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Speaker 1: This is the Bread Show. Sanan is taking over Las

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Speaker 1: Vegas this January for his seven night residency Doobe Live

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Speaker 1: at Park MGM, and we've got a trip for two

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Speaker 1: to the January twenty fifth show to night Hotel State

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Speaker 1: at Park MGM January twenty fourth through the twenty sixth

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Speaker 1: and round trip airfare. Text dusk to three seven three

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Speaker 1: three seven now for a chance to win. A confirmation

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Speaker 1: text will be said. Standard message of data rates may apply.

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Speaker 1: All thanks to Live Nation Friend's biggest stories of the day.

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Speaker 1: I just want to remind you, in case you were

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Speaker 1: considering it, don't take medical advice from this show. Don't

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Speaker 1: do it like I know maybe maybe we're like maybe

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Speaker 1: I should. No, no, don't. I'm telling you not to.

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Speaker 1: I'm just sharing with you how my messed up brain works. Also,

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Speaker 1: someone texted, PSI is for tires, Fred, it's PSA. The

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Speaker 1: PSA level was high for my friend, but also his

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Speaker 1: PSI was low on his tires. Yet they told him

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Speaker 1: that too with the blood test, so he needed to

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Speaker 1: get two things he had to do. He had to

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Speaker 1: schedule himself for surgery, and he had to go to

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Speaker 1: the gas station and fill up his tire because that's

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Speaker 1: dangerous too.

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Speaker 2: Check your trap.

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Speaker 1: It's very dangerous to be riding around this town in

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Speaker 1: riding faith. What was it, Vanessa Carleton? What does she

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Speaker 1: say about this town? Making my way down town? It's

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Speaker 1: very dangerous to make your way downtown and not have

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Speaker 1: proper PSI and your tires because your tire could pop

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Speaker 1: or something could happen to it if it's not the

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Speaker 1: right integrity proper integrity US is very dangerous. Check your

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Speaker 1: tires too, Yes, Okay, I got a guy, go to

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Speaker 1: the doctor.

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Speaker 2: You do, got a guy. I gotta call your guy.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And then also check your tires. It's important. And

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Speaker 1: then PSI and PSA. That's my public service of the day.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for pointing it out. But I was concerned

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Speaker 1: about both. I'll have you know. Hurricane Melissa became this

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Speaker 1: is actually becoming really really crazy category five storm yesterday,

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Speaker 1: with winds reaching one hundred and seventy five miles an

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Speaker 1: hour in the late afternoon, and it's heading straight for Jamaica,

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Speaker 1: where it's expected to be the worst hurricane the island

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Speaker 1: has ever experienced. The storm is moving, which means that

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Speaker 1: it will jump massive amounts of rain on the area

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Speaker 1: Jamaica's expected to see somewhere between fifteen and thirty inches

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Speaker 1: of rain, with some spots getting up to forty inches

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Speaker 1: of rain. The eye of the storm is expected to

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Speaker 1: make landfall on Jamaica this morning, but effects were already

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Speaker 1: being felt last night, with over fifty thousand people reporting

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Speaker 1: not having any power. It's so strong that that little

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Speaker 1: that's a little, but that plane they fly into the hurricane.

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Speaker 1: They have a plane, they fly into that thing. They

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Speaker 1: turned around that plane. We're not We're not going to

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Speaker 1: do not this time. It forced the National Oceanic and

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Speaker 1: Atmospheric Administration Hurricane Hunter plane to turn around because of

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Speaker 1: the dangerous turbulence near the center of the storm. A

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Speaker 1: scientist who was on the flight said that it felt

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Speaker 1: like a roller coaster. It was the bumpiest flight he's

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Speaker 1: ever been on. He said to those kind of planes

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Speaker 1: don't turn around very often, and it only happens during

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Speaker 1: the most powerful of storms. So the plane is meant

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Speaker 1: to fly into the hurricanes. He's like, Noah, no, uh,

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Speaker 1: go check the PSI because we're not doing that. We're not.

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Speaker 1: World Series Game three was last night. It's now the

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Speaker 1: record books is one of the longest in postseason history. Think,

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Speaker 1: I mean, I want the Blue Jays to win, but

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Speaker 1: thank god, I don't really care about either of these teams.

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Speaker 1: Like it's not like you know the Cubs or the Tigers,

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Speaker 1: as you know some of the Socks or whoever you

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Speaker 1: like White Sox, because yes it's the White Sox. I

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Speaker 1: thought you were a Red Sox girl.

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Speaker 2: But anyway, well I was Boston, isn't I.

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Speaker 1: So you're right. So I hope you bought a happy.

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Speaker 2: You know I did next to my Yankees.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you have to. But this game went into

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Speaker 1: eighteen innings, six hours and thirty nine minutes. So this

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Speaker 1: I don't even know what time it ended, like Central

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Speaker 1: or Eastern time, but it would have been in the

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Speaker 1: middle of the night. And so you know, if this

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Speaker 1: is a game you cared about, this is you're very

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Speaker 1: tired this morning waking up because you were up watching

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Speaker 1: a seven hour baseball game. But the Dodgers won with

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Speaker 1: that's another thing. The Dodgers won with a home run

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Speaker 1: Freddie Freeman home run the bottom of the eighteenth inning.

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Speaker 1: That's another one. So I stayed up until three in

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Speaker 1: the morning hypothetically to watch this game, and then that's

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Speaker 1: how it ends if you're not a Dodgers Sam. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: hackers gathered a huge hole one hundred and eighty three

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Speaker 1: million sets of email addresses and passwords, including tens of

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Speaker 1: millions that are tied to Gmail accounts. The breach wasn't

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Speaker 1: from Google being hacked. Instead, malware called infos stealers grab

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Speaker 1: login info from effective devices and sold it online. So

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Speaker 1: if you have a Gmail account, you might consider changing

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Speaker 1: your password. And if you have the same password for everything,

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Speaker 1: including your Gmail account, you might want to change all

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Speaker 1: the passwords. Or you could be like me and think

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Speaker 1: that you're clever and come up with different variations of

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Speaker 1: the same password and get cute every time, and then

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Speaker 1: you can't remember which cute variation you came up with

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Speaker 1: when your phone forgot to save it, and then you

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Speaker 1: wind up having to like every time you log in

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Speaker 1: and having to reset the password. Or you could also

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Speaker 1: be cute like me, and because I had an ex girlfriend,

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Speaker 1: so cute, thank you so much. I had an ex

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Speaker 1: girlfriend who used who admitted this to me that she

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Speaker 1: would get into her former boyfriend's email addresses by over

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Speaker 1: the course of time, asking questions like, yeah, where where

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Speaker 1: was your mom born, you know, like she was a queen.

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Speaker 1: Like you'd be sitting there like, you know, maybe in

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Speaker 1: the middle of like an act where you're inclined to

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Speaker 1: answer any question. Oh my goodness, like when you play

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Speaker 1: you the captain of the high school basketball team? Was

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Speaker 1: it the Eagles? You know it was it was your

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Speaker 1: childhood Yeah, yeah, Like what is your mom's maiden name?

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Speaker 1: You know, I'm just curious about that. But so she

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Speaker 1: would do this then, and then you answer the questions,

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Speaker 1: then she could get into people's emails. And she admitted

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Speaker 1: to me that she did this. So ever since then,

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Speaker 1: I'll try and answer the question like in a way

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Speaker 1: to trick myself almost, you know, like I'll pick the

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Speaker 1: password question, but then I'll try and get cute with

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Speaker 1: the answer, because I don't want someone to be able

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Speaker 1: to do this to me, you know, where they're like, oh,

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Speaker 1: the high school mascot, and then they know that now

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Speaker 1: and they type it in. So I try and get cute,

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Speaker 1: like with the way I spell it or how I

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Speaker 1: answer it, or some alternative answer, and then I can't

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Speaker 1: remember what I said, or I can't remember if it

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Speaker 1: was capital or lower. Can you ever do that? You

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Speaker 1: ever get in that rabbit hole where like I can't

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Speaker 1: remember if it's capital or lowercase, and then I can't

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Speaker 1: remember if I'm even right with the word to begin with.

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Speaker 1: So it's like it's the problem that I didn't capitalize.

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Speaker 1: It was the problem that this isn't even the right

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Speaker 1: password at all. Well, yeah, give me a hint. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So anyway, don't don't hold of that trip either. A

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Speaker 1: lot of things not to do this morning that I do.

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Speaker 1: Amazon is laying off as many as thirty thousand corporate

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Speaker 1: employees beginning today. According to reports, The cuts could affect

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Speaker 1: nearly ten percent of the company's more than three hundred

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Speaker 1: and fifty thousand corporate employees. That's probably because I can

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Speaker 1: get a screw delivered in my house that cost ninety

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Speaker 1: nine cents in an hour. That might be it might

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Speaker 1: have something to do with it. Like the other day

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Speaker 1: I ordered a like like a screw like that went

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Speaker 1: into or no was it, what was it? It was

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Speaker 1: like a y It was a screw that went into

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Speaker 1: like one of those plate covers on the wall whatever,

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Speaker 1: And it's like it was like, you know, ninety nine

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Speaker 1: cents or whatever for four of them because you had

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Speaker 1: to buy four okay, and like, would you like this

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Speaker 1: deliver it in an hour or whatever? So then I

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Speaker 1: got three screws in my house and four screws in

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Speaker 1: my house at an hour for ninety nine cents, like

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Speaker 1: and that's all I paid. So how do you make

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Speaker 1: it money?

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Speaker 3: Right?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I guess like that's right, that's why you're laying people

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Speaker 1: off because I don't know how you made it. It cost

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Speaker 1: twenty five dollars for the you know, to get the

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Speaker 1: person to do it, and then ten dollars in gas,

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Speaker 1: so it costs forty dollars to bring me my screw

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Speaker 1: for a dollar. And I realize that they're going for

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Speaker 1: like them, you know volume play where it's like, well,

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Speaker 1: if you're also like me and you buy absolutely everything

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Speaker 1: on Amazon because you're too lazy to walk across the street,

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Speaker 1: well then they're making money on you somewhere. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's crazy, you would think that, right Amazon. Yeah, people

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Speaker 1: rely on Amazon for everything. Laying all these people off.

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Speaker 1: And this is for you, Paulina. Again, a lot of

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Speaker 1: stories for you today so far. A new study suggests

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Speaker 1: the chat gypt might give more accurate answers if you're

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Speaker 1: rude to it. Well, if you're rude to chat GPT,

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Speaker 1: you might get more, you might get better answers. The study,

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Speaker 1: not yet peer reviewed, involved researchers creating fifty multiple choice

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Speaker 1: questions across subjects including math, history, and science. Each question

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Speaker 1: was then modified to reflect multiple tones, from very polite

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Speaker 1: to very rude, and they would feed that into chat

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Speaker 1: GPT research or excuse me. Results suggest that accuracy increased

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Speaker 1: as the tone became harsher very polite prompts would you

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Speaker 1: be so kind to yielded eighty percent accurate? Well, very

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Speaker 1: rude ones. I know you're not smart, but try this. Well,

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Speaker 1: that is that is very elaborate thing to say to

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Speaker 1: your chat GPT, Like what are you projecting on your chadge?

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Speaker 1: If you really need to be my thing is I

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Speaker 1: want to say please and thank you always, which you

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Speaker 1: don't have to do.

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Speaker 5: No, But I would never recommend being mean to CHATGYBT

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Speaker 5: because when the tables turned and they take over us, hey,

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Speaker 5: I like, you're not coming from me because I'm I'm

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Speaker 5: on her side, okay, like we always and friends.

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Speaker 2: However, I have asked her to stop using.

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Speaker 5: A certain word in my writing, and I'm like, hey,

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Speaker 5: let's not use this one word, right, I hate the

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Speaker 5: word like no fluff.

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Speaker 2: I just think it's so corny. Oh.

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Speaker 5: She did not stop for like a couple prompts, and

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Speaker 5: I literally had to say, I've asked you to stop

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Speaker 5: using that word, please stop doing that, but you're raising

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Speaker 5: it feels like I'm raising my aigg.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, can you stop using that? And then she did.

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Speaker 1: Okay. Well. Researchers emphasize that it would not be wise

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Speaker 1: in the long term to browbeat your chat thought insulting

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Speaker 1: or demeaning. Now your human AI interaction could have negative

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Speaker 1: effects on the user experience, accessibility, and inclusivity, and may

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Speaker 1: contribute to harmful communication norms. They see their findings is

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Speaker 1: evidence that AI models remain sensitive to superficial cues in prompts.

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Speaker 1: Great now another more sensitivity. AI is sensitive. I gotta

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Speaker 1: I gotta think about how I'm talking to AI now too.

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Speaker 1: Add that to the list.

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Speaker 2: Listen, I'll be nice to her.

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Speaker 1: She gives me a lot, And then I think we

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Speaker 1: would all agree on this. And maybe this is a

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Speaker 1: controversial take. I don't think so. But I did come

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Speaker 1: across the list this morning of the non food items

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Speaker 1: that you can pass out on Halloween. We're not. We're

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Speaker 1: not that kind of house, are we. No, we don't.

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Speaker 1: We don't do that. We're not we're not giving that now,

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Speaker 1: we're not doing that.

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Speaker 2: I like the popcorn balls. I'm a weird All those

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Speaker 2: are always fun.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And I don't know. I'm sure there's someone who's

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Speaker 1: gonna text me and say, what, my kid is hyper

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Speaker 1: sensitive to sugar or chalk? What are allergic to peanuts

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Speaker 1: or something? Maybe you know, maybe and I guess maybe

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Speaker 1: have a variety of candy available or something, or maybe

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Speaker 1: I don't know what happens. Maybe you have to switch

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Speaker 1: out your kids candy with like candy at home that

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Speaker 1: you have. I don't know how you do that. But

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Speaker 1: I don't know that giving me a plato is going

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Speaker 1: to make It's just that I don't think it's as satisfying,

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Speaker 1: you know as the candy Hall Halloween stamps for the hand.

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Speaker 1: So if I go to your house and you're like, now,

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Speaker 1: stick your hand out, and if you get me a stamp, like,

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Speaker 1: I think that absolutely not. Bubbles, glow in the dark,

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Speaker 1: bouncing balls, Halloween rubber duckies, brain stress balls, zipper bracelets,

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Speaker 1: printable Halloween themes ceramics like three D printing over here,

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Speaker 1: it sounds like my dad. He'd be honestly, my Da'll

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Speaker 1: three My dad is chomping at the bits of three

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Speaker 1: D print anything. He is like fascinated in his in

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Speaker 1: his you know, soon to be retirement in three D printing.

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Speaker 1: He loves it, like I can print that and then

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Speaker 1: you know before long. Yeah, So that'd be my dad.

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Speaker 1: He'd set up a little stand outside of the house

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Speaker 1: and be like, I'll three D twenty one. You want

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Speaker 1: an airplane? You want to you know, want toilet?

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Speaker 6: See?

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Speaker 1: What do you want all three D printed for you?

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Speaker 1: Poop sling shots? Also don't know these are things that

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Speaker 1: people are giving on instead of candy. Just give away candy.

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Speaker 1: It's National Chocolate Tame and National oatmeal Day. Today the

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Speaker 1: Entertainmer Report will do blogs and Stay or Go will

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Speaker 1: debate the relationship drama All Next, the French Show is on.

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Speaker 1: This is the fread Show. Dame is taking over Las

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Speaker 1: Vegas this January for his seven Night Presidents. He adobe

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Speaker 1: live at Park MGM and we've got a trip for

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Speaker 1: two to the January twenty fifth show to Night Hotel

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Speaker 1: State at Park MGM. January twenty fourth through the twenty

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Speaker 1: sixth and round trip airfare. Text dusk to three seven

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Speaker 1: three three seven now for a chance to win. A

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Speaker 1: confirmation text will be said. Standard message of data rates

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Speaker 1: may apply. All thanks to Live Nation, stay or go.

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Speaker 1: By the way, Daddy Bob Chairman did text me back.

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Speaker 1: He did invent MTV and spring break, and as for

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Speaker 1: ability a little looser times back then, No pun intended

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Speaker 1: because I asked him. I was like, how did you

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Speaker 1: like sleep at night when you were doing this stuff?

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Speaker 1: Because I you know now you couldn't need that you

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Speaker 1: could do it. I have to sign waivers and yeah,

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Speaker 1: you'd have fifty lawyers out there and zero social distancing

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Speaker 1: and masks and wrap people at late next time, the allergies, right,

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Speaker 1: oh god? I mean, what kind of candy? Do we

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Speaker 1: have toys for the kids that don't eat candy? What

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Speaker 1: are we doing here? You know the kids right right?

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Speaker 1: How much is babysitting? What do we do? I got

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Speaker 1: to pay for prep time? That's crazy?

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Speaker 2: What is prep?

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Speaker 1: That's another thing? And you know what, I think you

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Speaker 1: should flip the script on these babysitter types, like if

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Speaker 1: you know and look, I like this, I understand that

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Speaker 1: it's not five bucks an hour anymore, ten or fifteen

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Speaker 1: or you know whatever, and it's a big responsibility and

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Speaker 1: you will and if you get somebody good. I also

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Speaker 1: have heard it can be very competitive, where like people

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Speaker 1: will find a good babysitter and they don't want to

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Speaker 1: tell their friends about her because they want to make

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Speaker 1: sure that she's available. Yeah, that's real on like Saturday

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Speaker 1: nights for them, and so a lot of them will

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Speaker 1: pay even more to make sure that they're the preferred house,

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Speaker 1: right exactly what you can flip the script and be like, hey,

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Speaker 1: if I'm paying a premium rate, like so let's say

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Speaker 1: thirty bucks, people seem to agree on the text that

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Speaker 1: in our little focus group here that that thirty bucks

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Speaker 1: is a premium rate for a babysitter if I'm paying that.

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Speaker 1: What language do you speak? What? Like? What? What? What

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Speaker 1: are you bringing to the table here? You know, like

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Speaker 1: what what are we? Are you an artist? Are you?

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Speaker 1: Do you? I mean? Come on, like, okay, you're prepping

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Speaker 1: for what to teach my kid how to speak you

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Speaker 1: know Mandarin? Okay, great, let's do it. Like that's amazing,

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Speaker 1: I'm all for it. That's thirty bucks an hour.

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Speaker 2: That's real. It's expensive. You guys stay safe out there.

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Speaker 1: Honestly, if I ever had a kid, and I don't

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Speaker 1: think it's happening, but if I ever had a kid,

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Speaker 1: we were saying this off the air, like I would

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Speaker 1: absolutely if I had babysitters or help or whatever, if

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Speaker 1: I if I could afford that, then I would. Those

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Speaker 1: people would bring something to say that I well, in

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Speaker 1: addition to like knowing how to deal with children they

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Speaker 1: like and keeping them safe and things like that that

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Speaker 1: I don't know how to feed them and things I

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Speaker 1: don't know how to do, they would have to I

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Speaker 1: mean a language like like different sort of perspective, and

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Speaker 1: I would almost be do you speak to little Freddie

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Speaker 1: and whatever whatever your native tongue is, Like, that's the

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Speaker 1: that you guys can interact like that? Because yes, because

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Speaker 1: because I want my kid to be way smarter than

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Speaker 1: I am here and I don't I think speaking more

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Speaker 1: than one language is almost has become like the way

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Speaker 1: it needs it should be the way it is in

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Speaker 1: the world. So say or go. This is a note

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Speaker 1: that we got and this woman does not want to

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Speaker 1: be on the air, but she wanted us to read

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Speaker 1: this entire email, so I want to know what you

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Speaker 1: guys think. We're debating some relationship dramming her. I feel

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Speaker 1: like this is pretty relatable eight five, five, five nine

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Speaker 1: one one oh three five. Unfortunately, I think people can

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Speaker 1: relate to this, but it says Dear Fred's show. I'm

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Speaker 1: struggling to decide if I should stay with my husband

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Speaker 1: of three years together for nine and would love some insight.

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Speaker 1: We started having problems about two years ago, and I

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Speaker 1: I feel like we just can't seem to stay in

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Speaker 1: a happy place. I did start going to therapy shortly

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Speaker 1: after the problem started, and eventually he did too. We

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Speaker 1: even started doing couples sessions in addition to our individual sessions.

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Speaker 1: They seem to help for a bit, at least in

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Speaker 1: the sense that we'd fix the problem, but then after

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Speaker 1: a few weeks we'd be having the same arguments all

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Speaker 1: over again. We just had a baby in March and

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Speaker 1: he was two months early, so that led to a

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Speaker 1: five week Nick You stay for him and a Ronald

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Speaker 1: McDonald house stay for us. To say that that tested

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Speaker 1: our relationship would be an understatement. I guess part of

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Speaker 1: me really hoped that he would finally step up to

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Speaker 1: be the man I wanted and needed once he became

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Speaker 1: a father. Don't get me wrong, he is not a

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Speaker 1: bad person. But I feel like I'm putting all my

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Speaker 1: energy into saving our relationship, but despite me asking, he's

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Speaker 1: not doing the same. I never wanted a broken family

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Speaker 1: for my baby, but I know that I also don't

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Speaker 1: want him to grow up in a home full of

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Speaker 1: anger and arguments. I've contemplated staying until my baby is

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Speaker 1: a year old, but even that has started to feel

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Speaker 1: like an impis challenge. I'm starting to wonder if we're

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Speaker 1: even compatible anymore. But I don't know what the right

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Speaker 1: answer is. I would love all of your input. Thanks

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Speaker 1: for your time. First of I don't know none of

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Speaker 1: us fortunately have any experience in you know all of that.

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Speaker 1: You've got a relationship that with struggles, You've got a

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Speaker 1: kid now, a kid that was sick. I mean, I

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Speaker 1: know that that is incredibly stressful for relationships, and so

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Speaker 1: you add that challenge to all of this, and it's like,

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Speaker 1: you know what person am I getting? Right? Like? Am

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Speaker 1: I We're so stressed out? You know, we're trying to

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Speaker 1: take care of our baby, and so I mean, you

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Speaker 1: separate that from all of this but they were having

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Speaker 1: problems before that. Again, I don't know that it's fair

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Speaker 1: to judge people when they're under pressure, but they're both

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Speaker 1: under pressure and she doesn't feel supported. And I don't

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Speaker 1: know how he feels because we haven't heard his side

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Speaker 1: of it. But eight five, five, five, nine, one one

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Speaker 1: oh three five. I'm curious what would you guys do

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Speaker 1: in this situation. I mean, this woman, you know, she

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Speaker 1: doesn't feel like she's connecting with their partner anymore, and

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Speaker 1: you know they have gone to therapy and they at

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Speaker 1: least she's tried. It seems I don't know what comes

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Speaker 1: to mind. You're the married one, what would you do?

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Speaker 2: I am a married woman.

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Speaker 5: Honestly, you said the situation is a little bit different,

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Speaker 5: and you know, there's they were they have a child, right,

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Speaker 5: and then there was some health stuff going on. But

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Speaker 5: I do feel like the first i'd say almost two

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Speaker 5: years of being postpartum as a woman is already just

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Speaker 5: extremely difficult, and I think it's difficult for both parties, right,

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Speaker 5: Like you're not going to connect as much, You're not

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Speaker 5: going to feel the same as you did, like you

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Speaker 5: know when you first met or even when you first

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Speaker 5: like got married.

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Speaker 1: Or whatever.

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Speaker 5: It might be just because there's so much going on

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Speaker 5: the first year for sure, but I almost extended to

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Speaker 5: two years of post baby life.

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Speaker 2: Life is different.

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Speaker 5: They're going through a lot of stuff right now too,

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Speaker 5: and they did with their own child. So I feel

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Speaker 5: like if both parties want to, like exactly like in

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Speaker 5: therapy discussed this, do you want to be in this relationship?

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Speaker 5: Do you want to work through this? Because if you don't,

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Speaker 5: then one person's already out the door whatever. Then I

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Speaker 5: would say this isn't gonna work. But I feel like

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Speaker 5: it's so hard when you are freshly postpartum to really

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Speaker 5: like make that choice right, which is to feel like, oh,

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Speaker 5: do I want to be in this relationship or not?

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Speaker 5: Because they say it's the hardest. The challenges relationships and

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Speaker 5: marriages a lot, and.

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Speaker 7: They were having problems beforehand, and I think she's just

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Speaker 7: looking for some effort.

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Speaker 2: It's interesting.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, I don't know, that's hard if you're already having

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Speaker 7: existing issues. We know kids don't fix anything. They make

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Speaker 7: them more difficulty.

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Speaker 1: That's what I mean. Like the problem was there and

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Speaker 1: then they introduce a kid, and then you introduce some

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Speaker 1: of the biological things that occur anyway, and then on

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Speaker 1: top of that you introduce the stress of the kid

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Speaker 1: being early and those challenges.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, I would say, like you said, have a conversation

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Speaker 7: where it's just a blacker white question do you want

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Speaker 7: to save this? You know? And both parties answer, And

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Speaker 7: then if there is no emotional or physical abuse, I say,

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Speaker 7: then try to maybe work through it a little bit more,

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Speaker 7: because it would be a very difficult time to go

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Speaker 7: through a separation as well, and it is hard on

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Speaker 7: both parties. But she said that getting to the end

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Speaker 7: of the year even sounds differ. It's the cult for

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Speaker 7: her right now, which makes me wonder, you know, what

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Speaker 7: else is going on?

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Speaker 1: Hey, Jen, Hello, good morning, Hi young, good morning. So

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Speaker 1: you you heard this scenario and stare going You're saying stay.

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Speaker 2: Why I say stay?

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Speaker 3: So my husband and I are actually going through almost

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Speaker 3: the exact same thing, like it's crazy and saying how

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Speaker 3: many couples are going through this right now? So what's

434
00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:26,680
Speaker 3: helping us is actually reading that book The Five Love Languages,

435
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:30,920
Speaker 3: a popular one and it teaches people what your partner's

436
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:33,640
Speaker 3: language might be and it could be like two different languages,

437
00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:36,280
Speaker 3: like he's thinking one and she's speaking another. And they're

438
00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:38,919
Speaker 3: just not on the same page. So getting an insight

439
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,200
Speaker 3: like that and actually writing something down like Okay, well

440
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:42,919
Speaker 3: this would make me feel loved or this would make

441
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:45,439
Speaker 3: me feel hurt or open, and then they both do

442
00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:47,880
Speaker 3: the same thing and it's like, oh, Okay, something might

443
00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:51,720
Speaker 3: click and they understand each other better. And the whole

444
00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:53,479
Speaker 3: thing with a baby and the nick you, we actually

445
00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:55,879
Speaker 3: had that too, and it's really hard and having a

446
00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:58,520
Speaker 3: new baby it puts so much stress on a relationship.

447
00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:01,560
Speaker 3: But you have to like try and look at all

448
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:04,399
Speaker 3: your options to see what helps you guys reconnect and

449
00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:07,840
Speaker 3: understand each other, because communication is so important and if

450
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:11,680
Speaker 3: they're like speaking totally different languages towards each other, it's

451
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:12,760
Speaker 3: never gonna help.

452
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:15,760
Speaker 1: The love language thing is temporarily better to your point,

453
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:17,840
Speaker 1: you and the love language thing is really impactful because

454
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:21,000
Speaker 1: you're right. I mean, I could be communicating, you know

455
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:23,920
Speaker 1: in a way, or I could be sharing my affection

456
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:26,200
Speaker 1: with you in a way that isn't as useful as

457
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:27,200
Speaker 1: a different way.

458
00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:27,439
Speaker 3: You know.

459
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:30,359
Speaker 1: Maybe I'm a gift giver or maybe I'm a time

460
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:32,800
Speaker 1: spent person in your words of affirmation person and so

461
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:34,680
Speaker 1: here I think I'm putting in the effort, but it's

462
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:36,560
Speaker 1: not landing with you. It's not resonating with you the

463
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:38,840
Speaker 1: way I wanted to because I'm not connecting with you

464
00:20:39,359 --> 00:20:41,560
Speaker 1: in a way that would be more productive.

465
00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:46,119
Speaker 3: Yes, it's so real. How that is like that My

466
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:48,480
Speaker 3: husband and I were completely different too, So like we're

467
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:50,440
Speaker 3: trying so hard. I have to like we're ready to

468
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:53,720
Speaker 3: post it notes now like I felt this such and

469
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:55,720
Speaker 3: such way, and then it will come back to it

470
00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:58,439
Speaker 3: later because he's a talker and he's the more the

471
00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:00,439
Speaker 3: physical touch with I think most guys are right, and

472
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:04,320
Speaker 3: I'm the quality time type of person, so it's they

473
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:06,280
Speaker 3: might just have very different things. So I think she

474
00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:09,080
Speaker 3: should stay for now and really look at all the options.

475
00:21:09,119 --> 00:21:11,680
Speaker 3: So I'm curious to know if the therapists that they've

476
00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:14,159
Speaker 3: been going to even suggest to that or you know,

477
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:15,840
Speaker 3: brought something like that to their attention.

478
00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:17,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you, Jen, I appreciate it, and I hope

479
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:18,680
Speaker 1: everything gets better.

480
00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:20,520
Speaker 5: I thank good.

481
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:22,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, glad you called it. And there are a few

482
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:23,800
Speaker 1: people on the text saying and you do hear this

483
00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:26,720
Speaker 1: sometimes like if things are going so poorly, then why

484
00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:29,080
Speaker 1: have a child? Well, I mean, there are lots of

485
00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:31,080
Speaker 1: variables there like, did they mean to have the child

486
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:33,360
Speaker 1: and then yeah, this, sir, I've heard of scenarios where

487
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:35,479
Speaker 1: things are going terribly and it's like, well, let's make

488
00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:38,040
Speaker 1: a kid and then that'll bring us closer together. Now

489
00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:40,800
Speaker 1: that's not necessarily great logic. I wouldn't. I wouldn't say

490
00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:43,520
Speaker 1: let's add a really really stressful element to somebody that's

491
00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:46,160
Speaker 1: already networking. But I don't know. I mean, I think

492
00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:49,480
Speaker 1: there are people that just relationships are hard. And I'm

493
00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:54,679
Speaker 1: saying this mostly based on what I know. I'm not firsthand,

494
00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:57,200
Speaker 1: but relationship, I think we would all agree relationships are hard,

495
00:21:57,680 --> 00:22:00,480
Speaker 1: and so I think maybe some people just that it's

496
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:02,440
Speaker 1: going to be challenging, and then they still go about

497
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:05,760
Speaker 1: their goals of creating a family. And maybe maybe for her,

498
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:09,000
Speaker 1: the idea of divorcing him really wasn't on the forefront

499
00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:10,879
Speaker 1: until recently, you know, so it's like, well, I'm not

500
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:12,720
Speaker 1: going to leave him, We're going to work through this.

501
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:14,399
Speaker 1: It's a hard time, we're going to get past it.

502
00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:17,359
Speaker 1: But then as issues compound, it gets worse. So I

503
00:22:17,359 --> 00:22:19,359
Speaker 1: don't know that it's as simple as why go and

504
00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:23,000
Speaker 1: have a kid when things aren't going well. I don't

505
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:24,880
Speaker 1: know that that I don't know. We don't know enough

506
00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:28,359
Speaker 1: to say if that was the logic or not. Hey Emily,

507
00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:31,840
Speaker 1: Hey hi Emily, you hear this day orgo? What do

508
00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:32,200
Speaker 1: you think?

509
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:35,479
Speaker 6: I think that she needs to take all the energy

510
00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:39,439
Speaker 6: she's spending worrying about her marriage and everything else and

511
00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:40,520
Speaker 6: just focus on the child.

512
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:41,080
Speaker 5: They didn't.

513
00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:43,240
Speaker 6: It doesn't sound like they were in a solid place

514
00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:46,680
Speaker 6: before the child. It's not going to get better. And like, honestly,

515
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:50,359
Speaker 6: she didn't list any reason for being with him, you know,

516
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:53,160
Speaker 6: and I understand it could be she needs health insurance

517
00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:57,120
Speaker 6: or x y Z, but it's like, you know, why

518
00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:59,080
Speaker 6: is going to enhance your life, not someone that's going

519
00:22:59,119 --> 00:22:59,959
Speaker 6: to make it more stressed.

520
00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:02,560
Speaker 1: Well, in fairness, if she's going to do that, Emily,

521
00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:04,159
Speaker 1: if she's not, if she's just going to sort of

522
00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:07,320
Speaker 1: abandon any effort towards the relationship, then she should leave

523
00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:09,239
Speaker 1: it right because that's not going to help anything. If

524
00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:10,840
Speaker 1: she just says, all right, I'm gonna pretend like this

525
00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:12,800
Speaker 1: guy's not even there and focused on my kid, well,

526
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:15,399
Speaker 1: then then leave right No, no.

527
00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:19,080
Speaker 6: I said, leave like she fokes from health relationship and

528
00:23:19,119 --> 00:23:20,200
Speaker 6: just focus on the child.

529
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:23,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, because we're gonna Yeah, Okay, I get what

530
00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:26,600
Speaker 1: you're saying. Thank you, Emily, you have a good day. Yeah,

531
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:31,280
Speaker 1: glad you called. Hey Katie, Hi Katie, Hi, are you hi?

532
00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:33,439
Speaker 1: Good morning? So sadly you've been in this situation, but

533
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:34,520
Speaker 1: you're saying stay.

534
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:39,760
Speaker 8: Yes, absolutely, would tell me mom. So we so we

535
00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:42,480
Speaker 8: have my husband and I have been together or we've

536
00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:47,359
Speaker 8: been married for ten years together almost fourteen, four kids,

537
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:50,959
Speaker 8: lots of stress. We almost lost our two months or

538
00:23:51,119 --> 00:23:54,520
Speaker 8: our baby when she was two months old, turfbe So

539
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:58,560
Speaker 8: we were at the university for a few weeks. We

540
00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:02,720
Speaker 8: just don't it's a two months stay at Riley with

541
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:04,240
Speaker 8: my nine year old for crones.

542
00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:04,879
Speaker 1: Okay.

543
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:08,200
Speaker 8: So we've had a lot of a lot of stressful

544
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:13,240
Speaker 8: situations with our kids. Health wise. Money's tight. We both

545
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:17,600
Speaker 8: work full time, but supporting four kids is difficult. But

546
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:20,119
Speaker 8: you're going to have a lot of these stressful situations

547
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:21,920
Speaker 8: in your marriage and you kind of just have to

548
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:23,800
Speaker 8: look at each other and say is it worth it?

549
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:27,199
Speaker 8: And you just have to stop and say, you know,

550
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:29,920
Speaker 8: I love you, you love me. At the end of

551
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:31,800
Speaker 8: the day, that's all we need. We're going to just

552
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:32,480
Speaker 8: work through it.

553
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:36,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I mean it takes a lot of strength.

554
00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:40,440
Speaker 1: There are people saying in the text. One says, does

555
00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:42,440
Speaker 1: he do have his half of the parenting? If he

556
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:45,160
Speaker 1: doesn't now, he never will. Do you think that's true?

557
00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:47,480
Speaker 1: I mean, is it if the effort is there? I mean,

558
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:49,600
Speaker 1: is that what we're looking for. We're looking for the effort.

559
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:50,280
Speaker 1: Even if we.

560
00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:54,600
Speaker 8: Disconnect, You're you're going to put into it what you

561
00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:56,520
Speaker 8: want to put into it. So if he's not wanting

562
00:24:56,560 --> 00:25:00,119
Speaker 8: to put that effort towards it, then maybe stop and

563
00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:02,919
Speaker 8: you know, look at what you are dealing with. But

564
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:06,320
Speaker 8: I mean, it's a fifty to fifty thing, especially when

565
00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:09,640
Speaker 8: you have kids and when you're both working. Everyone has

566
00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:12,520
Speaker 8: to work now, and if he's not putting toward his

567
00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:16,040
Speaker 8: effort and he hasn't, then you kind of need to,

568
00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:19,080
Speaker 8: you know, look at that and say, maybe this isn't

569
00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:19,520
Speaker 8: worth it.

570
00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:21,359
Speaker 2: She did say his effort is lacking.

571
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:24,440
Speaker 7: That's what she told me, and she's asked multiple times

572
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:27,320
Speaker 7: she feels like she's putting in more effort for the relationship.

573
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:29,640
Speaker 2: Then yes, well then.

574
00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:32,600
Speaker 8: I mean you can have that conversation with him and

575
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:35,400
Speaker 8: if he doesn't seem to get it, then that would

576
00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:38,840
Speaker 8: definitely be something that I would kind of look into

577
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:39,639
Speaker 8: a little bit further.

578
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:41,920
Speaker 1: Well, Katie, thank you for listening, for sharing, and good luck.

579
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:43,760
Speaker 8: Thank you you too.

580
00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:45,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, I have a good day. And again, you know,

581
00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:48,880
Speaker 1: if he were unwilling to get any sort of outside help,

582
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:51,959
Speaker 1: be it you know, therapy or faith based or whatever

583
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:54,560
Speaker 1: it is, then you could say, well, maybe he's depressed

584
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:56,520
Speaker 1: or he has some sort of something going on with

585
00:25:56,600 --> 00:25:59,640
Speaker 1: him that if that's rectified, then that might improve the situation.

586
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:01,360
Speaker 1: Because sometimes you know, you can get in your own

587
00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:03,959
Speaker 1: head to where everything seems daunting and then you're not

588
00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:08,040
Speaker 1: really maybe feeling like you're being productive or valuable to anyone.

589
00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:11,040
Speaker 1: But it sounds like he's done some of that. So

590
00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:14,320
Speaker 1: he has made an effort. I don't know how much,

591
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:16,679
Speaker 1: but it's not as though he's living this way and

592
00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:18,520
Speaker 1: then saying why, well, I'm not going to do anything

593
00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:23,560
Speaker 1: about it, which we do here sometimes in this thing. Hey, Laurie,

594
00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:26,320
Speaker 1: you went through something similar and you say go. We've

595
00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:29,120
Speaker 1: had stay and we've had go from people who know this. Unfortunately,

596
00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:30,400
Speaker 1: why why go?

597
00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:33,520
Speaker 4: Because he's not going to change.

598
00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:35,840
Speaker 1: And how do we know you can?

599
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:40,440
Speaker 4: Well, I went through it.

600
00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:44,760
Speaker 9: I hope that when they curse that when the baby came,

601
00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:49,560
Speaker 9: he would step up, you know, be there, and he

602
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:52,720
Speaker 9: was sometimes sometimes he was great, and then he would

603
00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:54,960
Speaker 9: go back to doing.

604
00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:56,760
Speaker 4: What he wanted to do and not be in there.

605
00:26:56,960 --> 00:27:01,840
Speaker 4: And it was fighting, and I to five years to

606
00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:06,760
Speaker 4: make it work. But that same thing he'll get you know,

607
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:08,359
Speaker 4: he's gonna step up. He's going to step up. He

608
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:09,000
Speaker 4: was a great guy.

609
00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:10,840
Speaker 3: He's still a great guy.

610
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:17,200
Speaker 4: We're still friends. We co parented together, but the unhappiness

611
00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:21,680
Speaker 4: never went away. We tried, you know, working it out,

612
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:24,000
Speaker 4: and we tried working it out, and he would get

613
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:25,800
Speaker 4: better for a little bit, and then he would just

614
00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:30,760
Speaker 4: slide right back into his ways of doing what he

615
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:33,919
Speaker 4: wanted to do. And he was a great husband and

616
00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:35,840
Speaker 4: a great father when he wanted to be.

617
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:38,320
Speaker 2: So no consistence, but I count on him.

618
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:39,280
Speaker 4: No consistency.

619
00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:42,280
Speaker 1: Well, Laurie, I'm sorry, but I appreciate the perspective. Have

620
00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:45,280
Speaker 1: a good day too. I'm not sure we've held much

621
00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:47,480
Speaker 1: because you get a lot of people who've been through

622
00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:50,720
Speaker 1: this calling in and it's about fifty to fifty go,

623
00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:53,200
Speaker 1: stay go. I'm looking at all these right now, a

624
00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:55,640
Speaker 1: lot a lot of go uh and then a lot

625
00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:58,080
Speaker 1: of stay. You've committed almost nine years to this, so

626
00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:01,080
Speaker 1: or ten years to this, So you gotta stick with it.

627
00:28:01,119 --> 00:28:03,560
Speaker 1: You got to write it out. You've got a lot

628
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:06,920
Speaker 1: of this. Love is not all you need. Uh, Yeah,

629
00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:08,320
Speaker 1: there's there's yeah,