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Speaker 1: Find down Michael and I'm Farm Radio Podcast. Alright, guys,

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Speaker 1: happy Monday. It's actually Monday today. It is actually Monday today. Um,

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Speaker 1: we've got the beautiful Sarah Gretzky on with us. My friend, Hi,

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Speaker 1: are you in l A right now? Or where are

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Speaker 1: you at? I'm in l A. Yeah, we're still here,

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Speaker 1: still there. Um. How is ties thirtieth birthday? I mean,

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Speaker 1: as good as it could be? Yeah, where'd you guys go?

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Speaker 1: We just went out to his parents house and I

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Speaker 1: just tried to like surprise him as best I could

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Speaker 1: with cake, cookies and like like here's a bunch of

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Speaker 1: balloons and the word surprise, surprise. I'm like, I love birthdays,

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Speaker 1: So I tried, But I think everyone is kind of like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: this year's a wash. Next year, everyone's birthdays are going

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Speaker 1: to be like it. There's gonna be high expectations for

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Speaker 1: across the board. True. Um, okay, So I'm sorry about

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Speaker 1: um our Monday Morning listeners who like to listen first

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Speaker 1: thing in the morning. Um. We held this or we

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Speaker 1: were recording today for a few reasons. One we want

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Speaker 1: to keep it topical with everything going on with Jason,

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Speaker 1: and two we have a amazing couple coming on. Um

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Speaker 1: they're huge and uh Housewives, if any Housewives fans are

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Speaker 1: out there, which is another reason why our amazing correspondent

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Speaker 1: Sarah Gretzky is going to be on the show with

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Speaker 1: us today. UM. So so yeah, so we're we're really excited.

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Speaker 1: But just for those of you that don't really know

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Speaker 1: what's going on, I mean, I feel like silly to

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Speaker 1: make it be like this dramatic thing, but I'm just

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Speaker 1: Jason is in a sleep regression and I'm having just

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Speaker 1: a really really really hard time, and you know, one

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Speaker 1: person saying this and the other person says this, and

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Speaker 1: then it's like it all depends on the kid. And

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Speaker 1: so we're gonna have two specialists come on too, and

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Speaker 1: they're they're very they're different to one is saying do

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Speaker 1: this and want to sing the other, which is honestly

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Speaker 1: further it's making me more confused. But I know at

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Speaker 1: the end of the day, you know, maybe the end

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Speaker 1: of this podcast will figure out what's best for us,

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Speaker 1: um from the information that's given. And Sarah, I know, um,

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Speaker 1: you know, you you're on your journey right now with

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Speaker 1: trying to have a kid, So take some notes because

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Speaker 1: both of these UM sleep experts are amazing. UM, so yeah,

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Speaker 1: I just what are you what are you thinking? Beb.

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Speaker 1: I mean it's I'm like literally looking sorry at the monitor,

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Speaker 1: just like please please. Yeah, it's tough, and it is.

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Speaker 1: It has been exhausting because you want you just feel

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Speaker 1: bad for we just feel bad for Jay's and with

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Speaker 1: the specialist that we have come on, it's like we're

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Speaker 1: going to take a little bit from both of them

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Speaker 1: because ultimately, there's no perfect right way to do things.

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Speaker 1: It all depends on your kid, and every kid is different.

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Speaker 1: So I'm excited to get these ladies on and talk

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Speaker 1: to him about it. And I'm just looking at the

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Speaker 1: monitor right now, and he just threw his Levy and

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Speaker 1: Webby out again, and it just breaks my heart because

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Speaker 1: that's like the thing that soothes him. So it just

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I want to go back and give it

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Speaker 1: to him. But the lady that we're about to introduce, um,

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Speaker 1: she's in the waiting room right now, so let's uh,

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Speaker 1: let's bring her on, all right, So we have the

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Speaker 1: wonderful Elena McGain. Is that did I say that? Correct? Yeah? Atlanta, Atlanta,

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Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, Atlanta McGain it's all right. Janna gets

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Speaker 1: that too. She gets Jina. So I have been talking

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Speaker 1: to her for for quite a while, um since basically

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Speaker 1: Jason was a baby, right yeah, and already nineteen months.

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Speaker 1: I know it's insane, and he'll be he'll be twenty

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Speaker 1: months in like to like two weeks. But so I'm

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Speaker 1: and by the way, everyone needs to go on her Instagram.

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Speaker 1: It's good Night's Sleep site dot com. Um, that's her website,

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Speaker 1: and it's just good Night's Sleep for Instagram, right, g

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Speaker 1: N sleep site. Okay, So I'm having I'm like, I'm

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Speaker 1: having just really bad anxiety around us. And obviously I'm

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Speaker 1: so embarrassed by the thing that I posted yesterday. But

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Speaker 1: at the same time I was legit. Mike was texting me.

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Speaker 1: He's like, where are you out? And I'm like, I'm

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Speaker 1: bawling in the other room and I'm having a panic attack.

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Speaker 1: And you know, Jace right now was fighting his nap

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Speaker 1: and he threw all of his lovees and bubbies out

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Speaker 1: and Mike and I was afraid he had pooped. So

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Speaker 1: I said, you know, He's like, well do I go

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Speaker 1: in there? And I'm like, I don't know the right answer,

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Speaker 1: but he did go in there too because he did

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Speaker 1: poop and so he changed his diaper. But now again he,

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Speaker 1: Mike and him were throwing back the loving bubby. I

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Speaker 1: couldn't even get him to keep it in the crib

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Speaker 1: long enough to get out of the room. He's like,

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Speaker 1: this is fun. Yeah, let's play a game. So long

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Speaker 1: story short, you know, he had it for a second

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Speaker 1: and now he's I'm watching him in the monitor and

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Speaker 1: it's he's trying to reach for it, and I'm my

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Speaker 1: heart is breaking, like I want to go back in

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Speaker 1: and give it to him, but you're not letting me.

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Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not letting you. And here's the deal.

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Speaker 1: I mean your post yesterday. Honestly I wanted to like

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Speaker 1: fall through my phone and on you because I know,

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Speaker 1: like it's and this is exactly what I said to you.

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Speaker 1: It's so easy for me to just say, Janet, don't

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Speaker 1: go in the room, but you're the one that has

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Speaker 1: to do it. And it's hard, especially when they're that

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Speaker 1: age nineteen months and now he can talk and he

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Speaker 1: can use more words, and it's it just pulls at

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Speaker 1: those hard strings. But he's playing a game right now.

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Speaker 1: And there's a reason we know what's going on with him.

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Speaker 1: I mean, a let's look at where we are in

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Speaker 1: the world right now. You're not alone in sleep struggles

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Speaker 1: that are popping up all of a sudden because he

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Speaker 1: was a great super he was taking amazing naps. He

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Speaker 1: was sleeping really well. We know that he can do it.

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Speaker 1: But you know, routines have been more relaxed in all

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Speaker 1: house schools, just given the fact that we're all home

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Speaker 1: and there isn't a whole lot of routines going on,

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Speaker 1: coupled with the fact that he just came off a vacation,

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Speaker 1: so routines were probably more relaxed than it's normal to

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Speaker 1: be thinking to be seeing what we're seeing happening with him. Um.

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Speaker 1: And then given his age, you know, we talked a

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Speaker 1: little bit about the eighteen month progression. You know, anywhere

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Speaker 1: between eighteen to twenty months. That doesn't mean it can't

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Speaker 1: happen before e two months, that doesn't mean it can

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Speaker 1: happen maybe twenty three months. But a lot of it

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Speaker 1: is behavioral. Yes, there's teething issues, Um, yes, there is.

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Speaker 1: He's learning so much, there's a new develop until milestones

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Speaker 1: that he's hitting that can be playing a role in it, Um,

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Speaker 1: But a lot of it is trying to take that control.

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Speaker 1: And that's what he's doing with throwing out the levees

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Speaker 1: and you guys are throwing it back and he keeps

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Speaker 1: throwing it back. It's like a game for him. So

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Speaker 1: if we keep kind of giving him essentially what he

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Speaker 1: wants by giving him the lovey, he has to learn

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Speaker 1: that there's consequences to his actions and when he throws

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Speaker 1: it out, if we keep giving it back, well why

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Speaker 1: would he Why would he stop or why would he

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Speaker 1: not stop doing what he's doing. So it's important. I

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Speaker 1: know it's hard, but it's important for him to understand

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Speaker 1: that if he throws it out, he throws it out,

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Speaker 1: he doesn't get it for the rest of the nap

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Speaker 1: or the rest of the night. And yes, it's it's

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Speaker 1: what I said to Yes, it's gonna be harder on

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Speaker 1: you than it is on him. And I know that's

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Speaker 1: hard to see when you're in it, but that is

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Speaker 1: the case. How does that feel, honey, Um, I'm just

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Speaker 1: I just feel like a bad mom. Like even like

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Speaker 1: last night and I was reading messages and it's like

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Speaker 1: going and hug your baby and I'm like, oh my God,

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Speaker 1: I'm the worst mom ever for like not going in

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Speaker 1: and like letting him cry it out, and like I

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Speaker 1: don't know if it has something to do with like

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Speaker 1: that he was in my body and I helped create him,

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Speaker 1: but it's like he's like my person and he's like

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Speaker 1: bawling and screaming our names, and I'm like I want

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Speaker 1: to like go hold him and like rock him to sleep,

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Speaker 1: but I know that, like you know, and and do

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Speaker 1: the like come in and come out, but like I

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Speaker 1: know that's not gonna work for him. Like he he

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Speaker 1: was fine a week ago, and it was because we

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Speaker 1: cuddled him in the bed, you know, because he wouldn't

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Speaker 1: sleep his naps when we went up north, and like

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Speaker 1: so we made those little mistakes just because I didn't

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Speaker 1: think it would like totally screw him up. And now

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Speaker 1: I just feel like a terrible mom because I'm like

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Speaker 1: he's like yesterday when he was up at four where

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Speaker 1: am and didn't go to sleep, didn't take a nap,

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Speaker 1: I was swinging him on the swing and he was

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Speaker 1: falling asleep and like the dudes exhausted, and then like

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Speaker 1: he cried another two hours in the crib yesterday before

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Speaker 1: we fell asleep. And that's when I just had like

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Speaker 1: my breaking point where I'm just like, I feel awful

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Speaker 1: and I'm like I just need to like, yeah, go ahead, sorry, no,

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Speaker 1: it's listen and I get it. And I know you

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Speaker 1: feel awful, and I know you feel like an awful mom,

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Speaker 1: but you're not. I mean, we know this kid is

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Speaker 1: loved seven. He knows that he's loved seven, um, And

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Speaker 1: the most important part is that we know he's capable.

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Speaker 1: And that's what I try and explain to parents is,

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Speaker 1: you know, often when we hear the term self soothing,

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Speaker 1: I think we have to kind of almost forget that

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Speaker 1: term and instead we have to teach for kids that

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Speaker 1: they're capable of doing it, and not just teach them

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Speaker 1: so that they understand that they're capable, but also so

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Speaker 1: that they know that you guys think he's capable of

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Speaker 1: doing it. So listen. At the end of the day,

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Speaker 1: I will never tell a parent to not go in

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Speaker 1: a room and hold and cuttle their kid and sleep training.

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Speaker 1: This isn't certainly what we're doing with Jays because we've

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Speaker 1: been through the sleep training period. We know that he

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Speaker 1: has that skill in place. Is just we're just kind

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Speaker 1: of brushing off the cobwebs a little bit. Um. You

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Speaker 1: know the fact that that we know that he can

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Speaker 1: do it, we have to just keep allowing him to

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Speaker 1: practice it and also just keep showing him that you

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Speaker 1: guys know that he's getable of doing it and he

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Speaker 1: needs to see that. So if you're going in and

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Speaker 1: helping him do it, or you're going in and giving

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Speaker 1: him back the lovey, or or responding to him in

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Speaker 1: a way that he wants you to respond to him, yes,

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Speaker 1: he's happy because he's getting the response that he wants

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Speaker 1: and in a way also, it's also kind of showing

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Speaker 1: him that, um that he needs that you think he

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Speaker 1: needs his help, that you sorry, I'm saying this wrong,

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Speaker 1: that you think that he thinks that you need to

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Speaker 1: help him do it. But am I explaining this right?

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Speaker 1: I'm like all over the place, But you know what

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to say. Yeah, so listen, I know it's hard,

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Speaker 1: and I know you fee look an awful mom, but

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Speaker 1: you know you're not an awful mom, and you have

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Speaker 1: a supportive hobby which helps you know. It's an important

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Speaker 1: that you guys work as a team and that you

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Speaker 1: guys are insistent with however, you're responding to him, and

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Speaker 1: you've got to be especially when we're dealing with toddlers

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Speaker 1: and that's the stage that he's in. It's so important

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Speaker 1: to be consistent on the follow three because if we're

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Speaker 1: all over the place, he's going to be just as

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Speaker 1: confused in in what the expectations are. Alana, your mother

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Speaker 1: of three, did you when you were doing going through

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Speaker 1: all of this with your three kids, did you notice

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Speaker 1: much of a difference like kid by kid or is

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Speaker 1: kind of your belief system? Is it fairly universal across

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Speaker 1: the board? And I love that you that you asked

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Speaker 1: me that question. So I do have three kids. I

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Speaker 1: have two daughters and a son. My youngest are twins

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Speaker 1: boy girl twins UM and every kid is different. I'm

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Speaker 1: actually gonna do a post about this UM specific topic

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Speaker 1: on my Instagram and in a few days. But we

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Speaker 1: can't expect all of our kids to respond the same way.

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Speaker 1: So how did Julie responded to sleep training might not

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Speaker 1: be the same as Jay's. And I even said to

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Speaker 1: you when we were talking about the eighteen regression, I

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Speaker 1: almost didn't believe it because my two daughters never went

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Speaker 1: through it until my son UM and not to say

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Speaker 1: that more boys go through the eighteen month and girls,

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Speaker 1: because I don't have the data to prove that. Um,

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Speaker 1: But he went through the exact same thing at around

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Speaker 1: eighteen nineteen months. You know, just and my kids are

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Speaker 1: good sleepers. I always say, would be really weird if

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Speaker 1: I heard good sleepers given what I do. Um. But

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Speaker 1: you know, all of a sudden in this awesome sleeper,

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Speaker 1: just the same thing would start screaming, crying at three

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Speaker 1: or four o'clock in the morning, started knap strikes for

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Speaker 1: no other reason than what I believe to be behavioral.

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Speaker 1: So it was just putting a plan in place that

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Speaker 1: we are consistent with. So every child is different. Um,

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Speaker 1: the sleep plan you put together for each child may

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Speaker 1: be different. The most important thing and the only thing

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Speaker 1: that really is the same as the consistency and follow through.

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Speaker 1: Is it Is it different for like or do you

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Speaker 1: think like? Okay? So if someone else were to say no,

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Speaker 1: you should go in at the five mark, the fifteen mark,

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Speaker 1: the thirty mark, and then in an hour take him

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Speaker 1: out like is that is it? Does certain sleep training

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Speaker 1: methods work for different kids? Absolutely? Yes, um, And that's

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Speaker 1: what we do at GOOD I mean mostly at night, UM,

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Speaker 1: when we're talking about like an interval check or a

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Speaker 1: more gradual check where the parents are in the room,

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Speaker 1: or a more direct approach where we're talking about extinction. UM.

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Speaker 1: It really depends on the personality and the temperament of

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Speaker 1: the child when we're dealing with the situation like we

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Speaker 1: are with Jas though, the fact that we know that

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Speaker 1: he can do it because he has been doing it,

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Speaker 1: it's not necessarily what method do we choose now. We

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Speaker 1: just have to kind of allow him to get back

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Speaker 1: on track, which means you guys have to get back

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Speaker 1: on track. So it's a little bit of a different

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Speaker 1: situation than if we were starting fresh um and doing

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Speaker 1: you know, complete sleep training. But absolutely the method that

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Speaker 1: anyone who's listening, if you're thinking of choosing a method

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Speaker 1: of sleep training, you have to think what method would

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Speaker 1: work best for your child. But at the end of

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Speaker 1: the day, you also have to choose the method that

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Speaker 1: works best for you as a parent and you as

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Speaker 1: the team, because you have to be comfortable with whatever

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Speaker 1: method you're using, or else you're not going to be

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Speaker 1: consistent with it and then you're not going to be successful.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I want the every kid sleep in my

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Speaker 1: bed method, but Michael won't let me down on that.

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Speaker 1: Early on, Sarah, would you would you let the baby

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Speaker 1: sleep in the room or would you and Ty be

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Speaker 1: like no in our room or like when they cry

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Speaker 1: like okay, so like a lot of um like my

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Speaker 1: friend Kristen like the babies sleep in their bed. I mean,

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Speaker 1: from what I've seen with my older sisters, no, I

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Speaker 1: don't want them sleeping in my bed. But I'm a sleeper,

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Speaker 1: so this is something Ty and I are going to

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Speaker 1: have to adjust to because we can both sleep through anything,

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Speaker 1: and we can sleep for a long time. So like

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Speaker 1: we're going to have to adjust big time. He's gonna

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Speaker 1: want them in the bed. I just and and I

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Speaker 1: know it's like the worst thing to do, right well,

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Speaker 1: I mean, here's the thing, as as a sleep professional,

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Speaker 1: any choice that a parent makes is the choice that

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Speaker 1: the parent makes. So I don't want say you know

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Speaker 1: it's wrong or it's a bad even I know you

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Speaker 1: had said you know what we did on vacation, I

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Speaker 1: did bad things. I don't want anyone to take that away.

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Speaker 1: But you have to do what works for you. But

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Speaker 1: as a sleep professional, I can't talk about and I

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Speaker 1: know You've had this conversation a few times, is I

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Speaker 1: can't talk about I always have talked about safe sleep,

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Speaker 1: so you know, I have to make sure that the

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Speaker 1: baby or the child is sleeping in the safest environment.

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Speaker 1: So when we're talking about, you know, room sharing versus

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Speaker 1: bed sharing, I'm always always UM talking more about room sharing.

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Speaker 1: So baby can sleep in your room, UM, in their

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Speaker 1: own separate, safe environment, UM. But still room sharing. You

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Speaker 1: can do that until whenever you want to do that, UM.

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Speaker 1: But when we're talking about getting baby into bed with you,

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Speaker 1: that's when things can potentially become unsafe. I think where

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Speaker 1: I'm really upset is when when we were in Michigan

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Speaker 1: and the RV, he was scared, like because we weren't

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Speaker 1: there and it was something different in out of sorts,

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Speaker 1: and so that's I now I feel like he's scared again.

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Speaker 1: Is that like, do they even know what's scared is

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Speaker 1: at that age? Yeah? Absolutely. I mean at the age

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Speaker 1: that he's at, he he understands things that make him

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Speaker 1: feel uncomfortable or things that per perhaps um, promote fear UM.

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Speaker 1: But I think because he's in his normal safe environment,

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Speaker 1: he knows that you guys are there. It's not to

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Speaker 1: say that he doesn't have any fears, and you can

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Speaker 1: address those fears. I mean if you feel like it's

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Speaker 1: something that he's you know, if you feel that your

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Speaker 1: child has a nightmare or is perhaps feeling scared, you

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Speaker 1: can absolutely comfort that child in that situation. But if

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Speaker 1: you see where it's happening every single night, um, and

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Speaker 1: it's going on weeks on end, then we have to

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Speaker 1: look at Okay, what else is going on? Um? Is it? Now?

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Speaker 1: Are we dealing with a behavioral aspect to it as well?

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Speaker 1: Where he's understanding that, Um, you know what he the

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Speaker 1: actions that he does, uh, provides a reaction from you guys,

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Speaker 1: and the reaction that he wants is that you guys

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Speaker 1: come in his room and hang a little bit. How

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Speaker 1: long is this gonna last for? Because I don't know

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Speaker 1: if I can handle this anxiety? I know, and I

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Speaker 1: wish I had an answer. Unfortunately, every kid is different,

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Speaker 1: like I was, you know staying before. Every child is different. Um,

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Speaker 1: it could take Like I said, it's not an overnight thing.

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Speaker 1: It could take a week. It could take a little

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Speaker 1: bit longer, but it's gonna take longer if there's a

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Speaker 1: lot of back and forth and how you guys are

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Speaker 1: responding to us. Well, I definitely agree with what you're

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Speaker 1: saying earlier, where it's really ultimately more difficult on us

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Speaker 1: than it is for him. Yeah, And I was just

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Speaker 1: telling some friends of ours we saw the other day

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Speaker 1: they are about to have a baby. I'm like, once

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Speaker 1: they the whole sleeping is like the game changer, you know.

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Speaker 1: Jane and I've been fortunate where I've been following Jane's

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Speaker 1: lead with both our kids, and Jane has been a

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Speaker 1: heck of a sleep trainer and I just kind of

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Speaker 1: fallen along and I just fall in line with Janna

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Speaker 1: where we've been on the same page with that. But

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Speaker 1: it's because we've we've been so spoiled with Jay's being

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Speaker 1: such a good sleeper and such a good nappers, Like

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Speaker 1: as soon as he's not, it feels like the worst

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Speaker 1: thing ever. And also with with Jolie, we were traveling

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Speaker 1: all over the country constantly, so Jolie would sleep on

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Speaker 1: busses and packing plays and hotels and she was just

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Speaker 1: used to that. I mean, we had her on a

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Speaker 1: bus at how many months six weeks, right, yeah, how

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Speaker 1: many weeks? So you know, now it's like anytime we

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Speaker 1: travel with Jay's it throws a wrench in it because

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Speaker 1: he's just not used to it. So it's just there's

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Speaker 1: different lifestyle changes too that we've had to you know,

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Speaker 1: become accustomed to. And it's just like once they stopped

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Speaker 1: sleeping a little bit, just it really messes us up. Well.

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Speaker 1: And when we were having the conversation too, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: you know, remember how at the very beginning, like he

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Speaker 1: wasn't a napper like he was, he always fought that

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Speaker 1: first nap. Yeah, and so remember that. It's like, well,

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Speaker 1: I God, I don't want to stop a nap, but like,

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Speaker 1: does he really need this nap? He does? Yes, and

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Speaker 1: I And that's what I don't want you taking away

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Speaker 1: from this is that, you know, Okay, he could be

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Speaker 1: done for nats, he's still little to drop that nap entirely.

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Speaker 1: And I with I'm gonna say ninety nine point nine

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Speaker 1: percent confidence because I never say a hundred percent confidence.

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Speaker 1: What we're seeing now is not because he doesn't need

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Speaker 1: to sleep. I mean, I saw that video yesterday, but

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Speaker 1: you guys posted and those retired little eyes on that

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Speaker 1: little guy, so um, he's so cute. So you know,

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Speaker 1: a lot of what we're seeing with naptime yesterday, and

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Speaker 1: I think even going into bedtime because he didn't have

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Speaker 1: that nap, a lot of it was overtired nous. But

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Speaker 1: you know, just like when he was little, when we

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Speaker 1: first started working together, I always say, it's almost like

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Speaker 1: we have to push them into an overtired state to

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Speaker 1: get them out of that overtired state, because it's really

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Speaker 1: important to be consistent with what time we're putting it

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Speaker 1: down at, with how we're handling those short wakings or

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Speaker 1: those short naps, how we're handling that those bedtime battles,

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Speaker 1: and he will pull out of this. He was pulling

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Speaker 1: those three hour naps before this, you know, like he

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Speaker 1: still needs to sleep. It's it's it would it would

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Speaker 1: do more harm than good to to cut his naps

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Speaker 1: at this point. Okay, well, I'm going to text you

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Speaker 1: later because I need to see what time since I

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Speaker 1: know he's not gonna natas he's reaching for his wabby

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Speaker 1: like he looks like he's in just get it closer. Um,

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Speaker 1: I mean, he'll he'll understand that by doing that, you know,

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Speaker 1: he's not going to be getting his webby. And then

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Speaker 1: we'll talk about his little webby and well maybe we're

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Speaker 1: going to get rid of that. I'm not ready. All right,

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Speaker 1: Well i'll text you later because I'm I need to

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Speaker 1: see about nighttime. What time I've to put them down?

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Speaker 1: So thank you so much, everybody. Okay, plug yourself right now. Girlfriend. Uh,

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Speaker 1: thanks for having me on. You guys can go to

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Speaker 1: good Night Sleep site dot com. You can follow me

403
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Speaker 1: on Instagram, g N Sleep site, and I also have

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Speaker 1: my podcast where I talk obviously all about sleep and

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Speaker 1: it's called This Girl Loves Sleep. Love you, Thank you

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00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:54,960
Speaker 1: so much, love me too, Thanks guys for having me on.

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Speaker 1: All right, Bye, Sarah, are you just like overwhelmed? You

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Speaker 1: get all that? I just like don't understand and I

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Speaker 1: hate saying that, but I'm like that gives me anxiety.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I don't know if you were crying because

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Speaker 1: you felt bad for him, but I think I would

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Speaker 1: be crying because I'm tired. It was a mixture of both.

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Speaker 1: Was yesterday she was crying because she was just tired,

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Speaker 1: but because I felt when I'm tired, yeah, I will

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Speaker 1: cry if I'm tired. That just seems like a lot.

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Speaker 1: I mean, look at him, he's he's no joke. Well

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Speaker 1: he's not anymore. But he's always standing up still screaming.

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Speaker 1: He's trying to get just like I and I know

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Speaker 1: there's probably moms on here, just like there are moms

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Speaker 1: on the Instagram sayingly just go in and cuddle him,

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Speaker 1: but I don't know how much reverse whatever. So that's

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Speaker 1: in my opinion, Well it can be so because for example,

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Speaker 1: when we were up north, Mike started, um, soothing him

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Speaker 1: because he was only sleeping thirty minutes because he's out

425
00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:05,119
Speaker 1: of his element and whatever. So Mike started rubbing his

426
00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:07,600
Speaker 1: butt to sleep. So then he got used to us

427
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:11,280
Speaker 1: rubbing his butt to sleep. We're putting him to sleep,

428
00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:14,040
Speaker 1: and we've never done that before. He'd always just go

429
00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:17,600
Speaker 1: in the crib and fall asleep by himself. How do

430
00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:24,760
Speaker 1: you just not like sleep, close your eyes and go

431
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:28,199
Speaker 1: to sleep. Poor poor you too, poor all of you.

432
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:32,000
Speaker 1: So it's just but we have another sleep consultant that's

433
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:36,159
Speaker 1: going to come on later this episode who's different, um

434
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:39,480
Speaker 1: than Alana who's been helping us with Jayce. So it's

435
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:43,280
Speaker 1: you know, because every kid is different, so um, it's

436
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:45,120
Speaker 1: going to be interesting. And then by the end of it, Mike,

437
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:48,160
Speaker 1: we need to decide which one we're doing that sound good?

438
00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:51,920
Speaker 1: All right? All right, before we get our next next

439
00:21:52,000 --> 00:22:08,199
Speaker 1: guests on, let's take a break, all right, So to

440
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:13,200
Speaker 1: continue on the saga of jays Um, everyone was dm

441
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:15,800
Speaker 1: ng me like crazy, you have to ask taking care

442
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:17,600
Speaker 1: of babies. You have to talk to her d m

443
00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:20,439
Speaker 1: R D m her. So last I d m her

444
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:23,159
Speaker 1: and then I spoke to one of her consultants and

445
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:26,000
Speaker 1: I was so overtired yesterday and I was bawling my

446
00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:27,760
Speaker 1: eyes out. I don't think the call went too good.

447
00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:30,199
Speaker 1: But now we have the one and only on the

448
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:34,280
Speaker 1: line with us right now. Hey girl, Hi, I'm Carat's

449
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:38,359
Speaker 1: so nice to meet you. Guys, n I'm Janna. This

450
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:41,640
Speaker 1: is my husband Michael, and then Sarah, who's our our

451
00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:48,560
Speaker 1: resident guest on here. Girlfriend, I know, and talk to

452
00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:51,760
Speaker 1: my wife off the lead. It's gonna be okay, honey,

453
00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:57,560
Speaker 1: you and I today, I'm gonna help you. Okay, I'm

454
00:22:57,560 --> 00:23:00,520
Speaker 1: gonna help you. This is hard, but I want you

455
00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:03,040
Speaker 1: to know there's light at the end of this tunnel. Okay.

456
00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:06,240
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you lots of guidance, and when you

457
00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:09,480
Speaker 1: and I are done today, you're going to feel like, Okay,

458
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:14,000
Speaker 1: I got this ready. Yeah, Because yesterday. I mean, I

459
00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:15,560
Speaker 1: loved her and she was amazing, but I was like,

460
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:17,280
Speaker 1: I don't got it, and I just kept crying and

461
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:19,119
Speaker 1: I was just like, I'm so sorry. I'm just I

462
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:23,080
Speaker 1: was like, I think I'm just really tired. When you're

463
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:25,280
Speaker 1: losted and at the end of your row, it's like

464
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:28,960
Speaker 1: I have nowhere to turn, right. I think the hard

465
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:31,280
Speaker 1: part is too because you know, I've really studied your

466
00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:32,960
Speaker 1: page and I've looked at it and you know how

467
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:36,920
Speaker 1: you train your you know, sleep train your babies, and um,

468
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:38,600
Speaker 1: I think the hard part for me and what I

469
00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:41,520
Speaker 1: kind of um not butted heads on, but I had

470
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:44,360
Speaker 1: a hard time with it is like to re sleep train.

471
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:46,439
Speaker 1: I'm like, but he's already sleep trained, Like this is

472
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:49,439
Speaker 1: he just formed like a new habit that like we

473
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:51,720
Speaker 1: have to break. So I'm like, and so I think

474
00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:53,080
Speaker 1: I had that was like what was hard for me

475
00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:54,800
Speaker 1: because I'm like, wait now i feel like I'm going backwards.

476
00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:56,479
Speaker 1: Oh god, now I'm having a panic attack. And I

477
00:23:56,520 --> 00:24:00,280
Speaker 1: just was like it was so much, So let's let's

478
00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:04,440
Speaker 1: talk through that. Chase is a good sleeper, right, you

479
00:24:05,119 --> 00:24:08,159
Speaker 1: have created a great little sleeper, so that foundation is

480
00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:10,920
Speaker 1: there he can put himself to sleep. He can cycle

481
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:15,080
Speaker 1: through sleep cycles. That's huge, right, that foundation that he

482
00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:19,520
Speaker 1: has huge. I know you're thinking right now it doesn't

483
00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:22,800
Speaker 1: feel like that foundation is there, but it's still in there. Okay, Now,

484
00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:24,680
Speaker 1: what was the first thing when you DM me before

485
00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:27,200
Speaker 1: I gave you any advice? What was the first thing

486
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:31,080
Speaker 1: I said to do? Do you remember drink a glass

487
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:36,480
Speaker 1: of wine? I don't remember. When a good little sleeper

488
00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:40,280
Speaker 1: suddenly isn't, my brain now, keep in mind I'm a nurse,

489
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:46,120
Speaker 1: my brain immediately goes to is there a physical problem? Infection? Yeah,

490
00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:50,160
Speaker 1: So anytime we have a good little sleeper who suddenly isn't,

491
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:53,760
Speaker 1: I want to say, Okay, let's rule out an ear infection,

492
00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:56,480
Speaker 1: let's rule out pain. And so yesterday you took him in, right,

493
00:24:57,320 --> 00:25:02,120
Speaker 1: how did doctor look? He's healthy, completely fine. Okay, that's

494
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:06,320
Speaker 1: that's good. Okay, so nothing's hurting him. That's good to know. Seething,

495
00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:08,840
Speaker 1: let's talk about that. Lots of parents think, oh, well,

496
00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:10,800
Speaker 1: teething like this is going to disrupt sleep for the

497
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:14,119
Speaker 1: next six months. Right, let's talk about that. What have

498
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:16,359
Speaker 1: you do? You do you see any teeth or do

499
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:20,200
Speaker 1: he's got moeller? So all four molars are like super

500
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:24,119
Speaker 1: engorged in large and the top his top left was

501
00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:26,280
Speaker 1: the top left or top right is I can feel

502
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:31,479
Speaker 1: the like a little uh hard rough part of it. Yeah, okay, okay,

503
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:36,639
Speaker 1: so moellers can be they can hurt, right. Um Typically

504
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:41,080
Speaker 1: when teeth breakthrough, twenty four to seventy two hours of discomfort.

505
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:44,119
Speaker 1: Most of the time for good little sleepers, it doesn't

506
00:25:44,119 --> 00:25:46,560
Speaker 1: disrupt their sleep. It does for some, it does for some.

507
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:50,040
Speaker 1: We want to account for that, Like, have you been

508
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:54,720
Speaker 1: giving them tailen al motron Yeah, every it's every three hours, right, well,

509
00:25:55,119 --> 00:26:01,000
Speaker 1: motrin or ibprofen is every six every but but can

510
00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:03,719
Speaker 1: you go like ibyprofen three then three the mo thailand,

511
00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:08,760
Speaker 1: All okay, you're still it's still six between. Oh my god,

512
00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:15,200
Speaker 1: I don't no, don't blame yourself there. We've been doing that, right, yes, right,

513
00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:18,560
Speaker 1: we've been doing that. Yeah, okay, so really quickly. This

514
00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:21,040
Speaker 1: isn't medical advice, but this is like just a token

515
00:26:21,119 --> 00:26:26,640
Speaker 1: of information for you. Motron ibprofen that is um an

516
00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:30,360
Speaker 1: anti inflammatory, and so the pain of tving comes from inflammation.

517
00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:33,000
Speaker 1: So I'm a big fan of motrin. I'd be proken

518
00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:35,440
Speaker 1: babies can't have it. Until they're six months old. Jason's

519
00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:38,320
Speaker 1: over that, so he can definitely have it, but give

520
00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:41,720
Speaker 1: it before bedtime, and then if you want six hours later,

521
00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:43,480
Speaker 1: you can sneak in there. Let's say you give it

522
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:46,720
Speaker 1: a seven ish or six thirty before bed, sneaking there

523
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:50,600
Speaker 1: around one one, six hours later, pick him up, give

524
00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:52,719
Speaker 1: it to him laying back down. I know that sounds scary,

525
00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:55,520
Speaker 1: but that keeps the inflammation. So if you're seeing a

526
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:57,480
Speaker 1: wake up, let's say it three or four or five

527
00:26:57,520 --> 00:26:59,639
Speaker 1: in the morning, and you're like, oh my gosh, I

528
00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:04,600
Speaker 1: think it's teething, well that medication has already begun working. Obviously,

529
00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:06,760
Speaker 1: follow the advice of your doctor all of that, but

530
00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:09,200
Speaker 1: we just want to rule out. Okay, is it pain.

531
00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:12,240
Speaker 1: I don't think that's what this is for Jason. Can

532
00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:15,399
Speaker 1: I tell you what I think it is? Go for it, Okay.

533
00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:22,680
Speaker 1: Any time little ones have big developmental strides, crawling, walking,

534
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:25,840
Speaker 1: those sort of things that sleep can be impacted. Now,

535
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:29,719
Speaker 1: it can also be mental things, mental strides that are

536
00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:33,840
Speaker 1: taking place in your baby's brain. What's happening inside his

537
00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:37,160
Speaker 1: brain right now, well, sometime between the fourteen month mark

538
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:39,879
Speaker 1: and the twenty month mark is what we call the

539
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:44,240
Speaker 1: eighteen months sleep progression. Why is that the regression, Because

540
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:48,439
Speaker 1: it's a huge developmental progression. That means he is learning

541
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:52,160
Speaker 1: something huge. You know what he's learning right now, there's

542
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:56,200
Speaker 1: a Mommy doesn't come get him and throw out of

543
00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:59,280
Speaker 1: the car. We're going to talk about that too. He's

544
00:27:59,359 --> 00:28:03,399
Speaker 1: learning I make a difference in the world. I impact others.

545
00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:07,400
Speaker 1: What I do, what I say, My actions influence others.

546
00:28:08,119 --> 00:28:10,160
Speaker 1: That's a pretty good lesson to learn in life, right,

547
00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:14,200
Speaker 1: But you've you've probably seen it, Mike, he throws a ball,

548
00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:17,080
Speaker 1: you throw it back, Daddy get happy. I'm going to

549
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:19,200
Speaker 1: keep throwing the ball to Daddy because he gets happy.

550
00:28:19,359 --> 00:28:23,080
Speaker 1: I saw in your stories, Gamma, he has cute little

551
00:28:23,119 --> 00:28:27,000
Speaker 1: face on your phone and he say Hi, Hi, What

552
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:30,080
Speaker 1: did mommy do? Mommy's face lit up like he's like, Oh,

553
00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:33,119
Speaker 1: when I said hi in that really cute voice, I

554
00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:38,560
Speaker 1: make my mommy is so happy. Right, So he's learning

555
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:43,720
Speaker 1: what I do influences you huge. Now in the same way,

556
00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:48,880
Speaker 1: they can use it differently. For example, here here's what

557
00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:51,280
Speaker 1: you're seeing. Okay, you go to the grocery store. I

558
00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:53,960
Speaker 1: want that lollipop. Mommy said, no, I want the lollipop. No,

559
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:56,520
Speaker 1: Mommy said, no, I want the lollipop. Mommy said no. Okay,

560
00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:58,560
Speaker 1: Well I'm gonna throw my body down on the ground

561
00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:03,560
Speaker 1: through a huge fit. Oh, she gave me the lollipop. Perfect.

562
00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:05,800
Speaker 1: Every time I'm in the grocery store, if I want

563
00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:08,760
Speaker 1: a lollipop, I just throw myself on the ground. I

564
00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:12,080
Speaker 1: get a lollipo. I got this figured out. I know

565
00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:14,840
Speaker 1: how to influence mom to get the lollipop at the

566
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:21,320
Speaker 1: grocery store. It's simple, right, So they this comes into

567
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:25,040
Speaker 1: play with sleep. Okay, if I throw a huge fit

568
00:29:25,200 --> 00:29:28,760
Speaker 1: the entire nap time, guess what, I don't have to sleep.

569
00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:32,320
Speaker 1: Look at me, I'm pretty good. I threw a huge fit.

570
00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:35,959
Speaker 1: I don't have to sleep. Right, And guess what, Janna,

571
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:40,160
Speaker 1: I need you to hear this. You can't force him

572
00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:43,640
Speaker 1: to sleep. It's not awful, Like, don't you feel out

573
00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:46,800
Speaker 1: of control? Like I know he's tired, Like I know

574
00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:51,720
Speaker 1: if I grabbed him, he would fall asleep right in right,

575
00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:54,720
Speaker 1: And you know what you can do that? You can

576
00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:56,640
Speaker 1: do that. You can just sit and rock him and

577
00:29:56,680 --> 00:30:00,560
Speaker 1: hold him. But the things that you're doing now you

578
00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:02,959
Speaker 1: have to be prepared, okay for the next six months,

579
00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:05,840
Speaker 1: for every nap, every bedtime, in the middle of the

580
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:08,240
Speaker 1: night when he wakes up from I prepared to do that,

581
00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:15,960
Speaker 1: and if the answers yes, go to it. Mike. I yeah,

582
00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:18,560
Speaker 1: we can't do that. We can't do that. We did

583
00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:20,440
Speaker 1: it for a week and it was exhausting in Michigan,

584
00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:23,640
Speaker 1: which is then which caused the terrible thing. Yeah, hey,

585
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:25,360
Speaker 1: so do you see let's talk about that. So you

586
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:31,600
Speaker 1: went on vacation. What did he realize? He realized, Oh, oh, okay,

587
00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:36,160
Speaker 1: so sleep in my crib. Okay, so there's actually other options.

588
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:39,480
Speaker 1: I could sleep on mom. I don't have to say.

589
00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:41,320
Speaker 1: I could take a short nap and then get up.

590
00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:45,400
Speaker 1: I can just he cool. These are really great options.

591
00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:48,400
Speaker 1: If I get a pick, I'm not picking the crib.

592
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:55,480
Speaker 1: I pick you, right, okay, not no fault, no fault.

593
00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:59,360
Speaker 1: It's just what he learned. And so now, and let

594
00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:03,240
Speaker 1: me tell you, I believe in vacations, and I believe

595
00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:06,280
Speaker 1: that there's ever a time to ever again, Karen. Never,

596
00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:10,880
Speaker 1: I'm never taking a child on vacation. By the time

597
00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:13,800
Speaker 1: you and I are done, I'm talk you in in

598
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:16,240
Speaker 1: two months to go in on another vacation. Not having

599
00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:20,520
Speaker 1: like Okay, I know how to fix it. I know

600
00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:23,920
Speaker 1: how to fix it now. But so he just learned

601
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:26,680
Speaker 1: there's other options. So now that you're home, we have

602
00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:29,880
Speaker 1: to go back and say, okay, Jay's we were on vacation,

603
00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:34,640
Speaker 1: you saw some other options. Guess what. At home, there's

604
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:38,440
Speaker 1: no other option. The only option is when it's naptime,

605
00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:42,960
Speaker 1: you have to sleep. When it's bedtime, you have to sleep. Okay.

606
00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:52,240
Speaker 1: Consistency is your best friend through aggression. See Okay, Um,

607
00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:55,480
Speaker 1: let's talk about like some things like let's I said

608
00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:58,400
Speaker 1: you can't control his sleep, right, you aren't in control,

609
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:02,280
Speaker 1: but you can say him up for success. So let's

610
00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:05,200
Speaker 1: talk about like how do we do that? Um. Number one,

611
00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:07,560
Speaker 1: we want to make sure that sleep pressure is built

612
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:09,880
Speaker 1: up in his little body, so like he's ready for

613
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:12,480
Speaker 1: a nap. You said, I know he's tired. Okay, that's

614
00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:16,760
Speaker 1: perfect at this age, like a nineteen month old, we

615
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:19,560
Speaker 1: want from the time for morning time to that first

616
00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:22,240
Speaker 1: nap to be about five and a half to six hours.

617
00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:27,800
Speaker 1: So so normally let's say you wakes up for six thirty. Yeah,

618
00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:30,360
Speaker 1: like eleven thirty twelve, I like, really a twelve to

619
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:33,920
Speaker 1: twelve thirty nap time? For this age, if it's a

620
00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:35,920
Speaker 1: little bit earlier because he was waking up a little

621
00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:38,880
Speaker 1: bit earlier. Maybe eleven thirty. Is that about what you're doing. Yeah,

622
00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:43,440
Speaker 1: we donks up around like six thirty. Okay, so that

623
00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:48,000
Speaker 1: that would work all right? Um, and before eleven thirty,

624
00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:53,080
Speaker 1: nap was working great for you. Yeah, I was working amazing. Okay,

625
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:56,880
Speaker 1: we're gonna get him back there. So eleven thirty twelve, wish,

626
00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:59,200
Speaker 1: that's a good nap time. Then when he would not

627
00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:02,160
Speaker 1: how long would you normally? Not for two and a

628
00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:08,080
Speaker 1: half to three hours, So great napper. So then we

629
00:33:08,120 --> 00:33:12,800
Speaker 1: want abow four and a half to five hours until

630
00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:19,880
Speaker 1: bedtime six when we put them down. Okay, So you've

631
00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:23,160
Speaker 1: set up this kind of you know, it can be

632
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:26,120
Speaker 1: a flexible schedule, but kind of we build up the

633
00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:28,160
Speaker 1: sleep pressure so that when it's time for him to

634
00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:30,800
Speaker 1: go to sleep, his sleep tank is full and he's

635
00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:33,160
Speaker 1: ready to take a nap. Right. So timing is great.

636
00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:36,800
Speaker 1: You've done a good job. Let's talk about environment. Is

637
00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:39,360
Speaker 1: it dark in there? It is dark, and I know

638
00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:42,600
Speaker 1: you're it's like to not see I saw your hand

639
00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:46,320
Speaker 1: thing on your Instagram and it is is very dark.

640
00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:49,960
Speaker 1: Is it is it pitch black. No, but you know

641
00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:52,240
Speaker 1: it's something where I'm like, well, he already has slept

642
00:33:52,240 --> 00:33:55,480
Speaker 1: in that before, so but again I don't know. And

643
00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:57,200
Speaker 1: then I started to think, well, gosh, if he can't

644
00:33:57,240 --> 00:33:59,560
Speaker 1: sleep in this, how am I going to go? Because

645
00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:01,200
Speaker 1: I want crete. Is the psycho trying to cover his

646
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:03,880
Speaker 1: windows whenever we go anywhere, you know, because it has

647
00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:06,680
Speaker 1: to be pitch dark. But I'm like, it's it's dark.

648
00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:11,200
Speaker 1: I feel like it's dark enough, but I don't know. Okay,

649
00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:14,759
Speaker 1: so I think we get in our brains like, well,

650
00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:17,000
Speaker 1: if I make it dark, then he'll always forever have

651
00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:19,000
Speaker 1: to sleep in a really dark cave and they'll never

652
00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:22,200
Speaker 1: learn to sleep in the light, right with anyone? Okay,

653
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:25,439
Speaker 1: we can work on that later, but right now, when

654
00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:28,560
Speaker 1: he's in this hard time, we want to pitch dark.

655
00:34:28,840 --> 00:34:33,120
Speaker 1: No night lights, no nightlights. Okay. At this age light

656
00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:38,400
Speaker 1: light is only stimulation for the brain, so we want

657
00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:40,680
Speaker 1: all night lights. And I know some parents are like,

658
00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:43,200
Speaker 1: but Carol, what what if he's scared at the dark.

659
00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:48,920
Speaker 1: Let me explain this to you. Imagination doesn't begin, like,

660
00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:53,040
Speaker 1: doesn't really kick in until twenty four months, so like

661
00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:55,600
Speaker 1: two to two and a half that's when he starts going,

662
00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:57,760
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I think there's dinosaurs in my closet.

663
00:34:58,080 --> 00:35:01,680
Speaker 1: Maybe there's a monster under my bed. He's not there yet,

664
00:35:01,760 --> 00:35:07,680
Speaker 1: So right now, dark isn't a fear. A light stimulates

665
00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:09,319
Speaker 1: that brain, so we want it dark in there. If

666
00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:12,040
Speaker 1: you've been using a night light, we want it dark

667
00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:18,800
Speaker 1: because that's when melotonain, the sleepy hormone, is released. So dark, dark, dark, Okay, okay, cool,

668
00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:22,600
Speaker 1: it's comfortable in there, right, all right, talk to me

669
00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:26,680
Speaker 1: about your naptime bedtime routine, like the ten to fifteen

670
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:31,799
Speaker 1: minutes before laying him down. What's happening bottle book, um,

671
00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:35,000
Speaker 1: real soft light on, Like we we have like a

672
00:35:35,120 --> 00:35:37,960
Speaker 1: great I feel like a great environment in there. Um,

673
00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:40,319
Speaker 1: it's just he will continue to throw his lobby and

674
00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:43,680
Speaker 1: we'll be out um when we put him in his crib.

675
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:48,520
Speaker 1: And that's when you know. I've heard people say do

676
00:35:48,760 --> 00:35:51,160
Speaker 1: not go in, no matter what because it's a game.

677
00:35:51,719 --> 00:35:53,960
Speaker 1: And then I've heard the go in every this time,

678
00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:56,400
Speaker 1: this time, this time, and I feel like when I

679
00:35:56,440 --> 00:36:00,839
Speaker 1: go in, he just screams louder. So that's the struggle. Okay,

680
00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:04,040
Speaker 1: So first off, before that, before bedtime, we want a nice,

681
00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:06,200
Speaker 1: like soothing little routine. Doesn't have to be long, ten

682
00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:08,480
Speaker 1: or fifteen minutes, just just like you and I before

683
00:36:08,480 --> 00:36:10,440
Speaker 1: we go to bed, we want to unwind a few minutes.

684
00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:13,600
Speaker 1: Give him your undivided attention for ten to fifteen minutes.

685
00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:16,560
Speaker 1: Now we put him in the crib. Right now, this

686
00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:20,520
Speaker 1: is when the fight begins. Here's what I'm gonna tell you.

687
00:36:20,960 --> 00:36:27,839
Speaker 1: What he's looking for is your reaction. How are you responding? Okay?

688
00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:30,080
Speaker 1: Now I'm going to tell you something. This is a

689
00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:34,880
Speaker 1: story totally applies to the situation. Lately, like the older

690
00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:38,600
Speaker 1: I've gotten, I'm more afraid to fly on an airplane. Logically,

691
00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:41,120
Speaker 1: I know that sounds so dumb, like you're safer in

692
00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:45,040
Speaker 1: an airplane cara than you are on on like in

693
00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:48,040
Speaker 1: a cart. Right, when I'm on an airplane, my third

694
00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:50,680
Speaker 1: to field bumps, I always look for the flight attendant.

695
00:36:50,719 --> 00:36:55,800
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, what's the flight attendant doing. If he's

696
00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:59,319
Speaker 1: still pouring ginger ale, if she's strapped into her little

697
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:02,360
Speaker 1: seat reading her People magazine, I'm like, Okay, I know

698
00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:04,640
Speaker 1: we're all right. Their job is to keep me safe.

699
00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:09,080
Speaker 1: I know he would stop pouring that ginger ale, right right,

700
00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:13,520
Speaker 1: I am looking for their reaction if they start panicking,

701
00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:15,960
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, this plane is going down. I know

702
00:37:16,280 --> 00:37:20,680
Speaker 1: right like I am scared. So you are that flight

703
00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:25,160
Speaker 1: attendant for Jason. You are telling him sleep is a

704
00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:29,200
Speaker 1: big deal, this is gonna be awful, naptime is horrible.

705
00:37:29,719 --> 00:37:33,000
Speaker 1: Or you're like, hey, buddy, it's naptime. You're gonna sleep.

706
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:35,359
Speaker 1: You're gonna have a great nap, and then you're gonna

707
00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:37,640
Speaker 1: wake up. We're gonna have good day. You are the

708
00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:41,080
Speaker 1: flight attendant for him. So here's what I'm gonna tell you.

709
00:37:41,480 --> 00:37:44,439
Speaker 1: No matter how you decide to do it, you have

710
00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:46,960
Speaker 1: to watch your reaction. So when you put him in

711
00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:49,400
Speaker 1: his crib, you're going to speak truth to him. You're

712
00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:53,120
Speaker 1: gonna say, Jay's, you're gonna take a grade nap. Mommy

713
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:56,120
Speaker 1: and Daddy, we're right outside these doors. When you wake up,

714
00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:59,680
Speaker 1: we're gonna have a great day. Speak truth to your boy.

715
00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:04,160
Speaker 1: He understands you, so tell him. We all do better

716
00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:07,360
Speaker 1: when we know our expectations. What's your expectation, Jason, I

717
00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:09,919
Speaker 1: expect you to take it right now. Ja's You're gonna

718
00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:11,440
Speaker 1: go down in your bed and you're gonna sleep till

719
00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:13,719
Speaker 1: morning and in the morning, we're gonna get up and

720
00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:15,840
Speaker 1: have breakfast. It's going to be a great day. Speak

721
00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:18,920
Speaker 1: truth to him. Okay, now let's talk about going in.

722
00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:21,480
Speaker 1: Let's talk about those levees. Let's talk about what we

723
00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:24,600
Speaker 1: can do to help them. Some people are like, do

724
00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:30,360
Speaker 1: not enter the room. Do not. Um, you don't have to.

725
00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:33,920
Speaker 1: But I'm going to tell you. When I start feeling

726
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:38,080
Speaker 1: turbulence on that airplane we're supplied to, I'm looking for him.

727
00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:41,000
Speaker 1: I'm looking for her, like somebody just tell me we're okay.

728
00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:43,279
Speaker 1: And if that flight attendant looks at me, because I'm

729
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:47,360
Speaker 1: usually the one like, oh my god, hold up that

730
00:38:47,520 --> 00:38:49,640
Speaker 1: girl on the plane. You just always want to sit

731
00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:52,360
Speaker 1: next to me. The flight attended at one time she

732
00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:55,000
Speaker 1: looked at me and she's like, we're okay, You're gonna

733
00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:58,520
Speaker 1: be fine. I'm like, oh, oh, this is normal. Yeah,

734
00:38:58,560 --> 00:39:00,759
Speaker 1: it's normal. Just press are in the in the in

735
00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:07,680
Speaker 1: the air Oh okay. So imagine Jay's is screaming. You

736
00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:11,520
Speaker 1: walk into his room and you say, Jason, mommy's here.

737
00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:14,839
Speaker 1: I love you. It's not time. I'll see you when

738
00:39:14,840 --> 00:39:17,319
Speaker 1: you wake up. Oh. By the way, I'm putting these

739
00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:20,360
Speaker 1: lovees in your crib now you're not going in because

740
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:23,080
Speaker 1: he threw the lovees out. You're going in just to

741
00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:27,319
Speaker 1: tell him the flight's not going down, everything's fine. But

742
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:30,479
Speaker 1: you have to check yourself before you walk in that room.

743
00:39:30,719 --> 00:39:35,000
Speaker 1: If you're like, oh my gosh, this is horrible telling

744
00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:37,920
Speaker 1: me we're going down, Like if she looked at me

745
00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:43,160
Speaker 1: and she's like, everything's fine, I promise now, right, So

746
00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:46,000
Speaker 1: before you walk in that room, you are calm, you

747
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:49,200
Speaker 1: you're collected, You are telling him it's not a big deal.

748
00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:53,000
Speaker 1: Just nap time. Here's your lovee, here's your passing. Good night.

749
00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:54,759
Speaker 1: I love you. I'll see you when you wake up,

750
00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:57,439
Speaker 1: and you can decide I'm just going to do it once.

751
00:39:57,800 --> 00:39:59,960
Speaker 1: You can decide I'm going to do it every thirty minute.

752
00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:02,400
Speaker 1: You can decide when you're going to do it. But

753
00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:05,160
Speaker 1: when you walk in that room, do not be fooled.

754
00:40:05,239 --> 00:40:07,960
Speaker 1: He can read you like a book. He knows you.

755
00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:12,520
Speaker 1: He's looking for your reaction. Do not give him a reaction.

756
00:40:13,840 --> 00:40:15,920
Speaker 1: At the end of naptime or in the morning when

757
00:40:15,920 --> 00:40:18,120
Speaker 1: you get him out of the crib, no matter how

758
00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:22,640
Speaker 1: it went, your reaction is good morning, Jason, it's so

759
00:40:22,680 --> 00:40:25,640
Speaker 1: good to see you. I am so proud of you.

760
00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:28,759
Speaker 1: You were in your crib the entire naptime. Do not

761
00:40:29,120 --> 00:40:33,000
Speaker 1: react to negatively whatsoever. Sleep is not a negative thing.

762
00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:35,600
Speaker 1: It's a positive thing. Your son knows how to fall

763
00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:39,279
Speaker 1: asleep independently. He knows how to connect sleep cycles. He's

764
00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:41,520
Speaker 1: a good sleeper. We just have to remind him. Oh

765
00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:47,120
Speaker 1: you're you're still a good sleeper. Okay, your reaction that

766
00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:51,320
Speaker 1: is good. It's as hard. I know, it's so hard.

767
00:40:51,719 --> 00:40:54,200
Speaker 1: So and you talk so many moms off the ledge.

768
00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:56,759
Speaker 1: Um you how long have you been doing? Is you

769
00:40:56,800 --> 00:40:59,040
Speaker 1: have quite a following on Instagram. You've got almost a

770
00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:02,600
Speaker 1: million followers. I mean people look to you and just

771
00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:08,440
Speaker 1: um you know, is do you ever get um, not hate,

772
00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:10,040
Speaker 1: but I mean do you ever say like that's that's

773
00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:13,040
Speaker 1: not how you should do it? Or because because every

774
00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:15,920
Speaker 1: baby is different, right, so how do you kind of

775
00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:21,560
Speaker 1: deal with that? So? Okay, So as a nurse, my

776
00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:24,800
Speaker 1: goal is to like understand infant development and say, okay,

777
00:41:24,840 --> 00:41:27,960
Speaker 1: this is where little ones are developmentally, this is how

778
00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:31,480
Speaker 1: we meet them developmentally. Um, it's all about like in

779
00:41:31,520 --> 00:41:33,560
Speaker 1: the beginning. So I have a newborn class. This is

780
00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:36,680
Speaker 1: for babies birth through twelve weeks, it's not sleep training.

781
00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:40,520
Speaker 1: You know, sleep training. Newborns were just laying a healthy foundation. Okay,

782
00:41:40,719 --> 00:41:44,239
Speaker 1: we're reading them where they are developmentally been around three

783
00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:46,640
Speaker 1: to four months. They go through this like three to

784
00:41:46,680 --> 00:41:49,440
Speaker 1: four month regression kind of like what you're facing eighteen months,

785
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:52,640
Speaker 1: but it's they're rocky developmental time. So I'm like, Okay,

786
00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:55,640
Speaker 1: they're still not ready for foremal sleep training, but here's

787
00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:57,960
Speaker 1: what you can do to kind of help them through

788
00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:02,279
Speaker 1: then by months and older. I have a class. It's

789
00:42:02,320 --> 00:42:04,560
Speaker 1: called the A, B C's of Sleep. It's a step

790
00:42:04,560 --> 00:42:07,560
Speaker 1: by step plan to help parents who are like, my

791
00:42:07,719 --> 00:42:10,800
Speaker 1: nights are horrible. I am not sleeping, this is awful.

792
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:13,080
Speaker 1: I need help with naps. I need help with nights.

793
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:16,600
Speaker 1: Maybe my baby's eating multiple times in the night. I

794
00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:20,080
Speaker 1: want to help. But here's the thing. It gives him

795
00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:22,520
Speaker 1: a step by step plan. And if a mom says

796
00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:24,640
Speaker 1: to me, carre up. My eight month old is up

797
00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:27,880
Speaker 1: fourteen times a night and I'm great with that. You

798
00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:32,120
Speaker 1: know what I say? Good, Okay. If that's working for you,

799
00:42:32,120 --> 00:42:34,319
Speaker 1: you're able to be the mom or the dad that

800
00:42:34,400 --> 00:42:36,759
Speaker 1: you want to be. You don't have you don't have

801
00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:39,480
Speaker 1: to do anything. If you ever want to change it.

802
00:42:39,719 --> 00:42:42,439
Speaker 1: I'm here, I have a plan. I have a plan,

803
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:45,400
Speaker 1: and in fourteen nights, we can get this little one

804
00:42:45,440 --> 00:42:48,080
Speaker 1: sleeping ten to twelve hours. I can help you teach

805
00:42:48,080 --> 00:42:50,560
Speaker 1: your baby to fall asleep and connect those sleep cycles.

806
00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:53,640
Speaker 1: And then the great thing is you have a plan

807
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:57,719
Speaker 1: for the next two years any time it gets disrupted,

808
00:42:57,719 --> 00:43:00,880
Speaker 1: because look at Jac's a great sleeper. That sleep gets

809
00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:05,840
Speaker 1: disrupted after illness or travel or regressions. Any time it

810
00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:08,080
Speaker 1: gets disrupted, then you have a plan to fall back on.

811
00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:11,120
Speaker 1: Anytime sleep is disrupted, you know what to do. So

812
00:43:11,239 --> 00:43:15,040
Speaker 1: you feel like, right now, Joanna, you're retraining him. You're not.

813
00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:19,640
Speaker 1: There's nothing that he doesn't have anything to learn, per se,

814
00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:22,480
Speaker 1: because he knows how to fall asleep independently. He knows

815
00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:29,919
Speaker 1: how to connect sleep cycles. What he's learning is, oh,

816
00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:32,760
Speaker 1: I used to have an option. That option on vacation

817
00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:35,960
Speaker 1: was to sleep. Was it your arms? Who's armed it? Mom?

818
00:43:36,040 --> 00:43:39,680
Speaker 1: Or dad? Uh? My arms? And then Dad would rub

819
00:43:39,719 --> 00:43:45,960
Speaker 1: his butt. Yeah, so here's the thing that's what he wants.

820
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:48,640
Speaker 1: He's like, no, no, I learned there was this other option,

821
00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:54,319
Speaker 1: and then he would look up every time to see

822
00:43:54,320 --> 00:43:58,080
Speaker 1: if he was still there, like there Okay, so there,

823
00:43:59,239 --> 00:44:02,160
Speaker 1: so what we need to do. He's still an independent sleeper.

824
00:44:02,239 --> 00:44:04,160
Speaker 1: We just need to show him he J's we're home now,

825
00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:07,160
Speaker 1: we're going to go for our consistent plan that you

826
00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:12,719
Speaker 1: know that does san that you can't rub this bottom

827
00:44:12,840 --> 00:44:15,120
Speaker 1: for a few minutes as you put him in the crib. Okay, Jason,

828
00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:16,440
Speaker 1: I'm here for you. I'm not going to do this

829
00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:18,320
Speaker 1: until you fall asleep. I'm going to your bottom for

830
00:44:18,360 --> 00:44:21,360
Speaker 1: a minute or two. Um, we just got to show

831
00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:23,680
Speaker 1: him that option is over. We're going to go back

832
00:44:23,719 --> 00:44:28,040
Speaker 1: to what we know consistency. Consistency. Consistency, Mike and Janet,

833
00:44:28,040 --> 00:44:30,680
Speaker 1: if you were consistent for the next ten to fourteen nights,

834
00:44:31,280 --> 00:44:33,840
Speaker 1: you're going to have your great sleeper back. Well, you

835
00:44:33,880 --> 00:44:36,040
Speaker 1: know what, I'm going to talk to you right after

836
00:44:36,080 --> 00:44:40,319
Speaker 1: this and in the next fourteen days. Okay, so we

837
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:43,719
Speaker 1: shall see. But UM, seriously, just thank you, UM, thank

838
00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:45,920
Speaker 1: you for having UM you know, the platform to help

839
00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:48,719
Speaker 1: other moms too, and dad's out there grandparents who was

840
00:44:48,760 --> 00:44:51,160
Speaker 1: ever on on your site that that needs you, So

841
00:44:51,760 --> 00:44:53,800
Speaker 1: make sure you guys go to taking care of babies

842
00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:57,440
Speaker 1: on Instagram. UM a lot of helpful UM tips that

843
00:44:57,480 --> 00:44:59,640
Speaker 1: I've already taken. So thank you, and I'm gonna d

844
00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:03,759
Speaker 1: M right after or email you whatever right after this. Okay,

845
00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:10,640
Speaker 1: thanks Kara. I appreciate it. I'm like, I'm a great mom,

846
00:45:12,920 --> 00:45:17,040
Speaker 1: better mom on the planet for that baby than you. Well,

847
00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:22,719
Speaker 1: thank you, Kara. So appreciate you taking the time. Thank you, Kara.

848
00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:25,919
Speaker 1: Al Right, So, which which one are we doing? Mike?

849
00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:32,640
Speaker 1: You know, historically I leaned towards what a Lanna kind

850
00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:38,799
Speaker 1: of preaches, but after Kara kind of explaining her methodology

851
00:45:38,880 --> 00:45:43,160
Speaker 1: behind it, I really understand. I love the analogy with

852
00:45:43,239 --> 00:45:45,440
Speaker 1: the flighter tenant thing, especially because like you're just like

853
00:45:45,480 --> 00:45:49,279
Speaker 1: her on a plane, and I can see how that

854
00:45:49,360 --> 00:45:53,440
Speaker 1: also would be effective. You know, I'm still leaning towards

855
00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:57,000
Speaker 1: the leaving b He's not gonna do anything to hurt himself.

856
00:45:57,960 --> 00:46:00,440
Speaker 1: You gave him back his webby. Did he fall asleep? Yeah?

857
00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:05,960
Speaker 1: Did he wake up though, I'm scared to look at it. No?

858
00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:10,880
Speaker 1: All right, well it's anyways, It's okay, let's take a break.

859
00:46:23,719 --> 00:46:27,839
Speaker 1: All right. So we're about to introduce Mega couple Real

860
00:46:27,880 --> 00:46:35,479
Speaker 1: Housewives of Sarah. I know, but New Jersey, UM get

861
00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:37,040
Speaker 1: you know what, Sarah, why don't you do the intro

862
00:46:38,040 --> 00:46:41,760
Speaker 1: ladies and gentlemen coming to you live. You have Joe

863
00:46:41,880 --> 00:46:47,399
Speaker 1: and Melissa Gorga of Real Housewives of New Jersey. That's good,

864
00:46:47,400 --> 00:46:51,960
Speaker 1: Like announcer voice, did you take away the monitor for

865
00:46:52,040 --> 00:46:55,319
Speaker 1: me for a reason? I just like to say that

866
00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:58,680
Speaker 1: Mike just took the monitor away from me, just trying

867
00:46:58,719 --> 00:47:02,319
Speaker 1: to help you be like, yeah, it's the only thing

868
00:47:02,360 --> 00:47:06,560
Speaker 1: you can think about. Though. Yeah, I'm sure he's he down.

869
00:47:07,239 --> 00:47:10,920
Speaker 1: He's laying down. God, that's huge. Waits, you know he's

870
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:14,520
Speaker 1: laying down. That's huge because I was like, okay, I

871
00:47:14,560 --> 00:47:16,480
Speaker 1: know he really wants his webby and had been an

872
00:47:16,480 --> 00:47:19,239
Speaker 1: hour of him crying, so he finally maybe like got it.

873
00:47:19,280 --> 00:47:23,000
Speaker 1: Like hey, so he doesn't even lay down, he's like

874
00:47:23,080 --> 00:47:26,120
Speaker 1: trying to crawl out, get his legs out. And Sarah,

875
00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:30,120
Speaker 1: he hopped over. I saw he climbed out of his crib,

876
00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:33,520
Speaker 1: walk downstairs, got out of his room, opened the door,

877
00:47:33,600 --> 00:47:36,400
Speaker 1: got out of his room, walked downstairs. You're not prepared

878
00:47:36,400 --> 00:47:42,600
Speaker 1: for that, Melissa, Hi, guys, how are you? Oh? Hey,

879
00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:48,160
Speaker 1: oh don't you guys look so fabulous? Y right, I'm Janna.

880
00:47:48,280 --> 00:47:50,840
Speaker 1: This is my husband Mike, and then Sarah is our

881
00:47:50,960 --> 00:47:56,799
Speaker 1: Real Housewives. Um, correspondent because she's just, um, yeah, so

882
00:47:56,840 --> 00:47:59,640
Speaker 1: how are you guys doing? Yeah, you guys are so cute.

883
00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:02,560
Speaker 1: Oh it's like we're looking in the mirror right back

884
00:48:02,560 --> 00:48:05,600
Speaker 1: at you guys. Thank you so much. I know. I

885
00:48:05,680 --> 00:48:07,680
Speaker 1: was just I've just been like crying because we're having

886
00:48:07,680 --> 00:48:10,719
Speaker 1: a problem with our our toddler, total sleep aggression and

887
00:48:10,760 --> 00:48:13,200
Speaker 1: it's just like killing the mom heart right now. So

888
00:48:13,239 --> 00:48:15,319
Speaker 1: I just had a good little cry session about five

889
00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:17,480
Speaker 1: minutes ago. How to take the monitor away from her,

890
00:48:17,520 --> 00:48:19,239
Speaker 1: Otherwise she'd sit here and be looking to the side

891
00:48:19,239 --> 00:48:22,480
Speaker 1: the whole time. So how old are your kids? Again?

892
00:48:24,120 --> 00:48:26,160
Speaker 1: I have a ten year old, at twelve year old

893
00:48:26,200 --> 00:48:33,799
Speaker 1: and a year old. We have a four year old

894
00:48:33,800 --> 00:48:38,399
Speaker 1: girl and in nineteen month old little boy, and that's

895
00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:42,280
Speaker 1: the one giving us problems right now. Really, my daughter

896
00:48:42,360 --> 00:48:44,840
Speaker 1: was so good until she turned eleven, and then she

897
00:48:44,920 --> 00:48:47,200
Speaker 1: turned into a demon. Like, Oh that's how that's how

898
00:48:47,239 --> 00:48:48,759
Speaker 1: our daughter is going to be. She is a chip

899
00:48:48,760 --> 00:48:50,960
Speaker 1: off the old block with mom here and those two

900
00:48:51,040 --> 00:48:54,880
Speaker 1: are gonna go at it for sure. You have no idea.

901
00:48:54,920 --> 00:48:56,840
Speaker 1: I never would have thought I was going to be

902
00:48:56,920 --> 00:48:58,759
Speaker 1: like that with her because she was my angel and

903
00:48:58,800 --> 00:49:01,040
Speaker 1: she was was in her hair all day and it

904
00:49:01,120 --> 00:49:03,600
Speaker 1: was like she just started to growl at me and

905
00:49:03,640 --> 00:49:07,480
Speaker 1: looked at me like I was. She's like, I'm like

906
00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:11,520
Speaker 1: are you good? Like your face? Okay? It was just

907
00:49:12,320 --> 00:49:15,520
Speaker 1: remember that time we were friends and like did things together. Wait,

908
00:49:15,600 --> 00:49:17,839
Speaker 1: so what do you do about it? Then we just

909
00:49:17,840 --> 00:49:22,480
Speaker 1: went at it out the debt I did. She's like, Joe,

910
00:49:22,480 --> 00:49:24,520
Speaker 1: you're gonna make her talk to me that way because

911
00:49:24,680 --> 00:49:27,960
Speaker 1: I literally just said to her like we're discussing what

912
00:49:28,080 --> 00:49:30,080
Speaker 1: time we're leaving the shore house and go home to

913
00:49:30,120 --> 00:49:32,080
Speaker 1: our other house because that she wants to see her friends.

914
00:49:32,080 --> 00:49:34,520
Speaker 1: And I'm like well, and she just snapped at me.

915
00:49:34,560 --> 00:49:39,319
Speaker 1: I was like, I'll throw you off the table. So

916
00:49:39,440 --> 00:49:44,560
Speaker 1: scared for kids, all these stories, but it is so fun.

917
00:49:44,640 --> 00:49:46,399
Speaker 1: Our daughter just told me to chill the other day

918
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:49,200
Speaker 1: and she's four, said, Dad, chill. I was like, I

919
00:49:49,239 --> 00:49:50,799
Speaker 1: just had to walk out of the room. And then

920
00:49:51,280 --> 00:49:54,600
Speaker 1: yesterday I picked up Jolly from her friend's house and

921
00:49:54,640 --> 00:49:59,520
Speaker 1: she goes, you broke my heart and I was like what, Like,

922
00:49:59,719 --> 00:50:01,960
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, honey, but I mean, like, what I

923
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:04,840
Speaker 1: ever do to you exactly? Wait? So what do you

924
00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:07,680
Speaker 1: do then? Like how is your discipline with your with

925
00:50:07,400 --> 00:50:10,239
Speaker 1: with your daughter when she talks like that. I mean,

926
00:50:10,360 --> 00:50:14,520
Speaker 1: I threatened. I'm like a threat. I won't go anywhere.

927
00:50:15,200 --> 00:50:18,800
Speaker 1: But she knows I'm all both because I never doing anything.

928
00:50:19,160 --> 00:50:20,880
Speaker 1: What did you do when there are babies? Because that's

929
00:50:20,920 --> 00:50:22,759
Speaker 1: my biggest thing. Did you let them cry it out?

930
00:50:22,840 --> 00:50:26,319
Speaker 1: Or did you coddle them and hold them? Um? Let

931
00:50:26,360 --> 00:50:32,640
Speaker 1: him cry it out. The more you ignore them, the

932
00:50:32,719 --> 00:50:36,520
Speaker 1: more you train them. But the more you you caught

933
00:50:36,560 --> 00:50:38,400
Speaker 1: ale them and you take it, it's gonna be a

934
00:50:38,440 --> 00:50:41,279
Speaker 1: prompt for you later. Yeah, I mean, I think I'm

935
00:50:41,280 --> 00:50:44,920
Speaker 1: with them, you know, It's just it's hard. I mean,

936
00:50:45,040 --> 00:50:48,160
Speaker 1: I'm the kind of I want to coddle him and

937
00:50:48,200 --> 00:50:50,280
Speaker 1: put him in bed with us, and Mike's like, nope,

938
00:50:50,440 --> 00:50:53,040
Speaker 1: ain't happening, Like just just let him cry it out,

939
00:50:53,080 --> 00:50:57,480
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I can't, no, beg you gotta keep

940
00:50:57,520 --> 00:51:04,480
Speaker 1: that sex life, that's right. Yea. Sometimes I would purposely

941
00:51:04,520 --> 00:51:06,640
Speaker 1: bring my child in the bed just for a nice

942
00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:11,200
Speaker 1: little break. I would I would wait that the kid

943
00:51:11,239 --> 00:51:14,120
Speaker 1: fell asleep and there you good. You know what he

944
00:51:14,160 --> 00:51:15,840
Speaker 1: would do is wait till the child fell asleep and

945
00:51:15,880 --> 00:51:18,400
Speaker 1: then get the child who him or her out of

946
00:51:18,440 --> 00:51:22,239
Speaker 1: the bed. Well, here's actually you talk about sex life

947
00:51:22,280 --> 00:51:24,200
Speaker 1: last night to bring you into our marriage a little bit.

948
00:51:24,360 --> 00:51:26,600
Speaker 1: I was super tired and obviously had a real emotional

949
00:51:26,680 --> 00:51:29,440
Speaker 1: day with Jason. But you know, it's been a minute.

950
00:51:29,480 --> 00:51:32,200
Speaker 1: It's been a minute, and so I tried to like,

951
00:51:33,120 --> 00:51:35,560
Speaker 1: you know, cattle up on him and I'm like kissing him,

952
00:51:35,640 --> 00:51:37,399
Speaker 1: and so I basically got the hint that he didn't

953
00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:39,120
Speaker 1: want anything, and so I turned over and I was like,

954
00:51:39,120 --> 00:51:41,040
Speaker 1: I feel really turned down right now because he always

955
00:51:41,040 --> 00:51:42,960
Speaker 1: says I don't really make the move, but I like,

956
00:51:43,040 --> 00:51:44,600
Speaker 1: he's like, I want to know you're making a move.

957
00:51:44,680 --> 00:51:46,480
Speaker 1: I'm like, when do I cuttle up and like basically

958
00:51:46,560 --> 00:51:50,839
Speaker 1: hump your leg and kiss you like never you know

959
00:51:50,880 --> 00:51:53,600
Speaker 1: what it is. We're just so shocked when it happened.

960
00:51:55,680 --> 00:51:57,920
Speaker 1: We don't know what to do. Wait, that was you

961
00:51:58,000 --> 00:52:00,239
Speaker 1: feeling guilty? Like, wait, it's been a minute. Let like

962
00:52:00,320 --> 00:52:05,759
Speaker 1: try to like do something. Here. Shanna's one line and

963
00:52:05,760 --> 00:52:07,799
Speaker 1: we're watching a movie with like a ship in a

964
00:52:07,840 --> 00:52:09,880
Speaker 1: submarine shot of torpedo and she's like, I could use

965
00:52:09,920 --> 00:52:14,960
Speaker 1: a torpedo. I was like, funny joke, I was, I

966
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:18,359
Speaker 1: don't really know that. As you move alright, so I

967
00:52:18,400 --> 00:52:20,640
Speaker 1: know you um Sarah, do you got any questions for

968
00:52:20,640 --> 00:52:23,719
Speaker 1: for the housewives lovers? And then I could be here

969
00:52:23,719 --> 00:52:27,560
Speaker 1: all day. But my first question is I'm actually curious,

970
00:52:27,560 --> 00:52:29,480
Speaker 1: are you guys filming or are you going to film?

971
00:52:29,520 --> 00:52:32,800
Speaker 1: How is Quarantine filming going to work? Um? We actually

972
00:52:32,880 --> 00:52:36,319
Speaker 1: started filming for like a week or two and then

973
00:52:36,480 --> 00:52:41,400
Speaker 1: hold On and then COVID happened and they closed us down,

974
00:52:41,520 --> 00:52:43,799
Speaker 1: so we only got like a half an episode in

975
00:52:44,320 --> 00:52:48,520
Speaker 1: and we are about to start up again because there

976
00:52:48,600 --> 00:52:52,759
Speaker 1: was just my husband is a hockey fanatic, and what

977
00:52:52,840 --> 00:52:55,200
Speaker 1: am I gonna do? Bravo needs to get some shows

978
00:52:55,280 --> 00:52:57,960
Speaker 1: out because I cannot be watching hockey all day long,

979
00:52:58,280 --> 00:53:00,360
Speaker 1: I know, I know. Well, we're going to one of

980
00:53:00,400 --> 00:53:03,160
Speaker 1: the ones who are definitely filming during this craziness. So

981
00:53:03,200 --> 00:53:05,480
Speaker 1: we'll see like how that goes. It's either going to

982
00:53:05,520 --> 00:53:07,719
Speaker 1: be a full like I don't know, like you're gonna

983
00:53:07,719 --> 00:53:10,480
Speaker 1: be your kids are gonna be filming you on their iPhones. Well,

984
00:53:10,560 --> 00:53:12,880
Speaker 1: we've been there, John Dad already, we've been doing some

985
00:53:12,920 --> 00:53:16,359
Speaker 1: things like that. But we're doing real like heads up

986
00:53:16,400 --> 00:53:20,280
Speaker 1: filming coming up. So yeah, I'm ready. I'm so ready

987
00:53:21,160 --> 00:53:25,480
Speaker 1: turned it over fast enough, you know. Speaking of they've

988
00:53:25,560 --> 00:53:27,879
Speaker 1: got to be. They're really pumping out some stuff right now.

989
00:53:27,960 --> 00:53:31,440
Speaker 1: So yeah, everybody's watching TV. Yeah, yeah, that's all we

990
00:53:31,480 --> 00:53:33,600
Speaker 1: got to do. Speaking of filming and everything, before you

991
00:53:33,600 --> 00:53:35,279
Speaker 1: guys even got I'm gonna take you back before you

992
00:53:35,280 --> 00:53:38,160
Speaker 1: even got on the show. Has it the kind of

993
00:53:38,239 --> 00:53:40,640
Speaker 1: notoriety that you all have, the following that you guys have.

994
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:44,360
Speaker 1: Has it met expectations, exceeded expectations? Is there anything you

995
00:53:44,360 --> 00:53:47,080
Speaker 1: would change about it, like knowing what you know now

996
00:53:47,080 --> 00:53:51,800
Speaker 1: about your experience. Um, not too much. I feel like

997
00:53:51,920 --> 00:53:54,799
Speaker 1: Joe and I like, out of the Housewives and the cut,

998
00:53:54,840 --> 00:53:58,080
Speaker 1: we've gotten obviously a lot more of the positive. Um,

999
00:53:58,280 --> 00:54:00,399
Speaker 1: we do show that we go through struggle and we're

1000
00:54:00,440 --> 00:54:02,239
Speaker 1: like a real family and we fight through it and

1001
00:54:02,280 --> 00:54:05,839
Speaker 1: we show we really do show our real couple situations

1002
00:54:05,880 --> 00:54:08,799
Speaker 1: all the time. So we've learned to we don't take

1003
00:54:08,840 --> 00:54:11,400
Speaker 1: it too seriously, Like we really know some housewives and

1004
00:54:11,400 --> 00:54:14,040
Speaker 1: I won't mention names. It's not just our franchise. They

1005
00:54:14,080 --> 00:54:17,200
Speaker 1: get on this show and they want to divorce, they

1006
00:54:17,280 --> 00:54:21,680
Speaker 1: want a statue in the middle of their town, they

1007
00:54:21,680 --> 00:54:25,480
Speaker 1: want to be named after them. It's like insane when

1008
00:54:25,480 --> 00:54:28,040
Speaker 1: it's like we just we're on a show. Obviously we

1009
00:54:28,080 --> 00:54:31,520
Speaker 1: have great opportunities from it. I have Envy, my boutiques amazing,

1010
00:54:31,560 --> 00:54:35,440
Speaker 1: my online is amazing. So that like we've learned, I mean,

1011
00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:38,919
Speaker 1: I have a whole you know, we're you guys get

1012
00:54:38,960 --> 00:54:41,840
Speaker 1: that we're branded now at this point, and you know,

1013
00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:45,359
Speaker 1: there's so many opportunities with that. For me, it's like

1014
00:54:45,400 --> 00:54:47,560
Speaker 1: we go to work, but we also go to work

1015
00:54:47,680 --> 00:54:50,480
Speaker 1: very authentically. So it's like we go to work and

1016
00:54:50,520 --> 00:54:52,440
Speaker 1: I get it that it's a job, but we're showing

1017
00:54:52,480 --> 00:54:54,319
Speaker 1: what we would really do and saying what we would

1018
00:54:54,320 --> 00:54:57,240
Speaker 1: really do. And when I have an argument with these ladies,

1019
00:54:57,640 --> 00:54:59,680
Speaker 1: I'm not putting it on for the cameras. I really

1020
00:54:59,719 --> 00:55:04,520
Speaker 1: tell um, I think their whack jobs winner. Also, it's

1021
00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:07,440
Speaker 1: it's it's we get that it's work, but it's authentic work.

1022
00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:10,120
Speaker 1: You know, Melissa, you just talked about your company Envy

1023
00:55:10,120 --> 00:55:12,200
Speaker 1: and everything. And Joe, I know you just released a book,

1024
00:55:12,280 --> 00:55:14,960
Speaker 1: right the Gorger Guided to Success, which has been a

1025
00:55:15,040 --> 00:55:17,560
Speaker 1: best seller show far. How is that and what can

1026
00:55:17,760 --> 00:55:19,800
Speaker 1: just for the men out there that listen to this podcast,

1027
00:55:20,040 --> 00:55:23,160
Speaker 1: what can we expect from reading that book? It's all

1028
00:55:23,160 --> 00:55:26,919
Speaker 1: about motivation, How how I start out in business? Um,

1029
00:55:27,280 --> 00:55:29,160
Speaker 1: how to love a woman, how to treat a woman,

1030
00:55:29,200 --> 00:55:30,480
Speaker 1: because a lot of men out there don't know how

1031
00:55:30,480 --> 00:55:36,839
Speaker 1: to treat a woman. And you know, well, she's happy's

1032
00:55:36,960 --> 00:55:40,080
Speaker 1: mping that leg. I must be doing something right if

1033
00:55:40,080 --> 00:55:44,239
Speaker 1: she's humping the leg last night. Well that's that's. Yeah.

1034
00:55:44,239 --> 00:55:45,640
Speaker 1: It's all about you. If you you can have all

1035
00:55:45,680 --> 00:55:46,800
Speaker 1: the money in the world, but if you don't have

1036
00:55:46,840 --> 00:55:48,480
Speaker 1: to be a man and be a father and be

1037
00:55:48,560 --> 00:55:51,000
Speaker 1: a being a husband, you're nothing. In my book, so

1038
00:55:51,080 --> 00:55:53,560
Speaker 1: it's kind of a little bit about that, and you know,

1039
00:55:53,840 --> 00:55:55,960
Speaker 1: it's a it's a quick read, it's a great read.

1040
00:55:56,280 --> 00:55:58,600
Speaker 1: You know, it's more it's also about just like getting

1041
00:55:58,640 --> 00:56:01,160
Speaker 1: started in business and come from the bottom and having

1042
00:56:01,200 --> 00:56:04,040
Speaker 1: immigrant parents from Italy that could barely speak the language

1043
00:56:04,080 --> 00:56:08,000
Speaker 1: and creating what we have now. You know that's awesome. Um,

1044
00:56:08,040 --> 00:56:09,600
Speaker 1: maybe you can do add that to here, because Mike

1045
00:56:09,640 --> 00:56:11,879
Speaker 1: does a motivation thing in the morning and that could

1046
00:56:11,880 --> 00:56:13,399
Speaker 1: be a that'd be a good book too. It will

1047
00:56:13,400 --> 00:56:15,440
Speaker 1: be next Right now, he's reading How to Be an

1048
00:56:15,440 --> 00:56:18,000
Speaker 1: Adult in a Relationship, So that's uh, he's been crushing.

1049
00:56:18,040 --> 00:56:21,120
Speaker 1: He's crushed in that book right now. Um, But in

1050
00:56:21,280 --> 00:56:25,160
Speaker 1: y'all's couple Ship what is the thing that's UM a constant,

1051
00:56:25,239 --> 00:56:29,040
Speaker 1: like you have to continue to keep working on UM.

1052
00:56:29,080 --> 00:56:31,359
Speaker 1: I think it's what we have to keep working on.

1053
00:56:31,560 --> 00:56:35,440
Speaker 1: Is like would you argue we like over some petty stuff.

1054
00:56:35,520 --> 00:56:39,440
Speaker 1: I don't know. We think you know, listen, most important thingship,

1055
00:56:39,560 --> 00:56:43,160
Speaker 1: all right, we've been married fifteen years going on sixteen,

1056
00:56:44,040 --> 00:56:47,920
Speaker 1: but I we keep it as a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship.

1057
00:56:48,480 --> 00:56:51,720
Speaker 1: I'd say she's my wife, but I think about my girlfriend. Sex.

1058
00:56:51,760 --> 00:56:54,920
Speaker 1: We talked about sex. Sex is extremely important. You know

1059
00:56:55,000 --> 00:56:57,880
Speaker 1: you have you have a young baby. Usually moms that

1060
00:56:58,000 --> 00:56:59,839
Speaker 1: have babies are like, oh, I'm tired at the end

1061
00:56:59,840 --> 00:57:03,040
Speaker 1: of it. Well, you can't be taught now you have

1062
00:57:03,120 --> 00:57:06,400
Speaker 1: him to think about. Right, Right, you got when you

1063
00:57:06,520 --> 00:57:08,520
Speaker 1: keep that alive, you keep that happy. You got a

1064
00:57:08,520 --> 00:57:10,800
Speaker 1: good marriage. And it's all about marriage. With what happened

1065
00:57:10,800 --> 00:57:13,200
Speaker 1: to COVID, everybody shut down who you shut down with

1066
00:57:13,280 --> 00:57:17,360
Speaker 1: your family? There's nothing else, right, What do you guys

1067
00:57:17,440 --> 00:57:20,360
Speaker 1: think of that impacting I mean just from I guess

1068
00:57:20,560 --> 00:57:23,760
Speaker 1: people of celebrity status in the rate of divorces that

1069
00:57:23,800 --> 00:57:26,680
Speaker 1: have been happening, just those are just divorces that we

1070
00:57:26,720 --> 00:57:28,840
Speaker 1: see right because of of media picking it up. But

1071
00:57:28,880 --> 00:57:31,960
Speaker 1: I can't imagine people that aren't being you know, opening

1072
00:57:32,000 --> 00:57:33,960
Speaker 1: the public about their divorces. Like, what do you guys

1073
00:57:34,000 --> 00:57:36,160
Speaker 1: think about that? Do you think the COVID has been

1074
00:57:36,200 --> 00:57:39,000
Speaker 1: a big impact on that and enforcing us to be

1075
00:57:39,040 --> 00:57:41,720
Speaker 1: so around each other so much? You know what, I've

1076
00:57:41,720 --> 00:57:44,440
Speaker 1: been married to him for fifteen years. I have never

1077
00:57:44,480 --> 00:57:47,280
Speaker 1: spent this amount of time with him in my life.

1078
00:57:47,640 --> 00:57:51,040
Speaker 1: And that's like, so I can understand why people are

1079
00:57:51,080 --> 00:57:54,880
Speaker 1: like WHOA. Like our routine is usually he gets up

1080
00:57:54,960 --> 00:57:57,040
Speaker 1: very early in the morning, he comes home, there's like

1081
00:57:57,080 --> 00:57:59,640
Speaker 1: that two hours after dinner before someone falls asleep on

1082
00:57:59,640 --> 00:58:02,400
Speaker 1: the couch, and then there's the weekend. But like when

1083
00:58:02,400 --> 00:58:05,680
Speaker 1: it's NonStop, I can see why couples are like WHOA,

1084
00:58:05,880 --> 00:58:07,960
Speaker 1: this is like a lot of time with you, because

1085
00:58:08,160 --> 00:58:10,560
Speaker 1: I think people get into a routine of like, Okay,

1086
00:58:10,600 --> 00:58:11,800
Speaker 1: well I'm gonna hang out with him a couple of

1087
00:58:11,800 --> 00:58:13,680
Speaker 1: hours and I'm gonna get a sleep and then like

1088
00:58:13,760 --> 00:58:16,880
Speaker 1: hang out a weekend in front and they don't realize

1089
00:58:16,960 --> 00:58:20,120
Speaker 1: Like I think COVID did open a lot of people's

1090
00:58:20,120 --> 00:58:22,920
Speaker 1: eyes to like who they're married to and like what

1091
00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:25,200
Speaker 1: it's like if you have to spend every minute of

1092
00:58:25,240 --> 00:58:27,560
Speaker 1: every day. So what about what how do how do

1093
00:58:27,600 --> 00:58:32,440
Speaker 1: you feel? I'm good, I'm good, I still like me,

1094
00:58:32,560 --> 00:58:36,160
Speaker 1: still cool. No, But I mean I think I honestly,

1095
00:58:36,200 --> 00:58:39,000
Speaker 1: I think that we even got a little closer. Yeah

1096
00:58:39,080 --> 00:58:41,360
Speaker 1: I didn't. I mean, we were always tight, but I

1097
00:58:41,360 --> 00:58:44,360
Speaker 1: think we got a little bit more closer. So if

1098
00:58:44,400 --> 00:58:46,560
Speaker 1: there's true love and somebody really loves each other' gonna

1099
00:58:46,560 --> 00:58:48,840
Speaker 1: get closer right in times like this, or they're gonna

1100
00:58:48,840 --> 00:58:53,240
Speaker 1: be like, hell, no, you suck, you know, I mean

1101
00:58:54,080 --> 00:58:56,440
Speaker 1: I could definitely. It's like we've done so much freaking

1102
00:58:56,480 --> 00:58:59,760
Speaker 1: therapy in our relationship that it's like because the same thing,

1103
00:58:59,800 --> 00:59:02,320
Speaker 1: like we spent so much time together. Now if our communication,

1104
00:59:02,520 --> 00:59:04,800
Speaker 1: if are we didn't have those skills, we would probably

1105
00:59:05,280 --> 00:59:08,000
Speaker 1: be right there with them in the tabloids. For I

1106
00:59:08,080 --> 00:59:10,960
Speaker 1: can't freak an analysts because it's it's it's a lot,

1107
00:59:11,400 --> 00:59:14,800
Speaker 1: it's amazing. Everyone says it helps so much, and it's amazing.

1108
00:59:14,840 --> 00:59:18,320
Speaker 1: Do you agree therapy it's the only way we've been

1109
00:59:18,360 --> 00:59:22,120
Speaker 1: able to survive. Big advocates for it personally and a

1110
00:59:22,120 --> 00:59:24,280
Speaker 1: couple of ships for sure, and having that third party

1111
00:59:24,360 --> 00:59:27,360
Speaker 1: just help us talk to each other because I think

1112
00:59:27,560 --> 00:59:31,120
Speaker 1: for us, like, yeah, you guys communicate a lot. You

1113
00:59:31,200 --> 00:59:34,040
Speaker 1: hold it in and then went the therapy and then

1114
00:59:34,080 --> 00:59:39,000
Speaker 1: you learn about that. We've learned how to communicate now

1115
00:59:39,200 --> 00:59:41,360
Speaker 1: from our therapist. There's like the safe talk process of

1116
00:59:41,400 --> 00:59:43,600
Speaker 1: like how to identify and not blame because a lot

1117
00:59:43,600 --> 00:59:45,200
Speaker 1: of times I'd be like, well, you're doing this and

1118
00:59:45,240 --> 00:59:46,960
Speaker 1: you're doing that. Well, he's not going to hear that

1119
00:59:47,080 --> 00:59:49,680
Speaker 1: at all if I'm saying you you you you you

1120
00:59:49,960 --> 00:59:52,000
Speaker 1: have to you know. So it's like we've just learned

1121
00:59:52,000 --> 00:59:54,400
Speaker 1: now how to talk. We don't do it right every time.

1122
00:59:54,560 --> 00:59:57,040
Speaker 1: You know, I didn't do it right this morning. Um,

1123
00:59:57,080 --> 01:00:00,680
Speaker 1: you know, so there's certain times where you guys are laughed.

1124
01:00:00,680 --> 01:00:04,040
Speaker 1: Why are you laughing? You for being honest. I just

1125
01:00:04,160 --> 01:00:06,760
Speaker 1: love listening to other couples. I forgot how much I

1126
01:00:06,840 --> 01:00:10,080
Speaker 1: love listening to other couples. I want to be a

1127
01:00:10,120 --> 01:00:13,800
Speaker 1: therapist in my next life. I just like how you're honest.

1128
01:00:13,840 --> 01:00:15,240
Speaker 1: You're being honest. You're like, I didn't do a great

1129
01:00:15,280 --> 01:00:17,240
Speaker 1: job this morning, up doing what I'm sposed to do.

1130
01:00:17,320 --> 01:00:19,560
Speaker 1: But but you know we're still here. Yeah, yeah, And

1131
01:00:19,600 --> 01:00:21,600
Speaker 1: it's just you know, we'll do it better next time,

1132
01:00:21,640 --> 01:00:23,400
Speaker 1: and you know we don't do it perfectly. But we're

1133
01:00:23,440 --> 01:00:25,360
Speaker 1: doing it a hell of a lot better than we

1134
01:00:25,400 --> 01:00:28,160
Speaker 1: did the past few years. Yeah, And to answer your question, Joe,

1135
01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:31,880
Speaker 1: that's exactly how we were, Joe was we would hold

1136
01:00:31,920 --> 01:00:34,760
Speaker 1: it in, we would push it down, build his resentment

1137
01:00:34,800 --> 01:00:37,400
Speaker 1: that would blow the f up, you know, or wait

1138
01:00:37,520 --> 01:00:39,760
Speaker 1: till therapy and then we just all during therapy when

1139
01:00:39,920 --> 01:00:41,960
Speaker 1: we want to play the blame game and it's pouring

1140
01:00:41,960 --> 01:00:43,880
Speaker 1: each other. Instead of using that time to learn more

1141
01:00:43,880 --> 01:00:46,320
Speaker 1: about one another, you know, we'd use as as an

1142
01:00:46,320 --> 01:00:48,240
Speaker 1: opportunity of platform to blame each other, and that just

1143
01:00:48,240 --> 01:00:50,840
Speaker 1: didn't work out. So because of things like this morning,

1144
01:00:50,920 --> 01:00:53,960
Speaker 1: us not handling things exactly perfect, we're still able to

1145
01:00:54,000 --> 01:00:57,280
Speaker 1: come do this, be together, be friends, still love each

1146
01:00:57,280 --> 01:00:59,880
Speaker 1: other and not it ruined our entire day like it

1147
01:01:00,040 --> 01:01:01,280
Speaker 1: used to. And that was the biggest thing, is our

1148
01:01:01,320 --> 01:01:05,080
Speaker 1: rebound time between disagreements are kind of missing. We're able

1149
01:01:05,120 --> 01:01:07,160
Speaker 1: to come back right around because of what we've learned,

1150
01:01:08,400 --> 01:01:10,720
Speaker 1: which makes sense, like not holding onto the grudge for

1151
01:01:10,720 --> 01:01:13,240
Speaker 1: the whole weekend and ruining your whole weekend because of

1152
01:01:13,240 --> 01:01:15,880
Speaker 1: an argument. Right, everyone was your weekend just as much

1153
01:01:15,920 --> 01:01:17,760
Speaker 1: as it would his if you sit there and hold

1154
01:01:17,800 --> 01:01:20,600
Speaker 1: onto it all day. So yeah, that would suck. Would

1155
01:01:20,680 --> 01:01:24,800
Speaker 1: you guys if you had if you look back, would

1156
01:01:24,840 --> 01:01:30,840
Speaker 1: you have done Housewives again? Like if if you could

1157
01:01:30,880 --> 01:01:33,360
Speaker 1: do it again, Like would you still do it? Knowing

1158
01:01:33,440 --> 01:01:35,360
Speaker 1: kind of everything that went through and how like you know,

1159
01:01:35,520 --> 01:01:38,400
Speaker 1: your sister was like all those things that kind of

1160
01:01:38,480 --> 01:01:42,360
Speaker 1: came to the foreground. Is it something that it's impact

1161
01:01:42,360 --> 01:01:44,560
Speaker 1: of the family maybe, like yeah, you guys have all

1162
01:01:44,800 --> 01:01:46,960
Speaker 1: gone work through it and gone you know, and are

1163
01:01:47,040 --> 01:01:49,400
Speaker 1: better now. But is it something where you're like, man,

1164
01:01:49,480 --> 01:01:51,920
Speaker 1: maybe maybe we shouldn't have done that, and I we

1165
01:01:51,960 --> 01:01:55,840
Speaker 1: wouldn't have done it again. I mean, I think we

1166
01:01:55,880 --> 01:01:59,560
Speaker 1: have different opinions on this, Like for me, I would

1167
01:01:59,560 --> 01:02:01,720
Speaker 1: do it again. And I don't think it's that like

1168
01:02:01,960 --> 01:02:05,520
Speaker 1: impactful I feel, I mean it has been, but I

1169
01:02:05,520 --> 01:02:07,680
Speaker 1: feel like we've done a really really good job. I

1170
01:02:07,800 --> 01:02:10,280
Speaker 1: sometimes feel like he wishes that we didn't get into it,

1171
01:02:10,520 --> 01:02:13,120
Speaker 1: and I think it's just two different It's because it

1172
01:02:13,280 --> 01:02:15,120
Speaker 1: sends me out of the house obviously a lot more

1173
01:02:15,160 --> 01:02:16,760
Speaker 1: than it sends him out of the house. It keeps

1174
01:02:16,800 --> 01:02:18,800
Speaker 1: me busy when I was home a lot more, and

1175
01:02:18,840 --> 01:02:22,120
Speaker 1: I think he misses that, do you know what I mean? Sure?

1176
01:02:22,680 --> 01:02:25,200
Speaker 1: And you know your wife's all over the place and

1177
01:02:25,720 --> 01:02:27,680
Speaker 1: you want to come home, and you know, I built

1178
01:02:27,680 --> 01:02:30,280
Speaker 1: a great company and I'm working and I didn't need

1179
01:02:30,320 --> 01:02:32,800
Speaker 1: this in my life. And things change, you know, it's

1180
01:02:32,840 --> 01:02:35,360
Speaker 1: fifty fifty. There's good things and then there's bad things.

1181
01:02:35,800 --> 01:02:40,080
Speaker 1: You know. Uh, with our family, we were really in

1182
01:02:40,160 --> 01:02:42,880
Speaker 1: turmoil and the show kind of brought us together, so

1183
01:02:42,920 --> 01:02:46,600
Speaker 1: we are better. So sometimes I said, I wish I

1184
01:02:46,640 --> 01:02:49,000
Speaker 1: never did it, and sometimes I like it. You know,

1185
01:02:49,200 --> 01:02:52,520
Speaker 1: depends on the day, for sure. No, that totally makes sense.

1186
01:02:52,600 --> 01:02:54,800
Speaker 1: And with all of you guys have been able to

1187
01:02:54,840 --> 01:02:57,840
Speaker 1: benefit from with the show. We know you're launching that

1188
01:02:57,840 --> 01:03:00,480
Speaker 1: new app with that Celebrity slots. Tells a little bit

1189
01:03:00,520 --> 01:03:03,720
Speaker 1: and our listeners about that because it sounds amazing. Yeah,

1190
01:03:03,760 --> 01:03:06,680
Speaker 1: it's so fun. Our game is called Power Couple. So

1191
01:03:06,760 --> 01:03:09,600
Speaker 1: it's just a super super fun game where you know,

1192
01:03:09,680 --> 01:03:11,560
Speaker 1: Joe and I do voiceovers in it. We did photo

1193
01:03:11,600 --> 01:03:15,680
Speaker 1: shoots for It's a slot game. Um, so much fun

1194
01:03:15,720 --> 01:03:19,240
Speaker 1: and you can win like celebrities. If you're playing our game,

1195
01:03:19,600 --> 01:03:22,800
Speaker 1: you can win like shoutouts from us as on the

1196
01:03:22,880 --> 01:03:25,000
Speaker 1: smaller range, and then we signed books for you. You

1197
01:03:25,000 --> 01:03:27,240
Speaker 1: can win signed books. You can win like the big

1198
01:03:27,280 --> 01:03:29,640
Speaker 1: grand prizes. You come to Jersey and have dinner with us.

1199
01:03:30,040 --> 01:03:32,240
Speaker 1: So that's so cool. I want to play. I want

1200
01:03:32,240 --> 01:03:38,360
Speaker 1: to have dinner with y'all. You guys, where are you? Okay? Oh,

1201
01:03:38,480 --> 01:03:44,800
Speaker 1: I want to come come on? Yeah but um but yeah.

1202
01:03:44,840 --> 01:03:47,720
Speaker 1: So it's like there's there's personal experiences and things that

1203
01:03:47,760 --> 01:03:50,240
Speaker 1: you can win, like a skype interview with us is

1204
01:03:50,280 --> 01:03:52,800
Speaker 1: one of the better prizes to um, things like that.

1205
01:03:52,880 --> 01:03:56,680
Speaker 1: So it's all free to download. It's a free game replay. Yeah,

1206
01:03:56,840 --> 01:03:58,640
Speaker 1: so it's awesome. It's such a great thing. We were

1207
01:03:58,680 --> 01:04:07,080
Speaker 1: so happy we did those free to not Ain't that

1208
01:04:07,160 --> 01:04:10,320
Speaker 1: Ain't that the truth? Oh? My good? Um, there's something.

1209
01:04:10,320 --> 01:04:12,320
Speaker 1: Oh I was gonna say something, but I wasn't sure

1210
01:04:12,320 --> 01:04:14,880
Speaker 1: if I could say it. But we might or might

1211
01:04:14,920 --> 01:04:19,480
Speaker 1: have auditioned for a certain uh Sarah's coming around a

1212
01:04:19,520 --> 01:04:26,400
Speaker 1: certain Housewives um thing. But I'm we haven't heard back yet.

1213
01:04:26,480 --> 01:04:28,360
Speaker 1: But at the same time, I'm like, I would be

1214
01:04:28,440 --> 01:04:30,680
Speaker 1: so afraid, like we'd be just eating a live spit

1215
01:04:30,720 --> 01:04:33,280
Speaker 1: out and then like canceled the next day. We'll be

1216
01:04:33,360 --> 01:04:36,440
Speaker 1: so cute and love and real and it will be

1217
01:04:36,480 --> 01:04:38,320
Speaker 1: the most loved has been on the show. You guys

1218
01:04:38,360 --> 01:04:40,720
Speaker 1: will be awesome in it, and you'd be like Melissa

1219
01:04:40,760 --> 01:04:43,400
Speaker 1: and just call out all the wack jobs like you're

1220
01:04:43,440 --> 01:04:47,200
Speaker 1: being an idiot, and you'd be great. You know. The

1221
01:04:47,240 --> 01:04:49,520
Speaker 1: audition came during quarantine and I'm like, all right, well,

1222
01:04:49,960 --> 01:04:52,080
Speaker 1: I'm like we're not doing anything else, you might as

1223
01:04:52,120 --> 01:04:53,960
Speaker 1: well entertain it. But we haven't heard anything, so I'm like,

1224
01:04:54,000 --> 01:04:59,240
Speaker 1: maybe we were just like boring people for you can't

1225
01:04:59,280 --> 01:05:01,840
Speaker 1: say I mean they didn't say I can't, so right,

1226
01:05:02,000 --> 01:05:08,760
Speaker 1: that's fine. The Beverly Hills, would you have to like

1227
01:05:08,880 --> 01:05:12,480
Speaker 1: move there? Yeah, we lived there before we came back

1228
01:05:12,520 --> 01:05:15,800
Speaker 1: to that, like we would just do like part time.

1229
01:05:15,840 --> 01:05:18,640
Speaker 1: But I mean, Teddy's a friend and so. But I

1230
01:05:18,920 --> 01:05:20,720
Speaker 1: have not heard anything, so I'm sure it's not going

1231
01:05:20,760 --> 01:05:23,880
Speaker 1: any further, but it was it was fun to entertain

1232
01:05:24,400 --> 01:05:28,440
Speaker 1: hold right now, so you never know, like you I

1233
01:05:28,480 --> 01:05:31,680
Speaker 1: could see you going in there like that totally. I

1234
01:05:31,720 --> 01:05:34,480
Speaker 1: think I think we'd get eat eaten up and spit out.

1235
01:05:34,520 --> 01:05:37,520
Speaker 1: But then because because I am so like, I get

1236
01:05:38,360 --> 01:05:40,640
Speaker 1: a lot hate hated on because the things that I say,

1237
01:05:40,640 --> 01:05:45,040
Speaker 1: because I'm very sarcastic, and I wouldn't want to filter

1238
01:05:45,160 --> 01:05:47,280
Speaker 1: myself too much because then I you know, I don't know.

1239
01:05:47,480 --> 01:05:49,480
Speaker 1: It just seems like it's That's why I asked, like

1240
01:05:49,480 --> 01:05:51,280
Speaker 1: if you regret it, because it seems like once you're in,

1241
01:05:51,400 --> 01:05:53,160
Speaker 1: it's like, okay, people are either going to love you

1242
01:05:53,240 --> 01:05:54,400
Speaker 1: or hate you. And I have a hard time with

1243
01:05:54,440 --> 01:05:57,280
Speaker 1: criticism and people not liking me, so I don't I

1244
01:05:57,280 --> 01:06:00,200
Speaker 1: don't know how I could physically handle up. No, you

1245
01:06:00,240 --> 01:06:02,160
Speaker 1: have to be okay with that because it comes when

1246
01:06:02,160 --> 01:06:04,640
Speaker 1: you're on Housewives Particular, which by the way, is one

1247
01:06:04,680 --> 01:06:07,720
Speaker 1: of the longest reality shows out there. Besides like the

1248
01:06:07,760 --> 01:06:11,640
Speaker 1: Kardashians and like the Housewives are really all the franchises

1249
01:06:11,720 --> 01:06:14,600
Speaker 1: are like Mega, you know, in in the reality world

1250
01:06:14,920 --> 01:06:20,919
Speaker 1: and I'll Bravo. So the fans are deep, strong, opinionated.

1251
01:06:21,120 --> 01:06:23,160
Speaker 1: You will have them. They will die for you, but

1252
01:06:23,200 --> 01:06:27,400
Speaker 1: they will also want you debt like you have to

1253
01:06:27,480 --> 01:06:30,240
Speaker 1: have the thickest in and be like, okay, see you

1254
01:06:30,320 --> 01:06:33,720
Speaker 1: later onto the next like you cannot even blink. I

1255
01:06:33,800 --> 01:06:36,360
Speaker 1: literally the first two years I was on that show,

1256
01:06:36,400 --> 01:06:41,960
Speaker 1: I cried under my bed, like pull my feet out

1257
01:06:41,960 --> 01:06:45,840
Speaker 1: from under the bed. I'm not going on the line

1258
01:06:45,880 --> 01:06:48,520
Speaker 1: today because the parents are gonna look at me like that.

1259
01:06:48,840 --> 01:06:53,160
Speaker 1: Moll I was like, you don't even know what I

1260
01:06:53,160 --> 01:07:00,560
Speaker 1: didn't go through. It was bad. I'm freaking crow. I

1261
01:07:00,600 --> 01:07:02,919
Speaker 1: am a crow. You guys gonna say now, you would

1262
01:07:02,960 --> 01:07:05,520
Speaker 1: never know. You're out here telling them what's up, like

1263
01:07:05,600 --> 01:07:08,120
Speaker 1: you don't give up, like I'm this right, I'm this,

1264
01:07:08,800 --> 01:07:11,800
Speaker 1: and I would like to thank on the show. So

1265
01:07:12,120 --> 01:07:14,600
Speaker 1: oh my gosh. Well, I mean, if if in it

1266
01:07:15,240 --> 01:07:18,160
Speaker 1: probably would not, but if it did happen, I'm gonna

1267
01:07:18,160 --> 01:07:21,160
Speaker 1: be calling you, okay, so she can be your coach.

1268
01:07:21,680 --> 01:07:26,880
Speaker 1: We need a new house. He's got a next girlfriend

1269
01:07:26,880 --> 01:07:29,320
Speaker 1: in Jersey, so why don't you call her up? Perfect?

1270
01:07:31,000 --> 01:07:41,160
Speaker 1: What part of Jersey staten eile, Well, come to Nashville.

1271
01:07:41,320 --> 01:07:43,760
Speaker 1: We'll come to Jersey. Love you guys so much. Everybody

1272
01:07:43,800 --> 01:07:46,280
Speaker 1: download this their Celebrity Slot game. Can you plug it

1273
01:07:46,280 --> 01:07:49,280
Speaker 1: one more time for us? Yes, guys, Celebrity Slot you

1274
01:07:49,280 --> 01:07:52,040
Speaker 1: can get downloaded on the app Store. It's all free

1275
01:07:52,080 --> 01:07:54,560
Speaker 1: to download. So much fun. And maybe we'll have dinner

1276
01:07:54,600 --> 01:07:56,960
Speaker 1: with you guys. I'm obsessed with you guys. This is

1277
01:07:57,040 --> 01:08:02,080
Speaker 1: so real and we can talk relationships and to dinner.

1278
01:08:02,080 --> 01:08:04,320
Speaker 1: We're gonna come visit you guys, Okay, love you guys.

1279
01:08:04,320 --> 01:08:08,360
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Thank you guys so much, Sarah

1280
01:08:08,400 --> 01:08:13,480
Speaker 1: you there. I'm obsessed with them. I love her, I

1281
01:08:13,520 --> 01:08:15,480
Speaker 1: love and I feel like you could all be best friends.

1282
01:08:16,360 --> 01:08:18,559
Speaker 1: I'm just like still shock that you just dropped the

1283
01:08:18,560 --> 01:08:22,080
Speaker 1: Beverly Hills bomb. I don't I don't think I get

1284
01:08:22,120 --> 01:08:25,559
Speaker 1: in trouble. She didn't make me sign anything. I don't think, so,

1285
01:08:25,640 --> 01:08:29,960
Speaker 1: I don't think so. I don't know. But it's been.

1286
01:08:30,000 --> 01:08:31,920
Speaker 1: It's been. So I had a phone interview with her

1287
01:08:31,960 --> 01:08:34,479
Speaker 1: and then we had then she wanted to meet Mike

1288
01:08:34,520 --> 01:08:38,240
Speaker 1: and so we did the whole face time zoom. It

1289
01:08:38,400 --> 01:08:42,920
Speaker 1: was in the end of May and she said, I'll

1290
01:08:42,960 --> 01:08:44,559
Speaker 1: talk to you in a month. So I mean, it's

1291
01:08:44,560 --> 01:08:46,519
Speaker 1: been over a month, so I figured, like I texted

1292
01:08:46,560 --> 01:08:48,360
Speaker 1: Teddy and I was like, hey, how did you know?

1293
01:08:48,400 --> 01:08:49,720
Speaker 1: Did she say it went good? And She's like, oh

1294
01:08:49,800 --> 01:08:51,320
Speaker 1: my god, it said she said it went amazing. So

1295
01:08:51,400 --> 01:08:53,760
Speaker 1: I mean it sounds like it's probably not a go

1296
01:08:54,040 --> 01:08:55,640
Speaker 1: since it's been. But I mean, I don't even know

1297
01:08:55,600 --> 01:08:58,840
Speaker 1: if something you would want to do it's going to die.

1298
01:09:00,160 --> 01:09:02,280
Speaker 1: Maybe it could be good because people could start commenting

1299
01:09:02,320 --> 01:09:04,760
Speaker 1: and next thing you know, it's like hashtag. But like,

1300
01:09:04,920 --> 01:09:07,600
Speaker 1: I feel like I would be like Melissa under the

1301
01:09:07,680 --> 01:09:10,120
Speaker 1: bed like you would have to drag my. I can't

1302
01:09:10,120 --> 01:09:13,280
Speaker 1: handle that. I can't even handle the wine down like

1303
01:09:13,400 --> 01:09:16,280
Speaker 1: comments Sarah, I need be living for a while because

1304
01:09:16,280 --> 01:09:19,720
Speaker 1: I mean, you here for more support. Yeah, no, you

1305
01:09:19,880 --> 01:09:24,800
Speaker 1: I mean yeah, yeah, they were awesome though. There are

1306
01:09:24,800 --> 01:09:26,080
Speaker 1: a lot of fun. Yeah, there are a lot of fun.

1307
01:09:26,080 --> 01:09:27,360
Speaker 1: And I want to play the app just so I

1308
01:09:27,360 --> 01:09:30,040
Speaker 1: can maybe potentially win to hang out with them. Hey,

1309
01:09:30,080 --> 01:09:33,240
Speaker 1: you have to you have to hang out with us now, right,

1310
01:09:33,320 --> 01:09:35,519
Speaker 1: like hot, like that would be kind of stoker ish,

1311
01:09:35,560 --> 01:09:38,439
Speaker 1: but um yeah, I really like them a lot. But

1312
01:09:38,680 --> 01:09:41,320
Speaker 1: the Housewives franchise, I mean, Sarah, you're obsessed. But I

1313
01:09:41,360 --> 01:09:43,960
Speaker 1: mean it's like I feel like, if you say the

1314
01:09:43,960 --> 01:09:46,360
Speaker 1: wrong thing, you get canceled. But you want to know

1315
01:09:46,360 --> 01:09:48,920
Speaker 1: what as fast as you don't, you get hated on.

1316
01:09:49,040 --> 01:09:52,080
Speaker 1: But there's you know, there's a new story, there's a

1317
01:09:52,080 --> 01:09:54,720
Speaker 1: new episode, there's the next So that's why it's like

1318
01:09:55,720 --> 01:09:58,040
Speaker 1: I can't even tell you what happened in New Jersey

1319
01:09:58,040 --> 01:10:03,200
Speaker 1: two seasons ago, you know what I mean? Yeah, So like, yeah,

1320
01:10:03,240 --> 01:10:05,839
Speaker 1: you say something stupid, but then they hate another housewife

1321
01:10:05,880 --> 01:10:08,800
Speaker 1: the next week or I don't know, but yeah, I

1322
01:10:08,840 --> 01:10:16,000
Speaker 1: would be Wow, it would be interesting to say the least,

1323
01:10:16,120 --> 01:10:18,760
Speaker 1: but I'm still holding up for my acting career. So

1324
01:10:18,840 --> 01:10:20,920
Speaker 1: we'll see. Would you put the kids on the show

1325
01:10:20,960 --> 01:10:24,759
Speaker 1: if you guys went on. I mean, gosh, they're already

1326
01:10:24,880 --> 01:10:30,240
Speaker 1: a part of my ah. I will say this. I

1327
01:10:30,280 --> 01:10:32,080
Speaker 1: would until they say they don't want to be on.

1328
01:10:32,800 --> 01:10:36,760
Speaker 1: That's kind of how I I've already, you know. Unfortunately,

1329
01:10:36,800 --> 01:10:39,439
Speaker 1: I sometimes feel bad that I've shared so much about

1330
01:10:40,080 --> 01:10:43,400
Speaker 1: about them and um, because it is kind of weird.

1331
01:10:43,400 --> 01:10:44,840
Speaker 1: Like when we were at Disney World and someone was

1332
01:10:44,880 --> 01:10:47,879
Speaker 1: like Jollie and I was like, how does a complete stranger?

1333
01:10:48,439 --> 01:10:50,240
Speaker 1: But then I was like, oh crap, like I did

1334
01:10:50,240 --> 01:10:53,240
Speaker 1: this to her and I had this huge, like breakdown.

1335
01:10:53,280 --> 01:10:55,360
Speaker 1: I was like, but how do I reverse it? Because

1336
01:10:55,720 --> 01:10:57,720
Speaker 1: our life is sharing our story and our kids and

1337
01:10:58,720 --> 01:11:01,840
Speaker 1: um longster shut. I kind of came to we came

1338
01:11:01,880 --> 01:11:04,040
Speaker 1: to the conclusion that was like, Okay, when there's a

1339
01:11:04,080 --> 01:11:06,360
Speaker 1: time they're like Mommy, I don't want to be our

1340
01:11:06,640 --> 01:11:09,080
Speaker 1: put the phone away or no pictures or whatever, then

1341
01:11:09,080 --> 01:11:11,679
Speaker 1: I'm going to respect that. So I thought, I don't

1342
01:11:11,680 --> 01:11:13,160
Speaker 1: but I don't know what to do. Maybe that's the

1343
01:11:13,160 --> 01:11:15,120
Speaker 1: wrong thing to say. I don't know. I don't think

1344
01:11:15,120 --> 01:11:17,880
Speaker 1: there is a right thing. I just you're so protective

1345
01:11:18,000 --> 01:11:21,559
Speaker 1: that I could that I could see you caring way

1346
01:11:21,560 --> 01:11:23,240
Speaker 1: more about the kids than you know what I mean,

1347
01:11:23,240 --> 01:11:27,320
Speaker 1: you don't want anyone shot when when I put this

1348
01:11:27,360 --> 01:11:30,360
Speaker 1: stuff about Jolie out there and I had people saying

1349
01:11:30,439 --> 01:11:35,000
Speaker 1: how my daughter speaks like a troll and she's she's

1350
01:11:35,040 --> 01:11:38,519
Speaker 1: you know, and yes she had she has a speech delay.

1351
01:11:38,600 --> 01:11:42,400
Speaker 1: She's gotten so much better, but like, don't attack my kids,

1352
01:11:42,439 --> 01:11:49,240
Speaker 1: like attack us, you know, Mike, But it's just you

1353
01:11:49,280 --> 01:11:51,640
Speaker 1: know what I mean, it's that's that's where again. But

1354
01:11:51,680 --> 01:11:53,160
Speaker 1: that would be my fault and then I'd feel like

1355
01:11:53,160 --> 01:11:54,680
Speaker 1: a terrible parent and then like here I am like

1356
01:11:54,720 --> 01:11:58,920
Speaker 1: posting another cry myself. Is it's our kids, it's our

1357
01:11:59,000 --> 01:12:02,840
Speaker 1: decision until it's theirs. And I can tell you right now,

1358
01:12:02,920 --> 01:12:08,160
Speaker 1: Julie would definitely not say don't she's funny record thing. Yeah,

1359
01:12:08,360 --> 01:12:11,599
Speaker 1: she's gonna want it as much as anybody. So, um,

1360
01:12:11,720 --> 01:12:14,320
Speaker 1: can we please? Though I do want to plug miss Sarah.

1361
01:12:14,400 --> 01:12:18,160
Speaker 1: She has a new podcast, okay, okay, okay, and I'm

1362
01:12:18,200 --> 01:12:20,479
Speaker 1: so excited about it and I really really want to

1363
01:12:20,479 --> 01:12:22,640
Speaker 1: be a guest because we need to talk sex in

1364
01:12:22,640 --> 01:12:26,840
Speaker 1: the City episodes. But please tell everyone about your new podcast.

1365
01:12:27,280 --> 01:12:32,200
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I can this is Sarah No. I mean,

1366
01:12:32,240 --> 01:12:34,400
Speaker 1: it's just it's still very new. It's very much in

1367
01:12:34,439 --> 01:12:39,160
Speaker 1: the works. We've recorded like a teaser and a half. Um.

1368
01:12:39,240 --> 01:12:42,560
Speaker 1: But I feel like during Quarantine and especially after the miscarriage,

1369
01:12:42,680 --> 01:12:45,360
Speaker 1: I went a little bit of like a dark slum

1370
01:12:45,560 --> 01:12:49,200
Speaker 1: and I just was like, I need something. I need

1371
01:12:49,320 --> 01:12:52,160
Speaker 1: something to do with my time, I need something to

1372
01:12:52,240 --> 01:12:55,360
Speaker 1: obsess over. I just need something else to fill my mind.

1373
01:12:55,840 --> 01:13:00,680
Speaker 1: And so I just one of my girlfriends and I

1374
01:13:00,720 --> 01:13:04,760
Speaker 1: were kind of talking and we were like, you know what,

1375
01:13:06,080 --> 01:13:08,519
Speaker 1: every day you're texting someone saying, hey, have you seen

1376
01:13:08,520 --> 01:13:10,000
Speaker 1: this show? Oh my god, did you see this show?

1377
01:13:10,000 --> 01:13:11,439
Speaker 1: Oh my god, did you watch this movie? What are

1378
01:13:11,479 --> 01:13:13,479
Speaker 1: you watching on Netflix? And so we were like, why

1379
01:13:13,520 --> 01:13:15,439
Speaker 1: don't we just do a podcast? You know, it could

1380
01:13:15,439 --> 01:13:20,760
Speaker 1: be movies, documentaries, shows, housewives, um, really anything, and it's

1381
01:13:20,760 --> 01:13:22,840
Speaker 1: just for fun and it's just to give people, you know,

1382
01:13:23,520 --> 01:13:26,120
Speaker 1: people there are podcasts that recap everything, So we're like,

1383
01:13:26,160 --> 01:13:29,600
Speaker 1: why don't we just recap You know, we're no oscars

1384
01:13:29,680 --> 01:13:33,080
Speaker 1: or enemies. You know, my opinion does not matter. But

1385
01:13:33,280 --> 01:13:35,519
Speaker 1: it's just a light, fun show where we're going to

1386
01:13:35,640 --> 01:13:38,240
Speaker 1: just do a little recap and what's the name of it?

1387
01:13:39,000 --> 01:13:43,559
Speaker 1: The net chicks I love so much. I'm so excited

1388
01:13:43,600 --> 01:13:45,880
Speaker 1: for you. And when it comes out, you better to

1389
01:13:45,960 --> 01:13:48,920
Speaker 1: believe that wind Down will be promoting I'll be promoting

1390
01:13:48,920 --> 01:13:50,840
Speaker 1: the heck out of it because we love you well.

1391
01:13:50,840 --> 01:13:52,799
Speaker 1: You can come on and we'll talk, you know, our shows,

1392
01:13:52,880 --> 01:13:55,240
Speaker 1: and then obviously Mike's gonna have to come talk to

1393
01:13:55,240 --> 01:14:00,800
Speaker 1: the honest obviously, And then I just want to check

1394
01:14:00,840 --> 01:14:07,040
Speaker 1: in really fast. How are you with um everything post miscarriage.

1395
01:14:07,720 --> 01:14:14,400
Speaker 1: I'm good. I just feel like I'm better. I'm much better,

1396
01:14:15,560 --> 01:14:18,479
Speaker 1: but I still obsessed. It's just there. And that's why

1397
01:14:18,520 --> 01:14:20,280
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't know when it goes away or

1398
01:14:20,280 --> 01:14:26,000
Speaker 1: when you are okay or when you stop obsessing. But

1399
01:14:27,479 --> 01:14:31,800
Speaker 1: are you and I still trying. I'm just scared you

1400
01:14:31,840 --> 01:14:37,280
Speaker 1: haven't tried as much as as much as I'm like tough,

1401
01:14:37,400 --> 01:14:40,680
Speaker 1: and I'm just I'm so scared, which this might be

1402
01:14:40,680 --> 01:14:43,519
Speaker 1: too much info, but nobody tells you about the first

1403
01:14:44,520 --> 01:14:47,880
Speaker 1: period after them. I mean I was traumatized, like I

1404
01:14:47,960 --> 01:14:51,479
Speaker 1: literally was having like PTSD and I was like, I

1405
01:14:51,479 --> 01:14:54,880
Speaker 1: I can't go through this again. And so I'm just scared,

1406
01:14:55,000 --> 01:14:58,360
Speaker 1: right now, which again, I don't know if that ever

1407
01:14:58,439 --> 01:15:03,080
Speaker 1: goes away, but I'm just happy to have something else

1408
01:15:03,080 --> 01:15:08,680
Speaker 1: take take my mind over because I was obsessed. I mean,

1409
01:15:08,680 --> 01:15:10,599
Speaker 1: it's all I thought about. It's still all I think about,

1410
01:15:10,600 --> 01:15:13,160
Speaker 1: but it's you become obsessive, and that's what scares me.

1411
01:15:14,200 --> 01:15:18,439
Speaker 1: So it breaks my heart. And I please don't take

1412
01:15:18,520 --> 01:15:25,679
Speaker 1: this the anyway, but I'll say from experience and the

1413
01:15:25,720 --> 01:15:30,000
Speaker 1: only thing that truly helped me make me forget about it, unfortunately,

1414
01:15:30,000 --> 01:15:31,720
Speaker 1: and this sucks, and I hope this is in the

1415
01:15:31,760 --> 01:15:33,760
Speaker 1: case for you. But it wasn't until I was pregnant again.

1416
01:15:34,320 --> 01:15:39,719
Speaker 1: M hm. So it's like I, I hope that you can.

1417
01:15:40,960 --> 01:15:43,639
Speaker 1: I can't imagine the fear of not wanting to try again,

1418
01:15:43,760 --> 01:15:46,679
Speaker 1: but that might be the you know, you're gonna wonder

1419
01:15:46,720 --> 01:15:49,559
Speaker 1: when you're pregnant again, and then during your miscarriage. During

1420
01:15:49,560 --> 01:15:54,680
Speaker 1: your pregnancy, you're gonna wonder about miscarrying every day. But

1421
01:15:54,800 --> 01:15:57,120
Speaker 1: until you have that baby in your hands, that's when

1422
01:15:57,160 --> 01:16:03,519
Speaker 1: it goes away. For me, at least again. I won't

1423
01:16:03,560 --> 01:16:05,679
Speaker 1: go play golf with Tide because I refuse to learn,

1424
01:16:05,680 --> 01:16:07,679
Speaker 1: because I refused to not be good for that month

1425
01:16:07,760 --> 01:16:09,720
Speaker 1: or two months or however long. I just don't like

1426
01:16:09,960 --> 01:16:13,839
Speaker 1: not being really good at things. So I'm so afraid

1427
01:16:14,280 --> 01:16:16,200
Speaker 1: that we're going to spend a month or a two,

1428
01:16:16,320 --> 01:16:19,320
Speaker 1: or three however many months and I won't get pregnant,

1429
01:16:19,920 --> 01:16:22,360
Speaker 1: and then I'll just freak out inspiral. And I know

1430
01:16:22,479 --> 01:16:24,479
Speaker 1: it takes time, and I know some people it's taken

1431
01:16:24,520 --> 01:16:27,479
Speaker 1: ten years, but me, personally, I don't do well with

1432
01:16:27,600 --> 01:16:29,800
Speaker 1: not being good at things. That's just one of my things.

1433
01:16:29,840 --> 01:16:33,920
Speaker 1: And so I'm so the fear of not being good

1434
01:16:34,160 --> 01:16:37,439
Speaker 1: or pregnant is what's stopping me. It's almost like that.

1435
01:16:37,479 --> 01:16:39,040
Speaker 1: It's like a trauma. It's like almost like a trauma.

1436
01:16:39,040 --> 01:16:41,439
Speaker 1: Hold honor you if you talk to someone about that,

1437
01:16:41,560 --> 01:16:44,920
Speaker 1: to maybe help release some of those so that you

1438
01:16:44,960 --> 01:16:49,439
Speaker 1: can not have it be so heavy for you. No,

1439
01:16:50,040 --> 01:16:51,800
Speaker 1: I just feel like I've been working out a lot

1440
01:16:51,840 --> 01:16:54,200
Speaker 1: because I feel better, But then I'm scared. Am I

1441
01:16:54,240 --> 01:16:56,160
Speaker 1: working out too hard? Am I working out too much?

1442
01:16:56,200 --> 01:16:59,760
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Like? Is this hurting my body?

1443
01:17:00,280 --> 01:17:04,760
Speaker 1: So I don't know, it's just I would like to

1444
01:17:04,800 --> 01:17:07,160
Speaker 1: be out of quarantine. I would like this all to end.

1445
01:17:07,520 --> 01:17:09,640
Speaker 1: I feel like, not that it's ever easy, but I

1446
01:17:09,680 --> 01:17:12,680
Speaker 1: feel like it would be a lot easier if I

1447
01:17:12,680 --> 01:17:17,040
Speaker 1: could like go live my life, you know, I wouldn't

1448
01:17:17,040 --> 01:17:24,240
Speaker 1: obsess as much as I have. But that's okay, it

1449
01:17:24,320 --> 01:17:28,920
Speaker 1: will happen. We're gonna will. Y'all just need to keep

1450
01:17:29,080 --> 01:17:34,519
Speaker 1: having sex, I know, and we are. I'm just scared

1451
01:17:34,600 --> 01:17:40,599
Speaker 1: to do it during certain time. I'm just scared. It's

1452
01:17:40,680 --> 01:17:43,280
Speaker 1: it's all fear. I think you should talk to someone

1453
01:17:43,439 --> 01:17:45,800
Speaker 1: to help, because I could talk to you and blew

1454
01:17:45,840 --> 01:17:48,360
Speaker 1: my face on your friends. But I think there's something.

1455
01:17:48,640 --> 01:17:52,360
Speaker 1: I think there's the some kind of PTSD from that

1456
01:17:52,600 --> 01:17:55,639
Speaker 1: has just escalated those other feelings that you've always had.

1457
01:17:55,840 --> 01:17:58,400
Speaker 1: In my opinion, I don't know, what do you think? Yeah,

1458
01:17:58,400 --> 01:18:03,680
Speaker 1: I mean, it's just like anything. You know. It's almost like, uh,

1459
01:18:03,880 --> 01:18:05,799
Speaker 1: when you're a kid and you get advice to your parents,

1460
01:18:05,800 --> 01:18:07,280
Speaker 1: like you don't want to accept it because you're like

1461
01:18:07,439 --> 01:18:09,360
Speaker 1: his mom, dad, But if a friend or someone else

1462
01:18:09,360 --> 01:18:11,880
Speaker 1: says the same thing, you're like, Okay. It's kind of

1463
01:18:11,880 --> 01:18:13,280
Speaker 1: the same with this kind of stuff you hear from

1464
01:18:13,280 --> 01:18:14,880
Speaker 1: your friends because you feel like they have to say

1465
01:18:14,920 --> 01:18:16,960
Speaker 1: something make you feel better, or if you go to

1466
01:18:17,000 --> 01:18:20,639
Speaker 1: a third party it's like okay, No, I mean I know,

1467
01:18:20,760 --> 01:18:25,200
Speaker 1: I'm like I'm doing it to myself, you know, like

1468
01:18:25,320 --> 01:18:29,880
Speaker 1: I'm letting it marinate in my mind and control, which

1469
01:18:29,920 --> 01:18:32,680
Speaker 1: is why I'm happy to try and do things to

1470
01:18:32,680 --> 01:18:36,880
Speaker 1: where it's not so controlling. Well, I think people should

1471
01:18:36,920 --> 01:18:41,120
Speaker 1: check out The net Chicks so they can at least

1472
01:18:41,120 --> 01:18:44,360
Speaker 1: at least follow on Instagram with the Instagram Sarah. Um,

1473
01:18:44,520 --> 01:18:47,680
Speaker 1: the nut Chicks on Instagram because we're updating. Yeah, there

1474
01:18:47,680 --> 01:18:51,160
Speaker 1: will be. If you're looking for miscarriage talk or for

1475
01:18:51,200 --> 01:18:52,880
Speaker 1: me to crop, it's not going to happen on the

1476
01:18:52,960 --> 01:18:56,280
Speaker 1: Nut Chicks. It'll happen here on Wine Down, It'll happen here.

1477
01:18:56,280 --> 01:18:57,760
Speaker 1: And the Nut Chicks is where I go, and I

1478
01:18:57,800 --> 01:19:02,080
Speaker 1: pretend like nothing exists, Nothing else exists except for um,

1479
01:19:02,840 --> 01:19:06,200
Speaker 1: what I'm watching on Netflix and Bravo perfect. I love it, Sarah,

1480
01:19:06,280 --> 01:19:10,519
Speaker 1: and I love you and um you know what. Um Yeah,

1481
01:19:10,600 --> 01:19:13,200
Speaker 1: we just everyone here at wind loves you. I love

1482
01:19:13,240 --> 01:19:15,240
Speaker 1: you guys. Everyone's just in it right now. And I

1483
01:19:15,280 --> 01:19:17,920
Speaker 1: think I think that the takeaway for this episode is

1484
01:19:17,960 --> 01:19:22,280
Speaker 1: that nothing is perfect. We're all in this season together

1485
01:19:22,360 --> 01:19:24,000
Speaker 1: and we're all going to get through it together. So

1486
01:19:24,080 --> 01:19:28,040
Speaker 1: let's and it will get better whatever it is. Yeah,

1487
01:19:28,400 --> 01:19:32,760
Speaker 1: hide the monitor, go outside, start a podcast, whatever. We'll

1488
01:19:32,800 --> 01:19:37,040
Speaker 1: make you happy and fulfilled and takes you away. But

1489
01:19:37,160 --> 01:19:40,040
Speaker 1: also just know that there's people struggling with you. You're

1490
01:19:40,080 --> 01:19:44,240
Speaker 1: not alone. Amen, all right, See you all next week,

1491
01:19:44,320 --> 01:19:44,800
Speaker 1: hie guys,