: to be really good at numbing myself because I endure

441
00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:18,560
Speaker 2: so much pain, and so whether it was like physical abuse,

442
00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:21,360
Speaker 2: sexual abuse, I got very good at like not listening

443
00:26:21,359 --> 00:26:23,840
Speaker 2: to my body because I was in an environment that

444
00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:25,440
Speaker 2: didn't allow me to do that. And so when I

445
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:28,280
Speaker 2: got older and I realized, Okay, this trait of numbing

446
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 2: myself doesn't serve me anymore. So me, whether it's denying

447
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:33,440
Speaker 2: the feeling that I have on the inside and kind

448
00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:35,560
Speaker 2: of looking for someone else to see how they feel,

449
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:38,679
Speaker 2: or just totally not paying attention to the way that

450
00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:41,720
Speaker 2: I feel, it can be really detrimental to our success

451
00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:43,840
Speaker 2: and our health. And so I think just really getting

452
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:46,080
Speaker 2: in tune with you and like how what is my

453
00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:48,320
Speaker 2: body trying to tell me? Because when you get so

454
00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:51,240
Speaker 2: good at ignoring those signals, it can just be very

455
00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:52,919
Speaker 2: very bad in the end because then you don't know

456
00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:55,560
Speaker 2: how to Your body tells you to give you signals

457
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:56,800
Speaker 2: for a reason, So if you don't know how to

458
00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:59,040
Speaker 2: listen to those signals, then where do you end up.

459
00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:04,120
Speaker 3: Exactly, listening to your body can really be helpful paying attention.

460
00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:07,440
Speaker 3: Like you mentioned before about just taking a note, there's

461
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:11,520
Speaker 3: a mood track or app, and there will and we'll

462
00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:12,320
Speaker 3: put links to that.

463
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:14,080
Speaker 4: I shall know that too.

464
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:17,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, there are tons of apps. These doesn't app for

465
00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:21,879
Speaker 3: everything they and that mood track or app will allow

466
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:26,960
Speaker 3: you to kind of really keep track of when you're

467
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:30,760
Speaker 3: feeling high, when you're feeling low, or when you're feeling

468
00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:32,840
Speaker 3: just at what we would call a baseline, what is

469
00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:35,400
Speaker 3: your norm, And it'll give you a lot of good

470
00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:38,480
Speaker 3: data that actually you could bring back to your doctor,

471
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:41,680
Speaker 3: bring back to your therapist and to kind of help

472
00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:46,600
Speaker 3: pinpoint well, is it a hormonal thing or is it situational? Like,

473
00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:50,280
Speaker 3: are there certain circumstances in my world that cause me

474
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:53,720
Speaker 3: to feel happy? And so maybe I need to bring

475
00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:57,760
Speaker 3: those circumstances around more often, or there are certain things

476
00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:00,600
Speaker 3: that are making me really feel low. Maybe I need

477
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:04,080
Speaker 3: to find a way, if possible, to eliminate those things

478
00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:08,040
Speaker 3: from my world. And one of the things that I

479
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:12,880
Speaker 3: also wanted us to touch on is how depression can

480
00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:16,320
Speaker 3: look in other forms, show up in other ways. So

481
00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:26,199
Speaker 3: there's postpartum depression, which a lot of women experience. There's

482
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:36,400
Speaker 3: depression with seasonal appearances. And so that means that during

483
00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:40,120
Speaker 3: the winter timeline right now, even though technically it's March

484
00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:43,880
Speaker 3: and we're supposed to be moving into springtime, when there's

485
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:49,400
Speaker 3: cold weather and our days are a lot shorter, so

486
00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:52,800
Speaker 3: we spend more time in the darkness, we tend to

487
00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:57,240
Speaker 3: have lower mood, We tend to feel sad. If you know,

488
00:28:57,320 --> 00:29:01,240
Speaker 3: I know around here it's been the last couple of months.

489
00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:06,040
Speaker 5: It's been so rainy, and I can't even tell you

490
00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:11,200
Speaker 5: how many people will say, will just casually say, man,

491
00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:13,520
Speaker 5: this rang just takes away all my energy.

492
00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:15,920
Speaker 4: This rang just makes me feel sad.

493
00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:22,360
Speaker 3: If that's something that happens for you on a consistent basis,

494
00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:28,080
Speaker 3: then you may have seasonal effective disorder. One of the

495
00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:31,400
Speaker 3: things that I want to make sure that we don't

496
00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:34,360
Speaker 3: walk away from, or that we definitely.

497
00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:37,120
Speaker 4: Touch on, is that suicide.

498
00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:39,240
Speaker 3: That's something that a lot of people don't like to

499
00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:44,200
Speaker 3: talk about, but currently suicide is the tenth leading cause

500
00:29:44,240 --> 00:29:47,560
Speaker 3: of death in the United States. According to National Institute

501
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:50,640
Speaker 3: of Mental Health. It's the second leading cause of death

502
00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:55,280
Speaker 3: among people the ages of fifteen to twenty four. Wow,

503
00:29:56,840 --> 00:30:02,280
Speaker 3: forty four thousand Americans die by suiticide every year Jeeuz

504
00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:10,440
Speaker 3: Women attempt suicide twice as often as men, twice as often.

505
00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:15,480
Speaker 3: Suicide is a serious thing. If you or someone you

506
00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:20,480
Speaker 3: know is having thoughts of not wanting to be here,

507
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:27,240
Speaker 3: having thoughts of wanting to end your life. I recommend

508
00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:31,440
Speaker 3: that you call one eight hundred two seventy three TALK.

509
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:36,360
Speaker 3: That's the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. And again that number

510
00:30:36,640 --> 00:30:41,840
Speaker 3: is one eight hundred two seven three eight two five five.

511
00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:47,680
Speaker 3: Suicide is really y'all. And if you really are thinking

512
00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:50,840
Speaker 3: of ending your life, there is help out there for you,

513
00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:53,360
Speaker 3: and we want to make sure that you get it.

514
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:56,640
Speaker 2: And you are not alone, whether you're struggling with depression,

515
00:30:56,800 --> 00:31:00,440
Speaker 2: suicide ideations. I mean, many of us have been there before,

516
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:04,120
Speaker 2: and you're not alone. Don't judge yourself, don't don't be

517
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:06,800
Speaker 2: so hard on yourself. We are living in we are

518
00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:09,920
Speaker 2: living in some tough times, right and so definitely don't

519
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,080
Speaker 2: do that, Like, don't beat yourself up. It is okay

520
00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:13,680
Speaker 2: and there's a way out. And I do want to

521
00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:16,840
Speaker 2: also remind you to check on your strong friends. I

522
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:20,120
Speaker 2: think we all have those friends that check on everybody else.

523
00:31:20,160 --> 00:31:22,239
Speaker 2: They're everyone else's resource. If you can think of that

524
00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:25,360
Speaker 2: person or those people in your life right now, who

525
00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:27,840
Speaker 2: are those people that you always go to for support,

526
00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:30,240
Speaker 2: or that are always in your corner, or that are

527
00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:33,640
Speaker 2: always you know, offering resources and advice. Check on those

528
00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:35,760
Speaker 2: people and reach I encourage you to reach out to

529
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:39,160
Speaker 2: them with no expectation of anything in return. So just

530
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:41,840
Speaker 2: whether it's a text message or a phone call, to

531
00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:44,200
Speaker 2: let them know that you love them, you appreciate them.

532
00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:47,040
Speaker 2: Do that and leave us a comment and let us

533
00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:48,640
Speaker 2: know how that is, because I think that person would

534
00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:52,080
Speaker 2: really appreciate it. And also, in addition to your strong friends,

535
00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:54,560
Speaker 2: don't forget to check on your black friends and your

536
00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:58,640
Speaker 2: friends of color, because we are living in a time

537
00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:00,920
Speaker 2: where you know, black PEO people and people of color

538
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:04,480
Speaker 2: are constantly being traumatized in the media and in this

539
00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:06,520
Speaker 2: system of white supremacy that we live in, and so

540
00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:08,880
Speaker 2: I think it's really important to check on them because

541
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:11,360
Speaker 2: oftentimes we go to work with a smile on our

542
00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:13,480
Speaker 2: face and we just saw someone that looks like us

543
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:16,080
Speaker 2: being gunned down by a police officer on the news,

544
00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:20,160
Speaker 2: and that's becoming just so mainstream that it's not really

545
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:23,320
Speaker 2: causing uproar like it should. And so check on your people,

546
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:24,760
Speaker 2: check on your friends.

547
00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:27,800
Speaker 3: And if you are that strong friend, know that it

548
00:32:27,880 --> 00:32:33,480
Speaker 3: is okay to reach out if you find yourself having

549
00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:38,480
Speaker 3: a low point, or if you find yourself being in

550
00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:41,320
Speaker 3: the hotel room when you're supposed to be at a

551
00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:46,760
Speaker 3: speaking engagement and your life feels lie on the outside,

552
00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:51,440
Speaker 3: it looks lit and you find yourself crying. Reach out

553
00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:52,880
Speaker 3: to your support system.

554
00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:54,720
Speaker 4: Terry, I'm talking.

555
00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:56,480
Speaker 2: To you now, yes, ma'am, I sure do. I've been

556
00:32:56,560 --> 00:32:59,400
Speaker 2: using that support system girl, and know that it is okay.

557
00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:04,440
Speaker 3: It is okay, and support system is there for you.

558
00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:08,080
Speaker 3: Her space is there for you.

559
00:33:08,680 --> 00:33:12,120
Speaker 2: That's right. And be sure to forward this podcast episode

560
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:14,959
Speaker 2: to anyone in your corner that you think could benefit

561
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:17,240
Speaker 2: from the content. We definitely want to keep this conversation

562
00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:22,120
Speaker 2: going and remove the stigma around mental health and depression.

563
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:24,920
Speaker 2: So we hope you enjoyed this episode and feel free

564
00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:26,800
Speaker 2: to rewind. Take a look at the show notes for

565
00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:30,440
Speaker 2: the resources, and we'll see you next week.

566
00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:35,440
Speaker 3: Thanks for joining us today in her Space. Please note

567
00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:39,520
Speaker 3: that our show may contain conversations about self health, advice,

568
00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:43,000
Speaker 3: self empowerment, and mental health, but it is by no

569
00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:46,160
Speaker 3: means meant to be a substitute for an ongoing formal

570
00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:50,400
Speaker 3: relationship with a trained mental health provider. If you are

571
00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:53,040
Speaker 3: someone you know is in need of mental health care,

572
00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:57,320
Speaker 3: please visit the Thera People, Black Girls Directory Psychology today

573
00:33:57,960 --> 00:34:01,560
Speaker 3: or contact your insurance provider If you.

574
00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:04,400
Speaker 2: Liked what you heard and want to keep the conversation going.

575
00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:10,160
Speaker 2: Connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter at her

576
00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:16,600
Speaker 2: space podcast, or check out our website at herspacepodcast dot com.

577
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:21,120
Speaker 2: And before we meet again, repeat after me, I am

578
00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:25,080
Speaker 2: not defined by where I come from or what happened

579
00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:29,239
Speaker 2: to me. I get to create my own destiny.

580
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:35,360
Speaker 4: Thanks for joining us. We'll see you next week. Lady