1 00:00:00,320 --> 00:00:03,840 Speaker 1: Focus on the relationships at work as much as the work. 2 00:00:04,240 --> 00:00:06,840 Speaker 1: One of the reasons why work is stressful is because 3 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:09,240 Speaker 1: we don't trust people and they don't trust us. It's 4 00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:12,680 Speaker 1: stressful because we haven't built community. It's harder because we 5 00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:15,200 Speaker 1: don't have relationships and people don't want to help and 6 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:19,680 Speaker 1: support us. And so don't be negligent or neglectful of 7 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:22,920 Speaker 1: people at work because you think, hey, it pays the bills, 8 00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:25,920 Speaker 1: I took care of it. I'm out, because that actually 9 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:35,600 Speaker 1: makes it harder. Hey, everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, 10 00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:38,280 Speaker 1: the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to 11 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:40,479 Speaker 1: each and every one of you that come back every 12 00:00:40,479 --> 00:00:44,400 Speaker 1: week to listen, learn and grow. If you're here, you're 13 00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:47,479 Speaker 1: here because you're dedicated to your health. You're dedicated to 14 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:50,600 Speaker 1: your mindset, you're dedicated to your well being, and you're 15 00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:56,120 Speaker 1: dedicated to being one percent better every single day. That's 16 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:58,720 Speaker 1: all we're aiming for, that's all we're working towards because 17 00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:02,560 Speaker 1: we know that that stacks up, it adds up. And 18 00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:04,759 Speaker 1: I am so excited to be talking to you today. 19 00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:08,120 Speaker 1: I can't believe it. My new book Eight Rules of 20 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:13,440 Speaker 1: Love is out in literally like eleven days now, and 21 00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:16,400 Speaker 1: I cannot wait to share it with you. I am 22 00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:19,360 Speaker 1: so so excited for you to read this book, for 23 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:21,680 Speaker 1: you to listen to this book. I read the audiobook. 24 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:24,480 Speaker 1: If you haven't got it already, make sure you go 25 00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:28,440 Speaker 1: to eight Rules of Love dot com preorder the book today, 26 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:31,920 Speaker 1: and when you preorder it and you submit on the website, 27 00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:36,480 Speaker 1: you'll actually get my free workshop called eight Cliches of 28 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:39,160 Speaker 1: Love for free. You'll get that as soon as you 29 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:41,560 Speaker 1: preorder the book. So make sure you preorder either the 30 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:45,919 Speaker 1: audiobook or the hardcover of eight Rules of Love dot com. 31 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:48,360 Speaker 1: I can't wait for you to read and hear it now. 32 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:53,600 Speaker 1: Today's episode is all about your well being and the workplace. 33 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:56,520 Speaker 1: So I know we usually start January with some goals, 34 00:01:56,520 --> 00:02:00,520 Speaker 1: with some intentions, maybe with some journaling and habit, and 35 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:03,640 Speaker 1: usually by this time we're starting to realize how difficult 36 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:06,680 Speaker 1: it is, and often our work can be a great 37 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:11,560 Speaker 1: source of stress, pain, and even burnout. And I really 38 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:15,400 Speaker 1: want to today look at this relationship between work and 39 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:18,880 Speaker 1: well being. Studies show that fifty seven percent of people 40 00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:22,280 Speaker 1: who are burnt out report being less productive in the 41 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:25,480 Speaker 1: last twelve months. Forty seven percent of people who are 42 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:30,040 Speaker 1: burnt out report producing lower quality work, and none of 43 00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:33,639 Speaker 1: that feels good, right, none of that feels good. We 44 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:37,919 Speaker 1: don't enjoy being burnt out. We don't enjoy being exhausted. 45 00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:41,320 Speaker 1: This is important to look at because there's a year 46 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:44,359 Speaker 1: by year increase in how many of us feel burnt out. 47 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:47,400 Speaker 1: In twenty twenty it was about twenty nine point six percent, 48 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:49,840 Speaker 1: and in twenty twenty one it was about thirty four 49 00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:52,840 Speaker 1: point seven percent, and we know that number is rising 50 00:02:52,919 --> 00:02:56,840 Speaker 1: year on year. So, if you're experiencing burnout, if you're 51 00:02:56,880 --> 00:03:00,280 Speaker 1: experiencing stress from work, whether you work at a company 52 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:03,600 Speaker 1: or for yourself or kind of in between, or maybe 53 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:07,040 Speaker 1: you've started a side hustle, if you experience any stress, 54 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:11,440 Speaker 1: any pain, any pressure, this episode is for you. I 55 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:13,320 Speaker 1: want you to send this to that friend that you've 56 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:16,480 Speaker 1: been talking about burnout to all week. I know that 57 00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:19,480 Speaker 1: these are conversations that you're having, and I hope that 58 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:23,560 Speaker 1: my conversations with you on the podcast help you navigate these. 59 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:25,519 Speaker 1: Some of the insights that I'm going to give today 60 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:29,320 Speaker 1: are truly game changes, like they're really going to flip 61 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:31,240 Speaker 1: the switch for you. And so I want you to 62 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:33,960 Speaker 1: listen all the way through to the end. So let's 63 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:38,360 Speaker 1: dive straight. In workplace stress is estimated to be the 64 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:42,120 Speaker 1: fifth biggest cause of death in the United States. Around 65 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:46,640 Speaker 1: forty percent of workers identify their jobs as very or 66 00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:51,400 Speaker 1: extremely stressful, and a troubling quarter of Americans identify their 67 00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:56,440 Speaker 1: jobs as the number one source of stress in their lives. Now, 68 00:03:56,440 --> 00:04:01,880 Speaker 1: the truth is, we're spending eight, ten, maybe even twelve 69 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:05,120 Speaker 1: hours at work, and so for it to be a 70 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:07,640 Speaker 1: cause of stress in our lives or a source of 71 00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:13,600 Speaker 1: stress in our lives is highly difficult and uncomfortable because 72 00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:16,799 Speaker 1: we've got to go there for that long. We're spending 73 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:20,920 Speaker 1: more than half of our waking hours in the workplace. 74 00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:25,200 Speaker 1: So I want to address work life balance in a 75 00:04:25,279 --> 00:04:29,480 Speaker 1: new interesting way today. And often we think of it 76 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:33,120 Speaker 1: as work causes me stress, my home life has to 77 00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:35,880 Speaker 1: be easier. But then we come home and we've realized 78 00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:39,719 Speaker 1: there's stress at home. Maybe we're arguing with our partner, 79 00:04:39,839 --> 00:04:44,159 Speaker 1: maybe we're irritable, the dishes are not cleaned, maybe there's 80 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:48,400 Speaker 1: stuff breaking down. Maybe there's so many other health challenges 81 00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:51,080 Speaker 1: that are coming about. So what ends up happening is 82 00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:54,000 Speaker 1: that we have stress at work and stress at home 83 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:58,200 Speaker 1: and neither tend to slow down or become easier. The 84 00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:00,360 Speaker 1: first thing I want to raise with you is that 85 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:07,120 Speaker 1: work becomes harder and more stressful when we're not growing 86 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:12,920 Speaker 1: or learning at work or about work. So what's really 87 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:18,000 Speaker 1: interesting is that there's this idea called eudemonic happiness. And 88 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:21,919 Speaker 1: the word eudemonic comes from the word udemonia in Greek, 89 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:27,960 Speaker 1: which means good spirit and commonly translated as happiness. It's 90 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:31,159 Speaker 1: a beautiful word. I really love how poeticut is as well. 91 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:35,920 Speaker 1: But the idea of eudemonic happiness is that we derive 92 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:41,320 Speaker 1: happiness from optimal functioning and reaching our potential. These can 93 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:44,520 Speaker 1: be really great sources of happiness. It's almost like the 94 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:48,040 Speaker 1: joy that you feel or the fulfillment that you feel 95 00:05:48,279 --> 00:05:51,080 Speaker 1: when you finish something, when you get over the finish line, 96 00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:56,560 Speaker 1: when you complete something. And we've forgotten that, we've forgotten that. 97 00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:58,240 Speaker 1: We are trying to think of work as something like 98 00:05:58,240 --> 00:05:59,520 Speaker 1: I need to get it done, need to get it 99 00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:02,400 Speaker 1: out of the way, over avoiding work because there's a 100 00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:05,880 Speaker 1: new challenge, there's a new stress. But actually so much 101 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:11,440 Speaker 1: of our well being comes from accomplishing things at work, 102 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:16,560 Speaker 1: feeling validated at work, feeling heard at work, feeling like 103 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:19,359 Speaker 1: we have an impact at work. These are all important 104 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:22,040 Speaker 1: parts of our well being, and I think today one 105 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:25,480 Speaker 1: of the biggest reasons we're disengaged from work is we 106 00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:28,719 Speaker 1: see work as a source of stress and we hope 107 00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:32,560 Speaker 1: that home life is better. But stress will not disappear 108 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:34,839 Speaker 1: by trying to run away from work or trying to 109 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:40,359 Speaker 1: shut it off. It actually comes from connecting meaningfully at work. 110 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:44,960 Speaker 1: So the goal is, how can we look at the 111 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:47,320 Speaker 1: work you've got going on right now and ask yourself, 112 00:06:47,839 --> 00:06:51,000 Speaker 1: not how do I just deal with the stress, but 113 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:55,480 Speaker 1: what skills don't I have that would make work easier. 114 00:06:56,040 --> 00:07:01,119 Speaker 1: I really really learned this the hard way. I realized that, 115 00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:04,480 Speaker 1: you know, I've never built big teams. I've worked with 116 00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:07,600 Speaker 1: small teams. But as my company continues to grow, whether 117 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:10,040 Speaker 1: it's the podcast, whether it's my wife and I his 118 00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:13,080 Speaker 1: tea company Joyo, whether it's writing more books that I 119 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:15,520 Speaker 1: really want to do, whether it's our genius community and 120 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:18,840 Speaker 1: our certification school, we have so many things going on, 121 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:22,280 Speaker 1: and I realized that one of my biggest weaknesses that 122 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:26,240 Speaker 1: was causing stress. See, your strengths don't cause stress, your 123 00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:29,880 Speaker 1: weaknesses cause stress. One of my weaknesses was I didn't 124 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:32,320 Speaker 1: know how to build teams. I didn't how to lead teams. 125 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:35,640 Speaker 1: And you can't just assume that because you have some 126 00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:38,480 Speaker 1: ideas and insights and you're focused on something that you 127 00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:40,760 Speaker 1: just know how to do everything. And so I found 128 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:44,120 Speaker 1: that the last two years I invested heavily in having 129 00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:48,240 Speaker 1: a leadership coach, in reading leadership books, in sitting with 130 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:52,640 Speaker 1: really successful leaders and interviewing them and asking them questions. 131 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:57,320 Speaker 1: What that did is it made my weakness as strength. Now, 132 00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:01,000 Speaker 1: so much of my stress is decreased because I built 133 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:09,840 Speaker 1: a skill. Remember this, Skills decrease stress. Weaknesses increase stress. Right, 134 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:14,160 Speaker 1: skills decrease stress. When you're skilled, your stress gets lowered 135 00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:17,520 Speaker 1: because you know you can handle it right. You believe 136 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:20,320 Speaker 1: you can handle it. You trust that you can handle 137 00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:23,720 Speaker 1: and navigate whatever's being thrown at you. And so you 138 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:26,080 Speaker 1: demonic happiness is something that I really want you to 139 00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:30,560 Speaker 1: think about. It's that are you realizing your potential at work? 140 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:33,480 Speaker 1: Are you creating a growth plan at work? Have you 141 00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:37,560 Speaker 1: identified the added skills that you need to develop and 142 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:40,720 Speaker 1: learn that are going to make you feel more fulfilled 143 00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:43,840 Speaker 1: at work? For example, let's say you struggle with giving 144 00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:47,720 Speaker 1: a presentation and you're always scared about that. Naturally, you're 145 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:49,680 Speaker 1: going to become more shy at work, You're going to 146 00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:52,719 Speaker 1: become more closed off. But now, guess what, You're going 147 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:55,440 Speaker 1: to start to notice that other people are giving preferential 148 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:58,920 Speaker 1: treatment because they do like presentations. You're starting to feel 149 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:02,120 Speaker 1: like you're falling behind all of a sudden. Work is 150 00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:05,440 Speaker 1: a source of stress. Or you're someone who's looking at 151 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:08,040 Speaker 1: work and just thinking, wow, like too much is demanded 152 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:11,040 Speaker 1: of me, too much is expected of me. But if 153 00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:12,760 Speaker 1: you just look at that for a second and think, well, 154 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:15,160 Speaker 1: wait a minute, maybe there's a skill that if I learned, 155 00:09:15,559 --> 00:09:19,839 Speaker 1: like timeboxing, like a specific time management tool, or maybe 156 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:23,520 Speaker 1: there's a particular software that's going to make me more 157 00:09:23,559 --> 00:09:27,360 Speaker 1: effective and more productive at work, and in turn, that 158 00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:32,439 Speaker 1: productivity and effectiveness is going to lead to satisfaction and fulfillment. 159 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:37,000 Speaker 1: So don't underestimate how much work, just as it's a 160 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:40,439 Speaker 1: cause of stress, can actually be a source of strength 161 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:45,320 Speaker 1: and fulfillment because you feel validated in your efforts and 162 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:50,320 Speaker 1: what you achieve. The idea of achievement and accomplishment is 163 00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:53,120 Speaker 1: not about the ego of getting there or showing off. 164 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:59,800 Speaker 1: It's biological right. The chemicals released during achievement and fulfillment. 165 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:04,160 Speaker 1: Completion of a task help us feel happier. And this 166 00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:08,000 Speaker 1: second point reaffirms the first. People who feel they have 167 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:11,400 Speaker 1: a good work life balance work twenty one percent harder 168 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:15,240 Speaker 1: than those who don't. And that's mind blowing, right. You 169 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:17,040 Speaker 1: think that if you had a work life balance, then 170 00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:20,839 Speaker 1: that means everything's equal. Actually, those who feel like they 171 00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:23,920 Speaker 1: have a healthy balance, they actually work harder. They apply 172 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:27,360 Speaker 1: themselves more because studies show that we can handle more 173 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:31,200 Speaker 1: stress when it feels meaningful, when it feels productive, when 174 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:34,360 Speaker 1: it feels like we're achieving something, we can push ourselves. 175 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,040 Speaker 1: So I want to ask you what's a goal. The 176 00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:38,840 Speaker 1: first question was what's a skill that you need to learn? 177 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:41,400 Speaker 1: The second is what's a challenge you're going to set yourself. 178 00:10:41,679 --> 00:10:43,959 Speaker 1: What's a goal at work that you want to reach. 179 00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:47,319 Speaker 1: What's a goal at work that's important to you. What's 180 00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:51,160 Speaker 1: something about work that's meaningful to you to get behind. 181 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:55,160 Speaker 1: I think often we look at our work as our tasks, 182 00:10:55,679 --> 00:10:58,240 Speaker 1: and if we only look at it as tasks, we 183 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:03,040 Speaker 1: limit it to that very small step rather than looking 184 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:06,120 Speaker 1: at the bigger picture of how our work impacts our 185 00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:09,440 Speaker 1: lives and other people's lives. If we're going to be 186 00:11:09,559 --> 00:11:13,400 Speaker 1: there for that long, let's make it fulfilling and meaningful. 187 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:17,920 Speaker 1: Let's not succumb to the feeling that for ten hours 188 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:20,560 Speaker 1: a day, I have to be miserable, stressed and want 189 00:11:20,559 --> 00:11:23,440 Speaker 1: to get out of there, because that mindset sets us 190 00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:26,320 Speaker 1: up for more pain in stress. Now, one of the 191 00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:29,079 Speaker 1: words that became very popular during the pandemic and post 192 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:34,600 Speaker 1: pandemic for workplace was flexibility, and fifty nine percent of 193 00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:38,480 Speaker 1: people in a study reported that flexibility is more important 194 00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:42,240 Speaker 1: to them than salary or other benefits, and seventy seven 195 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:44,760 Speaker 1: percent said they would prefer to work for a company 196 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:48,520 Speaker 1: that gives them the flexibility to work from anywhere rather 197 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:52,800 Speaker 1: than fancy corporate headquarters. But here's the thing. Often we 198 00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:57,960 Speaker 1: use words, and those words don't really communicate what we're 199 00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:02,680 Speaker 1: truly looking for. And they found this through further studies 200 00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:06,000 Speaker 1: where sixty one percent of employees reported that they would 201 00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:09,760 Speaker 1: prefer if management allowed team members to come into the 202 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:12,880 Speaker 1: office when they need to and work from home when 203 00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:16,840 Speaker 1: they need to. And so they've realized that it's not 204 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:21,320 Speaker 1: just flexibility. The real word is autonomy. And so I 205 00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:23,960 Speaker 1: want you to think about these two words. Flexibility means, yeah, 206 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:26,079 Speaker 1: sometimes we can work from home, and sometimes we can 207 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:29,000 Speaker 1: work from the office or a coffee shop or whatever 208 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:32,120 Speaker 1: it may be. Autonomy is I want to make that 209 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:34,640 Speaker 1: choice right, I want to make that choice. I want 210 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:36,880 Speaker 1: to be involved in that choice now. I think that 211 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:39,720 Speaker 1: a healthy workplace has a balance of both of these. 212 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:43,800 Speaker 1: I think there's flexibility, but there's also some autonomy, and 213 00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:48,199 Speaker 1: you'll find people that are trusted more senior in organizations 214 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,360 Speaker 1: as they grow. All people who are very productive and 215 00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:54,720 Speaker 1: effective receive more autonomy. Maybe this is a really healthy 216 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:56,760 Speaker 1: conversation to have with your boss, To have with your 217 00:12:56,800 --> 00:13:01,199 Speaker 1: manager and say, hey, I'm really looking for a sense 218 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:04,040 Speaker 1: of knowing where I can be most productive and effective, 219 00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:06,640 Speaker 1: and why don't we trial it for a month. I 220 00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:10,800 Speaker 1: think this month trial idea is really important because you're 221 00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:12,319 Speaker 1: not saying, Okay, well this is how I want to 222 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:14,040 Speaker 1: work from now, and you're saying, well, let me prove it. 223 00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:16,480 Speaker 1: Let me show that I am more productive and effective 224 00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:19,480 Speaker 1: from these places I think I am. I think often 225 00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:23,280 Speaker 1: employers get scared that when people ask for flexibility and autonomy, 226 00:13:23,559 --> 00:13:25,959 Speaker 1: it means that they're going to work less hard. And 227 00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:28,840 Speaker 1: there's truth and reality in that. But if you're someone 228 00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:32,240 Speaker 1: who's highly self aware, and you can say, oh no, well, actually, 229 00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:35,520 Speaker 1: I know that when I want to be creative, I'm 230 00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:38,480 Speaker 1: more creative in a coffee shop. I know that when 231 00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:41,880 Speaker 1: I'm trying to be effective with the teams, I want 232 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:43,640 Speaker 1: to be in person. I don't want to be on zoom. 233 00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:45,800 Speaker 1: And then I know there's days when I'm stressed out 234 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:47,520 Speaker 1: about my kids and I need to be around them 235 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:50,079 Speaker 1: and I'd rather work from home. Right, That's a really 236 00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:52,360 Speaker 1: healthy way to look at it. Stop trying to make 237 00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:54,080 Speaker 1: these blankets statements where you're like, I just want to 238 00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:56,160 Speaker 1: work from home. I just want to work from the office. 239 00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:58,760 Speaker 1: So I want to work from wherever. It's healthy when 240 00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:00,760 Speaker 1: you think, wait, what's going to make me better at 241 00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:03,040 Speaker 1: work and what's going to make me better at home? 242 00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:05,319 Speaker 1: And so I think what we're really looking for is 243 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:09,200 Speaker 1: autonomy even more than flexibility. Autonomy is the idea that 244 00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:12,560 Speaker 1: we have choice in how we spend our time. Flexibility 245 00:14:12,679 --> 00:14:15,640 Speaker 1: is knowing that there is a bit of both. And 246 00:14:15,679 --> 00:14:18,760 Speaker 1: so I would highly recommend that you have and openly 247 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:21,360 Speaker 1: communicate that. But if you are going to communicate that 248 00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:24,680 Speaker 1: with someone, explain where you're going to spend what time. 249 00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:26,000 Speaker 1: A lot of people will be like, yeah, I want 250 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:28,920 Speaker 1: to choose where I work from, but it's coming from 251 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:31,480 Speaker 1: a place of left the g and trying to do 252 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:35,120 Speaker 1: the least as opposed to do more and give more back. 253 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:38,240 Speaker 1: Now I want to share with you point number four 254 00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:42,440 Speaker 1: is this story that has always stayed with me. It's 255 00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:44,280 Speaker 1: a story that's been told for many, many years. I 256 00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:46,360 Speaker 1: think I've read about it first in The Seven Habits 257 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:50,040 Speaker 1: of Highly Effective People, which is one of my favorite books. 258 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:53,560 Speaker 1: And in this book, there's a story of a person 259 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:57,400 Speaker 1: who takes a job as a woodcutter, and he gets employed, 260 00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:01,160 Speaker 1: and he starts to cut. The person who employs him 261 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:04,120 Speaker 1: sets him on his way, trains him how to use 262 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:07,880 Speaker 1: the saw, and he goes out and the first day 263 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:11,200 Speaker 1: he cuts twenty trees and he thinks, oh, this is amazing. 264 00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:14,880 Speaker 1: This is great. Now. The next couple of days he 265 00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:18,560 Speaker 1: hits the same but a few days later he only 266 00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:22,600 Speaker 1: came back with fifteen trees, and he worked the same hours. 267 00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:25,960 Speaker 1: He put in the same effort. A few days later, 268 00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:30,040 Speaker 1: he only cut ten trees, worked the same hours, put 269 00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:33,320 Speaker 1: in the same effort. A few days later he only 270 00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:36,640 Speaker 1: cut five trees. Worked the same hours, put in the 271 00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:40,320 Speaker 1: same effort, even a little few more hours, even a 272 00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:44,800 Speaker 1: bit more effort, but his effectiveness and impact was going down. 273 00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:50,760 Speaker 1: It was really interesting. The person that hired him said 274 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:53,920 Speaker 1: to him, you know what's happening. What's up? Like, what's 275 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,720 Speaker 1: going on? He went from twenty to five and the 276 00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:59,680 Speaker 1: woodcutter said, I have no idea what's going on? And 277 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,280 Speaker 1: this is the sign of good leadership and management. The 278 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:05,680 Speaker 1: leader of the company, the manager, said, you know what 279 00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:09,760 Speaker 1: it is. It's that you never sharpened your saw. You're 280 00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:12,080 Speaker 1: cutting with the blunt saw. On day one, I gave 281 00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:15,000 Speaker 1: you a sharp saw so you could cut trees with 282 00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:17,600 Speaker 1: that energy and strength. But every day, as you cut 283 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:20,640 Speaker 1: more trees, the blade became more blunt, and the more 284 00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:25,440 Speaker 1: blunt it became, the less impactful it was. So remember 285 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:28,040 Speaker 1: to sharpen the sore. So I ask you all, what 286 00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:30,000 Speaker 1: are you doing to sharpen your sword. This is why 287 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,520 Speaker 1: we do need a break for those of us that 288 00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:33,360 Speaker 1: are on the other end of the spectrum where we 289 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:35,480 Speaker 1: work too hard. We may love what we work, we 290 00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:38,680 Speaker 1: take on all the stress for work. That's not healthy either, 291 00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:42,760 Speaker 1: because now our creativity plummets. Now our productivity plummets. Right, 292 00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:46,120 Speaker 1: it's both extremes. If we're just being lazy and lethargic, 293 00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:48,480 Speaker 1: we don't achieve anything, so we miss out on the 294 00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:52,920 Speaker 1: happiness of accomplishment. And if we're being overproductive and over efficient, 295 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:56,560 Speaker 1: we lose creativity, We lose that spark, we lose that 296 00:16:57,040 --> 00:17:01,400 Speaker 1: intensity and buzz. And so I want to encourage you 297 00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:04,520 Speaker 1: to take time out, to take that break and to 298 00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:08,000 Speaker 1: do things that are refreshing. Things that are refreshing include 299 00:17:08,359 --> 00:17:12,960 Speaker 1: going to sleep early. Things that are refreshing include spending 300 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:16,240 Speaker 1: time with good friends and having deep, vulnerable, open, funny, 301 00:17:16,359 --> 00:17:20,200 Speaker 1: hilarious conversations. Things that are good for you in that 302 00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:26,159 Speaker 1: scenario include having sensory deprivation. I really believe one of 303 00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:30,000 Speaker 1: the things that I like to do here is something 304 00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:33,080 Speaker 1: called a sensory deprivation tank, which is basically like this 305 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:37,520 Speaker 1: capsule which you sit inside. You're floating in water which 306 00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:42,080 Speaker 1: has magnesium in it, and it's really therapeutic, really relaxing. 307 00:17:42,119 --> 00:17:47,080 Speaker 1: The goal of it is to be completely reducing stimulation 308 00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:51,119 Speaker 1: and sensory overload. Now you can do that yourself. It 309 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:53,480 Speaker 1: may be at bath, it may be sitting in a 310 00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:56,640 Speaker 1: quiet room in your home, it's just allowing your senses 311 00:17:56,680 --> 00:18:01,239 Speaker 1: to not constantly be triggered by adverts, by messages, notifications. Right, 312 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:04,840 Speaker 1: if you're feeling that overwhelm, it's coming because we're not 313 00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:08,639 Speaker 1: having this sensory deprivation. When I go to India, I 314 00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:12,639 Speaker 1: always take people to Rishikas, which is at the foothills 315 00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:16,199 Speaker 1: of the Himalayas, and we often go to meditate in 316 00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:18,560 Speaker 1: the caves there. And the reason why, I mean, it 317 00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:21,280 Speaker 1: sounds cool, right, but the caves are really powerful because 318 00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:24,720 Speaker 1: it's sensory deprivation. When you walk into a cave and 319 00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:27,680 Speaker 1: you just walk in maybe even ten twenty thirty meters deep, 320 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:32,280 Speaker 1: you can't see anything, right, it's dark, it's still, it's silent. 321 00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:36,800 Speaker 1: Our senses need that more than ever today because from 322 00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:38,679 Speaker 1: the moment you wake up to the moment you go 323 00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:44,920 Speaker 1: to bed, you're being bombarded with news, noise, notifications, and negativity. 324 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:47,919 Speaker 1: So we need time in our day, even if you 325 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:51,280 Speaker 1: don't meditate or you don't know how to spend time 326 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:56,919 Speaker 1: where your senses are not constantly being triggered and demanded. Okay, 327 00:18:57,040 --> 00:19:02,840 Speaker 1: point number five is the great outdoors. We've heard this 328 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:07,840 Speaker 1: time and time again that it's important to spend time outdoors, 329 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:13,600 Speaker 1: especially in green spaces, and a RESET study found that 330 00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:18,920 Speaker 1: people who take short breaks in nature improve their performance 331 00:19:19,119 --> 00:19:22,520 Speaker 1: by twenty percent compared with those who went on a 332 00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:25,080 Speaker 1: walk in a busy urban area. Now, I know that's 333 00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:27,640 Speaker 1: tough in certain cities, but even if you can get 334 00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:31,240 Speaker 1: to a small park or a larger park if possible, 335 00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:35,679 Speaker 1: or a hike or whatever, surrounds yourself with trees and nature. 336 00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:38,480 Speaker 1: And the reason for this links to the last point 337 00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:42,440 Speaker 1: I was making as well, is that natural environments actually 338 00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:46,159 Speaker 1: replenish your brain, whereas urban ones require your brain to 339 00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:50,159 Speaker 1: stay alert, which drains your mental resources. If you think 340 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:52,640 Speaker 1: about that for a second. Right, when you're walking down 341 00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:54,800 Speaker 1: a road, you have to think about traffic, you're looking 342 00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:57,880 Speaker 1: at the stores, someone may say something weird or look 343 00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:00,600 Speaker 1: at you different. Right, you've got all these alerts, whereas 344 00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:03,160 Speaker 1: when you're in nature. I went from my morning hike, 345 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:05,439 Speaker 1: I may say good morning to a few people on 346 00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:07,800 Speaker 1: the way that I bump into, but beyond that I 347 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:11,760 Speaker 1: can just absorb the green in nature. So what I 348 00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:23,000 Speaker 1: recommend you do is every hour five minutes, three things. Walk, water, window, 349 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:26,000 Speaker 1: get up and walk, even if it's indoors, If you 350 00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:29,920 Speaker 1: can get outdoors, do it. Walk to a window if 351 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:33,120 Speaker 1: you can't get outdoors, and look out as far as possible, 352 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,840 Speaker 1: as far into the distance till your eyes can hopefully 353 00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:39,080 Speaker 1: spot some green And if they can't spot some greens, 354 00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:41,560 Speaker 1: just look into the sky. And the third is water 355 00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:44,960 Speaker 1: to hydrate. If you can do that five minutes on 356 00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,960 Speaker 1: every hour, I promise you the rest of those fifty 357 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:51,720 Speaker 1: five minutes will be a lot easier. And it's even 358 00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:55,800 Speaker 1: more important because, according to the ergonomics team at Cornell University, 359 00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:59,480 Speaker 1: sitting for longer than twenty minutes has negative effects on 360 00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:03,359 Speaker 1: your body, including back and neck problems, which we all 361 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:07,280 Speaker 1: know about, right We've all experienced this, And research shows 362 00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:11,440 Speaker 1: that stand up desks can boost productivity and cognitive function, 363 00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:16,119 Speaker 1: and standing up helps you burn calories, it helps you 364 00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:22,639 Speaker 1: stretch out, increases blood flow, and engages your core, your glutes, 365 00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:27,080 Speaker 1: and your leg muscles so you're fully present and even 366 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,560 Speaker 1: do hit a little bit of a workout. And so 367 00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:33,480 Speaker 1: the idea of twenty minutes, and it's not natural, right, Like, 368 00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:36,720 Speaker 1: even while I'm recording this podcast, I'm sitting for most 369 00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:39,240 Speaker 1: of it. And so even if every hour you can 370 00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:42,840 Speaker 1: get up for five minutes and stretch, as I said, 371 00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:47,840 Speaker 1: walk water window, and remember that it starts breaking up 372 00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:51,160 Speaker 1: these patterns and breaking up these bad habits that we've 373 00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:55,520 Speaker 1: developed and that just become a part of our everyday life. 374 00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:58,160 Speaker 1: And so we can even find that balance in our 375 00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:01,320 Speaker 1: work day. Now, one of the things that a lot 376 00:22:01,359 --> 00:22:06,160 Speaker 1: of us are experiencing is brain fog, and I hope 377 00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:09,119 Speaker 1: this one really resonates with a lot of you. I 378 00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:11,040 Speaker 1: think for a lot of us, one of the biggest 379 00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:14,879 Speaker 1: reasons why we feel stressed from our tasks and work 380 00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:18,240 Speaker 1: is that work is plastered everywhere. Maybe you have posted 381 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:20,960 Speaker 1: everywhere where, maybe you have notes everywhere, maybe you have 382 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:24,679 Speaker 1: you know, just multiple documents open, multiple tabs open. And 383 00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:27,760 Speaker 1: what we realize is that the brain is just not 384 00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:29,880 Speaker 1: good at dealing with a lot of things. Right, when 385 00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:32,959 Speaker 1: you're experiencing, even if you're not feeling stressed, you can 386 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:35,280 Speaker 1: deal with up to seven things only, and when you 387 00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:37,600 Speaker 1: are stressed, you can only deal with three things. Right. 388 00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:41,120 Speaker 1: Our ability to deal with more stressful things diminishes by 389 00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:44,920 Speaker 1: more than half. And so if you've got stuff everywhere 390 00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:48,280 Speaker 1: and it's not organized, it starts to create a lot 391 00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:53,879 Speaker 1: of untidiness externally and internally. Now, most successful people and 392 00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:57,320 Speaker 1: productive people don't even use to do lists. They have 393 00:22:57,520 --> 00:23:00,520 Speaker 1: scheduled tasks. So one of the things that I use 394 00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:03,840 Speaker 1: is time boxing, where all the tasks are already in 395 00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:06,199 Speaker 1: my calendar, and so I can just open up my 396 00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:08,040 Speaker 1: calendar every day and look at what I have to 397 00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:09,919 Speaker 1: do next. I don't have to think about what I 398 00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:11,680 Speaker 1: have to do next. I don't have to plan for 399 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:15,000 Speaker 1: how long it will take. So switch away from to 400 00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:18,760 Speaker 1: do lists and switch towards time boxing, right to do 401 00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:20,720 Speaker 1: list or a thing of the past, because the problem 402 00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:23,280 Speaker 1: is you make it to do list, then you're trying 403 00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:25,119 Speaker 1: to decide, well, which one do I do next? You 404 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:27,480 Speaker 1: wasted time. Then you think, well, how long is that 405 00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:30,280 Speaker 1: going to take? I don't know. You wasted time. Even 406 00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:32,520 Speaker 1: if you ticked off everything off your to do list, 407 00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:36,239 Speaker 1: there's always more to do and it feels overwhelming. And 408 00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:37,960 Speaker 1: if you don't tick off things off your to do 409 00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:41,000 Speaker 1: list because you didn't give yourself a certain amount of time, 410 00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:45,440 Speaker 1: sometimes tasks that shouldn't take that long get extended for 411 00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:48,560 Speaker 1: such a long period of time. And so I really 412 00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:51,360 Speaker 1: want you to consider the practice of time boxing. I'll 413 00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:54,240 Speaker 1: do a whole session on it as well, hopefully sooner. 414 00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:57,560 Speaker 1: But time boxing is basically the idea that every Sunday 415 00:23:57,600 --> 00:23:59,480 Speaker 1: you sit down and you look at what you have 416 00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:02,119 Speaker 1: to achieve the week ahead, and you actually put it 417 00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:05,000 Speaker 1: in the calendar and give it a set amount of time. 418 00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:08,480 Speaker 1: So you have only two hours to record a podcast 419 00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:11,919 Speaker 1: in script here, you have only one hour to have 420 00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:14,560 Speaker 1: a meeting, or thirty minutes to have this meeting. You 421 00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:17,680 Speaker 1: don't just move with oh yeah, I'll go for lunch 422 00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:19,600 Speaker 1: and maybe it'll be four hours, maybe it won't, maybe 423 00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:22,680 Speaker 1: I'll get this done, because then you lose that feeling 424 00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:26,160 Speaker 1: of fulfillment and accomplishment. I want to share with you 425 00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:30,280 Speaker 1: one last thing on today's episode, and I hope this 426 00:24:30,359 --> 00:24:32,600 Speaker 1: really hits you, and I hope it really helps you 427 00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:37,240 Speaker 1: focus on the relationships at work as much as the work. 428 00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:40,200 Speaker 1: One of the reasons why work is stressful is because 429 00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:43,000 Speaker 1: we don't trust people and they don't trust us. It's 430 00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:46,840 Speaker 1: stressful because we haven't built community. It's harder because we 431 00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:49,359 Speaker 1: don't have relationships and people don't want to help and 432 00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:54,080 Speaker 1: support us. And so don't be negligent or neglectful of 433 00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:57,320 Speaker 1: people at work because you think, hey, it pays the bills. 434 00:24:57,320 --> 00:25:00,680 Speaker 1: I took care of it. I'm out because that actually 435 00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:03,359 Speaker 1: makes it harder. So I hope today has given you 436 00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:05,040 Speaker 1: a different view. I didn't want to just give you 437 00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:07,320 Speaker 1: a bunch of wellbeing tips, which you already know. I 438 00:25:07,359 --> 00:25:10,159 Speaker 1: know you practice those, but I actually wanted to change 439 00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:13,600 Speaker 1: your relationship with work. And I promise you if you 440 00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:17,200 Speaker 1: took notes today, share them on Instagram, pass this along 441 00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:19,680 Speaker 1: to our friend, discuss how you can do this with 442 00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:22,919 Speaker 1: each other, and I'll see you on another episode of 443 00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:25,720 Speaker 1: On Purpose. Thank you so much. I hope that you 444 00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:28,240 Speaker 1: go and grab my new book, Eight Rules of Love 445 00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:30,760 Speaker 1: at eight Rules of Love dot com, and come and 446 00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:33,720 Speaker 1: see me on tour at Jshy tour dot com. I'm 447 00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:36,440 Speaker 1: bringing love to a city near you. I cannot wait. 448 00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:37,120 Speaker 1: Thank you.