Speaker 1: Episode three point fifteen, how to build and break habits
Speaker 1: that cause you to overspend. Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast,
Speaker 1: where you'll learn to save money, embrace simplicity, and live
Speaker 1: a life.
Speaker 2: Here your hosts Jen and Jill. Jen's back, Jen's back,
Speaker 2: Gen's back.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Frugal Friends Podcast. My name is Jen, my.
Speaker 2: Name is Jill. Oh doesn't that feel so good?
Speaker 1: Allow me to reintroduce myself. My name is Jen. There
Speaker 1: she is and her name is so excited to be back.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what are you back for? And tell the people
Speaker 2: who don't know.
Speaker 1: For those of you who are new to the show,
Speaker 1: I had a baby and I took some time off.
Speaker 1: For you, it was only three weeks. For me it
Speaker 1: was two months, so it was gosh over two months,
Speaker 1: two and a half months. So this is my first
Speaker 1: episode back and I hope I remember how to record
Speaker 1: it well.
Speaker 2: So far, so good. This feels good to me back
Speaker 2: in the fold. We had some great co hosts in
Speaker 2: the previous six episodes to this one. But Jen, it's
Speaker 2: good to see your face, good to have you back.
Speaker 2: It's fun to hear your crying baby in the background.
Speaker 1: It's me. Oh, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2: Oh no, that's good. It's real life.
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, It's only going to be for the summer. So,
Speaker 1: which brings us to the sponsor for this episode, the
Speaker 1: Summer slow Down. So, summer has graced us with its presence,
Speaker 1: and with it comes a slew of free activities put
Speaker 1: on by your city, church, school parents, everyone activities. Summer
Speaker 1: is a time to stress less, and while that's easier
Speaker 1: than done, we want to put our action where our
Speaker 1: mouth is. So for June and July, while my baby
Speaker 1: is still home and not in daycare, we are going
Speaker 1: to be releasing one episode per week. Will it cut
Speaker 1: our income in half for two months? Yes? Will it
Speaker 1: give us more time to enjoy this season and stress
Speaker 1: less with a small baby at home. Absolutely, But this
Speaker 1: is why we save and spend intentionally so we can
Speaker 1: afford to rest. So we will be back to two
Speaker 1: episodes per week in August. But we encourage you to
Speaker 1: rest with us this summer and embrace the summer slowdown.
Speaker 2: This is so beautiful, well said Jen, and there is
Speaker 2: permission for this. Speaking of building and breaking habits that
Speaker 2: cause us to overspend, there's nothing like get your income
Speaker 2: to force you.
Speaker 1: Well and that's why we have some habits that we
Speaker 1: need to learn how to break so that we can
Speaker 1: do things like this and have freedom like this more easily.
Speaker 2: So still be getting your weekly episodes every Friday. It's
Speaker 2: still going to be friaday. You just won't be getting
Speaker 2: your Tuesday episode until August again.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So take your Tuesdays and do something productive, do
Speaker 1: something No, don't do anything productive, do something unproductive.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so it's tea time Tuesday. You can just take
Speaker 1: a tea time. That's it, all right. But if you
Speaker 1: are into habits like we are, we are habit geeks.
Speaker 1: We love talking about the psychology behind habits. So if
Speaker 1: that is you too, or maybe you don't know it's
Speaker 1: you yet. We have a couple of other episodes that
Speaker 1: we talk about habits. So the first episode two seventy four,
Speaker 1: how to align your Spending with your Values. That's a
Speaker 1: lot of how to obviously execute the habit that you're building.
Speaker 1: Episode one eighty one is our primary other habit episode,
Speaker 1: So this one is actually more of a one oh one.
Speaker 1: Episode one eighty one, while we did it a while ago,
Speaker 1: is actually like step two. So that one episode one
Speaker 1: eighty one, how to identify and improve spending habits. Really
Speaker 1: good one to listen to after this, and if you
Speaker 1: want even more you've heard us talk about it, We've
Speaker 1: got a free three day spending makeover where we also
Speaker 1: touch on spending habits and that's free. It's got free
Speaker 1: three free lessons in it and a workbook, so you
Speaker 1: can go to Frugal friendspodcast dot com slash makeover and
Speaker 1: you can learn how to do full spending inventory, identify
Speaker 1: your values, and then start to build those skills necessary
Speaker 1: to improve your spending habits.
Speaker 2: Yay, Well, let's get into this. We've got some really
Speaker 2: great articles for you. The first one comes from CNB
Speaker 2: and it's titled three habits that actually cause you to
Speaker 2: spend more money according to a behavioral researcher. So they
Speaker 2: are citing a lot of the findings of Mary L. Beasley,
Speaker 2: who's the co founder of common Sense Labs, where she's
Speaker 2: talking about these habits and then it's kind of an
Speaker 2: overview of that behavioral research that was done and just
Speaker 2: begins by talking about how often we can have the
Speaker 2: best of intentions but still make mistakes along the way
Speaker 2: because we're human and I know for myself that is
Speaker 2: still true. Even though I have a personal finance podcast
Speaker 2: for five years alongside Jen, who I've learned so much from,
Speaker 2: I still am not hitting every goal and crushing my
Speaker 2: savings and spendings and investing in all of that, and
Speaker 2: we can all have the best of intentions. I love
Speaker 2: the example that they give at the beginning of we
Speaker 2: can think and plan when we're going out to dinner,
Speaker 2: We're just gonna have one glass of wine, but then
Speaker 2: you know we're with really good friends, we end up
Speaker 2: having three. Or I am going to challenge myself to
Speaker 2: save fifty bucks a month, but then by the end
Speaker 2: of the month only find twenty five dollars in saving.
Speaker 2: So I think that this, in a really succinct way
Speaker 2: gives some other reasonings to why that happens. And the
Speaker 2: more we can understand that reality, the more we can
Speaker 2: respond well and see shifts. So while I'm not perfect,
Speaker 2: I know Jen, you would say you're not perfect, there
Speaker 2: can be improvement along the way. However, within this any
Speaker 2: overarching thoughts from you, Jen on this one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I so. I once we get we're going to
Speaker 1: say the three habits. But I think traditionally when we
Speaker 1: think of quote unquote bad spending habits. We think of
Speaker 1: that ordering the two extra drinks at dinner, We think
Speaker 1: of the Starbucks drive through on the way to work,
Speaker 1: ordering takeout for lunch. So those are not the real
Speaker 1: habits that we're focusing on today. And so I just
Speaker 1: thought this was a very cool like, there are deeper issues,
Speaker 1: deeper habits that cause those more superficial ones, and so
Speaker 1: I love that this article goes into those and then
Speaker 1: the next article will go into more specifically how to
Speaker 1: break them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so the first habit, habit number one, is that
Speaker 2: we can often tend to rely on our will power
Speaker 2: to restrict our spending. We can think that that's enough,
Speaker 2: if I just grit my teeth and white knuckle this thing,
Speaker 2: that's going to be what helps me restrict my spending.
Speaker 2: And the researcher explains that motivation like anything else, And
Speaker 2: you've heard us describe this it ebbs and flows. Motivation
Speaker 2: can't be the thing that we're waiting on to just
Speaker 2: happen to just befall us, and then the rest of
Speaker 2: life follows suit. So if you're just relying on sheer
Speaker 2: will power to prevent you from making purchases, it's going
Speaker 2: to wear down over time and won't always be effective.
Speaker 2: They also reference how budgeting can be one of those things, like, well,
Speaker 2: we try and restrict our spending through budgeting and then
Speaker 2: thinking it's our willpower that's going to help us keep
Speaker 2: in that place. Now, I love budgets, but I do
Speaker 2: think that this is highlighting an important thing about the
Speaker 2: way that we approach budgets. So creating a budget can
Speaker 2: help us know where our money goes, how to allocate it.
Speaker 2: But a lot of times if we're trying to use
Speaker 2: that as the motivator for our will power in this
Speaker 2: effort to curb spending, it can lead to this cycle
Speaker 2: of overcompensation where maybe it works for a little bit
Speaker 2: of time. Oh yeah, I just saved all that much,
Speaker 2: but now we feel deprived and then we overspend and
Speaker 2: the gains are hardly anything because we've then overcompensated for them.
Speaker 2: So this just sheer relying on willpower doesn't work.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like so when we talk about decision fatigue,
Speaker 1: it's that for you know, for those of you who
Speaker 1: don't know, decision fatigue is by the end of the day,
Speaker 1: like in the morning, your decisions are great because your
Speaker 1: mind is fresh, but by the end of the day,
Speaker 1: you are, you know, eating ice cream in pulse, shopping
Speaker 1: on Amazon because your your will power literally has been
Speaker 1: depleted from your body. Your brain only has so much
Speaker 1: capacity to make decisions, and so instead of working against that,
Speaker 1: which is the real mistake, we need to be working
Speaker 1: with our minds. So we need to be looking for
Speaker 1: those ways to kind of internally motivate ourselves to keep going.
Speaker 1: So part of that is, you know, quote unquote find
Speaker 1: your why. But there are other smaller things that we
Speaker 1: need to be doing to really move on our own
Speaker 1: volition and not rely on willpower. Yeah, the habit number
Speaker 1: two is focusing more on immediate set faction versus long
Speaker 1: term benefit. So, like when I was just saying, when
Speaker 1: your willpower is depleted, then it makes it even harder
Speaker 1: to focus on the long term benefit versus the immediate satisfaction.
Speaker 1: And I would say it's not a bad thing to
Speaker 1: focus on immediate satisfaction. Our brains are kind of wired
Speaker 1: to do that, but not doing it every single decision.
Speaker 1: So most of our decisions have to be for long
Speaker 1: term benefit. So I would say it's probably like an
Speaker 1: eighty twenty if eighty percent of your decisions are sound
Speaker 1: and provide long term benefit than twenty percent, you could
Speaker 1: just like go off and impulse spend all of it
Speaker 1: at target, you know. So we're not looking for perfection.
Speaker 1: We're just looking to do eighty percent right so that
Speaker 1: we can have the freedom to not think about it
Speaker 1: and not be so guilty with that other twenty percent
Speaker 1: or whatever ratio feels good to you.
Speaker 2: And that's a little bit just default mode. I feel
Speaker 2: as though immediate satisfaction is innate, and it does take
Speaker 2: work to be able to identify long term benefit and
Speaker 2: create ways for us to see some degree of short
Speaker 2: term benefit. Wall we're working towards long term benefit. But
Speaker 2: that's so often what habits are. They are these things
Speaker 2: that have worked to some degree or have created shortcuts
Speaker 2: and efficiencies, but many of them aren't actually working in
Speaker 2: our favor. And so a lot of this is just
Speaker 2: becoming aware of those habits that aren't benefiting us and
Speaker 2: how can we shift that Again, we'll get to that
Speaker 2: in the second article. But yeah, it's natural that we
Speaker 2: would want to focus on immediate satisfaction, but that in
Speaker 2: the long run is going to lead to that overspending.
Speaker 2: So that's another reason that we can find ourselves like
Speaker 2: in that run, why I had the best of intentions,
Speaker 2: Why did it end up this way? And these are
Speaker 2: some of the top three reasons. And the final one
Speaker 2: habit number three is just simply following the crowd, keeping
Speaker 2: up with the Joneses or whoever it is that you
Speaker 2: follow on Instagram. This can highly and heavily influence how
Speaker 2: much money we spend and what we spend it on.
Speaker 2: We often will take cues from those around us on
Speaker 2: what we should be doing, how to belong again, this
Speaker 2: is one of those just innately programmed things of humanity.
Speaker 2: We want belonging, we want immediate satisfaction, we want efficiency,
Speaker 2: we want to believe that we've got the grit and
Speaker 2: willpower to just say no to whatever whatever. But the
Speaker 2: reality is there's a lot lot more forces at play here,
Speaker 2: and especially if we are not actively aware or intentional
Speaker 2: about that, we can find ourselves buying the things, doing
Speaker 2: the things, having the experiences that maybe we don't even
Speaker 2: love that much. It's just what's happening with those around us,
Speaker 2: and it's influencing the decisions that we're making. They reference research. Now,
Speaker 2: granted I did not click on this to see if
Speaker 2: it meant Jen's standards of research. But apparently the Federal
Speaker 2: Reserve Bank of America. I'm sorry, the Federal Reserve Philadelphia.
Speaker 2: I'm from Philadelphia, America. The best of America comes from Philadelphia.
Speaker 1: I'm check this now.
Speaker 2: Okay, The Federal Reserve Bank of Philadelphia found that if
Speaker 2: your neighbor wins the lottery, you're more likely to file
Speaker 2: for bankruptcy. This sounds like a udicrous fact. I mean,
Speaker 2: first of all, how many people have they been able
Speaker 2: to actually study who won the lottery and then look
Speaker 2: at the behaviors of those lottery winners neighbors. I can't
Speaker 2: imagine it was more than five. Feel free to report back, Jen,
Speaker 2: But still, the point that they're trying to make here
Speaker 2: is we are heavily influenced by those around me. Around us,
Speaker 2: whether that is our neighbors, the place, just our immediate community,
Speaker 2: our friends, our coworkers, the people that we're choosing to
Speaker 2: follow on Instagram, social media. We will be influenced by
Speaker 2: their spending habits. And if we are not intentional about
Speaker 2: choosing something differently, that's just how it's going to shake
Speaker 2: out in our spending behaviors.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to note that to quote the study,
Speaker 1: to examine this question, we rely on match data on
Speaker 1: the universe of lottery winners and the universe of bankruptcy
Speaker 1: filers in a single Canadian province.
Speaker 2: What and it's the Federal banks Philadelphia doing this.
Speaker 1: Thank you for your rigorous Canada citing standard, CNBC.
Speaker 2: Well, we just wanted it because it sounded so crazy, right,
Speaker 2: But so to bring it back around, these three habits
Speaker 2: are really important to look at.
Speaker 1: That's why it's important that we look in habits because
Speaker 1: we only have a finite amount of willpower at the
Speaker 1: end of the day, so we want to put our
Speaker 1: actions on autopilot. That's what habits are. We focus more
Speaker 1: on immediate satisfaction. It's the way our brains are wired.
Speaker 1: So we want to have good habits, and we want
Speaker 1: to just be intentional about our habits so that we're
Speaker 1: not falling into unintentional like limiting ones. I don't want
Speaker 1: to say bad versus good habits, because one person's bad
Speaker 1: habit could be another person's good habit. But limiting and
Speaker 1: growth habits, and yeah, we follow the crowds, so we
Speaker 1: want to have eighty percent of our habits being our
Speaker 1: actions being good habits. So in those times where you
Speaker 1: do follow the you know, with the Federal Reserve Bank
Speaker 1: of philid healthy is saying you might do, you're mostly
Speaker 1: taken care of. So I do. I When you were
Speaker 1: saying this one, the habit number three, I was remembering,
Speaker 1: I follow this guy at I think it's Shabbaz or
Speaker 1: Schabbaz says or just chabezz. Yes, the rich people the post,
Speaker 1: all the rich, all the rich people. I don't even
Speaker 1: know if they're rich, but they just carefully and luxuriously
Speaker 1: curate all of this designer stuff. And like apparently there's
Speaker 1: a part of TikTok where like fancy ice, like filling
Speaker 1: your freezer with like fancy ice is a thing, and
Speaker 1: it's just all so pointless. But if that's all you're seeing,
Speaker 1: and he and he'll make just really funny commentary, like
Speaker 1: poking fun at it, not the person, but just like
Speaker 1: how ridiculous practices are. Like if that's all you're seeing,
Speaker 1: you can think that's normal and you can follow the
Speaker 1: with your fancy ice, but you really have to ask
Speaker 1: yourself why, you know, is this what I value? Or
Speaker 1: is this just something like I'm seeing in my brain
Speaker 1: is just automatically going to I should do this.
Speaker 2: So yeah, that's what happens, all right. I do love
Speaker 2: what following their sources. Thanks for checking checking that source, Jet,
Speaker 2: because that was a wild fact that turns out to
Speaker 2: not be maybe all that factual. And this is why
Speaker 2: we scour the internet on your behalf to save you
Speaker 2: from this insane research.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, but sometimes the research doesn't take that long.
Speaker 2: I can.
Speaker 1: So I actually I love this next article and I
Speaker 1: can't believe we haven't covered it before. I actually looked
Speaker 1: at episode the show notes for one eighty one. I
Speaker 1: was like, we should have. I've read this article a
Speaker 1: million times, not a million, but a lot. I was like,
Speaker 1: we have to have used it in one eighty one. No,
Speaker 1: we didn't. So the next article is James Clear's how
Speaker 1: to Break a bad habit and replace it with a
Speaker 1: good one. It is one of my favorite articles on
Speaker 1: the internet. But in one eighty one we used it
Speaker 1: James clear article on how to build good habits. So
Speaker 1: this one we're focused on breaking habits and then to
Speaker 1: build habits. Follow up with one eighty one. I know
Speaker 1: that's in the title, but the point of it is
Speaker 1: to get you to listen to one eighty one after
Speaker 1: this one. That's the biggest one.
Speaker 2: James Clear is just a good resource too in learning
Speaker 2: more about habits. So it's why we reference this work
Speaker 2: so often. And you know there's not necessarily oh ten tips,
Speaker 2: five steps, blah blah blah, just kind of taking us
Speaker 2: through what causes bad habits? What can we do about it?
Speaker 2: What are some techniques that work? So we're just gonna
Speaker 2: work our way through that. Yeah, feel free to start
Speaker 2: jen with what causes bad habits?
Speaker 1: All right, So what causes bad habits? Most of your
Speaker 1: bad habits, according to Clear, are caused by two things,
Speaker 1: stress and boredom. And I would say boredom in the
Speaker 1: sense that you're just not being intentional. It is always easier,
Speaker 1: our mind always takes the road with fewer obstacles, And
Speaker 1: so I would say, maybe you're not bored, but your
Speaker 1: mind might be. So I would maybe even add a
Speaker 1: third is just like just like situational, like seasonal kind
Speaker 1: of where you're at, not being intentional about where you
Speaker 1: want to go. A lot of bad habits, especially spending habits,
Speaker 1: can be caused from that, but also stress and definitely
Speaker 1: also boredom. I know, sometimes especially with a newborn. If
Speaker 1: I just want to get out of the house, like
Speaker 1: I'm going to Target because it's too hot outside.
Speaker 2: By comman hands, it's like water. Our brains will take
Speaker 2: the path of least resistance, and I will caveat this
Speaker 2: by saying. All of the other principles that we've talked
Speaker 2: about throughout this podcast still remain. We still have to
Speaker 2: recognize the season that we're in, our current capacities. What
Speaker 2: does kindness to ourselves and well being look like right now?
Speaker 2: And we can't tackle everything all at once, and so
Speaker 2: really measuring whether you're in a season of maybe just
Speaker 2: maintenance or in a season of growth or whatever it is.
Speaker 2: I think you know, Jen, I hear you say, oh man,
Speaker 2: there's these things that I'm doing. Yeah, but you have
Speaker 2: a brand new baby and a four year old and
Speaker 2: you're getting back into the pace of work life. That
Speaker 2: going to Target might not be something that you want
Speaker 2: to be doing to cope in a year from now,
Speaker 2: but is it okay for now? Like there is still
Speaker 2: this spectrum of what is and isn't beneficial for us,
Speaker 2: and going to Target is still far better than going
Speaker 2: to the bar.
Speaker 1: So it is far better than taking my newborn to
Speaker 1: to the bar.
Speaker 2: Right, and that would be a coping mechanism too. So
Speaker 2: I think also learning where you are along the way
Speaker 2: and being kind to yourself in this and recognizing that Okay,
Speaker 2: you bite your nails, you go on shopping sprees, you overspend,
Speaker 2: or you like you might not be able to shift
Speaker 2: all of that all at once. Pick your thing, decide
Speaker 2: what is okay, maybe for a season, check back in
Speaker 2: with yourself. It's all a part of this equation.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But he says that the end of this, recognizing
Speaker 1: the causes of your bad habits is crucial to overcoming them,
Speaker 1: and so I think that just reiterates. So you have
Speaker 1: to recognize the season that you're in, and no, is
Speaker 1: this a season where I can change my bad habits
Speaker 1: or my limiting habits, or is this a season where
Speaker 1: I can, you know, focus on this limiting habit but
Speaker 1: not this one for this reason. So that is definitely
Speaker 1: number one awesome.
Speaker 2: Then the article goes on to explain how we don't
Speaker 2: eliminate bad habits, we replace them. So there's snaps, there's
Speaker 2: no pause there, Okay, picking back up. So there is
Speaker 2: no reality where we can just cut out of our lives,
Speaker 2: something that is ill informed, misplaced, misdirected, non beneficial, without
Speaker 2: replacing it with something else, without identifying, well, what will
Speaker 2: I do instead? If you're accustomed to going to Target
Speaker 2: every single Saturday as a way to just get out
Speaker 2: of the house and you end up spending money, you
Speaker 2: can't just stop that cold turkey. And that goes back
Speaker 2: to that first article of relying on willpower. Well, it
Speaker 2: just doesn't work. There would need to be something else
Speaker 2: coming in to replace that. What will you do instead
Speaker 2: needs to be a really crucial integral part of this equation,
Speaker 2: just even just that recognition that I'm not gonna I'm
Speaker 2: not just gonna get rid of this habit. I'm gonna
Speaker 2: have to identify how to redirect it.
Speaker 1: Yes, absolutely you. It's like when you dig something out
Speaker 1: of a dirt road and you're driving over it. You
Speaker 1: want to replace that that thing that was in the road.
Speaker 1: You got to fill it back up with dirt in
Speaker 1: order to drive over the road. Considering if it's a
Speaker 1: if it's a big thing that you dug out of
Speaker 1: the road, So how big is a shovel? I mean,
Speaker 1: how big is the thing you? I don't I want
Speaker 1: to say like it was a dead animal or something.
Speaker 1: But you've got to fill it back up in order
Speaker 1: to drive over it. You don't just take it out
Speaker 1: and then you know, drive over it, you'll get stuck.
Speaker 1: So that's kind of the idea, is that you don't
Speaker 1: take something away without replacing it because your brain just
Speaker 1: works easier. It works more easily when you replace. So
Speaker 1: then we go into how do we replace how do
Speaker 1: we break the bad habit? So I like James Clear's
Speaker 1: habit loop. It's a smidge different than the traditional habit
Speaker 1: loop of three phases. So he basically takes that habit
Speaker 1: loop and for every reason that you would perform a habit,
Speaker 1: he just like takes the opposite. You just do the opposite.
Speaker 1: So like the first part is well, first you have
Speaker 1: to choose the substitute for your bad habit. But the
Speaker 1: first part of the habit loop is the queue. So
Speaker 1: you just make the queue like obvious, or you make
Speaker 1: the queue. That's how you build one. You make the
Speaker 1: queue kind of as disguise it as much as possible,
Speaker 1: or ignore it as much as possible. So like if
Speaker 1: your habit is picking up Starbucks on the way to work,
Speaker 1: and the drive through you go a different way to work,
Speaker 1: or you get in the lane farthest from the Starbucks.
Speaker 1: So you make it as hard to do the habit
Speaker 1: as possible, cut out as many triggers as possible. And
Speaker 1: so that's the first step to breaking your bad habit.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so, which is twofold. It's that first choosing what
Speaker 2: the substitute is going to be, then cutting out as
Speaker 2: many triggers the thing that's going to come just before.
Speaker 2: If you always eat cookies when you're home and you're
Speaker 2: watching TV, then it might be something that don't watch
Speaker 2: TV at night, like there might be cutting out these
Speaker 2: different triggers that always lead to the next thing of
Speaker 2: the habit. Of course, as it relates to finances and spending,
Speaker 2: there's different things to talk about there. Of if I
Speaker 2: always go to Starbucks on my way to work, then
Speaker 2: maybe I need a different path. I need to take
Speaker 2: a different way to work so that I'm not passing
Speaker 2: that Starbucks. And eventually that will turn the external motivators
Speaker 2: into internal motivators. But initially our brains do need these
Speaker 2: things to just be removed. We can help ourselves out
Speaker 2: by eliminating some of those unnecessary temptations. The next thing
Speaker 2: that they recommend is to join forces with somebody. We
Speaker 2: love this because we think we go further together and
Speaker 2: having community is a massive part of experiencing well being
Speaker 2: and quote unquote success in feeling empowered in your personal
Speaker 2: finances and achieving goals. If we bring someone else along,
Speaker 2: whether you are aimed at the same exact goal or
Speaker 2: similar goals, or you both are just trying to achieve
Speaker 2: something somebody else to be able to talk about that with,
Speaker 2: share what your goal is, share what works for you,
Speaker 2: what's not working, be able to have someone to celebrate
Speaker 2: together with when those little victories and big victories happen.
Speaker 2: Having someone else is a really powerful motivator. Not that
Speaker 2: motivation is the thing to be the driving force, but accountability.
Speaker 2: Community in this process is going to really help us
Speaker 2: stick to it.
Speaker 1: And I think that can go into that kind of
Speaker 1: So there are the three laws of inversion of the
Speaker 1: habit loop. To break that bad habit, the first one
Speaker 1: is to make the cues invisible. The second and third
Speaker 1: are to make the habit unattractive and difficult, and that
Speaker 1: can that's where community really comes in. It's really important
Speaker 1: and this is maybe one of the most difficult things
Speaker 1: that your community supports the direction you are going, whether
Speaker 1: that is family, friends, the people you surround yourself in
Speaker 1: your career, at your job, whatever, those are the people
Speaker 1: that are either going to make it easy to continue
Speaker 1: with limiting habits or make it difficult or unattractive to
Speaker 1: follow through with those habits. If you are surrounding yourself
Speaker 1: with people who lift you up and encourage you to
Speaker 1: reframe your mindset to be better, then it's going to
Speaker 1: be unattractive to be overspending on things that you don't
Speaker 1: truly value. And if you who are spending time with
Speaker 1: people who like to do free things as much as you,
Speaker 1: it's going to make it difficult to overspend in the
Speaker 1: areas you don't want to spend on. So that's why
Speaker 1: we are so invested in having people around you who
Speaker 1: live the way you want to live.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and the next portion of this article and talking
Speaker 2: about how to reform redirect our habits has to do
Speaker 2: with mindset. I'll just list off the three that come next,
Speaker 2: and it's related to visualizing yourself succeeding, not needing to
Speaker 2: become someone else, but return to the old you. And
Speaker 2: some of the things that we can do to interrupt
Speaker 2: negative self talk, and so I think each one could
Speaker 2: be implemented depending on your own personality and what makes
Speaker 2: sense to you. If you are someone who enjoys visualizing
Speaker 2: things and imagine yourself at the place that you want
Speaker 2: to be, then that might be a really helpful mindset
Speaker 2: for you in really daydreaming and envisioning this new life
Speaker 2: can help. It's not going to be the only thing.
Speaker 2: It's not some magic pill, but it does help us
Speaker 2: to imagine and keep that goal in focus. The next
Speaker 2: tip related to the not needing to be someone else,
Speaker 2: just return to the old you. That's a mindset shift
Speaker 2: of recognizing that you don't need to become a new person.
Speaker 2: Chances are that the habits you're trying to break is
Speaker 2: in some form a return to maybe who you used
Speaker 2: to be. Like they use the example of smoking, chances
Speaker 2: are you weren't born smoking, so it's not it's not
Speaker 2: that you need to quit smoking. It's more this mindset
Speaker 2: of you need to return to being a non smoker.
Speaker 2: You probably have not spent money your whole life, so
Speaker 2: it's not like I don't I need to just not
Speaker 2: be this type of person, but rather go back to
Speaker 2: the more simple ways of life. This I think breaks
Speaker 2: down at some point, but I think that that mindset
Speaker 2: can be helpful in I think what it's primarily getting
Speaker 2: at is the narrative and the story we tell ourselves
Speaker 2: about who we are, and that can be a big
Speaker 2: barrier in us achieving and experiencing change. Is well, this
Speaker 2: is who I am. I'm an overspender, I'm a smoker,
Speaker 2: I'm a couch potato like whatever words you would want
Speaker 2: to put on it, and we take that on as
Speaker 2: an identity. And I think that this exercise is mostly
Speaker 2: pointing at how do we shed those negative self talks
Speaker 2: that aren't beneficial to us mostly even aren't true that
Speaker 2: these aren't identifying identity pieces. So there's that one and
Speaker 2: then using the word butt overcome self talk, And I
Speaker 2: like the examples that they give. You know, maybe moving
Speaker 2: from if you feel like you're a person who's a fan,
Speaker 2: you might have this narrative in your head going I'm
Speaker 2: a failure. I'm a failure, and maybe it's shifting it
Speaker 2: to I'm a failure but everybody fails sometimes, or if
Speaker 2: you feel like no one respects me, I'm not a
Speaker 2: respectable person. No one respects me, but I'm working to
Speaker 2: develop a valuable skill. So it's really shifting where we
Speaker 2: typically go what we say about ourselves to the action
Speaker 2: that we're trying to put towards change. And again that's
Speaker 2: all that's mindset, that's taking our thoughts, being aware of them,
Speaker 2: how they are moving our behaviors, and shifting that because
Speaker 2: it all begins in our mind and when we can
Speaker 2: shift the way that we think, then we can shift
Speaker 2: the way that we behave.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and these mindsets are you know, the I'm stupid,
Speaker 1: I'm a failure. Those are not the mindsets you want
Speaker 1: to stick with. The butt is simply just something to
Speaker 1: add at the end instead of a period. Eventually, you
Speaker 1: want to be able to say, I'm not a failure.
Speaker 1: I failed at this one thing, but failing and failing
Speaker 1: better is part of success.
Speaker 2: Yeah, adding the butts is just the first step. Good point, Jen.
Speaker 1: You don't want to stay there, right, And the more
Speaker 1: you dive into creating a growth mindset and developing good
Speaker 1: habits and breaking limiting ones, the more you develop this language.
Speaker 1: It's language that you have to learn, and it's difficult
Speaker 1: to learn after years of saying like I'm bad with money.
Speaker 1: I need to spend money to feel better. All of
Speaker 1: these narratives that we talk to ourselves about money, it's
Speaker 1: hard to break those narratives. You have to learn the
Speaker 1: language to replace the narratives you're telling yourself, and that
Speaker 1: kind of leads the last one is to plan for failure.
Speaker 1: And this is so important because we all slip up
Speaker 1: every now and then. It's what the article says, and
Speaker 1: it's not even we see failure as like this, it's
Speaker 1: a big negative thing. But failing at something or just
Speaker 1: not most of the times is just not succeeding in
Speaker 1: the way that you thought you would succeed. It's not failure.
Speaker 1: So I think the idea is that if you plan
Speaker 1: for failure, it's not in a self sabotaging way where
Speaker 1: you try something but you don't give it you one
Speaker 1: hundred percent because you just assume you'll fail. So we're
Speaker 1: not talking about that, but we're talking about know that
Speaker 1: you're going to make mistakes, know that you're not going
Speaker 1: to be perfect, Know that you're not going to succeed
Speaker 1: in the way that you think you should succeed in
Speaker 1: order to define success. So when you're building a habit
Speaker 1: there's a lie out there that says it's going to
Speaker 1: take you twenty one days to build a habit, and
Speaker 1: the reality is, you know, at least sixty six, somewhere
Speaker 1: closer to one twenty. So whatever you're working on, whatever
Speaker 1: habit you're working on, you'll be working on it for
Speaker 1: three to six months at least, and you're not going
Speaker 1: to be perfect, especially in the first couple of weeks.
Speaker 1: And that's when most people will give up when they're
Speaker 1: trying to break a limiting habit. So plan to not
Speaker 1: be perfect, plan to not succeed in the way you
Speaker 1: think you should.
Speaker 2: Yes, so true. I also love the way that this
Speaker 2: article wraps up in this where to go from here? Section,
Speaker 2: and I appreciate the way that they highlight that it's
Speaker 2: very easy for us to get caught up in how
Speaker 2: we feel about our bad habits or what you know.
Speaker 2: We might label them our bad habits, and we can
Speaker 2: feel guilty, or we will spend our time dreaming up
Speaker 2: how we wish they were. But our feelings are not
Speaker 2: necessarily what's going to actually be the factor that moves
Speaker 2: us to action. It's more so an awareness of what's happening,
Speaker 2: gathering up information that's going to actually make the change
Speaker 2: so great intro into kind of next steps to take.
Speaker 2: So I would encourage anyone to check out this article,
Speaker 2: but they list out questions that you can be asking yourself,
Speaker 2: like when does your bad habit actually happen? How many
Speaker 2: times a day are you engaging in this habit? Where
Speaker 2: are you who are you with? What triggers the behavior
Speaker 2: and causes it to start? And so even just simply tracking,
Speaker 2: very similar to how we approach our personal finances from
Speaker 2: the start of just tracking where's my money going, how's
Speaker 2: it being spent? Who am I with? What happened just
Speaker 2: before it? All of these things are so interconnected, and
Speaker 2: if we can remove some of those feelings, emotional bad
Speaker 2: bagage around it and just be curious about ourselves, the
Speaker 2: our own researchers, if you will gathering this information, it's
Speaker 2: that information that's going to fuel and inform the next steps.
Speaker 2: After you've tracked all of these things, and you can
Speaker 2: look back on that with that curious eye and think, Okay,
Speaker 2: then what can I do? What triggers this? How can
Speaker 2: I eliminate those triggers? What's the Q craving reward? What
Speaker 2: can I be doing instead. Just before this habit might
Speaker 2: be triggered, How can I replace it? What would be
Speaker 2: something that's effective? Where is this beginning? What does this
Speaker 2: tell me about myself? What is it that I'm trying
Speaker 2: to avoid? Are there other coping mechanisms that I'm going
Speaker 2: to feel better about? And all of these things, all
Speaker 2: of these questions will move us towards growth where we're
Speaker 2: not going to fall into those first three habits that
Speaker 2: we talked about in that first article. We are more
Speaker 2: equipped once we go through this process to combat some
Speaker 2: of those other ways that we might be tend We
Speaker 2: might tend to pull in that direction, but we can
Speaker 2: be more intentional as a result of asking ourselves this
Speaker 2: and paying attention and replacing, not just eliminating.
Speaker 1: Yes, you know what will never replace or eliminate, and
Speaker 1: that I have missed so much.
Speaker 2: The Bill of the week.
Speaker 1: That's right, It's time for the best minute of your
Speaker 1: entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name
Speaker 1: is Williams. Maybe you've paid off your mortgage, Maybe your
Speaker 1: car died and you're happy to not have to pay
Speaker 1: that bill anymore.
Speaker 2: US bills, Buffalo bills, Bill Clinton, this is the bill
Speaker 2: of the week.
Speaker 3: Hey, Dana Jel, I have a very small but sweet
Speaker 3: bill of the week for you. Regarding eggs. I like
Speaker 3: when you Americans have not been able to find eggs
Speaker 3: that cost less than I don't know, eight to ten
Speaker 3: dollars a dozen. So I was shopping at my local
Speaker 3: big box store and I wasn't completely floored that there
Speaker 3: were no eggs left that weren't the very very high
Speaker 3: natural whatever variety, and I just wanted I just wanted eggs,
Speaker 3: some large eggs. I saw one carton left of eggs
Speaker 3: kind of lurking in the back behind the price tag
Speaker 3: at dollar eighty nine.
Speaker 2: Open them up.
Speaker 1: One of the eggs was cracked, and I.
Speaker 3: Thought, you know what for dollar ninety nine, I'm just
Speaker 3: going to get eleven eggs. So I get to the
Speaker 3: front start to check out, and I tell the cashier like, ah,
Speaker 3: you know, he's very sweet, and I say, oh, I
Speaker 3: this was the only one left. I can't believe I'm
Speaker 3: buying eggs that you know, has the cracked egg in them,
Speaker 3: and he just kind of laughed. And when he ran
Speaker 3: across the scanner, I saw they rang up four forty nine.
Speaker 3: So I said, oh no, this must have also been
Speaker 3: in the wrong place. But you know, I'm still desper
Speaker 3: for eggs. I'll still buy them. And he just laughed
Speaker 3: very kindly and said, you know what, because i'll give
Speaker 3: them to you for that, I'm going to take off
Speaker 3: more too. He changed the price of those eggs to
Speaker 3: a dollar forty nine. And it was just it was
Speaker 3: just a really nice day. And I just went through
Speaker 3: those eggs very slowly because I was just so grateful
Speaker 3: to have a dozen eggs. And yes, I even use
Speaker 3: the crack one for a dollar forty nine. All right, thanks,
Speaker 3: Jen and Jill, have a great day.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, Katie, your eggs for a dollar forty
Speaker 1: nine A what a relatable and sad experience. B congratulations,
Speaker 1: your kindness got you a discount, and that is fantastic.
Speaker 1: Kindness always wins.
Speaker 2: Sometimes it doesn't, but I love it when it does.
Speaker 1: Well in this community. Kindness always wins, even if it's
Speaker 1: not monetary wins.
Speaker 2: Oh that's so true, Jen. You know what, I don't
Speaker 2: think I've ever heard a story of an egg negotiation,
Speaker 2: but I love this. I don't even know if you
Speaker 2: intended to be negotiating, Katie, but that's the way that
Speaker 2: I'm interpreting this story is that you took your cart
Speaker 2: and of eggs and you negotiated it down to a
Speaker 2: dollar forty nine. You negotiated with kindness, and what an
Speaker 2: amazing bill, and how interesting that something like that can
Speaker 2: really just shift the course of a day. I'm so
Speaker 2: glad that you had a great experience with this cashier
Speaker 2: that you even use the cracked egg. I hope you
Speaker 2: didn't get sick, but well done. Yes, well, we love
Speaker 2: hearing about deals.
Speaker 1: Yes, and it is I mean eggs man, they have
Speaker 1: had their fifteen minutes this year, for sure.
Speaker 2: All the people who have been raising chickens are like, say,
Speaker 2: this is why.
Speaker 1: Yep, your thousand dollars investment has saved you money in
Speaker 1: the long run. But I have been using so I'll
Speaker 1: make a baked oatmeal like almost every weekend, and it
Speaker 1: calls for two eggs, and this year I have been
Speaker 1: going down to one egg and one flax egg. It
Speaker 1: works flax a flax egg, and I could do two
Speaker 1: flax eggs. I just kind of like to split the difference.
Speaker 1: But it's a tablespoon of ground flax seed, two tablespoons
Speaker 1: of water. You mix it up and let it sit
Speaker 1: for a few minutes and it gets a kind of
Speaker 1: a gelatinous consistency and it works just like an egg
Speaker 1: in baked goods.
Speaker 2: So you've got some great tips. John, you should start
Speaker 2: a podcast. Thanks you gout having babies.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 2: Maybe I will sometimes I will replace eggs with apple sauce. Yes,
Speaker 2: another going vegan of apple sauce is any cheaper than eggs.
Speaker 1: Vegans are having their moment for sure, because they're like, no, no,
Speaker 1: eight dollars eggs for us. No, we've been living this
Speaker 1: life that is. And that's what we got out of
Speaker 1: this Bill of the week, and well done.
Speaker 2: If you all listening, want to submit your bill, If
Speaker 2: you're a vegan having your fifteen minutes, or you're a
Speaker 2: chicken farmer having your fifteen minutes, or you are just
Speaker 2: out there slighing like Katie negotiating your eggs at the
Speaker 2: checkout counter, we want to hear about it, or just
Speaker 2: any other podcast or any other bill related to anything
Speaker 2: related to bills. We keep it loosey goosey. Visit Frugal
Speaker 2: Friends podcast dot com, slash bill. Leave us your bill.
Speaker 2: We are here for it, and now it's time for
Speaker 2: letting your own well come back, chack.
Speaker 1: I hope you've been saving those intense sound effects for me.
Speaker 2: Ah, you just you can been missing this thing my aggression.
Speaker 1: Yes, I am excited for this lightning round because I
Speaker 1: had an immediate answer, and I've heard Jill's answer was
Speaker 1: also immediate, but has changed. But we'll see. Do you
Speaker 1: want me to go first or you you need time
Speaker 1: to do a gay one?
Speaker 2: Please go first?
Speaker 1: All right? So the question is what's a recent habit
Speaker 1: you had to replace and how did you do it?
Speaker 1: So for the first six weeks of my new son's life,
Speaker 1: I ate frozen waffles every morning for six weeks that it's.
Speaker 2: Now cole On, Can I can I pause you in
Speaker 2: your story?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Can I interject? Was there any shame in that? Was
Speaker 2: that an active choice that you felt good about?
Speaker 1: It was not a choice that I made intentionally. At first,
Speaker 1: before I went to the hospital, I filled up my
Speaker 1: freezer food because and just easy food and waffles were
Speaker 1: the first thing to go. It was my treat for
Speaker 1: making it through the night. I got through the night
Speaker 1: because I knew waffles were in the morning. It was
Speaker 1: that was a real thing. I literally was up several
Speaker 1: times a night, but I'm like, in the morning, I'm
Speaker 1: making waffles in the toaster.
Speaker 2: Yes, like don't eat them shrag.
Speaker 1: Yes. So that really got me through the first few
Speaker 1: weeks and then just became a habit. It just became
Speaker 1: a habit every morning for six weeks. And at that time,
Speaker 1: I'm like, this is not a treat anymore. I need
Speaker 1: to redirect this. So I have replaced it with eggs
Speaker 1: because I have an endless amount of money at my disposal,
Speaker 1: and so I have been eating egg cups and breakfast burritos.
Speaker 1: So like you know, turkey bacon and eggs inside of tortilla.
Speaker 1: That is little in my breakfast burrito. Two slices of
Speaker 1: turkey bacon, an egg, and a low carb tortilla. That's
Speaker 1: my breakfast burrito. It's not fancy, but I love it.
Speaker 1: Or like an egg cup each like muffin tin has
Speaker 1: one egg and a like an apple, not an apple,
Speaker 1: a chicken sausage. Brought a morning chicken sausage. So that
Speaker 1: is what I have replaced my waffles with.
Speaker 2: But that's work, and you might not have been able
Speaker 2: to dig I was not.
Speaker 1: Weeks right, and I'll meal plant them. So like on
Speaker 1: Sunday I'll go through a dozen eggs between making my
Speaker 1: egg cups and my breakfast burrito, and I'll just bake both.
Speaker 1: So like I'll do six eggs, whip them up and
Speaker 1: put them in the egg cups with the chicken sausages,
Speaker 1: and then the other six I'll put into a glass
Speaker 1: baking and I'll put all those in the oven, bake them,
Speaker 1: and then they're there for the week. So it's not
Speaker 1: that much work because I still my son's you know,
Speaker 1: almost like just nine weeks old, so is he's still
Speaker 1: very tiny. No, I mean he's huge, he's a chunk,
Speaker 1: but he's, you know, compared to regular sized humans tiny, right,
Speaker 1: and he still wakes her to.
Speaker 2: Other babies his size, he's right in the pack. But yes,
Speaker 2: oh my god, so well, and how interesting. I think
Speaker 2: what you're saying is bringing up such a good point.
Speaker 2: I think sometimes we can identify this has now become
Speaker 2: a bad behavior, what a behavior we want to replace,
Speaker 2: where it was a habit that was intentional to begin with.
Speaker 2: So it was almost as if, you know, when we
Speaker 2: talk about Q craving reward, and one of the ways
Speaker 2: to replace a habit is to give yourself some sort
Speaker 2: of reward and what's that going to be? And it
Speaker 2: sounds like that was the response to a previous larger
Speaker 2: issue of sleepless nights, and how will I get through
Speaker 2: this sleepless night with a good attitude doing the things
Speaker 2: that I need to be doing. Your reward, which made
Speaker 2: sense at the time, were waffles, And now that's kind
Speaker 2: of turned into this coping mechanism, habit, whatever you want
Speaker 2: to call it, that now you want to replace, and
Speaker 2: I think that will probably that cycle will probably keep
Speaker 2: happening throughout.
Speaker 1: And I replaced it with something just as delicious and
Speaker 1: just I mean almost just as easy to make because
Speaker 1: in the mornings, I literally just pop them into the
Speaker 1: microwave and they're good, and they're very quick to prep
Speaker 1: I'll prep them when I make dinner on Sunday night.
Speaker 1: That's when I throw the eggs in the oven. So
Speaker 1: I've been doing that for a few weeks and it's
Speaker 1: been great, and it has been like an even replacement
Speaker 1: I just made. So I was saying, how I made
Speaker 1: like an oatmeal bake every weekend until I gave birth.
Speaker 1: I've in those two months. I've just made my first
Speaker 1: one again this past weekend, so that was something I
Speaker 1: really enjoyed. That has been too much work up until
Speaker 1: this point, and I probably still am not going to
Speaker 1: make them every weekend. Just this weekend was a you know,
Speaker 1: a good I found myself thirty minutes of time to do.
Speaker 2: So I think it just highlights that it might be
Speaker 2: for some it's a bad habit, for others it's a
Speaker 2: fine habit. For for some seasons of life, it's okay,
Speaker 2: and then other times we want to shift it. So
Speaker 2: I think it really your story in this is highlighting
Speaker 2: just the permission there and to just focus on one
Speaker 2: thing at a time. Before it was sleep and survival.
Speaker 2: Now it's okay, how can I feed my body a
Speaker 2: little bit more healthy, sustainable foods.
Speaker 1: And it's why I don't like using the term bad habit,
Speaker 1: because long term eating waffles every morning is a bad habit.
Speaker 1: But for me it was not a bad habit. It
Speaker 1: was just a a limiting habit, and it was for
Speaker 1: intentional for a reason. And then when I decided that
Speaker 1: I didn't want that anymore, though I do still love waffles,
Speaker 1: I went through a lot of maple syrup. I my
Speaker 1: check book could not handle the amount of maple syrup
Speaker 1: I went through, I had to switch.
Speaker 2: To right the same, same, same, like my son a
Speaker 2: bad habit. You know, it serves me.
Speaker 1: This makes me sound so like more PG, but like, honestly,
Speaker 1: I could have the same Jill and I could be
Speaker 1: telling the same stories. So don't don't get it twisted, Okay.
Speaker 2: Jen has encouraged me to not eliminate what I was
Speaker 2: the only thing I could say to offer to you
Speaker 2: find folks listening to this podcast, and she's encouraging me
Speaker 2: towards vulnerability. And here it is. I do like to
Speaker 2: be authentic and I'm not ashamed of this, and I
Speaker 2: am a work in progress now. I have been on
Speaker 2: a journey of what I feel is an okay amount
Speaker 2: of consumption of alcohol. I have no problems with alcohol,
Speaker 2: like as far as the way that I view it
Speaker 2: or the way that I engage with it. But there
Speaker 2: are times that I can kind of ebb and flow
Speaker 2: with Oh, I would like to be abstinent from this
Speaker 2: thing for a time, and so I would say more
Speaker 2: recently it's been I don't honestly, I think I've heard
Speaker 2: from so many people through the pandemic how alcohol consumption
Speaker 2: went up a little bit because what else are you
Speaker 2: going to do when you're sitting at home and working
Speaker 2: from home, And not that I drank while I was working.
Speaker 2: Still have some standards around that stay tuned though, and
Speaker 2: I think just there were times where I went months
Speaker 2: without consuming alcohol and then I was like, I enjoy
Speaker 2: it though. It's a fun thing to do out with
Speaker 2: friends and we've got people visiting. So anyhow, all that
Speaker 2: to say, more recently, I've just been trying to limit
Speaker 2: how much I'm consuming, keeping track of what that is.
Speaker 2: I never will have more than one or two drinks,
Speaker 2: like on any given day. I'm not I hate the
Speaker 2: feeling of being drunk. I just enjoy a nicely crafted
Speaker 2: cocktail or a glass of wine. But even still, I
Speaker 2: don't want to do that every day. I want my
Speaker 2: body to be able to get nutrients. And so anyhow,
Speaker 2: I've gone through seasons where a glass of wine or
Speaker 2: a cocktail almost marks the end of the day for me,
Speaker 2: and realizing that this might have become a habit, this
Speaker 2: kind of ritualized behavior. It's how I'm marking the movement
Speaker 2: of one of you know, maybe work life into personal
Speaker 2: life kind of a thing. And so I have worked
Speaker 2: on replacing that with something, realizing I can't just not
Speaker 2: do this there, I'm going for something in the fridge,
Speaker 2: and so I've replaced it with either tea or something
Speaker 2: I've really been enjoying. Honestly, I know this sounds so silly,
Speaker 2: but just like iced lemon water is so refreshing to
Speaker 2: me as we're getting into the summer month, so that
Speaker 2: has really worked. But also I'm not abstinent from alcohol altogether.
Speaker 2: So there you have it, Like I'm there, I'm trying
Speaker 2: to hold the radical middle in that even as I
Speaker 2: see all of these people moving towards abstinence on all
Speaker 2: things is the key to well being, I think for
Speaker 2: me there's permission for that to be different. While also
Speaker 2: I did to find what's gonna be best for me,
Speaker 2: and can I replace some of this with enjoyable bevy
Speaker 2: bevyes enjoyable non alcoholic bevyes.
Speaker 1: Yes, I mean I too enjoy an alcoholic bevy and
Speaker 1: I've been abstinate from them for nine months, So.
Speaker 2: Yeah, being pregnant kind of forces your hand in that regard.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's the worst. So I could say the same thing,
Speaker 1: but no, mine was waffles. But to each their own.
Speaker 2: We just love food and drink folks, what more can
Speaker 2: we say?
Speaker 1: And that's gonna be I think a lot of people
Speaker 1: is one of I mean probably you should probably work
Speaker 1: on one habit at a time, and probably the first
Speaker 1: habit is gonna be something food related. And so now
Speaker 1: that we are with you on that. So sometimes you
Speaker 1: replace cheap waffles for very expensive eggs, but sometimes you
Speaker 1: replace expensive alcohol with really inexpensive lemon water. So look
Speaker 1: at your habits, pick one and start to replace it.
Speaker 1: Know that you will not do it perfectly.
Speaker 2: Just like Jill, I'm not doing it perfectly, but I
Speaker 2: will say though, as it relates to spending, because there
Speaker 2: is an intersection here, you know, especially when it comes
Speaker 2: to food and alcohol. One of the shifts that Eric
Speaker 2: and I have made in the last few months is
Speaker 2: not buying alcohol out, which might not be everybody's story,
Speaker 2: but for us, that's a big expense. Is alcohol out.
Speaker 2: For us, we'd rather and we used to like do
Speaker 2: bartending events and that kind of thing so we can
Speaker 2: make really enjoyable cocktails. So we do that at home.
Speaker 2: The other choice that we made is to not have
Speaker 2: all the different types of liquor on hand and feel
Speaker 2: like we have to keep stocking our cabinet, but choosing one.
Speaker 2: So right now we've chosen. We're just going to have
Speaker 2: gin on hand and that has helped to cut down
Speaker 2: the budget. And when the gin's gone, that's it. When
Speaker 2: the gens comes on next until the next I don't know,
Speaker 2: month or whatever. I can't tell you exactly my timing
Speaker 2: on all of that, but making ways where it can
Speaker 2: be connected to some of these financial decisions and then
Speaker 2: creating some of those limiting factors, removing some of those triggers,
Speaker 2: putting some parameters in place. That is also helping our
Speaker 2: finances too, which is great. Hope that that was helpful, informative, encouraging, permissive,
Speaker 2: whatever you needed this episode to be. Thank you for listening.
Speaker 2: Many of you know, but we're going to say it again.
Speaker 2: We have a membership for our listeners, many of which
Speaker 2: are paying down debt or they're getting after other personal
Speaker 2: finance goals. We're here for it all. We do much
Speaker 2: monthly money challenges. We offer accountability groups, you can connect
Speaker 2: with other frugal friends, have someone to help build and
Speaker 2: replace habits with together, and we want to congratulate one
Speaker 2: of our members for a big win. This comes from
Speaker 2: Vanessa Bee, who writes Big Win Teaching the Next Generations.
Speaker 2: I was asked to teach cooking classes for our junior
Speaker 2: high students at my school. So I asked my principal
Speaker 2: if I could add a financial component to it, and
Speaker 2: she said absolutely, they need to develop these skills. At
Speaker 2: the end of the class, I made them look through
Speaker 2: the flyers and they had to pick ten products that
Speaker 2: their family uses and that they considered on sale. They
Speaker 2: kept asking, but how are we going to know? And
Speaker 2: I'd answer, well, that's the thing. The first time you
Speaker 2: do it, you don't know. But I'm hoping that by
Speaker 2: June you are masters at recognizing what's a good price.
Speaker 2: They're keeping a log book anyway. I feel so full
Speaker 2: after that class. I love sharing those tricks with them,
Speaker 2: and I can see that they the value in them.
Speaker 2: I even told them, if your parents slash you save
Speaker 2: money on groceries, that means more money for things you like.
Speaker 2: Values based budgeting celebration emoji. I even got to bring
Speaker 2: back some food that would have gone to waste at
Speaker 2: home afterwards. Apparently no one likes mushrooms. Oh my crazy,
Speaker 2: crazy I emoji.
Speaker 1: Vanessa, this is so great. I love it whenever I
Speaker 1: can talk to a young person about spending money, because
Speaker 1: we're expected to just get into college and move out
Speaker 1: and know how to spend money, know how to get
Speaker 1: a legitimately good deal. But so often we're not taught.
Speaker 1: We're just we're just taught look for the sale or
Speaker 1: not even Uh so this is such great, great information,
Speaker 1: way more important than the Pythagoron theorem. I'm sorry for
Speaker 1: everyone that you use. Sorry sorry Pathagren theorem theorem on
Speaker 1: a day to day basis, but this is better to me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well done, Vanessa, and thanks again for listening everyone.
Speaker 2: If you want to check out that membership where Vanessa
Speaker 2: is and other amazing Frugal Friends where we also have
Speaker 2: all kinds of courses, interviews, challenges to make it fun,
Speaker 2: and so much more, head to Frugal Friends podcast dot
Speaker 2: com slash club you can just kind of see what
Speaker 2: we got, see if it's a good fit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, see you next time. Frugal Friends is produced by
Speaker 1: Eric Sirianni.
Speaker 2: Jen We did it? Welcome back? Have that to you?
Speaker 1: I felt a little rusty.
Speaker 2: Oh you didn't seem it to me, But.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm back. Like it's uh It's good
Speaker 1: to be back. I feel like I'm talking to our
Speaker 1: frugal friends and not just to an infant who like
Speaker 1: can't reciprocate. I view when I'm when I'm talking on
Speaker 1: the podcast, I view this like inanimate woman driving her car,
Speaker 1: like hearing knowledge bombs and like having her life changed.
Speaker 1: And that might be a little arrogant of me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I came back with an ego, but that's that is
Speaker 1: much more.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 1: But I cannot see the person listening, So that's I'm
Speaker 1: allowed to think that. And when I see my son
Speaker 1: sitting on my lap and I'm talking to him and
Speaker 1: he's just like nothing, and I'm like, oh man, you.
Speaker 2: Got maybe she's still like teaching him everything he might
Speaker 2: retain it. I picture a woman definitely in the car,
Speaker 2: That's that's for sure. And and when I'm not picturing that,
Speaker 2: it's a woman running or walking with earbuds in occasionally
Speaker 2: needing to stop up and tie her shoes. I never
Speaker 2: realized it until right now. Isn't putting into words like
Speaker 2: I picture some woman running and stopping to tie her shes.
Speaker 1: Wow, that's weird.
Speaker 2: It's very weird. So the woman tying her shoes we're
Speaker 2: here for you today. This most's for you.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Great, if you're just feeling I think, also more
Speaker 1: so than knowledge bombs, feeling like I think just feeling
Speaker 1: a sigh of relief and permission is like she's holding
Speaker 1: the wheel and she's like okay, like feeling permission. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so maybe that's what I mean by knowledge bombs.
Speaker 2: Meanwhile, all of our actual listeners are like listening to
Speaker 2: us on the toilet, like we're not driving or running.
Speaker 1: Please follow us on Instagram at Frugal Friends podcast and
Speaker 1: let us know where you're listening from. Please, we are
Speaker 1: what you're feeling, and i'll maybe maybe i'll picture you,
Speaker 1: or maybe if you don't want me to picture you,
Speaker 1: don't comment, but I will. I'll keep the face ambiguous.