Speaker 1: Hi, guys, welcome to another episode of Diamonds in the
Speaker 1: Rough with myself.
Speaker 2: And I'm Erica Jane.
Speaker 1: I forgot with myself my name afterwards, No, I no, guys,
Speaker 1: I decided to come as dear Abby. I'm actually I'm
Speaker 1: Sally Jesse Raphael.
Speaker 2: I love Sally Jesse.
Speaker 1: Listen, well, who are you?
Speaker 2: I don't know?
Speaker 1: Guys. Essentially, we just really couldn't get our shit together today,
Speaker 1: but we decided we'd be the perfect time to give.
Speaker 2: You guys advice, right, so move help for dear Abby
Speaker 2: because it's Dear Diamonds and we're going to give out
Speaker 2: some advice you've written to us. We're going to take
Speaker 2: a few of your questions and give our I don't
Speaker 2: know if we should be giving advice.
Speaker 1: I mean, maybe we should write in and ask people
Speaker 1: to give us.
Speaker 2: I already do for free, I know, and I don't
Speaker 2: need that.
Speaker 1: We don't want it. But apparently a lot of you guys,
Speaker 1: I don't know, why aren't.
Speaker 2: You tired of people giving you cancer advice?
Speaker 1: I'm so listen, I'm so sick of doing cancer press
Speaker 1: cancer advice. Yea, me and cancer are not simpatico anymore.
Speaker 2: No, it's just a silver It's.
Speaker 1: I'm moving on. I want to get onto other people's.
Speaker 2: Problems just real quick. I'm wearing these because I have
Speaker 2: allergies and I want to pluck my eye out, so
Speaker 2: it's just swollen under here.
Speaker 1: Well I was wearing mine, but then it was hurting
Speaker 1: because it was pushing behind my ear on the wig.
Speaker 1: So now I'm just you know, I'm up next. I
Speaker 1: wanted to make it feel like more formal today.
Speaker 2: You know, I like I like these things that you're
Speaker 2: changing up with.
Speaker 1: Well, wigs are the one thing that I'm changing up,
Speaker 1: and then just clothing is solely because the other clothing
Speaker 1: doesn't fit.
Speaker 2: For right now. It doesn't fit for right now, just
Speaker 2: for right You know. You're still tiny though, that's but
Speaker 2: just not as tiny as you were.
Speaker 1: But it's not about that. It's about like the fitness.
Speaker 1: It's like, I don't like that.
Speaker 2: I can feel well, you just don't feel like yourself.
Speaker 1: I don't feel like myself today. I got out of
Speaker 1: breath for my twenty minute walk on the treadmill.
Speaker 2: But you just had that the therapy, though, that takes
Speaker 2: it out of you.
Speaker 1: And I did the red carpet for the first time
Speaker 1: you looked beautiful. Thank you.
Speaker 2: I was really proud of you. But know what you lose.
Speaker 1: Like when you haven't done a red carpet in a
Speaker 1: long time. And granted I didn't think it had been
Speaker 1: that long, but I guess seventy, like our eighty six
Speaker 1: days is a pretty long amount of time.
Speaker 2: Oh, you counted the days.
Speaker 1: I counted the days because it was seventy six days
Speaker 1: from when I did a surgery. I wasn't like, who
Speaker 1: when was the last time I did red carpet?
Speaker 2: The surgery. I was about to say the surgery, but
Speaker 2: I feel a little nervous.
Speaker 1: I didn't feel nervous, but my eyes didn't really know
Speaker 1: where to focus, like.
Speaker 2: Because I couldn't that be because you had some brain tumors.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean it could be, but I was with
Speaker 1: Kyle and so they were yelling both of our names, yeah,
Speaker 1: and so I would I would like find my eyes
Speaker 1: being like and then I looked at her and I
Speaker 1: was like, she's staying in one. Okay, That's what I'm
Speaker 1: gonna do. And so then in eighty five percent of
Speaker 1: the photos, I'm like.
Speaker 2: This, No, you look great. I saw them and I
Speaker 2: saw your interviews I thought you spoke beautifully.
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you so much.
Speaker 2: All right, dear Diamonds, you ready, Yeah, I'm ready. Okay,
Speaker 2: Dear Diamonds, I need advice on what to do about
Speaker 2: an old friendship that I can't stop thinking about. I
Speaker 2: had best friends since tenth grade. We were so close,
Speaker 2: almost like sisters. We'd have arguments, but get over it.
Speaker 2: We went to university together. Is this person European because
Speaker 2: we say college?
Speaker 1: Oh, they they're either we went to university. They're either
Speaker 1: European or Canadian. Right, I don't know, but either way,
Speaker 1: not Americans. Were you in eighteen?
Speaker 2: I'm saying that's a bad thing. It's just nobody says
Speaker 2: university here.
Speaker 1: We didn't go to universe. Neither of us went to university,
Speaker 1: so we don't know.
Speaker 2: No, we wouldn't know. No higher education over here.
Speaker 1: No, but ask us keep going.
Speaker 2: So then she met her boyfriend who's now her husband,
Speaker 2: and she started to prioritize spending all her time with
Speaker 2: him because I guess the husband now husband and the
Speaker 2: friend did not get along. They continued their friendship, but
Speaker 2: then at the beginning of the fourth year, she.
Speaker 1: Was tired of keeping the relationship separate. And she was
Speaker 1: annoyed at the dumb little things. She did reach out
Speaker 1: to me once after I did that, and I had
Speaker 1: planned on responding but didn't. I was not planning on killing.
Speaker 2: Killing the friendship. I did try to reach out to
Speaker 2: her about two and a half years later. So basically
Speaker 2: the question is twelve years since their sister like friendship ended,
Speaker 2: but she can't move on, and I keep thinking of
Speaker 2: how to reach out and rekindle what we once had,
Speaker 2: but I'm scared of rejection.
Speaker 1: Well okay, well here's what I'm going to say about this.
Speaker 1: The friends that I truly enjoy the most are the
Speaker 1: ones that I don't need to see every day, and.
Speaker 2: You don't feel like you have to catch up with it.
Speaker 2: It feels like you just pick right up where you left.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it feels effortless. And I think if she doesn't
Speaker 1: like your husband and you're still with him, and you
Speaker 1: feel guilty for some of the things you've done in
Speaker 1: the past by you know, pushing her out in your
Speaker 1: words not mine, maybe you could just send her one
Speaker 1: little text message and just say, hey, listen, I've been
Speaker 1: doing some you know, selinking self reflecting, and I'm really
Speaker 1: sorry that I didn't make you more of a priority
Speaker 1: in my life.
Speaker 2: But I know that. Yeah, I'd like to change that.
Speaker 2: Let's see and see how they look. The bottom line is,
Speaker 2: you don't know how you're going to be received until
Speaker 2: you do it. If it means something to you, you'll
Speaker 2: reach out.
Speaker 1: And if she's this big of a problem, like, here's
Speaker 1: the thing, there's a lot of my friend's husbands that
Speaker 1: I don't like, but I suck it down. I suck
Speaker 1: it down if they want to choose to be married
Speaker 1: to them. I'm not going to avoid my friend completely,
Speaker 1: like keep everything separate.
Speaker 2: It's really none of my business. If I'm friends with you,
Speaker 2: like I mean, I don't really care about your husband.
Speaker 2: Does that makes sense? Like I could even do a
Speaker 2: double day whatever. I'm cool. I'm friends with you.
Speaker 1: The husband is, and I mean not many husbands are
Speaker 1: that funny anyway.
Speaker 2: But again, my friendship is with the woman, not with
Speaker 2: the guy. But that's my opinion.
Speaker 1: But either way, I think send her one little message.
Speaker 1: If she doesn't respond, maybe she's not the friend that
Speaker 1: you had twelve years ago.
Speaker 2: Who is the same twelve years ago and college is
Speaker 2: a completely different mindset and obviously too if he's your husband,
Speaker 2: like he's first.
Speaker 1: He's first, and he's gonna keep coming first. So I
Speaker 1: don't really know what's gonna change unless things are a
Speaker 1: little bit on the skids with your husband, kids and
Speaker 1: you need to have that friendship that you originally had
Speaker 1: with her, But it is going to change. You're married now,
Speaker 1: you possibly have kids, I don't know.
Speaker 2: Twelve years.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're both adults. There were both adults with little kids.
Speaker 2: Now well that's yeah, that's ship has sailed. Maybe you
Speaker 2: guys can bond to her being mothers.
Speaker 1: You could, you, but you're ruationship is changed, yes, agreed.
Speaker 1: But if she won't respond to you, Like I have
Speaker 1: a friend that keeps reaching out to me through subtle ways,
Speaker 1: I don't respond. I'm not interested.
Speaker 2: Do you have a big friendship circle? I have like problems, Yeah,
Speaker 2: you do.
Speaker 1: I have like sections, Like I have like three groups
Speaker 1: of friends.
Speaker 2: Right, and they all do different things, and.
Speaker 1: They all do different things, and they all meet like
Speaker 1: we all meet different Yeah, but also none of my
Speaker 1: friends really have expectations. But I would do anything for them.
Speaker 1: But if I have a friend that's like, it's my
Speaker 1: birthday next Wednesday, And if you can't make it. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be pissed.
Speaker 2: That's not a friendship. That's like you're out. Yeah, that's
Speaker 2: like five years old.
Speaker 1: I can't do it. I have no patience for it.
Speaker 2: No, and I never require that from other people. No,
Speaker 2: if you can come, come, If you can't, that's great,
Speaker 2: you know whatever. Next time, I'd.
Speaker 1: Rather just then we'll go together and grab a drink
Speaker 1: or go to lunch or do something else. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't choose people's plans on how they
Speaker 1: actually feel about me.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, Amy, We would just like to say,
Speaker 2: send a text, reach out, see what happens. But I
Speaker 2: wouldn't count on it.
Speaker 1: But don't grovel, just say like I really miss you
Speaker 1: and I apologize, but I'm what can I do that
Speaker 1: We can get back together and see if we can
Speaker 1: have some fun or but if she doesn't respond, move on.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Amy, there's going to be other friends, right, Okay,
Speaker 2: Dear Diamonds. I'm a guy with a big crush. I'm
Speaker 2: a male co worker, and I sometimes get the vibe
Speaker 2: that he might be into me too. We hung out
Speaker 2: outside of work, but I'm but always in groups. I
Speaker 2: want to be more flirty and make a move, but
Speaker 2: I'm not sure he's into guys, and I worry it
Speaker 2: could get awkward. Oh well, I got to tell you something.
Speaker 1: This is anonymous please yeah, anonymous.
Speaker 2: Police, which I do too. Here's the thing, you got
Speaker 2: HR issues. Don't do this if you don't think he's
Speaker 2: into guys. Do not make this move at all. Oh
Speaker 2: this is not a safe bet.
Speaker 1: This is at nineteen eighty seven. We've got to be
Speaker 1: careful with the age on me.
Speaker 2: Let me tell you something. You can't even tell anybody
Speaker 2: they look cute. No, do you know that you're not
Speaker 2: allowed to even comment on someone's presence, like wow, I
Speaker 2: really like those shoes, or you look beautiful today, which
Speaker 2: personally I like that. I don't appreciate that, and I
Speaker 2: would have me too.
Speaker 1: I appreciated that when you did that, when you got
Speaker 1: when I got here today. Is that an HR issue?
Speaker 2: We don't have HR. I can guarantee that HR where guys.
Speaker 1: I'm complaining because Erica gave me a compliment today and I'm.
Speaker 2: Offended well and also too. I mean, look, obviously you
Speaker 2: don't want to take away from those who have really
Speaker 2: been harassed and things like that, but telling somebody that
Speaker 2: they look nice. I think is just like noticing that
Speaker 2: they put time into their appearance.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree, And also that you appreciate how they
Speaker 1: appreciate it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that they're well taken care of.
Speaker 1: Or you might like it. Hey, where'd you get that?
Speaker 1: I'd love to get it right?
Speaker 2: But where'd you get your genes?
Speaker 1: In regards to the guy not being sure, I would
Speaker 1: think that the other guy will come to you if
Speaker 1: it's meant to be.
Speaker 2: I just say, if you're not sure about one of
Speaker 2: these things at work and it's in that work environment,
Speaker 2: do not touch it.
Speaker 1: Yeah. If we were not talking about work, if we
Speaker 1: were talking about you've seen him out.
Speaker 2: Of all, of course that's a different story. But the
Speaker 2: work thing, no.
Speaker 1: Way, Nope. And then you have to sit like unless
Speaker 1: you're planning on leaving and going to another job quickly.
Speaker 1: But even then, if it's not an HR issue, it's
Speaker 1: going to be an awkwardness issue. And it's not about
Speaker 1: if he's gay or not gay. What if he's just
Speaker 1: not into you? What if he is gay?
Speaker 2: But what if he's gay? But just it's like, yeah,
Speaker 2: you're not my type. Yeah. Have you seen that balloon
Speaker 2: show where they pop the balloons. No, it's so good.
Speaker 2: There's several. Have you I'm sure you've seen it.
Speaker 1: I it's absolutely that's the whole show. It's like pimple Popper, but.
Speaker 2: Ball So they bring so they line up either all
Speaker 2: guys are all girls and they bring you know, a
Speaker 2: guy or girl in and then it's so good.
Speaker 1: You pop the balloon and then you're with whoever.
Speaker 2: Well, they get to interview you. The host interviews why
Speaker 2: did you pop your balloon? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2: There's says the things, there's not my type, or I
Speaker 2: didn't like his teeth, or I'm just not really into
Speaker 2: guys like you.
Speaker 1: You know what, Teeth's a big thing for me.
Speaker 2: I've always known that teeth is a no. I've always no,
Speaker 2: I've known this about her. I've known this about her
Speaker 2: for for teeth or you. And there's another there's a
Speaker 2: male friend of mine who was my trainer for a
Speaker 2: long time, Alfonso already teeth are a big thing for
Speaker 2: him too. Yeah, you are the two people that stick
Speaker 2: out to me that teeth are. Like you, guys both
Speaker 2: immediately noticed teeth.
Speaker 1: I immediately noticed teeth. Am I saying that every person I've
Speaker 1: ever known that I'm close with has perfection teeth, No,
Speaker 1: but it is to me if somebody has a dazzling
Speaker 1: smile and it's not a big bunch of veneers.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you notice those that you know what I was thinking.
Speaker 2: I was getting ready today to come over here, and
Speaker 2: Liyah and I were talking. We were talking about first appearances.
Speaker 2: And you are someone that really takes in all things
Speaker 2: about people. You can tell well, this is the thing
Speaker 2: that people don't know about Teddy. She can tell you
Speaker 2: what someone was wearing, like down from top to bottom.
Speaker 2: She will know what they were wearing. That he was
Speaker 2: wearing these jeans, this T shirt. Her hair color was
Speaker 2: this dah da da da. I, on the other hand,
Speaker 2: could not tell you anything that was happening. I don't know.
Speaker 2: What I do know is how I felt about that person.
Speaker 2: But she can tell you everything.
Speaker 1: But I also need a picture of every human I'm
Speaker 1: ever speaking about, Like it would be helpful for me
Speaker 1: if I anonymous, please Anonymous please, or Amy Amy, because
Speaker 1: I think you can. If somebody's telling me a story
Speaker 1: and I can't see the person, it's not to judge
Speaker 1: the person, but it gives me more of an idea
Speaker 1: of who the person is we're talking about. So like,
Speaker 1: if you were telling me about a guy with before
Speaker 1: she would even tell me the story, I'd be like,
Speaker 1: can I see a picture?
Speaker 2: Yeah? She's very much like that, you like I need
Speaker 2: always you are that person.
Speaker 1: This one is. I have a friend who I've known
Speaker 1: for over thirty years, so I love very much. She
Speaker 1: could give the shirt off her back to you. Only
Speaker 1: thing is she stirs up drama and can be very manipulating.
Speaker 1: When she wants something and she doesn't want to come
Speaker 1: right out and ask for it. What she wants, she
Speaker 1: will do things like invite you over and cook you
Speaker 1: a meal.
Speaker 2: To so offen you. I know this type, but she
Speaker 2: does a lot.
Speaker 1: To get her way, and my opinion, the tactic is
Speaker 1: very toxic. In my opinion, Anonymous, you don't like this person?
Speaker 2: Well, I think that Anonymous feels used, and that's a
Speaker 2: lot of it. I think that you know, these friendships
Speaker 2: that we have, I don't like that. I don't like it.
Speaker 2: If you need something from me, just be straight up
Speaker 2: and ask me. Don't try to soften me, because then
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm being hustled and I don't like that.
Speaker 2: It's like when.
Speaker 1: People text you like, hey, how are you? And then
Speaker 1: the next text it and you're like you're good, I'm good,
Speaker 1: how are you? Blah blah, and then it's like can
Speaker 1: you do bab bla. Then I'm like, f off, just
Speaker 1: ask me, like I'll text somebody immediately and.
Speaker 2: Just ask for what I want. Yeah, that's my reason.
Speaker 2: Hey Teddy, Hey Erica, can you x y Z? Yes
Speaker 2: I can? Or no, I can't this person? Should this
Speaker 2: person be honest with this friend?
Speaker 1: So do I keep the friendship and just keep him
Speaker 1: at distance? No? If this person you think is a manipulator,
Speaker 1: why even bother?
Speaker 2: Well, she's fifty six years old and just doesn't want
Speaker 2: to deal with drama anymore, and she considers this drama.
Speaker 2: I'm anonymous considers this drama and if it's look, I'm
Speaker 2: fifty four in like two months, I ain't fucking with
Speaker 2: nobody that's giving me drama, and I can't do this
Speaker 2: no paid Yeah, well that's a yeah, I can do
Speaker 2: paid drama.
Speaker 1: But I think that you just take a little.
Speaker 2: But not listen. Friendships at this point in my life
Speaker 2: are meaningful. Relationships are meaningful or they're not happening at all.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree. I also think that. I'm curious if
Speaker 1: Anonymous stopped reaching out to this person, if this person
Speaker 1: would seek.
Speaker 2: A lo He's a very good point. That is a
Speaker 2: very good point. Maybe if Anonymous just stopped all communication,
Speaker 2: this person might quit.
Speaker 1: I think so too, because I think this person is
Speaker 1: really just taking what they think they can get. And
Speaker 1: if they think they can get something from.
Speaker 2: You, they'll keep trying.
Speaker 1: They'll keep trying. But if you just you don't really
Speaker 1: care about the friendship, take a little take a little
Speaker 1: fiver and see what happens.
Speaker 2: Yeah, take a break because it's using the word toxic.
Speaker 2: Stay toxic, but not like this.
Speaker 1: Listen, I'm kind of over the word toxic. Not to you.
Speaker 2: Well, no, it's old as hell, toxic, narcissist.
Speaker 1: I'm over it. Trauma, trauma bonded, trauma bonded, none of it.
Speaker 1: I don't want I don't.
Speaker 2: Want it anymore either.
Speaker 1: I'm moved on.
Speaker 2: Yes, we've moved on.
Speaker 1: Well, now we're guess what. This one's from Anonymous too.
Speaker 2: Guess what? And she's eighteen years old and currently in
Speaker 2: a relationship with a man twenty years older than me. Ooh,
Speaker 2: let me take this all that broke?
Speaker 1: I know I got so excited about.
Speaker 2: Let me take this. Okay, Dear dim, I's at eighteen
Speaker 2: years old and currently in a relationship with a man
Speaker 2: twenty years older than me. So you he's what forty? Okay?
Speaker 2: Both my family and friends are repeatedly telling me this
Speaker 2: is a huge red flag and there's a reason he's
Speaker 2: not with someone around his age. Okay, hold on, I
Speaker 2: have an answer for that. I like him a lot,
Speaker 2: and I feel really comfortable around him. I'm sure the
Speaker 2: only problem is he's recently becoming more controlling. What do
Speaker 2: you no way knows anything about that? Well, this is
Speaker 2: tailor made for me. It feels like it feels like
Speaker 2: he's being overprotective, but I'm not sure that his intentions
Speaker 2: are good. My family and friends have distanced themselves from
Speaker 2: me due to this relationship. I don't have anyone to
Speaker 2: get so okay, So Anonymous, let me tell you this
Speaker 2: is standard for one of these relationships. Number one, forty
Speaker 2: and eighteen. Do I hate it?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: No, I don't hate it. Is it a red flag? No?
Speaker 2: Because this is what men do. A lot of them,
Speaker 2: not all of them, but a lot of them. I'm
Speaker 2: sure you feel comfortable around him because at forty men
Speaker 2: have a sense of who they are. They're probably he's
Speaker 2: probably accomplished, made some money, he's experienced, he knows what
Speaker 2: he wants. He's probably not out running the streets like
Speaker 2: a twenty year old or an eighteen year old controlling. Yes, absolutely,
Speaker 2: And what he's doing is isolating you, my dear, and
Speaker 2: then you end up, of course, your friends and family
Speaker 2: fall away, and you focus solely on him. This is
Speaker 2: what most men like this enjoy. This is what happened
Speaker 2: to me. I totally focused on Tom, and you know,
Speaker 2: a lot of my friendships fell away, and then I'd
Speaker 2: ended up just being Tom's life and living Tom's life. Now,
Speaker 2: I'm not saying that's going to happen here, but I
Speaker 2: am saying that you're right on schedule.
Speaker 1: Yep. And also here's the thing. It's to me. It's
Speaker 1: not the twenty years older. But if you're with a
Speaker 1: guy who's all this to me, something that Tom did
Speaker 1: do is you didn't meet him twenty years older than
Speaker 1: you and he had never been married before.
Speaker 2: That's right.
Speaker 1: I sometimes worry about somebody.
Speaker 2: Who's never been connected, right, he doesn't have you, right.
Speaker 1: So let's check some past relationships that's what I would.
Speaker 1: I would delve into that a little bit because we're one.
Speaker 1: We're also not sure if he's thirty eight, thirty eight
Speaker 1: and forty or big difference?
Speaker 2: Do you think so?
Speaker 1: I do?
Speaker 2: I think the difference is.
Speaker 1: I think forty. Like, if you're a man and you're
Speaker 1: forty and you've never been married yet.
Speaker 2: It's a big deal.
Speaker 1: You're a red flag.
Speaker 2: Yes, I think that if you're forty, you've been married,
Speaker 2: you've had kids, or you've at least been married, you're
Speaker 2: divorced or whatever, you've had a couple of blown.
Speaker 1: Out thirty five, we can still fudge it, I think.
Speaker 2: I think so for thirty five, yeap, forty is a
Speaker 2: little like.
Speaker 1: I see your point, But let's check into some past relationships.
Speaker 1: If it seems like a very isolating time, then I'm
Speaker 1: worried he may once you get a titch older, he
Speaker 1: might be more controlling, and then he might get over
Speaker 1: you and do this to somebody else.
Speaker 2: She's young though, this is an eighteen year old person,
Speaker 2: I know.
Speaker 1: But what if he's That's what I'm saying. She can
Speaker 1: start eighteen as well.
Speaker 2: Oh, exes are eighteen, forget it. Run Yeah, But if
Speaker 2: all of his exes are eighteen years old, and if
Speaker 2: all of his exes by if he tells you that
Speaker 2: all of his exers are crazy, then you have a
Speaker 2: p and he's the crazy, the crazy one.
Speaker 1: Also, is he hot?
Speaker 2: There are a lot of hot forty year olds.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. If he's hot, more can be forgiven.
Speaker 2: Of course, if he's hotter or paying your rent?
Speaker 1: Definitely, is he hotter paying your rent? Hot paying your rent?
Speaker 2: You can look the other way for a long time. Girl,
Speaker 2: you're eighteen, come back around when they want their rent
Speaker 2: you're twenty one. Oh yeah, they will come back around
Speaker 2: when you pay their rent.
Speaker 1: They will. Does he have a jet? Hold on? I
Speaker 1: know what? This reminds me of what babe when Yolanda
Speaker 1: sings if this was my plane, if this plane were mine.
Speaker 2: You'll Londa who Foster? What am I looking at?
Speaker 1: This is her music video to David Foster that I
Speaker 1: hope Anonymous recreates for us and sends it. I'll post it.
Speaker 1: I have never seen that, you know what? I like
Speaker 1: to bring something new to the table.
Speaker 2: My god, your face if this plane were.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna put that out there for anybody.
Speaker 2: No why are we singing about a plane?
Speaker 1: Because if this plane were hers, she could do anything.
Speaker 1: She could travel the world. There's a lot that could
Speaker 1: happen if.
Speaker 2: That's such an odd thing to sing about.
Speaker 1: So either way we're getting you know, anonymous.
Speaker 2: Dad, i'd write a song about a plane.
Speaker 1: No do you think? He barely lets me ride on
Speaker 1: his plane, and when he does it's filled with sig smoke.
Speaker 1: Is he a smoker?
Speaker 2: Oh my yes, John, John, John should get you know what?
Speaker 2: That's what? Oh my god, call your dad.
Speaker 1: They could talk each other's ears off and.
Speaker 2: Smoke and smoke. They boo American spirits. I thought she
Speaker 2: was smoking Pea funks, but whatever.
Speaker 1: She switched to American spirit.
Speaker 2: Okay, well, they could smoke American spirits, fly around on
Speaker 2: the plane, talk each other's ears.
Speaker 1: But I wonder if his plane is big enough because
Speaker 1: one time I went on a plane with Durie. We
Speaker 1: were like it was like a sponsored thing. And we
Speaker 1: got there and she was like this, hold on, and
Speaker 1: she knew every detail about a plane, and she's like,
Speaker 1: this is a bubble plane. I don't feel comfortable, And
Speaker 1: I was like I do.
Speaker 2: Well, look, the old Erica.
Speaker 1: Probably wouldn't feel comfortable. But the new Erica is.
Speaker 2: Like, let me on is fine with whatever. The new Erica, well,
Speaker 2: it's not the it's the return to Derek. Okay, that's
Speaker 2: what we need to do. We need to get your
Speaker 2: father and Durite together. Oh I'm trying. It might be
Speaker 2: a good idea.
Speaker 1: The problem also is, but Duri can't have any beverages anymore.
Speaker 1: He doesn't like when girls drink.
Speaker 2: Alcohol. Oh but she doesn't get crazy.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter.
Speaker 2: Oh that's his thing.
Speaker 1: Like he just he's never drunk. He's not. It's not
Speaker 1: like he's a recovering alcoholic.
Speaker 2: He's just like, he's just not a drinker. Doesn't like it.
Speaker 1: But he feels like whenever he's in my opinion, girls
Speaker 1: drink and then they get super chatty, I'm sure, and
Speaker 1: he doesn't like it. And I don't think my sister
Speaker 1: and I have helped.
Speaker 2: That theory, the drinking or the chatting, because we'll sit.
Speaker 1: There and we'll have champagne and then we're like.
Speaker 2: Shut up. But maybe they could smoke cigarettes and talk.
Speaker 1: They've met, I mean they didn't meet, and like they
Speaker 1: met with his girlfriend there, Hi, Kristen, Oh my.
Speaker 2: God, does she listen to the show.
Speaker 1: I doubt it, So that's humiliating. Kristin. We love you,
Speaker 1: but if it doesn't work out, we've got to read
Speaker 1: here in the corner.
Speaker 2: Wait, we're saying he really has a girlfriend right now.
Speaker 2: I thought he was single. I'm over here talking like that.
Speaker 1: Oh he has a girlfriend. Oh my god, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: Sorry, I didn't know.
Speaker 1: I don't think Kristen's going to be upset about you
Speaker 1: saying that one bit. Kristin is the coolest check ever.
Speaker 2: I had no idea. Listen, I'm so very sorry. I
Speaker 2: thought John was single. Now next questions, Oh God, here
Speaker 2: you go. My husband suffers from anxiety, and it's very
Speaker 2: up and down. We are in a down phase where
Speaker 2: he has abruptly. He has anxiety about everything, but mainly
Speaker 2: the future, dying, death, in general, his physical image. We're
Speaker 2: thirty one, no kids and a dog.
Speaker 1: What do you we're dnk wads? What's dnk wad? Whoa
Speaker 1: hold on? This is a PSA dink wads is.
Speaker 2: Dual income no kids.
Speaker 1: Listen, I'm I'm not interested in being a dink wad.
Speaker 2: I would like to be a dink wad. I have
Speaker 2: an adult kid and he's got his own shit, so
Speaker 2: he's no problem.
Speaker 1: No, I don't know about dink wad.
Speaker 2: I'd rather just lots of income. Yeah, me too.
Speaker 1: He talks to a therapist here and there, but so
Speaker 1: against medication. How can I help when I do not
Speaker 1: suffer from the same anxiety. You know what I suffer
Speaker 1: from anxiety?
Speaker 2: So yeah, but you go and then I'll back them up.
Speaker 1: He wants to start exercising more. I want him to,
Speaker 1: but he's really into golf. For me, the biggest thing
Speaker 1: with my anxiety is I don't want people that don't
Speaker 1: have anxiety to try to tell me how to fix
Speaker 1: my anxiety.
Speaker 2: This is true, or tell me to relax, this is
Speaker 2: also true.
Speaker 1: Also, if you decided that you were okay with being
Speaker 1: somebody with anxiety disorder, which I have beyond belief, then
Speaker 1: you kind of just sit there and you go through
Speaker 1: the waves. And as long as he's not being I
Speaker 1: was going to say a dick wad, but that's not
Speaker 1: a dink wad. As long as you not having a
Speaker 1: dick wad to you during his anxiety and he just
Speaker 1: needs a little love and support, give it to him.
Speaker 1: And then also maybe say you could go on walks together.
Speaker 1: You could do things together, but don't start trying to
Speaker 1: coach him through his anxiety when you've never struggled with it.
Speaker 2: I agree with that, but also too, I think there
Speaker 2: are some things I don't know how he feels about it,
Speaker 2: Like there are some things you can do to take
Speaker 2: away some of the effects of anxiety, like over caffeine.
Speaker 2: I know this sounds stupid, but like even small things
Speaker 2: can make a difference. If you're against medication, I'm on medication.
Speaker 2: I had to. I was forced to, just not forced to,
Speaker 2: but I really was. My life kind of forced me
Speaker 2: into it, like I I couldn't do it without it.
Speaker 2: I will say this. I remember when I had my
Speaker 2: very first panic attack when I was thirty years old,
Speaker 2: and I did not know what it was, and it
Speaker 2: can be terrifying and until someone said to me, you know,
Speaker 2: you'll never die of an anxiety attack, and that really
Speaker 2: just took everything down for me. But a lot of
Speaker 2: it is you see a therapist. You know he sees
Speaker 2: a therapist from time to time. Make that more frequent
Speaker 2: because that does help. And if you sweat and you
Speaker 2: run around and you do some other things and hang
Speaker 2: out with people that have anxiety, because they know what
Speaker 2: it is.
Speaker 1: And also at this point, I have anxiety about even
Speaker 1: going to therapy. But there are plays and this is
Speaker 1: not an ad, but you can go to like places
Speaker 1: like betterhelp dot com and you can see a therapist
Speaker 1: online and not because booking appointments and doing all that
Speaker 1: kind of stuff.
Speaker 2: Sometimes I imagine where you are right now, everything is
Speaker 2: really overwhelming.
Speaker 1: It's annoying. Like I'm so excited that I found someone
Speaker 1: that could do my blood work right down the street
Speaker 1: instead of driving to Santa Monica. Not that I drive,
Speaker 1: but have somebody else.
Speaker 2: Driving right exactly. You have someone here.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so it's but just give them a little time.
Speaker 1: And normally if you don't feel the pressure of your
Speaker 1: significant other or person, it'll go away. But take action.
Speaker 1: You got to move your body. You gotta breathe. You
Speaker 1: have to move your body for me meditation or either
Speaker 1: like I mean, I even go in the bathtub and
Speaker 1: we'll put ice in it and like get that, like
Speaker 1: and then it'll kind of go away. But if I
Speaker 1: just lay there in my anxiety, it's very hard. That
Speaker 1: being said, you're gonna have to have him called the
Speaker 1: Dear Erica and Teddy Show because we don't want you
Speaker 1: coaching him through this.
Speaker 2: No, you have to, And unless you've actually like had
Speaker 2: one of those heart racing moments where you thought you
Speaker 2: were literally I remember like feeling like I was coming
Speaker 2: out of my skins. I felt like I was literally
Speaker 2: going to come out of my body. That is the
Speaker 2: most uncomfortable place to be. I felt like one time
Speaker 2: I was gonna throw myself out of a window, like
Speaker 2: I'm going way, way way back. It just like felt
Speaker 2: very uncomfortable around things like that can be crippling.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's social anxiety tied into it, then that's really strung.
Speaker 1: If he also has social anxiety and it's infecting affecting
Speaker 1: your relationships too. Just give him. Quit trying to make
Speaker 1: him come with you.
Speaker 2: You can't go. Yeah, you cannot make him. That's a
Speaker 2: really he has to take those baby steps forward and
Speaker 2: it's not going to just go away. No, I agree,
Speaker 2: dear Diamonds. I recently turned twenty four, left my soul
Speaker 2: sucking corporate job, and I'm moving to Charleston. Oh, you're
Speaker 2: gonna be on from DC for my boyfriend of five years, Yes,
Speaker 2: boyfriend of five years. We also have a dog together,
Speaker 2: so I'm hoping to get a ring by the end
Speaker 2: of the year. Anyways, I have no idea what to
Speaker 2: do for a career and feel so much pressure to
Speaker 2: make a shit ton of money and have everything figured out.
Speaker 2: Do y'all have advice for navigating your twenties OnlyFans and
Speaker 2: if I should prioritize saving and stability or taking risks
Speaker 2: and going on adventures like OnlyFans. No, she didn't say that.
Speaker 1: She didn't say it. We just added in the only.
Speaker 2: Fans Jenna, And thank you for adding your name, Jenna.
Speaker 2: Your twenties suck. I'm just gonna put that right out there,
Speaker 2: your twenties. This is exactly where you need to be
Speaker 2: in your twenties, not knowing what you're doing. Yeah, I mean,
Speaker 2: I think that's that's par or the course of the twenties.
Speaker 1: I mean, what, how old were you when you started
Speaker 1: Erica Jane or you started the Housewives?
Speaker 2: I returned to performing when I started my Ragadeen project
Speaker 2: when I was like thirty four, yeah, and then Housewives
Speaker 2: is like, how old am I forty three?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I'm I think I started Housewives. So that then
Speaker 1: turned into the pod all in by Teddy. It all
Speaker 1: kind of happened around the same time, and I think
Speaker 1: I was in my early thirties.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think when you're you're early I remember my
Speaker 2: thirtieth birthday and feeling certainly more comfortable in my own
Speaker 2: skin on that day. So the twenties, I mean provided
Speaker 2: here's the thing, Jenna, don't do something you can't course correct, right, Like,
Speaker 2: don't do something that you know is going to impact
Speaker 2: you for the rest of your life. That's bad. So
Speaker 2: you're allowed in your twenties not to know what the
Speaker 2: fuck you're doing. Yeah, and you're allowed to, you know,
Speaker 2: discover yourself. So don't be too hard on yourself. Just
Speaker 2: stay busy.
Speaker 1: And if boyfriend of five years is my can you
Speaker 1: feel guilty about it and you're moving there and feeling
Speaker 1: panicked because he lives in Charleston and blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: But know what I have heard is pretty lucrative and
Speaker 1: kind of fun to do while you're in Charleston is
Speaker 1: be a real estate agent.
Speaker 2: Really? Yeah, where'd you get this info?
Speaker 1: Well? I got this info from my sister's friend who
Speaker 1: has one there. Oh, so she's like a younger cute girl.
Speaker 1: She is a real estate agent. She makes good money.
Speaker 1: She has small children. She's able to live her life
Speaker 1: but also do what she loves. But I don't know.
Speaker 1: If you're not into real estate, then this isn't a
Speaker 1: great plan. But if you're totally just looking to make
Speaker 1: some money, Charleston is up and coming with these beautiful homes.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Charleston.
Speaker 1: And it's not a long it's not a long process
Speaker 1: to get your real estate licen.
Speaker 2: No in South Carolina is so open for business and
Speaker 2: really easy to do business in.
Speaker 1: Or just slide into Craig's DMS. Let us know how
Speaker 1: that I just call chperro'se.
Speaker 2: We know Jenna has Jenna has a boyfriend, but she
Speaker 2: may not.
Speaker 1: She may not when she's what Charleston has to offer.
Speaker 2: That's right, Charleston is great way to Charleston.
Speaker 1: Let's go to Charles.
Speaker 2: I want to go to I haven't been in so long.
Speaker 1: Okay, Dear diamonds, is it wrong to secretly meet up
Speaker 1: for coffee with an old, close male friend, even though
Speaker 1: spouse is very jealous? I feel like life is short
Speaker 1: and it's sad to miss out on important platonic friendships,
Speaker 1: but hard to navigate with a controlling I got a
Speaker 1: question for you. This was anonymous.
Speaker 2: Okay, can men be platonic? No?
Speaker 1: Can men? Or can men and women be friends?
Speaker 2: I have male platonic friends that are straight.
Speaker 1: Yes, I aren't your.
Speaker 2: Bosses, that's right. I do. I have two or three.
Speaker 2: It's never been inappropriate. They have their own thing. Now.
Speaker 2: That is a very.
Speaker 1: Very ram over twenty years, that's my point. But if
Speaker 1: it's a new over twenty years.
Speaker 2: When you kind of start out together and you're doing.
Speaker 1: Like my high school friends, like we brought up chat Shep,
Speaker 1: for example, I have been friends with since the seventh grade.
Speaker 2: I was gonna say middle school. So like SHEP is like,
Speaker 2: there's no way Shep's gonna try, no fucking way, and
Speaker 2: there's no way You're every like.
Speaker 1: I'm never gonna be interested. It's like we've known each
Speaker 1: other too long. But also, what is your need so
Speaker 1: much to have these friendships if you know it's gonna
Speaker 1: upset your controlling husband, if you're really wanting to move
Speaker 1: on from the controlling husband, leave the husband.
Speaker 2: I think it's a yeah, you can't have your cake
Speaker 2: and eat it too here because you're gonna pay the
Speaker 2: consequences of meeting up with someone for coffee. If you're
Speaker 2: married to control, you're really not into them. It's not
Speaker 2: worth it. It's not it's not worth it. Don't do it.
Speaker 2: And because you're just gonna pay, you're gonna pay, and
Speaker 2: it's I I guess. Look, I'm also on the other
Speaker 2: side of things looking back. Maybe you need Maybe this
Speaker 2: person needs that sort of friendship or needs that and
Speaker 2: is not getting it at home. But here's what ends
Speaker 2: up happening.
Speaker 1: She's gonna fall them.
Speaker 2: No. But even if you don't, even if it's just
Speaker 2: quote innocent, if that husband finds out the jealous control,
Speaker 2: he's gonna assume it is exactly and then you're gonna
Speaker 2: have to do all of this shit to convince him
Speaker 2: that it is.
Speaker 1: It wasn't an affair, it was just a friendship.
Speaker 2: And you're emotionally cheating.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you know what, at that point you may
Speaker 1: as well just cheat. So it's this, just don't do it.
Speaker 2: Don't do it.
Speaker 1: And if if your husband is if you love him
Speaker 1: and he's an amazing guy, you can say to him.
Speaker 2: Hey, I'm gonna go have coffee with so and so.
Speaker 1: You know, me and John, we're gonna get John's it. Also,
Speaker 1: I think It's also dependent if the person lives in
Speaker 1: town or not. Like if I were to tell somebody
Speaker 1: that was a controlling relationship person, Hey, my friend Ben.
Speaker 2: Who's coming in from coming into town.
Speaker 1: I haven't seen him in fifteen years.
Speaker 2: Well I think also to look, we're grown women. We
Speaker 2: should be able to be friends with everybody. But here's
Speaker 2: what ends up happening. Certain things are us not worth
Speaker 2: it. It's gonna cause problems at home, and it's not fucking
Speaker 2: worth it. Now. If you're telling me, hey, I'm really
Speaker 2: unhappy at home and I'm thinking about stepping out on
Speaker 2: my husband, well that's another situation. But coffee, you're gonna
Speaker 2: pay a price for that.
Speaker 1: You're gonna get in so many fights over a couple
Speaker 1: of coffee. That's not worth it.
Speaker 2: I'd rather you fuck him and then just be like,
Speaker 2: get some dick and be like, yeah I did.
Speaker 1: And cause a scandal in your town.
Speaker 2: Anonymous, Well, maybe not even, But I'm just saying, at
Speaker 2: least I'm not if I'm gonna get bitched at right. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna get bitched at one time for the stuff,
Speaker 2: and I want to at least gain something, right, If
Speaker 2: I'm gonna get cussed out in all this suspicion. At
Speaker 2: least let me have had some passion about it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, for Pete's sakes.
Speaker 2: Not some flat white.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2: We also listen, says looks sick. See check it out
Speaker 2: sis sis.
Speaker 1: Oh, we're saying cis.
Speaker 2: Because we don't know our diet coke.
Speaker 1: Our diet coke sas sis on the side. And then
Speaker 1: there's like a little thing that we could sip, scan
Speaker 1: and share. We don't know what any of this means.
Speaker 2: Then we like Coca Cola.
Speaker 1: Other than that we needed a soda because nobody got
Speaker 1: us a flat white today or a non fat Hi,
Speaker 1: which honestly I would have gone out to lunch for.
Speaker 2: Why do you do the non fat? Is it just
Speaker 2: you don't like the milk fat? I don't like thick,
Speaker 2: as I got it.
Speaker 1: But I also don't like like a the other stuff
Speaker 1: that's not even milk.
Speaker 2: No, I don't like like an oa oat milk or
Speaker 2: an avocado milk or some other shit that everybody's doing.
Speaker 2: I just just drink.
Speaker 1: I drink milk when I was born, so I feel
Speaker 1: like Milk's okay.
Speaker 2: Did you like milk as a kid? I wasn't big
Speaker 2: on it.
Speaker 1: No, I'm but I had it in my cereal this morning.
Speaker 2: Oh nice whole half skim skim.
Speaker 1: I always do skim, just because I don't like the
Speaker 1: thick thickness.
Speaker 2: Just you know, half and half in my coffee this morning.
Speaker 2: I like half and half.
Speaker 1: You know what I do too? What if I'm at
Speaker 1: a diner, I love how we just go off on.
Speaker 2: You know what's your diner order.
Speaker 1: My diner order, if I have no concerns, is scrambled
Speaker 1: eggs with cheese.
Speaker 2: A side of hash brown Come on, waffle house. I
Speaker 2: can see it, I can smell it.
Speaker 1: Bacon well died, and a cur cooke crisp, a diet
Speaker 1: coke and a side of soured dough toasts.
Speaker 2: Okay, the only change is not a diet coke a
Speaker 2: regular coke, but the exact same.
Speaker 1: And then I mix it all together as if it's one.
Speaker 2: I don't mix it all together, but I have the
Speaker 2: exact cheesy eggs, cheesy eggs, cristy bacon. Now you know what,
Speaker 2: there's not a waffle house.
Speaker 1: No, there's not a waffle house here. And I got
Speaker 1: all excited. They opened to Norms near my house. Where
Speaker 1: is it it's closed, and Jerry's Delli's closed, like all
Speaker 1: the options for this, And I got to tell you
Speaker 1: these health food restaurants, they're terrible.
Speaker 2: They don't do they don't do it the same.
Speaker 1: They don't do it the same.
Speaker 2: I also like a good old grilled cheese, like a nasty, gripy,
Speaker 2: buttery grilled.
Speaker 1: Cheese dipped in uh, do you like it dipped in
Speaker 1: tomato soup?
Speaker 2: Not really? Just no? I like my I'm a pretty
Speaker 2: I'm appuriance with my grilled cheese.
Speaker 1: Okay, she's a purist.
Speaker 2: What about Mels? Do you go to Mells?
Speaker 1: I used to love Mels when I lived on Sunset.
Speaker 2: But there's one appear, isn't there.
Speaker 1: I don't like the layout for me. It's also it's
Speaker 1: not I love ambiance, but no.
Speaker 2: No, I like it. Like when there's a real diner
Speaker 2: with a counter. Yeah, I want to go on a
Speaker 2: diner tour.
Speaker 1: Sweet. Maybe that's our next thing. We posed giving advice
Speaker 1: to people.
Speaker 2: Local advice from macal, advice from diners.
Speaker 1: I've got a new show, pitch everyone.
Speaker 2: Diner diner talk, diner talk, Oh my gosh, diner talk.
Speaker 1: I would rather go diner than dinner.
Speaker 2: I'd got to go to a din. I like diners,
Speaker 2: me too.
Speaker 1: Did anybody ask any of these questions? Know, they didn't,
Speaker 1: But you guys can ask more questions for us next week.
Speaker 1: But next week is not going to be advice.
Speaker 2: Next week, you guys get to ask us questions and
Speaker 2: grill us.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm sure Erica will be open and ready.
Speaker 2: For Oh yeah, like Teddy, like Teddy, Teddy's going to
Speaker 2: be hold back, Teddy.
Speaker 1: This is why we love each other. We're Yin and Yang,
Speaker 1: Yin and Yang. Well, thanks guys for tuning in for
Speaker 1: another episode of Diamonds in the Rough. Uh. We were
Speaker 1: a touch ruff on the advice, but we think we're right.
Speaker 2: I think we're right.
Speaker 1: We're always right.
Speaker 2: We're conservative in our thoughts. You know, I don't.
Speaker 1: Really think about the other person.
Speaker 2: Well no, but I think that some of the advice
Speaker 2: that we've given is like, you know, look, you're going
Speaker 2: to pay for this. It's not worth it.
Speaker 1: We've most of these things we've already done. Fuck yeah,
Speaker 1: we've already done, and we know what the aftermath.
Speaker 2: It's just not worth it.
Speaker 1: It's just not worth it, is what we have to
Speaker 1: say here. Yes, thanks guys.
Speaker 2: Thanks, guys, Stay toxic.