WEBVTT - Fighting the Nap 0:00:01.680 --> 0:00:08.280 Find down Michael and I'm Farm Radio Podcast. Alright, guys, 0:00:08.280 --> 0:00:12.240 happy Monday. It's actually Monday today. It is actually Monday today. Um, 0:00:12.280 --> 0:00:17.640 we've got the beautiful Sarah Gretzky on with us. My friend, Hi, 0:00:18.040 --> 0:00:19.639 are you in l A right now? Or where are 0:00:19.640 --> 0:00:23.800 you at? I'm in l A. Yeah, we're still here, 0:00:24.600 --> 0:00:29.680 still there. Um. How is ties thirtieth birthday? I mean, 0:00:29.760 --> 0:00:32.040 as good as it could be? Yeah, where'd you guys go? 0:00:33.040 --> 0:00:34.960 We just went out to his parents house and I 0:00:35.080 --> 0:00:37.240 just tried to like surprise him as best I could 0:00:37.479 --> 0:00:41.800 with cake, cookies and like like here's a bunch of 0:00:41.800 --> 0:00:46.600 balloons and the word surprise, surprise. I'm like, I love birthdays, 0:00:47.400 --> 0:00:50.600 So I tried, But I think everyone is kind of like, Okay, 0:00:50.640 --> 0:00:53.239 this year's a wash. Next year, everyone's birthdays are going 0:00:53.320 --> 0:00:55.720 to be like it. There's gonna be high expectations for 0:00:57.000 --> 0:01:02.280 across the board. True. Um, okay, So I'm sorry about 0:01:02.560 --> 0:01:05.200 um our Monday Morning listeners who like to listen first 0:01:05.200 --> 0:01:09.440 thing in the morning. Um. We held this or we 0:01:09.440 --> 0:01:11.880 were recording today for a few reasons. One we want 0:01:11.920 --> 0:01:14.119 to keep it topical with everything going on with Jason, 0:01:14.200 --> 0:01:20.120 and two we have a amazing couple coming on. Um 0:01:20.160 --> 0:01:25.040 they're huge and uh Housewives, if any Housewives fans are 0:01:25.040 --> 0:01:27.520 out there, which is another reason why our amazing correspondent 0:01:27.600 --> 0:01:30.200 Sarah Gretzky is going to be on the show with 0:01:30.280 --> 0:01:34.680 us today. UM. So so yeah, so we're we're really excited. 0:01:34.720 --> 0:01:36.240 But just for those of you that don't really know 0:01:36.280 --> 0:01:38.000 what's going on, I mean, I feel like silly to 0:01:38.600 --> 0:01:41.000 make it be like this dramatic thing, but I'm just 0:01:41.520 --> 0:01:44.440 Jason is in a sleep regression and I'm having just 0:01:44.480 --> 0:01:48.360 a really really really hard time, and you know, one 0:01:48.400 --> 0:01:50.600 person saying this and the other person says this, and 0:01:50.640 --> 0:01:52.280 then it's like it all depends on the kid. And 0:01:52.320 --> 0:01:54.840 so we're gonna have two specialists come on too, and 0:01:54.960 --> 0:01:57.560 they're they're very they're different to one is saying do 0:01:57.600 --> 0:01:59.200 this and want to sing the other, which is honestly 0:01:59.240 --> 0:02:02.920 further it's making me more confused. But I know at 0:02:02.920 --> 0:02:04.200 the end of the day, you know, maybe the end 0:02:04.200 --> 0:02:06.160 of this podcast will figure out what's best for us, 0:02:06.920 --> 0:02:10.639 um from the information that's given. And Sarah, I know, um, 0:02:10.800 --> 0:02:12.640 you know, you you're on your journey right now with 0:02:12.720 --> 0:02:15.359 trying to have a kid, So take some notes because 0:02:15.680 --> 0:02:21.600 both of these UM sleep experts are amazing. UM, so yeah, 0:02:21.639 --> 0:02:23.919 I just what are you what are you thinking? Beb. 0:02:24.440 --> 0:02:27.800 I mean it's I'm like literally looking sorry at the monitor, 0:02:27.919 --> 0:02:31.079 just like please please. Yeah, it's tough, and it is. 0:02:31.240 --> 0:02:35.080 It has been exhausting because you want you just feel 0:02:35.080 --> 0:02:37.960 bad for we just feel bad for Jay's and with 0:02:38.000 --> 0:02:40.120 the specialist that we have come on, it's like we're 0:02:40.120 --> 0:02:41.960 going to take a little bit from both of them 0:02:42.000 --> 0:02:46.799 because ultimately, there's no perfect right way to do things. 0:02:47.040 --> 0:02:49.480 It all depends on your kid, and every kid is different. 0:02:49.560 --> 0:02:51.480 So I'm excited to get these ladies on and talk 0:02:51.520 --> 0:02:54.120 to him about it. And I'm just looking at the 0:02:54.120 --> 0:02:56.000 monitor right now, and he just threw his Levy and 0:02:56.000 --> 0:02:57.840 Webby out again, and it just breaks my heart because 0:02:57.840 --> 0:02:59.640 that's like the thing that soothes him. So it just 0:03:00.480 --> 0:03:01.880 I'm like, I want to go back and give it 0:03:01.919 --> 0:03:06.440 to him. But the lady that we're about to introduce, um, 0:03:06.600 --> 0:03:10.720 she's in the waiting room right now, so let's uh, 0:03:10.880 --> 0:03:13.320 let's bring her on, all right, So we have the 0:03:13.440 --> 0:03:18.359 wonderful Elena McGain. Is that did I say that? Correct? Yeah? Atlanta, Atlanta, 0:03:18.400 --> 0:03:21.919 I'm so sorry, Atlanta McGain it's all right. Janna gets 0:03:21.919 --> 0:03:26.840 that too. She gets Jina. So I have been talking 0:03:26.880 --> 0:03:29.800 to her for for quite a while, um since basically 0:03:29.880 --> 0:03:34.680 Jason was a baby, right yeah, and already nineteen months. 0:03:34.720 --> 0:03:37.560 I know it's insane, and he'll be he'll be twenty 0:03:37.560 --> 0:03:41.760 months in like to like two weeks. But so I'm 0:03:41.800 --> 0:03:45.160 and by the way, everyone needs to go on her Instagram. 0:03:45.280 --> 0:03:49.480 It's good Night's Sleep site dot com. Um, that's her website, 0:03:49.560 --> 0:03:53.120 and it's just good Night's Sleep for Instagram, right, g 0:03:53.400 --> 0:03:57.880 N sleep site. Okay, So I'm having I'm like, I'm 0:03:57.920 --> 0:04:01.160 having just really bad anxiety around us. And obviously I'm 0:04:01.280 --> 0:04:03.640 so embarrassed by the thing that I posted yesterday. But 0:04:04.440 --> 0:04:07.240 at the same time I was legit. Mike was texting me. 0:04:07.240 --> 0:04:08.560 He's like, where are you out? And I'm like, I'm 0:04:08.680 --> 0:04:10.920 bawling in the other room and I'm having a panic attack. 0:04:11.160 --> 0:04:14.120 And you know, Jace right now was fighting his nap 0:04:14.200 --> 0:04:16.279 and he threw all of his lovees and bubbies out 0:04:16.880 --> 0:04:19.400 and Mike and I was afraid he had pooped. So 0:04:19.440 --> 0:04:21.359 I said, you know, He's like, well do I go 0:04:21.400 --> 0:04:23.320 in there? And I'm like, I don't know the right answer, 0:04:23.360 --> 0:04:25.120 but he did go in there too because he did 0:04:25.120 --> 0:04:28.080 poop and so he changed his diaper. But now again he, 0:04:28.400 --> 0:04:31.520 Mike and him were throwing back the loving bubby. I 0:04:31.520 --> 0:04:33.200 couldn't even get him to keep it in the crib 0:04:33.200 --> 0:04:37.120 long enough to get out of the room. He's like, 0:04:37.200 --> 0:04:41.680 this is fun. Yeah, let's play a game. So long 0:04:41.720 --> 0:04:43.679 story short, you know, he had it for a second 0:04:43.800 --> 0:04:46.039 and now he's I'm watching him in the monitor and 0:04:46.080 --> 0:04:48.919 it's he's trying to reach for it, and I'm my 0:04:48.960 --> 0:04:50.720 heart is breaking, like I want to go back in 0:04:50.760 --> 0:04:52.720 and give it to him, but you're not letting me. 0:04:55.080 --> 0:04:57.400 I'm not I'm not letting you. And here's the deal. 0:04:57.400 --> 0:04:59.599 I mean your post yesterday. Honestly I wanted to like 0:04:59.640 --> 0:05:01.920 fall through my phone and on you because I know, 0:05:02.000 --> 0:05:03.640 like it's and this is exactly what I said to you. 0:05:03.800 --> 0:05:06.560 It's so easy for me to just say, Janet, don't 0:05:06.560 --> 0:05:08.320 go in the room, but you're the one that has 0:05:08.360 --> 0:05:11.320 to do it. And it's hard, especially when they're that 0:05:11.520 --> 0:05:14.440 age nineteen months and now he can talk and he 0:05:14.480 --> 0:05:17.280 can use more words, and it's it just pulls at 0:05:17.320 --> 0:05:19.960 those hard strings. But he's playing a game right now. 0:05:20.040 --> 0:05:22.600 And there's a reason we know what's going on with him. 0:05:22.640 --> 0:05:25.080 I mean, a let's look at where we are in 0:05:25.120 --> 0:05:28.200 the world right now. You're not alone in sleep struggles 0:05:28.200 --> 0:05:29.880 that are popping up all of a sudden because he 0:05:29.960 --> 0:05:32.200 was a great super he was taking amazing naps. He 0:05:32.279 --> 0:05:34.760 was sleeping really well. We know that he can do it. 0:05:35.279 --> 0:05:38.400 But you know, routines have been more relaxed in all 0:05:38.480 --> 0:05:41.320 house schools, just given the fact that we're all home 0:05:41.440 --> 0:05:43.320 and there isn't a whole lot of routines going on, 0:05:43.640 --> 0:05:46.000 coupled with the fact that he just came off a vacation, 0:05:46.120 --> 0:05:49.560 so routines were probably more relaxed than it's normal to 0:05:49.680 --> 0:05:53.320 be thinking to be seeing what we're seeing happening with him. Um. 0:05:53.360 --> 0:05:55.040 And then given his age, you know, we talked a 0:05:55.080 --> 0:05:58.239 little bit about the eighteen month progression. You know, anywhere 0:05:58.279 --> 0:06:01.039 between eighteen to twenty months. That doesn't mean it can't 0:06:01.040 --> 0:06:03.280 happen before e two months, that doesn't mean it can 0:06:03.360 --> 0:06:07.000 happen maybe twenty three months. But a lot of it 0:06:07.200 --> 0:06:11.280 is behavioral. Yes, there's teething issues, Um, yes, there is. 0:06:11.800 --> 0:06:14.360 He's learning so much, there's a new develop until milestones 0:06:14.400 --> 0:06:16.880 that he's hitting that can be playing a role in it, Um, 0:06:16.960 --> 0:06:19.760 But a lot of it is trying to take that control. 0:06:19.800 --> 0:06:21.680 And that's what he's doing with throwing out the levees 0:06:21.720 --> 0:06:23.440 and you guys are throwing it back and he keeps 0:06:23.440 --> 0:06:25.880 throwing it back. It's like a game for him. So 0:06:26.360 --> 0:06:29.919 if we keep kind of giving him essentially what he 0:06:30.000 --> 0:06:32.560 wants by giving him the lovey, he has to learn 0:06:32.600 --> 0:06:35.520 that there's consequences to his actions and when he throws 0:06:35.560 --> 0:06:37.839 it out, if we keep giving it back, well why 0:06:37.839 --> 0:06:40.520 would he Why would he stop or why would he 0:06:40.560 --> 0:06:43.120 not stop doing what he's doing. So it's important. I 0:06:43.120 --> 0:06:45.680 know it's hard, but it's important for him to understand 0:06:45.680 --> 0:06:47.440 that if he throws it out, he throws it out, 0:06:47.560 --> 0:06:49.119 he doesn't get it for the rest of the nap 0:06:49.240 --> 0:06:51.680 or the rest of the night. And yes, it's it's 0:06:51.839 --> 0:06:53.839 what I said to Yes, it's gonna be harder on 0:06:53.920 --> 0:06:56.040 you than it is on him. And I know that's 0:06:56.080 --> 0:06:58.359 hard to see when you're in it, but that is 0:06:58.400 --> 0:07:06.919 the case. How does that feel, honey, Um, I'm just 0:07:07.000 --> 0:07:09.000 I just feel like a bad mom. Like even like 0:07:09.080 --> 0:07:11.120 last night and I was reading messages and it's like 0:07:11.720 --> 0:07:13.600 going and hug your baby and I'm like, oh my God, 0:07:13.600 --> 0:07:16.560 I'm the worst mom ever for like not going in 0:07:16.640 --> 0:07:18.520 and like letting him cry it out, and like I 0:07:18.520 --> 0:07:20.080 don't know if it has something to do with like 0:07:20.120 --> 0:07:22.760 that he was in my body and I helped create him, 0:07:22.800 --> 0:07:25.960 but it's like he's like my person and he's like 0:07:26.120 --> 0:07:29.400 bawling and screaming our names, and I'm like I want 0:07:29.440 --> 0:07:32.280 to like go hold him and like rock him to sleep, 0:07:32.280 --> 0:07:34.560 but I know that, like you know, and and do 0:07:34.640 --> 0:07:36.400 the like come in and come out, but like I 0:07:36.440 --> 0:07:38.800 know that's not gonna work for him. Like he he 0:07:38.960 --> 0:07:40.760 was fine a week ago, and it was because we 0:07:41.280 --> 0:07:44.720 cuddled him in the bed, you know, because he wouldn't 0:07:44.720 --> 0:07:47.480 sleep his naps when we went up north, and like 0:07:47.600 --> 0:07:51.680 so we made those little mistakes just because I didn't 0:07:51.680 --> 0:07:55.520 think it would like totally screw him up. And now 0:07:55.640 --> 0:07:57.440 I just feel like a terrible mom because I'm like 0:07:57.600 --> 0:08:00.160 he's like yesterday when he was up at four where 0:08:00.160 --> 0:08:02.440 am and didn't go to sleep, didn't take a nap, 0:08:02.840 --> 0:08:04.560 I was swinging him on the swing and he was 0:08:04.640 --> 0:08:07.600 falling asleep and like the dudes exhausted, and then like 0:08:08.040 --> 0:08:11.360 he cried another two hours in the crib yesterday before 0:08:11.360 --> 0:08:13.040 we fell asleep. And that's when I just had like 0:08:13.080 --> 0:08:15.240 my breaking point where I'm just like, I feel awful 0:08:16.320 --> 0:08:19.720 and I'm like I just need to like, yeah, go ahead, sorry, no, 0:08:20.000 --> 0:08:22.360 it's listen and I get it. And I know you 0:08:22.400 --> 0:08:24.560 feel awful, and I know you feel like an awful mom, 0:08:24.600 --> 0:08:26.600 but you're not. I mean, we know this kid is 0:08:26.640 --> 0:08:31.360 loved seven. He knows that he's loved seven, um, And 0:08:31.400 --> 0:08:33.720 the most important part is that we know he's capable. 0:08:33.800 --> 0:08:35.800 And that's what I try and explain to parents is, 0:08:36.080 --> 0:08:38.199 you know, often when we hear the term self soothing, 0:08:38.320 --> 0:08:40.280 I think we have to kind of almost forget that 0:08:40.440 --> 0:08:42.520 term and instead we have to teach for kids that 0:08:42.600 --> 0:08:45.280 they're capable of doing it, and not just teach them 0:08:45.679 --> 0:08:48.640 so that they understand that they're capable, but also so 0:08:48.679 --> 0:08:51.800 that they know that you guys think he's capable of 0:08:51.840 --> 0:08:53.800 doing it. So listen. At the end of the day, 0:08:53.840 --> 0:08:56.280 I will never tell a parent to not go in 0:08:56.320 --> 0:08:59.480 a room and hold and cuttle their kid and sleep training. 0:08:59.520 --> 0:09:01.480 This isn't certainly what we're doing with Jays because we've 0:09:01.480 --> 0:09:03.240 been through the sleep training period. We know that he 0:09:03.280 --> 0:09:05.600 has that skill in place. Is just we're just kind 0:09:05.600 --> 0:09:08.760 of brushing off the cobwebs a little bit. Um. You 0:09:08.800 --> 0:09:10.760 know the fact that that we know that he can 0:09:10.800 --> 0:09:14.480 do it, we have to just keep allowing him to 0:09:15.440 --> 0:09:18.520 practice it and also just keep showing him that you 0:09:18.559 --> 0:09:20.280 guys know that he's getable of doing it and he 0:09:20.320 --> 0:09:22.719 needs to see that. So if you're going in and 0:09:22.720 --> 0:09:24.640 helping him do it, or you're going in and giving 0:09:24.679 --> 0:09:27.480 him back the lovey, or or responding to him in 0:09:27.520 --> 0:09:29.920 a way that he wants you to respond to him, yes, 0:09:29.960 --> 0:09:32.079 he's happy because he's getting the response that he wants 0:09:32.120 --> 0:09:34.000 and in a way also, it's also kind of showing 0:09:34.040 --> 0:09:36.440 him that, um that he needs that you think he 0:09:36.440 --> 0:09:38.960 needs his help, that you sorry, I'm saying this wrong, 0:09:39.240 --> 0:09:41.920 that you think that he thinks that you need to 0:09:41.960 --> 0:09:45.240 help him do it. But am I explaining this right? 0:09:45.280 --> 0:09:46.920 I'm like all over the place, But you know what 0:09:46.960 --> 0:09:51.000 I'm trying to say. Yeah, so listen, I know it's hard, 0:09:51.120 --> 0:09:52.480 and I know you fee look an awful mom, but 0:09:52.559 --> 0:09:54.000 you know you're not an awful mom, and you have 0:09:54.080 --> 0:09:57.080 a supportive hobby which helps you know. It's an important 0:09:57.120 --> 0:09:59.480 that you guys work as a team and that you 0:09:59.480 --> 0:10:03.440 guys are insistent with however, you're responding to him, and 0:10:03.480 --> 0:10:05.760 you've got to be especially when we're dealing with toddlers 0:10:05.800 --> 0:10:08.400 and that's the stage that he's in. It's so important 0:10:08.440 --> 0:10:10.640 to be consistent on the follow three because if we're 0:10:10.640 --> 0:10:13.559 all over the place, he's going to be just as 0:10:13.559 --> 0:10:17.480 confused in in what the expectations are. Alana, your mother 0:10:17.520 --> 0:10:20.800 of three, did you when you were doing going through 0:10:20.800 --> 0:10:23.720 all of this with your three kids, did you notice 0:10:23.840 --> 0:10:26.240 much of a difference like kid by kid or is 0:10:26.400 --> 0:10:29.760 kind of your belief system? Is it fairly universal across 0:10:29.800 --> 0:10:33.320 the board? And I love that you that you asked 0:10:33.320 --> 0:10:35.000 me that question. So I do have three kids. I 0:10:35.000 --> 0:10:37.400 have two daughters and a son. My youngest are twins 0:10:37.440 --> 0:10:39.920 boy girl twins UM and every kid is different. I'm 0:10:39.920 --> 0:10:43.840 actually gonna do a post about this UM specific topic 0:10:44.080 --> 0:10:47.000 on my Instagram and in a few days. But we 0:10:47.120 --> 0:10:49.840 can't expect all of our kids to respond the same way. 0:10:49.880 --> 0:10:52.240 So how did Julie responded to sleep training might not 0:10:52.320 --> 0:10:53.960 be the same as Jay's. And I even said to 0:10:54.000 --> 0:10:56.599 you when we were talking about the eighteen regression, I 0:10:56.640 --> 0:10:59.559 almost didn't believe it because my two daughters never went 0:10:59.600 --> 0:11:02.480 through it until my son UM and not to say 0:11:02.520 --> 0:11:04.640 that more boys go through the eighteen month and girls, 0:11:04.679 --> 0:11:07.400 because I don't have the data to prove that. Um, 0:11:07.400 --> 0:11:09.319 But he went through the exact same thing at around 0:11:09.440 --> 0:11:12.800 eighteen nineteen months. You know, just and my kids are 0:11:12.800 --> 0:11:14.880 good sleepers. I always say, would be really weird if 0:11:14.960 --> 0:11:18.640 I heard good sleepers given what I do. Um. But 0:11:18.720 --> 0:11:20.880 you know, all of a sudden in this awesome sleeper, 0:11:21.120 --> 0:11:24.079 just the same thing would start screaming, crying at three 0:11:24.160 --> 0:11:27.040 or four o'clock in the morning, started knap strikes for 0:11:27.080 --> 0:11:30.520 no other reason than what I believe to be behavioral. 0:11:30.840 --> 0:11:32.880 So it was just putting a plan in place that 0:11:32.920 --> 0:11:36.320 we are consistent with. So every child is different. Um, 0:11:36.920 --> 0:11:39.800 the sleep plan you put together for each child may 0:11:39.840 --> 0:11:42.360 be different. The most important thing and the only thing 0:11:42.400 --> 0:11:45.160 that really is the same as the consistency and follow through. 0:11:46.200 --> 0:11:50.120 Is it Is it different for like or do you 0:11:50.280 --> 0:11:52.720 think like? Okay? So if someone else were to say no, 0:11:52.880 --> 0:11:55.000 you should go in at the five mark, the fifteen mark, 0:11:55.040 --> 0:11:56.840 the thirty mark, and then in an hour take him 0:11:56.880 --> 0:12:01.720 out like is that is it? Does certain sleep training 0:12:01.760 --> 0:12:06.560 methods work for different kids? Absolutely? Yes, um, And that's 0:12:06.559 --> 0:12:09.560 what we do at GOOD I mean mostly at night, UM, 0:12:09.559 --> 0:12:11.760 when we're talking about like an interval check or a 0:12:11.840 --> 0:12:13.840 more gradual check where the parents are in the room, 0:12:13.960 --> 0:12:18.120 or a more direct approach where we're talking about extinction. UM. 0:12:18.160 --> 0:12:21.200 It really depends on the personality and the temperament of 0:12:21.240 --> 0:12:23.800 the child when we're dealing with the situation like we 0:12:23.840 --> 0:12:25.880 are with Jas though, the fact that we know that 0:12:25.920 --> 0:12:28.920 he can do it because he has been doing it, 0:12:28.920 --> 0:12:31.720 it's not necessarily what method do we choose now. We 0:12:31.800 --> 0:12:34.240 just have to kind of allow him to get back 0:12:34.240 --> 0:12:36.600 on track, which means you guys have to get back 0:12:36.600 --> 0:12:38.680 on track. So it's a little bit of a different 0:12:38.679 --> 0:12:41.560 situation than if we were starting fresh um and doing 0:12:41.679 --> 0:12:44.360 you know, complete sleep training. But absolutely the method that 0:12:44.600 --> 0:12:47.199 anyone who's listening, if you're thinking of choosing a method 0:12:47.200 --> 0:12:50.360 of sleep training, you have to think what method would 0:12:50.440 --> 0:12:52.680 work best for your child. But at the end of 0:12:52.679 --> 0:12:55.080 the day, you also have to choose the method that 0:12:55.120 --> 0:12:57.640 works best for you as a parent and you as 0:12:57.640 --> 0:13:01.440 the team, because you have to be comfortable with whatever 0:13:01.480 --> 0:13:03.120 method you're using, or else you're not going to be 0:13:03.160 --> 0:13:05.239 consistent with it and then you're not going to be successful. 0:13:05.360 --> 0:13:07.640 I mean, I want the every kid sleep in my 0:13:07.679 --> 0:13:11.959 bed method, but Michael won't let me down on that. 0:13:12.080 --> 0:13:15.000 Early on, Sarah, would you would you let the baby 0:13:15.040 --> 0:13:16.599 sleep in the room or would you and Ty be 0:13:16.760 --> 0:13:19.120 like no in our room or like when they cry 0:13:19.320 --> 0:13:22.000 like okay, so like a lot of um like my 0:13:22.040 --> 0:13:26.720 friend Kristen like the babies sleep in their bed. I mean, 0:13:27.200 --> 0:13:31.800 from what I've seen with my older sisters, no, I 0:13:31.840 --> 0:13:36.680 don't want them sleeping in my bed. But I'm a sleeper, 0:13:36.880 --> 0:13:38.280 so this is something Ty and I are going to 0:13:38.400 --> 0:13:42.080 have to adjust to because we can both sleep through anything, 0:13:42.760 --> 0:13:44.760 and we can sleep for a long time. So like 0:13:45.080 --> 0:13:48.120 we're going to have to adjust big time. He's gonna 0:13:48.160 --> 0:13:50.800 want them in the bed. I just and and I 0:13:50.840 --> 0:13:54.160 know it's like the worst thing to do, right well, 0:13:54.200 --> 0:13:56.720 I mean, here's the thing, as as a sleep professional, 0:13:56.800 --> 0:13:58.880 any choice that a parent makes is the choice that 0:13:58.960 --> 0:14:00.480 the parent makes. So I don't want say you know 0:14:00.559 --> 0:14:02.520 it's wrong or it's a bad even I know you 0:14:02.559 --> 0:14:04.640 had said you know what we did on vacation, I 0:14:04.679 --> 0:14:08.000 did bad things. I don't want anyone to take that away. 0:14:08.040 --> 0:14:11.960 But you have to do what works for you. But 0:14:12.040 --> 0:14:15.480 as a sleep professional, I can't talk about and I 0:14:15.520 --> 0:14:17.480 know You've had this conversation a few times, is I 0:14:17.520 --> 0:14:20.040 can't talk about I always have talked about safe sleep, 0:14:20.160 --> 0:14:21.920 so you know, I have to make sure that the 0:14:21.960 --> 0:14:24.520 baby or the child is sleeping in the safest environment. 0:14:24.680 --> 0:14:27.360 So when we're talking about, you know, room sharing versus 0:14:27.360 --> 0:14:31.920 bed sharing, I'm always always UM talking more about room sharing. 0:14:31.960 --> 0:14:34.200 So baby can sleep in your room, UM, in their 0:14:34.240 --> 0:14:37.520 own separate, safe environment, UM. But still room sharing. You 0:14:37.560 --> 0:14:40.200 can do that until whenever you want to do that, UM. 0:14:40.200 --> 0:14:42.960 But when we're talking about getting baby into bed with you, 0:14:43.080 --> 0:14:47.440 that's when things can potentially become unsafe. I think where 0:14:47.960 --> 0:14:52.280 I'm really upset is when when we were in Michigan 0:14:52.280 --> 0:14:55.400 and the RV, he was scared, like because we weren't 0:14:55.440 --> 0:14:59.240 there and it was something different in out of sorts, 0:14:59.320 --> 0:15:02.720 and so that's I now I feel like he's scared again. 0:15:02.880 --> 0:15:05.240 Is that like, do they even know what's scared is 0:15:05.280 --> 0:15:09.160 at that age? Yeah? Absolutely. I mean at the age 0:15:09.160 --> 0:15:11.520 that he's at, he he understands things that make him 0:15:11.520 --> 0:15:16.480 feel uncomfortable or things that per perhaps um, promote fear UM. 0:15:16.640 --> 0:15:20.600 But I think because he's in his normal safe environment, 0:15:20.800 --> 0:15:22.480 he knows that you guys are there. It's not to 0:15:22.520 --> 0:15:24.560 say that he doesn't have any fears, and you can 0:15:24.600 --> 0:15:26.720 address those fears. I mean if you feel like it's 0:15:26.760 --> 0:15:28.640 something that he's you know, if you feel that your 0:15:28.680 --> 0:15:32.040 child has a nightmare or is perhaps feeling scared, you 0:15:32.080 --> 0:15:35.680 can absolutely comfort that child in that situation. But if 0:15:35.720 --> 0:15:39.600 you see where it's happening every single night, um, and 0:15:39.640 --> 0:15:42.000 it's going on weeks on end, then we have to 0:15:42.040 --> 0:15:45.600 look at Okay, what else is going on? Um? Is it? Now? 0:15:45.640 --> 0:15:48.760 Are we dealing with a behavioral aspect to it as well? 0:15:48.760 --> 0:15:52.560 Where he's understanding that, Um, you know what he the 0:15:52.640 --> 0:15:57.120 actions that he does, uh, provides a reaction from you guys, 0:15:57.200 --> 0:15:58.920 and the reaction that he wants is that you guys 0:15:58.960 --> 0:16:01.600 come in his room and hang a little bit. How 0:16:01.640 --> 0:16:05.440 long is this gonna last for? Because I don't know 0:16:05.440 --> 0:16:08.560 if I can handle this anxiety? I know, and I 0:16:08.600 --> 0:16:10.760 wish I had an answer. Unfortunately, every kid is different, 0:16:10.840 --> 0:16:14.320 like I was, you know staying before. Every child is different. Um, 0:16:14.400 --> 0:16:16.880 it could take Like I said, it's not an overnight thing. 0:16:17.320 --> 0:16:19.640 It could take a week. It could take a little 0:16:19.640 --> 0:16:22.120 bit longer, but it's gonna take longer if there's a 0:16:22.120 --> 0:16:23.760 lot of back and forth and how you guys are 0:16:23.800 --> 0:16:25.920 responding to us. Well, I definitely agree with what you're 0:16:25.920 --> 0:16:29.480 saying earlier, where it's really ultimately more difficult on us 0:16:29.480 --> 0:16:31.720 than it is for him. Yeah, And I was just 0:16:31.760 --> 0:16:33.880 telling some friends of ours we saw the other day 0:16:33.920 --> 0:16:36.240 they are about to have a baby. I'm like, once 0:16:36.320 --> 0:16:39.840 they the whole sleeping is like the game changer, you know. 0:16:39.960 --> 0:16:42.600 Jane and I've been fortunate where I've been following Jane's 0:16:42.640 --> 0:16:45.240 lead with both our kids, and Jane has been a 0:16:45.320 --> 0:16:47.000 heck of a sleep trainer and I just kind of 0:16:47.120 --> 0:16:51.480 fallen along and I just fall in line with Janna 0:16:51.600 --> 0:16:53.320 where we've been on the same page with that. But 0:16:53.480 --> 0:16:56.920 it's because we've we've been so spoiled with Jay's being 0:16:56.960 --> 0:16:58.760 such a good sleeper and such a good nappers, Like 0:16:58.840 --> 0:17:02.200 as soon as he's not, it feels like the worst 0:17:02.200 --> 0:17:06.040 thing ever. And also with with Jolie, we were traveling 0:17:06.680 --> 0:17:09.760 all over the country constantly, so Jolie would sleep on 0:17:09.800 --> 0:17:13.280 busses and packing plays and hotels and she was just 0:17:13.359 --> 0:17:14.480 used to that. I mean, we had her on a 0:17:14.560 --> 0:17:17.159 bus at how many months six weeks, right, yeah, how 0:17:17.160 --> 0:17:20.280 many weeks? So you know, now it's like anytime we 0:17:20.320 --> 0:17:23.280 travel with Jay's it throws a wrench in it because 0:17:23.320 --> 0:17:25.240 he's just not used to it. So it's just there's 0:17:25.600 --> 0:17:28.840 different lifestyle changes too that we've had to you know, 0:17:29.359 --> 0:17:31.639 become accustomed to. And it's just like once they stopped 0:17:31.640 --> 0:17:35.560 sleeping a little bit, just it really messes us up. Well. 0:17:35.600 --> 0:17:37.679 And when we were having the conversation too, I'm like, 0:17:38.200 --> 0:17:40.320 you know, remember how at the very beginning, like he 0:17:40.400 --> 0:17:42.560 wasn't a napper like he was, he always fought that 0:17:42.600 --> 0:17:47.280 first nap. Yeah, and so remember that. It's like, well, 0:17:47.680 --> 0:17:50.200 I God, I don't want to stop a nap, but like, 0:17:50.600 --> 0:17:54.879 does he really need this nap? He does? Yes, and 0:17:54.880 --> 0:17:57.280 I And that's what I don't want you taking away 0:17:57.320 --> 0:17:59.800 from this is that, you know, Okay, he could be 0:17:59.840 --> 0:18:02.840 done for nats, he's still little to drop that nap entirely. 0:18:03.280 --> 0:18:07.400 And I with I'm gonna say ninety nine point nine 0:18:07.400 --> 0:18:10.960 percent confidence because I never say a hundred percent confidence. 0:18:11.440 --> 0:18:13.560 What we're seeing now is not because he doesn't need 0:18:13.600 --> 0:18:15.720 to sleep. I mean, I saw that video yesterday, but 0:18:15.840 --> 0:18:18.159 you guys posted and those retired little eyes on that 0:18:18.200 --> 0:18:22.000 little guy, so um, he's so cute. So you know, 0:18:22.480 --> 0:18:24.639 a lot of what we're seeing with naptime yesterday, and 0:18:24.720 --> 0:18:26.679 I think even going into bedtime because he didn't have 0:18:26.720 --> 0:18:28.919 that nap, a lot of it was overtired nous. But 0:18:29.240 --> 0:18:30.879 you know, just like when he was little, when we 0:18:31.000 --> 0:18:33.159 first started working together, I always say, it's almost like 0:18:33.160 --> 0:18:35.560 we have to push them into an overtired state to 0:18:35.600 --> 0:18:38.200 get them out of that overtired state, because it's really 0:18:38.280 --> 0:18:40.680 important to be consistent with what time we're putting it 0:18:40.800 --> 0:18:43.960 down at, with how we're handling those short wakings or 0:18:44.000 --> 0:18:47.000 those short naps, how we're handling that those bedtime battles, 0:18:47.359 --> 0:18:49.879 and he will pull out of this. He was pulling 0:18:49.880 --> 0:18:52.560 those three hour naps before this, you know, like he 0:18:52.800 --> 0:18:56.280 still needs to sleep. It's it's it would it would 0:18:57.040 --> 0:18:59.880 do more harm than good to to cut his naps 0:18:59.880 --> 0:19:02.679 at this point. Okay, well, I'm going to text you 0:19:02.720 --> 0:19:04.359 later because I need to see what time since I 0:19:04.400 --> 0:19:08.080 know he's not gonna natas he's reaching for his wabby 0:19:08.440 --> 0:19:17.720 like he looks like he's in just get it closer. Um, 0:19:18.280 --> 0:19:21.119 I mean, he'll he'll understand that by doing that, you know, 0:19:21.240 --> 0:19:22.959 he's not going to be getting his webby. And then 0:19:23.000 --> 0:19:24.960 we'll talk about his little webby and well maybe we're 0:19:24.960 --> 0:19:30.280 going to get rid of that. I'm not ready. All right, 0:19:30.320 --> 0:19:31.960 Well i'll text you later because I'm I need to 0:19:31.960 --> 0:19:33.880 see about nighttime. What time I've to put them down? 0:19:33.880 --> 0:19:38.000 So thank you so much, everybody. Okay, plug yourself right now. Girlfriend. Uh, 0:19:38.560 --> 0:19:40.280