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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

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Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime Podcasts.

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Speaker 2: And we have some foundational stories coming up for you.

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Speaker 1: But the thing is this foundation needs a little support

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Speaker 1: from these sponsors. So stick around two minutes and we'll

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Speaker 1: get into the episode.

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Speaker 3: My girlfriend left me for a married man and now

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Speaker 3: she wants to rekindle. No metri warnings are mentioned in

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Speaker 3: this story, so beware. September of this year would have

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Speaker 3: made it ten years with my girlfriend. Twenty eight female,

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Speaker 3: Me thirty male, and my girlfriend have been together since college.

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Speaker 3: We're the only people we've been with for more than

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Speaker 3: a few months, the only people we have each slept with.

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Speaker 3: We have grown into adults together and experienced all life

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Speaker 3: has to offer, both good and bad. By the way,

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Speaker 3: this comes from a rusty shackle Ford seven to seven

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Speaker 3: to one, and if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 3: go to the r slash Okay Storytime.

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Speaker 4: Separate it and I'm Angie, I'm Sophia, and we're here

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Speaker 4: to give good advice goofully, But we don't have all

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Speaker 4: the answers, so we're just gonna guess what we would

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Speaker 4: do in this situation. Let us know what you would

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Speaker 4: do in the comments.

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Speaker 3: Last March, right before the VID hit, we sold our

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Speaker 3: house and moved from a small town in a rural

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Speaker 3: state to the suburbs of a much more populated state

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Speaker 3: outside of major.

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Speaker 4: City for a promotion I got.

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Speaker 3: She was hesitant to go, but we wanted to have

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Speaker 3: new life experiences and see what living in a more

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Speaker 3: populated area had to offer, so we went for it.

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Speaker 3: When the VID hit, she couldn't find a job for months.

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Speaker 3: She finally did, but was not happy with it. Her

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Speaker 3: mental health declined as I was working six and seven

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Speaker 3: days a week as a manager for an essential business

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Speaker 3: during the pandemic. At the start of November, she said

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Speaker 3: she had a mental breakdown at work and couldn't go

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Speaker 3: back for a while. She then left for eight nights

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Speaker 3: unannounced and did not communicate much at all. She said

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Speaker 3: she was staying with her one good work friend, but

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Speaker 3: there were other people with them doing substances. They were

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Speaker 3: working on getting another friend into rehab. I was shocked

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Speaker 3: and worried because this is not like her at all.

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Speaker 4: She comes back for a week.

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Speaker 3: Tries going back to work, and can't even make it

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Speaker 3: a full day. She quits at this she's apologizing, saying

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Speaker 3: she needs to focus on her mental health. She has

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Speaker 3: to get through this on her own, needs some time

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Speaker 3: and space. She ends up getting her own place without

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Speaker 3: telling me. She moves out most of her stuff. The

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Speaker 3: whole time, I'm trying to support her, be there for her,

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Speaker 3: give her space whatever she needs. She keeps apologizing, I

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Speaker 3: knew something was going on. A month later, one of

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Speaker 3: her former coworkers facebook messages me a picture of her

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Speaker 3: and this guy taking a selfie.

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Speaker 4: She says, she's sorry, but I needed to know.

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Speaker 3: She says that they've been seeing each other since September.

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Speaker 4: No cheater. The guy is married with kids, and his

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Speaker 4: wife had him not long ago. Wow, she sucks. I

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Speaker 4: mean he's awful, So to be clear, yeah, both of them.

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Speaker 4: But like, like, but you know, we're talking about her

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Speaker 4: in this story, Like, yeah, he's awful, but like, why

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Speaker 4: are you getting into a relationship with a married man

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Speaker 4: with kids and wife? Why are we doing that? That's

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Speaker 4: that's steer clear of those gosh.

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Speaker 3: Her coworker says he's also overcovering a regular user who

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Speaker 3: relied at the start.

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Speaker 4: Of the year.

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Speaker 3: He finally calls and confesses the next day after I

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Speaker 3: messaged her about it. She says they're in love. She

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Speaker 3: a twenty eight female, is in love with a fifty

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Speaker 3: male recovering maybe married, substance regular user. He treats her

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Speaker 3: right and takes care of her in ways that I don't.

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Speaker 3: She is almost certainly manipulating her.

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Speaker 4: I think this all.

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Speaker 3: Stems from the passing of her father in twenty eighteen

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Speaker 3: from his own cancer battle. She has never grieved and

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Speaker 3: processed that trauma. She also has childhood trauma from her

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Speaker 3: mother being a substance regular user. Daddy issues lots of

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Speaker 3: trauma depression. It means that she's an easy target for manipulation.

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Speaker 3: We're obviously done for good, but I wanted to share

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Speaker 3: my story because I feel that it is an unusual

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Speaker 3: one and I am feeling alone in a place without

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Speaker 3: friends or family to talk to you right now.

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Speaker 4: Any advice please? There is an update, tire, But I mean,

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Speaker 4: just you know, you don't have like you said, you

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Speaker 4: don't have friends or family. Therapis, Yeah, like a therapist

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Speaker 4: is sure, joining us club, building a support you know

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Speaker 4: through that network. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I feel like learning like a is maybe try not

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Speaker 3: to learn anything else from this friend.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I think It's like you talk to your coworker

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Speaker 4: and you say, hey, I appreciate that you're giving me,

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Speaker 4: you know, information, but I really I don't need to

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Speaker 4: hear any more about her. We're not together anymore.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think learning more would just like make it

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Speaker 3: worse for you because you couldn't do anything about it

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Speaker 3: either way. So yeah, just make things worse.

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Speaker 4: We do have an update.

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Speaker 3: I want to thank everyone for the support and kind words,

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Speaker 3: as well as the guidance. Most of you, even those younger,

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Speaker 3: have more relationship experience than I do. Looking back, I've

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Speaker 3: been enabling her and haven't seen it for so long.

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Speaker 3: Many of you so that this is just as much

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Speaker 3: her fault as it is his, if not more.

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Speaker 4: You are right.

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Speaker 3: Mental illness, anxiety, depression are all valid, but don't make

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Speaker 3: her actions okay. The coworker that contacted me said, the

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Speaker 3: wife and family know and are obviously very hurt. I

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Speaker 3: am going to go for an STD test as well

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Speaker 3: as seek therapy. Our lease was up after February, but

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Speaker 3: the landlord had someone interested and said that she would

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Speaker 3: pay me back for the last month if I can leave,

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Speaker 3: so I will be finding a new place asap. All

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Speaker 3: passwords are changed, joint accounts taken care of. Credit was

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Speaker 3: already frozen. I think I have everything covered as far

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Speaker 3: as that goes.

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Speaker 4: Last, I knew the not getting married question would come up.

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Speaker 3: We have actually been engaged since December and twenty sixteen.

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Speaker 4: Day, so y'all been engaged for a while years.

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Speaker 3: Her father's came back early twenty seventeen, and he passed

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Speaker 3: away March twenty eighteen. She hasn't been in any head

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Speaker 3: space since to get married. We were planning again for

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Speaker 3: twenty twenty, but we moved and then the VID hit.

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Speaker 3: I had my reservations about getting married before she fixed

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Speaker 3: her mental health and anxiety issues, as well as her

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Speaker 3: letting her physical fitness completely go downhill. I know now

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Speaker 3: it wasn't ever going to get fixed. With us together

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Speaker 3: and me there for her. This is all a valuable

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Speaker 3: experience and is for the best, as most of you

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Speaker 3: have said, thank you, And we.

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Speaker 4: Do have a second update. I hope it's just like

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Speaker 4: I'm doing well and I've gone the therapy.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I heard some crazy thing about what they are doing,

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Speaker 5: but it's not.

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Speaker 4: I didn't listen.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, So we've got second update here. I want

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Speaker 3: to start by thanking everyone again for the replies and

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Speaker 3: advice on my original posts. I also want to let

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Speaker 3: everyone know that you were pretty much all correct in

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Speaker 3: the assumptions and how this would play out. After fighting

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Speaker 3: out the day after Christmas, I spent the next week

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Speaker 3: going back and forth with my Eggs about different things,

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Speaker 3: splitting phone plans, bank accounts, her taking the rest of

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Speaker 3: her stuff, et cetera. I've wanted this to end, so

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Speaker 3: I finally agreed to drive to their place so her

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Speaker 3: and I could make a few calls to square some

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Speaker 3: things away and I could give her the rest of

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Speaker 3: her stuff and take care of this mess once and

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Speaker 3: for all. I get there and she comes to my

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Speaker 3: car and stands there to make the first call we

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Speaker 3: need to make. She goes through the phone menus to

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Speaker 3: talk to someone and ben hangs up.

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Speaker 4: I said, what are you doing?

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Speaker 3: She says sorry and calls again, same thing, goes through

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Speaker 3: phone menus, gets off on hold this.

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Speaker 4: Time, and then hangs up.

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Speaker 3: I'm getting pissed at this point, obviously, but she throws

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Speaker 3: a folded up piece of paper quickly into my car

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Speaker 3: before hanging up.

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Speaker 4: The second time, and says, don't touch it. Read it later.

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Speaker 3: Okay, So I say, yeah, but what about your stuff

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Speaker 3: and the calls that we need to make and everything.

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Speaker 3: She says, don't worry about it. It goes back inside.

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Speaker 3: So I drive away and read the note immediately, and

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Speaker 3: it's basically a few sentences saying her mother will be

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Speaker 3: calling me, but do not text or call her for

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Speaker 3: any reason, and it is very important that I do

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Speaker 3: not contact her. So her mother calls me shortly after

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Speaker 3: says that my ex that morning called her and said

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Speaker 3: she realized that she's messed up. The guy is up

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Speaker 3: and down on substances and controlling her every move, tracking

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Speaker 3: her phone, doesn't want her to leave the house, trying

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Speaker 3: to take her money and get as much as he

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Speaker 3: can from her.

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Speaker 4: He was cheating on his wife and like lying to

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Speaker 4: his kids to hang out with this woman who was

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Speaker 4: over twenty years younger than him.

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Speaker 3: Right, and he was supposedly like a recovering it's since

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Speaker 3: use her and then, but like relapsed earlier and obviously

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Speaker 3: has relapsed together.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm not surprised.

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Speaker 3: Her mother says she is going to get the police

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Speaker 3: involved to get her out of there. My ex told

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Speaker 3: her mother to ask if we could have a talk

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Speaker 3: about everything that she knows that she's made a huge mistake,

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Speaker 3: and she will go to therapy and do anything it

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Speaker 3: takes for us to get back together. She has been

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Speaker 3: trying to get away from the guy just to make

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Speaker 3: this call for help to her mother for a while now,

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Speaker 3: and Monday was the first chance she got.

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Speaker 4: She said, well, that's got scary. This is versus scary,

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Speaker 4: and I do hope that she gets out of the situation. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: that's like serious stuff. Holy crap.

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Speaker 3: So, like the idiot I am, I agreed to meet

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Speaker 3: her tonight in a parking lot at her friend's apartment complex.

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Speaker 4: To be fair, opee, Like, clearly, these aren't normal circumstances.

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Speaker 4: This is not you just like you know, getting wanting

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Speaker 4: to get back with an ex because you miss her.

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Speaker 4: This is your ex is clearly in a dangerous situation,

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Speaker 4: and you are worried for her because you were in

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Speaker 4: a relationship for ten years. I exactly her.

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Speaker 3: She told the affair partner that she was going there

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Speaker 3: to be with her friend, and he actually let her.

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Speaker 3: She was paranoid that he would show up. Yeah, this

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Speaker 3: has escalated, Yeah severely.

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Speaker 4: I really hope, Like whatever I think, whatever you can

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Speaker 4: do just you know, you don't have to get back

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Speaker 4: together with her, but saying, like, you know, I want

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Speaker 4: to help get you in contact with your mom. Do

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Speaker 4: you want me to get the police involved. Yeah, maybe

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Speaker 4: we can find you a place to shelter if mom's

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Speaker 4: house is not an option.

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Speaker 3: Right, So there is a little bit more into the story.

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Speaker 3: He did not show up, and we talked for an

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Speaker 3: hour about how sorry she is and how she finally

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Speaker 3: came out of the fog and realized how she's ruined

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Speaker 3: her life and she's scared and stuck with this guy.

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Speaker 3: She doesn't know what to do and has gone to

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Speaker 3: the doctors and is getting therapy. She wants me to

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Speaker 3: work on things with her while she goes to therapy,

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Speaker 3: so maybe we can get back to the great life

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Speaker 3: that she now says that she realizes we have. She's

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Speaker 3: scared to be alone while trying to fix herself without support.

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Speaker 3: I stood firm on my boundaries with her that this

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Speaker 3: is all her faults and that she caused this. She's

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Speaker 3: hurt me and I owe her nothing. It's still so

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Speaker 3: hard because I want to believe her and we did

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Speaker 3: have a good life for a long time. She seems

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Speaker 3: sincere of course that she I will get help and change,

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Speaker 3: but I can't give in and trust her.

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Speaker 5: It makes you.

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Speaker 3: Feel like you're the bad one ending the relationship. I

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Speaker 3: need to continue to respect myself and my boundaries and

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Speaker 3: move on. And that is the end of that story.

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Speaker 4: Well there you go. I agree, Yeah, I agree. I

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Speaker 4: think she needs to realize that she has this is

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Speaker 4: her own solo journey recovery and to being okay with

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Speaker 4: being by herself. It's clearly yeah, she has some problems

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Speaker 4: with codependency. And that's the end of this story. We're

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Speaker 4: going on to the next one. My cheating ex won't

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Speaker 4: leave me alone, even after I exposed him to everyone

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Speaker 4: exposed to what My ex fiance is part of a

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Speaker 4: sports club. I sent a text to his teammate urging

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Speaker 4: him to tell the women in the sports team who

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Speaker 4: slept with my ex fiance to get checked immediately. Yikes.

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Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from take a step at

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Speaker 4: a time, and if you want to smit your own stories,

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Speaker 4: go to the r slash Okay story time, separate it.

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Speaker 4: I'm Sophia, I'm Carly, and we're here to give good advice. Goofully,

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Speaker 4: But we don't have all the answers, we only know

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Speaker 4: what we'd do, so let us know what you do.

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Speaker 4: In the comments, and OHP says they all have group chats,

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Speaker 4: all know each other, and all sleep with each other.

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Speaker 4: According to my ex, I grew tired of being the

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Speaker 4: gatekeeper of my ex's image. I suffered because he did

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Speaker 4: not tell me he had been sleeping around during my

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Speaker 4: pregnancy and after I gave birth. Oh my goodness, no,

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Speaker 4: I'm just imagining that. Like it seems like he might

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Speaker 4: have had an STD, which is so it sounds like awful.

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Speaker 4: And also, if you knowingly give someone an STD, that

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Speaker 4: is a crime, so arrest him. I only found out

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Speaker 4: because I suffered for months and the doctor has exhausted

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Speaker 4: all possibilities and tried various medicines. Thank god for science.

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Speaker 4: The regular health checks allowed me to have a specific

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Speaker 4: window of when the cheating occurred. Due to the positive test,

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Speaker 4: he couldn't gaslight the results. This is why testing is important,

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Speaker 4: even with your spouse. Part of me wanted those women

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Speaker 4: to get checked because they don't deserve to feel that

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Speaker 4: pain or lose their ability to have kids. The partners

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Speaker 4: don't deserve it. If my fiance father to my child

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Speaker 4: couldn't tell me. He certainly would not have told them,

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Speaker 4: But I would be lying if I didn't say that.

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Speaker 4: I feel good knowing they will be the ones scrambling

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Speaker 4: around to get a health check, stressing, waiting months for

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Speaker 4: results and retesting. They have to deal with a public

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Speaker 4: humiliation amongst their peers. And I don't have to hold

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Speaker 4: this to myself anymore. I know a lot of you

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Speaker 4: won't agree or understand this, and common one says, think

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Speaker 4: of it this way, you may have stopped a minor epidemic. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: I know, I understand and agree that you should tell everyone,

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Speaker 4: literally everyone you think that he may have come in

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Speaker 4: contact with, like spicily, they got to know. Comment two says,

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Speaker 4: why would you be downvoted? I don't see how what

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Speaker 4: you did was wrong op he says. I thought i'd

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Speaker 4: be called vengeful or petty. Another reply says, absolutely not.

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Speaker 4: Your ex is a playgrat you, on the other hand,

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Speaker 4: looked out for the health of others. Exposing his foul

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00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:55,640
Speaker 4: behavior is only a delightful side benefit. Reply not disclosing

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Speaker 4: your spicy partners that you have received or you have

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00:12:58,559 --> 00:13:03,360
Speaker 4: previously contracted a spy disease is illegal in some places. Yep,

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Speaker 4: you just saved those people from potential infertility or like

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Speaker 4: even worse, a blood disease common three. I'm glad I'm

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Speaker 4: not the only one who thinks this way. I applaud

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Speaker 4: you and totally understand the way you feel. I actually

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Speaker 4: called the health department and told them I wanted to

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Speaker 4: give them the affair partner's name. The lady basically scolded

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Speaker 4: me and said I'm not gonna call her, Like what,

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Speaker 4: what an idiot? So let me get this straight. If

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Speaker 4: someone coughs on me and I get the VID, they

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00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:32,760
Speaker 4: do contact tracing, try to identify who has it, interview people,

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Speaker 4: intercept people, et cetera. But if you get an STD

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00:13:35,679 --> 00:13:37,960
Speaker 4: the doctors and nurses are required to report it to

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Speaker 4: the health department, along with your partner's name and numbers,

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Speaker 4: so they can contact them and tell them they need treatment.

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Speaker 4: But if you try to tell them about additional people

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Speaker 4: they should contact, they scold you. Anyone else see a

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Speaker 4: problem here? That is pretty ridiculous. You should, I mean

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Speaker 4: they should be contacting literally everyone. Yeah, I think at

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Speaker 4: all possible. OPI says the policy actually makes sense. The

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Speaker 4: person that was in direct contact with a person should

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Speaker 4: be the one to do it. If you add no

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Speaker 4: direct contact with person, then there is no guarantee that

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Speaker 4: it isn't just rumor or hearsay. Lives can be ruined

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Speaker 4: by making a call that ends up being a mistake.

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Speaker 4: People make mistakes all the time and accusing the wrong people.

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Speaker 4: This is a bargain with too much to lose. Well, No,

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Speaker 4: I actually disagree with us because what you can send,

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Speaker 4: and I think what they do send is like for

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Speaker 4: the VID, they say, hey, you may have been in

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Speaker 4: contact with someone who gets like had the VID, So

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Speaker 4: I feel like they could you know obviously, Sometimes it's

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Speaker 4: going to be a little bit more obvious. Yeah, I

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Speaker 4: can see a lot of partners.

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Speaker 5: Her saying like it could potentially put someone into harm's way.

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Speaker 5: But at the end of the day, like not knowing

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Speaker 5: could put you in more harm for a lot of these,

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Speaker 5: So I feel like you should know.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, Like I'd rather put down a rumor rather than

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Speaker 4: have to, you know, worry about someone getting an SDD.

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Speaker 4: And I don't even think so much.

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Speaker 5: It's like in that case you would have to put

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Speaker 5: down like a public rumor.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, many, it's going to like.

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Speaker 5: It'll just be a plice you kind of exactly. That's

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Speaker 5: just like you can totally keep that contained, but not

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00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:07,520
Speaker 5: knowing for something that is Yeah, that big could be bad.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and there is an update. So he we are

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00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:13,480
Speaker 4: both in our twenties, asked for another chance, and of

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Speaker 4: course I said no. Yeah, I have restricted our communications.

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00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:20,440
Speaker 4: He can only reach me through emails. However, he has

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Speaker 4: decided he doesn't want to communicate at all if he

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Speaker 4: can't call me. I to speak to him last week

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Speaker 4: for our child, who has an ongoing problem that required healthcare.

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Speaker 4: When we return from an appointment, he said we needed

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Speaker 4: to talk, so I entertained him. He started to say

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Speaker 4: it's been difficult for him us not speaking for two

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Speaker 4: to three weeks because of what he did, and he

349
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Speaker 4: can't sleep at it. He has taken a valve of

350
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:47,120
Speaker 4: celibacy until he gets married. Yikes, guys, stinks. He's stressed

351
00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:49,040
Speaker 4: that in the past, when we were together, he was

352
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Speaker 4: trying to fix his mistakes rather than changing himself to

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Speaker 4: become a better man, and that he didn't have confidence.

354
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Speaker 4: I don't know what that has to do with me.

355
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Speaker 4: Now he's working out, eating and dressing well, investing and studying,

356
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Speaker 4: et cetera. He wants us to be a family. He

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Speaker 4: wants to treat me as a woman, he wants to

358
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Speaker 4: be a father to our child, and would like to

359
00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:09,160
Speaker 4: marry at the beginning of twenty twenty two. Wow, that

360
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,880
Speaker 4: sounds like such a great deal.

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Speaker 5: He's like, I'm being celibate till marriage. Do you want

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Speaker 5: to get married next year?

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Speaker 4: Do I get married? Like as next week? What are

364
00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:23,200
Speaker 4: you doing Tuesday? I want to get married? Am I

365
00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:24,200
Speaker 4: std free?

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Speaker 6: No?

367
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Speaker 4: Have I told any of the girls I cheated with?

368
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:28,400
Speaker 5: No?

369
00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:34,520
Speaker 4: I later messaged him to politely decline this wonderful opportunity.

370
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:36,360
Speaker 4: I told him that I would like to focus on

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Speaker 4: what I'm doing now, that he's probably lonely or guilty

372
00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:41,760
Speaker 4: and he should get over it. Approaching me as he

373
00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:44,440
Speaker 4: did was just embarrassing, given that he cheated on me

374
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Speaker 4: while I carried his child and after I gave birth,

375
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Speaker 4: and he kept his loose ways a secret for a

376
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Speaker 4: year until I had that positive result. I also asked

377
00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:55,280
Speaker 4: him what he planned to bring into my life. Will

378
00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:57,800
Speaker 4: he secure my future? Will he make my life easier?

379
00:16:57,960 --> 00:17:00,240
Speaker 4: Will he love me? I blocked him because I don't

380
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:02,000
Speaker 4: care for an answer. Did I tell him all the

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Speaker 4: things I wanted in a husband.

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Speaker 5: No.

383
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Speaker 4: Did I tell him he needed to deal with his

384
00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:10,359
Speaker 4: misogynistic ideologies? No, because that's not my problem. Why should

385
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:12,359
Speaker 4: I give this man a blueprint to become a better

386
00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:14,879
Speaker 4: man so he can use me one last time or

387
00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:17,360
Speaker 4: be the perfect man for another woman. This is why

388
00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:20,439
Speaker 4: you should cut contact with cheating exes, because they just

389
00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:25,439
Speaker 4: need something from you, whether it's your attention, expertise, intimacy, money,

390
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:28,160
Speaker 4: or advice. Anyway, he called me from an unknown number,

391
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:31,040
Speaker 4: requesting the measurements for our child's room in my house.

392
00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:35,560
Speaker 4: I asked what for he said to decorate. I had

393
00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:38,680
Speaker 4: previously told him that I would decorate alone. I later

394
00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:41,960
Speaker 4: asked why he wasn't respecting my decision to decorate alone,

395
00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:44,359
Speaker 4: just to see his response. Then he accused me of

396
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Speaker 4: not letting him be a part of our child's life,

397
00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:49,280
Speaker 4: or that I am making decisions for our child telling

398
00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:51,399
Speaker 4: him what our one year old child likes. He is

399
00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:54,200
Speaker 4: allowed in our child's life, just not as much in mine.

400
00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:56,600
Speaker 4: He is allowed to be a father in his own

401
00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:59,399
Speaker 4: home on his own time. I am not here to

402
00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:01,720
Speaker 4: stroke this man's ego and make him feel like a

403
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:04,280
Speaker 4: better father when he couldn't do the right thing when

404
00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:07,280
Speaker 4: we were together or apart, and I gave him chance

405
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:10,200
Speaker 4: after chance. I simply explained to him that these are

406
00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:12,879
Speaker 4: the consequences of his actions. He wanted to cheat, so

407
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:15,440
Speaker 4: obviously he didn't want to be a part of this family.

408
00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:18,040
Speaker 4: He went further by being abusive and is now being

409
00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:20,840
Speaker 4: treated accordingly. I did not buy him a Christmas gift.

410
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,120
Speaker 4: I did not speak to him on Christmas. I didn't

411
00:18:23,119 --> 00:18:25,159
Speaker 4: wish him a happy New Year, and now he's feeling

412
00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:28,040
Speaker 4: lonely and struggling. I don't pretend to get along for

413
00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:31,040
Speaker 4: the sake of my child, but only keep things amicable.

414
00:18:31,359 --> 00:18:34,280
Speaker 4: If he finds that uncomfortable, so be it. From these

415
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:37,280
Speaker 4: small exchanges, I know that I will definitely not be

416
00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:40,000
Speaker 4: talking to him at all. And there is a second update,

417
00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:42,320
Speaker 4: But before we get into that, do you have any thoughts?

418
00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:46,800
Speaker 5: Oh, I mean, she sounds like she's done talking with him, and.

419
00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:48,840
Speaker 4: I feel like that's that's the way to be at

420
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:49,359
Speaker 4: this point.

421
00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:52,320
Speaker 5: I don't think like agreed she went back for a

422
00:18:52,359 --> 00:18:54,760
Speaker 5: couple questions that it's kind of just like you really

423
00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:57,119
Speaker 5: need to go back and text him again, but like

424
00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:58,760
Speaker 5: just yeah, be done with him?

425
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,159
Speaker 4: Yeah, No, I mean like you have to talk to

426
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:03,800
Speaker 4: him in terms of co parenting, but like keep it

427
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:07,120
Speaker 4: to that. He's got to keep trying to convince you.

428
00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:08,840
Speaker 4: You know that he loves you and all that, but

429
00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:10,720
Speaker 4: you know that he doesn't because he proved that to you.

430
00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:13,359
Speaker 5: I'm wondering if they maybe they said it and I

431
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,600
Speaker 5: missed it. I have some sort of custody agreement.

432
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:17,160
Speaker 4: Well I don't think yet.

433
00:19:17,359 --> 00:19:19,160
Speaker 5: Okay, I don't think they were ever even.

434
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:21,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't make me per se, but he is

435
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:24,800
Speaker 4: still his child. Yeah, so if.

436
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:26,800
Speaker 5: He doesn't want the custody, like that could become a

437
00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:28,760
Speaker 5: thing where maybe you guys can work something out, and

438
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:31,000
Speaker 5: then it could make things even smoother. You could have

439
00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:33,960
Speaker 5: to have less conversations with him because it's like you

440
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,400
Speaker 5: definitely have him these weekends.

441
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:37,600
Speaker 4: I definitely have him this time. That's probably like the

442
00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:39,399
Speaker 4: best way to go about it. But there is an update.

443
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:42,480
Speaker 4: My cheating ex fiance filed for bankruptcy.

444
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:43,320
Speaker 2: Nice.

445
00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:46,080
Speaker 4: I prayed that God would avenge the wrong that was

446
00:19:46,119 --> 00:19:48,399
Speaker 4: done to me because that's the only thing that stopped

447
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:52,240
Speaker 4: me from replaying or pondering on getting revenge and distracted

448
00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:54,679
Speaker 4: me from the wave of heartache and grief that overcame me.

449
00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:59,199
Speaker 4: Everything that I experienced didn't feel just or fair, and

450
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,639
Speaker 4: I grew tired of being the bigger person. It was

451
00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:03,840
Speaker 4: hard to let go, but I started to love and

452
00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:06,480
Speaker 4: live my life with a focus on being happy and

453
00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:10,199
Speaker 4: protecting it. He just won't leave me alone, though. For

454
00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:14,320
Speaker 4: a while now, he's been applying pressure by flirting, being spicy,

455
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:18,760
Speaker 4: asking to spend time, and sometimes he's pleasant. It's hard

456
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:22,560
Speaker 4: holding boundaries for someone you once loved, especially while co parenting.

457
00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:25,880
Speaker 4: It's hard being selfish when all I knew was being selfless.

458
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:28,000
Speaker 4: He has decided that I am the one that he

459
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,119
Speaker 4: will wait for me. He said he wanted to marry me,

460
00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:33,040
Speaker 4: and when I asked for the plan, he said he

461
00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:36,040
Speaker 4: was hoping. I had one loel It's like, I just

462
00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:39,920
Speaker 4: want to marry you, and she's like, okay, how I

463
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,439
Speaker 4: also just like that. He's like, I've decided I'm going to.

464
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:46,159
Speaker 5: Marry you, and she's like I know, and he's like,

465
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:47,119
Speaker 5: I've decided it.

466
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,639
Speaker 4: Actually, He's like, I actually don't even need you to

467
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:52,360
Speaker 4: say yes. I've already said yes.

468
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:54,359
Speaker 5: We're getting married. Just let me put the ring on.

469
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:56,360
Speaker 5: You don't need to say something with it. Hold out

470
00:20:56,359 --> 00:20:56,800
Speaker 5: your hand.

471
00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:58,640
Speaker 4: It's all going to work out. And she's like, are

472
00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:00,760
Speaker 4: you planning it? And he's like, no, oh, I thought

473
00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:03,719
Speaker 4: you would do that. Yeah. All the singing and dancing

474
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:07,520
Speaker 4: about him changing is fake. I am feeling so much

475
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:10,240
Speaker 4: pressure from him and others to make it work or

476
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:13,280
Speaker 4: help him out. But he's dangling a carotive, marriage and

477
00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:15,879
Speaker 4: a happy little family in front of my face. It

478
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:17,919
Speaker 4: just feels like I've been here before, and I know

479
00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:20,320
Speaker 4: the result will be the same. I tried to advise

480
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:22,320
Speaker 4: him on the mistakes he was making, but he called

481
00:21:22,359 --> 00:21:23,040
Speaker 4: me a hater.

482
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:23,560
Speaker 5: Oh.

483
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:25,439
Speaker 4: He's like, hey, like it was really bad when you

484
00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:28,720
Speaker 4: cheated on me, And he's like, just a hater. This

485
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:32,080
Speaker 4: is ridiculous much now he dug himself a hole. I

486
00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:34,840
Speaker 4: have refused to help him in any capacity. I have

487
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:37,000
Speaker 4: told him many times over that he should call the

488
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:39,600
Speaker 4: women he cheated with his friends. He always chose over

489
00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:41,800
Speaker 4: me and his family to help out. Do you have

490
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:42,679
Speaker 4: any final thoughts?

491
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:45,320
Speaker 5: I don't really have much extra. I mean like, she's

492
00:21:45,359 --> 00:21:49,200
Speaker 5: handling it. She's not fallen for his life.

493
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,800
Speaker 4: Yeah. Like, the only thing I would say is if

494
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:53,760
Speaker 4: he knew find out, if he knew what he knew

495
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:58,240
Speaker 4: to oh yeah, and get him arrested for that because

496
00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:01,320
Speaker 4: that's illegal. They are not helping him out. I feel

497
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,439
Speaker 4: like he only wants me because he's at his worst

498
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:05,879
Speaker 4: and no woman is willing to entertain him. It's a

499
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:08,560
Speaker 4: huge insult to me that he thinks there's still a chance.

500
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:10,800
Speaker 4: The conversation of moving in with me has come up

501
00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:14,040
Speaker 4: so many times and I have always shut it down.

502
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:17,200
Speaker 4: So I don't get it. Why won't he leave me alone?

503
00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:20,359
Speaker 4: He's blocked, he's not allowed into my home. These rules

504
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:22,840
Speaker 4: keep me safe and make me feel like I'm in control,

505
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:25,360
Speaker 4: but I just want to move on in peace. It's

506
00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:28,720
Speaker 4: tiring protecting yourself. Often I don't feel happy that he's

507
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:31,639
Speaker 4: in the situation he's in. Somehow I feel kind of bad,

508
00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:35,359
Speaker 4: and that's confusing me. Any words of wisdom would be

509
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:38,800
Speaker 4: greatly appreciated. And that is the end of that story.

510
00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:43,119
Speaker 5: My wife reconnected with her ex who she had an

511
00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:44,000
Speaker 5: affair with.

512
00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:46,240
Speaker 4: Don't do that, hello, everyone.

513
00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:49,119
Speaker 5: Let me first start by saying that my wife, forty

514
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:52,639
Speaker 5: one female, and I forty four male, are very open,

515
00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:57,639
Speaker 5: maybe way too open about our past and past partners.

516
00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:00,919
Speaker 5: She is my second wife. My first wife was big

517
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:05,040
Speaker 5: on fidelity and we broke up over her cheating. The

518
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:08,400
Speaker 5: X and I share a son. My wife also has

519
00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:11,280
Speaker 5: a daughter of her own from a previous marriage. We've

520
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:14,399
Speaker 5: been married for five years and our little blended family

521
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:19,040
Speaker 5: works well together. By the way, this comes from throwaway Crocker.

522
00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:22,639
Speaker 5: I'm not gonna try that one. And if you want

523
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:24,760
Speaker 5: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash

524
00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:26,119
Speaker 5: okay storytime subreddit.

525
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:28,680
Speaker 4: I'm Carly, I'm Sophia.

526
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:31,000
Speaker 5: And we're here to give good advice. Goofily, but we

527
00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:34,320
Speaker 5: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do,

528
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:36,800
Speaker 5: so let us know what you would do in the comments.

529
00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:40,760
Speaker 5: And Opie says, as I mentioned earlier, we are perhaps

530
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:45,480
Speaker 5: too open about our past relationships. Her first husband was

531
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:49,760
Speaker 5: a serial cheater. He was a musician and slept around

532
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:53,720
Speaker 5: with women from his gigs. She stumbled onto his emails,

533
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:57,359
Speaker 5: only to learn that he was involved with five other women,

534
00:23:58,080 --> 00:23:59,960
Speaker 5: one of which he'd gotten pregnant.

535
00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:02,680
Speaker 4: Wow. They were together.

536
00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:04,320
Speaker 2: Rough.

537
00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:07,040
Speaker 5: Not wanting their child to grow up in a broken home,

538
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:10,280
Speaker 5: she wanted to save the relationship and reached out to

539
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:13,600
Speaker 5: one of her old internet friends for advice. Will call

540
00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:16,960
Speaker 5: him Chris thirty six mail. The two had been friends

541
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:20,080
Speaker 5: for seven years up until that point, but had never met.

542
00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:24,520
Speaker 5: They were writing partners. In fact, before they lost contact,

543
00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:27,560
Speaker 5: they had been writing a novel together. She tells me

544
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:30,320
Speaker 5: that when she reached out for support, he was very

545
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:33,920
Speaker 5: kind and had actually been recommending a lot of ways

546
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:37,159
Speaker 5: to get past infidelity or what you should speak to

547
00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:40,240
Speaker 5: an attorney about in general. He was being a good

548
00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:43,680
Speaker 5: friend Somewhere In that they decided to revisit writing their

549
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:47,840
Speaker 5: book again. According to her, they would casually flirt, but

550
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:50,479
Speaker 5: as they lived on opposite sides of the country, they

551
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:53,320
Speaker 5: had no means to act. In all this, she decided

552
00:24:53,359 --> 00:24:56,200
Speaker 5: her marriage was over and stopped trying to fix things.

553
00:24:56,400 --> 00:25:00,080
Speaker 5: She and Chris expressed mutual attraction, and by the end

554
00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:02,879
Speaker 5: of the year he flew out to meet her. She

555
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:06,280
Speaker 5: filed for divorce right after the affair got physical, and

556
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:08,879
Speaker 5: Chris moved later that year to be with her. To

557
00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:11,800
Speaker 5: make a long story short, her daughter, who was only

558
00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:14,960
Speaker 5: five at the time, didn't really take to him. As

559
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:18,480
Speaker 5: she says, he didn't do anything wrong. She just wasn't

560
00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:22,640
Speaker 5: adjusting properly after the divorce and didn't like somebody replacing

561
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:23,200
Speaker 5: her father.

562
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:27,320
Speaker 4: I'm sorry he didn't do anything wrong. He literally like

563
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:30,919
Speaker 4: did replace her father, not in the sense of like

564
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:33,280
Speaker 4: you know, he's actually trying to be a dad or anything,

565
00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:35,000
Speaker 4: in the sense that he had an affair was a

566
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:37,280
Speaker 4: married woman knowingly. Yeah.

567
00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:40,480
Speaker 5: So to me, honestly, to me, that one falls way

568
00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:43,520
Speaker 5: more on mom. No, I agree, you had a five

569
00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:45,359
Speaker 5: year old to be clear, Like, I.

570
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:47,840
Speaker 4: Fully agree, and I know that is on her.

571
00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:51,480
Speaker 5: But if I wonder if he knew that they weren't

572
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:54,959
Speaker 5: divorced yet, because I mean, if she considered the marriage

573
00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:56,840
Speaker 5: to be overham or she was just telling him, Like.

574
00:25:57,040 --> 00:26:00,000
Speaker 4: I I definite, because he had to have known because

575
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:03,240
Speaker 4: he was helping her like move and stuff. Yeah, okay,

576
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:05,600
Speaker 4: But also it's just like that five year old probably

577
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:08,159
Speaker 4: gets like some sort of idea, like definitely knew what

578
00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:13,439
Speaker 4: was happening, Mommy, like this man, what where's daddy? Daddy

579
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:14,000
Speaker 4: was just there?

580
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:17,080
Speaker 5: Yeah, my wife told him they needed to take a

581
00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:19,439
Speaker 5: break due to this and due to the fact that

582
00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:23,320
Speaker 5: he's a bit crass sometimes. She had only intended for

583
00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:26,320
Speaker 5: it to be a short break, but he was apparently

584
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:30,119
Speaker 5: so hurt that he'd moved that far to be turned

585
00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:31,080
Speaker 5: away two months in.

586
00:26:31,359 --> 00:26:34,280
Speaker 4: Well, maybe don't he broke it off entirely. Okay, well,

587
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:35,560
Speaker 4: maybe don't get with a married woman.

588
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:38,959
Speaker 5: After months had gone by, they reconnected to try and

589
00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:42,919
Speaker 5: finish their book. They began sleeping together again during this time,

590
00:26:43,119 --> 00:26:45,720
Speaker 5: but it was just a physical thing. They came close

591
00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:49,479
Speaker 5: to finishing the book, but she started dating me, thus

592
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:53,480
Speaker 5: they stopped sleeping together. She felt weird about having an

593
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:56,920
Speaker 5: ex hanging around once she got in a committed relationship.

594
00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:02,000
Speaker 5: It's really ironic to say when you've had an already, yeah, and.

595
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:03,240
Speaker 4: This is your affair partner.

596
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:07,680
Speaker 5: And so, by her own admission, she stopped returning his emails,

597
00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:11,159
Speaker 5: which were all book related with the same frequency, and

598
00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:14,320
Speaker 5: stopped working on it on her end so much he

599
00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:17,280
Speaker 5: grew frustrated after a few months of this and blocked

600
00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:20,800
Speaker 5: her on everything, which finally brings us to a month ago.

601
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:24,520
Speaker 5: After four or five years of no contact, he messaged

602
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:27,040
Speaker 5: her out of the blue. My god, he contracted the

603
00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:32,119
Speaker 5: VID and nearly unlive whoa geez Chris contacted her because

604
00:27:32,119 --> 00:27:37,280
Speaker 5: apparently in that time he rewrote the book without her contributions.

605
00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:39,720
Speaker 4: Oh yikes, managed.

606
00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:44,439
Speaker 5: To get published what wrote and published a sequel and

607
00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:48,400
Speaker 5: realized his work came really close to not being finished.

608
00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:50,280
Speaker 5: If he passed away.

609
00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:52,359
Speaker 4: Wow, dang, that's pretty crazy.

610
00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:53,680
Speaker 5: It's crazy.

611
00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:57,240
Speaker 4: If he kept any of that stuff in there, she

612
00:27:57,280 --> 00:27:58,760
Speaker 4: could probably any of hers.

613
00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:01,400
Speaker 5: Sounds like he took it out, but yeah, I mean,

614
00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 5: go read those books. He wanted to make it, knowing

615
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:07,720
Speaker 5: that if something should happen to him, he wanted the

616
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:10,280
Speaker 5: rights of this thing turned over to her, as she

617
00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:13,320
Speaker 5: knows how it will end, and helped create the story.

618
00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:15,680
Speaker 4: Okay, Dan, what book is?

619
00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:18,600
Speaker 5: It's crazy though, Wait, yeah, what book is this?

620
00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:20,840
Speaker 4: So he's like book crack.

621
00:28:21,119 --> 00:28:24,480
Speaker 5: Fair enough, that actually sounds nice. But then they get

622
00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:29,600
Speaker 5: to talking. He's apparently writing a comic adaptation, and he

623
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:32,360
Speaker 5: invited her to come on board for it. He has

624
00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:35,480
Speaker 5: a lot of the art done, and she was very

625
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:38,400
Speaker 5: excited showing me and explaining to me who all the

626
00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:42,400
Speaker 5: characters were, their backstories, what she thinks he got wrong

627
00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:45,320
Speaker 5: in the design. She also read the first book and

628
00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:49,120
Speaker 5: is telling me which names he changed, what characters were

629
00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:52,920
Speaker 5: and weren't in their version, The plot differences, and she

630
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:54,800
Speaker 5: seems to be having a lot of fun with it.

631
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:57,880
Speaker 5: I knew they wrote together, She's mentioned it before, but

632
00:28:57,960 --> 00:29:01,320
Speaker 5: I had no idea they had this whole universe created.

633
00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:03,800
Speaker 5: I can tell it was something that was really important

634
00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:06,080
Speaker 5: to her. She seems like she might take him up

635
00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:09,240
Speaker 5: on the offer, and this worries me. Every time they've

636
00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:12,520
Speaker 5: worked on something in the past, it leads to spicy sleep,

637
00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:16,480
Speaker 5: and there is a bit of spicy content in their writing.

638
00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:19,400
Speaker 5: I'm not the jealous type, and I certainly don't want

639
00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:22,320
Speaker 5: to step on a dream she has buried, but I

640
00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:23,880
Speaker 5: don't want to repeat of history.

641
00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:24,600
Speaker 4: I'll admit.

642
00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:28,640
Speaker 5: I decided to snoop their conversation, and while he seems

643
00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:31,360
Speaker 5: like he's been on the level and is only really

644
00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:37,040
Speaker 5: discussing the project, she's pressing for information on his personal Lifeoo.

645
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:41,400
Speaker 5: I wouldn't say it a flirty way, but she asked

646
00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:44,360
Speaker 5: him if he's seeing anyone now. When he answered no,

647
00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:47,520
Speaker 5: he's too busy and that relationships just get in the way.

648
00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:49,680
Speaker 5: She told him he needs to get back out there.

649
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:52,400
Speaker 5: That's telibacy. Isn't a good look on him.

650
00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:57,000
Speaker 4: You don't say to your ex yeah, you need to

651
00:29:57,040 --> 00:30:02,120
Speaker 4: get back out there. That's insane, that's insane, that's crazy. Wow. Yeah,

652
00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:05,640
Speaker 4: don't ever say that to your exes. That'd be really weird.

653
00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:08,080
Speaker 5: She needs to be in like a like, because that's

654
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:10,200
Speaker 5: not in like a move on way. That's like y'all

655
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:13,920
Speaker 5: haven't talked in years. It's weird. We're pretty open about

656
00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:17,120
Speaker 5: our past, spicy life. So I know her ex husband

657
00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:20,640
Speaker 5: was terrible had it and once when drunk, she said,

658
00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:24,160
Speaker 5: of Chris, don't let a great f convince you it'll

659
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:27,320
Speaker 5: be a great relationship. How the heck do I proceed?

660
00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:31,040
Speaker 5: I know she was emotionally broken by her ex husband

661
00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:34,160
Speaker 5: and that's why she cheated. But she did cheat with

662
00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:37,280
Speaker 5: this man. I've met him. He seems like an on

663
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:40,280
Speaker 5: the level guy, but they have a history that tells

664
00:30:40,320 --> 00:30:43,640
Speaker 5: me something might happen. I want to approach my wife

665
00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:46,360
Speaker 5: with my concerns, but I don't want to seem like

666
00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:50,080
Speaker 5: an overbearing, controlling person. I want her to have her

667
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:53,920
Speaker 5: creative outlet, because she glows it away I've never seen

668
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:56,320
Speaker 5: before when she talks about this book. When she talks

669
00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:58,920
Speaker 5: about this book that I barely knew anything about, it

670
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:01,360
Speaker 5: feels like it's something that that was deeply important to

671
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:04,560
Speaker 5: her that she forced not to be important. I want

672
00:31:04,600 --> 00:31:06,960
Speaker 5: that for her, but I don't want their interactions to

673
00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:11,520
Speaker 5: escalate into something more like they have three times already

674
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:13,640
Speaker 5: any advice, and we do have an update.

675
00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:15,720
Speaker 4: But I think you tell her all of that. Yeah,

676
00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:17,760
Speaker 4: I think you say, Hey, I love you, I really

677
00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:19,320
Speaker 4: want you to be happy. I want you to do

678
00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:22,680
Speaker 4: this book that you are really excited about. However, this

679
00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:25,400
Speaker 4: is where I'm at. Yeah, you got this previous relationship.

680
00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:28,360
Speaker 4: You've already told me that you cheated on your past

681
00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:30,240
Speaker 4: partner with this guy, and I know that was a

682
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:32,440
Speaker 4: different type of relationship than the one we have. But

683
00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:34,680
Speaker 4: I think it's just saying like, I mean, I maybe

684
00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:36,880
Speaker 4: say this a bit better, but like something along the

685
00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:39,800
Speaker 4: lines of, like, if you cheat, you know, I'm gonna

686
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:42,160
Speaker 4: trust you to do what you think is right here,

687
00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:44,440
Speaker 4: I'm gonna tell you I'm uncomfortable, and if you cheat,

688
00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:45,479
Speaker 4: we're done. Yeah.

689
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:48,320
Speaker 5: I think it sounds like a lot of the stuff

690
00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:51,920
Speaker 5: around this whole situation hasn't been talked about, even between

691
00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:55,760
Speaker 5: wife and and this ex boyfriend. I guess, yeah, like

692
00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:57,680
Speaker 5: they've never like fully even kind of talked to the

693
00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:00,280
Speaker 5: ROO and it doesn't seem like so. Also, where is

694
00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:02,200
Speaker 5: the fact that he does still live in New York?

695
00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:05,320
Speaker 5: So is there even gonna be I mean, emotional cheating

696
00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:07,520
Speaker 5: is totally a thing, But is there even gonna be

697
00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:10,400
Speaker 5: the contact for a physical affair? Like will they be

698
00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:13,600
Speaker 5: on opposite coast? Like? I feel like it's totally not

699
00:32:13,680 --> 00:32:16,200
Speaker 5: wrong to ask, like what would the details of the

700
00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:18,720
Speaker 5: working situation be like? And then lay out like and

701
00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:21,480
Speaker 5: if something were to happen like I'm out.

702
00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:23,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think that's all fair, But you do have

703
00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:24,000
Speaker 4: to trust her.

704
00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:24,400
Speaker 2: Yeah.

705
00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:28,000
Speaker 5: Update, My wife's ex boyfriend re emerged in her life,

706
00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:30,760
Speaker 5: asking to work on a mutual writing project that she

707
00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:34,720
Speaker 5: abandoned years ago that he's achieving financial success with. Now

708
00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:37,400
Speaker 5: I don't know who this woman is. The level of

709
00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:41,480
Speaker 5: deception is so involved and deliberate, oh, that I'm hardly

710
00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:44,520
Speaker 5: capable of comprehending that I spent the last six years

711
00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:45,800
Speaker 5: of my life with this person.

712
00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:46,960
Speaker 2: Oh okay.

713
00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:49,520
Speaker 5: I decided to sit down with her and talk about

714
00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:52,400
Speaker 5: how I felt about the situation. That I was happy

715
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:55,360
Speaker 5: she rediscovered her old writing and expressed that it would

716
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:57,880
Speaker 5: be cool for her to explore that as a hobby

717
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:00,479
Speaker 5: or a profession, as she's quite good at it and

718
00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:04,160
Speaker 5: clearly enjoys it. At the time. She agreed and said

719
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:07,440
Speaker 5: that Chris, her ex, being around, wouldn't be a good thing.

720
00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:10,280
Speaker 5: Saying she was worried that he might be using this

721
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:12,720
Speaker 5: as a ploy to talk with her again. When she

722
00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:15,480
Speaker 5: said these things, I was like, Okay, cool, she has

723
00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:18,560
Speaker 5: the same misgivings I do, and she's not minimizing my

724
00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:21,720
Speaker 5: feelings or calling me controlling. In fact, we're on the

725
00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:27,200
Speaker 5: same page. Oh how wrong I was. That conversation should

726
00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:29,800
Speaker 5: have been the end of it. But for some reason

727
00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:33,640
Speaker 5: my brain started getting weird and I began thinking it

728
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:37,160
Speaker 5: was going too well. Yesterday morning, when she got in

729
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:40,040
Speaker 5: the shower, I took her phone and went into it.

730
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:45,880
Speaker 5: His number was there and their entire conversation had been deleted. Suspicious,

731
00:33:46,120 --> 00:33:50,240
Speaker 5: it hadn't been three days prior red flags. I checked

732
00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:54,320
Speaker 5: Facebook Messenger. She's talking about her upcoming trip for work,

733
00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:58,040
Speaker 5: which takes her to Vegas. Well, apparently this two day

734
00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:00,800
Speaker 5: long thing has been canceled do to the bid, but

735
00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:04,680
Speaker 5: she's been telling me she's going. They're discussing a hotel

736
00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:07,880
Speaker 5: a town over and staying there, as well as sending

737
00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:10,040
Speaker 5: each other other people's.

738
00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:13,480
Speaker 4: Vacation photos of Vegas, so she'll have stuff to show

739
00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:18,280
Speaker 4: If I ask, Yeah, wow, she cheated, or she's drin lanning, planning,

740
00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:19,479
Speaker 4: she's planning to cheat.

741
00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:23,359
Speaker 5: Yikes, she's talking about restaurants they can go to. How

742
00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:26,120
Speaker 5: there will be a full moon when he's here and

743
00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:29,200
Speaker 5: it would look great on the beach. Oh yeah, and

744
00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:32,279
Speaker 5: he's not on the East coast as he presented. He

745
00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:36,759
Speaker 5: moved back to town recently. Yikes, he moved back to the

746
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:40,920
Speaker 5: town recently since the a hole actually has enough money

747
00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:43,560
Speaker 5: to live here. He showed her on Google Maps where

748
00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:47,120
Speaker 5: he's living, and it's taking everything I have not to

749
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:50,479
Speaker 5: drive my truck straight into his living room. A month ago,

750
00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:52,600
Speaker 5: she claimed that she had to pick up her brother

751
00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:54,960
Speaker 5: from the airport. Nope, that was him.

752
00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:57,400
Speaker 4: Oh wow, this really sucks.

753
00:34:57,680 --> 00:35:00,200
Speaker 5: Yeah. The messages don't go back for the next uh,

754
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:02,920
Speaker 5: but they reference talking about stuff during the years they

755
00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:06,440
Speaker 5: supposedly haven't had contact. One line I read that he wrote,

756
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:09,480
Speaker 5: has my heart racing with such an effing madness is

757
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:13,279
Speaker 5: from him quote, Yeah, we're friends. I don't see you

758
00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:15,959
Speaker 5: in eight years, and I'm inside you twenty.

759
00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:18,280
Speaker 4: Minutes off the plane. Best friends.

760
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:22,160
Speaker 5: Maybe so she's not just planning to f him, she's

761
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:23,400
Speaker 5: been doing it for months.

762
00:35:24,280 --> 00:35:26,120
Speaker 4: Wow, she sucks.

763
00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:29,359
Speaker 5: That trip to her mother's a few weeks back, where

764
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:32,480
Speaker 5: she stayed the night. Yeah, I haven't confronted her yet,

765
00:35:32,520 --> 00:35:35,919
Speaker 5: but her smile fills me with so much hate. Now,

766
00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:38,400
Speaker 5: I'm going to try my best and hold back on

767
00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:42,200
Speaker 5: saying anything until after Christmas. The kids don't need the

768
00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:46,439
Speaker 5: holiday being a constant reminder of this. But honestly, I'm

769
00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:49,520
Speaker 5: probably gonna snap and confront her today or tomorrow because

770
00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:52,480
Speaker 5: my ability to swallow this bs with a smile is

771
00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:58,040
Speaker 5: almost impossible. I don't think that waiting till after Christmas

772
00:35:58,120 --> 00:36:01,080
Speaker 5: will change much because it'll be right after Christmas, and

773
00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:03,719
Speaker 5: then there's still going to relate the end of Christmas

774
00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:04,000
Speaker 5: to this.

775
00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:05,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, I go show I.

776
00:36:05,560 --> 00:36:06,480
Speaker 5: Knew what month we were in.

777
00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:06,920
Speaker 2: I don't know.

778
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:08,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know. They're talking about the kids.

779
00:36:08,719 --> 00:36:10,760
Speaker 5: Right, He's like, I don't want to do it before

780
00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:13,439
Speaker 5: Christmas because then the kids will have Christmas ruin for them,

781
00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:16,000
Speaker 5: so I would do it right after Christmas. And I'm like, no,

782
00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:16,799
Speaker 5: it's still kind of.

783
00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:21,160
Speaker 4: Room, Chris, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas is ruined. Christmas is ruined.

784
00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:23,480
Speaker 5: I don't think necessarily though, I feel like there is

785
00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:25,600
Speaker 5: a way that, like you guys can work this out

786
00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:28,680
Speaker 5: and hopefully maybe like the kids are going to know something.

787
00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:31,839
Speaker 5: But if there's anyway, Yeah, on a presentable front for that.

788
00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:34,320
Speaker 4: I think you take the kids to grandma's house.

789
00:36:34,239 --> 00:36:36,000
Speaker 5: Or whatever, playdate somewhere.

790
00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:38,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, you bring your wife home. You say, I know

791
00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:41,040
Speaker 4: about your affair. I know you've been cheating for this long.

792
00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:43,560
Speaker 4: I have proof, I have screenshots, YadA, YadA, YadA. I

793
00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:45,880
Speaker 4: want a divorce. I would prefer if the kids do

794
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:49,480
Speaker 4: not find out for at least until after Christmas, Right,

795
00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:52,719
Speaker 4: let's get through the holidays. Yeah, but after that, I

796
00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:55,359
Speaker 4: want you, you know, to out of the house and

797
00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:57,600
Speaker 4: we're gonna figure this out. But uh yeah, I think

798
00:36:57,600 --> 00:36:59,800
Speaker 4: that's what you do. Don't, cause it's just gonna.

799
00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:04,440
Speaker 5: Be You can't control how she reacts to that, unfortunate course, notppefully.

800
00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:06,719
Speaker 5: She's also civil about it, but.

801
00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:10,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, you never know. But after that, I want you,

802
00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:12,880
Speaker 4: you know, to out of the house and we're gonna

803
00:37:12,880 --> 00:37:14,960
Speaker 4: figure this out. But uh yeah, I think that's what

804
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:18,160
Speaker 4: you do. Don't cause it's just gonna be us. You.

805
00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:21,480
Speaker 5: You can't control how she reacts to that unfortunate course, notppefully,

806
00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:25,440
Speaker 5: she's also civil about it, but yeah, you never know.

807
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:28,160
Speaker 5: I'm losing my mind right now.

808
00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:29,080
Speaker 4: Edit one.

809
00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:33,440
Speaker 5: I'm gathering info pics and screenshots of her location and

810
00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:36,799
Speaker 5: speaking with a lawyer tomorrow. Edit too, I've met with

811
00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:40,399
Speaker 5: my brother's divorce attorney and we're making plans. I am

812
00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:45,160
Speaker 5: documenting everything, all text her location, where she's claiming to go.

813
00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:48,440
Speaker 5: I'm confronting her on the second next month after she

814
00:37:48,560 --> 00:37:51,120
Speaker 5: goes to the hotel with him. I'm making sure I

815
00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:53,360
Speaker 5: have my ducks in a row, and I'm trying not

816
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:57,400
Speaker 5: to ruin Christmas forever for the kids. Update two, you

817
00:37:57,400 --> 00:37:58,400
Speaker 5: got anything.

818
00:37:58,280 --> 00:38:00,719
Speaker 4: Nothing more to say? Good luck.

819
00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:03,279
Speaker 5: I've been talking with my brother for support and have

820
00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:07,960
Speaker 5: continued to monitor their communications. She noticed me acting different

821
00:38:08,239 --> 00:38:10,440
Speaker 5: and I told her it was just me having the

822
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:14,239
Speaker 5: blues over the anniversary of my aunt's passing, which was

823
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:16,320
Speaker 5: enough so she didn't start realizing.

824
00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:17,440
Speaker 4: I know all I know.

825
00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:21,080
Speaker 5: I spent three hours today in my car outside of

826
00:38:21,080 --> 00:38:25,000
Speaker 5: a McDonald's using their WiFi to access her emails, and

827
00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:28,640
Speaker 5: they're using Yahoo Messenger to communicate. She's on this with

828
00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:31,200
Speaker 5: her chest out in a ton of picks, all of

829
00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:32,160
Speaker 5: which I'm saving.

830
00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:33,240
Speaker 4: Real cute.

831
00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:36,640
Speaker 5: There's one with her posed with flowers I got her

832
00:38:36,840 --> 00:38:37,759
Speaker 5: for her birthday.

833
00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:39,359
Speaker 4: Ah.

834
00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:45,880
Speaker 5: They've been spicy texting since like March. Some select quotes

835
00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:48,040
Speaker 5: from her. I can't just start talking about the book

836
00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:50,360
Speaker 5: all the time. I talked about you twice when he

837
00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:52,920
Speaker 5: and I got together. If I started talking about you

838
00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:56,040
Speaker 5: and the book a lot, now he's gonna think something's up.

839
00:38:56,160 --> 00:38:59,640
Speaker 5: Another quote, You need to shave because that stubble is

840
00:38:59,880 --> 00:39:03,120
Speaker 5: like knives. Almost had to put chapstick on my chin

841
00:39:03,239 --> 00:39:09,280
Speaker 5: and under my nose. Update three, which will be the confrontation.

842
00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:16,600
Speaker 4: But uhay, morey, she just sucks so much. Yeah, let's

843
00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:18,239
Speaker 4: just get in. Update three.

844
00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:22,520
Speaker 5: Confronted her today. I've never seen someone implode like this.

845
00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:25,360
Speaker 5: I never want to go through anything like this again.

846
00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:28,439
Speaker 5: This was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do.

847
00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:31,520
Speaker 5: She left for either work or chris Is today. I

848
00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:34,719
Speaker 5: wasn't sure where. I tried checking her location, but it

849
00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:37,719
Speaker 5: was either turned off or my phone wasn't working. I

850
00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:40,239
Speaker 5: didn't have the means to serve her yet, but I

851
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:43,160
Speaker 5: had to confront her before she realized what I was doing.

852
00:39:43,400 --> 00:39:45,759
Speaker 5: I heard the garage door opening and I turned the

853
00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:49,520
Speaker 5: camera on. She came in completely oblivious. I told her

854
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:52,120
Speaker 5: to sit down because we needed to talk. She got

855
00:39:52,120 --> 00:39:54,880
Speaker 5: that deer in the headlights look, but sat down and

856
00:39:54,920 --> 00:39:57,480
Speaker 5: asked what was wrong. I asked her to tell me.

857
00:39:57,840 --> 00:40:00,359
Speaker 5: She played dumb, but I could see she knew she'd

858
00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:03,640
Speaker 5: been found out. I decided not to confront her directly

859
00:40:03,760 --> 00:40:06,920
Speaker 5: and told her I was uncomfortable with her working with Chris.

860
00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:10,960
Speaker 5: She instantly agreed and nervously asked why I changed my

861
00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:14,640
Speaker 5: mind so quickly. I said I wanted to be understanding,

862
00:40:14,800 --> 00:40:17,560
Speaker 5: but I got weird vibes from him. She insisted he

863
00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:20,360
Speaker 5: didn't mean anything to her anymore. I told her he

864
00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:23,680
Speaker 5: basically stole from her and she was being too understanding

865
00:40:23,719 --> 00:40:26,719
Speaker 5: about it. By now, she probably thought she'd gotten out

866
00:40:26,719 --> 00:40:29,399
Speaker 5: of this and would break it off with Chris. Then

867
00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:31,880
Speaker 5: I told her the whole thing stressed me out, and

868
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:35,120
Speaker 5: I was taking next week off work. I said, I

869
00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:37,719
Speaker 5: talked with my ex and she agreed to keep my

870
00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:41,480
Speaker 5: son that weekend so we could go to Vegas.

871
00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:42,360
Speaker 4: Nice.

872
00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:45,120
Speaker 5: I was kind of hoping you'd do that, but yes,

873
00:40:45,760 --> 00:40:48,560
Speaker 5: she got a dead pan stare. I started talking about

874
00:40:48,560 --> 00:40:51,160
Speaker 5: how the VID shut down a lot of stuff in Vegas.

875
00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:54,480
Speaker 5: She cut me off and said it was actually canceled today.

876
00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:56,440
Speaker 4: Oh what a coincidence?

877
00:40:56,760 --> 00:41:00,800
Speaker 5: Was perfect timing? I told her it got canceled last month.

878
00:41:01,040 --> 00:41:03,440
Speaker 5: She said, no, that he told them today because he

879
00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:06,480
Speaker 5: wasn't sure until today. I repeated that I knew it

880
00:41:06,520 --> 00:41:09,720
Speaker 5: got canceled last month. She asked what I was doing.

881
00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:12,200
Speaker 5: Why I was telling her I wanted to go and

882
00:41:12,239 --> 00:41:14,960
Speaker 5: then saying it was canceled. I asked what she was

883
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:17,400
Speaker 5: going to do in the town where her hotel was.

884
00:41:17,760 --> 00:41:20,280
Speaker 5: She asked what I was accusing her of. I asked

885
00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:23,440
Speaker 5: how long she and Chris had been back together. She

886
00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:26,600
Speaker 5: said they hadn't done anything and asked if he told.

887
00:41:26,320 --> 00:41:28,600
Speaker 4: Me they were Come on, girl, come on.

888
00:41:29,719 --> 00:41:31,880
Speaker 5: I told her not to lie to me, that I

889
00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:34,799
Speaker 5: didn't want to read off everything he texted because it

890
00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:37,880
Speaker 5: almost made me throw up the first time. She started

891
00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:40,920
Speaker 5: with the typical cheater script about him texting her a

892
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:43,400
Speaker 5: lot and saying messed up stuff and that she was

893
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:45,759
Speaker 5: afraid to tell me. I told her she didn't see

894
00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:48,879
Speaker 5: him for eight years, and twenty minutes after he got

895
00:41:48,880 --> 00:41:52,560
Speaker 5: off the plane, she had spicy sleep with him. Yep

896
00:41:52,840 --> 00:41:56,880
Speaker 5: and call her out you literally direct quote from you quote.

897
00:41:57,080 --> 00:41:59,880
Speaker 5: She kept denying and lying, saying he lived on the

898
00:41:59,880 --> 00:42:03,400
Speaker 5: East Coast when I knew he lived on a specific street.

899
00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:06,200
Speaker 5: I said, I read her messages in her email and

900
00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:09,280
Speaker 5: texts that she was cheating on me and I wanted

901
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:12,600
Speaker 5: her out of the house today. She kept denying until

902
00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:15,959
Speaker 5: I broke out copies of their texts and handed them

903
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:18,959
Speaker 5: to her. She looked for two seconds and broke down,

904
00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:24,040
Speaker 5: crying harder than I'd ever seen. She said, boohoo, come on, dude.

905
00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:26,560
Speaker 5: She said sorry that it got out of hand and

906
00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:28,719
Speaker 5: she wanted to put the brakes on it, but he

907
00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:32,120
Speaker 5: had gotten possessive and was threatening to expose her.

908
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:32,920
Speaker 4: If she ended it.

909
00:42:33,120 --> 00:42:35,080
Speaker 5: Expose what just like, yeah, fair that.

910
00:42:35,080 --> 00:42:38,360
Speaker 4: They're having there? Oh that sucks. I don't believe you.

911
00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:41,800
Speaker 5: Yeah. I told her none of that was in their texts,

912
00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:44,359
Speaker 5: and she was still lying. She said it was done

913
00:42:44,400 --> 00:42:47,440
Speaker 5: between them, that she'd make him go away. I told

914
00:42:47,480 --> 00:42:49,799
Speaker 5: her I didn't care what she did, but I'd been

915
00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:52,360
Speaker 5: talking to a lawyer and the divorce papers would be

916
00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:53,080
Speaker 5: ready soon.

917
00:42:53,600 --> 00:42:54,279
Speaker 4: Good.

918
00:42:54,400 --> 00:42:58,640
Speaker 5: She exploded and repeated about me talking to a lawyer

919
00:42:58,719 --> 00:43:01,279
Speaker 5: four or five times. I was ready to call the

920
00:43:01,320 --> 00:43:04,720
Speaker 5: cops because she was closing in on me and screaming.

921
00:43:05,080 --> 00:43:07,680
Speaker 5: I told her to calm down, that I had a

922
00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:11,920
Speaker 5: camera going smart. She continued breaking down and said, I

923
00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:14,520
Speaker 5: had planned this all out, smiling to her face while

924
00:43:14,520 --> 00:43:15,000
Speaker 5: planning it.

925
00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:17,399
Speaker 4: That's ironic, exactly what you did.

926
00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:20,080
Speaker 5: Every time she said that, I responded that she should

927
00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:22,320
Speaker 5: look at what she'd been planning and smiling to my

928
00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:23,880
Speaker 5: face while doing those things.

929
00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:25,839
Speaker 4: Literally, that's so hypocritical.

930
00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:28,920
Speaker 5: When I asked why she'd do this to us, she

931
00:43:28,960 --> 00:43:33,000
Speaker 5: eventually called Chris her soul may h and I nearly

932
00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:34,280
Speaker 5: started breaking stuff.

933
00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:38,240
Speaker 4: Then go be with him and stop dragging other people,

934
00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:39,640
Speaker 4: Hey into your affairs.

935
00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:42,440
Speaker 5: I asked why she didn't just ditch me for him

936
00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:45,240
Speaker 5: in the beginning. She said she needed to get away

937
00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:47,799
Speaker 5: from him because she knew how bad she'd look to

938
00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:50,600
Speaker 5: her family if she brought him back around. She also

939
00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:53,239
Speaker 5: said she could never actually be with him because her

940
00:43:53,280 --> 00:43:55,959
Speaker 5: ex and daughter would fight her on it. Going back

941
00:43:56,000 --> 00:44:01,000
Speaker 5: to him legitimately was never an option. She begged for forgiveness,

942
00:44:01,360 --> 00:44:03,959
Speaker 5: said she'd change and do whatever I wanted to fix

943
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:07,000
Speaker 5: the situation. I told her no. She said we weren't

944
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:10,440
Speaker 5: getting divorced because she could make amends. I told her

945
00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:13,400
Speaker 5: there was nothing she could do to earn my forgiveness,

946
00:44:13,600 --> 00:44:16,600
Speaker 5: that I would not forgive this. Ever, she had the

947
00:44:16,719 --> 00:44:19,319
Speaker 5: gall to be shocked by this, I told her I

948
00:44:19,360 --> 00:44:22,200
Speaker 5: opened an account at another bank and moved half from

949
00:44:22,239 --> 00:44:25,560
Speaker 5: our joint account. That morning, the rest was hers. She

950
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:29,400
Speaker 5: went and packed her clothes, peacefully, crying and oddly making

951
00:44:29,480 --> 00:44:31,800
Speaker 5: threats that she'd better not have anything missing.

952
00:44:32,360 --> 00:44:33,799
Speaker 4: I oh got up.

953
00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:36,200
Speaker 5: I told her to take pictures of how she left things,

954
00:44:36,320 --> 00:44:38,960
Speaker 5: so when she came back she'd see I didn't touch anything.

955
00:44:39,080 --> 00:44:42,520
Speaker 5: Her parents were contacted and they were in disbelief. They

956
00:44:42,520 --> 00:44:45,719
Speaker 5: apologized to me, and soon after she was out of

957
00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:46,320
Speaker 5: my house.

958
00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:48,760
Speaker 4: Good get her out. I mean, I just can't believe

959
00:44:48,760 --> 00:44:51,359
Speaker 4: after all that, Like OPI goes, when how long I've

960
00:44:51,360 --> 00:44:53,799
Speaker 4: been cheating? I didn't choot anything, didn't She then? And

961
00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:56,840
Speaker 4: then oh here's the proof. Well he was attaining to me.

962
00:44:57,200 --> 00:45:00,080
Speaker 4: It's like no, I read all the texts. Oh well

963
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:00,760
Speaker 4: it's your fault.

964
00:45:00,920 --> 00:45:02,839
Speaker 5: He's my soulmate. Yeah, my son ate the whole time.

965
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:06,799
Speaker 4: It's like, what is your problem? I hope that your

966
00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:09,839
Speaker 4: family judges you incredibly harshly, because that's what she said.

967
00:45:09,840 --> 00:45:12,160
Speaker 4: She was worried about why she didn't break it off

968
00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:20,480
Speaker 4: with Ope. Yeah, divorce, get your kids, she sucks. Yikes, Yeah,

969
00:45:20,640 --> 00:45:23,800
Speaker 4: that's all I have. Else this is terrible.

970
00:45:24,040 --> 00:45:26,480
Speaker 5: The next day, she hit my phone with so many

971
00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:30,440
Speaker 5: I love you, I'm sorry, fix this text that I

972
00:45:30,560 --> 00:45:34,960
Speaker 5: contemplated flushing my phone fair. I started responding by sending

973
00:45:35,040 --> 00:45:39,200
Speaker 5: screenshots of the worst parts of their conversation and saying

974
00:45:39,239 --> 00:45:40,080
Speaker 5: nothing of my own.

975
00:45:40,600 --> 00:45:43,040
Speaker 4: That's so good, that's a really good, good response.

976
00:45:44,080 --> 00:45:46,759
Speaker 5: My ex returned with my son and brought dinner from

977
00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:50,080
Speaker 5: my favorite Chinese place. My son asked flat out whether

978
00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:52,640
Speaker 5: she cheated because it was so sudden, and I told

979
00:45:52,719 --> 00:45:53,279
Speaker 5: him he was.

980
00:45:53,360 --> 00:45:56,760
Speaker 4: Right without I think that's fair. I think it's.

981
00:45:56,640 --> 00:46:00,000
Speaker 5: Totally fair to be like, yes, she did cheap like you.

982
00:46:00,280 --> 00:46:02,759
Speaker 5: I think if any details of it, yes, we're not

983
00:46:02,800 --> 00:46:05,680
Speaker 5: gonna get into Like he said, she said like she's

984
00:46:05,719 --> 00:46:06,759
Speaker 5: the worst territory.

985
00:46:07,120 --> 00:46:08,840
Speaker 4: I think because usually i'd be like, yeah, you know,

986
00:46:08,920 --> 00:46:11,040
Speaker 4: you don't have to tell wait until both parents were there,

987
00:46:11,280 --> 00:46:13,680
Speaker 4: see what you guys both agree on. But I think

988
00:46:13,719 --> 00:46:18,640
Speaker 4: because he directly asked, I think he's clearly old enough to.

989
00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:20,320
Speaker 5: Totally fair to tell him, yes, that did happen. I

990
00:46:20,360 --> 00:46:23,080
Speaker 5: don't think any as terrible as she was, you don't

991
00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:24,200
Speaker 5: need to bash her right now.

992
00:46:24,400 --> 00:46:26,080
Speaker 4: Agreed to your kids.

993
00:46:26,239 --> 00:46:27,160
Speaker 5: You can do it to your friend.

994
00:46:27,400 --> 00:46:30,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, I guess what the girls fuck's old.

995
00:46:30,800 --> 00:46:33,040
Speaker 5: It's been a few days since I began writing this,

996
00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:35,400
Speaker 5: and I'm off to the gym and then my lawyers.

997
00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:38,080
Speaker 5: Her ex husband is going to come by and collect

998
00:46:38,080 --> 00:46:40,279
Speaker 5: his daughter's things, and I'll explain to her the best

999
00:46:40,280 --> 00:46:42,600
Speaker 5: I can that if she ever needs me, I'm just

1000
00:46:42,640 --> 00:46:46,040
Speaker 5: a phone call away. The first fight has been fought,

1001
00:46:46,120 --> 00:46:48,160
Speaker 5: and it looks like I'm winning as much as one

1002
00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:52,000
Speaker 5: can win given the circumstances. That's the end of that story.

1003
00:46:52,800 --> 00:46:54,680
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam, your og host here. We're gonna get

1004
00:46:54,680 --> 00:46:56,399
Speaker 1: back to the stories. But here's three minutes of ads

1005
00:46:56,400 --> 00:46:57,319
Speaker 1: from our sponsors.

1006
00:46:57,719 --> 00:47:00,120
Speaker 4: I stood up for my friend and I end ended

1007
00:47:00,200 --> 00:47:02,279
Speaker 4: up being ostracized by everyone.

1008
00:47:02,480 --> 00:47:03,520
Speaker 5: That makes no sense.

1009
00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:06,279
Speaker 4: Last year I had an amazing group of friends, but

1010
00:47:06,360 --> 00:47:09,000
Speaker 4: the most personal friends I had were Jeff and Denna.

1011
00:47:09,239 --> 00:47:12,200
Speaker 4: Both are related as cousins, but I'm not related to them.

1012
00:47:12,280 --> 00:47:15,520
Speaker 4: I'm two and three years older than them, respectively, and

1013
00:47:15,640 --> 00:47:18,560
Speaker 4: knew them forever and we go to the same college.

1014
00:47:18,680 --> 00:47:21,840
Speaker 4: We had a lot of friends meetups and parties together,

1015
00:47:21,960 --> 00:47:25,200
Speaker 4: not even real parties, mostly moments at our homes, drawing, eating,

1016
00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:28,600
Speaker 4: playing wee sports or guitar hero things. Were going smoothly,

1017
00:47:28,760 --> 00:47:31,360
Speaker 4: and even on Valentine's Day, we made an oath to

1018
00:47:31,560 --> 00:47:35,080
Speaker 4: never stop being friends. By the way, this comes from

1019
00:47:35,239 --> 00:47:37,560
Speaker 4: natural Pattern twenty five oh seven. And if you would

1020
00:47:37,560 --> 00:47:39,160
Speaker 4: have spit your own stories, go to the r slash

1021
00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:42,560
Speaker 4: Okay storytime separate it. I'm Sophia, I'm Carly, and we're

1022
00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:44,440
Speaker 4: here to give good advice. Goofley, but we don't have

1023
00:47:44,480 --> 00:47:46,759
Speaker 4: all the answers. We only know what we'd do, so

1024
00:47:46,800 --> 00:47:48,359
Speaker 4: let us know what you do in the comments and

1025
00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:51,680
Speaker 4: OP says. At the same time, my BFF, who I

1026
00:47:51,719 --> 00:47:54,400
Speaker 4: will call Dem, was part of the friend group and

1027
00:47:54,640 --> 00:47:57,680
Speaker 4: very very close to Jeff, who claimed to be by.

1028
00:47:57,960 --> 00:48:00,920
Speaker 4: Both Dem and Jeff seemed to have a romantic on

1029
00:48:01,080 --> 00:48:04,640
Speaker 4: and off relationship, nothing they ever admitted to, but I

1030
00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:08,040
Speaker 4: got some messages from Jeff confessing his love for Den

1031
00:48:08,200 --> 00:48:12,320
Speaker 4: and long audio messages from Dem telling me how handsome

1032
00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:16,040
Speaker 4: Jeff was now he was his dream guy. Feelings seemed

1033
00:48:16,040 --> 00:48:18,239
Speaker 4: to dissolve a year ago, and we as a group

1034
00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:20,640
Speaker 4: didn't even pay attention to it since it was something

1035
00:48:20,680 --> 00:48:21,560
Speaker 4: no one talked about.

1036
00:48:21,640 --> 00:48:23,120
Speaker 5: Those were not the cousins.

1037
00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:27,480
Speaker 4: Right, No, it was like Denna and Jeff are the cousins,

1038
00:48:28,080 --> 00:48:32,080
Speaker 4: and then Den and Jeff were into each other and

1039
00:48:32,160 --> 00:48:34,920
Speaker 4: you know what you do? You those are so close

1040
00:48:34,960 --> 00:48:39,000
Speaker 4: to yees. Yeah, we could have kind of differentiated names

1041
00:48:39,040 --> 00:48:40,759
Speaker 4: a bit more here, but I'm up to speed now,

1042
00:48:40,880 --> 00:48:44,160
Speaker 4: jumping to the real messed up stuff. Some months ago,

1043
00:48:44,360 --> 00:48:47,640
Speaker 4: Jeff made a friend at a concert, Batty. Batty is

1044
00:48:47,680 --> 00:48:50,080
Speaker 4: younger than Jeff by like three years, so I didn't

1045
00:48:50,080 --> 00:48:53,320
Speaker 4: have a relationship with them, though something felt extremely off

1046
00:48:53,480 --> 00:48:57,239
Speaker 4: about Batty. It made me very uncomfortable even bringing them

1047
00:48:57,280 --> 00:49:00,400
Speaker 4: up in conversation, and I felt very guilty since the

1048
00:49:00,440 --> 00:49:03,160
Speaker 4: whole friend group loved them, and I knew I would

1049
00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:05,719
Speaker 4: sound crazy if I told anyone, so I kept my

1050
00:49:05,800 --> 00:49:10,120
Speaker 4: mouth shut and continued having the friend's gatherings, acting as

1051
00:49:10,239 --> 00:49:14,760
Speaker 4: usual until Batty started being very close to Dem, even

1052
00:49:14,920 --> 00:49:19,680
Speaker 4: calling him his boyfriend, jokingly, being very touchy and close,

1053
00:49:19,800 --> 00:49:24,400
Speaker 4: making inappropriate comments about his biological body, making very explicit

1054
00:49:24,520 --> 00:49:29,040
Speaker 4: drawings of them together, sometimes including Jeff as well. Okay,

1055
00:49:29,400 --> 00:49:33,240
Speaker 4: the group was being kind of separated into two sections, Jeff,

1056
00:49:33,400 --> 00:49:37,120
Speaker 4: Dem and Baddie and Denna and Me, having only a

1057
00:49:37,120 --> 00:49:40,440
Speaker 4: few gatherings but talking almost every day and text messages.

1058
00:49:40,520 --> 00:49:44,080
Speaker 4: To my misfortune, Denna also liked Baddie a lot and

1059
00:49:44,200 --> 00:49:46,920
Speaker 4: wouldn't stop talking about how nice and kind they were

1060
00:49:46,960 --> 00:49:50,320
Speaker 4: and how talented too. For some short context, we all

1061
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:54,080
Speaker 4: love everything regarding fashion and clothing creation, and Battie was

1062
00:49:54,120 --> 00:49:56,920
Speaker 4: no exception and made some very cool stuff. Back to

1063
00:49:56,960 --> 00:50:00,760
Speaker 4: the story, one day some months ago, Batti and Jeff

1064
00:50:00,760 --> 00:50:04,800
Speaker 4: started a polyamorous relationship, which didn't seem shocking or taboo

1065
00:50:04,840 --> 00:50:07,360
Speaker 4: to me since I'm in one too with my boyfriends

1066
00:50:07,400 --> 00:50:10,319
Speaker 4: read Bill and Aiden. We are not in an open relationship.

1067
00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:14,440
Speaker 4: We strictly date each other as a single closed relationship

1068
00:50:14,520 --> 00:50:16,400
Speaker 4: regarding the four of us. So I gave them some

1069
00:50:16,520 --> 00:50:19,560
Speaker 4: relationship advice and tried getting along with Batty since Dem

1070
00:50:19,640 --> 00:50:22,600
Speaker 4: was very, very happy. Only two months from the start

1071
00:50:22,680 --> 00:50:26,360
Speaker 4: of the relationship passed before I began to realize some things.

1072
00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:30,960
Speaker 4: Jeff and Battie had the relationship public everywhere with photos,

1073
00:50:31,040 --> 00:50:35,280
Speaker 4: anniversary months, and tags, but Dem was treated like a secret.

1074
00:50:35,680 --> 00:50:37,800
Speaker 4: I told him that was wrong and that he shouldn't

1075
00:50:37,840 --> 00:50:40,600
Speaker 4: be hiding himself from a relationship he was supposed to

1076
00:50:40,600 --> 00:50:42,000
Speaker 4: be part of. Good point.

1077
00:50:42,200 --> 00:50:45,640
Speaker 5: That is a good point. However, I think that if

1078
00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:48,359
Speaker 5: it's such a unique way of doing a relationship and

1079
00:50:48,400 --> 00:50:52,480
Speaker 5: it wasn't previously bothering Dem. Yeah, there's no reason to

1080
00:50:52,520 --> 00:50:55,319
Speaker 5: have brought that up and have like put your standards

1081
00:50:55,320 --> 00:50:56,520
Speaker 5: onto their relationship.

1082
00:50:56,600 --> 00:50:58,440
Speaker 4: That is a great point. I think I may have,

1083
00:50:59,040 --> 00:51:01,400
Speaker 4: you know, talked to Dem and not not kind of

1084
00:51:01,400 --> 00:51:03,600
Speaker 4: put it in his mind, but just said like, hey,

1085
00:51:03,640 --> 00:51:05,959
Speaker 4: are you feeling like do you have any questions that I.

1086
00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:06,840
Speaker 5: Can check in?

1087
00:51:07,160 --> 00:51:07,399
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1088
00:51:07,880 --> 00:51:10,560
Speaker 4: Yeah. When confronted, Jeff said it was just until they

1089
00:51:10,600 --> 00:51:13,120
Speaker 4: were ready to come out of the closet as polyamorous.

1090
00:51:13,560 --> 00:51:16,560
Speaker 4: And while I understood that, it still felt very fishy

1091
00:51:16,600 --> 00:51:19,960
Speaker 4: and strange because they both talked a lot about being

1092
00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:23,240
Speaker 4: open and ignoring other people's thoughts on them. But again

1093
00:51:23,400 --> 00:51:26,919
Speaker 4: I didn't say anything. Noticing a pattern. Now, About three

1094
00:51:26,920 --> 00:51:29,560
Speaker 4: months ago, I was at a fashion show when Dem called,

1095
00:51:29,840 --> 00:51:33,719
Speaker 4: crying like crazy. He said Baddie had broken up with him,

1096
00:51:33,880 --> 00:51:37,400
Speaker 4: saying they didn't like men wanna bees oo and that

1097
00:51:37,480 --> 00:51:39,919
Speaker 4: they were tired of acting like he was a real man.

1098
00:51:40,280 --> 00:51:45,759
Speaker 4: Dem Is I was beyond infuriated and called Jeff. He

1099
00:51:45,800 --> 00:51:48,040
Speaker 4: said he didn't know anything, and after some days of

1100
00:51:48,120 --> 00:51:51,759
Speaker 4: tense atmosphere, they decided to have an open relationship where

1101
00:51:51,800 --> 00:51:54,800
Speaker 4: Baddie was dating Jeff and some other girl named Mirah,

1102
00:51:55,239 --> 00:51:58,880
Speaker 4: and Jeff was dating Dem apart from his relationship with Battie.

1103
00:51:59,320 --> 00:52:02,880
Speaker 4: That is actually insane of all of them. If I

1104
00:52:02,960 --> 00:52:06,160
Speaker 4: were Opee, I would completely stop talking to Batty if

1105
00:52:06,200 --> 00:52:08,319
Speaker 4: I ever had he found out that he has.

1106
00:52:08,480 --> 00:52:09,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, if I.

1107
00:52:09,120 --> 00:52:11,280
Speaker 4: Ever had a friend who told me that, like someone

1108
00:52:11,520 --> 00:52:14,719
Speaker 4: well said that to them, I'd be like, we're done.

1109
00:52:14,960 --> 00:52:16,640
Speaker 5: I'm never speaking to you again ever.

1110
00:52:16,880 --> 00:52:19,880
Speaker 4: And then on top of that, if I were Jeff

1111
00:52:20,160 --> 00:52:22,600
Speaker 4: and Dem, I would not I mean, if I were Dem,

1112
00:52:22,640 --> 00:52:26,520
Speaker 4: I wouldn't be dating Jeff. Jeff certainly would be dating Batty. Yeah.

1113
00:52:26,560 --> 00:52:29,319
Speaker 5: I'm not sure how you can be dating someone who

1114
00:52:29,400 --> 00:52:32,160
Speaker 5: doesn't you claim to probably love at this point and

1115
00:52:32,200 --> 00:52:35,400
Speaker 5: then also be dating their like biggest hater.

1116
00:52:35,320 --> 00:52:38,239
Speaker 4: Or now yeah, yeah, so you're dating this person and

1117
00:52:38,280 --> 00:52:42,280
Speaker 4: there op no crazy. Dem was happy again, But because

1118
00:52:42,280 --> 00:52:44,560
Speaker 4: of all that had happened, I really felt like I

1119
00:52:44,680 --> 00:52:48,080
Speaker 4: wasn't crazy about Batti being suspicious, and so I made

1120
00:52:48,080 --> 00:52:50,600
Speaker 4: a private gathering with Denna and Dem and told them

1121
00:52:50,600 --> 00:52:53,799
Speaker 4: my gut feeling about Battie and I didn't trust them

1122
00:52:53,920 --> 00:52:56,279
Speaker 4: with Jeff. Safe to say, I got made fun of

1123
00:52:56,360 --> 00:52:59,680
Speaker 4: and torn apart by their comments. Saying I was completely

1124
00:52:59,719 --> 00:53:01,759
Speaker 4: wrong about them and was making a big deal out

1125
00:53:01,800 --> 00:53:05,280
Speaker 4: of nothing, making me very sad and insecure about my instincts.

1126
00:53:05,360 --> 00:53:10,319
Speaker 4: DEM said that Dem, who literally was like dealing with

1127
00:53:10,400 --> 00:53:14,239
Speaker 4: Battie's phobic comments, said that you were wrong for being

1128
00:53:14,280 --> 00:53:15,800
Speaker 4: suspicious of Battie.

1129
00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:18,000
Speaker 5: And this is post the comments.

1130
00:53:18,080 --> 00:53:22,359
Speaker 4: Yeah, that one broke my birth range. Okay. A week later,

1131
00:53:22,600 --> 00:53:26,480
Speaker 4: just before Denna's birthday, Jeff blocked them everywhere, and when

1132
00:53:26,560 --> 00:53:29,360
Speaker 4: Dem went to his house to ask why, Battie opened

1133
00:53:29,360 --> 00:53:31,800
Speaker 4: the door and told him to leave them alone. Dem

1134
00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:35,279
Speaker 4: was devastated when Denna also told him she was uncomfortable

1135
00:53:35,280 --> 00:53:37,280
Speaker 4: with him right now and that she needed a break

1136
00:53:37,320 --> 00:53:40,400
Speaker 4: from him. Dem went into a depressive spiral and I

1137
00:53:40,480 --> 00:53:43,799
Speaker 4: comforted him for a few days. Dem has since abandoned

1138
00:53:43,880 --> 00:53:46,080
Speaker 4: college and I go see him every now and then

1139
00:53:46,400 --> 00:53:48,360
Speaker 4: I went to talk to Denna, and she said she

1140
00:53:48,480 --> 00:53:50,759
Speaker 4: was still my friend as well as Jeff, but I

1141
00:53:50,840 --> 00:53:53,560
Speaker 4: wasn't happy with how they treated my bff. So I

1142
00:53:53,640 --> 00:53:55,960
Speaker 4: talked with both of them about being respectful to each

1143
00:53:55,960 --> 00:53:58,120
Speaker 4: other and how I was not putting up with their

1144
00:53:58,200 --> 00:54:01,439
Speaker 4: bad ways of managing relationships. They said I was right

1145
00:54:01,560 --> 00:54:04,080
Speaker 4: and that they were very sorry even talking about how

1146
00:54:04,080 --> 00:54:07,719
Speaker 4: they were planning to apologize to Dem, which never happened,

1147
00:54:07,960 --> 00:54:11,160
Speaker 4: and were very ashamed of their actions. Not even a

1148
00:54:11,239 --> 00:54:15,560
Speaker 4: month past when I realized I had lost eighteen followers

1149
00:54:15,560 --> 00:54:18,360
Speaker 4: on Instagram, who I then identified as some of my

1150
00:54:18,480 --> 00:54:21,640
Speaker 4: college friends, including Jeff. I had a private account just

1151
00:54:21,760 --> 00:54:24,960
Speaker 4: for friends, totally about fifty seven people, not all very

1152
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:27,360
Speaker 4: close friends, but people I've talked to and mostly know

1153
00:54:27,440 --> 00:54:30,279
Speaker 4: in real life, and some virtual friends. Summing it up,

1154
00:54:30,320 --> 00:54:32,800
Speaker 4: I couldn't contact Jeff, so I sent him a letter,

1155
00:54:33,120 --> 00:54:35,799
Speaker 4: scared of going to his house and facing Batty being

1156
00:54:35,920 --> 00:54:38,680
Speaker 4: violent and rude. I received back a letter saying he

1157
00:54:38,760 --> 00:54:42,200
Speaker 4: didn't want friends who could support problematic individuals like Dem,

1158
00:54:42,400 --> 00:54:42,799
Speaker 4: and I.

1159
00:54:42,760 --> 00:54:46,320
Speaker 5: Don't want friends who support problematic individuals like Batty.

1160
00:54:46,520 --> 00:54:49,680
Speaker 4: Literally, I would be so confused. I would go to

1161
00:54:49,760 --> 00:54:52,719
Speaker 4: Jeff and I say, what actually do you think rest

1162
00:54:52,760 --> 00:54:54,719
Speaker 4: the problem here? I would be so confused.

1163
00:54:54,719 --> 00:54:57,799
Speaker 5: I would be assuming that Battie's probably obviously.

1164
00:54:57,480 --> 00:54:58,640
Speaker 4: Spinning the story rying.

1165
00:54:59,120 --> 00:55:02,480
Speaker 5: I also would probably just give up on that friendship

1166
00:55:02,480 --> 00:55:04,799
Speaker 5: with Yeah, he can say with what he wants and

1167
00:55:04,840 --> 00:55:06,839
Speaker 5: we can move on, and I will be friends with

1168
00:55:06,880 --> 00:55:07,959
Speaker 5: Dem and Dinna.

1169
00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:10,560
Speaker 4: I don't even know how Dennis like, Denna's not even

1170
00:55:10,640 --> 00:55:13,399
Speaker 4: like close friend either, because she's signing with Jeff Abet

1171
00:55:13,440 --> 00:55:13,920
Speaker 4: her cousin.

1172
00:55:14,080 --> 00:55:16,560
Speaker 5: Yeah, I feel like that part's just blood though, Yeah

1173
00:55:16,760 --> 00:55:18,560
Speaker 5: it's just blood, because.

1174
00:55:19,440 --> 00:55:21,319
Speaker 4: Denna was still like, and I'll be friends with both

1175
00:55:21,320 --> 00:55:21,520
Speaker 4: of you.

1176
00:55:21,760 --> 00:55:22,000
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1177
00:55:22,200 --> 00:55:25,160
Speaker 4: So but you've got dem and you've got your whole

1178
00:55:25,560 --> 00:55:29,279
Speaker 4: poly group. So yeah, you got yours three built in

1179
00:55:29,360 --> 00:55:32,280
Speaker 4: friends are there. We met up at a coffee shop,

1180
00:55:32,360 --> 00:55:35,360
Speaker 4: where he repeated the same things and mentioned too that

1181
00:55:35,400 --> 00:55:38,520
Speaker 4: he didn't like my Instagram stories with indirects to him

1182
00:55:38,520 --> 00:55:40,319
Speaker 4: and Battie. I love a band that makes a lot

1183
00:55:40,320 --> 00:55:42,239
Speaker 4: of very angry music, and they had released a new

1184
00:55:42,280 --> 00:55:44,960
Speaker 4: album some days before this incident, so I didn't even

1185
00:55:45,000 --> 00:55:47,120
Speaker 4: know what he was talking about until he showed me

1186
00:55:47,200 --> 00:55:49,560
Speaker 4: the stories. He also told me he was showing my

1187
00:55:49,640 --> 00:55:52,560
Speaker 4: friends how much of a trash person I was, hence

1188
00:55:52,680 --> 00:55:56,319
Speaker 4: the loss of followers and friends. I was devastated and

1189
00:55:56,320 --> 00:55:58,800
Speaker 4: made the huge mistake of talking about this to Denna,

1190
00:55:58,920 --> 00:56:01,120
Speaker 4: who told me to stop talking about the subject because

1191
00:56:01,120 --> 00:56:03,239
Speaker 4: it was very inappropriate of me to talk about her

1192
00:56:03,280 --> 00:56:05,920
Speaker 4: cousin like that. I apologized immediately and told her I

1193
00:56:05,960 --> 00:56:08,360
Speaker 4: was not trying to talk bad about Jeff just trying

1194
00:56:08,360 --> 00:56:11,040
Speaker 4: to understand what happened. Denna said it was okay and

1195
00:56:11,040 --> 00:56:13,800
Speaker 4: that we were still friends, but she became very distant

1196
00:56:13,800 --> 00:56:16,360
Speaker 4: and stopped answering texts as often as before.

1197
00:56:16,640 --> 00:56:19,960
Speaker 5: I stand by the whole, like, let's just let this messy.

1198
00:56:20,600 --> 00:56:22,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, the messy people of this group go.

1199
00:56:22,760 --> 00:56:26,040
Speaker 5: You never liked Maddie. Jeff is being just like, very

1200
00:56:26,160 --> 00:56:30,680
Speaker 5: just and awful and weird. Denna's going to support her cousin, honestly. Yeah,

1201
00:56:30,880 --> 00:56:33,880
Speaker 5: I don't see a problem with keeping Denna around at

1202
00:56:33,880 --> 00:56:36,560
Speaker 5: a very arm's length friendship. And then you have them

1203
00:56:36,920 --> 00:56:39,960
Speaker 5: and your little polycule like sounds like you got a

1204
00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:42,319
Speaker 5: support group stuff. Yeah, I don't think we need to

1205
00:56:42,320 --> 00:56:45,480
Speaker 5: be reaching after Jeff, who got his little army of

1206
00:56:45,520 --> 00:56:47,600
Speaker 5: eighteen people to angrily unfollow you.

1207
00:56:47,800 --> 00:56:50,040
Speaker 4: So weird. But there is a little bit left to

1208
00:56:50,160 --> 00:56:52,760
Speaker 4: this story. Over the last months and weeks, I lost

1209
00:56:52,800 --> 00:56:57,400
Speaker 4: another twenty followers and became an outcast in college only

1210
00:56:57,440 --> 00:56:59,959
Speaker 4: being talked to you by this girl named Flo who

1211
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:02,720
Speaker 4: who told me everything Jeff has said about me, including

1212
00:57:02,760 --> 00:57:06,280
Speaker 4: a lot of lies like me being a stalker, obsessed

1213
00:57:06,480 --> 00:57:09,279
Speaker 4: and jealous of him, trying to steal Baddy from him.

1214
00:57:09,719 --> 00:57:12,279
Speaker 4: And being a creep around them. Of course, none of

1215
00:57:12,320 --> 00:57:14,359
Speaker 4: this is true and there's no proof, which is why

1216
00:57:14,440 --> 00:57:18,160
Speaker 4: Flow approached me to talk. But this has been too much,

1217
00:57:18,240 --> 00:57:20,440
Speaker 4: and I have taken this summer as an opportunity to

1218
00:57:20,560 --> 00:57:23,200
Speaker 4: leave this college. I'm joining another one closer to my

1219
00:57:23,280 --> 00:57:26,240
Speaker 4: house and changing my career to do graphic design.

1220
00:57:26,560 --> 00:57:27,720
Speaker 5: Heck you nice?

1221
00:57:28,120 --> 00:57:31,000
Speaker 4: Okay. Just yesterday I realized that Denna, who has been

1222
00:57:31,040 --> 00:57:33,480
Speaker 4: texting me that she wasn't leaving and that we would

1223
00:57:33,480 --> 00:57:37,200
Speaker 4: always be friends, has blocked me. Now I'm not taking

1224
00:57:37,240 --> 00:57:40,200
Speaker 4: my time to write a letter. I'm not searching for answers,

1225
00:57:40,400 --> 00:57:43,600
Speaker 4: nor will I try to save our friendships. I've decided

1226
00:57:43,640 --> 00:57:47,280
Speaker 4: that I will close my Instagram and not contact Denna anymore,

1227
00:57:47,600 --> 00:57:50,320
Speaker 4: nor my old friends who believed Jeff and didn't even

1228
00:57:50,400 --> 00:57:53,760
Speaker 4: question his words or try to know my side of

1229
00:57:53,800 --> 00:57:56,080
Speaker 4: the story. I have just stopped caring for these people

1230
00:57:56,080 --> 00:57:58,400
Speaker 4: who seem to not be as good friends as I thought.

1231
00:57:58,600 --> 00:58:00,480
Speaker 4: I'm writing this as a way to let go of

1232
00:58:00,560 --> 00:58:05,160
Speaker 4: all this trash. I'm tired, angry, and kind of sad,

1233
00:58:05,320 --> 00:58:07,800
Speaker 4: but mostly I feel them, and that is the end

1234
00:58:07,880 --> 00:58:08,560
Speaker 4: of that story.

1235
00:58:09,360 --> 00:58:10,600
Speaker 2: Hey, it's John yo og host here.

1236
00:58:10,600 --> 00:58:12,000
Speaker 6: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's a

1237
00:58:12,040 --> 00:58:13,880
Speaker 6: quick three minute break of ass from our sponsors.

1238
00:58:14,520 --> 00:58:19,240
Speaker 5: My ex's wife caused wedding drama, and my cousin blamed

1239
00:58:19,240 --> 00:58:19,960
Speaker 5: me for it.

1240
00:58:20,240 --> 00:58:22,920
Speaker 6: That's because it's your ex's wife.

1241
00:58:23,080 --> 00:58:24,680
Speaker 2: You should have never broken up.

1242
00:58:25,040 --> 00:58:29,200
Speaker 5: In Uni, I had a very brief soor of relationship

1243
00:58:29,320 --> 00:58:31,840
Speaker 5: with a guy on my course. I ended it because

1244
00:58:31,840 --> 00:58:35,160
Speaker 5: I felt like I needed to learn independence. I've never

1245
00:58:35,240 --> 00:58:38,080
Speaker 5: lived on my own. My mom and dad coddled me

1246
00:58:38,240 --> 00:58:41,480
Speaker 5: and paid for my expenses, cooked for me, did my laundry,

1247
00:58:41,520 --> 00:58:42,000
Speaker 5: et cetera.

1248
00:58:42,200 --> 00:58:42,959
Speaker 4: By the way, this.

1249
00:58:42,920 --> 00:58:49,440
Speaker 5: Comes from Jay, and if you want us to meet

1250
00:58:49,440 --> 00:58:51,040
Speaker 5: your own stories, go to the r slash.

1251
00:58:51,040 --> 00:58:52,360
Speaker 4: Okay, storytime subready.

1252
00:58:52,440 --> 00:58:55,840
Speaker 5: I'm Carly, my name is Though, and we're here to

1253
00:58:55,840 --> 00:58:58,680
Speaker 5: give good advice. Googly, but we don't have all the answers.

1254
00:58:58,720 --> 00:59:00,400
Speaker 5: We only know what we would do, So let us

1255
00:59:00,400 --> 00:59:03,360
Speaker 5: know what you would do. In the comments and Opisa points,

1256
00:59:03,720 --> 00:59:06,160
Speaker 5: he was looking to settle down and I really wasn't.

1257
00:59:06,400 --> 00:59:08,240
Speaker 5: I wanted to learn to be on my own for

1258
00:59:08,280 --> 00:59:10,720
Speaker 5: a bit, and he wanted to marry someone he could.

1259
00:59:10,600 --> 00:59:11,280
Speaker 4: Take care of.

1260
00:59:11,560 --> 00:59:14,800
Speaker 5: We went our separate ways finished, UNI got jobs, et cetera.

1261
00:59:15,160 --> 00:59:16,840
Speaker 4: My cousin got married the other day.

1262
00:59:17,120 --> 00:59:20,520
Speaker 5: This guy that I was previously talking to attended with

1263
00:59:20,800 --> 00:59:23,920
Speaker 5: his wife. She also attended our UNI and was on

1264
00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:27,200
Speaker 5: the same course. I wasn't really fussed by seeing them.

1265
00:59:27,280 --> 00:59:30,560
Speaker 5: They've clearly moved on, and I'm a loving life right now,

1266
00:59:30,800 --> 00:59:34,720
Speaker 5: having that independence I've been wanting. It's all chill until

1267
00:59:34,760 --> 00:59:37,800
Speaker 5: his wife comes up to our table. She asked me

1268
00:59:37,920 --> 00:59:40,600
Speaker 5: why she didn't see me at graduation. For context, I

1269
00:59:40,640 --> 00:59:44,720
Speaker 5: didn't attend our graduation ceremony because both my grandmothers.

1270
00:59:44,120 --> 00:59:46,480
Speaker 4: Had passed away and it was their funeral.

1271
00:59:46,920 --> 00:59:50,640
Speaker 6: Oh my god, yeah, so extremely valid reason to not

1272
00:59:50,760 --> 00:59:51,160
Speaker 6: be there.

1273
00:59:51,480 --> 00:59:54,400
Speaker 5: I didn't really care about missing graduation because I've got

1274
00:59:54,480 --> 00:59:57,600
Speaker 5: horrible social anxiety anyway, and the thought of being seen

1275
00:59:57,680 --> 00:59:59,400
Speaker 5: by that many people freaked me out.

1276
00:59:59,560 --> 01:00:00,760
Speaker 4: She asked about my career.

1277
01:00:00,920 --> 01:00:03,200
Speaker 5: I told her that I'm in teaching now and I

1278
01:00:03,320 --> 01:00:06,360
Speaker 5: love it. Small pleasantries, you get it. But she randomly

1279
01:00:06,480 --> 01:00:10,160
Speaker 5: veered the conversation in different direction. She's like, my husband

1280
01:00:10,200 --> 01:00:13,000
Speaker 5: doesn't care about you anymore. I wasn't bothered at all,

1281
01:00:13,080 --> 01:00:15,840
Speaker 5: because over the few years since we were together, I

1282
01:00:15,920 --> 01:00:19,560
Speaker 5: started to see just how toxic he was. He was controlling,

1283
01:00:19,640 --> 01:00:22,640
Speaker 5: and he wanted me to ask his permission before seeing

1284
01:00:22,680 --> 01:00:25,400
Speaker 5: my own friends. I was not looking to start an

1285
01:00:25,480 --> 01:00:28,160
Speaker 5: argument at my cousin's wedding, so I walked away from

1286
01:00:28,240 --> 01:00:31,000
Speaker 5: them and sat at my other cousin's table. I don't

1287
01:00:31,040 --> 01:00:33,439
Speaker 5: know how, but she found me again at some other

1288
01:00:33,480 --> 01:00:36,440
Speaker 5: point of the reception, and it got weird. She was

1289
01:00:36,440 --> 01:00:39,760
Speaker 5: saying things like, you are so jealous of us, you

1290
01:00:39,840 --> 01:00:42,680
Speaker 5: skipped a graduation because you didn't want to see us together.

1291
01:00:43,000 --> 01:00:44,480
Speaker 4: I didn't even know they were together.

1292
01:00:44,760 --> 01:00:47,560
Speaker 2: Ah, I freaking knew it. I freaking knew she was

1293
01:00:47,600 --> 01:00:48,160
Speaker 2: gonna say that.

1294
01:00:49,120 --> 01:00:52,200
Speaker 5: I didn't bother explaining myself. It would have been pointless,

1295
01:00:52,240 --> 01:00:54,400
Speaker 5: as she'd already made up her mind about me. I

1296
01:00:54,560 --> 01:00:56,640
Speaker 5: just nodded along as she rant it to me. But

1297
01:00:57,000 --> 01:00:59,600
Speaker 5: as you'd expect, it started to take attention away from

1298
01:00:59,640 --> 01:01:01,920
Speaker 5: the wedding. I decided it would probably be best to

1299
01:01:01,920 --> 01:01:04,000
Speaker 5: go home, so I gave my gifts and left. But

1300
01:01:04,040 --> 01:01:07,479
Speaker 5: my cousin messaged me a few days later, angry at

1301
01:01:07,480 --> 01:01:10,240
Speaker 5: me for starting fights at the wedding. I told her

1302
01:01:10,280 --> 01:01:12,240
Speaker 5: I wasn't looking for any fights and that girl had

1303
01:01:12,240 --> 01:01:14,920
Speaker 5: approached me every single time. She told me it was

1304
01:01:15,080 --> 01:01:17,920
Speaker 5: my fault for leading him on in the first place.

1305
01:01:18,120 --> 01:01:20,360
Speaker 5: I explained it was a very long time ago. I

1306
01:01:20,400 --> 01:01:23,000
Speaker 5: was only nineteen at the time, and I wasn't sure

1307
01:01:23,000 --> 01:01:25,160
Speaker 5: what I wanted to do with my life, let alone

1308
01:01:25,200 --> 01:01:25,720
Speaker 5: commit to.

1309
01:01:25,800 --> 01:01:26,640
Speaker 4: Marrying a guy.

1310
01:01:26,840 --> 01:01:29,480
Speaker 6: So no, this is I bet you the cousin is

1311
01:01:29,520 --> 01:01:33,360
Speaker 6: saying that because she's marrying like the first person she

1312
01:01:33,400 --> 01:01:35,800
Speaker 6: ever hated. Because what does she mean when she say

1313
01:01:36,320 --> 01:01:39,640
Speaker 6: leading him on like that we dated, we broke up?

1314
01:01:39,880 --> 01:01:42,400
Speaker 5: Uh, dating a man for a little bit and then

1315
01:01:42,440 --> 01:01:45,480
Speaker 5: being like, hey, I changed my mind, I'm not interested.

1316
01:01:45,760 --> 01:01:47,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's not leading a man on.

1317
01:01:47,560 --> 01:01:50,160
Speaker 6: I wouldn't like to live in your dungeon where you

1318
01:01:50,200 --> 01:01:52,760
Speaker 6: give me crackers and milk every day and that's it.

1319
01:01:53,160 --> 01:01:54,880
Speaker 2: Crackers and milk and you better lack it.

1320
01:01:55,120 --> 01:01:56,240
Speaker 4: Am I being dumb?

1321
01:01:56,320 --> 01:01:57,800
Speaker 5: Or is this actually my fault?

1322
01:01:58,160 --> 01:01:59,240
Speaker 4: Did I ruin the wedding?

1323
01:01:59,360 --> 01:02:01,680
Speaker 5: There's more I want to include, but this post is

1324
01:02:01,720 --> 01:02:05,240
Speaker 5: limited and we have the verdict, which is obviously not

1325
01:02:05,360 --> 01:02:08,200
Speaker 5: the a hole. But before we get into some comments,

1326
01:02:08,280 --> 01:02:09,080
Speaker 5: any thoughts.

1327
01:02:09,360 --> 01:02:11,400
Speaker 6: No, as soon as as soon as I heard that

1328
01:02:11,560 --> 01:02:13,800
Speaker 6: she walked up to you that first time, I knew

1329
01:02:13,840 --> 01:02:15,640
Speaker 6: that's exactly why she did it.

1330
01:02:15,840 --> 01:02:18,840
Speaker 5: She immediately probably saw you and was like, I'm gonna

1331
01:02:18,880 --> 01:02:19,920
Speaker 5: go up there and show her.

1332
01:02:20,440 --> 01:02:22,640
Speaker 4: It's like, no, you were minding your own business at

1333
01:02:22,640 --> 01:02:23,680
Speaker 4: your cousin's wedding.

1334
01:02:24,240 --> 01:02:26,280
Speaker 2: I know you're actually secretly still upsets with my husband

1335
01:02:26,280 --> 01:02:27,480
Speaker 2: who I'm married, who used to date.

1336
01:02:28,200 --> 01:02:28,600
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1337
01:02:28,800 --> 01:02:31,640
Speaker 2: It's like you can just say your husband and also

1338
01:02:31,920 --> 01:02:32,280
Speaker 2: I'm not.

1339
01:02:33,320 --> 01:02:35,600
Speaker 5: Yeah, and also then I would have continued to date

1340
01:02:35,640 --> 01:02:36,400
Speaker 5: him if I liked.

1341
01:02:37,320 --> 01:02:40,040
Speaker 2: Right, you can have him a less please.

1342
01:02:39,800 --> 01:02:41,000
Speaker 5: Keep him relevant.

1343
01:02:41,000 --> 01:02:42,080
Speaker 4: Comments come under one.

1344
01:02:42,320 --> 01:02:44,600
Speaker 5: You didn't start the fight, and you left so it

1345
01:02:44,600 --> 01:02:47,240
Speaker 5: wouldn't cause commotion at the wedding, not the a hole.

1346
01:02:47,440 --> 01:02:49,560
Speaker 5: Is your cousin friends with the other girl, because it

1347
01:02:49,600 --> 01:02:51,880
Speaker 5: seems like she's taken sides when she should be mad

1348
01:02:51,920 --> 01:02:54,560
Speaker 5: at the other girl for starting crap at her wedding.

1349
01:02:54,640 --> 01:02:57,440
Speaker 5: OPI responds, Yeah, they're friends, but I didn't know that

1350
01:02:57,600 --> 01:02:58,680
Speaker 5: until after the wedding.

1351
01:02:58,960 --> 01:02:59,760
Speaker 4: I'm under two.

1352
01:03:00,120 --> 01:03:02,520
Speaker 5: Your cousin realized that this person is making up lies.

1353
01:03:02,600 --> 01:03:05,720
Speaker 5: But she's saying you skipped graduation because you were jealous

1354
01:03:05,800 --> 01:03:08,520
Speaker 5: of her and ex being together, and the real reason

1355
01:03:08,560 --> 01:03:11,880
Speaker 5: you missed it was for your grandmother's funeral, because she

1356
01:03:12,000 --> 01:03:15,400
Speaker 5: could put together that your grandmother did pass away, and

1357
01:03:15,840 --> 01:03:18,880
Speaker 5: was this grandmother related to the bride too. Opie says, no,

1358
01:03:19,000 --> 01:03:21,880
Speaker 5: she wasn't. We're related on my dad's biological side, but

1359
01:03:21,960 --> 01:03:25,120
Speaker 5: he's adopted. It was his adoptive mom that passed away,

1360
01:03:25,200 --> 01:03:27,840
Speaker 5: and my mom's mom. She did know about the passings,

1361
01:03:27,880 --> 01:03:29,880
Speaker 5: but I don't think she knew it was when my

1362
01:03:30,000 --> 01:03:33,040
Speaker 5: graduation was supposed to be. Our families aren't that close.

1363
01:03:33,240 --> 01:03:35,480
Speaker 5: Commentar three, not the A hole? What is wrong with

1364
01:03:35,560 --> 01:03:38,200
Speaker 5: these people? I'd be very firm with everyone who had

1365
01:03:38,240 --> 01:03:41,080
Speaker 5: something to say. I attended my cousin's wedding and my

1366
01:03:41,160 --> 01:03:45,480
Speaker 5: ex's new wife behaved like an unhinged lunatic, following me around.

1367
01:03:46,040 --> 01:03:49,000
Speaker 5: It became so uncomfortable that I had to leave because

1368
01:03:49,160 --> 01:03:52,680
Speaker 5: she was causing a scene. I have nothing to apologize for,

1369
01:03:52,960 --> 01:03:55,520
Speaker 5: Opie says. I did point this out to my cousin,

1370
01:03:55,560 --> 01:03:58,560
Speaker 5: but she's still upset with me and says I probably

1371
01:03:58,640 --> 01:04:01,360
Speaker 5: should not have attended, but I didn't even know they

1372
01:04:01,360 --> 01:04:02,720
Speaker 5: were going to attend.

1373
01:04:02,480 --> 01:04:03,800
Speaker 4: Or that they were even married.

1374
01:04:04,040 --> 01:04:06,720
Speaker 5: Coming to four says did your cousin invite you? Opie says,

1375
01:04:06,920 --> 01:04:09,240
Speaker 5: she invited my parents, but they couldn't make it, so

1376
01:04:09,280 --> 01:04:10,720
Speaker 5: they asked me to go instead.

1377
01:04:10,960 --> 01:04:13,680
Speaker 2: So okay, so your cousin doesn't even like you in

1378
01:04:13,720 --> 01:04:16,080
Speaker 2: the first place. You invited the wedding.

1379
01:04:16,400 --> 01:04:19,400
Speaker 5: In my culture, it's considered rude if I don't attend

1380
01:04:19,440 --> 01:04:22,320
Speaker 5: on my parents' behalf. Commander four says, did she know

1381
01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:24,600
Speaker 5: you were attending on your parents' behalf ahead of time?

1382
01:04:24,760 --> 01:04:27,320
Speaker 5: Opie says, yes, my parents already rang her mom to

1383
01:04:27,360 --> 01:04:29,760
Speaker 5: explain they couldn't make it, but I was attending for

1384
01:04:29,800 --> 01:04:33,240
Speaker 5: them coming to four responds back, in that case, your

1385
01:04:33,240 --> 01:04:35,200
Speaker 5: cousin knew who was going to be there, and she

1386
01:04:35,280 --> 01:04:37,440
Speaker 5: should have determined if it might be a problem or

1387
01:04:37,440 --> 01:04:40,560
Speaker 5: not and addressed it beforehand. You didn't have the information

1388
01:04:40,640 --> 01:04:42,960
Speaker 5: to judge that. I don't know why your cousin's friend

1389
01:04:43,000 --> 01:04:45,480
Speaker 5: wouldn't just ignore you for the sake of her friend's wedding.

1390
01:04:45,520 --> 01:04:48,360
Speaker 5: What a psycho, Opie says, I'm not sure if she

1391
01:04:48,400 --> 01:04:50,920
Speaker 5: even put that together until she saw us at the wedding.

1392
01:04:51,040 --> 01:04:53,480
Speaker 5: It was so long ago and I haven't thought about

1393
01:04:53,480 --> 01:04:55,600
Speaker 5: it since it ended. But the wife is a bit

1394
01:04:55,680 --> 01:04:58,680
Speaker 5: strange for holding on to a year long relationship between

1395
01:04:58,680 --> 01:05:02,200
Speaker 5: eighteen and nineteen years old five says, sounds like neither

1396
01:05:02,240 --> 01:05:05,240
Speaker 5: your ex and your wife, nor your cousin were actually

1397
01:05:05,280 --> 01:05:08,080
Speaker 5: mature enough to get married, not the a hole. Opie says,

1398
01:05:08,160 --> 01:05:10,440
Speaker 5: I'm only twenty two. To be fair, my cousin is

1399
01:05:10,480 --> 01:05:13,000
Speaker 5: only a couple years older than me. OPI on how

1400
01:05:13,040 --> 01:05:16,400
Speaker 5: the wife managed to locate her if OPI moved tables,

1401
01:05:16,600 --> 01:05:18,680
Speaker 5: Opie says, I mean it's an Asian way.

1402
01:05:18,800 --> 01:05:23,480
Speaker 6: We also people have eyeballs and can walk around and see

1403
01:05:23,600 --> 01:05:24,440
Speaker 6: other people.

1404
01:05:25,360 --> 01:05:25,440
Speaker 3: Like.

1405
01:05:25,520 --> 01:05:28,640
Speaker 2: It's not like they had it in a labyrinth.

1406
01:05:28,320 --> 01:05:32,040
Speaker 5: Like right, She says there were at least thirty different tables.

1407
01:05:32,360 --> 01:05:34,560
Speaker 5: I feel like you could still see people.

1408
01:05:35,040 --> 01:05:39,000
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's like that commenter, do you know how tables work?

1409
01:05:39,320 --> 01:05:42,400
Speaker 4: And we have an update ten weeks later.

1410
01:05:42,600 --> 01:05:44,640
Speaker 2: Oh, could you have possibly found her? If she switched

1411
01:05:44,680 --> 01:05:45,720
Speaker 2: to tables.

1412
01:05:45,640 --> 01:05:47,520
Speaker 4: You can't walk around the building.

1413
01:05:48,000 --> 01:05:51,840
Speaker 6: I would be very care be very careful with this

1414
01:05:51,880 --> 01:05:55,360
Speaker 6: woman because she clearly is not very scaled individual.

1415
01:05:55,440 --> 01:05:56,280
Speaker 4: He's a witch.

1416
01:05:56,440 --> 01:05:59,800
Speaker 6: She's trained in spycraft, possibly espionage.

1417
01:06:00,040 --> 01:06:01,760
Speaker 2: It may even have magical witch powers.

1418
01:06:01,960 --> 01:06:04,720
Speaker 5: Oh. We even update two weeks later though, any thoughts,

1419
01:06:04,880 --> 01:06:05,240
Speaker 5: I just.

1420
01:06:05,200 --> 01:06:08,440
Speaker 6: Want to know if your cousin is getting married to

1421
01:06:08,480 --> 01:06:09,600
Speaker 6: her first relationship.

1422
01:06:09,880 --> 01:06:12,520
Speaker 5: I did end up contacting my cousin after reading through

1423
01:06:12,560 --> 01:06:15,120
Speaker 5: the comments on the original post. I waited a while

1424
01:06:15,120 --> 01:06:17,840
Speaker 5: because she was enjoying her honeymoon. It went better than

1425
01:06:17,840 --> 01:06:20,280
Speaker 5: I expected, to be honest, she did start off by

1426
01:06:20,280 --> 01:06:22,520
Speaker 5: explaining that she was upset at the wedding because she

1427
01:06:22,560 --> 01:06:25,120
Speaker 5: felt flustered about having people fighting.

1428
01:06:24,760 --> 01:06:25,400
Speaker 4: At her wedding.

1429
01:06:25,600 --> 01:06:27,720
Speaker 5: It was her instinct to stick up for her friend.

1430
01:06:27,920 --> 01:06:30,000
Speaker 5: I mentioned in the comments that my cousin and I

1431
01:06:30,040 --> 01:06:32,800
Speaker 5: aren't very close, so it might sound strange that she'd

1432
01:06:32,800 --> 01:06:35,280
Speaker 5: opt to defend her friend over me, but it makes

1433
01:06:35,320 --> 01:06:37,480
Speaker 5: sense to me, and I'm not mad about it. We

1434
01:06:37,520 --> 01:06:39,920
Speaker 5: pretty much squashed it and agreed that it would be

1435
01:06:39,920 --> 01:06:42,920
Speaker 5: better for the sake of our families to just agree

1436
01:06:42,920 --> 01:06:45,680
Speaker 5: that there are no hard feelings and what happened happened

1437
01:06:45,880 --> 01:06:48,120
Speaker 5: just to make life easier for events like this in

1438
01:06:48,160 --> 01:06:50,800
Speaker 5: the future. I don't think about it anymore. Most of

1439
01:06:50,840 --> 01:06:54,480
Speaker 5: my reaction to the situation came from everything happening so publicly.

1440
01:06:54,680 --> 01:06:56,960
Speaker 5: Once I was out of the situation and had time

1441
01:06:56,960 --> 01:06:59,440
Speaker 5: to cool down a bit, it stopped bothering me. I

1442
01:06:59,480 --> 01:07:01,720
Speaker 5: wanted to clear some things up to Some of you

1443
01:07:01,800 --> 01:07:04,080
Speaker 5: were confused why I would be shocked that the wife

1444
01:07:04,120 --> 01:07:06,920
Speaker 5: found me during the reception. I forgot that white weddings

1445
01:07:06,920 --> 01:07:10,040
Speaker 5: are so small. There were between seven hundred to one

1446
01:07:10,040 --> 01:07:13,920
Speaker 5: thousand people at this wedding, and like seventy to eighty tables,

1447
01:07:13,920 --> 01:07:16,240
Speaker 5: not including the bride and groom's table. It was a

1448
01:07:16,240 --> 01:07:18,760
Speaker 5: pretty big venue. And my cousin's table that I sat

1449
01:07:18,800 --> 01:07:21,240
Speaker 5: at was tucked away in the corner. OPEI said thirty

1450
01:07:21,280 --> 01:07:24,360
Speaker 5: tables earlier. We just jumped to seventy to eighty. That

1451
01:07:24,480 --> 01:07:26,040
Speaker 5: is way bigger than I was expecting.

1452
01:07:26,160 --> 01:07:28,600
Speaker 2: That might be a little bit harder to find somebody.

1453
01:07:28,840 --> 01:07:30,360
Speaker 4: She said thirty tables earlier.

1454
01:07:30,400 --> 01:07:34,400
Speaker 5: I was like, that seems pretty standard. Nah, seven hundred

1455
01:07:34,400 --> 01:07:36,560
Speaker 5: to one thousand people, that's wild.

1456
01:07:37,120 --> 01:07:37,760
Speaker 4: That's gonna be.

1457
01:07:37,680 --> 01:07:38,960
Speaker 5: A fun time, might be.

1458
01:07:39,360 --> 01:07:41,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, that she'd tracked you down, Yeah she did.

1459
01:07:41,760 --> 01:07:42,120
Speaker 5: She was.

1460
01:07:42,320 --> 01:07:43,320
Speaker 2: She had your sant.

1461
01:07:43,680 --> 01:07:46,600
Speaker 5: Yeah, speaking of some of you were wondering why the

1462
01:07:46,640 --> 01:07:49,520
Speaker 5: cousin I sat with didn't say anything. She is like

1463
01:07:49,600 --> 01:07:52,680
Speaker 5: me in that sense. Getting involved just makes the situation worse,

1464
01:07:52,800 --> 01:07:56,240
Speaker 5: as we've seen with our parents, aunts and uncles. And No,

1465
01:07:56,560 --> 01:07:59,120
Speaker 5: it wasn't a situation where the entirety of the hall

1466
01:07:59,200 --> 01:08:02,200
Speaker 5: stopped and watched. It was more of a situation where

1467
01:08:02,200 --> 01:08:04,720
Speaker 5: the few people around us were watching the situation go down.

1468
01:08:04,840 --> 01:08:07,600
Speaker 5: There were still people dancing, going to all the carts

1469
01:08:07,600 --> 01:08:11,280
Speaker 5: serving different foods, et cetera. Sounds like everything's all good now.

1470
01:08:11,480 --> 01:08:15,160
Speaker 6: How is one altercation between you and a kind of

1471
01:08:15,200 --> 01:08:18,519
Speaker 6: deranged lady going to ruin a wedding with like a

1472
01:08:18,760 --> 01:08:20,639
Speaker 6: thousand people there right?

1473
01:08:21,479 --> 01:08:23,599
Speaker 5: I wonder if the cousin would have even like known

1474
01:08:23,640 --> 01:08:27,639
Speaker 5: about it, if it was like the people watching, stay hush, hush.

1475
01:08:27,720 --> 01:08:28,160
Speaker 2: I don't know.

1476
01:08:28,200 --> 01:08:33,240
Speaker 6: Your cousin just doesn't like you, dude. That's that's really

1477
01:08:33,280 --> 01:08:36,040
Speaker 6: the big, big facts. Your cousin does not care for

1478
01:08:36,080 --> 01:08:36,920
Speaker 6: you for some reason.

1479
01:08:37,240 --> 01:08:39,320
Speaker 5: Also, I don't know what side of the story his

1480
01:08:39,400 --> 01:08:42,000
Speaker 5: wife knows, nor do I care to know. It happened

1481
01:08:42,040 --> 01:08:44,680
Speaker 5: three years ago. I realize my account of this may

1482
01:08:44,720 --> 01:08:47,200
Speaker 5: be biased, so I take accountability for that. I think

1483
01:08:47,320 --> 01:08:50,320
Speaker 5: naturally we tend to only see situations from our own

1484
01:08:50,400 --> 01:08:53,519
Speaker 5: point of view. We have some top comments that.

1485
01:08:53,560 --> 01:08:57,280
Speaker 2: Was very poignant and relevant and stute observation Opie.

1486
01:08:57,560 --> 01:09:00,280
Speaker 5: This is Opie on why there was a large number

1487
01:09:00,280 --> 01:09:02,840
Speaker 5: of guests at the cousin's wedding. This is standard for

1488
01:09:02,920 --> 01:09:05,799
Speaker 5: Asian weddings. If you're not a close member of the family,

1489
01:09:05,920 --> 01:09:08,639
Speaker 5: you're not generally expected to give gifts. You'll just give

1490
01:09:08,640 --> 01:09:10,519
Speaker 5: a small amount of money to the couple, like less

1491
01:09:10,560 --> 01:09:12,920
Speaker 5: than two hundred as a gesture of wishing them a

1492
01:09:13,000 --> 01:09:16,400
Speaker 5: blessed marriage. Common to responds as for why your ex's

1493
01:09:16,400 --> 01:09:19,000
Speaker 5: wife came at you, I can't help but wonder what

1494
01:09:19,120 --> 01:09:21,800
Speaker 5: kinds of stories and signals she's getting from your ex.

1495
01:09:22,000 --> 01:09:24,960
Speaker 5: Maybe he idealizes you, or maybe he's tried to make

1496
01:09:25,000 --> 01:09:27,240
Speaker 5: you the devil and blame you for everything that went

1497
01:09:27,280 --> 01:09:30,120
Speaker 5: wrong in your relationship. Maybe he's telling her that you're

1498
01:09:30,160 --> 01:09:33,040
Speaker 5: obsessed with him and following him around in person and

1499
01:09:33,160 --> 01:09:35,360
Speaker 5: on social media. That is the end of that story.