Speaker 1: What's up family, It's your girl to mek A D.
Speaker 1: Mallory and it's your boy, my son General, and we
Speaker 1: are your host of street politicians, the place with the
Speaker 1: streets and six meet. What's going on? My son Lennon
Speaker 1: the General. We all hear, what's going on? How you
Speaker 1: feel it? All is well? All is well? You know,
Speaker 1: we are turning this episode around quickly. We would have
Speaker 1: taped last week, UM, but we actually were spending the
Speaker 1: weekend with Sabrina Fulton UM and Tracy Martin and Javars Fulton,
Speaker 1: the family of Trayvon Martin. It was ten years this
Speaker 1: weekend since trayvonn was killed, you know, And I had
Speaker 1: no idea that he was killed around his birthday. That
Speaker 1: somehow escaped me for the last ten years. It just
Speaker 1: occurred to me or I just figured that out this
Speaker 1: weekend because it was a birthday celebration and also the
Speaker 1: commemoration of ten years since since he was murdered. And
Speaker 1: I was just like wow, I mean, I already I
Speaker 1: knew from being with Sabrina and Tracy and Javaris for
Speaker 1: so for these last ten years, and I'm you know,
Speaker 1: as you know, we're very close to them, and you know,
Speaker 1: I've worked with Sabrina for a long time. I knew
Speaker 1: that there was pain. Of course there's pain. I've watched
Speaker 1: them go through excruciating pain. But to know that it
Speaker 1: was also Trayvon's birthday in the same time period just intensifies,
Speaker 1: you know, even more the struggle that they've been through,
Speaker 1: that they can't even celebrate his birthday without also having
Speaker 1: to consider what happened to him, um, you know that night.
Speaker 1: So it's just that made it even worse for me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's you know, like you said, I didn't even realize that.
Speaker 1: Actually I didn't realize that to just now, like you know,
Speaker 1: I literally when you said that, I'm like, damn, it
Speaker 1: is been you know I was. I was really just
Speaker 1: focused on the celebration of his birthday and then realizing
Speaker 1: it's been ten years since he's been going Oldso you know,
Speaker 1: excuse me, that's like that has to be traumatic. You know.
Speaker 1: I've seen as we were at the um the dinner,
Speaker 1: you know, seeing them on stage, and Javarus got a
Speaker 1: little choked up, you know, just so, and I watched
Speaker 1: Sabrina just hold it together and at times I see
Speaker 1: how you know, wiping back tears and holding back tears,
Speaker 1: you know, and just to try to imagine that, you know,
Speaker 1: having you know, having three sons and just just I
Speaker 1: can't even imagine that feeling. So I just want to
Speaker 1: send out my love as always to the you know,
Speaker 1: the Martin and the and the Fulton family, you know,
Speaker 1: and just tell him that we're here with you, man,
Speaker 1: and ten years and they still standing. That was one
Speaker 1: of the things they still standing still is handling herself
Speaker 1: with such grace and honor, and she's still fighting for
Speaker 1: justice for a son, and still giving refuge to other
Speaker 1: mothers who've lost their children and giving them strength and
Speaker 1: lending her strength. You know, I just I have to
Speaker 1: commend to man I've just never seen. Also have to
Speaker 1: come in you know, Tracy, just him being a father
Speaker 1: and me being a father knowing how much it hurts is.
Speaker 1: You know, he was telling a story you know, about
Speaker 1: the you know, days before Trey Vonnes was born, and
Speaker 1: it was kind of hilarious just looking at the different
Speaker 1: personalities and him just giving that story and just knowing
Speaker 1: that that was that was something for him, you know,
Speaker 1: in the way that he grieves, in the way he
Speaker 1: expresses itself. You know, it's like a proud father. I
Speaker 1: just want to yeah, this is I'm proud of my kids,
Speaker 1: and I'm always there for my kids, you know. And
Speaker 1: he's one of those those black men that dispel that
Speaker 1: matter their narratives. You know about the absentee father and
Speaker 1: the single mother even though they're not together, but you
Speaker 1: can tell that he was very present and prevalent. Oh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: well you know, and I think I'm just gonna call
Speaker 1: it out because um, I think it needs to be
Speaker 1: said that excuse me. Over time. You know, mothers, we
Speaker 1: always are going to celebrate mothers. And Sabrina works really
Speaker 1: hard to keep Trayvon's name alive. Tracy has to work,
Speaker 1: he has, you know, his job, he has his family,
Speaker 1: he has things that he also has to do every
Speaker 1: day as a man, right and so sometimes he's out
Speaker 1: of sight because he's at work. He can't travel around
Speaker 1: the country speaking different places and showing up for all
Speaker 1: the mothers. Sabrina shows up for all the mothers all
Speaker 1: the time. Anyone that every time I'm work in with
Speaker 1: the family and I called Sabrina and asked her can
Speaker 1: she come? She shows up all the time, and she
Speaker 1: builds her own relationship with these mothers. We go to
Speaker 1: her Circle of Mothers event every year where she hosts
Speaker 1: up Now it's growing beyond a hundred mothers around the
Speaker 1: country who've lost their children either to gun violence, senseless
Speaker 1: senseless violence, and uh certainly police um trauma. And so
Speaker 1: people are you know, attracted to Sabrina. I mean she
Speaker 1: she Sabrina, Sabrina strong, you know she is and and
Speaker 1: I guess we keep saying she's strong, and she probably
Speaker 1: feels like she doesn't want to be strong all the time,
Speaker 1: but she is. And she's really a star wars in
Speaker 1: this movement. UM. And so what happens is that Tracy
Speaker 1: is often sort of missing from the conversation where people
Speaker 1: will talk about oh, you know, and and Sabrina this
Speaker 1: and the mom and the mom. And I think that
Speaker 1: Tracy speaking in the way that he did, even though
Speaker 1: he told old the story that Sabrina probably kicked his
Speaker 1: butt for later, but nonetheless the fact that he spoke
Speaker 1: about how much he loved his son, how he kissed
Speaker 1: his boy, he kisses his boys, and encouraging men to
Speaker 1: be closer to their sons. Now that he's coming out
Speaker 1: of his shell and he's speaking I think that's important
Speaker 1: because people need to know that, while, like you said,
Speaker 1: they may not have been in the same household, there
Speaker 1: was a mother and father who deeply loved Trayvonne, and
Speaker 1: in fact, Trey vonn was with his father at his
Speaker 1: father's house at the time that he was murdered. Um
Speaker 1: And so you know, I'm I'm committed to that. I
Speaker 1: always have had great respect to Tracy. But I think
Speaker 1: that when we talk about these families and these situations
Speaker 1: that happened, we cannot forget the father's you know, you
Speaker 1: think about uh Ahmad Augury. While yes, every day, of
Speaker 1: course we're gonna celebrate and make sure that we uplift
Speaker 1: Wanda Cooper because that is a mod's mom who was
Speaker 1: there and shepherding him through life, but his father was
Speaker 1: also in court. He was in court all the time.
Speaker 1: You know, he was he and he wasn't a man
Speaker 1: of many words, but he did at times say, you know,
Speaker 1: I want justice for my son. And so you know,
Speaker 1: we have to make sure that we we don't erase
Speaker 1: the narrative or erase the fathers of these folks who
Speaker 1: have been lost to violence from this situation. Now, there
Speaker 1: are other stories where fathers weren't present, and then all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, when there's either money on the table
Speaker 1: and or fame, they show up. And I think the
Speaker 1: truth just has to be told. Um. But but but
Speaker 1: how we make sure that we focus our attention on um,
Speaker 1: the truth of what is good rather than always looking
Speaker 1: at what is negative. Um, I think it is really important.
Speaker 1: So that's what for black his three months. I think
Speaker 1: we need to highlight black fathers. High father we were matter,
Speaker 1: Black father's, mack fathers mattered, daddish. Shout out to all
Speaker 1: of the fathers that you know organizations and so many
Speaker 1: organizations where they have you know, fathers that are doing
Speaker 1: big things. Shout out to my brother Marcus, who is
Speaker 1: part of an organization with fathers. Another black father, James Bond,
Speaker 1: to our resident brand experts. Husband James Bond started his
Speaker 1: organization Dadis, which focused on black fathers. So just salute
Speaker 1: to all all of us black fathers out there that
Speaker 1: represent properly. Yes, you know the dads. It's the dad's
Speaker 1: for me, So let me see what else is going
Speaker 1: on there. So much I wrote a bunch of notes.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't think we can um even go
Speaker 1: forward in a show without talking about a mere lock. Um,
Speaker 1: you know, this is a situation where, yet again, no
Speaker 1: not warrants have are proven to be extremely dangerous, especially
Speaker 1: when in the hands of and institution, because policing in
Speaker 1: America is an institution, but it is an institution that
Speaker 1: unfortunately access terrorists in our communities at times. Um, the
Speaker 1: way in which no knock warrants are executed in the
Speaker 1: black community is extremely dangerous. And the reason why we
Speaker 1: want to see the George Floyd Justice and Policing Act
Speaker 1: past is because one of the pieces within the legislative
Speaker 1: bill is to ban no knock warrants. So when people
Speaker 1: argue with us, oh, you know, who cares about voting,
Speaker 1: who cares about this administration? Who cares about this? That?
Speaker 1: And the third the reason why we're going so hard
Speaker 1: is because we know that there are pieces of legislation
Speaker 1: out there that it passed. Not to say that it
Speaker 1: will stop them from killing us, but it will at
Speaker 1: least make it a crime. Right now, it's not even
Speaker 1: a crime to kick down somebody's door in a state
Speaker 1: where they can have a firearm, where they actually can
Speaker 1: have where it is legal to get a firearm, that
Speaker 1: actually it is legal in every state to have a firearm,
Speaker 1: but there are certain states where the protection of your
Speaker 1: home um right. But I think, I think, I think
Speaker 1: a mere lock was licensed to carry. I believe he
Speaker 1: was licensed to carry. Um if he's not. If he wasn't,
Speaker 1: I'm sure our our viewers and listeners will correct me.
Speaker 1: But I believe I heard somewhere that he was licensed
Speaker 1: to carry. So the reason why we want to get
Speaker 1: rid of no knock warrants, such as what happened the
Speaker 1: work that happened in Kentucky where our sister Coulture Iran
Speaker 1: was instrumental in getting no knock warrants banned there. The
Speaker 1: reason why that's important is because ultimately the ways in
Speaker 1: which the laws currently exist, it doesn't make sense. It
Speaker 1: doesn't mean for either side. It just doesn't benefit either.
Speaker 1: If you if you if you are officer and you're
Speaker 1: doing your job and you're going there with a known
Speaker 1: knock warrant, you put yourself at risk because someone has
Speaker 1: can legally protect themselves. If they don't know who you
Speaker 1: are and you run into a home, somebody can legally
Speaker 1: shoot you because they trying to protect themselves. It doesn't
Speaker 1: make sense for the individual who has a gun in
Speaker 1: their house and they can legally shoot. And then you
Speaker 1: a police officer and you walk in and you see
Speaker 1: the gun and thinking you have to protect yourself, you
Speaker 1: can of them. So it's it pretty much what it
Speaker 1: does end in bandon On like Lawrence pretty much protects
Speaker 1: everybody and it makes a clear this decisive situation. If
Speaker 1: I if I knock and say open the door, boom,
Speaker 1: we are the police. We acknowledge you acknowledge that the
Speaker 1: police are at the door. We've given you the amount
Speaker 1: of time to let us in, and we have a
Speaker 1: warrant for your arrest, and we've done all of that.
Speaker 1: At that point when the firearm is shown, we've done
Speaker 1: our due diligence. If you still decide that you're gonna
Speaker 1: shoot at the police, no one nat the police. Then
Speaker 1: it's on the opposite siety. The police shoot you after
Speaker 1: you say listen, I got my hands in the air.
Speaker 1: You just have a firearm, this and that. Then they
Speaker 1: held out. It shows clear liability to who and what
Speaker 1: the situation is. Anything else is too much confusion. It's messy.
Speaker 1: It's messy. It's messy. You have people being shot too quick.
Speaker 1: First of all, a mirror was the wrong person. So
Speaker 1: that's a whole other set of circumstances that policing is
Speaker 1: not one hundred percent bulletproof. It's not like sometimes you're
Speaker 1: at the wrong address, sometimes you have the wrong information
Speaker 1: that when when there is a margin of error, it
Speaker 1: can't be coupled with a no knock warrant. It can't
Speaker 1: be you have to get rid of no knock warrant. So,
Speaker 1: as you said, it is very clear and decisive what happened,
Speaker 1: why it happened, and who's responsible if someone dies, and
Speaker 1: so this is common sense. We're not even talking about
Speaker 1: some big theoretical bubble that needs to be broke down,
Speaker 1: and it has to be This is very very clear,
Speaker 1: and this is why we fight for things like the
Speaker 1: George Floyd Justice and Police and Act, which is very
Speaker 1: very bare minimal, very bare minimal legislation that can help
Speaker 1: with this. And of course there are cities around the
Speaker 1: country who have started to introduce no knock warrant bands,
Speaker 1: but that does not work because what happens is that
Speaker 1: we're depending on a local government to make those decisions
Speaker 1: that will be based upon you know, when when when
Speaker 1: one government is in they may stick with it. Then
Speaker 1: a new government comes in in two years four years,
Speaker 1: then they change the rules. That is not what we want.
Speaker 1: We want federal legislation that across the board would protect
Speaker 1: someone like a me a lot. I sat and listened
Speaker 1: to his family speak today on CNN, they did an
Speaker 1: interview these people. It's like it's like groundhog Day. It's
Speaker 1: almost like I'm watching for the last almost thirty years
Speaker 1: of my life, the same ship, the parents sitting down
Speaker 1: telling their story. So, you know, God blessing and a
Speaker 1: mere Lock, his family and his memory. Um, what I
Speaker 1: will say, I bang with the people of Minneapolis because
Speaker 1: they the street. Those people winter spring, summer, fall. They
Speaker 1: are no joke in terms of how they approach getting
Speaker 1: out there and making sure that their voices are heard.
Speaker 1: Shout out to our sister Leslie Redman who is on
Speaker 1: the ground, other sister Tikima. I mean they are out
Speaker 1: there and again once again Minneapolis is showing up. They're
Speaker 1: showing up for a mere Lock, and um, you know,
Speaker 1: we just want to send them my love and make
Speaker 1: sure they know that the people of all around the
Speaker 1: country are with them and with the mere Locks family.
Speaker 1: Definitely we're with them and you know, very very tragic
Speaker 1: situation man. And again we we just want to make
Speaker 1: legislation clear so that we can avoid these situations. You know,
Speaker 1: it's it's it's it's so tiring that we keep losing
Speaker 1: lives the same way. And you know, we have a
Speaker 1: government that for some reason does not want to do
Speaker 1: the right thing, to just save lives and just do
Speaker 1: the right thing. Like what's so hard about doing the
Speaker 1: right thing? They want power? And you see, when you
Speaker 1: are that's what I mean by terrorism, right there are
Speaker 1: people who will hear me say that word and they'll
Speaker 1: be like, oh, you know, how could you say that
Speaker 1: when when you know police office? I know police, So
Speaker 1: they're not terrorists. We think about terrorists. We think about
Speaker 1: people overseas or people domestic terrorists that come here. But terrorism,
Speaker 1: when you just think about what is in that word,
Speaker 1: has a lot to do with people who want power
Speaker 1: and they're willing to take it by any means necessary.
Speaker 1: They don't care who gets hurt in the process. And
Speaker 1: that's what too many police departments, and also people who
Speaker 1: work within police departments, that's what they fight for. They
Speaker 1: fight for the right to basically dominate communities and not
Speaker 1: have checks and balances that will also keep them accountable.
Speaker 1: Uh and and and and and and to speak about that,
Speaker 1: we can go right to the next situation. Tunisia Chappelle here,
Speaker 1: this young woman is now, I'm gonna go with their theory.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go with their theory. And I'm saying this
Speaker 1: as a as a what is the word that I'm
Speaker 1: want to use? It is as it's basically, I'm just
Speaker 1: making sure that people know that I don't know that
Speaker 1: this theory is correct because Tinisia Chappelle never made it
Speaker 1: to court to be tried for the crime that they
Speaker 1: say she committed. Right she was detained in the city
Speaker 1: jail waiting for her to go to court. So she
Speaker 1: would have gone to court and been found guilty of something,
Speaker 1: and then she would have been probably sent to a
Speaker 1: state facility or whatever if she was found guilty, or
Speaker 1: maybe released, and you know, and and have to deal
Speaker 1: with her situation from in a different perspective. But the
Speaker 1: story they tell is that she was a shoplift or
Speaker 1: that she shoplifted this particular day, and that when she
Speaker 1: left the store, a police officer was chasing her. So
Speaker 1: now as she's being chased, I think she went into
Speaker 1: Indiana or something like that, and they say they apprehended
Speaker 1: her and they arrested her. Okay, fine, right, So now
Speaker 1: she's in jail. And again the terrorism is that even
Speaker 1: if you are you are you could have killed somebody,
Speaker 1: which is the worst thing you could do, take someone's life. Right,
Speaker 1: But if you're in prison, there are still rules that
Speaker 1: apply to a person needing medical attention, to how the
Speaker 1: jail should be kept clean, the food being you know,
Speaker 1: humane conditions. That is what it is supposed to be.
Speaker 1: If you watch the footage of what happened to Tunisia Chappelle,
Speaker 1: there is no way on God's green earth that they
Speaker 1: can sit back and say they found no wrongdoing and
Speaker 1: that there would be no charges brought against anybody in
Speaker 1: That's that reason. Now, that's just from the first footage
Speaker 1: that everyone has seen, and we should make sure that
Speaker 1: we play that today. That's the first set of footage.
Speaker 1: But now we move on to the new footage that
Speaker 1: has come out that shows her for hours and hours
Speaker 1: and hours vomiting, begging, begging for help, laying on the
Speaker 1: ground naked the inmates. The inmates were calling saying she
Speaker 1: needs help, some of them huhms. Prison, the no, the
Speaker 1: incarcerated individuals, the other incarcerated individuals, You are right, let
Speaker 1: me correct that they were calling saying she needs help. Now,
Speaker 1: there was some of them that you could hear that
Speaker 1: they were down with with the police. Right in terms
Speaker 1: of the way that they were speaking of her, they
Speaker 1: were mocking her. She went through the most horrible situation
Speaker 1: and over forty eight hours, this woman died. Again. People
Speaker 1: who want their power and dominion over another individual and
Speaker 1: they and they actually they get off on watching us die.
Speaker 1: And it's so sad, it's and it's a two pronged situation,
Speaker 1: right is that? And then there's this belief that because
Speaker 1: you're incarcerated, that you're no longer human, right that whatever
Speaker 1: comes with incarceration, if you die in jail, you shouldn't
Speaker 1: be attended to, you shouldn't get fooled, you should be
Speaker 1: you should be given the worst possible everything, no matter
Speaker 1: what it is. And this is an ideology that people
Speaker 1: have that you know, when you go to jail, if
Speaker 1: you're incarcerated, that you pretty much have lost your humanity,
Speaker 1: you know, and and and it's so crazy. People see
Speaker 1: you as not even a person, as something you know,
Speaker 1: and that's what happens, especially in those facilities, you know,
Speaker 1: those those holding facilities, these are holding facilities. Like you said,
Speaker 1: she she didn't even get her day at court for
Speaker 1: something for you know, a petty crime that she was
Speaker 1: being like she she was she was treated like someone
Speaker 1: who had did the most the most worst things in
Speaker 1: the world and she wasn't even attended to. And then
Speaker 1: there are other you know, prisoners and there who who
Speaker 1: have been dealing with this Stockholm syndrome and and they've
Speaker 1: embraced this lifestyle. You know, there's certain people who were like,
Speaker 1: well you and jail what you think, you know, and
Speaker 1: it's like, no, in jail, I think that I should
Speaker 1: be able to get medical attention. I think I should
Speaker 1: eat food that's not spoiling that I think I should
Speaker 1: have officers told to me like a human being and
Speaker 1: not like trash. And absolutely I'm with you. Um. You know,
Speaker 1: there's new footage of Tunisia coming out, and in fact,
Speaker 1: her family is going to be on our show, um
Speaker 1: and we'll be you know, talking to them about her.
Speaker 1: She has a daughter, her sisters fighting for her. They're
Speaker 1: so tired, they burnt out because it's been going on
Speaker 1: for a while now, and they're just starting to get
Speaker 1: the type of attention that they deserve. So that's another issue. UM.
Speaker 1: And then you know, one of things that I think
Speaker 1: is sort of like the last thing that I have
Speaker 1: on my agenda of news to share today is um
Speaker 1: and maybe I'll make it my thought of the day.
Speaker 1: I had a different thought of the day today, and
Speaker 1: I think we got to talk about it later. And
Speaker 1: the thought of the day that I originally wanted to
Speaker 1: talk about is asking the question when it's okay to
Speaker 1: keep your children away from their parents, mother or father, right.
Speaker 1: I really wanted to get into that in light of
Speaker 1: what's been happening with him and Kanye right, which I'm
Speaker 1: not sure that people are trying to keep him from
Speaker 1: seeing the children, or maybe they are. I don't know
Speaker 1: the facts, but it just brings up in me this
Speaker 1: idea that at some point people may feel like they're
Speaker 1: child's parents is dealing with a mental health issue and
Speaker 1: therefore they feel like they shouldn't have the child around
Speaker 1: the parents. But then there are people who say, hey,
Speaker 1: you already knew that, And it's always I remember my
Speaker 1: mother used to say, it doesn't matter if your daddy's
Speaker 1: on drugs. He could be on the street corner, doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna always make sure, even if it's just a
Speaker 1: few minutes, you see your parents, you know, because that's
Speaker 1: just that that parent needs to or that that child
Speaker 1: needs to see and understand the truth about their parents,
Speaker 1: and they need to have the influence and the love
Speaker 1: that it might only be for a second, right, especially
Speaker 1: if there's some positivity there. But I'm gonna leave that
Speaker 1: for another later in the conversation. On another time. My
Speaker 1: thought of the day today, how do we help people
Speaker 1: understand how serious things are with what is happening across
Speaker 1: this country, because I feel like folks ain't really paying attention.
Speaker 1: It's like our movement, you know, there's always laws, right,
Speaker 1: movements are not gonna be all the same way all
Speaker 1: the time where every day people are in the street,
Speaker 1: and that's not the way movements work. They have laws,
Speaker 1: they have moments that go up and down, and we're
Speaker 1: in not so much a law, but we are in
Speaker 1: a moment where I think folks are so frustrated that
Speaker 1: they've checked out. And then there's another set of individuals
Speaker 1: that as long as they got Trump out of office,
Speaker 1: they've kind of moved on, and so I saw that
Speaker 1: Alabana in Alabama. Just yesterday, the Supreme Court has allowed
Speaker 1: Alabama to go forward with redrawing their congressional masks, which
Speaker 1: will ultimately be a voter suppression method against black folks
Speaker 1: in the state of Alabama. So the Supreme Court has
Speaker 1: agreed that it is okay for them to redraw the mass.
Speaker 1: And I'm just wondering if maybe people are not hearing
Speaker 1: about it, maybe we're not doing good at enough of
Speaker 1: a job telling folks what's happening. But I don't think
Speaker 1: people know that if they keep doing this around the country,
Speaker 1: along with the abortion laws and so many other things
Speaker 1: that's happening in New York, bringing back stopping frisk, we're
Speaker 1: gonna be living. I don't even know what kind of
Speaker 1: country this is going to be. It's already bad, but
Speaker 1: we're quickly headed towards this country being a place that
Speaker 1: is unlivable literally, And I'm I just I don't know
Speaker 1: what people are focused on. But sometimes I feel like,
Speaker 1: wake up, wake up. I think I think there's I
Speaker 1: think there's a level of jaded nous. I think there's
Speaker 1: a level of misdirection yeah, misinformation, misinformation. There's so many
Speaker 1: different elements that we deal with. Right we were in
Speaker 1: a pandemic to where people are so focused on COVID
Speaker 1: or what it is, what it's not. You know that
Speaker 1: that has geared, you know, the energy in the mind
Speaker 1: state away from things. And then there are people who
Speaker 1: just don't even believe in government. Right. I think people
Speaker 1: have lost faith in the system in general, and people
Speaker 1: are trying to figure out, how do I navigate outside
Speaker 1: of that and you know and do different things because
Speaker 1: this system right here is just not for me. So
Speaker 1: it's not really something I want to focus on. Right there.
Speaker 1: People are saying, I'm not voting anyway, so how our
Speaker 1: cave if they suppress my votes? Right, And so there's
Speaker 1: so many different elements that there's not one thing. There's
Speaker 1: so many different things that's putting us to sleep. People
Speaker 1: are becoming numb to seeing us get killed, numb to
Speaker 1: seeing injustice that happened with us. It's just like another
Speaker 1: another body that's for them. It's another situation. You know,
Speaker 1: we have an influx and the overflux of violence in
Speaker 1: our communities right now where people are just killing. So
Speaker 1: it's so many different things like that's why you look
Speaker 1: at suicide at a high rate. Like every day we're
Speaker 1: seeing people who we think have beautiful lives, who are
Speaker 1: you know, wealthy or well to do, are just taking
Speaker 1: their life because there's so much pain and trauma that
Speaker 1: people are dealing. I pride myself on my strength, right,
Speaker 1: I pride myself on I've been incarcerated setting seals who
Speaker 1: crimes I didn't do. I've been through poverty, I've been
Speaker 1: through drugs, I've been through just about everything, and I
Speaker 1: believe that I have a level of resilience and strength
Speaker 1: that the average person doesn't have. So when I when
Speaker 1: I realized that it's times that in these times that
Speaker 1: I feel overwhelmed. You know, I never think I've never
Speaker 1: thought about taking my life. I never thought of But
Speaker 1: there are times where I feel overwhelmed, like it's just
Speaker 1: so many different elements in things, and I don't even
Speaker 1: know what to attack. I don't know if this one
Speaker 1: is worth it, I don't know all these things. If
Speaker 1: I know that I feel like that, I know that
Speaker 1: the average person is so overwhelmed, right, so that they
Speaker 1: can't even see how to focus on that. Right, So
Speaker 1: it's I think that's What our job is to do
Speaker 1: is to understand that people don't even know how to
Speaker 1: attack it. They don't They they're immediate issues and their
Speaker 1: home that they're dealing with at that time, and their
Speaker 1: minds supersedes those things, even though we know in the
Speaker 1: next five or ten years that those things are gonna
Speaker 1: come to your house. They're gonna knock on the door.
Speaker 1: They're gonna affect their job, They're gonna everything that you have.
Speaker 1: You're like, what, how much you gotta pay? I can't
Speaker 1: even afford to live here? No more? What you can't
Speaker 1: do this? That's a legal now here. We come talking
Speaker 1: about Alabama voting this and that. They're like, man, I
Speaker 1: don't have time but those things. But those things are
Speaker 1: going to affect them. It's gonna affect them so much
Speaker 1: that the checks is gonna be cut. You know, where
Speaker 1: they where they could go, it's gonna be cut. Travel
Speaker 1: is gonna be cut. The way they are, it's all
Speaker 1: beta testing, right like they're they're passing it here, then
Speaker 1: they're gonna work on here. I saw that forty black
Speaker 1: Republicans are running for office in different places around the country,
Speaker 1: and I started saying, okay, so white maybe one of
Speaker 1: these black Republicans. I started looking in there, like, what
Speaker 1: what are they? What is their ideology? Right? How would
Speaker 1: they govern? Everything? Weird for there again, Yeah, that's the strategy.
Speaker 1: You you you you painted a certain way. You know,
Speaker 1: you don't change the ideology, don't change what you believe.
Speaker 1: You just color it away so that they we have
Speaker 1: identity politics and we deal with it. But the difference
Speaker 1: is that and you know, and it's not this is
Speaker 1: that's not new because they've done that, they did that
Speaker 1: last cycle. Right. The differences is that white supremacy and
Speaker 1: racism is so prevalent in America that the white people
Speaker 1: ain't voting for you over their people. They're just not
Speaker 1: gonna do it. You know what I'm saying. They vote
Speaker 1: for you over if it's too if it's a white
Speaker 1: person running against the black person for the seat, the
Speaker 1: white person going in, they're just not more more more
Speaker 1: often than not, less there's a lineage and you connected
Speaker 1: to somebody that's within that space, they're just not voting.
Speaker 1: It's more. It's more Daniel, camera's we gotta go do
Speaker 1: our interview because I think our guests have joined. There'll
Speaker 1: be more Daniel Cameron's in office around the nation, So listen,
Speaker 1: it's the love time. Everybody's in love for Valentine's UM Day,
Speaker 1: and last year, Realmy and Pat Poo's were one of
Speaker 1: the like highest rated episodes that we had. And it's funny.
Speaker 1: What I appreciate about Street Politician listeners and viewers is
Speaker 1: that they really care more so about topics than they
Speaker 1: do celebrities. We always said, yes, we have celebrity friends,
Speaker 1: We're gonna have them on, but we want to focus
Speaker 1: on everybody, our regular friends, people whoever, whoever we have
Speaker 1: that we know it's out there doing good work. And
Speaker 1: in this particular episode, our people really were struck by
Speaker 1: Remy and papoos the story. Of course, they are celebrities,
Speaker 1: but in addition to that, I think it is the
Speaker 1: way in which people know Pappoo's has struggled with and
Speaker 1: worked with and been there for Remy and vice versa
Speaker 1: and so um people everybody loved the episode, they watched it,
Speaker 1: and I think today we want to replay it because
Speaker 1: when we look at them, in many ways, they are
Speaker 1: sort of like a traditional marriage, traditional relationship, traditional love
Speaker 1: and um and I love, I Love, I Love Remy
Speaker 1: and Papoos is love. They've been through a lot, so
Speaker 1: that may not be traditional, but in terms of the
Speaker 1: the the idea of them being married and what they're doing, Um,
Speaker 1: you know, I think that most of us, especially us girls,
Speaker 1: who have the dream of what it would look like
Speaker 1: to be in a strong marriage. They are two individuals that, um,
Speaker 1: you know that that we want to model. And so
Speaker 1: I think we should go back and replay it and
Speaker 1: and and let folks be reminded of this great talk
Speaker 1: that we had with Remy and Pat Poo's for Balantine's.
Speaker 1: Black love means so many, so many different things. It
Speaker 1: tastes on so many meanings, but um, it's about first
Speaker 1: and foremost. I'm gonna just say, black out old negativity
Speaker 1: and show love. Um. They write this narrative that we
Speaker 1: can't have a strong family foundation, and that's not really true.
Speaker 1: You know, a lot of the pictures that are painted
Speaker 1: through movies and do music, do different things. They talk
Speaker 1: about the hardships of the ghetto, but there are also
Speaker 1: some good times growing up and you know, being very
Speaker 1: family orientated and just showing that strong family foundation, that unity,
Speaker 1: you know, being loyal to your family. And black love
Speaker 1: it really does exist. So to me, black love just
Speaker 1: means loyalty, you know, being faithful and um, showing and
Speaker 1: love to your to your love most is a major
Speaker 1: part of it to me, because you know, it's easy
Speaker 1: to love somebody and to be there for them and
Speaker 1: being part of it when everything is great and everything
Speaker 1: is fine, and you know, unfortunately, you know when it
Speaker 1: comes to the black family dynamic, that there seems to
Speaker 1: be way more hardships and our structure than than other
Speaker 1: um and other households. And we are able to endure that,
Speaker 1: whether incarceration, UM, death, unemployment, you know, poverty, UM, single
Speaker 1: family homes. All of these things that we've been has
Speaker 1: been pretty much thrown at us and we've been born
Speaker 1: into and we're still here and and just to to
Speaker 1: thrive and and and love and be happy and have
Speaker 1: good times like all the stuff we've been through. We
Speaker 1: think we as a people who just walk around oppressed
Speaker 1: all day. I'm here, what's going on, Queen queens? You're
Speaker 1: feeling good today? Yes, man, thank you for coming. You know,
Speaker 1: Derek has been you know, one of my inspirations. You know,
Speaker 1: for a while. Man, your couple, your relationship is dope,
Speaker 1: you know, it's not traditional, but it's just definitely dope, man.
Speaker 1: You know, it's definitely not traditional. So we we're doing
Speaker 1: this this um Valentine's Day episode, and we last year
Speaker 1: we did Remy and pet Poods was a condition, you know,
Speaker 1: conventional relationship and everybody loves it. But I liked y'all
Speaker 1: done there, you know, and I wanted y'all to give us,
Speaker 1: you know, some ideologies of how y'all move forward, what
Speaker 1: you're thinking, the pros, the cons, the benefits, all the
Speaker 1: things in your relationship. So you know, we get everybody
Speaker 1: gets to see different relationships because we live in an
Speaker 1: era which there's so many different types and cons of relationships.
Speaker 1: You know. You know, one of the things for me,
Speaker 1: Um is that, you know, I was, first of all,
Speaker 1: I was watching the shy Um over the weekend, just
Speaker 1: trying to catch up. And there's this part where I
Speaker 1: don't I forget his name because I don't really know
Speaker 1: all the character's names, but it's like he owns the restaurant.
Speaker 1: Now his uncle left the restaurant, and he's married to
Speaker 1: another young lady, and you know, he keeps on getting
Speaker 1: into trouble cheating. Here this happened. He messed around with
Speaker 1: this girl. This that in the third and so the
Speaker 1: woman is upset about the situation and how he keeps
Speaker 1: messing up, and she says to him, so she's talking
Speaker 1: to a friend. She's telling actually a gay couple that
Speaker 1: are her friends, about the issues with fidelity infidelity that
Speaker 1: they're having in their marriage. And the couple says to her, well,
Speaker 1: the only way we've been able to maintain being together
Speaker 1: is that we have sort of like an open relationship
Speaker 1: where we know who the other individuals maybe that are,
Speaker 1: you know, being introduced into our life. And she she
Speaker 1: looked at him and she said, she said, oh, is
Speaker 1: that really? Like does that work for you? And to
Speaker 1: see us? So she decides that she's gonna have an
Speaker 1: open relationship with her husband, and so she and says
Speaker 1: this to him, and he's like, really, you know, okay, cool.
Speaker 1: So they agreed that they're going to do this, and
Speaker 1: then of course he at that point starts having sex
Speaker 1: with another woman and doesn't want to do it. He
Speaker 1: doesn't feel comfortable because now he's like he just exactly
Speaker 1: you see, Chelsea's already laughing because she already know he's
Speaker 1: he's He's all, he's uncomfortable, he ain't feeling it. But
Speaker 1: this is what you wanted the other day when you
Speaker 1: was out with Trixie behind the scenes. Now that I'm
Speaker 1: telling you that, I'm open to us having this relationship
Speaker 1: if you don't want it. So I'm trying to figure
Speaker 1: out because I'm a single woman who's trying to figure
Speaker 1: out what I'm doing here. Okay, so I'm trying to
Speaker 1: figure out what happened. You was with it, now you're not.
Speaker 1: Chelsea looked like she got something to say. Just from experience.
Speaker 1: I really think it's a psychological thing. I honestly do
Speaker 1: because us I know me and Derek have that same situation.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't necessarily say we have an open relationship, but
Speaker 1: I am what you call too cool sort of speak.
Speaker 1: So I like transparency. I like honestly I genuinely accept
Speaker 1: him for who he is. I know he's a man
Speaker 1: who has, you know, a high stage drive. So it's
Speaker 1: like day, as long as you tell me, let me
Speaker 1: know what's going on. Like, I'm cool, and I genuinely
Speaker 1: am attracted to women myself, So of course, if I
Speaker 1: you know, I think she looked good, then you know
Speaker 1: we could tag team or do our broth thing and
Speaker 1: you know, just let that be another experience that we
Speaker 1: have to talk about at a later date. But I
Speaker 1: noticed him he does the same thing. He's not interested.
Speaker 1: I mean, he has his moments, but it's it's usually
Speaker 1: when I bring it to the table. He's never had
Speaker 1: a situation to where it's like they I want to
Speaker 1: go out. And I'll still tell him like, day, you know,
Speaker 1: if you ever want to, cause like we're going through
Speaker 1: a whole I v of journey and so our sex
Speaker 1: been kind of on the you know, on the shelf lately,
Speaker 1: and so I'll be telling him like they let me
Speaker 1: know if you ever want me to bring a bitch
Speaker 1: in and get you right, you know, I got you
Speaker 1: to stay the word and it's done, and he's like,
Speaker 1: I want you. And it's just like, let me know
Speaker 1: from a male perspective, and I think it is psych
Speaker 1: a logical uh. I think men do have needs that
Speaker 1: they often step outside of the relationship forward after a while.
Speaker 1: Either it's like it becomes greed and once you get
Speaker 1: agreed and you can acknowledge that, I think you could
Speaker 1: tailor it way better when you know, like all right, bro,
Speaker 1: you don't. It's not really like it's not like you're
Speaker 1: lacking something at home. You just like the chase. You
Speaker 1: like the the suspense of doing something you know you
Speaker 1: ain't got no business doing. So for me, like, I'm not, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it don't interest me, Like what like I mean, we've
Speaker 1: had two girlfriends, well one of them don't count but us,
Speaker 1: so basically one don't count. But we've had a real
Speaker 1: living girlfriend. And yeah, I don't know if it wasn't
Speaker 1: like the sexiness that social media and the world el gives.
Speaker 1: Not really that. And I know for me, like I've
Speaker 1: always been vocal at I'm not. I don't even want
Speaker 1: to make myself emotionally available for another woman. I'm just
Speaker 1: to be honest, I'm here for the fun. I'll teach them,
Speaker 1: I'll build with him, I'll invest in them at it.
Speaker 1: But I'm not Like the way I worked on myself
Speaker 1: for her, I'm not doing that for nobody else in
Speaker 1: this lifetime. Just it took a long time and I'm
Speaker 1: still working on style. I go to therapy and off
Speaker 1: this stuff. I'm not doing that for another woman. So yeah,
Speaker 1: like we can have fun, but for me, to me
Speaker 1: like being emotionally responsible. No, So for me, it just
Speaker 1: served me best, like to just kind of sit at
Speaker 1: home and like do my home thing because I'm a
Speaker 1: busy man anyway, and I don't have time to be
Speaker 1: juggling all those responsibilities, personalities and whatnot. Mm hmmm. So basically,
Speaker 1: based on what you're saying, it seems like she pretty
Speaker 1: much invites and you just get the benefits of the situation.
Speaker 1: That's like just being real because most people look at
Speaker 1: it opposite. She she introduced that element to our relationship
Speaker 1: because she likes women. She felt like it would be
Speaker 1: unfair for her to be able to step out and
Speaker 1: have a ball with a young lady and I just like,
Speaker 1: I gotta sit in the other room. But yeah, bro,
Speaker 1: I've had my stant with you know, three songs and
Speaker 1: all that good stuff years ago, and it's it's still
Speaker 1: didn't incite me. Back then. It was just like, oh,
Speaker 1: like this look cool on on the internet and what
Speaker 1: people say, but it really ain't all that. So the
Speaker 1: emotional side, see, that's where the problem comes in for me.
Speaker 1: The reason why all of this is even of interest
Speaker 1: to me is because I have a lot of male
Speaker 1: friends that I'm around all the time and there and
Speaker 1: the conversation because that none of them are dating me.
Speaker 1: They're honest. They're very brutally honest with me, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: you know, the cool sister and you're laughing. But they
Speaker 1: tell me everything, and I don't really want to hear it,
Speaker 1: you know, because I take it real personal when I
Speaker 1: hear them saying certain things. But one of the common
Speaker 1: threads is that a lot of our a lot of
Speaker 1: my brothers, kind of feel like we as women don't
Speaker 1: really understand men's needs and why they do things that
Speaker 1: they do. And then you know, I'm always on them
Speaker 1: about the lies, like why do you lie? Why do you?
Speaker 1: And they and they always say because we as women
Speaker 1: were not really open to the truth. So as I
Speaker 1: try to navigate how I'm going to land in a relationship,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to figure out how do I be my
Speaker 1: best me to make sure that my husband doesn't feel
Speaker 1: he has to go out and you know, lie and
Speaker 1: sneak and do whatever. But then what if I also
Speaker 1: don't want to share? Mhm. So yeah, I'm I'm sure
Speaker 1: I beg got to answer. I got one too, So
Speaker 1: I would say, from a man's perspective, The biggest thing
Speaker 1: that made me feel secure with her is we overcommunicated,
Speaker 1: like in the very begating our relationship, so like I
Speaker 1: was able to disclose, like this is a real thing,
Speaker 1: and I dare anybody to try. But we we came
Speaker 1: up with a game in Philly one day and we
Speaker 1: was like, let's tell each other stuff that we said
Speaker 1: we was gonna take it to the grave. And that
Speaker 1: was like one of the most biggest build trust building
Speaker 1: conversations I've ever had in my life because she disclosed
Speaker 1: things to me that I know, like I know she
Speaker 1: won't tell anybody. I know her character, she wouldn't even
Speaker 1: want people to know these things I did too, So
Speaker 1: that built the trust off top, Like alright, cool, I
Speaker 1: got somebody that I can actually like beat myself because
Speaker 1: I feel like most men lie to avoid isolation, to
Speaker 1: avoid ridicule, and to avoid disappointing their partner. But when
Speaker 1: you're dealing with somebody who like they're like, the biggest
Speaker 1: mistake I think women make is they project their version
Speaker 1: of happiness on what a man's happiness should be. Like
Speaker 1: it's like he'll say what he wants, but then she'll
Speaker 1: debate it and be like with Noll instead of just
Speaker 1: being like, oh, I respect that, that's you, that's your thing,
Speaker 1: that's your world. Let me see if our words can intertwine.
Speaker 1: Most people want to tell you what your version of
Speaker 1: happiness should be in their opinion. So I know that's
Speaker 1: what made me trust her off the up more than
Speaker 1: I ever trusted anybody in life, any woman in life,
Speaker 1: because I was just like, damn, like I really told
Speaker 1: her something that I know anybody else would ran from
Speaker 1: anybody else with a judge that isolated, a ridicule, or
Speaker 1: I'm able to say, I'm able to share like my
Speaker 1: true desires and things that I'm into, things that piqued
Speaker 1: my interests, and like, I remember one thing I shared
Speaker 1: with her that I like never share with anybody else
Speaker 1: in life, and then she took me probably like a
Speaker 1: couple of months later to actually like live out that
Speaker 1: thing in which I shared. So I knew then like
Speaker 1: I had somebody that not only would hear me out,
Speaker 1: but would like hold my hand and be like, we're
Speaker 1: partners in this ship. So if you win, if you're
Speaker 1: in it, and that's what you win, I'm with it too,
Speaker 1: and we're gonna take your head on. So a lot
Speaker 1: of people don't walk into their relationships as friends, and
Speaker 1: they don't be their true self. They're not able to
Speaker 1: have real conversation with their partners, like out of fear,
Speaker 1: you know. So people are mainly first beginning of relationships
Speaker 1: are dating everybody's representative, saying y'all want this, I want you,
Speaker 1: and I just want this and that, and I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be the best version. I'm trying to be this person
Speaker 1: you need me to be. And then after a while
Speaker 1: you start realizing, who don't that's not really who I am.
Speaker 1: You know, I want you, I'm trying to be that
Speaker 1: for you, but that's not really who I am. So
Speaker 1: when you start sharing away those pieces, then you start
Speaker 1: realizing what you don't even really like me, and you
Speaker 1: just like what you think I could be or you
Speaker 1: thought I was, but you don't even really like me,
Speaker 1: you know. So we've even had that phase where we
Speaker 1: had to like hit reset because we fell so in
Speaker 1: love with the perfectionists of one another that one the
Speaker 1: false head. We was like, ah, but I remember him
Speaker 1: saying that, like you love the parts of me that
Speaker 1: like you love basically like you love the highs. But
Speaker 1: then I came to the realization like if I'm rocking
Speaker 1: with you and we're really on something to the end
Speaker 1: of time ship, i may not love those other parts,
Speaker 1: but I'm gonna learn how to pivot with them. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna learn how to adjust, and I'm gonna learn how
Speaker 1: to adjust myself to deal with you when you and
Speaker 1: your lord extremely and not just love you for the hiring.
Speaker 1: And one of the thing I want to ask you
Speaker 1: before she goes. When people sign on for relationships, they
Speaker 1: generally got to ask themselves, can you wear twelve different hats?
Speaker 1: Because people want you to be in a monogamous and
Speaker 1: the committed relationship, but they're really not. They really they
Speaker 1: really don't even have it in them to evolve or
Speaker 1: move on a fly because your mind'swit or your mood change,
Speaker 1: or you're on something new. So I know, like for
Speaker 1: her life, she really and sometimes it's good and bad,
Speaker 1: but she really do have like seven personalities. So like
Speaker 1: some days she's gonna be my nurturer, She's gonna be
Speaker 1: in the garden. The other day I want to like
Speaker 1: beat up my employees for me because she's like, oh,
Speaker 1: they tried you. I don't like that. Other days she
Speaker 1: coaching me on being a better dad. Other days it's threesomes.
Speaker 1: She she used to dance, so she's stripping from me
Speaker 1: running around the room dancing. And then some days we're
Speaker 1: just on our old people stuff and we're watching We've
Speaker 1: been watching old Ozark and I'm rubbing her belly, you know,
Speaker 1: in preparation for this baby that's coming. So people really
Speaker 1: got to ask themselves when you want somebody to stick
Speaker 1: with just you, do you even have it in you
Speaker 1: to adjust to their movements and their pivots through our life?
Speaker 1: Because who you were to them in December may not
Speaker 1: be what they need in February to live their best
Speaker 1: life and be a great partner. And I think a
Speaker 1: lot of times to be selfish or people be unrealistic life.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, baby, just just count on me. I'm everything
Speaker 1: you need, alright. Cool. I might go through a mid
Speaker 1: life crisis at thirty eight. Are you willing to take
Speaker 1: that on and hold my hand through that and adjust
Speaker 1: to who I need you to be for the age
Speaker 1: of thirty eight? Go ahead? Yeah, No, I was just
Speaker 1: gonna stay At the end of the day. It just
Speaker 1: boils down to being realistic and being willing to accept
Speaker 1: somebody for who they genuinely are instead of who you
Speaker 1: want them to be. Yeah, because I feel like a
Speaker 1: lot of people go in relationships with their own perception
Speaker 1: of how they want things to be, which is cool,
Speaker 1: but that's not realistic because you're human, you're one way
Speaker 1: and you're growing. This person that you're gonna share your
Speaker 1: life with is a human their their own way, and
Speaker 1: they're grown as well. We're all humans having a human experience.
Speaker 1: It's for the first time. We're gonna make mistakes, we're
Speaker 1: gonna learn new things about ourselves. We're gonna grow, we're
Speaker 1: gonna change. And it's like if you're not growing or
Speaker 1: changing with them or willing to accept the fact that
Speaker 1: they're human, they're gonna make mistakes, they're gonna grow, they
Speaker 1: might wake up one day and want something totally different.
Speaker 1: You're not being realistic and you're doing yourself a disservice.
Speaker 1: And then it's like you're trying to force this narrative
Speaker 1: of I don't know if it's based off of society
Speaker 1: or movies or while we create this perfect image of
Speaker 1: what a relationship to be, or like we come up
Speaker 1: with like our own perception of like what we want,
Speaker 1: you know, and then it's like when this person we put,
Speaker 1: we put, and I feel like it's selfish to put
Speaker 1: our perception of what we want from a relationship on
Speaker 1: somebody that didn't even know you. When you came up
Speaker 1: with this, they had a whole plan and any found
Speaker 1: a partners. We talked about it. We talked about that
Speaker 1: because I'm the guys. They keep telling me when I
Speaker 1: say the guys, you know, my son and Angelo are
Speaker 1: the two co founders of Until Free Him, and so
Speaker 1: the four of us, Linda, who was my Muslim Palestinian sister,
Speaker 1: um and all four of us. We travel everywhere together,
Speaker 1: so we're always talking. And our drivers are generally men
Speaker 1: who come from a perspective as well. So we're in
Speaker 1: the car and we go almost we're at the point
Speaker 1: of almost blows, like fighting because I don't want to
Speaker 1: hear ship. She's married and she's got her perspective. My
Speaker 1: son is married, he's got his perspective. Andrew, it's just crazy.
Speaker 1: But they keep telling me that My problem is that
Speaker 1: I am in love with a fantasy world. And also
Speaker 1: I have in my mind a thing that I want,
Speaker 1: and I'm looking for a person to fulfill the thing
Speaker 1: rather than me looking for a person that I actually
Speaker 1: can fall in love with and figure it out. And
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, maybe my parents said, you know, first
Speaker 1: of all, he's got to marry too, you know, so
Speaker 1: you need his last name. Also, we're supposed to have
Speaker 1: a why house with a picket fence, and I'm supposed
Speaker 1: to have a dog, two children, a boy and a girl,
Speaker 1: two cars in our lives. Right, of course we're not.
Speaker 1: We there's variations of that because I'm not even that
Speaker 1: that's not even who I am, and I'm way cooler
Speaker 1: than what I'm expressing, but there are there is a
Speaker 1: certain construct that I believe it's supposed to be my life,
Speaker 1: and every day that's being like torn not torn down.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be negative, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I would say this, I don't want to cut you off,
Speaker 1: but I would definitely advise you to be and do
Speaker 1: all of that for yourself. So even when you do
Speaker 1: find someone else, if they don't amount to that, it
Speaker 1: don't even matter because you you do it for yourself
Speaker 1: as is. So it's not even like you're gonna miss
Speaker 1: out on that part, you know what I'm saying, and
Speaker 1: so whenever, when whenever you do find your significant other,
Speaker 1: whatever they bring to the table is completely extra, even
Speaker 1: down to the way they make you feel to the
Speaker 1: sex likes. It's all extra because you do it for
Speaker 1: yourself as is, and you're not putting what you generally
Speaker 1: want in the hands of somebody else, which is doing
Speaker 1: yourself a disservice, because it's like, if they can't rise
Speaker 1: to that occasion, you're gonna be disappointed. But if you're
Speaker 1: doing it for yourself, it wouldn't even matter if they
Speaker 1: rose that occasion or not because you're already content. That
Speaker 1: makes sense, Yeah, But so can we talk about honesty
Speaker 1: for a minute and that communication process, right, because I
Speaker 1: don't for me in past relationships when people try to
Speaker 1: be honest, I did get upset about, you know, whatever
Speaker 1: it is. I'm getting much better in life beginning to
Speaker 1: understand truth is truth and you just kind of gotta
Speaker 1: deal with it. But what does that process look like
Speaker 1: for y'all outside of the game in Philly? But other
Speaker 1: things like how do you express when you're having urges? Right?
Speaker 1: You know, man, I want to do these things today,
Speaker 1: or when you're feeling certain things that need to be
Speaker 1: communicated and have you either one of you ever found
Speaker 1: the other person to not be honest, which is made
Speaker 1: you know, the relationship more difficult. Absolutely, when we first
Speaker 1: got together, I had a daughter on the way and
Speaker 1: at that I was I didn't disclose that and like
Speaker 1: I still didn't like fully give clarity and come clean
Speaker 1: till last summer. So them there two years went by,
Speaker 1: like and my daughter was around and all, like she
Speaker 1: had her mom and I split with my daughter had
Speaker 1: I got well, I got a bunch of daughters body,
Speaker 1: I got five dollars on something. But this particular daughter
Speaker 1: she was she had like she's around and all, but
Speaker 1: I still was just moving like well, I ain't know
Speaker 1: she was pregnant. It just happened. It happened. But I
Speaker 1: definitely knew because my mom made me aware, Like literally,
Speaker 1: as I'm courting her full blown relationship because she from Georgia,
Speaker 1: I'm convincing her to come to town and come live
Speaker 1: with me, like my mom break the news to me,
Speaker 1: you know, at the same time. So yeah, we definitely
Speaker 1: have had She's had lives, but it's been like white lives,
Speaker 1: like Hetty, I'm gonna be really there, so white I
Speaker 1: can't even remember him. I remember one of them, but
Speaker 1: it was just like petty stuff. But I know for me,
Speaker 1: that was like one of the the most defining lives.
Speaker 1: And that's why I said a lot of times men lie,
Speaker 1: you know, afraid of isolation, like my son is saying
Speaker 1: the fear. So like my whole thing when I when
Speaker 1: I stole across, I was like, damn, I really want
Speaker 1: to be with her, like like it was something that
Speaker 1: drew me to her immediately, and I'm like, damn, I
Speaker 1: got this whole like I got this whole world in Tampa,
Speaker 1: which I did really well with all the other women,
Speaker 1: like I like, I don't know if you'll remember, um uh,
Speaker 1: I can't then between love and hate. When Martin started
Speaker 1: breaking up all his women and he was getting slapped
Speaker 1: it all, like I had a whole face like that.
Speaker 1: Like because I had women all over the nation I
Speaker 1: would deal with in different states, I had to tell
Speaker 1: everybody like hey, this that in the third but that
Speaker 1: one detail I left out completely, So yeah, I had
Speaker 1: to live with that one. Any caught up to me, well,
Speaker 1: I just finally like came clean. This past summer was
Speaker 1: like so look, that's why I did it blah blah blah,
Speaker 1: and we went from that, but it definitely had a
Speaker 1: black cloud old the relationship for a great deal of
Speaker 1: time because she's not crazy and the baby is walking
Speaker 1: around the house and I'm just like, yeah, I did that, Lord, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think I don't know. Okay, are you gonna go now?
Speaker 1: I was just gonna say I felt like it was
Speaker 1: unfair because we were so transparent and I've shared like
Speaker 1: a situation like that happening before, and how I dealt
Speaker 1: with it and what I thought and like he saw
Speaker 1: firstand how I would move in a situation like that
Speaker 1: because I've dealt with it before. I didn't um, I
Speaker 1: wasn't upset in the previous situation when it happened. I
Speaker 1: just didn't like the fact that you're forcing me into
Speaker 1: a situation without giving me a choice to even say, like, oh,
Speaker 1: that happened before me, Like I get that ship happens,
Speaker 1: Like I'm extremely realistic. So I just felt like it
Speaker 1: was completely unfair and like I have trust issues as this,
Speaker 1: So him doing that after like I'm under the impression
Speaker 1: that we're being completely transparent. We honest, I got a
Speaker 1: man that tell me everything and to kind to find
Speaker 1: out like he lying about something that's like completely unfair
Speaker 1: to even lie about. And it's like, yeah, so it
Speaker 1: definitely took a toll, But like I said, like you
Speaker 1: have to because I'm realistic, I understood. The reason why
Speaker 1: I wasn't even upset as I probably should have been
Speaker 1: because he lied is because I was realistic and I knew,
Speaker 1: like it happened before me, you know. And I know
Speaker 1: it looks one way on Instagram and everybody's like, oh,
Speaker 1: he had a baby on you, how can we take advice,
Speaker 1: blahlah blah, But it's like he didn't have a baby
Speaker 1: on me. That was before we even became a thing.
Speaker 1: It just you know, it happens like when you're having sex,
Speaker 1: you know, and protected sex with that you're either gonna
Speaker 1: catch STD or you're gonna have a baby, or you
Speaker 1: dodge the bullet, you know what I'm saying. And that's
Speaker 1: just that's just what it is. So because I'm realistic
Speaker 1: and I understand that, and it was before we even
Speaker 1: made anything official, I can't be too upset. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: upset because you felt the need to a lot of
Speaker 1: me about it when we've been so transparent. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. So that was, like she said about
Speaker 1: five times, like because you know, but I think what
Speaker 1: it is like when I'm listening to Derek, like, men
Speaker 1: have a fear of disappointing, especially when you when you
Speaker 1: care about somebody, right, you don't want to disappoint them,
Speaker 1: And I would and I would neate nature just trying
Speaker 1: to protect you from ship that can harm you or
Speaker 1: disappoint you. And we and we don't want to disappoint you.
Speaker 1: And sometimes when we when we were weak and we
Speaker 1: do ship that's against us, we think, like them, let
Speaker 1: me just not say this. I'm I'm never doing it again.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna move past it. But I just don't want
Speaker 1: to let me just not say this. And that's a
Speaker 1: mistake that we make, right. And I think, I think
Speaker 1: what y'all established as a level of unconditional love and
Speaker 1: friendship that supersedes that. I think at some point when
Speaker 1: he's seen that at his worst, you know that he
Speaker 1: could tell you the ship that was at his worst,
Speaker 1: and you still embrace him and you still loved him
Speaker 1: and you didn't make him feel like damn. I should
Speaker 1: have never told her because I knew this was gonna happen.
Speaker 1: I knew she was gonna act like that. When you
Speaker 1: gave him that energy to continue to speak to you,
Speaker 1: then it gives you more. It makes you want to
Speaker 1: be more transparent, It makes you want a communication. I
Speaker 1: think in relationships was lacking. Is that grace? Right? It's
Speaker 1: like when you say, all right, you want the truth,
Speaker 1: and you tell somebody the truth and they react exactly
Speaker 1: how you thought they was gonna react. So that's why
Speaker 1: you didn't want to tell them in the first place,
Speaker 1: right when you when when you're here, so when you
Speaker 1: see somebody do the opposite of what you thought and
Speaker 1: they're like, all right, I'm really not happy with it,
Speaker 1: but I love you and we're gonna move past this
Speaker 1: and this and that and you and we're moving past that.
Speaker 1: It's it's like, you know what, I could tell this person,
Speaker 1: I could be honest. I want and I want to
Speaker 1: be better for this person because I know that they
Speaker 1: love me in a different manner. It's a level of
Speaker 1: unconditional love that I think that a lot of traditional
Speaker 1: relationships don't believe it exists. They believe, no, I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna stay if you're doing this and that or not
Speaker 1: after and if that, there has to be some level
Speaker 1: I think as as men, I think, and I think
Speaker 1: Derek agreed. There has to be something that you showed
Speaker 1: me that I need to be better for you, right
Speaker 1: because we were dealing with so many were dealing with
Speaker 1: so many different women, so many different things, and there
Speaker 1: has to be some point that you show me that
Speaker 1: you you trust me, you get over some ship, you
Speaker 1: ride for me a certain way that I look at
Speaker 1: you and say, you know what, the way I've been,
Speaker 1: this woman loves me so much that I have to
Speaker 1: do better for her. I gotta be a better version
Speaker 1: of me for her because she deserves that. I gotta disagree. Bro,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Sorry, Yes, I understand, I can understand you.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you how men think. Why exhibit a
Speaker 1: that we go through, why we I have to put
Speaker 1: Chelsea Well, let us say explanation I want to hear.
Speaker 1: I am go ahead, Yeah, No, I just I feel like, um, nobody, um,
Speaker 1: both men or women should be put in a situation
Speaker 1: so where they have to show you multiple times why
Speaker 1: you should be honest or why you should be comfortable.
Speaker 1: I feel like, if you're gonna be in a relationship
Speaker 1: or the moment you decide to be with somebody, even
Speaker 1: though it's hard because like we all got shaped. Like
Speaker 1: I told you, I have trust issues, right, but I
Speaker 1: still like went out and went out of my way,
Speaker 1: stepped beyond my comfort level, and was transparent with this
Speaker 1: man about something that I would have never told nobody else,
Speaker 1: just because I was dead as serious about being in
Speaker 1: a relationship with him. You know what I'm saying. So
Speaker 1: I feel like you just answered the question. What I'm
Speaker 1: not saying what it is that you have to do.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that you gotta take him cheating with
Speaker 1: a hundred thousand girls. I'm saying there was something that
Speaker 1: you did. Whatever you told him, the way you was
Speaker 1: transparent with him that day, it made him feel like,
Speaker 1: you know what, I know she wouldn't have told nobody
Speaker 1: else that I know just the fact that she told
Speaker 1: me that, I feel that she loved me awake. So
Speaker 1: he went around the world and his toy and said, listen, babe,
Speaker 1: you know I ain't gonna be able to come back
Speaker 1: to you. I'm moving on it. You made him feel
Speaker 1: like he had to do that there was something that
Speaker 1: didn't just do that because she was cute when you
Speaker 1: identify somebody who worked it, you, you know you're gonna
Speaker 1: play the game totally different. And I know that's I agree, bro,
Speaker 1: so it He's not necessarily saying like you gotta be
Speaker 1: a punching bag. He's saying like, when there's things about
Speaker 1: you where somebody can identify like this is a worthy situation,
Speaker 1: they're gonna go all out because I mean, it's no
Speaker 1: different than me going to therapy, like anybody would have. Bro.
Speaker 1: David Benner was telling me to go to therapist in
Speaker 1: the two thousand seventeen and I blew him my every time, like, Bro,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to see therapy. But I got with
Speaker 1: her and we had no conversation. I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go to therapy to figure my ship. Now know,
Speaker 1: somebody who worked it, A man gonna like he el,
Speaker 1: he's gonna butterfly, He's gonna turn into a whole new
Speaker 1: human around here trying to make sure like he's the
Speaker 1: best version of himself. So he could have bet he
Speaker 1: could be the best version of himself for you ASO.
Speaker 1: And I think it's the reason why I in in
Speaker 1: some ways kind of reject that whole theory and I know, Chelsea,
Speaker 1: the same thing that happens for me when I hear
Speaker 1: them saying it. It's saw it come up in you,
Speaker 1: and you you pinpointed it correctly. We should not have
Speaker 1: to be a punching bag or have to be hurt
Speaker 1: in order to prove that we are the right person
Speaker 1: for someone to love. We should not. It should be
Speaker 1: the goal of every person in every relationship to goal.
Speaker 1: We don't always succeed to try their best to never
Speaker 1: hurt someone that you love. Of course you might, but
Speaker 1: you you're supposed to be trying that that person doesn't
Speaker 1: have to experience pain as proof to prove to you
Speaker 1: that you should do the right thing. And the other
Speaker 1: thing that you said, Chelsea, that I always say, and
Speaker 1: I think we all agree with this because we've discussed it.
Speaker 1: Being honest should not be contingent upon whether or not
Speaker 1: you're gonna be mad, sad, or whatever. Being honest is
Speaker 1: something that should be a part of your moral compass period.
Speaker 1: So because regardless of what we still gonna have, we
Speaker 1: might have that fight tomorrow or we might have it tonight.
Speaker 1: You can't change how someone else is going to respond.
Speaker 1: The only thing you can do is control that you
Speaker 1: did the right thing right and so and I get
Speaker 1: and I understand. I understand that we as women and
Speaker 1: we as people, because you know, whatever, we as people
Speaker 1: have to be careful that we don't create a situation
Speaker 1: where people don't feel comfortable talking to us that agree
Speaker 1: with a thousand percent. And I don't actually I've done
Speaker 1: that like issues yet well not even that, just because I, um,
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm still human. You know. I have my
Speaker 1: moments where I don't like being told about myself, you know,
Speaker 1: especially depending on the time. You know, if you get
Speaker 1: my time wrong, it's like hold on, I get defensive
Speaker 1: and then it will come off it's like, oh, well,
Speaker 1: I shouldn't have said anything. And we had a conversation.
Speaker 1: Was it the day before yesterday? It was yesterday yesterday morning. Um,
Speaker 1: I was having a conversation with someone and I see
Speaker 1: him the springshot of the message, and because I'll genuinely
Speaker 1: value his OPI and I asked him, I was like,
Speaker 1: do you feel like I was wrong? And so he
Speaker 1: told me how he felt, and I disagreed with how
Speaker 1: he felt because he was basically said it was true
Speaker 1: what he said, but I didn't like it. At the moment,
Speaker 1: and I was like, this is where it was something
Speaker 1: that came over me, where the self awareness was just
Speaker 1: on a thousand. I was like, I wanted to my
Speaker 1: first response is to defend what he said. And it's
Speaker 1: like that's not fair. You can't ask somebody how they
Speaker 1: feel or what you think about something. Then when they
Speaker 1: tell you what you think, you want to defend their thoughts.
Speaker 1: And it's like that's that's the issue, and so right
Speaker 1: right exactly, And so I I peeped right in and
Speaker 1: there what he's always complained to me about, like he
Speaker 1: feels comfortable talking to me about things, but he don't
Speaker 1: feel comfortable talking to me about me because I'll get
Speaker 1: defensive and it's like I want to justify every little thing.
Speaker 1: And I noticed that yesterday I started to do that,
Speaker 1: and I was like, no, I agree, I agree, and
Speaker 1: I respect exactly what you're saying. So instead of like
Speaker 1: defending it, I was like, I totally understand. So give
Speaker 1: me some insight on like how you would move you know,
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, or how to like rectify the situation,
Speaker 1: because I do understand his point of view, even though
Speaker 1: that's not what I was doing or that wasn't my intention,
Speaker 1: but that's how it looks. And once I took my
Speaker 1: feelings out of the situation, I was able to really
Speaker 1: see exactly where he was coming from. And it was
Speaker 1: easy for us to have a disagreeing conversation without us
Speaker 1: bumping as usually we like because I I have like
Speaker 1: this outphar terrior so does heat and like we're both like,
Speaker 1: just we can go and it's like we didn't do that.
Speaker 1: We both had a gamuine conversation. Um, it was a
Speaker 1: disagreeing one. Um, but at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: it was it was peace. At the end, it was
Speaker 1: still love. No weird energy, no bad blood, no none
Speaker 1: of that. So, um, it's a process. Yeah, yeah, yeah
Speaker 1: for sure up And because yeah, you know, and it's
Speaker 1: like when this stuff when it's when we accidentally scarred
Speaker 1: each other, which is gonna happen, because like I said,
Speaker 1: we both have to realize that we're humans having in
Speaker 1: a human experience for the first time, We're gonna accidentally
Speaker 1: hurt one another. It's there's no way around that. We'll
Speaker 1: be trying to like steer away from the pain, but
Speaker 1: it's inevitable. So it's gross, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: So it's changed. A lot of people don't like change,
Speaker 1: but change is inevitable. Nothing said. Everything is temporary and
Speaker 1: nothing stays the same all the time. You understand what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. So, like with that being the case, change hurt.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's uncomfortable, you know what I'm saying. We don't
Speaker 1: like it, but once we get through that, it's a
Speaker 1: you know, it's a it's a broader world. It's a
Speaker 1: better version of how we wore was before the change.
Speaker 1: So to sit there and try to like avoid the pain,
Speaker 1: you're doing yourself a disservice because it's gonna happen. What
Speaker 1: you can do is embrace it, learn from it, and
Speaker 1: figure out how to you're a better person. So we
Speaker 1: gotta flip to another side of this conversation, which is
Speaker 1: the business aspect, like you know, having a busy man
Speaker 1: and all the things, and you know how you how
Speaker 1: you intertwined with that, Chelsea. But the one thing I
Speaker 1: want to ask just flat out because I think there
Speaker 1: is a misconception that open and you said it's not
Speaker 1: really open, but the fact that you invite other partners,
Speaker 1: women into your marriage, um, and whatever other things you
Speaker 1: do Does that make it easier? Does that make it perfect?
Speaker 1: Is it just you know everything is perfect now because
Speaker 1: you Derek feel like, Okay, you know she's perfect because
Speaker 1: I get to have sex with other women from time
Speaker 1: to time. Or would you say it's still a struggle
Speaker 1: because some people try to sell you that, oh all
Speaker 1: you gotta do is give your man some you know,
Speaker 1: another woman, and then he's good etiquette to it for sure,
Speaker 1: Like just some ones, I thought that anybody that's interested
Speaker 1: in that type of lifestyle communicate with those women in
Speaker 1: the group chat feel me, so it's always clarity on
Speaker 1: the conversation to the best of their abilities. I know,
Speaker 1: for me, I always let her lead, so I'm not
Speaker 1: She's never gonna be put uh times out of ten,
Speaker 1: she's never gonna be put in an uncomfortable spot because
Speaker 1: she's gonna be the hint they hints me. Anyway, I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna sit back and when she bringing homes then
Speaker 1: we go. We go what we do, what we do.
Speaker 1: But I would say for me, it definitely has made
Speaker 1: it better. And I'm gonna say the biggest thing that
Speaker 1: I checked from our experiences with other women is the bonding,
Speaker 1: uh She She mentioned that we first got on him.
Speaker 1: But we like have bro moments. So that's why I say,
Speaker 1: when people say they want you to be committed to them,
Speaker 1: can they really wear those hats? Because like we we
Speaker 1: we be bros sometimes and we function like bros. So
Speaker 1: we'll go out and we'll like, well, she do because
Speaker 1: I've never had that a woman in my life. But
Speaker 1: she'll bag women like bros do, and then we literally
Speaker 1: bring them home man like in the midst of a
Speaker 1: whole recently, looking up at each other, laughing and just
Speaker 1: clowning like bros do when they when they got them
Speaker 1: or you know whatever whatever. So for me, Um, for me,
Speaker 1: it's it's the bonding, Like that's my favorite part about it,
Speaker 1: is just the bonding and having those stories and us
Speaker 1: getting like pound fist and clown how we's being honest? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: how we dog somebody. Now. It's not perfect though, Like
Speaker 1: it's putting your man in a situation to where he
Speaker 1: could have another woman does not stop him from lying.
Speaker 1: It does not stop him from feeling like, you know,
Speaker 1: he doesn't have to be transparent or you know, like
Speaker 1: that he's gonna just magically have like this emotional telligence
Speaker 1: or no when and wood or how not or anything.
Speaker 1: So I just want to say, um, no, that's not
Speaker 1: the answer to a relationship. I generally feel like what
Speaker 1: I've learned, everybody has to do their own self work.
Speaker 1: You know, like you can give a man and a woman.
Speaker 1: You can give a woman don't moon the stars, the world,
Speaker 1: the other world, the universe. If she's not happy within
Speaker 1: herself or secure within herself, it's never gonna be enough.
Speaker 1: You know, it's still you. You're still gonna find some ship.
Speaker 1: So I just feel like, um, it's all about self
Speaker 1: work at the end of the day. And that's why
Speaker 1: I was telling you, like if when you do it
Speaker 1: for self, do work on self. Everything else is extra.
Speaker 1: So like the the extra women when we do you know,
Speaker 1: parts participating that it's extra. It's not like that's the
Speaker 1: answer to our relationship as a whole, because it's not.
Speaker 1: We've been in a situation where we, like I said,
Speaker 1: we've had a girlfriend that ship did not go how
Speaker 1: we thought it was gonna go. It was definitely moments
Speaker 1: where I was like, Nigga, you got me sucked up?
Speaker 1: What is this? You know what I'm saying. And it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, but I mean, we're just gonna be honest.
Speaker 1: Like but like I said, it's like a learning curve.
Speaker 1: Like we all human, we don't know what we're doing
Speaker 1: until we do. And it's like okay, yeah, no, we
Speaker 1: gotta take this a little bit because that ain't there.
Speaker 1: I do like this. This is cool, This is fun,
Speaker 1: but it has boundaries limitations, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Knowing when you're like at your I don't even know
Speaker 1: like when you've reached your your limit, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, And so you're not gonna know that though
Speaker 1: you're not gonna know your boundaries. You're not gonna know
Speaker 1: your limits if you haven't done that self work, you know.
Speaker 1: And even if you I don't know it like I
Speaker 1: like I said, I feel like it boils down to self.
Speaker 1: You have to work on self. I have to work
Speaker 1: on self. He has to work on self. And like
Speaker 1: when we're both whole, we meet up and then you know,
Speaker 1: it's easier to fight the both things together, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Versus me having my bullshit, he having
Speaker 1: his bullshit. We come together. Now we got bullshit together
Speaker 1: on top of our personal bullshit. And it's just like
Speaker 1: shit everywhere. Yeah, I think. I think just listening to you,
Speaker 1: Chelsea's like a lot and not saying, oh, there are
Speaker 1: a lot of women that don't put any emphasis on them.
Speaker 1: Right when I have conversations a lot of women like, well,
Speaker 1: men doing this, and y'all need to do this better,
Speaker 1: and now I need to do this, and i's you,
Speaker 1: and it's so dope because you have your own self reflection,
Speaker 1: like you're not sitting there just pointing out the things
Speaker 1: you do wrong, like you really say, I got my
Speaker 1: own bullshit. I've been doing this and I needed to
Speaker 1: do this and I realized I was wrong, Like you
Speaker 1: bring in that right. There is a communication method that
Speaker 1: is effective because when people see that you're willing to
Speaker 1: take on something to be like, okay, you know what,
Speaker 1: now now let me do my self assessment. Let me
Speaker 1: see how I can be sure a better because she's
Speaker 1: willing to do this, you know. So I want to
Speaker 1: just commend you on that because I have a lot
Speaker 1: of conversation with women, and I have been attacked. I've
Speaker 1: been a tables with four or five women was telling me,
Speaker 1: don't tell me about me, don't tell me about what
Speaker 1: women do. Y'all need to do, and I'll be like,
Speaker 1: I'm not really telling you about you. I'm just telling
Speaker 1: you how we receive what you're doing. It's not about
Speaker 1: you or anything. So I think that you've become reception
Speaker 1: receptive to a message. I think yet the way that
Speaker 1: you'll communicate is dope because you're both keeping on eye,
Speaker 1: you're both self reflective, and y'all understand that you're old human,
Speaker 1: that everything is a learning process. That you don't expect
Speaker 1: him to be perfect. You don't expect you to be perfect. Y'all,
Speaker 1: y'all understand that you're both got your own bullshit, And
Speaker 1: y'all figure out how do we meet? You know, how
Speaker 1: do we grow together? You know it's because as humans,
Speaker 1: we are constantly evolving. Like the ship that you wanted
Speaker 1: five years ago, you ain't gonna one five years later.
Speaker 1: The ship that you think right now, you ain't gonna
Speaker 1: think tomorrow. We we all, you know, we're human beings.
Speaker 1: So people hold you to who you was ten years ago. Well,
Speaker 1: you told me this, and you were supposed to be that. Well,
Speaker 1: I didn't even know I was gonna think what I'm
Speaker 1: thinking right now ten years ago. So how do you
Speaker 1: think that I'm gonna be that same person, so you know,
Speaker 1: I applaud you know. I just want to ask this question, though, business,
Speaker 1: how do you how do y'all work as business? Do
Speaker 1: you feel like you know the way that you'll communicating
Speaker 1: your relationship helps your business or y'all do y'all do
Speaker 1: good business together? Do your side like y'all I can't
Speaker 1: do business well? Like we're gonna separate that, Like, how
Speaker 1: do how do you think that works? Uh? Real quick?
Speaker 1: So perfect example of this situation right here. I'm pregnant
Speaker 1: and I'm sleepy and I'm thirsty, and he was like,
Speaker 1: I didn't even know about this interview. Um, And I've
Speaker 1: been telling him, like day, I don't like when you
Speaker 1: tell me stuff at the last minute, But like I said,
Speaker 1: how to its up somebody for who they are. He's
Speaker 1: been doing it, and I'm gonna drop myself crazy. And
Speaker 1: I understand that, you know, And I'm gonna drop myself
Speaker 1: crazy by continuing to try to beat something his head
Speaker 1: Like days, I'm telling me stuff at the last minute. Anyway,
Speaker 1: So he tells me, He's like, Bay, I need a
Speaker 1: huge favor. We got this interview, blah blah blah. When
Speaker 1: I was just talking about I'm gonna lay down and
Speaker 1: take me another nap. Girls Jazz, they's gonna go, you know.
Speaker 1: So it's like, alright, cool, I'm you know, we're gonna
Speaker 1: do this interview, but when I get done, I'm taking
Speaker 1: my nap. Um. He we actually have to go some
Speaker 1: we have to go to our other house because we're
Speaker 1: like turning in some production studio. That's the whole other thing.
Speaker 1: But he works over there. So I'm like, okay, well,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go with you over there, um if you
Speaker 1: need anything for me and between you know, by the
Speaker 1: time we get over there, asked me. Because when I
Speaker 1: get there, I'm going to sleep and I want my
Speaker 1: sleep until you know, the girls get home and that's that.
Speaker 1: So I think we jugglate pretty well for the most part.
Speaker 1: I'm the type of person it's easy for me to
Speaker 1: like roll with the countries, um, and I feel like
Speaker 1: he um, you know, he he'd be throwing them puncious
Speaker 1: not of stuff happening all the time. But you feel like,
Speaker 1: do you feel, Derek like a helpmate is important in
Speaker 1: order for you to be Do you feel like you
Speaker 1: could do it just by yourself? You know, A lot
Speaker 1: of men. They do their work and then they go home,
Speaker 1: but it seems like you have your home intertwined. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I did it. I did it by myself
Speaker 1: for like seven years. But I will say having a
Speaker 1: helpmate is an absolute added of the way I conduct
Speaker 1: business has evolved. The amount of money I make has evolved,
Speaker 1: even the way that our view money has involved. Like
Speaker 1: I'm actually in the process right now or putting all
Speaker 1: my businesses on auto college and as an April fifteen, Uh,
Speaker 1: we're going on like a nomadic journey where I bought
Speaker 1: an RV, so we're just gonna travel for the duration
Speaker 1: of her pregnancy. And really just like because we're big
Speaker 1: on like living off the land, we draw a lot
Speaker 1: of fruit veggies, but I really want to do it
Speaker 1: on another level. So like having that helpmate helped me
Speaker 1: to go from Remember like my best money business prior
Speaker 1: to her was like two. The month she came around,
Speaker 1: best month of business went other like, and shout out
Speaker 1: the tip too for putting me on the Expedition podcast
Speaker 1: because that definitely changed my career. But I went from
Speaker 1: to nineties something at one point six to five in
Speaker 1: the month. Then I just kept evolving, whether it be fatherhood,
Speaker 1: business blah blah. Then I even evolved to the place
Speaker 1: current day where it's like money isn't my priority, or
Speaker 1: being a good dad, being a better partner blas blows
Speaker 1: my party. So absolutely having a helpmate, having having that,
Speaker 1: having that extra set of eyes when you're moving around,
Speaker 1: having a woman's intuition when you grinding and handling business,
Speaker 1: it's absolutely helpful. That's for me, Like I focused on
Speaker 1: big in big game when I'm doing business, so I
Speaker 1: miss a lot of the small things because I'm trying
Speaker 1: to see like how we get that bad, how we
Speaker 1: get that house so, how we get that built, and
Speaker 1: how we launched this and launched that, and then too
Speaker 1: we practice inclusion. So I'm really big from her down
Speaker 1: to my children. I try to keep them in the
Speaker 1: loop business wise on every scale. I'm very very much
Speaker 1: aware that, like everybody, life has an exploration day and
Speaker 1: the last thing I want to do is just like
Speaker 1: leave them a bunch of businesses to inherit with money,
Speaker 1: but they have no idea on financial literacy, how to
Speaker 1: run the business to ends and out chain to command
Speaker 1: this that the third So for me, like I love
Speaker 1: my winds, my lessons, the acquisitions, the down months, the
Speaker 1: good months. I love that had a family front and
Speaker 1: in our family oriented anyway. Like my payroll, it's predominantly family.
Speaker 1: And only people don't ever see me with is my
Speaker 1: children or her. Seldom it would be another adult in
Speaker 1: my frame. But inclusion to me is the biggest thing.
Speaker 1: Finally gives talents and purpose within your family and then
Speaker 1: monetizing them so we can have like a family full
Speaker 1: of people who get money, not just a family lying
Speaker 1: on this one individual that get us some money. M
Speaker 1: M wow. It's and it's hard because I feel I
Speaker 1: guess you know, when you talk about all the relationships
Speaker 1: stuff and how people are feeling emotionally and then it
Speaker 1: comes time to do business together, sometimes if you don't
Speaker 1: have emotional intelligence, Chelsea, you'll be like, I'm not doing
Speaker 1: ship for your ass today. You know. You know we've
Speaker 1: had that. She didn't be like, and I had to
Speaker 1: put it to the side and be like, listen, when
Speaker 1: you do stuff like that, it makes me not feel
Speaker 1: like I could trust you on business. Like I get it.
Speaker 1: We could bump heirs personally, but the family still has
Speaker 1: to financially progress and cover ground because America is against us.
Speaker 1: We can't we can't allow our internal battles to throw
Speaker 1: to divert the whole fucking plan. And she like took
Speaker 1: her accountability. Was like, you're right, I'm gonna start making shot.
Speaker 1: I come through regardless because that is a And she
Speaker 1: know like I don't have friends, I don't have a
Speaker 1: big circule, Like she really the only person I count
Speaker 1: on in my pops outside of my children. So she
Speaker 1: know like she played a large role and she didn't
Speaker 1: ask for it, but I have given her a lot
Speaker 1: of responsibility, Like it's gonna be her job if I
Speaker 1: leave before her, Like you gotta giving out my estate,
Speaker 1: you gotta make sure the trust is handled in this manner,
Speaker 1: this and that. So it's important to try to get
Speaker 1: But you know, the thing is that oftentimes we as
Speaker 1: women or the person because I've also experienced this being
Speaker 1: the busier person with more resources. I have experienced being
Speaker 1: in a relationship where a man felt like he was
Speaker 1: doing it for me. This is not for me, bro,
Speaker 1: this is for you, me, our kids, our family legacy
Speaker 1: or whatever. And people often have in their mind like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm not gonna be I'm not you're not
Speaker 1: gonna tell me, you know, to do this stuff for
Speaker 1: you while you also you know, didn't speak to me
Speaker 1: well last night or you ain't screw me in two
Speaker 1: days or whatever. And I think we have to own
Speaker 1: the fact that when we're talking about people who are
Speaker 1: in a relationship with business, also you are equally valuable
Speaker 1: because this is about your life. You're not just working
Speaker 1: for another individual and people. It's hard though, because you'd
Speaker 1: be like you could kiss my ask like I'm not
Speaker 1: even talking to you, so why would I sit down
Speaker 1: and do whatever else with you? So, you know, emotional intelligence,
Speaker 1: I think is probably key to all relationships, but we
Speaker 1: don't always have it right now. That's just I got
Speaker 1: a partner who got a business and he's going through
Speaker 1: some things with his partner, and she took it upon
Speaker 1: herself to like smear his name and situations and I
Speaker 1: had I mean, he was talking to his like bro ship.
Speaker 1: Aware of that that affects your children. You can't take
Speaker 1: y'all disagreement in the bedroom, smear his business name in
Speaker 1: the streets and then be like the babies ain't eating ship.
Speaker 1: You're sucking up his name like it's a it's a
Speaker 1: domino effect. So yeah, something she's always told me. It's
Speaker 1: just like her focus be the bigger pictures. And I've
Speaker 1: always been away too, Like I have, I have a
Speaker 1: great deal of wisdom and foresight. So like why most
Speaker 1: people are gonna have a breakdown that caused him into fallout.
Speaker 1: Next month, I'm going to start thinking, like above all,
Speaker 1: we don't want our grand children to work for their
Speaker 1: oppressive So despite this ship, we beef him by right now,
Speaker 1: like what we're gonna do tomorrow to make sure there's
Speaker 1: business is still intent. That's that's that's a dope perspective.
Speaker 1: And I say that all the time, and it comes
Speaker 1: from friendship, right, And I said that all the time.
Speaker 1: If when you when you when you value somebody and
Speaker 1: you're your friend, even when you're not on the right page,
Speaker 1: you don't want to see him loose, right, You're not
Speaker 1: gonna try to do something harm him. All right, we're
Speaker 1: not in the right page. But if I got a situation,
Speaker 1: I know it's gonna benefit you cool because you're somebody
Speaker 1: that I care about you, somebody I understand that you
Speaker 1: have a level of value and I have a level
Speaker 1: of value to you. Despite I would disagreement. I never
Speaker 1: want to see you at your worst, you know. And
Speaker 1: I think that's what a lot of relationships lack. People
Speaker 1: get into relationships without having friendship, without having real unconditional love,
Speaker 1: you know, and they and the emotional intelligence starts to
Speaker 1: supersede their minds, you know, it starts to the emotions
Speaker 1: start to supersede their intelligence. I that down to just
Speaker 1: give you a quick example. I remember, I know, the
Speaker 1: biggest amount of money I've ever given her at one
Speaker 1: time was a hundred K. And that hundred k what's
Speaker 1: for her to go by her own plot of land?
Speaker 1: Plots of land during an actual breakup for me in
Speaker 1: a break because like I do on her to win,
Speaker 1: like whether I'm dead or alive, like I care about
Speaker 1: her that I still want her to be on her
Speaker 1: big dogship whether she win the next man woman whatever
Speaker 1: or even like most recently, I had a business that
Speaker 1: we had joint but I stepped out of the business
Speaker 1: and just solely sent it her way so she can
Speaker 1: keep the revenue. And just you know, she she wanted
Speaker 1: to be in a certain position on her own, and
Speaker 1: I totally respect that. I get it. Like I'm a businessman.
Speaker 1: I understand business. So no, bro, I agree with that,
Speaker 1: Like down to the mothers of my children. One is
Speaker 1: on my payroll, one I do really well for in
Speaker 1: terms of like making sure she cool every month, like
Speaker 1: she's more than cool. And then the other one not
Speaker 1: so much. She she's in a who relationship and on
Speaker 1: the other side of the country. We still got a relationship.
Speaker 1: But the point is, like whether they with me or not,
Speaker 1: it's a trigger gun. In fact, I have children with
Speaker 1: these women. Why they funk when I watch I not
Speaker 1: want them to ball and live their best life because
Speaker 1: if they depressed or financially oppressed, whatever the case is,
Speaker 1: my children are gonna fail that. So yeah, bro, I agree.
Speaker 1: A hunter for thing. That's right. Well, listen, I know
Speaker 1: you've got a lot to do. You know, this has
Speaker 1: been a dope interview. You know. It sounds like people
Speaker 1: can learn a lot from just the way that you're communicate,
Speaker 1: the way that you're identify, the way that you're self
Speaker 1: reflect you know, and and it's not a conventional relationship,
Speaker 1: but it's definitely working. It's benefits you, beneficial for your financially, mentally, emotionally,
Speaker 1: you're learning about yourself. You've got somebody that makes you
Speaker 1: want to learn more about yourself and makes you get
Speaker 1: in tune with yourself. And I think for me, that's
Speaker 1: that's what a relationship is, you know. So I just
Speaker 1: want to commend y'all. Continue, continue to do the great work, Derek.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm always watching. I'm always here for you,
Speaker 1: you know, just watching you continue to just be one
Speaker 1: of the dopest business people in the dopest business minds
Speaker 1: of our error and our culture. Man, it's just phenomenal, man,
Speaker 1: So keep doing Chelsea. I remember when Devid brought me
Speaker 1: to his birthday and the first time I've seen you
Speaker 1: and just watching you move and navigate the room, and
Speaker 1: and I was like he got him a ride, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. And that was like about five
Speaker 1: or six years ago. And just to see how continue
Speaker 1: to just grow. Man, it's just dope. Man. Appreciate appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Love to y'all so much. Listen, I can do this
Speaker 1: all day, but I'm coming to visit so I could
Speaker 1: really understand the mechanics of how this thing works. Because
Speaker 1: I think I'm definitely not a conventional person. And I
Speaker 1: and but but you know, but I'm but I'm also
Speaker 1: I've been I've learned, I've been taught certain things. So
Speaker 1: I have to figure out how to make how to
Speaker 1: balance what I've been taught with who I really am
Speaker 1: and allowing you know, my true self to shine through,
Speaker 1: because maybe that's what has been in the way of
Speaker 1: me being able to find the person that is for me,
Speaker 1: my person. So can I ask one question? Yeah, I
Speaker 1: got one for you. How hard is it too actually
Speaker 1: figure out who's bullish it and who's not with the
Speaker 1: position that you're in, because I'm sure like these well
Speaker 1: as stupent men quote unquote probably slotting your DM every
Speaker 1: chance they get. You know what, It's funny, my son
Speaker 1: did I talked about this whole time. I was just
Speaker 1: telling him and Angelo the other day, I'm cute. I know,
Speaker 1: I'm cute, and yeah, and still it's very rare that
Speaker 1: men come on to me like, you know, it's very
Speaker 1: very cheats intimidate And I said, it's two reasons for
Speaker 1: you or they realize you ain't gonna bullshit and they
Speaker 1: can't give you what you want. Yeah, No, they're intimidated.
Speaker 1: She's not intimidating, they're just intimidated. And I do and
Speaker 1: I and sometimes I'd be like damn, and then like, okay,
Speaker 1: if I post a picture. I posted a picture this weekend,
Speaker 1: and you know, and my and my breast are out,
Speaker 1: you know, because I'm like, I'm all the way sexy.
Speaker 1: I'm not letting anybody tell me that at forty one
Speaker 1: years old, that I have to cover up or live
Speaker 1: my life a certain type of way to please them,
Speaker 1: because I know that I'm only gonna be forty one
Speaker 1: at one time, and after I'm never gonna be able
Speaker 1: to go back and get my sexy back. And and
Speaker 1: and you know, feel the way that I feel about
Speaker 1: myself in this moment, I'm actually at the sexiest point
Speaker 1: that I've ever been at in my life because it's
Speaker 1: not just on the outside. I feel it shining from
Speaker 1: within it, you know what I'm saying. And so I
Speaker 1: had my breast out. And then all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: you know, you started getting text messages from people who
Speaker 1: are contacting you about business or other things. But you know,
Speaker 1: like you didn't call me last week, so I get
Speaker 1: what's happening, which means that it's it's it's sexual and
Speaker 1: I'm not interested in that. So I'm trying I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to figure out where we're trying to say.
Speaker 1: That's what they know. They know you're not really interested
Speaker 1: in that. Every now and then they're gonna try to
Speaker 1: hand and then when they don't get the response back,
Speaker 1: they're like, it ain't really interested in that. I know
Speaker 1: I gotta go out not so much find my man,
Speaker 1: but I have to make sure people know I'm available.
Speaker 1: And because I have trust issues, because I have other
Speaker 1: things going on, I'm I am I'm anti getting hurt,
Speaker 1: like I don't want to deal with that. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying Right now, I'm peaceful. I wake up
Speaker 1: in the morning, I worried about whether or not I'm
Speaker 1: a call back, didn't call text this that I ain't
Speaker 1: worrying about it. If he's saying he coming, if he
Speaker 1: ain't saying he's coming, I wake up and I'm good
Speaker 1: all day. I'm traveling. I'm not I can go by myself,
Speaker 1: and I know that once I let go and become
Speaker 1: more vulnerable, then I gotta deal with all the ship
Speaker 1: that goes along with that. No, I just want to say,
Speaker 1: I want you when you do attract your man, I
Speaker 1: want you to keep that same mentality that same or
Speaker 1: or that same. I don't care. I'm not gonna be worried.
Speaker 1: Keep that piece. I'm not gonna be worried. If you
Speaker 1: call me back, it don't even matter. You good, stay good,
Speaker 1: even when you get your man, stay good, stay at peace,
Speaker 1: stay comfortable withself. Don't know I'm talking to your house.
Speaker 1: I'm coming to your house. I will be calling back
Speaker 1: so I could coachee your house. Funny one, you look
Speaker 1: damn good. Thank you, and listen. I just want to
Speaker 1: close this one thing that you said, because I hope
Speaker 1: people did not miss it. Derek. If you're gonna have
Speaker 1: multiple women and friends communicate on the group text, that
Speaker 1: it does so everybody is going to say thing, look
Speaker 1: like like he felt that out the hardway. He felt
Speaker 1: up the hardway. No, no, no, no, Brook, I'm passive,
Speaker 1: bro like I'm the I'm the yeah she she she
Speaker 1: do all sit in the room way the comfortable though,
Speaker 1: I'm chilling. Thank you black black love. Man. It a
Speaker 1: little different, but it's definitely love and we appreciate you'all. Man,
Speaker 1: thank you, super super super cool. I mean man, there.
Speaker 1: I met Derek about on his thirtieth birthday. Man um
Speaker 1: Derek flew me out to Atlanta to um speak at
Speaker 1: his birthday party. Was me, Derek Banner. That's when I
Speaker 1: met nineteen Keys, I mean David Benn. I'm sorry, David Bend.
Speaker 1: The nineteen Keys um Nipsey Hustles um Man was there
Speaker 1: and he presented us with awards. He did it big.
Speaker 1: He came into his birthday on a on an elephant.
Speaker 1: He had a keen thing. He had an elephant that
Speaker 1: Chelsea was in the navigating. And at that time, you know,
Speaker 1: I don't know how deep the relationship was with his
Speaker 1: other baby mothers was dead and everybody was just moving
Speaker 1: in the union while it was there me and while
Speaker 1: it was like this dude, I don't know what he's doing,
Speaker 1: but he worked, you know what I'm saying. And he's
Speaker 1: been always. If you if you look up Derrik grace Man,
Speaker 1: he's a serial entrepreneur, you know he and he empowers
Speaker 1: his kids. I meant, the first time I've seen him,
Speaker 1: he had his daughter loading the gun blind phoned it
Speaker 1: loading and telling you what what bullet it was, putting
Speaker 1: it in, what's the name of the bullet, what's the
Speaker 1: name of the gun. Like he was educating his kids
Speaker 1: and he's he basically broke down, and I remember his
Speaker 1: theme was, I looked like everything they taught you was wrong.
Speaker 1: You know, everything they told you about me. I had
Speaker 1: a gun, I got tattoos on my favor I got dreads,
Speaker 1: I got big jewelry on. But I'm one of the
Speaker 1: most educating. He was educating you, and he was telling
Speaker 1: you about wealth, and he was telling you all these
Speaker 1: different things, you know, and he continued to just continue
Speaker 1: to evolve. So just watching them evolved together and just
Speaker 1: being able to talk to him, somebody that I can
Speaker 1: call whenever I need advice or information is just dope.
Speaker 1: And so shout out to him and her and now
Speaker 1: I I appreciate you know, we may not No, no
Speaker 1: relationship is gonna look a hundred present the same. So
Speaker 1: there may be things that they've said that I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 1: that's a hundred percent something I agreeve, and and there
Speaker 1: other things that maybe not. And I'm sure it would
Speaker 1: be vice versa if we had the time to examine
Speaker 1: all of our personal lives. But what I will say
Speaker 1: is I appreciate that they're willing to be honest before
Speaker 1: the world about the ups, downs and in between, because
Speaker 1: there is a fetish, if you will, that I think
Speaker 1: people are dealing with right now with this idea that
Speaker 1: just because we have either polyamorous relationship and or open
Speaker 1: marriage or open relationship, that that's going to get rid
Speaker 1: of all the ills and the problems and now everybody's
Speaker 1: gonna be on the same page. But they they talked
Speaker 1: a lot about the honesty that that takes, the commitment
Speaker 1: that it takes, the work that they are putting in
Speaker 1: to make their relationship, you know, go. And I think
Speaker 1: those things are are just so important. I feel like
Speaker 1: I learned and I also experience them through Chelsea versus
Speaker 1: through him. Um, I like I think I think one
Speaker 1: of the things that probably works for them is his
Speaker 1: mindset that he is being more of the cool one,
Speaker 1: right and you know, and and and that puts not
Speaker 1: so much pressure. But the responsibility. She knows what a
Speaker 1: man likes, she knows what he wants, and the responsibility
Speaker 1: is therefore on her. But in something in a lot
Speaker 1: of ways, but I'm sure that she feels comfortable doing
Speaker 1: the different things, whatever it is, working in the business,
Speaker 1: taking care of him. Um. The women, whatever it is
Speaker 1: that that they do to make it work. She feels
Speaker 1: comfortable because she feels like she can trust him. At
Speaker 1: the point that that trust breaks down, it stops people
Speaker 1: from functioning in their best self. So I am, you know,
Speaker 1: And that doesn't mean it's perfect, because like they said,
Speaker 1: we we accidentally hurt one another all the time. That's
Speaker 1: just the way life goes. So I think I learned.
Speaker 1: I feel like it's people are going to be really
Speaker 1: you know, tomorrow when folks get to actually hear this episode, Um,
Speaker 1: they're gonna be enlightened and probably want to know more
Speaker 1: from miss Chelsea about how she's making the great Derek
Speaker 1: a great name. That's right, man. So and that brings
Speaker 1: me to my I don't get it. You know, we
Speaker 1: talked about relationships, you know, and you you pretty much
Speaker 1: tested on a little bit, so I didn't really bring
Speaker 1: it in. And we're talking about Kanye and Kim mm hmmm,
Speaker 1: and I and you know and Derek and um, and
Speaker 1: Chelsea said something that that pretty much touched on. You know,
Speaker 1: when we do these things publicly and you're trying to defame,
Speaker 1: it hurts your children, you know it like you you
Speaker 1: hurt your children, right, And and I don't know who's
Speaker 1: at fault. You know, I don't know who's at fault,
Speaker 1: but I want to know. I don't get why people
Speaker 1: think disrespecting talking bad about someone that you once said
Speaker 1: that you had loved, for someone that you will embrace
Speaker 1: with publicly, it's even acceptable. I don't even know why
Speaker 1: you would want to do that. You know. I watched
Speaker 1: men a lot of times or women who feel like
Speaker 1: there's going publicly come out and say negative things that
Speaker 1: your children gotta see, you know what I'm saying. I've
Speaker 1: watched Kanye say things about Kim publicly that the children
Speaker 1: has to see. And there was a dispute that they
Speaker 1: was having about her being on TikTok or whatever, and
Speaker 1: he had an issue with it. And you know, and
Speaker 1: I'm not like the biggest Kim Kardashi. I'm not the
Speaker 1: biggest Kardashian fans. You know. There's a lot of things
Speaker 1: that I can say that I take issue with the
Speaker 1: way they've conducted themselves, and you know, just the way
Speaker 1: that they you know, done with the culture a lot
Speaker 1: of different things. And there's the good things they've done.
Speaker 1: But when she responded, you know, and said, you know,
Speaker 1: things that you said about me publicly and the way
Speaker 1: that you you do humiliate me publicly is doing way
Speaker 1: more harm than any TikTok could do. And and and
Speaker 1: that was real for me, you know. And so I
Speaker 1: just don't get why as adults, you know, we we
Speaker 1: utilize these platforms and we utilize our voices to try
Speaker 1: to dismantle, discredit the fame and break down people that
Speaker 1: we once lived our lives for, you know. And I
Speaker 1: just don't get that. I think, for me, if there's
Speaker 1: a Morald thing for me, there's a moral compass that
Speaker 1: I have that I don't care how much we beef.
Speaker 1: If I want if you were somebody I loved and
Speaker 1: I called a friend and and I'm racing you was
Speaker 1: in my house and you know, my mother, and and
Speaker 1: I slept with whatever it is, I don't want to
Speaker 1: harm you in front of publicly. We beefing behind I
Speaker 1: don't want to publicly. I don't understand how people get
Speaker 1: to that level. I just don't get. Well, I think
Speaker 1: that there are levels to the situation. Number One, just
Speaker 1: because something that you've done isn't in front of the world,
Speaker 1: that does not mean that it does not hurt another individual, right,
Speaker 1: So it might be private pain but it hurts just
Speaker 1: this bad. And sometimes people feel their only power is
Speaker 1: in being able to tell the world what you're doing
Speaker 1: to them. So I think in Kanye situation, while you know,
Speaker 1: I am not a Kardashian fan, I you know, I
Speaker 1: think I do appreciate what Kim has been trying to do,
Speaker 1: and I support it. I don't give ship. If you
Speaker 1: got fifty people working on a case, if she's able
Speaker 1: to come in and help to bring it to that
Speaker 1: final stage, that's her job. You're a closer, do that job.
Speaker 1: So I'm you know, I'm all for that, but I
Speaker 1: still feel she has a responsibility to acknowledge those who
Speaker 1: were involved before she got there and make sure that
Speaker 1: they are part of the process. So I had to
Speaker 1: say that. But I I understand though, that every single
Speaker 1: black man that goes through that Kardashian family, in the end,
Speaker 1: there is some real significant trauma, significant trauma, and the
Speaker 1: man does not They always come out super scaped, right.
Speaker 1: That's that's that's on the exterior. Now we can't you know,
Speaker 1: you start going down the list looking at Chloe and
Speaker 1: how she has tried her best to be with Tristan
Speaker 1: and he's not you one of y'all said, I think
Speaker 1: it might have been I don't know. Somebody said, there's
Speaker 1: a young guy who's probably not ready for the relationship
Speaker 1: that is being sort of like he's being pushed into. Right,
Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, the way in
Speaker 1: which Tristan has conducted himself is not cool. It's not cool,
Speaker 1: And I don't see Chloe doing anything to try to hurt.
Speaker 1: So I'm saying that they're you know, one one hand,
Speaker 1: we can feel like all the black men are scathed,
Speaker 1: but on the other hand, we see situations where people
Speaker 1: are able to walk away and and and I guess
Speaker 1: I forget the guy's name that was married to Kim
Speaker 1: or he was with Kim, not not necessarily, and then
Speaker 1: the other the other than it was the other. I
Speaker 1: forgot that the basketball players to play for the nets, right,
Speaker 1: So I'm just saying it's been Chris Humphreys. It's been
Speaker 1: a mixture of things that we have seen, and I
Speaker 1: think because they're such megastars, everything plays out publicly. However, Kanye,
Speaker 1: I don't give a damn what anybody says. You can
Speaker 1: fight me, and I get it, well, he knows the
Speaker 1: machine they had and he's gotta What Kanye is doing
Speaker 1: is wrong to me. It's wrong because at the end
Speaker 1: of the day, Kanye has as much power and money
Speaker 1: and resources or whatever, as though as that Emily and
Speaker 1: Kim is not. Seemingly I don't see where she's doing
Speaker 1: anything to him that is so publicly awful. I just
Speaker 1: see a person, a woman who tried her best to
Speaker 1: be in a relationship with this man, that followed him
Speaker 1: with his dreams, promoted him, and was all about him.
Speaker 1: And then when she decided enough is enough and I'm done,
Speaker 1: he lost it. He was cool with her when she
Speaker 1: was crying and chasing behind him, when he moved to
Speaker 1: Wyoming and she couldn't find him and she was stressing.
Speaker 1: He was cool with all of that. But when she
Speaker 1: decided that she was done, now, all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: he here. She is a public spectacle. And I also
Speaker 1: can see how which which at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: I don't agree with keeping people's kids away from them
Speaker 1: because you're mad at them, doesn't matter. You cannot do
Speaker 1: that all everybody you have kids with somebody, no matter
Speaker 1: what it is that they are doing, unless they are
Speaker 1: harmful hard mean the child, like physically harming the child
Speaker 1: or doing something that you definitely absolutely don't agree with
Speaker 1: or don't think it's right or helpy for the child.
Speaker 1: I don't believe that people should be keeping their kids
Speaker 1: because if the person is crazy, they was crazy when
Speaker 1: you laid down with them and had a child, so
Speaker 1: you just now the kids just got a crazy parent.
Speaker 1: That's it. You gotta let these kids be with their fathers,
Speaker 1: and it has to be some level of supervision and
Speaker 1: protection because if you if you my my baby mother
Speaker 1: and you was a little crazy, and then you start
Speaker 1: saying and doing ship, that makes me feel like my
Speaker 1: kid is not safe around you, right, And I hear
Speaker 1: what you're saying, but I'm not We don't know because
Speaker 1: I want to say that I don't know. I'm just
Speaker 1: I don't know about anything. But I'm just I'm and
Speaker 1: I'm just saying this in full transparency, right and in love. Right.
Speaker 1: I think that there's a level of genius that Kanye
Speaker 1: has that nobody can even deny. But I do see
Speaker 1: a level of mental breakdown that he's supposed right, and
Speaker 1: I think and I think if we're able to see
Speaker 1: that publicly, right, and we just get able to see
Speaker 1: that through tweets or an occasional um camera that he's
Speaker 1: quote on. Somebody who's living with him every day is
Speaker 1: seeing it in do a different spectrum. Right, they have
Speaker 1: to be seeing him more because we if we if
Speaker 1: we're able to detect that, because he wrote four or
Speaker 1: five tweets and somebody quote him on the Cameron, we're like, yo,
Speaker 1: this thing, it's literally breaking down. We have to say
Speaker 1: that there might be other people who know more that
Speaker 1: have been with him every day. So I'm not saying
Speaker 1: this right, I'm not saying this wrong. I'm just saying
Speaker 1: we don't know. The only the reason why I'm saying
Speaker 1: that is because I'm just drawing a very hard line
Speaker 1: on us as women, particularly who use children as the
Speaker 1: only defense mechanism we have to try to fight back
Speaker 1: against somebody that is doing us wrong or heard us
Speaker 1: or whatever. That's it's not cool. It's not cool. But
Speaker 1: to circle back to my original point and your whole
Speaker 1: thing about the the public destruction of another person's name,
Speaker 1: indoor image, or whatever the case may be, I think
Speaker 1: that Kanye and the way in which he is approaching
Speaker 1: this situation with Kim is all about narcissism and ego,
Speaker 1: and oftentimes that is why people run to the public,
Speaker 1: because their ego tells them that because a person either
Speaker 1: doesn't want them or has turned them down, or has
Speaker 1: harmed them or hurt them. Now, I need to go
Speaker 1: make sure that I have people on my bandwagon that's
Speaker 1: with me about whatever this is. And it's problematic, is
Speaker 1: deeply problematic. But I've been there, so I know, I
Speaker 1: know what it feels like. What I wanted to make
Speaker 1: sure that the world knew knew that I have been
Speaker 1: done wrong. And I'm not talking about justin relationships and
Speaker 1: talking about in general. I wanted people to know that
Speaker 1: this person that I worked with hurt me or this.
Speaker 1: I wanted that. And now as I'm now beginning to
Speaker 1: get old and understanding the world, the thing that I've
Speaker 1: realized is that nobody gives a ship about your issues
Speaker 1: and what's going All they want is gossip and something
Speaker 1: that they can use, and in the end they'll be
Speaker 1: they'll toss you to the side, they'll be onto the
Speaker 1: next person story, and then you have to pick up
Speaker 1: the pieces of whatever fallout exists as a result of
Speaker 1: you bringing your public life, you know, your private life
Speaker 1: into the world. That's my opinion. And with that said,
Speaker 1: ain't nothing else to say, man, you know, ain't really
Speaker 1: much else to say. Man, we had a dope show.
Speaker 1: Shoutout to demon Grade, Shout out to Chelsea, you know,
Speaker 1: for their perspectives, their honesty, just being open so it's
Speaker 1: open and explaining their polyamor polyamorous. I didn't hear them,
Speaker 1: you know, but we've never asked them straight up and
Speaker 1: down if they have a polyamorous relationship, if they saying
Speaker 1: they had a girlfriend. They yeah, yeah, okay, okay, alright. Well,
Speaker 1: shout out to them, Yeah, shout out to them for
Speaker 1: the bring being open and just giving us a little
Speaker 1: bit of insight, you know, the pros, the cons, the benefits,
Speaker 1: you know, the work that needs to go into and
Speaker 1: it sounds like just pretty much any relationship, you know,
Speaker 1: there has to be trust, has to be communication, has
Speaker 1: to be self reflection, has to be friendship, you know.
Speaker 1: So thank them for coming on and have a wonderful,
Speaker 1: wonderful Valentine's Day. Enjoy yourself. Love yourself though, that's what
Speaker 1: Chelsea said, pretty much, you got to love yourself. With
Speaker 1: that said, I'm not gonna always be right. Tamika mattery
Speaker 1: is not gonna always be wrong to both always and
Speaker 1: I mean always, be authentic