1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:12,280 Speaker 1: The Nicky Glazers. Here's Nikki. Hello, here I am. It's 2 00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:16,200 Speaker 1: a Nicki Glazer podcast. I'm the problem. It's me. Um. 3 00:00:16,239 --> 00:00:21,400 Speaker 1: Happy Tuesday. It's beautiful in Los Angeles. I resent it. 4 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:23,400 Speaker 1: I just wanted to be not nice one of these 5 00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:26,400 Speaker 1: days so I can. I can't stay in bed all day, 6 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:30,280 Speaker 1: have a long day, but man, it is Um. I 7 00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:32,560 Speaker 1: had a fantasy yesterday that I wish that I got 8 00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:35,519 Speaker 1: hit by like an air conditioner unit or like a 9 00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:38,000 Speaker 1: car and I didn't feel it, but I just woke 10 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:40,600 Speaker 1: up in a hospital bed and they're like, you can't 11 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:45,680 Speaker 1: move for the next three months. Um. That was like 12 00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:48,360 Speaker 1: my fantasy, A whole blown fantasy I had of like 13 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:50,080 Speaker 1: I don't want to feel the pain, but I just 14 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:51,960 Speaker 1: want to open my eyes and like be Like the 15 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:54,200 Speaker 1: last thing I remember was walking down the street and 16 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:56,240 Speaker 1: then all of a sudden people are around me being 17 00:00:56,280 --> 00:01:00,360 Speaker 1: and there's like beep beep beep, and like and see 18 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:05,640 Speaker 1: through gauze and someone's feeding me like peaches. And I 19 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:08,520 Speaker 1: get to just be in bed for three months and 20 00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:11,080 Speaker 1: have people take care of me when I got my operations, 21 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:14,440 Speaker 1: said Mr Mr Lady two days ago. Maybe that's what 22 00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:17,720 Speaker 1: it caused it. Remember in Adam Sandler's movie or no 23 00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:21,720 Speaker 1: Ben Stiller, Oh no no? Or is it Adam Sandler 24 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:25,520 Speaker 1: who gets hit with the air conditioner falls? And oh 25 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:31,240 Speaker 1: maybe that was Billy Madison. I feel like because his mom, 26 00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:35,560 Speaker 1: his mom, his grandma's in a nursing home. Yeah, you 27 00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:38,040 Speaker 1: know your your fingers hurry, Well, your back's gonna hurt 28 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:40,200 Speaker 1: because you got Oh yeah, it's Ben Stiller's role in 29 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:43,480 Speaker 1: I'm really glad we went down this. I'm just saying 30 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:46,959 Speaker 1: it's probably what caused a dream of the air conditioner thing. No, 31 00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:49,280 Speaker 1: I'm just like thinking of what what can make you 32 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:52,520 Speaker 1: like incapacitated really fast? Where people just that's what I want, 33 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:54,400 Speaker 1: is like I love when people are in car accidents 34 00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:56,120 Speaker 1: and they wake up and they go, I didn't even 35 00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:58,080 Speaker 1: remember it, because that's my biggest fear. It's like being 36 00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:00,560 Speaker 1: in an accident and going no, no, no, no no, 37 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:02,560 Speaker 1: which is what happened when I almost got hit by car. 38 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,560 Speaker 1: I go no, no, no no, I did get hit 39 00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:06,480 Speaker 1: my car, and I remember saying no, no, no, no. 40 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:10,600 Speaker 1: But I just wish I just I'm exhausted. I'm just 41 00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:13,400 Speaker 1: like I am too. I just don't know what the 42 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:16,320 Speaker 1: people who can say every morning and go like, I'm 43 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:20,520 Speaker 1: so excited to be awake. What is that like? And 44 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:22,840 Speaker 1: what is that like? To want kids? Like my friends 45 00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:26,920 Speaker 1: who want kids, Why would you want more responsibility in life? 46 00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:31,119 Speaker 1: I just don't understand it. I feel so disconnected from 47 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:34,560 Speaker 1: my fellow American because I don't want kids. I want 48 00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:37,520 Speaker 1: things to make my life easier. I just don't want. 49 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:39,440 Speaker 1: I don't want to. I don't want to do any 50 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:41,760 Speaker 1: more things. But I feel compelled to always say yes 51 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:45,240 Speaker 1: to everything because I feel like other people. I'm just 52 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:49,000 Speaker 1: jealous of people who don't need sleep as much as 53 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:52,720 Speaker 1: I do like I need. I slept eight hours last 54 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:56,920 Speaker 1: night and I want more. It's not enough. I'm gonna 55 00:02:56,919 --> 00:02:58,920 Speaker 1: I want to I cancel the lunch I have today 56 00:02:58,919 --> 00:03:01,440 Speaker 1: because I need more of an up today. And I 57 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:02,960 Speaker 1: can't even get that nap because I have to be 58 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:04,560 Speaker 1: on TV in two days and I don't have ear 59 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:06,120 Speaker 1: rings for it because I left my earrings the other 60 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,120 Speaker 1: day at this Jimmy fallon taping and I have to 61 00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:09,840 Speaker 1: go buy ear rings and that is stressing me out 62 00:03:09,919 --> 00:03:12,880 Speaker 1: so much. To get ear rings. I don't know what 63 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:16,079 Speaker 1: kind I want. I don't know where to go. Oh, 64 00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:19,120 Speaker 1: it's just like one of those days. What what dumb 65 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:22,720 Speaker 1: problems to have? But like that is what is distressing me. 66 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:24,600 Speaker 1: I have to do a podcast later, and I feel 67 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:26,880 Speaker 1: like all their fans hate women, and I'm just gonna 68 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:29,200 Speaker 1: go on. And I don't even know how to act 69 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:32,040 Speaker 1: because if I act myself, then they won't like me. 70 00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:33,560 Speaker 1: And if I try to act the way they want 71 00:03:33,639 --> 00:03:35,240 Speaker 1: me to, then I have to give away a part 72 00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:37,880 Speaker 1: of myself. It's just like I don't even know what 73 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:40,520 Speaker 1: to do. Like I feel like there's no winning. I'm 74 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:43,120 Speaker 1: just gonna make new enemies, like no one's gonna be one. 75 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:46,480 Speaker 1: It's like Trump voters or even Biden voters, like we're 76 00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:48,880 Speaker 1: never gonna be swayed the other way. They already don't 77 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:51,000 Speaker 1: like me. Why am I even going on this podcast? 78 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:54,880 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna make more enemies. Um, what time did 79 00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:57,520 Speaker 1: you go to about? Did you have spots last night? No? 80 00:03:57,720 --> 00:04:00,960 Speaker 1: I didn't have these spots last night. You couldn't fall 81 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:04,200 Speaker 1: asleep early when you at at twelve and I woke 82 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:08,360 Speaker 1: up at eight. All right, I mean it's not bad. 83 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:11,480 Speaker 1: I mean, I mean there's no judgment, but it's like 84 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:15,160 Speaker 1: a judgment I'm saying I went to bed, I had 85 00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:18,480 Speaker 1: eight hours of sleep, which is what people get, and 86 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:20,479 Speaker 1: I'm saying it's still not enough. I'm not saying I 87 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:26,039 Speaker 1: didn't get enough sleep already want more, when really most 88 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:29,800 Speaker 1: people needs six to nine hours of sleep. I mean 89 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:32,080 Speaker 1: eight is actually more sleep than most people get, and 90 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:34,280 Speaker 1: it's still not enough for me? What is wrong with me? 91 00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:37,520 Speaker 1: Why does everyone, like everyone I know is like I 92 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:39,479 Speaker 1: had six hours last night, and I'm still going like 93 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:43,720 Speaker 1: there's this like mentality of as we know, the capitalistic, 94 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:47,200 Speaker 1: like American mentality of like less sleep more work, like 95 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:50,320 Speaker 1: if you work more, you're more worthy of love, and 96 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:53,800 Speaker 1: like I just I don't know. I'm just exhausted by 97 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:56,000 Speaker 1: Some people have no choice. They just have to get 98 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:58,760 Speaker 1: up and go to their S S d J. And 99 00:04:58,839 --> 00:05:00,560 Speaker 1: they just need to keep that a S S DJ 100 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:03,240 Speaker 1: for now because everything has gone up so much and 101 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:06,400 Speaker 1: they just have to deal with it, I know. But 102 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:08,839 Speaker 1: they still go out on the weekends, like they still 103 00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:11,040 Speaker 1: go to Halloween parties, whereas if I had an S 104 00:05:11,040 --> 00:05:12,839 Speaker 1: S d J, I would not go to Halloween parts. 105 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:14,960 Speaker 1: People still want kids and they have an S S 106 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:17,040 Speaker 1: d J, like if I had that, which I do. 107 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:21,000 Speaker 1: I do have crazy hours that keep me sleepless, Like 108 00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:22,840 Speaker 1: I'm not going to sleep from Wednesday and get a 109 00:05:22,839 --> 00:05:27,799 Speaker 1: good night sleep from Wednesday until Tuesday, uh starting tomorrow 110 00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:29,440 Speaker 1: because of all the travel and all the work I 111 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:31,200 Speaker 1: have to do. So I get it, but I don't 112 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:34,000 Speaker 1: want kids, Like I'm making choices that don't add more 113 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,680 Speaker 1: stress in my life, but I wish that I did 114 00:05:35,839 --> 00:05:39,360 Speaker 1: want kids. That makes any sense? Why do people want 115 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:42,360 Speaker 1: kids when they already are exhausted. All my friends are exhausted, 116 00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:46,080 Speaker 1: and they're still trying to have kids. What's wrong with me? 117 00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:55,000 Speaker 1: It's still My point is that that you even on 118 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:57,960 Speaker 1: a non work day, stay up till twelve o'clock. A 119 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:00,240 Speaker 1: lot of these people are going to bed. Your saying, 120 00:06:00,279 --> 00:06:02,440 Speaker 1: oh they're early morning riders. They go to fucking sleep 121 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:08,280 Speaker 1: at ten pm. The people that most people in America 122 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:11,560 Speaker 1: exists on six hours of sleep at night, and that 123 00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:15,159 Speaker 1: is so little sleep. But most people do that regardless 124 00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:16,839 Speaker 1: of it, no matter what time they're going to sleep. 125 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:21,160 Speaker 1: I'm saying, why do people like to add more stress 126 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:24,200 Speaker 1: to their lives? Like my friend, like Anya wants to 127 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:27,479 Speaker 1: go She's someone who likes leisure life. She was like, 128 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:30,560 Speaker 1: is dying to go stay at her parents house and 129 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:32,880 Speaker 1: like gut their house and like redo it so that 130 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:35,039 Speaker 1: they can like sell it. She's like so excited about 131 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:37,320 Speaker 1: the idea of that, and I'm like, why am I 132 00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:39,440 Speaker 1: not a woman who wants to do stuff like that. 133 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:41,280 Speaker 1: I don't want to do any of this stuff, Like 134 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:45,560 Speaker 1: I just can't, Like I can't you fill you fill 135 00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:48,159 Speaker 1: all your time with other ship. You're not just sitting 136 00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:51,000 Speaker 1: there idle. If you were someone that goes I don't 137 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:53,240 Speaker 1: want to do any of this, and then you don't 138 00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:55,920 Speaker 1: do anything and you're just sitting there. I don't do anything. 139 00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:59,640 Speaker 1: I don't do anything. I do a podcast. I sit 140 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:01,640 Speaker 1: down at record a podcast, and then I just send 141 00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:03,400 Speaker 1: files and then I go lay in bed and I 142 00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:06,200 Speaker 1: read a book until I fall asleep. Then I wake up, 143 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:09,880 Speaker 1: I eat, I eat, I get a coffee, and then 144 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:11,800 Speaker 1: I go back into bed and read a book until 145 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:15,480 Speaker 1: I fall asleep, and then I eventually maybe do something 146 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:17,680 Speaker 1: because Chris is like, I'm getting off work, Let's go 147 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:19,360 Speaker 1: to dinner. So then I go to dinner and I'm 148 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:22,880 Speaker 1: still so tired. And then if I have sets, I'll 149 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:24,880 Speaker 1: go do them, but they just show up. It's not 150 00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:27,280 Speaker 1: like I'm like, I don't know. It's not the same 151 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,040 Speaker 1: as like I want to go have a kid, Like, 152 00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:31,040 Speaker 1: it's not It's not a choice for me, Like my 153 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:33,800 Speaker 1: sets are an s SDJ. They're not a choice. They 154 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:35,840 Speaker 1: have to be done in order for me to make 155 00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:38,400 Speaker 1: money and make a living. I'm talking about adding other 156 00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:42,680 Speaker 1: things to your life, like parties, socializing, dinners, fall pots, 157 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:48,080 Speaker 1: meal prep, cooking um, decorating your house, buying nuisconsins, buying 158 00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:51,040 Speaker 1: bed linens, going shopping with your friends, going to buy 159 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:54,200 Speaker 1: new earrings, having kids, buying a new car, going to 160 00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:57,040 Speaker 1: look at real estate, going um, like these are all 161 00:07:57,080 --> 00:07:59,640 Speaker 1: things that I'm just like, why how does anyone have 162 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:02,119 Speaker 1: hob us and add to their life these stressful things? 163 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:04,120 Speaker 1: Or like go to the zoo with your niece and 164 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:07,240 Speaker 1: nephew go like everything feels like a chore to me. 165 00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:12,640 Speaker 1: Everything as someone that is very similar to you in 166 00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:15,520 Speaker 1: the sense of like if I lost something, or if 167 00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:17,840 Speaker 1: I like have to go buy something, I overthink it, 168 00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:20,320 Speaker 1: like funk, I gotta go to Target, I gotta go 169 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:22,480 Speaker 1: down the aisle, I gotta see people, I gotta be 170 00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:24,960 Speaker 1: around people. I gotta find parking. Like all those thoughts 171 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,480 Speaker 1: go through my head and and then it paralyzes me 172 00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:31,120 Speaker 1: and then I don't do ship. But lately, somehow, like 173 00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:34,040 Speaker 1: last night, Brenna was like, I could really I really 174 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:36,160 Speaker 1: need tampons and drain Oh. I don't know if that 175 00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:40,120 Speaker 1: goes together, but um, and I was like, and I 176 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:43,199 Speaker 1: was like, I'll just go. I'll just go drain O 177 00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:44,880 Speaker 1: that kind of thing that you could drink and it 178 00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:50,040 Speaker 1: would flush all your period out poured in straight. Yeah, 179 00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:53,600 Speaker 1: and uh. And I was like, I just went to Target, 180 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:56,720 Speaker 1: and I realized these things they take fucking thirty minutes. 181 00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:59,360 Speaker 1: Like there, we put them on a pedestal. They're so 182 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:01,880 Speaker 1: easy to do, and we're like, how can these people 183 00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:05,040 Speaker 1: do them? That doesn't stress me out at all. Going 184 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:07,480 Speaker 1: to get draino and tampons for my girlfriend would not 185 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:08,960 Speaker 1: stress me out because that you know where to go. 186 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:12,440 Speaker 1: There's one place to get it, Target, Schnooks, deer Berg's, Walgreen, 187 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:14,360 Speaker 1: so you can get all that there. When I'm getting 188 00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:16,840 Speaker 1: ear rings, it's like, do I get gold plated? Do 189 00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:18,400 Speaker 1: I get gold? Do I spend a lot of money 190 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:20,160 Speaker 1: on that? Do I go to Forever twenty one and 191 00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:21,760 Speaker 1: just get shitty ones? Do I go to Target and 192 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:24,520 Speaker 1: just get shitty ones. Do I order online? Do I 193 00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:26,760 Speaker 1: order from posh Mark? Like, that's what I'm talking about. 194 00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:29,120 Speaker 1: I'm talking about when I walked down Montana Avenue and 195 00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:33,640 Speaker 1: like fucking Santa Monica, and there's eighteen different skin places 196 00:09:33,679 --> 00:09:35,679 Speaker 1: where I can go and make my skin better so 197 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:38,079 Speaker 1: that people like me more, and I just don't. There's 198 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:41,280 Speaker 1: there's four different pilate studios within five blocks. Which one 199 00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:44,120 Speaker 1: do you go to? How does anyone make a choice? Yeah, 200 00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:46,440 Speaker 1: but I get what you're saying to of like, just 201 00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:51,280 Speaker 1: you know, you just do it, You just pick one. 202 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:53,160 Speaker 1: I don't even think that your thing is a chore. 203 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:54,760 Speaker 1: Your thing is like a thing you have to do. 204 00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:58,079 Speaker 1: Brennan needs tampons, Brenda, you guys need drain No because 205 00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:01,680 Speaker 1: you like ship a lot, but like because she's flushing 206 00:10:01,679 --> 00:10:05,360 Speaker 1: her tampons, Like you guys need these things. I'm talking 207 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:09,240 Speaker 1: about when people are like I want to go like 208 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:12,640 Speaker 1: like I don't know redo landscape my yard. I want 209 00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:14,360 Speaker 1: a new yard. I want to like my yard to 210 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:17,040 Speaker 1: look nice, or I want to redo my kitchen. I 211 00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:20,760 Speaker 1: don't like this granite countertop. I in a million years 212 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:23,840 Speaker 1: would never give a fuck about New Granite Town or top. 213 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:27,640 Speaker 1: It would never occur to me that would require looking 214 00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:30,320 Speaker 1: at new granite, having an expert come over, and having 215 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:32,200 Speaker 1: to be like, do you want some water? Oh, the 216 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:34,720 Speaker 1: weather outside is nice? All this bullshit small talk. How 217 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:36,559 Speaker 1: long have you been working for this business? They get 218 00:10:36,559 --> 00:10:38,240 Speaker 1: out their big book, you flip through it, They have 219 00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:40,360 Speaker 1: you to talk to them for like an hour, when 220 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:42,200 Speaker 1: I would just want to pick out things online and 221 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:44,400 Speaker 1: just guess. But like I have a boyfriend, like Chris, 222 00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:46,480 Speaker 1: if we ever got a house, he would want to like, 223 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,120 Speaker 1: go to the store, look at the granite tile, take 224 00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:51,320 Speaker 1: it back samples, hold them up. If we don't like 225 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,560 Speaker 1: that one, we can go get another one. We like 226 00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:56,439 Speaker 1: these people that like to be meticulous and choose the 227 00:10:56,559 --> 00:11:00,319 Speaker 1: right thing like and they enjoy that process. I again, 228 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:02,640 Speaker 1: it goes back to like Cris being like one time 229 00:11:02,679 --> 00:11:04,560 Speaker 1: when I told him I wish I like to travel, 230 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:07,199 Speaker 1: He's like, why do you wish that you liked things 231 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:10,480 Speaker 1: you don't like? What is that about you? Like? Why 232 00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:12,840 Speaker 1: are you someone who wants I just don't like the 233 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,720 Speaker 1: things I don't like, and I like the things I 234 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:16,960 Speaker 1: do like. I don't wish I liked things I don't 235 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,800 Speaker 1: like unless they're like, you know, working out or something 236 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:22,320 Speaker 1: that's going to give you something else, But I just 237 00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:25,360 Speaker 1: I want to be normal. I guess that's the thing. 238 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:28,360 Speaker 1: I think. You wish for things that the majority of 239 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:31,600 Speaker 1: people are, so then you feel constantly like an outcast 240 00:11:31,679 --> 00:11:35,400 Speaker 1: because most people like these things. Yeah, I mean, look 241 00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:37,320 Speaker 1: at the kitchen. You fix the kitchen, then you can't 242 00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:39,640 Speaker 1: even go in the kitchen for nine months. There's people 243 00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:43,599 Speaker 1: in your house all the time. Things, you have to 244 00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:46,640 Speaker 1: live in a hotel because you're redoing your house that 245 00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:48,640 Speaker 1: you're just gonna move out of in two years because 246 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:50,520 Speaker 1: you're gonna have two more kids and it's not big 247 00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:54,080 Speaker 1: enough for us. Like Chris's brother is like thinking about 248 00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:56,160 Speaker 1: redoing their house, and I'm like, why are you going 249 00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:57,720 Speaker 1: to do that? You can't even live in your house. 250 00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:59,959 Speaker 1: You're gonna have construction workers you. Yeah, you have plast 251 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,960 Speaker 1: stick on the floor, there's sawdust everywhere, there's constantly trucks 252 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:08,160 Speaker 1: in your driveway. Like why. I mean, Chris and I 253 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:09,960 Speaker 1: went and looked at a place the other day and 254 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:13,400 Speaker 1: it's perfectly like redone, like everything's been done. And Chris 255 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:15,240 Speaker 1: even finds something that he's like, I would tear that 256 00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:16,959 Speaker 1: out and redo that, and I'm like, I'm not taking 257 00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:18,880 Speaker 1: this plate. Then I don't want to do reading. I 258 00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:21,600 Speaker 1: want to walk into it's already done. I don't go 259 00:12:21,679 --> 00:12:25,359 Speaker 1: to a restaurant, and that's why I hate table side guacamole. 260 00:12:25,559 --> 00:12:27,400 Speaker 1: I go make it in the kitchen. I don't need 261 00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:28,959 Speaker 1: to see you do this ship. I don't want to 262 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:35,480 Speaker 1: be a part of the process. I don't order. I 263 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:39,720 Speaker 1: don't order a salad and want to mix the dressing 264 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:42,000 Speaker 1: at my table. I don't want to chop the tomatoes. 265 00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:44,280 Speaker 1: Like we went to a Greek restaurant on The Girl's Trip, 266 00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:47,480 Speaker 1: Remember that Noah and the vegetables all came out like 267 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:52,560 Speaker 1: gigantic heads of broccoli, heads of cauliflower, an onion that 268 00:12:52,679 --> 00:12:54,079 Speaker 1: is just a whole onion, and they serve it on 269 00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:56,080 Speaker 1: this big plate. It's all cooked, but you have to 270 00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:58,679 Speaker 1: like cut it yourself. And I go, what is this? 271 00:12:58,679 --> 00:13:01,439 Speaker 1: This is like? This is Chris's dream. It's like a 272 00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:09,360 Speaker 1: project like food. You like mixing appetizers together. That's a start, 273 00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:13,760 Speaker 1: you like, And if I could buy it in together. 274 00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:17,920 Speaker 1: You know, I'm just bitching about the same things over 275 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:19,560 Speaker 1: and over. It's like when I get depressed I just 276 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:21,640 Speaker 1: go into this tunnel of like what is wrong with 277 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:23,920 Speaker 1: me that I don't want these things that other people want? 278 00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:25,840 Speaker 1: And the kid thing is really bothering me because I 279 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:28,240 Speaker 1: have literally two weeks to freeze my eggs before it's 280 00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:32,000 Speaker 1: like not gonna work. Like I literally have like, uh 281 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:34,960 Speaker 1: six months before it's like this is pointless for you 282 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:38,600 Speaker 1: to do. And I just can't imag And I talked 283 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:41,000 Speaker 1: to someone recently. He was like, Nikki, freeze your eggs. 284 00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:42,560 Speaker 1: She was like, when I was thirty eight, I did 285 00:13:42,559 --> 00:13:44,480 Speaker 1: not want kids at all. I was positive I didn't 286 00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:47,480 Speaker 1: want kids. And if you're even on the fence about it, 287 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:49,960 Speaker 1: when you get to be forty, like you're you're gonna 288 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,400 Speaker 1: be mad that you didn't freeze your eggs. And then 289 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:52,960 Speaker 1: talk to another friend who's like, I wish I would 290 00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:54,560 Speaker 1: have frozen my eggs at thirty eight, and I'm like, 291 00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:58,360 Speaker 1: but I can't see why I would want to add 292 00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:01,120 Speaker 1: chaos to my life. I don't what's the process of 293 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:03,360 Speaker 1: freezing your eggs? Like how I don't even know. You 294 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:06,800 Speaker 1: have to inject your stomach. You have to watch rosebud 295 00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:09,079 Speaker 1: Baker's story. You to inject your stomach. You get fat 296 00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:11,360 Speaker 1: because your hormones go fucking crazy. You get crazy, you 297 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:14,480 Speaker 1: get pimples, your hair falls out. Probably like it's probably 298 00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:16,800 Speaker 1: this long process. Then you have to go. Even two 299 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:19,520 Speaker 1: doctors appointments is too much for me. It's like it's 300 00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:23,320 Speaker 1: it's so it's so much. Can do it? Maybe do 301 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:26,040 Speaker 1: a two for one, don't you wish like doctors did more? 302 00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:29,360 Speaker 1: Like like why do you need a specialty? Just fucking 303 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:31,800 Speaker 1: freeze my eggs and freeze my volkes, you know what 304 00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:34,320 Speaker 1: I mean? Free vokes. Tighten up my plus while you're 305 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:39,040 Speaker 1: down there, grab some eggs, throw them in the asshole. Yeah, 306 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:46,400 Speaker 1: drado my asshole sucking. It's just I just feel like 307 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:48,800 Speaker 1: people feel stagnant. If they don't if they're not changing 308 00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:51,000 Speaker 1: their kitchen, they're just dying. Like I think it's a 309 00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:52,960 Speaker 1: lot to do with death, Like you just feel like, 310 00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:55,760 Speaker 1: what is my life if I'm not changing something, because 311 00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:58,640 Speaker 1: then I just feel bored and then it's like nothing's 312 00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:01,640 Speaker 1: changing and without change, I'm just dying. And I think 313 00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:05,920 Speaker 1: that's what it comes down to. But you have like, 314 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:09,480 Speaker 1: for example, we have carpets in the house and I 315 00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:12,160 Speaker 1: found like the listing for where I live, and I realized, 316 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:14,840 Speaker 1: like these carpets have been here for about twenty years, 317 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:17,520 Speaker 1: and the ship that's in them is probably making us 318 00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:21,680 Speaker 1: have allergies. Yeah, so it's like practical stuff too, that 319 00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:24,480 Speaker 1: makes sense. That makes sense. Or you're just scared of 320 00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:32,960 Speaker 1: dying from the stuff in your carpets. Yeah, I just like. 321 00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:34,960 Speaker 1: That's why I don't want to own a home is 322 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,160 Speaker 1: because I would not want to deal with I just 323 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:39,800 Speaker 1: want to buy something new. There you go. So that 324 00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:43,560 Speaker 1: is a difference. That's fine, But like, do you you 325 00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:46,360 Speaker 1: like the idea of removing those carpets and final floors 326 00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:49,360 Speaker 1: and figuring it out? I have options paralysis, There's too 327 00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:52,480 Speaker 1: many choices. I don't know who to go to, Like, 328 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:54,760 Speaker 1: how do you get your floor redone? I don't want 329 00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:57,000 Speaker 1: to get ripped off because I don't know anything, and 330 00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,760 Speaker 1: I don't want to start reading about it and learning 331 00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:03,080 Speaker 1: how to change the floor by y. It's so much work. 332 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:09,880 Speaker 1: But I'll get you. Yeah, yeah, pressure, I guess you 333 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:13,160 Speaker 1: just hire someone to like do all this ship for you. 334 00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:15,720 Speaker 1: You just go look, I don't know, Jeff, a guy 335 00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:20,200 Speaker 1: named Jeff. Maybe if Chris loves doing it, let Chris 336 00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:23,200 Speaker 1: do it and just you do your thing, you know, 337 00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:26,120 Speaker 1: do you know why because I want my boyfriend to 338 00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:28,400 Speaker 1: be present. I want my boyfriend to hang out with me. 339 00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:31,120 Speaker 1: I don't want him because I know that he when 340 00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:35,120 Speaker 1: he takes on a job, it is meticulous, it is perfectionism. 341 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:38,600 Speaker 1: It is like it requires all of his effort. It 342 00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:42,360 Speaker 1: was it would I don't want Like Chris is like, oh, 343 00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:43,960 Speaker 1: I'll learn how to do this thing for you, and 344 00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:45,320 Speaker 1: I'll learn how to do that thing for you. He's 345 00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:47,800 Speaker 1: so helpful, and I'm like, no, I want you to 346 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,680 Speaker 1: watch Love Is Blind with me on the couch. I 347 00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:51,440 Speaker 1: don't want you to be in the next room taking 348 00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:55,480 Speaker 1: social media classes, like I want as much as I 349 00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:58,280 Speaker 1: want you to help me, like I just I don't 350 00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:00,720 Speaker 1: want you to do the work. I just want us 351 00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:04,040 Speaker 1: to have fun times together. Like I feel like so 352 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,880 Speaker 1: much of being a couple is just like you're both 353 00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:11,240 Speaker 1: working all the time, and I just I value like 354 00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:14,320 Speaker 1: just being in bed together and doing a crossword next 355 00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:17,240 Speaker 1: to each other or watching Like the other night, he 356 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:19,119 Speaker 1: was on his phone like making a post and I 357 00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:21,600 Speaker 1: was like, I paused love his mind. He's like, you 358 00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:23,919 Speaker 1: can keep it going, and I'm like, no, I need 359 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,000 Speaker 1: you to be watching this with me. I need you 360 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:29,040 Speaker 1: be reacting to it with me. I don't need Like 361 00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:32,000 Speaker 1: I can't stand someone on their phone, like and I 362 00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:33,280 Speaker 1: do it to him all the time. I'm on my 363 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:34,960 Speaker 1: phone on the couch, so I'm like wanting to talk, 364 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:38,159 Speaker 1: but like I can't take it if I don't have 365 00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:42,000 Speaker 1: his undivided attention for whatever like task we're doing. And 366 00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:45,280 Speaker 1: I just know that him doing redoing our floors would 367 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:49,760 Speaker 1: take him from me. Yeah, if that makes sense. I 368 00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:51,320 Speaker 1: hear what you're saying. I think there's a lot of 369 00:17:51,359 --> 00:17:52,920 Speaker 1: time in the day too. I think he could still 370 00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:54,960 Speaker 1: do both. But I get what you're saying, Like I 371 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,440 Speaker 1: want to get instead of him going to get my tampons, 372 00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:59,080 Speaker 1: I would want to send a task grab it because 373 00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:01,200 Speaker 1: I just don't want him to leave and I don't 374 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:03,199 Speaker 1: want to be alone, Like I can afford this. So 375 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:05,399 Speaker 1: like the other night, he was Like the other night, 376 00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:07,760 Speaker 1: he's trying to order dinner, and I knew he like 377 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:10,480 Speaker 1: when he gets hungry. He you know, as we all do. 378 00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:14,040 Speaker 1: You like your choice paralysis, You just like can't decide 379 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:15,960 Speaker 1: what you want. And I wanted to start love is 380 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,840 Speaker 1: blind so bad. So I just grabbed my phone while 381 00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:19,800 Speaker 1: he's looking for his I pretended like I was doing 382 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:22,360 Speaker 1: something else and I ordered the pizza that I knew 383 00:18:22,359 --> 00:18:24,399 Speaker 1: he would want, and I go, it's done, and he 384 00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:26,199 Speaker 1: was like what. I was like, your pizzas on its way. 385 00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:28,080 Speaker 1: It'll be here in fifteen minutes. It wasn't there in 386 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:30,600 Speaker 1: fifteen minutes. I paid extra for it to be expedited. 387 00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:32,720 Speaker 1: I'm just like, let's just get this done fast, like 388 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:36,520 Speaker 1: I'm tired of just like toiling over options. Everything is 389 00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:40,760 Speaker 1: just like so it takes so long. Everything just like fast, fast, fast. 390 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:42,879 Speaker 1: Like I think of how much time you wait to 391 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:46,119 Speaker 1: have a new kitchen because you're worried about what tile, 392 00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:48,480 Speaker 1: and we gotta wait for this tile to be flown 393 00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:50,840 Speaker 1: in from Morocco because I wanted to be perfect. Just 394 00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:54,640 Speaker 1: have your life is short. Just have a kitchen that's functional. 395 00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:57,680 Speaker 1: Stop waiting for all of these tiles and all these things. 396 00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:00,800 Speaker 1: Like it's fast doesn't mean the result is bad, or 397 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,879 Speaker 1: if the result isn't, what you want isn't because you 398 00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:06,399 Speaker 1: worked fast. I think people connect. Oh I didn't take 399 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:09,280 Speaker 1: enough time, and then that's why I don't like it. 400 00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:10,879 Speaker 1: But if you take a lot of time, you might 401 00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:13,679 Speaker 1: not like it too. So it's like I think the 402 00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:15,719 Speaker 1: pot thing, like, do you make a pot every day 403 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:18,120 Speaker 1: that's shitty and decide what you want and like, make 404 00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:20,040 Speaker 1: a fast kitchen. If you don't like it, redo it 405 00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:22,520 Speaker 1: and it'll be fast again, as opposed to toiling over 406 00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:24,160 Speaker 1: a kitchen that you think is going to be perfect 407 00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:25,800 Speaker 1: and it takes months and months and months and then 408 00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:28,080 Speaker 1: you get it and it's not perfect. Funk up a 409 00:19:28,119 --> 00:19:29,720 Speaker 1: couple of times. With the kitchen that's a little bit 410 00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:32,600 Speaker 1: faster to put together. And the saddest part is after 411 00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:35,160 Speaker 1: two months, you're not even gonna notice the countertop at all, 412 00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:38,560 Speaker 1: and you're going to start You're not coveting someone else's countertops. 413 00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:41,200 Speaker 1: You're gonna start going I wish I had those. You're 414 00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:43,359 Speaker 1: gonna start looking through architectural diges and be like, we 415 00:19:43,359 --> 00:19:45,000 Speaker 1: should have gone this way, And you're gonna regret it 416 00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:46,760 Speaker 1: so much more because of a like when you do 417 00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:49,040 Speaker 1: something fast and you regret it, you can go, oh, 418 00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:50,639 Speaker 1: well that was fast, we can just redo it. I 419 00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:52,439 Speaker 1: didn't spend that much money, I didn't spend that much time. 420 00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:55,040 Speaker 1: I'm not going to like punish myself when I spend 421 00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:56,840 Speaker 1: a lot of time or money on something I regret 422 00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:59,439 Speaker 1: it. It It is so much more painful than if I don't. 423 00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:03,040 Speaker 1: So I think we've uncovered something here. Let's take a 424 00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:04,760 Speaker 1: break and like process all of this and come back 425 00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:12,040 Speaker 1: with an actual show right for this besties. I don't know, 426 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:14,560 Speaker 1: you know, but I have a new tour that is 427 00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:16,800 Speaker 1: happening right now. It's called the Good Girl Tour. It 428 00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:20,160 Speaker 1: is sweeping the nation, starting out in Iowa this weekend, 429 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:23,199 Speaker 1: and then I'm in Reno, I'm in um California. Have 430 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:26,000 Speaker 1: four different cities there. I am in Vermont, I am 431 00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:30,600 Speaker 1: in Providence, Rhode Island, Memphis, Tennessee, Waterloo, New York, Quercy, Pennsylvania, 432 00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:35,560 Speaker 1: Oklahoma City, Pulsa, St. Louis, Albany, Portland, Maine, New York, Hampton, 433 00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:39,119 Speaker 1: New Hampshire, and then I hit Europe. So those are 434 00:20:39,119 --> 00:20:41,080 Speaker 1: all the cities I'm gonna re reminding you. If you 435 00:20:41,119 --> 00:20:42,960 Speaker 1: know anyone in those cities, let them know they have 436 00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:45,840 Speaker 1: a fun night of comedy awaiting them just down the street. 437 00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:48,080 Speaker 1: You can go to nikulaser dot com for tickets. I 438 00:20:48,119 --> 00:20:50,119 Speaker 1: would love to see you there. As always, there are 439 00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:52,200 Speaker 1: meet and greets available if you go alone, I will 440 00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:53,679 Speaker 1: grant to a free meet and greet you just have 441 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:56,360 Speaker 1: to write me going alone in all caps, your name, 442 00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:58,280 Speaker 1: and the city in which you're going to see me, 443 00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:00,200 Speaker 1: nothing else. You don't even need the rite thing you. 444 00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:02,399 Speaker 1: If you write anything else, they will actually make it 445 00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:04,160 Speaker 1: so I don't see the message. But you must start 446 00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:06,359 Speaker 1: the message with going alone, and don't follow it up 447 00:21:06,359 --> 00:21:08,640 Speaker 1: with anything, because otherwise I won't see it. It's very 448 00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:10,240 Speaker 1: weird how it works. So thank you so much, and 449 00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:11,720 Speaker 1: I hope I get to meet you. And if you 450 00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:13,840 Speaker 1: don't go alone, meet and greet tickets are available at 451 00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:16,080 Speaker 1: the merch booth and I've got some sick merch this 452 00:21:16,119 --> 00:21:17,680 Speaker 1: time around too. I can't wait to see you. I 453 00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:19,199 Speaker 1: can't wait to perform for you. I can't wait to 454 00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:22,360 Speaker 1: meet you. Come on out Iowa this weekend and California 455 00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:28,560 Speaker 1: next weekend. Alright, we're back. Okay, So last night, Um 456 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:35,480 Speaker 1: Taylor Swift was on Jimmy Fallon the Well she announced 457 00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:38,800 Speaker 1: that she's probably gonna go on tour someday. And I 458 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:40,520 Speaker 1: know she can't give us a date yet, like it's 459 00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:43,199 Speaker 1: probably like legally she can't even say anything. But I 460 00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:47,280 Speaker 1: cannot believe that. Jimmy Fallon, um who I was with 461 00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:51,280 Speaker 1: on Thursday for many hours shooting a thing met Taylor's 462 00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:54,000 Speaker 1: is like with Taylor Swift last night, so I was 463 00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:57,080 Speaker 1: with someone that was like he like breathed the same 464 00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:59,040 Speaker 1: air as her and me at the same time, which 465 00:21:59,040 --> 00:22:02,439 Speaker 1: is very exciting to um. And also the other night 466 00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:05,960 Speaker 1: I was the night that Midnight's got released. I was 467 00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:08,960 Speaker 1: driving home looking at the where I was in the uber, 468 00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:13,399 Speaker 1: looking at the trailer for the series of music videos 469 00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:15,720 Speaker 1: she has coming out. She has two out already, and 470 00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:18,840 Speaker 1: at the very end it said, like the credits of 471 00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:21,919 Speaker 1: like Who's in Um, it said Mike Robigilia And I 472 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:25,840 Speaker 1: was like, what the fuck? And it was like four 473 00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:28,080 Speaker 1: in the morning, New York time, But I wrote Mike 474 00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:32,240 Speaker 1: being like you're in a Taylor Swift video. I'm freaking out, 475 00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:34,560 Speaker 1: Mike and freaking out, And then he wrote me the 476 00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:37,080 Speaker 1: next day He's like insane. And then I got as 477 00:22:37,119 --> 00:22:38,760 Speaker 1: soon as I got up to watch the music video, 478 00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:41,399 Speaker 1: he calls me and I'm watching his scene as he 479 00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:44,000 Speaker 1: calls me, and I'm like, oh my god. He's like 480 00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:47,480 Speaker 1: I couldn't say anything I've known since so this day, 481 00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:50,960 Speaker 1: like I can't and he you know, he didn't give 482 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:53,120 Speaker 1: me any like juice or scoop, but he just said 483 00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:57,280 Speaker 1: she was so talented, and because he's friends with Jack 484 00:22:57,400 --> 00:23:00,280 Speaker 1: and his friends with Ja. Yeah, I think that's how 485 00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:06,520 Speaker 1: it happened. I can't, I'm yeah, I I don't know, 486 00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:10,119 Speaker 1: I'm so. I was just glad there wasn't a female 487 00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:13,920 Speaker 1: stand up in that ensemble, because there was. John Early 488 00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:15,520 Speaker 1: is also a friend of mine. He was in that, 489 00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:21,320 Speaker 1: and Mike Probiculio, and then UM the Charlie's the waitress 490 00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:25,200 Speaker 1: from UM Always Sunny who's was married to Charlie Day. 491 00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:28,679 Speaker 1: Her name's Melissa something or other. She was also in it, 492 00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:30,119 Speaker 1: but she's not a stand up. If there would have 493 00:23:30,119 --> 00:23:31,920 Speaker 1: been a female stand up, that wasn't me in it, 494 00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:34,800 Speaker 1: which there will be some day, because let me just say, 495 00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:37,639 Speaker 1: Taylor doesn't care about me. She does, she knows that 496 00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:40,760 Speaker 1: I exist. She does not want to be friends. I'm 497 00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:43,600 Speaker 1: too try hard. If there's no way that they don't 498 00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:46,119 Speaker 1: know about me, I'm sure she would have given me 499 00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:49,760 Speaker 1: a press package of gifts that she sent to other celebrities, 500 00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:52,480 Speaker 1: but her team is not going to acknowledge me, and 501 00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:54,320 Speaker 1: I get it. I am such a try hard even 502 00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:56,639 Speaker 1: though I never tag her anything, I only do it 503 00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:58,119 Speaker 1: for the love of the game. I'm not trying to 504 00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:03,680 Speaker 1: get anything. I was deeply, deeply sad on Friday when 505 00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:07,080 Speaker 1: I saw someone with less followers than me, way less 506 00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:09,320 Speaker 1: enthusiasm for Taylor Swift based on what I see on 507 00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:12,800 Speaker 1: their social media, got a package from Taylor Swift with 508 00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:15,679 Speaker 1: all this Midnight's merch being like, we all stay up 509 00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:18,720 Speaker 1: at midnight and we all struggle sometimes. I hope you 510 00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:22,400 Speaker 1: find in this album the strength to release your own 511 00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:25,560 Speaker 1: midnight sparkle or something like that. I couldn't even read 512 00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:27,919 Speaker 1: the letter because I was so mad, and I Taylor 513 00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:30,159 Speaker 1: staying at my house, my friend Taylor, and I was 514 00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:32,560 Speaker 1: getting alerts that I have packages, so it's like, maybe 515 00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:34,639 Speaker 1: there's a package. So she was like, I go, can 516 00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:37,840 Speaker 1: you go check my packages? And she's like, and I 517 00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:40,080 Speaker 1: go open them immediately because I don't want to like 518 00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:42,639 Speaker 1: get up. I like seriously was like falling into a 519 00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:46,280 Speaker 1: sadness of like, what why can't I I think I'm 520 00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:50,199 Speaker 1: the number one celebrity to Swift e me and Brie Larson, 521 00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:52,880 Speaker 1: and Brie Larson is not as fanatical as I am. 522 00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:56,600 Speaker 1: I mean, and maybe that's so annoying to her and 523 00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:59,800 Speaker 1: their team, but like I just I don't know what 524 00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:03,119 Speaker 1: I'm doing wrong. Um, But Taylor opened the gifts and 525 00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:05,000 Speaker 1: it was not a Taylor Swift package. You know what 526 00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:07,520 Speaker 1: it was. It was a package of Taylor Swift shirts. 527 00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:10,480 Speaker 1: I had ordered myself with my own money, so it 528 00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:13,399 Speaker 1: was Taylor Swift stuff, but it was my own. It 529 00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:15,240 Speaker 1: was so much of t shirts that I bought for 530 00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:18,520 Speaker 1: posh Mark and like eBay And also, don't worry, Taylor, 531 00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:20,640 Speaker 1: I did order from your website and I bought your 532 00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:23,359 Speaker 1: own shirts that as your own merch. But sometimes I 533 00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:25,480 Speaker 1: just want more than you can even give me. So 534 00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:28,119 Speaker 1: it's like I just can't really made me sad. I 535 00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:29,919 Speaker 1: was like, I don't know if I can listen to 536 00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:31,640 Speaker 1: this album the rest of the day. And then I 537 00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:33,679 Speaker 1: journaled about it. I talked to Chris about it, like 538 00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:35,720 Speaker 1: I really felt like my friend didn't invite me to 539 00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:38,560 Speaker 1: her birthday party or something like my best friend forgot 540 00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:42,160 Speaker 1: to send me an invite or you know, that's how 541 00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:47,840 Speaker 1: it felt. I feel like, yeah, you wanted to meet 542 00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:50,800 Speaker 1: Wilco your whole life, like or whatever, you wanted to 543 00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:54,040 Speaker 1: meet Dave Matthews, Like these things happen, it will happen 544 00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:58,600 Speaker 1: in that Taylor. Well, yeah, but you've had closer relationship 545 00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:02,680 Speaker 1: with Wilco. You've liked them right on, like a more 546 00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:07,080 Speaker 1: professional level. I think, I just think. I don't even 547 00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:09,119 Speaker 1: think that. I don't even want to meet her. I 548 00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:10,600 Speaker 1: don't want to be friends with her because I don't 549 00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:12,400 Speaker 1: think she wants to be friends with me, because I 550 00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:13,960 Speaker 1: I don't even know that if I were her, i'd 551 00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:16,000 Speaker 1: want to be friends with me. It's too much, there's 552 00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:18,679 Speaker 1: too much of a pedestal. She'll never live up to it. 553 00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:20,280 Speaker 1: Like I wouldn't want to be friends with people who 554 00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:23,159 Speaker 1: are that fanatical about me, no way, Like it just 555 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,560 Speaker 1: would not be work. I'm not asking for that. I'm 556 00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:28,840 Speaker 1: asking for you to send me a card again. I'm 557 00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:31,000 Speaker 1: asking for you to send me the gift, like a 558 00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:34,119 Speaker 1: gift package that the other celebrities get, so I can 559 00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:37,120 Speaker 1: feel like you see me like I keep me as 560 00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:39,480 Speaker 1: a fan, keep me as a distance, don't invite me backstage, 561 00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:42,119 Speaker 1: don't give me free tickets. I'll always support you, but 562 00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:44,360 Speaker 1: give me a little nod that you like see me. 563 00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:46,840 Speaker 1: And this isn't even her, this is her, this is 564 00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:51,280 Speaker 1: Tree that her publicist, and like the whole team, I'm like, come, 565 00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:53,800 Speaker 1: on I'm out here, but I get it. I bet 566 00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:56,119 Speaker 1: they're all like they are so embarrassed for me. I 567 00:26:56,119 --> 00:27:00,000 Speaker 1: bet they're all like she tries she But the truth is, 568 00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:02,960 Speaker 1: Anya was like because I was crying to any about it. 569 00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:05,480 Speaker 1: I was literally like crying, like I just can't believe 570 00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:09,600 Speaker 1: Keelty got a package and I didn't, Like it's just 571 00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:12,159 Speaker 1: not like it's not even like I need that stuff. 572 00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:15,439 Speaker 1: I just want to be acknowledged that like this, I 573 00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:18,720 Speaker 1: my identity is Taylor Swift. I spent this entire podcast 574 00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:21,240 Speaker 1: talking about her today, and like I'm getting tarried thinking 575 00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:23,159 Speaker 1: about it right now because it's okay, I devote so 576 00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:26,000 Speaker 1: much of my time and so much energy, it's so 577 00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:29,199 Speaker 1: stupid to cry about this, but it really does upset 578 00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:33,880 Speaker 1: me that, Like it's so stupid. This is the headline 579 00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:36,760 Speaker 1: is like Nikki Glazer cries because she doesn't get a 580 00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:41,160 Speaker 1: package from Taylor Swift, but it's like I just be seen. Well, 581 00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:44,000 Speaker 1: I I don't even want like I would be happy 582 00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:45,800 Speaker 1: for her to not see me if she didn't see 583 00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:48,760 Speaker 1: other people that care so much less about her, you 584 00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:50,280 Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like I don't I'm not even 585 00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:52,880 Speaker 1: wanting anything from her. She gives enough. That's why I've 586 00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:54,560 Speaker 1: always said I don't even want to meet her because 587 00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:56,439 Speaker 1: it would be too much of an energy suck for 588 00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:58,719 Speaker 1: her to deal with my emotions. And I need her 589 00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:00,679 Speaker 1: to save that to make music. I want her to 590 00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:03,040 Speaker 1: be happy. If I saw her in the street, I 591 00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:05,120 Speaker 1: wouldn't go up to her and go like, oh my god. 592 00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:08,560 Speaker 1: I wouldn't bother her like I want her to be. 593 00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:10,800 Speaker 1: Someone sent me a clip of her getting bombarded on 594 00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:13,240 Speaker 1: the street by someone, and I was just like, leave 595 00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:16,560 Speaker 1: her alone, Like I was just so I just I 596 00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:18,199 Speaker 1: don't even want to bother her, but it just it 597 00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:22,320 Speaker 1: really hurt me. It's so stupid. I sent you that clip. 598 00:28:22,359 --> 00:28:25,600 Speaker 1: And the point of the clip was it wasn't her. 599 00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:32,480 Speaker 1: Who is Ashley? I don't know? Oh well, I didn't 600 00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:34,879 Speaker 1: watch it because it was so annoying to me. I 601 00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:36,960 Speaker 1: was just like, I didn't watch it. I just heard 602 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:38,920 Speaker 1: screaming and I saw a person that kind of vuey 603 00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:41,560 Speaker 1: looked like her, and I didn't watch it. A bunch 604 00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:42,960 Speaker 1: of people sent me that and I was just like, 605 00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:46,520 Speaker 1: stop sending me this. It was like watching a whale 606 00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:49,959 Speaker 1: being people like people stepping on a whale. And I'll 607 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:52,240 Speaker 1: like a whale watching thing where I'm just like leave 608 00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:54,560 Speaker 1: it alone. Like that's the way I felt about whale 609 00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:56,640 Speaker 1: sharks when we went out to see them in Cambo. Remember, 610 00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:59,800 Speaker 1: we were like stalking them and annoying them, and I 611 00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:01,360 Speaker 1: was I don't even want to get in the water. 612 00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:03,320 Speaker 1: These are my favorite animals, and I don't want to 613 00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:04,960 Speaker 1: get in the water even though I have a chance 614 00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:07,520 Speaker 1: to take a picture with them, because they don't want to. 615 00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:09,840 Speaker 1: They I want them to be peaceful and to live. 616 00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:11,760 Speaker 1: But I do want those whales to send me a 617 00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:16,600 Speaker 1: gift package. And it's not even the whale, it's their team. 618 00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:19,360 Speaker 1: It's the little algae that like sucks on them. There's 619 00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:29,000 Speaker 1: little sharks that go, Yeah, doesn't know, but I do 620 00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:33,400 Speaker 1: think that they think I'm a loser. Um, I wanted 621 00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:35,640 Speaker 1: to play a game. Okay, So Taylor's what was on 622 00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:37,720 Speaker 1: Jimmy Fallon last night? And I'm so impressed by this 623 00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:41,160 Speaker 1: until I think, maybe I'll tell you why. Maybe it's 624 00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:45,239 Speaker 1: not as impressive as I think, but I also do 625 00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:48,200 Speaker 1: believe it's impressive. So let's just listen to it real quick, 626 00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:50,720 Speaker 1: and then I want to play a little game. Okay, 627 00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:53,480 Speaker 1: So he asked Taylor to name as many cat breeds 628 00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:57,120 Speaker 1: as she can in like thirty seconds. So listen to 629 00:29:57,160 --> 00:30:02,760 Speaker 1: this Scottish fold rag doll rag, a muffin, Maine coon, 630 00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:06,920 Speaker 1: British short hair, exotic short hair, American short hair, Devin rex, 631 00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:12,959 Speaker 1: Cornish rex, sphinx cat, Abyssinian, Persian, Siberian Burmese, a Norwegian 632 00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:18,680 Speaker 1: forest cat, ausa cat, Bengal um um, bombay cat, Russian blue? 633 00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:24,240 Speaker 1: Is there a British blue, um um, lunchkin cat um um, 634 00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:27,160 Speaker 1: a black cat, a Calico cat, a cat natch comes 635 00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:37,920 Speaker 1: off of desk? Okay, so impressive. I mean, like I 636 00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:39,760 Speaker 1: didn't know. I didn't even when I saw the clip, 637 00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:41,920 Speaker 1: I go, what is she even listing? It sounded like 638 00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:46,719 Speaker 1: racial slurs, British race, like it just it's I was like, 639 00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:49,560 Speaker 1: what's going on here? And then um, she said Maine 640 00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:51,800 Speaker 1: coon and I remember that was a cat type. So 641 00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:55,240 Speaker 1: and I read the thing the caption, Um, that was 642 00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:57,760 Speaker 1: a lot of cats. I was impressed until I go, oh, 643 00:30:57,800 --> 00:30:59,920 Speaker 1: they told her they were going to do this beforehand, 644 00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:01,720 Speaker 1: so she probably looked at a list really quick and 645 00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:03,720 Speaker 1: like it wasn't the top it was. She had that 646 00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:12,560 Speaker 1: written on her hand orchestrate. But um, but how do 647 00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:14,960 Speaker 1: you know how many times I have pretended? I just 648 00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:17,040 Speaker 1: want to say there's no shade on Taylor for having 649 00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:19,000 Speaker 1: looked at a list before she did the thing. But 650 00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:21,680 Speaker 1: I wanted to play this game with Andrew. Um in 651 00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:25,880 Speaker 1: thirty seconds, how many um, I'm gonna set the clock, 652 00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:33,840 Speaker 1: hold on, how many pro anything golf or no? No, 653 00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:38,080 Speaker 1: what are you talking about? Anything? Golf, golf, ball, grass, 654 00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:44,520 Speaker 1: sand wedge. I mean that's not stop um because I'm 655 00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:47,640 Speaker 1: trying to find my stopwatch. Okay, here we go. So 656 00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:51,040 Speaker 1: you're gonna do as many pro golfers as you can 657 00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:57,280 Speaker 1: starting now. Tiger Woods, Arnold Palmer, Jack Nicholson, Um Brooks, 658 00:31:57,320 --> 00:32:03,719 Speaker 1: cop um, Rory McRory, Tommy Fleetwood, uh A, Xander something 659 00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:16,760 Speaker 1: um uh, Greg Norman, ch Rodriguez, um Moon, black Cat, 660 00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:27,720 Speaker 1: um up, Phil Nicholson. Okay, no, uh, you have to 661 00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:30,440 Speaker 1: name as many metal bands as you can in thirty 662 00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:38,840 Speaker 1: seconds and three to what go? Amorphous, Black Dollar, Murder, Cannibal, Corpse, 663 00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:56,960 Speaker 1: um uh, um, the Yattering, uh Vomitory, Queens, ryche Judas, Priest, Metallica, Megadeth, Anthrax, 664 00:32:58,040 --> 00:33:08,400 Speaker 1: um uh sabotan uh twelve Sorry what are you doing? 665 00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:13,760 Speaker 1: What are you gonna do? Um? Uh? And these are 666 00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:18,760 Speaker 1: not all equal. This is just fun and nineties nineties 667 00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:22,320 Speaker 1: alternative rock bands. But that's not a thing. I know 668 00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:28,840 Speaker 1: a lot of rom coms. Rom coms, okay, alright, one 669 00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:30,720 Speaker 1: to three? How to Lose a guy in ten days? 670 00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:34,560 Speaker 1: You've got male Sleepless in Seattle, Uh, picture perfect, Sweet 671 00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:40,040 Speaker 1: Home Alabama? The FCE know that ten seconds, the guy 672 00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:46,840 Speaker 1: that um u um just friends, um best friends? Uh. 673 00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:52,360 Speaker 1: The god I'm trying to uh sweet sixteen that um 674 00:33:53,720 --> 00:34:01,440 Speaker 1: candles sixteen candles? God? Um live thinking of anything? I'm 675 00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:03,160 Speaker 1: thinking of. All I can fixture is how to lose 676 00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:05,120 Speaker 1: a guy ten days? And I fucking have never even 677 00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:08,920 Speaker 1: seen that movie. It's just I hate that movie. By 678 00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:16,960 Speaker 1: the way, Oh my god, Kings Tale Made in Manhattan. Yeah, 679 00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:18,839 Speaker 1: I didn't even think. I was trying to think of, like, um, 680 00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:24,640 Speaker 1: you guys, and I had like four, um no, how 681 00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:26,080 Speaker 1: to lose a guy in ten days? I've never seen 682 00:34:26,120 --> 00:34:28,399 Speaker 1: the movie. I've never seen Sweet Home Alabama. I've never 683 00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:32,440 Speaker 1: seen uh six you know, sixteen going on thirty or 684 00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:34,799 Speaker 1: whatever that movie is. I don't know. I haven't really 685 00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:37,400 Speaker 1: seen that many rom coms. I have like three that 686 00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:39,960 Speaker 1: I love. But have you seen How to Lose a 687 00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:43,719 Speaker 1: Guy In Ten Days? Yeah? I remember, I told him 688 00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:46,279 Speaker 1: that that was Heath Ledger. I told him that was 689 00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:51,279 Speaker 1: my favorite movie in person. Ten Things I hate about you? 690 00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:55,520 Speaker 1: What did you say in ten Days? I bet you 691 00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:57,560 Speaker 1: didn't tell the Ledger that you love How to Lose 692 00:34:57,560 --> 00:34:59,719 Speaker 1: a Guy ten Days? I bet you did. And you 693 00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:04,560 Speaker 1: and no idea how what you fucked it up would 694 00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:11,640 Speaker 1: kill him? Oh my god? So good. All right, let's 695 00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:20,799 Speaker 1: get to the news. That was fun. Oh boys, you 696 00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:22,400 Speaker 1: know what that means. It's Tuesday. I hope you have 697 00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:24,759 Speaker 1: all the swells out there. Apparently we are back, do 698 00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:28,400 Speaker 1: you know in the studio in the Phoenix? Apparently we 699 00:35:28,440 --> 00:35:36,799 Speaker 1: are Phoenix, Tucson. Alright, well, Nikki, we're talking a lot 700 00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:41,120 Speaker 1: about stranger danger, right. A twenty two year old Brooklyn 701 00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:44,320 Speaker 1: woman who was randomly punched and pushed onto the subway 702 00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:48,600 Speaker 1: tracks said she was able to scramble to safety thanks 703 00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:51,200 Speaker 1: to her experience climbing up on the stage at Gwen 704 00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:56,360 Speaker 1: Stefani concerts. She says, it's because's called me on stage 705 00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:59,480 Speaker 1: so many times. That's why my body knew what to do. 706 00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:07,680 Speaker 1: Oh my god. I mean that it's like, no bot 707 00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:12,680 Speaker 1: could have put that sentence together. No, there's no way old. 708 00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:17,160 Speaker 1: And by the way, what twenty two year old likes 709 00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:20,759 Speaker 1: Gwen Stefani, I don't feel like two year old And 710 00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:25,479 Speaker 1: Gwen Sefani her last hit was probably when that girl 711 00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:28,120 Speaker 1: was in middle school. I mean her last hit was 712 00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:30,719 Speaker 1: like b A N A N A y s and 713 00:36:30,719 --> 00:36:35,560 Speaker 1: that was probably two, which was that girl was ten 714 00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:40,520 Speaker 1: years old. Um. And does Squenze Fanny even tour anymore? Okay? 715 00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:43,600 Speaker 1: And also if you climb up on stage, don't you 716 00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:48,160 Speaker 1: get kicked out right away? Um? I love it? Um. 717 00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:51,520 Speaker 1: Speaking of climbing, there is a man that just climbed 718 00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:54,279 Speaker 1: a wall to get over a locked gate that I 719 00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:57,120 Speaker 1: just saw. That was so weird. I just saw a 720 00:36:57,160 --> 00:37:00,359 Speaker 1: man do exactly what that girl did over a rick wall. 721 00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:09,080 Speaker 1: That's like, that is hello, training just getting ready. I mean, 722 00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:10,719 Speaker 1: I feel like if she did it young enough, it's 723 00:37:10,719 --> 00:37:12,600 Speaker 1: like learning how to throw a baseball, maybe you can 724 00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:16,200 Speaker 1: like like if she like climbed so many stages, I 725 00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:18,439 Speaker 1: mean I couldn't even assume that she'd maybe climbed five 726 00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:20,480 Speaker 1: in her life. And that's a lot. That's a lot 727 00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:23,560 Speaker 1: of stages. You know what, I mean to bring that back, 728 00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:29,319 Speaker 1: but I can't believe she was superhuman stre calling oh 729 00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:32,440 Speaker 1: especially if a train is coming down. But this is 730 00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:35,600 Speaker 1: happening so much in New York, I you know, on Reddit, 731 00:37:35,640 --> 00:37:39,080 Speaker 1: and I always see at the NYC supred It's like 732 00:37:39,239 --> 00:37:42,240 Speaker 1: someone gets pushed on the train every day. I never 733 00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:47,520 Speaker 1: hung out by the edge of the train, like always 734 00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:52,320 Speaker 1: aware why. I would always stand like against a pole, 735 00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:54,839 Speaker 1: like or like a beam, so that there was no 736 00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:58,400 Speaker 1: way for anyone to put shove me behind, like you know, 737 00:37:58,440 --> 00:38:00,200 Speaker 1: like I would stand with my back flushed to it. 738 00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:03,200 Speaker 1: I rare and I was always aware of my surroundings. 739 00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:04,840 Speaker 1: If you go to New York, do not be scared 740 00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:07,480 Speaker 1: of the subway system, but do not stand. Don't be 741 00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:10,840 Speaker 1: one of those strap hangers that stands on the very 742 00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:15,080 Speaker 1: cusp because you're even the wind from the subway itself 743 00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:17,400 Speaker 1: is sometimes so strong it could like suck you into it. 744 00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:20,120 Speaker 1: It's like it's nothing to be really scared of. If 745 00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:21,840 Speaker 1: you're a scared person, you're like, oh my god, is 746 00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:25,879 Speaker 1: the subway system scary? Like it's not. You'll be okay, 747 00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:28,480 Speaker 1: But just stand in the middle of the platform, like 748 00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:33,240 Speaker 1: why tempt any crazy person who might be just having 749 00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:36,600 Speaker 1: a psychotic break just to shove you, like Noah Andrew, 750 00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:39,719 Speaker 1: did you guys ever stay stand on the side. Oh, 751 00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:42,160 Speaker 1: I mean I I think you just you become so 752 00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:44,640 Speaker 1: like so numb to the fact that this is a 753 00:38:44,680 --> 00:38:48,680 Speaker 1: moving locomotive, like a train in the middle of the woods. 754 00:38:48,719 --> 00:38:50,920 Speaker 1: You know, when a train comes through and Taylor is 755 00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:56,960 Speaker 1: probably on it. After it's so scary, like it's a 756 00:38:57,000 --> 00:39:00,799 Speaker 1: fucking train, and that's what you forget. You become numb 757 00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:02,319 Speaker 1: to it. So you get so close. Like I've seen 758 00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:05,319 Speaker 1: people like their hat gets hit and they're like like 759 00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:12,920 Speaker 1: they laughed, my hat went sideways. I've done it. I've 760 00:39:12,920 --> 00:39:15,000 Speaker 1: looked down on my phone and looked up and be 761 00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:17,040 Speaker 1: like I'm like in the middle of the turn, you 762 00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:19,399 Speaker 1: know what I mean from the train. Yes, I've done 763 00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:24,600 Speaker 1: that before too, but it's like and drunk down there, 764 00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:27,719 Speaker 1: like I can't believe there's not more train accidents and 765 00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:31,240 Speaker 1: train conductors need like you know, they go through trauma 766 00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:34,200 Speaker 1: therapy after they because they often like hit people and 767 00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:37,120 Speaker 1: it's just so traumatic and it's a guy got hit 768 00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:40,399 Speaker 1: the other. A couple of weeks ago in Queens, they 769 00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:44,080 Speaker 1: were waiting on. The guy walked briskly past another guy 770 00:39:44,120 --> 00:39:45,880 Speaker 1: who's on his phone. His phone flew out of his 771 00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:48,319 Speaker 1: hand because he got bumped, and then the phone went 772 00:39:48,360 --> 00:39:51,359 Speaker 1: into the tracks. They got into a scuffle. The guy 773 00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:53,759 Speaker 1: whose phone got knocked by this other guy threw that 774 00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:56,440 Speaker 1: guy into the train tracks. He never got home that 775 00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:58,640 Speaker 1: day because he died and his wife was waiting for 776 00:39:58,719 --> 00:40:01,080 Speaker 1: him to come home to take her to her her dialysis. 777 00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:04,560 Speaker 1: And so now she's like, there was I donated to 778 00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:06,600 Speaker 1: their go fund me. I think you could. It's still 779 00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:08,319 Speaker 1: available to do it. But it was just like the 780 00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:11,080 Speaker 1: saddest story of just this one guy, like over a 781 00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:13,320 Speaker 1: fucking phone and he's like, you go down the tracks 782 00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:14,440 Speaker 1: and get it, and the guy was like, I'm not 783 00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:16,200 Speaker 1: going down to the tracks to get your phone that 784 00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:18,440 Speaker 1: I accidentally hit, And the guy just took him and 785 00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:21,799 Speaker 1: shoved him and down into the tracks. I know, and 786 00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:26,160 Speaker 1: be fine. If he just mosh more vomitory, he would 787 00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:28,440 Speaker 1: have been fine. Yeah, yeah, if he would have just 788 00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:33,640 Speaker 1: gone to more Maroon five shows and mashed so hard 789 00:40:33,440 --> 00:40:38,000 Speaker 1: could hand don't believe She's side squad Stefan and man, 790 00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:40,520 Speaker 1: I love now that people are going to try to 791 00:40:40,560 --> 00:40:42,759 Speaker 1: climb up on stage and be like, I'm just preparing 792 00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:45,280 Speaker 1: in case I go to New York and get knocked 793 00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:49,239 Speaker 1: into the tracks. Why are you preventing that, Fergie. It's 794 00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:54,440 Speaker 1: like Iglesias cheated, but to be ready for a plane crash. 795 00:40:55,600 --> 00:40:58,240 Speaker 1: Glezias like makes out with you if you were on stage. 796 00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:00,760 Speaker 1: I am dying to go to one of those answers. Babe, 797 00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:03,440 Speaker 1: I'm sorry I had to. He pulled me on stage. 798 00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:05,320 Speaker 1: I didn't have a choice. It's like, what you do, 799 00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:08,759 Speaker 1: Drake does that to Drake will like fuck you on 800 00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:13,120 Speaker 1: stage only if you're I know I was. I'm glad 801 00:41:13,160 --> 00:41:19,400 Speaker 1: you said. I'm glad you said. I say, got cancel. 802 00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:23,560 Speaker 1: Damn it. Okay, next news story. All right, there are 803 00:41:23,680 --> 00:41:30,080 Speaker 1: six facial expressions that mean someone is lying. Oh wait, 804 00:41:30,239 --> 00:41:32,840 Speaker 1: that is so weird that you just sent this. Hold on, 805 00:41:32,920 --> 00:41:34,920 Speaker 1: I'm getting a showed out of the frigerator, but I'm 806 00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:37,640 Speaker 1: gonna still talk. So yesterday on our girls chat, we 807 00:41:37,640 --> 00:41:40,439 Speaker 1: were talking about how you can tell if someone's lying 808 00:41:40,560 --> 00:41:44,719 Speaker 1: or not, and we sent this to each other and 809 00:41:44,760 --> 00:41:47,040 Speaker 1: I and they were sending like facial They were sending 810 00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:48,640 Speaker 1: some of the stuff that they had googled and found 811 00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:52,840 Speaker 1: and I because I know this. Wait, where is my drink? 812 00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:58,160 Speaker 1: One second? You guys, I'm sorry touching your face. Well yeah, 813 00:41:59,640 --> 00:42:01,480 Speaker 1: but I know that on a lie detector test, if 814 00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:03,880 Speaker 1: you want to beat it, you clench your asshole the 815 00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:07,680 Speaker 1: entire time that you're taking it, because your sphincter will 816 00:42:07,719 --> 00:42:10,520 Speaker 1: contract when you lie, and then as soon as you lie, 817 00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:15,560 Speaker 1: relax your sphincter because the contraction will be then, um, 818 00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:18,080 Speaker 1: you know the that you won't be They won't if 819 00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:23,279 Speaker 1: they have, because sometimes they have, Like because your spinster contracts, 820 00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:25,640 Speaker 1: maybe it reads on the lie detector machine. But if 821 00:42:25,680 --> 00:42:28,319 Speaker 1: you're contracted the whole time and then you relax when 822 00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:32,000 Speaker 1: you're lying, the contraction that you would have gets counteracted 823 00:42:32,040 --> 00:42:35,319 Speaker 1: by you relaxing. So that's just a tip. So I 824 00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:37,640 Speaker 1: told Anya, like, if you guys wanna I told my 825 00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:39,359 Speaker 1: group chat, if you want to really know someone's lying, 826 00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:41,600 Speaker 1: stick your finger up their asshole and if it just 827 00:42:41,640 --> 00:42:48,640 Speaker 1: gets a little tight, you know they're lying about enjoying this. 828 00:42:49,239 --> 00:42:53,399 Speaker 1: And I'm like, no, you don't, you relax so much 829 00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:55,560 Speaker 1: your asshole. At the time, He's like, Okay, you told 830 00:42:55,680 --> 00:42:57,440 Speaker 1: too much of the truth, Like I could tell you 831 00:42:58,440 --> 00:43:03,640 Speaker 1: everywhere you're like I didn't kill my wife, I'll tell 832 00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:11,000 Speaker 1: the chair. Okay, Well, a tightened asshole is not on 833 00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:14,800 Speaker 1: this list, But what are signs that you're lying? Okay? 834 00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:18,520 Speaker 1: So Andrew mentioned one, which is looking away, moving the 835 00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:22,440 Speaker 1: eyes around, because it means that someone is thinking about 836 00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:25,600 Speaker 1: their next thought, like they're pondering what to say next. 837 00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:28,520 Speaker 1: I also feel like when I lie, I don't I'm 838 00:43:28,560 --> 00:43:30,400 Speaker 1: so ashamed of it. I don't want to make eye 839 00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:35,080 Speaker 1: contact with the person I'm lying to. Okay, sense I 840 00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:37,400 Speaker 1: look away to just be like, I can't look at you. 841 00:43:37,480 --> 00:43:39,600 Speaker 1: I'm so embarrassed that I'm doing this. But yeah, it 842 00:43:39,640 --> 00:43:42,680 Speaker 1: could be like searching what am I going to say next? 843 00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:44,680 Speaker 1: What am I going to come up with? Okay, what's 844 00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:49,719 Speaker 1: another thing? Titan jaw and forehead Liars also tend to 845 00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:52,920 Speaker 1: tense up when they're not being truthful, and this could 846 00:43:52,960 --> 00:43:59,560 Speaker 1: include tightening the john forehead. Okay, your asshole is tough. 847 00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:04,279 Speaker 1: Two things, patting your head in revenue, So yeah, so 848 00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:07,640 Speaker 1: loosen your face. Um, that makes sense, i'd be touching 849 00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:13,840 Speaker 1: your face to touching your hair fidgeting? Would that be what? Uh? Not? 850 00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:18,640 Speaker 1: In this list? Pursed or dry lips lying triggers your 851 00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:22,000 Speaker 1: body's automatic nervous system ends up drying up the lips 852 00:44:22,440 --> 00:44:25,239 Speaker 1: so crazy that lying makes us do all of these things, 853 00:44:25,280 --> 00:44:28,640 Speaker 1: like what is it? Because what what is cave people? 854 00:44:28,880 --> 00:44:33,160 Speaker 1: Or like you know when we were Neanderthals, Like why 855 00:44:33,239 --> 00:44:35,920 Speaker 1: would lying be something that makes all these things happen? 856 00:44:36,239 --> 00:44:38,360 Speaker 1: You know, like it has to be for a reason, 857 00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:42,560 Speaker 1: And I guess it's for the benefit of other Like 858 00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:44,640 Speaker 1: if we want if someone's like found a food source 859 00:44:44,719 --> 00:44:48,160 Speaker 1: and we're like, did you find food over there? And 860 00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:51,279 Speaker 1: we asked and they're like no, and they'd say no, 861 00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:53,560 Speaker 1: they didn't because they wanted all to themselves. We should 862 00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:55,040 Speaker 1: be able to tell if their lying, so that we 863 00:44:55,040 --> 00:44:57,920 Speaker 1: could actually get the food. Maybe it's something like that. Well, 864 00:44:57,920 --> 00:45:01,160 Speaker 1: there's a lot of stories of history of like when 865 00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:03,839 Speaker 1: people came over and with the Indians, they would lie 866 00:45:03,880 --> 00:45:06,680 Speaker 1: to them, but like they did in a way where 867 00:45:06,719 --> 00:45:09,000 Speaker 1: they were believable, like it was believable that they were 868 00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:11,120 Speaker 1: actually like the son of God or something. I don't know. 869 00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:14,680 Speaker 1: They would do ship and they wouldn't even have enough 870 00:45:14,760 --> 00:45:18,080 Speaker 1: time for evolution to take We can't look back at 871 00:45:18,080 --> 00:45:21,880 Speaker 1: the time of the Native Americans as when like for evolution, 872 00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:26,040 Speaker 1: don't you know, it's like millions of years. Okay, a 873 00:45:26,160 --> 00:45:32,200 Speaker 1: couple of us system, but we developed the ability to 874 00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:38,440 Speaker 1: breathe because when we settled our lung capacity, like millions 875 00:45:38,480 --> 00:45:42,080 Speaker 1: of years, it's Indians. Then they became wolves, and then 876 00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:44,880 Speaker 1: they became dolphins, and then that was a monkey. You know. 877 00:45:45,040 --> 00:45:47,279 Speaker 1: Then we really are bad at telling liars, so like 878 00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:50,000 Speaker 1: really really bad at it. Yeah, have you ever told 879 00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:53,080 Speaker 1: the story? Have you ever done that? Thing? Was like 880 00:45:53,120 --> 00:45:57,040 Speaker 1: in a class person. Yeah, it's so it's almost impossible 881 00:45:57,200 --> 00:45:59,359 Speaker 1: to know. Well, I was on that show to tell 882 00:45:59,400 --> 00:46:03,000 Speaker 1: the truth, and you would think it would be so easy. 883 00:46:03,120 --> 00:46:05,440 Speaker 1: These just normal people who have been coached to tell 884 00:46:05,480 --> 00:46:09,040 Speaker 1: a lie. These aren't like professional actors. They're just like, 885 00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:12,759 Speaker 1: you know, random people they found in Burbank trying to 886 00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:15,120 Speaker 1: pretend like they are a secret ops agent and you 887 00:46:15,239 --> 00:46:17,839 Speaker 1: do not know it. I was so bad at the game, 888 00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:23,680 Speaker 1: and I watch telling the truth right, Okay, Case licking 889 00:46:23,719 --> 00:46:29,239 Speaker 1: his lips a lot twelve inch penis. Um, Oh he 890 00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:34,560 Speaker 1: can tack it looks like blink at my lips are wet. 891 00:46:35,400 --> 00:46:40,960 Speaker 1: That's true. Was your asshole tight? Was your twelve inch 892 00:46:41,040 --> 00:46:46,920 Speaker 1: penis wrapped inside it? You got to go to break? 893 00:46:47,120 --> 00:46:51,000 Speaker 1: Would you want it's twelve inch penis. Yeah, when my 894 00:46:51,080 --> 00:47:01,359 Speaker 1: legs are streets like Tigger, just bouncing on around down. Okay, 895 00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:02,880 Speaker 1: we gotta go to break. We'll come back in one 896 00:47:02,960 --> 00:47:09,560 Speaker 1: more after that. All Right, it's time for my favorite 897 00:47:09,600 --> 00:47:14,719 Speaker 1: time of the week gets Reddit dump karaoke mode. This 898 00:47:14,880 --> 00:47:22,440 Speaker 1: is your Reddit dum Okay. This one is from Asked Women. 899 00:47:22,640 --> 00:47:26,239 Speaker 1: It fits uh the subject that I was going off 900 00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:29,360 Speaker 1: on on the first part of the show. Um, it said, 901 00:47:29,719 --> 00:47:31,919 Speaker 1: And this is where they asked them and things, why 902 00:47:31,960 --> 00:47:34,200 Speaker 1: do you regret having kids? Not in the context of 903 00:47:34,239 --> 00:47:36,080 Speaker 1: loving your kids, but do you think you'd be happier 904 00:47:36,120 --> 00:47:39,600 Speaker 1: if you didn't have kids? And um one person said, 905 00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:41,359 Speaker 1: Sometimes sometimes I look at my children. All I can 906 00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:43,000 Speaker 1: say is this, I'm sorry that I brought you into 907 00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:45,480 Speaker 1: this messy world where I teach you the importance of communication, 908 00:47:45,520 --> 00:47:48,320 Speaker 1: boundaries and safety, and yet all we hear our and 909 00:47:48,440 --> 00:47:51,000 Speaker 1: c our wars, violence, sadness. I'm also not going to 910 00:47:51,080 --> 00:47:53,359 Speaker 1: pretend that I don't miss my pre motherhood life. I do. 911 00:47:53,400 --> 00:47:55,600 Speaker 1: I miss my freedom, and I'm not ashamed of admitting this. 912 00:47:56,600 --> 00:47:59,480 Speaker 1: Then I sent this to Anya and because we were 913 00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:01,479 Speaker 1: kind of look lamenting, like I don't think we're gonna 914 00:48:01,520 --> 00:48:05,520 Speaker 1: have kids, like we need more, We need more messaging, 915 00:48:05,560 --> 00:48:07,279 Speaker 1: like that's the right thing to do. I can't just 916 00:48:07,320 --> 00:48:10,160 Speaker 1: rely on Chelsea Handler's Instagram to keep reminding me that 917 00:48:10,239 --> 00:48:12,480 Speaker 1: being single and not having kids is the best thing, 918 00:48:12,560 --> 00:48:15,440 Speaker 1: even though hers really does help me. Someone said, everyone 919 00:48:15,520 --> 00:48:17,920 Speaker 1: always tells me how extroverted I am. I believe that 920 00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:19,920 Speaker 1: was true until I had children. I realized that I'm 921 00:48:19,920 --> 00:48:22,759 Speaker 1: actually an extroverted introvert. My husband is an introvert, and 922 00:48:22,760 --> 00:48:24,840 Speaker 1: before children, it was easy for us to recharge and 923 00:48:24,840 --> 00:48:27,200 Speaker 1: be alone. Now that kids are in the mix, I'm 924 00:48:27,239 --> 00:48:29,759 Speaker 1: never alone. I extrovert all day at work and come 925 00:48:29,760 --> 00:48:32,600 Speaker 1: home to noise and chatter. It's so exhausting. They're good kids, 926 00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:34,359 Speaker 1: they don't do anything wrong. I just wish they could 927 00:48:34,360 --> 00:48:37,120 Speaker 1: move out sometimes and come visit regularly instead of living 928 00:48:37,160 --> 00:48:40,719 Speaker 1: with me. I miss solitude. Oh that is it. I'm 929 00:48:40,760 --> 00:48:43,840 Speaker 1: so scared that I'll never be able to just have quiet. 930 00:48:43,920 --> 00:48:45,479 Speaker 1: And I know people are like, but then your kids 931 00:48:45,480 --> 00:48:48,040 Speaker 1: go to bed, but then you want to sleep, Like 932 00:48:48,280 --> 00:48:50,080 Speaker 1: at a time I went quiet on a time of 933 00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:54,080 Speaker 1: day where I don't want to sleep. Um be okay, 934 00:48:54,120 --> 00:48:56,320 Speaker 1: Someone says, because I should have done the trauma healing 935 00:48:56,320 --> 00:48:59,080 Speaker 1: work before having them, I didn't, so they triggered me 936 00:48:59,120 --> 00:49:00,960 Speaker 1: all the time, and I have to navigate good enough 937 00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:03,560 Speaker 1: parenting with dealing with my past issues, which is so 938 00:49:03,600 --> 00:49:05,759 Speaker 1: hard and take so much energy. My younger self thought 939 00:49:05,800 --> 00:49:07,880 Speaker 1: that having kids would fix me. She was right, but 940 00:49:07,920 --> 00:49:11,200 Speaker 1: not in the way she thought. I think that's pretty good. 941 00:49:11,360 --> 00:49:14,480 Speaker 1: People said, I missed sleeping kids, being able to do 942 00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:16,480 Speaker 1: what I want when I want without having them to 943 00:49:16,600 --> 00:49:18,960 Speaker 1: having to worry, being able to dream and adventure. Not 944 00:49:19,040 --> 00:49:21,319 Speaker 1: that it would have happened before, but it ain't no way. 945 00:49:21,360 --> 00:49:24,560 Speaker 1: I'm bicycling through the French countryside now. Someone said, because 946 00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:26,160 Speaker 1: I was led to believe I was in a partnership 947 00:49:26,160 --> 00:49:28,719 Speaker 1: but then proceeded to do of the work. This is 948 00:49:28,719 --> 00:49:33,439 Speaker 1: why do I regret having kids? Um uh? Someone said, no, 949 00:49:33,719 --> 00:49:36,040 Speaker 1: I don't. My only regret is having her at twenty four, 950 00:49:36,080 --> 00:49:38,120 Speaker 1: which I had waited. Now that I'm in my forties, 951 00:49:38,160 --> 00:49:41,239 Speaker 1: I realized is way too young to have kids. Someone said, 952 00:49:41,239 --> 00:49:42,960 Speaker 1: my three year olds. Oh well, that's too sad. I'm 953 00:49:42,960 --> 00:49:44,440 Speaker 1: not going to read that. Sometimes I feel like I 954 00:49:44,440 --> 00:49:46,520 Speaker 1: should have known better than to have a child with 955 00:49:46,520 --> 00:49:51,160 Speaker 1: an abusive partner. So good reminders that maybe a couple 956 00:49:51,200 --> 00:49:52,960 Speaker 1: in there where I'm like, well, I don't think I 957 00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:54,799 Speaker 1: would do that. I wouldn't think a child would fix 958 00:49:54,840 --> 00:49:56,719 Speaker 1: my life. I don't if anything, I think, I know 959 00:49:56,760 --> 00:49:59,520 Speaker 1: a child would make my life a lot harder. I 960 00:49:59,520 --> 00:50:01,719 Speaker 1: I guess I don't understand someone thinking a child it's 961 00:50:01,760 --> 00:50:04,600 Speaker 1: gone their life easier to expectations to put on a kid. 962 00:50:05,600 --> 00:50:07,839 Speaker 1: But people do it all the time. Noah. People say 963 00:50:08,120 --> 00:50:10,400 Speaker 1: people who are smart enough to know that kids won't 964 00:50:10,440 --> 00:50:13,400 Speaker 1: save your relationship, that marriage isn't going to save your relationship, 965 00:50:13,440 --> 00:50:15,560 Speaker 1: that getting engaged isn't going to save your relationship, that 966 00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:17,920 Speaker 1: moving in together isn't gonna save your relationship, that getting 967 00:50:17,920 --> 00:50:20,560 Speaker 1: a dog together isn't gonna They still do it because 968 00:50:20,600 --> 00:50:23,200 Speaker 1: we are We just think that it will. That like 969 00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:26,320 Speaker 1: doubling down. I know so many couples that get engaged 970 00:50:26,360 --> 00:50:29,279 Speaker 1: and then get break up right after it because they 971 00:50:29,560 --> 00:50:31,600 Speaker 1: did it as a last ditch attempt to like this 972 00:50:31,640 --> 00:50:35,920 Speaker 1: will make us work, and of course it doesn't. Um. 973 00:50:35,960 --> 00:50:39,440 Speaker 1: This next one is catch up from ask credit ketchup 974 00:50:39,520 --> 00:50:43,720 Speaker 1: doesn't exist. What sauce do you use to eat fries with? Easy? 975 00:50:43,840 --> 00:50:48,719 Speaker 1: That was pretty good. Really, it's going to choose does 976 00:50:50,280 --> 00:50:59,480 Speaker 1: not existing barbecue b b Q. Um shit, honey mustard. 977 00:51:00,840 --> 00:51:06,840 Speaker 1: Mm hmm, honey mustard. Honestly, I used to love dipping 978 00:51:06,840 --> 00:51:10,000 Speaker 1: them in honey when I would go to McDonald's. A 979 00:51:10,160 --> 00:51:13,359 Speaker 1: one sauce is too runny. I want a thicker, gloppier thing. 980 00:51:14,160 --> 00:51:18,920 Speaker 1: I'm going to go with the dressing at a lattin 981 00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:21,799 Speaker 1: cafe and Lawrence, Kansas, I just want that on everything. 982 00:51:22,160 --> 00:51:25,520 Speaker 1: Or I want like barbecue sauce, though Barbara McDonald's barbecue 983 00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:28,279 Speaker 1: is probably the number one sauce I'm gonna use. But 984 00:51:28,719 --> 00:51:32,640 Speaker 1: if you're ever in Lawrence, Kansas or Kansas City, go 985 00:51:32,760 --> 00:51:35,600 Speaker 1: to Latin Cafe and get their Greek salad dressing and 986 00:51:35,680 --> 00:51:39,440 Speaker 1: it's it's vinegary, it's like green. It's so good, and 987 00:51:39,520 --> 00:51:43,880 Speaker 1: I it's I want to put it on everything. Um okay, um. 988 00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:46,880 Speaker 1: Worst lyrics you've ever heard. This is in the Subpreddit 989 00:51:47,040 --> 00:51:49,640 Speaker 1: music and then people just submitted a bunch. I thought 990 00:51:49,680 --> 00:51:52,400 Speaker 1: they were funny. Um. This is from a This is 991 00:51:52,400 --> 00:51:54,759 Speaker 1: a Rick Ross lyric. It says I put Molly All 992 00:51:54,800 --> 00:51:57,560 Speaker 1: in her champagne. She ain't even know it. I went 993 00:51:57,640 --> 00:52:04,759 Speaker 1: home and enjoyed that she ain't even it. Jus and 994 00:52:04,800 --> 00:52:07,319 Speaker 1: then This is his apology statement after he was called 995 00:52:07,360 --> 00:52:10,680 Speaker 1: out another reditor put this. Ross said there had been 996 00:52:10,719 --> 00:52:15,200 Speaker 1: a misunderstanding and misinterpretation. He said the term rape wasn't used. 997 00:52:15,680 --> 00:52:17,440 Speaker 1: You know, I would never use the term rape in 998 00:52:17,440 --> 00:52:19,640 Speaker 1: my records. I just wanted to reach out to all 999 00:52:19,680 --> 00:52:22,759 Speaker 1: the sexy ladies, all the beautiful ladies that had been 1000 00:52:22,800 --> 00:52:26,080 Speaker 1: reaching out to me with the misunderstanding. We don't condone rape, 1001 00:52:26,200 --> 00:52:30,279 Speaker 1: and I'm not with that. Well, good to know, Wow 1002 00:52:30,480 --> 00:52:35,040 Speaker 1: that actual? Thanks? So what else? Wrote? Just to be clear, 1003 00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:36,880 Speaker 1: I did not use the word rape when describing the 1004 00:52:36,960 --> 00:52:39,040 Speaker 1: rape I committed. Just wanted to be clear about that. 1005 00:52:40,160 --> 00:52:44,120 Speaker 1: If you don't call it rape, then it's not rape. 1006 00:52:44,320 --> 00:52:46,800 Speaker 1: He doesn't believe in labels. That's his I always believe 1007 00:52:46,840 --> 00:52:50,680 Speaker 1: that with Rick Uh did any lyrics came to come 1008 00:52:50,719 --> 00:52:54,440 Speaker 1: to mind for you guys as I continue, remember that 1009 00:52:54,520 --> 00:52:56,719 Speaker 1: one song I played for you about the guy like 1010 00:52:56,760 --> 00:52:59,120 Speaker 1: wanting to bang the young girl, but his parents got 1011 00:52:59,120 --> 00:53:02,919 Speaker 1: into way all the time, young girl, Run girl, you're 1012 00:53:03,200 --> 00:53:08,480 Speaker 1: much too young girl girl, Get out of maman all 1013 00:53:08,719 --> 00:53:16,040 Speaker 1: love his way out of land. Run girl. Much to apology, 1014 00:53:16,080 --> 00:53:18,359 Speaker 1: he goes, Look, I don't believe in pedophilia. I didn't 1015 00:53:18,360 --> 00:53:21,280 Speaker 1: say pedophilia. I don't let me look at the first 1016 00:53:21,400 --> 00:53:26,000 Speaker 1: lyrics of that, because I only know that because Bob 1017 00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:29,640 Speaker 1: Saget sang it on full house, because he was dating 1018 00:53:29,640 --> 00:53:32,279 Speaker 1: a younger woman and she broke up with him, and 1019 00:53:32,480 --> 00:53:33,880 Speaker 1: or he broke up with her and he was like 1020 00:53:33,960 --> 00:53:36,399 Speaker 1: lamenting it. So it's it goes, young girl, Get out 1021 00:53:36,400 --> 00:53:37,920 Speaker 1: of my mind. My love for you is way out 1022 00:53:37,920 --> 00:53:40,120 Speaker 1: of line. Better run, girl, you're much too young. Girl, 1023 00:53:40,360 --> 00:53:42,440 Speaker 1: with all the charms of a woman, you've kept the 1024 00:53:42,480 --> 00:53:44,680 Speaker 1: secret of your youth. You led me to believe you're 1025 00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:46,600 Speaker 1: old enough to give me love, and now it hurts 1026 00:53:46,640 --> 00:53:50,120 Speaker 1: to know the truth. Who young girl, get out of 1027 00:53:50,120 --> 00:53:52,680 Speaker 1: my mind. Okay, Beneath your perfume and makeup, you're just 1028 00:53:52,719 --> 00:53:55,279 Speaker 1: a baby in disguise. And though you know that it's 1029 00:53:55,280 --> 00:53:57,560 Speaker 1: wrong to be alone with me, that come on look 1030 00:53:57,680 --> 00:54:01,440 Speaker 1: is in your eyes. So hurry home to your mama. 1031 00:54:01,520 --> 00:54:03,759 Speaker 1: I'm sure she wonders where you are. Get out of 1032 00:54:03,800 --> 00:54:05,799 Speaker 1: here before I have the time to change my mind, 1033 00:54:05,800 --> 00:54:08,920 Speaker 1: because I'm afraid we'll go too far. And then it 1034 00:54:09,040 --> 00:54:15,840 Speaker 1: just then in her bottle, I think I put luds 1035 00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:18,400 Speaker 1: in your bottle. It's not what you think, though, Oh 1036 00:54:18,440 --> 00:54:22,280 Speaker 1: my god, dude, that song is so creepy. Dude, Andrew. 1037 00:54:22,600 --> 00:54:24,319 Speaker 1: Andrew like told me one day he was like, I 1038 00:54:24,400 --> 00:54:25,759 Speaker 1: heard this song the other day. Were you at a 1039 00:54:25,760 --> 00:54:29,239 Speaker 1: golf course or something. I was, and I'm like, this 1040 00:54:29,280 --> 00:54:31,160 Speaker 1: song is a nice old school song. And then I'm 1041 00:54:31,360 --> 00:54:33,480 Speaker 1: like by the second verse, I couldn't even hit the 1042 00:54:33,480 --> 00:54:36,000 Speaker 1: balls anymore because I was literally like, I was like, 1043 00:54:36,239 --> 00:54:40,399 Speaker 1: is this You were like, Nikki, you don't understand this 1044 00:54:40,440 --> 00:54:42,560 Speaker 1: fucking song. And then I was like, wait a second, 1045 00:54:42,560 --> 00:54:44,799 Speaker 1: I think I know that song because Danny Tanner sang 1046 00:54:44,840 --> 00:54:50,120 Speaker 1: it on Full House Guitar. I almost went to see 1047 00:54:50,120 --> 00:54:51,839 Speaker 1: that guy, by the way, the guy that sang that song. 1048 00:54:51,880 --> 00:54:53,919 Speaker 1: I almost need to go see him with Chris. He's 1049 00:54:53,960 --> 00:54:55,800 Speaker 1: on tour right now with a bunch of ways and 1050 00:54:55,880 --> 00:54:59,040 Speaker 1: guys from like the nineteen fifties. That is Gary Puckett, 1051 00:55:00,160 --> 00:55:03,799 Speaker 1: Gary Poker in the Union gap. Um, there's a lot 1052 00:55:03,840 --> 00:55:05,719 Speaker 1: of songs back there. You you want to know a 1053 00:55:05,719 --> 00:55:10,759 Speaker 1: song the Beatles song, um, run for your Life? Oh yeah, 1054 00:55:10,800 --> 00:55:15,040 Speaker 1: that one that Run for your Life. Um. The other actually, 1055 00:55:15,040 --> 00:55:16,640 Speaker 1: the other day, I was singing a song on a 1056 00:55:16,680 --> 00:55:20,319 Speaker 1: TV show that's like, um, I saw him dancing there 1057 00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:23,040 Speaker 1: by the wreck of Machine. I knew he must have 1058 00:55:23,120 --> 00:55:26,799 Speaker 1: been about seventeen, said, he said, can I take you home? 1059 00:55:26,840 --> 00:55:31,719 Speaker 1: And I'm like, well that's problematic, okay, so okay, Well 1060 00:55:31,719 --> 00:55:35,280 Speaker 1: this is the Beatles song. Well, I'd rather see you dead, 1061 00:55:35,400 --> 00:55:38,840 Speaker 1: little girl, than to be with another man. You better 1062 00:55:38,960 --> 00:55:41,680 Speaker 1: keep your head, little girl, or you won't know where 1063 00:55:41,760 --> 00:55:44,439 Speaker 1: I am. You better run for your life if you can, 1064 00:55:44,640 --> 00:55:47,800 Speaker 1: little girl, hide your head in the sand. Little girl, 1065 00:55:48,040 --> 00:55:52,240 Speaker 1: I kill you with another man. That's the end, little girl. 1066 00:55:52,920 --> 00:55:55,239 Speaker 1: We'll let you know that I'm a wicked guy and 1067 00:55:55,320 --> 00:55:58,280 Speaker 1: I was born with a jealous mind, and I can't 1068 00:55:58,280 --> 00:56:01,000 Speaker 1: spend my whole life trying to to make you toe 1069 00:56:01,080 --> 00:56:03,919 Speaker 1: the line. You better run for your life if you can, 1070 00:56:04,040 --> 00:56:07,040 Speaker 1: a little girl, and it goes. Let this be a sermon. 1071 00:56:07,120 --> 00:56:09,759 Speaker 1: I mean everything. Let this be a sermon, honey, I 1072 00:56:09,760 --> 00:56:13,520 Speaker 1: mean everything I've said. Baby, I'm determined and I'd rather 1073 00:56:13,640 --> 00:56:21,799 Speaker 1: see you dead. That is a Beatles song. Everyone insane. 1074 00:56:24,000 --> 00:56:26,160 Speaker 1: Who which one wrote it? Though? Like that's the funny thing. 1075 00:56:26,200 --> 00:56:31,279 Speaker 1: The McCartney, well, you know, Lennon McCartney. They agreed the 1076 00:56:31,320 --> 00:56:33,040 Speaker 1: rest of their lives as they ever wrote a song. 1077 00:56:33,560 --> 00:56:35,680 Speaker 1: I think Paul is like, let it go now that 1078 00:56:35,760 --> 00:56:37,640 Speaker 1: John is dead because it's impossible to write a song 1079 00:56:37,719 --> 00:56:41,360 Speaker 1: with him except with the Luigi board. But they agreed 1080 00:56:41,520 --> 00:56:43,640 Speaker 1: when they were in the Beatles that they would split 1081 00:56:43,680 --> 00:56:45,520 Speaker 1: every song they either wrote, like if John wrote one, 1082 00:56:45,560 --> 00:56:49,440 Speaker 1: it would always be Lennon and Paul was like, you didn't, 1083 00:56:49,440 --> 00:56:53,520 Speaker 1: please take it. I have a feeling it was Paul 1084 00:56:53,640 --> 00:56:57,439 Speaker 1: because or Lennon because of the jealous part and how 1085 00:56:57,480 --> 00:57:03,440 Speaker 1: he eventually does that song. I'm just elis guy love it. 1086 00:57:03,440 --> 00:57:05,960 Speaker 1: It is the most sexual song I've ever heard a 1087 00:57:05,960 --> 00:57:08,480 Speaker 1: man admitting he's jealous. I feel like if you win 1088 00:57:08,560 --> 00:57:10,799 Speaker 1: after like Lenin or someone would be like, no, that's 1089 00:57:10,800 --> 00:57:13,200 Speaker 1: just a story of the big bad wolf, like you 1090 00:57:13,200 --> 00:57:14,960 Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like like I feel like in 1091 00:57:15,120 --> 00:57:17,000 Speaker 1: songs could get away with it be like no, that 1092 00:57:17,080 --> 00:57:20,320 Speaker 1: was like they have gone after him. He's been like 1093 00:57:20,440 --> 00:57:25,560 Speaker 1: post canceled. Yeah, for being a womanizer and like beating. 1094 00:57:25,840 --> 00:57:28,160 Speaker 1: I think he beat Yogo. Maybe he beat his wife 1095 00:57:28,160 --> 00:57:33,520 Speaker 1: before her Um, yeah, had he definitely roughed up some ladies. 1096 00:57:33,640 --> 00:57:39,360 Speaker 1: But musical genius, let's excuse it. Um, I'm obviously being facetious, 1097 00:57:39,400 --> 00:57:43,480 Speaker 1: But am I I don't know? Um? Okay, so cut 1098 00:57:43,480 --> 00:57:47,560 Speaker 1: it canceled. Nicky's a let an apologist. Oh you mean 1099 00:57:47,600 --> 00:57:51,880 Speaker 1: like the whole fucking world. Um, then there's okay. So 1100 00:57:51,920 --> 00:57:53,680 Speaker 1: in this lyric thing, there's some other good ones that 1101 00:57:53,720 --> 00:57:56,800 Speaker 1: aren'tst problematic. They're just like the worst lyrics, and by 1102 00:57:56,920 --> 00:57:59,439 Speaker 1: far the people who have the worst lyrics, the band 1103 00:57:59,440 --> 00:58:02,440 Speaker 1: that has quoted the most is Train. Um. One of 1104 00:58:02,480 --> 00:58:06,680 Speaker 1: those is You're So Gangster, I'm so thug, You're so gangster, 1105 00:58:06,760 --> 00:58:10,800 Speaker 1: I'm so thug. Remember that song. Um. Another one is, 1106 00:58:12,000 --> 00:58:15,760 Speaker 1: Oh I swear to you, I'll be there for you. 1107 00:58:16,120 --> 00:58:20,600 Speaker 1: This is not a drive by, Just a shy guy 1108 00:58:20,880 --> 00:58:25,000 Speaker 1: looking for a to ply hefty looking for I didn't 1109 00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:26,920 Speaker 1: know this was a lyric, Just a shy guy looking 1110 00:58:26,960 --> 00:58:29,600 Speaker 1: for a to ply hefty bag to hold my love. 1111 00:58:29,960 --> 00:58:37,920 Speaker 1: He like hefty, Yes, Um yeah. The songs you can 1112 00:58:37,960 --> 00:58:40,640 Speaker 1: put any words in them. They're so catchy you could 1113 00:58:40,680 --> 00:58:44,360 Speaker 1: literally do anything, like you could I stabbed or in 1114 00:58:44,440 --> 00:58:47,240 Speaker 1: the neck. I'm a fun guy. You're bleeding all over 1115 00:58:48,080 --> 00:58:50,760 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Like, they're so lyrically fun, 1116 00:58:50,960 --> 00:58:53,320 Speaker 1: you don't even you could say anything. It's like, well, 1117 00:58:53,320 --> 00:58:58,440 Speaker 1: thinking about Taylor Swift's new song is My Boyfriend comment 1118 00:58:58,600 --> 00:59:00,920 Speaker 1: is a god Comma is the with Breeze in My 1119 00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:04,880 Speaker 1: Hair on the weekend, karmas a relaxing thought, aren't you 1120 00:59:05,040 --> 00:59:08,160 Speaker 1: jealous that for you? It's not Karma is a cat 1121 00:59:08,440 --> 00:59:10,600 Speaker 1: pern in my lap because it loves me. It's like, 1122 00:59:10,920 --> 00:59:13,560 Speaker 1: that's camp though Taylor's trying to be silly, like if 1123 00:59:13,560 --> 00:59:16,120 Speaker 1: you hate that lyric, you're doing exactly what she wanted to. 1124 00:59:16,840 --> 00:59:19,040 Speaker 1: Did you see the guy in Italy that he wrote 1125 00:59:19,080 --> 00:59:24,360 Speaker 1: a song and he's like, that's the best song that 1126 00:59:24,440 --> 00:59:28,240 Speaker 1: has ever been played it on the podcast once I 1127 00:59:28,280 --> 00:59:30,640 Speaker 1: forgot Yeah, I listen to that song all the time. 1128 00:59:30,640 --> 00:59:32,640 Speaker 1: It's so good. I forget the name of it because 1129 00:59:32,640 --> 00:59:35,400 Speaker 1: it's gibberish. So this guy in Italy, he was so 1130 00:59:35,440 --> 00:59:39,880 Speaker 1: frustrated and like the seventies eighties that every single Italian 1131 00:59:39,960 --> 00:59:42,640 Speaker 1: pop song that would made the chance was American, and 1132 00:59:42,680 --> 00:59:45,920 Speaker 1: he was like, they literally Italians will listen to anything 1133 00:59:45,960 --> 00:59:49,240 Speaker 1: if it sounds like American. They don't even speak English, 1134 00:59:49,320 --> 00:59:51,480 Speaker 1: you know, English, but they just love it. So he goes, 1135 00:59:51,640 --> 00:59:54,960 Speaker 1: I'm gonna make a song that sounds American, but it's 1136 00:59:55,000 --> 00:59:57,320 Speaker 1: not just to prove it. And of course the song 1137 00:59:57,400 --> 01:00:00,240 Speaker 1: went number one immediately and it is complete jip wish, 1138 01:00:00,280 --> 01:00:03,040 Speaker 1: but it sounds American, and even as an American, so 1139 01:00:03,200 --> 01:00:06,200 Speaker 1: you know someone who speaks English, it sounds to us like, wait, 1140 01:00:06,240 --> 01:00:08,200 Speaker 1: he's got to be saying something, but he's saying nothing. 1141 01:00:08,200 --> 01:00:11,400 Speaker 1: It's almost like it's it's so good because I don't know. Um, 1142 01:00:11,440 --> 01:00:14,080 Speaker 1: if you just type in Italian song that sounds American, 1143 01:00:14,200 --> 01:00:17,240 Speaker 1: you'll find it. Um. This one was a good one, 1144 01:00:17,240 --> 01:00:19,200 Speaker 1: and I cannot believe it's true because I remember this 1145 01:00:19,320 --> 01:00:22,680 Speaker 1: lyric and thinking there's no way he rhymed Kodak with Kodak, 1146 01:00:22,840 --> 01:00:26,160 Speaker 1: but he does. It's pit bull me not working hard. Yeah, right, 1147 01:00:26,240 --> 01:00:28,440 Speaker 1: picture that with a Kodak, or better yet, go to 1148 01:00:28,480 --> 01:00:30,480 Speaker 1: Times Square take a take a picture of me with 1149 01:00:30,520 --> 01:00:35,200 Speaker 1: a Kodak that I understand if both were like two 1150 01:00:35,200 --> 01:00:38,840 Speaker 1: different meanings of Kodak. But he's using and it turns out, 1151 01:00:39,920 --> 01:00:45,640 Speaker 1: um that uh, he was paid. He was a spokesman 1152 01:00:45,680 --> 01:00:48,560 Speaker 1: for Kodak at the time, and so he was paid 1153 01:00:48,600 --> 01:00:52,800 Speaker 1: to put that in the song twice, I guess. Um. 1154 01:00:52,840 --> 01:00:56,560 Speaker 1: And then there was one about these lyrics someone were 1155 01:00:56,600 --> 01:01:00,919 Speaker 1: making me laugh so hard, one of the ones where 1156 01:01:00,960 --> 01:01:03,720 Speaker 1: it's like one of my favorite songs ever and if 1157 01:01:03,760 --> 01:01:05,720 Speaker 1: you really break down I mean it's creepy. It's just 1158 01:01:05,800 --> 01:01:12,280 Speaker 1: a creepy guy out the standing outside the window watching her. 1159 01:01:12,800 --> 01:01:15,440 Speaker 1: You've got your chain tied to me, tired to have 1160 01:01:15,520 --> 01:01:21,960 Speaker 1: me up again? Who's got you? My friend into your heart? Okay, 1161 01:01:23,120 --> 01:01:26,560 Speaker 1: sweet like Handley to my soul, sweete rock and sweet roll. 1162 01:01:26,840 --> 01:01:28,920 Speaker 1: Lost for you. I'm so lost for you for me, 1163 01:01:29,200 --> 01:01:33,880 Speaker 1: Come crash into me. Yeah us uh touch your lists 1164 01:01:33,960 --> 01:01:36,400 Speaker 1: just so I know. Oh and your eyes love it 1165 01:01:36,440 --> 01:01:40,240 Speaker 1: glows so I'm begging you to forgive me for you. 1166 01:01:40,360 --> 01:01:42,880 Speaker 1: And then it's like, hike up your skirt a little 1167 01:01:42,960 --> 01:01:45,040 Speaker 1: more and show your world to me. That is so 1168 01:01:45,160 --> 01:01:47,400 Speaker 1: fucking hot. I can't even stand it. I guess he 1169 01:01:47,480 --> 01:01:49,160 Speaker 1: dis peering through the window at one point, but I 1170 01:01:49,160 --> 01:01:52,240 Speaker 1: think he's like almost longing for a girl across the way. 1171 01:01:52,320 --> 01:01:54,600 Speaker 1: Like I don't know. For me, it didn't come off creep, 1172 01:01:54,640 --> 01:01:59,520 Speaker 1: but I get it. Final thought, Um, I like that 1173 01:01:59,560 --> 01:02:03,720 Speaker 1: you games is not so much that you're like He 1174 01:02:03,760 --> 01:02:05,880 Speaker 1: could literally say like, I, you know, put like a 1175 01:02:05,920 --> 01:02:07,720 Speaker 1: tire iron in her ask, and you're like, I think 1176 01:02:07,720 --> 01:02:10,640 Speaker 1: what he means is like it's like a majestic like 1177 01:02:10,880 --> 01:02:16,760 Speaker 1: ride in the river or something. You know what I mean? 1178 01:02:16,040 --> 01:02:19,520 Speaker 1: You don't drink the water. Is him dragging a woman 1179 01:02:20,080 --> 01:02:22,680 Speaker 1: and he's he's was telling her not to drink it, 1180 01:02:23,200 --> 01:02:25,160 Speaker 1: and then he went home and took advantage of her, 1181 01:02:25,240 --> 01:02:27,160 Speaker 1: but she chose to drink it. He told her, don't 1182 01:02:27,200 --> 01:02:32,640 Speaker 1: drink the water. Yeah, that's that's Dave. I will say that. 1183 01:02:32,640 --> 01:02:34,720 Speaker 1: When I was at the Dave show, was Sarahly not 1184 01:02:34,880 --> 01:02:38,400 Speaker 1: that um Hollywood Bowl. He was talking about a song 1185 01:02:38,480 --> 01:02:41,760 Speaker 1: called that he played called Sister, and it's, oh my god, 1186 01:02:41,800 --> 01:02:43,800 Speaker 1: it's like giving me chills just even thinking about it. 1187 01:02:43,840 --> 01:02:47,880 Speaker 1: I have literal goose bump chills. Um, it's a beautiful 1188 01:02:47,920 --> 01:02:51,200 Speaker 1: song called Sister, and I wish busties would listen to it. 1189 01:02:51,240 --> 01:02:53,200 Speaker 1: But he told the story before it. He was like 1190 01:02:54,200 --> 01:02:56,560 Speaker 1: he was talking about like he gave a little speech 1191 01:02:56,560 --> 01:02:58,880 Speaker 1: about women's right to choose and how we need to 1192 01:02:58,880 --> 01:03:01,320 Speaker 1: support women and also and I ran with the like 1193 01:03:01,640 --> 01:03:07,200 Speaker 1: women are just so special and how you know we 1194 01:03:07,320 --> 01:03:09,920 Speaker 1: just need to look out for them. And he's so 1195 01:03:09,960 --> 01:03:11,960 Speaker 1: sad about like he has daughters and he was like 1196 01:03:12,240 --> 01:03:14,320 Speaker 1: he said this song when I wrote it, the first 1197 01:03:14,360 --> 01:03:18,000 Speaker 1: time I ever played it, like for my family. We 1198 01:03:18,000 --> 01:03:20,480 Speaker 1: were in the car and my two daughters, my twin 1199 01:03:20,560 --> 01:03:24,640 Speaker 1: daughters were like two years old or one, one or two, 1200 01:03:24,760 --> 01:03:27,840 Speaker 1: you know, babies in the back seat, you know, sitting 1201 01:03:27,880 --> 01:03:29,440 Speaker 1: in their little chairs in the back seat. And he 1202 01:03:29,480 --> 01:03:31,320 Speaker 1: put it on, he put the CD in and played 1203 01:03:31,360 --> 01:03:33,840 Speaker 1: it because this was like twenty years ago. And he 1204 01:03:33,920 --> 01:03:36,560 Speaker 1: played it and it's like this beautiful song and he said, 1205 01:03:36,560 --> 01:03:38,360 Speaker 1: and I turned around and I looked and they were 1206 01:03:38,400 --> 01:03:40,720 Speaker 1: holding hands and it's called Sisters and its little two 1207 01:03:40,760 --> 01:03:42,440 Speaker 1: twin daughters. And he was like, and it was the 1208 01:03:42,440 --> 01:03:44,479 Speaker 1: most beautiful thing I've ever seen. And I just feel 1209 01:03:44,520 --> 01:03:47,280 Speaker 1: like we need to do that more, like we all 1210 01:03:47,320 --> 01:03:49,360 Speaker 1: need to just hold hands more. And then he played 1211 01:03:49,360 --> 01:03:50,720 Speaker 1: the song and it was like, if you listen to 1212 01:03:50,760 --> 01:03:53,400 Speaker 1: that song with that story, it was just likely. And 1213 01:03:53,440 --> 01:03:55,480 Speaker 1: I were like crying, and we were like, we're sisters. 1214 01:03:55,560 --> 01:03:59,080 Speaker 1: Everyone's sisters. Is just beautiful line when he tells them 1215 01:03:59,080 --> 01:04:03,720 Speaker 1: to hike up their skirt, Yeah it's cool. Yeah, it's 1216 01:04:03,720 --> 01:04:07,560 Speaker 1: really cool. Um So when point the one of the 1217 01:04:07,600 --> 01:04:12,720 Speaker 1: worst lyrics is thunder the thunder, thunder, thunderer for the 1218 01:04:12,800 --> 01:04:17,320 Speaker 1: thunder lightning and thunder, feel the thunder lightning and thunder. 1219 01:04:17,800 --> 01:04:20,400 Speaker 1: That's the thunder. By the way, I once did a 1220 01:04:20,400 --> 01:04:22,640 Speaker 1: five K or No, I did a ten k or 1221 01:04:22,680 --> 01:04:26,440 Speaker 1: something and it was a race, and I listened to 1222 01:04:26,440 --> 01:04:29,000 Speaker 1: that song the whole time, and I got the best 1223 01:04:29,040 --> 01:04:32,280 Speaker 1: time I've ever gotten when I've been running a race. 1224 01:04:32,920 --> 01:04:35,080 Speaker 1: Was the other best time I ever got was I 1225 01:04:35,120 --> 01:04:39,200 Speaker 1: listened to Kesha's Die Young. I don't know if you 1226 01:04:39,240 --> 01:04:42,880 Speaker 1: know that song. Yeah, I forget hold on. Let me 1227 01:04:42,880 --> 01:04:46,200 Speaker 1: just pull it up really quick, young, young, young Young. 1228 01:04:46,320 --> 01:04:48,600 Speaker 1: I think it's just repeating that. I think that helps you. 1229 01:04:49,080 --> 01:04:57,200 Speaker 1: It's just like it's like, dude until we out at nine, 1230 01:04:57,320 --> 01:05:01,840 Speaker 1: donner get it wild running like we at dude, But 1231 01:05:02,040 --> 01:05:04,400 Speaker 1: like there's just certain songs that are great running songs. 1232 01:05:04,440 --> 01:05:06,320 Speaker 1: But that Thunder song, it was just like, oh, I 1233 01:05:06,360 --> 01:05:09,440 Speaker 1: was so into it. That was probably two thousand when 1234 01:05:09,480 --> 01:05:14,320 Speaker 1: I did that. Um okay uh. And then I always 1235 01:05:14,360 --> 01:05:18,400 Speaker 1: loved the little Yaddi lyric that gets brought up a lot, 1236 01:05:18,480 --> 01:05:20,680 Speaker 1: and it says she blow that dick like a cello 1237 01:05:20,960 --> 01:05:23,760 Speaker 1: because he didn't know that a cello was not a trumpet. 1238 01:05:23,880 --> 01:05:26,840 Speaker 1: He thought a cello was like a trumpet. And um. 1239 01:05:26,880 --> 01:05:29,520 Speaker 1: It also says that like there's like five people were 1240 01:05:29,520 --> 01:05:36,320 Speaker 1: credited on writing that song, and none of them. Uh, 1241 01:05:36,360 --> 01:05:40,880 Speaker 1: I love it. Um and then um, let's play that 1242 01:05:40,960 --> 01:05:44,400 Speaker 1: one video Noah, that um that you were sent that 1243 01:05:44,600 --> 01:05:50,040 Speaker 1: was about the the guy yelling I like this this 1244 01:05:50,040 --> 01:05:52,320 Speaker 1: This is a girl at TikTok who was like making 1245 01:05:52,360 --> 01:05:54,400 Speaker 1: a video off of someone else's videos. So at first 1246 01:05:54,440 --> 01:05:56,320 Speaker 1: you see the guy and he's it's one of these 1247 01:05:56,360 --> 01:05:59,760 Speaker 1: motivational guys that like Andrew follows for like a David 1248 01:06:00,000 --> 01:06:02,960 Speaker 1: Against type. It's just like, man, you get up and 1249 01:06:03,000 --> 01:06:06,960 Speaker 1: do it. I'll go, I'll go, I'll go. And then 1250 01:06:07,000 --> 01:06:08,480 Speaker 1: this girl at the end of it, you'll see the 1251 01:06:08,520 --> 01:06:17,280 Speaker 1: girl does changes this fucking guy Yeah, fucking Jim, fucking Jim, 1252 01:06:17,480 --> 01:06:20,600 Speaker 1: go to the fucking Jim. Wait does this Does this 1253 01:06:20,600 --> 01:06:23,680 Speaker 1: work on the girl? Hold on, she puts on a 1254 01:06:23,920 --> 01:06:29,920 Speaker 1: stash like the guy. Go to fucking therapy. She just 1255 01:06:30,000 --> 01:06:34,080 Speaker 1: paces around like the guy. Know the gym doesn't count, 1256 01:06:34,680 --> 01:06:41,920 Speaker 1: go to therapy. That work. I love it. There's someone 1257 01:06:42,720 --> 01:06:45,440 Speaker 1: there's a nerdy guy. You told me you used to 1258 01:06:45,480 --> 01:06:47,640 Speaker 1: like be motivated by those things, like you said that 1259 01:06:47,760 --> 01:06:52,760 Speaker 1: Chila bo like yesterday, yesterday, this morning. Those things get you. 1260 01:06:53,200 --> 01:06:56,280 Speaker 1: They work, they really do. There's a video of that 1261 01:06:56,320 --> 01:06:58,400 Speaker 1: guy going go to the fucking gym, and then there's 1262 01:06:58,400 --> 01:07:00,400 Speaker 1: a nerd that like clips it back and he goes, 1263 01:07:00,560 --> 01:07:05,640 Speaker 1: you got it at gym. I do love when people 1264 01:07:06,120 --> 01:07:09,360 Speaker 1: like clip back. Someone didn't wind with that guy where 1265 01:07:09,360 --> 01:07:11,600 Speaker 1: he spits and it hits him in the face like 1266 01:07:11,640 --> 01:07:14,720 Speaker 1: the water like they do that whole thing. Yeah, I 1267 01:07:14,760 --> 01:07:17,600 Speaker 1: get motivated. I do there, but it comes in waves 1268 01:07:17,680 --> 01:07:20,400 Speaker 1: like you catch me on a Tuesday morning and I'm like, 1269 01:07:21,440 --> 01:07:26,360 Speaker 1: I don't know. So Andrew sent me a thing yesterday 1270 01:07:26,400 --> 01:07:29,280 Speaker 1: because we were talking about how like TikTok videos are 1271 01:07:29,280 --> 01:07:32,640 Speaker 1: fake and how the couples will like coordinate together to 1272 01:07:32,880 --> 01:07:35,400 Speaker 1: make a fake TikTok, and Andrew send a perfect example 1273 01:07:35,440 --> 01:07:37,920 Speaker 1: of one, and uh, I just want to play it 1274 01:07:37,920 --> 01:07:40,360 Speaker 1: really quick, and then I want to play something else 1275 01:07:40,480 --> 01:07:44,520 Speaker 1: right after this. Hold on. So this is what I 1276 01:07:44,560 --> 01:07:49,120 Speaker 1: told him. Sorry, Okay. So it says I was trying 1277 01:07:49,120 --> 01:07:53,560 Speaker 1: to record a scenic video of me on this uh 1278 01:07:53,960 --> 01:07:55,919 Speaker 1: lake to send to my mom. So it's a guy 1279 01:07:56,080 --> 01:07:58,320 Speaker 1: that it said in writing. It says trying to record 1280 01:07:58,360 --> 01:08:00,360 Speaker 1: a scenic video to send to my mother of this 1281 01:08:00,400 --> 01:08:02,360 Speaker 1: beautiful lake. And at the end of it you'll hear 1282 01:08:02,480 --> 01:08:04,760 Speaker 1: why the video was fucked up and how this is 1283 01:08:04,800 --> 01:08:10,680 Speaker 1: probably my hurts your last night. So it's just the 1284 01:08:10,720 --> 01:08:13,360 Speaker 1: girl is like you've ever been recording something and then 1285 01:08:13,400 --> 01:08:15,560 Speaker 1: the person next you starts talking. You're like, you funked 1286 01:08:15,600 --> 01:08:18,600 Speaker 1: up my video? Like they totally like I would not 1287 01:08:18,720 --> 01:08:21,200 Speaker 1: have thought that that was planned until you sent that. 1288 01:08:21,880 --> 01:08:27,400 Speaker 1: I probably didn't know. It's got to be fake. I 1289 01:08:27,800 --> 01:08:30,800 Speaker 1: think so too. I think now when I listened to it, 1290 01:08:30,880 --> 01:08:33,800 Speaker 1: especially then, like her tone at the end felt fake, 1291 01:08:33,960 --> 01:08:37,080 Speaker 1: like you can almost hear just like who says my 1292 01:08:37,200 --> 01:08:39,760 Speaker 1: asshole hurts from last night? Like it's just such it's 1293 01:08:39,800 --> 01:08:42,000 Speaker 1: such a classic thing that if you were making a video, 1294 01:08:42,000 --> 01:08:44,479 Speaker 1: get interrupted by the most inappropriate thing. So last night 1295 01:08:44,600 --> 01:08:46,599 Speaker 1: I did not even show Chris that, by the way, okay, 1296 01:08:46,760 --> 01:08:49,280 Speaker 1: and not shown Chris that I was trying to secretly 1297 01:08:49,360 --> 01:08:52,439 Speaker 1: record him as I was watching Love Is Blind to 1298 01:08:52,520 --> 01:08:54,719 Speaker 1: put on my Instagram, just because he kept saying funny 1299 01:08:54,800 --> 01:08:56,719 Speaker 1: things and I was like, it's so funny to get 1300 01:08:56,720 --> 01:08:59,840 Speaker 1: a guy's perspective of the show, like what he's commenting on. 1301 01:09:00,280 --> 01:09:04,479 Speaker 1: So I'm recording him. He knows I'm recording him. I 1302 01:09:04,520 --> 01:09:07,120 Speaker 1: don't know that he knows I'm recording him, right, Okay, 1303 01:09:07,120 --> 01:09:10,800 Speaker 1: does that make sense? Yes? Like I don't know that 1304 01:09:10,840 --> 01:09:12,760 Speaker 1: he knows but he does know. So this is what 1305 01:09:12,800 --> 01:09:21,080 Speaker 1: he did. So I'm on the couch raist stuff. Earlier 1306 01:09:22,439 --> 01:09:31,720 Speaker 1: on the ship, I was like fuck because I was 1307 01:09:32,000 --> 01:09:34,320 Speaker 1: I was being so secretive and I didn't think he 1308 01:09:34,360 --> 01:09:36,240 Speaker 1: could because he kept catching me. And then there were 1309 01:09:36,280 --> 01:09:39,080 Speaker 1: times when he did it, and so I really was sneaking. 1310 01:09:39,080 --> 01:09:40,920 Speaker 1: That one. It was like fifteen minutes after the last 1311 01:09:40,920 --> 01:09:42,720 Speaker 1: time I tried. I thought he was relaxed, he wasn't 1312 01:09:42,720 --> 01:09:45,080 Speaker 1: gonna catch me, and then he just busts out. Remember 1313 01:09:45,080 --> 01:09:48,799 Speaker 1: all the races you were saying. It completely ruins my video. 1314 01:09:48,880 --> 01:09:52,200 Speaker 1: It was so funny. Second you're like, did I say 1315 01:09:52,240 --> 01:09:56,120 Speaker 1: anything bad? Maybe no, there wasn't even a second. I 1316 01:09:56,160 --> 01:09:58,760 Speaker 1: was just like, I know what you're doing, but it 1317 01:09:58,840 --> 01:10:01,479 Speaker 1: made me. It was really really funny. Okay, that is 1318 01:10:01,520 --> 01:10:05,000 Speaker 1: all we have for today. UM, thank you so much 1319 01:10:05,040 --> 01:10:07,800 Speaker 1: for listening everyone, Thanks for listening to my tirade. At 1320 01:10:07,800 --> 01:10:09,840 Speaker 1: the top of the show, I feel feeling that off 1321 01:10:09,880 --> 01:10:12,559 Speaker 1: my chest. I feel better. I feel better. I am 1322 01:10:12,560 --> 01:10:15,160 Speaker 1: going to go take a nap and still dread this podcast. 1323 01:10:15,200 --> 01:10:16,800 Speaker 1: I have to do later today where I think everyone 1324 01:10:16,840 --> 01:10:19,840 Speaker 1: hates me, but you know what, that's life and I'm 1325 01:10:19,840 --> 01:10:22,000 Speaker 1: not gonna say because then people will go on it 1326 01:10:22,000 --> 01:10:24,320 Speaker 1: and go, we love you, and then they'll really get 1327 01:10:24,320 --> 01:10:26,920 Speaker 1: a lot of hate because it's too positive. But you'll 1328 01:10:26,960 --> 01:10:29,120 Speaker 1: see I'll promote it in some way if it goes well. 1329 01:10:29,840 --> 01:10:38,240 Speaker 1: Thank you guys for listening. Don't be cool and Jack mcfrayer, Okay, 1330 01:10:38,240 --> 01:10:41,960 Speaker 1: back to back to basics. Then going back I'm starting