1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,720 Speaker 1: All right, shout out to Carla. It is her birthday today. Yeah, 2 00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:12,400 Speaker 1: welcome birthday girls heart. Thank you guys, and it's time 3 00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:18,200 Speaker 1: now for today's Strawberry Letter. If you need advice and relationships, work, dating, sex, 4 00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:21,040 Speaker 1: parenting and more, submit your Strawberry letter to Steve Harvey 5 00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:25,880 Speaker 1: FM and click submit Strawberry Letter. That's Steve HARVEYFM dot 6 00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:29,440 Speaker 1: com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading 7 00:00:29,440 --> 00:00:32,840 Speaker 1: your letter live on the air and just a're gonna 8 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:35,360 Speaker 1: read this one right here, right now. It could be yours. 9 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:38,360 Speaker 1: You never know, you never know. Buckle up and hold 10 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:40,080 Speaker 1: on tight. We got it for you here. It is 11 00:00:40,159 --> 00:00:45,760 Speaker 1: a Strawberry Letter subject my mother and my ex are besties. 12 00:00:46,159 --> 00:00:49,280 Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley. I've been divorced for almost three years, 13 00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:52,320 Speaker 1: and I moved away after the divorce to start anew. 14 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:56,640 Speaker 1: My husband was an avid cheater, and my mother finally 15 00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:59,080 Speaker 1: told me after he'd been having an affair with a 16 00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:02,440 Speaker 1: woman for over six months. My mother is employed by 17 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:06,600 Speaker 1: my ex husband as his accountant. He has two businesses 18 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:11,200 Speaker 1: that do very well in a small town therein. My 19 00:01:11,319 --> 00:01:15,279 Speaker 1: mother was a retired accountant when he and I met 20 00:01:15,319 --> 00:01:17,720 Speaker 1: and he fell in love with her and he hired her. 21 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:20,720 Speaker 1: When I say they fell in love, I mean it. 22 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:24,720 Speaker 1: Whenever he and I would have a disagreement, she always 23 00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:28,080 Speaker 1: tell me to consider his point of view. When he cheated. 24 00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:30,960 Speaker 1: I think she knew it all along and only told 25 00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:33,880 Speaker 1: me because my ten year old daughter saw him with 26 00:01:33,959 --> 00:01:38,720 Speaker 1: this woman. Excuse me. My daughter kept referencing daddy's friend 27 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:41,440 Speaker 1: at work, so I asked my mother and she spilled 28 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:45,119 Speaker 1: the teeth. Our relationship hasn't been the same since then, 29 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,800 Speaker 1: and she said it's because I divorced my husband. Her 30 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:51,880 Speaker 1: belief is that I should have kept my family together 31 00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:55,800 Speaker 1: no matter what. The things my husband did for his 32 00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:58,760 Speaker 1: girlfriend were the same things he did for me, So 33 00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:01,360 Speaker 1: it wasn't the cheating that got to me. It was 34 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:03,920 Speaker 1: the time he spent with her and the trip he 35 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:07,320 Speaker 1: took her on. I asked my mother to reconsider working 36 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:10,079 Speaker 1: for him, and she said that whatever we had going 37 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:15,600 Speaker 1: on should not affect her money. Our own daughter doesn't 38 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:18,079 Speaker 1: talk to my ex right now because she figured out 39 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:22,240 Speaker 1: who daddy's friend was. My mother called recently and said 40 00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:25,280 Speaker 1: she's trying to get the family together for Thanksgiving and 41 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:28,919 Speaker 1: she wants me there. She said, my ex will be 42 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:31,280 Speaker 1: there will be doing the turkey, and she would cook 43 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:34,640 Speaker 1: everything else. How can my own mother be so ignorant 44 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:37,800 Speaker 1: and invite him to dinner? Should I show up and 45 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:41,600 Speaker 1: curse them both out? Well, you know that sounds good 46 00:02:41,639 --> 00:02:44,480 Speaker 1: on paper, it really does. But but this is bad. 47 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:48,040 Speaker 1: I mean, this situation is bad, and yes, your mom 48 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:51,200 Speaker 1: is really wrong. I don't advise you to curse your 49 00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:54,440 Speaker 1: mom out. I mean, after all, she's all the way wrong. 50 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:58,440 Speaker 1: I agree with you one, but she is your mom. 51 00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:01,720 Speaker 1: She's not acting like a mom, though. I will say that, 52 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:04,240 Speaker 1: because her loyalty should be to you at all times, 53 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:08,720 Speaker 1: and not your ex. He's cheating, he's your ex husband. 54 00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:11,120 Speaker 1: She knew about it, didn't tell you. She was keeping 55 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:14,920 Speaker 1: these secrets all because of money. Is that why she 56 00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:18,680 Speaker 1: was doing it? I think this had to hurt you, 57 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:22,919 Speaker 1: and this is some kind of betrayal on your mom's part. 58 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:27,720 Speaker 1: The best thing you could do is decline her crazy, thoughtless, 59 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:32,079 Speaker 1: inconsiderate dinner invitation. Just don't go. Please make your own 60 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:35,440 Speaker 1: plan for you and your baby girl, your daughter, maybe 61 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:38,120 Speaker 1: some friends or whatever. But the main thing is to 62 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:40,600 Speaker 1: forget what they have going on at the mom's house 63 00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:44,760 Speaker 1: and just let that go. Your mother is just anyway 64 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:48,840 Speaker 1: after the holidays, I say, continue to distance yourself. This 65 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:53,080 Speaker 1: is a toxic situation. Stay away from it and let 66 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:55,120 Speaker 1: them do their thing. Let them do her if she 67 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:57,320 Speaker 1: wants to stay over there with him. You know the 68 00:03:57,400 --> 00:04:00,360 Speaker 1: lines across the line in the sand. It's divided it now. 69 00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:03,839 Speaker 1: Don't let her make you feel guilty for divorcing him. 70 00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:07,520 Speaker 1: That was a while ago, and you should. You definitely 71 00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:09,400 Speaker 1: did the wrong thing if he was doing all this 72 00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:12,920 Speaker 1: stuff that your mother said, and he obviously was. This 73 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:18,359 Speaker 1: is just so wrong on so many levels, Steve, My 74 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:21,480 Speaker 1: mother and my ex are besties, don't. I don't get this, 75 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:25,159 Speaker 1: especially from a male perspective. I just don't understand how 76 00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:30,120 Speaker 1: this operates and functions. But when you're talking about dysfunctional people, 77 00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:34,320 Speaker 1: then it's a little bit easier. You've been divorced for 78 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:37,880 Speaker 1: three years, you moved away to start new your husband 79 00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:41,800 Speaker 1: has a wasn't big cheetah, and your mother finally told 80 00:04:41,839 --> 00:04:44,279 Speaker 1: you after having an affair with a woman for over 81 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:48,520 Speaker 1: six months. Your mother is employed by your ex husband 82 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:51,560 Speaker 1: as his accountant. Here's where the problem is right here. 83 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:54,200 Speaker 1: So he's got two busy to do very well in 84 00:04:54,320 --> 00:05:00,240 Speaker 1: small town then my mother was a retired accountant. He 85 00:05:00,279 --> 00:05:03,160 Speaker 1: and I met, and he fell in love with her 86 00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:06,920 Speaker 1: and he hired her. Now here's a problem with the letter. 87 00:05:07,279 --> 00:05:09,520 Speaker 1: When I say they fell in love, I mean it. 88 00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:15,760 Speaker 1: There's a lot in that statement, ma'am, And I don't 89 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:19,600 Speaker 1: have the time to unpack it, but I'll just rearrange 90 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:24,719 Speaker 1: some stuff in the luggage. Whenever he told me, whenever 91 00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:29,080 Speaker 1: we had a disagreement, the girl's mother would always tell 92 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:31,920 Speaker 1: her to consider his point of view. Then when the 93 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:35,880 Speaker 1: dude cheated, the lady wrote the letter say, I think 94 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:39,000 Speaker 1: she knew it all along and only told me because 95 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:42,159 Speaker 1: my ten year old daughter saw him with this woman. 96 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:49,080 Speaker 1: So I'm assuming that she had the daughter before she 97 00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:53,159 Speaker 1: married the man, because she refers to the daughter as 98 00:05:53,279 --> 00:05:56,400 Speaker 1: my ten year old daughter. And then the daughter kept 99 00:05:56,440 --> 00:06:00,440 Speaker 1: referencing daddy's friend at work. So you asked your mother 100 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:04,880 Speaker 1: and she spilled the tea. Our relationship has been the 101 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:07,919 Speaker 1: same since then, and she said it was because I 102 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:10,479 Speaker 1: divorced my husband. Her belief is I should have kept 103 00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:15,800 Speaker 1: my family together no matter what. Now I think, ma'am, 104 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:18,040 Speaker 1: this is where you got a little bit going on. 105 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:22,520 Speaker 1: Maybe your mother tried to stay out of your business. 106 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:26,800 Speaker 1: Didn't have solid proof like the daughter didn't. She just 107 00:06:26,839 --> 00:06:29,680 Speaker 1: saw him somewhere, and you and your husband told her 108 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:33,559 Speaker 1: this is daddy's friend from work. That's why the daughter 109 00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:37,800 Speaker 1: was refacing the woman as daddy's friend. Hang on, thank 110 00:06:37,839 --> 00:06:39,479 Speaker 1: your mother's just trying to stay out of it. But 111 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:42,159 Speaker 1: I give you the real school. All right. We'll have 112 00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:45,560 Speaker 1: part two of Steve's response coming up at twenty three 113 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:48,960 Speaker 1: minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry Letters subject my mother 114 00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:51,760 Speaker 1: and my ex are besties? Will get back into it 115 00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:57,599 Speaker 1: right after this. You're listening Morning Show, All right, Come on, Steve, 116 00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:01,279 Speaker 1: let's recap today's strawberry letter. The sub mother and my 117 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:06,120 Speaker 1: ex are besties. This woman's been divorced for three years 118 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,320 Speaker 1: from her husband, who was a big cheater on her. 119 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:13,760 Speaker 1: When she met her husband, they introduced him to her mother. 120 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,960 Speaker 1: Her mother fell in love with him, and the girl says, 121 00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:19,200 Speaker 1: I mean fell in love with him, Like I said earlier. 122 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:21,680 Speaker 1: I think there's something behind that, but I don't have 123 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:23,920 Speaker 1: time to unpack that because you didn't mention that in 124 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:28,360 Speaker 1: the letter. Your daughter, who obviously you had before you 125 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:32,320 Speaker 1: married this man, made a reference one day to daddy's friend. 126 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:35,800 Speaker 1: At work, you inquired to your mother about who daddy's 127 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:39,080 Speaker 1: friend was. Finally she spilled the tea. She didn't have 128 00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:41,920 Speaker 1: to then, but she said, well, and I think your 129 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:44,840 Speaker 1: mother was trying to stay out of y'all's business because 130 00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:47,880 Speaker 1: she didn't have solid proof that the man was cheating, 131 00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:50,920 Speaker 1: but she had some inklings. So when you came to her, 132 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:54,320 Speaker 1: she told you she think the man is cheating. And 133 00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:57,320 Speaker 1: then you y'all's relationship ain't been the same sense because 134 00:07:57,360 --> 00:08:01,679 Speaker 1: you thought your mother should have told you right over. Wayne, Well, 135 00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:04,000 Speaker 1: it ain't your mama's bis since and I think that 136 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:06,240 Speaker 1: may have something to do with it. But then your 137 00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:10,720 Speaker 1: mother says it's because you divorce your husband and her 138 00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:13,520 Speaker 1: beliefs that you should have kept your family together no 139 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:18,960 Speaker 1: matter what. Now here's you say. Here's what you say 140 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:21,440 Speaker 1: the problem is, you say. The problem is the things 141 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:24,840 Speaker 1: your ex husband did for his girlfriend were the same 142 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:27,400 Speaker 1: things he did for me. So it wasn't the cheating 143 00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:29,880 Speaker 1: that got me. It was the time he spent with her, 144 00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:36,000 Speaker 1: in the trip he took home. That's the cheating. See, sisters, 145 00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:41,560 Speaker 1: don't yeah, don't talk about he did the same thing 146 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:47,480 Speaker 1: for me. That's that's what cheating. Is you seeing somebody? 147 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:51,720 Speaker 1: Why are you seeing somebody else? And what do adults 148 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:55,360 Speaker 1: do when they see each other? They spend time together. 149 00:08:56,120 --> 00:09:01,040 Speaker 1: How do they spend time together? They go somewhere. So 150 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:03,120 Speaker 1: what you're sitting a bit talking about this? The time 151 00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:04,680 Speaker 1: he's been with her in the trip, what was they 152 00:09:04,679 --> 00:09:09,240 Speaker 1: supposed to do? Everybody don't have a fair at lunch 153 00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:13,360 Speaker 1: in the backseat of the car. He got money, he 154 00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:17,560 Speaker 1: gonna do something a little bit different, So don't talk 155 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:20,240 Speaker 1: about it's the same thing that got you. That's what 156 00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:24,280 Speaker 1: cheating is, ma'am. You're just trying to find another reason 157 00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:26,800 Speaker 1: to say you didn't keep the family together. But you 158 00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:29,440 Speaker 1: don't have to. You don't want to stay. What to 159 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:33,760 Speaker 1: do because he cheated, that's all. Now it gets a 160 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:40,320 Speaker 1: little sticky. You came to your ass your mother to 161 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:43,320 Speaker 1: reconsider working for him, and she said that whatever we 162 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:48,559 Speaker 1: had going on should not affect her money. That's an 163 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:53,080 Speaker 1: interesting state, man, But he gets even more interesting though. 164 00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:58,320 Speaker 1: Our own daughter doesn't talk to my X right nine now. 165 00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:00,400 Speaker 1: It's our daughter, so I don't know wh your had 166 00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:03,440 Speaker 1: a baby skip there. Don't talk to her my ex 167 00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:06,280 Speaker 1: right now because she figured out whose daddy friend was. 168 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:09,520 Speaker 1: My mother called recently and says she's trying to get 169 00:10:09,559 --> 00:10:12,640 Speaker 1: the family together for Thanksgiving and she wants me there. 170 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:17,360 Speaker 1: Your mother is trying to repair the relationship, but she's stupid, 171 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:21,960 Speaker 1: so she said, your ex will be doing the turkey 172 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:29,840 Speaker 1: and she would cook everything. Now, now here is the thing. 173 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:34,120 Speaker 1: The a fab that the X had is probably over. 174 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:39,320 Speaker 1: He probably wants the best thing he ever had back. 175 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:43,680 Speaker 1: He don't went to the mother to get you back. 176 00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:48,080 Speaker 1: So now the mother says she's trying to get the 177 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:53,280 Speaker 1: family together. Your ex is gonna be doing the turkey 178 00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:56,559 Speaker 1: and she would cook everything else. How can my own 179 00:10:56,679 --> 00:11:00,920 Speaker 1: mother be so ignorant and invite him to dinner? Because 180 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:09,880 Speaker 1: your mama ignorant? It's okay, some people have mama's that's ignorant. 181 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:14,520 Speaker 1: You got one. But now here's the danger I see 182 00:11:14,559 --> 00:11:16,600 Speaker 1: in this. Should I show up and cursing both out? 183 00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:19,720 Speaker 1: Of course? Not? Why Why I add energy to that? 184 00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:21,480 Speaker 1: Why are you getting dressed to go over there to 185 00:11:21,559 --> 00:11:25,080 Speaker 1: cuss both of them out? First of all, if I 186 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:27,719 Speaker 1: were you, I would try to fix the relationship with 187 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:32,080 Speaker 1: my mother. That's what I would do. That's an important relationship. 188 00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:36,640 Speaker 1: She did give you life. Now do it sound like 189 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:41,560 Speaker 1: she wrong in this case. Absolutely, yeah, yes, But now 190 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:45,120 Speaker 1: if your husband is not trying to get back with you, 191 00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:50,959 Speaker 1: which I think the case is. Here is the spoiler alert. 192 00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:54,200 Speaker 1: You said your husband fell in love with your mother, 193 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:59,600 Speaker 1: and I mean fell in love them. Let me make 194 00:11:59,679 --> 00:12:02,000 Speaker 1: us stay about me and ladies in case you want 195 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:05,320 Speaker 1: to know where you staying with them? Man, If you 196 00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:10,800 Speaker 1: want to know where a man's heart is, the holidays 197 00:12:11,559 --> 00:12:17,920 Speaker 1: is where he is. If you want to know where 198 00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:24,320 Speaker 1: a man's heart is, the holidays is where he is. 199 00:12:25,559 --> 00:12:29,360 Speaker 1: So he's where he loves the family and he still 200 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,560 Speaker 1: loves hers what you're saying, because he's over, he's going 201 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:39,080 Speaker 1: to be over at the mom now but Thanksgiving. Yeah, now, 202 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:42,240 Speaker 1: you can take that one or two ways. I don't 203 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:45,880 Speaker 1: think you think your mama is seeing this man, but 204 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,640 Speaker 1: I do think your mother is attracted to his power. 205 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:57,800 Speaker 1: The power is money shooting. Well, okay, he hadn't provided 206 00:12:57,840 --> 00:13:00,880 Speaker 1: her with a job. She's told you should have stayed 207 00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:03,360 Speaker 1: with your family to hold your family together. Your mama 208 00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:07,120 Speaker 1: old school? All right, you want to quit, I'm going 209 00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:11,280 Speaker 1: to find out who really stuffed in there. Sport's talk 210 00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:14,280 Speaker 1: with Junior coming up in forty six minutes after right 211 00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:18,400 Speaker 1: after this, you're listening to the Stay Harvey Morning Show