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Speaker 1: Hey, I'm Kadeen and I'm Devoured and we're the Ellises.

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Speaker 1: You may know us from posting funny videos with our

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Speaker 1: boys and reading each other publicly as a form of therapy. Wait,

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Speaker 1: I'll make you need derby most days. Wow. Oh, and

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Speaker 1: one more important thing to mention, we're married, Yes, sir,

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Speaker 1: we are. We created this podcast to open dialogue about

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Speaker 1: some of life's most taboo topics, things most folks don't

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Speaker 1: want to talk about through the lens of a millennial

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Speaker 1: married couple. Dead ass is a term that we say

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Speaker 1: every day. So when we say dead ass, we're actually

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Speaker 1: saying facts one hundred, the truth, the whole truth, and

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Speaker 1: nothing but the truth. Were about to take Philows off

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Speaker 1: to a whole new level. Dead ass starts right now.

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Speaker 1: So much. What have you beautiful bunch in here tonight?

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna look at people ahead. I see some familiar faces.

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Speaker 1: I love that. So we had to stall real quick

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Speaker 1: because I had just had ranch stressing spilled all over

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Speaker 1: my pants? Are we good? Though? Who did that? Who

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Speaker 1: did that? Shout out to the team, I'm like, you're

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm not gonna snitch on nobody. I'm not

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Speaker 1: gonna snitch, but well I'm snitching. Let me tell you

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Speaker 1: happened when I came out here. It was like it

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Speaker 1: was like a big introduction DJ Executive. Whoa, I set

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Speaker 1: two feet on the stage. I ard somebody, go where

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Speaker 1: can from this area over here? Don't single them out?

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Speaker 1: Don't single them out? Wow, oh my god, look at

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Speaker 1: all these beautiful faces in here tonight. I just have

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Speaker 1: to tell y'all, Um, since yesterday, Devo and I have

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Speaker 1: been an emotional wreck. Okay yeah, and I just feel

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Speaker 1: like we've been fighting back tears. You know. I have

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Speaker 1: had a good cry. Yea, I need a good ugly cry. Um,

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Speaker 1: But I'm gonna hold it down for y'all, so I'm

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Speaker 1: not gonna do that. Um. But we're just so so

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Speaker 1: grateful to all of you who are here tonight. Like

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Speaker 1: I have to start by saying that I'm in such

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Speaker 1: a space of of just gratitude and trying to be

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Speaker 1: present in this moment and live in this moment. And

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Speaker 1: we just thank y'all so much for coming out tonight. Um.

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Speaker 1: Did y'all hear the news? Um? Yes, we are officially

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Speaker 1: a New York Times bestselling authors, but we over me, yes, yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: thank y'all. So um, literally still shaking over that. I

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Speaker 1: can't when when we think about we over Me, we

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Speaker 1: do honestly feel like it's we, as in all of

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Speaker 1: us over me. Because I'm telling y'all right now, I

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Speaker 1: know people say this, but this is the truth. There

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Speaker 1: is no us without you. I remember the day I

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Speaker 1: sat out there on the street venting about being left

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Speaker 1: home by myself with the kids, but I had I

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Speaker 1: had Cairo in my hand, and it was you guys

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Speaker 1: who shared, commented and told people to watch this guy's

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Speaker 1: funny watch it. So it was you. So this success

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Speaker 1: is not ours, it's hours. So thank y'all so much.

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Speaker 1: So in my moment of gratitude, going to step in

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Speaker 1: the story time who were listening to that ass podcast? Ye,

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Speaker 1: so y'all know. Story time is when I tell y'all

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Speaker 1: some of the stuff we'll be going through, right, So

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Speaker 1: we just the most recent one. I don't know what

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Speaker 1: story time is today, so I didn't tell us. I

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Speaker 1: didn't tell it because it just happened. So we wrote

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Speaker 1: this book called We Over Me when we talk about

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Speaker 1: how we've developed this communication style to be together right

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Speaker 1: and be one right. So everybody feels like we don't

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Speaker 1: argue no more. Right. Wrong. I was about to be

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Speaker 1: in my petty bag yesterday. Let me tell you how

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Speaker 1: God blocks you from the devil, because you know how

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Speaker 1: they say, in your greatest moments, right, that's when the

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Speaker 1: devil's coming. Right, the devil will be coming watching up

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Speaker 1: on you. Right, yesterday, we're getting ready to leave, right,

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Speaker 1: I go, hey, baby, where's your watch? You know that

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Speaker 1: she ain't gotta watch on? Right, say where to watch

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Speaker 1: the watch? I gotta watch on I gotta watch right.

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Speaker 1: I bought a watch. I bought a watch for my

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Speaker 1: baby too, right, I said, baby, hey, where's your watch?

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Speaker 1: She goes, oh, we'll see your book bag. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I have my book bag. I put everything in my

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Speaker 1: book bag. I am not aware of a Rolex in

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Speaker 1: my bag. Diamond and crusted roles at them, and I said, no,

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Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure it's not in my bag. She goes, oh,

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Speaker 1: that's fine, it must be in my bag. And she

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Speaker 1: was like, doo do doo, doo doo walked over to

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Speaker 1: her bag and I'm watching. I'm like, she's in her bag.

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Speaker 1: I'm like this, look, no Rolex, she donna spill everything

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Speaker 1: out everything out in the bag, all this stuff up

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Speaker 1: from now I'm getting mad and we're getting ready to

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Speaker 1: do the other show that we just left. We were

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Speaker 1: in Houston, So now I'm getting pissed, right, and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: in this moment, right, I don't want to say I

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Speaker 1: told you so, but I have to say I told

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Speaker 1: you so. And we had made a pack that we

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Speaker 1: were not gonna be petty. Thank you, thank you. I

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Speaker 1: have so this out. The petty war started in two

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Speaker 1: thousand and nine. Can I tell my story? Up the dirt? Mine?

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Speaker 1: Don't dig up the dirts. Two thousand and nine, we

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Speaker 1: had a white Cadillac, right, We had two pair of

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Speaker 1: car keys. One day there was only one car key

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Speaker 1: in the drawer. I'm like, yo, that's my car key.

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Speaker 1: She's like, no, this is my car key. I said, no,

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Speaker 1: you always lose your car keys. No if I don't

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Speaker 1: lose car keys out So we had a whole two

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Speaker 1: week argument about who lost the car key. Since two

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Speaker 1: thousand and nine, I have kept a log of all

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Speaker 1: the things Conneine has lost, including a bracelet last November

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Speaker 1: that I bought her that she lost. So this was

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Speaker 1: gonna be peace. Number seventeen right. So I walked right

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Speaker 1: over to my phone in my notes with all of

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Speaker 1: the list of things that she has lost, and I

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Speaker 1: was getting ready to walk right over to her and say, hey, babe,

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Speaker 1: since you always claimed my loose stuff, let's go over

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Speaker 1: these lists of things. And while I'm getting ready to

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Speaker 1: be petty, the Nora comes over with her phone out

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Speaker 1: and goes, guess what, guys, you I knew yours. I said,

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Speaker 1: let's go. But that role literally, I swear I had

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Speaker 1: a really good Valentine's date because that watch was left

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Speaker 1: in my DC hotel room. I think I even offered

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Speaker 1: a reward. I was like, I'll give y'all a reward.

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Speaker 1: It has sentimental value. They were like, fuck your sentimental value.

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Speaker 1: Y'all said, ah, y'all on for her, on for me. Yes,

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Speaker 1: But that moment changed very quickly because the tears that

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Speaker 1: were about to flow sad tears because of the vow's

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Speaker 1: list of the things that I've lost. Listen that you

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Speaker 1: keep track of you and four boys, So if I

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Speaker 1: lose it along the way, listen, I knew y'all was

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Speaker 1: gonna cloud for that. One thing y'all gonna do is

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Speaker 1: cloud for k Yes, stay well, she don't be making

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Speaker 1: no time cage. Just fuck y'all, be like yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: and it don't stink me do that? Who fireds? I

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Speaker 1: don't even fine your clan, your clan. What nothing women

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Speaker 1: gonna do is back each other up. Whatever. I was

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Speaker 1: trying to stand ten toes down for the men last show. Right,

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Speaker 1: we were having a little argument, right, and I was

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Speaker 1: giving my points across and I was like, white gentlemen,

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Speaker 1: And it was like, I was like, that's right, gentlemen.

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Speaker 1: We can't say we had so many couples in the

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Speaker 1: house two last night, so that's a valley. Are gonna

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Speaker 1: agree with you? They're trying to go home and get laid.

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Speaker 1: They're not about to agree with you to day after

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Speaker 1: Valentine's Day. So you had to just quit while you

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Speaker 1: weren't here. Stop what you mean, gentlemen. I know the struggle.

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Speaker 1: I've seen all of them. I was like, all right,

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Speaker 1: they was looking at that girl, like how many couples

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Speaker 1: are we have in the house tonight? A lot of couples?

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Speaker 1: How about single women? It's giving girls night? Single men

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Speaker 1: seek never Yo, they got the game fucked up, y'all.

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Speaker 1: They need to be here this ain't old women. Hello, Yo.

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Speaker 1: When I realized that when we went to Essence Fence

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Speaker 1: the twenty eighteen, I saw all these single women out there,

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Speaker 1: beautiful single women, and I was just like, Yo, if

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Speaker 1: I was a single guy right now, there'd be so

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Speaker 1: many options. But I don't think sing guys know where

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Speaker 1: to find single women who are not to put the

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Speaker 1: word out. So what we will do is, my guys

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Speaker 1: who are here tonight with their you know, partners, you

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Speaker 1: gotta tell y'all single friends, this is where you gotta

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Speaker 1: come to meet single women, right spread. So after story

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Speaker 1: time on the podcast, what's typically next? What's next? Carry

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Speaker 1: carryouke very night. We're gonna help y'all. You're gonna help

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Speaker 1: us thing tonight, right because y'all already know I what's

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Speaker 1: who here has questions for us? Yeah? Right here, I'm

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Speaker 1: I'm playing. So if we like to turn it over

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Speaker 1: to y'all and make this kind of like an interactive

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Speaker 1: listener letters segment. So many people write into the portion

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Speaker 1: of the show, and that's my favorite portion. So we

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Speaker 1: love to hear from y'all. That way you can ask

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Speaker 1: us about anything it could be related to the book.

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Speaker 1: If y'all want to know about the book anyway, So

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Speaker 1: go ahead, do your thing. Dribbles down front, dribble. What's hey,

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Speaker 1: I love your glasses. It's first of all, stand up

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Speaker 1: and let everybody see your outfit of your glasses because babies. Okay,

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Speaker 1: flawing this okay, flaw vibe. It's a vibe. Yes, okay,

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Speaker 1: that was air quotes. Why why has our air quotes

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Speaker 1: any to the bathroom? He knew kind of question, so

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Speaker 1: he did. Okay, shot man, he shot Okay. But I

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Speaker 1: know y'all talked a lot about how y'all started off,

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Speaker 1: and you know, your businesses and stuff like this. So

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Speaker 1: we're at a point I'm trying to start our businesses,

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Speaker 1: but we've just come out of like a depression stage.

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Speaker 1: So how do you overcome that feel a failure and

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Speaker 1: just allow your business to take off? This is a

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Speaker 1: great question question. So this is gonna sound crazy, right,

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Speaker 1: y'all got six kids? I feel you, Mama. She's contributing

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Speaker 1: in the Black History Month right here, this table right here, yes, sir,

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Speaker 1: in the middle, and wow, congratulations, congratulations. So this is

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Speaker 1: gonna sound crazy, right, But I do not believe in failure.

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Speaker 1: I don't I believe that the greatest lessons you learn

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Speaker 1: are in quote unquote losses. So even when you fail, right,

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Speaker 1: you really don't fail until you quit all together if

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Speaker 1: you keep trying. Kay will tell you how many times

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Speaker 1: I've tried to start businesses and started and started and started,

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Speaker 1: and finally it was like bow, it works. Everybody sees

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Speaker 1: when it works, but they didn't see the three four

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Speaker 1: years when you were doing all other ship that didn't work.

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Speaker 1: So I don't even think about failure. Just say, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna keep doing it until it gets done. That's a fact.

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Speaker 1: Because the Valenkadeen. Go ahead, clap on my husband. Y'all clap.

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Speaker 1: That's why I love this woman right here, you've got

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Speaker 1: a clap for my I've seen a couple little field everyone,

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Speaker 1: it's not that kind of show. But if y'all want

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Speaker 1: the only fans, just say so shit. We got a

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Speaker 1: lot of kids to feed too. Mag and the Blue

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Speaker 1: Light you're right now about the Blue Light Special. But

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Speaker 1: Devalichodeine that y'all see here today is literally twenty years

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Speaker 1: in the making, right, and it's amazing when folks come

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Speaker 1: to us and they admire, you know, the relationship that

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Speaker 1: we have or even just us as individuals and we

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Speaker 1: accept it and receive it and we love it. But

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Speaker 1: we don't profess to be anybody's couple goals because on

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Speaker 1: a day to day basis, Devalue are still trying to

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Speaker 1: figure things out. Right the argument we was arguing on

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Speaker 1: the way here and just be like that. Um, But

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Speaker 1: I say that to say, the best part about the

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Speaker 1: twenty year process for us is that we've had each other.

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Speaker 1: Oh Hubbies back now, he was nervous that we was

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Speaker 1: gonna congratulations, six kids, kids, your whole story. Yes for

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Speaker 1: your contribution. No, no, you didn't have six kids. She

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Speaker 1: had the six kids. Yes, yes, thank you for your contribution.

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Speaker 1: That Black History Month is what we're saying. Oh they

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Speaker 1: dont here loving each other. I love that. But doing

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Speaker 1: it together, doing it as a team has literally been

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Speaker 1: the best part of the process. Right. In the book too,

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Speaker 1: we discuss how we felt like at eighteen and nineteen

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Speaker 1: years old when we met each other, we were so

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Speaker 1: in love and we were so brought into each other

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Speaker 1: that we didn't realize that the detriment that it could

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Speaker 1: have caused to us as individuals, right, because I had

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Speaker 1: my mom and other women around me saying like kadein,

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Speaker 1: like you're so invested in this guy and you don't

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Speaker 1: even know who you are yet, Like have you taken

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Speaker 1: the time to figure out you so he can figure

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Speaker 1: out him? And of course it was. It was daunting

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Speaker 1: in the beginning because I'm trying to find myself as

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Speaker 1: a young woman, but also trying to consider him and

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Speaker 1: his feelings at the same time. So I was asking

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Speaker 1: a different show. You know, if we would do things differently,

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Speaker 1: you know, as individuals, and if we didn't get together,

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Speaker 1: how do we think things would be. I think we'd

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Speaker 1: both be successful in our own right, but nothing BEA's

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Speaker 1: doing it together. So having the support and doing the

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Speaker 1: businesses together, you know, it's definitely been a great process

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Speaker 1: for us because in the failures or in those moments

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Speaker 1: where you feel like they're dark times and you're trying

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Speaker 1: to pull yourself out of something or trying to jump

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Speaker 1: start something, having someone that you convent to or lean

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Speaker 1: on or just kind of run something by without any

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Speaker 1: kind of judgment or fear is the best part of

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Speaker 1: this whole thing. So shout out to my husband. Yahout y'all, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: shout out y'all. Interaction yes, that this is genuine right here.

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Speaker 1: For sure. You grabbed that woman that you hugged to, Yes,

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Speaker 1: when you came back, So there's something here. Yes, there

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Speaker 1: you go. That's your best friend. I seen it and

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Speaker 1: the dance and whole hand shake. I love it. I

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Speaker 1: love you. Know what's funny though, you know how many

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Speaker 1: uh dms I get from people who's saying like I didn't,

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Speaker 1: they've never seen this before, And I try to explain

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Speaker 1: to them that this is not an anomaly. It's just

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Speaker 1: not seen. But this is not an anomaly. Like all

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Speaker 1: of the all of my friends who I graduated college with,

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Speaker 1: right they played in the NFL, Willie Cologne, Stephen Bowen,

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Speaker 1: who else, Kyle Arrington, Marcus Colson are all married. He's

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Speaker 1: a guys who played in the NFL, all married to

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Speaker 1: beautiful black women and they have families and they they're

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Speaker 1: doing it together. They'll never tell you that story, but

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Speaker 1: it's out there. So I don't want anyone to ever

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Speaker 1: feel like, oh, we're the only ones no this, and

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Speaker 1: you look around and there's so many right here. So

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Speaker 1: first of all, clop it up for yourselves. Yeah, yeah, sure.

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Speaker 1: And one piece of advice that I do have for

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Speaker 1: you if you go into business together. Because the Val

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Speaker 1: and I do a lot of our businesses together. Even

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Speaker 1: just writing this book with sometimes a struggle in a fight,

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Speaker 1: and I was just like, we're supposed to be inspiring people,

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Speaker 1: my guy, but we're over here fighting over writing a

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Speaker 1: book that was like the craziest process ever. But no

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Speaker 1: one to clock out, right, no one. You just want

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Speaker 1: your best friend and not your business partner. Especially when

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Speaker 1: your work ethic or your processes may be different. You

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Speaker 1: have to respect that because Deval and I ran into

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Speaker 1: that a lot um depending on what business venture came

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Speaker 1: along our way. Um, he's you know, workaholic. He never

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Speaker 1: puts it down till this done. Me. I gotta take

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Speaker 1: time to let it marinate, come back, breastfeed, a couple

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Speaker 1: of kids, come back, you know, do a change, a

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Speaker 1: couple of diapers, come back. So our processes are different.

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Speaker 1: So respect that, you know and and learn when you

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Speaker 1: have to just get your best friend back and not

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Speaker 1: have a business partner, keep in mind for balance if

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Speaker 1: you will next, what's trouble at Tule tribble making her

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Speaker 1: way around over here? I got first. I love both

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Speaker 1: for you guys. I watch all his shows, and I

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Speaker 1: watched all y'all kids. Thank you so much. You're gonna

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Speaker 1: watch them for real? Though? Ye I watch because MEMI

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Speaker 1: needs to break y'all. Okay, I watched the Grandparents all y'all.

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Speaker 1: You can watch the Grandparents too. Yes, But I'm married

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Speaker 1: for twenty three years. We've been together thirty two. Oh,

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Speaker 1: there we go. What's I'm talking about. I'm in college

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Speaker 1: and it's hard, and I just want to have some

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Speaker 1: tips for him to understand that I'm working full time.

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Speaker 1: I'm a wife full time. Um, I have kids, well

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Speaker 1: grown kids, a grand baby, and I'm in school full time.

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Speaker 1: And he doesn't understand I graduate in May. You right

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Speaker 1: around the corner. Okay, the corner, go ahead. The finish

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Speaker 1: line is right there. He's not understanding, and he didn't

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Speaker 1: understand why I waited till I was turned forty something

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Speaker 1: to go back to school. I get it. I get it.

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Speaker 1: I get it, I get it. I get So is

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Speaker 1: he feeling a little neglected now? Is that what it

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Speaker 1: is he wants? He wants his best friend? Right? But

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Speaker 1: I think you do deserve though, even at whatever age

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Speaker 1: you are, to follow whatever that dream it is that

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Speaker 1: you had. Um, so shout out to you for doing that, um,

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Speaker 1: because I think it's ever too late to chase a

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Speaker 1: dream or to achieve a goal. So I think that's amazing. Um.

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Speaker 1: But do you carve out time for him him too,

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Speaker 1: because I think that one thing I used to do

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Speaker 1: with Devol is I used to expect him to just understand. Right,

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Speaker 1: he knows that I have a career, he knows that

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Speaker 1: I have children, or we have children. There's a lot

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Speaker 1: of things happening, a lot of moving parts. So I

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Speaker 1: always was expecting for him to just understand because he's

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Speaker 1: the adult, Like I'm the adult in the house, right,

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Speaker 1: the kids need something. But we even said it in

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Speaker 1: our book. There's a chapter says that says the kids

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Speaker 1: aren't first, And that's literally how we operate in our house.

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Speaker 1: If he and I are on the same page, if

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Speaker 1: he and I are disconnected, then the whole shit falls apart. Right. So,

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Speaker 1: I know you have a lot of things on your plate,

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Speaker 1: but I want to encourage you to tap into that

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Speaker 1: time that you're going to need with him, because he

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Speaker 1: needs it and he's clearly begging for it, right, So

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Speaker 1: that's my perspective. I can help you, know, just because

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Speaker 1: I know what that feels like to feel like you

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Speaker 1: have so many things going on, but your husband feels

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Speaker 1: like like, damn, you should just know Amy's right around

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Speaker 1: the corner. Just hold tight, you know I'm almost done. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's a lot of time. That's like, well, shout out,

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Speaker 1: shout out to you. That is a lot for a mom, grandma, wife.

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Speaker 1: You still work full time job. And but this is

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Speaker 1: the thing I want you to just understand from a

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Speaker 1: man's perspective. Right, we grow up men and we're taught

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Speaker 1: a happy wife, happy life. When you choose a wife,

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Speaker 1: your purpose then is to make sure that you help

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Speaker 1: your wife get whatever she needs or she wants. And

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Speaker 1: a lot of times we're even told your wife is

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Speaker 1: gonna give you what she can when she can, and

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Speaker 1: just don't nag and accept whatever it is. And what

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Speaker 1: happens is with both parties, we are expected to just

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Speaker 1: be like, oh, he'll be fine, I'll do it tomorrow,

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Speaker 1: until tomorrow becomes a week, and then the weeks becomes

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Speaker 1: a month, and then it's what I got all these

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Speaker 1: other things to do. It's like, well, when am I

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Speaker 1: gonna stop being the last priority? And we had this

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Speaker 1: conversation and also to him right, this is one thing

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Speaker 1: I learned, gentleman. I'll speak to gentlemen. I am unafraid

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Speaker 1: to tell my wife what I need, what I want,

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Speaker 1: and what I desire. It's the same way in real time,

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Speaker 1: because the same way I make it my purpose to

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Speaker 1: make sure that my wife has everything she wants and

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Speaker 1: needs and desires. I deserve for it to be reciprocated.

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Speaker 1: And what I no longer do is sit back with

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Speaker 1: my mouth shut and say she better figure this shot out.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna be pissed. I don't do that no more. Now,

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Speaker 1: y'all can clock for me now. But immature, young devout.

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Speaker 1: We used to sit back like this and be like,

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Speaker 1: it's been two days, tomorrow's Friday. If she don't touch

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Speaker 1: this thing tomorrow, I'm being a bad mood. Then tomorrow

365
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:34,000
Speaker 1: around she'd been working, and I'll just be looking for

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Speaker 1: any reason to start an argument. I hear that thing, God,

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Speaker 1: do like you turned down the heat again? You know

368
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Speaker 1: I like it? Then we arguing about the heat. When

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Speaker 1: I know what it's about. It's about me, and I

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Speaker 1: absolutely absolutely so. What I'll say to you is sit

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Speaker 1: down with your husband and be like, baby, what exactly

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Speaker 1: do you need? And you have twenty four hours? You

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Speaker 1: can find thirty minutes to an hour to be like, baby,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna make sure this time is your time because

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Speaker 1: I can guarantee you y'all been married this long. He

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Speaker 1: does that for you, doesn't he? Oh? Well, plot twist

377
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:22,320
Speaker 1: where he at? Is he here tonight? He's not here tonight?

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Speaker 1: So listen? So you to here? And I told him, no, ok,

379
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Speaker 1: it's gonna be okay. You need to sit down and

380
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Speaker 1: have a conversation. Yes, that is the truth. If y'all

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Speaker 1: have a conversation, talk about your needs and wants and

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Speaker 1: get to that both of you, not just you. Tell

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Speaker 1: him to do that too, and I'll call for Tima. No,

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Speaker 1: I'm like for Tima, y'all to talk about that, but

385
00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:50,520
Speaker 1: try to call about some time for you. For sure.

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Speaker 1: It's not easy, especially being married that long. Yeah, it's not.

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Speaker 1: You know. We talk about service a lot, being of

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Speaker 1: service to each other. So if you look at the book,

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Speaker 1: the title is we Over Me, but the subtitle is

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Speaker 1: the counter intuitive approach to getting everything you want out

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Speaker 1: of your relationship. And we say that because when you

392
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Speaker 1: think of the approach, most people take to a relationship,

393
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Speaker 1: maybe even newer relationships. It's finding someone who checks all

394
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Speaker 1: the boxes on the list of things that you want

395
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:15,040
Speaker 1: your partner to have. Right, But how many people really

396
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:19,159
Speaker 1: think about, let me be a whole, complete, happy individual

397
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Speaker 1: who is willing to be of service to someone in

398
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Speaker 1: this relationship. Right, So that's what we went by, the

399
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:26,959
Speaker 1: counterintuitive approach. It's a different way to think about relationships

400
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Speaker 1: where it's service based. So my reply to you with

401
00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:33,240
Speaker 1: that double down on everything else that we've already said,

402
00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:35,800
Speaker 1: is trying to find a way to be of service

403
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Speaker 1: to him, maybe waking up one morning and saying, you

404
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Speaker 1: know what, babe, what can I do today to take

405
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:42,120
Speaker 1: something off your plate? How can I make your day

406
00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:44,639
Speaker 1: better today? And you'll be surprised. It may be something

407
00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:47,280
Speaker 1: real simple that you can do where he feels the

408
00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:50,359
Speaker 1: appreciation enough to say, you know what, I'm gonna reciprocate

409
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:52,359
Speaker 1: that and do something for you today because you thought

410
00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:54,880
Speaker 1: about me, and it's little things. You can start there

411
00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:57,399
Speaker 1: and see how he receives that, you know, and that

412
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Speaker 1: can maybe open the door from more conversation later. All right, facts,

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Speaker 1: hopefully that helps. All Right? You know, are we on you? Now,

414
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:13,040
Speaker 1: please don't throw nothing up here now on the last time. Hello, Hi,

415
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:20,440
Speaker 1: Oh what's up? What's up? This table too? Because his

416
00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:31,520
Speaker 1: name is hard but okay, I named him after my

417
00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:33,399
Speaker 1: best friend, the love of my life. Um, he is

418
00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:35,760
Speaker 1: one raised in Harlem. So this past week and I

419
00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:38,480
Speaker 1: actually went to visit and I do what every year?

420
00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:41,320
Speaker 1: My question is, I want to move to New York,

421
00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:48,200
Speaker 1: but I have three kids. So she said, what advice

422
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:51,440
Speaker 1: can you give raising three black children in New York

423
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:55,560
Speaker 1: and the move to New York when this is the

424
00:23:55,560 --> 00:24:03,800
Speaker 1: first thing, cost of living thing six figures? Like, oh,

425
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:06,159
Speaker 1: so you're gonna move there with him? So he'll he

426
00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:11,200
Speaker 1: will be your partner. So you're here by yourself to harm.

427
00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:13,800
Speaker 1: His mom owns it, like, so, so you're here by

428
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:15,919
Speaker 1: yourself and you're gonna move with him. And this is

429
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:18,119
Speaker 1: your best friend, This is my best friend, love of

430
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:20,320
Speaker 1: my life, like he told me this weekend, I complete

431
00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:23,200
Speaker 1: him complete. So you're going to take your love? Huh? Yes,

432
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:27,040
Speaker 1: why are you still here? You should be on a

433
00:24:27,119 --> 00:24:30,280
Speaker 1: plane to haul them right now, right now. I came

434
00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:32,880
Speaker 1: back crying this weekend. She can tell you. I came

435
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:36,640
Speaker 1: back crying because I do not belong here. I belong there,

436
00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:41,680
Speaker 1: So why are you asking us? What are you doing? No?

437
00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:44,119
Speaker 1: I take the micromlet hell go now no, just kidding, no,

438
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:48,600
Speaker 1: just kidding, No, go do your thing. And then the

439
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:50,720
Speaker 1: other part of your question, raising three black boys in

440
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:52,680
Speaker 1: New York? Yes, I mean for us in New York,

441
00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:54,560
Speaker 1: the biggest thing was, of course, cost of living as

442
00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:56,800
Speaker 1: our family grew. But the good thing about New York

443
00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:59,640
Speaker 1: is that it's so diverse, right, So it's a great

444
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:02,239
Speaker 1: place to raised children for that reason, because they're not

445
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:05,440
Speaker 1: just going to be the only ones versus some places

446
00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:07,160
Speaker 1: that you go to that are outside of New York

447
00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:08,879
Speaker 1: where it's not as diverse, and you find that your

448
00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:11,080
Speaker 1: child is the one or the only in a classroom.

449
00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:13,600
Speaker 1: So that's a benefit of being in New York. But

450
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:16,119
Speaker 1: I'm for sure with black children, the public school system

451
00:25:16,119 --> 00:25:19,639
Speaker 1: in New York is trash trash, and there are so

452
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:21,920
Speaker 1: many schools. Like you you could be on one block

453
00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:24,679
Speaker 1: and there'll be four schools in that area, and depending

454
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:26,240
Speaker 1: on where you zoned, you can end up on the

455
00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:29,760
Speaker 1: school that's overcrowded. Yes, may have issues, you know, with

456
00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:32,159
Speaker 1: poor teaching, Like there's a lot of issues in New

457
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:34,919
Speaker 1: York of course, especially if you live in Harlem. Harlem

458
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:36,840
Speaker 1: has a lot of buildings, so you're gonna deal with

459
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:39,399
Speaker 1: overcrowding already, you know, and then you're gonna have to

460
00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:42,359
Speaker 1: deal with transportation. How old are your boys? Real quick?

461
00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:48,080
Speaker 1: Oh so you have seven, so they will never be

462
00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:51,560
Speaker 1: taking the transition by themselves anyway. All right, My only

463
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:54,240
Speaker 1: concern for you would be the public school system. Work

464
00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:57,200
Speaker 1: your hardest to get them in the best school possible.

465
00:25:57,520 --> 00:26:00,240
Speaker 1: And if you can find out all the raid things

466
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:02,480
Speaker 1: for all the schools, get your kids tested for gifted

467
00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:05,080
Speaker 1: and talented. That's what we did with Cairo and Jackson.

468
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:07,440
Speaker 1: And once you get those scores, you get an opportunity

469
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:10,880
Speaker 1: to pick which school depending on how many residents live

470
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:14,080
Speaker 1: in that zip code. So even so, there's still more

471
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:15,960
Speaker 1: to go into it as far as picking in schools.

472
00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:18,080
Speaker 1: But I will also say this, if you supplement their

473
00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:20,879
Speaker 1: education with tutoring like we did, I don't let no

474
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:23,679
Speaker 1: school systems train our kids. I'm just not doing that.

475
00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:26,560
Speaker 1: We teach them about everything from black history to a

476
00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:30,359
Speaker 1: higher level of mathematics to entrepreneurship. There are just things

477
00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:32,119
Speaker 1: that they have to learn that they'll never learn in

478
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:34,040
Speaker 1: the school system. So if you're the type of parent

479
00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:36,600
Speaker 1: that is on top of that, then they can go

480
00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:38,439
Speaker 1: to school anywhere and then you just supplement at home

481
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:40,320
Speaker 1: and you have your best friend doing it with you.

482
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:44,240
Speaker 1: I mean that. Good luck to you, sis, good luck.

483
00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:50,560
Speaker 1: Thank you for the question. We have one over here, bro,

484
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:57,119
Speaker 1: familiar face out there. My question is simple. Curry chicken

485
00:26:57,240 --> 00:27:06,080
Speaker 1: or chicken. Curry curry chicken. It's cury chicken, curry chicken chicken. Yeah.

486
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:09,720
Speaker 1: A lot of people who are not West Indian, they're like,

487
00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:12,520
Speaker 1: what is that? What is that? Any West Indian in

488
00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:18,280
Speaker 1: the house. It's scary chicken? Yes, thank you? Where we

489
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:26,960
Speaker 1: got guyana? Where else? It's not not my best friend,

490
00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:32,040
Speaker 1: best friend. I'm surprised it's you. They're gonna fight, y'all.

491
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:36,480
Speaker 1: It's a whole it's a whole different. It tastes good,

492
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:39,239
Speaker 1: I'll tell you that. Yeah. My father, my father can

493
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:44,159
Speaker 1: throw down chicken. Yes, shout out to my island massive

494
00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:50,640
Speaker 1: on this side. H here we are. I'm sorry, how

495
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:55,440
Speaker 1: everyone hip? Okay? I just wanted to say hello to y'all.

496
00:27:55,640 --> 00:28:02,680
Speaker 1: What's up, hey girl? Well that's all good? Hey friends. Hi.

497
00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:07,960
Speaker 1: So my question is more so for um I hear

498
00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:10,560
Speaker 1: a lot as a single woman that I have a

499
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:15,640
Speaker 1: lot of masculine energy. Cater to that or get out

500
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:18,320
Speaker 1: of that terror? How do you cater out of that? Like?

501
00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:23,760
Speaker 1: Did take getting that vibe out of me? So this

502
00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:29,040
Speaker 1: is this is my thing with the whole masculine energy thing. Right,

503
00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:34,840
Speaker 1: if you understand once again Black history and what Black

504
00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:37,920
Speaker 1: women have had to endure in this country, right, let's

505
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,040
Speaker 1: be honest, there has been no point in the black

506
00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:43,440
Speaker 1: family unit since sixteen nineteen where the black woman has

507
00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:45,360
Speaker 1: been a stay at home mom has been able to

508
00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:48,320
Speaker 1: sit in her feminine energy. Right, Black women have always

509
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:51,959
Speaker 1: had to work. Even when they was done with slavery,

510
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:55,080
Speaker 1: slavery was done, reconstruction happened, black women still had to

511
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:57,480
Speaker 1: earn in order to help the household make money. So

512
00:28:57,680 --> 00:29:00,600
Speaker 1: black women have always been accused of being the more

513
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:04,160
Speaker 1: masculine of all of the women in the world. Find

514
00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:06,440
Speaker 1: you a man that understands history and understands you, and

515
00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:11,880
Speaker 1: that won't be a problem. Because she got a lot

516
00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:15,760
Speaker 1: of masculine energy. She does, she talked a lot, she'd

517
00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:19,040
Speaker 1: be doing everything. She don't like to listen, she likes

518
00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:21,720
Speaker 1: to lead, she likes to be in control. And I

519
00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:23,280
Speaker 1: love it. You want to know why I love it

520
00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:26,480
Speaker 1: because I knew I'm married a boss. When I'm not around.

521
00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:28,560
Speaker 1: This is the woman that's gonna be helping raise my

522
00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:34,160
Speaker 1: kids when I'm not around. I'm not concerned because if

523
00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:36,960
Speaker 1: somebody stepped to my wife or my kids the wrong way,

524
00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:39,960
Speaker 1: my wife got it until I get there. You saying

525
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:45,160
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. But I'm secure in my manhood to

526
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:47,440
Speaker 1: know that if I'm approaching a black woman and she

527
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:51,080
Speaker 1: may be a little more voiceous or quote unquote aggressive, aggressive,

528
00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:53,000
Speaker 1: I don't call it aggressive. I grew up in New York.

529
00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:55,760
Speaker 1: In New York, you can walk by and a check

530
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:58,680
Speaker 1: will be like, what's good my nigga? That's the women,

531
00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:03,760
Speaker 1: and like, what's something? What's something? My language? Y'all going

532
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:05,280
Speaker 1: back and forth? What's good with you? Let me get

533
00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:07,920
Speaker 1: that number? What's something like? That's how y'all talk to me,

534
00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:11,320
Speaker 1: pretty much. How I bagged the valle y'all she listen.

535
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:15,200
Speaker 1: I bagged damn girl. You didn't know. Y'all didn't know that.

536
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:20,960
Speaker 1: Read the boxes, yo. I tell the whole story. Masculine

537
00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:23,400
Speaker 1: energy don't mean nothing to me as a man. It

538
00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:25,440
Speaker 1: was like, this is something I'm about to conquer here.

539
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:28,160
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. She walked right up on me.

540
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:30,440
Speaker 1: I was standing in minding my business. I was eighteen.

541
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:32,560
Speaker 1: She walked right up on me and said de Val

542
00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:35,040
Speaker 1: and Brian Ellis said me and my brother's name. I

543
00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:39,160
Speaker 1: was like, ain't you fine? I didn't say that. I

544
00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:41,280
Speaker 1: was eighteen, so I was trying to be cool. So

545
00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:45,080
Speaker 1: I was like, who's up? And she was just like,

546
00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:46,560
Speaker 1: you don't know me, do you. I was just like,

547
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:48,640
Speaker 1: I'm trying to get to know you. And then she

548
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:51,200
Speaker 1: followed me around the whole banquet and talked to me

549
00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:54,880
Speaker 1: the whole time. Ain't nobody was following nobody, but I

550
00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:57,600
Speaker 1: was keeping my eye on you. You didn't follow me around.

551
00:30:57,720 --> 00:31:01,640
Speaker 1: I mean you were in the distance. Oh, she capping,

552
00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:06,440
Speaker 1: y'all capping. I was prepared for him. I was prepared.

553
00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:13,360
Speaker 1: She came and came and got me buckets. We did that.

554
00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:18,280
Speaker 1: We say all that. All of my friends who married women,

555
00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:22,400
Speaker 1: all of them women are like that, multiple multiple degrees,

556
00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:26,680
Speaker 1: super educated. They all make their own money. They are

557
00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:29,800
Speaker 1: all just like that, and they all have relationships where

558
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:32,960
Speaker 1: they can talk and at certain times, she knows when

559
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:35,320
Speaker 1: to just chill and let daddy, do daddy. That's a fact,

560
00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:36,920
Speaker 1: because that's part of it. I let her be a

561
00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:38,960
Speaker 1: queen when when she needs to be or wants to

562
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:40,600
Speaker 1: be a queen. But when it's time to do things

563
00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:42,640
Speaker 1: and it's time for me to lead, she'll sit back

564
00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:47,280
Speaker 1: because you know I got her. Yeah, there's no power shows, understanding, understanding.

565
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:49,840
Speaker 1: Whoever's equipped in that moment to do whatever the task

566
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:51,680
Speaker 1: is is gonna get it done. But don't dim your

567
00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:56,080
Speaker 1: light because because you you'll never bestable them in your light. No,

568
00:31:56,520 --> 00:31:59,040
Speaker 1: you will dim your light. Find a guy who likes you, demmed,

569
00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:01,520
Speaker 1: and every time you try to shine, he gonna be like,

570
00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:03,240
Speaker 1: what are you doing? I don't need you to shine.

571
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:05,360
Speaker 1: Don't let me stay who you are to find somebody

572
00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:09,040
Speaker 1: for you, That's what I'm saying. Hope that helps. Yes,

573
00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:13,360
Speaker 1: we're here. Yes, love that. Hey girl, Hey, what's up?

574
00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:16,040
Speaker 1: My name is Tamara, So I'm a twin mom as well.

575
00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:23,320
Speaker 1: I'm married to this fine doctor myself. Okaya, triple, I

576
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:27,640
Speaker 1: can't see fine doctor slide over, okay, doctor, a light

577
00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:32,120
Speaker 1: on them, shine a light on them for me, doctor,

578
00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:38,360
Speaker 1: love baby coming doctor yall y'all Q no, no, seriously,

579
00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:41,840
Speaker 1: So we have four kids as well. We've been married. Actually,

580
00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:44,800
Speaker 1: we have been together since I was eighteen. I'm wow

581
00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:51,080
Speaker 1: about to be thirty eight. But I love you so much. Game.

582
00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:53,800
Speaker 1: I feel like we have so much in common. But

583
00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:55,200
Speaker 1: our kids are a little bit older. I have a

584
00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:57,000
Speaker 1: daughter now that's about to go to a mu I

585
00:32:57,080 --> 00:33:01,200
Speaker 1: saw somebody in here with that. Congratulations, let's go committed

586
00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:04,640
Speaker 1: for volleyball. So my question to y'all is, four kids deep,

587
00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:09,120
Speaker 1: we've been in this years, how do we just keep

588
00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:12,880
Speaker 1: the spark alive? Like I know now y'all are business oriented,

589
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:16,520
Speaker 1: which I have my own business. He's doing his executive

590
00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:20,080
Speaker 1: thing and his business. How do y'all keep the spark alive?

591
00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:22,280
Speaker 1: Because that's where I feel like it's like a love

592
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:25,240
Speaker 1: connection thing when it comes to the kids, the business,

593
00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:28,280
Speaker 1: the lots of things. Oh baby, I know it's loaded,

594
00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:31,360
Speaker 1: but let's just get to the nitty grit. Consort. Yes,

595
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:35,720
Speaker 1: for sure, it's funny because we literally are like mirror images, right,

596
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:37,960
Speaker 1: the four kids and the thirty eight and all that stuff.

597
00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:42,440
Speaker 1: For Devaleni, we realize that we just don't function well

598
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:44,920
Speaker 1: where we're disconnected. So we had to start taking things

599
00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:47,840
Speaker 1: back to the basics, right, we think about the times

600
00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:49,880
Speaker 1: that and I think what spark this recently for us

601
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:51,600
Speaker 1: was writing the book because we had to call on

602
00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:54,160
Speaker 1: so many moments and so many memories over the years,

603
00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:56,960
Speaker 1: and we too have struggled with the whole keeping the

604
00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:59,280
Speaker 1: spark or feeling like we're in love one one and like,

605
00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:01,240
Speaker 1: you know, because tenuously loving each other, but are we

606
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:04,440
Speaker 1: in love in that moment or not? And it's because

607
00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:07,560
Speaker 1: of the load of just life. So we realized that

608
00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:10,080
Speaker 1: in writing the book, there were certain moments and times

609
00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:12,160
Speaker 1: and places in our life where we realized, Wow, we

610
00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:15,680
Speaker 1: didn't have shit, like we had nothing, Like we were broke,

611
00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:18,040
Speaker 1: we were starting over, you know, we were in college.

612
00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:20,120
Speaker 1: We all had meal points, that's all we had. But

613
00:34:20,239 --> 00:34:22,439
Speaker 1: what were the basic things that we enjoyed doing? Because

614
00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:24,440
Speaker 1: this was my homie and my best friend. So I

615
00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:27,319
Speaker 1: started taking it back to nostalgic moments that we used

616
00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:30,440
Speaker 1: to have. Right, So re instituting date night because we

617
00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:32,279
Speaker 1: had a busy year last year and that was kind

618
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:34,840
Speaker 1: of falling by the wayside. So it's letting Mimi and

619
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:37,480
Speaker 1: Papata all right, y'all is going down to night date night,

620
00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:40,040
Speaker 1: holdly kids down for us real quick and I mean

621
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:41,880
Speaker 1: one night, it was just a matter of putting on

622
00:34:41,920 --> 00:34:44,080
Speaker 1: New York Undercover because we used to watch that all

623
00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:47,439
Speaker 1: the time in college. And I put on these little

624
00:34:47,640 --> 00:34:49,839
Speaker 1: boy shorts that he likes with a crop top because

625
00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:51,720
Speaker 1: I used to wear it around doing room in college.

626
00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:54,920
Speaker 1: And we sat down, I made dinner, we played cards

627
00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:57,000
Speaker 1: while we watched New York Undercover. That was something that

628
00:34:57,040 --> 00:34:58,560
Speaker 1: we did in college when we had nothing and we

629
00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:01,160
Speaker 1: just had each other in good time. So little moments

630
00:35:01,239 --> 00:35:02,880
Speaker 1: like that was calling on him to be like, oh,

631
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:05,239
Speaker 1: you know, like you actually thought of something that we

632
00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:07,759
Speaker 1: did when we really just had nothing but each other

633
00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:10,960
Speaker 1: in good times. So those little moments over the years

634
00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:14,880
Speaker 1: have helped to kind of reinstitute that spark, to to

635
00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:17,799
Speaker 1: reignite it. Rather, So what I did was asked her

636
00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:19,719
Speaker 1: exactly what she wanted and gave her what she wanted.

637
00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:21,759
Speaker 1: And I told her exactly what I wanted and said,

638
00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:23,080
Speaker 1: if you don't get me what I want, then we're

639
00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:25,799
Speaker 1: gonna have a problem. Bottom line, I'm not gonna make

640
00:35:25,840 --> 00:35:28,480
Speaker 1: it all glamorous. It was like that was my approach.

641
00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:31,400
Speaker 1: His approach was this. My approach was to tell her, like, yo,

642
00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:33,520
Speaker 1: if I come in the house and you have one

643
00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:35,320
Speaker 1: robe and your head look crazy, and you got on

644
00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:37,279
Speaker 1: flip flops and you won't take a shower all day.

645
00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:40,560
Speaker 1: Don't roll over next to me late night too, Dave.

646
00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:44,320
Speaker 1: Let's have sex. I that that I would like for

647
00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:45,920
Speaker 1: you to put on the shorts that I liked that

648
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:47,400
Speaker 1: you wear. I would like for you to put that

649
00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:50,879
Speaker 1: crop top on, and I would like that earlier enough

650
00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:53,120
Speaker 1: in the night where I can enjoy that. So it's

651
00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:54,560
Speaker 1: not a thing where you dress up me. Just get

652
00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:57,040
Speaker 1: right into bed like that's my love language. I'm a

653
00:35:57,160 --> 00:36:00,600
Speaker 1: visual learner. I'm a visual lover. Know what I'm saying.

654
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:04,000
Speaker 1: Let this be visual. And he's a full time, all

655
00:36:04,040 --> 00:36:08,799
Speaker 1: the time student. I'm always learning, always learning, always something

656
00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:11,319
Speaker 1: new to discover. But but for me, it was us

657
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:14,880
Speaker 1: getting to a point where no longer saying, let's figure

658
00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:17,759
Speaker 1: out what each other wants. Tell me what you want.

659
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:20,160
Speaker 1: That waste so much time. Y'all got time to waste. Yes,

660
00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:23,360
Speaker 1: and it goes both ways, she said to me. I

661
00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:26,160
Speaker 1: get more in the mood when I travel and i'm outside.

662
00:36:26,239 --> 00:36:30,000
Speaker 1: Bad boom, Mimi, you got the babies. We're gonna here

663
00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:32,560
Speaker 1: this month. You know, it's just being deliberate about it

664
00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:34,319
Speaker 1: and not trying to figure it out, because nobody got

665
00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:36,600
Speaker 1: time for that, you know. And we're at a point

666
00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:38,960
Speaker 1: now in our relationship where when I tell you what

667
00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:41,000
Speaker 1: I need or what I want, don't judge me for it.

668
00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:43,759
Speaker 1: Make a choice to do to do it, or we

669
00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:47,120
Speaker 1: cannot be together. But you staying in a relationship together.

670
00:36:47,239 --> 00:36:54,839
Speaker 1: Can I finish my thought that we're not gonna be together?

671
00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:59,160
Speaker 1: Was remember remember when I told you she had mad

672
00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:03,120
Speaker 1: masculine and just tell you that was a little glimpse

673
00:37:03,160 --> 00:37:05,520
Speaker 1: of it. She she'd be getting a twitch. She'd be like,

674
00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:08,000
Speaker 1: what you mean, we're not gonna be together? I'm sorry.

675
00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:12,000
Speaker 1: I was finishing my statement that Texas call got to him.

676
00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:16,319
Speaker 1: I'm not going nowhere. I'm not going nowhere. I'm right here.

677
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:19,920
Speaker 1: Let me just sit right here, blink two times, and

678
00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:26,920
Speaker 1: I'm okay, guys, but no, But seriously, it's really that simple,

679
00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:30,320
Speaker 1: and people don't ever want to hear it because especially

680
00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:33,719
Speaker 1: in social media. Right you tell your wife on social media,

681
00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:36,160
Speaker 1: I like when you wear the shorts, then the argument says,

682
00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:38,520
Speaker 1: why she gotta wear shorts? Why you can't like her?

683
00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:41,200
Speaker 1: I'm listen, I'm telling her what I like when she

684
00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:43,319
Speaker 1: says to me she wanted to travel, I don't hear

685
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:45,840
Speaker 1: nobody saying why. We gotta know she gonna tell me

686
00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:48,640
Speaker 1: what she liked. That's my wife. I'm gonna give her

687
00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:50,600
Speaker 1: what she liked. I'm gonna tell her what I like.

688
00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:53,040
Speaker 1: I'm a husband. She gonna give me what I like.

689
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:55,320
Speaker 1: If we can't do that, then we just shouldn't be

690
00:37:55,400 --> 00:38:01,680
Speaker 1: together period. And that's that's what keeps you are right

691
00:38:01,719 --> 00:38:04,920
Speaker 1: over here. I just don't like that jargon. I'm not

692
00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:08,279
Speaker 1: gonna say it, but you understand, right the choice is

693
00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:10,879
Speaker 1: what the choices are. And once you choose to be here,

694
00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:13,000
Speaker 1: you choose to oblige your partner because you want to

695
00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:15,920
Speaker 1: be of service. You can't act like it's moving mountains

696
00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:17,960
Speaker 1: every time your partners say they want to do something.

697
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:22,279
Speaker 1: And here's the thing, I'm gonna say this, sorry. When

698
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:24,160
Speaker 1: you want to be in a relationship and you want

699
00:38:24,160 --> 00:38:28,200
Speaker 1: to be in a monogamous relationship and now your husband says, baby,

700
00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:29,239
Speaker 1: you know what I like? When you do this and

701
00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:30,680
Speaker 1: they want to be up on you and share that

702
00:38:30,760 --> 00:38:33,160
Speaker 1: monogamy with you, When you suck your teeth and do

703
00:38:33,239 --> 00:38:36,440
Speaker 1: something like come on, we don't like that ship. Bro.

704
00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:40,040
Speaker 1: Clearly he's married to a West India who was always

705
00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:44,960
Speaker 1: chips and all day like it ain't fair. Like I'm

706
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:48,000
Speaker 1: just being real, Like if we're talking about in intimacy

707
00:38:48,040 --> 00:38:50,360
Speaker 1: and stuff like that, one partner is always gonna have

708
00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:52,960
Speaker 1: a higher sex drive than the other. It's not always

709
00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:57,120
Speaker 1: the man, Sometimes it's the woman. Sometimes women have higher

710
00:38:57,160 --> 00:39:01,319
Speaker 1: sex drives. You know what I'm saying. Any women don't

711
00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:04,200
Speaker 1: have high sexuals. So boom, So this is my thing.

712
00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:06,840
Speaker 1: And I and I spoke to I got a homeboy.

713
00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:09,480
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna I'm not gonna out him. But his

714
00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:15,200
Speaker 1: girl turned forty and she like on him like, yo,

715
00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:20,840
Speaker 1: my man's where it sat, and he'd be he'd be

716
00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:22,880
Speaker 1: with us. Be like bro, man, it's like every day

717
00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:27,760
Speaker 1: I'll come home and I say to him, you asked

718
00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:30,920
Speaker 1: that woman to marry you, right, you have an obligation

719
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:33,160
Speaker 1: to make sure that her wants and needs need have

720
00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:35,960
Speaker 1: to be met. Fact, are you gonna say now, I'm

721
00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:37,440
Speaker 1: not in the mood and then leave her to her

722
00:39:37,480 --> 00:39:39,200
Speaker 1: own devices? It's not fair for you to do that

723
00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:42,920
Speaker 1: to that woman. You hear that in it's not fair

724
00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:45,960
Speaker 1: for these women to do that to these men. You right. Oh,

725
00:39:46,040 --> 00:39:50,200
Speaker 1: you gave me to you right, oh, because we did

726
00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:52,000
Speaker 1: this yesterday in Houston. And when I did that, the

727
00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:58,200
Speaker 1: woman said, wow, wow, do we have any women over

728
00:39:58,320 --> 00:40:01,480
Speaker 1: forty here that can can vouch for the sex drive

729
00:40:01,719 --> 00:40:06,920
Speaker 1: going up after forty? Yeah, I don't clock when you

730
00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:10,160
Speaker 1: turn forty in December? I sure down we're gonna wish

731
00:40:10,200 --> 00:40:23,000
Speaker 1: the clock up. I'll celebrate your birthday tomorrow. Yeah, a

732
00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:25,759
Speaker 1: couple more months. Bro. Oh No, it's just fun. We've

733
00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:29,200
Speaker 1: been we've been doing right. But but in full full transparency.

734
00:40:29,239 --> 00:40:30,440
Speaker 1: I don't know if this is a little bit too

735
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:34,680
Speaker 1: much to ship, but in full transp bad. We can't

736
00:40:34,719 --> 00:40:38,759
Speaker 1: get the worse than that. In full transparency, I take

737
00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:41,080
Speaker 1: care of my wife. My wife take takes care of me,

738
00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:44,279
Speaker 1: like that's just that's just it. I'm not gonna give

739
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:46,800
Speaker 1: y'all the details, but my wife takes care of me.

740
00:40:47,120 --> 00:40:49,400
Speaker 1: That's the reason why I'd be up here happy and

741
00:40:49,480 --> 00:40:52,239
Speaker 1: smiling with Jean, because I've been taking care of you.

742
00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:58,040
Speaker 1: Know what I'm saying, you can take care of me

743
00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:01,040
Speaker 1: so and we we reciprocate, you know, when that American

744
00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:03,440
Speaker 1: Express bill come around. I know what your love language is,

745
00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:07,719
Speaker 1: Shapaya embrace yourself. God name. Let me just hit that

746
00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:11,160
Speaker 1: button God. So let's take care of each other. Man,

747
00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:13,239
Speaker 1: y'all gotta do that. Y'all got it. Y'all been into

748
00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:17,360
Speaker 1: this deep, keep going. I love that for you, for

749
00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:19,840
Speaker 1: your time. For maybe one or two more questions. I

750
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:26,280
Speaker 1: just want to say, Hi, my name is Pasha. Hi, Pasha. Okay,

751
00:41:27,040 --> 00:41:31,239
Speaker 1: scream your wife. Let's go chare for his wife. Yeah,

752
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:34,919
Speaker 1: chair for him to wife. That's what I'm talking about.

753
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:39,520
Speaker 1: That's egna get some pussy where he get home. Let's go,

754
00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:52,600
Speaker 1: let's go pussy. That's the motivation. That's my wife. That's

755
00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:55,879
Speaker 1: your question. Baby. As soon as we get in the call,

756
00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:58,560
Speaker 1: you better than a fall asleep in a call. You

757
00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:01,160
Speaker 1: better stay your ass. Don't give her too many drinks.

758
00:42:01,239 --> 00:42:03,480
Speaker 1: Now he's gonna be driving like this. Hey, hey, hey,

759
00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:10,600
Speaker 1: we right here. We wake up. That's how I be bro.

760
00:42:10,719 --> 00:42:20,319
Speaker 1: I ain't roll up. But I just want to say

761
00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:23,480
Speaker 1: thank y'all so much for coming here. Like I put

762
00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:29,400
Speaker 1: in on y'all, um, I was like you did we

763
00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:33,600
Speaker 1: here were here. I watched this team up. I listened

764
00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:39,239
Speaker 1: to your podcast. Thank you so much. Sisters, like yes,

765
00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:44,000
Speaker 1: talk about it. You all have definitely inspired me to

766
00:42:44,239 --> 00:42:48,000
Speaker 1: like go for my dreams, my aspirations, listen to my

767
00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:52,960
Speaker 1: husband a little bit more. A little bit goes a

768
00:42:53,040 --> 00:42:56,120
Speaker 1: long way. We've been together since high school. So it's like,

769
00:42:56,600 --> 00:43:00,120
Speaker 1: congrats to that. Thank you to read a book and

770
00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:05,640
Speaker 1: be inspired through like listeners to some positive words and affirmations.

771
00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:09,200
Speaker 1: It really does a lot to me. And I'm pursuing

772
00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:14,400
Speaker 1: my master's in early literacy. There you go, get you

773
00:43:15,719 --> 00:43:20,759
Speaker 1: my academy. It's called Nurturing Minds Preparatory Academy. That's gonna

774
00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:24,200
Speaker 1: be opening it up in June. As I'm talking about

775
00:43:24,239 --> 00:43:27,600
Speaker 1: it turned into a real quick your kids right now,

776
00:43:27,719 --> 00:43:34,920
Speaker 1: we take cashup. I'm ready at the front door. The

777
00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:40,279
Speaker 1: question kids, how do you all balance everything? Because we

778
00:43:40,480 --> 00:43:43,160
Speaker 1: also have kids, Like we have one son that's three

779
00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:48,000
Speaker 1: years old, said like it takes a village to help

780
00:43:48,160 --> 00:43:51,480
Speaker 1: race nobody. You can't even make that joke no more,

781
00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:56,360
Speaker 1: and been like, you all bring people around to influence

782
00:43:56,480 --> 00:43:59,200
Speaker 1: your children as well. And I know that you all

783
00:43:59,280 --> 00:44:04,239
Speaker 1: have Crystal as your you know, Dakota's got mother, yes,

784
00:44:04,360 --> 00:44:14,160
Speaker 1: and Andora one of okay, make sure yeah, yeah, we're

785
00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:17,800
Speaker 1: not from here. He's from Michiana. I'm from Chicago. We

786
00:44:17,920 --> 00:44:21,520
Speaker 1: a family out here, So how do you create that

787
00:44:21,640 --> 00:44:25,960
Speaker 1: type of community, that type of bomb. Okay, yeah, I um,

788
00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:27,960
Speaker 1: thank you for your question, and good luck to everything

789
00:44:28,040 --> 00:44:30,520
Speaker 1: you have going on. It's amazing. You know what's funny

790
00:44:30,560 --> 00:44:32,880
Speaker 1: When we first moved to Georgia, although I didn't have

791
00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:36,120
Speaker 1: my mom and dad, I went to Jackson's a sneak

792
00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:38,360
Speaker 1: peak at school, right snepeg events. It is like the

793
00:44:38,400 --> 00:44:41,440
Speaker 1: first day, open night whatever. And I was about seven

794
00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:44,440
Speaker 1: ische months pregnant with Dakota, So I was like, listen,

795
00:44:44,680 --> 00:44:46,600
Speaker 1: I'm about to find me some nice black people up

796
00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:48,600
Speaker 1: in the school that I can be friends with. So

797
00:44:48,760 --> 00:44:51,480
Speaker 1: I literally went in there scoping out the scene, like, oh,

798
00:44:51,640 --> 00:44:54,800
Speaker 1: can I approach to be friends with? Because I understand

799
00:44:54,880 --> 00:44:57,360
Speaker 1: the value of if I didn't have my parents, for example,

800
00:44:57,480 --> 00:44:59,560
Speaker 1: or they're in New York, or they're somewhere, who can

801
00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:02,200
Speaker 1: I help? Who can I rely on to help us

802
00:45:02,320 --> 00:45:04,840
Speaker 1: in those moments, right because we can't trust everybody. So

803
00:45:04,920 --> 00:45:07,759
Speaker 1: I literally found the cutest couple with their son who

804
00:45:07,840 --> 00:45:10,520
Speaker 1: happened to be in a class opposite Jackson's same grade,

805
00:45:10,920 --> 00:45:12,680
Speaker 1: and I went up to them and I introduced myself,

806
00:45:12,760 --> 00:45:15,120
Speaker 1: and I'm just like Hey, y'all, we're new to Georgia.

807
00:45:15,320 --> 00:45:19,440
Speaker 1: This is my son, Jackson. Jackson introduced yourself to his general.

808
00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:24,479
Speaker 1: Jackson came home piss pits walthing the door. She said, mom,

809
00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:29,680
Speaker 1: what happened? Know the kid in his name Grayling, and

810
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:31,680
Speaker 1: she's gonna talk about some y'all introduced each other. Then

811
00:45:31,719 --> 00:45:34,520
Speaker 1: she's staring at us like this whole tough. So I

812
00:45:34,719 --> 00:45:36,360
Speaker 1: was like, what's up? And he was like, he was like,

813
00:45:36,440 --> 00:45:38,200
Speaker 1: you know, you told me to be from Brooklyn. You

814
00:45:38,280 --> 00:45:40,640
Speaker 1: gotta size people up. I couldn't even size him up

815
00:45:40,680 --> 00:45:43,640
Speaker 1: first because Mommy's staring at me in my face. Then

816
00:45:43,680 --> 00:45:45,400
Speaker 1: he was like, can you just come next time? Don't know,

817
00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:50,239
Speaker 1: come by herself? Think I got you. But guess who

818
00:45:50,360 --> 00:45:54,759
Speaker 1: Jackson's best friend is now? Ye, Mamma, being knowing, I said,

819
00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:57,600
Speaker 1: these are some decent folks, hard working black people, just

820
00:45:57,800 --> 00:46:01,359
Speaker 1: like us. Okay, and if I'm trying to expand my village,

821
00:46:01,360 --> 00:46:02,959
Speaker 1: because what we're not gonna do is have my friends,

822
00:46:03,160 --> 00:46:05,040
Speaker 1: my kid, my kid friends with people we don't know,

823
00:46:05,120 --> 00:46:07,080
Speaker 1: because you know, you got to know the parents too.

824
00:46:07,080 --> 00:46:08,919
Speaker 1: I want to know your grandmother and auntie, your uncle,

825
00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:11,719
Speaker 1: all of them. So Jackson became friends with him, and

826
00:46:11,840 --> 00:46:13,520
Speaker 1: that was an extension of the village. So now Jackson

827
00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:15,920
Speaker 1: on the debate team with Raylan, and here we are

828
00:46:16,280 --> 00:46:19,840
Speaker 1: in Dallas. Jackson had debate team practice today and we

829
00:46:19,920 --> 00:46:21,719
Speaker 1: had nobody to pick him up. Who brought him home

830
00:46:22,120 --> 00:46:26,200
Speaker 1: Graylan's dad, right, So it's just about scouting out the area,

831
00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:28,279
Speaker 1: just being in the circles where your kids are, see

832
00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:31,200
Speaker 1: who they kind of naturally gravitate to with friendships even

833
00:46:31,560 --> 00:46:33,279
Speaker 1: and see if you can kind of rely on that,

834
00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:35,520
Speaker 1: because it's hard to leave your children with people that

835
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,839
Speaker 1: you don't really know. I'd rather keep them. How old

836
00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:41,600
Speaker 1: your kids, Oh, or you'll live one and he's three,

837
00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:43,200
Speaker 1: because I'm about to say leave him home by himself,

838
00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:45,919
Speaker 1: but you can't do that. Or if you have older kids,

839
00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:47,320
Speaker 1: like there's a sixteen year old the house, it's like

840
00:46:47,320 --> 00:46:49,919
Speaker 1: you're gonna babysit tonight. You didn't even know it. But yeah,

841
00:46:50,080 --> 00:46:53,319
Speaker 1: the village does definitely help in terms of balance. I mean,

842
00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:55,520
Speaker 1: balance is really hard to find. A lot of times,

843
00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:58,799
Speaker 1: the chips have to fall where they fall, and it's

844
00:46:58,880 --> 00:47:03,160
Speaker 1: necessary sometimes to recalibrate and reprioritize what needs to get done,

845
00:47:03,480 --> 00:47:05,480
Speaker 1: but lean on each other man lean on each other.

846
00:47:05,560 --> 00:47:07,359
Speaker 1: Sometimes Devot has to tap me out if we don't

847
00:47:07,360 --> 00:47:09,600
Speaker 1: have Mimi and Popping nearby or you know, a god

848
00:47:09,680 --> 00:47:12,960
Speaker 1: parent nearby that we can trust. Um, Devot can see

849
00:47:12,960 --> 00:47:15,120
Speaker 1: in my eyes sometimes that I'm just like I just

850
00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:17,879
Speaker 1: need help, I need to move me. I need an hour. Yeah,

851
00:47:18,239 --> 00:47:20,000
Speaker 1: I need an hour, you know, and just tag team

852
00:47:20,040 --> 00:47:22,080
Speaker 1: with each other because that's also necessary to have your

853
00:47:22,120 --> 00:47:25,120
Speaker 1: individual time as well. So, um, good luck to y'all

854
00:47:25,160 --> 00:47:28,360
Speaker 1: with that, with everything you have going on, absolutely we

855
00:47:28,480 --> 00:47:31,759
Speaker 1: got time for one more question or that's it. Say,

856
00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:34,239
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I feel like we can talk all night,

857
00:47:34,320 --> 00:47:55,279
Speaker 1: but y'all, did y'all have a good time time? This

858
00:47:55,440 --> 00:47:56,719
Speaker 1: is what I want you to do. This is out

859
00:47:56,760 --> 00:47:59,160
Speaker 1: of exercise work. It's very simple. I want you to

860
00:47:59,239 --> 00:48:02,759
Speaker 1: close your eyes, close your eyes, and I want you

861
00:48:02,960 --> 00:48:11,400
Speaker 1: to envision your biggest, greatest, most unimaginable dream in your life.

862
00:48:13,040 --> 00:48:18,440
Speaker 1: Do you see it? Can you smell it? Can you

863
00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:23,680
Speaker 1: feel it? Open your eyes? It's yours Because if you've

864
00:48:23,719 --> 00:48:26,480
Speaker 1: seen it, that means it's already happened. And since it's

865
00:48:26,520 --> 00:48:28,840
Speaker 1: already happened, all you have to do is find a

866
00:48:28,960 --> 00:48:32,160
Speaker 1: way to get it and it doesn't matter if you

867
00:48:32,200 --> 00:48:34,960
Speaker 1: don't get it tomorrow. You got your whole life to

868
00:48:35,040 --> 00:48:37,040
Speaker 1: get it. And like I said before, as long as

869
00:48:37,040 --> 00:48:40,960
Speaker 1: you don't quit, you never fail. Dead Ass is a

870
00:48:41,040 --> 00:48:44,080
Speaker 1: production of iHeartMedia podcast Network and it is produced by

871
00:48:44,120 --> 00:48:47,520
Speaker 1: the Nora Opinion and Triple Follow the podcast on social

872
00:48:47,600 --> 00:48:50,239
Speaker 1: media at dead Ass, to podcasts, and never miss a Thing.