Speaker 1: Cool Zone Media, Dinah Wars, Dinah Wars, Dinah Wars. Hello
Speaker 1: and welcome to the Cool Zoned Media book Club, the
Speaker 1: only book club where you don't have to do the
Speaker 1: reading because I do it for you. I'm your host,
Speaker 1: Margaret Kiljoy. And as you've probably noticed, over the past
Speaker 1: couple months on book Club, we've been doing podcasts from
Speaker 1: the future, specifically from the Dinah Wars of the twenty
Speaker 1: fifties and without additional ADO? Would you hate those words
Speaker 1: that you only ever use in one way, like, no
Speaker 1: one ever talks about ado unless it's much ado or
Speaker 1: additional AD. That's the only a do that's available now. Whatever, Anyway,
Speaker 1: here's the podcast we received from the future. Hello, it's
Speaker 1: Cool Zone twenty fifty five How to Survive the Dinah Wars,
Speaker 1: and we are still hearing from Mixed bunny Face Murder
Speaker 1: about their experiences behind the Iron Curtain in Iberia. If
Speaker 1: you would like to be part of breaking that iron
Speaker 1: curtain and rescuing the Narcosyndicus territory of Catalonia, you can
Speaker 1: become part of the solution by contacting this show's most
Speaker 1: generous sponsor, Dino Cadence. That's right, the dinosaur dance troupe
Speaker 1: that pivoted is becoming the most popular dino writing trainers
Speaker 1: in the world because all of us, whatever we do
Speaker 1: for a living, can pivot into the fight against fascism.
Speaker 1: Admission is free, but spots are limited. So contact Dino
Speaker 1: Cadence today and here is mixed bunny face murder. People
Speaker 1: always say the next day dawned bright and early, as
Speaker 1: if the dawn didn't always involve brightness, and as if
Speaker 1: we don't define early by when the sun comes up.
Speaker 1: It bothers me lazy writing. Life is too short for
Speaker 1: lazy writing, especially my life, which seems like it's going
Speaker 1: to be way shorter than I had initially hoped. The
Speaker 1: battle had been exciting, the funeral had been fascinating, the
Speaker 1: sects had been spellbinding. But when the sun crept over
Speaker 1: the mountains of Catalonia, I felt spectacularly terrifyingly alone. I
Speaker 1: left Octavia's tent and began to wander around the Dreadnought camp.
Speaker 1: Only the dinos, the dino minders, and the night Watch
Speaker 1: were awake, and they were all busy. What thoughts lie
Speaker 1: inside those big, strange dino brains? A shipment of hay
Speaker 1: came first thing in the morning, pulled by a dinosaur. Look.
Speaker 1: I can't tell all the bronto looking species apart, okay,
Speaker 1: but it was a bronto looking one, and that dinosaur
Speaker 1: was pulling a wagon the size of a barn, and
Speaker 1: the beasts began to eat. Most of the time I
Speaker 1: can lose myself in the work. I would have asked
Speaker 1: details of the minders about the economics of feeding such
Speaker 1: massive herbivores in war, especially war of mass casualty. Feeding
Speaker 1: the omnivores and the carnivores is kind of easy. But
Speaker 1: I couldn't focus on my work. The high of the
Speaker 1: battle was long past, and I was just scared. It
Speaker 1: threatened to overwhelm me. And a few times it did,
Speaker 1: coming in waves like a panic attack, like I'd been
Speaker 1: taught in elementary school. I fell back on the litany
Speaker 1: against fear. I let the fear come over me and
Speaker 1: through me, and I turned my eye to see where
Speaker 1: it had gone. But that morning the fear kept coming,
Speaker 1: so I fell back on the other trick I know, journaling.
Speaker 1: I have lived as good of a life as anyone
Speaker 1: has been able to live in this war ravaged climate,
Speaker 1: ravage century, this century that has proven the center cannot hold,
Speaker 1: this century that has brought out the worst and the
Speaker 1: best in humanity. I'm alive for now, Let's be honest.
Speaker 1: By the time you hear this, I will probably be
Speaker 1: dead and live to see the great worldwide Revolution. You
Speaker 1: can't see this since it's an audio medium, but there
Speaker 1: are capital letters starting those words worldwide and revolution, and
Speaker 1: I mean them somewhere between earnestly and ironically, like anyone
Speaker 1: means anything these days. The worldwide revolution is the big
Speaker 1: grand thing We've been fighting for forever, and more formally,
Speaker 1: since the eighteen forties or so. Wherever empire and colonialism
Speaker 1: has spread out of Europe, a little seed, a little
Speaker 1: antibody has gone with it, whispered words and pamphlets and
Speaker 1: shouted words in labor union halls. Whatever the empire marches,
Speaker 1: so does the counter empire. So does the hope for decolonization,
Speaker 1: for internationalism, for all of us to join siblings of
Speaker 1: the world, to share the bounty of the earth. I'm
Speaker 1: feeling Maudlin. If I'm being honest. I'm usually a bit
Speaker 1: more cynical, a bit more detached, But revolution is earnest.
Speaker 1: You have to say, we should each give according to ability,
Speaker 1: to each according to day need, and then mean it
Speaker 1: so completely that you can jump off the neck of
Speaker 1: a DREADNAUGHTUS six gun blazing, machete clenched beneath your teeth.
Speaker 1: You've got to earnestly watch those old movies like that
Speaker 1: damn Lord of the Rings everyone here keeps talking about,
Speaker 1: and think to yourself, Yeah, a red day, a sword day.
Speaker 1: You've got to think to yourself, death, death, death. It's
Speaker 1: fucked up, really, because the whole fucking point is we're
Speaker 1: trying to destroy the death machine, and we're doing it
Speaker 1: so fucking violently. I'd say the pacifists have a point,
Speaker 1: but I'm not sure that they do. I spent three
Speaker 1: weeks in Frederick, Maryland, tending to the survivors of the
Speaker 1: Humboldon massacre of forty nine. If fascism is not stopped,
Speaker 1: it will murder all of us. I think over and
Speaker 1: over again about the American Civil War. I have ancestors
Speaker 1: who fought for the North, both white ancestors and black ancestors.
Speaker 1: I have white ancestors who fought for the South, who
Speaker 1: killed people to defend the most evil institution in the
Speaker 1: history of the world. Western chattel slavery. Family lore says
Speaker 1: we've got a maroon in our blood too, who led
Speaker 1: gorilla raids from the great Dismal Swamp. I don't know
Speaker 1: if that's true. I like to believe it. For centuries,
Speaker 1: people had tried in more subtle waste end slavery, outbursts
Speaker 1: of violence and outbursts of legislative activity. Lots of people
Speaker 1: put a lot of work into changing hearts and mind
Speaker 1: and culture. Ten or twelve million people lived in slavery,
Speaker 1: all told in the history of that terrible country, and
Speaker 1: what it took to free them was nearly three quarters
Speaker 1: of a million dead bodies. I wish some sins did
Speaker 1: not need to be washed away in blood. Two of
Speaker 1: my ancestors at least fought in World War Two as well.
Speaker 1: They couldn't have hung out with each other, because even
Speaker 1: in World War II, the American units were segregated. The
Speaker 1: white man, my great great grandfather's, died somewhere in France.
Speaker 1: The black man, a different great great something or other
Speaker 1: survived and was forever transformed. Together, those two destroyed fascism
Speaker 1: as a political force for nearly one hundred years. Fifty
Speaker 1: to eighty five million people died in that war, all
Speaker 1: of which is nothing, fucking nothing compared to World War three,
Speaker 1: and it's billion dead. We don't have an accurate count
Speaker 1: on World War three point five, not yet. Maybe you
Speaker 1: out there listening from behind the Iron curtain, maybe you do.
Speaker 1: I've seen claims of fifteen million, and I've seen claims
Speaker 1: of a billion. But we are not done yet, and
Speaker 1: I don't like it. The thing that I hold on to, though,
Speaker 1: the one thing that the Fanato Nihilists have right, is
Speaker 1: that none of us were going to get out of
Speaker 1: this live anyway. Being alive is a death sentence. All
Speaker 1: we can do is try to live well and die well.
Speaker 1: There are two good deaths. Someone told me around the
Speaker 1: fire last night. You can die fighting for a better world,
Speaker 1: or you can die in bed. In that better world,
Speaker 1: we're guaranteed a death. The Dreadnoughts want to die fighting.
Speaker 1: I want to die in bed. I sort of wish
Speaker 1: I didn't, because frankly, I probably won't. If I'm lucky,
Speaker 1: I'll die violently and fast. If I'm not lucky, I'll
Speaker 1: die violently and slow, or I'll be captured. And the
Speaker 1: Iberian Phalanx does terrible things to their prisoners. Maybe I'll
Speaker 1: hit up the armorer for one of those cyanide capsules.
Speaker 1: Just knowing my luck, I'd keep it in my gums
Speaker 1: during battle and bite it by accident. When people glorify war,
Speaker 1: they rarely talk about all the people who die by accident,
Speaker 1: who die in helicopter crashes, who are gunned down by
Speaker 1: friendly fire. Imagine being the poor son of a bit
Speaker 1: who shot De Rudy in the First Spanish Civil War.
Speaker 1: But you know what else is inevitable besides death advertising.
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Speaker 1: we're back. I didn't get a chance to wallow too long,
Speaker 1: because eventually the Dreadnought camp began to rise, hangovers and
Speaker 1: bangovers were visible on most faces, but overall morale seemed high.
Speaker 1: The great thing and sometimes terrible thing about morale is
Speaker 1: that it is infectious. Octavia found me, slapped me on
Speaker 1: the butt, and said, another beautiful day in the Core.
Speaker 1: Every meal is a banquet, every paycheck of fortune. I
Speaker 1: love the Core. I was fucking a movie nerd, a
Speaker 1: doomed movie nerd with a death wish and an ancient
Speaker 1: air fifteen and cheap pirate style cutlass, both of which
Speaker 1: had spilled blood the day before, which is actually kind
Speaker 1: of cool. She was wrong about the meal being a banquet,
Speaker 1: though it was musely just dry, musely the human food
Speaker 1: equivalent of the hay that the dinos were eating. Listen
Speaker 1: up in older Dreadnought shouted in Cotilan, and then in
Speaker 1: heavily accented English for the international fighters. He wore colorful
Speaker 1: late Renaissance brigandine armor with a Napoleon hat on his head.
Speaker 1: I'd assumed the hat just sort of a joke, but
Speaker 1: actually it indicated some kind of rank. We've got word
Speaker 1: from the pterodactyl scouts that what's left of the enemy
Speaker 1: is hold up licking their wounds in the woods about
Speaker 1: three clicks north of here. We can't abandon this position completely,
Speaker 1: so most of the main camp is going to stay put.
Speaker 1: But you'd better believe we volunteered the Dreadnoughts to go
Speaker 1: wipe them out finish up the job. The whole camp
Speaker 1: broke into a roar. Then the Napoleon guy raised his
Speaker 1: fist and everyone was immediately silent. Normally this is the
Speaker 1: kind of raid better done at night, but they're wounded
Speaker 1: and they're on their back foot. Finish your food, kiss
Speaker 1: your loved ones, and suit up. A couple unit of
Speaker 1: fag Hags are coming with us. I guess to see
Speaker 1: how it's done, and as soon as they're here, we're
Speaker 1: heading out. The whole camp was awash with joy and cheering.
Speaker 1: People started singing annoying ren fair style singing body songs
Speaker 1: and shit swords held in the air above their heads.
Speaker 1: I caught songs sung in Arabic, Kurdish, Catalan, English, Italian,
Speaker 1: and German. The Dreadnoughts are somehow maybe the purest distillation
Speaker 1: of internationalism. Most people stay in units united by language.
Speaker 1: The Dreadnoughts are united by their commitment to a short
Speaker 1: life span. Rationally, I knew that going into battle with
Speaker 1: them was a bad IDEA reckless lack of self preservation
Speaker 1: is their defining characteristic. But sometimes when all your friends
Speaker 1: are jumping off a bridge, you think to yourself, I'd
Speaker 1: rather die jumping off this bridge than live my life
Speaker 1: questioning my own bravery. I don't know if that's what
Speaker 1: you should think, but sometimes you think that it's normally
Speaker 1: a fine thing to think, because normally you're surrounded by
Speaker 1: friends who only jump off bridges that they assume are
Speaker 1: safe to jump off of. But it was better not
Speaker 1: to think too much on that and look spoiler alert,
Speaker 1: I wrote this whole script, so I'm clearly still alive
Speaker 1: to write I don't die in the fighting. Everyone else,
Speaker 1: though the thag Hags arrived. It was the Eldian wall,
Speaker 1: the click that spoke Elvish amongst itself. I was disappointed
Speaker 1: to not have more friends with me, But you don't
Speaker 1: go into battle to make friends who do it to
Speaker 1: write podcast episodes. What a fucking weird job I have.
Speaker 1: I caught a ride on a dreadnaughtus alongside the rest
Speaker 1: of the Dreadnoughts. Octavia said she wasn't going to ride
Speaker 1: with me because she wasn't there to keep me safe.
Speaker 1: She was there to kill Nazis and probably die. This
Speaker 1: did not comfort me. They travel on those platforms built
Speaker 1: onto the backs of those giant beasts, and it felt
Speaker 1: more like sailing through a storm than riding a horse.
Speaker 1: You don't disguise the stampede of the largest creatures to
Speaker 1: ever walk the earth, So our only hope for surprise
Speaker 1: was speed. Dreadnaughtus and Stegosauruses aren't the fastest creatures. But
Speaker 1: we made a decent clip over the hills and into
Speaker 1: the forest beyond. We thought we had the enemy outnumbered
Speaker 1: and out maneuvered. Turns out it was an ambush. We
Speaker 1: made it deep into the trees, all the way to
Speaker 1: the little Nazi camp before we met resistance. I was
Speaker 1: near the rear of the dino parade, so I didn't
Speaker 1: get a great look at the camp. Seemed to be
Speaker 1: about one hundred tenths with some makeshift palisades and two
Speaker 1: machine gun nests. The nests opened up right away, but
Speaker 1: RPGs from the dreadnoughts silenced them quick Then the enemy
Speaker 1: encircled us. This wasn't the remnants of the force we'd
Speaker 1: taken on the day before. This was something new, not
Speaker 1: just fresh reinforcements, but something new and something horrible, some
Speaker 1: nightmares concocted in a Nazi lap. First came the screamers,
Speaker 1: of course, but behind them wasn't a line of zombies.
Speaker 1: Behind them were monsters, things made of flesh and vine,
Speaker 1: some unholy union of squid, giant and tree. Each face
Speaker 1: at the top of the strange trunk was made from
Speaker 1: a dozen or more people, all of them suffering, all
Speaker 1: of them screaming, all of them united in rage. These
Speaker 1: hell beasts, demon ents. I feel like I'm responsible for
Speaker 1: naming these things, but I don't. I don't know where
Speaker 1: to begin. Walk towards us on trunk and leg in tentacle.
Speaker 1: Someone on my platform opened fire with a belt fed gun,
Speaker 1: and bark and blood poured out of the creature near us,
Speaker 1: but it kept lumbering and stumbling towards us. A cheer
Speaker 1: a shout broke out across the Dreadnought ranks. A collective
Speaker 1: death rattle, war horns blew, and Dreadnoughts jumped to the
Speaker 1: earth with axe and gun to do battle with the
Speaker 1: nightmare in the distance. I saw Octavia with her cutlass
Speaker 1: climbing one of the creatures. I don't know what happened
Speaker 1: to her. I likely never will. A massive tentacle lashed
Speaker 1: out and struck the platform I was on, and it
Speaker 1: tumbled to the ground, right into the sweet sweet deals
Speaker 1: of our sponsors. Are you tired of all the doom
Speaker 1: and gloom in the news, wishing you could just turn
Speaker 1: your head away from what's happening and get back to
Speaker 1: brunch with your friends. Well, this podcast is brought to
Speaker 1: you by Too Fucking Bad. The world is full of
Speaker 1: terror and horror right now, but it's also full of
Speaker 1: rampant beauty, and you can't stick your head in the sand. Sure,
Speaker 1: you can absolutely rely on escapism to pull you out
Speaker 1: of the cycle of stress, but if you're avoiding paying
Speaker 1: attention to the news, stop pay attention to the news.
Speaker 1: There is a worldwide struggle against fascism and climate change,
Speaker 1: and it really, truly will take all of us. This
Speaker 1: podcast is sponsored by the Council for Understanding that Self
Speaker 1: Care is a collective process. Who would like to remind
Speaker 1: you that it's okay to take care of yourself so
Speaker 1: long as you don't ignore what's happening, and so long
Speaker 1: as you don't completely withdraw, but instead imagine yourself as
Speaker 1: part of a holistic process of resistance, and we're back.
Speaker 1: I hit the ground, and that ten weeks of training
Speaker 1: at Dino Cadence really paid off, because I knew how
Speaker 1: to land rough, hitting the ground in a roll to
Speaker 1: absorb some of the impact. No permanent or even lingering damage.
Speaker 1: But the fall was not the end of my danger.
Speaker 1: As soon as I regained my feet, the sever limb
Speaker 1: of somebody hit me in the chest and bowled me
Speaker 1: back over. I stood up again and I saw the fight.
Speaker 1: Zombies were coming out of the woods, walking between the
Speaker 1: legs of the nightmare trees. I swear, if I live
Speaker 1: long enough, I'll name them properly. It was almost a
Speaker 1: relief to see the enemy's mooks, because then I had
Speaker 1: something I could fight. I had my mossberg and several
Speaker 1: gun belts full of shells, and I spent the next
Speaker 1: confused minute shooting dead people in the face to make
Speaker 1: them stop trying to kill me, reloading into the two
Speaker 1: barrel every spare moment I had above me, n RPG
Speaker 1: hit a Cthulhu tree beard. No, that isn't it either
Speaker 1: and snapped it in half. The upper half fell to
Speaker 1: the earth lifeless. The lower half, of legs and tentacles
Speaker 1: kept thrashing, now mindless, taking out Dreadnaughts and zombies alike.
Speaker 1: A Dreadnaughtus reared up on its back legs and then
Speaker 1: stomped what was left of the death Tree into splinter
Speaker 1: and bone. The dinosaur roared. I've never heard a Dreadnaughtus
Speaker 1: roar before, but I suspect that people back at the
Speaker 1: main camp so many clicks away could hear it too.
Speaker 1: I don't know that I've ever heard anything so loud
Speaker 1: or so beautiful. But the nightmares kept marching out of
Speaker 1: the trees, and one by one, and ten by ten,
Speaker 1: the fighters around me got their wish to die in
Speaker 1: the fight against fascism. We were clearly not equipped for
Speaker 1: the fight in front of us. Then the shining conquistadors
Speaker 1: strode out from the dark forest, lances and rifles of
Speaker 1: gleaming like angels of death, come to summon us up
Speaker 1: to a fascist heaven. I hate to give them credit,
Speaker 1: but look, no one has ever accused fascists of failing
Speaker 1: from a fashion point of view, well except the US
Speaker 1: Christian nationalists of the mid twenty twenties, before they settled
Speaker 1: into an unfortunately coherent and effective cowboy vibe. I shot
Speaker 1: one of those shiny fucks right in the chest with buckshot,
Speaker 1: but their breastplates were modern steel and he scarcely noticed.
Speaker 1: So I shot him in the face, and he scarcely noticed,
Speaker 1: but this time it was because he was dead. Then
Speaker 1: someone shot me in the arm, and someone else ran
Speaker 1: a lance into my leg, and I remember thinking, wow,
Speaker 1: I feel like this should hurt more than it does,
Speaker 1: and noticing I no longer had a shotgun, and then
Speaker 1: I was thinking, I guess I'm gonna die. But instead
Speaker 1: of dying, someone with a handgun shot both of my antagonists.
Speaker 1: The battle was lost. That much was clear. Dreadnoughts don't run,
Speaker 1: but they are willing to stubbornly retreat, each arguing with
Speaker 1: the other over who would have the honor of staying
Speaker 1: to the bitter end. Thag Hags though they are brave enough,
Speaker 1: but they're not foolhardy. I saw Stegosaurus and limped towards it.
Speaker 1: While dinosaurs and trees fought a terrible war, while medieval
Speaker 1: knights fought called quistadors, both sides, armed with blade and rifle.
Speaker 1: Somehow I wound up with a handgun in my uninjured hand.
Speaker 1: I probably picked it up off a corpse. I made
Speaker 1: two more people into corpses, then made it to the stegosaurus. Slowly.
Speaker 1: A handful of us made it out of the woods.
Speaker 1: No shared language between us, besides the language of grief
Speaker 1: and anger and anguish. The cavalry was not coming to
Speaker 1: save us, and I limped for kilometers across the hills,
Speaker 1: while behind us dreadnoughts held back those who would have
Speaker 1: hunted us down and killed me. Out of the six
Speaker 1: hundred dreadnaughts he went into those woods, forty four came
Speaker 1: back out. Octavia was not among them. I hope somewhere
Speaker 1: she's happy, or at least resting in death. I hope
Speaker 1: I never see her among the faces embedded into bark
Speaker 1: and bone. I hope I never see her screaming in
Speaker 1: eternal pain. I hope I see her when I die instead,
Speaker 1: and whatever happens next, and whatever dreams may come. I suspect,
Speaker 1: though soon enough, I'll know what dreams come, because, dear listener,
Speaker 1: I don't think I'm going to make it out of
Speaker 1: the iron curtain, not unless you mobilize and break the
Speaker 1: fascist lines. But I suspect, dear listener, that wherever you are,
Speaker 1: you're dealing with fascists of your own. My only hope,
Speaker 1: our only hope, is that we crush them beneath the
Speaker 1: feet of giant lizards, that we smash them, that we
Speaker 1: break them, that with our life and with our death,
Speaker 1: we can destroy the death machine that threatens to envelop
Speaker 1: the world. And that's been uplifting a little bit from
Speaker 1: Mixed bunny Face Murder. You've been listening to Cool Zone
Speaker 1: twenty fifty five how to Survive the Dino Wars, and
Speaker 1: we promise there will be more uplifting the parts of
Speaker 1: this too. It's just I really feel like we owe
Speaker 1: it to Mix Bunny Face Murder to read their whole statement.
Speaker 1: You know, they put a lot of work into getting
Speaker 1: this out, and there's a lot we can learn from it,
Speaker 1: even though again I would like to remind everyone that
Speaker 1: most people do survive any given war. It's just rough.
Speaker 1: Fascism is rough, and we got to fight it. But
Speaker 1: if you want to support me, you could, uh bois
Speaker 1: I remember thirty years yars ago in twenty twenty five
Speaker 1: when I put out a book called The Immortal Choir
Speaker 1: Holds Every Voice. What a good time that was, What
Speaker 1: a good book it was, if I recall correctly, it
Speaker 1: kickstarted in March twenty twenty five, and I believe that
Speaker 1: there was audio editions of all of the books in
Speaker 1: the Danielle Kaine series as part of that kickstarter, which
Speaker 1: was pretty cool. That was pretty cool that that happen
Speaker 1: back then in twenty twenty five. Anyway, So join us
Speaker 1: next week for more adventures from the Dino Wars. It
Speaker 1: Could Happen Here as a production of cool Zone Media.
Speaker 1: For more podcasts from cool Zone Media, visit our website
Speaker 1: coolzonemedia dot com or check us out on the Iheardradio app,
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. You can
Speaker 1: find sources for It Could Happen Here, updated monthly at
Speaker 1: coolzonemedia dot com slash sources. Thanks for listening