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Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. Donald

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Speaker 1: Trump is, for all intents and purposes, a foreign spy

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Speaker 1: acting on behalf of Australia, and he should be treated

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Speaker 1: as we treat spies in this country, arrested, detained without bail,

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Speaker 1: treated as the threat to national security that they are,

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Speaker 1: and held as long as is necessary. Since the marri

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Speaker 1: Lago Trump Stolen classified documents nightmare broke upon US fourteen

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Speaker 1: months ago, the nightmare within the nightmare has been simple

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Speaker 1: and chilling. What if Trump took the secrets of the

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Speaker 1: United States of America and shared them with foreign governments

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Speaker 1: or foreign nationals or other foreigns buys? And now we

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Speaker 1: know that he has, and now we know that he

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Speaker 1: has violated the Espionage Act, has given away information about

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Speaker 1: our submarines that, according to New York Times sources, quote,

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Speaker 1: potentially endangered the US nuclear fleet. And the new mystery

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Speaker 1: is why has he not been charged with a violation

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Speaker 1: of eighteen US Code, Chapter thirty seven, Section seventy nine

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Speaker 1: to four gathering or delivering defense information to aid foreign governments?

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Speaker 1: And why is he not now facing quote imprisonment for

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Speaker 1: any term of years or for life unquote. We know

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Speaker 1: the name of the man Trump delivered defense information too.

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Speaker 1: We know his nationality, we know when and where Trump

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Speaker 1: delivered the information to him, we know what the information

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Speaker 1: delivered was. We know that Jack Smith's investigators know about

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Speaker 1: it and interviewed the man at least twice. And we

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Speaker 1: know who the man, in turn, shared the top secret

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Speaker 1: information with. It totals at least forty five other people,

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Speaker 1: including three of his home country's former prime ministers. ABC

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Speaker 1: News broke this story last night, and it is not

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Speaker 1: just astounding, it is astounding that it has not and

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Speaker 1: will not wipe out every other trivial news story currently

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Speaker 1: being regurgitated by the compliant media of this country. ABC's

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Speaker 1: sources report that in April twenty twenty one, which would

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Speaker 1: be let me see, roughly three months after Trump lost

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Speaker 1: any protections of the presidency, reel Or imagined a member

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Speaker 1: at Marri Lago, a balding Australian named Anthony Pratt with

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Speaker 1: orange hair bearing a startling resemblance to a baby orangutan,

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Speaker 1: approached Trump there quote looking to make conversation with him.

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Speaker 1: Pratt is a Australian billionaire, head of Pratt Industries, one

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Speaker 1: of the world's largest makers of corrugated packaging based in Georgia.

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Speaker 1: Pratt told Smith's investigators that he and Trump had discussed

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Speaker 1: one particular topic before, so that was his go to

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Speaker 1: move in the conversation. Starting at Mary Lago quote, he

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Speaker 1: brought up the American submarine fleet. What Anthony Pratt says

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Speaker 1: Trump told him about the American submarine fleet. Pratt would

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Speaker 1: then share with eleven of his own company's employees, ten

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Speaker 1: assorted Australian officials, six journalists, and the three former Australian

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Speaker 1: Prime ministers. And there are seven living former Australian Prime ministers.

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Speaker 1: So I guess we can count our blessings that the

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Speaker 1: secret submarine information did not reach a majority of them,

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Speaker 1: or reach Rupert Burdock or Nicole Kidman or the late

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Speaker 1: Dame Edna Everidge. Pratt brings up the American submarine fleet

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Speaker 1: and let me just read directly from the ABC report quote.

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Speaker 1: According to Pratt's account, as described by the sources, Pratt

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Speaker 1: told Trump he believed Australia should start buying its submarines

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Speaker 1: from the United States, to which an excited Trump, leaning

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Speaker 1: toward Pratt as if to be discreet, then told Pratt

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Speaker 1: two pieces of information about US submarines, the supposed exact

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Speaker 1: number of nuclear warheads they routinely carry, and exactly how

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Speaker 1: close they supposedly can get to a Russian submarine without

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Speaker 1: being detected. While Pratt told investigators he couldn't tell if

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Speaker 1: what Trump said about US submarines was real or just bluster,

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Speaker 1: investigators nevertheless asked Pratt not to repeat the numbers that

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Speaker 1: Trump allegedly told him, suggesting the information could be too

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Speaker 1: sensitive to relay further. A former Trump marri Lago employee

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Speaker 1: then told investigators that within minutes of Trump telling Pratt,

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Speaker 1: Pratt began tell a well everybody else in the world.

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Speaker 1: The Trump employee told the investigators that he was quote

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Speaker 1: bothered and shocked to hear Trump blurt out such secrets

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Speaker 1: to a foreign national. Pratt and the Trump employee agreed.

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Speaker 1: Trump did not show anybody any documents about this. Pratt

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Speaker 1: insists he only told the Australian government, evidently everybody in

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Speaker 1: the Australian government, evidently many who merely used to be

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Speaker 1: in the Australian government. He only told them because he

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Speaker 1: was advocating for his native country to buy the American submarines,

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Speaker 1: and ultimately it did buy them, and contemporaneous with giving

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Speaker 1: away the secret details of how stealthy they are and

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Speaker 1: how many nuclear warheads they can carry. Trump also told

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Speaker 1: Fox Business Channel that the US has quote the greatest

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Speaker 1: submarines in the world, the most powerful machines ever built,

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Speaker 1: and nobody knows where they are. Well, Anthony Pratt knows

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Speaker 1: where they are, and presumably the last three conservative Prime

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Speaker 1: Ministers of Australia Morris Turnbull a habit. They know where

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Speaker 1: they are, as do the eleven Pratt employees and the

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Speaker 1: ten officials and the six journalists. Trump gave away our

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Speaker 1: nuclear submarine secrets to a guy who makes corrugated boxes.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't matter if Australia has largely been a close

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Speaker 1: ally of this nation. It doesn't matter if Pratt invested

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Speaker 1: in plants in this country. It doesn't matter if Trump

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Speaker 1: attended the opening of a Pratt plant in Ohio in

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Speaker 1: twenty nineteen. It doesn't matter if, as The Times reports,

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Speaker 1: Pratt is on the list of possible witnesses in Trump's

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Speaker 1: Florida trial. It matters that after Trump was elected, Pratt

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Speaker 1: bought a membership at Marilago to gain access to the

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Speaker 1: prostitute President of the United States, and he got the access,

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Speaker 1: and he got it in spades. And he says he

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Speaker 1: visited Mari Lago ten times, and he once had dinner

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Speaker 1: with Trump and a US senator nearby, and he got

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Speaker 1: into the White House while one of the Prime ministers

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Speaker 1: was there. God knows which. I wonder if Pratt keeps

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Speaker 1: them straight in his own mind by remembering which ones

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Speaker 1: he told about American nuclear submarine secrets and which ones

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Speaker 1: he did not. None of that matters. What matters is

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Speaker 1: Trump compulsively shot off his big bazoo at his crap

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Speaker 1: shack country club to a guy who makes corrugated boxes,

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Speaker 1: and he was overheard doing so by one of his

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Speaker 1: employees at the club, by at least one of his

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Speaker 1: employees at the club. God knows who else heard him

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Speaker 1: that time. God knows who else heard him all the

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Speaker 1: other times. Whoever, with intent or reason to believe that

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Speaker 1: it is to be used to the injury of the

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Speaker 1: United States or to the advantage of a foreign nation, communicates, delivers,

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Speaker 1: or transmits to any foreign government, or to any representative, officer, agent, employees, subject,

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Speaker 1: or citizen thereof any document writing codebook, signal book, sketch, photograph, photographic, negative, blueprint, plan, map, model, note, instrument, appliance,

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Speaker 1: or information relating to the national defense shall be punished

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Speaker 1: by imprisonment for any term of years or for life.

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Speaker 1: It's espionage. Donald Trump committed espionage. He is not merely

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Speaker 1: trying to burn down representative government in this country again,

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Speaker 1: but in his spare time over these last three years,

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Speaker 1: he has been committing espionage. And he is, for all

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Speaker 1: intents and purposes, a foreign agent of at least one

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Speaker 1: other country, Australia. And when we find agents of other

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Speaker 1: countries who trade in information about how many nuclear warheads

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Speaker 1: can fit into one of our submarines, or how close

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Speaker 1: our submarines can get to the Russian submarines without the

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Speaker 1: Russians finding out they are there, we arrest those agents

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Speaker 1: and we keep them detained without bail, and if we

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Speaker 1: can arrange it, we keep them there for the rest

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Speaker 1: of their lives. And the government, no matter what the

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Speaker 1: fallout to this might be, needs to arrest Donald Trump

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Speaker 1: today for espionage, for spying on behalf of a foreign nation,

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Speaker 1: and we need to keep him detained without bail. And

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Speaker 1: instead of that, instead of hearing of Trump's arrest as

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Speaker 1: the spy he is. We hear instead that Trump attorneys

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Speaker 1: in Florida have filed a motion in Judge Aileen Cannon's

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Speaker 1: court seeking to delay his trial for stealing those documents

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Speaker 1: and giving them and the information they contain to everybody

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Speaker 1: in Australia except crocodile effing done. He wants it delayed

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Speaker 1: from May of next year until December of next year

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Speaker 1: because the secure facility assigned to the case is not

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Speaker 1: ready and thus he cannot access the classified documents central

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Speaker 1: to his case. And why doesn't he just get them

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Speaker 1: from Anthony Pratt? And instead of his arrest as a spy,

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Speaker 1: we hear that Trump attorneys John Laurow and Todd Blanche

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Speaker 1: have filed a motion in district court in Washington to

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Speaker 1: dismiss the entirety of the January sixth case because of

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Speaker 1: something they made up called presidential immunity, which I guess

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Speaker 1: you get from drinking bleach and eating light bulbs. Because

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Speaker 1: trying to seat fake electors and overturn illegal election and

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Speaker 1: usurp the presidency and stay in power illegally, they are

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Speaker 1: quote within the heartland of a president's official duties or

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Speaker 1: at least within the quote outer perimeter, and Trump was

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Speaker 1: only trying to enforce the election laws. And I have

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Speaker 1: two questions for mister Laurow and mister Blanche. How much

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Speaker 1: money is it taking to get you to represent a

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Speaker 1: trader and a spy like Trump? And secondly, did you

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Speaker 1: get it in advance, you whores? If these infuriating attempts

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Speaker 1: to stall so that the greatest criminal in American history

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Speaker 1: can get away with it again were insufficiently enraging messr's

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Speaker 1: Laurow and Blanche have added that because the Senate did

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Speaker 1: not convict Trump in his second impeachment after his coup attempts,

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Speaker 1: that acquittal renders Trump quote absolutely immune from any prosecution

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Speaker 1: for January sixth, which is exactly the opposite of what

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Speaker 1: his apologists said in January of twenty twenty one, and

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Speaker 1: exactly the opposite of what the Senate Majority leader Mitch

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Speaker 1: McConnell said as Trump was not being can victed, that

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Speaker 1: these matters were properly within the realm of criminal prosecution

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Speaker 1: and the criminal courts. And most infuriatingly, still, instead of

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Speaker 1: heading to jail as a spy, Trump may instead be

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Speaker 1: heading to the US Capital to create another campaign stunt

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Speaker 1: event by standing for the vacant speakership of the House.

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Speaker 1: He says he'd fill the job temporarily until they can

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Speaker 1: find a permanent one because he's a unifier, or he's

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Speaker 1: pretending to stand for the post until he realizes the

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Speaker 1: Speaker of the House has to actually work and not

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Speaker 1: just despite the title speak. Trump headed back to the

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Speaker 1: US Capital, proving the oldest cliche that the criminal always

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Speaker 1: returns to the scene of the crime, honest to God.

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Speaker 1: In a sane country, the debate right now would be

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Speaker 1: a jurisdictional battle. Who among you gets to arrest and

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Speaker 1: detain Trump first, the Department of Homeland Security or Judge

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Speaker 1: Chutkin in Washington for violating the terms of his bail,

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Speaker 1: or Judge Engron in New York for violating the gag order. Again. Trump,

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Speaker 1: attacking the judge's clerk on Tuesday, told to not again

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Speaker 1: do that or publicly refer to anybody on the judge's staff,

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Speaker 1: slandered the judge himself on Wednesday. Did that again yesterday

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Speaker 1: six forty four am Eastern. Another post on his crapshack

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Speaker 1: social media quote a radical left judge who came up

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Speaker 1: through Democrat club system. Then at seven oh eighty had

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Speaker 1: another brilliant thought quote a highly political judge, Judge Angron.

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Speaker 1: If you do not punish him, you are saying the

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Speaker 1: law does not apply to Trump. And if you say

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Speaker 1: the law does not apply to Trump, then it is

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Speaker 1: no law at all, and you are merely increasing the

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Speaker 1: chances that he regains power and uses it to punish

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Speaker 1: anyone who crossed him. And I hate to tell you this, Judge,

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Speaker 1: but that doesn't just mean me, It means you. This

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Speaker 1: has been grim stuff so far, so I think we

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Speaker 1: should let ourselves really enjoy the remainder of the news.

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Speaker 1: The news that someone has picked up on the rather

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Speaker 1: obvious Trump mistake that if he paid taxes on a

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Speaker 1: club that he owned on the basis that it's worth

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Speaker 1: twenty six million dollars, and now in court he insists

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Speaker 1: it's worth one billion, five hundred million dollars. Trump probably

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Speaker 1: owes the state of Florida some money. Congressman Jared Moskowitz

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Speaker 1: of that state has written to the assessor of Palm

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Speaker 1: Beach County noting the slight discrepancy. It's just a billion,

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Speaker 1: four hundred and seventy four million it's chump change if

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Speaker 1: you're a balding, orange haired Australian box manufacturer. If the

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Speaker 1: property value of Marri Lago is so much higher than

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Speaker 1: it was appraised, asked the congressman, will you be amending

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Speaker 1: the property value in line with the Trump family's belief

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Speaker 1: that the property is worth well over a billion dollars?

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Speaker 1: Thank you, congressman. Meanwhile, back in DC, let me circle

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Speaker 1: back to the speakership and this assumption that the Republicans,

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Speaker 1: who have proved time and time again that if there

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Speaker 1: are no more Democrats to attack other Republicans will do

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Speaker 1: just as well for Republican target practice, that they will

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Speaker 1: actually elect a successor to Kevin McCarthy someday says who

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Speaker 1: they are so utterly incapable of anything except conflict that

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Speaker 1: they let a handful of derelicts like Gates and Mace

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Speaker 1: and Burchett and Bob Good. They let eight scumbags grind

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Speaker 1: their majority's time in power to a halt. Who are

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Speaker 1: we thinking is going to compromise here? They may all

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Speaker 1: be too afraid to turn Trump down, but this still

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Speaker 1: assumes Trump is serious about being speaker. And I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: I don't see cash for him to pick up or

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Speaker 1: secret documents for him to steal as speaker or to

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Speaker 1: put it in his terms. I just to see what's

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Speaker 1: in it for him. He's the sucker, isn't he? Also,

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Speaker 1: we do not want the Republicans to elect a new

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Speaker 1: speaker because the little bow tide snotrag they have in

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Speaker 1: there now is an acting speaker. And guess what does

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Speaker 1: not count in the presidential line of succession right now?

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Speaker 1: That line of succession is Vice President Kamala Harris, and

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Speaker 1: then Senate President Pro Temporary Patty Murray, and then a

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Speaker 1: bunch of members of the Biden cabinet until the Republicans

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Speaker 1: choose their next future X speaker. The line of succession

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Speaker 1: is free of Republicans scum good. Three more legal larfs.

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Speaker 1: Trump sued Michael Cohen for five hundred million dollars for

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Speaker 1: allegedly violating attorney client privilege. It was just getting to

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Speaker 1: depositions Trump was supposed to sit next Monday. Trump's withdrawing

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Speaker 1: the suit without prejudice, meaning he can file it again later.

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Speaker 1: Only he won't because it's not just without prejudice, it's

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Speaker 1: without substance, but it's with a Trump deposition meantime, Sidney

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Speaker 1: Powell was again eaten by her own kraken. Again, the

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Speaker 1: judge in Georgia has denied her motion to dismiss her

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Speaker 1: Trump nineteen indictment based on prosecutorial misconduct that, like everything

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Speaker 1: else she has ever spoken of, evidently only she could see.

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Speaker 1: And best of all, as of yesterday morning, Mike Lindell

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Speaker 1: was being sued by Dominion Vote Machines for one billion,

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Speaker 1: three hundred million dollars for defamation, and he was being

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Speaker 1: sued by Smart Mattic voting machines for something unspecified but

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Speaker 1: close to one billion, three hundred million dollars. But then

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Speaker 1: things went downhill for Mike. His attorneys, Lewin and Lewin

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Speaker 1: and Parker Daniel's Kiboard LLC, have asked the judges in

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Speaker 1: the cases to let them withdraw as counsel for Lindell

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Speaker 1: and my Pillow. They are intimating that he has pulled

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Speaker 1: a Rudy Giuliani on them, that he owes them millions

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Speaker 1: of dollars in unpaid legal fees, and that now they

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Speaker 1: will have to sue him and my pillow. Well sheet

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Speaker 1: also of interest here, remember Madison Cawthorn, Remember what the

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Speaker 1: other Republicans did to Madison Cawthorn, Well, I can tell you,

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Speaker 1: without fear of contradiction, that they are now starting to

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Speaker 1: do exactly the same things to Matt Gates. They are

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Speaker 1: Cawthorning Matt Gates. So go make the popcorn. That's next.

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Speaker 1: This is countdown. This is countdown with Keith Olberman. Postscripts

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Speaker 1: to the news, some headlines, some updates, some snarks, some predictions. Dateline, Washington.

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Speaker 1: The Republicans are Cawthorning Matt Gates. Remember Madison Cawthorn, the

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Speaker 1: far right congress troll who evidently went too far for

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Speaker 1: his own party when he revealed drug fueled Republican congressional

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Speaker 1: sex parties, and the next thing he knew, there were

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Speaker 1: two hundred and twenty seven photos going viral of him

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Speaker 1: wearing address. Gates led the ouster of Speaker Kevin McCarthy

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Speaker 1: over the wishes of all but seven other House Republicans,

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Speaker 1: and they are ready to expel him from the Republican party,

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Speaker 1: along with the other seven who voted against McCarthy, including Nancy.

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Speaker 1: I'll even get out of bed for this, Mace. Congressman

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Speaker 1: David Joyce of Ohio says, quote if it was up

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Speaker 1: to me, I'd vote for it. It's a waste of

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Speaker 1: time having conversations with these people. He's so close. I

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Speaker 1: never thought Congressman leopard of face eating City, Florida would

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Speaker 1: eat my face. While other Republicans have warned they will

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Speaker 1: vote to expel Gates not just from the party but

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Speaker 1: from Congress itself if he's found guilty by the Ethics Committee,

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Speaker 1: the hints about that are now beginning to drop. In fact,

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Speaker 1: they're beginning to reign. Former Mike Pence Chief of staff

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Speaker 1: Mark Short said quote to say he came here as

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Speaker 1: a fiscal crusader. It's more likely he came here for

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Speaker 1: the teenage interns on Capitol Hill. Unquote, thank you, Nancy

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Speaker 1: Faust and former Congressman now Senator Mark Wayne Mullen of Oklahoma.

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Speaker 1: And seriously, Senator, what kind of name is that? Either

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Speaker 1: your Mark or your Wayne? Anyway, Senator Mullen added quote,

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Speaker 1: we had all seen the videos he was showing on

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Speaker 1: the house floor of the girls that he had slept with.

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Speaker 1: He'd brag about how he would crush ed medicine and

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Speaker 1: chase it with an energy drink so he could go

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Speaker 1: all night. Gates's reply to that quote, this is a lie,

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Speaker 1: a lie, which part Matt you mean it wasn't an

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Speaker 1: energy drink? Thank you again, Nancy Faust. Do you see

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Speaker 1: what we did there? Dateline Washington? Why is this country

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Speaker 1: going to hell? Or has already gone there? Reason number

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Speaker 1: three or four out of the top ten. The news

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Speaker 1: media has lost any understanding of what it is here for.

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Speaker 1: Politico playbook on the Speaker of the House favorite Steve Scalise,

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Speaker 1: always smiling and quick to joke. Scalise is the type

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Speaker 1: of politician you end up drinking too much wine with

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Speaker 1: at a steakhouse. We shouldn't be drinking with any politician,

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Speaker 1: you politico ninnies. Your job is to go cover them.

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Speaker 1: Your job is to, if necessary, expose them. Your job

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Speaker 1: is not, repeat, not never, to end up drinking too

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Speaker 1: much wine with them at a steakhouse and dayvine the

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Speaker 1: White House after biting yet another Secret Service agent, the

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Speaker 1: Biden rescue dog commander has been relocated. We do not

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Speaker 1: have details. I am hoping they relocated him to become

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Speaker 1: head of the Secret Service. Still, this does give Republicans

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Speaker 1: the opportunity to finally boast that after two years, have

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Speaker 1: tried to do nothing else they have finally gotten a

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Speaker 1: Biden out of the White House. This is Sportscentate. Wait,

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Speaker 1: not anymore, this is countdown with Keith Alberman in sports

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Speaker 1: Dick Butkus has died. There was never a better middle linebacker,

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Speaker 1: and never a National Football League player with a tougher reputation,

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Speaker 1: and never an NFL defensive player who more completely defined

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Speaker 1: an era in his franchise's history. Born in Chicago, starred

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Speaker 1: at the University of Illinois, third pick in the nineteen

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Speaker 1: sixty five draft, and five times first team All Pro

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Speaker 1: in just nine seasons for the Chicago Bears. Butckus died

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Speaker 1: in his sleep at his home in southern California. You

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Speaker 1: will hear stuff like that all day today. But Dick

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Speaker 1: Butkus was also intensely intelligent, well read, funny, and scrupulously

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Speaker 1: ethical in an era when that was not commonplace. I

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Speaker 1: knew him. We sat opposite each other during a five

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Speaker 1: hour flight from New York to Los Angeles one day

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Speaker 1: in nineteen eighty nine when he was doing color commentary

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Speaker 1: for CBS Football, and the moment he sat down, he

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Speaker 1: pulled a book out of his bag and began to

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Speaker 1: read it. During takeoff over the East coast through the Heartland.

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Speaker 1: He was still reading this new football book that I

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Speaker 1: had heard the NFL was trying to kill. It was

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Speaker 1: about the history of the game and organized crime. It

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Speaker 1: was called Interference by Dan Mouldea. For several hours, all

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Speaker 1: I heard out of Dick Buckus, sitting not five feet

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Speaker 1: from me, was a series of profound grunts. Somewhere over

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Speaker 1: like Topeka. He finally closed the book, ran his hands

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Speaker 1: over his lips and looked at me, and he barked,

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Speaker 1: you do the sports in LA right for our station.

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Speaker 1: I nodded, yes, We shook hands. He flapped the book

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Speaker 1: at me. You read this yet? I nodded, No, read it?

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Speaker 1: He commanded, It's about everybody I've ever known, and God

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Speaker 1: damn it, it's all true. Dick Buckus did not say

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Speaker 1: another word. The last I ever saw of him, he

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Speaker 1: was dancing nimbly, and he was six foot three and

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Speaker 1: at least two hundred and fifty pounds, dancing nimbly down

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Speaker 1: a very tiny set of stairs onto the tarmac at Lax,

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Speaker 1: all the while still reading that book and still brunting. Recently,

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Speaker 1: he and I had corresponded. Dick wanted to know if

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Speaker 1: I was taking care of myself or if the political

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Speaker 1: world was wearing me down, and how I should look

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Speaker 1: out for that. He had tweeted his selfie from the

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Speaker 1: Bears first game last month. He looked terrific. There was

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Speaker 1: a lot going on inside the big Man. Dick Budkus

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Speaker 1: would have been eighty one years old in December. From

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Speaker 1: Baseball mid reports of some kind of scandal over some

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Speaker 1: kind of improper use of the injury list. Ooh, the

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Speaker 1: general manager of the New York Mets, Billy Eppler, has resigned.

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Speaker 1: My friend Steve Gelbs, the in game reporter for the

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Speaker 1: Mets telecast, tweeted this news by noting, quote in a

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Speaker 1: shocking move, Well, what's shocking about it? I told you

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Speaker 1: Tuesday Billy Eppler would be gone because Epler had just

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Speaker 1: fired the Mets manager, Buck Showalter, on the premise that

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Speaker 1: the team had just hired a new president of baseball operations,

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Speaker 1: David Stearns. And to forgive me quote myself, the premise was,

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Speaker 1: Stearns gets to choose his own baseball people. If I'm

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Speaker 1: general manager Billy Eppler, I'm thinking, wait, I'm in baseball

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Speaker 1: and I'm a people. Am I going to get fired too. Wait,

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Speaker 1: what's that look on Billy's face? Meanwhile, in a genuinely

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Speaker 1: shocking move, the New York Post newspaper, Well, that's an exaggeration.

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Speaker 1: The New York Post has defended pitcher Trevor Bauer, suspended

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Speaker 1: for two years by Major League Baseball and then thrown

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Speaker 1: out of Japanese Baseball after a series of women had

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Speaker 1: accused him of battery and violence and sexual style assault.

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Speaker 1: Quote media lynch mob was way off in ex MLB

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Speaker 1: star Trevor Bauer's rape case. Read the headline than the

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Speaker 1: art in The New York Post featured one story of

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Speaker 1: one accuser and asked where does Trevor Bauer go to

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Speaker 1: get his reputation back? Seems to me the Post needs

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Speaker 1: to worry instead about getting its reputation back right now,

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Speaker 1: it is the paper that has defended the appalling athlete

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Speaker 1: Trevor Bauer. Well ex athlete. Stell ahead on countdown that

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Speaker 1: which combines Thurber and Red Barber and baseball and non

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Speaker 1: attempted murder The catbird Seat by James Thurber first time

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Speaker 1: for the daily roundup of the miss Greens, Morons and

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Speaker 1: Dunning Kruger effect specimens who constitute today's worst persons in

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Speaker 1: the world, the bronze in this world of republicans believing

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Speaker 1: neither in a democracy or a republic or representative government,

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Speaker 1: you tend to no longer notice places like Fox that

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Speaker 1: have been cheating and lying and advocating for fascism for years,

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Speaker 1: but every once in a while they earn their way

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Speaker 1: back onto this list. Yesterday morning, Fox and Friends joined

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Speaker 1: the apparent decision by the Propaganda Channel to abandon ron DeSantis'

401
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Speaker 1: presidential candidacy to instead try to buttress that of Nikki Haley.

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Speaker 1: They interviewed a quote Republican voter and Air Force veteran

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Speaker 1: from New Hampshire named Melinda Taranjo to explain why she

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Speaker 1: switched to supporting Haley and why Haley's doing so well

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Speaker 1: in New Hampshire. And she gushed and talked about Haley,

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Speaker 1: this and Haley that. Not once did anybody mention that

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Speaker 1: the guest Melinda Taranjo, is New Hampshire state co chair

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Speaker 1: of Nikki Haley for President. What a coincidence? Fox, What

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Speaker 1: a coincidence? Honestly nationalized News corp Seize them and replace

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Speaker 1: all the programming on all their networks with refeeds of PBS,

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Speaker 1: the runners up Target stores. They've announced they are closing

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Speaker 1: nine of their retail stores across the nation, and they

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Speaker 1: have fed this Republican trope that the law has failed

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Speaker 1: and they had to do this because of out of

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Speaker 1: control shoplifters. And it turns out sure looks like Target

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Speaker 1: is lying the new site. Popular Information analyzed some of

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Speaker 1: the closures. The store Target is closing in Harlem had

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Speaker 1: the lowest number of shoplifting reports of all of its

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Speaker 1: stores in Upper Manhattan this year. The store Target is

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Speaker 1: closing in San Francisco, same thing, twenty three shoplifting episodes.

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Speaker 1: Another store that they're keeping open nearby, three to eighty

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Speaker 1: five Seattle, same thing. This looks like Target made some

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Speaker 1: bad overstock decisions and it's trying to make it look

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Speaker 1: like it's not being run by a bunch of idiots

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Speaker 1: and instead blaming those awful liberal cities. Also, why are

426
00:31:15,755 --> 00:31:20,235
Speaker 1: you shopping at Target? But our winners Sage Steel and

427
00:31:20,395 --> 00:31:24,795
Speaker 1: Bill Maher. These are not the worst two people I've

428
00:31:24,875 --> 00:31:27,715
Speaker 1: ever worked with out of the twenty or thirty thousand,

429
00:31:27,955 --> 00:31:31,035
Speaker 1: but they are top ten and one event in which

430
00:31:31,075 --> 00:31:35,355
Speaker 1: they screw something up this big together there ought to

431
00:31:35,395 --> 00:31:39,355
Speaker 1: be a holiday, declared Steele, who got fired by ESPN

432
00:31:39,395 --> 00:31:43,075
Speaker 1: after she attacked President Obama for identifying as black and

433
00:31:43,195 --> 00:31:47,515
Speaker 1: attacked the network's COVID vaccine nation requirements, and because they

434
00:31:47,555 --> 00:31:49,955
Speaker 1: had not fired her over the previous fourteen years she

435
00:31:50,075 --> 00:31:53,435
Speaker 1: worked there, to which I say, bravo you ESPN executives

436
00:31:53,475 --> 00:31:57,155
Speaker 1: and staffers. Your bravery is more than I could have achieved.

437
00:31:58,715 --> 00:32:01,715
Speaker 1: Steele is now being pitched as a Republican candidate for

438
00:32:01,795 --> 00:32:06,875
Speaker 1: the areas surrounding, but not include, the ESPN campus in Connecticut.

439
00:32:07,395 --> 00:32:11,195
Speaker 1: She went on Mar's podcast and she told Mar that

440
00:32:11,235 --> 00:32:13,835
Speaker 1: when she interviewed President Biden in twenty twenty one, it

441
00:32:13,915 --> 00:32:17,355
Speaker 1: was quote the saddest thing because she thought he was

442
00:32:17,435 --> 00:32:22,715
Speaker 1: confused and quote couldn't finish his sentences. Okay, I think

443
00:32:22,715 --> 00:32:25,315
Speaker 1: I speak for everybody whoever co anchored with Sage Steel

444
00:32:25,355 --> 00:32:28,115
Speaker 1: on Sports Center when I say, or worked with her,

445
00:32:28,795 --> 00:32:31,515
Speaker 1: when I say, of course Biden couldn't finish his sentences,

446
00:32:32,195 --> 00:32:35,355
Speaker 1: she was talking to him and wherever and whenever you

447
00:32:35,475 --> 00:32:39,235
Speaker 1: talk to Sage Steele, she has never let anybody finish

448
00:32:39,315 --> 00:32:44,795
Speaker 1: their sentences. She constantly interrupts and talks over them. Steele

449
00:32:44,915 --> 00:32:48,035
Speaker 1: also mocked Biden to mar By telling of what went

450
00:32:48,075 --> 00:32:51,515
Speaker 1: on before their interview began, so I can hear him,

451
00:32:51,555 --> 00:32:54,195
Speaker 1: and he goes, what is this for? Wait, what's her name?

452
00:32:54,515 --> 00:32:57,475
Speaker 1: I was going, Oh, my god. Apart from the fact

453
00:32:57,475 --> 00:33:01,275
Speaker 1: that nobody knows who Sage Steel is, nor should the

454
00:33:01,315 --> 00:33:04,395
Speaker 1: president of the United States be expected to, it was

455
00:33:04,435 --> 00:33:07,435
Speaker 1: say Age Steele, who in twenty nineteen did not know

456
00:33:07,555 --> 00:33:10,715
Speaker 1: enough about open microphones and television and who might be

457
00:33:10,755 --> 00:33:14,155
Speaker 1: able to hear her before a show actually started, that

458
00:33:14,235 --> 00:33:17,595
Speaker 1: she chose that moment to insult and abuse me to

459
00:33:17,715 --> 00:33:21,235
Speaker 1: the producer a minute to air, and then when I

460
00:33:21,275 --> 00:33:24,355
Speaker 1: told her I could hear her, she laughed and pretended

461
00:33:24,395 --> 00:33:28,315
Speaker 1: she had not been talking about me. Steele mocked Biden

462
00:33:28,355 --> 00:33:31,955
Speaker 1: for telling stories of his career as an athlete. The interview,

463
00:33:31,995 --> 00:33:34,075
Speaker 1: of course, was for the pregame show for the opening

464
00:33:34,075 --> 00:33:36,755
Speaker 1: of the twenty twenty one baseball season. Also, what are

465
00:33:36,755 --> 00:33:40,635
Speaker 1: you going to talk to Sage Steele about policy? Quote?

466
00:33:40,715 --> 00:33:43,115
Speaker 1: I thought it was so sad because I realized that's

467
00:33:43,115 --> 00:33:45,315
Speaker 1: why he was in the basement during the whole election cycle,

468
00:33:45,555 --> 00:33:48,355
Speaker 1: because even then he couldn't finish his sentences. He struggled,

469
00:33:49,435 --> 00:33:52,595
Speaker 1: this is the kind of nitwit Sage Steele is she

470
00:33:52,755 --> 00:33:56,275
Speaker 1: read somewhere or had it read to her that Biden

471
00:33:56,395 --> 00:33:59,395
Speaker 1: quote was in the basement during the whole election cycle,

472
00:33:59,435 --> 00:34:01,835
Speaker 1: which he was not, even though there was a pandemic,

473
00:34:01,875 --> 00:34:04,995
Speaker 1: which evidently she does not believe was real. She was

474
00:34:05,035 --> 00:34:08,595
Speaker 1: told this, and as a good little Republican nitwit, she

475
00:34:08,755 --> 00:34:11,875
Speaker 1: believed it. And nowhere in any of her complaints about

476
00:34:11,875 --> 00:34:15,155
Speaker 1: Biden's on air performance was the recognition that the president

477
00:34:15,275 --> 00:34:19,675
Speaker 1: does have a speech impediment which comes out especially when

478
00:34:19,675 --> 00:34:22,915
Speaker 1: he's tired, and which is a pretty good explanation if

479
00:34:22,955 --> 00:34:25,155
Speaker 1: you seem to be struggling while doing an interview with

480
00:34:25,195 --> 00:34:29,595
Speaker 1: some witted sportscaster. Now, Sage Steele does not have a

481
00:34:29,715 --> 00:34:34,395
Speaker 1: speech impediment. Yet ESPN Sports Center producers and their bosses

482
00:34:34,875 --> 00:34:38,675
Speaker 1: and the executives and upper management explained to me the

483
00:34:38,715 --> 00:34:41,155
Speaker 1: first time I worked with her that the series of

484
00:34:41,195 --> 00:34:45,755
Speaker 1: pre recorded segments of play by play or interviews that

485
00:34:45,915 --> 00:34:48,755
Speaker 1: used to precede stories that she read on the show,

486
00:34:48,755 --> 00:34:52,035
Speaker 1: the so called stamps. There's a Tom Brady story, so

487
00:34:52,195 --> 00:34:54,595
Speaker 1: here's play by play for thirty seconds of Tom Brady.

488
00:34:54,675 --> 00:34:57,435
Speaker 1: That kind of thing they were put in the show

489
00:34:57,795 --> 00:35:01,555
Speaker 1: to make sure she had no opportunity to try to

490
00:35:01,595 --> 00:35:04,395
Speaker 1: talk to the other anchor or to add lib and

491
00:35:04,395 --> 00:35:07,075
Speaker 1: could I only read the script sitting in front of

492
00:35:07,155 --> 00:35:10,075
Speaker 1: her that was written for her. She has never said

493
00:35:10,115 --> 00:35:14,635
Speaker 1: anything ad lib that wasn't unbelievably stupid. We can't risk it,

494
00:35:15,075 --> 00:35:19,115
Speaker 1: one executive told me, And as to Bill Maher, who

495
00:35:19,195 --> 00:35:22,475
Speaker 1: platformed her, I don't think I'm telling anything out of

496
00:35:22,475 --> 00:35:25,915
Speaker 1: school here. Anybody who's met Bill Maher knows this. But

497
00:35:25,995 --> 00:35:28,435
Speaker 1: since my first appearance on one of his shows in

498
00:35:28,515 --> 00:35:31,275
Speaker 1: two thousand, I have been told by a series of

499
00:35:31,315 --> 00:35:35,115
Speaker 1: his producers never to bring any women with me to

500
00:35:35,195 --> 00:35:39,235
Speaker 1: the show because if they were attractive, he would hit

501
00:35:39,275 --> 00:35:42,355
Speaker 1: on them, and that if I couldn't understand why a

502
00:35:42,435 --> 00:35:45,315
Speaker 1: particular woman was one of his guests on one of

503
00:35:45,355 --> 00:35:47,915
Speaker 1: the shows I was appearing on, it was because he

504
00:35:48,035 --> 00:35:53,075
Speaker 1: was hitting on them, Sage Steele and Bill. I wonder

505
00:35:53,115 --> 00:35:58,035
Speaker 1: why he was interviewing Sage Steele, mar two Days Worst

506
00:35:58,515 --> 00:36:15,515
Speaker 1: Parsons and also Mo here's the number one story on

507
00:36:15,555 --> 00:36:17,995
Speaker 1: the Countdown, And since it is the weekend edition, it's

508
00:36:18,035 --> 00:36:22,275
Speaker 1: time for some James Thurber. The Catbirds Seat combines two

509
00:36:22,355 --> 00:36:26,075
Speaker 1: of my all time favorite things, Thurber and baseball broadcasting,

510
00:36:26,635 --> 00:36:29,475
Speaker 1: as Thurber will reveal in the story, The title comes

511
00:36:29,475 --> 00:36:33,075
Speaker 1: from a catchphrase used by the Brooklyn Dodgers legendary announcer

512
00:36:33,155 --> 00:36:36,915
Speaker 1: Red Barber, the man who trained Vince Scully and is

513
00:36:36,955 --> 00:36:40,355
Speaker 1: my late friend Vin's only true competition for greatest baseball

514
00:36:40,395 --> 00:36:43,555
Speaker 1: play by playing man of all time. I met Red

515
00:36:43,595 --> 00:36:46,795
Speaker 1: Barber once I interviewed him for CNN. He called me

516
00:36:46,955 --> 00:36:50,755
Speaker 1: Keith throughout the interview. I was so starstruck. It's pretty

517
00:36:50,835 --> 00:36:55,955
Speaker 1: much all I remember from the interview. Anyway. Bert Lancaster

518
00:36:56,395 --> 00:36:59,075
Speaker 1: bought the movie rights to this story and he got

519
00:36:59,115 --> 00:37:02,995
Speaker 1: Billy Wilder to commit to direct it. Well, how come

520
00:37:02,995 --> 00:37:06,595
Speaker 1: you've never heard of this perfect sounding film, The Catbird Seat,

521
00:37:06,875 --> 00:37:11,275
Speaker 1: directed by Billy Wilder. They sold the rights and in

522
00:37:11,355 --> 00:37:14,995
Speaker 1: nineteen sixty the film was made, but they relocated it

523
00:37:15,035 --> 00:37:20,035
Speaker 1: from Manhattan to Scotland, starring Peter Sellars dressed up as

524
00:37:20,075 --> 00:37:25,635
Speaker 1: an old man as mister Martin. It's okay unless you've

525
00:37:25,675 --> 00:37:30,115
Speaker 1: read the story or had it read to you from

526
00:37:30,155 --> 00:37:34,835
Speaker 1: the Thurber Carnival nineteen forty five, The Catbird Seat by

527
00:37:34,955 --> 00:37:40,035
Speaker 1: James Thurber. Mister Martin bought the pack of camels on

528
00:37:40,115 --> 00:37:43,035
Speaker 1: Monday night in the most crowded cigar store on Broadway.

529
00:37:43,275 --> 00:37:45,755
Speaker 1: It was theater time, and seven or eight men were

530
00:37:45,755 --> 00:37:49,075
Speaker 1: buying cigarettes. The clerk didn't even glance at mister Martin,

531
00:37:49,115 --> 00:37:51,795
Speaker 1: who put the pack in his overcoat pocket and went out.

532
00:37:52,715 --> 00:37:55,595
Speaker 1: If any of the staff at F and S had

533
00:37:55,635 --> 00:37:59,635
Speaker 1: seen him buy the cigarettes, they would have been astonished,

534
00:38:00,555 --> 00:38:03,195
Speaker 1: for it was generally known that mister Martin did not smoke,

535
00:38:03,355 --> 00:38:08,235
Speaker 1: and never had. No one saw him. It was just

536
00:38:08,275 --> 00:38:10,675
Speaker 1: a week to the day since mister Martin had decided

537
00:38:10,675 --> 00:38:16,355
Speaker 1: to rub out missus old Jean Barrows. The term rub

538
00:38:16,555 --> 00:38:20,795
Speaker 1: out pleased him because it suggested nothing more than the

539
00:38:20,835 --> 00:38:24,995
Speaker 1: correction of an error, in this case, an error of

540
00:38:25,075 --> 00:38:29,195
Speaker 1: mister Fitweiler. Mister Martin had spent each night of the

541
00:38:29,235 --> 00:38:32,115
Speaker 1: past week working out his plan and examining it as

542
00:38:32,155 --> 00:38:35,075
Speaker 1: he walked home. Now he went over it again for

543
00:38:35,195 --> 00:38:40,035
Speaker 1: the hundredth time. He resented the element of imprecision, the

544
00:38:40,075 --> 00:38:43,995
Speaker 1: margin of guesswork that entered into the business. The project,

545
00:38:44,395 --> 00:38:47,955
Speaker 1: as he had worked it out, was casual and bold.

546
00:38:48,555 --> 00:38:53,435
Speaker 1: The risks were considerable. Something might go wrong anywhere along

547
00:38:53,475 --> 00:38:57,755
Speaker 1: the line, and therein lay the cunning of his scheme.

548
00:38:58,195 --> 00:39:02,155
Speaker 1: No one would ever see in the cautious, painstaking hand

549
00:39:02,195 --> 00:39:05,235
Speaker 1: of Irwin Martin, head of the filing department at f

550
00:39:05,315 --> 00:39:09,555
Speaker 1: and S, of whom mister Fitweiler had once said, man

551
00:39:09,675 --> 00:39:14,515
Speaker 1: is fallible, but Martin isn't. No one would see his hand,

552
00:39:15,475 --> 00:39:21,955
Speaker 1: that is, unless he were caught in the act. Sitting

553
00:39:21,955 --> 00:39:25,275
Speaker 1: in his apartment drinking a glass of milk, mister Martin

554
00:39:25,355 --> 00:39:28,995
Speaker 1: reviewed his case against missus Old Jean Barrows, as he

555
00:39:29,115 --> 00:39:33,675
Speaker 1: had every night for seven nights. He began at the beginning.

556
00:39:34,155 --> 00:39:38,635
Speaker 1: Her quacking voice and braying laugh had first profaned the

557
00:39:38,715 --> 00:39:43,555
Speaker 1: halls of FNS. On March seventh, nineteen forty one. Mister

558
00:39:43,675 --> 00:39:47,955
Speaker 1: Martin had a head for dates. Old Roberts, the personnel chief,

559
00:39:47,955 --> 00:39:52,315
Speaker 1: had introduced her as the newly appointed special advisor to

560
00:39:52,355 --> 00:39:56,035
Speaker 1: the president of the firm, mister Fitweiler. The woman had

561
00:39:56,075 --> 00:40:00,195
Speaker 1: appalled mister Martin instantly, but he had not shown it.

562
00:40:00,955 --> 00:40:03,155
Speaker 1: He had given her his dry hand, a look of

563
00:40:03,235 --> 00:40:08,595
Speaker 1: studious concentration, a faint smile. Well, she said, looking at

564
00:40:08,595 --> 00:40:11,195
Speaker 1: the papers on his desk, are you lifting the ox

565
00:40:11,235 --> 00:40:15,755
Speaker 1: cart out of the ditch. As mister Martin recalled that

566
00:40:15,915 --> 00:40:20,555
Speaker 1: moment over his milk, he squirmed slightly. He must keep

567
00:40:20,555 --> 00:40:22,995
Speaker 1: his mind, on her crimes as a special advisor, not

568
00:40:23,035 --> 00:40:27,555
Speaker 1: on her peccadillos as a personality. This he found difficult

569
00:40:27,595 --> 00:40:31,195
Speaker 1: to do. In spite of entering an objection and sustaining it.

570
00:40:31,235 --> 00:40:34,635
Speaker 1: The faults of the woman as a woman kept chattering

571
00:40:34,675 --> 00:40:38,115
Speaker 1: on in his mind like an unruly witness. She had

572
00:40:38,635 --> 00:40:42,595
Speaker 1: for almost two years now baited him in the halls,

573
00:40:43,075 --> 00:40:45,755
Speaker 1: in the elevator, even in his own office, into which

574
00:40:45,795 --> 00:40:50,875
Speaker 1: she romped now and then like a circus horse. She

575
00:40:51,115 --> 00:40:54,715
Speaker 1: was constantly shouting these silly questions at him. Are you

576
00:40:54,755 --> 00:40:57,475
Speaker 1: lifting the ox cart out of the ditch? Are you

577
00:40:57,555 --> 00:41:00,475
Speaker 1: tearing up the pea patch? Are you hollering down the

578
00:41:00,555 --> 00:41:03,635
Speaker 1: rain barrel? Are you scraping around the bottom of the

579
00:41:03,675 --> 00:41:10,435
Speaker 1: pickle barrel? Are you sitting in the catmirried seat. It

580
00:41:10,635 --> 00:41:16,235
Speaker 1: was Joey Hart, one of mister Martin's two assistants, who

581
00:41:16,275 --> 00:41:20,195
Speaker 1: had explained what the gibberish meant. She must be a

582
00:41:20,235 --> 00:41:24,075
Speaker 1: Dodger fan, he had said, Red Bob announces the Dodger

583
00:41:24,155 --> 00:41:27,195
Speaker 1: games over the radio, and he uses these expressions, picked

584
00:41:27,235 --> 00:41:31,555
Speaker 1: them up down south. Joey had gone on to explain

585
00:41:31,715 --> 00:41:35,035
Speaker 1: one or two tearing up the pea patch meant going

586
00:41:35,115 --> 00:41:39,955
Speaker 1: on a rampage. Sitting in the catbirds seat meant sitting

587
00:41:39,995 --> 00:41:42,795
Speaker 1: pretty like a batter with three balls and no strikes

588
00:41:42,835 --> 00:41:46,475
Speaker 1: on him. Mister Martin dismissed all this with an effort.

589
00:41:46,915 --> 00:41:49,955
Speaker 1: It had been annoying, it had driven him near to distraction,

590
00:41:50,355 --> 00:41:52,915
Speaker 1: but he was too solid a man to be moved

591
00:41:53,595 --> 00:41:59,915
Speaker 1: to murder by anything so childish. It was unfortunate, he reflected,

592
00:41:59,955 --> 00:42:03,155
Speaker 1: as he passed on to the important charges against Missus Barrows,

593
00:42:03,395 --> 00:42:06,595
Speaker 1: that he had stood up on it so well. He

594
00:42:06,635 --> 00:42:13,235
Speaker 1: had maintained always an outward appearance of polite tolerance. Why

595
00:42:13,755 --> 00:42:17,155
Speaker 1: I even believe you like the woman Mispaired, his other

596
00:42:17,195 --> 00:42:20,675
Speaker 1: assistant had once said to him, he had simply smiled

597
00:42:22,115 --> 00:42:24,355
Speaker 1: a gavel wrapped in mister Martin's mind, and the case

598
00:42:24,395 --> 00:42:28,275
Speaker 1: proper was resumed. Missus Aul Jean Barrows stood charged with wilful,

599
00:42:28,435 --> 00:42:32,155
Speaker 1: flatant and persistent attempts to destroy the efficiency and system

600
00:42:32,835 --> 00:42:36,875
Speaker 1: of fn S. It was confident material and relevant to

601
00:42:36,915 --> 00:42:40,875
Speaker 1: review her advent and rise to power. Mister Martin had

602
00:42:40,875 --> 00:42:43,475
Speaker 1: got the story from Miss Paired, who seemed always able

603
00:42:43,475 --> 00:42:48,915
Speaker 1: to find things out. According to her, Missus Barrows had

604
00:42:48,955 --> 00:42:53,115
Speaker 1: met mister Fitweller at a party where she had rescued

605
00:42:53,155 --> 00:42:56,315
Speaker 1: him from the embraces of a powerfully built, drunken man

606
00:42:56,595 --> 00:42:59,515
Speaker 1: who had mistaken the president of F and S for

607
00:42:59,555 --> 00:43:05,155
Speaker 1: a famous retired middle Western football coach. She had led

608
00:43:05,195 --> 00:43:08,035
Speaker 1: him to a sofa and somehow worked upon him a

609
00:43:08,115 --> 00:43:13,115
Speaker 1: monstrous magic. The aging gentleman had jumped to the conclusion

610
00:43:13,155 --> 00:43:16,435
Speaker 1: there and then that this was a woman of singular attainments,

611
00:43:16,715 --> 00:43:19,315
Speaker 1: equipped to bring out the best in him and in

612
00:43:19,355 --> 00:43:23,195
Speaker 1: the firm. A week later he had introduced her into

613
00:43:23,355 --> 00:43:30,395
Speaker 1: F and S as his special adviser. On that day,

614
00:43:30,675 --> 00:43:36,195
Speaker 1: Confusion got its foot in the door. After miss Tyson,

615
00:43:36,235 --> 00:43:38,795
Speaker 1: mister Brundage, and mister Bartlett had been fired and mister

616
00:43:38,835 --> 00:43:41,755
Speaker 1: Munson had taken his hat and stalked out mailing. In

617
00:43:41,835 --> 00:43:45,915
Speaker 1: his resignation letter, Old Roberts had been emboldened to speak

618
00:43:45,995 --> 00:43:49,755
Speaker 1: to mister Fitwiler. He mentioned that mister Munson's department had

619
00:43:49,755 --> 00:43:53,835
Speaker 1: become a little disrupted, and hadn't they perhaps better resumed

620
00:43:53,835 --> 00:43:57,955
Speaker 1: the old system there? Mister Fitwiler had said, certainly not.

621
00:43:58,795 --> 00:44:02,555
Speaker 1: He had the greatest faith in missus Barrow's ideas. They

622
00:44:02,635 --> 00:44:08,635
Speaker 1: require a little seasoning, all, he had added. Mister Roberts

623
00:44:08,635 --> 00:44:12,315
Speaker 1: had given it up. Mister Martin reviewed in detail all

624
00:44:12,355 --> 00:44:15,315
Speaker 1: the changes wrought by missus Barrow's She had begun chipping

625
00:44:15,355 --> 00:44:18,275
Speaker 1: at the cornices of the firm's edifice, and now she

626
00:44:18,435 --> 00:44:23,915
Speaker 1: was swinging at the foundation stones with a pickaxe. Mister

627
00:44:23,995 --> 00:44:26,315
Speaker 1: Martin came now in his summing up to the afternoon

628
00:44:26,355 --> 00:44:31,155
Speaker 1: of Monday, November two, nineteen forty two, just one week ago.

629
00:44:31,515 --> 00:44:35,235
Speaker 1: On that day, at three pm, Missus Barrows had bounced

630
00:44:35,275 --> 00:44:38,995
Speaker 1: into his office. Boo, she had yelled, are you scraping

631
00:44:38,995 --> 00:44:43,395
Speaker 1: around the bottom of the pickle barrel? Mister Martin had

632
00:44:43,395 --> 00:44:46,715
Speaker 1: looked at her from under his green eye shade, Seeing nothing,

633
00:44:47,795 --> 00:44:50,635
Speaker 1: she had begun to wander about the office, taking it

634
00:44:50,675 --> 00:44:54,115
Speaker 1: in with her great popping eyes. Do you really need

635
00:44:54,355 --> 00:45:00,595
Speaker 1: all these filing cabinets, she had demanded. Suddenly, mister Martin's

636
00:45:00,795 --> 00:45:05,755
Speaker 1: heart had jumped each of these fires, he had said,

637
00:45:05,835 --> 00:45:08,835
Speaker 1: keeping his voice even plays an indispensable part in the

638
00:45:08,955 --> 00:45:12,995
Speaker 1: system of f and s. She had brayed at him,

639
00:45:13,155 --> 00:45:16,555
Speaker 1: while don't tear up the pea patch and gone to

640
00:45:16,595 --> 00:45:20,475
Speaker 1: the door. From there she had bawled, but you sure

641
00:45:20,555 --> 00:45:25,595
Speaker 1: have got a lot of fines scrap in here, mister

642
00:45:25,675 --> 00:45:29,275
Speaker 1: Martin could no longer doubt that the finger was on

643
00:45:29,555 --> 00:45:34,195
Speaker 1: his beloved department. Her pick axe was on the upswing,

644
00:45:34,315 --> 00:45:38,235
Speaker 1: poised for the first blow. It had not come yet.

645
00:45:38,675 --> 00:45:41,355
Speaker 1: He had received no blue memo from the enchanted mister

646
00:45:41,395 --> 00:45:46,875
Speaker 1: Fitweler bearing nonsensical instructions deriving from this obscene woman. But

647
00:45:46,915 --> 00:45:49,115
Speaker 1: there was no doubt in mister Martin's mind that one

648
00:45:49,115 --> 00:45:54,195
Speaker 1: would be forthcoming. He must act quickly. Already a precious

649
00:45:54,235 --> 00:45:58,875
Speaker 1: week had gone by. Mister Martin stood up in his

650
00:45:58,955 --> 00:46:03,355
Speaker 1: living room, still holding his milk glass. Gentleman of the jury,

651
00:46:03,475 --> 00:46:09,075
Speaker 1: he said to himself, I demand the death penalty for

652
00:46:09,195 --> 00:46:15,515
Speaker 1: this horrible person. The next day, mister Martin followed his

653
00:46:15,595 --> 00:46:18,475
Speaker 1: routine as usual. He polished his glasses more often and

654
00:46:18,515 --> 00:46:22,315
Speaker 1: once sharpened an already sharp pencil. But not even mispaired noticed.

655
00:46:22,955 --> 00:46:26,035
Speaker 1: Only once did he catch sight of his victim. She

656
00:46:26,115 --> 00:46:28,835
Speaker 1: swept past him in the hall with the patronizing hai

657
00:46:29,995 --> 00:46:32,115
Speaker 1: at five point thirty. He walked home as usual and

658
00:46:32,155 --> 00:46:35,395
Speaker 1: had a glass of milk as usual. He had never

659
00:46:35,555 --> 00:46:39,275
Speaker 1: drunk anything stronger in his life, unless you could count

660
00:46:39,315 --> 00:46:43,795
Speaker 1: ginger Ale. The late Sam Schlosser, The s of F

661
00:46:43,875 --> 00:46:46,035
Speaker 1: and S had praised mister Martin at a staff meeting

662
00:46:46,115 --> 00:46:50,035
Speaker 1: several years before for his temperate habits. One of our

663
00:46:50,075 --> 00:46:53,875
Speaker 1: most efficient workers. Neither drinks nor smokes, He had said,

664
00:46:54,035 --> 00:46:58,675
Speaker 1: the results speak for themselves. Mister Fitwiler had sat by,

665
00:46:58,995 --> 00:47:03,435
Speaker 1: nodding approval. Mister Martin was still thinking about that red

666
00:47:03,515 --> 00:47:06,035
Speaker 1: letter day as he walked over to the Shafts restaurant

667
00:47:06,075 --> 00:47:09,035
Speaker 1: on Fifth Avenue near forty sixth Street. He got there

668
00:47:09,035 --> 00:47:11,715
Speaker 1: as he always did, at eight o'clock. He finished his

669
00:47:11,755 --> 00:47:13,995
Speaker 1: dinner and the financial page of the New York Sun

670
00:47:14,195 --> 00:47:17,035
Speaker 1: quartered at a nine. As he always did, it was

671
00:47:17,075 --> 00:47:19,675
Speaker 1: his custom after dinner to take a walk. This time

672
00:47:19,715 --> 00:47:23,115
Speaker 1: he walked down Fifth Avenue at a casual place. His

673
00:47:23,235 --> 00:47:28,395
Speaker 1: gloved hands felt moist and warm, his forehead cold. He

674
00:47:28,555 --> 00:47:31,795
Speaker 1: transferred the camels from his overcoat to a jacket pocket.

675
00:47:31,995 --> 00:47:33,875
Speaker 1: He wondered as he did so, if they did not

676
00:47:33,995 --> 00:47:40,675
Speaker 1: represent an unnecessary note of strain. Missus Sparrows smoked only luckies.

677
00:47:41,555 --> 00:47:43,795
Speaker 1: It was his idea to puff a few puffs on

678
00:47:44,115 --> 00:47:48,315
Speaker 1: a camel after the rubbing out, stub it out in

679
00:47:48,395 --> 00:47:52,275
Speaker 1: the ashtray, holding her lipstick, saying luckies, and thus drag

680
00:47:52,355 --> 00:47:56,355
Speaker 1: a small red harring across the trail. Perhaps it was

681
00:47:56,435 --> 00:48:00,115
Speaker 1: not a good idea. It would take time. He might

682
00:48:00,155 --> 00:48:05,955
Speaker 1: even choke too loudly. J Martin had never seen the

683
00:48:05,955 --> 00:48:08,555
Speaker 1: house on West twelfth Street where Missus Barrows lived, but

684
00:48:08,595 --> 00:48:11,035
Speaker 1: he had a clear enough picture of it. Fortunately, she

685
00:48:11,115 --> 00:48:16,035
Speaker 1: had bragged to everybody about her ducky first floor apartment

686
00:48:16,075 --> 00:48:20,675
Speaker 1: in the perfectly darling three story red brick. There would

687
00:48:20,715 --> 00:48:23,675
Speaker 1: be no doorman or other attendants, just the tenants of

688
00:48:23,715 --> 00:48:26,475
Speaker 1: the second and third floors. As he walked along, mister

689
00:48:26,515 --> 00:48:30,075
Speaker 1: Martin realized that he would get there before nine thirty.

690
00:48:31,035 --> 00:48:34,435
Speaker 1: He had considered walking north on Fifth Avenue from Shrafts

691
00:48:34,475 --> 00:48:36,515
Speaker 1: to a point from which it would take him until

692
00:48:36,555 --> 00:48:39,275
Speaker 1: ten o'clock to reach the house. At that hour people

693
00:48:39,315 --> 00:48:41,475
Speaker 1: were less likely to be coming in or going out,

694
00:48:41,915 --> 00:48:44,475
Speaker 1: But the procedure would have made an awkward loop in

695
00:48:44,555 --> 00:48:49,355
Speaker 1: the straight thread of his casualness, and he had abandoned it.

696
00:48:49,355 --> 00:48:51,795
Speaker 1: It was impossible to figure when people would be entering

697
00:48:51,875 --> 00:48:54,275
Speaker 1: or leaving the house anyway, there was a great risk

698
00:48:54,355 --> 00:48:57,635
Speaker 1: at any hour if he ran into anybody, he would

699
00:48:57,635 --> 00:48:59,755
Speaker 1: simply have to place the rubbing out of old Jene

700
00:48:59,795 --> 00:49:05,595
Speaker 1: Barrows in the inactive file forever. The same thing would

701
00:49:05,595 --> 00:49:08,155
Speaker 1: hold true if there was someone in her apartment. In

702
00:49:08,155 --> 00:49:09,675
Speaker 1: that case, he would just say that he had been

703
00:49:09,715 --> 00:49:15,235
Speaker 1: passing by, recognized her charming house, and thought to drop in.

704
00:49:17,195 --> 00:49:19,515
Speaker 1: It was eighteen minutes after nine when mister Martin turned

705
00:49:19,555 --> 00:49:22,395
Speaker 1: into twelfth Street. A man passed him, and a man

706
00:49:22,475 --> 00:49:26,155
Speaker 1: and a woman talking. There was no one within fifty paces.

707
00:49:26,155 --> 00:49:28,595
Speaker 1: When he came to the house halfway down the block.

708
00:49:29,435 --> 00:49:31,515
Speaker 1: He was up the steps and in the small vestibule,

709
00:49:31,555 --> 00:49:33,555
Speaker 1: and no time pressing the bell under the card that

710
00:49:33,595 --> 00:49:36,155
Speaker 1: said missus Old Jean Barrows. When the clicking in the

711
00:49:36,155 --> 00:49:38,435
Speaker 1: locks started, he jumped forward against the door. He got

712
00:49:38,435 --> 00:49:41,235
Speaker 1: inside fast, closing the door behind him. A bulb in

713
00:49:41,275 --> 00:49:43,395
Speaker 1: a lantern hung from the hall ceiling on a chain

714
00:49:43,555 --> 00:49:46,755
Speaker 1: seemed to give a monstrously bright light. There was nobody

715
00:49:46,755 --> 00:49:48,475
Speaker 1: on the stair which went up ahead of him along

716
00:49:48,515 --> 00:49:51,355
Speaker 1: the left wall. A door opened down the hall on

717
00:49:51,395 --> 00:49:55,115
Speaker 1: the wall on the right. He went toward it, swiftly

718
00:49:55,235 --> 00:50:00,755
Speaker 1: on tiptoe. Now, for God's sakes, look who's here? Bald

719
00:50:00,795 --> 00:50:04,075
Speaker 1: Missus Barrows, and her braying laugh rang out like the

720
00:50:04,115 --> 00:50:07,195
Speaker 1: report of a u sh shotgun. He rushed past her

721
00:50:07,235 --> 00:50:11,875
Speaker 1: like a football attacker bumping her. Hey quit shoving, she said,

722
00:50:11,875 --> 00:50:15,235
Speaker 1: closing the door behind them. They were in her living room,

723
00:50:15,355 --> 00:50:17,875
Speaker 1: which seemed to mister Martin to be lighted by a

724
00:50:18,075 --> 00:50:23,195
Speaker 1: hundred lamps. What's after you? She said, here's jumpy as

725
00:50:23,235 --> 00:50:27,515
Speaker 1: a goat. He found he was unable to speak. His

726
00:50:27,715 --> 00:50:33,115
Speaker 1: heart was wheezing in his throat. I yes, he finally

727
00:50:33,115 --> 00:50:36,675
Speaker 1: brought out. She was jabbering and laughing as she started

728
00:50:36,675 --> 00:50:39,635
Speaker 1: to help him off with his coat. No, no, he said,

729
00:50:40,275 --> 00:50:43,595
Speaker 1: I'll put it here. He took it off and put

730
00:50:43,635 --> 00:50:46,115
Speaker 1: it on a chair near the door. Your hat and

731
00:50:46,155 --> 00:50:50,275
Speaker 1: gloves too, She said, you're in a lady's house. He

732
00:50:50,355 --> 00:50:53,115
Speaker 1: put his hat on top of the coat. Missus Barrows

733
00:50:53,155 --> 00:50:57,355
Speaker 1: seemed larger than he had thought. He kept his gloves on.

734
00:50:58,795 --> 00:51:04,595
Speaker 1: I was passing by, he said, I recognized. Is there

735
00:51:04,595 --> 00:51:10,235
Speaker 1: anyone here? She laughed louder than ever. No, she said,

736
00:51:10,755 --> 00:51:13,715
Speaker 1: we're all alone. You're white as a sheet, you funny man.

737
00:51:13,755 --> 00:51:16,515
Speaker 1: Whatever has come over you, I'll mix you a toddy.

738
00:51:17,315 --> 00:51:20,235
Speaker 1: She started toward a door across the room. Scotch and

739
00:51:20,315 --> 00:51:22,635
Speaker 1: so to be all right, But say you don't drink,

740
00:51:22,715 --> 00:51:27,195
Speaker 1: do you? She turned and gave him her amused look.

741
00:51:27,955 --> 00:51:31,635
Speaker 1: Mister Martin pulled himself together. Scotch and soda will be

742
00:51:31,675 --> 00:51:34,675
Speaker 1: all right, he heard himself say. He could hear her

743
00:51:34,795 --> 00:51:38,635
Speaker 1: laughing in the kitchen. Mister Martin looked quickly around the

744
00:51:38,635 --> 00:51:41,835
Speaker 1: living room for the weapon he had counted on finding one.

745
00:51:41,875 --> 00:51:45,355
Speaker 1: There there were and irons, and a poker, and something

746
00:51:45,355 --> 00:51:47,915
Speaker 1: in a corner that looked like an Indian club. None

747
00:51:47,955 --> 00:51:51,395
Speaker 1: of them would do it, couldn't be that way. He

748
00:51:51,435 --> 00:51:53,875
Speaker 1: began to pace around. He came to a desk. On

749
00:51:53,995 --> 00:51:56,675
Speaker 1: it lay a metal paper knife with an ornate handle.

750
00:51:56,915 --> 00:51:59,555
Speaker 1: Would it be sharp enough? He reached for it and

751
00:51:59,635 --> 00:52:03,275
Speaker 1: knocked over a small brass jar. Stamps spilled out of

752
00:52:03,315 --> 00:52:06,715
Speaker 1: it and fell onto the floor with a hey. Missus

753
00:52:06,715 --> 00:52:09,435
Speaker 1: Barrows yelled from the kitchen. Are you tearing up the

754
00:52:09,475 --> 00:52:15,395
Speaker 1: pea patch? Mister Martin gave a strange laugh. Picking up

755
00:52:15,395 --> 00:52:17,835
Speaker 1: the knife, he tried its point against his left wrist.

756
00:52:17,875 --> 00:52:24,835
Speaker 1: It was blunt. It wouldn't do. When Missus Barrows reappeared

757
00:52:24,875 --> 00:52:28,435
Speaker 1: carrying two high balls, mister Martin, standing there with his

758
00:52:28,515 --> 00:52:32,195
Speaker 1: gloves on, became acutely conscious of the fantasy. He had

759
00:52:32,235 --> 00:52:37,075
Speaker 1: wrought cigarettes in his pocket, a drink prepared for him.

760
00:52:37,235 --> 00:52:41,875
Speaker 1: It was all too grossly improbable. It was more than that,

761
00:52:42,035 --> 00:52:48,115
Speaker 1: it was impossible. Somewhere in the back of his mind,

762
00:52:49,035 --> 00:52:55,795
Speaker 1: a vague idea stirred sprouted. For heaven's sake, take off

763
00:52:55,835 --> 00:53:00,475
Speaker 1: those gloves, said missus Barrows. I always wear them in

764
00:53:00,475 --> 00:53:06,435
Speaker 1: the house, said mister Martin. The idea began to bloom,

765
00:53:06,995 --> 00:53:11,195
Speaker 1: strange and wonderful. She put the glasses on a coffee

766
00:53:11,235 --> 00:53:13,435
Speaker 1: table in front of a sofa and sat on the sofa.

767
00:53:13,555 --> 00:53:17,635
Speaker 1: Come over here, you odd little man, she said. Mister

768
00:53:17,675 --> 00:53:20,515
Speaker 1: Martin went over and sat beside her. It was difficult

769
00:53:20,515 --> 00:53:22,435
Speaker 1: getting a cigarette out of the pack of camels, but

770
00:53:22,475 --> 00:53:25,475
Speaker 1: he managed it. She held a match for him, Laughing well,

771
00:53:26,155 --> 00:53:29,755
Speaker 1: she said, handing him his drink. This is perfectly marvelous,

772
00:53:30,275 --> 00:53:36,355
Speaker 1: you with a drink and a cigarette. Mister Martin puffed,

773
00:53:37,075 --> 00:53:40,955
Speaker 1: not too awkwardly, and took a gulp of the highball.

774
00:53:41,795 --> 00:53:44,915
Speaker 1: I drink and smoke all the time, he said. He

775
00:53:44,955 --> 00:53:48,955
Speaker 1: clinked his glass against hers. Here's nuts to that old

776
00:53:49,035 --> 00:53:52,755
Speaker 1: wind bag fit whiler, he said, and gulped again. The

777
00:53:52,795 --> 00:53:57,315
Speaker 1: stuff tasted awful, but he made no grimace. Really, mister Martin,

778
00:53:57,555 --> 00:54:00,755
Speaker 1: she said, her voice and posture changing. You are insulting

779
00:54:00,835 --> 00:54:07,115
Speaker 1: our employer. Missus Barrows was now all Special advisor to

780
00:54:07,155 --> 00:54:11,475
Speaker 1: the President. I am preparing a bomb, said mister Martin,

781
00:54:12,155 --> 00:54:16,635
Speaker 1: which will blow the old goat higher than hell. He

782
00:54:16,715 --> 00:54:18,555
Speaker 1: had only had a little of the drink, which was

783
00:54:18,555 --> 00:54:22,315
Speaker 1: not strong. It couldn't be that. Do you take dope

784
00:54:22,395 --> 00:54:28,435
Speaker 1: or something, Missus Barrows asked coldly. Heroine said, mister Martin.

785
00:54:28,915 --> 00:54:31,635
Speaker 1: I'll be coked to the gills when I bumped that

786
00:54:31,715 --> 00:54:36,315
Speaker 1: old buzzard off. Mister Martin, She shouted, getting to her feet,

787
00:54:36,475 --> 00:54:38,635
Speaker 1: that will be all of that. You must go at once.

788
00:54:40,035 --> 00:54:43,035
Speaker 1: Mister Martin took another swallow of the drink. He tapped

789
00:54:43,035 --> 00:54:45,275
Speaker 1: his cigarette out in the ash tray and put the

790
00:54:45,315 --> 00:54:47,555
Speaker 1: pack of camels on the coffee table. Then he got up.

791
00:54:48,555 --> 00:54:51,435
Speaker 1: She stood glaring at him. He walked over and put

792
00:54:51,475 --> 00:54:55,075
Speaker 1: on his hat and coat. Not a word about this,

793
00:54:55,755 --> 00:54:58,635
Speaker 1: he said, and laid an index finger against his lips.

794
00:54:59,235 --> 00:55:03,635
Speaker 1: All Missus Barrows could bring out was a really Mister

795
00:55:03,675 --> 00:55:07,555
Speaker 1: Martin put his hand on the doorknob. I'm sitting in

796
00:55:07,595 --> 00:55:12,755
Speaker 1: the catbird's seat, he said. He stuck his tongue out

797
00:55:12,795 --> 00:55:20,395
Speaker 1: at her and left. Nobody saw him go. Mister Martin

798
00:55:20,435 --> 00:55:23,835
Speaker 1: got to his apartment walking well before eleven. No one

799
00:55:23,875 --> 00:55:26,395
Speaker 1: saw him go in. He had two glasses of milk

800
00:55:26,435 --> 00:55:30,115
Speaker 1: after brushing his teeth, and he felt elated. It wasn't

801
00:55:30,155 --> 00:55:33,195
Speaker 1: tipsy in is, because he hadn't been tipsy anyway. The

802
00:55:33,235 --> 00:55:36,355
Speaker 1: walk had worn off all effects of the whiskey. He

803
00:55:36,395 --> 00:55:38,435
Speaker 1: got in bed and read a magazine for a while.

804
00:55:38,755 --> 00:55:43,435
Speaker 1: He was asleep before midnight. Mister Martin got to the

805
00:55:43,435 --> 00:55:46,195
Speaker 1: office at eight thirty the next morning as usual. At

806
00:55:46,195 --> 00:55:48,675
Speaker 1: a quarter to nine, old Jean Barrows, who had never

807
00:55:48,755 --> 00:55:51,955
Speaker 1: before arrived at work before ten, swept into his office.

808
00:55:52,075 --> 00:55:55,715
Speaker 1: I'm reparting to mister fitweler now, she shouted. If he

809
00:55:55,795 --> 00:55:58,075
Speaker 1: turns you over to the police, it's no more than

810
00:55:58,115 --> 00:56:02,435
Speaker 1: you deserve. Mister Martin gave her a look of shocked surprise.

811
00:56:03,475 --> 00:56:07,795
Speaker 1: I beg your pardon, he said, missus Barrow snorted and

812
00:56:07,835 --> 00:56:10,035
Speaker 1: bounced out of the room, leaving Miss Paird and Joey

813
00:56:10,035 --> 00:56:14,555
Speaker 1: Hart staring after her. What's the matter with that old devil, now,

814
00:56:14,955 --> 00:56:18,915
Speaker 1: asked Miss Paired. I have no idea, said mister Martin,

815
00:56:18,955 --> 00:56:21,755
Speaker 1: resuming his work. The other two looked at him, and

816
00:56:21,795 --> 00:56:24,675
Speaker 1: then at each other. Miss Paired got up and went out.

817
00:56:24,835 --> 00:56:28,715
Speaker 1: She walked slowly past the closed door of mister Fitweiler's office.

818
00:56:29,355 --> 00:56:32,715
Speaker 1: Missus Barrows was yelling inside, but she was not braying.

819
00:56:33,155 --> 00:56:35,275
Speaker 1: Miss paired could not hear what the woman was saying.

820
00:56:35,635 --> 00:56:40,555
Speaker 1: She went back to her desk. Forty five minutes later,

821
00:56:40,595 --> 00:56:43,475
Speaker 1: Missus Barrows left the President's office and went into her own,

822
00:56:43,555 --> 00:56:46,635
Speaker 1: shutting the door. It wasn't until half an hour later

823
00:56:46,675 --> 00:56:49,235
Speaker 1: that mister Fitweiler sent for mister Martin, the head of

824
00:56:49,275 --> 00:56:52,715
Speaker 1: the filing department. Neat quiet, attentive, stood in front of

825
00:56:52,715 --> 00:56:57,315
Speaker 1: the old man's desk. Mister Fitweiler was pale and nervous.

826
00:56:58,355 --> 00:57:00,635
Speaker 1: He took his glasses off and twiddled them. He made

827
00:57:00,635 --> 00:57:06,115
Speaker 1: a small ruffing sound in his throat. Martin, He said,

828
00:57:06,915 --> 00:57:11,155
Speaker 1: you have been with us more than twenty years. Twenty two, sir,

829
00:57:11,275 --> 00:57:16,155
Speaker 1: said mister Martin, in that time pursued the President. Your

830
00:57:16,235 --> 00:57:22,075
Speaker 1: work and your manner have been exemplary. I trust so, sir,

831
00:57:22,315 --> 00:57:26,555
Speaker 1: said mister Martin. I have understood, Martin, said mister Fitwaller,

832
00:57:26,835 --> 00:57:30,035
Speaker 1: that you have never taken a drink or smoked. That

833
00:57:30,155 --> 00:57:36,155
Speaker 1: is correct, sir, said mister Martin. Ah, yes, mister Fitwiler

834
00:57:36,235 --> 00:57:40,595
Speaker 1: polished his glasses. You may describe what you did after

835
00:57:40,675 --> 00:57:45,755
Speaker 1: leaving the office yesterday, Martin, he said, certainly, sir, he said,

836
00:57:46,155 --> 00:57:49,635
Speaker 1: I walked home. Then I went to Shafts for dinner. Afterward,

837
00:57:49,835 --> 00:57:51,995
Speaker 1: I walked home again. I went to bed early, sir,

838
00:57:52,035 --> 00:57:54,035
Speaker 1: and read a magazine for a while. I was asleep

839
00:57:54,035 --> 00:58:01,595
Speaker 1: before eleven. Ah. Yes, said mister Fitwiler. Again. He was

840
00:58:01,635 --> 00:58:04,195
Speaker 1: silent for a moment, searching for the proper words to

841
00:58:04,235 --> 00:58:08,515
Speaker 1: say to the head of the filing department, Missus Barrows.

842
00:58:09,315 --> 00:58:14,755
Speaker 1: He said, finally, Missus Barrows has worked hard, Martin, very hard.

843
00:58:15,595 --> 00:58:17,715
Speaker 1: It brings me to report that she has suffered a

844
00:58:17,715 --> 00:58:21,475
Speaker 1: severe breakdown. It has taken the form of a persecution

845
00:58:21,675 --> 00:58:28,995
Speaker 1: complex accompanied by distressing hallucinations. I'm very sorry, sir, said

846
00:58:29,035 --> 00:58:34,755
Speaker 1: mister Martin. Missus Barrows is under the delusion, continued mister Fitwiler,

847
00:58:35,035 --> 00:58:39,435
Speaker 1: that you visited her last evening and behaved yourself in

848
00:58:39,435 --> 00:58:44,635
Speaker 1: an unseemly manner. He raised his hand to silence mister

849
00:58:44,635 --> 00:58:47,915
Speaker 1: Martin's little, pained outcry. It is the nature of these

850
00:58:48,195 --> 00:58:53,075
Speaker 1: psychological diseases, mister Fitwiler said, to fix upon the least

851
00:58:53,275 --> 00:58:57,595
Speaker 1: likely and most innocent party as the source of persecution.

852
00:58:58,595 --> 00:59:01,915
Speaker 1: These matters are not for the lay mind to grasp. Martin.

853
00:59:02,435 --> 00:59:05,475
Speaker 1: I've just had my psychiatrist, doctor Fitch, on the phone.

854
00:59:05,875 --> 00:59:08,835
Speaker 1: He would not, of course commit himself, but he made

855
00:59:08,915 --> 00:59:14,915
Speaker 1: enough generalizations to substantiate my suspicions. I suggested to missus Barrows,

856
00:59:15,515 --> 00:59:20,515
Speaker 1: when she had completed her story to me this morning,

857
00:59:20,635 --> 00:59:25,155
Speaker 1: that she visited doctor Fitch for I suspected a condition.

858
00:59:25,235 --> 00:59:27,955
Speaker 1: At what sentence she flew, I regret to say, into

859
00:59:27,995 --> 00:59:33,155
Speaker 1: a rage and demanded requested that I call you on

860
00:59:33,235 --> 00:59:37,235
Speaker 1: the carpet. You may not know, Martin, but Missus Barrows

861
00:59:37,235 --> 00:59:41,715
Speaker 1: had planned a reorganization of your department, subject to my approval.

862
00:59:41,755 --> 00:59:45,195
Speaker 1: Of course, subject to my approval. This brought you, rather

863
00:59:45,275 --> 00:59:48,555
Speaker 1: than anyone else to her mind. But again, that is

864
00:59:48,595 --> 00:59:52,755
Speaker 1: a phenomenon for doctor Fitch and not for us. So Martin,

865
00:59:53,075 --> 00:59:58,355
Speaker 1: I'm afraid Missus Barrow's usefulness here is at an end.

866
00:59:59,595 --> 01:00:04,355
Speaker 1: I'm dreadfully sorry, sir, said mister Martin. It was at

867
01:00:04,355 --> 01:00:07,875
Speaker 1: this point that the door to the office blew open

868
01:00:07,915 --> 01:00:11,275
Speaker 1: with the suddenness of a gas main explosion, and Missus

869
01:00:11,315 --> 01:00:14,835
Speaker 1: Barrows catapulted through. It is the little rad denying it.

870
01:00:15,195 --> 01:00:19,155
Speaker 1: She screamed, he can't get away with that. Mister Martin

871
01:00:19,195 --> 01:00:21,995
Speaker 1: got up and moved discreetly to a point beside mister

872
01:00:22,035 --> 01:00:26,355
Speaker 1: Fitwailer's chair. You drank and smoked at my apartment, she

873
01:00:26,475 --> 01:00:28,755
Speaker 1: bawled at mister Martin, and you know it. You called

874
01:00:28,795 --> 01:00:31,515
Speaker 1: mister Fitweiler an old wind bag and said you were

875
01:00:31,515 --> 01:00:33,595
Speaker 1: gonna blow him up when you got coked to your

876
01:00:33,675 --> 01:00:38,715
Speaker 1: gills on your heroine. She stopped yelling to catch her breath,

877
01:00:38,755 --> 01:00:41,955
Speaker 1: and a new glint came into her popping eyes. If

878
01:00:41,995 --> 01:00:45,635
Speaker 1: you weren't set to drab, ordinary little man, she said,

879
01:00:46,235 --> 01:00:50,435
Speaker 1: I'd think you'd planned it all, sticking your tongue out,

880
01:00:50,715 --> 01:00:53,435
Speaker 1: saying you were sitting in the cat buried seat because

881
01:00:53,755 --> 01:00:56,435
Speaker 1: you thought no one would believe me when I told it.

882
01:00:57,315 --> 01:01:03,315
Speaker 1: My god, it's really too perfect. She brayed loudly and hysterically,

883
01:01:03,515 --> 01:01:06,555
Speaker 1: and the fury was on again. She glared at mister Fitweiler.

884
01:01:07,075 --> 01:01:10,395
Speaker 1: Can't you see how he has checked us, you old fool.

885
01:01:11,155 --> 01:01:15,475
Speaker 1: Can't you see his little game? But mister Fitwiler had

886
01:01:15,475 --> 01:01:18,555
Speaker 1: been surreptitiously pressing all the buttons under the top of

887
01:01:18,635 --> 01:01:21,715
Speaker 1: his desk, and employees of F and S began pouring

888
01:01:21,755 --> 01:01:26,275
Speaker 1: into the room. Stockton said, Missus Fitchwiler, you and Fishbine

889
01:01:26,275 --> 01:01:29,235
Speaker 1: will take missus Barrows to her home. Missus Powell, you

890
01:01:29,275 --> 01:01:31,995
Speaker 1: will go with them. Stockton, who had played a little

891
01:01:31,995 --> 01:01:35,195
Speaker 1: football in high school, blocked Missus Barrows as she made

892
01:01:35,235 --> 01:01:38,075
Speaker 1: for mister Martin. It took him and fish Mine together

893
01:01:38,595 --> 01:01:40,835
Speaker 1: to force her out of the door. Into the hall,

894
01:01:41,195 --> 01:01:45,195
Speaker 1: crowded with stenographers and office boys. She was still screaming

895
01:01:45,275 --> 01:01:50,235
Speaker 1: imprecations at mister Martin, tangled and contradictory imprecations. The hubbub

896
01:01:50,995 --> 01:01:55,835
Speaker 1: finally died out down the corridor. I regret that this

897
01:01:55,915 --> 01:02:00,435
Speaker 1: has happened, said mister Fitwiler. I shall ask you to

898
01:02:00,675 --> 01:02:05,115
Speaker 1: dismiss it from your mind. Martin, Yes, sir, said miss Martin,

899
01:02:05,195 --> 01:02:09,715
Speaker 1: anticipating his chiefs that will be all. By moving to

900
01:02:09,755 --> 01:02:15,435
Speaker 1: the door, I will dismiss it. He went out and

901
01:02:15,475 --> 01:02:19,155
Speaker 1: shut the door, and his step was light and quick

902
01:02:19,355 --> 01:02:22,355
Speaker 1: in the hall. When he entered his department, he had

903
01:02:22,395 --> 01:02:25,755
Speaker 1: slowed down to his customary gate, and he walked quietly

904
01:02:26,475 --> 01:02:31,835
Speaker 1: across the room to the double twenty file, wearing a

905
01:02:31,875 --> 01:02:39,275
Speaker 1: look of studious concentration. From the Thurber cannival the Catbird

906
01:02:39,355 --> 01:02:55,595
Speaker 1: Seat by James Thurber. I've done all the damage I

907
01:02:55,635 --> 01:02:57,835
Speaker 1: can do here. Thank you for listening. Countdown has come

908
01:02:57,835 --> 01:03:00,475
Speaker 1: to you from the Vin Scully Studio at the Elberman

909
01:03:00,555 --> 01:03:04,635
Speaker 1: Broadcasting Empire in New York. The music you heard was

910
01:03:04,715 --> 01:03:07,355
Speaker 1: for the most part, arranged, produced, and performed by the

911
01:03:07,395 --> 01:03:11,195
Speaker 1: Countdown musical directors John Phillip Scheneale and Brian Ray. Brian

912
01:03:11,315 --> 01:03:14,795
Speaker 1: Ray handled guitars, bass, and drums. John Phillip Schanel did

913
01:03:14,795 --> 01:03:17,875
Speaker 1: the orchestration and keyboards. It was produced by Tko Brothers.

914
01:03:18,275 --> 01:03:22,915
Speaker 1: Other music, including other Beethoven songs the hits of seventeen

915
01:03:23,035 --> 01:03:26,875
Speaker 1: seventy six, were arranged and performed by No Horns Allowed.

916
01:03:27,515 --> 01:03:30,395
Speaker 1: The sports music is courtesy ESPN, Inc. And was written

917
01:03:30,395 --> 01:03:32,675
Speaker 1: by Mitch Warren Davis. We call it the Olderman theme

918
01:03:32,715 --> 01:03:37,035
Speaker 1: from ESPN two. Our satirical and pithy musical comments are

919
01:03:37,075 --> 01:03:40,035
Speaker 1: by Nancy Fauss, the best baseball stadium morganist ever. Our

920
01:03:40,075 --> 01:03:43,755
Speaker 1: announcer today was my friend Dennis Leary. Everything else was

921
01:03:43,835 --> 01:03:46,555
Speaker 1: pretty much my fault. So that's Countdown for this the

922
01:03:46,595 --> 01:03:50,195
Speaker 1: one thousand and fourth day since Donald Trump's first attempted

923
01:03:50,235 --> 01:03:53,115
Speaker 1: coup against the democratically elected government of the United States

924
01:03:53,395 --> 01:03:57,155
Speaker 1: convict him now while we still can. The next scheduled

925
01:03:57,155 --> 01:04:00,395
Speaker 1: countdown is Tuesday Bolton's as the news warrants till then,

926
01:04:00,435 --> 01:04:04,715
Speaker 1: I'm Keith Olderman. Good morning, good afternoon, good night, and

927
01:04:04,875 --> 01:04:22,595
Speaker 1: good luck. Countdown with Keith Oldman is a production of iHeartRadio.

928
01:04:22,875 --> 01:04:28,195
Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

929
01:04:28,315 --> 01:04:30,235
Speaker 1: or wherever you get your podcasts.