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Speaker 1: Since lockdown. My son said, please, can we go to England?

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Speaker 1: And we only meant to come till Christmas, and then

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Speaker 1: he said, can I finish at the school year here?

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Speaker 1: Did you have your kids back with you? Were you

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Speaker 1: all together? Yeah? That was also a blessing because my

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Speaker 1: kids are twenty one in nineteen, and they're at the

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Speaker 1: ages where they would be, you know, off doing their

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Speaker 1: own thing. Especially my daughter was you know fully launched,

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Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden she had no work,

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Speaker 1: so she was back here and I think she fostered

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Speaker 1: five puppies and then finally the fifth one stuck, so

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Speaker 1: and then she got another one. So we have like

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Speaker 1: four dogs now, which is crazy because I didn't grow

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Speaker 1: up with dogs, and I'm not ever the person you

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Speaker 1: would have thought would have four dogs. Hello, I'm Mini

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Speaker 1: Driver and welcome to many questions. I've always loved Priest

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Speaker 1: question app. It was originally an eighteenth century poly game

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Speaker 1: meant to reveal an individual's true nature, but with so

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Speaker 1: many questions, there wasn't really an opportunity to expand on anything.

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Speaker 1: So I took the format of Proof's questionnaire and adapted

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Speaker 1: what I think are seven of the most important questions

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Speaker 1: you could ever ask someone they are when and where

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Speaker 1: were you happiest? What is the quality you like least

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Speaker 1: about yourself. What relationship, real or fictionalized, defines love for you?

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Speaker 1: What question would you most like answered, What person, place,

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Speaker 1: or experience has shaped you the most? What would be

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Speaker 1: your last meal? And can you tell me something in

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Speaker 1: your life that has grown out of a personal disaster.

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Speaker 1: The more people we ask, the more we begin to

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Speaker 1: see what makes us similar and what makes us individual.

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Speaker 1: I've gathered a group of really remarkable people who I

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Speaker 1: am honored and humbled to have had a chance to

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Speaker 1: engage with. My guest today is Cindy Crawford. Cindy has

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Speaker 1: been an iconic part of American culture since the early nineties,

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Speaker 1: a supermodel, a business when, and a mother. It's really

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Speaker 1: worth remembering that she was actually given a scholarship to

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Speaker 1: Northwestern to study chemical engineering when finding great success as

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Speaker 1: a model changed her career path entirely. She said to me,

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Speaker 1: the good thing about having a brain is that you

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Speaker 1: can take it with you. She's a woman very much

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Speaker 1: in charge of her own narrative and the course that

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Speaker 1: she charts, and it was a real pleasure getting to

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Speaker 1: know her a little better and having the opportunity to chat. So,

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Speaker 1: what person, place, or experience has most altered your life?

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Speaker 1: I did home birth? Oh did he? Yes? Oh I tried.

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Speaker 1: I tried. God tell me no, that's amazing. So in

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Speaker 1: the beginning, right when I got pregnant, I was not

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Speaker 1: planning on it. Both my sisters said had kids, they

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Speaker 1: had epidurals. I was like, sign me up. That's the

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Speaker 1: way you have kids. That's the modern way now. And

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Speaker 1: then while I was pregnant, a friend of mine suggested

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Speaker 1: I go to this premat or yoga class, and the

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Speaker 1: woman who taught the class grew muke. She made me

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Speaker 1: really look at when you're pregnant, you're not sick, you're

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Speaker 1: actually super strong. And through some of the people in

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Speaker 1: that class the idea of home birth, and I met

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Speaker 1: a midwife and it just resonated with me. And I

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Speaker 1: didn't put pressure on myself. My plan was just to

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Speaker 1: stay at home as long as I could, and if

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Speaker 1: I needed to go to the hospital, I would go.

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Speaker 1: Wasn't like I'm going to stay home no matter what.

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Speaker 1: And I think for me having that experience was very

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Speaker 1: empowering because when you say to most women who are

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Speaker 1: like who delivered your baby, They're like dr so, and

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Speaker 1: so I'm like I did. My midwife was there, she

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Speaker 1: was the assist, yes, and you know, my husband was there.

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Speaker 1: But I felt so empowered afterwards, and I felt like

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Speaker 1: doing that even like right after my son was born,

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Speaker 1: I was like wow. I mean, of course I was

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Speaker 1: holding my baby and so happy for that, but I

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Speaker 1: was also like, you are amazing. You did that. And

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Speaker 1: that was like my first other than being pregnant and

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Speaker 1: there's all you know, you're saying to your baby and

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Speaker 1: all that stuff, But that was like my first act

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Speaker 1: as a mother, and I felt so strong and empowered

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Speaker 1: that I think that it helped me. Like I came

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Speaker 1: at it from a place of like I've got this.

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Speaker 1: It's so great. It's such a brilliant place to begin

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Speaker 1: that extraordinary journey. There's something that brings it into focus

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Speaker 1: of our strength, a superhuman strength in growing and birthing

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Speaker 1: a baby. It's magical, Yeah, because I never really understood

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Speaker 1: how tough I was before that. Really, Yeah, especially like

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Speaker 1: in that visceral physical I mean, it hurts having a

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Speaker 1: baby's for sure, and I just I didn't come from

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Speaker 1: silver spoon. But like my life in my twenties was

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Speaker 1: very pampered, flying on the concorde and people doing my

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Speaker 1: nails and hair and makeup and handing me dresses and

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Speaker 1: get machinos or whatever. And then that just put me right.

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Speaker 1: It's like as raw of an experience as I think,

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Speaker 1: you know, it levels you, It really does. It levels you.

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Speaker 1: And again I think it takes off unnecessary corners that

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Speaker 1: one might have as a person and really shapes you.

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Speaker 1: My mom always said, she was like, I don't know

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Speaker 1: about reincarnation, but I know we live about a thousand

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Speaker 1: different lives in this one. Yeah, and this is a

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Speaker 1: tricky question of where and when were you happiest because

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Speaker 1: there are many different, many different lives that you've had.

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Speaker 1: But can you think of what that would be? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean I think today, but if you asked me tomorrow,

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Speaker 1: I would say that day. It's funny. There's a homeopathic

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Speaker 1: doctor out here that I see and I adore. He's

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Speaker 1: like a therapist and homeopathic doctor. And one of his

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Speaker 1: questions he asked is, on a scale of one to ten,

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Speaker 1: rate yourself on happiness. And I always laugh because I'm like,

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Speaker 1: but that's not my goal. I'm way more interested in

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Speaker 1: just being present what is the moment, offering and meeting

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Speaker 1: that moment. So if it's sadness, I don't want to

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Speaker 1: be happy in a sad moment. I don't want to

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Speaker 1: be happy in a serious moment. I just want to

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Speaker 1: be present. I guess what makes me happiest is being present.

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Speaker 1: Does that make sense? Yeah, it totally does. I mean

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Speaker 1: I think that if you can get that bird's eye

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Speaker 1: view to see the panopoly of a life, happiness has

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Speaker 1: its place. We put so much stake in it. It

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Speaker 1: has such a premium, and the reality is we're not

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Speaker 1: supposed to be happy all the time. We're happy all

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Speaker 1: the time, we'll be extremely unmotivated, you know, I just

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Speaker 1: stay in bed all day. We also would be completely,

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Speaker 1: you know, tone deaf to anything that's going on around us.

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Speaker 1: And it is interesting because like as mother's like, I

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Speaker 1: just want my child to be happy, but the kid

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Speaker 1: can't be happy all the time, and you've got to

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Speaker 1: teach them how to be unhappy, how to be effectively

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Speaker 1: unhappy in the world right, and that this too shall pass.

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Speaker 1: And in that pain or you know, loneliness or whatever

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Speaker 1: their experience, seeing there's a lesson and there's beauty, and

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Speaker 1: then it also helps you appreciate the times where you

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Speaker 1: really are just unburdened by any of that. Do you

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Speaker 1: think that at times in your life when you've been unhappy,

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Speaker 1: have you consciously mind for the things that will make

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Speaker 1: you feel better or did you pretty early on become

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Speaker 1: comfortable with just staying in whatever emotional state you were in. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think that's been more developed. It's been a while

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Speaker 1: where I feel like I don't put that pressure on

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Speaker 1: myself to be happy every day. So if I'm not happy,

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Speaker 1: I don't feel like I'm depressed or it's a bad day.

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Speaker 1: One of the things that I talked about this recently,

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Speaker 1: I did this talk for like the Vatican Conference with

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Speaker 1: a friend of mine who's a doctor, and we were

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Speaker 1: talking about health and mental health, and I think one

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Speaker 1: of the things I've learned to do effectively is in

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Speaker 1: the way I described it to him, was like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: whatever you're worrying about, whatever burden you're carrying around, just

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Speaker 1: put it own at night, get in bed and put

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Speaker 1: it to bed, put it in God's hands. Wherever you

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Speaker 1: want to put it. You can pick it up in

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Speaker 1: the morning. But you've got to like give yourself a

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Speaker 1: break from it. That's such great advice. I tell my son,

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Speaker 1: just don't let it drive the bus at nighttime. Put

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Speaker 1: it in the back of the bus with the luggage. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Or I would even get it off the bus. I'd

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Speaker 1: get on a different bus for the night. I don't know,

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Speaker 1: but yeah, Like a lot of times you wake up

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Speaker 1: and you realize, oh, it's not quite as heavy as

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Speaker 1: it felt yesterday, or somehow it resolves on its own.

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Speaker 1: I'm the type of person like that thing when someone

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Speaker 1: calls you and they're like or text you, please call

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Speaker 1: me back, Like my brain instantly goes to like the

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Speaker 1: worst thing possible, and then you call them back and

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Speaker 1: you're like, they're like something silly. I don't know why

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Speaker 1: our human brains do that. So I'm like the type.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I gotta call them back right away because

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Speaker 1: I don't want to worry about this any longer than

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Speaker 1: I have to. It takes so much more energy worrying

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Speaker 1: than it is letting it go. You're right, I don't

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Speaker 1: know why the human brain does it either. The monkey mind. Yes,

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Speaker 1: maybe it's there so that we can choose something else

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Speaker 1: and that we didn't have that dissonance, we wouldn't choose

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Speaker 1: something else. Yeah. Yeah, that's kind of my philosophy on

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Speaker 1: happiness in general. I like it. It's good. It's stoic.

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Speaker 1: Actually it's stoic, and it's absolutely right. Just be present

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Speaker 1: in this decade that we're in. I think that's one

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Speaker 1: of the real gifts, is being able to examine the

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Speaker 1: things that work and the things that are still tricky. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And I mean, look, there's some things about getting older

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Speaker 1: that aren't great, but I think that is really one

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Speaker 1: of the things I've noticed in myself and my friends

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Speaker 1: and my sisters is with age, you do kind of

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Speaker 1: know yourself, even your flaws, and you're hopefully you can

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Speaker 1: even learn to be accepting of those as well, like

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Speaker 1: the way that we view our friends through that lens

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Speaker 1: of like, oh she's this, but I love her anyway,

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Speaker 1: or the way you know, if we can learn to

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Speaker 1: love ourselves in that way too, with all of our

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Speaker 1: flaws and imperfections, but also with all of our wisdom

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Speaker 1: and experience, that I think is a kind and graceful

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Speaker 1: way to age. I couldn't agree with you more. I mean,

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Speaker 1: wisdom and grace doesn't get enough play. In my opinion,

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Speaker 1: what relationship, real or fictionalized, defines love for you. I mean,

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Speaker 1: there's so many different kinds of love. I mean what

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Speaker 1: comes to mind is mother to child and that unconditional love.

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Speaker 1: And I feel very blessed that I had that from

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Speaker 1: my own mother. So having that gave me confidence to

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Speaker 1: become a mother myself and feeling like I would be

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Speaker 1: able to give that to my own children. But also

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Speaker 1: I mean romantic love, and romantic love that turns into

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Speaker 1: a twenty three year marriage. Obviously it grows in changes.

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Speaker 1: But I think for me in terms of romantic love,

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Speaker 1: what I'm really looking for to be known right, Like

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Speaker 1: to be seen and not just the pretty sides, not

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Speaker 1: just a polite sides, Like I don't mind that part

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Speaker 1: of a relationship where it's a little bit scrappy and

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Speaker 1: vulnerable and roll up your sleeves and let's get into it.

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Speaker 1: By being able to be vulnerable with someone and them

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Speaker 1: still loving you like, that's a great gift. Did that

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Speaker 1: take a minute to work out? Because I mean, I've

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Speaker 1: got to say you are beloved by an awful lot

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Speaker 1: of people. I mean, for everything that has come after

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Speaker 1: coining the phrase supermodel. How is that when you are

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Speaker 1: basically loved for how incredibly beautiful you are, how does

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Speaker 1: that sense of self grow be like beyond that? Because

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Speaker 1: it's it's true you were growing up in front of everybody,

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Speaker 1: and you're received and held in a very particular regard.

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Speaker 1: It must make you question what what it is people

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Speaker 1: love about you? Well, it's certainly it puts a pressure

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Speaker 1: on you, like to be Cindy Crawford, like to deliver that,

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Speaker 1: do you know what I mean. It's like, okay, well

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Speaker 1: I'm doing this thing, Cindy Crawford, better show up. And

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Speaker 1: I'm not always in the mood to be Cindy Crawford, right,

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Speaker 1: But that's a thing. I mean, it's it's an aspect

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Speaker 1: of who I am. But you know, at home, I'm

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Speaker 1: a very different person. And fortunately my husband he likes

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Speaker 1: me no makeup, you know, jeans and a T shirt

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Speaker 1: like that's his favorite. And I think realizing that, you know,

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Speaker 1: kind of me in my most raw self is what

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Speaker 1: my family loves and help me realize like that's the

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Speaker 1: truth of my life. And this other thing, which is

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Speaker 1: super fun and you know, we play with at times,

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Speaker 1: and I've been able to take that and you know,

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Speaker 1: use it as a platform with a skin care line

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Speaker 1: or with my philanthropy whatever. And I feel, especially you know,

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Speaker 1: as I get older, some of me wants to just

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Speaker 1: like check out and be like, Okay, I'm done with

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Speaker 1: that whole thing. But I also feel some respond stability

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Speaker 1: to women who are my age that have been following

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Speaker 1: me for thirty five years or whatever. I don't want

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Speaker 1: to tell them like, okay, ladies, now it's time for

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Speaker 1: all of us to be invisible. Even though sometimes I

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Speaker 1: might not want to do the photo shoot or whatever.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, but is this helping women see their beauty

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Speaker 1: and the beauty of age in a way? And like,

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Speaker 1: I just did a photo shoot and it's funny. I

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Speaker 1: did it for Brazilian Vogue and it was with these

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Speaker 1: photographers who adored I had never worked with them before,

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Speaker 1: but I knew their work and the pictures were kind

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Speaker 1: of like sexy. But I was like, look, they can't

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Speaker 1: be coy at all. I'm fifty five. I'm not coy,

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Speaker 1: like that can't It's not that kind of sexy that

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Speaker 1: works at twenty or twenty five. And I don't even

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Speaker 1: feel that, like I don't even that would be so

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Speaker 1: inauthentic to the pictures. I'm like they hadn't really thought

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Speaker 1: about it that way, and it was fun, like us

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Speaker 1: working out together what that means? You know, It's not like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm holding up a sheet and I'm who you know,

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Speaker 1: That's not who I am at this point in my life,

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Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? I'm fascinating conselte people

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Speaker 1: who are on an academic path who make this you

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Speaker 1: turn into whatever this world that we live in. And

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Speaker 1: I wondered, did you have to find like a new

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Speaker 1: fuel like when you had this idea. I mean, Northwestern

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Speaker 1: is not to be sniffed out like that's it's an

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Speaker 1: amazing school. And if you have a really good brain,

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Speaker 1: did you find this whole new career in this whole

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Speaker 1: new world? Did you find it as you went along

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Speaker 1: or did you suddenly think that something had been switched

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Speaker 1: on in you? I think growing up, you know, blue

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Speaker 1: collar and not having money, like always motivated in a

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Speaker 1: very different way than for instance, my daughter is. So

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Speaker 1: it wasn't like an esoteric decision about modeling. It was

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Speaker 1: like what it pays this much? You know? And the

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Speaker 1: great thing about a brain as it comes with you

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Speaker 1: so even having an academic brain, I just kind of

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Speaker 1: looked at modeling that way. I brought that with me.

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Speaker 1: I learned, I absorbed. I paid attention to all the

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Speaker 1: creatives that I was around, and it was actually really

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Speaker 1: good for me because I remember my mother. My mother

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Speaker 1: was a very young mother. She got pregnant with my

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Speaker 1: sister when she was sixteen, and so I had my

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Speaker 1: sister when she was seventeen, me when she was nineteen,

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Speaker 1: two more kids by the time she was twenty three.

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Speaker 1: So and my mom was a great mom, but I

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Speaker 1: think there was a part of her that was creative

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Speaker 1: and she never had found an outlet for it. She

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Speaker 1: used to do these paintings on our sheets and pillows,

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Speaker 1: she decorated like the part that you saw, like the edge,

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Speaker 1: and I think because she didn't have that place to

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Speaker 1: be creative really and and get accolades for it, somehow

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Speaker 1: I got the message that I wasn't creative, and it's

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Speaker 1: a weird thing for a kid to feel. I guess

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Speaker 1: in a weird way, I was just like, well, I'm

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Speaker 1: not good at art, or i'm not good at this,

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Speaker 1: or so I didn't have a comfortable place to express

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Speaker 1: my creativity. So I was very comfortable with calculus and

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Speaker 1: you know, things that where you could add up the

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Speaker 1: numbers and you always got the same answer, whereas creative

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Speaker 1: writing or even Spanish things that were less concrete and

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Speaker 1: tangible were more intimidating to me. And then I got

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Speaker 1: in this, you know I called the fabulous world of fashion,

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Speaker 1: and I'm surrounded by creatives and saying, well, you know what,

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Speaker 1: I am creative in the way that I'm creative. I mean,

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Speaker 1: we all are creative, absolutely absolutely. It's the way that

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Speaker 1: school kind of tries to pigeonhole you into, oh you're

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Speaker 1: an art kid or your theater kid, or you're a

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Speaker 1: football kid. But even a lot of the best athletes,

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Speaker 1: the way they approached the game is creatively. I mean.

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Speaker 1: And don't I think that modeling actually helped me tap

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Speaker 1: into the creative side of my brain, But of course

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Speaker 1: I still had like that analytical side as well. Was

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Speaker 1: probably really good but probably really protected you. So I

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Speaker 1: love what you said about how your brain goes with you.

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Speaker 1: I didn't think about that, but yeah, it's just it's

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Speaker 1: just maybe lighting up different parts, you know. Yeah, do

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Speaker 1: you feel quite practical about your evolution? Like it seems

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Speaker 1: to me that you're extremely practical about it. It's like, okay,

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Speaker 1: well this is this is what's happening now, I am

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Speaker 1: now this person. Do you find that emotionally those parts

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Speaker 1: of yourself evolve as well? Someone said to me recently,

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Speaker 1: and this, really I think we'll answer it is that

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Speaker 1: when they have anxiety, it's when their actions aren't aligning

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Speaker 1: with their sole purpose. So whenever they have anxiety, they

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Speaker 1: look at like, Okay, what am I doing? That isn't authentic?

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Speaker 1: But I think to your question, it's not that I'm

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Speaker 1: so practical about it, just like it's my body just

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Speaker 1: knows it doesn't feel right, and it's like, oh like,

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Speaker 1: I like, this feels yucky. And I don't want to

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Speaker 1: portray especially I'm not an actress, so I'm only portraying

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Speaker 1: a version of me. It's interesting. It dove tails back

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Speaker 1: into that notion of presence, and in order to know yourself,

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Speaker 1: you have to remain extremely present in each age of

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Speaker 1: your life, in each moment of your life, and so

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Speaker 1: you can be ruthless with being able to smell inauthenticity.

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Speaker 1: I suppose I go at school, but it's not for me, right,

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Speaker 1: not for me today or maybe ever again. And I

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Speaker 1: think that's part of the reason that my career has

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Speaker 1: lasted as long as it has and has evolved. When

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Speaker 1: I had kids, I did stuff with like a baby company,

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Speaker 1: and then as my skin started aging, I launched it.

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Speaker 1: Well we called it age maintenance, but somehow that isn't

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Speaker 1: as sexy as anti aging, but age maintenance, like, I'm

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Speaker 1: pretty happy with that. Age maintenance is wearing like a

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Speaker 1: boiler suit and is busy. Yeah. Well, and also it's

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Speaker 1: kind of like, look, I can't erase time and we're

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Speaker 1: all aging, but I can take care of myself as

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Speaker 1: I age, and that to me is like realistic. But

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Speaker 1: somehow it doesn't have the ring of anti age jan

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Speaker 1: which we all know who can anti age like you can't,

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Speaker 1: But it's it's it's really good marketing because at something

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Speaker 1: you're definitely against it and being against aging, but I'm

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Speaker 1: always like, it's better than the alternative. You know, I

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Speaker 1: can't agree with you more. What would be your last meal?

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Speaker 1: Oh gosh, I love food, but I think it would

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Speaker 1: be more about like a shared meal, do you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean? Like me sitting alone eating anything would

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Speaker 1: yeah be good? Like I've had very nice. You know,

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Speaker 1: room service by myself around the world. But I think

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Speaker 1: that room service by myself might be my new last meal.

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Speaker 1: Actually that is really funny. Room service by myself. No,

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Speaker 1: I mean, and I do love sometimes, especially when my

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Speaker 1: kids real little. I loved being in a hotel room,

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Speaker 1: vine able to take a long bath or whatever. But

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Speaker 1: I think now any meal shared with friends or even

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Speaker 1: like now my children's friends, where sometimes my husband and

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Speaker 1: I notice ourselves at the grown up table, you know,

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Speaker 1: we have to step back and let the young people

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Speaker 1: talk about just being around that kind of energy and

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Speaker 1: ideas and the way they think about the world. I

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Speaker 1: just feel so energized being around them too, because you

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Speaker 1: just realize, well, you know, there's always this forward motion

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Speaker 1: with thoughts and ideology, and you know, what is their normal,

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Speaker 1: and it's it's interesting. That's cool. I like that your

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Speaker 1: your last meal. You're also thinking about, you know, what's

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Speaker 1: coming next, like what's happening, Like what's the evolution of this?

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Speaker 1: Like that's very cool to be what some people would

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Speaker 1: think of as an ending point and be considering what

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Speaker 1: comes after it. So in your life, can you tell

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Speaker 1: me about something that has grown out of what you

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Speaker 1: might consider a personal disaster. Yeah, so I lost your

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Speaker 1: brother to leukemia when I was ten, and obviously that

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Speaker 1: was tragic for my whole family. Only until I became

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Speaker 1: a mother myself did I realize how it must have

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Speaker 1: affected my parents. But I do think somehow, and I

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Speaker 1: think it's partly the way that my mother explained death

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Speaker 1: to us, even though it was sad. Of course, my

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Speaker 1: mother wasn't like, she didn't lay all that heaviness on us,

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Speaker 1: and I think that I guess I started kind of

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Speaker 1: picturing him almost as like the rocket fuel that helped

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Speaker 1: launch me and my family. Really we were definitely, you know,

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Speaker 1: lower class, and so we didn't do a lot of philanthropy.

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Speaker 1: But because of that loss of my brother, my mom

390
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Speaker 1: you know, did bake sales or she started at dance

391
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Speaker 1: marathon where we'd raised two hundred dollars. But it it

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Speaker 1: showed me that even though you don't have a lot,

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Speaker 1: you can still be philanthropic, and it kind of started

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Speaker 1: me being interested in philanthropy. M I'm so sorry that

395
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Speaker 1: you ship rather how awful, how awful for your mama.

396
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Speaker 1: I remember when I had my son, I was like,

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Speaker 1: oh my mom, and I'm like Okay, how did you

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Speaker 1: do it? And she said, I had three other kids.

399
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Speaker 1: She's like, you guys were all looking at me, like

400
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Speaker 1: what's for breakfast? And how should we feel? And so

401
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:19,000
Speaker 1: she just had to to do it. It's really great

402
00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:22,159
Speaker 1: hearing that when you just said, very plainly, when she

403
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:24,600
Speaker 1: talked to us about death, we don't talk about it.

404
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Speaker 1: We just don't. Whether it's that we're frightened of it

405
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:30,520
Speaker 1: happening to someone that we love or ourselves, we don't

406
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Speaker 1: have any tools with which to deal with it. And

407
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Speaker 1: actually it is. It is the biggest part of life

408
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Speaker 1: other than life itself. And I don't know. In this

409
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:42,840
Speaker 1: grieving process that I'm in right now, I realized that

410
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:46,919
Speaker 1: my conversations before I knew that my mom was sick,

411
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:51,400
Speaker 1: that we had about death throughout my life was so

412
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Speaker 1: helpful and so brilliant and so robust and actually gave

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Speaker 1: me a framework to now be in this grief and

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Speaker 1: to at least it's so important. Yes, because I remember

415
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Speaker 1: going back to school after my my brother died in

416
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Speaker 1: like no one knew what to say to me. Right

417
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Speaker 1: It was like because the kids were so they knew

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Speaker 1: something bad had happened, but they didn't know how to

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Speaker 1: approach me. And you know, Randy and I've lost a

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Speaker 1: few friends that our kids were close to. And I

421
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Speaker 1: remember calling a therapist and saying, like, how do I

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Speaker 1: talk to my kids about this? And she gave me

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00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:26,760
Speaker 1: some very good advice because the kids don't even know

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00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:28,960
Speaker 1: how to feel, so you tell them ahead of time,

425
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:31,720
Speaker 1: like you broadcasted that that to them, like I have

426
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:35,160
Speaker 1: some very sad news because I don't know, like death,

427
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Speaker 1: how am I supposed to feel? It's weird and they

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Speaker 1: get uncomfortable. So you say some very sad news and

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Speaker 1: then we say our friend and then you say died.

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Speaker 1: You don't say passed away or you've got to be

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Speaker 1: clear to kids. And then she just said, if you

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Speaker 1: have any questions, you can ask them and only answer

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Speaker 1: the questions they asked like they're processing. And all of

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Speaker 1: that helped us because if you years later, my husband's

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Speaker 1: father died, and so again we had had these like

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Speaker 1: little baby levels of talking about death and law, so

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00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:11,720
Speaker 1: that when they really lost their grandpa, who they were

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Speaker 1: very close to, we had some experience with, you know,

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Speaker 1: navigating that. Yeah, I feel like there should be closest

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Speaker 1: in school. I feel like it shouldn't be the taboo

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Speaker 1: that it is, I know, And there's something incredibly beautiful

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Speaker 1: and empowering about not being frightened of it as well. No, exactly.

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Speaker 1: You know, I just lost my grandmother at age, and

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Speaker 1: I mean she had an amazing life. She died peacefully,

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Speaker 1: and even to be able to talk about that, like

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Speaker 1: she was ready, I think she was ready. She was tired,

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Speaker 1: but like some people don't even know what to say

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00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:46,760
Speaker 1: about that, and it's like, no, she was awesome. I'll

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00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:48,200
Speaker 1: let me tell you about her, you know that kind

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Speaker 1: of thing. It's really nice when you get to talk

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Speaker 1: about them. That's the piece that I like. And it

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Speaker 1: also is it's a way out of just being sad

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Speaker 1: or crying. It's actually it feels so much more creative

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00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:02,960
Speaker 1: of and so much more in line with who that

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00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:06,800
Speaker 1: person was to talk about them. I found that helps.

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00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:09,359
Speaker 1: Talking about my mom is telling a story about her,

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Speaker 1: as opposed to saying how much I miss or I'm

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Speaker 1: sorry that somebody else. Mrs Herbert, it's good, it's good

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Speaker 1: to talk. Yeah, And that's how it really, you know,

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Speaker 1: And again, like everyone's beliefs are different, but in that way,

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Speaker 1: they really are still here. You know because the stories

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00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:34,000
Speaker 1: and you know the memories are still here. Cindy has

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00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:37,360
Speaker 1: an amazing skincare line called Meaningful Beauty, and on June

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00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:40,480
Speaker 1: twenty one this year, it is expanding and launching an

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Speaker 1: age proof hair care system, so check it out. Many

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Speaker 1: Questions is hosted and written by Me Mini Driver, supervising

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00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:57,320
Speaker 1: producer Aaron Kaufman, Producer Morgan Levoy, Research assistant Marissa Brown.

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00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:03,920
Speaker 1: Original music so Very Baby by Mini Driver, Additional music

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00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:09,080
Speaker 1: by Aaron Kaufman, Executive produced by Me Mini Driver. Special

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00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:14,840
Speaker 1: thanks to Jim Nikolay, Will Pearson, Addison No Day, Lisa

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Speaker 1: Castella and a Nick Oppenheim at w kPr, de La Pescador,

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00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:25,320
Speaker 1: Kate Driver and Jason Weinberg, and for constantly solicited tech support,

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Speaker 1: Henry Driver