1 00:00:01,600 --> 00:00:02,840 Speaker 1: Every day a week ago. 2 00:00:04,080 --> 00:00:04,960 Speaker 2: The Breakfast Club. 3 00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:08,920 Speaker 3: You don't finished the y'all done morning. Everybody is DJ 4 00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:11,840 Speaker 3: n V, Jesse hilarious, Charlamagne the guy. We are to 5 00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:14,040 Speaker 3: breakfast Club long. The rules is here with us as well. 6 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:17,040 Speaker 3: We got a special guest in the building, indeed, Tim Shriver, 7 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:17,800 Speaker 3: Welcome guy. 8 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:21,439 Speaker 1: You nice to be here. I appreciate you'all having. 9 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:23,640 Speaker 4: Me tell them a little bit about who Tim Shriver 10 00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:26,520 Speaker 4: is before we get started about why you're hear well. 11 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:28,800 Speaker 1: I grew up in a big family, a lot of politicians. 12 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,840 Speaker 1: I started my career teaching. I spent fifteen years teaching 13 00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:36,520 Speaker 1: in the New Haven Public schools. UH created a field 14 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:41,160 Speaker 1: called social and Emotional learning, looking at the mental health 15 00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:43,600 Speaker 1: issues and the challenges a lot of kids face across 16 00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:47,600 Speaker 1: all income, race, gender, all that kind of stuff, and 17 00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:50,960 Speaker 1: spent the last twenty five years in Special Olympics working 18 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:54,720 Speaker 1: on disability, healing the gap between people who do and 19 00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:57,440 Speaker 1: don't have intellectual developmental disabilities. In the last couple of years, 20 00:00:57,440 --> 00:00:59,320 Speaker 1: I've been trying to figure out there's a way to 21 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:02,600 Speaker 1: heal the gaps in our country. You're a chairman, yes, sir. 22 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:04,200 Speaker 2: Yes, yes, and Tim. 23 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:08,160 Speaker 4: Tim has created a survey thatttracts how we're treating each 24 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:11,560 Speaker 4: other in America called the Dignity Barometer. 25 00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:15,480 Speaker 1: Dignity Barometer, what is that? So the question you know, 26 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:17,880 Speaker 1: sear we've been asking, I think the country has been asking, 27 00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:20,200 Speaker 1: is what's tearing us apart so badly? Why are we 28 00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:23,640 Speaker 1: so angry? Why are we so anxious? Why are mental 29 00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:26,920 Speaker 1: health problems growing? Why can't we talk about issues? Why 30 00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:30,720 Speaker 1: can't we solve problems? Our view is that we sometimes 31 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:35,240 Speaker 1: I diagnose the problem as we differ, come from different backgrounds. 32 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:38,119 Speaker 1: We don't think it's differences that are the problems. We 33 00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:40,160 Speaker 1: think it's how we treat each other when we differ, 34 00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:43,240 Speaker 1: which is a whole different set of questions. So we 35 00:01:43,319 --> 00:01:46,720 Speaker 1: decided to measure how do Americans think about how they're 36 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:49,640 Speaker 1: treating one another? Uh, And that's the this is why 37 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:52,120 Speaker 1: we've we launched this. This is called the Dignity Barometer. 38 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,920 Speaker 1: And we think at the heart of figuring out how 39 00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:58,000 Speaker 1: we get more justice, more joy, more progress as a 40 00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:01,080 Speaker 1: country is figuring out what to treat each other better. 41 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,640 Speaker 1: And that's what the survey tells us. 42 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:06,080 Speaker 4: This survey said that ninety four percent of Americans believe 43 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:09,519 Speaker 4: that all people deserve to be treated with dignity. 44 00:02:09,639 --> 00:02:11,839 Speaker 1: So what can you do You believe. 45 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:14,520 Speaker 4: That I'm not gonna lie the same high But who's 46 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:15,520 Speaker 4: gonna lie about that? 47 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:17,840 Speaker 1: No? I know, but I mean it's it is. We 48 00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:20,760 Speaker 1: were hoping we would get like fifty five percent would 49 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:23,040 Speaker 1: say yes, because I was worried when we asked that 50 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:25,840 Speaker 1: question was going to be like forty or thirty percent. No, 51 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:27,760 Speaker 1: I don't think those people should be I don't think 52 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:30,640 Speaker 1: you know, Republicans or Democrats. I don't think people that 53 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:33,080 Speaker 1: come from New York, or people that come from Missus whatever. 54 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:34,639 Speaker 1: You know. I thought we were gonna get a lot 55 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:38,240 Speaker 1: ninety four percent. Well, yeah, that's an aspirational goal for 56 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:40,920 Speaker 1: us as a country. And and and what's equally interesting 57 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:43,720 Speaker 1: I think in the barometer is that they say this 58 00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:47,200 Speaker 1: is just as important, almost as important as the economy. 59 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:51,520 Speaker 1: People say, I think the number is eighty eighty six 60 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:55,519 Speaker 1: percent say the cost of living is the most important issue. 61 00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:59,560 Speaker 1: The next one is eighty three percent, say, you know, 62 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:03,639 Speaker 1: talks the toxic culture is the next most important issue. 63 00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:06,200 Speaker 1: So it's a kitchen table We call it a kitchen 64 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,520 Speaker 1: table issue. When you're talking about the price of eggs, 65 00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:11,040 Speaker 1: when you're talking about can you walk on a safe street? 66 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:14,240 Speaker 1: You're also talking about do you trust your fellow Americans? 67 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:16,880 Speaker 1: That's important to people, and they see it as a crisis. 68 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:18,400 Speaker 4: So what does that tell you about society when you 69 00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:20,760 Speaker 4: see ninety four percent of Americans believe that people deserve 70 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:21,960 Speaker 4: to be treated with dignity? 71 00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:23,400 Speaker 2: Like, what does that tell you society wants? 72 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:26,240 Speaker 1: It tells me that people are hungry for leadership to 73 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:29,519 Speaker 1: show them how to do that. They will great rate. 74 00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:33,960 Speaker 1: They rate the problem is coming from politics and the media, honestly, 75 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:36,920 Speaker 1: but they also realize they're not living up to their 76 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:40,320 Speaker 1: own aspirations. This is what was surprising. More than half 77 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:43,040 Speaker 1: of Americans say, we're not doing this. You know, we 78 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:45,720 Speaker 1: want this, but we're not doing it. So it's a 79 00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:48,840 Speaker 1: little bit like we're naming the problem as politics, you know, 80 00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:51,480 Speaker 1: the algorithm and all that stuff, which is, you know, 81 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:56,320 Speaker 1: really problematic, But we're also naming a problem that we 82 00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:58,720 Speaker 1: can each be a part of solving. I said, you 83 00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:00,400 Speaker 1: know the other day, just came out of our mouth. 84 00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:03,240 Speaker 1: Not most of us can't solve the war in Iran, 85 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:07,280 Speaker 1: but we can solve the war at home. We can. 86 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:10,240 Speaker 1: That's it within our power. We don't have to wait 87 00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:15,080 Speaker 1: for the president, a senator, a governor, mayor police chief, 88 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:17,440 Speaker 1: superintendent of schools. We don't have to wait. I mean, 89 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:19,880 Speaker 1: if we had leadership from those people, it would be great, 90 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:23,720 Speaker 1: and we do have in some spots. But we can 91 00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:25,719 Speaker 1: we can, we can heal. This is you know, you've 92 00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:29,479 Speaker 1: you've been talking for years now, Charlotte about mental health 93 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:32,880 Speaker 1: and about the urgency of facing mental health issues. How 94 00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:37,800 Speaker 1: do we build mental wealth you find and you feel 95 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:41,960 Speaker 1: like you're treated with dignity? Absolutely, That's that's where it starts. 96 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:44,520 Speaker 1: When your dignity is violated, how can you be healthy? 97 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:49,120 Speaker 1: How how can you not resort to hostility and anger 98 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:52,440 Speaker 1: and violence. Our goal is to help people figure out 99 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:55,080 Speaker 1: how to find their own dignity and treat others with dignity. 100 00:04:55,279 --> 00:04:57,680 Speaker 1: I think that would go a long way towards helping 101 00:04:57,760 --> 00:04:58,720 Speaker 1: us get out of the mess we're in. 102 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:01,680 Speaker 5: I've seen you say people who use this index like 103 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:04,960 Speaker 5: in politics, it won't like censor like government, right, But 104 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:06,800 Speaker 5: how do you not censor? Like looking at the people 105 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:09,120 Speaker 5: who lead our government in certain administrations or whatever, how 106 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:11,760 Speaker 5: do you not censor but also tell them to treat 107 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:13,800 Speaker 5: other people with dignity when a lot of what they're 108 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:16,360 Speaker 5: saying and doing is the opposite of treating people with dignity. 109 00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:18,560 Speaker 1: Well, we're just trying to Like. What I like to 110 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:21,800 Speaker 1: say is there's a new issue. So we might differ 111 00:05:21,839 --> 00:05:24,080 Speaker 1: on what we should do in climate change, right, you 112 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:27,479 Speaker 1: and I, But we can discuss it, and you can say, well, 113 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:29,880 Speaker 1: on this moment, we should have done this, or we 114 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:34,800 Speaker 1: should be funding more for schools or whatever on this issue, 115 00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:38,640 Speaker 1: we should have discussions. Is it appropriate for the mayor, 116 00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:41,960 Speaker 1: the governor, the president, the senator to speak this way? 117 00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:45,080 Speaker 1: How do you defend using this much contempt? Mister mayor, 118 00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:49,640 Speaker 1: mister madam senator, you know, madam governor, whatever it is. 119 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:52,120 Speaker 4: I like the second part of that. I don't like 120 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:54,760 Speaker 4: the first part because the first part is asking an answer. 121 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:57,360 Speaker 2: We know that is the way that they should be 122 00:05:57,400 --> 00:06:00,240 Speaker 2: conducting themselves. So I think the second part, how do 123 00:06:00,279 --> 00:06:01,480 Speaker 2: you do? How do you continue? 124 00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:01,640 Speaker 6: Like? 125 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:02,120 Speaker 2: What did you say? 126 00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:04,960 Speaker 1: Well, what I'm saying is, here's the thing, shark. Most 127 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:09,120 Speaker 1: people don't see their own contempt. Do you see the 128 00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:10,880 Speaker 1: contempt in other people, but you don't see it in 129 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:17,600 Speaker 1: your Like this woman said to me, I hate hateful people. Yeah, 130 00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:19,640 Speaker 1: but she didn't see it. She didn't see that she 131 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:21,440 Speaker 1: had been That's right. 132 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:22,920 Speaker 2: I did that last week in my therapist. 133 00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:25,039 Speaker 4: I literally, I literally was talking to my therapist about 134 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:27,440 Speaker 4: somebody that I was saying I hate it, and I 135 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:30,000 Speaker 4: felt so bad because I couldn't believe I had gotten 136 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:33,600 Speaker 4: to that point. Why I felt like I hated this individual, 137 00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:36,880 Speaker 4: But I didn't actually hate them. I hated what they represent. Okay, 138 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:39,360 Speaker 4: The point is like I became what I became, the 139 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:40,520 Speaker 4: energy I didn't like you. 140 00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:43,000 Speaker 1: You we all do that and we we get but 141 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:46,040 Speaker 1: if we started to catch ourselves challenge ourselves. We've seen 142 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:48,800 Speaker 1: this with you know, like with Governor Cox for instance 143 00:06:48,839 --> 00:06:51,200 Speaker 1: in Utah after the Charlie Kirk murder. 144 00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:52,000 Speaker 2: Uh. 145 00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:58,760 Speaker 1: He really tried to treat the accused, perpetrator, the victim, 146 00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:02,960 Speaker 1: his family, the country with a certain degree of dignity. 147 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:07,479 Speaker 1: He tried not to get trapped in the political advice. 148 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:09,800 Speaker 1: The same thing. You know, we've seen in other situations. 149 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:12,240 Speaker 1: We saw this in Mother and Manual Church, you know, 150 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:16,720 Speaker 1: over a decade ago, people trying in the face of violence, 151 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:20,760 Speaker 1: in the face of that kind of contemptuous action, hatred 152 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:25,000 Speaker 1: with a gun, to respond in some way that would 153 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:27,040 Speaker 1: allow us to see there's a way out of hatred. 154 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:29,000 Speaker 1: You don't have to return hatred with hatred. 155 00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:31,760 Speaker 4: If a give to the perpetrators at a crime, I 156 00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:34,080 Speaker 4: often wonder about that. Often I wonder if that is 157 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:36,280 Speaker 4: a real emotion or are they just doing that because 158 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:37,760 Speaker 4: they feel like that's what they need to do. 159 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:41,480 Speaker 1: Well, I think in your heart, you know, we all 160 00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:45,160 Speaker 1: know the difference. We lie sometimes when we say what 161 00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:48,000 Speaker 1: we think people want to hear. But I think there's 162 00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:51,120 Speaker 1: also real evidence that many people have been able to 163 00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:54,240 Speaker 1: transform hate and turn it. You know, like doctor King said, 164 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:57,800 Speaker 1: you know, the only thing that will, you know, defeat 165 00:07:57,840 --> 00:08:01,600 Speaker 1: hate is love. And I think people understand at some 166 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:05,040 Speaker 1: level within themselves when they can find that it's not 167 00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:08,440 Speaker 1: easy in the face of somebody treating you with contempt 168 00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:13,640 Speaker 1: to return that contempt with with your principles, but without hatred. 169 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:17,320 Speaker 1: I mean, our point here is don't don't dim your principles, 170 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:20,760 Speaker 1: you know, don't don't don't be a centrist on everything. 171 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:23,960 Speaker 1: Don't become you know like that. That's not the point 172 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,520 Speaker 1: of dignity. The point of dignity is to fight for 173 00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:30,320 Speaker 1: your principles. We say, add one when you're fighting for 174 00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:33,280 Speaker 1: your principles. Treat the person on the other side with dignity, 175 00:08:33,559 --> 00:08:35,880 Speaker 1: and you will actually make a much better case for 176 00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:40,520 Speaker 1: your principles when you don't treat the other person with contempt, 177 00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:45,360 Speaker 1: when you treat them with dignity, but challenge fiercely, strongly, passionately, 178 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:50,640 Speaker 1: their programs, their plans, there the outcomes of their behavior. 179 00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:52,720 Speaker 1: Like you said, you were so angry at what the 180 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:56,000 Speaker 1: person was doing, that doesn't have to be the same 181 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:59,600 Speaker 1: thing as being angry at the person. Uh, there's there's 182 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:03,480 Speaker 1: that kind and a sensitive separation. I think we can make. 183 00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:06,280 Speaker 1: And this is what the poll is telling us. People want. 184 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,040 Speaker 1: You know, when we said why should we bother treating 185 00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:11,200 Speaker 1: each other with dignity? You know what they said, kids 186 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:14,960 Speaker 1: are watching. Our children are watching. Wow, our children are 187 00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:17,080 Speaker 1: watching you look at the mental health crisis and kids. 188 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:21,840 Speaker 1: If I'm fifteen, sixteen years old today and I see 189 00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:24,600 Speaker 1: a country I don't trust, I see institutions I don't trust, 190 00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:28,720 Speaker 1: I see people who threaten me. I see a future 191 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:31,680 Speaker 1: I can't understand. I see a job market I can't 192 00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:36,280 Speaker 1: plan for. Why wouldn't I be Why wouldn't I have 193 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:39,439 Speaker 1: a mental health crisis? We have to reverse this because 194 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:42,920 Speaker 1: our kids are watching. They want to see something they 195 00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:47,160 Speaker 1: can believe in. Every child does, and if we keep 196 00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:49,440 Speaker 1: showing them nothing but hatred and contempt for each other, 197 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:52,840 Speaker 1: we're going to see these numbers get even worse. They're 198 00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:54,000 Speaker 1: bad enough right now. 199 00:09:54,559 --> 00:09:58,240 Speaker 4: And some other data that the Dignity Baramada showed with 200 00:09:58,280 --> 00:10:00,840 Speaker 4: thirty one percent of people say we actually treat people 201 00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:01,760 Speaker 4: with dignity. 202 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:02,760 Speaker 2: What'd you think of that number? 203 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:07,040 Speaker 1: I think it's honest. That seemed very low. It's low, 204 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:09,600 Speaker 1: but it's true. I mean, if I sit in a room, 205 00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:12,400 Speaker 1: it doesn't matter whether the room is super conservative or 206 00:10:12,559 --> 00:10:17,560 Speaker 1: super progressive. And I ask people, last time you talk politics, 207 00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:19,640 Speaker 1: I give them the dignity index, and I show them 208 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:22,440 Speaker 1: here's a one. A one is violence and hatred, A 209 00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:27,360 Speaker 1: two is hatred, A three is disdain, you know, and 210 00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:29,480 Speaker 1: a four is just I'm superior to you. So those 211 00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:36,000 Speaker 1: are the scores hatred, disdain, violence, and superiority. I say, 212 00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:39,240 Speaker 1: when you last talk politics, how would you score yourself 213 00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:44,480 Speaker 1: were you? Did you use violent rhetoric, hateful rhetoric, disdainful rhetoric, 214 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:48,680 Speaker 1: or just superiority. Most people score themselves a two, which 215 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:52,600 Speaker 1: is hateful. When I speak when last time you talk 216 00:10:52,679 --> 00:10:55,480 Speaker 1: to your friends, you were sitting around talking about what 217 00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:58,200 Speaker 1: whoever was Trump or Schumer or whoever you know, the 218 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:02,679 Speaker 1: mayor whatever, what what kind of language? Most people rate themselves, 219 00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:07,079 Speaker 1: They don't rate other They rate themselves a two or 220 00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:10,000 Speaker 1: three at the bottom, towards the bottom of the scale. 221 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:12,960 Speaker 1: So this number in the barometer backs that up. We 222 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:15,880 Speaker 1: don't realize we are being as hateful as the people 223 00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:21,040 Speaker 1: we're attacking. But when you ask people, I think they're 224 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:23,559 Speaker 1: pretty honest. Only thirty percent of us, thirty plus percent 225 00:11:23,559 --> 00:11:26,040 Speaker 1: of us, think we treat each other other people with dignity. 226 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:27,679 Speaker 2: Shouldn't we hate the current system? 227 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:28,160 Speaker 1: Yeah? 228 00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:30,120 Speaker 2: Or shouldn't we hate what's going on in this country 229 00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:30,480 Speaker 2: right now? 230 00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:33,880 Speaker 1: Can you hate the system or the program or the 231 00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:37,160 Speaker 1: policy without hating the person? This is a question. 232 00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:39,440 Speaker 2: Not right now? 233 00:11:39,679 --> 00:11:42,839 Speaker 7: Yeah, you know, especially when you have outspoken, like we 234 00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:46,400 Speaker 7: hear things from a person every day almost you know 235 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:49,959 Speaker 7: what I'm saying, hateful things, Yeah, about other people, other 236 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:52,360 Speaker 7: groups of people. You know what I'm saying, people are 237 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:54,440 Speaker 7: not treating being treated humanely. 238 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:54,880 Speaker 1: Yeah. 239 00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:57,600 Speaker 4: I think it's actually it's crazy the time that I 240 00:11:57,640 --> 00:12:00,360 Speaker 4: never thought about it. But I've also never thought about 241 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:04,400 Speaker 4: hating a particular politician are elected official. I think for 242 00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:07,840 Speaker 4: some reason, it's easier to hate the system and the 243 00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:11,720 Speaker 4: ideas of politicians than it is to hate the actual. 244 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:15,040 Speaker 1: Well, that's pretty sophisticated, honestly, that's I would I want 245 00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:18,240 Speaker 1: to sound like silly, but that's advanced to be able 246 00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:21,480 Speaker 1: to say I hate the way we allocate money for schools, 247 00:12:21,559 --> 00:12:24,400 Speaker 1: or I hate the way we allocate money for law enforcement, 248 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:26,520 Speaker 1: I hate the way we allocate money for public works, 249 00:12:26,559 --> 00:12:29,000 Speaker 1: or I hate the way we spend money on defense, 250 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:30,680 Speaker 1: or I hate the way we don't spend whatever it is. 251 00:12:31,679 --> 00:12:34,160 Speaker 1: That's most people just say I hate Trump or I 252 00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:37,920 Speaker 1: hate Biden. But you know, if all you do is 253 00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:40,680 Speaker 1: hate Trump or hate Biden, you make an enemy for 254 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,240 Speaker 1: whatever your ideas are from everybody who loves Trump or 255 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:44,000 Speaker 1: who loves Biden. 256 00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:46,440 Speaker 2: So you know, doesn't that matter at a time like this. 257 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:50,160 Speaker 1: Do we want to change them? I mean we I'm 258 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:52,800 Speaker 1: guessing most of your listeners, if not every single one, 259 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:56,520 Speaker 1: would prefer a different president. So that means you got 260 00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:58,000 Speaker 1: to get fifty one percent of the vote for a 261 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:01,439 Speaker 1: different type of leader. Do we want to convince the people? 262 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:04,200 Speaker 1: I mean, we have people in this country, a lot 263 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:06,640 Speaker 1: of them who voted for Barack Obama and Donald Trump. 264 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:10,840 Speaker 1: Do you want to convince them to vote for a 265 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:13,800 Speaker 1: more progressive candidate. I don't think it's going to be 266 00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:16,880 Speaker 1: effective to if one wants to convince them to vote 267 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,680 Speaker 1: for a more progressive candidate, to say how much you 268 00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:23,840 Speaker 1: hate the candidate they voted for. That just creates tribal defensiveness. 269 00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:26,480 Speaker 1: If I say I hate people that work in this studio, 270 00:13:26,559 --> 00:13:29,320 Speaker 1: I hate everybody that works for you, Shark, all I 271 00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:31,680 Speaker 1: do is make an enemy. If I say this one 272 00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:34,960 Speaker 1: person has behaved in a way or something they said 273 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:38,280 Speaker 1: on the show yesterday or last week was really troubling 274 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:39,800 Speaker 1: to me, then I have at least a shot of 275 00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:42,840 Speaker 1: winning you over because I'm actually engaging in a conversation 276 00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:45,640 Speaker 1: that I think you might be open to listening to me. 277 00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:49,200 Speaker 4: What if I say I hate this system that has 278 00:13:49,679 --> 00:13:52,760 Speaker 4: put us in the current condition where people you know, 279 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:56,679 Speaker 4: can't afford just to make ends me can't afford, which. 280 00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:59,240 Speaker 1: I would just say, tell me what part like, Tell 281 00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:01,920 Speaker 1: me something that we can fix. Tell me something we 282 00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:05,319 Speaker 1: can fix. Can we fix healthcare? I mean it's complicated. 283 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:07,920 Speaker 1: I'm sure maybe there's great ideas about it. Can we 284 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:11,640 Speaker 1: fix uh aff? Can we create housing? 285 00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:12,000 Speaker 2: Yeah? 286 00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:14,320 Speaker 1: So what's the solution there? I mean, I think to 287 00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:17,640 Speaker 1: have a conversation about that. Do I hate the mayor 288 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:20,320 Speaker 1: because we don't have affordable housing? I mean I don't 289 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:20,880 Speaker 1: think it helps. 290 00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:22,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I don't hate. 291 00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:24,040 Speaker 4: I don't hate the one I can't hate the one 292 00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:27,240 Speaker 4: individual because I know it's bigger than that one individual, right, right. 293 00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:30,760 Speaker 1: But that's like I said that that that's why, honestly, 294 00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:33,360 Speaker 1: that's why you you're able to bring so many people 295 00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:36,560 Speaker 1: into the conversation, because I think you're able to sort 296 00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:39,840 Speaker 1: parts of the country or parts of the system, or 297 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:44,600 Speaker 1: parts of policies that you find, you know, injust or 298 00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:49,960 Speaker 1: or unacceptable, from hating individual people. And I think that's 299 00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:52,200 Speaker 1: that's what the country is not doing well right now. 300 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:56,080 Speaker 7: I think, how do you think the TSA workers feel 301 00:14:56,240 --> 00:15:00,640 Speaker 7: at airports? They say, do you think they should hate 302 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:02,720 Speaker 7: the system or hate the man that they hear, the 303 00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:07,440 Speaker 7: president that they hear every day saying like pretty much 304 00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:10,240 Speaker 7: she doesn't care about them, not getting about them not 305 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:12,960 Speaker 7: getting paid. In fact, he's gonna send ice, Well, he 306 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:17,040 Speaker 7: is paying to go to the airport to help CSA 307 00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:20,480 Speaker 7: workers who are still expected to show up without getting paid, Like, 308 00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:24,280 Speaker 7: do you expect them to hate the systems? Or can 309 00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:26,440 Speaker 7: they hate the man in charge? 310 00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:27,920 Speaker 2: Because they definitely hate not getting paid. 311 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,120 Speaker 1: I mean, here's the thing. When I was a kid, 312 00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:32,760 Speaker 1: I don't know a bet you all at your dinner table, 313 00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:34,960 Speaker 1: but my mother used to say, you're not allowed to 314 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:38,080 Speaker 1: use the word hate. I don't know if anybody else 315 00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:40,360 Speaker 1: had that, but my mother said, you can call people 316 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,120 Speaker 1: like she I don't know. She came up with the 317 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:44,560 Speaker 1: name elephant ears. You can call someone elephant ears, but 318 00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:48,040 Speaker 1: you can't say you hate them. That's a dirty word. 319 00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:49,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, in my house too as well. 320 00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:50,320 Speaker 7: Grown up. 321 00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:53,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, so you heard the same thing. A lot 322 00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:55,560 Speaker 1: of moms, a lot of our moms and grandmoms and 323 00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:59,160 Speaker 1: dads and stuff gave that message. I don't think. I 324 00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:02,760 Speaker 1: don't think that message was misguided. I think there are moments, 325 00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:06,000 Speaker 1: you know, I wouldn't tell you to listen to somebody 326 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,720 Speaker 1: who walks in here with a gun and starts shooting. 327 00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:10,120 Speaker 1: It's not a good time for dignity. It's a time 328 00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:13,400 Speaker 1: for safety. It's a time for emergency response. It's a 329 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:16,200 Speaker 1: time for protection. It's the time for maybe even retaliation 330 00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:19,400 Speaker 1: if you can, if you can defend yourself. So the 331 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:22,160 Speaker 1: goal of this dignity conversation is not to say there's 332 00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:26,040 Speaker 1: an absolute right and wrong in the way you treat 333 00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:28,240 Speaker 1: each other. The goal is to say that when we 334 00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:32,640 Speaker 1: see our own contempt, we almost always want to change 335 00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:34,960 Speaker 1: it all. We want to do better. We want to 336 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:37,120 Speaker 1: do a little better, Like we don't want to be 337 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:40,320 Speaker 1: hateful people. Most people don't want that. They may feel it, 338 00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:44,600 Speaker 1: but they would rather be able to transform the situation. 339 00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:48,680 Speaker 1: The tsa worker you described, I think they'd rather figure 340 00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:50,880 Speaker 1: out what, why the heck does the system not? Why 341 00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:53,080 Speaker 1: can't we get paid? Why can't they pass a bill 342 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:57,040 Speaker 1: at the you know, why can't they? Republicans and Democrats agree, 343 00:16:57,080 --> 00:17:00,200 Speaker 1: and I tell you the primary reason they don't agree 344 00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:03,600 Speaker 1: is because they're so contemptuous of each other, because they 345 00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:06,520 Speaker 1: hate each other, and they're using their hatred of each 346 00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:09,439 Speaker 1: other to advance their own political agendas. I'm sorry to 347 00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:11,919 Speaker 1: say I think that's true. I grew up in politics. 348 00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:15,640 Speaker 1: I had senators, presidents of the United States, and my family. 349 00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:20,560 Speaker 1: But today politicians, many of them are motivated as much 350 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:23,520 Speaker 1: by using issues for political advantage as they are for 351 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:28,239 Speaker 1: solving problems. You can hate the system, or you can 352 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:31,800 Speaker 1: say to your senator or your congressman, I want solutions. 353 00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:33,439 Speaker 1: I don't want to hear how much you hate the 354 00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:34,840 Speaker 1: other side. I want to hear how you're going to 355 00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:35,600 Speaker 1: solve this problem. 356 00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:38,640 Speaker 3: In certain instance, I do believe that you can hate somebody, 357 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:42,280 Speaker 3: and I feel like, in my opinion, it'll be okay, right, 358 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:43,680 Speaker 3: So I'll explain. 359 00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:44,960 Speaker 2: It like this in certain cases. 360 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, you could dislike their policy, right, you could dislike 361 00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:51,479 Speaker 3: the things that they're doing. But if somebody comes into 362 00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:54,040 Speaker 3: my house and kills my family, I'm gonna. 363 00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:54,680 Speaker 2: Hate that individual. 364 00:17:55,840 --> 00:18:00,000 Speaker 3: And I'm not on a healing journey to the point 365 00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:01,480 Speaker 3: where I say, well, you know what, I'm going to 366 00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:03,080 Speaker 3: turn my other cheek or I'm going. 367 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,640 Speaker 2: To forgive them. 368 00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:06,680 Speaker 3: I don't think so, you know, and I see people 369 00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:08,320 Speaker 3: do it all the time. I think majority it is 370 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:09,560 Speaker 3: bull crap. 371 00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:13,240 Speaker 2: Part of my friend biblical teachers, I think it's bull. 372 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:14,879 Speaker 3: Crap in my opinion, And I also do think and 373 00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:17,040 Speaker 3: some of it is they do that because they feel 374 00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:19,400 Speaker 3: like that's what they should do, But now do they 375 00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:22,400 Speaker 3: believe it in their heart? I kind of find it 376 00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:25,080 Speaker 3: hard to believe when you just took my whole family out, 377 00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:27,600 Speaker 3: or you just did something to my child, or you 378 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:30,280 Speaker 3: just did something to my mother or father, or you know, 379 00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:31,840 Speaker 3: when you see people in the church and somebody will 380 00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:33,120 Speaker 3: come in to church and just shoot the. 381 00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:33,840 Speaker 2: Whole church up. 382 00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:36,840 Speaker 3: It's difficult to believe that because I feel like it 383 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:39,400 Speaker 3: allows you to open that up for something like that 384 00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:39,800 Speaker 3: to happen. 385 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:40,159 Speaker 2: Again. 386 00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:43,000 Speaker 3: Just my opinion when it comes to quote unquote hate. Now, 387 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:44,960 Speaker 3: when things with politics and things like that, yeah, I 388 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:48,720 Speaker 3: feel like people dislike policies. But if you're a hateful 389 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:53,560 Speaker 3: person and a nasty person, in my opinion, me saying 390 00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:56,199 Speaker 3: I hate that person, it's not the same as a 391 00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:58,760 Speaker 3: person doing evil things. You just don't like the fact 392 00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:00,560 Speaker 3: that person is doing an evil job. 393 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, I can hate the devil. 394 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,040 Speaker 3: Is that mad saying I hate the devil? 395 00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:04,159 Speaker 1: You know? 396 00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:06,480 Speaker 3: I mean it's so I feel like when it comes 397 00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:09,199 Speaker 3: to that type of it's certain things it's like you 398 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:12,520 Speaker 3: can't experience. I can't give everybody grace in my opinion, 399 00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:14,040 Speaker 3: I'm not there yet, but you kill my family, I 400 00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:14,600 Speaker 3: can't give you grace. 401 00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:15,560 Speaker 2: I'm sorry. 402 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,480 Speaker 3: I'll highlight the big man when I get there, But 403 00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:18,080 Speaker 3: I just can't. 404 00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:22,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, I hear you. I don't think it's always a fake. 405 00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:24,359 Speaker 1: I don't think that's true. 406 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:26,359 Speaker 3: I just say all the time, I think sometimes I 407 00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:27,160 Speaker 3: do feel that way. 408 00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:30,320 Speaker 1: I think sometimes people aspire to be forgiving, even though 409 00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:32,600 Speaker 1: in their hearts they aren't yet, and so they say 410 00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:36,679 Speaker 1: they are, maybe in hopes of becoming what they the 411 00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:40,600 Speaker 1: words they use. Sometimes people just lie and say I'm forgiving, 412 00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:43,360 Speaker 1: and their harbor hatred and they don't care about the lie. 413 00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:45,280 Speaker 1: But I think a lot of times people do move. 414 00:19:45,359 --> 00:19:47,080 Speaker 1: I mean, I've seen in my own family, my own family, 415 00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:50,240 Speaker 1: we've had victory, you know, we've violence has taken people 416 00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:51,520 Speaker 1: from my family. 417 00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:55,640 Speaker 2: You know, this is can I say, hear your uncle? Yeah, sure, 418 00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:57,320 Speaker 2: John Kennedy, of course Kennedy. 419 00:19:57,400 --> 00:20:01,520 Speaker 1: So I grew up in a situuation where violence robbed 420 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:09,639 Speaker 1: us as children, of safety, of the health of our parents, 421 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:17,080 Speaker 1: of people we loved. And I've seen people struggle with 422 00:20:17,119 --> 00:20:20,720 Speaker 1: that their whole life, you know. And I've seen people 423 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:23,119 Speaker 1: try to really hard to forgive so that they would 424 00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:26,560 Speaker 1: be able to get the devil out from inside them. 425 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:32,000 Speaker 1: The anger, the hostility, the vitriol, the pain could be 426 00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:36,160 Speaker 1: eased through the act of forgiveness. So sometimes maybe it's 427 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:40,240 Speaker 1: not even selfish, it's not even selfless, it's selfish to forgive, 428 00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:45,720 Speaker 1: because that's where healing I think happens. But here's the thing, 429 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:50,840 Speaker 1: this is a conversation the country needs to be trying 430 00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:53,320 Speaker 1: to have. I'm not here to tell you like I'm 431 00:20:53,359 --> 00:20:55,680 Speaker 1: not a preacher. I'm not here to say this is 432 00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:59,840 Speaker 1: the commandment. I'm here. I'm here to say I think 433 00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:03,880 Speaker 1: seeing a new issue in the country and asking ourselves 434 00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:07,400 Speaker 1: how we treat each other as an issue, I mean, 435 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:10,960 Speaker 1: what is you know, this is a conversation that has 436 00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:14,280 Speaker 1: focused in many, many different moments in time on issues 437 00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:17,080 Speaker 1: of race and culture and these kinds of things. What 438 00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:23,639 Speaker 1: is racism if not institutionalized hatred for sure? Okay, So 439 00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:32,200 Speaker 1: it's an institutionalization of the humiliation and demeaning and hatred 440 00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:35,080 Speaker 1: of a group of people. So, you know, if we 441 00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:38,200 Speaker 1: want to end it, we have to end hatred because 442 00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:41,399 Speaker 1: at the surface, at the heart of it is hatred 443 00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:46,280 Speaker 1: is a sense of superiority, is a sense of disdain 444 00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:48,960 Speaker 1: for people that come from a different certain background or 445 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:52,159 Speaker 1: certain skin color. As crazy as it is, that's what 446 00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:56,879 Speaker 1: we's that's the reality. So I just want to I 447 00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:58,920 Speaker 1: want to talk systems. I want to talk house, I 448 00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:01,320 Speaker 1: want to talk healthcare, I want to talk education. That's 449 00:22:01,359 --> 00:22:03,639 Speaker 1: my background. I want to talk all those things. I 450 00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:07,239 Speaker 1: also want to talk about this as a country. And 451 00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:08,280 Speaker 1: that's what the Baromra says. 452 00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:09,560 Speaker 3: So where does the hate? 453 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:12,320 Speaker 2: How do we stop hate? Right? 454 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:15,200 Speaker 3: Especially in really good question now, I feel like our 455 00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:17,800 Speaker 3: community has seen probably one of the worst hate right. 456 00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:18,919 Speaker 2: I can tell you from my. 457 00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:22,080 Speaker 3: Dad serving in Vietnam, him and the troops coming, you know, 458 00:22:22,119 --> 00:22:24,640 Speaker 3: going to a restaurant, the white troops going to a restaurant, he. 459 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:25,400 Speaker 2: Has to sit outside. 460 00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:28,600 Speaker 3: Right, that's hate from built up. He will never forget that. 461 00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:31,080 Speaker 3: He talks about that all the time. You know, how 462 00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:33,760 Speaker 3: he feels towards people because those are the same people 463 00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:35,960 Speaker 3: he fought for this country for and it looked at 464 00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:37,879 Speaker 3: him differently when he got off that barret, you know 465 00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:40,280 Speaker 3: what I mean. So it's like that's embedded in his 466 00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:43,160 Speaker 3: life and how he feels. So he always looks at 467 00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:46,120 Speaker 3: white people like that because he remembers that. He remembers 468 00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:48,240 Speaker 3: taking a bus and sit in the back. He remembers 469 00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:50,480 Speaker 3: being a bus driving him, throwing things at him. He 470 00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:53,720 Speaker 3: remember those things, so that hate is embedded because those 471 00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:56,560 Speaker 3: people hated him. 472 00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:59,439 Speaker 1: I h you know, as a country or as a 473 00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:02,439 Speaker 1: person who's who's who believes in this country. It breaks 474 00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:07,439 Speaker 1: my heart. I know it's true that happened, and it happens, right, 475 00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:10,280 Speaker 1: It's not just what your dad experience. You know, I 476 00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:12,600 Speaker 1: don't have to say it on this show. That kind 477 00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:18,119 Speaker 1: of behavior still happened, and it's a it's a stain 478 00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:22,000 Speaker 1: on our country, and it's a stain on me as 479 00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:26,960 Speaker 1: a as a white man. And I you know, I'll 480 00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:28,679 Speaker 1: come back to the question you asked, which is how 481 00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:31,240 Speaker 1: do we how do we end at And you know, 482 00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:33,159 Speaker 1: there's a lot of theories on how you end hatred. 483 00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:34,960 Speaker 1: One of them is you kill people who are hateful, 484 00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:40,640 Speaker 1: that's war. One of them is you canceled, destroy, demean, 485 00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:46,040 Speaker 1: humiliate people who are hateful. That's prison, or cancel culture. 486 00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:49,119 Speaker 1: And you know those things, you know, like fra All 487 00:23:49,119 --> 00:23:52,200 Speaker 1: Williams said, after you know, I use a great I 488 00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:54,080 Speaker 1: think it's a great quote from fra All Williams. He 489 00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:56,680 Speaker 1: just said it on a daytime talk show about eight 490 00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:58,800 Speaker 1: years ago. He said, you know, you have to choose 491 00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:02,600 Speaker 1: what side you're on. Mm hmm uh So what side 492 00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:05,560 Speaker 1: of what what? You know? He his his language was, 493 00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:08,359 Speaker 1: I'm gonna choose empathy, I'm going to choose choose inclusion. 494 00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:11,439 Speaker 1: I'm gonna choose love for everybody, just wishing people the 495 00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:17,440 Speaker 1: best as a way of transforming hatred. Uh, I don't 496 00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:19,560 Speaker 1: know that it always works, not maybe not in the 497 00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:23,119 Speaker 1: short term, but in the long term. I think you 498 00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:25,680 Speaker 1: know the thing, you know, like if you're a teacher 499 00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:27,879 Speaker 1: and you go to you're in the playground, you're in 500 00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:29,760 Speaker 1: the cafeteria, and there's a fight going on. You know what, 501 00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:33,520 Speaker 1: everybody says, he started it. Of course he started it. 502 00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:40,040 Speaker 1: And at a certain point like who, I mean, it's 503 00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:43,840 Speaker 1: important who started it? But who's going to stop it? 504 00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:45,080 Speaker 1: Who's going to stop it? 505 00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:46,440 Speaker 2: Who's going to stop it? 506 00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:49,920 Speaker 1: Who's going to stop the behavior that that that damaged 507 00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:53,080 Speaker 1: and demean and humiliated your dad. Who's going to stop it? 508 00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:54,679 Speaker 1: And how are we going to stop it? 509 00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:55,840 Speaker 2: And what's the atonement for it? 510 00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:58,720 Speaker 1: And what's and what's the what's the reconciliation, you know, 511 00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:01,280 Speaker 1: the truth and reconciliation they did in South Africa, what's 512 00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:04,679 Speaker 1: the reconciliation process? What's the you know, uh, you know, 513 00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:08,119 Speaker 1: in schools, we try to get rid of punitive discipline 514 00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:11,880 Speaker 1: and create restorative practices so that people can learn how 515 00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:15,040 Speaker 1: to make amends for things they've done wrong to kids 516 00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:17,800 Speaker 1: at four, six, eight, ten, twelve, fourteen, sixteen years old 517 00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:21,879 Speaker 1: can learn the process of undoing the pain through making 518 00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:28,400 Speaker 1: some kind of restorative practice, through apology, through rebuilding trust, slowly, slowly, 519 00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:30,760 Speaker 1: trying to start on a new foot. 520 00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:33,320 Speaker 3: But that's a tall order. When everything that you said 521 00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:36,320 Speaker 3: is it feels like it's dialed back, right, you say, well, 522 00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:40,000 Speaker 3: how do we stop it? When in twenty twenty six, 523 00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:44,480 Speaker 3: twenty twenty five, they're pulling books out of schools, which 524 00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:48,959 Speaker 3: is African American legacies. Right, we have all these amazing 525 00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:52,359 Speaker 3: black entrepreneurs in all these different stores, right, and they 526 00:25:52,359 --> 00:25:55,000 Speaker 3: wouldn't be in those stores but they would have to force. 527 00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:56,840 Speaker 3: And those products are selling amazing, so that means it 528 00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:59,480 Speaker 3: was the right, the right thing to do. They pull 529 00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:02,040 Speaker 3: back the Now all those people that were selling taken 530 00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:04,399 Speaker 3: out of the stores. So how do you do that 531 00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:07,560 Speaker 3: when it feels like is dialed back? In twenty twenty six, 532 00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:09,639 Speaker 3: when things are supposed to be getting better and was 533 00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:11,719 Speaker 3: supposed to be moving on in dignity and all that, 534 00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:14,800 Speaker 3: but it seems like every year it gets worse, it 535 00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:17,119 Speaker 3: gets worse, And how do you expect people not to 536 00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:19,120 Speaker 3: hate the system that's making it. 537 00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:23,359 Speaker 1: Worse, don't. I don't think anything that you said there 538 00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:26,720 Speaker 1: is hateful. I think what you said is there's laws 539 00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:31,840 Speaker 1: and rules that are unfair, that are unjust. I mean, 540 00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:34,040 Speaker 1: I happen to agree with you. Somebody else might sittor 541 00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:36,520 Speaker 1: and say I don't agree. I don't like affirmative action, 542 00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:41,000 Speaker 1: you know, or I love affirmative action. I happen to 543 00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:42,640 Speaker 1: agree with you. But I don't think what you said 544 00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:45,520 Speaker 1: was hateful. I think what you said is there's policies 545 00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:51,080 Speaker 1: that are damaging the lives of Americans. Hard working, caring, smart, 546 00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:55,440 Speaker 1: creative Americans are being hurt by policies being enacted by 547 00:26:56,320 --> 00:27:01,400 Speaker 1: this administration. Game one. That's how it Coversation about it 548 00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:05,480 Speaker 1: is DEI gone. I mean maybe in some places people 549 00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:08,280 Speaker 1: are changing their language and stuff like that, but is 550 00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:11,639 Speaker 1: this country no longer committed? I mean, in the special 551 00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:16,560 Speaker 1: Olympics world, we call ourselves the Inclusion Revolution. I that's 552 00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:21,520 Speaker 1: the eye of DEI inclusion revolution. We go all schools 553 00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:25,800 Speaker 1: all over the country trying to help people see that 554 00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:29,640 Speaker 1: this child you thought was hopeless and helpless and a victim, 555 00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:32,600 Speaker 1: and somebody you wanted out of your school, out of 556 00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:35,800 Speaker 1: your classroom, out of your place of business, belongs people 557 00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:38,159 Speaker 1: are still welcoming it. So I think, I think the 558 00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:41,160 Speaker 1: heart of the country is open. I mean, I think 559 00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:43,960 Speaker 1: there's there's a there's a possibility in the future. Maybe 560 00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:46,480 Speaker 1: I'm naive. You know, you might say I'm naive. I've 561 00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:49,159 Speaker 1: been accused of that before, but I think, you know, 562 00:27:50,119 --> 00:27:53,720 Speaker 1: our history tells us that leaders can rise up and 563 00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:56,560 Speaker 1: can change the narrative for us and can bring us 564 00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:59,160 Speaker 1: greater dignity. We've seen this in other countries when there 565 00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:07,040 Speaker 1: have been governments that have appeared totalitarian or if appeared authoritarian, 566 00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:10,879 Speaker 1: and leaders rise up sometimes from the people and they say, no, 567 00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:14,159 Speaker 1: we want a different path, or do we want to 568 00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:18,240 Speaker 1: just retaliate and do revenge because they started it? And 569 00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:21,520 Speaker 1: you know what, they say, the guy before me started it. 570 00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:24,800 Speaker 1: So we're gonna end up in either a revenge cycle 571 00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:28,320 Speaker 1: or a healing cycle. And maybe there's a little bit 572 00:28:28,359 --> 00:28:30,600 Speaker 1: of us in each one. There's a little bit of 573 00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:32,199 Speaker 1: us that wants healing and a little bit of us 574 00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:36,280 Speaker 1: that wants revenge. Okay, game on, let's have that conversation. 575 00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:38,720 Speaker 4: This is anter other conversations because you know, Endy's not wrong, 576 00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:40,400 Speaker 4: You're not wrong either. And you know, like you said 577 00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:42,120 Speaker 4: in light History, I think about like Martin Luther King 578 00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:44,760 Speaker 4: Junior record, there's evidence that what you're talking about his 579 00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:47,400 Speaker 4: work them. Okay, Junior always talked about, you know, the 580 00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:48,400 Speaker 4: power of love, right. 581 00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:49,680 Speaker 2: He talked about how he. 582 00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:51,920 Speaker 4: Decided to stick with love because he knows that love 583 00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:55,400 Speaker 4: is ultimately the only answer to human kind problems, which 584 00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:57,920 Speaker 4: you still had to have a leader like your uncle, 585 00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:01,520 Speaker 4: John F. Kennedy, who who understood that, who felt that, 586 00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:03,760 Speaker 4: who had compassion for what other people were going through. 587 00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:06,560 Speaker 4: So I wonder was that message was that what made 588 00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:08,480 Speaker 4: your uncle move the way he moved. 589 00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:12,440 Speaker 1: I mean, I think so, I think. Look, he grew 590 00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:15,719 Speaker 1: up with a sister who had an intellectual disability. So 591 00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:18,560 Speaker 1: take this. You know, in nineteen twenty, to have an 592 00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:21,000 Speaker 1: intellectual disability met you got put an institution for life, 593 00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:27,120 Speaker 1: locked up, parents told give up your kid, put it 594 00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:30,440 Speaker 1: in his you know, half the time, no clothing. So 595 00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:32,200 Speaker 1: that's what that's what would have happened to his sister. 596 00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:35,200 Speaker 1: But his sister stayed home. My grandparents made the most 597 00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:37,200 Speaker 1: important decision I think of their lives with just to 598 00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:40,880 Speaker 1: keep their child with a disability at home. So that 599 00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:45,160 Speaker 1: young man, John Little John Kennedy grew up with a 600 00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:50,440 Speaker 1: sister of the world hated and he loved, and so 601 00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:52,560 Speaker 1: he knew something was wrong with the world because he 602 00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:55,720 Speaker 1: knew his sister was beautiful and competent and caring and 603 00:29:55,840 --> 00:30:00,120 Speaker 1: funny and playful and socially great, and she couldn't go 604 00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:03,960 Speaker 1: to school. There was no school literally, So. 605 00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:05,680 Speaker 2: He had compassion for marginal lives communities. 606 00:30:06,120 --> 00:30:07,920 Speaker 1: I think I think he learned it at the at 607 00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:10,080 Speaker 1: his own kitchen table, just like a lot of us 608 00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:12,160 Speaker 1: learned it at our own kitchen tables. And so the 609 00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:14,280 Speaker 1: question is, can you know, can we can we create 610 00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:17,080 Speaker 1: a viral movement. That's what doctor King did. He's he 611 00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:20,600 Speaker 1: awakened people to the dignity. I mean, that's what that's 612 00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:22,880 Speaker 1: what the that's what the march was. That's that's what 613 00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:27,200 Speaker 1: the sit in protests were. I'm sitting here because I 614 00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:31,080 Speaker 1: own my own dignity. I'm not getting up from this seat. No, 615 00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:34,760 Speaker 1: Miss Park said, I Am not moving. And all of 616 00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:36,360 Speaker 1: a sudden, you know, not all of a sudden. That's 617 00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:38,360 Speaker 1: that's the wrong way to put it. But over time 618 00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:42,200 Speaker 1: hearts began to soften. If you read that, if you want, 619 00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:45,920 Speaker 1: if you want the best treatise in American history on dignity, 620 00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:49,480 Speaker 1: in my view, just my personal opinion, reread. I know 621 00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:52,520 Speaker 1: everybody's read it, but reread after this conversation the letter 622 00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:54,760 Speaker 1: from a Birmingham City jail. Read the long version. Don't 623 00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:56,960 Speaker 1: read the short version. The people. Sometimes you see it 624 00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:59,560 Speaker 1: on the internet. You get the three paragraphs, not three 625 00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:06,720 Speaker 1: paragraph It's like five thousand words. And he fiercely challenges 626 00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:12,040 Speaker 1: the bigotry and the segregationists and the accommodationists of mostly 627 00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:19,320 Speaker 1: religious leaders, but find in there a hateful word towards 628 00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:23,400 Speaker 1: I was talking to this guy the other day. He 629 00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:27,800 Speaker 1: runs the one of the big museums in Atlanta, and 630 00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:30,959 Speaker 1: his grandfather was one of those white ministers in Birmingham 631 00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:34,040 Speaker 1: who doctor King was writing to in that Birmingham and 632 00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:38,200 Speaker 1: he I haven't dug into this much, but he said, 633 00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:44,280 Speaker 1: you know, that letter changed my grandfather's life. And the 634 00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:46,920 Speaker 1: grandfather is still alive. So I'm guessing a couple of 635 00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:49,280 Speaker 1: those preachers that he was writing to those ministers, he 636 00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:54,040 Speaker 1: was writing to are still living. So I I just 637 00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:56,959 Speaker 1: think that's we got a better shot that way. I 638 00:31:57,040 --> 00:32:00,320 Speaker 1: just wonder if that's not quick, you know, taking somebody 639 00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:01,800 Speaker 1: out is quicker. 640 00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:03,959 Speaker 4: Yeah, I just wonder if that will work with just 641 00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:06,640 Speaker 4: with a regime implementing authoritarian strategy. 642 00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:09,120 Speaker 2: That's all I just wonder. And also I wonder if 643 00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:10,080 Speaker 2: it's even about the regime. 644 00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:12,840 Speaker 4: Maybe it's just about us, maybe us as people, because 645 00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:16,840 Speaker 4: you know, I feel like the greatest you know, political 646 00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:18,920 Speaker 4: institution in this country. 647 00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:19,440 Speaker 2: Is we the people. 648 00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:20,640 Speaker 1: That's it, right, That's right. 649 00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:23,480 Speaker 4: But maybe it starts with us having dignity for each other. 650 00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:25,640 Speaker 4: Maybe we need to be the body that you know 651 00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:26,080 Speaker 4: comes down. 652 00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:28,200 Speaker 1: I mean, that's that's what that's what the data says. 653 00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:29,880 Speaker 1: I mean, in the end of the day, I'm here 654 00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:32,920 Speaker 1: because there's new data, and the data says people want that, 655 00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:35,760 Speaker 1: and we don't have to wait for the president. But 656 00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:40,800 Speaker 1: let's be clear, hateful politicians survive and thrive when they 657 00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:45,080 Speaker 1: tap in to the hate in us on both sides. Now, 658 00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:47,760 Speaker 1: I'm not saying that it's morally equivalent on both sides, 659 00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:51,480 Speaker 1: but I'm saying the tactics are sometimes equivalent. Hatred on 660 00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:54,240 Speaker 1: one side is not necessarily better than hatred on the 661 00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:57,040 Speaker 1: other side, even if the cause might be better on 662 00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:59,560 Speaker 1: one side or the other. So I think people are 663 00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:02,040 Speaker 1: starving to hear a conversation like that. I mean, I'm 664 00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:05,360 Speaker 1: gett I hope people's like, wow, that's interesting. I agree 665 00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:07,400 Speaker 1: with him. No, I don't agree with him. No, maybe 666 00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:09,600 Speaker 1: we should try it there. Maybe we shouldn't try it there. 667 00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:11,800 Speaker 1: Maybe I could have said that differently. That's what kids 668 00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:15,280 Speaker 1: when I present this stuff, invariably kids say, you know what, 669 00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:17,200 Speaker 1: I put a post up. Yes, I'm gonna take it down. 670 00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:23,080 Speaker 1: I attacked. And kids see this, Kids see the attacks, 671 00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:27,160 Speaker 1: the vicious. You know, you're disgusting, you jerk, you're hopeless, 672 00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:30,920 Speaker 1: you're ugly. You know. This is what kids are seeing 673 00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:33,640 Speaker 1: at ten, twelve, fourteen years old. And when they hear 674 00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:37,080 Speaker 1: that there's another way to do this, they almost all 675 00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:39,360 Speaker 1: of them. I'm telling you, it's amazing. I'm talking to 676 00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:42,280 Speaker 1: assemblies five, six, seven oundred kids. They almost always I'm 677 00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:44,040 Speaker 1: going to take a post down I put up yesterday. 678 00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:44,480 Speaker 2: Wow. 679 00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:52,320 Speaker 7: There are actually like the streamers that categorize rage bait, 680 00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:55,320 Speaker 7: it's called rage bait. They do nothing but bait people 681 00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:58,280 Speaker 7: to be angry. They say things they could be not 682 00:33:58,320 --> 00:34:02,000 Speaker 7: just racist things, but just anything to get people riled up. 683 00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:04,600 Speaker 7: Like that's an actual category on this show. 684 00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:07,200 Speaker 1: It's a business that you know, Amanda Ripley calls them 685 00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:12,240 Speaker 1: conflict entrepreneursh oh, I like that, you know, and they're 686 00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:17,000 Speaker 1: just out there trying to get us furious. Yeah, so 687 00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:18,160 Speaker 1: that you go to you you have to go to 688 00:34:18,239 --> 00:34:21,279 Speaker 1: your therapists, Like God, I can't hate this mother. I 689 00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:24,359 Speaker 1: hate this mother. I can't stand it. Because you've been 690 00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:28,560 Speaker 1: more often than not, you've been caught by rage bait. Yeah, 691 00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:32,560 Speaker 1: and you've been. You've been. You've seen the conflict entrepreneurs, 692 00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:35,440 Speaker 1: and you know, sometimes like I said, I had this 693 00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:38,600 Speaker 1: focused group with seventh graders out in eighth graders in 694 00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:41,040 Speaker 1: Des Moines, Iowa's a couple of years ago. I was 695 00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:43,640 Speaker 1: talking about bullying and contempt and what's it like in 696 00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:46,960 Speaker 1: your school. The kids, well young girls, said, you know, 697 00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:48,520 Speaker 1: we don't have much bullying in the school. So I 698 00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:52,399 Speaker 1: asked another questions like when you do, do the teachers care? Yeah, 699 00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:54,840 Speaker 1: the teachers care. I said, well, what about you in 700 00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:57,040 Speaker 1: the peer groups when there's bullies? She says, that's a 701 00:34:57,080 --> 00:34:59,360 Speaker 1: third question you asked me about bullying. I'm telling you 702 00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:02,279 Speaker 1: we do not have have a bullying problem. Says you 703 00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:08,040 Speaker 1: want to find bullies, go look at the adults. Wow, 704 00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:16,160 Speaker 1: in ties and suits and boardrooms and halls of congress. 705 00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:18,520 Speaker 1: That's what she said. She said, When I go home, 706 00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:21,919 Speaker 1: I see my mom watching TV. That's where the bullies are. 707 00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:23,240 Speaker 1: Bullies aren't in my school. 708 00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:24,000 Speaker 2: Oh wow. 709 00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:30,879 Speaker 1: So the kids know that it's us. And again I'm 710 00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:34,040 Speaker 1: not saying this is the absolute you know, right and wrong. 711 00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:37,600 Speaker 1: I'm saying, when you start to see like the map 712 00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:39,840 Speaker 1: in your mind, like you were just describing to me, 713 00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:42,200 Speaker 1: this map in your mind when someone comes in and 714 00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:45,799 Speaker 1: takes the life of your children, your family, and how 715 00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:50,400 Speaker 1: you would move from being a maybe a peaceful or 716 00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:54,080 Speaker 1: they're a happy person, down down down into the descent 717 00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:58,640 Speaker 1: of hatred and venom and retaliation. And that that's a 718 00:35:58,719 --> 00:36:03,319 Speaker 1: map we've all known, and there's a map that lets 719 00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:05,239 Speaker 1: us move up, you know. And the steps we can 720 00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:07,640 Speaker 1: go through, and the healing we can go through, and 721 00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:09,840 Speaker 1: the therapy we can go through, and the faith we 722 00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:12,600 Speaker 1: can manage and the trust we can build. You know, 723 00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:16,359 Speaker 1: we all have different solutions. The music we can listen to, 724 00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:21,239 Speaker 1: I think that's a good conversation, like how do we 725 00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:24,160 Speaker 1: move up and how do we get the you know, 726 00:36:24,239 --> 00:36:26,960 Speaker 1: the rage bait out of our system. I mean if 727 00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:29,080 Speaker 1: you said, have a cup of poison in the morning, 728 00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:33,880 Speaker 1: so that's not good for you, but we consume a 729 00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:36,960 Speaker 1: whole dose of rage bait and that's not good for 730 00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:40,520 Speaker 1: you either. That's even in my view, I mean depends 731 00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:43,920 Speaker 1: on what the point. It's almost worse. The data says 732 00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:48,080 Speaker 1: people understand that me and me had a question. 733 00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:51,319 Speaker 6: Well we were talking, you were talking earlier, and I'll 734 00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:54,239 Speaker 6: bring it back to rage bait. Yeah, we have our 735 00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:57,600 Speaker 6: President of the United States basically rage bating us every 736 00:36:57,960 --> 00:37:00,719 Speaker 6: single day. I mean, he recently just said he was 737 00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:05,520 Speaker 6: happy that Robert Muehler, you know, was dead right. So 738 00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:09,000 Speaker 6: how do we how do we continue to process that 739 00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:13,000 Speaker 6: when every day we continue to hear things like that 740 00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:13,799 Speaker 6: coming from the top. 741 00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:17,239 Speaker 1: I don't have a perfect answer for you there. I 742 00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:21,280 Speaker 1: tell you what I do. I limit my intake because 743 00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:25,360 Speaker 1: some of that is not news anymore than I would 744 00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:28,839 Speaker 1: watch a ku Klux Klan website. I don't I don't 745 00:37:28,920 --> 00:37:32,200 Speaker 1: go there. I don't mean it's not happening, but it's 746 00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:35,279 Speaker 1: not important to me. So I think a lot of 747 00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:37,960 Speaker 1: people in schools, we're doing this. Now, limit your intake. 748 00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:41,160 Speaker 1: Don't click on everything that says something that you think 749 00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:45,919 Speaker 1: is outrageous, not because you know you want to live 750 00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:48,120 Speaker 1: in a in a in a fantasy world, but because 751 00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:50,200 Speaker 1: you want to limit the poison going into your body. 752 00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:53,440 Speaker 1: And sometimes that's all it is. Sometimes we're just spinning 753 00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:57,360 Speaker 1: on poison. So one thing is limit your intake. A 754 00:37:57,440 --> 00:38:00,359 Speaker 1: second thing is to figure out how to process and 755 00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:04,279 Speaker 1: manage your anger and channel it in the things that 756 00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:08,480 Speaker 1: will make a difference. Because just retaliating that that post 757 00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:13,200 Speaker 1: is offensive or hateful of whatever. I think what a 758 00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:14,719 Speaker 1: lot of people want to do is figure out how 759 00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:16,120 Speaker 1: to create an alternative. 760 00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:18,520 Speaker 6: And to your point, I think a lot of people 761 00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:21,200 Speaker 6: are doing that. We have the no Kings protests right, yeah, 762 00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:24,080 Speaker 6: coming up, or a lot of people are pulling together 763 00:38:24,239 --> 00:38:25,239 Speaker 6: to fight back. 764 00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:27,280 Speaker 7: And to say that this is not okay. 765 00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:27,960 Speaker 2: Yeah. 766 00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:30,240 Speaker 1: I think a lot of people are. And I just hope, 767 00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:34,600 Speaker 1: you know, the next round of political action doesn't begin 768 00:38:34,680 --> 00:38:38,640 Speaker 1: with no I mean, no Kings, I get it, yeah, 769 00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:41,520 Speaker 1: but I'm hoping the next round of political action begins 770 00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:45,680 Speaker 1: with what we want? Yeah, what do we want? We want? 771 00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:47,880 Speaker 1: We want a country where people treat I mean, look, 772 00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:51,120 Speaker 1: maybe AI is coming for our jobs. I don't know. 773 00:38:51,719 --> 00:38:55,600 Speaker 1: You know, maybe maybe nuclear weapons are coming for our lives. 774 00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:58,520 Speaker 1: I don't know. But in the meantime, we have three 775 00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:01,279 Speaker 1: hundred plus million people in this We got a lot 776 00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:04,120 Speaker 1: of pain in our past and in our present. We 777 00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:06,880 Speaker 1: got a lot of anxiety in our children and our families. 778 00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:09,800 Speaker 1: There's one group of people that can do something about it. 779 00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:13,000 Speaker 1: That's us. I think it's a good place to start. 780 00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:15,719 Speaker 1: So now that we have this data, what do we 781 00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:18,280 Speaker 1: do with it. I know, you got the website dignity 782 00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:20,960 Speaker 1: dot us. Dignity dot us check out you can check 783 00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:24,520 Speaker 1: out the data there. We have a series of training 784 00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:28,880 Speaker 1: programs we're doing with businesses. We've trained like thirty thousand 785 00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:33,600 Speaker 1: employees in companies that want more dignity in their leaders, 786 00:39:33,719 --> 00:39:36,279 Speaker 1: in their problem solving, in their team building, and we're 787 00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:41,080 Speaker 1: getting great results from that. We have a partnership with 788 00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:43,960 Speaker 1: the National Governors Association try to get governors. You know, 789 00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:46,600 Speaker 1: we're not at the level of the federal government, but 790 00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:50,640 Speaker 1: the states are really important and how our governor's lead 791 00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:53,839 Speaker 1: is often you know, a big part of our daily life. 792 00:39:53,840 --> 00:39:56,439 Speaker 1: So we got a lot of governors, governors like Wes Moore, 793 00:39:56,840 --> 00:40:00,520 Speaker 1: Josh Shapiro, Spencer Cox, Kevin Stitt who are joining us, 794 00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:03,280 Speaker 1: Jared Poulis who are joining us and saying I'm committing 795 00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:05,440 Speaker 1: to leading with dignity. So we're working with politicians to 796 00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:09,520 Speaker 1: try to train them in the skills of dignity, and 797 00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:12,799 Speaker 1: we're working with schools. And here's the newest one. We 798 00:40:12,800 --> 00:40:14,680 Speaker 1: haven't really gotten going on this, but we've had a 799 00:40:14,719 --> 00:40:18,560 Speaker 1: lot of requests from faith leaders. You know why, because 800 00:40:18,560 --> 00:40:27,560 Speaker 1: they say they're trapped in hating other faith leaders. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 801 00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:30,160 Speaker 1: and they have hatred in their congress. Why would they 802 00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:33,879 Speaker 1: hate these other like well that you see progressive faith 803 00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:36,120 Speaker 1: leaders who see these white men, what's that. 804 00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:37,800 Speaker 2: You get more time than Offers and me on today? 805 00:40:38,440 --> 00:40:41,080 Speaker 1: Maybe, but maybe it's just they see the violation of 806 00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:44,600 Speaker 1: their principles. Somebody claiming to be a Christian who is 807 00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:48,080 Speaker 1: you know, pro immigrant, something claiming to be a Christian 808 00:40:48,120 --> 00:40:51,720 Speaker 1: who is pro white nationalists, and people go, I can't 809 00:40:51,719 --> 00:40:55,880 Speaker 1: that person's ah, I hate that guy. And so the 810 00:40:55,960 --> 00:40:59,480 Speaker 1: breakdown in the faith based community. And let's be honest. 811 00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:01,800 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm I'm a person of faith, but faith 812 00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:04,600 Speaker 1: is you know, saved my life, but it's also been 813 00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:06,920 Speaker 1: a source of a lot of hatred over the years. 814 00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:11,560 Speaker 1: So we have people in the community of believers who 815 00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:14,440 Speaker 1: haven't quite figured out how to answer the question we're 816 00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:16,640 Speaker 1: asking ourselves is, which is when we see things that 817 00:41:16,680 --> 00:41:21,359 Speaker 1: we find unacceptable, unjust, how can we respond with love? 818 00:41:21,480 --> 00:41:24,560 Speaker 1: Can we do what doctor King said? It's not easy. 819 00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:27,680 Speaker 1: Even people who preach it can't necessarily do it. So 820 00:41:27,719 --> 00:41:30,560 Speaker 1: we have like a whole skills framework, Charlotte. You know, 821 00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:32,360 Speaker 1: you can show you how to be a better listener, 822 00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:35,040 Speaker 1: show you how to be more curious, show you how 823 00:41:35,040 --> 00:41:37,919 Speaker 1: to stand up for your principles without dehumanizing other people. 824 00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:41,760 Speaker 1: So we're building a little toolkit to try to Yeah, 825 00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:42,319 Speaker 1: you know. 826 00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:46,000 Speaker 6: To your point the protests in Minnesota with the. 827 00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:48,960 Speaker 1: Pastor exactly, Yeah, I mean you saw this and a 828 00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:51,640 Speaker 1: lot of those people were faith based. You know, had Lutherans, 829 00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:53,000 Speaker 1: you had Catholics, you had a lot of people have 830 00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:55,120 Speaker 1: other different and a lot of people who weren't faith based, 831 00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:58,000 Speaker 1: and a lot of what happened there, and you know, 832 00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:01,560 Speaker 1: it's not an it doesn't excuse any of the things 833 00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:03,400 Speaker 1: that happened there, but a lot of what happened was 834 00:42:03,400 --> 00:42:07,640 Speaker 1: people stopped. People saw the dignity in the protesters they 835 00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:12,080 Speaker 1: were They felt like Americans. And I think even even 836 00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:16,120 Speaker 1: the President said, wait a minute, that that dignity. You 837 00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:20,600 Speaker 1: can't beat that. People see that, that that's let's let's 838 00:42:20,719 --> 00:42:22,560 Speaker 1: let's let's change course here a little bit. 839 00:42:23,719 --> 00:42:26,839 Speaker 2: So dignity dot us. You want them to go there? 840 00:42:26,840 --> 00:42:28,560 Speaker 1: And what I want them to go there? I want 841 00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:30,759 Speaker 1: them to download the Dignity Index. I want them to 842 00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:35,080 Speaker 1: uh to invite us to come and work with your schools, 843 00:42:35,080 --> 00:42:37,719 Speaker 1: your your school boards. I tell you that's as another 844 00:42:37,719 --> 00:42:40,279 Speaker 1: place we get a lot of interest because people come 845 00:42:40,280 --> 00:42:43,439 Speaker 1: to the school board ready for for you know, ready 846 00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:46,960 Speaker 1: for war. How dare you you know they are attacking 847 00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:49,400 Speaker 1: the school board members. There's been violence in these so 848 00:42:49,440 --> 00:42:51,640 Speaker 1: we you know, how do we have a discussion about 849 00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:53,759 Speaker 1: our textbooks? How do we have a discussion about the 850 00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:57,719 Speaker 1: curriculum without hatred. That's another area where so we want 851 00:42:57,760 --> 00:43:00,120 Speaker 1: people to get get involved, join the dignity movement, be 852 00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:02,160 Speaker 1: a part of a movement that's about dignity. I want 853 00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:05,320 Speaker 1: this show to have a weekly episode. Doesn't have to 854 00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:09,000 Speaker 1: be with me, uh, somebody reporting on dignity and contempt. 855 00:43:09,080 --> 00:43:12,319 Speaker 1: You could do this, I don't. I can't pick who 856 00:43:12,320 --> 00:43:15,160 Speaker 1: would who would be my choice for a reporter on this, 857 00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:18,440 Speaker 1: But take take like once a week, take three speeches 858 00:43:18,520 --> 00:43:22,800 Speaker 1: or three sections of quotes and score them. Let people listen, 859 00:43:22,920 --> 00:43:25,400 Speaker 1: Let people chime in, Let people voice what they How 860 00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:29,080 Speaker 1: could you have said this differently? How could how could 861 00:43:29,160 --> 00:43:32,920 Speaker 1: you rewrite this tweet that Tim Shauver put out and 862 00:43:33,120 --> 00:43:36,200 Speaker 1: you know we determined it was you know, it was 863 00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:39,680 Speaker 1: so hateful, and let's have a discussion about it. I 864 00:43:39,719 --> 00:43:43,960 Speaker 1: think people, I think your listeners would really be fascinated 865 00:43:43,960 --> 00:43:46,160 Speaker 1: because it's it's first of all, it's a little bit fun. 866 00:43:46,360 --> 00:43:47,960 Speaker 1: I mean we do this all the time with kids. 867 00:43:48,040 --> 00:43:51,279 Speaker 1: Score this social post, score that one with using this 868 00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:54,680 Speaker 1: scale we have, and so kids like it. They can 869 00:43:54,719 --> 00:43:58,319 Speaker 1: score the Gettysburg address, they can score the I Have 870 00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:00,759 Speaker 1: a Dream speech. They can score so Journal Truth. They 871 00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:03,440 Speaker 1: can score George Washington, they can score Thomas Jeffson, they 872 00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:05,600 Speaker 1: can score the Declaration of Independence. It's fun. 873 00:44:06,120 --> 00:44:08,560 Speaker 4: Okay, let's call it before you go score this right, Yeah, 874 00:44:08,840 --> 00:44:10,719 Speaker 4: this is Brooks Pottageyer. 875 00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:12,920 Speaker 2: He's an ambuilt, an built and what's. 876 00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:16,880 Speaker 4: The word, evangelical pastor who has been described as pete 877 00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:20,520 Speaker 4: Hexp's closest spiritual advisor. He said this, he said, first 878 00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:22,560 Speaker 4: and foremost, we prayed a man like this would be 879 00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:23,279 Speaker 4: cut to the heart. 880 00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:25,759 Speaker 2: He said. He puts Tallarico in the. 881 00:44:25,719 --> 00:44:29,080 Speaker 4: Category of public enemies are those you are not called 882 00:44:29,120 --> 00:44:29,439 Speaker 4: the love. 883 00:44:29,880 --> 00:44:30,640 Speaker 2: This is where you have. 884 00:44:30,719 --> 00:44:35,759 Speaker 4: Impractatory, imprecatory storms. This is where you pray strongly. The 885 00:44:35,760 --> 00:44:39,160 Speaker 4: psalmist is not shy. God destroy them, make them his 886 00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:40,240 Speaker 4: dung on the ground. 887 00:44:40,520 --> 00:44:42,800 Speaker 2: I pray that God kills him. 888 00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:45,560 Speaker 4: Talking about James Talerico to pat he said, ultimately that 889 00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:47,799 Speaker 4: means killing his heart and raising him up to new 890 00:44:47,840 --> 00:44:48,680 Speaker 4: life in Christ. 891 00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:50,400 Speaker 2: How do you rank that? 892 00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:57,120 Speaker 1: That's the one that's the lowest it can go. Your 893 00:44:57,320 --> 00:45:02,200 Speaker 1: your humanity has doesn't matter. You should be destroyed. So 894 00:45:02,320 --> 00:45:05,600 Speaker 1: that's that's that's a one. Now, if that guy was 895 00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:07,719 Speaker 1: sitting here, he'd give you all the justifications for it, 896 00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:10,360 Speaker 1: but it's still a one, and he would say something 897 00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:12,920 Speaker 1: like that guy started it. You know that that's dangerous. 898 00:45:13,160 --> 00:45:15,399 Speaker 1: So look, I think that's a one. All I can 899 00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:17,560 Speaker 1: say is there's better ways to make that point, whatever 900 00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:19,880 Speaker 1: point he's trying to make. I assume he doesn't like 901 00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:21,600 Speaker 1: tall Rico because if. 902 00:45:21,480 --> 00:45:23,200 Speaker 2: You want somebody to die, what's the better way to see? 903 00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:32,560 Speaker 4: Oh my god, I wish you a beautiful afterlife. 904 00:45:34,840 --> 00:45:37,240 Speaker 1: In the in the in with the angels and the saints. 905 00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:38,280 Speaker 6: You know. 906 00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:39,640 Speaker 2: Us. 907 00:45:40,920 --> 00:45:44,240 Speaker 1: Thank you so much, thank you for breakfast club. 908 00:45:44,280 --> 00:45:50,600 Speaker 3: Good morning, good morning, every day a week ago, breakfast Club. 909 00:45:50,880 --> 00:45:51,520 Speaker 2: You don't finish the