1 00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:03,240 Speaker 1: This week at the Parlor Live Comedy Club from right 2 00:00:03,279 --> 00:00:06,800 Speaker 1: along Brian Kellen July thirty first through August second. Twickets 3 00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:09,640 Speaker 1: are available at Parlor Live dot com or call four 4 00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:21,040 Speaker 1: two five two eight nine seven thousands on the twenties. Hello, Hey, 5 00:00:21,079 --> 00:00:25,040 Speaker 1: I was looking for Connor. Hey Connor, how are you doing? 6 00:00:25,079 --> 00:00:29,200 Speaker 1: This is Dave. I'm calling from apartments. Oh yeah, how's 7 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:31,800 Speaker 1: it going? Good? How's it going? Man? Good? I'm just 8 00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:35,040 Speaker 1: calling about your move in time. Okay, listen. I know 9 00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:37,480 Speaker 1: you're originally scheduled to move it on Saturday at noon, 10 00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:39,440 Speaker 1: but we need to change that. We need to change 11 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:41,519 Speaker 1: that to Sunday at five. If you're okay with that, 12 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:49,360 Speaker 1: Uh well, um, we just have to get all the 13 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:51,320 Speaker 1: blood cleaned up and then you can move in. But 14 00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:55,600 Speaker 1: I don't think it's gonna be til Sunday. What do 15 00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:59,160 Speaker 1: you mean blood? What's up? Oh? Just some stuff went 16 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:03,320 Speaker 1: down last week. There was a murder in there. What happened? 17 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:08,520 Speaker 1: I've been watching the news lately, not really, Oh, what 18 00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:11,080 Speaker 1: is it? Well, there was an argument about something and 19 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:15,319 Speaker 1: things got a little out of control in the apartment. Yeah. 20 00:01:15,319 --> 00:01:17,240 Speaker 1: I figured maybe you saw one on the news reports 21 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:19,600 Speaker 1: or something like that. I mean, are you are you 22 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:22,240 Speaker 1: kidding me? Right now? I'm supposed to be in there Saturday. 23 00:01:22,319 --> 00:01:24,680 Speaker 1: I have nowhere to go Saturday night, and you're telling 24 00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:27,479 Speaker 1: me there was a murder in the apartment. No, No, 25 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:32,480 Speaker 1: nobody died. I mean there's still an ICU, so you 26 00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:34,280 Speaker 1: know it's a good going away right now. They might die. 27 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:38,000 Speaker 1: But what anyway, Yeah, something kind of crazy happened, a 28 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:41,760 Speaker 1: hatchet was involved, and the rest is history. So we're 29 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:43,560 Speaker 1: just trying to get all cleaned up, all the bits 30 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:47,760 Speaker 1: and pieces out of there. And then are you serious? Yeah? 31 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:49,559 Speaker 1: I figured that maybe you had seen the news report 32 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:53,080 Speaker 1: or something. No, man, it's just it's a lot to 33 00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:55,520 Speaker 1: clean up. Like we're still picking up like limbs here 34 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:57,960 Speaker 1: and there. So I don't think you here any more 35 00:01:57,960 --> 00:01:59,920 Speaker 1: of this. I'm just I'm not if you're picking up. 36 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:02,520 Speaker 1: I'm not moving in this apartment. This is all because 37 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:04,360 Speaker 1: I asked you to wait a day to move in, Sir. 38 00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:07,440 Speaker 1: I think you're overreacting waiting a day, that's part of it. 39 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:10,320 Speaker 1: But it's man, because there was a department. Dude, I 40 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:15,160 Speaker 1: told you, nobody got murdered. Someone's gonna die. Did you 41 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:19,320 Speaker 1: just threaten me? Did you just threaten me. You said 42 00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:21,679 Speaker 1: someone's gonna die. Were you talking about me? Sir, No, 43 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:24,880 Speaker 1: idiot's a guy in the hospital. You're gonna kill that 44 00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:29,480 Speaker 1: guy in the hospital. What is wrong with you? You 45 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:33,440 Speaker 1: are not a smart human being at all. Well, you 46 00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:35,960 Speaker 1: did sign a lease, and you're lease says no matter what, 47 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:38,360 Speaker 1: you're gonna have to live there. So my hands are tied. 48 00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:40,359 Speaker 1: Kind of like the guy who used to live there, 49 00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:44,000 Speaker 1: his hands are tied. To stop joking about this. The 50 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:47,840 Speaker 1: guy was killed in the apartment, Dude, that I told 51 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:50,240 Speaker 1: you nobody was you're not processing it. Yeah, but I 52 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:53,959 Speaker 1: told you nobody was murdered. Someone was almost murdered in 53 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:56,640 Speaker 1: the place you worked for, right, but you keep saying 54 00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:58,280 Speaker 1: somebody was killed. I just want you to get your 55 00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:01,680 Speaker 1: story straight. Nobody, nobody was killed. I don't care you're 56 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:05,320 Speaker 1: cleaning up pull the blood in an apartment and finding 57 00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:09,279 Speaker 1: pieces of a guy's arm or whatever around the purposiality 58 00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:13,000 Speaker 1: it was his leg. You're a moron, my friend. You're 59 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:17,640 Speaker 1: an absolute imbecile. You know what? That is completely true? Good, 60 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:19,680 Speaker 1: I'm glad you know that. Obviously, I'm not the first 61 00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:21,840 Speaker 1: person to tell you. No, I've been told that a 62 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:25,239 Speaker 1: lot especially on these phone calls. Oh oh, it's great. 63 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:27,160 Speaker 1: Good for you, man, that you must be so proud. 64 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:29,080 Speaker 1: Everything looks like it's really working out for you. I 65 00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:31,720 Speaker 1: kind of am because this is actually jewel from Brook 66 00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:33,280 Speaker 1: and Jewel. In the morning, I'm moving out to two 67 00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:38,600 Speaker 1: point five doing a phone tap on you. It's a 68 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:43,880 Speaker 1: prank phone call. Your girlfriend maya set you up. Oh shot, 69 00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:49,760 Speaker 1: oh man, yeah, are you kidding me? She said she 70 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:51,960 Speaker 1: wanted to freak you out before you guys moved in together. 71 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:56,040 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I can't believe she did it. I'll 72 00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:58,120 Speaker 1: tell you what now, I'm gonna hack her up be 73 00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:02,400 Speaker 1: moved in together. Just kidding. That's a joke. Yeah, I 74 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:07,920 Speaker 1: hope that's a joke. Wake up every morning with UHL 75 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:11,280 Speaker 1: phone taps weekday mornings on the twenties, call out to 76 00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:15,480 Speaker 1: win two hundred bucks one eight six six, moving ninety 77 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:16,040 Speaker 1: two five