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Speaker 1: Coming up on you need therapy.

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Speaker 2: I was working through like you know, people pleasing, and

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Speaker 2: she said, Okay, before this session ends, I want you

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Speaker 2: to tell me one thing you don't like about me.

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Speaker 2: And that was like horrendous for me. So I sat

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Speaker 2: there for several minutes in silence, trying to think of something,

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Speaker 2: and then finally I said, I don't like that you

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Speaker 2: cussing sessions.

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Speaker 3: I started to realize that not being an expert isn't

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Speaker 3: a liability, it's a real gift.

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Speaker 2: If we don't know something about ourselves at this point

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Speaker 2: in our life.

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Speaker 1: It's probably because it's uncomfortable to know.

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Speaker 3: If you can die before you die, then you can

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Speaker 3: really live. There's a wisdom at death's door.

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Speaker 4: I thought I was insane.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I didn't know what to do because there

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Speaker 2: was no internet.

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Speaker 4: I don't know, man, I'm like, I feel like everything

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Speaker 4: is hard.

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Speaker 1: Hey, y'all, my name is Kat.

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Speaker 4: I'm a first and a licensed therapist second, and right

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Speaker 4: now I'm inviting you into conversations that I hope encourage

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Speaker 4: you to become more curious and less judgmental about yourself, others,

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Speaker 4: and the world around you.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to you need therapy?

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Speaker 4: Hi, guys, and welcome to a new episode of You

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Speaker 4: Need Therapy Podcast.

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Speaker 1: My name is kat I am the host.

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Speaker 4: And quick reminder up top that although this podcast is

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Speaker 4: hosted by a therapists and you're actually going to be

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Speaker 4: hearing from three therapists today, this does not serve as

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Speaker 4: a replacement or a substitute for any actual mental health services. However,

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Speaker 4: we always hope that whatever you hear can help you

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Speaker 4: in some way. Today I have two of three courts

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Speaker 4: therapies therapists here to help talk about what it's like

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Speaker 4: to start the therapeutic process, what it's like to go

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Speaker 4: to your first therapy session, what to expect, what feelings

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Speaker 4: might come up, and all that really great anxiety provoking stuff.

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Speaker 4: So I have Josie here Hi, who has been on

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Speaker 4: recently Yes to talk about time. I said welcome, and

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Speaker 4: so instead up Hi.

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Speaker 1: He said welcome, thank you. Okay, well welcome and that's

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Speaker 1: the show. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: And then we have Julia who was actually here on

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Speaker 4: last Wednesday.

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Speaker 1: Hello, welcome, Yes.

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Speaker 4: And I brought them on because what we're talking about

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Speaker 4: is not a one size fits all kind of situation.

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Speaker 4: Not every single therapist is going to do things the

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Speaker 4: same and not everybody's going to have the same experience,

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Speaker 4: even if you're going to see the same therapist. So

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Speaker 4: I thought it would be a great idea to hear

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Speaker 4: a couple different perspectives. And one thing I know personally

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Speaker 4: and hear a lot is how difficult it is to

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Speaker 4: take the step to actually go to therapy for the

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Speaker 4: first time.

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Speaker 1: Once you get in.

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Speaker 4: The door and once you actually see what is going on,

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Speaker 4: usually that anxiety can ease, but the unknown is really, really,

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Speaker 4: really hard for people to push through. So we're going

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Speaker 4: to talk about what the unknown might include. So I

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Speaker 4: have some questions that you guys, actually listeners have sent

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Speaker 4: in that they are curious about with first sessions and

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Speaker 4: starting therapy. But I wanted to start by me, Josie

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Speaker 4: and Julia or is it Josie, Julia and I? Which

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Speaker 4: way is correct? I, Josie, Julian and I. Well, I'm

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Speaker 4: saying it both ways, and you guys can receive whichever

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Speaker 4: one is correct. But we're going to start by talking

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Speaker 4: about our own experiences and what they were like.

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Speaker 1: And these might.

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Speaker 4: Include positive experiences, they might include difficult experiences.

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Speaker 1: But I want each of us.

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Speaker 4: To go around and talk about what it was like

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Speaker 4: for us the first time we ever went to therapy,

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Speaker 4: and maybe what it was like if you've been to

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Speaker 4: multiple therapists different times, you've met those therapists.

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Speaker 1: Does anybody want to first?

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Speaker 5: I can go Okay, this is Josie my first experience.

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Speaker 5: I actually liked talking about because it was one of

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Speaker 5: the reasons I became a therapist. So my parents sent

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Speaker 5: me or my mom sent me to therapy in high school.

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Speaker 5: I was feeling pretty depressed. I gotten like this really

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Speaker 5: dark hole. She sent me to therapy and it was

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Speaker 5: an older therapist.

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Speaker 4: And as wait when you say older, you're in high school.

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Speaker 5: If you had a guess like fifties, sixties, okay, a

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Speaker 5: different generation, Like for sure, like many away from.

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Speaker 4: Me, my friend, you know you're so much closer now, Joe.

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Speaker 1: Say your age as a little.

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Speaker 4: Like seventeen year old.

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Speaker 1: It's eight years old, a little.

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Speaker 4: Like seventeen year old. I was walking in and I.

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Speaker 1: Was like, who was this woman?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that could be your grandmother, Yes, could.

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Speaker 5: Be in my grand It was like, yeah, grandmother vibes,

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Speaker 5: And like one of the first things we talked about

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Speaker 5: was she do you know that little like mag that

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Speaker 5: goes on the fridge and it has feelings on it

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Speaker 5: and you move the little square around to your different

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Speaker 5: feeling and there's faces. That was one of the first

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Speaker 5: things that she did with me, and I was like, girl,

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Speaker 5: I am not five. I was a little sassy seventeen

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Speaker 5: year old. That made me feel like I was about

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Speaker 5: like five years old looking at it now, she didn't

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Speaker 5: really like assess and like meet me where I was right.

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Speaker 1: That might be something she did with every single class.

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Speaker 5: Yes, but just like where I was coming in, it

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Speaker 5: wasn't the vibe for me. So then I think we

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Speaker 5: had like one or two sessions, and a big thing

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Speaker 5: was I mean I was in high school drinking with

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Speaker 5: my friends on the weekends, and that was a huge

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Speaker 5: problem for her. Like as soon as I brought up

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Speaker 5: that I was drinking with my friends on the weekends,

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Speaker 5: it was like we've got to stop that, I'm gonna

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Speaker 5: tell your parents, which like fine, but like it's got

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Speaker 5: to stop, or like we're not gonna get anywhere, and

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Speaker 5: I was like, I am seventeen. I'm not listening to this.

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Speaker 5: I just didn't. I didn't want to be there. I

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Speaker 5: remember like I was like cussing at some points, and

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Speaker 5: she like felt like she was uncomfortable with that because

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Speaker 5: she like, I'm very much of like if my client

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Speaker 5: is cussing, or like my adolescent client, or I'm gonna

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Speaker 5: meet them where they are and I'm.

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Speaker 1: Gonna cuss use their language.

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Speaker 5: Yes, I've known therapists that do not cuss, like it's

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Speaker 5: just not part of like their every day and they

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Speaker 5: use it when you're with an ado in session and

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Speaker 5: like means some where they are. So there was just

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Speaker 5: like a bunch of stuff that happened, and I hated

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Speaker 5: it and I never went back and like thank God

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Speaker 5: for my friends pulling me out of that hole. But

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Speaker 5: like how much of a difference would it have made

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Speaker 5: if she had met me where I am? Which is

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Speaker 5: like really important for when I work with adolescents now,

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Speaker 5: of like I know what TikTok is, you can send

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Speaker 5: me tiktoks, I know what you're talking about, Like I

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Speaker 5: know all the trends that you're talking about. I can

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Speaker 5: sit and cuss with you, and I know I've like

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Speaker 5: been in their exact same position. So it's really like, now,

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Speaker 5: knowing the experience that I have, I'm like really intentional

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Speaker 5: about relating to my adolescence.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's nice.

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Speaker 5: I'm so glad it happened because I also I remember

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Speaker 5: thinking like as I get older, I was like, oh

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Speaker 5: my god, like she could have done that so differently,

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Speaker 5: and like, also, not every therapist is your match.

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Speaker 4: Obviously she was definitely a match for a million.

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Speaker 5: Other people, but I was just like, she could have

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Speaker 5: done that so much differently and I could have really

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Speaker 5: benefited from it.

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Speaker 4: I'm glad you said that not every therapist is for everybody.

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Speaker 4: It doesn't necessarily mean she was bad at what she did.

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Speaker 4: She just wasn't for you. And thinking about that, therapy

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Speaker 4: has evolved so much so therapists that were trained twenty

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Speaker 4: thirty years ago are going to have been trained differently

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Speaker 4: than somebody who just graduated to somebody who graduated ten

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Speaker 4: years ago like I did.

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Speaker 1: And Eh, that seems.

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Speaker 4: Weird to say, but it doesn't mean that anybody's wrong. However,

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Speaker 4: it does give me the reminder that I always need

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Speaker 4: to be continuing to educate myself. Yes, because we're always

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Speaker 4: learning more about what is the most helpful, and that's

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Speaker 4: what that's with every single occupation there is and career

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Speaker 4: there is. So that doesn't mean that all older therapists

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Speaker 4: are going to be like that either. But it does happen, yeah,

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Speaker 4: because it's like, well, I've been doing it. I worked

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Speaker 4: with the guy who was actually a fabulous, like incredible therapist,

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Speaker 4: but you would always say.

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Speaker 1: Well, this is how we did it for fifteen years.

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Speaker 4: And I'm like, okay, but it's like twenty fifteen now,

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Speaker 4: and we got to shift with the times, which was

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Speaker 4: hard for him because he'd seen that work so much.

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Speaker 4: But then we were seeing it not work anymore. So

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Speaker 4: I'm glad you said that. Hopefully she you know, has

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Speaker 4: been evolving it, she's still a cup of tea.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: And then my parents didn't, like they didn't know, they didn't,

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Speaker 5: you know, push me to try someone else.

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Speaker 1: It's like, all right, I guess therapy didn't work.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, when really, Yeah, I'm glad you are saying all that,

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Speaker 4: because that doesn't mean therapy doesn't work.

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Speaker 1: It means you need something a little different.

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Speaker 5: Yep.

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Speaker 1: When did you go back to therapy the first time?

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Speaker 5: Oh my god, not until like a year or so ago. No, No, okay,

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Speaker 5: I feel that I became a therapist before I went

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Speaker 5: to my own therapy, which is kind of scary to

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Speaker 5: think about. Now. But I literally did not go to

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Speaker 5: therapy until like a year ago, and I was remember

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Speaker 5: being so nervous. Well, I was like on the couch,

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Speaker 5: like shaking because I had been on her position. Of course,

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Speaker 5: I'd been the therapist already, Like I'd never been in

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Speaker 5: like this position since I was little. And it wasn't

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Speaker 5: a positive experience. Yeah, I was like so nervous the

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Speaker 5: whole time. And she was amazing. She still is amazing.

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Speaker 5: She's still my therapist. But it was like a really

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Speaker 5: positive experience.

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Speaker 4: You become such a better therapist by going to therapy, yep,

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Speaker 4: by having that experience.

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Speaker 1: And I am glad you admitted.

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Speaker 4: That because I went to grad school wanting to be

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Speaker 4: a therapist. I went to therapy when I was really young.

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Speaker 4: I don't remember much of it. I called her the lady.

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Speaker 4: I hated going. I would refuse to speak to her,

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Speaker 4: So I don't really have a lot of memories of

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Speaker 4: that experience. Besides the fact she was older, I had

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Speaker 4: no idea how old. She could have been thirty and

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Speaker 4: I was like, she's old, or she could have been

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Speaker 4: like seventy.

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Speaker 1: I have no idea.

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Speaker 4: But I didn't go back until maybe a little bit

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Speaker 4: before I went back to grad school, and I was like,

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Speaker 4: I was gonna go do this without realizing what I'm doing.

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Speaker 4: It's like I don't I'm fine, but I'm gonna help

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Speaker 4: everybody else.

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Speaker 1: Oh it was so eye opening. Our program made us

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Speaker 1: go too.

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Speaker 5: When I was in my program, we didn't, but I

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Speaker 5: know we did beforehand, Like I know my program made

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Speaker 5: you beforehand. But I honestly it was more about money

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Speaker 5: for me, Like in in college and in graduate school,

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Speaker 5: I was like pretty stressed financially, like I had always

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Speaker 5: had a job I had to like it was more.

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Speaker 5: It was way more like financial than anything. I would

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Speaker 5: have loved to go to therapy in college. After college,

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Speaker 5: I would have loved to be in it for longer

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Speaker 5: than I have been. But like when I really could

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Speaker 5: start is when I was making actual money as a therapist.

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Speaker 4: And you are coming from an experience where it wasn't

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Speaker 4: very helpful for me and I never went back. So okay,

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Speaker 4: I get that, Joya.

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Speaker 2: What about you, Well, I feel like I'm continuing the

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Speaker 2: theme with like having an older therapist as your presentist.

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Speaker 2: So my mom found me this therapist when I was fifteen,

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Speaker 2: and I was similarly very depressed, very angsty, and she

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Speaker 2: was a really nice woman. She was probably also sixty

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Speaker 2: and she had a very maternal vibe to her, which

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Speaker 2: was sweet. But sorry, Mom, I know you're gonna listen

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Speaker 2: to this. I was having issues with you when I

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Speaker 2: was fifteen, as any fifteen year old would, and I

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Speaker 2: think the fact that this therapist was maternal was kind

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Speaker 2: of hard for me because I wanted to feel like

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Speaker 2: I had to be good for her and that was

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Speaker 2: like the larger issue I needed to work on in

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Speaker 2: and outside of therapy. But I never fully built trust

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Speaker 2: with this woman, so we couldn't work through that in

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Speaker 2: our relationship. And then maybe like five sessions in, she

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Speaker 2: comes to the session and is like, so listen, I'm

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Speaker 2: actually leaving. I'm going to start my own private practice.

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Speaker 2: So you're gonna get transferred to this younger therapist. And

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Speaker 2: in my mind I was like, heck, yes, I'm so

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Speaker 2: glad you're firing me.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know, because I didn't know that.

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Speaker 2: I could like say I don't think this is a

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Speaker 2: good fit. I didn't have those words like and I'm

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Speaker 2: a people pleaser, so I would have never fired her.

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Speaker 2: But I got transferred to this younger therapist who was amazing.

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Speaker 2: It just was better for that age for me, and

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Speaker 2: I remember, Josie, we probably would have not been friends

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Speaker 2: after I.

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Speaker 1: Tell you this story.

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Speaker 4: I had the opposite experience.

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Speaker 2: She was like telling me I was working through like

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Speaker 2: you know, people pleasing, and she said, Okay, before this

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Speaker 2: session ends, I want you to tell me did you

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Speaker 2: do the feelings chart? No, we didn't do the feelings start.

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Speaker 2: It's probably why I liked her. She said, I want

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Speaker 2: you to tell me one thing you don't like about me,

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Speaker 2: and that was like horrendous for me. So I sat

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Speaker 2: there for several minutes in silence, trying to think of something,

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Speaker 2: and then finally I said, I don't like that you

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Speaker 2: cuss in sessions. No way, yeah, because I was like,

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Speaker 2: really a goody two shoes to.

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Speaker 1: Cuss in sessions?

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Speaker 3: Now?

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Speaker 4: Yes? Oh my, I love that that your yah. I

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Speaker 4: love that you are actually able to say that, because

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Speaker 4: that's one thing I say in my intakes, which we're

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Speaker 4: getting more into, like what it's like to for your

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Speaker 4: first session, and my intakes, I always make it a

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Speaker 4: point to say I want you to know that this

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Speaker 4: is like an open space and this is your space,

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Speaker 4: not my space, and I'm going to be really open,

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Speaker 4: and I want you to be open with me. So

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Speaker 4: if I make a face at you that you don't like,

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Speaker 4: or I say something you don't agree with, or I

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Speaker 4: say something that you think is mean, I want you

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Speaker 4: to share that with me and tell me.

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Speaker 1: But I know these people are not really calling me

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Speaker 1: out when that happens.

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Speaker 4: And so that's such a good thing for her to

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Speaker 4: directly have you do that.

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Speaker 2: It was so hard to I like said I'm sorry afterwards,

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Speaker 2: and I felt like I couldn't go back, But it

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Speaker 2: was so important to do that with her, and it

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Speaker 2: was safe, obviously to do that with her, And I

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Speaker 2: probably could have never done that with the.

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Speaker 1: Because it's your space.

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Speaker 4: And I think when you go to therapy and there's

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Speaker 4: one thing of the therapist, it's just totally not for you, right.

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Speaker 4: But if there's just a couple things or like I

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Speaker 4: know I've said I've said things that have hurt my

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Speaker 4: client's feelings, and sometimes they leave. I know one time

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Speaker 4: she left and she's like, didn't schedule for a couple

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Speaker 4: of months, and then she came back and eventually talked

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Speaker 4: about it. It's a skill to work on and It's

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Speaker 4: part of what therapy is, with that open communication to say, hey,

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Speaker 4: my needs aren't getting really met here, and I think

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Speaker 4: they can get met if I ask for them.

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Speaker 1: But we are taught to stay or go to be

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Speaker 1: like this is fine.

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Speaker 4: I'll just like suck it up and let you do that,

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Speaker 4: or I'm gonna ghost you. I also had a thought,

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Speaker 4: I feel like the stereotypical therapist is a sixty year

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Speaker 4: old woman with like glasses and a cardigan.

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Speaker 2: Well did your mom find you that therapist? Yes, okay,

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Speaker 2: so did mine. And I think that was just normal.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but they were.

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Speaker 5: Looking for someone who had experience in the field.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that makes sense.

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Speaker 2: But I can't wait to be that woman too, Like,

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Speaker 2: shout out to the therapists that are that age, because

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Speaker 2: you probably have a lot of experience. And I look

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Speaker 2: like I'm twelve right now, so sometimes people don't think

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Speaker 2: that I'm fit for this job. But oh, when i'm sixty,

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Speaker 2: maybe I will.

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Speaker 1: I think that's interesting.

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Speaker 4: I went to school with some people that were a

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Speaker 4: little older and my cohort, and their experiences and internship

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Speaker 4: were so different than ours because people assumed they'd been

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Speaker 4: doing it for a long time and I'm like, no,

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Speaker 4: we're the same time period. I know just as much

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Speaker 4: as her, or we both know nothing anyway, Okay, so

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Speaker 4: we're gonna get into the questions that you guys sent

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Speaker 4: to in which might lead to other things.

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Speaker 1: And the point of this is just to talk about what.

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Speaker 4: It might be like for you to walk into your

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Speaker 4: first session and what you can expect. Again, like we

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Speaker 4: all just spoke about, your first experience is going to

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Speaker 4: be different than somebody else's first experience, and so there's

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Speaker 4: always going to be an air of unknown and that

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Speaker 4: is something you can actually talk about with your therapists.

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Speaker 4: I firmly believe that when we call something out it

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Speaker 4: makes things a bill jillion times easier. So if I

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Speaker 4: tell somebody, hey, I'm really nervous about this whatever, I

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Speaker 4: no longer have to spend energy trying to act like

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Speaker 4: I'm not nervous, and I just get to be nervous

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Speaker 4: and there's an essence of relaxation in that. So if

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Speaker 4: you walk into the room for the first time and

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Speaker 4: your therapist says how are you doing, you're allowed to

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Speaker 4: say I'm freaking out or I don't really know what

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Speaker 4: to do, or how much time am I allowed to

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Speaker 4: answer that. You're allowed to just say what's on your mind.

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Speaker 4: That's the point is when we ask you questions, we

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Speaker 4: really would like to know the answer.

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Speaker 1: So let's get into this.

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Speaker 4: The first question, which is really good, is what if

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Speaker 4: I find it hard to open up or talk during

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Speaker 4: my session?

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Speaker 1: So what would you say? I have had both ends

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Speaker 1: of this.

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Speaker 2: I've had people who come in and are just ready

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Speaker 2: to share and I am ready to listen. And then

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Speaker 2: there are people who come in and are like, not

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Speaker 2: sure how this works and don't necessarily say that, but

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Speaker 2: are definitely sitting there uncomfortable.

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Speaker 1: Giving one more to answers.

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Speaker 2: Giving one word answers, hesitant, don't really know where to

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Speaker 2: where to go or what to say. And I think

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Speaker 2: I'm very comfortable reading the room, and if you are

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Speaker 2: sitting there silently looking awkward, I'm not going to make

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Speaker 2: you sit there, especially in our first session. I'm gonna

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Speaker 2: ask questions and help kind of lead and guide the conversation.

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Speaker 2: But I think it's allowed to be uncomfortable because I'm

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Speaker 2: a stranger for all you know, and you're still learning

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Speaker 2: to trust me, and that's totally normal, especially if this

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Speaker 2: is your first time in therapy. How else would you

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Speaker 2: know unless you watched it on TV, which is not

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Speaker 2: accurate the time.

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Speaker 4: I believe that wholeheartedly. It makes sense that it would

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Speaker 4: be hard to open up because you don't know who

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Speaker 4: we are. So why would I walk into a room

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Speaker 4: and immediately spill my guts. I mean, some people can

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Speaker 4: do that, and that doesn't mean that it's bad or wrong.

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Speaker 4: But if you can't do that, that probably just means

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Speaker 4: you're in the process of building trust. And silence isn't

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Speaker 4: always bad.

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Speaker 5: And I feel like it's helpful, Like then we know

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Speaker 5: where to go, so I'll have you know. I've had

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Speaker 5: a client for the first time that's like buckle up, like,

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Speaker 5: here we go, let's get into it.

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Speaker 1: I'm ready.

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Speaker 5: And then I've had others that are like you said, Julia,

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Speaker 5: like more quiet, feeling uncomfortable, like duh, this is really uncomfortable.

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Speaker 5: But then I know where I'm gonna go during the

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Speaker 5: next session. Okay, So like, if you're feeling uncomfortable and awkward,

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Speaker 5: then let's work on building the relationship a little bit more.

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Speaker 5: Let's play like feelings jengas we've talked about.

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Speaker 1: Let's get to know each.

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Speaker 5: Other a little bit more like it's helpful to know

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Speaker 5: now we know where to go for the next few sessions.

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Speaker 4: This metaphor might not pan out, but when you are

404
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Speaker 4: the doctor, most of the time it's impossible. We cannot

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Speaker 4: like reorganize our organs and change them when we go

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Speaker 4: to the doctor and or like we're getting some kind

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Speaker 4: of scan or blood work, we cannot change what our

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Speaker 4: blood is. Just like, as a therapist, we're not expecting

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Speaker 4: you to change who you are when you come into

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Speaker 4: the room, so we actually need to see you how

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Speaker 4: you really would respond. We don't need you to pretend

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Speaker 4: to be somebody you're not and fill the space if

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Speaker 4: you don't know how to fill the space. So it's

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Speaker 4: kind of weird because it's like, well, then you're analyzing me. Yes,

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Speaker 4: that's literally our jobs is to analyze you and in

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Speaker 4: a safe way where we're trying to help you, not

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Speaker 4: harm you or make fun of you or shame you

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Speaker 4: or any of that.

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Speaker 1: Come as you are, Come as you are. Number two,

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Speaker 1: How many sessions does it take to know if your

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Speaker 1: therapist is the right fit?

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Speaker 5: It just depends on the client and the therapist.

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Speaker 1: Like that.

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Speaker 4: I love this question because it's such a question that

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Speaker 4: like somebody who is going to therapy to like figure

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Speaker 4: things out, I need to know the formula to It

427
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Speaker 4: reminds of like Brene Brown when she's going to therapy

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Speaker 4: with the first time and her therapist is like, Okay,

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Speaker 4: we're not using a measuring stick, We're not taking this data.

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Speaker 4: It's like, I need to know how many sessions until

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Speaker 4: this thing will be done? And there's not an answer

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Speaker 4: for that.

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Speaker 1: I don't think there's an answer.

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Speaker 2: I don't think there is a true answer either. I

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Speaker 2: think that you could see someone for a year and

436
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Speaker 2: it was really good for that year, and then that

437
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,480
Speaker 2: becomes no longer a fit for you, or you could

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Speaker 2: see them for four sessions and be like, no, this

439
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:47,480
Speaker 2: isn't it. But I do believe in like having benchmark

440
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Speaker 2: check ins with yourself and therapy and maybe like I

441
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Speaker 2: don't know what it is. This is a random number,

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Speaker 2: but like every month or if you're going weekly every month,

443
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:56,840
Speaker 2: be like, okay, is this working for me?

444
00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:58,440
Speaker 1: Is does this feel good? Can I trust them?

445
00:20:58,680 --> 00:20:59,720
Speaker 2: Am I getting where I want to go?

446
00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:05,800
Speaker 4: I would also wonder what a person wondering this is

447
00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:08,720
Speaker 4: looking for and what they mean by the right fit,

448
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:12,800
Speaker 4: because that could mean a lot of things. If I'm

449
00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:15,960
Speaker 4: looking for the right fit, is who I feel the

450
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:19,320
Speaker 4: most comfortable with, or who is giving me exactly what

451
00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:21,520
Speaker 4: I need, who is doing what I want? Like, there's

452
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:25,360
Speaker 4: so many versions of what that could mean. And sometimes

453
00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:27,800
Speaker 4: the right fit is something that's going to continue to

454
00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:31,320
Speaker 4: be uncomfortable and push you, and sometimes the right fit

455
00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:34,080
Speaker 4: in a different season might mean something else. And so

456
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:38,720
Speaker 4: I think before you can even give an adjusted or

457
00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:42,240
Speaker 4: estimate to that question, you would really have to be

458
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:45,320
Speaker 4: super aware of what is my idea of a good fit,

459
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:49,480
Speaker 4: And that also can be different depending on the season

460
00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:50,159
Speaker 4: of life you're in.

461
00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:52,880
Speaker 5: And I think it's more of a feeling than a number,

462
00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:55,520
Speaker 5: like yeah, it's hard to put like a number on

463
00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:57,480
Speaker 5: how many sessions, but it's like, really just how you're

464
00:21:57,520 --> 00:21:59,880
Speaker 5: feeling about it and what's your gut telling you about

465
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:01,000
Speaker 5: this relationship.

466
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:03,800
Speaker 4: Isn't it nice when you ask a therapist questions and

467
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:05,720
Speaker 4: they don't ever really answer the question.

468
00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:07,920
Speaker 2: Answer it with.

469
00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:12,280
Speaker 1: How I'm feeling? All right?

470
00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:15,480
Speaker 4: The third question, what kind of questions is a therapist

471
00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:23,639
Speaker 4: going to ask during a first session? What kind of

472
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:26,320
Speaker 4: questions is a therapist going to ask during a first session?

473
00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:31,680
Speaker 5: Okay, so When I first started, I was very structured

474
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:34,760
Speaker 5: because I was working at a company where we took insurance. Like, Okay,

475
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:37,320
Speaker 5: if your therapist takes insurance, it's going to have to

476
00:22:37,359 --> 00:22:40,880
Speaker 5: be much more structured than a therapist that doesn't take insurance,

477
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:44,479
Speaker 5: because you have to submit certain forms to insurance. So

478
00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:48,040
Speaker 5: you're going to go through history and medications and family

479
00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:52,359
Speaker 5: and goals and why you're seeking counseling and are you

480
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:56,600
Speaker 5: using alcohol, Like just a bunch of questions about yourself

481
00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:59,720
Speaker 5: that have to be hit basically by the end of

482
00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:02,199
Speaker 5: that session in the next session so that insurance has

483
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:05,480
Speaker 5: that information and we'll cover your sessions. But as I've

484
00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:08,360
Speaker 5: gone into private pay, I feel like I'm much more

485
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:13,000
Speaker 5: relaxed in terms of like going where the client needs

486
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:15,359
Speaker 5: to go of like I have kind of a range

487
00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:18,400
Speaker 5: of things I want to check in on family while

488
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:23,119
Speaker 5: we're here, goals, but overall, like if the client's coming

489
00:23:23,119 --> 00:23:26,080
Speaker 5: in like really needing to talk about something, I'm completely

490
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:28,960
Speaker 5: comfortable talking about that something, and I just it kind

491
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:31,879
Speaker 5: of goes more with what the client needs in that session.

492
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:36,360
Speaker 2: I definitely will ask you so many questions about your family,

493
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:40,840
Speaker 2: because I follow that cliche that our family really cliche

494
00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:43,720
Speaker 2: because it's true, because it's true. That's a lot of

495
00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:47,560
Speaker 2: attachment theory too, which I love. And so I mean,

496
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:50,040
Speaker 2: I think there's always something to talk about with your family,

497
00:23:50,359 --> 00:23:52,680
Speaker 2: and if not, if you're not.

498
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:54,000
Speaker 1: Ready for that yet, that's okay too.

499
00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:56,520
Speaker 2: But at the end of a session, I usually or

500
00:23:56,560 --> 00:24:00,320
Speaker 2: an intake, I usually like to ask some sort of question,

501
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:04,600
Speaker 2: like if I ran into you a year from now

502
00:24:05,119 --> 00:24:07,879
Speaker 2: on the street and we were catching up, what do

503
00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:09,680
Speaker 2: you want to be different in your life than how

504
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:11,480
Speaker 2: do you want to be what? What do you want

505
00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:13,760
Speaker 2: to be different? Because that helps kind of think about

506
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:16,240
Speaker 2: goals and how you want to feel and all these

507
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:20,560
Speaker 2: things that can kind of guide us to reaching those goals.

508
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:21,400
Speaker 1: And that's a.

509
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:24,200
Speaker 4: Really good visual instead of what do you want to

510
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:26,320
Speaker 4: work on? I mean, I asked that, but that's a

511
00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:29,240
Speaker 4: really good helps you look at the question differently, almost

512
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:32,399
Speaker 4: gives you it sounds easier to answer that. And I

513
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:33,280
Speaker 4: want to start you saying that.

514
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:36,399
Speaker 1: It's funny you ask about family.

515
00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:37,280
Speaker 5: I ask about.

516
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:38,800
Speaker 1: Body image every time.

517
00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:42,399
Speaker 5: I mean, because most of the clients I'm seeing eating disorder,

518
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:44,639
Speaker 5: but like that's what we're here for. So that's like

519
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:46,399
Speaker 5: something I typically try to.

520
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:50,520
Speaker 4: Hit and your first session is going again to be

521
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:53,080
Speaker 4: different depending on where you are. If you haven't done

522
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:56,000
Speaker 4: it intake session then and this is a first session,

523
00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:57,920
Speaker 4: you might not have to answer all these questions. If

524
00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:00,119
Speaker 4: you have done it in take session this session and

525
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:02,439
Speaker 4: might go a different direction and you might start doing something.

526
00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:05,000
Speaker 4: But I would look at a first session as I'm

527
00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:07,000
Speaker 4: getting to know this person and there trying to get

528
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:10,240
Speaker 4: to know me, and that's what I use it for.

529
00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:13,600
Speaker 4: You're also probably going to go over some policies and

530
00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:16,080
Speaker 4: things that are like okay, la la la la la.

531
00:25:16,119 --> 00:25:18,199
Speaker 1: I can just get to the point, but they have

532
00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:21,160
Speaker 1: to be said. Therapists have to go over confidentiality.

533
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:25,000
Speaker 4: I really enjoy going over just certain policies I have

534
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:30,680
Speaker 4: so there's never any confusion in the later periods because

535
00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:33,840
Speaker 4: we know you don't always read the forms that you sign,

536
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:36,119
Speaker 4: and I know that because I don't always read the

537
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:38,000
Speaker 4: forms that I sign, and so I like to do that.

538
00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:41,520
Speaker 4: But I would go into that with the idea that

539
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:43,639
Speaker 4: your therapist is going to want to get to know you,

540
00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:46,800
Speaker 4: so they're going to ask you questions that help them

541
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:50,199
Speaker 4: get to know you. And I hear so often at

542
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:51,840
Speaker 4: the end of sessions. I don't know about y'all. My

543
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:55,400
Speaker 4: clients will say I feel like I just talked about

544
00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:58,200
Speaker 4: everything and nothing, or I feel like I blacked out,

545
00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:01,439
Speaker 4: because if you are feeling out of emotion, you just

546
00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:03,360
Speaker 4: are like in it and then you're like, wait, it's over.

547
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:04,200
Speaker 1: How did we get here?

548
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:07,200
Speaker 2: I had a client once at the end of an INTAKEO,

549
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:09,720
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, you just talked so much about myself.

550
00:26:10,119 --> 00:26:11,320
Speaker 2: We didn't even get to talk about you.

551
00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:15,480
Speaker 1: That's exactly what you do here. Yeah, and we're not

552
00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:21,399
Speaker 1: gonna talk about me. Yes by design? Okay, next question.

553
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:24,679
Speaker 4: I think this is a therapist asking this like a

554
00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:26,880
Speaker 4: new therapist asking this for the perspective of a therapist.

555
00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:30,120
Speaker 4: As a therapist, how do you prepare for a new

556
00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:32,920
Speaker 4: client and what are some of the ways you try

557
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:35,280
Speaker 4: to ease the discomfort of a first timer.

558
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:39,239
Speaker 5: I think it's important so on our intake form that

559
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:41,080
Speaker 5: we use or I think me and Kat have the

560
00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:43,560
Speaker 5: same one, but Julius is different, but it asks I'm

561
00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:44,880
Speaker 5: sure Julie is that's the same thing.

562
00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:46,399
Speaker 1: Have you been a therapy before?

563
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:49,160
Speaker 5: That's really important knowing like I just had a new

564
00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:51,639
Speaker 5: client today that's been like five times, but yesterday I

565
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:53,719
Speaker 5: had a new client who's never been before, and like

566
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:56,879
Speaker 5: it's really helpful to know what that person is coming

567
00:26:56,920 --> 00:27:01,040
Speaker 5: in with in terms of are we are we anxious?

568
00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:03,240
Speaker 5: Are we excited because we've done this million times? And

569
00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:05,760
Speaker 5: when we want to keep rolling? So like that's first

570
00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:09,040
Speaker 5: and foremost is knowing if they've been to therapy before. Also,

571
00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:11,960
Speaker 5: are like an intake form I guess if this is

572
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:15,960
Speaker 5: for our therapist is so important because it, like ours,

573
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:23,240
Speaker 5: is pretty intent extent whoa extensive where like even before

574
00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:25,000
Speaker 5: they walk in the door, I know a lot of

575
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:27,320
Speaker 5: things about them. So that's like really important for me

576
00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:29,760
Speaker 5: is reading through I read through the intake form probably

577
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:33,080
Speaker 5: like two or three times before I see that client.

578
00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:35,800
Speaker 5: So that's just priority for me is reading through that

579
00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:39,280
Speaker 5: several times and like even having another list of like Okay,

580
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:41,360
Speaker 5: I want to ask more about this, ask more about this,

581
00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:44,880
Speaker 5: ask more about this on the side, so I am

582
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:48,320
Speaker 5: like pretty prepared going into it, and then just like

583
00:27:49,119 --> 00:27:52,000
Speaker 5: a new client that's never been a therapy before, I'm

584
00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:54,640
Speaker 5: really intentional about like how are you feeling about being here?

585
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:55,800
Speaker 4: Like how is this for you?

586
00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:58,719
Speaker 5: Of like really starting with like where we at, how

587
00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:02,000
Speaker 5: are we feeling about this before we get anywhere else

588
00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:02,600
Speaker 5: in session.

589
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:07,560
Speaker 2: I think sometimes it's about managing my own discomfort with

590
00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:11,720
Speaker 2: meeting a new client, because I also get afraid, and

591
00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:13,639
Speaker 2: I get afraid that they're gonna be nervous, and then

592
00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:15,440
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be nervous, and then we're just all gonna

593
00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:16,280
Speaker 2: be nervous together.

594
00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:17,960
Speaker 1: And then once I get through.

595
00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:21,040
Speaker 2: That spiral, I'm like, oh wait, we're all human and

596
00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:23,200
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna meet another human, and I want to

597
00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:25,280
Speaker 2: make them feel like they're just doing that too, Like

598
00:28:25,359 --> 00:28:28,239
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna be this clinical monster who's gonna look

599
00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:30,880
Speaker 2: down on you. I want you to come in. I

600
00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:33,879
Speaker 2: really am about hospitality, so I feel like our therapy

601
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:37,439
Speaker 2: room is like you're entering my professional house. I'm not

602
00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:39,680
Speaker 2: gonna have you over to my house, but this this

603
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:42,400
Speaker 2: is my professional house, and I'm welcoming you in.

604
00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:43,840
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be hospital to you.

605
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:47,520
Speaker 2: And if a client feels, if I'm sense that they're

606
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:51,720
Speaker 2: kind of uncomfortable, I'm not afraid to like stray away

607
00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:54,120
Speaker 2: in that first session from the hard stuff. And if

608
00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:55,800
Speaker 2: they bring up like their dog and they seem really

609
00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:57,840
Speaker 2: excited about it, let's talk about your dog. For a

610
00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:00,719
Speaker 2: couple of minutes and cool off. Yeah, just to humans

611
00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:03,920
Speaker 2: trying to connect with one another. It's when I remind myself.

612
00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:07,800
Speaker 4: I really like that, and I really believe in normalizing

613
00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:12,480
Speaker 4: the experience of being a human. So saying like, I

614
00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:15,320
Speaker 4: know the first session is weird, or I know what

615
00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:18,120
Speaker 4: can be weird That I just asked you what your

616
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:22,200
Speaker 4: deepest trauma is and that's a weird expectation that I

617
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:24,120
Speaker 4: would think you would answer that you don't know me.

618
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:28,240
Speaker 4: So normalizing the experience that it is. This is not

619
00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:30,920
Speaker 4: a normal thing that we're doing. You don't do. Hopefully

620
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:33,480
Speaker 4: you are not going around on the street sharing this

621
00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:35,760
Speaker 4: stuff with everybody. And a lot of the things that

622
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:37,720
Speaker 4: people are coming to talk about are things that they

623
00:29:38,440 --> 00:29:40,040
Speaker 4: never intended on telling anybody.

624
00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:43,200
Speaker 1: So that's really important. And the space.

625
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:47,880
Speaker 4: I worked in an office, and if my clients are listening,

626
00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:49,800
Speaker 4: they might be like, yeah, I still dream about that

627
00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:53,000
Speaker 4: office or have nightmares about the office. I worked at

628
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:58,520
Speaker 4: one office that was really dark and cramped and it

629
00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:02,520
Speaker 4: just felt a little I didn't feel.

630
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:06,320
Speaker 1: Like you could like lounge and wait and be peaceful.

631
00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:08,560
Speaker 4: And then I worked to another office that one didn't

632
00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:11,479
Speaker 4: have windows in the waiting room felt like a doctor's office.

633
00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:15,000
Speaker 4: So when we moved into this building, Crystal and I,

634
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:18,000
Speaker 4: the dietician who's actually been on the podcast multiple times,

635
00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:21,920
Speaker 4: who leased this office together, this building really were intentional

636
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:25,080
Speaker 4: about we wanted to feel like a home and not

637
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:28,120
Speaker 4: a doctor's office because we both were in that other place.

638
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:32,480
Speaker 4: So using furniture that wouldn't be in a doctor's office,

639
00:30:33,160 --> 00:30:36,320
Speaker 4: putting things on the wall that feel nice to read.

640
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:39,600
Speaker 4: We created a coffee not a coffee station, a te station.

641
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:42,480
Speaker 4: But you know, it's really hard to make sure that's

642
00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:45,280
Speaker 4: always filled up, so it's in process. But I think

643
00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:48,760
Speaker 4: that's one thing that I always wanted is a place

644
00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:51,840
Speaker 4: that felt like I could just like sit here.

645
00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:53,240
Speaker 1: I've walked out into.

646
00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:54,640
Speaker 4: The waiting room and my clients have been asleep on

647
00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:56,320
Speaker 4: the couch, and I'm like, this is what I want.

648
00:30:57,160 --> 00:30:58,040
Speaker 1: I love that.

649
00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:02,560
Speaker 4: Okay, this might be the last question, and I love

650
00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:05,920
Speaker 4: this question. How do you get over the fear of

651
00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:10,480
Speaker 4: embarrassment knowing you will cry the entire time? I can

652
00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:11,080
Speaker 4: answer this one?

653
00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:11,640
Speaker 1: Okay, do it?

654
00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:11,920
Speaker 2: Yeah?

655
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:16,520
Speaker 4: Okay, well one, I have been that person. So I

656
00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:20,000
Speaker 4: want everybody to hear that your therapists are human beings.

657
00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:24,000
Speaker 4: So we are not immune from feelings obviously, because we're

658
00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:27,080
Speaker 4: human beings. Therefore, it only makes sense that we might

659
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:29,920
Speaker 4: have had similar experiences to you. And all humans have

660
00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:32,400
Speaker 4: the same emotions. We don't have separate emotions for certain

661
00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:35,360
Speaker 4: kinds of people. We don't always all allow ourselves to

662
00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:37,480
Speaker 4: feel the range of those emotions, but we all have

663
00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:40,760
Speaker 4: the same ones. And I have been this client a

664
00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:42,560
Speaker 4: couple of years ago. This must have been five or

665
00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:44,960
Speaker 4: six years ago. I went to a new therapist and

666
00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:48,320
Speaker 4: I don't even know if I made any sense. It

667
00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:54,080
Speaker 4: was like hysteric, like noise crying, you know, and the

668
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:57,760
Speaker 4: therapists looked terrified, and that actually wasn't a good fit.

669
00:31:57,840 --> 00:31:59,400
Speaker 4: And then I went to another therapist and the same thing,

670
00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:01,920
Speaker 4: and she made me feel very at ease and responded

671
00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:04,600
Speaker 4: in a really awesome way. But I would say, to

672
00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:08,960
Speaker 4: answer this question, there's nothing to get over, because it's

673
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:14,040
Speaker 4: actually not embarrassing to express your emotions in a therapeutic office.

674
00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:17,320
Speaker 4: It's to me not embarrassing to express your emotions in general. However,

675
00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:21,480
Speaker 4: culture has taught us differently, so I don't know if

676
00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:23,800
Speaker 4: the answer to this is how to get over that

677
00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:27,920
Speaker 4: fear of embarrassment. It's how to shift your mind and

678
00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:30,280
Speaker 4: how can I change the way I think about sharing

679
00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:34,080
Speaker 4: my emotions with somebody because I want to see, Like

680
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:38,000
Speaker 4: we said earlier, I want to see somebody's real experience.

681
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:39,480
Speaker 1: I don't want to have.

682
00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:44,920
Speaker 4: A manicured presentation of who you are, because then I

683
00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:47,480
Speaker 4: really can't help you as well.

684
00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:49,920
Speaker 2: So this is probably unique to me, and I think

685
00:32:49,920 --> 00:32:52,680
Speaker 2: this is where my husband says, sometimes I don't sound

686
00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:55,440
Speaker 2: like a therapist, but I sound like maybe a serial killer.

687
00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:58,320
Speaker 2: But I get really excited when people cry in session,

688
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:03,080
Speaker 2: especially if it's the first time, because that is brave

689
00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:07,160
Speaker 2: to do. And I always say to clients because a

690
00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:09,280
Speaker 2: lot of clients apologize for crying in therapy, and I'm like,

691
00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:11,560
Speaker 2: this is the place to do it. You're in the

692
00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:13,560
Speaker 2: right place to be crying, and so if you're gonna

693
00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:15,720
Speaker 2: cry the whole session, I'm so glad. I'm so glad

694
00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:17,440
Speaker 2: you can feel like you can do that, and I

695
00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:20,040
Speaker 2: want to help you do that. And there's no shame,

696
00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:22,520
Speaker 2: Like you said, there's no shame. I get so happy

697
00:33:22,520 --> 00:33:24,920
Speaker 2: when people cry in session.

698
00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:27,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, I said the other day to one of y'all,

699
00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:31,000
Speaker 4: I think that I had a client for years, and

700
00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:31,440
Speaker 4: I was like.

701
00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:33,680
Speaker 1: She cried today, Yeah you did.

702
00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:37,520
Speaker 4: And it does sound like a zero, but it's not

703
00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:39,960
Speaker 4: because we want you to feel miserable. It's because when

704
00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:42,720
Speaker 4: you allow yourself to drop down into your emotions, that

705
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:46,080
Speaker 4: signifies some essence of safety and some essence of you

706
00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:48,840
Speaker 4: allowing your body to do what it needs to do,

707
00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:53,680
Speaker 4: and we are conditioned to kind of rebuke that, and

708
00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:57,400
Speaker 4: therapy is a way to actually go back to the

709
00:33:57,440 --> 00:33:59,880
Speaker 4: way we're meant to be and experience ourselves.

710
00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:02,920
Speaker 1: So girl, I don't think you have to get over that.

711
00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:08,440
Speaker 4: So I hope that this conversation was helpful. I know

712
00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:10,839
Speaker 4: there's no way we can cover every single detail of

713
00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:13,040
Speaker 4: what a first session is supposed to be like, because

714
00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:17,239
Speaker 4: one they're all different into there's too many pieces to that.

715
00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:21,239
Speaker 4: And I would be here for years, and you know

716
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:22,760
Speaker 4: I would because I love to talk.

717
00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:24,080
Speaker 1: So I hope that was helpful.

718
00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:25,600
Speaker 4: If you have more questions, you can always send them

719
00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:28,480
Speaker 4: to me Catherine at You Need Therapy podcast dot com

720
00:34:28,719 --> 00:34:30,719
Speaker 4: if you would like to connect with any of us

721
00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:35,399
Speaker 4: specifically around therapy and doing that yourself. If you live

722
00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:37,960
Speaker 4: in the state of Tennessee, you can go to three

723
00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:42,040
Speaker 4: courts therapy dot com and you can contact any of

724
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:44,879
Speaker 4: us myself, Josie, Julia, or Stacy who is not here

725
00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:47,719
Speaker 4: with us today. If you want to connect with us

726
00:34:47,760 --> 00:34:50,680
Speaker 4: on Instagram, you can follow the podcast at You Need

727
00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:54,880
Speaker 4: Therapy Podcast. You can follow Julia's public Instagram at the

728
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:59,200
Speaker 4: Self Compassion counselor. Josie sadly does not have a public

729
00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:03,000
Speaker 4: in Instagram, but you can find her sometimes in her

730
00:35:03,040 --> 00:35:06,640
Speaker 4: face sometimes over at three Quarts Therapy on Instagram. So

731
00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:08,719
Speaker 4: that's going to do it for us today. Thanks you

732
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:12,640
Speaker 4: guys for coming and having this conversation with me, and

733
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:13,640
Speaker 4: I hope you guys have.

734
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:22,480
Speaker 1: The day you need to have. Bye,