1
00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,360
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

2
00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:05,720
Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime Podcast.

3
00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:08,039
Speaker 2: And we have some foundational stories coming up for you.

4
00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:11,000
Speaker 1: But the thing is this foundation needs a little support

5
00:00:11,119 --> 00:00:14,280
Speaker 1: from these sponsors. So stick around two minutes and we'll

6
00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:15,480
Speaker 1: get into the episode.

7
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:20,360
Speaker 3: My sick brother is now asking for forgiveness after cheating

8
00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:21,480
Speaker 3: with my fiance.

9
00:00:22,079 --> 00:00:23,720
Speaker 4: This is so complicated.

10
00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:27,440
Speaker 3: My brother, forty seven Mail has always been my role model.

11
00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:27,800
Speaker 5: No.

12
00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:30,880
Speaker 3: He was the valedictorian of his graduating class in high

13
00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:34,640
Speaker 3: school and simultaneously the captain of the football team and

14
00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:38,520
Speaker 3: got all the change and he still does. I forty

15
00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:41,640
Speaker 3: four Male, practically worship the ground he walked on. He

16
00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:44,440
Speaker 3: taught me everything I needed to know about women. I'm

17
00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:47,040
Speaker 3: gonna tell you something you need to know about women.

18
00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:50,800
Speaker 3: I'm gonna take them, all of them from you, work

19
00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:53,200
Speaker 3: and just life in general. By the way, this comes

20
00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:57,920
Speaker 3: from throw eight nine nine nine and just for update two.

21
00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:00,120
Speaker 3: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

22
00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:02,920
Speaker 3: to the marsage. Okay story Time, separate it. I'm Sophia,

23
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:06,959
Speaker 3: all righty, I'm Keon, and we're here to give good advice. Goofy.

24
00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:08,840
Speaker 3: But we don't have all the answers. We only know

25
00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:10,559
Speaker 3: what we'd do, so let us know what you would

26
00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:14,000
Speaker 3: do in the comments, and OP says thirteen years ago,

27
00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:16,680
Speaker 3: I was engaged to be married to a girl forty

28
00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:19,240
Speaker 3: two females, whom I thought at the time was the

29
00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:20,399
Speaker 3: woman of my dreams.

30
00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:21,720
Speaker 4: Do we get a name for her?

31
00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:22,320
Speaker 3: Uh?

32
00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:25,520
Speaker 5: Cinderella? Do Cindy for short?

33
00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:26,080
Speaker 2: Yeah?

34
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:29,039
Speaker 3: Ok, right sidey Cindy, whom I thought was the woman

35
00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:31,840
Speaker 3: of my dreams. My brother was the obvious choice for

36
00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:35,080
Speaker 3: best man at our wedding. One day, three weeks before

37
00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:37,800
Speaker 3: the wedding, I arrived early at the venue where we

38
00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:41,080
Speaker 3: did our rehearsals. To my surprise, when I drove into

39
00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:44,600
Speaker 3: the parking area, I found both my brothers and fiance's

40
00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:48,280
Speaker 3: cars already parked next to each other.

41
00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:51,600
Speaker 5: Oh what I mean, they're automatically cheating?

42
00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:54,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, the cars were parked next They couldn't even hide it.

43
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:56,520
Speaker 3: They couldn't even park down the street.

44
00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:59,600
Speaker 4: Come out, stop assuming things. They're probably planning a surprise.

45
00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:04,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, a surprise, A surprise wedding. You're no longer getting

46
00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:07,480
Speaker 3: married to her surprise birthday. I proceeded to park right

47
00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:10,280
Speaker 3: next to my brother's car, which is when I caught

48
00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:14,000
Speaker 3: him doing probably the worst thing a brother could ever

49
00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:19,680
Speaker 3: do to his sibling, having Spicy sleep the car in

50
00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:20,720
Speaker 3: the parking lot.

51
00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:23,120
Speaker 4: I did. This is the second worst thing. The first thing,

52
00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:24,760
Speaker 4: the first worst thing you could do is be having

53
00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:25,680
Speaker 4: Spicy to sleep with you.

54
00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:29,160
Speaker 3: That is pretty bad. But the second worst thing is

55
00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:33,959
Speaker 3: having Spicy sleep with your fiance in the car of

56
00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:38,079
Speaker 3: the parking lot of the venue you're getting.

57
00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:39,640
Speaker 5: Married, broad in broad daylight.

58
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:40,280
Speaker 3: In broad daylight.

59
00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:41,560
Speaker 4: She likes the thrill.

60
00:02:42,639 --> 00:02:46,239
Speaker 3: Also, just to be clear, he arrived early at the

61
00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:49,640
Speaker 3: venue where we did rehearsals. This was right before the rehearsal.

62
00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:50,639
Speaker 1: Is right.

63
00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:54,200
Speaker 3: People were about to show up, and they thought that

64
00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:55,320
Speaker 3: they could get away with.

65
00:02:55,919 --> 00:02:57,000
Speaker 2: They want they want to thrill.

66
00:02:57,240 --> 00:03:00,320
Speaker 4: They wanted a quickie and then dude and camp little

67
00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:02,760
Speaker 4: wedding is much cheaper than a divorce everyone.

68
00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:04,240
Speaker 2: I guess they just weren't fast enough.

69
00:03:04,639 --> 00:03:08,040
Speaker 3: Needless to say, I was mortified. Long story short, the

70
00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:11,320
Speaker 3: wedding was called off and I completely severtised with them both.

71
00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:14,240
Speaker 3: Since then, how could he do this to me?

72
00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:15,040
Speaker 4: Yeah?

73
00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:18,160
Speaker 3: I loved him and trusted him completely, and he betrayed

74
00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:21,239
Speaker 3: me in the worst possible way. He ruined our family too,

75
00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:23,480
Speaker 3: because I got a restraining order against him.

76
00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:24,680
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, just for that.

77
00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:27,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, yeah, I got That's pretty traumatic, dude,

78
00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:31,400
Speaker 3: it's traumatic. But I'm wondering maybe if he tried to

79
00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:32,239
Speaker 3: reach out.

80
00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:35,360
Speaker 2: He imagines like, that wasn't me.

81
00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:37,120
Speaker 3: What are you talking about?

82
00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:39,720
Speaker 2: That wasn't your wife? Are you feeling your wife?

83
00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:42,160
Speaker 3: That was a woman who looks like your wife? And

84
00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:44,640
Speaker 3: we have never seen or even spoken to each other

85
00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:47,760
Speaker 3: since our parents know never to have us both at

86
00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:50,200
Speaker 3: their house at the same time because I told him

87
00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:53,200
Speaker 3: I would probably unlive him or he would unlive me

88
00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:57,480
Speaker 3: if we ever saw each other again. Fair, that's rough

89
00:03:57,480 --> 00:03:59,680
Speaker 3: for your parents. I am now married to a beautiful

90
00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:01,240
Speaker 3: woman and have two lovely kids.

91
00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:03,560
Speaker 4: All right, you moved on, Thank goodness.

92
00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:07,000
Speaker 3: We're good. We're good now. Recently, my brother was diagnosed

93
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:10,280
Speaker 3: with a terminal disease and has been lobbying different members

94
00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:12,760
Speaker 3: of our family to get me to speak with him,

95
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:16,680
Speaker 3: which I've been refusing to do. Yesterday, the doorbell rang

96
00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:19,200
Speaker 3: in the morning and I found none other than my

97
00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:24,279
Speaker 3: terminally ill brother at the door. It was completely surreal.

98
00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:27,599
Speaker 3: He got down on his knees crying and begged for

99
00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:30,080
Speaker 3: my forgiveness. I told him I would think about it

100
00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:32,920
Speaker 3: and tell him my answer within a week. Okay, I

101
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,720
Speaker 3: think GOP's answer might be no, what do you think?

102
00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:37,000
Speaker 3: Do you think it's a no? Or yes?

103
00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:39,440
Speaker 4: What would you do this happened to me? Yeah, I

104
00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:42,280
Speaker 4: would forgive him. I would forgive if you moved on

105
00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:45,560
Speaker 4: to I've moved on. You have nothing, like I don't

106
00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:49,040
Speaker 4: have anything that I'm holding against you, but I will

107
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:51,039
Speaker 4: not be around you. No, I do not trust you.

108
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:52,320
Speaker 4: I think I would make that boundary.

109
00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,840
Speaker 3: I think that's a great boundary saying like, you know what,

110
00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:59,279
Speaker 3: sure we can move past that. I'm not gonna make it,

111
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,840
Speaker 3: you know, any effort into being a friend.

112
00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:03,920
Speaker 4: I'm a big believer in forgiving.

113
00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:04,479
Speaker 1: Yeah.

114
00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:07,000
Speaker 4: I mean I haven't been through very traumatic things, but

115
00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:10,799
Speaker 4: I still feel like, you know, what happens to you sucks,

116
00:05:10,839 --> 00:05:14,479
Speaker 4: but it's your responsibility to go through it. And it's like, yeah,

117
00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:17,200
Speaker 4: and really, and the way that you have to do it,

118
00:05:17,279 --> 00:05:19,400
Speaker 4: And if your way of getting past this with your

119
00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:20,920
Speaker 4: brother is forgiving, do it.

120
00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:23,120
Speaker 3: It's just working through that and like hopefully you went

121
00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:26,200
Speaker 3: to therapy and all that. Yeah, even though most of

122
00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:28,479
Speaker 3: my anger has subsided, I just don't know if I

123
00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:30,960
Speaker 3: have it in me to let this go. Should I

124
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:34,120
Speaker 3: forgive him? Relevant comments panic Bread says, Yes, I think

125
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,719
Speaker 3: you should forgive him. You should forgive him for him,

126
00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:40,320
Speaker 3: and you should forgive him for you. If you don't

127
00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:42,360
Speaker 3: forgive him and he passes away, you might feel a

128
00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:45,360
Speaker 3: lot of regret when you're older. Forgiveness is as much

129
00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:47,680
Speaker 3: for the person doing the forgiving as it is for

130
00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:50,640
Speaker 3: the person being forgiven. If you think that you don't

131
00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:52,680
Speaker 3: have it in you, you need to do some soul

132
00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:55,719
Speaker 3: searching about that. What he did to you was really,

133
00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:59,400
Speaker 3: really terrible. But life moves on and people grow and change.

134
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:02,000
Speaker 3: What happened with him led you to the happy life

135
00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:04,800
Speaker 3: you have now. I was carrying this pain and hate

136
00:06:04,839 --> 00:06:06,080
Speaker 3: in your heart, helping you.

137
00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:06,760
Speaker 4: Yeah.

138
00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:10,159
Speaker 3: Yeah, good point, and op responds. One part of me

139
00:06:10,279 --> 00:06:12,359
Speaker 3: wants to forgive him so he can pass away in

140
00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:15,359
Speaker 3: peace and so that our entire family can heal again.

141
00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:18,360
Speaker 3: But in all honesty, another part of me just wants

142
00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:21,000
Speaker 3: to see him suffer for what he did. When I

143
00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:23,960
Speaker 3: saw him crying, looking desperate, the way he did, it

144
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:26,680
Speaker 3: really got to me. He told me, it's the single

145
00:06:26,839 --> 00:06:31,119
Speaker 3: greatest mistake he's ever made. And he's regretted it. Since

146
00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:34,480
Speaker 3: I want to believe him, but it's just incredibly difficult.

147
00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,920
Speaker 4: I could hand that there might be bs behind it too.

148
00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,640
Speaker 4: Mm hmmm, if he's coming to you in that way. Yeah,

149
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:42,600
Speaker 4: because some people, I'm not saying everyone, but some people

150
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:46,960
Speaker 4: use crying as a manipulation tactic. M given this guy scenario,

151
00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:51,120
Speaker 4: I doubt that's what it is. But also understanding this

152
00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:52,960
Speaker 4: guy's charisma, Yeah.

153
00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:55,120
Speaker 3: This is a person who you know, has managed to

154
00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:57,200
Speaker 3: have a lot of people like him.

155
00:06:57,279 --> 00:07:00,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, women, include your experts, say, I don't.

156
00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:03,960
Speaker 3: Think that he necessarily is doing this as a way

157
00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:07,120
Speaker 3: to you know, swindle o pee. I think this is

158
00:07:07,279 --> 00:07:09,520
Speaker 3: the words of a man who probably does have a

159
00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:11,760
Speaker 3: lot of regrets in his life and is about to

160
00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:12,440
Speaker 3: pass away.

161
00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:13,120
Speaker 4: Again.

162
00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:16,440
Speaker 3: That doesn't mean that OPE owes him anything. It just

163
00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:19,240
Speaker 3: makes it a lot harder because this person betrayed you. Yeah,

164
00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:22,679
Speaker 3: cheek Britt says, just remember that forgiving someone isn't saying

165
00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:25,119
Speaker 3: what you did is okay. It's saying I no longer

166
00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:27,360
Speaker 3: hold it against you. You have a new family and

167
00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:29,680
Speaker 3: are happy, by the sound of it. I think forgiving

168
00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:31,920
Speaker 3: him before he passes would give both of you some

169
00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:35,680
Speaker 3: closure and lived a long term burden from yourself as

170
00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:39,360
Speaker 3: well as him. Please consider this deeply. What he did

171
00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:43,040
Speaker 3: was truly terrible, and I would never tell you otherwise.

172
00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:46,440
Speaker 3: But as the post above says, forgiveness is as much

173
00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:48,960
Speaker 3: for you as it is for him. If you can

174
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,119
Speaker 3: find it in your heart to let go of this hurt,

175
00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:54,720
Speaker 3: I promise you will feel this benefit. After all, he

176
00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:57,520
Speaker 3: is passing away and will soon be gone. It's you

177
00:07:57,680 --> 00:08:00,200
Speaker 3: who will continue to carry it with you after his passing,

178
00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:03,800
Speaker 3: and you deserve more than that. Yeah, I wouldn't want

179
00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:05,559
Speaker 3: you to have to live the rest of your life

180
00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:08,920
Speaker 3: thinking about that moment, thinking about that relationship.

181
00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:09,520
Speaker 5: M hmm.

182
00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:12,560
Speaker 3: I think that gives him more power, you know, and

183
00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:15,000
Speaker 3: what he did more power. And I think forgiving him

184
00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:17,240
Speaker 3: allows you to just be like, you know what, We've

185
00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:21,400
Speaker 3: had that conversation. I've done what I can. He's gone,

186
00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:23,880
Speaker 3: and I've let that, like release.

187
00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:26,640
Speaker 4: It his problems in the ground with him. Someone asked

188
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:30,720
Speaker 4: would he be apologizing if he wasn't sick, though I'm.

189
00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:33,440
Speaker 3: Sure he wouldn't be, or you know, most likely would

190
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:35,559
Speaker 3: not be. I think that when you get this sick

191
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:38,000
Speaker 3: and when you are, you know, when you have that

192
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:41,400
Speaker 3: that looming thing over you. I think it does absolutely

193
00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,600
Speaker 3: change how you view the world and how you view

194
00:08:43,679 --> 00:08:44,640
Speaker 3: past mistake.

195
00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:46,960
Speaker 4: Because you realize you don't have a lot of time.

196
00:08:47,559 --> 00:08:49,520
Speaker 4: I heard a quote recently. I think this is from

197
00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:52,719
Speaker 4: Donald Glover, but he said, you only live once, and

198
00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:54,560
Speaker 4: it is whenever you realize you only have one life

199
00:08:54,559 --> 00:08:57,360
Speaker 4: to live. Yeah, something like that. It was good, It

200
00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:59,240
Speaker 4: was a good quote. Someone helped me out here. But

201
00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:02,880
Speaker 4: he's realizing this actually means something to me, my life.

202
00:09:02,679 --> 00:09:05,000
Speaker 3: Pits Doubo seven says he doesn't get a free pass

203
00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:07,800
Speaker 3: just because he's now passing away. If it was such

204
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:10,040
Speaker 3: a big regret, why didn't he apologize sooner?

205
00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:11,760
Speaker 4: I was about to ask, you've had a decade.

206
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,400
Speaker 3: I think either Well, there was a restraining order.

207
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,840
Speaker 4: Was a restraining order, a lot of family, he was

208
00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:18,040
Speaker 4: trying to talk to a lot of family.

209
00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:22,280
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, But I still think that he probably you know,

210
00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:26,480
Speaker 3: didn't have that at least like immediacy or that feeling

211
00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:29,000
Speaker 3: of immediacy until he found out this information about his

212
00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:32,120
Speaker 3: terminal illness. And I think that is wrong. But I

213
00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:34,520
Speaker 3: think it happens to a lot of people when they,

214
00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:35,880
Speaker 3: you know, discover something like that.

215
00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:36,480
Speaker 4: Mm hmm.

216
00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:39,640
Speaker 3: Hope, he said. He sent a letter every year on

217
00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:42,959
Speaker 3: my birthday for the past thirteen years telling me how

218
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:43,640
Speaker 3: sorry he is.

219
00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:44,080
Speaker 4: Wow.

220
00:09:44,559 --> 00:09:47,360
Speaker 3: Ugh, the restraining order made it impossible for him to

221
00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:50,200
Speaker 3: get to me. Ultimate Realis says, what's the situation like

222
00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:53,200
Speaker 3: aside from the illness? Did he marry your former fiance

223
00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:56,400
Speaker 3: or anyone else? Does he have children? Hope? He says

224
00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:59,199
Speaker 3: he never really settled down with anyone. He's a good

225
00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:01,920
Speaker 3: looking guy, always been the playboy type who could get

226
00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:05,240
Speaker 3: any woman he wants. I haven't kept tabs on the fiance.

227
00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:07,360
Speaker 3: For all I know, she could be in China or

228
00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:10,480
Speaker 3: even passed away. I have no clue. Witty this way

229
00:10:10,559 --> 00:10:14,160
Speaker 3: come says, how did you get a restraining order? Did

230
00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:17,079
Speaker 3: you leave something out? It'll just hand those things out

231
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:21,280
Speaker 3: like dinner menus Opie says yes. Shortly after it happened,

232
00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:24,000
Speaker 3: our parents tried to sit us down to sort things out.

233
00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:27,640
Speaker 3: It ended up getting extremely physical. This is when I

234
00:10:27,679 --> 00:10:29,880
Speaker 3: told my parents that getting us together in the same

235
00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:33,440
Speaker 3: room would result in us unaliving the other and they

236
00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:34,440
Speaker 3: should never do it again.

237
00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:35,479
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh.

238
00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:38,960
Speaker 3: After this incident, I obtained a permanent restraining order perro.

239
00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:42,800
Speaker 3: It's renewable every five years, and there is an update

240
00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:44,320
Speaker 3: eleven days later.

241
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:49,080
Speaker 4: Oh man, what do you think I was curious of

242
00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:54,360
Speaker 4: whenever they met that one time? If OPI was married yet? Again,

243
00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:56,400
Speaker 4: I think that's a good question, because have a wife

244
00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:59,160
Speaker 4: and kids help you move on a little bit more,

245
00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:00,720
Speaker 4: because that's kind of in the past.

246
00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:05,200
Speaker 3: My opinion stays the same. I think your brother hurt

247
00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:08,320
Speaker 3: you deeply, and if you really don't think that you

248
00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:11,080
Speaker 3: can forgive him, that's completely your decision. But this is

249
00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:13,960
Speaker 3: your only chance. Yeah, And do you want that whole Like,

250
00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:17,120
Speaker 3: do you want that kind of terrible thing that happened

251
00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:19,720
Speaker 3: to you to have power over you for the rest

252
00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:20,480
Speaker 3: of your life?

253
00:11:20,559 --> 00:11:25,080
Speaker 4: In some way, a little voice in my head is saying, yeah,

254
00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:26,920
Speaker 4: lying though for what?

255
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:28,760
Speaker 3: Though? Lying about being terminally ill?

256
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:33,560
Speaker 4: M hm, And that that question I've asked if he

257
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:35,400
Speaker 4: was lying, what would he want out of it?

258
00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:41,320
Speaker 3: I don't money to Stealop's wife again two for two, Yeah.

259
00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:43,160
Speaker 4: Because I'm not really seeing a reason to lie, so

260
00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:45,240
Speaker 4: I don't. Yeah, I think he's I don't think he is.

261
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:48,000
Speaker 3: And also all like the family and friends have heard

262
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,120
Speaker 3: about it. And also I think he like saw him

263
00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:53,000
Speaker 3: and he looked pretty bad. So over the course of

264
00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:56,480
Speaker 3: the week, my brother's health took a rapid downward spiral,

265
00:11:56,559 --> 00:11:59,000
Speaker 3: and I began to realize that, as many of you advised,

266
00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:02,200
Speaker 3: my time to sort this thing out was fast running out.

267
00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:05,360
Speaker 3: I eventually decided to visit him on Thursday at my parents'

268
00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:07,760
Speaker 3: house where he's in hospice. Oh my gosh, I have

269
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:09,839
Speaker 3: a one on one. I told him I forgive him

270
00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:12,320
Speaker 3: for everything that's ever happened between us, and that I

271
00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:15,800
Speaker 3: wish things had gone differently. It was extremely emotional as

272
00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:19,600
Speaker 3: we both wept in hot There was a little bit

273
00:12:19,679 --> 00:12:22,600
Speaker 3: left he was lying, but yeah, no, I yeah, he's

274
00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:27,720
Speaker 3: not lying. I think that's really lovely. Yeah, I'm really

275
00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:29,959
Speaker 3: proud of uop, because that it was not an easy

276
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,720
Speaker 3: thing to do, nor something that you owed him.

277
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:33,160
Speaker 5: Yeah.

278
00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:35,959
Speaker 3: I think that it seems like it was helpful for you,

279
00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:39,320
Speaker 3: which I think was always our advice on why to

280
00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:39,600
Speaker 3: do it.

281
00:12:40,559 --> 00:12:43,880
Speaker 4: Healing moments, yay win win.

282
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:47,480
Speaker 3: At the time, he was still very cognizant and able

283
00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:50,600
Speaker 3: to articulate that he knows he doesn't deserve my forgiveness,

284
00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:53,320
Speaker 3: but he's thankful for it. I've been staying with my

285
00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:55,560
Speaker 3: parents since then to help feed him, bathe them, and

286
00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:57,160
Speaker 3: talk with him when he's not too tired.

287
00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:59,360
Speaker 4: Uh so he got your brother back too.

288
00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:02,120
Speaker 3: The fact that I'm now in a position to help

289
00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:04,360
Speaker 3: him when he's the way he is now has given

290
00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:06,920
Speaker 3: us both a lot of closure. I don't feel any

291
00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:10,560
Speaker 3: bitterness at all towards him, just love in all honesty.

292
00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:12,160
Speaker 3: I only wish I'd had it in me to let

293
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:15,120
Speaker 3: go of this sooner, which is you know, I mean, like, oh,

294
00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:17,880
Speaker 3: so many people regret those things, But just be thankful

295
00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:21,800
Speaker 3: that you had the courage, yeah, to do it now,

296
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:24,600
Speaker 3: because you're never gonna get your brother back. He still

297
00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:28,280
Speaker 3: the words out of my mouth, comments common ones is

298
00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:30,160
Speaker 3: I think he would receive very different advice if he

299
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,440
Speaker 3: had made the same post now, replies says, I feel

300
00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:34,360
Speaker 3: like a ton of the people pushing forgive the person

301
00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:36,680
Speaker 3: for yourself and not for them don't understand the difference

302
00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:39,640
Speaker 3: between forgiveness and moving the f on in your life

303
00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:41,520
Speaker 3: so that the person who harmed do is no longer

304
00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:43,960
Speaker 3: taking up space in your head or heart. Yes, but

305
00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:48,080
Speaker 3: I don't think you this commenterre quite understands that sometimes

306
00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:52,200
Speaker 3: in not forgiving someone, you were allowing them to take

307
00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:54,800
Speaker 3: up space in your head and heart. Oh yeah, which

308
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:55,840
Speaker 3: is what was happening here.

309
00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:57,679
Speaker 4: Yeah, like he was still.

310
00:13:57,400 --> 00:14:00,720
Speaker 3: Holding on to that grief and and anger, and in

311
00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:03,120
Speaker 3: forgiving his brother, he was able to let it.

312
00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:06,840
Speaker 4: Go, and it seems like the family as a whole

313
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:09,120
Speaker 4: is able to tonight. Yeah yeah.

314
00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:11,880
Speaker 3: Comment WO says, literally, what place did brother think he

315
00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:15,720
Speaker 3: had an attacking opee after he ft OPI's beiance. I

316
00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:18,160
Speaker 3: completely agree with you. Even if I could move on

317
00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:20,800
Speaker 3: from the cheating, I'm not moving on from being attacked

318
00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:24,320
Speaker 3: by my homewrecker brother for what exactly, catching them in

319
00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:27,280
Speaker 3: the act, being upset at them, leaving fiance and the

320
00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:31,240
Speaker 3: dust booo. So he regretted it later, I'd be stuck

321
00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:33,680
Speaker 3: asking myself if he was just pivoting because he couldn't

322
00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:36,680
Speaker 3: beat me into submission, or because he actually realized he

323
00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:40,760
Speaker 3: was a monstrous pus. I don't like these comments, honestly.

324
00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:43,520
Speaker 3: I think these comments are like very bitter people maybe

325
00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:46,400
Speaker 3: who are maybe putting their own experiences on the study.

326
00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:52,040
Speaker 3: Because we just found out from Ope that he appreciated

327
00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:55,320
Speaker 3: the time that he gets with his brother, and it's like, Wow,

328
00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:57,880
Speaker 3: I was able to forgive him, and you know, like, yeah,

329
00:14:57,920 --> 00:15:02,120
Speaker 3: that horrible thing happened, and it's not right what he did.

330
00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:05,840
Speaker 3: But we're realizing in this moment where he's incredibly sick,

331
00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:08,120
Speaker 3: that this is all the time that we have left.

332
00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:10,120
Speaker 3: And I think that all those commentaries to ignore that

333
00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:10,640
Speaker 3: is crazy.

334
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:14,280
Speaker 4: Forgiveness is a hard It is a hard path. It's

335
00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:16,360
Speaker 4: not for many, and it takes a lot of self

336
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:22,160
Speaker 4: sacrificing and selfishness make it happen. Guys, enough about dead brothers.

337
00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:25,880
Speaker 4: Let's get onto another story, shall we. My parents gave

338
00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:28,640
Speaker 4: my sister the same amount of money I saved for

339
00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:29,680
Speaker 4: two years.

340
00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:32,400
Speaker 3: What the heck? Mom and Dad?

341
00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:36,080
Speaker 4: I don't even know how to process this, so I'm

342
00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:38,840
Speaker 4: just going to type it out. I'm twenty eight female,

343
00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:41,400
Speaker 4: and my sister Elsa twenty two females. We're a talk

344
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:45,200
Speaker 4: called and our parents are Gudnar and Bernite. I always

345
00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:47,880
Speaker 4: thought they were pretty fair with us growing up. Maybe

346
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:50,560
Speaker 4: what's wrong Depending on how much money you've saved up

347
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:53,400
Speaker 4: for two years will be a deciding factor, that's true.

348
00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:54,280
Speaker 4: If it's like two.

349
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,520
Speaker 3: Grand, yeah, then yeah they can just give that out

350
00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:59,680
Speaker 3: twenty grand. And they're giving a twenty grand out too much.

351
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:05,000
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from and if you submit

352
00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:07,520
Speaker 4: your own stories, go to the r slash okay story

353
00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:11,000
Speaker 4: done sub reddit. I'm Riley, I'm Sophia, I'm and we're

354
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:14,640
Speaker 4: here to give good advice goofully. Yeah, and we don't

355
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:17,040
Speaker 4: have all the answers uh ah, but if you have

356
00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:19,560
Speaker 4: anything you want to say, put down below up please.

357
00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:22,440
Speaker 4: As Op says, for the past two years, I've been

358
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:23,880
Speaker 4: saving for a trip to Japan.

359
00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:24,920
Speaker 3: Who is it?

360
00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:26,360
Speaker 4: Who ever was going to Japan?

361
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,280
Speaker 3: Everyone and their mother is going to Japan.

362
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:29,720
Speaker 2: I've talked to so many people.

363
00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:32,160
Speaker 3: Literally again, I'm trying to convince Sam to take us

364
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,280
Speaker 3: to Japan for an experture.

365
00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:33,680
Speaker 2: They want to go.

366
00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:35,680
Speaker 5: They want to go to Japan for their thirtieth birthday.

367
00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:37,800
Speaker 2: And I'm like, that's what that's you me?

368
00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:42,520
Speaker 4: Literally, I'm the only person that idea everyone before they

369
00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:47,240
Speaker 4: turn thirty is getting diagnosed with like you know, neurodivergence. Yeah,

370
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:51,000
Speaker 4: wanting to do something to themselves and going to Japan

371
00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:53,680
Speaker 4: or getting their masters done, getting your graduate.

372
00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:54,120
Speaker 1: That's literally all.

373
00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:55,880
Speaker 3: I don't know what the second one meant, but the

374
00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:57,640
Speaker 3: graduate degree, I would agree.

375
00:16:58,080 --> 00:16:59,880
Speaker 2: What are you gonna do when you turned thirty? Riley?

376
00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:02,040
Speaker 4: Get married, have kids.

377
00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:02,400
Speaker 2: That's what it is.

378
00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:03,920
Speaker 3: I don't know. Yeah, that's true.

379
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,359
Speaker 5: That was the other I think the four paths are

380
00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:10,679
Speaker 5: tripped to Japan. Their masters being like an athlete or

381
00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:13,000
Speaker 5: like track star or whatever, like they love running five

382
00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:18,119
Speaker 5: k's or ten cas runners or like CrossFit which is

383
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:18,760
Speaker 5: really gross.

384
00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:20,879
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I.

385
00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:25,600
Speaker 5: Or getting married and tied down and like settling down

386
00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:27,080
Speaker 5: the kids tied down?

387
00:17:28,320 --> 00:17:30,160
Speaker 3: Who were you tied out?

388
00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:33,359
Speaker 4: All right? Anyways, Opie's going to Japan, like everyone and

389
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:36,119
Speaker 4: their mother is going. It's been my dream since I

390
00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:36,879
Speaker 4: was a teenager.

391
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:37,360
Speaker 5: Me too.

392
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:40,679
Speaker 4: I am a children's book illustrator, so I don't have

393
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:44,480
Speaker 4: amazing money, but I've been budgeting hard. Dude. Good marketing

394
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,240
Speaker 4: can absolutely change.

395
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:49,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, you can get a pretty popular children's book out there.

396
00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:50,280
Speaker 2: Put that plug in the reddit.

397
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:54,480
Speaker 4: Yeah. Skipping coffees, not buying new clothes, and mil prepping

398
00:17:54,720 --> 00:18:00,159
Speaker 4: every week. I've saved almost forty five hundred sec is

399
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:01,399
Speaker 4: forty three hundred dollars.

400
00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:02,520
Speaker 3: Are you just growing up?

401
00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:05,280
Speaker 4: Okay? That is a pretty good chunk of money.

402
00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:05,600
Speaker 3: M hm.

403
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,560
Speaker 4: I was proud of myself. I'm finally booking the trip

404
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:09,320
Speaker 4: for April.

405
00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:11,280
Speaker 1: Everyone's going in April.

406
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:13,040
Speaker 3: Everyone's going in April.

407
00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:14,360
Speaker 5: Time to go.

408
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:16,360
Speaker 3: It's too hot.

409
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:19,080
Speaker 5: Not hot, Yeah, it's not hot. It's like the perfect temperature,

410
00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:21,320
Speaker 5: and it's cheap and it's cheap.

411
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:24,879
Speaker 4: Yesterday, my parents announced in our family group chat that

412
00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:29,760
Speaker 4: they're giving else forty five hundred Sweetest Crown her as

413
00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:34,440
Speaker 4: a graduation gift for finishing her certificate program a six

414
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:37,440
Speaker 4: month certificate program in ausome administration or something.

415
00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:40,160
Speaker 3: So freaking bs, that is pretty crazy.

416
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:44,360
Speaker 4: When I graduated from university with my illustration's degree four

417
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:47,160
Speaker 4: years of work, they took me to dinner and gave

418
00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:49,520
Speaker 4: me a card with five hundred second.

419
00:18:50,119 --> 00:18:52,400
Speaker 3: That's wow, blatant favoritism.

420
00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:54,639
Speaker 4: What's up? Oh, abologies, No.

421
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,880
Speaker 3: Pretty fair of you to be upset. Did they get

422
00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:59,560
Speaker 3: the exact same amount of money as what OPI had saved?

423
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:00,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, forty five?

424
00:19:02,359 --> 00:19:04,720
Speaker 3: Did you like tell people, Oh, I've saved this much money,

425
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:05,720
Speaker 3: so I'm going to Japan?

426
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:07,920
Speaker 4: I mean, I mean this seems like it's been a

427
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:11,879
Speaker 4: lifestyle that Opia has been accomplishing here. Yeah. Yeah, so

428
00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:13,200
Speaker 4: she's probably been like.

429
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:19,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah for a minute, Oh my god, that's up

430
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:24,240
Speaker 3: five hundred. I would understand if they had different financial

431
00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:27,440
Speaker 3: situation back then and then that change but I still

432
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:30,359
Speaker 3: think that they should give opia a certain amount.

433
00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:34,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, my family helps us like in different ways. Like,

434
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:39,280
Speaker 4: for example, my cousin is getting a house. She's revamping

435
00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:41,439
Speaker 4: my great grandpa's house into something new, so like our

436
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:43,320
Speaker 4: grandparents are helping her out with that, and they're like,

437
00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:45,760
Speaker 4: whenever you guys need help, one day it is up

438
00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:48,600
Speaker 4: and we'll like make that happen. So it's like that's

439
00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:51,119
Speaker 4: kind of how my family flows. It's not always even

440
00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:54,400
Speaker 4: all the time, but it's like when people need it. Yeah,

441
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,800
Speaker 4: I hold my mom to ask about it right, to

442
00:19:56,840 --> 00:20:00,280
Speaker 4: stay calm and ask why are the difference? She's said,

443
00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:04,240
Speaker 4: not the same situation that Elsa struggled more with school.

444
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:07,119
Speaker 4: She struggled with six months with the office get a

445
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:08,320
Speaker 4: straight A certificate.

446
00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:11,560
Speaker 3: That's crazy for them to be like, well, she struggled

447
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:14,119
Speaker 3: really hot on the six month degree and you were

448
00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:17,800
Speaker 3: fine with your four year one, so we actually don't

449
00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:20,480
Speaker 3: care about you at all. Because of that, she said.

450
00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:24,040
Speaker 4: They wanted to celebrate her finally finishing something that I

451
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:28,040
Speaker 4: had always had it easier academically. According to her, I

452
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,240
Speaker 4: didn't need these same encouragements.

453
00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:32,920
Speaker 3: I hate that they're presenting it that way because it's

454
00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:35,600
Speaker 3: like you did well, so we actually don't reward you,

455
00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:39,359
Speaker 3: and she's doing poorly, so we're rewarding her for that. Yeah,

456
00:20:39,359 --> 00:20:41,960
Speaker 3: I'm so confusing to hear. As you know, for a

457
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:43,240
Speaker 3: p I'm assuming.

458
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:46,360
Speaker 4: Y'all five hundred seconds only fifty three dollars bucks.

459
00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:50,440
Speaker 3: They gave you fifty three bucks. I think it was dang,

460
00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:51,600
Speaker 3: that's up.

461
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,640
Speaker 4: I didn't have it easier. I worked part time through

462
00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:58,520
Speaker 4: my entire degree, took out loans, and handled my own schedule.

463
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,560
Speaker 4: I just didn't complain about it constantly like Elsa does.

464
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:05,000
Speaker 4: So basically I'm being punished for not being a mess.

465
00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:06,200
Speaker 3: Doesn't seem that way.

466
00:21:06,359 --> 00:21:10,200
Speaker 4: I told my mom this felt really unfair. She got offensive.

467
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:13,439
Speaker 4: She said I was making this all about money and

468
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:16,080
Speaker 4: that she thought i'd be happy for my sister. I

469
00:21:16,119 --> 00:21:19,720
Speaker 4: am happy for but I'm also hurt. Those two things

470
00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:23,560
Speaker 4: can exist at the same time. It's frustrating. Whatever parents are, like,

471
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:27,360
Speaker 4: the only feeling you can feel forwards me is gratitude. Yeah,

472
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:30,000
Speaker 4: it's like you're not giving me the right to actually

473
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:31,640
Speaker 4: fill out what I need to exactly.

474
00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:35,359
Speaker 3: You're like limiting my emotions based off what you want

475
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:38,119
Speaker 3: to hear because you don't want to hear me, like,

476
00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:39,720
Speaker 3: actually tell you the truth.

477
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:42,960
Speaker 4: Yeah. Helsa texted me later saying she heard I was

478
00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:45,960
Speaker 4: upset about her gift and that she was sorry I

479
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:49,359
Speaker 4: felt that way. Weird. I never trust anyone that's like,

480
00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:50,520
Speaker 4: I'm sorry you feel that way.

481
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:52,800
Speaker 3: Just sar you feel that way. That must really suck

482
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:55,199
Speaker 3: that you're not getting any money from her parents.

483
00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:58,520
Speaker 4: She wasn't sorry about the situation too, sorry I felt

484
00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:01,840
Speaker 4: that way. I've been crying on and off since yesterday.

485
00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:05,359
Speaker 4: Two years of sacrifice and discipline. They just hand her

486
00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:09,959
Speaker 4: the same amount, like it's nothing, Like my effort means nothing.

487
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:14,360
Speaker 3: Giving her the same amount feels so targeted and on purpose,

488
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:19,119
Speaker 3: like that wasn't an accident. I think they wanted to

489
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:20,440
Speaker 3: send you some sort of message.

490
00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:23,679
Speaker 4: Fifty three bucks that's pocket chance to them that he says, yeah,

491
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:26,920
Speaker 4: my dad hasn't said anything. He never does when mom

492
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:30,280
Speaker 4: makes decisions. I don't even know if he agrees or

493
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:33,520
Speaker 4: if he just doesn't want to fight about it. Am

494
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:36,680
Speaker 4: I being petty about money? Or is this actually unfair?

495
00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:38,560
Speaker 4: We got some comments here.

496
00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:41,320
Speaker 3: No, it's not fair. It's not fair. There's not much

497
00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:45,359
Speaker 3: you can do. Yeah, maybe limiting like the relationship that

498
00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:47,879
Speaker 3: you have with them, if they're gonna treat you this way, agreed.

499
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:50,400
Speaker 3: I think you just have to frame this for your

500
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:54,240
Speaker 3: own sanity in the way of I have the money

501
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:57,240
Speaker 3: to go to Japan. It really is awful and annoying

502
00:22:57,280 --> 00:22:59,760
Speaker 3: that my parents just gave that same amount to my

503
00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:03,439
Speaker 3: sister for no reason. But you know what, I'm happy

504
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:05,520
Speaker 3: that I was able to save up. I was able

505
00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:09,239
Speaker 3: to use my own hard work to you fulfill this

506
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:11,639
Speaker 3: dream that I've always had, and just kind of frame

507
00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:14,000
Speaker 3: it that way so that you're not constantly, you know,

508
00:23:14,119 --> 00:23:17,040
Speaker 3: over analyzing why your parents did this because there's no.

509
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:21,719
Speaker 4: Good reason they're legitly is not okay. Educators fifty seven says,

510
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:26,000
Speaker 4: the she struggled more so she deserves more logic is wild,

511
00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:29,800
Speaker 4: Like sorry for being competent, my dad for not collapsing

512
00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:34,040
Speaker 4: every semester, I guess. Robin Reef says exactly. It's like

513
00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:37,720
Speaker 4: all the hard work, sacrifice, and discipline over the years

514
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:40,480
Speaker 4: just don't count because you didn't make a big show

515
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:44,640
Speaker 4: of struggling. Totally unfair. My Reddit user name forty two

516
00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:49,080
Speaker 4: says you aren't wrong for being upset. Elsa is clearly

517
00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:52,280
Speaker 4: your mother's favorite. Expect the same kind of treatment. If

518
00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:56,840
Speaker 4: you have children, hers will always get more time, attention, praise, gifts,

519
00:23:56,840 --> 00:24:01,520
Speaker 4: and financial assistance. Same goes for in inheritance. Expect it

520
00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:04,920
Speaker 4: all to go to Elsa. You can't tell them how

521
00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:07,719
Speaker 4: to spend their money, but when they're older and they

522
00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:10,400
Speaker 4: need help, they can look to Elsa for assistance.

523
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:13,520
Speaker 3: Exactly see what that investment did for them.

524
00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:16,639
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh. Also, OPI, if you're watching this, literally

525
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:20,800
Speaker 4: go on TikTok and promote all your books that you got. Yeah.

526
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:22,720
Speaker 3: Smart, you can just start reading them.

527
00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:26,000
Speaker 4: On TikTok or something, yeah, and make them fun or whatever,

528
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:28,719
Speaker 4: make a good experience with it, and you're literally like

529
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:32,640
Speaker 4: a few marketing videos away from being so many trips

530
00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:35,199
Speaker 4: to Japan. You could live in Japan.

531
00:24:35,359 --> 00:24:36,560
Speaker 3: You could live in Japan.

532
00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:38,000
Speaker 4: Sofia's dream, I.

533
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:40,399
Speaker 3: Don't know if that's necessarily my dream. I need to

534
00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:41,320
Speaker 3: see Japan first.

535
00:24:41,359 --> 00:24:42,119
Speaker 4: What is your dream?

536
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:46,480
Speaker 3: My dream? H Melbourn, that would be one of That's

537
00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:48,520
Speaker 3: like one place I would love to live in. Or London.

538
00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:53,520
Speaker 4: Mois Goblinet says, I mean, yeah, the favoritasm is loud,

539
00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:56,440
Speaker 4: but the messed up part is Opie's mom pretending it's

540
00:24:56,480 --> 00:25:00,879
Speaker 4: some logical, neutral decision instead of just saying I wanted

541
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:03,520
Speaker 4: to do this for Elsa like I least own it.

542
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:07,000
Speaker 4: Gaslighting your kid while giving the other a whole bag

543
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:11,919
Speaker 4: is crazy behavior. Munch says. Question was the money amount

544
00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:15,040
Speaker 4: given to your sister just an opportrary amount or did

545
00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:19,360
Speaker 4: they choose your exact amount for a reason. Op First off,

546
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:21,679
Speaker 4: do not let them take away your victory. You did

547
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:24,280
Speaker 4: an awesome thing, and you should be very proud of

548
00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:29,000
Speaker 4: the savings, accomplishment and your degree. If you squint really

549
00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:31,359
Speaker 4: hard and twist your head just at the right angle,

550
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:35,119
Speaker 4: what they said about you being able to achieve or

551
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:37,200
Speaker 4: your sister could not is a compliment.

552
00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:40,119
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's true. I mean like you kind of just

553
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:42,640
Speaker 3: have to reframe it. It's like, you know what, people suck,

554
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:46,760
Speaker 3: But they're right. I am a capable I am way

555
00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:49,040
Speaker 3: more capable than my sister. I don't need their help.

556
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:53,360
Speaker 4: I was gonna touch on that you're going to Japan, dude, what'd.

557
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:55,520
Speaker 3: She gonna do with her life? Rely on your parents?

558
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:59,080
Speaker 4: She's probably gonna spin that money. Yeah, asap, we have

559
00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:00,760
Speaker 4: an update two days later.

560
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:04,119
Speaker 3: What do you think I think the same thing I

561
00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:07,440
Speaker 3: thought before. Yeah, I think you just have to reframe

562
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:09,240
Speaker 3: it and not focus on your parents.

563
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:11,920
Speaker 4: What about predictions connections?

564
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:13,840
Speaker 3: I think that her parents are going to be like,

565
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:20,080
Speaker 3: why would you? Why are you so I'm grateful? Yeah?

566
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:23,280
Speaker 4: You parents love pulling that card? Are you so ungrateful?

567
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:23,560
Speaker 1: Like?

568
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:27,400
Speaker 4: YO want money, I'll put you in this world? Yeah,

569
00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:29,680
Speaker 4: I can take you out of it. Have you gotten

570
00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:33,240
Speaker 4: that one? Keon? Yeah, I haven't gotten that one.

571
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:35,280
Speaker 3: I've never gotten that I can take you out of it.

572
00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:38,199
Speaker 4: I've never gotten either one of those sentences. Man, what

573
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:39,520
Speaker 4: about you guys?

574
00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:43,320
Speaker 5: You want to pull your parents?

575
00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:44,560
Speaker 1: You update?

576
00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:47,280
Speaker 4: I posted a few days ago about my parents giving

577
00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:50,959
Speaker 4: my sister elsa forty five Swedish colner for finishing a

578
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:54,120
Speaker 4: six month certificate program, when all I got was five

579
00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:58,439
Speaker 4: hundred Swedish corner for completing a four year university degree.

580
00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:03,320
Speaker 4: For all of my USD currency fans, sister was given

581
00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:06,440
Speaker 4: forty three hundred dollars. She was given fifty three dollars.

582
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:08,720
Speaker 5: Yeah, and I guarantee you. The parents are also like,

583
00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:10,439
Speaker 5: don't compare yourself to your sister.

584
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:13,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, right, so you're in different you're on difference.

585
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:16,400
Speaker 5: Look at you you're you're doing so well on your own.

586
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:17,520
Speaker 5: She's struggling.

587
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:18,720
Speaker 2: Don't compare yourself.

588
00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:21,479
Speaker 5: Come on, you should just be happy you got something.

589
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:24,320
Speaker 4: A lot of you told me I wasn't being petty

590
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:27,840
Speaker 4: and that the favoritism was real. I needed to hear that.

591
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:29,400
Speaker 4: Here's what happened.

592
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:30,280
Speaker 3: Ooh.

593
00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:33,720
Speaker 4: I sided to talk to my dad directly. He usually

594
00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:36,359
Speaker 4: stays out of things like this, but I thought maybe

595
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:39,040
Speaker 4: one on one he'd be honest with me. I asked

596
00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:41,400
Speaker 4: him to meet me for coffee yesterday and I laid

597
00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:44,399
Speaker 4: it all out, the differences in gifts, the years of

598
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:47,360
Speaker 4: feeling like Elsa got more support than I did, and

599
00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:52,080
Speaker 4: the she struggled more justification that basically punishes me for

600
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:55,240
Speaker 4: being responsible. He was quiet for a long time and

601
00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:58,160
Speaker 4: he said something that broke me. Your mother and I

602
00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:01,719
Speaker 4: always knew you'd be fine. You're the strong one. Elsa

603
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:03,760
Speaker 4: needs help. That's just how it is.

604
00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:06,159
Speaker 3: It is such a parent logic, I think, or at

605
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:08,920
Speaker 3: least these you know, I see the logic that they

606
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:13,040
Speaker 3: think is right. But as a child, to hear that

607
00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:16,640
Speaker 3: and just, you know, not have them understand that that

608
00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:18,840
Speaker 3: is blatant favoritism is so frustrating.

609
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:23,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, like, who doesn't want yeah, forty five sweet corner,

610
00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:25,080
Speaker 4: I don't want forty five sweeth corners. Neglect.

611
00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:28,280
Speaker 3: It's like having like two kids and one of them

612
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:32,320
Speaker 3: can tactically, you know, cook or something or knows how to,

613
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:35,439
Speaker 3: but so the mom only ever makes or like the

614
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:38,320
Speaker 3: parent like mom or dad only ever makes food for

615
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:41,400
Speaker 3: food for that point, yeah, yeah, and it's like, yeah,

616
00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:44,840
Speaker 3: I can technically cook a meal, but like, can't we

617
00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:45,800
Speaker 3: just make food for everyone?

618
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:51,400
Speaker 4: Give them support with time an effort, not just financial.

619
00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:53,160
Speaker 3: Like that one kid only knows how to make like

620
00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:54,240
Speaker 3: eggs and that's it.

621
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:56,560
Speaker 4: I'm the strong one, so I guess I get less

622
00:28:56,600 --> 00:28:58,520
Speaker 4: because they decided when I was a kid that I

623
00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:02,040
Speaker 4: didn't need them the same way Elsa needs him. I

624
00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:05,360
Speaker 4: asked him, if you realize that being strong meant I

625
00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:08,680
Speaker 4: just stopped asking for help because I knew I would

626
00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:11,280
Speaker 4: get it. I worked twenty five hours a week through

627
00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:15,840
Speaker 4: university while Elsa's part time job was too stressful, so

628
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:19,280
Speaker 4: they covered her expenses. That I've been financially independent since

629
00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:22,480
Speaker 4: I was twenty two, but they still paid Elsa's phone bill.

630
00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:27,160
Speaker 4: He looked uncomfortable and said he never thought about it

631
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:30,640
Speaker 4: that way. That's the problem. They never thought about it

632
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:31,040
Speaker 4: at all.

633
00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:35,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, that's an issue. They're also kind of allowing Elsa.

634
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:38,480
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, you know they're not benefiting Elsa by giving

635
00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:41,120
Speaker 3: her all of these hands hand out, oh, just because

636
00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:41,920
Speaker 3: she's having trouble.

637
00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:42,160
Speaker 2: Yeah.

638
00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:45,040
Speaker 5: I questioned them, and like, when are you gonna stop this?

639
00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:47,120
Speaker 5: Then you gonna keep doing this until this is gonna

640
00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 5: be until you guys pass away, and then when you

641
00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:51,280
Speaker 5: guys pass away, what's she gonna do?

642
00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:53,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, doesn't make sense, not helping anyone.

643
00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:56,440
Speaker 5: I hate it's helping Elsa in the short run, but

644
00:29:56,520 --> 00:29:58,240
Speaker 5: in the long run and not doing anything.

645
00:29:58,360 --> 00:30:02,840
Speaker 3: Serenity Horse France says it's enabling incompetence. This is my sister.

646
00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:03,960
Speaker 3: Ooh rough.

647
00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:07,480
Speaker 4: I told him I wasn't angry about the money specifically,

648
00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:11,600
Speaker 4: I was angry about what it represented a live time

649
00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:15,200
Speaker 4: of being the kid they didn't worry about, which translated

650
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 4: into being the kid they didn't invest in. He said

651
00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:20,960
Speaker 4: he talked to my mom last night. My mom called.

652
00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:24,920
Speaker 4: I thought maybe she'd apologize, maybe my dad got through

653
00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:28,280
Speaker 4: to her. Instead, she said I had upset your father

654
00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:31,800
Speaker 4: by making him feel guilty and that I needed to

655
00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:36,360
Speaker 4: let this go. Because it was ruining Elsa's celebration.

656
00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:39,400
Speaker 5: It is don't compare yourself, don't bring this up.

657
00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:43,480
Speaker 4: Elsa's celebration still not about me at all. I told

658
00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:46,000
Speaker 4: my mom I needed some space and I loved them,

659
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:48,760
Speaker 4: but I couldn't pretend this didn't hurt. She said I

660
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:52,080
Speaker 4: was being dramatic and holding your grudge over money, that

661
00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:55,720
Speaker 4: she raised me better than this. I haven't responded. I

662
00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:57,080
Speaker 4: don't know what to say. I don't even know what

663
00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:59,960
Speaker 4: they raised you. Man, it sounded like you raised yourself.

664
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:01,840
Speaker 3: Oh, like you figured all of this out, and then

665
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:03,840
Speaker 3: she comes to you and has the audacity to say

666
00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:07,040
Speaker 3: you made your father feel guilty? Does she know what

667
00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:10,320
Speaker 3: guilt means? Means that he knows he did something wrong.

668
00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:14,960
Speaker 4: It feels like OP got the fundamentals of being like

669
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:18,040
Speaker 4: an adult. Yeah, pretty relatively quickly. Yeah, But you can

670
00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:22,400
Speaker 4: still support your child that understands those fundamentals in other ways. Yeah,

671
00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:24,560
Speaker 4: and you have a great opportunity to do that. It

672
00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:27,160
Speaker 4: sounds like you guys got another forty five thousand Swedish

673
00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:27,880
Speaker 4: calling her somewhere.

674
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:29,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's use that.

675
00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:32,600
Speaker 4: I know you Swedish people got homes and Airbnb's out

676
00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:35,600
Speaker 4: there that's what Leon had his parents run that, that's

677
00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:36,040
Speaker 4: what he did.

678
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:39,760
Speaker 5: Those are very different, Riley. Swiss and Swedish people are

679
00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:40,640
Speaker 5: very different.

680
00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:42,520
Speaker 4: It's snowy where he is.

681
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:44,080
Speaker 2: Snows in both of them. Brother.

682
00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:47,520
Speaker 4: Oh wait Switzerland and Sweden. Yeah, that's two different places.

683
00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:47,840
Speaker 1: Guys.

684
00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:49,840
Speaker 4: Wait, what do you call Swedish people?

685
00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:54,000
Speaker 2: Swedish? Swiss people? Swiss?

686
00:31:57,400 --> 00:31:58,000
Speaker 4: Oh? Man?

687
00:31:58,200 --> 00:31:58,520
Speaker 2: Wow?

688
00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:03,160
Speaker 4: Wow, you learned something new every day, guys, you really do.

689
00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:04,960
Speaker 4: Elsa texted me this morning.

690
00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:07,480
Speaker 3: She's probably like, stop trying to get them to take

691
00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:08,240
Speaker 3: my money away.

692
00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:11,120
Speaker 4: She said, Mom told me you're upset about the money thing.

693
00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:13,840
Speaker 4: I didn't ask them for it, they offered. It's not

694
00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:15,960
Speaker 4: my fault. They wanted to do something nice for me.

695
00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:20,680
Speaker 4: She's right up, girl, she didn't ask, but she also

696
00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:24,960
Speaker 4: didn't acknowledge that the discrepancy is real or my feelings

697
00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:28,400
Speaker 4: are valid. Just more so, are you feel that way energy.

698
00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:31,120
Speaker 3: Sor you don't like that I'm rich? She'd probably going

699
00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:31,960
Speaker 3: to Japan too.

700
00:32:32,080 --> 00:32:33,719
Speaker 4: But still going to Japan.

701
00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:37,320
Speaker 3: Nice. Yeah, I feel like Elsa's gotta show up too

702
00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:39,040
Speaker 3: and be like, well, I had the money too.

703
00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:42,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm so proud of myself for saving that amount

704
00:32:42,360 --> 00:32:45,960
Speaker 4: of money on my own, but something I shifted. I

705
00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:49,600
Speaker 4: think I finally see my family clearly, and I don't

706
00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:51,920
Speaker 4: know if I can unsee it. We have a little

707
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:55,120
Speaker 4: bit more from op I'll be commented right after the post.

708
00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:57,480
Speaker 4: Something my dad keeps echoing in my head is you're

709
00:32:57,480 --> 00:33:00,640
Speaker 4: the strong one. I've heard versions of that my whole life.

710
00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:03,880
Speaker 4: You're so independent, you always figure it out. We never

711
00:33:03,920 --> 00:33:06,360
Speaker 4: have to worry about you. I used to think this

712
00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:09,800
Speaker 4: was a compliment. Now I realize it was just an excuse.

713
00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:13,080
Speaker 4: We don't have to pair at you to say.

714
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:14,960
Speaker 3: It's like, yeah, we don't have to like acknowledge you.

715
00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:16,640
Speaker 2: They're literally saying we don't like you.

716
00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:20,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.

717
00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:22,320
Speaker 3: Vincea says, we know you can handle the glect better.

718
00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:26,320
Speaker 4: Browley is true a way to justify giving me less, attention,

719
00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:31,080
Speaker 4: less support, less money, less everything. I wasn't born strong.

720
00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:34,960
Speaker 4: I became strong because I had no other choice, preaching

721
00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:39,120
Speaker 4: because every time I needed something, Elsa needed it more.

722
00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:42,200
Speaker 4: Because I learned early that my problems were less important

723
00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:47,320
Speaker 4: than hers. Wild wild ob dang Man, crazy story. But

724
00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:51,040
Speaker 4: we all love a good golden child complex in a family.

725
00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:52,800
Speaker 2: Who's the golden child in your family?

726
00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:55,280
Speaker 4: I think writer. I used to be, but then I moved.

727
00:33:55,880 --> 00:33:56,960
Speaker 3: You lost the Golden Child.

728
00:33:57,000 --> 00:34:01,200
Speaker 5: Okay, you know that one. Okay, Sophia, I don't think no,

729
00:34:02,760 --> 00:34:05,800
Speaker 5: come on, we know your dad's your dad's favorite.

730
00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:07,920
Speaker 3: I have a dad's favorite.

731
00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:08,880
Speaker 2: True or false.

732
00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:09,480
Speaker 3: I don't think so.

733
00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:13,160
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't think they. They just say that, Vincent.

734
00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:14,480
Speaker 2: I kind of think it's me.

735
00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:24,040
Speaker 3: But we've got another story to read.

736
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:29,120
Speaker 1: Oh boy, guess what we got. We got our slash

737
00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:34,759
Speaker 1: Okay story Time Exclusive. Hey, this is Sam, this is John,

738
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:38,320
Speaker 1: and we are the founding hosts of Okay Storytime Podcast,

739
00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:41,040
Speaker 1: and we have some foundational stories coming up for you.

740
00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:44,000
Speaker 1: But the thing is, this foundation needs a little support

741
00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:47,279
Speaker 1: from these sponsors. So stick around two minutes and we'll

742
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:51,400
Speaker 1: get into the episode. I was excluded from my sister's

743
00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:53,200
Speaker 1: wedding to watch the dogs.

744
00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:54,920
Speaker 3: Well, someone's gotta do it.

745
00:34:55,040 --> 00:35:02,120
Speaker 1: Someone's gonna let them out. Woo or female. My sister

746
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:06,319
Speaker 1: thirty things female. Have always had a difficult relationship. We

747
00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:10,160
Speaker 1: were born twenty one months apart. It's like double Irish twins,

748
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:14,880
Speaker 1: and fought so badly as kids, typically sibling stuff. Mostly,

749
00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:17,080
Speaker 1: I always looked up to my sister and kind of

750
00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:19,960
Speaker 1: wanted to be just like her. By the way, this

751
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:23,440
Speaker 1: comes from a throway account on the r slash okay

752
00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:25,560
Speaker 1: story time stubreddit, and if you want to submit your

753
00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:28,720
Speaker 1: own stories, go to that subreddit. I'm Sam, I'm Sophia,

754
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:31,840
Speaker 1: I'm ke On, and we're here to give good advice goofily.

755
00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:34,320
Speaker 1: But we do not have all the answers. Do you

756
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:35,239
Speaker 1: dare think we do?

757
00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:35,879
Speaker 3: We don't.

758
00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:37,560
Speaker 1: We only know what we would do. So if you

759
00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:39,359
Speaker 1: want to let us know what you would do, put

760
00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:40,799
Speaker 1: your answers in the comments so we can read them

761
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:44,680
Speaker 1: judge us. As Op says, I would be the typical

762
00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:48,239
Speaker 1: annoying little sister. I've never been that who wanted to

763
00:35:48,400 --> 00:35:50,879
Speaker 1: hang out with her and her friends whenever she had

764
00:35:50,920 --> 00:35:54,880
Speaker 1: friends over. I we like hanging out with her, banks out.

765
00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:58,359
Speaker 1: She did it really want me around her friends, so

766
00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:01,319
Speaker 1: things were always tense between us. She would pick on

767
00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:03,360
Speaker 1: me at school in front of her friends.

768
00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:04,360
Speaker 5: Yeah, how dare you?

769
00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:08,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, so if anyone was picking on me, it was.

770
00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:10,360
Speaker 5: Like, I have a room you don't stores.

771
00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:14,520
Speaker 1: But in the same breath, defend me. If anyone else joined.

772
00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:20,240
Speaker 3: In, classic yeah that's my sibling. Yeah, shut up about

773
00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:20,880
Speaker 3: my brother.

774
00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:23,400
Speaker 2: What I.

775
00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:27,839
Speaker 1: Can say what I want to my sister, but you

776
00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:30,720
Speaker 1: can't say that is basically what she would tell them.

777
00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:34,120
Speaker 1: Even into our twenties, our relationship remained the same, me

778
00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:36,680
Speaker 1: just wanting to spend time with my sister and she

779
00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:41,359
Speaker 1: resenting me for it. My parents always took her side. Yes,

780
00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:43,840
Speaker 1: she is the golden child and can do no wrong

781
00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:46,239
Speaker 1: in my parents' eyes. Both my sister and I have

782
00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:50,279
Speaker 1: been married in divorce. We both unfortunately chose bad men

783
00:36:50,719 --> 00:36:53,319
Speaker 1: to attach ourselves to and then had to escape. My

784
00:36:53,360 --> 00:36:56,040
Speaker 1: sister got married not long after graduating high school. When

785
00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:58,319
Speaker 1: she told me she was getting married, she asked me

786
00:36:58,440 --> 00:37:01,719
Speaker 1: to be involved in the wedding. Involved in what way?

787
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:03,799
Speaker 1: I want you to be involved by walking out the

788
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:05,200
Speaker 1: door and never coming back.

789
00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:07,720
Speaker 3: I want you to be involved in the cleanup.

790
00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:09,920
Speaker 1: I want you to be involved in the wedding, actually

791
00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:12,040
Speaker 1: so much. I want you to be married too. I

792
00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:14,080
Speaker 1: want you to marry this guy. He is such a

793
00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:16,880
Speaker 1: bad guy. I would be the beta test. They weren't

794
00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:20,359
Speaker 1: having any bridesmaids or grooms men, so she asked if

795
00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:23,400
Speaker 1: I would help my parents decorate and take pictures. I

796
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:28,200
Speaker 1: gladly accepted and would do anything for her, no matter

797
00:37:28,239 --> 00:37:31,600
Speaker 1: Our difficult relationship. I've always and will always love my

798
00:37:31,719 --> 00:37:34,560
Speaker 1: sister fiercely and would do anything for her. Her marriage

799
00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:38,600
Speaker 1: ended and she met her now husband shortly thereafter. O truly,

800
00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:44,160
Speaker 1: he is absolutely perfect for her. Any overlap, Yeah, that's

801
00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:45,800
Speaker 1: the real question, any overlap.

802
00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:47,760
Speaker 3: How involved was he in the last bunny?

803
00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:50,920
Speaker 1: Ooh, I think it was right smack dab in the middle.

804
00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:55,680
Speaker 1: But that's just me projecting my own thoughts thoughts into

805
00:37:55,719 --> 00:37:58,480
Speaker 1: this situation, not myself, but not myself. I'm not the

806
00:37:58,520 --> 00:37:59,960
Speaker 1: meat in the middle. Actually, I have been the meat

807
00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:03,680
Speaker 1: in the middle once what not intentionally? Okay, I was

808
00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:06,560
Speaker 1: unintentional meet in the middle, oh man, I could not

809
00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:08,760
Speaker 1: ask for a better man to be with my sister.

810
00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:11,040
Speaker 1: I love my brother in law dearly and love how

811
00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:14,319
Speaker 1: great he treats her. At this point, our relationship was

812
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:17,920
Speaker 1: still pretty strained. I got hurt over and over again

813
00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:21,680
Speaker 1: by her and my parents. She would come visit my

814
00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:24,880
Speaker 1: parents while I still lived there, and it really hurts

815
00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:28,840
Speaker 1: to see how differently they've treated us. Several times I

816
00:38:28,880 --> 00:38:30,560
Speaker 1: would be in my room giving my sister and brother

817
00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:32,160
Speaker 1: in a lot of time with my parents, only to

818
00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:35,200
Speaker 1: come out to find them getting ready to leave. To

819
00:38:35,239 --> 00:38:38,400
Speaker 1: go do something with my parents out even telling me

820
00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:42,719
Speaker 1: or offering me to go, that's so sad, unincluded.

821
00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:45,240
Speaker 3: I'd be like, if I went to Stranger Things Finale

822
00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:47,200
Speaker 3: without you and didn't even tell you.

823
00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:48,280
Speaker 1: That would be terrible.

824
00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:48,920
Speaker 3: That'd be terrible.

825
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:51,120
Speaker 1: That would be terrible, which apparently in the theaters we're

826
00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:53,000
Speaker 1: gonna go see it, Yeah we are. If I asked

827
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:54,920
Speaker 1: where they were going and if I could go, everyone

828
00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:58,400
Speaker 1: would be really mad at me and begrudgingly let me

829
00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:01,480
Speaker 1: go with them. It really hurt to see how unwanted

830
00:39:01,520 --> 00:39:02,520
Speaker 1: I was during those times.

831
00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:04,520
Speaker 5: They don't like you so sad.

832
00:39:04,719 --> 00:39:06,719
Speaker 1: When I left my ex husband in twenty twenty, I

833
00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:09,480
Speaker 1: was really surprised that my sister was truly there for me.

834
00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:12,319
Speaker 1: She understood what I was going through, having been through

835
00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:15,359
Speaker 1: it herself, and genuinely just wanted to help. Ever since,

836
00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:18,560
Speaker 1: our relationship has been great. We video chat almost every

837
00:39:18,600 --> 00:39:21,560
Speaker 1: day and finally have that sister bond that had been

838
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:25,719
Speaker 1: wanting all my life. On to the issue, Oh boy,

839
00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:29,040
Speaker 1: oh man, that wasn't the issue. This is is the

840
00:39:29,120 --> 00:39:32,839
Speaker 1: issue my sister and my brother in law's wedding. That's

841
00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:36,520
Speaker 1: the issue. I was still living with parents at this time.

842
00:39:37,040 --> 00:39:39,400
Speaker 1: My sister and brother in law had already gotten engaged,

843
00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:41,280
Speaker 1: but did it seem keen on the idea of getting

844
00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:44,200
Speaker 1: married again. My brother in law has also been married

845
00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:47,080
Speaker 1: and divorced before, so it was a mutual decision between them.

846
00:39:47,239 --> 00:39:49,440
Speaker 1: We were planning a family vacations to the beach that

847
00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:51,839
Speaker 1: was supposed to include me, my parents, my sister, and

848
00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:54,520
Speaker 1: brother in law. Nothing was reserved or paid for yet,

849
00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:56,960
Speaker 1: but locations were picked in date set. One night, my

850
00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:59,359
Speaker 1: mom and sister were talking about the vacation and my

851
00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:02,759
Speaker 1: mom asked if she could throw a small wedding while

852
00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:04,759
Speaker 1: at the beach for my sister and brother in law.

853
00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:06,759
Speaker 1: They talked for a bit and my sister and brother

854
00:40:06,760 --> 00:40:11,400
Speaker 1: in law agreed. Wedding planning started right then. I had

855
00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:13,799
Speaker 1: no clue this was going on.

856
00:40:14,440 --> 00:40:18,560
Speaker 3: Dang, they really don't like you. That's so sad.

857
00:40:18,719 --> 00:40:20,520
Speaker 1: I don't like you. I know, clues is going on.

858
00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:22,320
Speaker 1: I got a message from my sister next day telling

859
00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:24,879
Speaker 1: me about the wedding. I was so excited for her.

860
00:40:25,239 --> 00:40:29,520
Speaker 1: Her next message crushed me. Will you stay home and

861
00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:30,439
Speaker 1: watch the dog?

862
00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:35,560
Speaker 3: Oh man, what a punch in the stomach. Geez Jesus, think,

863
00:40:35,640 --> 00:40:37,040
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, you're getting married.

864
00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:40,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you you're gonna look at the dogs. You're

865
00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:43,200
Speaker 1: gonna be married to the job looking at some dogs.

866
00:40:43,760 --> 00:40:45,200
Speaker 1: I'm throwing you a bone here.

867
00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:47,759
Speaker 3: I am not looking after your dog, so you can

868
00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:49,319
Speaker 3: get married without me there.

869
00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:52,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, this is I think this is a little

870
00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:55,439
Speaker 1: a little ridiculous, right, I mean, I think Op wants

871
00:40:55,440 --> 00:40:58,000
Speaker 1: to share and all the love of her family, and

872
00:40:58,040 --> 00:41:02,560
Speaker 1: the family is consistently excluding her. That's terrible. Yeah, it's terrible.

873
00:41:03,080 --> 00:41:04,799
Speaker 1: I told her that I really wanted to be there

874
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:06,880
Speaker 1: for her and I didn't want to miss her wedding

875
00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:09,799
Speaker 1: or the vacation. She got really mad. I walked out

876
00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:11,560
Speaker 1: of my room to talk to my mom. When I

877
00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:14,200
Speaker 1: opened my door, my mom shot me a passing glare

878
00:41:14,239 --> 00:41:16,600
Speaker 1: from the couch. I tried to tell her I wanted

879
00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:18,840
Speaker 1: to be there for my sister. I was crying and

880
00:41:18,880 --> 00:41:21,960
Speaker 1: I was devastated. My parents were livid with me. They

881
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:24,760
Speaker 1: called me selfish and unreasonable, asking how could I expect

882
00:41:24,800 --> 00:41:27,720
Speaker 1: them to take all three dogs with us.

883
00:41:27,560 --> 00:41:30,440
Speaker 3: It's not even saying oh, he's just saying, like, can

884
00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:32,360
Speaker 3: we find someone else to watch?

885
00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:35,160
Speaker 1: There are dogs dog sit In fact, not only.

886
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:36,520
Speaker 3: Are their dog sitters website.

887
00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:39,239
Speaker 1: There's a website where you can list your home for

888
00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:42,400
Speaker 1: people to stay at your house for free and for

889
00:41:42,520 --> 00:41:45,400
Speaker 1: them to mind your dogs for free. Yeah, it's called

890
00:41:45,719 --> 00:41:47,040
Speaker 1: dog swap or something.

891
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:48,359
Speaker 3: So you wouldn't even have had to pay.

892
00:41:48,880 --> 00:41:52,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, like, there's plenty of options here. My parents had

893
00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:56,680
Speaker 1: two dogs, one very elderly needing daily medication. All those

894
00:41:56,680 --> 00:41:59,160
Speaker 1: are the kind of the dogs that need like anal medication.

895
00:41:59,320 --> 00:42:01,520
Speaker 3: I looked out after a really really old dog that

896
00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:03,440
Speaker 3: needed like ten different medications.

897
00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:04,640
Speaker 1: Did I have to did you have to put it

898
00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:07,160
Speaker 1: in the butt? No? No, okay, I feel like old

899
00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:08,840
Speaker 1: dogs need like butt medications.

900
00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:12,400
Speaker 3: Of this dog, this dog, but it would pee everywhere

901
00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:14,960
Speaker 3: it would pee. I would constantly be stepping in like

902
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:15,880
Speaker 3: puddles of pea that I.

903
00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:17,840
Speaker 1: Because he didn't minister the butt medication.

904
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:20,200
Speaker 3: It was to the point where, like every morning at

905
00:42:20,239 --> 00:42:22,080
Speaker 3: five because I had to take care of that dog

906
00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:24,560
Speaker 3: and two giant labs. And it was to the point

907
00:42:24,560 --> 00:42:26,839
Speaker 3: where like I had to sleep with all the dogs

908
00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:30,280
Speaker 3: because otherwise they would bark. So like that dog slept

909
00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:31,920
Speaker 3: on the bed and I was told that I had

910
00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:33,600
Speaker 3: to sleep on the bed and in the morning it

911
00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:35,480
Speaker 3: would wake me up at five in the morning to

912
00:42:35,520 --> 00:42:37,120
Speaker 3: go out to the bathroom, and so I would wake

913
00:42:37,239 --> 00:42:40,480
Speaker 3: up and literally like put the dog off the bed

914
00:42:41,040 --> 00:42:43,360
Speaker 3: to go and take him outside, and he would just

915
00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:44,160
Speaker 3: pee in the corner.

916
00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:44,640
Speaker 4: Well.

917
00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:47,839
Speaker 1: So basically one is elderly needing daily medication. My sister

918
00:42:47,840 --> 00:42:49,960
Speaker 1: had a dog that went into heat while we were

919
00:42:49,960 --> 00:42:51,600
Speaker 1: gone with no supplies for her.

920
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:53,000
Speaker 3: Dang, that's tough.

921
00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:53,960
Speaker 2: She probably knew it.

922
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:55,719
Speaker 1: Too, so he wanted me to stay home with the

923
00:42:55,760 --> 00:42:58,360
Speaker 1: three dogs alone for a week. Also, with my mental health,

924
00:42:58,440 --> 00:43:00,480
Speaker 1: it's well known that I don't do well i'm alone

925
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:04,360
Speaker 1: for long periods. I felt extremely pressured, with everyone so

926
00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:06,920
Speaker 1: mad at me, I caved and stayed home. I cried

927
00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:10,279
Speaker 1: that entire week. I never felt so unwanted to my

928
00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:12,480
Speaker 1: own family. I just wanted to be there to help

929
00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:15,440
Speaker 1: celebrate my sister and brother in law's love and marriage.

930
00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:18,160
Speaker 1: I was absolutely crushed, and no one cared. It's been

931
00:43:18,200 --> 00:43:21,240
Speaker 1: I think eleven years since their wedding. Oh wow, eleven years.

932
00:43:21,400 --> 00:43:23,400
Speaker 1: My sister and I have not really spoken about this

933
00:43:23,480 --> 00:43:25,719
Speaker 1: because I don't want to ruin the great relationship we

934
00:43:25,760 --> 00:43:29,440
Speaker 1: have now, but this still weighs heavily on me. Anytime

935
00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:32,319
Speaker 1: anyone brings up her wedding. I'm right back in those

936
00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:35,440
Speaker 1: feelings of abandonment and oppression. I don't know if I'll

937
00:43:35,480 --> 00:43:37,400
Speaker 1: ever get past this. It just hurts so much. I

938
00:43:37,440 --> 00:43:39,680
Speaker 1: love my sister so much, but it has never felt

939
00:43:39,719 --> 00:43:42,160
Speaker 1: like the love is reciprocated. So what should I do?

940
00:43:42,360 --> 00:43:44,560
Speaker 1: Should I have the tough conversation with my sister about

941
00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:46,600
Speaker 1: how I feel about her wedding? Should I just try

942
00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:49,319
Speaker 1: to let it go as it was eleven years ago

943
00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:51,840
Speaker 1: and just enjoy the relationship I have now with my sister?

944
00:43:52,239 --> 00:43:53,480
Speaker 1: What should I do?

945
00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:54,080
Speaker 3: You should?

946
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:55,280
Speaker 1: And there's an update?

947
00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:57,920
Speaker 5: Sure, man, I don't know. If you bring something from

948
00:43:57,960 --> 00:44:00,719
Speaker 5: eleven years ago, she's still feeling.

949
00:44:01,960 --> 00:44:03,200
Speaker 2: The sister's gonna not care at all.

950
00:44:03,200 --> 00:44:05,839
Speaker 1: Oh she might not if they have a good relationship now,

951
00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:08,439
Speaker 1: maybe I think give your sister a chance to care.

952
00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:11,920
Speaker 3: I think that, like, you are still feeling those emotions

953
00:44:11,960 --> 00:44:14,520
Speaker 3: and still feeling that hurt. If you don't bring it up,

954
00:44:14,560 --> 00:44:16,560
Speaker 3: you're gonna keep feeling it, and it's gonna make your

955
00:44:16,560 --> 00:44:17,960
Speaker 3: relationship that you have now.

956
00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:21,239
Speaker 1: If you are like, let's say it's all good on

957
00:44:21,280 --> 00:44:23,640
Speaker 1: her side, the relationship is damaged on your side. If

958
00:44:23,640 --> 00:44:25,920
Speaker 1: you're feeling this every time it's brought up, so like,

959
00:44:26,480 --> 00:44:28,920
Speaker 1: you know, give her the chance to try to make

960
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:29,200
Speaker 1: it right.

961
00:44:29,520 --> 00:44:31,200
Speaker 5: If it is eating I mean, we don't know how

962
00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:32,719
Speaker 5: the response is gonna be. But if this has been

963
00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:36,600
Speaker 5: eating away at you for eleven years, you gotta.

964
00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:37,000
Speaker 2: Get it off here.

965
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:38,440
Speaker 5: You got to take it off and get this off

966
00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:40,960
Speaker 5: your chest, yeah, your back, whatever, you gotta get this off.

967
00:44:41,040 --> 00:44:43,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, I got that. Put that old dog to rest,

968
00:44:44,040 --> 00:44:45,680
Speaker 1: Let sleeping dogs lie.

969
00:44:46,040 --> 00:44:48,960
Speaker 2: Well yeah, I was gonna say that's leaving the way.

970
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:55,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the wrong. Why he's got to go more

971
00:44:55,480 --> 00:44:59,520
Speaker 1: like like like put the dog your rest is in, Like, no,

972
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:02,480
Speaker 1: you know it doesn't work, doesn't work. Wake wake your

973
00:45:02,480 --> 00:45:05,480
Speaker 1: dogs up, Wake your dog up. Don't let one dog

974
00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:08,879
Speaker 1: sleep in this town. But sir, we got an update. Hey,

975
00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:11,120
Speaker 1: this is Sam, this is John, and we are the

976
00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:14,600
Speaker 1: founding hosts of Okay Storytime Podcasts.

977
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:16,799
Speaker 2: And we have some foundational stories coming up for you.

978
00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:19,800
Speaker 1: But the thing is, this foundation needs a little support

979
00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:23,120
Speaker 1: from these sponsors. So stick around two minutes and we'll

980
00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:26,000
Speaker 1: get into the episode. I talked to my sister this morning.

981
00:45:26,239 --> 00:45:28,719
Speaker 1: I told her how everything involving her wedding went down.

982
00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:32,120
Speaker 1: From my point of view, I was crying the whole time.

983
00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:35,120
Speaker 1: The more I spoke, the angrier she got, not with me,

984
00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:38,080
Speaker 1: but with our mom.

985
00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:41,399
Speaker 3: Did her mom lie, see this is what you got

986
00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:44,640
Speaker 3: to bring things up? Not eleven years later, Yeah, this

987
00:45:44,680 --> 00:45:46,480
Speaker 3: is a lesson because we're I think we're about.

988
00:45:46,239 --> 00:45:47,160
Speaker 2: To find out and learn it.

989
00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:51,160
Speaker 3: We find out some dirty, some dirty secrets about those

990
00:45:51,200 --> 00:45:52,600
Speaker 3: dogs that were sleeping.

991
00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:54,920
Speaker 1: Yep, sleeping dogs that are about to be woken up.

992
00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:57,359
Speaker 3: And I think this is a lesson to always bring

993
00:45:57,440 --> 00:46:00,759
Speaker 3: up those feelings of anger and resentment so that they

994
00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:01,480
Speaker 3: don't fester.

995
00:46:01,840 --> 00:46:05,120
Speaker 1: Yep. A fester and angers is a worse anger. That's

996
00:46:05,120 --> 00:46:06,200
Speaker 1: what they say, what.

997
00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:06,799
Speaker 3: They always say.

998
00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:09,120
Speaker 1: My sister was told by our mother that I was

999
00:46:09,160 --> 00:46:11,600
Speaker 1: already okay with staying home with the dogs, that I

1000
00:46:11,680 --> 00:46:14,560
Speaker 1: just needed to be officially asked, but would you want

1001
00:46:14,600 --> 00:46:15,560
Speaker 1: your sister to be there?

1002
00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:16,120
Speaker 5: Yeah?

1003
00:46:16,160 --> 00:46:16,920
Speaker 3: I would have been.

1004
00:46:16,800 --> 00:46:19,680
Speaker 1: Like regardless, I'm like what Honestly.

1005
00:46:19,520 --> 00:46:22,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, No, I would have talked to her and said like, hey,

1006
00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:24,239
Speaker 3: you know, I know you said that you're okay with,

1007
00:46:24,760 --> 00:46:26,840
Speaker 3: you know, staying with the dogs, but I want you

1008
00:46:26,920 --> 00:46:27,359
Speaker 3: to be there.

1009
00:46:27,480 --> 00:46:27,640
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1010
00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:31,680
Speaker 3: I called I call that caw b X ridiculous.

1011
00:46:31,880 --> 00:46:34,560
Speaker 1: I think those sleeping dogs are still sleeping.

1012
00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:35,840
Speaker 3: Thin Those sleeping dogs are lying.

1013
00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:40,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, ooh that they are. So she was never told that.

1014
00:46:40,719 --> 00:46:42,640
Speaker 1: I was never okay with the idea. She said, if

1015
00:46:42,640 --> 00:46:44,640
Speaker 1: it was a matter of not enough room for me,

1016
00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:47,640
Speaker 1: she would have booted out their friend to make room

1017
00:46:47,640 --> 00:46:49,960
Speaker 1: for me. She told me that no matter how our

1018
00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:53,640
Speaker 1: relationship was at the time, she absolutely did want me there.

1019
00:46:53,920 --> 00:46:55,840
Speaker 1: She said she was very disappointed with our mother. So

1020
00:46:55,880 --> 00:46:58,040
Speaker 1: now I'm stuck. I'm very glad I talked to my sister.

1021
00:46:58,040 --> 00:47:00,000
Speaker 1: I feel much better now, but my sister and I

1022
00:47:00,040 --> 00:47:02,359
Speaker 1: are left with a lot of questions that only our

1023
00:47:02,440 --> 00:47:05,719
Speaker 1: mother knows the answers to. Here we are days away

1024
00:47:05,719 --> 00:47:08,080
Speaker 1: from Thanksgiving, where both my sister and I will be

1025
00:47:08,120 --> 00:47:11,160
Speaker 1: celebrating at my parents' house. There could be another update

1026
00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:15,960
Speaker 1: waiting for us in our slash okay storytime.

1027
00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:18,160
Speaker 5: The best time to bring up family drama?

1028
00:47:18,320 --> 00:47:19,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, you could find out?

1029
00:47:19,680 --> 00:47:22,960
Speaker 1: Yeah you want? Can you look? I really want to

1030
00:47:22,960 --> 00:47:25,840
Speaker 1: bring it up after the Thanksgiving meal when it's just

1031
00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:28,560
Speaker 1: my parents, my fiance, myself, and my sister. But my

1032
00:47:28,640 --> 00:47:30,880
Speaker 1: sister is staying with my parents for a few days,

1033
00:47:31,040 --> 00:47:33,120
Speaker 1: so she wants me to wait. I totally understand. I

1034
00:47:33,120 --> 00:47:35,319
Speaker 1: don't want to put her in an uncomfortable situation with

1035
00:47:35,360 --> 00:47:37,320
Speaker 1: her parents. I am at least very glad that my

1036
00:47:37,360 --> 00:47:40,200
Speaker 1: sister understands how I feel and isn't happy about how

1037
00:47:40,239 --> 00:47:43,400
Speaker 1: this went down either is completely on my side about this,

1038
00:47:43,760 --> 00:47:45,920
Speaker 1: and that is enough for me for now.

1039
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:48,240
Speaker 3: And that's maybe the end of the story.

1040
00:47:48,440 --> 00:47:51,640
Speaker 1: That's maybe the end of the story unless no update,

1041
00:47:52,040 --> 00:47:56,080
Speaker 1: no update on our slash. Okay, story time, but hopie,

1042
00:47:56,280 --> 00:47:58,680
Speaker 1: if you want to submit the update, let us know.

1043
00:47:59,200 --> 00:47:59,719
Speaker 2: That'd be great.

1044
00:47:59,760 --> 00:47:59,960
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1045
00:48:00,239 --> 00:48:02,200
Speaker 5: Maybe maybe they're working on it. Maybe they're still working

1046
00:48:02,239 --> 00:48:03,120
Speaker 5: off the turkey.

1047
00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:05,319
Speaker 3: You have until the end of the comments comments from

1048
00:48:05,360 --> 00:48:08,560
Speaker 3: the video. My fiance is furious that I'm asking to

1049
00:48:08,640 --> 00:48:12,279
Speaker 3: celebrate our marriage and this was posted November twenty one,

1050
00:48:12,440 --> 00:48:13,200
Speaker 3: twenty twenty five.

1051
00:48:13,280 --> 00:48:14,600
Speaker 1: Okay, so we're reading some comments.

1052
00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:17,960
Speaker 3: Opi and her fiance argued about buying a house versus

1053
00:48:18,040 --> 00:48:21,840
Speaker 3: having a wedding. She just wanted a small way to

1054
00:48:21,920 --> 00:48:25,279
Speaker 3: celebrate signing the marriage papers, but he screamed at her,

1055
00:48:25,640 --> 00:48:29,400
Speaker 3: called her names, and refused therapy. After repeated fights and

1056
00:48:29,440 --> 00:48:32,880
Speaker 3: emotional abuse, op he moved out, documented everything, and ultimately

1057
00:48:32,920 --> 00:48:36,239
Speaker 3: broke up. She realized his anger and controlling behavior were

1058
00:48:36,360 --> 00:48:38,680
Speaker 3: toxic and staying wasn't safer.

1059
00:48:39,080 --> 00:48:42,160
Speaker 1: That is crazy that you realize that on the precipice

1060
00:48:42,200 --> 00:48:45,560
Speaker 1: of buying a house slash getting marriage. Thank goodness, thank goodness,

1061
00:48:45,600 --> 00:48:46,200
Speaker 1: you didn't do that.

1062
00:48:46,280 --> 00:48:48,040
Speaker 3: And if you're curious to know the full story, you

1063
00:48:48,080 --> 00:48:50,040
Speaker 3: can go watch the full video. But we have some

1064
00:48:50,080 --> 00:48:50,799
Speaker 3: comments from that.

1065
00:48:50,840 --> 00:48:51,719
Speaker 2: Video, Yes, we do.

1066
00:48:52,040 --> 00:48:52,200
Speaker 4: Well.

1067
00:48:52,239 --> 00:48:55,759
Speaker 5: You have a comment here by steph is Back. They say,

1068
00:48:55,880 --> 00:48:59,800
Speaker 5: OPI are you dating my ex? Your guy sounds exactly

1069
00:48:59,840 --> 00:49:02,440
Speaker 5: like my ex, which is why he's an ex.

1070
00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:04,360
Speaker 3: A lot of xes sound similar.

1071
00:49:04,440 --> 00:49:06,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, is this true? That's something I think I

1072
00:49:06,640 --> 00:49:10,800
Speaker 1: saw was all bad relationships are bad in different ways,

1073
00:49:10,840 --> 00:49:13,320
Speaker 1: but all good relationships are good in the same way.

1074
00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:13,640
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1075
00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:14,600
Speaker 1: I think that's true.

1076
00:49:14,680 --> 00:49:18,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would say so obviously, not like the like specifics,

1077
00:49:18,640 --> 00:49:20,799
Speaker 3: but yeah, but like the same You know, you get

1078
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:23,840
Speaker 3: someone who's generous and caring and spends time.

1079
00:49:24,280 --> 00:49:27,520
Speaker 5: I think, so you learn. It's a learning thing. We

1080
00:49:27,560 --> 00:49:31,400
Speaker 5: have another comment here by Abigail Oberhauser, working twenty for

1081
00:49:31,480 --> 00:49:33,320
Speaker 5: the first story. My husband and I got married for

1082
00:49:33,440 --> 00:49:35,160
Speaker 5: under seven hundred dollars.

1083
00:49:35,239 --> 00:49:36,040
Speaker 1: What the heck?

1084
00:49:36,160 --> 00:49:36,440
Speaker 2: Nice?

1085
00:49:36,480 --> 00:49:38,480
Speaker 5: I mean, I know people do some really cheap weddings.

1086
00:49:38,520 --> 00:49:40,680
Speaker 1: I mean, also, you could just like you could just

1087
00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:43,440
Speaker 1: not do what you could just so we've thrown a

1088
00:49:43,440 --> 00:49:45,799
Speaker 1: one hundred person party. Yeah, you could just do that

1089
00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:47,480
Speaker 1: and it was like what two hundred bucks?

1090
00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:49,440
Speaker 5: Yeah, you kill everyone to bring something.

1091
00:49:49,840 --> 00:49:52,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, you put a bunch of chairs in the backyard.

1092
00:49:52,760 --> 00:49:55,359
Speaker 3: You bring your potlock wedding every wedding.

1093
00:49:55,440 --> 00:49:56,239
Speaker 2: That's actually really fun.

1094
00:49:56,280 --> 00:49:57,759
Speaker 3: It's a cool wayf they want a budget wedding, you

1095
00:49:57,800 --> 00:49:59,920
Speaker 3: just throw a potlock wedding and get someone to officiate.

1096
00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:01,000
Speaker 2: But yeah, work really well.

1097
00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:04,280
Speaker 5: Abigail continues, so saying, I spent months looking and thrifted

1098
00:50:04,320 --> 00:50:07,640
Speaker 5: my dream vintage wedding dress for twenty five dollars.

1099
00:50:07,840 --> 00:50:08,800
Speaker 3: Wow.

1100
00:50:09,239 --> 00:50:09,960
Speaker 4: Cool, if you.

1101
00:50:09,880 --> 00:50:11,879
Speaker 5: Put your mind to it, I think anyone could do that. Yeah,

1102
00:50:12,080 --> 00:50:14,680
Speaker 5: he wore a suit we thrifted over many years. My

1103
00:50:14,800 --> 00:50:16,800
Speaker 5: dad happened to fit a suit I thrifted back in

1104
00:50:16,880 --> 00:50:17,480
Speaker 5: high school.

1105
00:50:17,640 --> 00:50:18,560
Speaker 2: It was made for him.

1106
00:50:18,840 --> 00:50:21,440
Speaker 5: We got married in a local church that was absolutely beautiful,

1107
00:50:21,440 --> 00:50:22,960
Speaker 5: for only one hundred and fifty dollars.

1108
00:50:22,800 --> 00:50:23,920
Speaker 1: One hundred and fifty bucks.

1109
00:50:24,840 --> 00:50:26,280
Speaker 3: Dag, you guys are savers.

1110
00:50:26,360 --> 00:50:30,560
Speaker 1: You guys are savers. Sa Also people like spend like

1111
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:31,520
Speaker 1: tens of.

1112
00:50:31,480 --> 00:50:33,920
Speaker 3: Thousands, if not more, a lot of money.

1113
00:50:34,040 --> 00:50:36,520
Speaker 1: I know someone who spent seven hundred thousand dollars on

1114
00:50:36,560 --> 00:50:38,880
Speaker 1: their wedding and got divorced six months later.

1115
00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:41,000
Speaker 3: That's that's only amazy.

1116
00:50:41,160 --> 00:50:41,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's all.

1117
00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:44,279
Speaker 1: It's also the is that not ridiculous?

1118
00:50:44,360 --> 00:50:44,840
Speaker 3: Ridiculous?

1119
00:50:44,840 --> 00:50:45,640
Speaker 1: That's ridiculous.

1120
00:50:45,719 --> 00:50:46,480
Speaker 2: That sounds disgusting.

1121
00:50:46,760 --> 00:50:48,719
Speaker 1: That's disgusting. You could put it down payment on like

1122
00:50:48,760 --> 00:50:50,239
Speaker 1: a really nice house line.

1123
00:50:50,440 --> 00:50:53,399
Speaker 5: Yeah, and continuing there. For Abigail, the only flour holes

1124
00:50:53,440 --> 00:50:56,120
Speaker 5: were made for my wedding buquet. It was just direct

1125
00:50:56,120 --> 00:50:58,240
Speaker 5: family and we went to a sushi place after to celebrate.

1126
00:50:58,400 --> 00:51:00,839
Speaker 5: Our family friend is a professional bographer and did our

1127
00:51:00,840 --> 00:51:03,560
Speaker 5: photos for free. It's also who you know. Yeah, yeah,

1128
00:51:03,640 --> 00:51:05,600
Speaker 5: this is so we can be married, have a small wedding,

1129
00:51:05,680 --> 00:51:08,120
Speaker 5: live together, build our finances, and save for a house

1130
00:51:08,200 --> 00:51:11,759
Speaker 5: and wedding. Like Sam said, he's been saving for a

1131
00:51:11,760 --> 00:51:14,000
Speaker 5: down payment since before we were engaged. Since we both

1132
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:15,960
Speaker 5: come from poverty and we want to break the cycle,

1133
00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:18,120
Speaker 5: we plan to have a proper wedding with relatives and

1134
00:51:18,160 --> 00:51:20,480
Speaker 5: friends once we have the separate savings.

1135
00:51:20,080 --> 00:51:25,319
Speaker 1: Built break that poverty cycle. Yeah, break it, get break it.

1136
00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:27,600
Speaker 5: And we live in a rented house until work moves

1137
00:51:27,640 --> 00:51:29,880
Speaker 5: him out and his contact is up The point is

1138
00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:32,320
Speaker 5: there are always ways of doing what he wanted without

1139
00:51:32,360 --> 00:51:36,239
Speaker 5: being absurd. He's weaponizing the situation. There are actual solutions.

1140
00:51:36,360 --> 00:51:38,279
Speaker 5: We plan all the above over many months in the

1141
00:51:38,320 --> 00:51:38,920
Speaker 5: wedding itself.

1142
00:51:38,960 --> 00:51:41,279
Speaker 3: In two weeks, yeah, I mean, at the end of

1143
00:51:41,320 --> 00:51:44,239
Speaker 3: the day, you found out who this guy was.

1144
00:51:44,600 --> 00:51:46,960
Speaker 5: I think it Also, we've seen it in many stories

1145
00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:50,200
Speaker 5: that weddings bring out that type of person, like the

1146
00:51:50,200 --> 00:51:52,920
Speaker 5: real person they are, especially when high stress and everything.

1147
00:51:53,040 --> 00:51:53,200
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1148
00:51:53,560 --> 00:51:55,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, I want to go through a high stress situation

1149
00:51:55,520 --> 00:51:57,480
Speaker 3: with your like something that puts you in a high

1150
00:51:57,480 --> 00:52:00,360
Speaker 3: stress situation with a partner, I think, Yeah, you know,

1151
00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:02,760
Speaker 3: going on a road trip or having a doll.

1152
00:52:02,680 --> 00:52:05,200
Speaker 5: And we have one last comment here by King Snorby.

1153
00:52:05,360 --> 00:52:06,480
Speaker 5: I love that Stooroby.

1154
00:52:06,760 --> 00:52:07,640
Speaker 2: Uh.

1155
00:52:07,800 --> 00:52:10,200
Speaker 5: I pick whichever would not put me in debt lol.

1156
00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:12,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, agreed, But.

1157
00:52:12,800 --> 00:52:15,120
Speaker 3: That's the end of those comments and the end of

1158
00:52:15,160 --> 00:52:15,800
Speaker 3: this episode.

1159
00:52:15,880 --> 00:52:17,920
Speaker 1: Yeah. So, if you love us, make sure subscribe

1160
00:52:17,960 --> 00:52:20,360
Speaker 3: We love you and see it tomorrow.