1 00:00:00,320 --> 00:00:16,960 Speaker 1: Hi, guys, welcome to another episode of Diamonds in the 2 00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:18,680 Speaker 1: Rough with myself. 3 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:20,760 Speaker 2: And I'm Erica Jane. 4 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:25,759 Speaker 1: I forgot with myself my name afterwards, No, I no, guys, 5 00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:29,800 Speaker 1: I decided to come as dear Abby. I'm actually I'm 6 00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:31,040 Speaker 1: Sally Jesse Raphael. 7 00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:32,400 Speaker 2: I love Sally Jesse. 8 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:33,960 Speaker 1: Listen, well, who are you? 9 00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:35,639 Speaker 2: I don't know? 10 00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:39,280 Speaker 1: Guys. Essentially, we just really couldn't get our shit together today, 11 00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:42,040 Speaker 1: but we decided we'd be the perfect time to give. 12 00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:44,720 Speaker 2: You guys advice, right, so move help for dear Abby 13 00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:47,519 Speaker 2: because it's Dear Diamonds and we're going to give out 14 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:49,800 Speaker 2: some advice you've written to us. We're going to take 15 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:52,320 Speaker 2: a few of your questions and give our I don't 16 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:53,680 Speaker 2: know if we should be giving advice. 17 00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:56,240 Speaker 1: I mean, maybe we should write in and ask people 18 00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:57,480 Speaker 1: to give us. 19 00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:00,720 Speaker 2: I already do for free, I know, and I don't 20 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:01,080 Speaker 2: need that. 21 00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:03,480 Speaker 1: We don't want it. But apparently a lot of you guys, 22 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:06,440 Speaker 1: I don't know, why aren't. 23 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:08,120 Speaker 2: You tired of people giving you cancer advice? 24 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:12,639 Speaker 1: I'm so listen, I'm so sick of doing cancer press 25 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:17,720 Speaker 1: cancer advice. Yea, me and cancer are not simpatico anymore. 26 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:20,479 Speaker 2: No, it's just a silver It's. 27 00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:22,520 Speaker 1: I'm moving on. I want to get onto other people's. 28 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:24,400 Speaker 2: Problems just real quick. I'm wearing these because I have 29 00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:26,800 Speaker 2: allergies and I want to pluck my eye out, so 30 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:28,160 Speaker 2: it's just swollen under here. 31 00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:31,119 Speaker 1: Well I was wearing mine, but then it was hurting 32 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:33,080 Speaker 1: because it was pushing behind my ear on the wig. 33 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:36,200 Speaker 1: So now I'm just you know, I'm up next. I 34 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:38,560 Speaker 1: wanted to make it feel like more formal today. 35 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:40,720 Speaker 2: You know, I like I like these things that you're 36 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:41,479 Speaker 2: changing up with. 37 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:44,720 Speaker 1: Well, wigs are the one thing that I'm changing up, 38 00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:47,360 Speaker 1: and then just clothing is solely because the other clothing 39 00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:48,080 Speaker 1: doesn't fit. 40 00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:51,080 Speaker 2: For right now. It doesn't fit for right now, just 41 00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:54,120 Speaker 2: for right You know. You're still tiny though, that's but 42 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:55,720 Speaker 2: just not as tiny as you were. 43 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:58,160 Speaker 1: But it's not about that. It's about like the fitness. 44 00:01:58,160 --> 00:01:59,080 Speaker 1: It's like, I don't like that. 45 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:01,480 Speaker 2: I can feel well, you just don't feel like yourself. 46 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:03,360 Speaker 1: I don't feel like myself today. I got out of 47 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:05,680 Speaker 1: breath for my twenty minute walk on the treadmill. 48 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:08,920 Speaker 2: But you just had that the therapy, though, that takes 49 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:09,519 Speaker 2: it out of you. 50 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:13,960 Speaker 1: And I did the red carpet for the first time 51 00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:16,200 Speaker 1: you looked beautiful. Thank you. 52 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:19,279 Speaker 2: I was really proud of you. But know what you lose. 53 00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:20,440 Speaker 1: Like when you haven't done a red carpet in a 54 00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:22,280 Speaker 1: long time. And granted I didn't think it had been 55 00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:25,200 Speaker 1: that long, but I guess seventy, like our eighty six 56 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:26,799 Speaker 1: days is a pretty long amount of time. 57 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:28,200 Speaker 2: Oh, you counted the days. 58 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:30,880 Speaker 1: I counted the days because it was seventy six days 59 00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:32,679 Speaker 1: from when I did a surgery. I wasn't like, who 60 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:34,519 Speaker 1: when was the last time I did red carpet? 61 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:39,760 Speaker 2: The surgery. I was about to say the surgery, but 62 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:41,120 Speaker 2: I feel a little nervous. 63 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:43,680 Speaker 1: I didn't feel nervous, but my eyes didn't really know 64 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:45,440 Speaker 1: where to focus, like. 65 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:47,760 Speaker 2: Because I couldn't that be because you had some brain tumors. 66 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:50,240 Speaker 1: Well, I mean it could be, but I was with 67 00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:53,600 Speaker 1: Kyle and so they were yelling both of our names, yeah, 68 00:02:53,639 --> 00:02:57,000 Speaker 1: and so I would I would like find my eyes 69 00:02:57,040 --> 00:02:58,840 Speaker 1: being like and then I looked at her and I 70 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:01,359 Speaker 1: was like, she's staying in one. Okay, That's what I'm 71 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:03,679 Speaker 1: gonna do. And so then in eighty five percent of 72 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:04,480 Speaker 1: the photos, I'm like. 73 00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:07,400 Speaker 2: This, No, you look great. I saw them and I 74 00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:09,640 Speaker 2: saw your interviews I thought you spoke beautifully. 75 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:11,240 Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you so much. 76 00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:15,360 Speaker 2: All right, dear Diamonds, you ready, Yeah, I'm ready. Okay, 77 00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:17,880 Speaker 2: Dear Diamonds, I need advice on what to do about 78 00:03:17,919 --> 00:03:20,760 Speaker 2: an old friendship that I can't stop thinking about. I 79 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:23,639 Speaker 2: had best friends since tenth grade. We were so close, 80 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:26,399 Speaker 2: almost like sisters. We'd have arguments, but get over it. 81 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:30,080 Speaker 2: We went to university together. Is this person European because 82 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:30,919 Speaker 2: we say college? 83 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:33,760 Speaker 1: Oh, they they're either we went to university. They're either 84 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:38,280 Speaker 1: European or Canadian. Right, I don't know, but either way, 85 00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:40,680 Speaker 1: not Americans. Were you in eighteen? 86 00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:42,960 Speaker 2: I'm saying that's a bad thing. It's just nobody says 87 00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:43,720 Speaker 2: university here. 88 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:46,200 Speaker 1: We didn't go to universe. Neither of us went to university, 89 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:46,840 Speaker 1: so we don't know. 90 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:50,520 Speaker 2: No, we wouldn't know. No higher education over here. 91 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:52,920 Speaker 1: No, but ask us keep going. 92 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:55,880 Speaker 2: So then she met her boyfriend who's now her husband, 93 00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:58,760 Speaker 2: and she started to prioritize spending all her time with 94 00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:03,320 Speaker 2: him because I guess the husband now husband and the 95 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:07,560 Speaker 2: friend did not get along. They continued their friendship, but 96 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:12,200 Speaker 2: then at the beginning of the fourth year, she. 97 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:15,160 Speaker 1: Was tired of keeping the relationship separate. And she was 98 00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:17,960 Speaker 1: annoyed at the dumb little things. She did reach out 99 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,800 Speaker 1: to me once after I did that, and I had 100 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:23,920 Speaker 1: planned on responding but didn't. I was not planning on killing. 101 00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:25,919 Speaker 2: Killing the friendship. I did try to reach out to 102 00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:29,120 Speaker 2: her about two and a half years later. So basically 103 00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:35,320 Speaker 2: the question is twelve years since their sister like friendship ended, 104 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:39,960 Speaker 2: but she can't move on, and I keep thinking of 105 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:42,080 Speaker 2: how to reach out and rekindle what we once had, 106 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:43,360 Speaker 2: but I'm scared of rejection. 107 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:48,440 Speaker 1: Well okay, well here's what I'm going to say about this. 108 00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:52,200 Speaker 1: The friends that I truly enjoy the most are the 109 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:55,520 Speaker 1: ones that I don't need to see every day, and. 110 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:57,440 Speaker 2: You don't feel like you have to catch up with it. 111 00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:59,200 Speaker 2: It feels like you just pick right up where you left. 112 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:02,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, it feels effortless. And I think if she doesn't 113 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:05,040 Speaker 1: like your husband and you're still with him, and you 114 00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:07,760 Speaker 1: feel guilty for some of the things you've done in 115 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:11,520 Speaker 1: the past by you know, pushing her out in your 116 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:14,600 Speaker 1: words not mine, maybe you could just send her one 117 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:17,640 Speaker 1: little text message and just say, hey, listen, I've been 118 00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:22,799 Speaker 1: doing some you know, selinking self reflecting, and I'm really 119 00:05:22,839 --> 00:05:24,880 Speaker 1: sorry that I didn't make you more of a priority 120 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:26,200 Speaker 1: in my life. 121 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:29,039 Speaker 2: But I know that. Yeah, I'd like to change that. 122 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:32,080 Speaker 2: Let's see and see how they look. The bottom line is, 123 00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:33,919 Speaker 2: you don't know how you're going to be received until 124 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:36,000 Speaker 2: you do it. If it means something to you, you'll 125 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:36,520 Speaker 2: reach out. 126 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:38,680 Speaker 1: And if she's this big of a problem, like, here's 127 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:40,599 Speaker 1: the thing, there's a lot of my friend's husbands that 128 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:43,880 Speaker 1: I don't like, but I suck it down. I suck 129 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:45,680 Speaker 1: it down if they want to choose to be married 130 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:49,160 Speaker 1: to them. I'm not going to avoid my friend completely, 131 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:50,919 Speaker 1: like keep everything separate. 132 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:53,400 Speaker 2: It's really none of my business. If I'm friends with you, 133 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:55,960 Speaker 2: like I mean, I don't really care about your husband. 134 00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:59,440 Speaker 2: Does that makes sense? Like I could even do a 135 00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:02,560 Speaker 2: double day whatever. I'm cool. I'm friends with you. 136 00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:06,640 Speaker 1: The husband is, and I mean not many husbands are 137 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:07,520 Speaker 1: that funny anyway. 138 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:11,440 Speaker 2: But again, my friendship is with the woman, not with 139 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:13,159 Speaker 2: the guy. But that's my opinion. 140 00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:16,640 Speaker 1: But either way, I think send her one little message. 141 00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:19,320 Speaker 1: If she doesn't respond, maybe she's not the friend that 142 00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:20,920 Speaker 1: you had twelve years ago. 143 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,440 Speaker 2: Who is the same twelve years ago and college is 144 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:28,279 Speaker 2: a completely different mindset and obviously too if he's your husband, 145 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:29,080 Speaker 2: like he's first. 146 00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:31,520 Speaker 1: He's first, and he's gonna keep coming first. So I 147 00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:34,280 Speaker 1: don't really know what's gonna change unless things are a 148 00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:37,320 Speaker 1: little bit on the skids with your husband, kids and 149 00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:43,680 Speaker 1: you need to have that friendship that you originally had 150 00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:46,040 Speaker 1: with her, But it is going to change. You're married now, 151 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:49,480 Speaker 1: you possibly have kids, I don't know. 152 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:50,160 Speaker 2: Twelve years. 153 00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:53,279 Speaker 1: Yeah, we're both adults. There were both adults with little kids. 154 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:56,440 Speaker 2: Now well that's yeah, that's ship has sailed. Maybe you 155 00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:57,960 Speaker 2: guys can bond to her being mothers. 156 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:02,040 Speaker 1: You could, you, but you're ruationship is changed, yes, agreed. 157 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:03,640 Speaker 1: But if she won't respond to you, Like I have 158 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:07,159 Speaker 1: a friend that keeps reaching out to me through subtle ways, 159 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:09,160 Speaker 1: I don't respond. I'm not interested. 160 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:12,560 Speaker 2: Do you have a big friendship circle? I have like problems, Yeah, 161 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:13,200 Speaker 2: you do. 162 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:16,120 Speaker 1: I have like sections, Like I have like three groups 163 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:17,000 Speaker 1: of friends. 164 00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:18,520 Speaker 2: Right, and they all do different things, and. 165 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:20,400 Speaker 1: They all do different things, and they all meet like 166 00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:24,240 Speaker 1: we all meet different Yeah, but also none of my 167 00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:27,800 Speaker 1: friends really have expectations. But I would do anything for them. 168 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:29,560 Speaker 1: But if I have a friend that's like, it's my 169 00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:32,000 Speaker 1: birthday next Wednesday, And if you can't make it. I'm 170 00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:32,760 Speaker 1: gonna be pissed. 171 00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:36,000 Speaker 2: That's not a friendship. That's like you're out. Yeah, that's 172 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:37,400 Speaker 2: like five years old. 173 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:39,600 Speaker 1: I can't do it. I have no patience for it. 174 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:42,160 Speaker 2: No, and I never require that from other people. No, 175 00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:44,239 Speaker 2: if you can come, come, If you can't, that's great, 176 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:46,560 Speaker 2: you know whatever. Next time, I'd. 177 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:49,120 Speaker 1: Rather just then we'll go together and grab a drink 178 00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:51,880 Speaker 1: or go to lunch or do something else. Yeah, you know, 179 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:56,600 Speaker 1: I don't. I don't choose people's plans on how they 180 00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:57,760 Speaker 1: actually feel about me. 181 00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:01,880 Speaker 2: No, no, no, Amy, We would just like to say, 182 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:04,520 Speaker 2: send a text, reach out, see what happens. But I 183 00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:05,440 Speaker 2: wouldn't count on it. 184 00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:08,080 Speaker 1: But don't grovel, just say like I really miss you 185 00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:11,880 Speaker 1: and I apologize, but I'm what can I do that 186 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:13,920 Speaker 1: We can get back together and see if we can 187 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:17,320 Speaker 1: have some fun or but if she doesn't respond, move on. 188 00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:20,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, Amy, there's going to be other friends, right, Okay, 189 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:23,240 Speaker 2: Dear Diamonds. I'm a guy with a big crush. I'm 190 00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:25,480 Speaker 2: a male co worker, and I sometimes get the vibe 191 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:28,080 Speaker 2: that he might be into me too. We hung out 192 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:31,320 Speaker 2: outside of work, but I'm but always in groups. I 193 00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:33,160 Speaker 2: want to be more flirty and make a move, but 194 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:35,920 Speaker 2: I'm not sure he's into guys, and I worry it 195 00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:40,920 Speaker 2: could get awkward. Oh well, I got to tell you something. 196 00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:43,240 Speaker 1: This is anonymous please yeah, anonymous. 197 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:44,559 Speaker 2: Police, which I do too. Here's the thing, you got 198 00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:47,200 Speaker 2: HR issues. Don't do this if you don't think he's 199 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:50,080 Speaker 2: into guys. Do not make this move at all. Oh 200 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:51,360 Speaker 2: this is not a safe bet. 201 00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:54,720 Speaker 1: This is at nineteen eighty seven. We've got to be 202 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:56,040 Speaker 1: careful with the age on me. 203 00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:58,199 Speaker 2: Let me tell you something. You can't even tell anybody 204 00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:01,960 Speaker 2: they look cute. No, do you know that you're not 205 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:04,520 Speaker 2: allowed to even comment on someone's presence, like wow, I 206 00:09:04,559 --> 00:09:06,920 Speaker 2: really like those shoes, or you look beautiful today, which 207 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:10,559 Speaker 2: personally I like that. I don't appreciate that, and I 208 00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:11,360 Speaker 2: would have me too. 209 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:13,880 Speaker 1: I appreciated that when you did that, when you got 210 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:17,079 Speaker 1: when I got here today. Is that an HR issue? 211 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:22,840 Speaker 2: We don't have HR. I can guarantee that HR where guys. 212 00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:25,960 Speaker 1: I'm complaining because Erica gave me a compliment today and I'm. 213 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:29,880 Speaker 2: Offended well and also too. I mean, look, obviously you 214 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:31,600 Speaker 2: don't want to take away from those who have really 215 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:34,000 Speaker 2: been harassed and things like that, but telling somebody that 216 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:36,640 Speaker 2: they look nice. I think is just like noticing that 217 00:09:36,679 --> 00:09:38,280 Speaker 2: they put time into their appearance. 218 00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:41,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree, And also that you appreciate how they 219 00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:41,719 Speaker 1: appreciate it. 220 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:43,559 Speaker 2: Yeah, that they're well taken care of. 221 00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:45,560 Speaker 1: Or you might like it. Hey, where'd you get that? 222 00:09:45,559 --> 00:09:46,640 Speaker 1: I'd love to get it right? 223 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:48,680 Speaker 2: But where'd you get your genes? 224 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:50,959 Speaker 1: In regards to the guy not being sure, I would 225 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:54,480 Speaker 1: think that the other guy will come to you if 226 00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:55,200 Speaker 1: it's meant to be. 227 00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:57,840 Speaker 2: I just say, if you're not sure about one of 228 00:09:57,880 --> 00:10:01,360 Speaker 2: these things at work and it's in that work environment, 229 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:02,760 Speaker 2: do not touch it. 230 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:05,120 Speaker 1: Yeah. If we were not talking about work, if we 231 00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:06,440 Speaker 1: were talking about you've seen him out. 232 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:09,160 Speaker 2: Of all, of course that's a different story. But the 233 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:10,400 Speaker 2: work thing, no. 234 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:13,720 Speaker 1: Way, Nope. And then you have to sit like unless 235 00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:16,280 Speaker 1: you're planning on leaving and going to another job quickly. 236 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:19,360 Speaker 1: But even then, if it's not an HR issue, it's 237 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:22,680 Speaker 1: going to be an awkwardness issue. And it's not about 238 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:24,200 Speaker 1: if he's gay or not gay. What if he's just 239 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:26,000 Speaker 1: not into you? What if he is gay? 240 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:29,040 Speaker 2: But what if he's gay? But just it's like, yeah, 241 00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:31,680 Speaker 2: you're not my type. Yeah. Have you seen that balloon 242 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:34,880 Speaker 2: show where they pop the balloons. No, it's so good. 243 00:10:35,679 --> 00:10:37,880 Speaker 2: There's several. Have you I'm sure you've seen it. 244 00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:42,200 Speaker 1: I it's absolutely that's the whole show. It's like pimple Popper, but. 245 00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:44,679 Speaker 2: Ball So they bring so they line up either all 246 00:10:44,679 --> 00:10:46,880 Speaker 2: guys are all girls and they bring you know, a 247 00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:50,160 Speaker 2: guy or girl in and then it's so good. 248 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:52,320 Speaker 1: You pop the balloon and then you're with whoever. 249 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:56,040 Speaker 2: Well, they get to interview you. The host interviews why 250 00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:58,400 Speaker 2: did you pop your balloon? Yeah? 251 00:10:58,480 --> 00:10:59,199 Speaker 1: Yeah, okay. 252 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:01,840 Speaker 2: There's says the things, there's not my type, or I 253 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:04,920 Speaker 2: didn't like his teeth, or I'm just not really into 254 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:06,800 Speaker 2: guys like you. 255 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:08,280 Speaker 1: You know what, Teeth's a big thing for me. 256 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:11,880 Speaker 2: I've always known that teeth is a no. I've always no, 257 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,679 Speaker 2: I've known this about her. I've known this about her 258 00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:18,480 Speaker 2: for for teeth or you. And there's another there's a 259 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:20,120 Speaker 2: male friend of mine who was my trainer for a 260 00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:22,680 Speaker 2: long time, Alfonso already teeth are a big thing for 261 00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:25,200 Speaker 2: him too. Yeah, you are the two people that stick 262 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:27,240 Speaker 2: out to me that teeth are. Like you, guys both 263 00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:28,520 Speaker 2: immediately noticed teeth. 264 00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:33,280 Speaker 1: I immediately noticed teeth. Am I saying that every person I've 265 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:37,520 Speaker 1: ever known that I'm close with has perfection teeth, No, 266 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:41,600 Speaker 1: but it is to me if somebody has a dazzling 267 00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:44,679 Speaker 1: smile and it's not a big bunch of veneers. 268 00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:47,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, you notice those that you know what I was thinking. 269 00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:50,520 Speaker 2: I was getting ready today to come over here, and 270 00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:53,520 Speaker 2: Liyah and I were talking. We were talking about first appearances. 271 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:58,679 Speaker 2: And you are someone that really takes in all things 272 00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:00,920 Speaker 2: about people. You can tell well, this is the thing 273 00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:03,360 Speaker 2: that people don't know about Teddy. She can tell you 274 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:07,800 Speaker 2: what someone was wearing, like down from top to bottom. 275 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:10,319 Speaker 2: She will know what they were wearing. That he was 276 00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:13,360 Speaker 2: wearing these jeans, this T shirt. Her hair color was 277 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,440 Speaker 2: this dah da da da. I, on the other hand, 278 00:12:15,559 --> 00:12:17,960 Speaker 2: could not tell you anything that was happening. I don't know. 279 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:20,120 Speaker 2: What I do know is how I felt about that person. 280 00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:23,120 Speaker 2: But she can tell you everything. 281 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:25,920 Speaker 1: But I also need a picture of every human I'm 282 00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:28,040 Speaker 1: ever speaking about, Like it would be helpful for me 283 00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:33,640 Speaker 1: if I anonymous, please Anonymous please, or Amy Amy, because 284 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:36,319 Speaker 1: I think you can. If somebody's telling me a story 285 00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:38,120 Speaker 1: and I can't see the person, it's not to judge 286 00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:40,000 Speaker 1: the person, but it gives me more of an idea 287 00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:42,960 Speaker 1: of who the person is we're talking about. So like, 288 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,839 Speaker 1: if you were telling me about a guy with before 289 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,599 Speaker 1: she would even tell me the story, I'd be like, 290 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:47,400 Speaker 1: can I see a picture? 291 00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:49,480 Speaker 2: Yeah? She's very much like that, you like I need 292 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:52,280 Speaker 2: always you are that person. 293 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:05,920 Speaker 1: This one is. I have a friend who I've known 294 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,600 Speaker 1: for over thirty years, so I love very much. She 295 00:13:08,679 --> 00:13:10,760 Speaker 1: could give the shirt off her back to you. Only 296 00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:13,360 Speaker 1: thing is she stirs up drama and can be very manipulating. 297 00:13:13,679 --> 00:13:16,040 Speaker 1: When she wants something and she doesn't want to come 298 00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:18,000 Speaker 1: right out and ask for it. What she wants, she 299 00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:20,920 Speaker 1: will do things like invite you over and cook you 300 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:21,480 Speaker 1: a meal. 301 00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:24,840 Speaker 2: To so offen you. I know this type, but she 302 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:26,000 Speaker 2: does a lot. 303 00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:28,319 Speaker 1: To get her way, and my opinion, the tactic is 304 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:31,640 Speaker 1: very toxic. In my opinion, Anonymous, you don't like this person? 305 00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:35,640 Speaker 2: Well, I think that Anonymous feels used, and that's a 306 00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:37,920 Speaker 2: lot of it. I think that you know, these friendships 307 00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:40,520 Speaker 2: that we have, I don't like that. I don't like it. 308 00:13:40,559 --> 00:13:42,360 Speaker 2: If you need something from me, just be straight up 309 00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:44,160 Speaker 2: and ask me. Don't try to soften me, because then 310 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:46,200 Speaker 2: I feel like I'm being hustled and I don't like that. 311 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:47,120 Speaker 2: It's like when. 312 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:49,080 Speaker 1: People text you like, hey, how are you? And then 313 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:51,560 Speaker 1: the next text it and you're like you're good, I'm good, 314 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:53,680 Speaker 1: how are you? Blah blah, and then it's like can 315 00:13:53,720 --> 00:13:56,080 Speaker 1: you do bab bla. Then I'm like, f off, just 316 00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:59,080 Speaker 1: ask me, like I'll text somebody immediately and. 317 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,040 Speaker 2: Just ask for what I want. Yeah, that's my reason. 318 00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:04,160 Speaker 2: Hey Teddy, Hey Erica, can you x y Z? Yes 319 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:06,800 Speaker 2: I can? Or no, I can't this person? Should this 320 00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:08,680 Speaker 2: person be honest with this friend? 321 00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:11,480 Speaker 1: So do I keep the friendship and just keep him 322 00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:15,959 Speaker 1: at distance? No? If this person you think is a manipulator, 323 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,000 Speaker 1: why even bother? 324 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:20,080 Speaker 2: Well, she's fifty six years old and just doesn't want 325 00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:22,520 Speaker 2: to deal with drama anymore, and she considers this drama. 326 00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:26,840 Speaker 2: I'm anonymous considers this drama and if it's look, I'm 327 00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:30,000 Speaker 2: fifty four in like two months, I ain't fucking with 328 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:33,160 Speaker 2: nobody that's giving me drama, and I can't do this 329 00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:36,200 Speaker 2: no paid Yeah, well that's a yeah, I can do 330 00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:38,000 Speaker 2: paid drama. 331 00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:40,880 Speaker 1: But I think that you just take a little. 332 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:44,480 Speaker 2: But not listen. Friendships at this point in my life 333 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:49,280 Speaker 2: are meaningful. Relationships are meaningful or they're not happening at all. 334 00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:54,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree. I also think that. I'm curious if 335 00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:58,320 Speaker 1: Anonymous stopped reaching out to this person, if this person 336 00:14:58,400 --> 00:14:59,720 Speaker 1: would seek. 337 00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:02,480 Speaker 2: A lo He's a very good point. That is a 338 00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:05,440 Speaker 2: very good point. Maybe if Anonymous just stopped all communication, 339 00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:06,400 Speaker 2: this person might quit. 340 00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:09,360 Speaker 1: I think so too, because I think this person is 341 00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:11,600 Speaker 1: really just taking what they think they can get. And 342 00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:13,400 Speaker 1: if they think they can get something from. 343 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:14,440 Speaker 2: You, they'll keep trying. 344 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,560 Speaker 1: They'll keep trying. But if you just you don't really 345 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:19,760 Speaker 1: care about the friendship, take a little take a little 346 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:21,480 Speaker 1: fiver and see what happens. 347 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:24,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, take a break because it's using the word toxic. 348 00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:26,480 Speaker 2: Stay toxic, but not like this. 349 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:30,040 Speaker 1: Listen, I'm kind of over the word toxic. Not to you. 350 00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:34,200 Speaker 2: Well, no, it's old as hell, toxic, narcissist. 351 00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:39,680 Speaker 1: I'm over it. Trauma, trauma bonded, trauma bonded, none of it. 352 00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:40,760 Speaker 1: I don't want I don't. 353 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:41,480 Speaker 2: Want it anymore either. 354 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:42,240 Speaker 1: I'm moved on. 355 00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:44,360 Speaker 2: Yes, we've moved on. 356 00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:47,080 Speaker 1: Well, now we're guess what. This one's from Anonymous too. 357 00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:49,600 Speaker 2: Guess what? And she's eighteen years old and currently in 358 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:51,920 Speaker 2: a relationship with a man twenty years older than me. Ooh, 359 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:55,760 Speaker 2: let me take this all that broke? 360 00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:57,920 Speaker 1: I know I got so excited about. 361 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:00,480 Speaker 2: Let me take this. Okay, Dear dim, I's at eighteen 362 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,680 Speaker 2: years old and currently in a relationship with a man 363 00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:06,280 Speaker 2: twenty years older than me. So you he's what forty? Okay? 364 00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:09,600 Speaker 2: Both my family and friends are repeatedly telling me this 365 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:11,680 Speaker 2: is a huge red flag and there's a reason he's 366 00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:14,080 Speaker 2: not with someone around his age. Okay, hold on, I 367 00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:15,880 Speaker 2: have an answer for that. I like him a lot, 368 00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:18,360 Speaker 2: and I feel really comfortable around him. I'm sure the 369 00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:22,160 Speaker 2: only problem is he's recently becoming more controlling. What do 370 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:25,240 Speaker 2: you no way knows anything about that? Well, this is 371 00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:27,880 Speaker 2: tailor made for me. It feels like it feels like 372 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:30,760 Speaker 2: he's being overprotective, but I'm not sure that his intentions 373 00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:34,280 Speaker 2: are good. My family and friends have distanced themselves from 374 00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:37,280 Speaker 2: me due to this relationship. I don't have anyone to 375 00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:40,080 Speaker 2: get so okay, So Anonymous, let me tell you this 376 00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:44,160 Speaker 2: is standard for one of these relationships. Number one, forty 377 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,160 Speaker 2: and eighteen. Do I hate it? 378 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:47,720 Speaker 1: No? 379 00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:51,960 Speaker 2: No, I don't hate it. Is it a red flag? No? 380 00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:55,160 Speaker 2: Because this is what men do. A lot of them, 381 00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:57,160 Speaker 2: not all of them, but a lot of them. I'm 382 00:16:57,200 --> 00:17:00,520 Speaker 2: sure you feel comfortable around him because at forty men 383 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,480 Speaker 2: have a sense of who they are. They're probably he's 384 00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:07,479 Speaker 2: probably accomplished, made some money, he's experienced, he knows what 385 00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:10,760 Speaker 2: he wants. He's probably not out running the streets like 386 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:14,439 Speaker 2: a twenty year old or an eighteen year old controlling. Yes, absolutely, 387 00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:17,480 Speaker 2: And what he's doing is isolating you, my dear, and 388 00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:20,280 Speaker 2: then you end up, of course, your friends and family 389 00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:23,040 Speaker 2: fall away, and you focus solely on him. This is 390 00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:27,880 Speaker 2: what most men like this enjoy. This is what happened 391 00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:33,239 Speaker 2: to me. I totally focused on Tom, and you know, 392 00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:35,320 Speaker 2: a lot of my friendships fell away, and then I'd 393 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:38,720 Speaker 2: ended up just being Tom's life and living Tom's life. Now, 394 00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:41,080 Speaker 2: I'm not saying that's going to happen here, but I 395 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,080 Speaker 2: am saying that you're right on schedule. 396 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:46,520 Speaker 1: Yep. And also here's the thing. It's to me. It's 397 00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:49,359 Speaker 1: not the twenty years older. But if you're with a 398 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:53,120 Speaker 1: guy who's all this to me, something that Tom did 399 00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:56,320 Speaker 1: do is you didn't meet him twenty years older than 400 00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:58,760 Speaker 1: you and he had never been married before. 401 00:17:58,840 --> 00:17:59,240 Speaker 2: That's right. 402 00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:02,280 Speaker 1: I sometimes worry about somebody. 403 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:04,439 Speaker 2: Who's never been connected, right, he doesn't have you, right. 404 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:07,320 Speaker 1: So let's check some past relationships that's what I would. 405 00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:11,440 Speaker 1: I would delve into that a little bit because we're one. 406 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:14,320 Speaker 1: We're also not sure if he's thirty eight, thirty eight 407 00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:15,760 Speaker 1: and forty or big difference? 408 00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:16,280 Speaker 2: Do you think so? 409 00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:16,880 Speaker 1: I do? 410 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:18,640 Speaker 2: I think the difference is. 411 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:20,760 Speaker 1: I think forty. Like, if you're a man and you're 412 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,400 Speaker 1: forty and you've never been married yet. 413 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:22,800 Speaker 2: It's a big deal. 414 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:23,600 Speaker 1: You're a red flag. 415 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:26,080 Speaker 2: Yes, I think that if you're forty, you've been married, 416 00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:27,880 Speaker 2: you've had kids, or you've at least been married, you're 417 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:29,880 Speaker 2: divorced or whatever, you've had a couple of blown. 418 00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:32,320 Speaker 1: Out thirty five, we can still fudge it, I think. 419 00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:34,879 Speaker 2: I think so for thirty five, yeap, forty is a 420 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:35,280 Speaker 2: little like. 421 00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:39,000 Speaker 1: I see your point, But let's check into some past relationships. 422 00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:42,560 Speaker 1: If it seems like a very isolating time, then I'm 423 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:46,879 Speaker 1: worried he may once you get a titch older, he 424 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,959 Speaker 1: might be more controlling, and then he might get over 425 00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:52,160 Speaker 1: you and do this to somebody else. 426 00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:54,440 Speaker 2: She's young though, this is an eighteen year old person, 427 00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:55,040 Speaker 2: I know. 428 00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:57,240 Speaker 1: But what if he's That's what I'm saying. She can 429 00:18:57,640 --> 00:18:59,240 Speaker 1: start eighteen as well. 430 00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:03,120 Speaker 2: Oh, exes are eighteen, forget it. Run Yeah, But if 431 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:05,240 Speaker 2: all of his exes are eighteen years old, and if 432 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:07,320 Speaker 2: all of his exes by if he tells you that 433 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:10,159 Speaker 2: all of his exers are crazy, then you have a 434 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:11,840 Speaker 2: p and he's the crazy, the crazy one. 435 00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:13,480 Speaker 1: Also, is he hot? 436 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:15,720 Speaker 2: There are a lot of hot forty year olds. 437 00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:19,520 Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. If he's hot, more can be forgiven. 438 00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:24,439 Speaker 2: Of course, if he's hotter or paying your rent? 439 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:30,159 Speaker 1: Definitely, is he hotter paying your rent? Hot paying your rent? 440 00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:32,080 Speaker 2: You can look the other way for a long time. Girl, 441 00:19:32,119 --> 00:19:35,240 Speaker 2: you're eighteen, come back around when they want their rent 442 00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:38,160 Speaker 2: you're twenty one. Oh yeah, they will come back around 443 00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:39,000 Speaker 2: when you pay their rent. 444 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:43,600 Speaker 1: They will. Does he have a jet? Hold on? I 445 00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:46,280 Speaker 1: know what? This reminds me of what babe when Yolanda 446 00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:59,600 Speaker 1: sings if this was my plane, if this plane were mine. 447 00:19:56,480 --> 00:20:06,640 Speaker 2: You'll Londa who Foster? What am I looking at? 448 00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:10,680 Speaker 1: This is her music video to David Foster that I 449 00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:14,960 Speaker 1: hope Anonymous recreates for us and sends it. I'll post it. 450 00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:18,520 Speaker 1: I have never seen that, you know what? I like 451 00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:20,080 Speaker 1: to bring something new to the table. 452 00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:25,760 Speaker 2: My god, your face if this plane were. 453 00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:28,880 Speaker 1: I'm gonna put that out there for anybody. 454 00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:30,639 Speaker 2: No why are we singing about a plane? 455 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,479 Speaker 1: Because if this plane were hers, she could do anything. 456 00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:38,280 Speaker 1: She could travel the world. There's a lot that could 457 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:38,960 Speaker 1: happen if. 458 00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:41,639 Speaker 2: That's such an odd thing to sing about. 459 00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:45,000 Speaker 1: So either way we're getting you know, anonymous. 460 00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:46,120 Speaker 2: Dad, i'd write a song about a plane. 461 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:49,280 Speaker 1: No do you think? He barely lets me ride on 462 00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:52,280 Speaker 1: his plane, and when he does it's filled with sig smoke. 463 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:53,760 Speaker 1: Is he a smoker? 464 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:59,399 Speaker 2: Oh my yes, John, John, John should get you know what? 465 00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:04,120 Speaker 2: That's what? Oh my god, call your dad. 466 00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:06,600 Speaker 1: They could talk each other's ears off and. 467 00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:11,000 Speaker 2: Smoke and smoke. They boo American spirits. I thought she 468 00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:13,080 Speaker 2: was smoking Pea funks, but whatever. 469 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:14,639 Speaker 1: She switched to American spirit. 470 00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:17,720 Speaker 2: Okay, well, they could smoke American spirits, fly around on 471 00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:19,600 Speaker 2: the plane, talk each other's ears. 472 00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:21,639 Speaker 1: But I wonder if his plane is big enough because 473 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:24,760 Speaker 1: one time I went on a plane with Durie. We 474 00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:26,919 Speaker 1: were like it was like a sponsored thing. And we 475 00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:28,560 Speaker 1: got there and she was like this, hold on, and 476 00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:30,399 Speaker 1: she knew every detail about a plane, and she's like, 477 00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:33,359 Speaker 1: this is a bubble plane. I don't feel comfortable, And 478 00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:34,080 Speaker 1: I was like I do. 479 00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:38,120 Speaker 2: Well, look, the old Erica. 480 00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,200 Speaker 1: Probably wouldn't feel comfortable. But the new Erica is. 481 00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:45,840 Speaker 2: Like, let me on is fine with whatever. The new Erica, well, 482 00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:50,800 Speaker 2: it's not the it's the return to Derek. Okay, that's 483 00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:52,280 Speaker 2: what we need to do. We need to get your 484 00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:55,679 Speaker 2: father and Durite together. Oh I'm trying. It might be 485 00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:56,320 Speaker 2: a good idea. 486 00:21:56,480 --> 00:22:00,480 Speaker 1: The problem also is, but Duri can't have any beverages anymore. 487 00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:03,800 Speaker 1: He doesn't like when girls drink. 488 00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:08,800 Speaker 2: Alcohol. Oh but she doesn't get crazy. 489 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:09,800 Speaker 1: It doesn't matter. 490 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:10,920 Speaker 2: Oh that's his thing. 491 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:13,840 Speaker 1: Like he just he's never drunk. He's not. It's not 492 00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:15,200 Speaker 1: like he's a recovering alcoholic. 493 00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:17,600 Speaker 2: He's just like, he's just not a drinker. Doesn't like it. 494 00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:22,240 Speaker 1: But he feels like whenever he's in my opinion, girls 495 00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:25,080 Speaker 1: drink and then they get super chatty, I'm sure, and 496 00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:27,720 Speaker 1: he doesn't like it. And I don't think my sister 497 00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:28,639 Speaker 1: and I have helped. 498 00:22:28,359 --> 00:22:33,040 Speaker 2: That theory, the drinking or the chatting, because we'll sit. 499 00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:37,200 Speaker 1: There and we'll have champagne and then we're like. 500 00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:40,880 Speaker 2: Shut up. But maybe they could smoke cigarettes and talk. 501 00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:44,560 Speaker 1: They've met, I mean they didn't meet, and like they 502 00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:49,280 Speaker 1: met with his girlfriend there, Hi, Kristen, Oh my. 503 00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:51,040 Speaker 2: God, does she listen to the show. 504 00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:55,960 Speaker 1: I doubt it, So that's humiliating. Kristin. We love you, 505 00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:58,040 Speaker 1: but if it doesn't work out, we've got to read 506 00:22:58,080 --> 00:22:58,720 Speaker 1: here in the corner. 507 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,240 Speaker 2: Wait, we're saying he really has a girlfriend right now. 508 00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:03,240 Speaker 2: I thought he was single. I'm over here talking like that. 509 00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:06,040 Speaker 1: Oh he has a girlfriend. Oh my god, I'm sorry. 510 00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:07,200 Speaker 2: Sorry, I didn't know. 511 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:09,679 Speaker 1: I don't think Kristen's going to be upset about you 512 00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:12,560 Speaker 1: saying that one bit. Kristin is the coolest check ever. 513 00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:15,439 Speaker 2: I had no idea. Listen, I'm so very sorry. I 514 00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:31,439 Speaker 2: thought John was single. Now next questions, Oh God, here 515 00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:34,560 Speaker 2: you go. My husband suffers from anxiety, and it's very 516 00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:37,200 Speaker 2: up and down. We are in a down phase where 517 00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:40,439 Speaker 2: he has abruptly. He has anxiety about everything, but mainly 518 00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:44,760 Speaker 2: the future, dying, death, in general, his physical image. We're 519 00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:46,320 Speaker 2: thirty one, no kids and a dog. 520 00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:51,040 Speaker 1: What do you we're dnk wads? What's dnk wad? Whoa 521 00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:55,520 Speaker 1: hold on? This is a PSA dink wads is. 522 00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:58,960 Speaker 2: Dual income no kids. 523 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:02,920 Speaker 1: Listen, I'm I'm not interested in being a dink wad. 524 00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:04,520 Speaker 2: I would like to be a dink wad. I have 525 00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:07,080 Speaker 2: an adult kid and he's got his own shit, so 526 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:08,200 Speaker 2: he's no problem. 527 00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:10,120 Speaker 1: No, I don't know about dink wad. 528 00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:12,720 Speaker 2: I'd rather just lots of income. Yeah, me too. 529 00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:16,800 Speaker 1: He talks to a therapist here and there, but so 530 00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:19,800 Speaker 1: against medication. How can I help when I do not 531 00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:22,600 Speaker 1: suffer from the same anxiety. You know what I suffer 532 00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:23,160 Speaker 1: from anxiety? 533 00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:26,160 Speaker 2: So yeah, but you go and then I'll back them up. 534 00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:30,520 Speaker 1: He wants to start exercising more. I want him to, 535 00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:34,919 Speaker 1: but he's really into golf. For me, the biggest thing 536 00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:37,359 Speaker 1: with my anxiety is I don't want people that don't 537 00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:40,320 Speaker 1: have anxiety to try to tell me how to fix 538 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:41,000 Speaker 1: my anxiety. 539 00:24:41,119 --> 00:24:45,119 Speaker 2: This is true, or tell me to relax, this is 540 00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:46,160 Speaker 2: also true. 541 00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:49,680 Speaker 1: Also, if you decided that you were okay with being 542 00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:53,840 Speaker 1: somebody with anxiety disorder, which I have beyond belief, then 543 00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:55,840 Speaker 1: you kind of just sit there and you go through 544 00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:58,679 Speaker 1: the waves. And as long as he's not being I 545 00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:00,359 Speaker 1: was going to say a dick wad, but that's not 546 00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:02,480 Speaker 1: a dink wad. As long as you not having a 547 00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:05,359 Speaker 1: dick wad to you during his anxiety and he just 548 00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:07,640 Speaker 1: needs a little love and support, give it to him. 549 00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:11,399 Speaker 1: And then also maybe say you could go on walks together. 550 00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:13,840 Speaker 1: You could do things together, but don't start trying to 551 00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:16,320 Speaker 1: coach him through his anxiety when you've never struggled with it. 552 00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:18,200 Speaker 2: I agree with that, but also too, I think there 553 00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:20,239 Speaker 2: are some things I don't know how he feels about it, 554 00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:21,640 Speaker 2: Like there are some things you can do to take 555 00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:25,480 Speaker 2: away some of the effects of anxiety, like over caffeine. 556 00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:27,840 Speaker 2: I know this sounds stupid, but like even small things 557 00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:31,560 Speaker 2: can make a difference. If you're against medication, I'm on medication. 558 00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:35,919 Speaker 2: I had to. I was forced to, just not forced to, 559 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:38,080 Speaker 2: but I really was. My life kind of forced me 560 00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:40,320 Speaker 2: into it, like I I couldn't do it without it. 561 00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:43,439 Speaker 2: I will say this. I remember when I had my 562 00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:45,520 Speaker 2: very first panic attack when I was thirty years old, 563 00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:48,040 Speaker 2: and I did not know what it was, and it 564 00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:51,439 Speaker 2: can be terrifying and until someone said to me, you know, 565 00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:55,160 Speaker 2: you'll never die of an anxiety attack, and that really 566 00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,760 Speaker 2: just took everything down for me. But a lot of 567 00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:02,280 Speaker 2: it is you see a therapist. You know he sees 568 00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:04,720 Speaker 2: a therapist from time to time. Make that more frequent 569 00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:07,439 Speaker 2: because that does help. And if you sweat and you 570 00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:10,680 Speaker 2: run around and you do some other things and hang 571 00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:12,560 Speaker 2: out with people that have anxiety, because they know what 572 00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:12,919 Speaker 2: it is. 573 00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:16,400 Speaker 1: And also at this point, I have anxiety about even 574 00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:18,600 Speaker 1: going to therapy. But there are plays and this is 575 00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:21,240 Speaker 1: not an ad, but you can go to like places 576 00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:24,320 Speaker 1: like betterhelp dot com and you can see a therapist 577 00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:27,359 Speaker 1: online and not because booking appointments and doing all that 578 00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:27,879 Speaker 1: kind of stuff. 579 00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:30,240 Speaker 2: Sometimes I imagine where you are right now, everything is 580 00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:31,000 Speaker 2: really overwhelming. 581 00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:33,560 Speaker 1: It's annoying. Like I'm so excited that I found someone 582 00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:35,359 Speaker 1: that could do my blood work right down the street 583 00:26:35,359 --> 00:26:37,920 Speaker 1: instead of driving to Santa Monica. Not that I drive, 584 00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:38,840 Speaker 1: but have somebody else. 585 00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:40,400 Speaker 2: Driving right exactly. You have someone here. 586 00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:44,359 Speaker 1: Yeah, so it's but just give them a little time. 587 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:46,919 Speaker 1: And normally if you don't feel the pressure of your 588 00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:51,600 Speaker 1: significant other or person, it'll go away. But take action. 589 00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:53,960 Speaker 1: You got to move your body. You gotta breathe. You 590 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:58,600 Speaker 1: have to move your body for me meditation or either 591 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,840 Speaker 1: like I mean, I even go in the bathtub and 592 00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:04,560 Speaker 1: we'll put ice in it and like get that, like 593 00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:07,040 Speaker 1: and then it'll kind of go away. But if I 594 00:27:07,119 --> 00:27:10,399 Speaker 1: just lay there in my anxiety, it's very hard. That 595 00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:12,960 Speaker 1: being said, you're gonna have to have him called the 596 00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:16,320 Speaker 1: Dear Erica and Teddy Show because we don't want you 597 00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:17,280 Speaker 1: coaching him through this. 598 00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:19,800 Speaker 2: No, you have to, And unless you've actually like had 599 00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:22,119 Speaker 2: one of those heart racing moments where you thought you 600 00:27:22,119 --> 00:27:25,080 Speaker 2: were literally I remember like feeling like I was coming 601 00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:28,360 Speaker 2: out of my skins. I felt like I was literally 602 00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:31,479 Speaker 2: going to come out of my body. That is the 603 00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:34,920 Speaker 2: most uncomfortable place to be. I felt like one time 604 00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:37,280 Speaker 2: I was gonna throw myself out of a window, like 605 00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:40,400 Speaker 2: I'm going way, way way back. It just like felt 606 00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:44,359 Speaker 2: very uncomfortable around things like that can be crippling. 607 00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:48,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's social anxiety tied into it, then that's really strung. 608 00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:52,439 Speaker 1: If he also has social anxiety and it's infecting affecting 609 00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:56,840 Speaker 1: your relationships too. Just give him. Quit trying to make 610 00:27:56,920 --> 00:27:57,560 Speaker 1: him come with you. 611 00:27:57,400 --> 00:28:00,960 Speaker 2: You can't go. Yeah, you cannot make him. That's a 612 00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:04,520 Speaker 2: really he has to take those baby steps forward and 613 00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:06,679 Speaker 2: it's not going to just go away. No, I agree, 614 00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:10,680 Speaker 2: dear Diamonds. I recently turned twenty four, left my soul 615 00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:14,560 Speaker 2: sucking corporate job, and I'm moving to Charleston. Oh, you're 616 00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:19,200 Speaker 2: gonna be on from DC for my boyfriend of five years, Yes, 617 00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:21,439 Speaker 2: boyfriend of five years. We also have a dog together, 618 00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:23,399 Speaker 2: so I'm hoping to get a ring by the end 619 00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:25,600 Speaker 2: of the year. Anyways, I have no idea what to 620 00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:27,679 Speaker 2: do for a career and feel so much pressure to 621 00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:30,440 Speaker 2: make a shit ton of money and have everything figured out. 622 00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:36,760 Speaker 2: Do y'all have advice for navigating your twenties OnlyFans and 623 00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:41,440 Speaker 2: if I should prioritize saving and stability or taking risks 624 00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:44,480 Speaker 2: and going on adventures like OnlyFans. No, she didn't say that. 625 00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:46,640 Speaker 1: She didn't say it. We just added in the only. 626 00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:50,080 Speaker 2: Fans Jenna, And thank you for adding your name, Jenna. 627 00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:52,600 Speaker 2: Your twenties suck. I'm just gonna put that right out there, 628 00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:54,960 Speaker 2: your twenties. This is exactly where you need to be 629 00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:57,760 Speaker 2: in your twenties, not knowing what you're doing. Yeah, I mean, 630 00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:01,160 Speaker 2: I think that's that's par or the course of the twenties. 631 00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:04,360 Speaker 1: I mean, what, how old were you when you started 632 00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:07,160 Speaker 1: Erica Jane or you started the Housewives? 633 00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:12,560 Speaker 2: I returned to performing when I started my Ragadeen project 634 00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:16,120 Speaker 2: when I was like thirty four, yeah, and then Housewives 635 00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:19,920 Speaker 2: is like, how old am I forty three? 636 00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:22,840 Speaker 1: Yeah? I'm I think I started Housewives. So that then 637 00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:25,440 Speaker 1: turned into the pod all in by Teddy. It all 638 00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:28,240 Speaker 1: kind of happened around the same time, and I think 639 00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:29,840 Speaker 1: I was in my early thirties. 640 00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:32,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think when you're you're early I remember my 641 00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:36,240 Speaker 2: thirtieth birthday and feeling certainly more comfortable in my own 642 00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:39,280 Speaker 2: skin on that day. So the twenties, I mean provided 643 00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:44,240 Speaker 2: here's the thing, Jenna, don't do something you can't course correct, right, Like, 644 00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:46,920 Speaker 2: don't do something that you know is going to impact 645 00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:49,239 Speaker 2: you for the rest of your life. That's bad. So 646 00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:52,080 Speaker 2: you're allowed in your twenties not to know what the 647 00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:54,479 Speaker 2: fuck you're doing. Yeah, and you're allowed to, you know, 648 00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:57,200 Speaker 2: discover yourself. So don't be too hard on yourself. Just 649 00:29:57,240 --> 00:29:57,880 Speaker 2: stay busy. 650 00:29:58,160 --> 00:30:00,280 Speaker 1: And if boyfriend of five years is my can you 651 00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:03,640 Speaker 1: feel guilty about it and you're moving there and feeling 652 00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:07,240 Speaker 1: panicked because he lives in Charleston and blah blah blah. 653 00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:09,400 Speaker 1: But know what I have heard is pretty lucrative and 654 00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:12,000 Speaker 1: kind of fun to do while you're in Charleston is 655 00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:13,120 Speaker 1: be a real estate agent. 656 00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:16,120 Speaker 2: Really? Yeah, where'd you get this info? 657 00:30:16,360 --> 00:30:18,560 Speaker 1: Well? I got this info from my sister's friend who 658 00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:22,080 Speaker 1: has one there. Oh, so she's like a younger cute girl. 659 00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:25,320 Speaker 1: She is a real estate agent. She makes good money. 660 00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:28,200 Speaker 1: She has small children. She's able to live her life 661 00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:30,240 Speaker 1: but also do what she loves. But I don't know. 662 00:30:30,280 --> 00:30:32,080 Speaker 1: If you're not into real estate, then this isn't a 663 00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:35,440 Speaker 1: great plan. But if you're totally just looking to make 664 00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:39,440 Speaker 1: some money, Charleston is up and coming with these beautiful homes. 665 00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:40,560 Speaker 2: Oh my god, Charleston. 666 00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:43,280 Speaker 1: And it's not a long it's not a long process 667 00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:44,600 Speaker 1: to get your real estate licen. 668 00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:47,160 Speaker 2: No in South Carolina is so open for business and 669 00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:48,680 Speaker 2: really easy to do business in. 670 00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:52,440 Speaker 1: Or just slide into Craig's DMS. Let us know how 671 00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:53,640 Speaker 1: that I just call chperro'se. 672 00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:58,000 Speaker 2: We know Jenna has Jenna has a boyfriend, but she 673 00:30:58,080 --> 00:30:58,480 Speaker 2: may not. 674 00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:01,360 Speaker 1: She may not when she's what Charleston has to offer. 675 00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:04,560 Speaker 2: That's right, Charleston is great way to Charleston. 676 00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:05,720 Speaker 1: Let's go to Charles. 677 00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:08,600 Speaker 2: I want to go to I haven't been in so long. 678 00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:11,840 Speaker 1: Okay, Dear diamonds, is it wrong to secretly meet up 679 00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:15,160 Speaker 1: for coffee with an old, close male friend, even though 680 00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:20,880 Speaker 1: spouse is very jealous? I feel like life is short 681 00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:23,560 Speaker 1: and it's sad to miss out on important platonic friendships, 682 00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:25,640 Speaker 1: but hard to navigate with a controlling I got a 683 00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:27,400 Speaker 1: question for you. This was anonymous. 684 00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:31,360 Speaker 2: Okay, can men be platonic? No? 685 00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:34,840 Speaker 1: Can men? Or can men and women be friends? 686 00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:37,560 Speaker 2: I have male platonic friends that are straight. 687 00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:39,280 Speaker 1: Yes, I aren't your. 688 00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:41,959 Speaker 2: Bosses, that's right. I do. I have two or three. 689 00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:46,160 Speaker 2: It's never been inappropriate. They have their own thing. Now. 690 00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:48,120 Speaker 2: That is a very. 691 00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:52,240 Speaker 1: Very ram over twenty years, that's my point. But if 692 00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:55,000 Speaker 1: it's a new over twenty years. 693 00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:57,440 Speaker 2: When you kind of start out together and you're doing. 694 00:31:57,200 --> 00:32:01,000 Speaker 1: Like my high school friends, like we brought up chat Shep, 695 00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:03,680 Speaker 1: for example, I have been friends with since the seventh grade. 696 00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:05,719 Speaker 2: I was gonna say middle school. So like SHEP is like, 697 00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:08,680 Speaker 2: there's no way Shep's gonna try, no fucking way, and 698 00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:09,880 Speaker 2: there's no way You're every like. 699 00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:12,240 Speaker 1: I'm never gonna be interested. It's like we've known each 700 00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:16,800 Speaker 1: other too long. But also, what is your need so 701 00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:20,320 Speaker 1: much to have these friendships if you know it's gonna 702 00:32:20,360 --> 00:32:23,400 Speaker 1: upset your controlling husband, if you're really wanting to move 703 00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:26,640 Speaker 1: on from the controlling husband, leave the husband. 704 00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:29,080 Speaker 2: I think it's a yeah, you can't have your cake 705 00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:31,400 Speaker 2: and eat it too here because you're gonna pay the 706 00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:34,040 Speaker 2: consequences of meeting up with someone for coffee. If you're 707 00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:37,160 Speaker 2: married to control, you're really not into them. It's not 708 00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:40,360 Speaker 2: worth it. It's not it's not worth it. Don't do it. 709 00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:43,360 Speaker 2: And because you're just gonna pay, you're gonna pay, and 710 00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:47,720 Speaker 2: it's I I guess. Look, I'm also on the other 711 00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:52,640 Speaker 2: side of things looking back. Maybe you need Maybe this 712 00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:56,320 Speaker 2: person needs that sort of friendship or needs that and 713 00:32:56,440 --> 00:32:58,640 Speaker 2: is not getting it at home. But here's what ends 714 00:32:58,720 --> 00:32:59,240 Speaker 2: up happening. 715 00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:00,480 Speaker 1: She's gonna fall them. 716 00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:03,600 Speaker 2: No. But even if you don't, even if it's just 717 00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:06,840 Speaker 2: quote innocent, if that husband finds out the jealous control, 718 00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:09,960 Speaker 2: he's gonna assume it is exactly and then you're gonna 719 00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:13,200 Speaker 2: have to do all of this shit to convince him 720 00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:13,680 Speaker 2: that it is. 721 00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:16,400 Speaker 1: It wasn't an affair, it was just a friendship. 722 00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:17,800 Speaker 2: And you're emotionally cheating. 723 00:33:18,240 --> 00:33:20,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, and you know what, at that point you may 724 00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:24,160 Speaker 1: as well just cheat. So it's this, just don't do it. 725 00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:25,160 Speaker 2: Don't do it. 726 00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:28,720 Speaker 1: And if if your husband is if you love him 727 00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:31,760 Speaker 1: and he's an amazing guy, you can say to him. 728 00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:34,000 Speaker 2: Hey, I'm gonna go have coffee with so and so. 729 00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:37,240 Speaker 1: You know, me and John, we're gonna get John's it. Also, 730 00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:39,600 Speaker 1: I think It's also dependent if the person lives in 731 00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:42,560 Speaker 1: town or not. Like if I were to tell somebody 732 00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:46,920 Speaker 1: that was a controlling relationship person, Hey, my friend Ben. 733 00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:49,040 Speaker 2: Who's coming in from coming into town. 734 00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:51,160 Speaker 1: I haven't seen him in fifteen years. 735 00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:54,840 Speaker 2: Well I think also to look, we're grown women. We 736 00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:57,320 Speaker 2: should be able to be friends with everybody. But here's 737 00:33:57,360 --> 00:34:00,880 Speaker 2: what ends up happening. Certain things are us not worth 738 00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:04,720 Speaker 2: it. It's gonna cause problems at home, and it's not fucking 739 00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:07,200 Speaker 2: worth it. Now. If you're telling me, hey, I'm really 740 00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:09,759 Speaker 2: unhappy at home and I'm thinking about stepping out on 741 00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:15,399 Speaker 2: my husband, well that's another situation. But coffee, you're gonna 742 00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:16,400 Speaker 2: pay a price for that. 743 00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:19,640 Speaker 1: You're gonna get in so many fights over a couple 744 00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:21,319 Speaker 1: of coffee. That's not worth it. 745 00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:23,520 Speaker 2: I'd rather you fuck him and then just be like, 746 00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:25,960 Speaker 2: get some dick and be like, yeah I did. 747 00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:27,839 Speaker 1: And cause a scandal in your town. 748 00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:31,239 Speaker 2: Anonymous, Well, maybe not even, But I'm just saying, at 749 00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:36,160 Speaker 2: least I'm not if I'm gonna get bitched at right. Yeah, 750 00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:39,320 Speaker 2: I'm gonna get bitched at one time for the stuff, 751 00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:45,440 Speaker 2: and I want to at least gain something, right, If 752 00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:48,319 Speaker 2: I'm gonna get cussed out in all this suspicion. At 753 00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:51,040 Speaker 2: least let me have had some passion about it. 754 00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:53,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, for Pete's sakes. 755 00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:54,960 Speaker 2: Not some flat white. 756 00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:57,160 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. 757 00:34:57,680 --> 00:35:02,799 Speaker 2: We also listen, says looks sick. See check it out 758 00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:04,560 Speaker 2: sis sis. 759 00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:07,279 Speaker 1: Oh, we're saying cis. 760 00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:09,080 Speaker 2: Because we don't know our diet coke. 761 00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:11,359 Speaker 1: Our diet coke sas sis on the side. And then 762 00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:13,919 Speaker 1: there's like a little thing that we could sip, scan 763 00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:15,880 Speaker 1: and share. We don't know what any of this means. 764 00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:17,320 Speaker 2: Then we like Coca Cola. 765 00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:21,560 Speaker 1: Other than that we needed a soda because nobody got 766 00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:24,239 Speaker 1: us a flat white today or a non fat Hi, 767 00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:26,799 Speaker 1: which honestly I would have gone out to lunch for. 768 00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:29,640 Speaker 2: Why do you do the non fat? Is it just 769 00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:31,920 Speaker 2: you don't like the milk fat? I don't like thick, 770 00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:33,640 Speaker 2: as I got it. 771 00:35:33,719 --> 00:35:37,560 Speaker 1: But I also don't like like a the other stuff 772 00:35:37,560 --> 00:35:38,840 Speaker 1: that's not even milk. 773 00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:41,920 Speaker 2: No, I don't like like an oa oat milk or 774 00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:45,040 Speaker 2: an avocado milk or some other shit that everybody's doing. 775 00:35:45,440 --> 00:35:46,520 Speaker 2: I just just drink. 776 00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:49,439 Speaker 1: I drink milk when I was born, so I feel 777 00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:50,200 Speaker 1: like Milk's okay. 778 00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:52,000 Speaker 2: Did you like milk as a kid? I wasn't big 779 00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:52,319 Speaker 2: on it. 780 00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:55,000 Speaker 1: No, I'm but I had it in my cereal this morning. 781 00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:57,880 Speaker 2: Oh nice whole half skim skim. 782 00:35:57,960 --> 00:35:59,640 Speaker 1: I always do skim, just because I don't like the 783 00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:02,200 Speaker 1: thick thickness. 784 00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:04,840 Speaker 2: Just you know, half and half in my coffee this morning. 785 00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:06,560 Speaker 2: I like half and half. 786 00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:08,319 Speaker 1: You know what I do too? What if I'm at 787 00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:11,080 Speaker 1: a diner, I love how we just go off on. 788 00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:13,520 Speaker 2: You know what's your diner order. 789 00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:19,040 Speaker 1: My diner order, if I have no concerns, is scrambled 790 00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:20,440 Speaker 1: eggs with cheese. 791 00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:23,560 Speaker 2: A side of hash brown Come on, waffle house. I 792 00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:26,000 Speaker 2: can see it, I can smell it. 793 00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:30,400 Speaker 1: Bacon well died, and a cur cooke crisp, a diet 794 00:36:30,440 --> 00:36:33,880 Speaker 1: coke and a side of soured dough toasts. 795 00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:36,960 Speaker 2: Okay, the only change is not a diet coke a 796 00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:39,160 Speaker 2: regular coke, but the exact same. 797 00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:41,560 Speaker 1: And then I mix it all together as if it's one. 798 00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:43,560 Speaker 2: I don't mix it all together, but I have the 799 00:36:43,560 --> 00:36:48,520 Speaker 2: exact cheesy eggs, cheesy eggs, cristy bacon. Now you know what, 800 00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:50,080 Speaker 2: there's not a waffle house. 801 00:36:50,239 --> 00:36:52,560 Speaker 1: No, there's not a waffle house here. And I got 802 00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:55,319 Speaker 1: all excited. They opened to Norms near my house. Where 803 00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:59,040 Speaker 1: is it it's closed, and Jerry's Delli's closed, like all 804 00:36:59,080 --> 00:37:00,960 Speaker 1: the options for this, And I got to tell you 805 00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:02,640 Speaker 1: these health food restaurants, they're terrible. 806 00:37:02,719 --> 00:37:04,480 Speaker 2: They don't do they don't do it the same. 807 00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:05,479 Speaker 1: They don't do it the same. 808 00:37:05,680 --> 00:37:10,360 Speaker 2: I also like a good old grilled cheese, like a nasty, gripy, 809 00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:11,680 Speaker 2: buttery grilled. 810 00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:14,600 Speaker 1: Cheese dipped in uh, do you like it dipped in 811 00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:16,520 Speaker 1: tomato soup? 812 00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:21,560 Speaker 2: Not really? Just no? I like my I'm a pretty 813 00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:23,240 Speaker 2: I'm appuriance with my grilled cheese. 814 00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:24,440 Speaker 1: Okay, she's a purist. 815 00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:26,240 Speaker 2: What about Mels? Do you go to Mells? 816 00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:28,480 Speaker 1: I used to love Mels when I lived on Sunset. 817 00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:30,000 Speaker 2: But there's one appear, isn't there. 818 00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:33,719 Speaker 1: I don't like the layout for me. It's also it's 819 00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:36,239 Speaker 1: not I love ambiance, but no. 820 00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:37,600 Speaker 2: No, I like it. Like when there's a real diner 821 00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:39,480 Speaker 2: with a counter. Yeah, I want to go on a 822 00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:40,120 Speaker 2: diner tour. 823 00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:45,040 Speaker 1: Sweet. Maybe that's our next thing. We posed giving advice 824 00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:45,560 Speaker 1: to people. 825 00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:51,360 Speaker 2: Local advice from macal, advice from diners. 826 00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:54,520 Speaker 1: I've got a new show, pitch everyone. 827 00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:59,200 Speaker 2: Diner diner talk, diner talk, Oh my gosh, diner talk. 828 00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:01,040 Speaker 1: I would rather go diner than dinner. 829 00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:04,120 Speaker 2: I'd got to go to a din. I like diners, 830 00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:04,520 Speaker 2: me too. 831 00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:07,520 Speaker 1: Did anybody ask any of these questions? Know, they didn't, 832 00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:10,240 Speaker 1: But you guys can ask more questions for us next week. 833 00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:12,360 Speaker 1: But next week is not going to be advice. 834 00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:15,440 Speaker 2: Next week, you guys get to ask us questions and 835 00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:16,799 Speaker 2: grill us. 836 00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:20,960 Speaker 1: Well, I'm sure Erica will be open and ready. 837 00:38:20,719 --> 00:38:24,200 Speaker 2: For Oh yeah, like Teddy, like Teddy, Teddy's going to 838 00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:27,960 Speaker 2: be hold back, Teddy. 839 00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:30,279 Speaker 1: This is why we love each other. We're Yin and Yang, 840 00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:32,719 Speaker 1: Yin and Yang. Well, thanks guys for tuning in for 841 00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:36,640 Speaker 1: another episode of Diamonds in the Rough. Uh. We were 842 00:38:36,680 --> 00:38:39,040 Speaker 1: a touch ruff on the advice, but we think we're right. 843 00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:39,959 Speaker 2: I think we're right. 844 00:38:40,120 --> 00:38:40,960 Speaker 1: We're always right. 845 00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:45,240 Speaker 2: We're conservative in our thoughts. You know, I don't. 846 00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:46,400 Speaker 1: Really think about the other person. 847 00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:48,480 Speaker 2: Well no, but I think that some of the advice 848 00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:51,080 Speaker 2: that we've given is like, you know, look, you're going 849 00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:53,600 Speaker 2: to pay for this. It's not worth it. 850 00:38:53,680 --> 00:38:56,680 Speaker 1: We've most of these things we've already done. Fuck yeah, 851 00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:59,160 Speaker 1: we've already done, and we know what the aftermath. 852 00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:00,520 Speaker 2: It's just not worth it. 853 00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:03,160 Speaker 1: It's just not worth it, is what we have to 854 00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:05,080 Speaker 1: say here. Yes, thanks guys. 855 00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:06,560 Speaker 2: Thanks, guys, Stay toxic.