1 00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:06,400 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio. 2 00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:13,080 Speaker 1: Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. 3 00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:16,560 Speaker 1: Today's tip is a phrase I repeat to myself all 4 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:21,439 Speaker 1: the time. Plan it in, do it anyway. I find 5 00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:23,400 Speaker 1: I make much better use of my time when I 6 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:27,640 Speaker 1: think beyond how I feel right now, A better question 7 00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:31,080 Speaker 1: when I think about how I spend my time looking back? 8 00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:34,199 Speaker 1: Will I be happy I did this? Will I be 9 00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:38,800 Speaker 1: happy with this memory? If so, my experiencing self just 10 00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:43,080 Speaker 1: needs to get on board. That phrase experiencing self comes 11 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:47,520 Speaker 1: from psychologist Daniel Kahneman's work. This Nobel Prize winning researcher 12 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:51,479 Speaker 1: noted that the self really has multiple identities. There's what 13 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:54,000 Speaker 1: we're going through right at this instant, the moment when 14 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:56,800 Speaker 1: you're listening to me tell you about this topic. But 15 00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:59,960 Speaker 1: much of our internal lives actually involved the remembering self, 16 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:03,840 Speaker 1: the keeper of our memories. You think back to your 17 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:06,400 Speaker 1: life and the story of what brought you to this moment. 18 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:08,600 Speaker 1: I actually like to think about this in terms of 19 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:12,800 Speaker 1: three selves, the experiencing self and the remembering self, but 20 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:16,720 Speaker 1: also the anticipating self. Another big chunk of our interior 21 00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:20,640 Speaker 1: monologues consists of our plans, hopes, and anxieties about the future. 22 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:24,160 Speaker 1: You might be commuting on a rainy day, but you're 23 00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:27,280 Speaker 1: thinking about that sunny beach vacation you have planned for August. 24 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:32,160 Speaker 1: Our brains have an amazing ability to time travel backwards 25 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:36,000 Speaker 1: and forwards. Here's why this matters as we think about 26 00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:39,360 Speaker 1: how we spend our time. The present is actually an 27 00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:43,920 Speaker 1: incredibly ephemeral moment. In his book The Principles of Psychology, 28 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:48,400 Speaker 1: William James writes, where is it this present? It has 29 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:51,480 Speaker 1: melted in our grasp, fled ere, we could touch it, 30 00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:56,200 Speaker 1: gone in the instant of becoming. Back in William James's day, 31 00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:59,000 Speaker 1: there was a lot of strange experimental inquiry into the 32 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:03,160 Speaker 1: exact length of the present. Our senses can't distinguish between 33 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,720 Speaker 1: things that happen less than about a half second apart, 34 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:09,679 Speaker 1: and working memory is a maximum of about twelve seconds. 35 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:12,160 Speaker 1: So the length of the present must be somewhere in there, 36 00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:14,880 Speaker 1: or at least that's what I gather from reading about 37 00:02:14,919 --> 00:02:19,680 Speaker 1: these various experiments. So the present is fleeting. Almost all 38 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:23,560 Speaker 1: of life is lived by the anticipating and remembering selves. 39 00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:28,000 Speaker 1: We can anticipate for years, we can remember for decades. 40 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:32,560 Speaker 1: The challenge is that the present, the moment occupied by 41 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:36,760 Speaker 1: the experiencing self, has a disproportionate effect on our actions, 42 00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:42,160 Speaker 1: and frankly, the experiencing self is a little bit lazy. 43 00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:45,360 Speaker 1: The remembering self will be thrilled to have gone on 44 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:47,959 Speaker 1: that early morning trail run so she can see the 45 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:52,840 Speaker 1: gorgeous sun rise over that nearby lake. The experiencing self, well, 46 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:55,919 Speaker 1: she's comfortable in bed, hitting snooze until the sun is 47 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:59,480 Speaker 1: high in the sky. The anticipating self thought it would 48 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:01,040 Speaker 1: be fun to go to an art museum on a 49 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:04,359 Speaker 1: Friday night when admission is free and there's a bar 50 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:08,200 Speaker 1: and music, and the remembering self will fondly recall the 51 00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:11,720 Speaker 1: masterpieces and chatting with new friends in line for a cocktail. 52 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:16,720 Speaker 1: But the experiencing self is tired after work. The experiencing 53 00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:18,520 Speaker 1: self is the one who will have to brave the 54 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:21,760 Speaker 1: cold and the rain and the Friday night traffic. The 55 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:24,520 Speaker 1: experiencing self is not happy about this split of labor, 56 00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:29,880 Speaker 1: so she rebels She ignores what the anticipating and remembering 57 00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:33,200 Speaker 1: self want, and justifies this tantrum by pointing out that 58 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:36,160 Speaker 1: the museum will still be there next Friday, so she's 59 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:40,320 Speaker 1: just going to watch Netflix instead, immediate pleasure wins out 60 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:43,760 Speaker 1: over the more effortful sort. One of the best ways 61 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:47,480 Speaker 1: I've heard this phenomenon described is in philosopher Robert Gruden's 62 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:51,480 Speaker 1: book Time and the Art of Living. He says, we 63 00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:56,200 Speaker 1: pamper the present like a spoiled child. We indulge its 64 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:59,480 Speaker 1: whim to scroll through Instagram instead of living a life 65 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:03,160 Speaker 1: worth taking pictures about. So how do we keep the 66 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:08,000 Speaker 1: experiencing selves tyranny and check It isn't easy. People are 67 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:10,480 Speaker 1: bad at considering their future selves in general, which is 68 00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:14,600 Speaker 1: why so few people invest properly for retirement. But that's 69 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:18,080 Speaker 1: where my mantra comes in. Whenever I find myself listening 70 00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:21,359 Speaker 1: too much to the experiencing self, I repeat my phrase, 71 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:26,840 Speaker 1: plan it in do it anyway. If my anticipating self 72 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:30,760 Speaker 1: really wanted to do something, my remembering self will probably 73 00:04:30,839 --> 00:04:33,560 Speaker 1: be glad that I did it. I may be tired, 74 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:37,800 Speaker 1: but guess what, I'll always be tired, and we draw 75 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:45,919 Speaker 1: energy from meaningful things. Furthermore, all time passes, whether I 76 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:49,599 Speaker 1: do anything today or not. Eventually today will be gone, 77 00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:54,560 Speaker 1: Tomorrow will be gone too. Time can be filled with 78 00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:58,000 Speaker 1: what amounts to nothing, or it can be filled with 79 00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:01,719 Speaker 1: something more meaningful. So if you'd like to have time 80 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:06,880 Speaker 1: feel richer and more meaningful, plan in exciting things the 81 00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:09,760 Speaker 1: many adventures we've talked about in previous episodes, and some 82 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:13,880 Speaker 1: bigger adventures too. And then when you get to the 83 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:17,600 Speaker 1: moment and you are wavering because your couch seems inviting, 84 00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:24,200 Speaker 1: repeat this phrase. Plan it in do it anyway You're 85 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:27,560 Speaker 1: remembering self will thank you. In fact, if you want 86 00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:30,480 Speaker 1: to encourage this mindset in the future, take a moment 87 00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:34,440 Speaker 1: right now to thank your past experiencing self for having 88 00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:38,919 Speaker 1: done something difficult that you can now smile upon. I 89 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:41,279 Speaker 1: just spent some time looking through photos I took a 90 00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:44,160 Speaker 1: few weeks ago of my kids at a botanical garden. 91 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:47,040 Speaker 1: They did not want to turn off their video games 92 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:49,880 Speaker 1: and get in the car. My experiencing self did not 93 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,960 Speaker 1: enjoy that battle. But all that is in the past. Now. 94 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:57,440 Speaker 1: What is left are these images of sunshine and flowers 95 00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:01,040 Speaker 1: and children in a moment of childhood that will be 96 00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:04,960 Speaker 1: gone before I know it. So what will you decide 97 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:08,839 Speaker 1: to do anyway today? Feel free to let me know 98 00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:13,479 Speaker 1: at Before Breakfast podcast at i heeart media dot com. 99 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:17,280 Speaker 1: In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening and 100 00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:25,719 Speaker 1: here's to making the most of our time. Hey everybody, 101 00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:28,080 Speaker 1: I'd love to hear from you. You can send me 102 00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:31,760 Speaker 1: your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with 103 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:36,200 Speaker 1: me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod. 104 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:41,240 Speaker 1: That's b E the number four, then Breakfast p o D. 105 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:44,920 Speaker 1: You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast 106 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:48,400 Speaker 1: podcast at i heeart media dot com that Before Breakfast 107 00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:51,080 Speaker 1: is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much, 108 00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:59,400 Speaker 1: I look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is 109 00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:02,640 Speaker 1: a production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from 110 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:06,640 Speaker 1: I heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, 111 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:12,040 Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. H