WEBVTT - Chapter 19: Birch & Pine 0:00:00.360 --> 0:00:03.680 Bridgewater is a production of iHeartRadio three D Audio and 0:00:03.720 --> 0:00:06.920 Grim and Mild from Aaron Mankey For a full exposure 0:00:07.080 --> 0:00:14.120 listen with headphones. Listener discretion advised, Shelley. 0:00:14.440 --> 0:00:17.800 I Nope, not ready to talk to you yet. So 0:00:18.040 --> 0:00:20.919 I look, I understand that you guys need a place 0:00:20.960 --> 0:00:24.440 to stay for god knows what reason, But I Nana's. 0:00:24.079 --> 0:00:24.880 House is haunted. 0:00:25.280 --> 0:00:26.000 Uh huh wow. 0:00:26.320 --> 0:00:29.760 Just because we're under one roof, it does not mean 0:00:29.960 --> 0:00:34.000 we're a family. Jeremy, You're welcome here, you always have been. 0:00:35.000 --> 0:00:39.479 Unless did you know that that you know he was 0:00:40.320 --> 0:00:40.760 my father? 0:00:41.680 --> 0:00:45.960 No, I'm I'm I found out, uh last week or 0:00:45.960 --> 0:00:48.280 I guess I guess I sort of figured it out. 0:00:49.080 --> 0:00:51.960 You would have told me, though, right like if live hadn't, 0:00:52.320 --> 0:00:54.200 because god knows, my own mother didn't seem to be 0:00:54.240 --> 0:00:54.720 in a hurry. 0:00:55.480 --> 0:00:57.600 I I don't know. 0:00:57.680 --> 0:00:59.400 I was still trying to adjust to the idea of 0:00:59.440 --> 0:01:02.160 having a family that I didn't know about, and then 0:01:02.520 --> 0:01:04.440 my dead father came back and. 0:01:05.520 --> 0:01:09.039 Right right, I'm sorry, It's just this is probably very 0:01:09.040 --> 0:01:10.399 weird for you too. 0:01:11.600 --> 0:01:14.399 Yeah, I know, it's going to take some time to. 0:01:15.319 --> 0:01:16.240 Not talking to you. 0:01:16.440 --> 0:01:24.240 Remember, Oh Jesus Godmother, how could you have never told 0:01:24.280 --> 0:01:27.000 me it wasn't just my decision, Nancy Bradshaw. 0:01:27.120 --> 0:01:29.440 I agreed that we didn't want to cause a chaos 0:01:29.440 --> 0:01:30.360 in your Bradshaw. 0:01:30.600 --> 0:01:34.360 Okay, you both knew that we were going to know 0:01:34.440 --> 0:01:34.720 each other. 0:01:34.760 --> 0:01:36.280 We were going to the same school. 0:01:36.800 --> 0:01:38.840 Honey, How was I supposed to know that you were 0:01:38.880 --> 0:01:40.720 going to skip a grade by the time you were 0:01:40.760 --> 0:01:41.640 in the same high school? 0:01:41.640 --> 0:01:42.200 It was too late? 0:01:42.240 --> 0:01:43.199 Oh it's my fault. 0:01:43.319 --> 0:01:47.040 Great, But now when I am forty with two kids 0:01:47.080 --> 0:01:49.520 who have grown up without their uncle, now is just 0:01:49.680 --> 0:01:51.960 the perfect time. 0:01:53.280 --> 0:01:56.840 I think that we can all agree that this situation 0:01:57.080 --> 0:02:01.600 is less than ideal, but it's situation that we have, 0:02:02.400 --> 0:02:03.080 and I think. 0:02:02.960 --> 0:02:05.880 We're pretty goddamn lucky to be in this situation at all. 0:02:06.560 --> 0:02:09.280 Dad, I think you're right. I mean, there really is 0:02:09.320 --> 0:02:10.600 nothing we can do about the past. 0:02:11.800 --> 0:02:12.160 Dad. 0:02:13.240 --> 0:02:16.240 Well, Jeremy had you as a father at least for 0:02:16.280 --> 0:02:19.760 a little bit. And so what is it I'm supposed 0:02:19.800 --> 0:02:20.960 to call you? 0:02:20.960 --> 0:02:22.600 You can call me whatever you want. 0:02:22.919 --> 0:02:28.960 I know I don't get to ask for more. 0:02:27.680 --> 0:03:03.920 All right? Anyone want to order a pizza? 0:03:05.919 --> 0:03:10.519 Ah? Yeah, ha ha ha. Can you just be honest 0:03:10.520 --> 0:03:12.360 with me? Was that the worst lecture I've ever given. 0:03:13.080 --> 0:03:15.799 No, I thought it was fine. 0:03:16.040 --> 0:03:17.400 Why are you sugarcoating it for me? 0:03:17.840 --> 0:03:20.160 Can you have to remember your worst is still better 0:03:20.200 --> 0:03:22.400 than half of the professor's here a ha. 0:03:23.720 --> 0:03:26.280 So you just admitted it it was my worst. 0:03:26.680 --> 0:03:28.160 Jeremy A. 0:03:30.080 --> 0:03:34.680 This all just feels so futile, to say the least. 0:03:35.200 --> 0:03:36.920 Well, I think you can be forgiven for having a 0:03:36.960 --> 0:03:39.560 hard time focusing on telling a bunch of teenagers about 0:03:39.600 --> 0:03:42.640 the cultural reasoning behind the creation of the Dover Demon 0:03:42.720 --> 0:03:45.800 myth when you now know there's a pretty good chance 0:03:45.840 --> 0:03:48.120 that the Dover Demon isn't a myth at all, but 0:03:48.240 --> 0:03:51.760 an actual demon who might actually be out there attacking people. 0:03:52.560 --> 0:03:54.520 Oh my god, I don't think the Dover Demon is 0:03:54.520 --> 0:03:56.760 actually big enough though, to have left a handprint on 0:03:56.840 --> 0:04:00.880 that hand. You know, yes, I know, I know. How 0:04:00.920 --> 0:04:04.960 are you feeling about everything? We haven't really had a 0:04:05.040 --> 0:04:07.640 chance to talk about anything since. 0:04:09.200 --> 0:04:12.880 I'm okay, I guess the only thing is getting my 0:04:13.000 --> 0:04:17.160 degree now suddenly feels way less important, but not unimportant 0:04:17.240 --> 0:04:20.120 enough to just stop doing my work. 0:04:20.960 --> 0:04:22.960 Well for what it's worth. 0:04:23.040 --> 0:04:27.120 I'm really grateful for that, because I am barely keeping 0:04:27.160 --> 0:04:28.640 the curriculum together as it is. 0:04:28.680 --> 0:04:30.800 I definitely would not be able to do this without you. 0:04:30.880 --> 0:04:33.000 Right now, I just feel like if each of us 0:04:33.040 --> 0:04:35.480 is giving half of our all, that adds up to 0:04:35.520 --> 0:04:37.039 something like one hundred. 0:04:37.240 --> 0:04:41.360 Right, it's very inspiring. 0:04:42.640 --> 0:04:44.839 I guess I should I should feel lucky that at 0:04:44.920 --> 0:04:48.120 least my work is related. I can pretend that grading 0:04:48.120 --> 0:04:50.200 papers is going to give some sort of clue about 0:04:50.240 --> 0:04:51.960 what kind of monsters we're dealing with. 0:04:52.839 --> 0:04:54.320 Well, any luck, so far. 0:04:55.120 --> 0:04:57.960 Between everything we've encountered and the sightings I've been tracking 0:04:57.960 --> 0:05:01.279 from the seekers, activity is definitely kicking up. 0:05:01.800 --> 0:05:03.160 Are the secret sightings? 0:05:03.480 --> 0:05:03.560 Are? 0:05:03.720 --> 0:05:05.480 Are they the same kind that we've been encountering? 0:05:05.680 --> 0:05:08.800 Well, there's some overlap. So we know for certain that 0:05:08.839 --> 0:05:11.279 there's a giant black dog and a giant ape like 0:05:11.360 --> 0:05:15.440 bear man your hawk Amack howler hold for applause. That 0:05:15.640 --> 0:05:18.039 might be the same something with large claws and a 0:05:18.080 --> 0:05:21.719 single row of teeth that eats cow lungs and attacks campers, 0:05:21.920 --> 0:05:25.839 and that thing might also have small front paws, or 0:05:26.120 --> 0:05:30.400 you know, there's just some foxes and hawkamock right, and 0:05:30.480 --> 0:05:32.880 the seekers have heard reports of voices in both the 0:05:32.920 --> 0:05:35.559 swamp and free down more than usual, and a bunch 0:05:35.560 --> 0:05:38.960 of alleged encounters with everything from werewolves to aliens to 0:05:39.080 --> 0:05:40.400 Mothman and gold Man. 0:05:40.839 --> 0:05:44.159 Okay, so it's basically the greatest hits. Yeah. Are you 0:05:44.200 --> 0:05:44.880 getting any. 0:05:44.720 --> 0:05:48.040 Sense of how many of them might actually be reliable? 0:05:48.600 --> 0:05:51.200 Well, the Mothman and alien ones intrigue me the most, 0:05:51.279 --> 0:05:54.120 although there's also something to be said for the werewolve sidings. 0:05:54.160 --> 0:05:55.240 We don't get a ton of those. 0:05:55.960 --> 0:05:58.599 Is it weird that despite everything all of this, like 0:05:59.000 --> 0:06:03.839 the legends like were wolves and vampires, those just still 0:06:03.920 --> 0:06:06.039 seem far fetched to me for some reason. 0:06:06.400 --> 0:06:08.520 No, No, I think I get that. I mean, we 0:06:08.560 --> 0:06:10.920 don't really know the bounds of all of this yet, right, 0:06:11.000 --> 0:06:14.120 but both were wolves and vampires are so tied into 0:06:14.160 --> 0:06:18.480 the human world, actual people being transformed into something else, 0:06:18.520 --> 0:06:21.120 and we haven't seen any evidence of that yet, So. 0:06:21.520 --> 0:06:24.400 Right, right, right, You know, I think it's eminently possible 0:06:24.400 --> 0:06:29.679 that those those legends they're coming from some actual supernatural sources, 0:06:29.680 --> 0:06:32.279 but there's a misunderstanding of them, like creatures from the 0:06:32.279 --> 0:06:36.040 Fay realm that are human enough, and then it seems 0:06:36.080 --> 0:06:38.000 like they're from our world or something like that. I 0:06:38.000 --> 0:06:39.200 don't know, it's like, that's. 0:06:39.040 --> 0:06:41.760 What I was thinking about the werewolves. We know there's 0:06:41.760 --> 0:06:45.040 some kind of canine creature and something bipedal. 0:06:44.720 --> 0:06:46.599 Right, and the mothman and the alien sightings. 0:06:47.440 --> 0:06:51.000 The alien sightings are almost certainly puck wedgies or willow 0:06:51.000 --> 0:06:54.159 wisps or something like that, right, right, And then the mothman, 0:06:54.200 --> 0:06:56.560 I mean he's large and he has wings, which is 0:06:56.640 --> 0:06:57.839 like the thunderbird. 0:06:57.960 --> 0:06:59.920 Right. But I was also thinking what about this of 0:07:00.120 --> 0:07:04.000 maybe it's the Jersey Devil. Right, thunderbirds have wings and claws, 0:07:04.040 --> 0:07:06.480 but the Jersey Devil has wings, claws, and teeth. 0:07:06.920 --> 0:07:08.880 You think that that might be the thing that killed 0:07:08.880 --> 0:07:12.560 the camper, but it would have smaller arms. 0:07:12.800 --> 0:07:14.240 Or something like it. 0:07:14.480 --> 0:07:16.920 I know this is in New Jersey, but nothing to say. 0:07:16.920 --> 0:07:19.080 The monsters don't move around though, right. 0:07:18.960 --> 0:07:23.440 And maybe the gates do too. I was thinking about 0:07:23.440 --> 0:07:26.240 the legend of the Jersey Devil. How supposedly Jane Leeds 0:07:26.280 --> 0:07:28.760 had twelve children and then poof. 0:07:28.480 --> 0:07:30.840 Right right, right right, and then her thirteenth transformed into 0:07:30.880 --> 0:07:31.320 a monster. 0:07:31.680 --> 0:07:35.440 We think that the Leeds family actually did have twelve children, 0:07:35.440 --> 0:07:38.240 and I always thought that maybe they did have a thirteenth, 0:07:38.240 --> 0:07:41.000 but they died or were still born, and that's where 0:07:41.040 --> 0:07:46.000 the legend comes from. But what if the thirteenth child 0:07:46.560 --> 0:07:49.160 was given over to the fay Realm. 0:07:49.520 --> 0:07:52.000 Oh, my god, like a sacrifice after the pay Realm 0:07:52.080 --> 0:07:54.400 sent a creature to terrorize the town, a. 0:07:54.320 --> 0:07:57.440 Wy burn or a griffin or some kind of winged 0:07:57.480 --> 0:08:00.840 creature that then got transformed into a local myth that 0:08:01.000 --> 0:08:02.760 casts Mother Leads as a witch. 0:08:03.480 --> 0:08:05.600 That's a very interesting thought, right. 0:08:06.360 --> 0:08:10.120 I realized that really this doesn't help us now. 0:08:10.320 --> 0:08:13.160 But no, no, no, no, it's good. It's good to 0:08:13.200 --> 0:08:17.120 be thinking about this stuff. From everything, I was gonna say, 0:08:17.160 --> 0:08:19.400 it helps to be as prepared as possible in case 0:08:19.400 --> 0:08:20.680 we run into whatever's out. 0:08:20.560 --> 0:08:23.520 There, But that the problem is, there's really. 0:08:26.040 --> 0:08:28.400 There's no way to be prepared for any of this, 0:08:28.560 --> 0:08:30.760 is there, truly? 0:08:32.280 --> 0:08:35.480 I got breakfast with Peyton this morning. 0:08:36.960 --> 0:08:38.679 What Yeah, I. 0:08:38.640 --> 0:08:40.800 Wanted to follow up with her on the room. You 0:08:40.840 --> 0:08:43.640 saw her carve try to understand exactly how they work. 0:08:44.720 --> 0:08:51.160 And it's magic, obviously, but it doesn't seem like complicated magic, 0:08:51.360 --> 0:08:54.000 or at least a complicated bit was already been done 0:08:54.040 --> 0:08:57.640 by the Gathering through the years. Apparently there's all kinds 0:08:57.679 --> 0:09:02.120 of runs throughout the Bridgewater Triangle that have been keeping 0:09:02.200 --> 0:09:04.120 things fenced in. 0:09:04.920 --> 0:09:06.880 I don't know how well they're working. 0:09:07.440 --> 0:09:11.000 Well, it seems like the gate doesn't actually have a 0:09:11.040 --> 0:09:12.520 fixed point. 0:09:12.720 --> 0:09:15.120 So you are actually serious about the gates moving around? 0:09:15.240 --> 0:09:16.760 Well, I don't know if one could hop from New 0:09:16.800 --> 0:09:20.240 Jersey to Massachusetts, but I guess it's shuffled around to 0:09:20.320 --> 0:09:23.200 different spots in the triangle, which is why the ruins 0:09:23.200 --> 0:09:24.400 haven't been all that effective. 0:09:24.679 --> 0:09:27.320 And then Peyton said that she can keep things out, 0:09:27.720 --> 0:09:28.960 but she can't keep things. 0:09:28.760 --> 0:09:32.320 In right exactly, So I was thinking, what if we 0:09:32.440 --> 0:09:36.600 created a kind of border around Freetown Forest. I know 0:09:36.640 --> 0:09:38.760 the gate might not still be over the lake, but 0:09:39.160 --> 0:09:41.800 if we can make the whole area around the lake 0:09:41.920 --> 0:09:43.920 impossible to pass through, then. 0:09:43.880 --> 0:09:46.199 And for all intents and purposes, the creatures would be. 0:09:46.240 --> 0:09:48.720 Kept in, yes, at least until the gate moves. 0:09:49.320 --> 0:09:52.160 Well, I think that's worth a shot. At least it 0:09:52.200 --> 0:09:54.760 could buy us some time. Did Peyton seem up with 0:09:54.840 --> 0:09:55.240 that idea? 0:09:55.760 --> 0:09:59.240 Yeah, she drew out the ruins for me. I was 0:09:59.280 --> 0:10:02.120 actually hoping you'd go to the forest with me and 0:10:02.360 --> 0:10:03.600 start carving them in. 0:10:04.720 --> 0:10:07.520 Please. Why doesn't she want to do it herself? 0:10:08.000 --> 0:10:11.199 She said she's needed in the swamp today. 0:10:12.440 --> 0:10:18.920 Okay, okay, so you and me going back into the 0:10:18.960 --> 0:10:21.520 woods to do magic. 0:10:22.960 --> 0:10:25.120 And with the room my friend taught me the other day. 0:10:25.160 --> 0:10:27.479 Hopefully we'll be covered. 0:10:27.400 --> 0:10:31.560 If we actually run into anything. I have a feeling 0:10:31.559 --> 0:10:33.400 this isn't what you expected when you signed up to 0:10:33.400 --> 0:10:33.880 be a ta. 0:10:34.760 --> 0:10:38.240 Actually, this was exactly what I expected from this job. 0:11:05.040 --> 0:11:06.360 Shelley, you're home. 0:11:07.120 --> 0:11:09.199 Have you just been sitting in the kitchen waiting for me? 0:11:09.720 --> 0:11:10.960 I thought maybe we could talk. 0:11:12.920 --> 0:11:17.240 I had such a terrible night's sleep last night that 0:11:17.360 --> 0:11:20.360 I had to skip out on work early. In fact, 0:11:21.160 --> 0:11:24.560 I've had a series of terrible night's sleep, so I 0:11:24.600 --> 0:11:27.640 would like to sit down and just not think for 0:11:27.679 --> 0:11:28.160 a little bit. 0:11:29.040 --> 0:11:31.160 Well, then sit down here at least and let me 0:11:31.240 --> 0:11:37.640 do all the talking. Mom stop, Look, baby, I don't 0:11:37.679 --> 0:11:39.440 know how long we're going to be staying here, but 0:11:39.480 --> 0:11:42.600 I think we should figure out how to live together 0:11:42.640 --> 0:11:44.160 peacefully while we're here. 0:11:44.679 --> 0:11:47.000 I'm fine having you guys stay as long as you 0:11:47.080 --> 0:11:50.040 need to, but that doesn't mean that we need to 0:11:50.080 --> 0:11:51.880 interact at all. 0:11:52.640 --> 0:11:54.600 Shelley, it's three pm. 0:11:55.160 --> 0:11:59.679 It's three pm, the day after my lying mother showed 0:11:59.720 --> 0:12:01.880 up on my doorstep with the father and brother. I 0:12:01.960 --> 0:12:04.880 never knew about in Toe, so I think that I 0:12:04.960 --> 0:12:06.640 have earned a glass of wine. 0:12:07.160 --> 0:12:08.400 Do you mind pouring me a glass? 0:12:08.440 --> 0:12:12.960 Then? Yes, I do. 0:12:13.080 --> 0:12:13.360 Mind. 0:12:14.040 --> 0:12:16.120 You haven't really yelled at me yet, you know, if 0:12:16.120 --> 0:12:18.320 you want to yell at me, go right ahead. 0:12:20.440 --> 0:12:23.760 I don't want to yell at you, Mom, I'm not. 0:12:26.200 --> 0:12:30.040 I'm not even sure that I'm angry, not anymore. I 0:12:30.160 --> 0:12:37.200 just I'm I'm more sad. I know you robbed me 0:12:38.040 --> 0:12:43.080 oh so much of knowing who my father was, the 0:12:43.200 --> 0:12:47.520 chance to ask questions about him, to keep him with 0:12:47.720 --> 0:12:51.120 me as I grew up, of having a brother. 0:12:51.840 --> 0:12:52.840 I know, I know. 0:12:53.640 --> 0:12:55.559 Do you want to know what hurts the most? 0:12:56.320 --> 0:12:56.600 Mom? 0:12:57.880 --> 0:12:58.960 You robbed me of you? 0:13:00.200 --> 0:13:05.280 I mean you never there was always this canyon between us. 0:13:06.640 --> 0:13:07.720 I'm so sorry. 0:13:07.960 --> 0:13:10.120 No, no, it's not. I'm not saying that you were 0:13:10.160 --> 0:13:10.800 a bad mother. 0:13:10.920 --> 0:13:11.240 It's not. 0:13:14.040 --> 0:13:17.480 I always knew that you loved me and that you 0:13:17.520 --> 0:13:22.079 would do anything to protect me, and you raised me 0:13:22.200 --> 0:13:26.160 to be strong and thoughtful and to take no shit 0:13:26.240 --> 0:13:29.880 from anyone, and I am I'm really grateful for that. 0:13:31.000 --> 0:13:39.880 But but you kept yourself like at this distance always, 0:13:41.800 --> 0:13:44.680 And that's the thing that I kept thinking about as 0:13:44.679 --> 0:13:51.880 I lay in bed last night, because it's just too much. Mom, 0:13:52.640 --> 0:13:53.800 there's too many. 0:13:53.600 --> 0:13:56.520 Changes to my reality that you brought to my door, 0:13:56.559 --> 0:13:59.079 and so the only thing that I could focus on 0:14:00.120 --> 0:14:04.800 after seeing you was how all of it answered a 0:14:04.880 --> 0:14:08.160 question I've been asking my whole life. 0:14:08.320 --> 0:14:09.440 Who your father was. 0:14:09.960 --> 0:14:16.440 No, No, not that question, the question of why you 0:14:16.520 --> 0:14:22.200 are the way that you are. No, it makes sense. No, 0:14:22.360 --> 0:14:24.320 you didn't know how to connect with me because when 0:14:24.320 --> 0:14:27.920 you looked at me, you were reminded of him, of 0:14:28.040 --> 0:14:28.720 what you lost. 0:14:30.000 --> 0:14:36.760 Shelley, Shelley, No, it's okay, No, it's not, Shelley. That's 0:14:36.800 --> 0:14:41.200 not at all why you are right. There was a 0:14:41.280 --> 0:14:43.960 distance between us, and I could feel it growing bigger 0:14:44.680 --> 0:14:48.240 and deeper with each passing year, and I, you know, 0:14:48.280 --> 0:14:51.480 I never knew how to fix it, but it never 0:14:52.360 --> 0:14:53.840 had anything to do with you. 0:14:55.360 --> 0:14:55.880 I love you. 0:14:57.560 --> 0:15:02.040 I love you more than anything in the world. You 0:15:02.720 --> 0:15:05.600 and Live and Ethan are the most important people to me, 0:15:06.000 --> 0:15:06.760 and I would. 0:15:06.600 --> 0:15:08.920 Do anything anything for you. 0:15:09.680 --> 0:15:13.600 I know that, and all the failings I had as 0:15:13.600 --> 0:15:17.560 a mother keeping you at arms at length that never 0:15:17.840 --> 0:15:22.760 ever had anything to do with you. You would do 0:15:22.960 --> 0:15:26.720 things sometimes that reminded me of Thomas, you know. 0:15:27.840 --> 0:15:28.000 Like. 0:15:29.720 --> 0:15:33.200 Those expressions that you would get or the way that 0:15:33.240 --> 0:15:36.560 you were always so practical, But those honey, only ever 0:15:36.600 --> 0:15:40.080 made me happy that he lived in you. You know, 0:15:41.560 --> 0:15:43.520 he never made me sad that I could see your 0:15:43.600 --> 0:15:45.360 dad in you. 0:15:45.400 --> 0:15:50.800 But then why, oh, just. 0:15:52.360 --> 0:15:54.080 Something broke in me. 0:15:55.440 --> 0:15:59.040 At the time when Thomas first disappeared, there was hope 0:15:59.160 --> 0:16:02.400 and no hope that he would turn up, we'd find him, 0:16:03.560 --> 0:16:08.000 and then that hope kind of just turned into waiting 0:16:08.000 --> 0:16:12.640 for answers, and by the time I realized neither were coming, 0:16:13.520 --> 0:16:19.680 I was nine months pregnant and terrified. We were so 0:16:20.320 --> 0:16:24.440 excited when we found out about you. Thomas had already 0:16:24.480 --> 0:16:28.680 been planning on leaving Nancy, he had told her as much. 0:16:28.720 --> 0:16:32.280 And then this amazing thing was happening, and Jeremy was 0:16:32.320 --> 0:16:34.480 really warming up to me, and it felt it felt like, 0:16:34.920 --> 0:16:38.800 you know, we were gonna be a real family. I 0:16:38.880 --> 0:16:43.800 never expected to do it all alone. And it kind 0:16:43.800 --> 0:16:45.600 of felt like it happened all at once. You know, 0:16:45.960 --> 0:16:51.240 you were born and Thomas was gone. And on top 0:16:51.280 --> 0:16:55.920 of all that, I lost Jeremy. I lost this sweet 0:16:56.040 --> 0:16:58.600 little boy who I'd start to think of as my 0:16:58.640 --> 0:16:59.160 own son. 0:17:00.240 --> 0:17:01.040 But I had you. 0:17:02.800 --> 0:17:06.159 I had lost the most important people to me, and 0:17:06.280 --> 0:17:09.760 one feel swoop and at the same time, I began 0:17:10.320 --> 0:17:14.760 the best part of my life, the part where I 0:17:14.800 --> 0:17:17.720 get to be your mom, and it was it was 0:17:17.800 --> 0:17:21.080 just too much, you know, it was it was like 0:17:21.160 --> 0:17:27.439 my heart was so overwhelmed with feeling and grief and 0:17:27.560 --> 0:17:30.280 joy and anger and fear. 0:17:30.320 --> 0:17:33.400 I just I just shut down. 0:17:34.840 --> 0:17:40.119 And then I I never really started back up again. 0:17:42.080 --> 0:17:42.480 I think. 0:17:44.960 --> 0:17:49.160 I think that's the most I've ever heard you talk 0:17:49.200 --> 0:17:50.200 about your feelings. 0:17:51.160 --> 0:17:55.760 Yeah, well, they've been a little hard to access for 0:17:55.800 --> 0:17:59.800 the past forty years, and I'm really sorry for that. 0:18:01.520 --> 0:18:04.640 I wanted to give you so much. 0:18:04.720 --> 0:18:06.560 And if I could go back and do it all 0:18:06.600 --> 0:18:11.200 over again, even if that meant losing Thomas and Jeremy again, 0:18:11.320 --> 0:18:16.120 I would do it. I would do it a thousand 0:18:16.200 --> 0:18:18.040 times if it meant I could get it right. 0:18:19.400 --> 0:18:25.240 For what it's worth. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. You 0:18:25.280 --> 0:18:26.399 lost so much. 0:18:27.640 --> 0:18:28.399 I gained more. 0:18:30.119 --> 0:18:34.120 And look, you know, now here we are and we're 0:18:34.160 --> 0:18:36.399 all together again, and it's. 0:18:37.880 --> 0:18:38.280 Weird. 0:18:43.000 --> 0:18:44.560 Well that's putting it mildly. 0:18:45.160 --> 0:18:50.240 Yeah, yeah, but it could be good. We could have 0:18:50.320 --> 0:18:53.200 the family we were always supposed to, or at least 0:18:53.200 --> 0:18:54.080 something close to it. 0:18:55.280 --> 0:19:11.160 Maybe, yeah, maybe. 0:19:06.040 --> 0:19:09.520 Wow, You've got a lot of posters. I wonder if 0:19:09.600 --> 0:19:11.240 Jerry's wall was like this when he was. 0:19:11.160 --> 0:19:14.479 Young, if there's anything like my mom, I doubt right. 0:19:15.960 --> 0:19:19.159 I don't recognize any of these bands. I guess that 0:19:19.280 --> 0:19:20.679 shouldn't be too surprising. 0:19:21.080 --> 0:19:24.560 Yeah, I guess not. You know, I think maybe I 0:19:24.600 --> 0:19:26.000 should set you up on some. 0:19:25.880 --> 0:19:28.600 Sort of Google playdate because you still haven't been on 0:19:28.600 --> 0:19:30.600 the internet, right Google. 0:19:31.359 --> 0:19:35.080 Yeah, I'll be honest, I'm still a little intimidated by it. 0:19:35.800 --> 0:19:36.760 But you're pretty good. 0:19:36.600 --> 0:19:41.000 At all of this stuff, right, all this technology stuff. 0:19:41.600 --> 0:19:43.040 Yeah, I always been really into it. 0:19:43.600 --> 0:19:47.879 But this, this radio, it's a bit out of my 0:19:47.960 --> 0:19:48.600 skill set. 0:19:49.000 --> 0:19:51.600 But but that that that program is helping. 0:19:52.160 --> 0:19:54.960 YouTube tutorials are the answer to every question. 0:19:55.920 --> 0:19:56.600 YouTube. 0:19:57.160 --> 0:20:00.520 Okay, all right, tubular should work? 0:20:00.880 --> 0:20:03.920 Now do you know what was wrong with it? 0:20:04.119 --> 0:20:06.480 Just a short and here we go. 0:20:09.000 --> 0:20:09.639 Well done. 0:20:10.160 --> 0:20:12.280 Well that was the easy part. Right now, we've got 0:20:12.320 --> 0:20:14.720 to figure out how to tap into the liminal. Do 0:20:14.760 --> 0:20:17.040 you remember what it was like to try and call 0:20:17.080 --> 0:20:18.960 out to Nana when you were over there? 0:20:19.720 --> 0:20:23.199 There wasn't you know, any strategy to it. I just 0:20:24.440 --> 0:20:26.080 I was just trying to get through. 0:20:26.880 --> 0:20:27.160 Man. 0:20:27.160 --> 0:20:28.200 That must have been scary. 0:20:29.280 --> 0:20:31.320 Come on, let's get this thing going right. 0:20:32.560 --> 0:20:35.800 Okay, So what station do we think Carrie's ghost broadcasts. 0:20:36.920 --> 0:20:38.320 I guess we could just scan through a bunch of 0:20:38.359 --> 0:20:40.439 different frequencies see if anything pops out. 0:20:41.440 --> 0:20:46.359 Okay, I am im both. Yeah, this might take a while. 0:20:46.520 --> 0:20:48.479 There are a lot more stations now than there were 0:20:48.520 --> 0:20:49.320 in nineteen forty. 0:20:49.960 --> 0:20:54.080 Yeah, I bet maybe I can hear some of the 0:20:54.119 --> 0:20:54.639 new music. 0:20:55.640 --> 0:20:57.600 Whoa here you okay? 0:20:57.800 --> 0:20:58.080 Yeah? 0:20:58.160 --> 0:21:01.200 Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I'm just no, No, I'm fine. 0:21:01.200 --> 0:21:03.080 I'm fine. It's just my chest is a little tight 0:21:03.119 --> 0:21:03.720 for some reason. 0:21:04.960 --> 0:21:07.119 Do you want me to get you some water or something? 0:21:07.480 --> 0:21:09.879 No, I'm fine. 0:21:10.600 --> 0:21:13.600 Let's let's say go ahead's communicate with the other side, 0:21:13.920 --> 0:21:15.760 h Olivia. 0:21:15.400 --> 0:21:15.800 I'm fine. 0:21:22.880 --> 0:21:27.680 Oh it's a beautiful day. Huh. Okay. So she said 0:21:27.720 --> 0:21:30.280 to be sure to carve the ruins in birch, beach 0:21:30.480 --> 0:21:32.440 or pine, but not hickory. 0:21:33.160 --> 0:21:35.840 Okay, cool. Do you even know what those trees look like? 0:21:36.200 --> 0:21:39.359 Oh? Yes, I do. Birch and pine are both pretty distinctive. 0:21:39.720 --> 0:21:42.919 Great, so let's stick to those and just say fuck beach, 0:21:43.440 --> 0:21:44.000 fuck beach. 0:21:44.359 --> 0:21:45.840 She didn't say we had to use all three types, 0:21:45.880 --> 0:21:46.280 did cheap? 0:21:46.680 --> 0:21:49.159 No, just that there are best woods for channeling the magic. 0:21:51.800 --> 0:21:54.320 So how are you doing? 0:21:56.800 --> 0:21:58.080 Oh what do you mean? 0:21:58.920 --> 0:22:01.640 I mean, I know you've known Shelley for a. 0:22:01.600 --> 0:22:08.400 While, but oh yeah that Uh, I'm okay. I feel 0:22:08.400 --> 0:22:11.920 like I've I've had time to adjust, not fully. 0:22:11.680 --> 0:22:13.360 But at least. Uh. 0:22:13.560 --> 0:22:15.119