1 00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:03,640 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you need 2 00:00:03,640 --> 00:00:07,520 Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more, please 3 00:00:07,560 --> 00:00:10,560 Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com Click 4 00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:15,040 Speaker 1: Submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter live 5 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:17,360 Speaker 1: on the air. It's like we're gonna read this one 6 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:19,919 Speaker 1: right here, right now. That's for your cha. When you're here, 7 00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:22,680 Speaker 1: bugle up and hold on tight. We got it for 8 00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:26,320 Speaker 1: you here. It is the Strawberry Letter, all right. Subject 9 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:29,920 Speaker 1: he wants women on the side. Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm 10 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:33,040 Speaker 1: a twenty eight year old professional woman living with my 11 00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:36,519 Speaker 1: thirty three year old boyfriend. We've been dating for almost 12 00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:39,120 Speaker 1: two years and we've had a lot of ups and 13 00:00:39,159 --> 00:00:41,560 Speaker 1: downs because he doesn't have a lot of respect for women. 14 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:45,120 Speaker 1: He thinks women are loyal, They aren't loyal, and women 15 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:48,320 Speaker 1: only date men with money and trade up if a 16 00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:51,640 Speaker 1: flash here richer guy comes along. We've broken up a 17 00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:54,840 Speaker 1: few times over his insecurity, and each time he begs 18 00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:58,600 Speaker 1: me back. I am doing age appropriate stuff on social media, 19 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:01,480 Speaker 1: like posting a selfie when my makeup is perfect or 20 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:03,880 Speaker 1: when I'm dressed up to go out with him, or 21 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:06,400 Speaker 1: a pick from brunch if I go out with my girlfriends. 22 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:08,920 Speaker 1: He doesn't like it when men comment on my beauty 23 00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:13,280 Speaker 1: or my booty. I have curves and i can't hide 24 00:01:13,319 --> 00:01:16,080 Speaker 1: them in my clothes, and I'm not trying to. Whenever 25 00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:18,119 Speaker 1: he gets upset with me, he goes out with other 26 00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:22,160 Speaker 1: females and he tells me about it afterwards by saying 27 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:25,360 Speaker 1: they're just nice women he's met on social media and 28 00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:28,280 Speaker 1: it's harmless. At first, I thought it was a joke 29 00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:30,720 Speaker 1: and he was just trying to make me jealous. But 30 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:34,480 Speaker 1: I read his DMS and the comments weren't. We're telling 31 00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:37,399 Speaker 1: him thanks for a great date, and they were looking 32 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:40,280 Speaker 1: forward to seeing him again. I asked him if he 33 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:43,840 Speaker 1: was crazy, and I demanded that he stopped entertaining other women. 34 00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:48,120 Speaker 1: He said, it's insurance in case one of the handsome 35 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:52,840 Speaker 1: men on Instagram gets my attention and takes me from him. 36 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:55,920 Speaker 1: This is all very childish to me, and I've put 37 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:58,760 Speaker 1: too much sweat and tears into this relationship to have 38 00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:02,880 Speaker 1: it end over something so stupid. I would never flirt 39 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:05,920 Speaker 1: with or go out with another mail that I met 40 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:09,520 Speaker 1: on social media, especially while I'm dating him. How can 41 00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:13,880 Speaker 1: I get him to stop disrespecting our relationships, well it 42 00:02:13,919 --> 00:02:17,720 Speaker 1: doesn't look like you can. And him dating other women 43 00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:20,919 Speaker 1: and telling you it's insurance in case a handsome man 44 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:25,639 Speaker 1: on Instagram takes you from him is not stupid. Okay, 45 00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:29,440 Speaker 1: it's cheating. It's just cheating. That's what it is. I mean, 46 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:33,280 Speaker 1: plain and simple. It's total disrespect for you. And it 47 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:36,559 Speaker 1: begs the question why are you with this fool? Why 48 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:42,000 Speaker 1: we don't care that he thinks women are disloyal or 49 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:44,640 Speaker 1: that they only date men with money and blah blah blah, 50 00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:49,120 Speaker 1: So what we don't care anything about that. That's his stupid, insecure, 51 00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:53,800 Speaker 1: controlling opinion, and please don't buy into it any longer. 52 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:56,520 Speaker 1: Stop it. You got to stop it now. He's using it. 53 00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:59,480 Speaker 1: He's playing you to get what he wants, and that's 54 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:03,760 Speaker 1: women on the side. Like you titled your letter, you know, 55 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:06,639 Speaker 1: tell him the jig is up. You know what's up, 56 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:08,760 Speaker 1: you know what he's trying to do. He can't trick 57 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,359 Speaker 1: you anymore. You're tired of it. You've been with him 58 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:14,600 Speaker 1: for two years. This has got to stop and you're 59 00:03:14,639 --> 00:03:17,560 Speaker 1: moving on if he doesn't change his ways, and it 60 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:19,720 Speaker 1: doesn't look like he is. I mean, this is the 61 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:24,880 Speaker 1: dumbest thing ever insurance. That's a new one and really 62 00:03:24,919 --> 00:03:31,680 Speaker 1: really stupid Steve. This this letter right here, it's ridiculous. Yeah, now, 63 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:34,480 Speaker 1: young lady, you're twenty eight years old. So uncle Steve, 64 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:36,880 Speaker 1: you're gonna help you out here. So here's a deal. 65 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:40,040 Speaker 1: This is the deal. I'm not gonna play with you. 66 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:42,840 Speaker 1: This ain't funny. I'm gonna show you how this game 67 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:46,320 Speaker 1: working that he got going right here. You've been dating 68 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:49,320 Speaker 1: this dude. He thirty three, you're twenty eight, and you 69 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:54,120 Speaker 1: live with him. Yeah, it ain't like y'all say, y'all 70 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:58,760 Speaker 1: live together, and this is what he's doing. Y'all had 71 00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:01,839 Speaker 1: some ups and downs, and he doesn't have a lot 72 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:06,000 Speaker 1: of respect for women. Red flag. If he don't have 73 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:09,360 Speaker 1: respect from women, does that not include you? I think 74 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:12,200 Speaker 1: it does. Let me show you why he thinks women 75 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:14,800 Speaker 1: are loyal and women only date men with money and 76 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:17,440 Speaker 1: trade up. If a flash here richer guy comes along. 77 00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:20,320 Speaker 1: Let me explain something to your sister. This is game. 78 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:24,520 Speaker 1: What he's done is he has prepared. He has prepared 79 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:30,880 Speaker 1: a position statement. This is a prepared, positioned statement to 80 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:37,520 Speaker 1: justify his own actions. This is a prepared statement, he said. 81 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:41,200 Speaker 1: This is just designed for you all right, y'all and 82 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:44,320 Speaker 1: broke up. You get back. You do social media stuff, 83 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:47,880 Speaker 1: You post selfies, your makeup is perfect, You get dressed 84 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:50,359 Speaker 1: up to go out with him, or a picture you 85 00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:55,320 Speaker 1: going to girlfriend brunch. All that's cool. He doesn't like 86 00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:57,839 Speaker 1: him when men comment on your beauty or your booty. 87 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:00,400 Speaker 1: You got courage, You can't hire to me clothes. You 88 00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:02,600 Speaker 1: ain't trying to now here with it. When he get upset, 89 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:04,800 Speaker 1: he go out with other females and tells me about 90 00:05:04,839 --> 00:05:07,480 Speaker 1: it afterward by saying he's just nice women he met 91 00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:15,680 Speaker 1: on social media and harmless. What he that's the trade off. 92 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:18,960 Speaker 1: You posted picture, I'm gonna go out with another girl. 93 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:23,920 Speaker 1: Wa You go to brunch with your girlfriends and somebody 94 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:28,159 Speaker 1: comment on your picture I'm taking another girl out. That's 95 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:31,560 Speaker 1: the trade off. That don't seem a bit extreme to you? 96 00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:35,360 Speaker 1: Are you kidding me? Little girl? Listen to me. Don't 97 00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:39,800 Speaker 1: be stupid. Don't be stupid. You getting played and he's 98 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:42,159 Speaker 1: telling you. Why does he tell you he does this. 99 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:45,120 Speaker 1: He's telling you this so he can see how much 100 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:48,000 Speaker 1: he can get away with it, and so far he's 101 00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:53,160 Speaker 1: getting away with it, all, all of it. Then you 102 00:05:53,279 --> 00:05:55,880 Speaker 1: said at first I thought it was a joking. He 103 00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:59,560 Speaker 1: was just trying to make me jealous. A joke the 104 00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:09,120 Speaker 1: man something was this funny to you. Huh, this joke 105 00:06:09,279 --> 00:06:11,560 Speaker 1: that you thought was a joke, was just trying to 106 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:15,839 Speaker 1: make you jealous. What that's what you came with. You're 107 00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:19,279 Speaker 1: giving him way too much rope. And you know what 108 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:22,520 Speaker 1: he's doing with this rope. He hanging you with him. 109 00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:26,320 Speaker 1: He ain't hanging his self system. He hanging you with him. Now, 110 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:28,040 Speaker 1: when I come back, I'm gonna tell you the rest 111 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:29,640 Speaker 1: of it. I ain't got no jokes for you. I'm 112 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:31,560 Speaker 1: gonna help you out because if it's another woman out 113 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:34,400 Speaker 1: there in this position right here, don't be stupid. Now 114 00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:39,560 Speaker 1: you're professional, you got it going on. Don't be stupid, 115 00:06:38,839 --> 00:06:42,800 Speaker 1: Steve suhen we come back. All right, hold that thought, Steve. 116 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:45,680 Speaker 1: We'll have part two of your response coming up at 117 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:48,520 Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after the hour's subject he wants women 118 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:51,400 Speaker 1: on the side. We'll get back into it right after this. 119 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:56,240 Speaker 1: You're listening to Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right, come on, Steve, 120 00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:59,440 Speaker 1: let's recap today Strawberry letter. This subject he wants women 121 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:03,200 Speaker 1: on the side. Why this twenty eight year old professional 122 00:07:03,279 --> 00:07:07,240 Speaker 1: woman living with his thirty three year old food. This 123 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:11,600 Speaker 1: old ignorant ass doing y'all has some ups and down. 124 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:14,840 Speaker 1: He don't have a lot of respectful women, which means 125 00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:17,680 Speaker 1: he don't have respect for you because you are old woman. 126 00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:21,800 Speaker 1: He thinks that women aren't loyal and women only date 127 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:24,360 Speaker 1: men with money and trade up if a flashy, richer 128 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:26,680 Speaker 1: guy comes along. Once again, I'm gonna tell you what 129 00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:30,040 Speaker 1: this is. This is game. This is a prepared positioned 130 00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:34,400 Speaker 1: statement that he has created just for you to justify 131 00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:36,840 Speaker 1: his actions, because he's not even to stop doing nothing 132 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:39,960 Speaker 1: he's doing. So when you post stuff on social media 133 00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:43,640 Speaker 1: age appropriate selfish, you make up his right you're dressed 134 00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:46,280 Speaker 1: up to go out with him, or a picture from brunch. 135 00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:49,080 Speaker 1: When you go out with your girlfriend, he don't like 136 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:53,240 Speaker 1: it with men comment on the pictures. So now whenever 137 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:55,840 Speaker 1: he gets upset with you, he go out with other 138 00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:59,600 Speaker 1: females and he tell you about it afterwards, saying they 139 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:02,200 Speaker 1: just women he met on social media. So wait a minute. 140 00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:05,680 Speaker 1: So when you post a picture of yourself on social 141 00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:11,080 Speaker 1: media and he see a man commenting his comeback to that, 142 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:14,640 Speaker 1: His rebuttal is I'm taking a woman out with me. 143 00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:20,600 Speaker 1: That don't seem extreme to you, that don't seem like 144 00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:28,040 Speaker 1: a real that's not a that's not an exchange. So 145 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:34,400 Speaker 1: now you are living with a man who goes out 146 00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:41,280 Speaker 1: with other women while living in y'all shared space, and 147 00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:44,319 Speaker 1: he tells you he just made nice women and social media, 148 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,280 Speaker 1: so he's just trying to find out how much you 149 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:50,640 Speaker 1: can take. Okay, I thought it was a joke and 150 00:08:50,679 --> 00:08:52,640 Speaker 1: he was just trying to make me jealous once again. 151 00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:56,240 Speaker 1: Was this joke funny? Because it's not funny. Are you laughing? 152 00:08:56,280 --> 00:09:00,520 Speaker 1: Because we now so. Then you read this MS and 153 00:09:00,559 --> 00:09:02,920 Speaker 1: the comments were telling him thanks for a great date 154 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:06,600 Speaker 1: and they were looking forward to seeing him again. I 155 00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:09,000 Speaker 1: asked him if he was crazy, and I demanded that 156 00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:14,040 Speaker 1: he just stopped entertaining other women. You twenty eight, why 157 00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:18,240 Speaker 1: are you dealing with this? Why are you dealing with 158 00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:22,240 Speaker 1: a man so disrespectful that while you are living together 159 00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:28,520 Speaker 1: in the house, he's dating other women. What he said 160 00:09:28,559 --> 00:09:31,160 Speaker 1: this insurance in case one of the handsome men on 161 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:34,600 Speaker 1: Instagram getting my attention to take me from it. This 162 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:37,960 Speaker 1: is all childish to me, and I put, now, here's 163 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:40,120 Speaker 1: the product want you to pay attention to? I put 164 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:43,160 Speaker 1: too much sweat and tears into this relationship to have 165 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:46,880 Speaker 1: it in over something so stupid. No, listen to me, sister. 166 00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:51,360 Speaker 1: You put too much into this relationship to have it in. 167 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:55,800 Speaker 1: What relationship are you saving? This is a bad relationship. 168 00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:58,080 Speaker 1: You live with a guy that do what he wants 169 00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:00,840 Speaker 1: to and he ain't trying to apologize for it. So 170 00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:04,440 Speaker 1: you know what you've done. You've just made a bad investment, 171 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:07,560 Speaker 1: that's all. It's just been two years, that's all it is. 172 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:10,800 Speaker 1: Don't worry about the blood, sweat and tears, because if 173 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:13,200 Speaker 1: you continue, you're gonna get two more years of this 174 00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:16,320 Speaker 1: right here, because there's no sign of remorse in this 175 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:18,640 Speaker 1: letter for him. This, how he is, This what he 176 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:20,520 Speaker 1: gonna do, and then you can do about it. He 177 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:23,040 Speaker 1: has enough prepared statements to make you feel like you 178 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,959 Speaker 1: are the gold money. Now. You said I would never 179 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:28,760 Speaker 1: flutter go out with another male I met on social media, 180 00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:32,120 Speaker 1: especially while I'm dating him. Well, he don't feel that way. 181 00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:36,079 Speaker 1: He don't feel that way at all, because he dating you, 182 00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:37,840 Speaker 1: and he going out with whoever he want to and 183 00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:40,760 Speaker 1: they're all in his DM. How can I get him 184 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:49,480 Speaker 1: to stop disrespecting our relationship. You're wasting your damn time. 185 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:53,600 Speaker 1: The question is how can I get him to stop 186 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:57,880 Speaker 1: disrespecting our relationship? The question is why are you in 187 00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:02,839 Speaker 1: a disrespectful relationship. You ain't got to get him to 188 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:06,920 Speaker 1: stop disrespecting relationship. You need to get out of the relationship. 189 00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:11,679 Speaker 1: He's not disrespecting relationship. He disrespecting you. You told him 190 00:11:11,679 --> 00:11:15,320 Speaker 1: at the top of the letter. He doesn't respect women. 191 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:20,320 Speaker 1: You are a woman. He don't respect you. He's not 192 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:25,800 Speaker 1: disrespecting relationship. He's disrespecting you. He's not a good guy. 193 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:30,920 Speaker 1: He's not for you. I'm not gonna help you save 194 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:37,240 Speaker 1: a disrespectful relationship. Young lady, you're twenty eight. You obviously 195 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:42,120 Speaker 1: got it going on. You're intelligent, you're working, you do 196 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:47,800 Speaker 1: age appropriate stuff. And he's thirty three. And here, jiggolo, 197 00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:53,319 Speaker 1: you live with a man who dates other women while 198 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:57,640 Speaker 1: y'all live together and in a relationship. And he's not 199 00:11:57,760 --> 00:12:03,280 Speaker 1: said he's stopping because you know what those women are insurance? 200 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:08,480 Speaker 1: The insurance. Oh that's so dumb. How do you let 201 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:13,680 Speaker 1: a man tell you that that these other women are insurance? Right? Well, 202 00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:15,120 Speaker 1: you know what you need to do. You need cash. 203 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:18,480 Speaker 1: You in the policy. You need to get all the 204 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:23,160 Speaker 1: cash out of this policy because I'm gone get your stuff. 205 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,000 Speaker 1: Because you can do this by yourself, you can start, 206 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:29,760 Speaker 1: you can get somebody even to do this here. That's deep. 207 00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:32,160 Speaker 1: Go out with a woman and then tell you he 208 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:37,439 Speaker 1: go out with a whatness. It's so differant, bravest hand. Yeah, 209 00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:44,680 Speaker 1: he ain't got anough sense to lie. Tommy all right, Steve, 210 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:50,280 Speaker 1: thank you. Poster comments on on today's Strawberry Letter. It's 211 00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:53,760 Speaker 1: Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook. And don't forget 212 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:57,200 Speaker 1: to check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand now 213 00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:59,640 Speaker 1: coming up at forty six minutes after the hour. It's 214 00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:03,560 Speaker 1: for Stock with Junior. Right after this, you're listening to 215 00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:05,360 Speaker 1: the Stave Harvey Morning Show