Speaker 1: Find down Michael and I'm Farm Radio Podcast. Alright, guys,
Speaker 1: happy Monday. It's actually Monday today. It is actually Monday today. Um,
Speaker 1: we've got the beautiful Sarah Gretzky on with us. My friend, Hi,
Speaker 1: are you in l A right now? Or where are
Speaker 1: you at? I'm in l A. Yeah, we're still here,
Speaker 1: still there. Um. How is ties thirtieth birthday? I mean,
Speaker 1: as good as it could be? Yeah, where'd you guys go?
Speaker 1: We just went out to his parents house and I
Speaker 1: just tried to like surprise him as best I could
Speaker 1: with cake, cookies and like like here's a bunch of
Speaker 1: balloons and the word surprise, surprise. I'm like, I love birthdays,
Speaker 1: So I tried, But I think everyone is kind of like, Okay,
Speaker 1: this year's a wash. Next year, everyone's birthdays are going
Speaker 1: to be like it. There's gonna be high expectations for
Speaker 1: across the board. True. Um, okay, So I'm sorry about
Speaker 1: um our Monday Morning listeners who like to listen first
Speaker 1: thing in the morning. Um. We held this or we
Speaker 1: were recording today for a few reasons. One we want
Speaker 1: to keep it topical with everything going on with Jason,
Speaker 1: and two we have a amazing couple coming on. Um
Speaker 1: they're huge and uh Housewives, if any Housewives fans are
Speaker 1: out there, which is another reason why our amazing correspondent
Speaker 1: Sarah Gretzky is going to be on the show with
Speaker 1: us today. UM. So so yeah, so we're we're really excited.
Speaker 1: But just for those of you that don't really know
Speaker 1: what's going on, I mean, I feel like silly to
Speaker 1: make it be like this dramatic thing, but I'm just
Speaker 1: Jason is in a sleep regression and I'm having just
Speaker 1: a really really really hard time, and you know, one
Speaker 1: person saying this and the other person says this, and
Speaker 1: then it's like it all depends on the kid. And
Speaker 1: so we're gonna have two specialists come on too, and
Speaker 1: they're they're very they're different to one is saying do
Speaker 1: this and want to sing the other, which is honestly
Speaker 1: further it's making me more confused. But I know at
Speaker 1: the end of the day, you know, maybe the end
Speaker 1: of this podcast will figure out what's best for us,
Speaker 1: um from the information that's given. And Sarah, I know, um,
Speaker 1: you know, you you're on your journey right now with
Speaker 1: trying to have a kid, So take some notes because
Speaker 1: both of these UM sleep experts are amazing. UM, so yeah,
Speaker 1: I just what are you what are you thinking? Beb.
Speaker 1: I mean it's I'm like literally looking sorry at the monitor,
Speaker 1: just like please please. Yeah, it's tough, and it is.
Speaker 1: It has been exhausting because you want you just feel
Speaker 1: bad for we just feel bad for Jay's and with
Speaker 1: the specialist that we have come on, it's like we're
Speaker 1: going to take a little bit from both of them
Speaker 1: because ultimately, there's no perfect right way to do things.
Speaker 1: It all depends on your kid, and every kid is different.
Speaker 1: So I'm excited to get these ladies on and talk
Speaker 1: to him about it. And I'm just looking at the
Speaker 1: monitor right now, and he just threw his Levy and
Speaker 1: Webby out again, and it just breaks my heart because
Speaker 1: that's like the thing that soothes him. So it just
Speaker 1: I'm like, I want to go back and give it
Speaker 1: to him. But the lady that we're about to introduce, um,
Speaker 1: she's in the waiting room right now, so let's uh,
Speaker 1: let's bring her on, all right, So we have the
Speaker 1: wonderful Elena McGain. Is that did I say that? Correct? Yeah? Atlanta, Atlanta,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, Atlanta McGain it's all right. Janna gets
Speaker 1: that too. She gets Jina. So I have been talking
Speaker 1: to her for for quite a while, um since basically
Speaker 1: Jason was a baby, right yeah, and already nineteen months.
Speaker 1: I know it's insane, and he'll be he'll be twenty
Speaker 1: months in like to like two weeks. But so I'm
Speaker 1: and by the way, everyone needs to go on her Instagram.
Speaker 1: It's good Night's Sleep site dot com. Um, that's her website,
Speaker 1: and it's just good Night's Sleep for Instagram, right, g
Speaker 1: N sleep site. Okay, So I'm having I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: having just really bad anxiety around us. And obviously I'm
Speaker 1: so embarrassed by the thing that I posted yesterday. But
Speaker 1: at the same time I was legit. Mike was texting me.
Speaker 1: He's like, where are you out? And I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: bawling in the other room and I'm having a panic attack.
Speaker 1: And you know, Jace right now was fighting his nap
Speaker 1: and he threw all of his lovees and bubbies out
Speaker 1: and Mike and I was afraid he had pooped. So
Speaker 1: I said, you know, He's like, well do I go
Speaker 1: in there? And I'm like, I don't know the right answer,
Speaker 1: but he did go in there too because he did
Speaker 1: poop and so he changed his diaper. But now again he,
Speaker 1: Mike and him were throwing back the loving bubby. I
Speaker 1: couldn't even get him to keep it in the crib
Speaker 1: long enough to get out of the room. He's like,
Speaker 1: this is fun. Yeah, let's play a game. So long
Speaker 1: story short, you know, he had it for a second
Speaker 1: and now he's I'm watching him in the monitor and
Speaker 1: it's he's trying to reach for it, and I'm my
Speaker 1: heart is breaking, like I want to go back in
Speaker 1: and give it to him, but you're not letting me.
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not letting you. And here's the deal.
Speaker 1: I mean your post yesterday. Honestly I wanted to like
Speaker 1: fall through my phone and on you because I know,
Speaker 1: like it's and this is exactly what I said to you.
Speaker 1: It's so easy for me to just say, Janet, don't
Speaker 1: go in the room, but you're the one that has
Speaker 1: to do it. And it's hard, especially when they're that
Speaker 1: age nineteen months and now he can talk and he
Speaker 1: can use more words, and it's it just pulls at
Speaker 1: those hard strings. But he's playing a game right now.
Speaker 1: And there's a reason we know what's going on with him.
Speaker 1: I mean, a let's look at where we are in
Speaker 1: the world right now. You're not alone in sleep struggles
Speaker 1: that are popping up all of a sudden because he
Speaker 1: was a great super he was taking amazing naps. He
Speaker 1: was sleeping really well. We know that he can do it.
Speaker 1: But you know, routines have been more relaxed in all
Speaker 1: house schools, just given the fact that we're all home
Speaker 1: and there isn't a whole lot of routines going on,
Speaker 1: coupled with the fact that he just came off a vacation,
Speaker 1: so routines were probably more relaxed than it's normal to
Speaker 1: be thinking to be seeing what we're seeing happening with him. Um.
Speaker 1: And then given his age, you know, we talked a
Speaker 1: little bit about the eighteen month progression. You know, anywhere
Speaker 1: between eighteen to twenty months. That doesn't mean it can't
Speaker 1: happen before e two months, that doesn't mean it can
Speaker 1: happen maybe twenty three months. But a lot of it
Speaker 1: is behavioral. Yes, there's teething issues, Um, yes, there is.
Speaker 1: He's learning so much, there's a new develop until milestones
Speaker 1: that he's hitting that can be playing a role in it, Um,
Speaker 1: But a lot of it is trying to take that control.
Speaker 1: And that's what he's doing with throwing out the levees
Speaker 1: and you guys are throwing it back and he keeps
Speaker 1: throwing it back. It's like a game for him. So
Speaker 1: if we keep kind of giving him essentially what he
Speaker 1: wants by giving him the lovey, he has to learn
Speaker 1: that there's consequences to his actions and when he throws
Speaker 1: it out, if we keep giving it back, well why
Speaker 1: would he Why would he stop or why would he
Speaker 1: not stop doing what he's doing. So it's important. I
Speaker 1: know it's hard, but it's important for him to understand
Speaker 1: that if he throws it out, he throws it out,
Speaker 1: he doesn't get it for the rest of the nap
Speaker 1: or the rest of the night. And yes, it's it's
Speaker 1: what I said to Yes, it's gonna be harder on
Speaker 1: you than it is on him. And I know that's
Speaker 1: hard to see when you're in it, but that is
Speaker 1: the case. How does that feel, honey, Um, I'm just
Speaker 1: I just feel like a bad mom. Like even like
Speaker 1: last night and I was reading messages and it's like
Speaker 1: going and hug your baby and I'm like, oh my God,
Speaker 1: I'm the worst mom ever for like not going in
Speaker 1: and like letting him cry it out, and like I
Speaker 1: don't know if it has something to do with like
Speaker 1: that he was in my body and I helped create him,
Speaker 1: but it's like he's like my person and he's like
Speaker 1: bawling and screaming our names, and I'm like I want
Speaker 1: to like go hold him and like rock him to sleep,
Speaker 1: but I know that, like you know, and and do
Speaker 1: the like come in and come out, but like I
Speaker 1: know that's not gonna work for him. Like he he
Speaker 1: was fine a week ago, and it was because we
Speaker 1: cuddled him in the bed, you know, because he wouldn't
Speaker 1: sleep his naps when we went up north, and like
Speaker 1: so we made those little mistakes just because I didn't
Speaker 1: think it would like totally screw him up. And now
Speaker 1: I just feel like a terrible mom because I'm like
Speaker 1: he's like yesterday when he was up at four where
Speaker 1: am and didn't go to sleep, didn't take a nap,
Speaker 1: I was swinging him on the swing and he was
Speaker 1: falling asleep and like the dudes exhausted, and then like
Speaker 1: he cried another two hours in the crib yesterday before
Speaker 1: we fell asleep. And that's when I just had like
Speaker 1: my breaking point where I'm just like, I feel awful
Speaker 1: and I'm like I just need to like, yeah, go ahead, sorry, no,
Speaker 1: it's listen and I get it. And I know you
Speaker 1: feel awful, and I know you feel like an awful mom,
Speaker 1: but you're not. I mean, we know this kid is
Speaker 1: loved seven. He knows that he's loved seven, um, And
Speaker 1: the most important part is that we know he's capable.
Speaker 1: And that's what I try and explain to parents is,
Speaker 1: you know, often when we hear the term self soothing,
Speaker 1: I think we have to kind of almost forget that
Speaker 1: term and instead we have to teach for kids that
Speaker 1: they're capable of doing it, and not just teach them
Speaker 1: so that they understand that they're capable, but also so
Speaker 1: that they know that you guys think he's capable of
Speaker 1: doing it. So listen. At the end of the day,
Speaker 1: I will never tell a parent to not go in
Speaker 1: a room and hold and cuttle their kid and sleep training.
Speaker 1: This isn't certainly what we're doing with Jays because we've
Speaker 1: been through the sleep training period. We know that he
Speaker 1: has that skill in place. Is just we're just kind
Speaker 1: of brushing off the cobwebs a little bit. Um. You
Speaker 1: know the fact that that we know that he can
Speaker 1: do it, we have to just keep allowing him to
Speaker 1: practice it and also just keep showing him that you
Speaker 1: guys know that he's getable of doing it and he
Speaker 1: needs to see that. So if you're going in and
Speaker 1: helping him do it, or you're going in and giving
Speaker 1: him back the lovey, or or responding to him in
Speaker 1: a way that he wants you to respond to him, yes,
Speaker 1: he's happy because he's getting the response that he wants
Speaker 1: and in a way also, it's also kind of showing
Speaker 1: him that, um that he needs that you think he
Speaker 1: needs his help, that you sorry, I'm saying this wrong,
Speaker 1: that you think that he thinks that you need to
Speaker 1: help him do it. But am I explaining this right?
Speaker 1: I'm like all over the place, But you know what
Speaker 1: I'm trying to say. Yeah, so listen, I know it's hard,
Speaker 1: and I know you fee look an awful mom, but
Speaker 1: you know you're not an awful mom, and you have
Speaker 1: a supportive hobby which helps you know. It's an important
Speaker 1: that you guys work as a team and that you
Speaker 1: guys are insistent with however, you're responding to him, and
Speaker 1: you've got to be especially when we're dealing with toddlers
Speaker 1: and that's the stage that he's in. It's so important
Speaker 1: to be consistent on the follow three because if we're
Speaker 1: all over the place, he's going to be just as
Speaker 1: confused in in what the expectations are. Alana, your mother
Speaker 1: of three, did you when you were doing going through
Speaker 1: all of this with your three kids, did you notice
Speaker 1: much of a difference like kid by kid or is
Speaker 1: kind of your belief system? Is it fairly universal across
Speaker 1: the board? And I love that you that you asked
Speaker 1: me that question. So I do have three kids. I
Speaker 1: have two daughters and a son. My youngest are twins
Speaker 1: boy girl twins UM and every kid is different. I'm
Speaker 1: actually gonna do a post about this UM specific topic
Speaker 1: on my Instagram and in a few days. But we
Speaker 1: can't expect all of our kids to respond the same way.
Speaker 1: So how did Julie responded to sleep training might not
Speaker 1: be the same as Jay's. And I even said to
Speaker 1: you when we were talking about the eighteen regression, I
Speaker 1: almost didn't believe it because my two daughters never went
Speaker 1: through it until my son UM and not to say
Speaker 1: that more boys go through the eighteen month and girls,
Speaker 1: because I don't have the data to prove that. Um,
Speaker 1: But he went through the exact same thing at around
Speaker 1: eighteen nineteen months. You know, just and my kids are
Speaker 1: good sleepers. I always say, would be really weird if
Speaker 1: I heard good sleepers given what I do. Um. But
Speaker 1: you know, all of a sudden in this awesome sleeper,
Speaker 1: just the same thing would start screaming, crying at three
Speaker 1: or four o'clock in the morning, started knap strikes for
Speaker 1: no other reason than what I believe to be behavioral.
Speaker 1: So it was just putting a plan in place that
Speaker 1: we are consistent with. So every child is different. Um,
Speaker 1: the sleep plan you put together for each child may
Speaker 1: be different. The most important thing and the only thing
Speaker 1: that really is the same as the consistency and follow through.
Speaker 1: Is it Is it different for like or do you
Speaker 1: think like? Okay? So if someone else were to say no,
Speaker 1: you should go in at the five mark, the fifteen mark,
Speaker 1: the thirty mark, and then in an hour take him
Speaker 1: out like is that is it? Does certain sleep training
Speaker 1: methods work for different kids? Absolutely? Yes, um, And that's
Speaker 1: what we do at GOOD I mean mostly at night, UM,
Speaker 1: when we're talking about like an interval check or a
Speaker 1: more gradual check where the parents are in the room,
Speaker 1: or a more direct approach where we're talking about extinction. UM.
Speaker 1: It really depends on the personality and the temperament of
Speaker 1: the child when we're dealing with the situation like we
Speaker 1: are with Jas though, the fact that we know that
Speaker 1: he can do it because he has been doing it,
Speaker 1: it's not necessarily what method do we choose now. We
Speaker 1: just have to kind of allow him to get back
Speaker 1: on track, which means you guys have to get back
Speaker 1: on track. So it's a little bit of a different
Speaker 1: situation than if we were starting fresh um and doing
Speaker 1: you know, complete sleep training. But absolutely the method that
Speaker 1: anyone who's listening, if you're thinking of choosing a method
Speaker 1: of sleep training, you have to think what method would
Speaker 1: work best for your child. But at the end of
Speaker 1: the day, you also have to choose the method that
Speaker 1: works best for you as a parent and you as
Speaker 1: the team, because you have to be comfortable with whatever
Speaker 1: method you're using, or else you're not going to be
Speaker 1: consistent with it and then you're not going to be successful.
Speaker 1: I mean, I want the every kid sleep in my
Speaker 1: bed method, but Michael won't let me down on that.
Speaker 1: Early on, Sarah, would you would you let the baby
Speaker 1: sleep in the room or would you and Ty be
Speaker 1: like no in our room or like when they cry
Speaker 1: like okay, so like a lot of um like my
Speaker 1: friend Kristen like the babies sleep in their bed. I mean,
Speaker 1: from what I've seen with my older sisters, no, I
Speaker 1: don't want them sleeping in my bed. But I'm a sleeper,
Speaker 1: so this is something Ty and I are going to
Speaker 1: have to adjust to because we can both sleep through anything,
Speaker 1: and we can sleep for a long time. So like
Speaker 1: we're going to have to adjust big time. He's gonna
Speaker 1: want them in the bed. I just and and I
Speaker 1: know it's like the worst thing to do, right well,
Speaker 1: I mean, here's the thing, as as a sleep professional,
Speaker 1: any choice that a parent makes is the choice that
Speaker 1: the parent makes. So I don't want say you know
Speaker 1: it's wrong or it's a bad even I know you
Speaker 1: had said you know what we did on vacation, I
Speaker 1: did bad things. I don't want anyone to take that away.
Speaker 1: But you have to do what works for you. But
Speaker 1: as a sleep professional, I can't talk about and I
Speaker 1: know You've had this conversation a few times, is I
Speaker 1: can't talk about I always have talked about safe sleep,
Speaker 1: so you know, I have to make sure that the
Speaker 1: baby or the child is sleeping in the safest environment.
Speaker 1: So when we're talking about, you know, room sharing versus
Speaker 1: bed sharing, I'm always always UM talking more about room sharing.
Speaker 1: So baby can sleep in your room, UM, in their
Speaker 1: own separate, safe environment, UM. But still room sharing. You
Speaker 1: can do that until whenever you want to do that, UM.
Speaker 1: But when we're talking about getting baby into bed with you,
Speaker 1: that's when things can potentially become unsafe. I think where
Speaker 1: I'm really upset is when when we were in Michigan
Speaker 1: and the RV, he was scared, like because we weren't
Speaker 1: there and it was something different in out of sorts,
Speaker 1: and so that's I now I feel like he's scared again.
Speaker 1: Is that like, do they even know what's scared is
Speaker 1: at that age? Yeah? Absolutely. I mean at the age
Speaker 1: that he's at, he he understands things that make him
Speaker 1: feel uncomfortable or things that per perhaps um, promote fear UM.
Speaker 1: But I think because he's in his normal safe environment,
Speaker 1: he knows that you guys are there. It's not to
Speaker 1: say that he doesn't have any fears, and you can
Speaker 1: address those fears. I mean if you feel like it's
Speaker 1: something that he's you know, if you feel that your
Speaker 1: child has a nightmare or is perhaps feeling scared, you
Speaker 1: can absolutely comfort that child in that situation. But if
Speaker 1: you see where it's happening every single night, um, and
Speaker 1: it's going on weeks on end, then we have to
Speaker 1: look at Okay, what else is going on? Um? Is it? Now?
Speaker 1: Are we dealing with a behavioral aspect to it as well?
Speaker 1: Where he's understanding that, Um, you know what he the
Speaker 1: actions that he does, uh, provides a reaction from you guys,
Speaker 1: and the reaction that he wants is that you guys
Speaker 1: come in his room and hang a little bit. How
Speaker 1: long is this gonna last for? Because I don't know
Speaker 1: if I can handle this anxiety? I know, and I
Speaker 1: wish I had an answer. Unfortunately, every kid is different,
Speaker 1: like I was, you know staying before. Every child is different. Um,
Speaker 1: it could take Like I said, it's not an overnight thing.
Speaker 1: It could take a week. It could take a little
Speaker 1: bit longer, but it's gonna take longer if there's a
Speaker 1: lot of back and forth and how you guys are
Speaker 1: responding to us. Well, I definitely agree with what you're
Speaker 1: saying earlier, where it's really ultimately more difficult on us
Speaker 1: than it is for him. Yeah, And I was just
Speaker 1: telling some friends of ours we saw the other day
Speaker 1: they are about to have a baby. I'm like, once
Speaker 1: they the whole sleeping is like the game changer, you know.
Speaker 1: Jane and I've been fortunate where I've been following Jane's
Speaker 1: lead with both our kids, and Jane has been a
Speaker 1: heck of a sleep trainer and I just kind of
Speaker 1: fallen along and I just fall in line with Janna
Speaker 1: where we've been on the same page with that. But
Speaker 1: it's because we've we've been so spoiled with Jay's being
Speaker 1: such a good sleeper and such a good nappers, Like
Speaker 1: as soon as he's not, it feels like the worst
Speaker 1: thing ever. And also with with Jolie, we were traveling
Speaker 1: all over the country constantly, so Jolie would sleep on
Speaker 1: busses and packing plays and hotels and she was just
Speaker 1: used to that. I mean, we had her on a
Speaker 1: bus at how many months six weeks, right, yeah, how
Speaker 1: many weeks? So you know, now it's like anytime we
Speaker 1: travel with Jay's it throws a wrench in it because
Speaker 1: he's just not used to it. So it's just there's
Speaker 1: different lifestyle changes too that we've had to you know,
Speaker 1: become accustomed to. And it's just like once they stopped
Speaker 1: sleeping a little bit, just it really messes us up. Well.
Speaker 1: And when we were having the conversation too, I'm like,
Speaker 1: you know, remember how at the very beginning, like he
Speaker 1: wasn't a napper like he was, he always fought that
Speaker 1: first nap. Yeah, and so remember that. It's like, well,
Speaker 1: I God, I don't want to stop a nap, but like,
Speaker 1: does he really need this nap? He does? Yes, and
Speaker 1: I And that's what I don't want you taking away
Speaker 1: from this is that, you know, Okay, he could be
Speaker 1: done for nats, he's still little to drop that nap entirely.
Speaker 1: And I with I'm gonna say ninety nine point nine
Speaker 1: percent confidence because I never say a hundred percent confidence.
Speaker 1: What we're seeing now is not because he doesn't need
Speaker 1: to sleep. I mean, I saw that video yesterday, but
Speaker 1: you guys posted and those retired little eyes on that
Speaker 1: little guy, so um, he's so cute. So you know,
Speaker 1: a lot of what we're seeing with naptime yesterday, and
Speaker 1: I think even going into bedtime because he didn't have
Speaker 1: that nap, a lot of it was overtired nous. But
Speaker 1: you know, just like when he was little, when we
Speaker 1: first started working together, I always say, it's almost like
Speaker 1: we have to push them into an overtired state to
Speaker 1: get them out of that overtired state, because it's really
Speaker 1: important to be consistent with what time we're putting it
Speaker 1: down at, with how we're handling those short wakings or
Speaker 1: those short naps, how we're handling that those bedtime battles,
Speaker 1: and he will pull out of this. He was pulling
Speaker 1: those three hour naps before this, you know, like he
Speaker 1: still needs to sleep. It's it's it would it would
Speaker 1: do more harm than good to to cut his naps
Speaker 1: at this point. Okay, well, I'm going to text you
Speaker 1: later because I need to see what time since I
Speaker 1: know he's not gonna natas he's reaching for his wabby
Speaker 1: like he looks like he's in just get it closer. Um,
Speaker 1: I mean, he'll he'll understand that by doing that, you know,
Speaker 1: he's not going to be getting his webby. And then
Speaker 1: we'll talk about his little webby and well maybe we're
Speaker 1: going to get rid of that. I'm not ready. All right,
Speaker 1: Well i'll text you later because I'm I need to
Speaker 1: see about nighttime. What time I've to put them down?
Speaker 1: So thank you so much, everybody. Okay, plug yourself right now. Girlfriend. Uh,
Speaker 1: thanks for having me on. You guys can go to
Speaker 1: good Night Sleep site dot com. You can follow me
Speaker 1: on Instagram, g N Sleep site, and I also have
Speaker 1: my podcast where I talk obviously all about sleep and
Speaker 1: it's called This Girl Loves Sleep. Love you, Thank you
Speaker 1: so much, love me too, Thanks guys for having me on.
Speaker 1: All right, Bye, Sarah, are you just like overwhelmed? You
Speaker 1: get all that? I just like don't understand and I
Speaker 1: hate saying that, but I'm like that gives me anxiety.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I don't know if you were crying because
Speaker 1: you felt bad for him, but I think I would
Speaker 1: be crying because I'm tired. It was a mixture of both.
Speaker 1: Was yesterday she was crying because she was just tired,
Speaker 1: but because I felt when I'm tired, yeah, I will
Speaker 1: cry if I'm tired. That just seems like a lot.
Speaker 1: I mean, look at him, he's he's no joke. Well
Speaker 1: he's not anymore. But he's always standing up still screaming.
Speaker 1: He's trying to get just like I and I know
Speaker 1: there's probably moms on here, just like there are moms
Speaker 1: on the Instagram sayingly just go in and cuddle him,
Speaker 1: but I don't know how much reverse whatever. So that's
Speaker 1: in my opinion, Well it can be so because for example,
Speaker 1: when we were up north, Mike started, um, soothing him
Speaker 1: because he was only sleeping thirty minutes because he's out
Speaker 1: of his element and whatever. So Mike started rubbing his
Speaker 1: butt to sleep. So then he got used to us
Speaker 1: rubbing his butt to sleep. We're putting him to sleep,
Speaker 1: and we've never done that before. He'd always just go
Speaker 1: in the crib and fall asleep by himself. How do
Speaker 1: you just not like sleep, close your eyes and go
Speaker 1: to sleep. Poor poor you too, poor all of you.
Speaker 1: So it's just but we have another sleep consultant that's
Speaker 1: going to come on later this episode who's different, um
Speaker 1: than Alana who's been helping us with Jayce. So it's
Speaker 1: you know, because every kid is different, so um, it's
Speaker 1: going to be interesting. And then by the end of it, Mike,
Speaker 1: we need to decide which one we're doing that sound good?
Speaker 1: All right? All right, before we get our next next
Speaker 1: guests on, let's take a break, all right, So to
Speaker 1: continue on the saga of jays Um, everyone was dm
Speaker 1: ng me like crazy, you have to ask taking care
Speaker 1: of babies. You have to talk to her d m
Speaker 1: R D m her. So last I d m her
Speaker 1: and then I spoke to one of her consultants and
Speaker 1: I was so overtired yesterday and I was bawling my
Speaker 1: eyes out. I don't think the call went too good.
Speaker 1: But now we have the one and only on the
Speaker 1: line with us right now. Hey girl, Hi, I'm Carat's
Speaker 1: so nice to meet you. Guys, n I'm Janna. This
Speaker 1: is my husband Michael, and then Sarah, who's our our
Speaker 1: resident guest on here. Girlfriend, I know, and talk to
Speaker 1: my wife off the lead. It's gonna be okay, honey,
Speaker 1: you and I today, I'm gonna help you. Okay, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna help you. This is hard, but I want you
Speaker 1: to know there's light at the end of this tunnel. Okay.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you lots of guidance, and when you
Speaker 1: and I are done today, you're going to feel like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I got this ready. Yeah, Because yesterday. I mean, I
Speaker 1: loved her and she was amazing, but I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't got it, and I just kept crying and
Speaker 1: I was just like, I'm so sorry. I'm just I
Speaker 1: was like, I think I'm just really tired. When you're
Speaker 1: losted and at the end of your row, it's like
Speaker 1: I have nowhere to turn, right. I think the hard
Speaker 1: part is too because you know, I've really studied your
Speaker 1: page and I've looked at it and you know how
Speaker 1: you train your you know, sleep train your babies, and um,
Speaker 1: I think the hard part for me and what I
Speaker 1: kind of um not butted heads on, but I had
Speaker 1: a hard time with it is like to re sleep train.
Speaker 1: I'm like, but he's already sleep trained, Like this is
Speaker 1: he just formed like a new habit that like we
Speaker 1: have to break. So I'm like, and so I think
Speaker 1: I had that was like what was hard for me
Speaker 1: because I'm like, wait now i feel like I'm going backwards.
Speaker 1: Oh god, now I'm having a panic attack. And I
Speaker 1: just was like it was so much, So let's let's
Speaker 1: talk through that. Chase is a good sleeper, right, you
Speaker 1: have created a great little sleeper, so that foundation is
Speaker 1: there he can put himself to sleep. He can cycle
Speaker 1: through sleep cycles. That's huge, right, that foundation that he
Speaker 1: has huge. I know you're thinking right now it doesn't
Speaker 1: feel like that foundation is there, but it's still in there. Okay, Now,
Speaker 1: what was the first thing when you DM me before
Speaker 1: I gave you any advice? What was the first thing
Speaker 1: I said to do? Do you remember drink a glass
Speaker 1: of wine? I don't remember. When a good little sleeper
Speaker 1: suddenly isn't, my brain now, keep in mind I'm a nurse,
Speaker 1: my brain immediately goes to is there a physical problem? Infection? Yeah,
Speaker 1: So anytime we have a good little sleeper who suddenly isn't,
Speaker 1: I want to say, Okay, let's rule out an ear infection,
Speaker 1: let's rule out pain. And so yesterday you took him in, right,
Speaker 1: how did doctor look? He's healthy, completely fine. Okay, that's
Speaker 1: that's good. Okay, so nothing's hurting him. That's good to know. Seething,
Speaker 1: let's talk about that. Lots of parents think, oh, well,
Speaker 1: teething like this is going to disrupt sleep for the
Speaker 1: next six months. Right, let's talk about that. What have
Speaker 1: you do? You do you see any teeth or do
Speaker 1: he's got moeller? So all four molars are like super
Speaker 1: engorged in large and the top his top left was
Speaker 1: the top left or top right is I can feel
Speaker 1: the like a little uh hard rough part of it. Yeah, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: so moellers can be they can hurt, right. Um Typically
Speaker 1: when teeth breakthrough, twenty four to seventy two hours of discomfort.
Speaker 1: Most of the time for good little sleepers, it doesn't
Speaker 1: disrupt their sleep. It does for some, it does for some.
Speaker 1: We want to account for that, Like, have you been
Speaker 1: giving them tailen al motron Yeah, every it's every three hours, right, well,
Speaker 1: motrin or ibprofen is every six every but but can
Speaker 1: you go like ibyprofen three then three the mo thailand,
Speaker 1: All okay, you're still it's still six between. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I don't no, don't blame yourself there. We've been doing that, right, yes, right,
Speaker 1: we've been doing that. Yeah, okay, so really quickly. This
Speaker 1: isn't medical advice, but this is like just a token
Speaker 1: of information for you. Motron ibprofen that is um an
Speaker 1: anti inflammatory, and so the pain of tving comes from inflammation.
Speaker 1: So I'm a big fan of motrin. I'd be proken
Speaker 1: babies can't have it. Until they're six months old. Jason's
Speaker 1: over that, so he can definitely have it, but give
Speaker 1: it before bedtime, and then if you want six hours later,
Speaker 1: you can sneak in there. Let's say you give it
Speaker 1: a seven ish or six thirty before bed, sneaking there
Speaker 1: around one one, six hours later, pick him up, give
Speaker 1: it to him laying back down. I know that sounds scary,
Speaker 1: but that keeps the inflammation. So if you're seeing a
Speaker 1: wake up, let's say it three or four or five
Speaker 1: in the morning, and you're like, oh my gosh, I
Speaker 1: think it's teething, well that medication has already begun working. Obviously,
Speaker 1: follow the advice of your doctor all of that, but
Speaker 1: we just want to rule out. Okay, is it pain.
Speaker 1: I don't think that's what this is for Jason. Can
Speaker 1: I tell you what I think it is? Go for it, Okay.
Speaker 1: Any time little ones have big developmental strides, crawling, walking,
Speaker 1: those sort of things that sleep can be impacted. Now,
Speaker 1: it can also be mental things, mental strides that are
Speaker 1: taking place in your baby's brain. What's happening inside his
Speaker 1: brain right now, well, sometime between the fourteen month mark
Speaker 1: and the twenty month mark is what we call the
Speaker 1: eighteen months sleep progression. Why is that the regression, Because
Speaker 1: it's a huge developmental progression. That means he is learning
Speaker 1: something huge. You know what he's learning right now, there's
Speaker 1: a Mommy doesn't come get him and throw out of
Speaker 1: the car. We're going to talk about that too. He's
Speaker 1: learning I make a difference in the world. I impact others.
Speaker 1: What I do, what I say, My actions influence others.
Speaker 1: That's a pretty good lesson to learn in life, right,
Speaker 1: But you've you've probably seen it, Mike, he throws a ball,
Speaker 1: you throw it back, Daddy get happy. I'm going to
Speaker 1: keep throwing the ball to Daddy because he gets happy.
Speaker 1: I saw in your stories, Gamma, he has cute little
Speaker 1: face on your phone and he say Hi, Hi, What
Speaker 1: did mommy do? Mommy's face lit up like he's like, Oh,
Speaker 1: when I said hi in that really cute voice, I
Speaker 1: make my mommy is so happy. Right, So he's learning
Speaker 1: what I do influences you huge. Now in the same way,
Speaker 1: they can use it differently. For example, here here's what
Speaker 1: you're seeing. Okay, you go to the grocery store. I
Speaker 1: want that lollipop. Mommy said, no, I want the lollipop. No,
Speaker 1: Mommy said, no, I want the lollipop. Mommy said no. Okay,
Speaker 1: Well I'm gonna throw my body down on the ground
Speaker 1: through a huge fit. Oh, she gave me the lollipop. Perfect.
Speaker 1: Every time I'm in the grocery store, if I want
Speaker 1: a lollipop, I just throw myself on the ground. I
Speaker 1: get a lollipo. I got this figured out. I know
Speaker 1: how to influence mom to get the lollipop at the
Speaker 1: grocery store. It's simple, right, So they this comes into
Speaker 1: play with sleep. Okay, if I throw a huge fit
Speaker 1: the entire nap time, guess what, I don't have to sleep.
Speaker 1: Look at me, I'm pretty good. I threw a huge fit.
Speaker 1: I don't have to sleep. Right, And guess what, Janna,
Speaker 1: I need you to hear this. You can't force him
Speaker 1: to sleep. It's not awful, Like, don't you feel out
Speaker 1: of control? Like I know he's tired, Like I know
Speaker 1: if I grabbed him, he would fall asleep right in right,
Speaker 1: And you know what you can do that? You can
Speaker 1: do that. You can just sit and rock him and
Speaker 1: hold him. But the things that you're doing now you
Speaker 1: have to be prepared, okay for the next six months,
Speaker 1: for every nap, every bedtime, in the middle of the
Speaker 1: night when he wakes up from I prepared to do that,
Speaker 1: and if the answers yes, go to it. Mike. I yeah,
Speaker 1: we can't do that. We can't do that. We did
Speaker 1: it for a week and it was exhausting in Michigan,
Speaker 1: which is then which caused the terrible thing. Yeah, hey,
Speaker 1: so do you see let's talk about that. So you
Speaker 1: went on vacation. What did he realize? He realized, Oh, oh, okay,
Speaker 1: so sleep in my crib. Okay, so there's actually other options.
Speaker 1: I could sleep on mom. I don't have to say.
Speaker 1: I could take a short nap and then get up.
Speaker 1: I can just he cool. These are really great options.
Speaker 1: If I get a pick, I'm not picking the crib.
Speaker 1: I pick you, right, okay, not no fault, no fault.
Speaker 1: It's just what he learned. And so now, and let
Speaker 1: me tell you, I believe in vacations, and I believe
Speaker 1: that there's ever a time to ever again, Karen. Never,
Speaker 1: I'm never taking a child on vacation. By the time
Speaker 1: you and I are done, I'm talk you in in
Speaker 1: two months to go in on another vacation. Not having
Speaker 1: like Okay, I know how to fix it. I know
Speaker 1: how to fix it now. But so he just learned
Speaker 1: there's other options. So now that you're home, we have
Speaker 1: to go back and say, okay, Jay's we were on vacation,
Speaker 1: you saw some other options. Guess what. At home, there's
Speaker 1: no other option. The only option is when it's naptime,
Speaker 1: you have to sleep. When it's bedtime, you have to sleep. Okay.
Speaker 1: Consistency is your best friend through aggression. See Okay, Um,
Speaker 1: let's talk about like some things like let's I said
Speaker 1: you can't control his sleep, right, you aren't in control,
Speaker 1: but you can say him up for success. So let's
Speaker 1: talk about like how do we do that? Um. Number one,
Speaker 1: we want to make sure that sleep pressure is built
Speaker 1: up in his little body, so like he's ready for
Speaker 1: a nap. You said, I know he's tired. Okay, that's
Speaker 1: perfect at this age, like a nineteen month old, we
Speaker 1: want from the time for morning time to that first
Speaker 1: nap to be about five and a half to six hours.
Speaker 1: So so normally let's say you wakes up for six thirty. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like eleven thirty twelve, I like, really a twelve to
Speaker 1: twelve thirty nap time? For this age, if it's a
Speaker 1: little bit earlier because he was waking up a little
Speaker 1: bit earlier. Maybe eleven thirty. Is that about what you're doing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we donks up around like six thirty. Okay, so that
Speaker 1: that would work all right? Um, and before eleven thirty,
Speaker 1: nap was working great for you. Yeah, I was working amazing. Okay,
Speaker 1: we're gonna get him back there. So eleven thirty twelve, wish,
Speaker 1: that's a good nap time. Then when he would not
Speaker 1: how long would you normally? Not for two and a
Speaker 1: half to three hours, So great napper. So then we
Speaker 1: want abow four and a half to five hours until
Speaker 1: bedtime six when we put them down. Okay, So you've
Speaker 1: set up this kind of you know, it can be
Speaker 1: a flexible schedule, but kind of we build up the
Speaker 1: sleep pressure so that when it's time for him to
Speaker 1: go to sleep, his sleep tank is full and he's
Speaker 1: ready to take a nap. Right. So timing is great.
Speaker 1: You've done a good job. Let's talk about environment. Is
Speaker 1: it dark in there? It is dark, and I know
Speaker 1: you're it's like to not see I saw your hand
Speaker 1: thing on your Instagram and it is is very dark.
Speaker 1: Is it is it pitch black. No, but you know
Speaker 1: it's something where I'm like, well, he already has slept
Speaker 1: in that before, so but again I don't know. And
Speaker 1: then I started to think, well, gosh, if he can't
Speaker 1: sleep in this, how am I going to go? Because
Speaker 1: I want crete. Is the psycho trying to cover his
Speaker 1: windows whenever we go anywhere, you know, because it has
Speaker 1: to be pitch dark. But I'm like, it's it's dark.
Speaker 1: I feel like it's dark enough, but I don't know. Okay,
Speaker 1: so I think we get in our brains like, well,
Speaker 1: if I make it dark, then he'll always forever have
Speaker 1: to sleep in a really dark cave and they'll never
Speaker 1: learn to sleep in the light, right with anyone? Okay,
Speaker 1: we can work on that later, but right now, when
Speaker 1: he's in this hard time, we want to pitch dark.
Speaker 1: No night lights, no nightlights. Okay. At this age light
Speaker 1: light is only stimulation for the brain, so we want
Speaker 1: all night lights. And I know some parents are like,
Speaker 1: but Carol, what what if he's scared at the dark.
Speaker 1: Let me explain this to you. Imagination doesn't begin, like,
Speaker 1: doesn't really kick in until twenty four months, so like
Speaker 1: two to two and a half that's when he starts going,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I think there's dinosaurs in my closet.
Speaker 1: Maybe there's a monster under my bed. He's not there yet,
Speaker 1: So right now, dark isn't a fear. A light stimulates
Speaker 1: that brain, so we want it dark in there. If
Speaker 1: you've been using a night light, we want it dark
Speaker 1: because that's when melotonain, the sleepy hormone, is released. So dark, dark, dark, Okay, okay, cool,
Speaker 1: it's comfortable in there, right, all right, talk to me
Speaker 1: about your naptime bedtime routine, like the ten to fifteen
Speaker 1: minutes before laying him down. What's happening bottle book, um,
Speaker 1: real soft light on, Like we we have like a
Speaker 1: great I feel like a great environment in there. Um,
Speaker 1: it's just he will continue to throw his lobby and
Speaker 1: we'll be out um when we put him in his crib.
Speaker 1: And that's when you know. I've heard people say do
Speaker 1: not go in, no matter what because it's a game.
Speaker 1: And then I've heard the go in every this time,
Speaker 1: this time, this time, and I feel like when I
Speaker 1: go in, he just screams louder. So that's the struggle. Okay,
Speaker 1: So first off, before that, before bedtime, we want a nice,
Speaker 1: like soothing little routine. Doesn't have to be long, ten
Speaker 1: or fifteen minutes, just just like you and I before
Speaker 1: we go to bed, we want to unwind a few minutes.
Speaker 1: Give him your undivided attention for ten to fifteen minutes.
Speaker 1: Now we put him in the crib. Right now, this
Speaker 1: is when the fight begins. Here's what I'm gonna tell you.
Speaker 1: What he's looking for is your reaction. How are you responding? Okay?
Speaker 1: Now I'm going to tell you something. This is a
Speaker 1: story totally applies to the situation. Lately, like the older
Speaker 1: I've gotten, I'm more afraid to fly on an airplane. Logically,
Speaker 1: I know that sounds so dumb, like you're safer in
Speaker 1: an airplane cara than you are on on like in
Speaker 1: a cart. Right, when I'm on an airplane, my third
Speaker 1: to field bumps, I always look for the flight attendant.
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, what's the flight attendant doing. If he's
Speaker 1: still pouring ginger ale, if she's strapped into her little
Speaker 1: seat reading her People magazine, I'm like, Okay, I know
Speaker 1: we're all right. Their job is to keep me safe.
Speaker 1: I know he would stop pouring that ginger ale, right right,
Speaker 1: I am looking for their reaction if they start panicking,
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, this plane is going down. I know
Speaker 1: right like I am scared. So you are that flight
Speaker 1: attendant for Jason. You are telling him sleep is a
Speaker 1: big deal, this is gonna be awful, naptime is horrible.
Speaker 1: Or you're like, hey, buddy, it's naptime. You're gonna sleep.
Speaker 1: You're gonna have a great nap, and then you're gonna
Speaker 1: wake up. We're gonna have good day. You are the
Speaker 1: flight attendant for him. So here's what I'm gonna tell you.
Speaker 1: No matter how you decide to do it, you have
Speaker 1: to watch your reaction. So when you put him in
Speaker 1: his crib, you're going to speak truth to him. You're
Speaker 1: gonna say, Jay's, you're gonna take a grade nap. Mommy
Speaker 1: and Daddy, we're right outside these doors. When you wake up,
Speaker 1: we're gonna have a great day. Speak truth to your boy.
Speaker 1: He understands you, so tell him. We all do better
Speaker 1: when we know our expectations. What's your expectation, Jason, I
Speaker 1: expect you to take it right now. Ja's You're gonna
Speaker 1: go down in your bed and you're gonna sleep till
Speaker 1: morning and in the morning, we're gonna get up and
Speaker 1: have breakfast. It's going to be a great day. Speak
Speaker 1: truth to him. Okay, now let's talk about going in.
Speaker 1: Let's talk about those levees. Let's talk about what we
Speaker 1: can do to help them. Some people are like, do
Speaker 1: not enter the room. Do not. Um, you don't have to.
Speaker 1: But I'm going to tell you. When I start feeling
Speaker 1: turbulence on that airplane we're supplied to, I'm looking for him.
Speaker 1: I'm looking for her, like somebody just tell me we're okay.
Speaker 1: And if that flight attendant looks at me, because I'm
Speaker 1: usually the one like, oh my god, hold up that
Speaker 1: girl on the plane. You just always want to sit
Speaker 1: next to me. The flight attended at one time she
Speaker 1: looked at me and she's like, we're okay, You're gonna
Speaker 1: be fine. I'm like, oh, oh, this is normal. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's normal. Just press are in the in the in
Speaker 1: the air Oh okay. So imagine Jay's is screaming. You
Speaker 1: walk into his room and you say, Jason, mommy's here.
Speaker 1: I love you. It's not time. I'll see you when
Speaker 1: you wake up. Oh. By the way, I'm putting these
Speaker 1: lovees in your crib now you're not going in because
Speaker 1: he threw the lovees out. You're going in just to
Speaker 1: tell him the flight's not going down, everything's fine. But
Speaker 1: you have to check yourself before you walk in that room.
Speaker 1: If you're like, oh my gosh, this is horrible telling
Speaker 1: me we're going down, Like if she looked at me
Speaker 1: and she's like, everything's fine, I promise now, right, So
Speaker 1: before you walk in that room, you are calm, you
Speaker 1: you're collected, You are telling him it's not a big deal.
Speaker 1: Just nap time. Here's your lovee, here's your passing. Good night.
Speaker 1: I love you. I'll see you when you wake up,
Speaker 1: and you can decide I'm just going to do it once.
Speaker 1: You can decide I'm going to do it every thirty minute.
Speaker 1: You can decide when you're going to do it. But
Speaker 1: when you walk in that room, do not be fooled.
Speaker 1: He can read you like a book. He knows you.
Speaker 1: He's looking for your reaction. Do not give him a reaction.
Speaker 1: At the end of naptime or in the morning when
Speaker 1: you get him out of the crib, no matter how
Speaker 1: it went, your reaction is good morning, Jason, it's so
Speaker 1: good to see you. I am so proud of you.
Speaker 1: You were in your crib the entire naptime. Do not
Speaker 1: react to negatively whatsoever. Sleep is not a negative thing.
Speaker 1: It's a positive thing. Your son knows how to fall
Speaker 1: asleep independently. He knows how to connect sleep cycles. He's
Speaker 1: a good sleeper. We just have to remind him. Oh
Speaker 1: you're you're still a good sleeper. Okay, your reaction that
Speaker 1: is good. It's as hard. I know, it's so hard.
Speaker 1: So and you talk so many moms off the ledge.
Speaker 1: Um you how long have you been doing? Is you
Speaker 1: have quite a following on Instagram. You've got almost a
Speaker 1: million followers. I mean people look to you and just
Speaker 1: um you know, is do you ever get um, not hate,
Speaker 1: but I mean do you ever say like that's that's
Speaker 1: not how you should do it? Or because because every
Speaker 1: baby is different, right, so how do you kind of
Speaker 1: deal with that? So? Okay, So as a nurse, my
Speaker 1: goal is to like understand infant development and say, okay,
Speaker 1: this is where little ones are developmentally, this is how
Speaker 1: we meet them developmentally. Um, it's all about like in
Speaker 1: the beginning. So I have a newborn class. This is
Speaker 1: for babies birth through twelve weeks, it's not sleep training.
Speaker 1: You know, sleep training. Newborns were just laying a healthy foundation. Okay,
Speaker 1: we're reading them where they are developmentally been around three
Speaker 1: to four months. They go through this like three to
Speaker 1: four month regression kind of like what you're facing eighteen months,
Speaker 1: but it's they're rocky developmental time. So I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 1: they're still not ready for foremal sleep training, but here's
Speaker 1: what you can do to kind of help them through
Speaker 1: then by months and older. I have a class. It's
Speaker 1: called the A, B C's of Sleep. It's a step
Speaker 1: by step plan to help parents who are like, my
Speaker 1: nights are horrible. I am not sleeping, this is awful.
Speaker 1: I need help with naps. I need help with nights.
Speaker 1: Maybe my baby's eating multiple times in the night. I
Speaker 1: want to help. But here's the thing. It gives him
Speaker 1: a step by step plan. And if a mom says
Speaker 1: to me, carre up. My eight month old is up
Speaker 1: fourteen times a night and I'm great with that. You
Speaker 1: know what I say? Good, Okay. If that's working for you,
Speaker 1: you're able to be the mom or the dad that
Speaker 1: you want to be. You don't have you don't have
Speaker 1: to do anything. If you ever want to change it.
Speaker 1: I'm here, I have a plan. I have a plan,
Speaker 1: and in fourteen nights, we can get this little one
Speaker 1: sleeping ten to twelve hours. I can help you teach
Speaker 1: your baby to fall asleep and connect those sleep cycles.
Speaker 1: And then the great thing is you have a plan
Speaker 1: for the next two years any time it gets disrupted,
Speaker 1: because look at Jac's a great sleeper. That sleep gets
Speaker 1: disrupted after illness or travel or regressions. Any time it
Speaker 1: gets disrupted, then you have a plan to fall back on.
Speaker 1: Anytime sleep is disrupted, you know what to do. So
Speaker 1: you feel like, right now, Joanna, you're retraining him. You're not.
Speaker 1: There's nothing that he doesn't have anything to learn, per se,
Speaker 1: because he knows how to fall asleep independently. He knows
Speaker 1: how to connect sleep cycles. What he's learning is, oh,
Speaker 1: I used to have an option. That option on vacation
Speaker 1: was to sleep. Was it your arms? Who's armed it? Mom?
Speaker 1: Or dad? Uh? My arms? And then Dad would rub
Speaker 1: his butt. Yeah, so here's the thing that's what he wants.
Speaker 1: He's like, no, no, I learned there was this other option,
Speaker 1: and then he would look up every time to see
Speaker 1: if he was still there, like there Okay, so there,
Speaker 1: so what we need to do. He's still an independent sleeper.
Speaker 1: We just need to show him he J's we're home now,
Speaker 1: we're going to go for our consistent plan that you
Speaker 1: know that does san that you can't rub this bottom
Speaker 1: for a few minutes as you put him in the crib. Okay, Jason,
Speaker 1: I'm here for you. I'm not going to do this
Speaker 1: until you fall asleep. I'm going to your bottom for
Speaker 1: a minute or two. Um, we just got to show
Speaker 1: him that option is over. We're going to go back
Speaker 1: to what we know consistency. Consistency. Consistency, Mike and Janet,
Speaker 1: if you were consistent for the next ten to fourteen nights,
Speaker 1: you're going to have your great sleeper back. Well, you
Speaker 1: know what, I'm going to talk to you right after
Speaker 1: this and in the next fourteen days. Okay, so we
Speaker 1: shall see. But UM, seriously, just thank you, UM, thank
Speaker 1: you for having UM you know, the platform to help
Speaker 1: other moms too, and dad's out there grandparents who was
Speaker 1: ever on on your site that that needs you, So
Speaker 1: make sure you guys go to taking care of babies
Speaker 1: on Instagram. UM a lot of helpful UM tips that
Speaker 1: I've already taken. So thank you, and I'm gonna d
Speaker 1: M right after or email you whatever right after this. Okay,
Speaker 1: thanks Kara. I appreciate it. I'm like, I'm a great mom,
Speaker 1: better mom on the planet for that baby than you. Well,
Speaker 1: thank you, Kara. So appreciate you taking the time. Thank you, Kara.
Speaker 1: Al Right, So, which which one are we doing? Mike?
Speaker 1: You know, historically I leaned towards what a Lanna kind
Speaker 1: of preaches, but after Kara kind of explaining her methodology
Speaker 1: behind it, I really understand. I love the analogy with
Speaker 1: the flighter tenant thing, especially because like you're just like
Speaker 1: her on a plane, and I can see how that
Speaker 1: also would be effective. You know, I'm still leaning towards
Speaker 1: the leaving b He's not gonna do anything to hurt himself.
Speaker 1: You gave him back his webby. Did he fall asleep? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Did he wake up though, I'm scared to look at it. No?
Speaker 1: All right, well it's anyways, It's okay, let's take a break.
Speaker 1: All right. So we're about to introduce Mega couple Real
Speaker 1: Housewives of Sarah. I know, but New Jersey, UM get
Speaker 1: you know what, Sarah, why don't you do the intro
Speaker 1: ladies and gentlemen coming to you live. You have Joe
Speaker 1: and Melissa Gorga of Real Housewives of New Jersey. That's good,
Speaker 1: Like announcer voice, did you take away the monitor for
Speaker 1: me for a reason? I just like to say that
Speaker 1: Mike just took the monitor away from me, just trying
Speaker 1: to help you be like, yeah, it's the only thing
Speaker 1: you can think about. Though. Yeah, I'm sure he's he down.
Speaker 1: He's laying down. God, that's huge. Waits, you know he's
Speaker 1: laying down. That's huge because I was like, okay, I
Speaker 1: know he really wants his webby and had been an
Speaker 1: hour of him crying, so he finally maybe like got it.
Speaker 1: Like hey, so he doesn't even lay down, he's like
Speaker 1: trying to crawl out, get his legs out. And Sarah,
Speaker 1: he hopped over. I saw he climbed out of his crib,
Speaker 1: walk downstairs, got out of his room, opened the door,
Speaker 1: got out of his room, walked downstairs. You're not prepared
Speaker 1: for that, Melissa, Hi, guys, how are you? Oh? Hey,
Speaker 1: oh don't you guys look so fabulous? Y right, I'm Janna.
Speaker 1: This is my husband Mike, and then Sarah is our
Speaker 1: Real Housewives. Um, correspondent because she's just, um, yeah, so
Speaker 1: how are you guys doing? Yeah, you guys are so cute.
Speaker 1: Oh it's like we're looking in the mirror right back
Speaker 1: at you guys. Thank you so much. I know. I
Speaker 1: was just I've just been like crying because we're having
Speaker 1: a problem with our our toddler, total sleep aggression and
Speaker 1: it's just like killing the mom heart right now. So
Speaker 1: I just had a good little cry session about five
Speaker 1: minutes ago. How to take the monitor away from her,
Speaker 1: Otherwise she'd sit here and be looking to the side
Speaker 1: the whole time. So how old are your kids? Again?
Speaker 1: I have a ten year old, at twelve year old
Speaker 1: and a year old. We have a four year old
Speaker 1: girl and in nineteen month old little boy, and that's
Speaker 1: the one giving us problems right now. Really, my daughter
Speaker 1: was so good until she turned eleven, and then she
Speaker 1: turned into a demon. Like, Oh that's how that's how
Speaker 1: our daughter is going to be. She is a chip
Speaker 1: off the old block with mom here and those two
Speaker 1: are gonna go at it for sure. You have no idea.
Speaker 1: I never would have thought I was going to be
Speaker 1: like that with her because she was my angel and
Speaker 1: she was was in her hair all day and it
Speaker 1: was like she just started to growl at me and
Speaker 1: looked at me like I was. She's like, I'm like
Speaker 1: are you good? Like your face? Okay? It was just
Speaker 1: remember that time we were friends and like did things together. Wait,
Speaker 1: so what do you do about it? Then we just
Speaker 1: went at it out the debt I did. She's like, Joe,
Speaker 1: you're gonna make her talk to me that way because
Speaker 1: I literally just said to her like we're discussing what
Speaker 1: time we're leaving the shore house and go home to
Speaker 1: our other house because that she wants to see her friends.
Speaker 1: And I'm like well, and she just snapped at me.
Speaker 1: I was like, I'll throw you off the table. So
Speaker 1: scared for kids, all these stories, but it is so fun.
Speaker 1: Our daughter just told me to chill the other day
Speaker 1: and she's four, said, Dad, chill. I was like, I
Speaker 1: just had to walk out of the room. And then
Speaker 1: yesterday I picked up Jolly from her friend's house and
Speaker 1: she goes, you broke my heart and I was like what, Like,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, honey, but I mean, like, what I
Speaker 1: ever do to you exactly? Wait? So what do you
Speaker 1: do then? Like how is your discipline with your with
Speaker 1: with your daughter when she talks like that. I mean,
Speaker 1: I threatened. I'm like a threat. I won't go anywhere.
Speaker 1: But she knows I'm all both because I never doing anything.
Speaker 1: What did you do when there are babies? Because that's
Speaker 1: my biggest thing. Did you let them cry it out?
Speaker 1: Or did you coddle them and hold them? Um? Let
Speaker 1: him cry it out. The more you ignore them, the
Speaker 1: more you train them. But the more you you caught
Speaker 1: ale them and you take it, it's gonna be a
Speaker 1: prompt for you later. Yeah, I mean, I think I'm
Speaker 1: with them, you know, It's just it's hard. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm the kind of I want to coddle him and
Speaker 1: put him in bed with us, and Mike's like, nope,
Speaker 1: ain't happening, Like just just let him cry it out,
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I can't, no, beg you gotta keep
Speaker 1: that sex life, that's right. Yea. Sometimes I would purposely
Speaker 1: bring my child in the bed just for a nice
Speaker 1: little break. I would I would wait that the kid
Speaker 1: fell asleep and there you good. You know what he
Speaker 1: would do is wait till the child fell asleep and
Speaker 1: then get the child who him or her out of
Speaker 1: the bed. Well, here's actually you talk about sex life
Speaker 1: last night to bring you into our marriage a little bit.
Speaker 1: I was super tired and obviously had a real emotional
Speaker 1: day with Jason. But you know, it's been a minute.
Speaker 1: It's been a minute, and so I tried to like,
Speaker 1: you know, cattle up on him and I'm like kissing him,
Speaker 1: and so I basically got the hint that he didn't
Speaker 1: want anything, and so I turned over and I was like,
Speaker 1: I feel really turned down right now because he always
Speaker 1: says I don't really make the move, but I like,
Speaker 1: he's like, I want to know you're making a move.
Speaker 1: I'm like, when do I cuttle up and like basically
Speaker 1: hump your leg and kiss you like never you know
Speaker 1: what it is. We're just so shocked when it happened.
Speaker 1: We don't know what to do. Wait, that was you
Speaker 1: feeling guilty? Like, wait, it's been a minute. Let like
Speaker 1: try to like do something. Here. Shanna's one line and
Speaker 1: we're watching a movie with like a ship in a
Speaker 1: submarine shot of torpedo and she's like, I could use
Speaker 1: a torpedo. I was like, funny joke, I was, I
Speaker 1: don't really know that. As you move alright, so I
Speaker 1: know you um Sarah, do you got any questions for
Speaker 1: for the housewives lovers? And then I could be here
Speaker 1: all day. But my first question is I'm actually curious,
Speaker 1: are you guys filming or are you going to film?
Speaker 1: How is Quarantine filming going to work? Um? We actually
Speaker 1: started filming for like a week or two and then
Speaker 1: hold On and then COVID happened and they closed us down,
Speaker 1: so we only got like a half an episode in
Speaker 1: and we are about to start up again because there
Speaker 1: was just my husband is a hockey fanatic, and what
Speaker 1: am I gonna do? Bravo needs to get some shows
Speaker 1: out because I cannot be watching hockey all day long,
Speaker 1: I know, I know. Well, we're going to one of
Speaker 1: the ones who are definitely filming during this craziness. So
Speaker 1: we'll see like how that goes. It's either going to
Speaker 1: be a full like I don't know, like you're gonna
Speaker 1: be your kids are gonna be filming you on their iPhones. Well,
Speaker 1: we've been there, John Dad already, we've been doing some
Speaker 1: things like that. But we're doing real like heads up
Speaker 1: filming coming up. So yeah, I'm ready. I'm so ready
Speaker 1: turned it over fast enough, you know. Speaking of they've
Speaker 1: got to be. They're really pumping out some stuff right now.
Speaker 1: So yeah, everybody's watching TV. Yeah, yeah, that's all we
Speaker 1: got to do. Speaking of filming and everything, before you
Speaker 1: guys even got I'm gonna take you back before you
Speaker 1: even got on the show. Has it the kind of
Speaker 1: notoriety that you all have, the following that you guys have.
Speaker 1: Has it met expectations, exceeded expectations? Is there anything you
Speaker 1: would change about it, like knowing what you know now
Speaker 1: about your experience. Um, not too much. I feel like
Speaker 1: Joe and I like, out of the Housewives and the cut,
Speaker 1: we've gotten obviously a lot more of the positive. Um,
Speaker 1: we do show that we go through struggle and we're
Speaker 1: like a real family and we fight through it and
Speaker 1: we show we really do show our real couple situations
Speaker 1: all the time. So we've learned to we don't take
Speaker 1: it too seriously, Like we really know some housewives and
Speaker 1: I won't mention names. It's not just our franchise. They
Speaker 1: get on this show and they want to divorce, they
Speaker 1: want a statue in the middle of their town, they
Speaker 1: want to be named after them. It's like insane when
Speaker 1: it's like we just we're on a show. Obviously we
Speaker 1: have great opportunities from it. I have Envy, my boutiques amazing,
Speaker 1: my online is amazing. So that like we've learned, I mean,
Speaker 1: I have a whole you know, we're you guys get
Speaker 1: that we're branded now at this point, and you know,
Speaker 1: there's so many opportunities with that. For me, it's like
Speaker 1: we go to work, but we also go to work
Speaker 1: very authentically. So it's like we go to work and
Speaker 1: I get it that it's a job, but we're showing
Speaker 1: what we would really do and saying what we would
Speaker 1: really do. And when I have an argument with these ladies,
Speaker 1: I'm not putting it on for the cameras. I really
Speaker 1: tell um, I think their whack jobs winner. Also, it's
Speaker 1: it's it's we get that it's work, but it's authentic work.
Speaker 1: You know, Melissa, you just talked about your company Envy
Speaker 1: and everything. And Joe, I know you just released a book,
Speaker 1: right the Gorger Guided to Success, which has been a
Speaker 1: best seller show far. How is that and what can
Speaker 1: just for the men out there that listen to this podcast,
Speaker 1: what can we expect from reading that book? It's all
Speaker 1: about motivation, How how I start out in business? Um,
Speaker 1: how to love a woman, how to treat a woman,
Speaker 1: because a lot of men out there don't know how
Speaker 1: to treat a woman. And you know, well, she's happy's
Speaker 1: mping that leg. I must be doing something right if
Speaker 1: she's humping the leg last night. Well that's that's. Yeah.
Speaker 1: It's all about you. If you you can have all
Speaker 1: the money in the world, but if you don't have
Speaker 1: to be a man and be a father and be
Speaker 1: a being a husband, you're nothing. In my book, so
Speaker 1: it's kind of a little bit about that, and you know,
Speaker 1: it's a it's a quick read, it's a great read.
Speaker 1: You know, it's more it's also about just like getting
Speaker 1: started in business and come from the bottom and having
Speaker 1: immigrant parents from Italy that could barely speak the language
Speaker 1: and creating what we have now. You know that's awesome. Um,
Speaker 1: maybe you can do add that to here, because Mike
Speaker 1: does a motivation thing in the morning and that could
Speaker 1: be a that'd be a good book too. It will
Speaker 1: be next Right now, he's reading How to Be an
Speaker 1: Adult in a Relationship, So that's uh, he's been crushing.
Speaker 1: He's crushed in that book right now. Um, But in
Speaker 1: y'all's couple Ship what is the thing that's UM a constant,
Speaker 1: like you have to continue to keep working on UM.
Speaker 1: I think it's what we have to keep working on.
Speaker 1: Is like would you argue we like over some petty stuff.
Speaker 1: I don't know. We think you know, listen, most important thingship,
Speaker 1: all right, we've been married fifteen years going on sixteen,
Speaker 1: but I we keep it as a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship.
Speaker 1: I'd say she's my wife, but I think about my girlfriend. Sex.
Speaker 1: We talked about sex. Sex is extremely important. You know
Speaker 1: you have you have a young baby. Usually moms that
Speaker 1: have babies are like, oh, I'm tired at the end
Speaker 1: of it. Well, you can't be taught now you have
Speaker 1: him to think about. Right, Right, you got when you
Speaker 1: keep that alive, you keep that happy. You got a
Speaker 1: good marriage. And it's all about marriage. With what happened
Speaker 1: to COVID, everybody shut down who you shut down with
Speaker 1: your family? There's nothing else, right, What do you guys
Speaker 1: think of that impacting I mean just from I guess
Speaker 1: people of celebrity status in the rate of divorces that
Speaker 1: have been happening, just those are just divorces that we
Speaker 1: see right because of of media picking it up. But
Speaker 1: I can't imagine people that aren't being you know, opening
Speaker 1: the public about their divorces. Like, what do you guys
Speaker 1: think about that? Do you think the COVID has been
Speaker 1: a big impact on that and enforcing us to be
Speaker 1: so around each other so much? You know what, I've
Speaker 1: been married to him for fifteen years. I have never
Speaker 1: spent this amount of time with him in my life.
Speaker 1: And that's like, so I can understand why people are
Speaker 1: like WHOA. Like our routine is usually he gets up
Speaker 1: very early in the morning, he comes home, there's like
Speaker 1: that two hours after dinner before someone falls asleep on
Speaker 1: the couch, and then there's the weekend. But like when
Speaker 1: it's NonStop, I can see why couples are like WHOA,
Speaker 1: this is like a lot of time with you, because
Speaker 1: I think people get into a routine of like, Okay,
Speaker 1: well I'm gonna hang out with him a couple of
Speaker 1: hours and I'm gonna get a sleep and then like
Speaker 1: hang out a weekend in front and they don't realize
Speaker 1: Like I think COVID did open a lot of people's
Speaker 1: eyes to like who they're married to and like what
Speaker 1: it's like if you have to spend every minute of
Speaker 1: every day. So what about what how do how do
Speaker 1: you feel? I'm good, I'm good, I still like me,
Speaker 1: still cool. No, But I mean I think I honestly,
Speaker 1: I think that we even got a little closer. Yeah
Speaker 1: I didn't. I mean, we were always tight, but I
Speaker 1: think we got a little bit more closer. So if
Speaker 1: there's true love and somebody really loves each other' gonna
Speaker 1: get closer right in times like this, or they're gonna
Speaker 1: be like, hell, no, you suck, you know, I mean
Speaker 1: I could definitely. It's like we've done so much freaking
Speaker 1: therapy in our relationship that it's like because the same thing,
Speaker 1: like we spent so much time together. Now if our communication,
Speaker 1: if are we didn't have those skills, we would probably
Speaker 1: be right there with them in the tabloids. For I
Speaker 1: can't freak an analysts because it's it's it's a lot,
Speaker 1: it's amazing. Everyone says it helps so much, and it's amazing.
Speaker 1: Do you agree therapy it's the only way we've been
Speaker 1: able to survive. Big advocates for it personally and a
Speaker 1: couple of ships for sure, and having that third party
Speaker 1: just help us talk to each other because I think
Speaker 1: for us, like, yeah, you guys communicate a lot. You
Speaker 1: hold it in and then went the therapy and then
Speaker 1: you learn about that. We've learned how to communicate now
Speaker 1: from our therapist. There's like the safe talk process of
Speaker 1: like how to identify and not blame because a lot
Speaker 1: of times I'd be like, well, you're doing this and
Speaker 1: you're doing that. Well, he's not going to hear that
Speaker 1: at all if I'm saying you you you you you
Speaker 1: have to you know. So it's like we've just learned
Speaker 1: now how to talk. We don't do it right every time.
Speaker 1: You know, I didn't do it right this morning. Um,
Speaker 1: you know, so there's certain times where you guys are laughed.
Speaker 1: Why are you laughing? You for being honest. I just
Speaker 1: love listening to other couples. I forgot how much I
Speaker 1: love listening to other couples. I want to be a
Speaker 1: therapist in my next life. I just like how you're honest.
Speaker 1: You're being honest. You're like, I didn't do a great
Speaker 1: job this morning, up doing what I'm sposed to do.
Speaker 1: But but you know we're still here. Yeah, yeah, And
Speaker 1: it's just you know, we'll do it better next time,
Speaker 1: and you know we don't do it perfectly. But we're
Speaker 1: doing it a hell of a lot better than we
Speaker 1: did the past few years. Yeah, And to answer your question, Joe,
Speaker 1: that's exactly how we were, Joe was we would hold
Speaker 1: it in, we would push it down, build his resentment
Speaker 1: that would blow the f up, you know, or wait
Speaker 1: till therapy and then we just all during therapy when
Speaker 1: we want to play the blame game and it's pouring
Speaker 1: each other. Instead of using that time to learn more
Speaker 1: about one another, you know, we'd use as as an
Speaker 1: opportunity of platform to blame each other, and that just
Speaker 1: didn't work out. So because of things like this morning,
Speaker 1: us not handling things exactly perfect, we're still able to
Speaker 1: come do this, be together, be friends, still love each
Speaker 1: other and not it ruined our entire day like it
Speaker 1: used to. And that was the biggest thing, is our
Speaker 1: rebound time between disagreements are kind of missing. We're able
Speaker 1: to come back right around because of what we've learned,
Speaker 1: which makes sense, like not holding onto the grudge for
Speaker 1: the whole weekend and ruining your whole weekend because of
Speaker 1: an argument. Right, everyone was your weekend just as much
Speaker 1: as it would his if you sit there and hold
Speaker 1: onto it all day. So yeah, that would suck. Would
Speaker 1: you guys if you had if you look back, would
Speaker 1: you have done Housewives again? Like if if you could
Speaker 1: do it again, Like would you still do it? Knowing
Speaker 1: kind of everything that went through and how like you know,
Speaker 1: your sister was like all those things that kind of
Speaker 1: came to the foreground. Is it something that it's impact
Speaker 1: of the family maybe, like yeah, you guys have all
Speaker 1: gone work through it and gone you know, and are
Speaker 1: better now. But is it something where you're like, man,
Speaker 1: maybe maybe we shouldn't have done that, and I we
Speaker 1: wouldn't have done it again. I mean, I think we
Speaker 1: have different opinions on this, Like for me, I would
Speaker 1: do it again. And I don't think it's that like
Speaker 1: impactful I feel, I mean it has been, but I
Speaker 1: feel like we've done a really really good job. I
Speaker 1: sometimes feel like he wishes that we didn't get into it,
Speaker 1: and I think it's just two different It's because it
Speaker 1: sends me out of the house obviously a lot more
Speaker 1: than it sends him out of the house. It keeps
Speaker 1: me busy when I was home a lot more, and
Speaker 1: I think he misses that, do you know what I mean? Sure?
Speaker 1: And you know your wife's all over the place and
Speaker 1: you want to come home, and you know, I built
Speaker 1: a great company and I'm working and I didn't need
Speaker 1: this in my life. And things change, you know, it's
Speaker 1: fifty fifty. There's good things and then there's bad things.
Speaker 1: You know. Uh, with our family, we were really in
Speaker 1: turmoil and the show kind of brought us together, so
Speaker 1: we are better. So sometimes I said, I wish I
Speaker 1: never did it, and sometimes I like it. You know,
Speaker 1: depends on the day, for sure. No, that totally makes sense.
Speaker 1: And with all of you guys have been able to
Speaker 1: benefit from with the show. We know you're launching that
Speaker 1: new app with that Celebrity slots. Tells a little bit
Speaker 1: and our listeners about that because it sounds amazing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's so fun. Our game is called Power Couple. So
Speaker 1: it's just a super super fun game where you know,
Speaker 1: Joe and I do voiceovers in it. We did photo
Speaker 1: shoots for It's a slot game. Um, so much fun
Speaker 1: and you can win like celebrities. If you're playing our game,
Speaker 1: you can win like shoutouts from us as on the
Speaker 1: smaller range, and then we signed books for you. You
Speaker 1: can win signed books. You can win like the big
Speaker 1: grand prizes. You come to Jersey and have dinner with us.
Speaker 1: So that's so cool. I want to play. I want
Speaker 1: to have dinner with y'all. You guys, where are you? Okay? Oh,
Speaker 1: I want to come come on? Yeah but um but yeah.
Speaker 1: So it's like there's there's personal experiences and things that
Speaker 1: you can win, like a skype interview with us is
Speaker 1: one of the better prizes to um, things like that.
Speaker 1: So it's all free to download. It's a free game replay. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so it's awesome. It's such a great thing. We were
Speaker 1: so happy we did those free to not Ain't that
Speaker 1: Ain't that the truth? Oh? My good? Um, there's something.
Speaker 1: Oh I was gonna say something, but I wasn't sure
Speaker 1: if I could say it. But we might or might
Speaker 1: have auditioned for a certain uh Sarah's coming around a
Speaker 1: certain Housewives um thing. But I'm we haven't heard back yet.
Speaker 1: But at the same time, I'm like, I would be
Speaker 1: so afraid, like we'd be just eating a live spit
Speaker 1: out and then like canceled the next day. We'll be
Speaker 1: so cute and love and real and it will be
Speaker 1: the most loved has been on the show. You guys
Speaker 1: will be awesome in it, and you'd be like Melissa
Speaker 1: and just call out all the wack jobs like you're
Speaker 1: being an idiot, and you'd be great. You know. The
Speaker 1: audition came during quarantine and I'm like, all right, well,
Speaker 1: I'm like we're not doing anything else, you might as
Speaker 1: well entertain it. But we haven't heard anything, so I'm like,
Speaker 1: maybe we were just like boring people for you can't
Speaker 1: say I mean they didn't say I can't, so right,
Speaker 1: that's fine. The Beverly Hills, would you have to like
Speaker 1: move there? Yeah, we lived there before we came back
Speaker 1: to that, like we would just do like part time.
Speaker 1: But I mean, Teddy's a friend and so. But I
Speaker 1: have not heard anything, so I'm sure it's not going
Speaker 1: any further, but it was it was fun to entertain
Speaker 1: hold right now, so you never know, like you I
Speaker 1: could see you going in there like that totally. I
Speaker 1: think I think we'd get eat eaten up and spit out.
Speaker 1: But then because because I am so like, I get
Speaker 1: a lot hate hated on because the things that I say,
Speaker 1: because I'm very sarcastic, and I wouldn't want to filter
Speaker 1: myself too much because then I you know, I don't know.
Speaker 1: It just seems like it's That's why I asked, like
Speaker 1: if you regret it, because it seems like once you're in,
Speaker 1: it's like, okay, people are either going to love you
Speaker 1: or hate you. And I have a hard time with
Speaker 1: criticism and people not liking me, so I don't I
Speaker 1: don't know how I could physically handle up. No, you
Speaker 1: have to be okay with that because it comes when
Speaker 1: you're on Housewives Particular, which by the way, is one
Speaker 1: of the longest reality shows out there. Besides like the
Speaker 1: Kardashians and like the Housewives are really all the franchises
Speaker 1: are like Mega, you know, in in the reality world
Speaker 1: and I'll Bravo. So the fans are deep, strong, opinionated.
Speaker 1: You will have them. They will die for you, but
Speaker 1: they will also want you debt like you have to
Speaker 1: have the thickest in and be like, okay, see you
Speaker 1: later onto the next like you cannot even blink. I
Speaker 1: literally the first two years I was on that show,
Speaker 1: I cried under my bed, like pull my feet out
Speaker 1: from under the bed. I'm not going on the line
Speaker 1: today because the parents are gonna look at me like that.
Speaker 1: Moll I was like, you don't even know what I
Speaker 1: didn't go through. It was bad. I'm freaking crow. I
Speaker 1: am a crow. You guys gonna say now, you would
Speaker 1: never know. You're out here telling them what's up, like
Speaker 1: you don't give up, like I'm this right, I'm this,
Speaker 1: and I would like to thank on the show. So
Speaker 1: oh my gosh. Well, I mean, if if in it
Speaker 1: probably would not, but if it did happen, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be calling you, okay, so she can be your coach.
Speaker 1: We need a new house. He's got a next girlfriend
Speaker 1: in Jersey, so why don't you call her up? Perfect?
Speaker 1: What part of Jersey staten eile, Well, come to Nashville.
Speaker 1: We'll come to Jersey. Love you guys so much. Everybody
Speaker 1: download this their Celebrity Slot game. Can you plug it
Speaker 1: one more time for us? Yes, guys, Celebrity Slot you
Speaker 1: can get downloaded on the app Store. It's all free
Speaker 1: to download. So much fun. And maybe we'll have dinner
Speaker 1: with you guys. I'm obsessed with you guys. This is
Speaker 1: so real and we can talk relationships and to dinner.
Speaker 1: We're gonna come visit you guys, Okay, love you guys.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Thank you guys so much, Sarah
Speaker 1: you there. I'm obsessed with them. I love her, I
Speaker 1: love and I feel like you could all be best friends.
Speaker 1: I'm just like still shock that you just dropped the
Speaker 1: Beverly Hills bomb. I don't I don't think I get
Speaker 1: in trouble. She didn't make me sign anything. I don't think, so,
Speaker 1: I don't think so. I don't know. But it's been.
Speaker 1: It's been. So I had a phone interview with her
Speaker 1: and then we had then she wanted to meet Mike
Speaker 1: and so we did the whole face time zoom. It
Speaker 1: was in the end of May and she said, I'll
Speaker 1: talk to you in a month. So I mean, it's
Speaker 1: been over a month, so I figured, like I texted
Speaker 1: Teddy and I was like, hey, how did you know?
Speaker 1: Did she say it went good? And She's like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, it said she said it went amazing. So
Speaker 1: I mean it sounds like it's probably not a go
Speaker 1: since it's been. But I mean, I don't even know
Speaker 1: if something you would want to do it's going to die.
Speaker 1: Maybe it could be good because people could start commenting
Speaker 1: and next thing you know, it's like hashtag. But like,
Speaker 1: I feel like I would be like Melissa under the
Speaker 1: bed like you would have to drag my. I can't
Speaker 1: handle that. I can't even handle the wine down like
Speaker 1: comments Sarah, I need be living for a while because
Speaker 1: I mean, you here for more support. Yeah, no, you
Speaker 1: I mean yeah, yeah, they were awesome though. There are
Speaker 1: a lot of fun. Yeah, there are a lot of fun.
Speaker 1: And I want to play the app just so I
Speaker 1: can maybe potentially win to hang out with them. Hey,
Speaker 1: you have to you have to hang out with us now, right,
Speaker 1: like hot, like that would be kind of stoker ish,
Speaker 1: but um yeah, I really like them a lot. But
Speaker 1: the Housewives franchise, I mean, Sarah, you're obsessed. But I
Speaker 1: mean it's like I feel like, if you say the
Speaker 1: wrong thing, you get canceled. But you want to know
Speaker 1: what as fast as you don't, you get hated on.
Speaker 1: But there's you know, there's a new story, there's a
Speaker 1: new episode, there's the next So that's why it's like
Speaker 1: I can't even tell you what happened in New Jersey
Speaker 1: two seasons ago, you know what I mean? Yeah, So like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you say something stupid, but then they hate another housewife
Speaker 1: the next week or I don't know, but yeah, I
Speaker 1: would be Wow, it would be interesting to say the least,
Speaker 1: but I'm still holding up for my acting career. So
Speaker 1: we'll see. Would you put the kids on the show
Speaker 1: if you guys went on. I mean, gosh, they're already
Speaker 1: a part of my ah. I will say this. I
Speaker 1: would until they say they don't want to be on.
Speaker 1: That's kind of how I I've already, you know. Unfortunately,
Speaker 1: I sometimes feel bad that I've shared so much about
Speaker 1: about them and um, because it is kind of weird.
Speaker 1: Like when we were at Disney World and someone was
Speaker 1: like Jollie and I was like, how does a complete stranger?
Speaker 1: But then I was like, oh crap, like I did
Speaker 1: this to her and I had this huge, like breakdown.
Speaker 1: I was like, but how do I reverse it? Because
Speaker 1: our life is sharing our story and our kids and
Speaker 1: um longster shut. I kind of came to we came
Speaker 1: to the conclusion that was like, Okay, when there's a
Speaker 1: time they're like Mommy, I don't want to be our
Speaker 1: put the phone away or no pictures or whatever, then
Speaker 1: I'm going to respect that. So I thought, I don't
Speaker 1: but I don't know what to do. Maybe that's the
Speaker 1: wrong thing to say. I don't know. I don't think
Speaker 1: there is a right thing. I just you're so protective
Speaker 1: that I could that I could see you caring way
Speaker 1: more about the kids than you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: you don't want anyone shot when when I put this
Speaker 1: stuff about Jolie out there and I had people saying
Speaker 1: how my daughter speaks like a troll and she's she's
Speaker 1: you know, and yes she had she has a speech delay.
Speaker 1: She's gotten so much better, but like, don't attack my kids,
Speaker 1: like attack us, you know, Mike, But it's just you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, it's that's that's where again. But
Speaker 1: that would be my fault and then I'd feel like
Speaker 1: a terrible parent and then like here I am like
Speaker 1: posting another cry myself. Is it's our kids, it's our
Speaker 1: decision until it's theirs. And I can tell you right now,
Speaker 1: Julie would definitely not say don't she's funny record thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she's gonna want it as much as anybody. So, um,
Speaker 1: can we please? Though I do want to plug miss Sarah.
Speaker 1: She has a new podcast, okay, okay, okay, and I'm
Speaker 1: so excited about it and I really really want to
Speaker 1: be a guest because we need to talk sex in
Speaker 1: the City episodes. But please tell everyone about your new podcast.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I can this is Sarah No. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's just it's still very new. It's very much in
Speaker 1: the works. We've recorded like a teaser and a half. Um.
Speaker 1: But I feel like during Quarantine and especially after the miscarriage,
Speaker 1: I went a little bit of like a dark slum
Speaker 1: and I just was like, I need something. I need
Speaker 1: something to do with my time, I need something to
Speaker 1: obsess over. I just need something else to fill my mind.
Speaker 1: And so I just one of my girlfriends and I
Speaker 1: were kind of talking and we were like, you know what,
Speaker 1: every day you're texting someone saying, hey, have you seen
Speaker 1: this show? Oh my god, did you see this show?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, did you watch this movie? What are
Speaker 1: you watching on Netflix? And so we were like, why
Speaker 1: don't we just do a podcast? You know, it could
Speaker 1: be movies, documentaries, shows, housewives, um, really anything, and it's
Speaker 1: just for fun and it's just to give people, you know,
Speaker 1: people there are podcasts that recap everything, So we're like,
Speaker 1: why don't we just recap You know, we're no oscars
Speaker 1: or enemies. You know, my opinion does not matter. But
Speaker 1: it's just a light, fun show where we're going to
Speaker 1: just do a little recap and what's the name of it?
Speaker 1: The net chicks I love so much. I'm so excited
Speaker 1: for you. And when it comes out, you better to
Speaker 1: believe that wind Down will be promoting I'll be promoting
Speaker 1: the heck out of it because we love you well.
Speaker 1: You can come on and we'll talk, you know, our shows,
Speaker 1: and then obviously Mike's gonna have to come talk to
Speaker 1: the honest obviously, And then I just want to check
Speaker 1: in really fast. How are you with um everything post miscarriage.
Speaker 1: I'm good. I just feel like I'm better. I'm much better,
Speaker 1: but I still obsessed. It's just there. And that's why
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't know when it goes away or
Speaker 1: when you are okay or when you stop obsessing. But
Speaker 1: are you and I still trying. I'm just scared you
Speaker 1: haven't tried as much as as much as I'm like tough,
Speaker 1: and I'm just I'm so scared, which this might be
Speaker 1: too much info, but nobody tells you about the first
Speaker 1: period after them. I mean I was traumatized, like I
Speaker 1: literally was having like PTSD and I was like, I
Speaker 1: I can't go through this again. And so I'm just scared,
Speaker 1: right now, which again, I don't know if that ever
Speaker 1: goes away, but I'm just happy to have something else
Speaker 1: take take my mind over because I was obsessed. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's all I thought about. It's still all I think about,
Speaker 1: but it's you become obsessive, and that's what scares me.
Speaker 1: So it breaks my heart. And I please don't take
Speaker 1: this the anyway, but I'll say from experience and the
Speaker 1: only thing that truly helped me make me forget about it, unfortunately,
Speaker 1: and this sucks, and I hope this is in the
Speaker 1: case for you. But it wasn't until I was pregnant again.
Speaker 1: M hm. So it's like I, I hope that you can.
Speaker 1: I can't imagine the fear of not wanting to try again,
Speaker 1: but that might be the you know, you're gonna wonder
Speaker 1: when you're pregnant again, and then during your miscarriage. During
Speaker 1: your pregnancy, you're gonna wonder about miscarrying every day. But
Speaker 1: until you have that baby in your hands, that's when
Speaker 1: it goes away. For me, at least again. I won't
Speaker 1: go play golf with Tide because I refuse to learn,
Speaker 1: because I refused to not be good for that month
Speaker 1: or two months or however long. I just don't like
Speaker 1: not being really good at things. So I'm so afraid
Speaker 1: that we're going to spend a month or a two,
Speaker 1: or three however many months and I won't get pregnant,
Speaker 1: and then I'll just freak out inspiral. And I know
Speaker 1: it takes time, and I know some people it's taken
Speaker 1: ten years, but me, personally, I don't do well with
Speaker 1: not being good at things. That's just one of my things.
Speaker 1: And so I'm so the fear of not being good
Speaker 1: or pregnant is what's stopping me. It's almost like that.
Speaker 1: It's like a trauma. It's like almost like a trauma.
Speaker 1: Hold honor you if you talk to someone about that,
Speaker 1: to maybe help release some of those so that you
Speaker 1: can not have it be so heavy for you. No,
Speaker 1: I just feel like I've been working out a lot
Speaker 1: because I feel better, But then I'm scared. Am I
Speaker 1: working out too hard? Am I working out too much?
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Like? Is this hurting my body?
Speaker 1: So I don't know, it's just I would like to
Speaker 1: be out of quarantine. I would like this all to end.
Speaker 1: I feel like, not that it's ever easy, but I
Speaker 1: feel like it would be a lot easier if I
Speaker 1: could like go live my life, you know, I wouldn't
Speaker 1: obsess as much as I have. But that's okay, it
Speaker 1: will happen. We're gonna will. Y'all just need to keep
Speaker 1: having sex, I know, and we are. I'm just scared
Speaker 1: to do it during certain time. I'm just scared. It's
Speaker 1: it's all fear. I think you should talk to someone
Speaker 1: to help, because I could talk to you and blew
Speaker 1: my face on your friends. But I think there's something.
Speaker 1: I think there's the some kind of PTSD from that
Speaker 1: has just escalated those other feelings that you've always had.
Speaker 1: In my opinion, I don't know, what do you think? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, it's just like anything. You know. It's almost like, uh,
Speaker 1: when you're a kid and you get advice to your parents,
Speaker 1: like you don't want to accept it because you're like
Speaker 1: his mom, dad, But if a friend or someone else
Speaker 1: says the same thing, you're like, Okay. It's kind of
Speaker 1: the same with this kind of stuff you hear from
Speaker 1: your friends because you feel like they have to say
Speaker 1: something make you feel better, or if you go to
Speaker 1: a third party it's like okay, No, I mean I know,
Speaker 1: I'm like I'm doing it to myself, you know, like
Speaker 1: I'm letting it marinate in my mind and control, which
Speaker 1: is why I'm happy to try and do things to
Speaker 1: where it's not so controlling. Well, I think people should
Speaker 1: check out The net Chicks so they can at least
Speaker 1: at least follow on Instagram with the Instagram Sarah. Um,
Speaker 1: the nut Chicks on Instagram because we're updating. Yeah, there
Speaker 1: will be. If you're looking for miscarriage talk or for
Speaker 1: me to crop, it's not going to happen on the
Speaker 1: Nut Chicks. It'll happen here on Wine Down, It'll happen here.
Speaker 1: And the Nut Chicks is where I go, and I
Speaker 1: pretend like nothing exists, Nothing else exists except for um,
Speaker 1: what I'm watching on Netflix and Bravo perfect. I love it, Sarah,
Speaker 1: and I love you and um you know what. Um Yeah,
Speaker 1: we just everyone here at wind loves you. I love
Speaker 1: you guys. Everyone's just in it right now. And I
Speaker 1: think I think that the takeaway for this episode is
Speaker 1: that nothing is perfect. We're all in this season together
Speaker 1: and we're all going to get through it together. So
Speaker 1: let's and it will get better whatever it is. Yeah,
Speaker 1: hide the monitor, go outside, start a podcast, whatever. We'll
Speaker 1: make you happy and fulfilled and takes you away. But
Speaker 1: also just know that there's people struggling with you. You're
Speaker 1: not alone. Amen, all right, See you all next week,
Speaker 1: hie guys,