1 00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:07,920 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to Steph. 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:18,599 Speaker 1: I never told your production of I Heart Radio it 3 00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:20,680 Speaker 1: is time for another book club. We're a little late 4 00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:23,000 Speaker 1: on this one. Yeah, we get we're a little hind 5 00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:26,040 Speaker 1: but we'll get there. Yeah, we are there. In fact, 6 00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:31,120 Speaker 1: this is another listener suggestion because today we're talking about 7 00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:34,480 Speaker 1: the Joy Luck Club and this is also another book 8 00:00:34,479 --> 00:00:37,879 Speaker 1: that you had already read, right, yes, yes, And I 9 00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:40,320 Speaker 1: think it's fantastic that we're doing this also because it 10 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:44,360 Speaker 1: is a p I Heritage month and um, though I 11 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:48,240 Speaker 1: don't necessarily think too much on it because my heritage 12 00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:50,680 Speaker 1: is Korean, but all of those like so I'll think 13 00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:53,840 Speaker 1: about it all the time necessarily, but I think it's 14 00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:57,760 Speaker 1: a good time for us to visit this book. And yes, 15 00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:00,760 Speaker 1: I have read it. Before I leave. I read it. 16 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:04,959 Speaker 1: I think it was one of my accelerated reader books 17 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:07,960 Speaker 1: because I told you I like to do the adult 18 00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:09,920 Speaker 1: version so I could get all the points. And it's 19 00:01:09,959 --> 00:01:13,840 Speaker 1: a very long book and I'm pretty sure I had 20 00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:17,560 Speaker 1: read it for that specifically, But it was such an 21 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:20,039 Speaker 1: impactful book because when I read it, I believe I 22 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:24,080 Speaker 1: was in my teens early teens, and I had not 23 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:28,360 Speaker 1: read many books I had any type of Asian persons 24 00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:32,560 Speaker 1: or Asian representatives at all, even though it's not my 25 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:35,800 Speaker 1: culture and it's not my heritage. Obviously, I am a 26 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:38,480 Speaker 1: Korean uh and so therefore it's very different. As well 27 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:41,000 Speaker 1: as the fact that I was raised in the mountains 28 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:44,600 Speaker 1: of Georgia beginning from six seven on, because I moved 29 00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:48,520 Speaker 1: into the US at seven, it was still reminiscent and 30 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:51,320 Speaker 1: made me long for a thing that I felt like 31 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:54,560 Speaker 1: I was missing out on. But it also felt nice, 32 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:58,840 Speaker 1: especially since the movie came out in and seeing Asian 33 00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:02,880 Speaker 1: faces as an actual storyline instead of just you know, 34 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:07,040 Speaker 1: secondary figures or um the stereotypical figures. You know that 35 00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:11,720 Speaker 1: it's often just a mockery of Asian people, so it 36 00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:13,720 Speaker 1: was nice to see this and to see them human. 37 00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:16,160 Speaker 1: Of course, we can talk about all of the critics 38 00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:18,680 Speaker 1: who have a lot to say about how this may 39 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:23,960 Speaker 1: be enhancing negative stereotypes, for sure, But for me at 40 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:27,119 Speaker 1: that point in time, living in the mountains of Georgia 41 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:31,400 Speaker 1: with all the white people's seeing faces that looked reminiscent 42 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:36,240 Speaker 1: to mine as actual humans and families and stories was 43 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:39,639 Speaker 1: phenomenal and reading that as well, so definitely something that 44 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:42,239 Speaker 1: I was really excited to read, and I'm really glad 45 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:44,600 Speaker 1: to get to revisit it. Yeah, I had never read 46 00:02:44,639 --> 00:02:46,800 Speaker 1: it before, but I have an interesting story about I 47 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:50,360 Speaker 1: already owned it and before you came to work with 48 00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:52,400 Speaker 1: the Samantha, we had a really cool tradition in our office. 49 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:55,320 Speaker 1: This was also when we were a much smaller company 50 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,360 Speaker 1: and it's like thirty of us, but we would do 51 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:03,360 Speaker 1: a white elf fins where we would all wrap a 52 00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:07,760 Speaker 1: book that we'd already read and exchange. This is a 53 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:11,600 Speaker 1: real blast from the past. But if anybody has listened 54 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:13,920 Speaker 1: to the entire catalog, or I guess just older episodes 55 00:03:13,919 --> 00:03:20,480 Speaker 1: of Stuckuments in History Class. One of the older host, Sarah, 56 00:03:20,639 --> 00:03:24,200 Speaker 1: her entry was joy Let Club and that's the one 57 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:28,440 Speaker 1: that I picked. And I had heard of it because 58 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:30,840 Speaker 1: of the movie, I think, and it did. I mean 59 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:33,560 Speaker 1: when it came out when we'll talk about this, it 60 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:36,560 Speaker 1: was really popular and really were well received. But I 61 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:39,440 Speaker 1: had not read it because you know, you can't see 62 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,560 Speaker 1: it listens with savant Acain. I have a lot of 63 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:44,840 Speaker 1: books and I had to remember when I was like, 64 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:47,280 Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to set aside sometime to search survival. 65 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:50,240 Speaker 1: I like that fact that you look back saying like 66 00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:53,800 Speaker 1: oh no, essentially trying to figure out a plan how 67 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:57,160 Speaker 1: to dig this book from the pile. And it was 68 00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:59,600 Speaker 1: really really funny because I like put it on my calendar. 69 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:02,400 Speaker 1: I blocked off like an hour. I rolled up my sleeves, 70 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:04,600 Speaker 1: I put my hair up, and I was like, here 71 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:07,040 Speaker 1: we go. And I got on my step sool and 72 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,680 Speaker 1: it was the first book on to Okay, I's gonna 73 00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:12,880 Speaker 1: ask how long did it take? So like fifty eight 74 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:17,000 Speaker 1: minutes left. It was pretty nice nice. So you just 75 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:20,920 Speaker 1: blocked off of some reading times right there. I did. 76 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:23,520 Speaker 1: I did, and I was like you said, it's a 77 00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:25,680 Speaker 1: long book, but it was pretty quick read for me. 78 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:29,479 Speaker 1: Um I it was really really well written, and I 79 00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:32,480 Speaker 1: enjoyed it quite a bit. I think that's one of 80 00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:34,320 Speaker 1: the things about that Boo gets stuck with me. The 81 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:36,719 Speaker 1: of course re reading it, it's been a long long 82 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:40,599 Speaker 1: time and rereading it, I still remember these impactful scenes 83 00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:43,200 Speaker 1: which we're gonna talk about and just thinking on like 84 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:46,040 Speaker 1: the level. And of course we've talked about this earlier. 85 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:48,640 Speaker 1: We talked about this in our recent Happy Hour episode 86 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:52,400 Speaker 1: about heritage and legacy, and this is just dripping with 87 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:55,240 Speaker 1: all of those themes. And I definitely have a moment 88 00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:58,720 Speaker 1: of trying to reconcile the fact that I don't have 89 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:02,000 Speaker 1: this legacy and I don't this heritage and trying to 90 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:05,559 Speaker 1: debate how to find that and how that that works 91 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:08,080 Speaker 1: for me. And reading this book definitely reminds me of that. 92 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:10,520 Speaker 1: I think that's why I loved it too. It fulfilled 93 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:15,080 Speaker 1: a bit of me then you didn't have that makes sense? Um. Yeah, 94 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:17,719 Speaker 1: And this book was actually first published in nineteen eighty nine, 95 00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:20,520 Speaker 1: and yeah, it became a movie in ninety three with 96 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:23,440 Speaker 1: Mgna Win, which I talked about all the time because 97 00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:25,720 Speaker 1: I love her. I love her so much. I think 98 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:28,360 Speaker 1: she was one of the first Asian actresses that I 99 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:33,400 Speaker 1: actually saw with depth. Like of course, many more Chinese 100 00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:35,560 Speaker 1: movies came out, and I love those. So I love 101 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:37,479 Speaker 1: hero and all of all the different actresses that we 102 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:40,679 Speaker 1: see and actors we've seen that, but Magna when had 103 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:43,479 Speaker 1: the you know, the Asian cheeks that I feel like 104 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:45,360 Speaker 1: I had that like a little sticker and cute, but 105 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:48,640 Speaker 1: like she's a beautiful woman who was not seeing just 106 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:51,719 Speaker 1: as a prop where she was the voice in Mulan, 107 00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:55,520 Speaker 1: which made me love her even more in the Disney 108 00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:59,000 Speaker 1: animation version, of course, and of course she's now part 109 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:01,920 Speaker 1: of the Our Wars world. And I was so excited 110 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:04,120 Speaker 1: I kept screaming at the TV and my partner just 111 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:06,480 Speaker 1: looked at me, like, what what's going on because he 112 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:09,400 Speaker 1: couldn't understand how excited I'm like. And also, this woman 113 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:13,159 Speaker 1: has not aged. This woman has not aged, Like there's 114 00:06:13,279 --> 00:06:19,279 Speaker 1: something phenomenal about having watched her literally over what twenty 115 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:22,960 Speaker 1: something years, twenty seven years, twenty eight years is the 116 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:25,920 Speaker 1: first time I saw her and she has not changed. 117 00:06:27,839 --> 00:06:30,800 Speaker 1: But anyway, I love Also Russell Wong. I have a 118 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:33,120 Speaker 1: huge crush on him, so seeing him he was actually 119 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:39,479 Speaker 1: a bad guy in this movie. So Murph, Yes, I 120 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:44,440 Speaker 1: have enjoyed mg Nowen and uh the Mandalorian, and I 121 00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:46,800 Speaker 1: loved when she geeked out about Star Wars and she 122 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:49,279 Speaker 1: was like, this is how impactful the Skywalker was for me, 123 00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:52,000 Speaker 1: and to imagine I'd be acting with him, and I 124 00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:55,440 Speaker 1: was like, oh, I feel you, feel you. I just 125 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:57,960 Speaker 1: love her at Dragon Convents, it was very cool. Oh, 126 00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,960 Speaker 1: I think I might actually like if I actually worked 127 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:03,800 Speaker 1: to meet her. I don't get to fluster with celebrities. 128 00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:07,000 Speaker 1: Because I'm just like, yeah, whatever. She would be one 129 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,400 Speaker 1: of those that I'd just be like, oh my god, 130 00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:14,920 Speaker 1: I love you, and you like quietly back, and then 131 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:21,520 Speaker 1: I never actually speak to her. Yes, yes well. This 132 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:24,440 Speaker 1: book is written by Amy Tan and it follows four 133 00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:29,560 Speaker 1: fictional Chinese immigrant families, particularly mothers and daughters, after they 134 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:33,720 Speaker 1: migrate to the United States. With sixteen interwoven stories, it 135 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:37,520 Speaker 1: tells the intergenerational and intercultural stories and conflicts of the 136 00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:41,600 Speaker 1: mothers and their daughters who were raised in America when 137 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:44,880 Speaker 1: it comes to things like yes, culture and heritage. One 138 00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:48,800 Speaker 1: of the daughters, Jing May or June, journeys to China 139 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:52,560 Speaker 1: to meet her half sisters twins that her mother was 140 00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:55,120 Speaker 1: forced to leave there she fled Japanese invasion during World 141 00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:59,200 Speaker 1: War two. Um and their mom intended to return for 142 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:01,440 Speaker 1: her daughters, but died before she could. So it's kind 143 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:07,040 Speaker 1: of framed around that premise of Jing May learning that 144 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:11,320 Speaker 1: and then having questions about heritage and culture and these 145 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:15,720 Speaker 1: stories of her mother and how can she tell those stories. Yeah. 146 00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:18,640 Speaker 1: The four families come together to form the joy Luck Club, 147 00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:22,240 Speaker 1: a weekly gathering to play meijng and eat delicious booze 148 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:24,800 Speaker 1: that Jimmy's mother, so young part took up in China, 149 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:27,760 Speaker 1: and we started with the three other Chinese immigrant families 150 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:32,360 Speaker 1: in San Francisco. So and of course the differentiations between 151 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:35,640 Speaker 1: the two clubs are very evident, uh, including the fact 152 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:39,000 Speaker 1: that it kind of now has become an investment club 153 00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:41,760 Speaker 1: and they take their money and invest in different stocks. 154 00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:44,200 Speaker 1: So I thought that was interesting. After her mom's death, 155 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:46,920 Speaker 1: and Jimmy takes her mom's spot in the club, and 156 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:49,400 Speaker 1: that's how she learns of her half sisters in China 157 00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:52,360 Speaker 1: and her mother searched for them. The other women in 158 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:55,560 Speaker 1: the club encouraging May to continue her mother's work and 159 00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:58,640 Speaker 1: reunite with our half sisters, and she may express his 160 00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:01,000 Speaker 1: concerns that she won't be able to tell her mother's story, 161 00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:04,000 Speaker 1: and the other women at the club, Thando yinging in 162 00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:07,080 Speaker 1: On May admit her concerns might not be unfounded and 163 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:11,640 Speaker 1: that they have some similar concerns about their own daughters. Structurally, 164 00:09:11,679 --> 00:09:14,160 Speaker 1: the book is set up like a ma Gen game 165 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:18,920 Speaker 1: four sections further divided into four narratives, and the first section, 166 00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:21,560 Speaker 1: the mothers tell the stories of their lives and remember 167 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:24,160 Speaker 1: their own mothers. Although Jing May tells her own mother 168 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:26,480 Speaker 1: story what she knows of it since her mom had 169 00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:29,800 Speaker 1: passed away, And yeah, they worry that their daughters won't 170 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:33,440 Speaker 1: remember them with the same appreciation or dedication that they 171 00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:36,720 Speaker 1: feel like they remember their own mothers. And the next 172 00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:40,240 Speaker 1: section we learned about the four daughters, jing May, Waverley, Rose, 173 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:43,480 Speaker 1: and Lena and their experiences and their own memories of 174 00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:46,720 Speaker 1: their their mother's stronger perhaps than the mothers believe that 175 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:50,920 Speaker 1: they are. The following section digs into problems the adult 176 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:55,000 Speaker 1: daughters are having in things like relationships and careers, and 177 00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:59,439 Speaker 1: also conflicting ideas about how the ways of their mothers 178 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:02,360 Speaker 1: don't fit in with their American upbringing and ways to 179 00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:05,480 Speaker 1: reconcile that. In the last section, the mothers try to 180 00:10:05,559 --> 00:10:08,120 Speaker 1: bridge that gap and in the process learn more about 181 00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:10,600 Speaker 1: themselves and their daughters and the things they've passed on 182 00:10:10,679 --> 00:10:16,840 Speaker 1: our haven't, whether it's culture, religion, our passivity. Each section 183 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:19,720 Speaker 1: opens with a parable related to the themes to be 184 00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:24,400 Speaker 1: covered in the coming section, like sacrifice and loss, and 185 00:10:24,559 --> 00:10:28,480 Speaker 1: the stories are presented in short vignettes. Through it, the 186 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:31,760 Speaker 1: readers learn the formative experiences that made each of the 187 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:34,040 Speaker 1: characters who they are, whether it's watching your mother making 188 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:37,320 Speaker 1: sacrifices for her own mother that disowned her and arranged 189 00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:40,960 Speaker 1: marriage or yes, leaving your daughters behind right, jim May 190 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:43,640 Speaker 1: travels to China and locates her half sisters and by 191 00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:46,280 Speaker 1: telling them about their mother, tells her mother's stories and 192 00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:50,520 Speaker 1: helps strengthen two more mother daughter relationships. From Amy Tan, 193 00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:53,640 Speaker 1: when reflecting on thirty years of this book, she said, 194 00:10:53,679 --> 00:10:56,199 Speaker 1: the characters are mothers who immigrated from China and their 195 00:10:56,240 --> 00:11:00,200 Speaker 1: modern thirties something American born daughters. The relationships are wrought 196 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:03,760 Speaker 1: with years of misunderstand things and accumulated pain. A mother's 197 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:07,080 Speaker 1: hopes and expectations become a daughter's sense of failure. A 198 00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:09,800 Speaker 1: mother's advice is received by a daughter as a rejection 199 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:12,760 Speaker 1: of who she really is. The mother, in return, fills 200 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:15,559 Speaker 1: her daughter knows nothing about her and has learned nothing 201 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:19,040 Speaker 1: from her mother, the one who loved her best. In 202 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:21,439 Speaker 1: that same article, she wrote about how many people often 203 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:24,920 Speaker 1: perceived this book as a memoir even though it's not, 204 00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:28,520 Speaker 1: but how fiction can take pieces of truths from ourselves 205 00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:31,800 Speaker 1: and twist them or a Japan was a really interesting take, 206 00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:34,440 Speaker 1: and I loved her anecdotes of people coming up to 207 00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:36,360 Speaker 1: her like how did you deal when your mother did this, 208 00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:38,080 Speaker 1: and she's like, well, actually, my mother never did that. 209 00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:43,559 Speaker 1: I was just The power of storytelling is one of 210 00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:46,520 Speaker 1: the main themes throughout the novel. Quote, it's useless to 211 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:48,480 Speaker 1: write about these things, my uncle said to my mother. 212 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:51,120 Speaker 1: She can't change the past. My mother said in a 213 00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:54,880 Speaker 1: fire response, she can tell people what my mother suffered 214 00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:57,400 Speaker 1: a stain. She could not rebuff her back. She can 215 00:11:57,400 --> 00:12:00,720 Speaker 1: tell the world. That's how she can change it. And 216 00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:03,679 Speaker 1: the story itself was in part the result of a 217 00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:06,400 Speaker 1: promise Tam made to her mother and any deity that 218 00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:09,240 Speaker 1: would listen after her mother had what was at the 219 00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:11,720 Speaker 1: time preliminary believed to be a heart attack. It turned 220 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:14,520 Speaker 1: out it wasn't it. Tam promised that if her mother survived, 221 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:16,840 Speaker 1: she would truly listen to her mother's stories and travel 222 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:19,560 Speaker 1: to China with her and meet her daughters from her 223 00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:21,959 Speaker 1: first marriage, and she did so. The bestselling book has 224 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:26,200 Speaker 1: won numerous awards and received widespread critical acclaim, and regularly 225 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:29,920 Speaker 1: is included on required reading lists around the country, including 226 00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:33,920 Speaker 1: My Accelerated Reader, and around the world. Some did criticize 227 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:37,000 Speaker 1: it for what they saw as perpetuating negative Asian stereotypes 228 00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:40,960 Speaker 1: particularly around Asian men. And yeah, there's a big conversation 229 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:44,160 Speaker 1: back and forth about is this a great representation? Is 230 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:49,080 Speaker 1: just that again model minority level of stereotyping that they 231 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:53,760 Speaker 1: put onto this. Are we perpetuating again a negative look 232 00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:56,760 Speaker 1: at the Asian men and whether or not they are 233 00:12:57,120 --> 00:13:01,080 Speaker 1: um as abusive, as or as neglectful as they see 234 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:03,439 Speaker 1: him in this book? And of course that's not at 235 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:06,880 Speaker 1: all from what I gathered what was being perpetuated. It 236 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:09,840 Speaker 1: just was not a story about these men in general. 237 00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:12,040 Speaker 1: But yeah, I know it was a big back and 238 00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:16,800 Speaker 1: forth even I could remember about, wow, this does not 239 00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:20,480 Speaker 1: look good for a lot of like the Asian conversations, 240 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:23,800 Speaker 1: including the fact of like the tiger mom, the overbearing mom, 241 00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:27,880 Speaker 1: which has been also another stereotype that continues to build 242 00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:32,960 Speaker 1: and not go away, right for sure, for sure, And 243 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:34,880 Speaker 1: speaking of we have a lot of themes that we 244 00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:37,640 Speaker 1: wanted to cover, but first we're gonna pause for a 245 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:52,720 Speaker 1: quick break for work from responsor. Hey we're back, Thank you, sponsor. 246 00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:57,840 Speaker 1: And we wanted to start with the theme of family 247 00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:03,000 Speaker 1: because that's probably one of the biggest the entirety of 248 00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:07,000 Speaker 1: the of the actual stories, right and especially here the 249 00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:10,280 Speaker 1: mother daughter relationship, which is the primary theme throughout the 250 00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:12,720 Speaker 1: book as we jump from mother to daughter and the 251 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:16,000 Speaker 1: stories we get to see um all of these different 252 00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:18,800 Speaker 1: stories as they weave together to show a balance of 253 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:23,120 Speaker 1: how each of their lives did come together and reflect 254 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:26,600 Speaker 1: within each other and off of each other. Through each 255 00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:30,200 Speaker 1: of the mothers, we see the stories of loss of connection, 256 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:33,040 Speaker 1: loss of innocence, lots of family, and loss of spirit. 257 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:35,360 Speaker 1: They talked about the lessons they learned through all of 258 00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:38,240 Speaker 1: this and how desperately they try to teach these lessons 259 00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:40,560 Speaker 1: to their daughters so that they would understand the depth 260 00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:43,360 Speaker 1: of loss and maybe could prevent their daughters from going 261 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:46,800 Speaker 1: through the same tragedy. Right, So we wanted to talk 262 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:50,000 Speaker 1: specifically about the tragedy and hardships, and we're gonna start 263 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:53,400 Speaker 1: with suan Wu, who again we come to the story 264 00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:56,120 Speaker 1: after her death, so that's kind of the catalyst of 265 00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:58,960 Speaker 1: how this begins, and we get to hear the story 266 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,920 Speaker 1: of origins and even the beginning of the Joy Lug 267 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:04,120 Speaker 1: Club and why it's created. And her story is a 268 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:07,120 Speaker 1: constant tell of tragedy and loss and her struggle in 269 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:09,640 Speaker 1: escaping with as much as she could at the time, 270 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:13,400 Speaker 1: including her two daughters that later gets left behind thinking 271 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:16,080 Speaker 1: she was about to die. Um. And then we see 272 00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:18,200 Speaker 1: the new struggle of her trying to start over in 273 00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:21,520 Speaker 1: the US and reclaim her past. But again moved forward 274 00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:24,680 Speaker 1: in the present and we see through the eyes and 275 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,280 Speaker 1: ears of her daughters and how little she knew about 276 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:30,720 Speaker 1: her mom and her past, and and again the regrets 277 00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:33,280 Speaker 1: that her mother had, like she really had to sit 278 00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:37,280 Speaker 1: and pull from each of the aunties of the uh 279 00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:40,520 Speaker 1: my Gen Club, as well as her father who didn't 280 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:43,120 Speaker 1: know too much either. He just knew bits and pieces 281 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,480 Speaker 1: and it had to be pulled. And then through her 282 00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:47,520 Speaker 1: looking back, we know she did what she had to do. 283 00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:50,440 Speaker 1: Her mother's guilt is something that is evident for the 284 00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:53,560 Speaker 1: reader and for June or Jing May, and is rectified 285 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:56,640 Speaker 1: when June is able to meet her long lost sisters 286 00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:59,560 Speaker 1: at last, and as she says, put her family together 287 00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:04,360 Speaker 1: and her mother's story out there right. And then um, 288 00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:07,920 Speaker 1: if we look at on May, Sue Amy's life so 289 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:12,960 Speaker 1: very different from Sue Yahn's, also full of tragedy. We 290 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:15,440 Speaker 1: learn about her childhood and the loss of her father 291 00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:18,080 Speaker 1: and the shame of her mother. She talks about the 292 00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:20,720 Speaker 1: many superstitions of her grandmother and her aunt and uncle 293 00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:22,880 Speaker 1: as she is raised believing her mother as a ghost, 294 00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:25,920 Speaker 1: only to realize that they had rather her mother be 295 00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:29,800 Speaker 1: dead than the life she had chosen as a concubine 296 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:34,560 Speaker 1: or fourth wife of a wealthy man. Of course, we 297 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:36,520 Speaker 1: learned it wasn't through her mother's own choices, but through 298 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:39,400 Speaker 1: manipulation and lack of support that she was forced into 299 00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:43,000 Speaker 1: this life. Her mother's shame is something that her grandmother 300 00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:45,440 Speaker 1: Popo and the rest of the family has used against 301 00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:48,320 Speaker 1: her and tried to keep her away from her daughter. 302 00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:51,840 Speaker 1: After the suicide of her mother, on May is able 303 00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:53,480 Speaker 1: to get a type of justice for her mother and 304 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:56,320 Speaker 1: for herself and her brother, but still has the loss 305 00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:59,920 Speaker 1: of her mother and her family to deal with. Later 306 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:02,640 Speaker 1: in her adult life, with her family in America, she 307 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:06,720 Speaker 1: goes through loss and tragedy as her youngest son being 308 00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:11,359 Speaker 1: drowns and um is the body is unable to be recovered, 309 00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:15,439 Speaker 1: and much like herself, her daughter Rose feels the loss 310 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:19,440 Speaker 1: and responsibility of his death. And then there's Lindo Jong 311 00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:22,520 Speaker 1: whose tell what was it? Tell? Of will and determination. 312 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:24,880 Speaker 1: Though she was trained to be a wife to her 313 00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:28,200 Speaker 1: future husband Tianyu, she was able to find a way out, 314 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:30,400 Speaker 1: and she was able to secure freedom for herself while 315 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:32,479 Speaker 1: giving Hi an opportunity to a servant girl who had 316 00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:35,080 Speaker 1: gotten pregnant. So the story, of course has a lot 317 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:41,480 Speaker 1: of omens and dreams and interpretations. But she was promised 318 00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:46,560 Speaker 1: and to this young man she was trained up when 319 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:48,879 Speaker 1: she was young to be his wife. He had no 320 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:51,240 Speaker 1: interest in her, and then she had described the relationship 321 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:54,320 Speaker 1: as a brother and sister, and she seemed okay with 322 00:17:54,359 --> 00:17:56,400 Speaker 1: that except when it was time for to get pregnant, 323 00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:58,600 Speaker 1: and because he refused to touch her and lied about 324 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:01,320 Speaker 1: all these things. You know, the mother was very very 325 00:18:01,359 --> 00:18:04,120 Speaker 1: abusive towards her um. And then we get to see 326 00:18:04,119 --> 00:18:07,239 Speaker 1: her take that and turn that into her freedom and 327 00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:10,040 Speaker 1: being able to take what she knew and to survive 328 00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:13,159 Speaker 1: then coming to America. Though it allowed her the freedom 329 00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:15,639 Speaker 1: to become a new woman, it also was a threat 330 00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:19,000 Speaker 1: to her losing her own Chinese identity. But with this 331 00:18:19,119 --> 00:18:21,760 Speaker 1: is the divide between her and her daughter, Waverley, who 332 00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:25,240 Speaker 1: was raised to be American and with that seemingly ashamed 333 00:18:25,359 --> 00:18:27,879 Speaker 1: but at the same time guilty of the lack of 334 00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:32,080 Speaker 1: doing everything perfectly as she thought her mother expected. Um 335 00:18:32,119 --> 00:18:34,879 Speaker 1: and The conversation between Lindo and and and her daughter 336 00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:37,719 Speaker 1: is really interesting to see, especially when she like the 337 00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:40,800 Speaker 1: battle of their wills essentially, and yet at the same 338 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:43,760 Speaker 1: time they also are fearful of each other and feel 339 00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:45,920 Speaker 1: guilty around each other. And it's an interesting like back 340 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,800 Speaker 1: and forth with that family. But the struggle alone trying 341 00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:52,200 Speaker 1: to keep their identity at the same time, it is 342 00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:55,960 Speaker 1: interesting to see. Yeah, I was telling some maath before 343 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,879 Speaker 1: we started recording. I read this in kind of a 344 00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:01,399 Speaker 1: world wind couple of hours and because of the way 345 00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:04,760 Speaker 1: there these stories are told from the first person, like 346 00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:06,320 Speaker 1: at the beginning of the section it tells you who 347 00:19:06,359 --> 00:19:09,199 Speaker 1: it is, but then at least in my book, it 348 00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:10,880 Speaker 1: doesn't say at the top, so you have to kind 349 00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:13,359 Speaker 1: of keep in your mind, Okay, who is this and 350 00:19:13,359 --> 00:19:15,679 Speaker 1: how are they related to everybody? And I started being like, okay, 351 00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:18,399 Speaker 1: this is the clever one, um, And that's how I 352 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:20,840 Speaker 1: remembered Linda and Waverley is. I was like, Oh, she 353 00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:23,879 Speaker 1: was clever to get out of that marriage. Waverley is 354 00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:28,359 Speaker 1: clever in her chest. Like the connections. Yeah, linking the 355 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:30,520 Speaker 1: families you have to because I did that too, because 356 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:32,399 Speaker 1: some of them are some of course, because they go 357 00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:35,960 Speaker 1: through similar situations, it does seem a bit similar to 358 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:39,600 Speaker 1: each other, and they are intertwined, as we know Waverley 359 00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:43,080 Speaker 1: and later on we know Waverley in Jing may are 360 00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:48,359 Speaker 1: photomise the lack of better terms. Yeah, yeah, and I 361 00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:50,880 Speaker 1: do think and we'll probably talk about this more later, 362 00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:54,520 Speaker 1: but Waverley in particular to her like final section where 363 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:57,280 Speaker 1: you can just see her like making her mom into 364 00:19:57,359 --> 00:20:00,960 Speaker 1: the enemy. But her mom he wasn't even there. I 365 00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:04,440 Speaker 1: hadn't said anything, like she was her own. I'm sure 366 00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:08,240 Speaker 1: that you know. Part of that is how she was raised. 367 00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:10,200 Speaker 1: But it was just interesting to see her have all 368 00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:13,840 Speaker 1: these doubts about like her new boyfriend is what I'm 369 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,679 Speaker 1: thinking of right getting married to him? And this is 370 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:18,359 Speaker 1: before she'd even talked to her mother. But she's like, 371 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,440 Speaker 1: oh my, she's not gonna like this. She's going to 372 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:26,000 Speaker 1: tear it apart. And then there's Yinging or Betty st Clair. 373 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:30,119 Speaker 1: She was a beautiful, wealthy young girl who grows old 374 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:33,480 Speaker 1: at eighteen. She shared the story of her first husband, 375 00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:36,680 Speaker 1: who was cruel and eventually left her. We first hear 376 00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:38,880 Speaker 1: about some of her loss when she lost her third 377 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:42,639 Speaker 1: son through her daughter Lena who translates her Chinese when 378 00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:46,400 Speaker 1: her father can't understand. We later learned that Yingying had 379 00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:48,760 Speaker 1: had an abortion and felt the loss of her third 380 00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:53,040 Speaker 1: son was a punishment. She also fears that she's somehow 381 00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:55,240 Speaker 1: taught her daughter to be as fearful and unable to 382 00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:59,200 Speaker 1: speak up for herself like she was during her first marriage. 383 00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:02,000 Speaker 1: Though she as a tiger, she didn't show her tiger's 384 00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:05,240 Speaker 1: side and feared her daughter was doing the same and 385 00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:08,520 Speaker 1: try to help her right. And I think the interesting 386 00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:12,199 Speaker 1: part is that her daughter didn't really know about that 387 00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:16,720 Speaker 1: first marriage until later on, and the reason why when 388 00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:19,280 Speaker 1: she was saying you need to speak up, you need 389 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:21,119 Speaker 1: to work, you need to talk to your husband, she 390 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:23,199 Speaker 1: wasn't saying fight for her marriage, which is what we 391 00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:27,159 Speaker 1: learned that things is happening because Lena never makes a 392 00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:31,000 Speaker 1: decision like she works for her husband, and then her 393 00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:33,520 Speaker 1: husband takes her ideas and then they have to split 394 00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:35,919 Speaker 1: everything evenly, even if it's not something that she wants. 395 00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:37,919 Speaker 1: She doesn't want to fight, so she just goes along 396 00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:40,680 Speaker 1: with it. And there's this whole level of like everything's 397 00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:43,680 Speaker 1: unbalanced for Yingying. She talks about being able to see 398 00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:47,240 Speaker 1: the future, being able to see omens as well. So 399 00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:49,520 Speaker 1: that's what she's talking about, and like she hasn't taught 400 00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:53,119 Speaker 1: her daughter these things and can see how her side, 401 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,159 Speaker 1: her quiet side, is coming out, but she needs that 402 00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:59,080 Speaker 1: tiger side that she talks about the gold and black 403 00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:02,080 Speaker 1: and the black coming out being the fish side. So 404 00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:05,080 Speaker 1: it was interesting to see too, right right, right right. 405 00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:07,720 Speaker 1: And So one of the things that we've been touching 406 00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:11,200 Speaker 1: on throughout this and is another prominent team in the book, 407 00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:16,040 Speaker 1: is this idea around criticisms are miscommunication, like the daughter's 408 00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:20,439 Speaker 1: feeling criticized non mothers to a lesser extent, and yeah, miscommunication. 409 00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:25,680 Speaker 1: Obviously I don't have the same complex multicultural or racial 410 00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:28,320 Speaker 1: layer here, but I did relate to this because since 411 00:22:28,359 --> 00:22:31,280 Speaker 1: my dad has died, I have been reflecting a lot 412 00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:34,040 Speaker 1: on our relationship and where it went wrong, as they say, 413 00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:35,280 Speaker 1: And one of the things I keep coming back to 414 00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:38,679 Speaker 1: is I really fundamentally think we did not understand. He 415 00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:41,000 Speaker 1: didn't I didn't understand where he was coming from, and 416 00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:43,240 Speaker 1: I did. I did find out he had a first wife, 417 00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:44,720 Speaker 1: and I never knew about it. Like I had these 418 00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:47,440 Speaker 1: things where I'm like, wow, I never asked, and now 419 00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:50,679 Speaker 1: I can't ask it's too late, and that there was 420 00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:56,199 Speaker 1: this idea for me, maybe for some maybe for jing May. 421 00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:57,720 Speaker 1: I don't know, but there was this idea that those 422 00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:00,720 Speaker 1: questions were too painful and maybe he was ashamed of 423 00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:04,120 Speaker 1: the answers and that's why we didn't talk about it. 424 00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:07,320 Speaker 1: But then it's the same at the end, when j 425 00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:10,159 Speaker 1: May learns this is like hugely important story about her 426 00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:13,960 Speaker 1: mom why she left her daughters, it's like this formative 427 00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:19,200 Speaker 1: traumatic experience, and to not know that until after she's gone, right, 428 00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:22,840 Speaker 1: I do think, yeah, there's that comes up a lot 429 00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:30,360 Speaker 1: in this of miscommunicating and not feeling like just being 430 00:23:30,359 --> 00:23:34,400 Speaker 1: on separate pages and not really realizing for sure exactly 431 00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:36,840 Speaker 1: what the other person means or what they're saying. I mean, 432 00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:38,840 Speaker 1: I think there's definitely a whole level because I've thought 433 00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:41,840 Speaker 1: about this too, because when you are the child of someone, 434 00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:46,359 Speaker 1: you don't really think of them beyond the parental figure, 435 00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:48,960 Speaker 1: and then when you realize the stories of bigger stories, 436 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:52,760 Speaker 1: you start wondering, wow, what happened? Because I've thought about 437 00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:55,760 Speaker 1: that too again, about heritage and legacy, what we're passing on. 438 00:23:57,640 --> 00:23:59,840 Speaker 1: What would I say? Would they know about these things 439 00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:01,840 Speaker 1: of my past which part of my past. What I 440 00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:04,960 Speaker 1: tell them, the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful, what. 441 00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:08,480 Speaker 1: And I think that's again part of that conversation of 442 00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:13,120 Speaker 1: this level of miscommunication. Again of course literally they miscommunicate, 443 00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:15,480 Speaker 1: whether it's a language barrier because their parents can't say 444 00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:19,760 Speaker 1: it in English, and and even trying to formulate exactly 445 00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:22,119 Speaker 1: what they mean by it, they may not have a 446 00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:24,520 Speaker 1: translation for what they're saying. Just kind of back and 447 00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:29,400 Speaker 1: forth between Rose and her mother, and her mother trying 448 00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:31,440 Speaker 1: to say to save their marriage. She's known that that's 449 00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:34,440 Speaker 1: not gonna happen. She's just trying to say, say what 450 00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:37,440 Speaker 1: you want finally come out. You don't have to change 451 00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:40,520 Speaker 1: your personality for each person. Be who you are. I 452 00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:43,480 Speaker 1: see you, you're you know, all these things. But she 453 00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:46,480 Speaker 1: could not say it, even though that's what she was 454 00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:48,560 Speaker 1: trying to say, and her of course, her daughter took 455 00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:50,320 Speaker 1: that as an insult of you need to work this 456 00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:54,760 Speaker 1: marriage out. You're gonna be a failure. Yeah, and yeah, 457 00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:56,439 Speaker 1: I think that's what we think of a lot of 458 00:24:56,640 --> 00:25:00,280 Speaker 1: ourselves with our parents. Whether it's again a miscommunication of 459 00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:03,000 Speaker 1: maybe hearing something as a child and believing that was 460 00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:06,680 Speaker 1: the only thing and misinterpreting what that was said, right, 461 00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:08,680 Speaker 1: you know what I mean? I think that's some big thing. 462 00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:11,880 Speaker 1: And again, whether we're talking about a language barrier or tradition, 463 00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:15,560 Speaker 1: the relationships show a breakdown a communication through the stereotype 464 00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:19,360 Speaker 1: of the tiger mom, which is pretty heavily weighed throughout stories. 465 00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:21,919 Speaker 1: Even sually we learned the deeper levels of why the 466 00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:26,520 Speaker 1: mothers communicate or don't communicate the way they do, which again, yeah, 467 00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:29,240 Speaker 1: the backbone of the fact that is they're fearful that 468 00:25:29,359 --> 00:25:32,640 Speaker 1: much like Jumi who says that literally says, I did 469 00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:35,200 Speaker 1: not know my mother, and they all protested like, oh, no, 470 00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:38,040 Speaker 1: of course you do, she's in your bones. That was 471 00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:40,360 Speaker 1: just more of a hope for themselves and they're like, oh, 472 00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:43,000 Speaker 1: we have to talk about this. But again, it isn't 473 00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:45,359 Speaker 1: just the fierceness of the mothers, but it's a level 474 00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:49,200 Speaker 1: of resentment from the daughters, who are first generation Chinese 475 00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:52,480 Speaker 1: Americans trying desperately to fit in at the same time 476 00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:55,240 Speaker 1: are afraid of not getting the approval of their mothers. 477 00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:57,720 Speaker 1: So it's an interesting again back and like you said, 478 00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:01,840 Speaker 1: a perceived idea of resent much much like other families, 479 00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:04,320 Speaker 1: we see a dismissal of the mother's ways and traditions 480 00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:07,000 Speaker 1: from the daughters, which often seem to see their mothers 481 00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:10,560 Speaker 1: as just old relics or maybe just old fashioned um as. 482 00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:12,960 Speaker 1: In fact, as a story proceeds, we see a perspective 483 00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:15,159 Speaker 1: from the mothers that show how they feel their daughters 484 00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:19,560 Speaker 1: not only dismiss them or ignore them, but push them away. Yeah, 485 00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:24,240 Speaker 1: kind of see them as maybe weak or foolish, um, 486 00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:29,200 Speaker 1: not worth listening to. Yeah. At the beginning of the story, 487 00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:32,040 Speaker 1: we see the fears of the mothers as June does, yeah, 488 00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:33,879 Speaker 1: when she talks about her deceased mom and how she 489 00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:37,800 Speaker 1: didn't really know her mother at all, and um, that 490 00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:42,359 Speaker 1: is the moment when all the mothers are like, oh, yeah, 491 00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:46,880 Speaker 1: maybe they their own daughters feel the same way. And 492 00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:50,480 Speaker 1: we've talked about failing and not living up to expectations 493 00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:53,679 Speaker 1: in this context, but that is a pretty big theme, 494 00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:56,960 Speaker 1: especially I think in the first I don't know, maybe 495 00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:59,800 Speaker 1: in both sections of the daughters. So they're like Waverley, 496 00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:02,600 Speaker 1: who was the chess prodigy. She thinks she's smarter than 497 00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:07,160 Speaker 1: her mother. We see her stubborn pride get quickly dismantled 498 00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:09,119 Speaker 1: when she is no longer able to win at chess 499 00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:11,359 Speaker 1: and prove herself as a prodigy. In fact, she loses 500 00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:14,399 Speaker 1: to somebody, she a young boy that she'd easily beat. 501 00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:18,480 Speaker 1: And this was all part of a kind of a 502 00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:21,320 Speaker 1: tetchet argument with her mother, and she was like, I'm 503 00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:24,480 Speaker 1: not playing chess, and she thought her mom would be like, 504 00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:26,040 Speaker 1: do you have to? But she was kind of like, 505 00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:31,040 Speaker 1: m hmm, it did. It backfired, and she talks about 506 00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:34,639 Speaker 1: her failure alongside the idea that her mother. She felt 507 00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:39,520 Speaker 1: that her mother was taking credit for her abilities, that 508 00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:41,720 Speaker 1: she was bragging about her like she was a trophy, 509 00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:46,600 Speaker 1: but as if her mother had done it and not waightfully. Yeah, 510 00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:49,400 Speaker 1: she spoke about doubt when she refused to give in 511 00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:51,960 Speaker 1: to her refusal to play, and then yeah, later we 512 00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:55,000 Speaker 1: see her doubts creep into relationship with Richard, who she 513 00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:58,120 Speaker 1: was desperately sinking at the very least her mother's acknowledgment. 514 00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:01,199 Speaker 1: And it's it's I liked that after because it was written. 515 00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:02,840 Speaker 1: I mean a lot of it was infuriating, but it 516 00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:05,360 Speaker 1: was written like a chess game between her and her mother, 517 00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:08,400 Speaker 1: almost of like, oh, that's her play, I will do 518 00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:12,080 Speaker 1: this play to outsmart her. Just that kind of layer 519 00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:16,040 Speaker 1: of thinking where it was like at least it read 520 00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:18,800 Speaker 1: to me, where Weaver really was her own worst enemy, 521 00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:21,679 Speaker 1: and a lot of rolice once again. And then you 522 00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:25,480 Speaker 1: have Rose when Rose story is about finding her voice 523 00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:28,800 Speaker 1: when she is silent, I would say due to shock 524 00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:31,600 Speaker 1: when she watches her youngest brother fall into the waters, 525 00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:33,960 Speaker 1: uh and and not being able to recover, and I'm 526 00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:36,520 Speaker 1: her blaming herself, not being able to speak and just being. 527 00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:40,120 Speaker 1: And then in her relationship with her husband, ted, whether 528 00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:42,240 Speaker 1: it's an inability to talk to her husband or to 529 00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:44,120 Speaker 1: save our marriage, or to even talk with her mother 530 00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:46,320 Speaker 1: or talk with our friends or her there but she 531 00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:49,280 Speaker 1: talks about how she talks differently with each one, almost 532 00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:52,840 Speaker 1: as if she's trying to appease them, like given them 533 00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:55,480 Speaker 1: what they want to hear and whatever she wanted. And 534 00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:58,600 Speaker 1: of course the level of disappointment criticism is internal and 535 00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:01,400 Speaker 1: it seems to flow throughout her life, and an inability 536 00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:04,600 Speaker 1: to speak, which she finally does later and she wins 537 00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:07,720 Speaker 1: always like Hurrah, you did it. I did love seeing 538 00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:13,000 Speaker 1: the correlation between her and the garden, the weeds and everything, 539 00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:15,800 Speaker 1: and which talks about just loving the mass and the chaos. 540 00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:17,800 Speaker 1: And then that's when she comes out and like, yeah, 541 00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:21,640 Speaker 1: this is how I feel. I like it entually. I 542 00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:25,400 Speaker 1: really appreciated that too, as someone who does often find 543 00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:28,480 Speaker 1: myself doing similar things. I want to make the decision 544 00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:31,720 Speaker 1: that makes everyone else happy. It's not necessarily like I 545 00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:34,920 Speaker 1: what I want, and I don't think that's always bad 546 00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:37,320 Speaker 1: at all. But when she was making decisions and she 547 00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:39,840 Speaker 1: wasn't sure why, but she was finally making the decisions, 548 00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:44,720 Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, that's I appreciate this. And then 549 00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:47,520 Speaker 1: there's Lena. Lena, like her mother in her first marriage, 550 00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:50,680 Speaker 1: has become a ghost in her marriage and is frustrated 551 00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:53,959 Speaker 1: with her life. She struggles and finding her place and 552 00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:58,320 Speaker 1: being able to work out what she wants for herself. Right, 553 00:29:58,360 --> 00:30:00,120 Speaker 1: So this is the one was what little diff and 554 00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:02,800 Speaker 1: as you don't see what happens with that marriage, her 555 00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:05,800 Speaker 1: husband is completely happy the way it is because he 556 00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:09,400 Speaker 1: pretty much dictates everything that happens as where she's just 557 00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:12,920 Speaker 1: like okay, and she's been fine with that up until recently, 558 00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:16,280 Speaker 1: but doesn't even know what she actually wants. So and 559 00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:19,520 Speaker 1: then we come to Jumae or June, whose life seems 560 00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:21,480 Speaker 1: to be a layer of what she sees as failures 561 00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:24,000 Speaker 1: from her inability to play piano, to not being able 562 00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:26,720 Speaker 1: to be the next Shirley Temple or to her dripping 563 00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:29,560 Speaker 1: out of college. She sees her failures as who she 564 00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:33,560 Speaker 1: has become, often considering herself to Waverley because her mother 565 00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:36,520 Speaker 1: does it too. She is also the one to sacrifice 566 00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:39,240 Speaker 1: for others as well, as we talked about when everybody 567 00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:41,920 Speaker 1: else picks for the very best for themselves, she's going 568 00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:44,360 Speaker 1: to be the one that sacrifices for other people to 569 00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:47,120 Speaker 1: get the best. And then it isn't until much later 570 00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:49,640 Speaker 1: she learned that her mother wasn't disappointed in her, but 571 00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:52,120 Speaker 1: proud of who she was um and that she was 572 00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:54,720 Speaker 1: proud of that she was such a kind and giving woman. 573 00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:57,480 Speaker 1: And it's really sweet, as we know this kind of 574 00:30:57,520 --> 00:30:59,640 Speaker 1: happens to in the book when she really feels like 575 00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:03,560 Speaker 1: since you wasn't able to be what her mom wanted 576 00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:06,080 Speaker 1: her to be, always feeling like she was a failure. 577 00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:10,000 Speaker 1: And then we know that on her thirtieth birthday, her 578 00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:13,480 Speaker 1: mom gives her with the piano that she refused to 579 00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:15,960 Speaker 1: play and does not do well, and it feels like 580 00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:19,600 Speaker 1: like for her it felt like closure and forgiveness. So 581 00:31:19,640 --> 00:31:22,240 Speaker 1: it's a really sweet sort story. And then she continues 582 00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:24,760 Speaker 1: her journey as she learns to discover her mother, and 583 00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:26,480 Speaker 1: as she learns more and more of her story that 584 00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:29,720 Speaker 1: she never knew, realizing the depth of her mother's love 585 00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:32,720 Speaker 1: and excited to share that. It was really beautiful. Yeah, 586 00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:36,720 Speaker 1: that was a very sweet scene where this embarrassing moment 587 00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:40,120 Speaker 1: for foraging May at the table when we really kind 588 00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:43,960 Speaker 1: of really knocks her down and big. And then afterwards 589 00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:47,280 Speaker 1: the conversation Jing May has with her mom where her 590 00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:50,520 Speaker 1: mom's like kind of saying, all these things you see 591 00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:53,640 Speaker 1: as failures, I see is these things that make you 592 00:31:53,640 --> 00:32:00,840 Speaker 1: you that yeah, kind and giving woman. And I don't know, 593 00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:04,320 Speaker 1: it was just so sweet to hear that. I think 594 00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:07,400 Speaker 1: for any anybody, it's sweet to hear that somebody sees 595 00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:10,080 Speaker 1: these things in you that maybe you've just been beating 596 00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:13,719 Speaker 1: yourself up for reading, but they just accept you when 597 00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:19,080 Speaker 1: they love you for it. Very sweet, less sweet. There 598 00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:22,280 Speaker 1: are some of the marriages in this in this book, 599 00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:26,080 Speaker 1: there are not too many good examples of marriage, and 600 00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:29,760 Speaker 1: here I want to include this quote. In patriarchy, human 601 00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:33,480 Speaker 1: possessed the highest status, so that women's position is subordinate 602 00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:36,880 Speaker 1: to them, and that's from Lena, and yeah, there's a 603 00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:42,240 Speaker 1: lot about duty and not so much about love in 604 00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:50,960 Speaker 1: these marriages. And I would say also a lot of miscommunication. Yeah, 605 00:32:51,040 --> 00:32:55,760 Speaker 1: there's a lot going on to complicate these marriages for sure, right, 606 00:32:56,120 --> 00:32:59,840 Speaker 1: and again not about love. It's definitely about duty and 607 00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:04,480 Speaker 1: indoor obligation. An Yeah, again, she doesn't really get into 608 00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:07,920 Speaker 1: the depths of the husbands as much except to show 609 00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:12,600 Speaker 1: their failures or their progress or any of that. It's 610 00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:16,800 Speaker 1: just kind of a springing springboard for them to perpetuate 611 00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:19,560 Speaker 1: the story, which I kind of like, I'm not gonna lie, 612 00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:21,600 Speaker 1: it's not you don't see too much of that. You 613 00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:24,520 Speaker 1: don't see it where it's like centered around the marriage 614 00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:28,240 Speaker 1: and the husband in general, and even for the mothers, 615 00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:32,080 Speaker 1: you barely hear what's happening, and it's a lot of 616 00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:38,560 Speaker 1: it is just out of obligation or survival rather than love. 617 00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:41,480 Speaker 1: And you don't hear much about love other than love 618 00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:44,120 Speaker 1: for their children and who they were and what they've 619 00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:48,160 Speaker 1: done for them. And so I find that interesting too. Again, 620 00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:52,160 Speaker 1: we see even the new relationships like Waverley and Rich, 621 00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:56,280 Speaker 1: they don't really talk about love. She's more embarrassed and 622 00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:58,840 Speaker 1: ready to show him off more so than anything else, 623 00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:02,959 Speaker 1: which is kind of interesting in itself, but yeah, I 624 00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:12,360 Speaker 1: think it's necessary, but not something they gloat about. And 625 00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:14,040 Speaker 1: I would I would put in here a reminder that, 626 00:34:14,239 --> 00:34:17,480 Speaker 1: for you know, the long time, historically marriages have been 627 00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:22,480 Speaker 1: usually things of convenience or economics, often at the benefit 628 00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:24,640 Speaker 1: of the man in the detriment of a woman in 629 00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:27,120 Speaker 1: a very head or normative sense. And we do see 630 00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:29,840 Speaker 1: that in enjoy Le Club, especially in the mothers. But 631 00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:32,480 Speaker 1: when it comes to the daughters. One of the things 632 00:34:32,520 --> 00:34:36,320 Speaker 1: I appreciated about that where the problems of the marriage 633 00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:38,960 Speaker 1: might have been key, but the marriage itself wasn't. But 634 00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:41,800 Speaker 1: we see through that you get to touch on issues 635 00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:45,800 Speaker 1: of like sexism, where yeah, your idea, your husband is 636 00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:49,600 Speaker 1: getting paid seven times more than you and yet everything 637 00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:55,440 Speaker 1: must be equal, and also just the fallout of misunderstanding 638 00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:58,319 Speaker 1: their mother. And I feel like I could be totally wrong, 639 00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:00,160 Speaker 1: but I feel like there's a lot of overcorrect ng 640 00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:04,800 Speaker 1: in this where the mothers just like I so badly 641 00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:08,400 Speaker 1: don't want this from my daughters, that they overcorrect, and 642 00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:10,879 Speaker 1: then the daughters are like I so badly don't want 643 00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:14,319 Speaker 1: to be like my mother's so they overcorrect like kind 644 00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:18,080 Speaker 1: of seeing that play out through through their marriages, right, 645 00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:20,120 Speaker 1: does seem like a push back and forth, which I 646 00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:22,600 Speaker 1: don't think is similarly to each other. Yeah, yeah, and 647 00:35:22,640 --> 00:35:25,400 Speaker 1: I think that's pretty common. I don't think it's a 648 00:35:25,440 --> 00:35:29,680 Speaker 1: specific right, fairly like characters in this book. But and 649 00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:33,000 Speaker 1: something else we wanted to talk about is friendship, another 650 00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:35,279 Speaker 1: theme in here. Just I mean, the whole idea of 651 00:35:35,320 --> 00:35:40,680 Speaker 1: the joy Luck Club is about friendship, and um, they 652 00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:43,239 Speaker 1: you see that the importance of shared community spaces for 653 00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:47,520 Speaker 1: marginalized folks, and as always the power of women sharing 654 00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:50,959 Speaker 1: experiences and supporting each other. The original joy Luk Club 655 00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:54,880 Speaker 1: that Jingmei's mom started in China, it was very dark, 656 00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:57,799 Speaker 1: painful time for a lot of people, and this was 657 00:35:57,880 --> 00:36:00,319 Speaker 1: like a time where they got to for it that 658 00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:02,160 Speaker 1: and have fun and be happy, and they would pretend 659 00:36:02,239 --> 00:36:04,640 Speaker 1: like they were having this big feast even though they 660 00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:07,880 Speaker 1: weren't right and just how powerful that wasn't as you 661 00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:12,000 Speaker 1: said in San Francisco, the new iterations of Joylet Club 662 00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:16,200 Speaker 1: did become kind of an investing opportunity and they paid 663 00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:21,000 Speaker 1: for the plane ticket they raised the money for At 664 00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:22,840 Speaker 1: the time, I believe it was for her mom's Sun 665 00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:26,920 Speaker 1: to go, but then they gave it to Um Jing Mei, 666 00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:31,840 Speaker 1: and I think that's right, wonderful. Yeah, And it's definitely 667 00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:33,959 Speaker 1: through the friendships we see the connection of the old 668 00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:36,840 Speaker 1: world versus the new world for the lack of better terms, 669 00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:41,040 Speaker 1: and how they're trying to correct wrongs together, whether it's 670 00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:44,320 Speaker 1: they compete with each other about their daughter's success or 671 00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:49,160 Speaker 1: they talk about their pasts as if it was the 672 00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:52,319 Speaker 1: good time to guess. And you're right, yeah again, like 673 00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:55,600 Speaker 1: you said, they got the funds together so that Jing 674 00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:59,319 Speaker 1: Make could complete with San was doing to begin when 675 00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:02,880 Speaker 1: it was a part of their legacy to for her 676 00:37:02,920 --> 00:37:05,320 Speaker 1: to fulfill this, and I think it was really beautiful. 677 00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:07,839 Speaker 1: But I also love the fact that, yes, Jim May 678 00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:11,320 Speaker 1: was welcomed into that community and she took her mom's spot. 679 00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:15,080 Speaker 1: So it's a matriarch that's allowed this and continued this, 680 00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:16,680 Speaker 1: and I think it's beautiful because we don't see enough 681 00:37:16,719 --> 00:37:20,000 Speaker 1: of that in general. Yeah, it's amazing how rare it 682 00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:26,000 Speaker 1: is to see multigenerational representations of with me right, Yeah, 683 00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:28,480 Speaker 1: And I mean that does feel very poetic and that 684 00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:31,239 Speaker 1: you know, Jing May is stepping in. She was so 685 00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:34,160 Speaker 1: concerned she couldn't tell her mother's story. And I love 686 00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:37,359 Speaker 1: that description at some point in the book where it's 687 00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:41,200 Speaker 1: like mothers and daughters are like stairs, like they're always 688 00:37:41,239 --> 00:37:44,719 Speaker 1: going in the same direction, which I think was meant 689 00:37:44,719 --> 00:37:47,360 Speaker 1: to be a bad thing, but I thought that, you know, 690 00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:51,880 Speaker 1: as much as they might have been, this distance between 691 00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:54,680 Speaker 1: the daughters and their mothers at different points, and you know, 692 00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:56,640 Speaker 1: Waverley has that moment where she's like, do we really 693 00:37:56,640 --> 00:37:58,600 Speaker 1: look alike? And she's looking at her mother and herself 694 00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:00,439 Speaker 1: in the mirror, and but those are the those things 695 00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:04,319 Speaker 1: that will pass on to the next generation. We do 696 00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:06,239 Speaker 1: have a little bit more for you listeners, but first 697 00:38:06,239 --> 00:38:08,200 Speaker 1: we have one more quick break or word from our sponsor, 698 00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:24,200 Speaker 1: and we're back. Thank you sponsor. We did want to 699 00:38:24,239 --> 00:38:28,839 Speaker 1: talk a little bit about immigration. The daughters don't seem 700 00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:31,040 Speaker 1: to see the level of courage their mothers go through 701 00:38:31,080 --> 00:38:32,960 Speaker 1: to get to the United States. But there is a 702 00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:37,320 Speaker 1: battle between the new identity and freedom with the old 703 00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:40,680 Speaker 1: traditions and past of the mothers that we see a 704 00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:42,880 Speaker 1: lot um. We see a lot of now as adult 705 00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:45,959 Speaker 1: children try to retain heritage in their families and pass 706 00:38:46,040 --> 00:38:49,360 Speaker 1: it down to their children. We also see through the 707 00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:51,319 Speaker 1: mothers what it is like to try to adjust to 708 00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:54,880 Speaker 1: this new culture and how to survive. And within this, 709 00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:58,480 Speaker 1: of course, it's also the big push, that big conversation 710 00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:01,880 Speaker 1: of the American dream, which is an idea that the 711 00:39:01,920 --> 00:39:05,920 Speaker 1: daughters get pushed into by the mothers who hope for quote, 712 00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:08,600 Speaker 1: the gold mountain for them or something that makes them 713 00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:11,319 Speaker 1: rich and successful, which is why we see the whole 714 00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:13,960 Speaker 1: you need to be the next shorally Temple, or you 715 00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:16,840 Speaker 1: need to be the prodigy, and and pushing them to 716 00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:20,239 Speaker 1: be the better of whatever this is. And they're hoping 717 00:39:20,239 --> 00:39:23,840 Speaker 1: that the daughters can fulfill the level of success that 718 00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:27,680 Speaker 1: they dream of. And and because there's this whole big 719 00:39:27,719 --> 00:39:31,520 Speaker 1: idea that the US or America is where you can 720 00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:34,000 Speaker 1: become whatever you want to be, grow that that whole 721 00:39:34,040 --> 00:39:37,239 Speaker 1: idea is just you know, put your mind to it, 722 00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:39,560 Speaker 1: work hard, and you can have that which we know 723 00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:44,120 Speaker 1: is the falsehood. But for their mothers it wasn't um. 724 00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:47,200 Speaker 1: And of course again being able to come into the 725 00:39:47,280 --> 00:39:49,719 Speaker 1: US and thinking that they can get this was a 726 00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:52,200 Speaker 1: part of the hope that they put onto their children 727 00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:55,000 Speaker 1: and placed onto their children to the detriment of their 728 00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:59,600 Speaker 1: relationship to a certain point, right, yes, for sure. And 729 00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:01,560 Speaker 1: something else we wanted to talk about a little bit 730 00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:07,280 Speaker 1: is um these ideas around heritage and legend and tradition, 731 00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:12,160 Speaker 1: because those are throughout just so key and often really 732 00:40:12,200 --> 00:40:16,280 Speaker 1: beautifully written. I thought, right, I think there's this whole 733 00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:19,080 Speaker 1: level of of course, like the East versus West or 734 00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:23,239 Speaker 1: East and West cultural ideas, and we do see when 735 00:40:23,320 --> 00:40:25,399 Speaker 1: it comes to heritage, when it comes to legends, when 736 00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:28,680 Speaker 1: it comes to stories, of course, China is going to 737 00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:31,759 Speaker 1: have a longer history and depth that we don't have 738 00:40:31,920 --> 00:40:35,239 Speaker 1: in the US as a very young country as we 739 00:40:35,280 --> 00:40:39,080 Speaker 1: know this, and also like being really established several times over. 740 00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:41,680 Speaker 1: But they do talk a lot about balance and the 741 00:40:41,719 --> 00:40:45,520 Speaker 1: whole idea of keeping one corner watching this corner and 742 00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:49,600 Speaker 1: making sure things are in its place. Yinging talks about 743 00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:52,759 Speaker 1: that to the room uh in which Lena has put 744 00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:55,759 Speaker 1: her thinking that this is such the guest room is 745 00:40:55,800 --> 00:40:58,359 Speaker 1: off balance, the table is off balanced, and she saw 746 00:40:58,400 --> 00:41:01,000 Speaker 1: the future of it falling apart and not being able 747 00:41:01,040 --> 00:41:03,719 Speaker 1: to withstand, and that was really important to her. And 748 00:41:03,719 --> 00:41:06,320 Speaker 1: then you you have that whole idea of the corners 749 00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:10,520 Speaker 1: for my young and the fact that Jimmy's mom specifically 750 00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:13,960 Speaker 1: picked that side as the newness a type of thing, 751 00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:15,759 Speaker 1: and you're like, oh, of course that's her side. She 752 00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:18,560 Speaker 1: knew exactly what her mother would pick because of that 753 00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:21,680 Speaker 1: superstition and that idea. And I think, you know, as 754 00:41:21,719 --> 00:41:24,440 Speaker 1: well as the crabs, they talked about the like of 755 00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:28,239 Speaker 1: course food is all throughout and we know this and 756 00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:31,120 Speaker 1: this is part of tradition. I think any Chinese, I 757 00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:34,160 Speaker 1: feel like any tradition with when we talked about the matriarch, 758 00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:36,880 Speaker 1: we talked about food in general, but this when we 759 00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:39,360 Speaker 1: talk about crabs and talking about the new year, the 760 00:41:39,440 --> 00:41:42,080 Speaker 1: Chinese new year and the good luck and the bad 761 00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:43,920 Speaker 1: luck and who chooses what, and it was kind of 762 00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:47,200 Speaker 1: an omen and of course yeah, and it showed Jimmy's 763 00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:49,959 Speaker 1: character as well as Waverley's character and who saw what, 764 00:41:50,640 --> 00:41:54,040 Speaker 1: and it was very obvious what that meant. Of course, 765 00:41:54,160 --> 00:41:57,440 Speaker 1: throughout all of the story we hear about the omens 766 00:41:57,680 --> 00:42:00,920 Speaker 1: and the luck like a deaf I love the whole 767 00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:05,279 Speaker 1: story with it was ho Lindo used that omen of 768 00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:08,040 Speaker 1: you know, the birthmark as being like, oh, it's gonna 769 00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:11,400 Speaker 1: eat his face. The grands, you know, the grand ancestors 770 00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:13,560 Speaker 1: are going to come into you know, all of being displaced, 771 00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:16,200 Speaker 1: and she used that to her advantage because she knew 772 00:42:16,239 --> 00:42:19,359 Speaker 1: the superstitions that would help her. And you say, you 773 00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:23,000 Speaker 1: hear those stories, and I'm fascinated by these stories. I 774 00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:26,520 Speaker 1: don't know how real they are and how cultural irrelevant 775 00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:28,640 Speaker 1: they are, but we know that these exists, and the 776 00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:34,160 Speaker 1: idea of ghosts exists. The Tale of the Turtles was 777 00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:36,719 Speaker 1: one of my favorites too, and the omen in the 778 00:42:36,880 --> 00:42:40,719 Speaker 1: and the eating of the tears. Yeah, and then I 779 00:42:40,719 --> 00:42:43,360 Speaker 1: think you can see that in a lot of beliefs 780 00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:47,120 Speaker 1: and belief systems and religions and superstitions around the world. 781 00:42:47,120 --> 00:42:49,719 Speaker 1: But like, for instance, the whole thing about the rice 782 00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:52,239 Speaker 1: if you don't eat the rice, and the pocketing of 783 00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:55,400 Speaker 1: the boy's skin and then he died, and then blaming yourself, 784 00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:58,000 Speaker 1: Like that's something when I was young and we talked 785 00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:01,920 Speaker 1: about first Smith and I, I is really religious, and 786 00:43:02,120 --> 00:43:05,360 Speaker 1: I would get in my head that's something I had done, 787 00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:11,279 Speaker 1: had caused to this terrible outcome, and just feel extremely 788 00:43:11,320 --> 00:43:16,919 Speaker 1: guilty about it. So, yeah, that resonated with me too. Yeah, 789 00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:19,640 Speaker 1: and we know this is a depth of legend and 790 00:43:19,880 --> 00:43:23,279 Speaker 1: into these cultural ideas and and again it's not just 791 00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:26,399 Speaker 1: necessarily that it's cultural, but it's familiar. Is something that's 792 00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:29,040 Speaker 1: passed on from family to family and family, and it's 793 00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:32,440 Speaker 1: just like religion and ideas and stories and all of 794 00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:36,359 Speaker 1: these things. It exists as a part of their heritage 795 00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:39,560 Speaker 1: and what gets passed on. And I think that's beautiful. 796 00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:41,440 Speaker 1: I think I love that story because it did have 797 00:43:41,560 --> 00:43:47,520 Speaker 1: the fantastical superstitions behind the sadness as well. It was 798 00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:50,720 Speaker 1: definitely again one of those things because it was originally 799 00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:54,200 Speaker 1: intended as vignettes or short stories, and then put together 800 00:43:54,239 --> 00:43:57,840 Speaker 1: because she created this giant, beautiful book of different stories 801 00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:00,520 Speaker 1: that could be broken down into short story. It's a 802 00:44:00,520 --> 00:44:04,080 Speaker 1: little confusing, so you have to keep going back about 803 00:44:04,120 --> 00:44:06,080 Speaker 1: who's doing what, and who's talking to whom and whose 804 00:44:06,120 --> 00:44:12,000 Speaker 1: parents to whom It does flow beautifully together, I think, yeah, well, 805 00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:14,440 Speaker 1: and I love I love when any author is able 806 00:44:14,520 --> 00:44:21,759 Speaker 1: to accomplish something without like to tell so much with 807 00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:25,640 Speaker 1: so little, and so I felt like Amy Tan did 808 00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:29,560 Speaker 1: that fantastically, where just through these short vignettes and even 809 00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:33,239 Speaker 1: through like a sentence, she's communicating so much about me 810 00:44:33,400 --> 00:44:37,520 Speaker 1: to this character and what might be seemingly a small 811 00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:40,480 Speaker 1: detail or like an unimportant thing, but you're like, Okay, 812 00:44:40,520 --> 00:44:43,399 Speaker 1: I know something about this person just because of this, 813 00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:47,000 Speaker 1: which I think is really powerful writing. Right um, And 814 00:44:47,040 --> 00:44:49,640 Speaker 1: as we talked about earlier, amy Tan wrote this book 815 00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:52,480 Speaker 1: and part as a promise to listen to her mother's stories. 816 00:44:52,760 --> 00:44:55,640 Speaker 1: But unlike the characters, she didn't have children at the time, 817 00:44:55,680 --> 00:44:58,200 Speaker 1: and as in fact several reasons why she didn't want 818 00:44:58,200 --> 00:45:00,680 Speaker 1: to have children and she hasn't. She did and have children, 819 00:45:00,719 --> 00:45:03,040 Speaker 1: and again not really based on her life, even the 820 00:45:03,160 --> 00:45:06,960 Speaker 1: portions again do play into this. She did write a 821 00:45:06,960 --> 00:45:10,480 Speaker 1: memoir in twenty seventeen titled Where the Past Begins a 822 00:45:10,520 --> 00:45:13,719 Speaker 1: Writer's Memoir, so there is one out there if you 823 00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:15,719 Speaker 1: want to know more about her life. But I do 824 00:45:15,880 --> 00:45:18,439 Speaker 1: love her telling of the story of how her mother 825 00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:22,120 Speaker 1: was so proud of her writing this book and would 826 00:45:22,200 --> 00:45:26,400 Speaker 1: just hand out these books about you. She wrote this 827 00:45:26,440 --> 00:45:28,880 Speaker 1: book and then hands it out, And I love that 828 00:45:28,920 --> 00:45:32,719 Speaker 1: at such an amazing moment to see how proud she was, 829 00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:37,080 Speaker 1: because from what we gather from what amy Tan's own 830 00:45:37,840 --> 00:45:41,040 Speaker 1: re iteration of her relationship with her mother, it was rocky, 831 00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:45,239 Speaker 1: much like some of the relationships in this book. But 832 00:45:45,400 --> 00:45:48,560 Speaker 1: to see her mom just being so proud of her 833 00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:52,520 Speaker 1: was probably one of the biggest accomplishments, I guess, for 834 00:45:52,600 --> 00:45:55,239 Speaker 1: the lack of better terms, uh, something that she's also 835 00:45:55,320 --> 00:45:58,319 Speaker 1: been proud of, so I can imagine and I love that. 836 00:45:58,440 --> 00:46:02,560 Speaker 1: I love that as part of her story as well. 837 00:46:02,640 --> 00:46:04,680 Speaker 1: But before we end, yeah, I didn't want to talk 838 00:46:04,719 --> 00:46:08,000 Speaker 1: a little bit about again, as I said at the 839 00:46:08,040 --> 00:46:11,600 Speaker 1: beginning of this episode, how it was so impactful for 840 00:46:11,640 --> 00:46:14,440 Speaker 1: me to see a mainly all Asian cast, which was 841 00:46:14,520 --> 00:46:20,000 Speaker 1: so rare for an American movie that it was phenomenal 842 00:46:20,040 --> 00:46:24,239 Speaker 1: to me to see these women, beautiful women being a 843 00:46:24,320 --> 00:46:27,919 Speaker 1: big story that people were latching onto. Even though yeah, 844 00:46:27,920 --> 00:46:30,640 Speaker 1: the population, we know there's a lot of Asian American 845 00:46:30,640 --> 00:46:34,480 Speaker 1: people here. We know the story is not strange because 846 00:46:34,520 --> 00:46:39,239 Speaker 1: we know that this community exists and it's has been 847 00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:43,000 Speaker 1: around for a very long time, but it's taken so long, 848 00:46:43,400 --> 00:46:47,680 Speaker 1: and honestly, I think even with as popular as it 849 00:46:47,800 --> 00:46:50,680 Speaker 1: was when Crazy Rich Asian came out, it kind of 850 00:46:50,719 --> 00:46:54,120 Speaker 1: revamped that, oh my gosh, it's an all Asian cast, 851 00:46:54,160 --> 00:46:58,800 Speaker 1: because again, we still don't have that outside of international movies, 852 00:46:58,840 --> 00:47:01,920 Speaker 1: and it's really of setting to see when you know 853 00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:05,360 Speaker 1: that there's a large population of the A p I 854 00:47:05,480 --> 00:47:09,200 Speaker 1: community out there whose stories should be told, you know, 855 00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:12,280 Speaker 1: And I think it was something that's phenomenal to me. Manari. 856 00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:15,560 Speaker 1: I'm so glad that it has gotten the attention it has. 857 00:47:15,760 --> 00:47:18,920 Speaker 1: But it also again the kind of was named a 858 00:47:18,920 --> 00:47:22,960 Speaker 1: an international movie, and it's like, but it's a family 859 00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:29,919 Speaker 1: that moves to the Midwest, what like parasite understandable, there's 860 00:47:29,920 --> 00:47:36,920 Speaker 1: a Korean movie, okay, Manori. No, it's literally about Korean 861 00:47:36,960 --> 00:47:40,319 Speaker 1: family that immigrates to the US and their adjustment to 862 00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:43,640 Speaker 1: the U s which I haven't seen. I'm going to 863 00:47:43,640 --> 00:47:46,200 Speaker 1: see and I'm excited to see, and I'm glad it's 864 00:47:46,200 --> 00:47:49,959 Speaker 1: getting all of the accolais that is. But the fact 865 00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:53,200 Speaker 1: that it's still very rare and it is outlined like that, 866 00:47:53,360 --> 00:47:57,160 Speaker 1: it says a lot for what it is. Yeah, And 867 00:47:57,200 --> 00:48:00,400 Speaker 1: I know in interviews, Amy Tan has talked about her 868 00:48:00,440 --> 00:48:04,560 Speaker 1: kind of frustration around and how her her viewpoints has 869 00:48:04,640 --> 00:48:07,040 Speaker 1: kind of changed in his nuance. But the idea that 870 00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:11,080 Speaker 1: a lot of times this book was classified as multicultural 871 00:48:11,960 --> 00:48:15,040 Speaker 1: or something, and we've talked about that too with um. 872 00:48:15,120 --> 00:48:18,799 Speaker 1: Some women have shaped it like the women's literature kind 873 00:48:18,800 --> 00:48:24,279 Speaker 1: of title, and then that very often will make you 874 00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:26,239 Speaker 1: a niche where you don't you aren't a niche and 875 00:48:26,239 --> 00:48:30,160 Speaker 1: you don't need to be, and that decreases your audience. 876 00:48:31,880 --> 00:48:35,480 Speaker 1: Yeah claims you probably not as prominently displayed or whatever 877 00:48:35,520 --> 00:48:39,080 Speaker 1: it is. But yeah, yeah, I really really enjoyed this 878 00:48:39,120 --> 00:48:42,799 Speaker 1: book and I am glad that we read it. There 879 00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:44,840 Speaker 1: are so many themes we didn't touch on that we could. 880 00:48:45,160 --> 00:48:48,560 Speaker 1: So there's a lot too, a lot too. There's a 881 00:48:48,560 --> 00:48:52,120 Speaker 1: lot in this book. Yes, oh yes there is. But 882 00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:55,720 Speaker 1: that is it's for now. Please keep your suggestions coming. 883 00:48:55,760 --> 00:48:58,480 Speaker 1: What should we read for our next book club? You 884 00:48:58,520 --> 00:49:00,680 Speaker 1: can email us at step dm Stuff at I heart 885 00:49:00,719 --> 00:49:02,520 Speaker 1: media dot com. You can find us on Twitter at 886 00:49:02,520 --> 00:49:04,640 Speaker 1: mom Stuff podcast or on Instagram as Stuff I've Never 887 00:49:04,800 --> 00:49:07,320 Speaker 1: told you, I thinks It's always to our super producer, Christina. 888 00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:10,320 Speaker 1: Thank you Christina, and thanks to you for listening Stuff 889 00:49:10,320 --> 00:49:11,919 Speaker 1: I Never told you his protection of I Heart Radio. 890 00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:13,920 Speaker 1: For more podcasts from my heart Radio, it's the heart 891 00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:16,800 Speaker 1: radio app, Apple podcast wherever you listen to your favorite shows.