WEBVTT - Is the "ugly tax" real?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Manny.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm Noah. This is Devin.

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<v Speaker 1>And this is No Such Thing, the show where we

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<v Speaker 1>settle our dumb arguments and yours by actually doing the research.

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<v Speaker 1>On today's episode, should ugly people be a protected class

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<v Speaker 1>of minority?

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<v Speaker 3>There's no such thing.

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<v Speaker 2>No such thing.

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<v Speaker 1>No such thing.

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<v Speaker 4>No such thing.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to start today's episode with a potentially insensitive question.

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<v Speaker 1>Do either of you know anyone who is truly ugly?

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<v Speaker 1>And I mean, obviously we're not including people with, who

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<v Speaker 1>are disfigured in any kind of way or, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I just mean you look at someone, you're like, wow.

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<v Speaker 2>Just naturally ugly. Not bland. No, no, no.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm talking about Whoa.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, like make you look twice, but in a bad way?

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Let me say this. I think in my current life,

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<v Speaker 2>no one comes to mind. Okay. Maybe I just surround

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<v Speaker 2>myself with beautiful people. Probably.

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<v Speaker 4>I think part of it is you get to know people,

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<v Speaker 4>and even if you maybe think they're ugly at first, physically,

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<v Speaker 4>they have a beautiful soul, and then that shapes the

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<v Speaker 4>way you see them.

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<v Speaker 1>I would say, you know, thinking about- This is the

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<v Speaker 1>hunchback of Notre Dame.

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<v Speaker 2>Exactly.

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<v Speaker 6>Thinking back- I know this guy, he works at a

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<v Speaker 6>bell tower.

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<v Speaker 2>It's pretty cool.

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<v Speaker 4>No, I feel like there were like, we've had this

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<v Speaker 4>conversation before, right? And there were some people from high

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<v Speaker 4>school who I remembered thinking, you know, nice guy, pretty

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<v Speaker 4>unfortunate looking. But then when I went back and looked

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<v Speaker 4>at him, I was like, you know, he definitely interesting looking.

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<v Speaker 2>And I think it kind of works now.

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<v Speaker 4>I think so much of, I don't know, I feel

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<v Speaker 4>like so much of ugliness is less so how someone looks,

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<v Speaker 4>more so how they carry themselves, how they dress, all

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<v Speaker 4>those sort of things.

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<v Speaker 1>You do hear about this phenomenon of the ugly, hot actor.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 4>So in looking back now, like, you know, because I

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<v Speaker 4>pulled up this guy's Instagram or whatever from high school.

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<v Speaker 2>Share the app.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah.

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<v Speaker 4>We'll put the app in the show notes so you

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<v Speaker 4>can go check it out. But in high school, he

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<v Speaker 4>didn't have a lot of confidence. He didn't really dress

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<v Speaker 4>all that well. And now it looks like he's grown

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<v Speaker 4>more into who he truly is.

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<v Speaker 2>And now I'm like, oh, you know what? This guy's

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<v Speaker 2>not that ugly.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 4>So I don't know that I personally know someone who,

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<v Speaker 4>to your point, I'd be.

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<v Speaker 5>Like, ugh.

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<v Speaker 1>Plus a lot of quote unquote ugliness back then had

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<v Speaker 1>a lot to do with. you know, people finding out

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<v Speaker 1>who they are still. There's a lot of acne back then.

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<v Speaker 1>There's a lot of, you know, you're not looking your best.

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<v Speaker 1>You're not really put together and it's not.

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<v Speaker 2>A priority really. Hygiene sometimes.

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<v Speaker 1>Noah, any, any uggos in your life?

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<v Speaker 6>No, I've cleared them out. No, but similar, I do

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<v Speaker 6>think a lot of it is kind of like people

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<v Speaker 6>coming into their own and styling themselves correctly. I mean,

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<v Speaker 6>something like this that I think about is like people

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<v Speaker 6>will be like, like a balding man.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 6>And it's like, Kind of things that are unsightly but

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<v Speaker 6>not necessarily ugly. Yeah, but people will be like, oh, no,

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<v Speaker 6>they're actually really hot or whatever. And it's like, well,

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<v Speaker 6>you don't like them because they're bald. You like them

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<v Speaker 6>because they have some swag or something.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, yeah.

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<v Speaker 6>And it's like I think that kind of phenomenon just happens.

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<v Speaker 6>You know, it's like George Costanza is not like a

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<v Speaker 6>conventionally attractive guy. Jason Alexander looks okay, but people like

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<v Speaker 6>that character because he's funny and interesting, especially now with

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<v Speaker 6>hindsight of time passing. It's like we can look– but

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<v Speaker 6>like he was not a sex symbol.

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<v Speaker 2>You know what I mean?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>But– Despite how much he was pulling on that show.

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<v Speaker 5>Exactly.

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<v Speaker 1>Almost once an episode. So there are ugly people in

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<v Speaker 1>the world, but we don't have them in our lives.

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<v Speaker 1>So have you ever considered that the reason we don't

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<v Speaker 1>have ugly people in our lives is that we wouldn't

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<v Speaker 1>allow them to be in our lives? And that we,

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<v Speaker 1>in some sense, discriminated against them, never even considered that

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<v Speaker 1>they could be friend-worthy.

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<v Speaker 2>Truth bomb.

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<v Speaker 1>So you might have heard of this concept called pretty privilege,

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<v Speaker 1>this idea that attractive people get certain bonuses, social bonuses

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<v Speaker 1>throughout their lives strictly because they are attractive. What you

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<v Speaker 1>might not have heard of is a concept called ugly tax,

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<v Speaker 1>which is the opposite of pretty privilege. It's the idea

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<v Speaker 1>that if you are unattractive, you receive a social penalty

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<v Speaker 1>just for being ugly, so to speak. Another more academic

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<v Speaker 1>concept word for this is lookism much like racism or

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<v Speaker 1>ableism or sexism it is the discrimination against people for

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<v Speaker 1>the way that they look.

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<v Speaker 4>I think there is some legitimacy to that you know

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<v Speaker 4>I think it's it's a status thing I think I

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<v Speaker 4>don't think you know we maybe consciously were like oh

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<v Speaker 4>I don't want to be friends with this person because

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<v Speaker 4>I think this person is ugly yeah well at least

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<v Speaker 4>I'll speak for myself you try to surround yourself with

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<v Speaker 4>people who have attributes.

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<v Speaker 2>That you admire or you're.

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<v Speaker 4>Attracted to in some way and not even romantically at

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<v Speaker 4>least you know me personally that's what I tend to

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<v Speaker 4>do so I think there is a world like you're

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<v Speaker 4>saying if I viewed someone as ugly maybe we would

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<v Speaker 4>work together or have some mutual friends but i wouldn't

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<v Speaker 4>go out of my way to talk to that person

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<v Speaker 4>or to be friends with that person yeah so inevitably

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<v Speaker 4>if i'm putting just less effort into getting to know

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<v Speaker 4>those types of people yep then i would weed them

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<v Speaker 4>out of my life.

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<v Speaker 1>It could totally be subconscious we can go even a

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<v Speaker 1>layer deeper you might not even work with any ugly

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<v Speaker 1>people because they might not get a chance to get

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<v Speaker 1>hired i think that's a big.

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<v Speaker 2>Piece i'm sorry i've worked with ugly people.

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<v Speaker 6>Well, some get through the cracks.

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<v Speaker 1>Name some names.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm just kidding.

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<v Speaker 6>Please don't.

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<v Speaker 4>Manny, you didn't answer the question. Do you have any

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<v Speaker 4>ugly people in your life?

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<v Speaker 6>No.

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<v Speaker 1>But I also, I think, have this kind of hippie

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<v Speaker 1>idea that there aren't really ugly people.

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<v Speaker 6>Oh, please.

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<v Speaker 1>I look at a person who's ostensibly or supposedly ugly,

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<v Speaker 1>and I just think, yeah, I guess they don't look

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<v Speaker 1>the best. But like, ugly is such a specific, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm thinking of like, gremlins and ghouls from my fairy

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<v Speaker 1>tales that I read when I was young. Goblins, ghouls.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>Goblin, ghoul, a zombie with no conscience.

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<v Speaker 2>Question, what do these things all have in common?

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<v Speaker 6>I'll play the receiver.

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<v Speaker 2>A zombie with no conscience. But human....

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<v Speaker 1>Human beings, I mean, I can't really conceptualize ugly. I

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<v Speaker 1>know people who are unattractive.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay.

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<v Speaker 1>I think it's different than.

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<v Speaker 2>What's the difference?

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<v Speaker 1>Ugly, I think, is something that... is, you know, a garish,

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<v Speaker 1>like a, something that makes you maybe recoil.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay.

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<v Speaker 4>Let me, let's, let's, you're both in loving relationships. You're

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<v Speaker 4>both in loving marriages. Right. But there was a life

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<v Speaker 4>before that where you were both on this thing called

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<v Speaker 4>dating apps. When you were on hinge, you didn't have

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<v Speaker 4>people who liked you on hinge, who you looked at

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<v Speaker 4>and said, this is so mean.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, yeah. I, of course, encountered people who I was

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<v Speaker 1>definitely not attracted to.

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<v Speaker 2>Nobody you encountered that made you rethink?

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<v Speaker 1>I was never like, damn, this person is ugly.

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<v Speaker 4>Look, and I say this because I feel when this

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<v Speaker 4>happens to me, I feel kind of bad because it's

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<v Speaker 4>usually those– the people sometimes who I– find the most

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<v Speaker 4>unattractive who are liking me on these apps or sometimes

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<v Speaker 4>people put the most effort into their responses yeah they

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<v Speaker 4>have to right and they you know they write like

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<v Speaker 4>a really nice response to one of my prompts and

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<v Speaker 4>it's like really thought out and they're putting really effort

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<v Speaker 4>in and i'm like not a chance damn i'm not

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<v Speaker 4>gonna date this person but i wish i could just

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<v Speaker 4>respond to the thing you know just.

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<v Speaker 6>Hey that was really nice yeah We're going to pass

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<v Speaker 6>it this time, but we will keep you in mind

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<v Speaker 6>in the future if other roles open up.

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe if a friendship role, we're going to open up.

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<v Speaker 6>Feel free to keep an eye on openings.

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<v Speaker 1>So we all agree that there probably is some form

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<v Speaker 1>of discrimination happening, being done onto our ugly brothers and sisters.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, for sure.

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<v Speaker 1>And maybe you don't feel like discrimination is the right word,

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<v Speaker 1>but that you know, they're being treated a little bit

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<v Speaker 1>differently than the rest.

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<v Speaker 6>Of the population.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 6>There's a bias against it. I mean, just we know

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<v Speaker 6>from past episodes, tall people get paid more.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 6>That's a simple example of something like that where in

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<v Speaker 6>society we've decided tallness is attractive.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 6>And this exhibits itself not only in dating where obviously

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<v Speaker 6>you hear about this all the time, but even in

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<v Speaker 6>the workplace where it's like presumably not everyone's trying to

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<v Speaker 6>date this person they're hiring. because they're tall. Right. But

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<v Speaker 6>that's hard numbers.

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<v Speaker 1>But that brings up an interesting dynamic here because are

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<v Speaker 1>we talking about tall people being, you know, getting essentially

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<v Speaker 1>a bonus for being tall or are we talking about

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<v Speaker 1>shorter people or average height people being actively penalized for

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<v Speaker 1>being that way? Or maybe it's a little bit of both.

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<v Speaker 1>So like, is the ugly tax real or is pretty

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<v Speaker 1>privilege real? This idea that you get benefits for being

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<v Speaker 1>attractive or more attractive than an ugly person.

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<v Speaker 2>I think it's both.

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<v Speaker 1>A little bit of overlap.

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<v Speaker 6>They have to be inextricably linked.

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<v Speaker 5>Yes.

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<v Speaker 6>Or else neither could exist.

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<v Speaker 1>Like Batman and the Joker.

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<v Speaker 2>If you're getting a bonus for being attractive.

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<v Speaker 5>Exactly.

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<v Speaker 6>Literally about Batman and the Joker, honestly.

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<v Speaker 2>Joker's ugly.

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<v Speaker 6>That's his whole problem, kind of. Depending on when you

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<v Speaker 6>ask him.

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<v Speaker 5>You want to know how I got these scars?

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<v Speaker 4>I think there's a neutral where it doesn't affect it

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<v Speaker 4>at all. Let's say job hiring is an example. This person,

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<v Speaker 4>I'm not even thinking about their attractiveness. They look normal.

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<v Speaker 4>It doesn't come into effect. I think there's a wow,

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<v Speaker 4>this person is very attractive in that Can help or

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<v Speaker 4>hurt in certain situations, right? I've heard about, you know,

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<v Speaker 4>really attractive women maybe in a business context not being

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<v Speaker 4>taken seriously. And then there's, I think, a penalty of,

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<v Speaker 4>you know, if you have two people who are maybe

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<v Speaker 4>just as qualified. Let's say three people. One is average looking,

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<v Speaker 4>one is really hot, and one is really ugly. I

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<v Speaker 4>think the ugly person is probably going to be the

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<v Speaker 4>first person eliminated out of that.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, if you're if they're all exactly.

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<v Speaker 6>Think about politics or something. You get two men who

0:11:18.080 --> 0:11:20.340
<v Speaker 6>are have the same policies on paper.

0:11:20.420 --> 0:11:20.579
<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

0:11:20.980 --> 0:11:23.100
<v Speaker 6>One is kind of just like more clean cut and

0:11:23.200 --> 0:11:26.070
<v Speaker 6>more conventionally attractive and kind of a better speaker. Seems

0:11:26.110 --> 0:11:28.569
<v Speaker 6>more confident probably because of those things.

0:11:28.650 --> 0:11:28.870
<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

0:11:29.010 --> 0:11:31.410
<v Speaker 6>Versus another guy who's just a little nerdier and like

0:11:31.690 --> 0:11:35.230
<v Speaker 6>less cool looking. And, you know, maybe just facial features

0:11:35.290 --> 0:11:38.010
<v Speaker 6>aren't as nice. Body's not as, you know, kept up

0:11:38.050 --> 0:11:38.589
<v Speaker 6>as the other guy.

0:11:39.330 --> 0:11:41.370
<v Speaker 2>Who's going to win? We know this.

0:11:41.490 --> 0:11:43.810
<v Speaker 1>That's a really good analogy actually because the word people

0:11:43.890 --> 0:11:47.390
<v Speaker 1>use for that is electability. Like if you are ugly

0:11:47.809 --> 0:11:49.970
<v Speaker 1>and you're going for a job that an attractive person

0:11:50.050 --> 0:11:54.070
<v Speaker 1>is going for, who's more electable, quote unquote. And if

0:11:54.350 --> 0:11:58.460
<v Speaker 1>the more attractive person is more electable strictly because they're

0:11:58.500 --> 0:12:02.760
<v Speaker 1>more attractive, does the uglier person deserve to have some

0:12:03.000 --> 0:12:05.120
<v Speaker 1>kind of attention paid to them in terms of like

0:12:05.160 --> 0:12:06.579
<v Speaker 1>their civil rights?

0:12:06.600 --> 0:12:06.760
<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

0:12:08.160 --> 0:12:10.860
<v Speaker 2>Are we talking about like DEI for ugly people? Maybe.

0:12:10.880 --> 0:12:14.119
<v Speaker 1>If it's a real class of people who are facing

0:12:14.500 --> 0:12:17.559
<v Speaker 1>discrimination for something that they can't control.

0:12:17.580 --> 0:12:18.400
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:12:18.450 --> 0:12:23.350
<v Speaker 1>And you can also say that about race and gender

0:12:23.610 --> 0:12:24.150
<v Speaker 1>and age.

0:12:24.210 --> 0:12:24.450
<v Speaker 2>Sexuality.

0:12:24.490 --> 0:12:26.170
<v Speaker 1>All these other classes that we protect.

0:12:26.370 --> 0:12:26.570
<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

0:12:26.870 --> 0:12:28.890
<v Speaker 1>Do ugly people get to, should they have a little

0:12:28.910 --> 0:12:29.870
<v Speaker 1>bit of that as well?

0:12:30.450 --> 0:12:31.490
<v Speaker 2>But then who's determining?

0:12:31.510 --> 0:12:33.189
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, that's where I get to protect.

0:12:33.830 --> 0:12:36.750
<v Speaker 4>Who's determining who fits into that class? Some of this

0:12:36.809 --> 0:12:38.230
<v Speaker 4>other stuff is obvious, right?

0:12:38.250 --> 0:12:39.110
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah.

0:12:39.130 --> 0:12:40.429
<v Speaker 1>And you're saying this is more subjective.

0:12:40.950 --> 0:12:42.190
<v Speaker 2>Well, yeah.

0:12:42.250 --> 0:12:45.610
<v Speaker 4>Who's going to be rating whether or not you qualify for...

0:12:45.570 --> 0:12:46.590
<v Speaker 4>If you're ugly enough to.

0:12:46.530 --> 0:12:47.330
<v Speaker 2>Qualify for this class.

0:12:47.350 --> 0:12:49.270
<v Speaker 6>It would have to be based on your weight or

0:12:49.290 --> 0:12:52.340
<v Speaker 6>your height or... It can't be like, oh, your nose

0:12:52.380 --> 0:12:52.800
<v Speaker 6>is big.

0:12:53.660 --> 0:12:55.179
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:12:55.200 --> 0:12:57.560
<v Speaker 1>How do you... What criteria would it be? It would

0:12:57.580 --> 0:12:58.340
<v Speaker 1>have to be case by case, I guess.

0:12:58.360 --> 0:13:00.420
<v Speaker 6>It would have to be being ostracized, being shunned from

0:13:00.460 --> 0:13:03.380
<v Speaker 6>society and then being like, oh... All those people are

0:13:03.400 --> 0:13:06.260
<v Speaker 6>on this weird island for ugly people. Let's throw them

0:13:06.280 --> 0:13:06.660
<v Speaker 6>some money.

0:13:07.809 --> 0:13:10.730
<v Speaker 1>I guess it would work like if I felt like

0:13:10.750 --> 0:13:13.030
<v Speaker 1>I were fired for being black, I would have to

0:13:13.090 --> 0:13:15.890
<v Speaker 1>make some kind of complaint. Then someone would have to

0:13:15.950 --> 0:13:18.750
<v Speaker 1>look at the case to determine whether that was true.

0:13:19.350 --> 0:13:22.740
<v Speaker 1>And for someone who's a little homelier than the rest

0:13:22.770 --> 0:13:25.980
<v Speaker 1>of the population, might have to go through that same process.

0:13:26.020 --> 0:13:27.860
<v Speaker 4>So like a judge would have to look at him

0:13:27.880 --> 0:13:30.120
<v Speaker 4>and say, are you ugly enough to qualify to be

0:13:30.160 --> 0:13:31.839
<v Speaker 4>protected against this firing?

0:13:32.130 --> 0:13:32.370
<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

0:13:32.550 --> 0:13:35.170
<v Speaker 6>They could use AI tools to determine this.

0:13:35.970 --> 0:13:38.589
<v Speaker 1>Well, these are all the kind of floating questions in

0:13:38.610 --> 0:13:41.250
<v Speaker 1>my head for this episode that we're hopefully going to

0:13:41.270 --> 0:13:44.429
<v Speaker 1>get to the bottom of. There are two things I

0:13:44.470 --> 0:13:49.670
<v Speaker 1>think we need to do here. Number one is talk

0:13:49.750 --> 0:13:50.630
<v Speaker 1>to an ugly person.

0:13:51.070 --> 0:13:52.410
<v Speaker 5>Okay.

0:13:52.429 --> 0:13:55.130
<v Speaker 1>And try to understand their experiences. Try to figure out

0:13:55.200 --> 0:13:57.840
<v Speaker 1>how they feel like they've been discriminated against.

0:13:58.080 --> 0:13:58.260
<v Speaker 6>Sure.

0:13:58.890 --> 0:14:02.510
<v Speaker 1>But before that, we're going to talk to Thomas Spiegel,

0:14:02.880 --> 0:14:07.640
<v Speaker 1>who's a professor at the Miyazaki University in Tokyo, Japan.

0:14:07.660 --> 0:14:08.219
<v Speaker 2>Wow.

0:14:08.700 --> 0:14:11.260
<v Speaker 1>And he's also a philosopher, which I didn't know we

0:14:11.280 --> 0:14:13.900
<v Speaker 1>were still calling people that these days. So that's interesting.

0:14:13.920 --> 0:14:14.740
<v Speaker 2>I'm one of those.

0:14:14.900 --> 0:14:18.530
<v Speaker 1>He's studied lookism for years and years and years, and

0:14:18.550 --> 0:14:20.690
<v Speaker 1>he'll be able to kind of hold our hands through

0:14:20.730 --> 0:14:22.890
<v Speaker 1>this learning process. That's after the break.

0:14:23.090 --> 0:14:23.270
<v Speaker 7>All right.

0:14:23.290 --> 0:14:24.970
<v Speaker 2>So we want to talk to an ugly person. So

0:14:24.990 --> 0:14:27.230
<v Speaker 2>we have Manny Fidel on the podcast today.

0:14:27.310 --> 0:14:34.490
<v Speaker 6>Hey. That's good stuff right there.

0:14:39.950 --> 0:14:40.470
<v Speaker 2>We're back.

0:14:40.810 --> 0:14:41.270
<v Speaker 1>I'm Manny.

0:14:41.430 --> 0:14:41.810
<v Speaker 6>I'm Noah.

0:14:41.970 --> 0:14:42.290
<v Speaker 2>Devin.

0:14:43.200 --> 0:14:46.980
<v Speaker 1>And we are about to hear from Thomas Spiegel. I'll

0:14:47.000 --> 0:14:47.940
<v Speaker 1>just have him introduce himself.

0:14:48.540 --> 0:14:53.400
<v Speaker 5>My name is Thomas Spiegel. I'm professor of philosophy at

0:14:53.500 --> 0:14:58.210
<v Speaker 5>the Miyazaki International University here in Japan, but I'm originally

0:14:58.330 --> 0:14:59.190
<v Speaker 5>from Germany.

0:14:59.570 --> 0:15:02.110
<v Speaker 1>The first question for Thomas is the obvious one. Can

0:15:02.130 --> 0:15:06.630
<v Speaker 1>you just define what lookism is exactly?

0:15:07.650 --> 0:15:11.650
<v Speaker 5>Lookism is a term that was invented and popularized in

0:15:11.700 --> 0:15:16.780
<v Speaker 5>the seventies in sociology and psychology. And it means just

0:15:17.900 --> 0:15:22.110
<v Speaker 5>discrimination of people based on appearance. Like with any kind

0:15:22.130 --> 0:15:27.460
<v Speaker 5>of discrimination, there's positive and negative discrimination. Positive discrimination about

0:15:27.480 --> 0:15:30.320
<v Speaker 5>your appearance is when you're being treated better for looking good.

0:15:31.040 --> 0:15:35.480
<v Speaker 5>And negative discrimination is if you're being treated worse for

0:15:35.540 --> 0:15:38.760
<v Speaker 5>being not good looking, for being ugly, or for just

0:15:38.860 --> 0:15:44.700
<v Speaker 5>being bland or not meeting some other standard. And lookism

0:15:44.800 --> 0:15:48.760
<v Speaker 5>can take specific shapes as like subgroups. For example, we

0:15:48.800 --> 0:15:53.490
<v Speaker 5>have something like fatphobia. heightism, which is something that I'm

0:15:53.850 --> 0:15:58.490
<v Speaker 5>currently working on. So heightism, the discrimination based on your height.

0:15:59.150 --> 0:16:03.310
<v Speaker 5>We have ageism, which is at least partially appearance discrimination.

0:16:04.110 --> 0:16:09.330
<v Speaker 5>And in some cases it overlaps with something like ableism,

0:16:09.650 --> 0:16:14.300
<v Speaker 5>where people are sort of avoidant of disabled people who

0:16:14.380 --> 0:16:17.420
<v Speaker 5>are also, or may be disfigured, for example.

0:16:17.760 --> 0:16:20.320
<v Speaker 4>It's interesting to hear sort of like the overlaps, you know,

0:16:20.340 --> 0:16:23.920
<v Speaker 4>like height and which we've covered before and some of

0:16:23.940 --> 0:16:27.440
<v Speaker 4>these other things that, yeah, are looks related.

0:16:27.640 --> 0:16:27.780
<v Speaker 5>Yep.

0:16:28.060 --> 0:16:32.020
<v Speaker 1>So I want to know if there's any empirical data

0:16:32.470 --> 0:16:35.050
<v Speaker 1>about lookism. It sounds right. It makes sense.

0:16:35.070 --> 0:16:35.330
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:16:35.910 --> 0:16:37.950
<v Speaker 1>But is there, I need to see some hard numbers.

0:16:37.970 --> 0:16:41.010
<v Speaker 1>Are ugly people actually being discriminated against and how can

0:16:41.050 --> 0:16:42.390
<v Speaker 1>you prove that in the numbers?

0:16:46.420 --> 0:16:51.450
<v Speaker 5>The amount of evidence is insane. I was myself surprised

0:16:51.490 --> 0:16:54.930
<v Speaker 5>when I first started to become interested in this. If

0:16:54.990 --> 0:16:58.630
<v Speaker 5>you start to look for sources and surveys and experiments

0:16:58.670 --> 0:17:02.850
<v Speaker 5>or whatever, you find dozens, maybe hundreds of studies on this.

0:17:02.950 --> 0:17:08.149
<v Speaker 5>The most researched or the best researched disadvantage is in work.

0:17:09.230 --> 0:17:12.080
<v Speaker 5>So on the one hand, there's a hiring disadvantage for

0:17:12.119 --> 0:17:16.399
<v Speaker 5>ugly people. People who don't look good are less likely

0:17:16.460 --> 0:17:20.270
<v Speaker 5>to be hired, all else being equal. Another very well-researched

0:17:20.310 --> 0:17:25.070
<v Speaker 5>thing is sort of a wage gap between good-looking people

0:17:25.109 --> 0:17:28.690
<v Speaker 5>and bad-looking people. And that depends a bit on the

0:17:28.750 --> 0:17:33.530
<v Speaker 5>society that you live in. So one recent study in

0:17:33.609 --> 0:17:39.480
<v Speaker 5>China showed that for every 10 centimeters that you are taller,

0:17:39.520 --> 0:17:44.399
<v Speaker 5>for example, than somebody who's otherwise similar to you or

0:17:44.420 --> 0:17:48.280
<v Speaker 5>the same to you, you get almost a 6% increase

0:17:48.380 --> 0:17:53.050
<v Speaker 5>in wages. There's an older study in the USA that

0:17:53.290 --> 0:17:57.550
<v Speaker 5>found that for each inch of your height, you get

0:17:57.670 --> 0:18:02.710
<v Speaker 5>roughly a bonus of roughly like $ 100, 000 in lifetime earnings.

0:18:03.670 --> 0:18:08.490
<v Speaker 5>Same job, same demographic. It's also something that doesn't really

0:18:08.830 --> 0:18:11.010
<v Speaker 5>start late in life, you know, when you start getting

0:18:11.050 --> 0:18:15.200
<v Speaker 5>into the labor force. We have some experimental evidence that

0:18:16.740 --> 0:18:20.120
<v Speaker 5>teachers as well as parents, which is even more sad,

0:18:20.160 --> 0:18:23.169
<v Speaker 5>are treating their better-looking children better than the ugly children.

0:18:23.590 --> 0:18:27.669
<v Speaker 5>So in elementary school already, but basically as soon as

0:18:27.690 --> 0:18:31.010
<v Speaker 5>you're out of the womb, you're being sort of judged

0:18:31.070 --> 0:18:35.180
<v Speaker 5>differently for the way you look. Then there's the very

0:18:35.280 --> 0:18:38.700
<v Speaker 5>obvious discrimination that you have in dating and in romance.

0:18:38.880 --> 0:18:40.860
<v Speaker 5>We kind of all grew up with this knowledge that

0:18:40.920 --> 0:18:45.450
<v Speaker 5>if you're better-looking... You're most successful in romance.

0:18:54.150 --> 0:18:56.659
<v Speaker 1>The thing that struck me the most, I think, is

0:18:56.700 --> 0:19:00.959
<v Speaker 1>that you get a bonus of roughly like $ 100, 000 in

0:19:01.080 --> 0:19:04.240
<v Speaker 1>lifetime earnings for each inch.

0:19:04.320 --> 0:19:07.930
<v Speaker 6>So if Devin is 10 inches taller than me.

0:19:08.230 --> 0:19:08.510
<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

0:19:08.550 --> 0:19:09.629
<v Speaker 2>Oh, come on, I ain't Devin.

0:19:10.000 --> 0:19:11.480
<v Speaker 6>I know I'm saying demonstrating for.

0:19:11.400 --> 0:19:13.609
<v Speaker 7>The sake of argument you would make a million dollars

0:19:13.660 --> 0:19:16.950
<v Speaker 7>more in lifetime over your life yeah which is if

0:19:17.190 --> 0:19:20.510
<v Speaker 7>we're both podcasters yeah exactly all else being equal yeah

0:19:21.400 --> 0:19:21.740
<v Speaker 7>Which is crazy.

0:19:21.770 --> 0:19:23.450
<v Speaker 6>Look exactly the same except for this one.

0:19:23.830 --> 0:19:26.450
<v Speaker 1>Especially when you think about what you could do. Let's

0:19:26.530 --> 0:19:31.230
<v Speaker 1>make a more realistic example. I'm maybe one inch taller

0:19:31.250 --> 0:19:35.149
<v Speaker 1>than Devin. If I make $ 100, 000 more in lifetime earnings,

0:19:35.210 --> 0:19:37.210
<v Speaker 1>it's not just that $ 100, 000, but it's what I could

0:19:37.270 --> 0:19:39.389
<v Speaker 1>do with it in terms of investing.

0:19:39.790 --> 0:19:42.850
<v Speaker 2>Lunch with Jay-Z. Lunch with Jay-Z, exactly.

0:19:42.869 --> 0:19:44.090
<v Speaker 1>There's a lot you could do.

0:19:44.690 --> 0:19:45.630
<v Speaker 6>He's tall.

0:19:46.630 --> 0:19:49.300
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, he is. Their parents treating their kid their ugly

0:19:49.340 --> 0:19:50.899
<v Speaker 2>kids yeah worse.

0:19:51.359 --> 0:19:53.859
<v Speaker 1>That's pretty tough i'd yeah you know i'm not a.

0:19:53.840 --> 0:19:56.760
<v Speaker 4>Parent i can't speak to it man i'll ask you

0:19:56.780 --> 0:20:01.100
<v Speaker 4>you only got one kid yeah uh but i can't

0:20:01.140 --> 0:20:03.920
<v Speaker 4>imagine if you have a kid i can't imagine thinking

0:20:03.960 --> 0:20:07.510
<v Speaker 4>your kid is ugly it's your child Yeah.

0:20:07.530 --> 0:20:07.770
<v Speaker 2>That's crazy.

0:20:07.790 --> 0:20:08.909
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, but it's the comparison.

0:20:09.109 --> 0:20:10.050
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:20:10.170 --> 0:20:11.910
<v Speaker 4>So maybe you don't think they're ugly. Maybe you're just,

0:20:12.510 --> 0:20:13.670
<v Speaker 4>by comparison, uglier.

0:20:13.710 --> 0:20:14.730
<v Speaker 6>I think that's, yeah.

0:20:14.830 --> 0:20:17.970
<v Speaker 1>Because a lot of lookism, it seems, is the comparison

0:20:17.990 --> 0:20:21.629
<v Speaker 1>between two different people versus just are you ugly.

0:20:21.650 --> 0:20:25.530
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, so you get one gorgeous child who's, then you're

0:20:25.550 --> 0:20:28.409
<v Speaker 6>happy and they're bubbly and great personality. And then the

0:20:28.430 --> 0:20:30.860
<v Speaker 6>other one comes and maybe they're just a little less

0:20:30.940 --> 0:20:34.470
<v Speaker 6>cute or whatever. And then downstream effects of that. They

0:20:34.490 --> 0:20:36.770
<v Speaker 6>have a worse personality maybe because they've been neglected by

0:20:36.790 --> 0:20:40.610
<v Speaker 6>their parents. Teachers don't like them as much. Now they're

0:20:40.650 --> 0:20:44.050
<v Speaker 6>short too. They're making less money. They can't get a job.

0:20:44.350 --> 0:20:44.609
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:20:44.730 --> 0:20:46.490
<v Speaker 6>It just spirals day one.

0:20:47.630 --> 0:20:51.820
<v Speaker 1>Then we've got the dating scenarios that he was talking about.

0:20:51.840 --> 0:20:52.940
<v Speaker 2>We know all about that.

0:20:53.140 --> 0:20:57.119
<v Speaker 1>Which we're all very familiar with. And it reminded me

0:20:57.220 --> 0:21:00.080
<v Speaker 1>of this kind of thing I think about when people

0:21:00.920 --> 0:21:04.530
<v Speaker 1>find a very tall person to be really attractive. and

0:21:04.710 --> 0:21:06.790
<v Speaker 1>maybe this is the hater inside me, but I'm always like,

0:21:07.250 --> 0:21:11.130
<v Speaker 1>is he hot or is he just tall? And how

0:21:11.170 --> 0:21:13.189
<v Speaker 1>much is that playing a role into how attracted you

0:21:13.270 --> 0:21:15.830
<v Speaker 1>are to the person? And how ashamed are you that

0:21:15.850 --> 0:21:17.070
<v Speaker 1>you don't think of me that way?

0:21:17.090 --> 0:21:20.629
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, more importantly, yeah.

0:21:21.310 --> 0:21:23.890
<v Speaker 1>Now, speaking of the dating scene, I wanted to ask

0:21:24.030 --> 0:21:31.000
<v Speaker 1>Thomas if there is actually a scientific consensus to what

0:21:31.100 --> 0:21:36.470
<v Speaker 1>we think is attractive. Obviously, it's subjective. People have types

0:21:36.550 --> 0:21:41.709
<v Speaker 1>and tastes. But is there a baseline scientific level of attractiveness?

0:21:42.600 --> 0:21:46.460
<v Speaker 5>It's not really an established consensus in the science as

0:21:46.500 --> 0:21:48.780
<v Speaker 5>far as I can see. But there's some evidence that

0:21:49.220 --> 0:21:55.080
<v Speaker 5>we are always converging on certain traits being almost universally attractive.

0:21:55.240 --> 0:22:00.970
<v Speaker 5>So a common candidate for this is facial symmetry. So

0:22:01.030 --> 0:22:05.250
<v Speaker 5>people who have specifically symmetric faces are considered more attractive

0:22:05.290 --> 0:22:11.820
<v Speaker 5>than those that are very obviously non-symmetric. And then also, again, height.

0:22:12.420 --> 0:22:16.080
<v Speaker 5>So not in every society, but especially in the West,

0:22:16.119 --> 0:22:20.380
<v Speaker 5>but also non-Western societies, being taller is in many cases,

0:22:20.540 --> 0:22:25.439
<v Speaker 5>especially for men, is considered a marker of attraction. As

0:22:25.500 --> 0:22:29.250
<v Speaker 5>far as I know, we haven't found, like, the one

0:22:29.430 --> 0:22:33.130
<v Speaker 5>formula yet so sort of the one person that would

0:22:33.290 --> 0:22:37.910
<v Speaker 5>be uniquely supremely appealing to everybody else in the world

0:22:38.010 --> 0:22:40.350
<v Speaker 5>maybe we will find something like this in the future

0:22:40.930 --> 0:22:44.170
<v Speaker 5>however there are some studies where people are asked to

0:22:44.270 --> 0:22:49.669
<v Speaker 5>rate attractiveness of other people so there's a 2020 study

0:22:49.790 --> 0:22:55.790
<v Speaker 5>from austria that asked participants to rate attractiveness and one

0:22:55.990 --> 0:23:01.440
<v Speaker 5>interesting finding there was that people agree a surprising amount

0:23:02.100 --> 0:23:05.659
<v Speaker 5>on who's attractive, much more than we would like to

0:23:05.720 --> 0:23:08.980
<v Speaker 5>admit in ordinary life, I think, because we think it's

0:23:09.000 --> 0:23:12.540
<v Speaker 5>something very subjective. It has to do with your upbringing.

0:23:12.780 --> 0:23:15.680
<v Speaker 5>We like to think that we have unique preferences, but

0:23:16.100 --> 0:23:20.420
<v Speaker 5>there's evidence that we are much more conformist in what

0:23:20.520 --> 0:23:21.680
<v Speaker 5>we find attractive.

0:23:22.260 --> 0:23:25.000
<v Speaker 1>So I thought that was interesting. There obviously is not

0:23:25.040 --> 0:23:29.770
<v Speaker 1>like a baseline scientific level of attractiveness, but was surprised

0:23:29.790 --> 0:23:33.130
<v Speaker 1>that if, for example, the three of us were shown

0:23:33.130 --> 0:23:37.710
<v Speaker 1>10 attractive people on a piece of paper and asked

0:23:37.770 --> 0:23:41.640
<v Speaker 1>to rank them, our rankings might be way more similar

0:23:41.700 --> 0:23:44.700
<v Speaker 1>than we thought they would be. You know, you might

0:23:44.760 --> 0:23:47.080
<v Speaker 1>imagine that the three of us have much different taste

0:23:47.220 --> 0:23:51.140
<v Speaker 1>in romantic partners, but maybe we don't. And that kind

0:23:51.160 --> 0:23:53.659
<v Speaker 1>of complicates things when it comes to some of the

0:23:53.859 --> 0:23:56.500
<v Speaker 1>questions I'm going to ask Thomas about in terms of

0:23:56.940 --> 0:24:02.000
<v Speaker 1>whether attractiveness or the lack of attractiveness should be kind

0:24:02.020 --> 0:24:04.850
<v Speaker 1>of a protected class in society.

0:24:05.430 --> 0:24:08.750
<v Speaker 2>If there was not a consensus, then what would looks be, period?

0:24:09.190 --> 0:24:09.450
<v Speaker 6>Yeah.

0:24:09.890 --> 0:24:13.450
<v Speaker 4>If it was so individualized, then there wouldn't be ugly people.

0:24:13.930 --> 0:24:16.600
<v Speaker 6>Just to put it into simpler terms, think about in

0:24:16.930 --> 0:24:20.300
<v Speaker 6>high school or whatever, there's just prom king and queen

0:24:20.340 --> 0:24:23.159
<v Speaker 6>or whatever. Everyone agrees. There are just these people that

0:24:23.200 --> 0:24:26.710
<v Speaker 6>exist among us. Basically, everyone... Yeah, you might, you know,

0:24:26.850 --> 0:24:29.669
<v Speaker 6>maybe you're not into that hair color generally or whatever,

0:24:29.710 --> 0:24:31.710
<v Speaker 6>but like, okay, these are the top people.

0:24:31.930 --> 0:24:36.189
<v Speaker 1>And so there's a difference between your taste in a

0:24:36.230 --> 0:24:40.630
<v Speaker 1>particular person and your ability to recognize that they're attractive.

0:24:40.770 --> 0:24:41.430
<v Speaker 2>Because then there's.

0:24:41.310 --> 0:24:45.910
<v Speaker 6>Also like a self-selection sort of thing of like, well,

0:24:46.440 --> 0:24:47.800
<v Speaker 6>that's not going to be my person.

0:24:47.900 --> 0:24:48.700
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:24:49.300 --> 0:24:52.639
<v Speaker 6>They might look great, amazing, but I'm going to go

0:24:52.700 --> 0:24:55.080
<v Speaker 6>over here with this group here. This might be more

0:24:55.119 --> 0:24:55.700
<v Speaker 6>on my level.

0:24:56.180 --> 0:25:00.270
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, exactly. I want to bring this conversation back

0:25:00.330 --> 0:25:03.990
<v Speaker 1>to the less attractive of us in society. One of

0:25:04.010 --> 0:25:08.470
<v Speaker 1>the central questions of this episode is whether or not

0:25:08.930 --> 0:25:14.340
<v Speaker 1>ugly people, quote unquote ugly, should be a protected class

0:25:14.840 --> 0:25:18.649
<v Speaker 1>of minority if they are as it seems they are,

0:25:18.750 --> 0:25:23.210
<v Speaker 1>being discriminated to such degree. And so I asked Thomas,

0:25:23.990 --> 0:25:27.780
<v Speaker 1>why don't we have legal protections for ugly people?

0:25:29.480 --> 0:25:33.500
<v Speaker 5>The bigger problem is that ugly people don't seem to

0:25:33.600 --> 0:25:36.960
<v Speaker 5>make up a social group in the same sense. So,

0:25:37.080 --> 0:25:41.680
<v Speaker 5>for example, most, let's say, black people or like racial

0:25:41.740 --> 0:25:46.580
<v Speaker 5>minorities and most women are not ashamed of to be

0:25:46.840 --> 0:25:50.000
<v Speaker 5>women or like the race that they are. In most

0:25:50.100 --> 0:25:52.180
<v Speaker 5>cases they don't have a problem with this. In many

0:25:52.240 --> 0:25:54.790
<v Speaker 5>cases they are proud of being a woman or being

0:25:54.910 --> 0:25:58.650
<v Speaker 5>of a certain minority. But ugliness or being ugly, that's

0:25:58.710 --> 0:26:00.869
<v Speaker 5>a club that nobody wants to be a part of.

0:26:01.270 --> 0:26:04.389
<v Speaker 5>Almost nobody would like to come out and call themselves

0:26:05.450 --> 0:26:09.500
<v Speaker 5>ugly with a proud chest. And so if you don't

0:26:09.640 --> 0:26:17.800
<v Speaker 5>have this type of self-identification, and also external identification. So

0:26:18.000 --> 0:26:21.190
<v Speaker 5>we are not grouping like ugly people together as a

0:26:21.230 --> 0:26:25.050
<v Speaker 5>social group that we do with women and with racial minorities.

0:26:25.890 --> 0:26:29.290
<v Speaker 5>If you don't have this, you can't really have the

0:26:29.430 --> 0:26:32.350
<v Speaker 5>formation of a social group. And if you don't have

0:26:32.369 --> 0:26:34.290
<v Speaker 5>a social group, you don't have a group that can

0:26:34.369 --> 0:26:38.080
<v Speaker 5>fight for its rights and against its discrimination. I said

0:26:38.130 --> 0:26:41.600
<v Speaker 5>earlier that we agree more on what is good looking

0:26:42.380 --> 0:26:46.790
<v Speaker 5>than we disagree in most cases. But there's still, there

0:26:46.830 --> 0:26:51.750
<v Speaker 5>will always be a sort of somewhat subjective part or

0:26:51.790 --> 0:26:56.040
<v Speaker 5>relative part when it comes to aesthetics. Such that when

0:26:56.060 --> 0:26:59.100
<v Speaker 5>you call somebody beautiful or ugly, there's always some kind

0:26:59.180 --> 0:27:05.800
<v Speaker 5>of untouchability or plausible deniability. This little wiggle room in

0:27:05.840 --> 0:27:10.379
<v Speaker 5>saying that I'm white. So there's no, but if we

0:27:10.400 --> 0:27:12.680
<v Speaker 5>were to start talking about my looks, about if I'm

0:27:12.740 --> 0:27:15.990
<v Speaker 5>ugly or if I'm handsome or whatever, you might get

0:27:16.770 --> 0:27:19.629
<v Speaker 5>mixed opinions. In fact, I do get mixed opinions on

0:27:19.670 --> 0:27:26.560
<v Speaker 5>my appearance. So that's something that makes legal protection also difficult.

0:27:32.420 --> 0:27:33.020
<v Speaker 6>That makes sense.

0:27:33.100 --> 0:27:35.520
<v Speaker 2>That was my big thing before, just sort of like

0:27:35.660 --> 0:27:36.960
<v Speaker 2>who's deciding who's ugly.

0:27:37.200 --> 0:27:37.500
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:27:38.000 --> 0:27:39.680
<v Speaker 4>And like you said, the people who are ugly ain't

0:27:39.700 --> 0:27:42.180
<v Speaker 4>going to be maybe necessarily raising their hands.

0:27:42.240 --> 0:27:45.419
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah. And be like, hey, I'm part of the

0:27:45.480 --> 0:27:46.340
<v Speaker 2>ugly group. Yeah.

0:27:46.440 --> 0:27:48.080
<v Speaker 6>And it's not like you can do a DNA test

0:27:48.320 --> 0:27:49.320
<v Speaker 6>or something. Right.

0:27:49.780 --> 0:27:54.740
<v Speaker 1>And we've socialized being ugly into such a taboo that

0:27:54.900 --> 0:27:59.800
<v Speaker 1>you'll never get large groups of ugly people together to

0:27:59.840 --> 0:28:02.419
<v Speaker 1>fight for their rights in the same way that black

0:28:02.460 --> 0:28:06.520
<v Speaker 1>people or disabled people or gay people have done the

0:28:06.560 --> 0:28:10.679
<v Speaker 1>same throughout the history of the United States. So it's

0:28:10.720 --> 0:28:15.080
<v Speaker 1>like you're just, there's a Barrier of entry and it

0:28:15.200 --> 0:28:17.720
<v Speaker 1>is like the willingness to raise your hand and be like,

0:28:18.180 --> 0:28:22.260
<v Speaker 1>I'm this way and I'm being discriminated against because of it.

0:28:22.500 --> 0:28:24.240
<v Speaker 2>I can see why it makes more sense.

0:28:24.790 --> 0:28:27.429
<v Speaker 4>It's harder to make it a protective class because I

0:28:27.450 --> 0:28:31.909
<v Speaker 4>could see one of instances where someone complains, hey, I

0:28:31.950 --> 0:28:34.310
<v Speaker 4>got fired from this job because my boss thinks I'm

0:28:34.369 --> 0:28:36.380
<v Speaker 4>ugly and you fight that in the court a lot.

0:28:36.520 --> 0:28:39.640
<v Speaker 4>But to have the momentum built that so it's such

0:28:39.660 --> 0:28:42.610
<v Speaker 4>a large group of people saying, Time and time again.

0:28:42.650 --> 0:28:44.910
<v Speaker 2>I'm being discriminated against. All of us.

0:28:45.230 --> 0:28:45.610
<v Speaker 5>Look at us.

0:28:45.690 --> 0:28:47.610
<v Speaker 2>Look how ugly we are. We are all ugly.

0:28:47.990 --> 0:28:52.760
<v Speaker 4>And we want the state, we want the law to

0:28:52.840 --> 0:28:53.800
<v Speaker 4>know that we are ugly.

0:28:54.500 --> 0:28:56.140
<v Speaker 2>And this is why we're being treated this way.

0:28:56.160 --> 0:28:57.560
<v Speaker 5>It's tough.

0:28:57.600 --> 0:29:00.430
<v Speaker 2>That's tough. Because then you got people out on the outside, hey,

0:29:00.470 --> 0:29:02.970
<v Speaker 2>you're not that ugly. You, hey, yeah, you belong in

0:29:02.990 --> 0:29:03.330
<v Speaker 2>that group.

0:29:03.450 --> 0:29:08.010
<v Speaker 1>You're my queen. Like, maybe you're not super attractive, but

0:29:08.370 --> 0:29:10.450
<v Speaker 1>I don't think you deserve these protections.

0:29:10.470 --> 0:29:11.340
<v Speaker 2>Not protections, right?

0:29:11.380 --> 0:29:12.390
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, come on.

0:29:12.410 --> 0:29:15.780
<v Speaker 2>Or, even worse, yeah, you deserve those protections, brother.

0:29:15.800 --> 0:29:16.040
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:29:16.780 --> 0:29:19.960
<v Speaker 6>Oh, so, yeah, like HR on board, and they're like, okay,

0:29:19.980 --> 0:29:21.480
<v Speaker 6>and I see we'll make sure you get, you know,

0:29:21.500 --> 0:29:23.120
<v Speaker 6>ugly lunch, and yeah.

0:29:23.780 --> 0:29:25.860
<v Speaker 1>Are you a veteran? Are you ugly? Are you checking

0:29:25.880 --> 0:29:27.260
<v Speaker 1>it on your job application? Yeah, yeah.

0:29:27.610 --> 0:29:30.950
<v Speaker 4>Hey, Manny, I noticed you forgot to check off the

0:29:31.260 --> 0:29:32.660
<v Speaker 4>ugly protection.

0:29:32.300 --> 0:29:33.460
<v Speaker 2>On your paperwork.

0:29:33.540 --> 0:29:35.920
<v Speaker 4>I want to make sure you get that checked off

0:29:35.940 --> 0:29:37.110
<v Speaker 4>so we can take care of you, all right?

0:29:37.970 --> 0:29:39.390
<v Speaker 6>We get some tax breaks and stuff, too.

0:29:40.710 --> 0:29:41.390
<v Speaker 1>Get a rebate.

0:29:43.490 --> 0:29:48.160
<v Speaker 6>And it is subjective in this way, too, where it's like, Yeah,

0:29:48.200 --> 0:29:50.860
<v Speaker 6>it's not all people of one group and it can

0:29:50.900 --> 0:29:51.540
<v Speaker 6>change too.

0:29:51.600 --> 0:29:51.900
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:29:52.100 --> 0:29:53.860
<v Speaker 6>You might have an ugly period and then they glow

0:29:53.940 --> 0:29:55.180
<v Speaker 6>up and then be ugly again.

0:29:55.220 --> 0:29:56.180
<v Speaker 2>That's a really good point.

0:29:56.200 --> 0:29:59.580
<v Speaker 1>You can change. So look, I think we do have

0:29:59.760 --> 0:30:04.050
<v Speaker 1>a real kind of problem, so to speak. The problem

0:30:04.090 --> 0:30:08.890
<v Speaker 1>being that less attractive people are definitely being discriminated against.

0:30:09.730 --> 0:30:13.830
<v Speaker 1>And yet it's really unfeasible to get any protections for

0:30:13.890 --> 0:30:18.390
<v Speaker 1>being discriminated against to that degree. And so my last

0:30:18.470 --> 0:30:21.790
<v Speaker 1>question for Thomas was like, if we can't protect it

0:30:21.850 --> 0:30:25.530
<v Speaker 1>at the end of that path, can we do some

0:30:25.570 --> 0:30:29.070
<v Speaker 1>protections at the beginning? Can we ever get rid of lookism?

0:30:32.170 --> 0:30:34.620
<v Speaker 5>I think the number one thing that we can do

0:30:34.940 --> 0:30:40.920
<v Speaker 5>is create awareness about these issues because many people still

0:30:41.850 --> 0:30:44.870
<v Speaker 5>are not aware how much of their life is determined

0:30:44.890 --> 0:30:48.270
<v Speaker 5>by their looks. So we like to think that we

0:30:48.410 --> 0:30:50.790
<v Speaker 5>are in charge of our destiny and if I just

0:30:50.870 --> 0:30:54.530
<v Speaker 5>try hard enough. But in the end, the reason why

0:30:54.550 --> 0:30:58.040
<v Speaker 5>you don't get your dream job or why you're single

0:30:58.920 --> 0:31:02.520
<v Speaker 5>or why you don't get promoted might just be because

0:31:02.600 --> 0:31:07.000
<v Speaker 5>your nose is crooked, because you weigh too much, because

0:31:07.040 --> 0:31:12.680
<v Speaker 5>you're too short. And I think it can be liberating

0:31:12.960 --> 0:31:16.580
<v Speaker 5>for some people to understand this about the world that

0:31:16.620 --> 0:31:19.960
<v Speaker 5>we live in. Of course, you can't always use this

0:31:20.110 --> 0:31:22.850
<v Speaker 5>as an excuse, but there's something that I call the

0:31:22.930 --> 0:31:26.970
<v Speaker 5>taboo of ugly. So, for example, it's fairly accepted to say,

0:31:26.990 --> 0:31:30.650
<v Speaker 5>you know, I can't find a job because of my race,

0:31:30.730 --> 0:31:33.550
<v Speaker 5>or I can't find a girlfriend because of my, I

0:31:33.570 --> 0:31:38.130
<v Speaker 5>don't know, women discriminate against my race. But it's when

0:31:38.210 --> 0:31:43.480
<v Speaker 5>somebody says, I face difficulties in life because I am ugly.

0:31:43.800 --> 0:31:46.460
<v Speaker 5>And there are just some ugly people in the world.

0:31:46.480 --> 0:31:49.850
<v Speaker 5>We have to accept that. What many people will then

0:31:49.960 --> 0:31:53.410
<v Speaker 5>say is, no, you're not ugly. We like to do

0:31:53.470 --> 0:31:57.890
<v Speaker 5>this weird social dance where we try to reassure people

0:31:58.550 --> 0:32:02.730
<v Speaker 5>that they are not ugly because it's kind of considered

0:32:02.750 --> 0:32:04.930
<v Speaker 5>to be the worst thing you can be. It's almost

0:32:04.970 --> 0:32:07.970
<v Speaker 5>like it's a slur almost that we use against people.

0:32:08.200 --> 0:32:11.880
<v Speaker 5>And then we create this weird, almost double bind against

0:32:12.010 --> 0:32:14.970
<v Speaker 5>people where, you know, if you grow up not good

0:32:15.030 --> 0:32:17.730
<v Speaker 5>looking and then into your adulthood, you know when you

0:32:17.790 --> 0:32:20.110
<v Speaker 5>are treated differently because of the way you look in

0:32:20.150 --> 0:32:23.130
<v Speaker 5>many cases. But then people always reassure you that this

0:32:23.190 --> 0:32:25.850
<v Speaker 5>can't be the case because actually you're not that bad

0:32:25.910 --> 0:32:29.760
<v Speaker 5>looking or whatever. And so people are trying to make

0:32:29.800 --> 0:32:35.060
<v Speaker 5>their grievances heard. but they can't be heard because basically

0:32:35.100 --> 0:32:38.989
<v Speaker 5>we're not really taking this topic seriously, or let's say

0:32:39.030 --> 0:32:41.670
<v Speaker 5>we're not able to confront it in a way that

0:32:41.750 --> 0:32:46.070
<v Speaker 5>we are able to confront discrimination in other areas, sexism

0:32:46.190 --> 0:32:49.090
<v Speaker 5>or racism. This talk about ugliness is kind of a

0:32:49.130 --> 0:32:52.940
<v Speaker 5>societal taboo. However, what I see with Gen Z and

0:32:52.980 --> 0:32:54.980
<v Speaker 5>Gen Alpha now, and if you look at the whole

0:32:55.100 --> 0:33:00.690
<v Speaker 5>looks-maxing movement, and these people like Clavicula and whatnot. Older

0:33:00.730 --> 0:33:03.280
<v Speaker 5>people like millennials and up tend to hate this and

0:33:03.300 --> 0:33:05.940
<v Speaker 5>tend to find it extremely shallow. And it is in

0:33:05.980 --> 0:33:09.520
<v Speaker 5>some sense. But what I find good about it is

0:33:09.560 --> 0:33:13.820
<v Speaker 5>that the younger generation is uncovering or is understanding better

0:33:14.260 --> 0:33:17.920
<v Speaker 5>that the game that we've always been playing is heavily

0:33:18.040 --> 0:33:21.100
<v Speaker 5>skewed in your favor if you are good looking. There's

0:33:21.200 --> 0:33:24.360
<v Speaker 5>an increasing awareness about this, which I think is positive.

0:33:25.080 --> 0:33:27.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so I thought it was interesting he's presenting a

0:33:27.590 --> 0:33:31.790
<v Speaker 1>dichotomy here where on one side someone's trying to say

0:33:31.930 --> 0:33:35.490
<v Speaker 1>hey i'm not as attractive and i'm being discriminated against

0:33:35.530 --> 0:33:39.510
<v Speaker 1>because of this our response is no no no you

0:33:39.530 --> 0:33:42.230
<v Speaker 1>look fine you look great and then on the other

0:33:42.270 --> 0:33:45.940
<v Speaker 1>hand someone like clavicular who is problematic for a million

0:33:45.960 --> 0:33:50.080
<v Speaker 1>different reasons is trying to be uh transparent about the

0:33:50.120 --> 0:33:53.890
<v Speaker 1>fact that you will be treated better if you look better. Obviously,

0:33:53.910 --> 0:33:55.970
<v Speaker 1>the way he goes about doing that is terrible. But

0:33:56.170 --> 0:33:59.219
<v Speaker 1>then we kind of get mad at people who are

0:33:59.280 --> 0:34:02.620
<v Speaker 1>trying to express that point as well. And so I

0:34:02.660 --> 0:34:05.080
<v Speaker 1>think Thomas is saying, you know, we really need to

0:34:05.140 --> 0:34:08.960
<v Speaker 1>just try to take people for their word when they

0:34:09.040 --> 0:34:13.040
<v Speaker 1>talk about being unattractive. Obviously, we have friends who will

0:34:13.120 --> 0:34:15.219
<v Speaker 1>say they feel ugly or whatever, and they're like really

0:34:15.260 --> 0:34:18.299
<v Speaker 1>good looking and it's annoying. But I think he's not

0:34:18.340 --> 0:34:20.090
<v Speaker 1>talking about that kind of instance.

0:34:20.120 --> 0:34:20.489
<v Speaker 6>No, no, no.

0:34:20.950 --> 0:34:22.270
<v Speaker 2>It is a knee-jerk reaction.

0:34:22.290 --> 0:34:22.990
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, of course.

0:34:23.170 --> 0:34:25.029
<v Speaker 6>Well, you want to comfort someone.

0:34:25.489 --> 0:34:30.130
<v Speaker 4>And sometimes people, hey, I've been guilty. Sometimes people need

0:34:30.150 --> 0:34:32.450
<v Speaker 4>to fish a little bit. Hey, damn, I don't look

0:34:32.469 --> 0:34:32.850
<v Speaker 4>good in this.

0:34:32.950 --> 0:34:33.970
<v Speaker 2>No, that looks good.

0:34:34.030 --> 0:34:35.210
<v Speaker 5>That looks nice.

0:34:36.160 --> 0:34:37.390
<v Speaker 2>There's a bit of that.

0:34:37.450 --> 0:34:41.160
<v Speaker 4>But it is, yeah, it's sort of like this gaslighting of, oh, no,

0:34:41.200 --> 0:34:43.660
<v Speaker 4>you're not ugly. And it's like, okay, I know that

0:34:43.739 --> 0:34:46.660
<v Speaker 4>everyone is treating me differently, but no one will acknowledge

0:34:46.719 --> 0:34:47.480
<v Speaker 4>it to my face.

0:34:48.070 --> 0:34:50.170
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, I feel like the better option is the one

0:34:50.190 --> 0:34:52.210
<v Speaker 6>where we try to check ourselves on that thing and

0:34:52.590 --> 0:34:55.230
<v Speaker 6>it's okay and not everyone should be expected to fix

0:34:55.270 --> 0:35:00.149
<v Speaker 6>themselves to society's standards. Hopefully we can be more accepting

0:35:00.640 --> 0:35:02.339
<v Speaker 6>and treat people equally and all that.

0:35:02.440 --> 0:35:02.900
<v Speaker 5>Exactly.

0:35:02.980 --> 0:35:05.440
<v Speaker 6>But, you know, obviously easier said than done.

0:35:05.640 --> 0:35:08.700
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, I thought that Thomas's main kind of prescription

0:35:08.719 --> 0:35:12.200
<v Speaker 1>here is for all of us to look deep within

0:35:12.239 --> 0:35:15.939
<v Speaker 1>ourselves and one, kind of just be cognizant of when

0:35:15.980 --> 0:35:18.779
<v Speaker 1>we're doing this to people, but also... not be so

0:35:18.860 --> 0:35:23.049
<v Speaker 1>dismissive when someone is sharing that they feel unattractive.

0:35:23.170 --> 0:35:23.590
<v Speaker 2>Exactly.

0:35:24.310 --> 0:35:27.910
<v Speaker 1>Because we feel like we have to comfort them instead

0:35:27.930 --> 0:35:30.730
<v Speaker 1>of saying, no, no, no, you're not ugly.

0:35:30.770 --> 0:35:32.170
<v Speaker 2>You look great. I don't know.

0:35:32.210 --> 0:35:33.890
<v Speaker 1>We might try to think of something else to say.

0:35:33.930 --> 0:35:36.779
<v Speaker 1>What is something our listeners could say to someone who's

0:35:37.120 --> 0:35:38.100
<v Speaker 1>approaching them like this?

0:35:38.140 --> 0:35:39.110
<v Speaker 6>I'm sorry that happened to you.

0:35:39.120 --> 0:35:40.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry you're feeling this way.

0:35:40.300 --> 0:35:44.080
<v Speaker 6>Yeah. No, but yeah, it'd be like, yeah, it'd be

0:35:44.120 --> 0:35:46.940
<v Speaker 6>more about just having a discussion and Probably away from

0:35:46.960 --> 0:35:48.570
<v Speaker 6>the actual physical aspects of it.

0:35:48.820 --> 0:35:49.640
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:35:50.000 --> 0:35:53.540
<v Speaker 6>More on the emotions, the interior sort of how is

0:35:53.560 --> 0:35:54.279
<v Speaker 6>this making you feel.

0:35:54.300 --> 0:35:55.360
<v Speaker 5>Right.

0:35:55.420 --> 0:35:57.730
<v Speaker 6>And maybe is there a way to confront this to

0:35:57.770 --> 0:35:59.509
<v Speaker 6>get the fair treatment, that sort of thing on a

0:35:59.550 --> 0:36:02.310
<v Speaker 6>small level since it's not going to be organized at scale.

0:36:03.050 --> 0:36:05.890
<v Speaker 1>Well, it's funny you should mention this, Noah, because after

0:36:05.910 --> 0:36:08.529
<v Speaker 1>the break, we're actually going to talk to someone who

0:36:08.710 --> 0:36:11.970
<v Speaker 1>thinks that they are ugly. And they use that word

0:36:12.010 --> 0:36:16.529
<v Speaker 1>very specifically. Her name is Stephanie Farrington. And she wrote

0:36:16.570 --> 0:36:19.980
<v Speaker 1>a book called Ugly, A Letter to My Daughter. And

0:36:20.060 --> 0:36:21.120
<v Speaker 1>after the break, we'll hear from her.

0:36:30.560 --> 0:36:31.860
<v Speaker 2>All right, we're back. I'm Manny.

0:36:32.200 --> 0:36:32.419
<v Speaker 5>Noah.

0:36:32.620 --> 0:36:32.920
<v Speaker 2>Devin.

0:36:33.380 --> 0:36:35.600
<v Speaker 1>And we're about to hear from the author of a

0:36:35.620 --> 0:36:38.640
<v Speaker 1>book titled Ugly, A Letter to My Daughter.

0:36:39.140 --> 0:36:42.370
<v Speaker 3>My name is Stephanie Farrington, and I'm a journalist here

0:36:42.410 --> 0:36:45.110
<v Speaker 3>in New York City. And my new book is called

0:36:45.600 --> 0:36:46.880
<v Speaker 3>Ugly a letter to my daughter.

0:36:47.280 --> 0:36:50.700
<v Speaker 1>So as I read some of the book, I noticed

0:36:50.719 --> 0:36:55.060
<v Speaker 1>that she is very particular about the word ugly. I'm

0:36:55.500 --> 0:37:00.450
<v Speaker 1>going to read a passage. I am an ugly woman.

0:37:01.239 --> 0:37:04.330
<v Speaker 1>I was an ugly child too. Not in a way

0:37:04.390 --> 0:37:08.730
<v Speaker 1>that would elicit mouth gaping stares. It's a perfectly normal face.

0:37:09.170 --> 0:37:12.009
<v Speaker 1>All of the parts sit in their proper place, but

0:37:12.050 --> 0:37:16.239
<v Speaker 1>it's bland. Offensively so. like a person who's given up

0:37:16.340 --> 0:37:19.680
<v Speaker 1>or doesn't try. My type of ugly is the most

0:37:19.940 --> 0:37:24.219
<v Speaker 1>off-putting kind, because it's not garish enough to entertain, like

0:37:24.280 --> 0:37:27.600
<v Speaker 1>Medusa with her snake hair. Instead, it looks like an

0:37:27.920 --> 0:37:32.400
<v Speaker 1>active and hostile repudiation of what I, as a woman,

0:37:32.739 --> 0:37:36.319
<v Speaker 1>am called upon daily to do, which is please the

0:37:36.340 --> 0:37:40.649
<v Speaker 1>gaze of others, especially men. A message that's already worked

0:37:40.690 --> 0:37:44.630
<v Speaker 1>its way through your young consciousness, like an insidious snake.

0:37:45.450 --> 0:37:48.570
<v Speaker 1>This is, I think, a slightly different version of the

0:37:48.610 --> 0:37:51.100
<v Speaker 1>word ugly than what we were discussing earlier. And so

0:37:51.120 --> 0:37:52.940
<v Speaker 1>I just wanted to ask her, like, you know, where

0:37:52.980 --> 0:37:55.380
<v Speaker 1>is this idea of ugly coming from and why does

0:37:55.400 --> 0:37:58.640
<v Speaker 1>she want to use that word specifically considering, you know,

0:37:58.800 --> 0:38:00.920
<v Speaker 1>in her own words, she's just kind of bland and

0:38:00.980 --> 0:38:02.700
<v Speaker 1>not garishly ugly.

0:38:03.580 --> 0:38:07.759
<v Speaker 3>Ugly is a word with fangs. And I think it's

0:38:07.800 --> 0:38:11.200
<v Speaker 3>kind of the fate that every woman is trying to avoid.

0:38:11.219 --> 0:38:16.010
<v Speaker 3>And I kind of didn't want the book, it's addressed

0:38:16.030 --> 0:38:18.049
<v Speaker 3>to my daughter, and I wanted it to have that

0:38:18.110 --> 0:38:23.170
<v Speaker 3>kind of brutality, a kind of rawness and ugly in

0:38:23.210 --> 0:38:26.799
<v Speaker 3>the extreme vulnerability it captures. And in many ways, the

0:38:26.820 --> 0:38:31.739
<v Speaker 3>book is like this really queer, angry, feminist screed, you know,

0:38:31.820 --> 0:38:34.880
<v Speaker 3>down with the patriarchy kind of book. I think in

0:38:34.900 --> 0:38:37.900
<v Speaker 3>the end, what's ugly are the systems of meaning that

0:38:38.000 --> 0:38:42.000
<v Speaker 3>create the feeling of ugliness in us and not individual people.

0:38:42.600 --> 0:38:45.319
<v Speaker 1>So, you know, you've heard many times like people you

0:38:45.360 --> 0:38:48.110
<v Speaker 1>know who are not ugly who feel ugly. And I

0:38:48.120 --> 0:38:50.049
<v Speaker 1>think that's the kind of ugliness that she's talking about

0:38:50.070 --> 0:38:52.500
<v Speaker 1>because she feels like she had. Growing up, at least,

0:38:52.660 --> 0:38:57.030
<v Speaker 1>this very specific duty to be physically attractive and appealing

0:38:57.090 --> 0:39:00.930
<v Speaker 1>to men or, in her case, women. But wasn't living

0:39:00.989 --> 0:39:02.410
<v Speaker 1>up to that. And that was like a version of

0:39:02.469 --> 0:39:04.730
<v Speaker 1>ugliness for herself that she feels like she wants to

0:39:05.170 --> 0:39:06.270
<v Speaker 1>teach her daughter about.

0:39:06.750 --> 0:39:09.270
<v Speaker 4>I think an obvious thing that we did not talk

0:39:09.310 --> 0:39:12.800
<v Speaker 4>about in the open is just sort of expectations.

0:39:13.000 --> 0:39:13.200
<v Speaker 3>Right.

0:39:13.260 --> 0:39:13.420
<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

0:39:14.180 --> 0:39:18.219
<v Speaker 4>Three men sitting around being like, oh, yeah, you know,

0:39:18.239 --> 0:39:20.870
<v Speaker 4>what is ugly? I think there are very different expectations

0:39:20.930 --> 0:39:24.730
<v Speaker 4>for guys in terms of presentation and what is expected

0:39:24.810 --> 0:39:26.790
<v Speaker 4>of us and pressures.

0:39:28.230 --> 0:39:34.630
<v Speaker 2>Than there are for women, obviously. and I think there is.

0:39:34.680 --> 0:39:35.050
<v Speaker 6>It's true.

0:39:35.070 --> 0:39:37.960
<v Speaker 1>Like, think about, like, in Hollywood, like, which guys get

0:39:37.980 --> 0:39:39.120
<v Speaker 1>to be with which women.

0:39:39.140 --> 0:39:40.580
<v Speaker 2>You know, Kevin James is dating.

0:39:40.640 --> 0:39:42.540
<v Speaker 1>All due respect to my goat, Kevin James.

0:39:42.600 --> 0:39:44.680
<v Speaker 2>The hottest woman you've ever seen in your life.

0:39:44.980 --> 0:39:47.900
<v Speaker 4>And in the eyes of the audience, we're supposed to

0:39:47.940 --> 0:39:51.360
<v Speaker 4>view them as being equal levels of hotness. So there is,

0:39:51.380 --> 0:39:54.450
<v Speaker 4>I think, that added pressure does add, you know, a

0:39:54.489 --> 0:39:57.549
<v Speaker 4>layer of complexity that, you know, maybe we don't get from.

0:39:58.030 --> 0:40:00.450
<v Speaker 4>three guys talking about it. So thank you for doing

0:40:00.489 --> 0:40:01.239
<v Speaker 4>so many.

0:40:02.620 --> 0:40:05.400
<v Speaker 1>I was thinking about ugliness before I talked to Stephanie,

0:40:05.560 --> 0:40:08.980
<v Speaker 1>like in a vacuum almost, like some kind of like fair,

0:40:09.100 --> 0:40:12.180
<v Speaker 1>unbiased way to determine if someone's ugly and attractive, but

0:40:12.590 --> 0:40:16.050
<v Speaker 1>wasn't necessarily thinking about the kind of layers of pressure

0:40:16.090 --> 0:40:19.950
<v Speaker 1>certain people have to be anti-ugly, I guess I'll say,

0:40:19.989 --> 0:40:22.609
<v Speaker 1>instead of being attractive. Like even if you are kind

0:40:22.650 --> 0:40:25.520
<v Speaker 1>of bland, there's a lot of pressure for you to

0:40:25.960 --> 0:40:29.450
<v Speaker 1>look as good as possible. And that's not necessarily untrue

0:40:29.510 --> 0:40:32.980
<v Speaker 1>for men as well, but probably way more of a

0:40:33.080 --> 0:40:34.580
<v Speaker 1>factor in women's lives.

0:40:35.060 --> 0:40:35.359
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah.

0:40:35.840 --> 0:40:38.420
<v Speaker 4>You know, it certainly exists to some degree for men,

0:40:38.480 --> 0:40:41.239
<v Speaker 4>but not nearly to the level that it does for women.

0:40:41.280 --> 0:40:43.359
<v Speaker 4>But you know, I don't want to speak for you too,

0:40:43.420 --> 0:40:45.080
<v Speaker 4>but I have days where I'm like, oh, this is,

0:40:45.140 --> 0:40:45.680
<v Speaker 4>it's kind of.

0:40:45.660 --> 0:40:46.160
<v Speaker 5>An ugly day.

0:40:46.180 --> 0:40:47.839
<v Speaker 2>You look at yourself in the mirror and you're like, oh,

0:40:48.300 --> 0:40:49.299
<v Speaker 2>not looking so good today.

0:40:49.340 --> 0:40:51.640
<v Speaker 4>And then there's days where I'm like, damn, I look good.

0:40:51.680 --> 0:40:55.120
<v Speaker 2>You know, like, and there's like, nothing actually is changing.

0:40:55.600 --> 0:40:56.739
<v Speaker 2>between those two days, right?

0:40:56.760 --> 0:40:59.710
<v Speaker 4>You're looking at the same person, but so much of this,

0:40:59.770 --> 0:41:01.669
<v Speaker 4>and I guess, you know, she talks a bit about

0:41:01.710 --> 0:41:05.870
<v Speaker 4>this in her book, is how we perceive ourselves. And

0:41:05.969 --> 0:41:11.299
<v Speaker 4>obviously that can be impacted by the messages we get

0:41:11.320 --> 0:41:11.960
<v Speaker 4>from other people.

0:41:12.760 --> 0:41:15.660
<v Speaker 1>Let's hear a little bit more about her experience growing up,

0:41:15.719 --> 0:41:18.740
<v Speaker 1>but also her daughter's experience, her young daughter.

0:41:18.760 --> 0:41:22.300
<v Speaker 3>I have this one scene in the book where she

0:41:22.560 --> 0:41:23.790
<v Speaker 3>looks in the mirror at.

0:41:23.840 --> 0:41:24.589
<v Speaker 1>Six years old.

0:41:25.580 --> 0:41:27.600
<v Speaker 3>And puts on like this denim jacket.

0:41:27.620 --> 0:41:28.819
<v Speaker 1>It was a little oversized.

0:41:28.880 --> 0:41:31.520
<v Speaker 3>And she said, this makes me look big. And she

0:41:31.580 --> 0:41:34.520
<v Speaker 3>takes it off and puts it down. And I think like,

0:41:34.739 --> 0:41:40.410
<v Speaker 3>you know, thinness is still associated with femininity. Being small,

0:41:40.469 --> 0:41:43.170
<v Speaker 3>being little, being dainty is still like part of a

0:41:43.570 --> 0:41:47.930
<v Speaker 3>core facet of femininity and beauty. There's a lot of

0:41:48.010 --> 0:41:50.910
<v Speaker 3>size shaming kind of stuff. And I think it's just

0:41:51.310 --> 0:41:53.969
<v Speaker 3>like when you're a pretty girl, it becomes like this

0:41:54.030 --> 0:41:57.480
<v Speaker 3>very dizzying loop that you can get kind of lost

0:41:57.580 --> 0:42:00.080
<v Speaker 3>in because people say you're pretty, oh, you're pretty, you're pretty.

0:42:00.400 --> 0:42:02.800
<v Speaker 3>And then you start trying to play to people's gaze.

0:42:03.340 --> 0:42:05.200
<v Speaker 3>And you can kind of, I think women get lost

0:42:05.260 --> 0:42:07.880
<v Speaker 3>in that a lot of times because it's such a

0:42:08.660 --> 0:42:11.859
<v Speaker 3>big value in our culture still for women to be

0:42:11.960 --> 0:42:12.940
<v Speaker 3>aesthetically pleasing.

0:42:13.630 --> 0:42:17.200
<v Speaker 1>So that was Stephanie talking about her daughter's experience as

0:42:17.239 --> 0:42:19.480
<v Speaker 1>a child, but she also went on to talk about

0:42:20.060 --> 0:42:22.810
<v Speaker 1>her own childhood. My mom was very pretty.

0:42:22.910 --> 0:42:26.070
<v Speaker 3>She was like prom queen or runner up for prom queen.

0:42:26.110 --> 0:42:28.360
<v Speaker 3>She was this is the 60s, but she was voted

0:42:28.380 --> 0:42:33.620
<v Speaker 3>like 30. Best figure, best sense of humor, biggest flirt.

0:42:34.260 --> 0:42:37.260
<v Speaker 3>She dated all the popular boys and was like a partier.

0:42:37.340 --> 0:42:39.930
<v Speaker 3>And we were just very different. And people, when I

0:42:39.969 --> 0:42:42.190
<v Speaker 3>would be introduced to her as a child, people would

0:42:42.210 --> 0:42:45.029
<v Speaker 3>kind of do double takes. Or I just felt like

0:42:45.070 --> 0:42:48.680
<v Speaker 3>a contempt coming from people because it was like... I

0:42:48.760 --> 0:42:51.740
<v Speaker 3>wasn't measuring up to what they thought that woman would create,

0:42:52.100 --> 0:42:55.279
<v Speaker 3>you know, like that. And I have a scene in

0:42:55.300 --> 0:42:58.719
<v Speaker 3>the book where a mom in a minivan in the

0:42:58.739 --> 0:43:02.040
<v Speaker 3>80s comes on our street, rolls down our window and says,

0:43:02.100 --> 0:43:06.430
<v Speaker 3>who's that? And one of the moms says, that's Chris-I's daughter.

0:43:06.450 --> 0:43:09.910
<v Speaker 3>And she says, that's Chris-I's daughter? Like, just like a

0:43:09.969 --> 0:43:15.030
<v Speaker 3>really contemptuous, voice and look in her face. So my

0:43:15.090 --> 0:43:17.529
<v Speaker 3>experience was very different. And I was queer, you know,

0:43:17.590 --> 0:43:21.710
<v Speaker 3>like I wasn't gender aligned, you know, aligned with traditional

0:43:21.750 --> 0:43:27.730
<v Speaker 3>gender expressions. I wasn't, I definitely was queer. I liked girls.

0:43:27.770 --> 0:43:29.879
<v Speaker 3>I didn't like boys. There's a lot of stuff going

0:43:29.980 --> 0:43:34.360
<v Speaker 3>on to create an inner feeling of ugliness, exteriorly and interior.

0:43:34.380 --> 0:43:36.680
<v Speaker 1>It's kind of insane. Like in the 60s, one of

0:43:36.700 --> 0:43:40.000
<v Speaker 1>the like high school superlatives was best figure.

0:43:40.020 --> 0:43:41.410
<v Speaker 6>It's insane.

0:43:42.710 --> 0:43:44.950
<v Speaker 1>We had like best smile at my high school.

0:43:45.250 --> 0:43:46.450
<v Speaker 2>Nice. We had best eyes.

0:43:46.469 --> 0:43:50.290
<v Speaker 1>We were like, who's got the most Coca-Cola silhouette, Coca-Cola

0:43:50.310 --> 0:43:54.160
<v Speaker 1>bottle silhouette. But before we wrap up today, I want

0:43:54.219 --> 0:43:58.339
<v Speaker 1>to return to Stephanie here because in the midst of

0:43:58.960 --> 0:44:02.759
<v Speaker 1>all of the ways that lookism presents itself in our

0:44:02.840 --> 0:44:04.910
<v Speaker 1>lives and all the ways we've been talking about it

0:44:05.190 --> 0:44:08.610
<v Speaker 1>during this episode, Stephanie has gone through the trouble of

0:44:08.790 --> 0:44:13.730
<v Speaker 1>writing this book slash letter to her daughter about how

0:44:13.790 --> 0:44:16.560
<v Speaker 1>to avoid it, about how to overcome a lot of it.

0:44:16.860 --> 0:44:19.440
<v Speaker 1>And so I wanted to end this episode by just

0:44:19.739 --> 0:44:23.560
<v Speaker 1>asking Stephanie what she hopes readers of her book and

0:44:23.640 --> 0:44:27.960
<v Speaker 1>listeners of our show take away from her ideas.

0:44:34.880 --> 0:44:38.160
<v Speaker 3>I think the idea of the entire book is to

0:44:38.280 --> 0:44:44.549
<v Speaker 3>create space or distance between readers and the toxic ideas

0:44:45.120 --> 0:44:49.110
<v Speaker 3>of our culture to give them room to think against

0:44:49.450 --> 0:44:54.029
<v Speaker 3>or beyond their conditioning and to make the strings kind

0:44:54.050 --> 0:44:58.310
<v Speaker 3>of puppeteering their behavior manifest so that they can pull

0:44:58.350 --> 0:45:01.020
<v Speaker 3>those strings in the direction that they'd like. So in

0:45:01.060 --> 0:45:04.399
<v Speaker 3>that vein, I set out to encourage people to resist, challenge,

0:45:04.840 --> 0:45:07.520
<v Speaker 3>you know, manipulate, have fun with, poke fun at the

0:45:07.560 --> 0:45:11.400
<v Speaker 3>status quo rather than feel compelled to submit to it

0:45:11.440 --> 0:45:13.990
<v Speaker 3>or live up to it. And to look for kind

0:45:14.030 --> 0:45:17.969
<v Speaker 3>of like an uncommon piece living against or beyond traditional

0:45:18.489 --> 0:45:21.500
<v Speaker 3>systems of meaning, you know. which is kind of a

0:45:21.540 --> 0:45:24.779
<v Speaker 3>spiritual project if you're not aware of how the culture

0:45:24.800 --> 0:45:28.569
<v Speaker 3>is manipulating you you can't resist it so it's about

0:45:28.630 --> 0:45:31.390
<v Speaker 3>creating awareness and through the whole book I'm trying to

0:45:31.489 --> 0:45:35.950
<v Speaker 3>unravel gender sexuality race so that by the time you

0:45:35.969 --> 0:45:37.620
<v Speaker 3>get to the end of the book there really is

0:45:37.719 --> 0:45:40.319
<v Speaker 3>space between you and those those ideas that are like

0:45:40.560 --> 0:45:43.520
<v Speaker 3>calcified heavy knots that live in us and weigh us.

0:45:43.440 --> 0:46:04.980
<v Speaker 1>Down No Such Thing is a production of Kaleidoscope Content

0:46:05.180 --> 0:46:08.920
<v Speaker 1>and is executive produced by Mangesh Hatikadur. The show was

0:46:08.960 --> 0:46:12.420
<v Speaker 1>created by Manny Fidel, Noah Friedman, and Devin Joseph, and

0:46:12.440 --> 0:46:16.140
<v Speaker 1>the theme song was produced by me, Manny. Special thanks

0:46:16.200 --> 0:46:21.180
<v Speaker 1>to our guests, Thomas Spiegel from the Miyazaki International University

0:46:21.300 --> 0:46:26.270
<v Speaker 1>in Tokyo, Japan, and Stephanie Farrington, author of Ugly, A

0:46:26.330 --> 0:46:29.710
<v Speaker 1>Letter to My Daughter. As always, please leave a five-star

0:46:29.750 --> 0:46:33.370
<v Speaker 1>review if you enjoy our show. And in the show notes,

0:46:33.390 --> 0:46:35.810
<v Speaker 1>you can find a phone number where you can call

0:46:35.890 --> 0:46:37.810
<v Speaker 1>us and ask us questions that.

0:46:37.710 --> 0:46:39.950
<v Speaker 2>We may answer in episodes.

0:46:40.250 --> 0:46:43.110
<v Speaker 1>There you will also find our sub stack where you

0:46:43.130 --> 0:46:47.890
<v Speaker 1>can find extra information about each episode. See you next week.