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Speaker 1: You need to fight. This is what you want, you

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Speaker 1: fight for it. You know what I'm saying, And I

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Speaker 1: think that that's what gave me sho. I'll fight for

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Speaker 1: every role. I fight for every blessing. I fight, and

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Speaker 1: I'm willing to do the work. And I fight because

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Speaker 1: I haven't really had many people here to fight for me.

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Speaker 2: Andrew Martinez in Real Life podcast. This episode and conversation

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Speaker 2: is powered by ID Say can any.

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Speaker 1: Place do alsa have a NERD?

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Speaker 3: Can? I start with a toast to.

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Speaker 1: The Nerd to the.

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Speaker 2: Future Academy Award winning Teanna Taylor. Oh my god, I

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Speaker 2: went to the screaming last night.

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Speaker 4: What does everybody tell you after they saw the movie?

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Speaker 1: Oh my god? They're like literally crying like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: I got me and you did your ship.

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Speaker 2: I didn't feel like that, you know why.

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Speaker 4: You know why what you about to say?

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Speaker 2: No, I didn't feel like that because I expected that

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Speaker 2: from it. I love that, you know what I'm saying, Like,

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Speaker 2: I feel like and that's not to be taken for granted,

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Speaker 2: because sometimes you expect something from somebody and that don't deliver.

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Speaker 4: Right right right.

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Speaker 2: But first of all, Hi, and welcome to the page.

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Speaker 2: The podcast we're.

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Speaker 1: Gonna have a little nerd. You're like, n I love,

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Speaker 1: we're going a little nerd in the toast. I also

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Speaker 1: think because you know my story and what I've been.

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Speaker 2: Through, and I know how dope you are, so it's

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Speaker 2: not surprising to me that you're this dope in the movie.

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Speaker 4: Right, But I don't even think necessarily.

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Speaker 1: I think that's a lot of people's tears, but also

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Speaker 1: just like the storyline and like what's happening.

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Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, like people that has been in my life

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Speaker 1: and know me knows. It's just more of a thing like.

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Speaker 4: Why don't I have these more often?

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Speaker 1: No, I was thinking about you on the way here.

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Speaker 4: Because you move over a little bit.

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Speaker 1: Camera angles, right.

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Speaker 4: You're such a director and.

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Speaker 1: You're such a want to make sure we got the shot.

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Speaker 1: This was amazing to have baby, see Kim, it's good

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Speaker 1: and this is my baby. Yeah no, but that's good people,

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Speaker 1: that's where they missed this where they missed it, and

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Speaker 1: you're trying to make it happen one camera and maybe

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Speaker 1: even to not even enough we got three. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Well, when I got this little b roll, we turn

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Speaker 2: it into a little production house.

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Speaker 1: It started as a podcast and I'm here for it,

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Speaker 1: and I'm here for it. Yeah, thanks, I really wanted

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Speaker 1: you know.

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Speaker 2: We're learning a lot because I just brought in a

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Speaker 2: crew the first episode and we had a lot of

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Speaker 2: problems and you know, you've done this, you know, and

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Speaker 2: you gotta learn as you go, and but it's been

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Speaker 2: going good.

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Speaker 1: I'm happy with it so far. I'm happy to have

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Speaker 1: you here. Thank you.

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Speaker 4: Yo.

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Speaker 2: So to go back to my point about not being

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Speaker 2: surprised that you killed this movie, I remember when I

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Speaker 2: saw you. You were I want to say one was

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Speaker 2: Google me out fifteen or fifteen sixteen six? Yeah, I

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Speaker 2: have known you, but I didn't really I saw you

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Speaker 2: in the street one time.

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Speaker 4: I told you that story. I had a club and

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Speaker 4: I was like, who is.

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Speaker 1: This bad ass kids?

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Speaker 2: And then and I didn't realize it was the same person.

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Speaker 2: But somebody was really pressing me like you were like

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Speaker 2: a big deal when you got signed, and it was like,

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Speaker 2: come to this, you gotta come to this thing, this showcase,

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Speaker 2: the showcase. Yes, and I went and I saw you

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Speaker 2: you were doing Google me Yeah, what was that was that?

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Speaker 1: Marquee? Yes?

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Speaker 2: I remember random facts. So I went into marketing and

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh, yeah, I know her, and then

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Speaker 2: you started performing. I remember just looking at you.

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Speaker 1: Like, oh no, she's like not a badass kids, shit,

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Speaker 1: she's actually so.

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Speaker 2: But like I was, I was trying to figure you out,

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Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying, because the song was cute

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Speaker 2: and catchy, but it was young and I couldn't really tell.

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Speaker 1: But at that showcase, I performed more records that I

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Speaker 1: have recorded that never she knew light to day.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but you you could tell, you know, you could

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Speaker 2: tell the difference between an artist artist and somebody was

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Speaker 2: up there acting like an artist.

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Speaker 4: You could tell a difference. And I was so excited

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Speaker 4: for you and to see what was happening.

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Speaker 2: And then so over the years we've I've watched you

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Speaker 2: and we've had interviews, and I've seen you be everywhere.

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Speaker 1: And everything like it.

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Speaker 4: I grew up right in from there. It's nuts, it's nuts.

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Speaker 2: But so when I see you in a moment like this,

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Speaker 2: it's not surprising to me, you know what I'm saying,

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Speaker 2: Like Corsey body back, Yeah, so it was. I was

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Speaker 2: happy to see that moment, Feeld because it feels like

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Speaker 2: a real moment, doesn't Like, Yeah.

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Speaker 1: It definitely feel like a real moment, Like it feel

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Speaker 1: like the moment. You know, I think all the tears,

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Speaker 1: all the prayers, you know, like all the the weight

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Speaker 1: that I thought was punishment was a big eye opener

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Speaker 1: that it wasn't what I mean, it was preparation, you know,

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Speaker 1: just all the years, I mean, you knew me and

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Speaker 1: knew what I did, a lot of people knew. We

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Speaker 1: knew what I did never really had a break in,

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Speaker 1: like relevancy throughout my whole career is because you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm a busy body, so I'm doing this, I'm doing that.

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Speaker 1: But it's like ethnically, I wasn't necessarily like getting the moment, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: getting my things, you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 4: And I think that.

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Speaker 3: That was.

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Speaker 1: Not getting my things is what made me stronger and

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Speaker 1: gave me more preparation to properly receive my things, you

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Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. And Yeah, I just don't think

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Speaker 1: that I would have even given Likenez all that I've

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Speaker 1: given her had not been through the different you know,

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Speaker 1: just the different ups and downs.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, but do you believe because I always believe this.

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Speaker 2: We talked about this a lot here too. It's like

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Speaker 2: when it's supposed to happen, happens. Yeah, and that's what

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Speaker 2: I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: So that time, all of those nos, or maybe just

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Speaker 1: if things wasn't happening in the timely fashion I wanted

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Speaker 1: to happen that I looked at it like, Okay, it's

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Speaker 1: not happening. It's every time it comes to me is

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Speaker 1: always something. That weight that I thought was punishment was

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Speaker 1: God saying no baby, That was just preparation for what

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Speaker 1: was already written for you in the palm of my hands.

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Speaker 2: I just I want to run through that little just

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Speaker 2: real quick because people who might not be familiar with

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Speaker 2: the history and the story. It's like, even from that

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Speaker 2: first time I saw you doing Google me right, young

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Speaker 2: girl wants to get on wants it has this talent.

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Speaker 2: Get signed to Pharrell, get signed to Kanye has a

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Speaker 2: big I mean, I just remember moments where you felt like,

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Speaker 2: as you from the inside must have felt like, this

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Speaker 2: is the moment.

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Speaker 4: Oh, this is the moment.

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Speaker 2: Oh this is the time, watching you do that little

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Speaker 2: Kim tribute, watching.

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Speaker 1: You like even that was the moment, you know, Like

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying, every but imagine that's what it felt like.

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Speaker 1: It felt like getting like it seemed like every time

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Speaker 1: you got to the door is slammed in your face.

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Speaker 1: That was the feeling that I was having.

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Speaker 4: You get what I'm saying, even all the way down

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Speaker 4: to Faith to do Fade and like.

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Speaker 1: This is it.

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Speaker 3: Faith was fire. Another moment, like right.

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Speaker 1: After Fade album should have dropped. You get what I'm saying,

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Speaker 1: Like it was just it was always something. So I

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Speaker 1: was like, what were these moments and who were these

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Speaker 1: moments really for? You know, clearly these moments.

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Speaker 4: Bigger than me.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, because I just know when Faye came out,

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Speaker 1: it definitely probably should have been an album, a rollout.

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Speaker 1: It just should have been preparation for something. You get

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying. And like even when Fake came, I

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Speaker 1: I told you I didn't know that it was dropping.

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Speaker 1: I think it probably like the day of I still

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Speaker 1: didn't really all the way, No, I didn't know. I

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Speaker 1: wasn't even there. I watched myself on the VMA's have

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Speaker 1: one of the biggest moments of my career, sitting on

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Speaker 1: my couch in Atlanta watching the VMAs.

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Speaker 2: And what's happening inside is that anger, is that disappointment,

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Speaker 2: Is that.

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Speaker 4: You know it's crazy.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't even I don't even think that it was

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Speaker 1: anger that it may have hit a little because I

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Speaker 1: think I was also trying to still process everything. You

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Speaker 1: got to understand when that video came out, my life

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Speaker 1: literally changed overnight. But it wasn't something I hadn't seen before.

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Speaker 1: You know, I've had moments where you know, it'd be

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Speaker 1: a lot of static, a lot of traffic, but this

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Speaker 1: one was, of course, was the biggest one.

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Speaker 4: So my phone was ringing immediately. Is that what you credit?

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Speaker 4: That's what you like think as one of I think

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Speaker 4: it's one.

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Speaker 1: Of the biggest moments in my career. Absolutely, I definitely

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Speaker 1: it changed my world. It changed my life, like what

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Speaker 1: Faye did for me, I guess as an artist is

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Speaker 1: like what this movie is doing for me as an actress,

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Speaker 1: like Fay show, Like, oh you get what I'm saying,

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Speaker 1: Like it was the eye opener, Like it was an

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Speaker 1: eye opener. You know. I wasn't signed to a model

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Speaker 1: agency before a Fade. I wasn't.

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Speaker 4: I wasn't. I didn't have none of those kinds of things,

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Speaker 4: you know, so and I've always you know, done other stuff.

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Speaker 1: But like even as many endorsements as I have, or

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Speaker 1: the gym membership's going up, and you know, like just

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Speaker 1: moments like that, that was another eye opening moment for

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Speaker 1: the world.

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't if this happened to you because and you've

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Speaker 2: been in the game for a long time, but you're

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Speaker 2: still young, you're still at the beginning of a new

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Speaker 2: thing right now, and then this moment right here, But

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Speaker 2: do you feel like, because you know, we have these

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Speaker 2: dreams and we're young, and we're like, yo, when I

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Speaker 2: get that, or if you're like if you had a

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Speaker 2: certain weight and you're like, oh, when I get to

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Speaker 2: that weight, I'm gonna be happy, or when I get

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Speaker 2: this deal, I'm gonna be happy when I get when

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Speaker 2: I you know, and you've had so many.

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Speaker 4: Of those almost like false starts.

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Speaker 1: And this is what I'm saying, that's the part that's

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Speaker 1: like getting on a roller coaster and take you up

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Speaker 1: before that big drop and it gets stuck. You don't

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Speaker 1: take me down, give me off this motherfucker, take me

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Speaker 1: to my destination with it.

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Speaker 4: Hell, we gotta go, you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: That's how it felt like just even just we're gonna

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Speaker 1: love me, Look how big gonna love me could have

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Speaker 1: been Don't get me wrong, Like I'm almost double platinum,

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Speaker 1: but that was something that I did.

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Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying. So imagine like so.

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Speaker 1: When people's, oh my god, but it did this, it

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Speaker 1: did that, but it's like, imagine if it really had

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Speaker 1: that push. Yeah, you feel what I'm saying, Like I

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Speaker 1: dropped like great albums that just haven't had the push.

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Speaker 2: You know, two things I'm curious about about that is

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Speaker 2: number one, how do you not lose that shit, that fire,

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Speaker 2: that thing that still makes you want to fight for that? Like,

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Speaker 2: at any point do you feel just like fuck it?

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Speaker 2: Why did I keep doing this? It's clearly not meant

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Speaker 2: to be. Like do you ever get in your head

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Speaker 2: that way?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: I have those moments.

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Speaker 1: But the great thing about how I handle myself is

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Speaker 1: I have that moment and once I let it all out,

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Speaker 1: I didn't have my conversation with God and I'm like

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Speaker 1: just breathing to me, Lord, you know, I'm just just

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Speaker 1: wanting him to breathe into me, just my ministries. You

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Speaker 1: feel what I'm saying, And having that balance, And I

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Speaker 1: think that that's the amazing part about having a relationship

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Speaker 1: with God because I think people think it's just like Okay,

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Speaker 1: get on your knees, put your hands together, and say

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Speaker 1: a prayer, you know. And I think it's really about

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Speaker 1: just having real conversations with him, but also doing your studies.

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Speaker 1: You know, I stay in my Bible. I do have

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Speaker 1: a physical Bible. I have a Bible app that gives

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Speaker 1: you like a verse of the day versus the day.

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Speaker 1: Every day. It's prayers on air and it's like different

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Speaker 1: topics of anxiety, love, you know, pride, like literally any

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Speaker 1: any and every word you can think of, you click

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Speaker 1: on that word and it's a prayer for you know

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Yeah, So that just listening to gospel

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Speaker 1: music like but records that really you know, like Fred

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Speaker 1: Hammond like breathing too me, Lord, Like that's my that's

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Speaker 1: my ship. Sorry, Lord, I'm sorry, She's I know, yeah,

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Speaker 1: he knows my heart.

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Speaker 3: But that's what I mean.

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Speaker 1: Even about having real conversations with him, Like I done

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Speaker 1: got up in a conversation with him tight, you.

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Speaker 3: Know, like hit him with a yoll like yo, father,

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Speaker 3: like what you what's my Like.

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Speaker 1: Like do what you want me to do?

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Speaker 4: Like what's my You're calling? Like am I here? Like

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Speaker 4: what what do you see for me, you know what

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Speaker 4: I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: I think that that's what make it great because He

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Speaker 1: knows your heart and he knows that you are trying.

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Speaker 1: And it's easier to continue to build a relationship with

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Speaker 1: God when you keep it real. You know what I'm saying,

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Speaker 1: And you're not trying to You're not doing what you

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Speaker 1: see on tv O what the church is necessarily telling

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Speaker 1: you you have to do.

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Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: It's like if you could feel like if I could

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Speaker 1: feel like okay, cool, I can go on and do

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Speaker 1: an interview with Angie because it's a safe space. If

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Speaker 1: I feel like you a safe space, Imagine what I

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Speaker 1: feel with God. You feel what I'm saying, like the

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Speaker 1: most most vulnerable. You know what I'm saying, like and

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Speaker 1: just literally like Jesus died for our sins. You know

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying for us, because we're not perfect, you

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Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. So I have wraw, honest conversations

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Speaker 1: with God, and I think that that's what gets me through.

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Speaker 1: And I feel like I do get answers quicker rather

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Speaker 1: than trying to do it the way. Do you feel

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Speaker 1: like the answers come quick?

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, Like how quick, like tell me time when I'm not.

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Speaker 1: Trying to chop my head off.

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Speaker 3: You feel what I'm saying Like that right there?

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Speaker 1: Like how I can go from like letting out, like

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Speaker 1: letting everything out, or feeling like, you know what, I'm

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Speaker 1: done with all the shit?

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Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, let me just take a beat step back.

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Speaker 1: Oh God, what's up what we're doing? Cause it's I'm

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Speaker 1: going to a place I don't want to go. What

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Speaker 1: we're doing, and you see, it has to feel it,

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Speaker 1: you feel it because then there you go, I go

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Speaker 1: and open up my Bible, open up my app or

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Speaker 1: you know, throwing at Yolanda. You know, you just you

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Speaker 1: just it's little things you gotta do, like I said,

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Speaker 1: even all the way to sundance, like to be able

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Speaker 1: to even in the moment of joy, you know, soaking

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Speaker 1: everything in. It's the same process. If you can go

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Speaker 1: to him when you upset and you're sad, you can

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Speaker 1: come to him, you know, when he's answering your prayers.

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Speaker 1: So it's the same thing like a shower, listening to

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Speaker 1: my gospels and my ministries. You get what I'm saying,

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Speaker 1: Like I'm like in hair and makeup, like crying because

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Speaker 1: I'm like, yo, life is lifeing for the for the best,

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Speaker 1: like you know, like I'm thriving and I'm so grateful

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Speaker 1: and I'm so blessed. So like a lot of times

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Speaker 1: I'll be crying, were like yo, Like well, like thank you,

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Speaker 1: like you really fire, like you know what I'm saying,

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Speaker 1: Like like you feel him laughing, like you know what I'm.

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Speaker 2: Saying, Like you ask for you asked for it, you

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Speaker 2: know what I'm saying, Like you ever have you there's

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Speaker 2: ever been a time you doubted him?

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Speaker 4: No, even in never.

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Speaker 1: That's why I thought the waight was was punishment and

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Speaker 1: there would be a lot of questions.

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Speaker 4: I never.

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Speaker 1: I would never, I could never. You know, also have

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Speaker 1: like my whole family don't play that like we're all godfearing,

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Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. My grandparents is in the

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Speaker 1: ministry as well, So it was never a time too

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Speaker 1: because if I try and call my mom or call

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Speaker 1: my aunt venting, or call my nan in venting, like

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Speaker 1: call my granddad inventing.

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Speaker 2: All right, let's say a brown You know what I'm saying,

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Speaker 2: Like that's the answer to the.

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Speaker 1: It's crazy because it's almost like mine over matter. There's

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Speaker 1: been times where like I will physically be in pain

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Speaker 1: and called my Nana and like just the power of

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Speaker 1: prayer and be like feeling better. The pain might come

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Speaker 1: back a little later, but just in that moment, just

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Speaker 1: just the power in prayer and the power and knowing

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Speaker 1: that you know everything is going to be okay. You know,

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Speaker 1: that's so good.

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Speaker 2: Does this ever happen to you? Because I was doing

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Speaker 2: something recently. I had a partner and there was some

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Speaker 2: company that was like interested to do this project. And

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh, that's cool, let's seehere this plays out.

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Speaker 4: He was so excited.

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Speaker 1: No we got they want to fund this thing that

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Speaker 1: you want to do.

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Speaker 2: And I'm like, all right, cool, let's that's good. Let's

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Speaker 2: keep talking to them. He was like, why you don't

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Speaker 2: why you don't get excited. I was like, because I've

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Speaker 2: heard this a few times.

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Speaker 4: You sound like me.

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Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying. I'm wonderful for you that because

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Speaker 2: I'm not trying to be negative. I'm just being like,

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Speaker 2: all right, this is come on, God, but I don't

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Speaker 2: as good as younger me.

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Speaker 4: You're not easily impressed no more.

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Speaker 3: I said, that's the.

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Speaker 2: First thing I said, when we open this up, take

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Speaker 2: me to the finish line, and then I'm then I'm grateful,

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Speaker 2: but take me to the finish line.

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Speaker 1: But I wonder for you.

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Speaker 2: Then it's in that idea is like, when you're having

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Speaker 2: this beautiful moment and you have this beautiful performance and

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Speaker 2: people are talking about awards and how this is going

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Speaker 2: to change your career, are you almost afraid to fully

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Speaker 2: embrace that or are you all the way.

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Speaker 1: In on it. This was the first time in my

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Speaker 1: career that I was able to fully embrace what was happening.

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Speaker 1: I love that for you, and I've been in the

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Speaker 1: industry for fifteen years, you get what I'm saying. So

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Speaker 1: I got to that place where I just wasn't easily impressed.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't get excited because I wanted to go to

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Speaker 1: the finish line, you know, like cool, I understand this

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Speaker 1: is a high right now, and I'm up, but like,

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Speaker 1: let's see what this big drop is going to be

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Speaker 1: on this roller coaster, you know, like let's see where

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Speaker 1: this takes us, because it's just like I need to know. So, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I got to a point where I just wasn't excited.

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Speaker 1: But I think my Mom'd be like, well, why you're

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Speaker 1: not excited? Cool, I'm blessed, I'm thankful, I'm always I'm

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Speaker 1: always thinking, I'm always praising. But like, yeah, this reaction

380
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Speaker 1: y'all looking for, Yeah, it's probably not. Maybe it was

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Speaker 1: a defensive mechanism, was just being nervous and being afraid,

382
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Speaker 1: you know, yeah, just being just being afraid. But this

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Speaker 1: was the first time that I've been able to really like,

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Speaker 1: you know, take it in because it almost felt like

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Speaker 1: a clean slate, you know what I'm saying. So for me,

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Speaker 1: it's I'm able to embrace it because at this point

387
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Speaker 1: the movie could be a box office sellout or can

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Speaker 1: have you know, one person in the theater. But to

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Speaker 1: know that I possibly have given like an award winning

390
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Speaker 1: performance is enough for me, you know.

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Speaker 4: Open opened up a lot more.

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Speaker 1: Yes, it is for me. You know. I went from

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Speaker 1: a lot of nose and all I ever wanted people

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Speaker 1: to do is give me that one little yes that

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Speaker 1: would show the world what I got, and no one

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Speaker 1: would give it to me.

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Speaker 4: So you see you hit the byron. They didn't see

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Speaker 4: the byron.

399
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Speaker 1: But that it's all been funny stuff, a dramatic now

400
00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:07,760
Speaker 1: like it wasn't nothing that would make people be like, okay, cool,

401
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:11,040
Speaker 1: like I can trust her with this. You get what

402
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Speaker 1: I'm saying. If I did get a lot of movie roles,

403
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:14,399
Speaker 1: it was I had to be the hot girl. I

404
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:15,440
Speaker 1: had to be you know what I'm saying.

405
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Speaker 2: Yeah, funny, Yeah, yeah, it's just it was cool with

406
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Speaker 2: all your body those Yeah, of course.

407
00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:21,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm gonna do my job. All right, I'm gonna

408
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Speaker 1: do a job.

409
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Speaker 4: How much does it so?

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Speaker 1: Then where does it shift?

411
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Speaker 4: Like what you're chasing in your life?

412
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Speaker 2: Because I would imagine, like young you, you chasing like

413
00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:32,120
Speaker 2: it's not even fame, It's right, I would. I don't

414
00:18:32,119 --> 00:18:33,639
Speaker 2: want to speak for you, but what I get from

415
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:37,400
Speaker 2: you is like you're chasing this like level of success

416
00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:40,160
Speaker 2: in you're using your talents, right, like even in this moment,

417
00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:43,640
Speaker 2: what does this moment mean? And what do you hope

418
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Speaker 2: it means moving forward?

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Speaker 1: I mean the moment, I'm just basking in it, you know, like,

420
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Speaker 1: and honestly, I ain't gonna from like I'm so occupied

421
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Speaker 1: and just like.

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Speaker 4: Just being so oh thankful, you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: Like it's hard to describe because this is something I

424
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Speaker 1: prayed for him and waiting for and you know, me

425
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Speaker 1: being in the industry for as long as I've been

426
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:11,920
Speaker 1: in like and being signed to who I was signed to,

427
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,320
Speaker 1: I've been around the biggest of the biggest. You feel

428
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Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Like I had already worked with Beyonce

429
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Speaker 1: when I just just got signed for Rell and working

430
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Speaker 1: through working with Beyonce, like her even asking me like

431
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Speaker 1: what's your situation? You know I would never get that day.

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Speaker 1: What do you I had just signed, I had just

433
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Speaker 1: signed with Pharrell, and I had worked with her on

434
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Speaker 1: the Ringo Alarm video and I sung for her and

435
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Speaker 1: and her mom on the elevator cause you know, I

436
00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:40,119
Speaker 1: was just I was just getting put on. But I

437
00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:45,600
Speaker 1: had scared yes, and yeah, Beyonce loved that because like

438
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Speaker 1: you know, I was young, but I walked in like

439
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:48,480
Speaker 1: full of life.

440
00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:52,760
Speaker 3: I was like, hey, everybody, I'm like, oh, she loved it.

441
00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:54,800
Speaker 1: She loved it, you know. So it was just like,

442
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:57,680
Speaker 1: you know, after we got the work done and we

443
00:19:57,800 --> 00:19:59,840
Speaker 1: kind of like just had a moment to like wind,

444
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,840
Speaker 1: she was like, what's the situation, Like are you signed?

445
00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:05,360
Speaker 4: Like you know what I'm saying, I'm like, yeah.

446
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:07,280
Speaker 1: I'm signing for real. I just signed for real. She's like,

447
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:10,320
Speaker 1: is the ink dry? And I was like, yeah, you

448
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,240
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, But it's just like honestly, like,

449
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:15,520
Speaker 1: you know, she's been so supportive, like anytime I would

450
00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:18,320
Speaker 1: running too her, like she always knew everything that I

451
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,200
Speaker 1: had going on, you know what I'm saying. And I

452
00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:23,320
Speaker 1: feel like that's just like true woman empowerment because you know,

453
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:26,200
Speaker 1: that was one of the main things of what really

454
00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:27,840
Speaker 1: pushed me to my limit as far as like when

455
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:30,440
Speaker 1: I even went to retire, because I always felt like,

456
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:34,880
Speaker 1: you know, we screaming, yell and holler about women empowerment,

457
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:38,000
Speaker 1: but we're not really empowering one another behind closed doors.

458
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:40,680
Speaker 1: At this point, women empowerment is for an aesthetic, you

459
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:42,760
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. So to come into industry at

460
00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:47,680
Speaker 1: fifteen to a Beyonce and then also have you know,

461
00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:51,200
Speaker 1: all the women in my life be extremely affectionate. All

462
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:55,560
Speaker 1: I knew was that was love and affection. So I

463
00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:57,879
Speaker 1: had it from my family and then I had it

464
00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:01,359
Speaker 1: from Beyonce. Feel what I'm saying, no real shit, So

465
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:05,040
Speaker 1: even that I feel like Beyonce plays a big part

466
00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:09,639
Speaker 1: in like what shaped me into being as like graceful

467
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:12,880
Speaker 1: as I am within the industry, you feel what I'm saying,

468
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:16,600
Speaker 1: because it's just like she gave me genuine love, you

469
00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:18,359
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, and she didn't know I was

470
00:21:18,359 --> 00:21:20,240
Speaker 1: signing for real noneer that she was what's up, what're

471
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:24,240
Speaker 1: we doing? You know what I'm saying, Like she saw yeah, exactly.

472
00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:27,840
Speaker 1: So it's like going into the industry, you know, just

473
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:31,840
Speaker 1: doing for everybody, showing up for everybody, like styling for everybody,

474
00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:35,520
Speaker 1: choreographing for everybody, you know, designing for everybody, you know,

475
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:38,800
Speaker 1: writing for everybody after sup never even been credited for it.

476
00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:41,920
Speaker 1: I'm fine with that, but when I call on you

477
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:44,520
Speaker 1: for a little bit of help and it's not reciprocated,

478
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:47,720
Speaker 1: that's the part that hurts, you know what I'm saying.

479
00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:49,920
Speaker 1: And it's just like a lot of people that I

480
00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:51,680
Speaker 1: called for my albums, a lot of people that I

481
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:56,000
Speaker 1: called for different things was ghost you feel what I'm saying.

482
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:59,320
Speaker 1: So it was hard for me to process that because,

483
00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:03,280
Speaker 1: like I said, I'm coming from Beyonce, the biggest start

484
00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:07,160
Speaker 1: in the world, and show genuine love and genuine woman

485
00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:11,280
Speaker 1: empowerment everybody. I did. But that's like, you know, that's

486
00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:13,480
Speaker 1: like if your first boss is super nice. You're gonna

487
00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:16,760
Speaker 1: think like this, this is how it is. You feel

488
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:17,200
Speaker 1: what I'm saying.

489
00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:17,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's not.

490
00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:19,159
Speaker 1: And I had and I had to learn that and

491
00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:21,119
Speaker 1: and I'm okay with it. That's why you you'll ever

492
00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:24,080
Speaker 1: see me on Instagram Rand twitters. I keep to myself

493
00:22:24,119 --> 00:22:25,640
Speaker 1: and I stayed in my family, you know what I'm saying,

494
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:29,000
Speaker 1: Like I'm on my business. I love being unproblematic, like

495
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:31,840
Speaker 1: I stayed. I don't get in nobody's business. How has

496
00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:34,480
Speaker 1: been a how has family life? Wife? Mom?

497
00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:38,360
Speaker 2: How has it all changed in terms of I don't

498
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:41,840
Speaker 2: know what your drive was, what you were trying to accomplish.

499
00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:44,240
Speaker 4: I feel like it made me go harder.

500
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:46,600
Speaker 1: Really, I mean, you know, when you got kids in

501
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:49,280
Speaker 1: the family, you're not playing about that, because now you're

502
00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:52,840
Speaker 1: playing with my time. Time I don't have, I got

503
00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:55,359
Speaker 1: pta meetings and you know, like.

504
00:22:57,160 --> 00:23:00,359
Speaker 4: You know it's Junie. She's at that age where you

505
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:01,480
Speaker 4: know she wants.

506
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:06,479
Speaker 1: To go to ballet or you know, uh, just all

507
00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:08,240
Speaker 1: types of stuff. It's things that she want to do.

508
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:10,560
Speaker 1: It's time to be a mommy. So I want to

509
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:14,199
Speaker 1: make sure that my time is being well utilized. If

510
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:18,480
Speaker 1: I'm gonna step away from being mom that. I mean, really,

511
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:19,640
Speaker 1: is there a fire outside?

512
00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:25,080
Speaker 2: They're aggressive today with the horns. Sorry, baby, what's on

513
00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:26,479
Speaker 2: your mind? Feel like something's on your mine right now?

514
00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:29,520
Speaker 2: You're okay, yep, you just went somewhere.

515
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:31,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, no, no, I'm good.

516
00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:37,880
Speaker 1: You went somewhere on me just now, just thinking, That's

517
00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:39,639
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. I do we have like random moments

518
00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:44,040
Speaker 1: of the day where I really just I hate how

519
00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:46,720
Speaker 1: cliche it sound, would like I really just be thinking

520
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:51,280
Speaker 1: about everything, like I'm so thankful, you know what I'm saying. Like,

521
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:54,000
Speaker 1: I do be having them times where I'll just well

522
00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:57,119
Speaker 1: zone out and just really think about life and like

523
00:23:57,359 --> 00:23:59,880
Speaker 1: just where I am. You know, tell me that though,

524
00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:02,159
Speaker 1: like break that down, Like what is that? What does

525
00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:02,520
Speaker 1: that mean?

526
00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:03,919
Speaker 4: I've been dealing with.

527
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:06,280
Speaker 1: A lot of shit that I really cannot explain. It's

528
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:09,600
Speaker 1: a feeling more than it is something that is expressible,

529
00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:12,400
Speaker 1: you know, Like it's just yeah, I will have these

530
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:15,920
Speaker 1: random time I'll just stop and just like thank God,

531
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:17,480
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. So sometime when I just

532
00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:21,080
Speaker 1: be getting stuck, I'll be like, damn, really even just

533
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:23,920
Speaker 1: sitting here and just like talking about life. You know,

534
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:27,000
Speaker 1: when you're talking about life, you start to think back

535
00:24:27,119 --> 00:24:29,879
Speaker 1: the different times, and you know, to think about a

536
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:34,760
Speaker 1: lot of people that have been defeated by their demons,

537
00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:36,240
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, Because you got people that

538
00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:41,159
Speaker 1: are defeated, You got people that defeat, and I've been

539
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:45,320
Speaker 1: lucky enough to be able to defeat rather than be defeated,

540
00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:49,320
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. With all the distractions and

541
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:54,560
Speaker 1: all the things that the enemy try and throw your

542
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:57,440
Speaker 1: way during your faithful So just to even think about that,

543
00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:02,399
Speaker 1: like just how many times God has shielded me, you know,

544
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:06,520
Speaker 1: protected me because he knew that He was preparing me

545
00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:10,119
Speaker 1: for something. So don't go fucking up your ship, you

546
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:13,400
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, Like with a out of off

547
00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:17,119
Speaker 1: of impulse, you know what I'm saying, and temporary anger,

548
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:21,359
Speaker 1: don't go making no permanent decisions with temporary anger and

549
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:23,920
Speaker 1: temporary feelings and you know, temporary thoughts.

550
00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:25,240
Speaker 4: Or because that's that's the enemy.

551
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:28,000
Speaker 1: That's the enemy's job to distract you, and sometimes they'll

552
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:30,960
Speaker 1: send people closest to you to do that, you know.

553
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:36,680
Speaker 1: So becoming a mom has taught me patience and gave

554
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:42,920
Speaker 1: me literally the purest, most genuine love ever you feel

555
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:46,040
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Like least the purest they come out

556
00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:49,800
Speaker 1: of you to give you nothing but love. It changes you, right,

557
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:52,480
Speaker 1: it does, because for a long time I didn't even

558
00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:54,200
Speaker 1: feel like beautiful.

559
00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:57,119
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying. It didn't matter, really didn't

560
00:25:57,119 --> 00:25:57,600
Speaker 4: matter how.

561
00:25:57,680 --> 00:26:00,359
Speaker 2: Even as the time you got to your you were

562
00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:05,639
Speaker 2: a mom, you were already like Tiana Taylor.

563
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:07,960
Speaker 1: But that's what I'm saying. Everybody fight their own little

564
00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:12,520
Speaker 1: quiet battles, you know what I'm saying. And granted I

565
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:15,120
Speaker 1: may be Tiana Taylor, but I may not have been

566
00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:17,600
Speaker 1: what they felt like the state of the beauty was

567
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:20,359
Speaker 1: when I was in the industry. You feel what I'm saying, So.

568
00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:21,280
Speaker 4: I didn't know.

569
00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:25,720
Speaker 1: But it's just like having a kid tell you beautiful

570
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:28,239
Speaker 1: just hit different, you know what I'm saying, Because one

571
00:26:28,359 --> 00:26:31,720
Speaker 1: kids are very honest. So it's like, you know, being

572
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:36,280
Speaker 1: a mom has like really built my self esteem in

573
00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:37,080
Speaker 1: a lot of ways.

574
00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:39,560
Speaker 2: So thing about that time though, because I think people

575
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:42,520
Speaker 2: looking at you could probably think they can't even imagine that.

576
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:45,199
Speaker 1: Like would think about it too. When I was younger,

577
00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:51,000
Speaker 1: I got teased having a deep voice or my lips

578
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:53,480
Speaker 1: being big. You feel what I'm saying like I got

579
00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:56,920
Speaker 1: teased for all that, so coming into the industry and

580
00:26:57,760 --> 00:26:59,880
Speaker 1: people are all voice man deep, you know what I'm

581
00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:02,560
Speaker 1: say saying, like if you if you're dealing with kind

582
00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:03,840
Speaker 1: of some of the things, if you was dealing with

583
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:06,960
Speaker 1: coming up, then to you it seems to be true.

584
00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:09,800
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Like, I don't know, it's

585
00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:11,000
Speaker 1: a weird thing, That's what I'm saying. I feel like

586
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:12,640
Speaker 1: we're talking about a lot of shit that I never

587
00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:15,280
Speaker 1: really talk about. You know, I kind of just I

588
00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:17,440
Speaker 1: chuck it up and I keep it pushing. I've done

589
00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:19,880
Speaker 1: it all of my life. Literally all thirty two years

590
00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:24,639
Speaker 1: of my life, I've literally kept pushing. So it's just

591
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:27,240
Speaker 1: like that's why I'm like, it's really hard to get

592
00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:30,320
Speaker 1: into a lot of things or even just try and

593
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:33,840
Speaker 1: break down what I'm trying to say, because it's all within,

594
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:36,320
Speaker 1: it's all feelings, whether it's good or bad. You know

595
00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:37,800
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Like, this is a hard thing because

596
00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:40,480
Speaker 1: I don't really well about it.

597
00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:42,199
Speaker 2: I think those are the things that connect us, right

598
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:45,520
Speaker 2: because I think, like I went to dinner the other

599
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:47,159
Speaker 2: night with a friend that I've been in the business with.

600
00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:49,040
Speaker 1: He's been in the game. As long as me and

601
00:27:49,119 --> 00:27:49,760
Speaker 1: we see each.

602
00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:51,680
Speaker 2: Other, we show love. You probably have mad people like this.

603
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:53,159
Speaker 2: You and I are kind of probably like that, Like.

604
00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:55,640
Speaker 1: We always show love. You always felt like I got love.

605
00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:57,879
Speaker 2: For you, right, But we never really sat like so

606
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:00,000
Speaker 2: it's just a friend like that somebody I knew, I respect.

607
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:03,280
Speaker 1: We had dinner and he's in the middle of going

608
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:04,159
Speaker 1: through something real, like.

609
00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:07,680
Speaker 2: Super real, and we start sharing like some of the

610
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:09,600
Speaker 2: shit all that's going on in our real lives, and

611
00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:12,760
Speaker 2: I just was like, I know this dude for thirty years.

612
00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:15,639
Speaker 2: I never realized that we have like some of the

613
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:17,560
Speaker 2: same challenges and my man has some of the same

614
00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:19,919
Speaker 2: child like sometimes I think we all see each other.

615
00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:21,280
Speaker 2: We cross each other and pass.

616
00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:21,600
Speaker 4: In the streets.

617
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:23,840
Speaker 2: Even family members, Yeah, oh that's my cousin.

618
00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:24,600
Speaker 1: He loves all I am.

619
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:27,040
Speaker 2: But they don't know when you wake up in your

620
00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:30,960
Speaker 2: low moment, like what what your demons are or you

621
00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:32,040
Speaker 2: talk about having demons.

622
00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:32,320
Speaker 1: But like.

623
00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:36,399
Speaker 2: I think of people watching this when people sit at

624
00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:38,800
Speaker 2: home that are in the trenches of that type of shit,

625
00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:41,960
Speaker 2: like and need to feel like it's not they're not

626
00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:42,640
Speaker 2: by themselves.

627
00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:44,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's definitely not by themselves. I think that's why

628
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:48,440
Speaker 1: this is important, but also why it is important to

629
00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:57,040
Speaker 1: share it because you know, there's there's there's there's demons

630
00:28:57,080 --> 00:28:59,680
Speaker 1: all around, there's demons in human form. There's demons. That's

631
00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:02,120
Speaker 1: that's the enemy, that is the distraction. So a demon

632
00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:05,480
Speaker 1: can just be something as small as a distraction. You

633
00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:07,480
Speaker 1: feel what I'm saying. So we're all fighting a battle,

634
00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:09,400
Speaker 1: We're all fighting demons. That's why I said it's about

635
00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:14,040
Speaker 1: who is being defeated versus who is defeating. I defeat,

636
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:17,480
Speaker 1: my defeat the motherfuckers not playing with y'all. You feel

637
00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:19,560
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, because my God is stronger.

638
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:21,800
Speaker 2: What do you think has been your real life biggest

639
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:25,800
Speaker 2: demon or distraction that you've had to like constantly check?

640
00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:27,280
Speaker 1: Hm.

641
00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:29,360
Speaker 4: I know that's a heavy one, but.

642
00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:39,440
Speaker 1: I guess like how I let things affect me, you know,

643
00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:43,000
Speaker 1: because I go into everything with just so genuine and

644
00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:46,040
Speaker 1: like with so much love. So I ain't gonna front

645
00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:47,920
Speaker 1: like I at a point in time where I would

646
00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:52,520
Speaker 1: get in my feelings about everything. Well, whoever, you're gonna

647
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:54,280
Speaker 1: know how I feel. I'm gonna keep it a being.

648
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:59,000
Speaker 1: You can deem me as difficult, I don't care, you know,

649
00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:00,360
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, You're not gonna play me.

650
00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:04,080
Speaker 2: Because that because people hurt your feeling or yeah, you know.

651
00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:06,960
Speaker 1: Like I've got my feelings hurt. But I think also

652
00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:10,760
Speaker 1: like just also having a bit of like abandonment issues.

653
00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:13,080
Speaker 1: You feel what I'm saying, and just want to feel

654
00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:15,840
Speaker 1: protected and want to feel safe. And I think that

655
00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:19,120
Speaker 1: that's what hurt with them being in the industry and

656
00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:22,480
Speaker 1: being signed to certain people that I looked at, look

657
00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:27,920
Speaker 1: to for protection and kind of like allowed whoever else

658
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:31,040
Speaker 1: to do whatever with me. You feel what I'm saying.

659
00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:33,960
Speaker 2: So it's just like, I don't know, it's a lot

660
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:39,040
Speaker 2: what is the abandonment issues from? Because your family is around.

661
00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:44,240
Speaker 1: But my mom was a single parent. My biological pops

662
00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:50,920
Speaker 1: was in jail like thirteen fourteen, here's my life thirteen

663
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:57,000
Speaker 1: something like that. And so even with that, you know,

664
00:30:57,200 --> 00:31:01,520
Speaker 1: before my mom found true love and happiness, was just

665
00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:05,120
Speaker 1: both loved Bow money Pops. Thank God.

666
00:31:05,200 --> 00:31:06,920
Speaker 4: Not everybody has a good Yeah.

667
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:08,520
Speaker 1: That's my boy.

668
00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:10,040
Speaker 4: That's another one one of my dogs. If I said

669
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:11,400
Speaker 4: you my dog, like I fuck with whatever.

670
00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:13,600
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, and and and that's.

671
00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:14,680
Speaker 4: That's who BO is.

672
00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:19,480
Speaker 1: But like before you know, VOT really came around and

673
00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:21,640
Speaker 1: we got super duper close. You got to think about it,

674
00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:24,840
Speaker 1: like coming from that not really having a dad, and

675
00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:30,640
Speaker 1: then you know, another figure in my life wound up

676
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:34,160
Speaker 1: getting murdered. You know, the closest thing. You know, how

677
00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:36,280
Speaker 1: old when that when that happened? How old are you

678
00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:38,680
Speaker 1: when that happened? I had to be involved, and that's

679
00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:41,120
Speaker 1: why my pops, my pops were still locked up, so

680
00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:43,440
Speaker 1: I had to be partly about like eleven or twelve,

681
00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:49,800
Speaker 1: my mom's uh at the time was murdered, and that

682
00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:52,360
Speaker 1: she just took me down, you know what I'm saying.

683
00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:58,320
Speaker 1: So my biological pops coming out of jail, us trying

684
00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:01,120
Speaker 1: to build a wayship, we just kept clashing. Rees were

685
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:02,760
Speaker 1: clashing because it's like you got out thinking you was

686
00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:05,280
Speaker 1: about to like tell me how this ship run, and

687
00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:06,680
Speaker 1: it's like, bro, you've been like for dumb long. You

688
00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:08,280
Speaker 1: don't even know how to work the steering wheel, like

689
00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:09,720
Speaker 1: you you fee what I'm saying. You don't even know

690
00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:11,520
Speaker 1: how to work the cap that chair? What the fuck

691
00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:13,480
Speaker 1: is you talk about? You call him dad or were

692
00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:15,160
Speaker 1: not first name?

693
00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:19,160
Speaker 4: But the crazy what about it is? I wanted that

694
00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:20,480
Speaker 4: figure so bad that yes.

695
00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:24,000
Speaker 1: When he first got out, I was excited to say, dad,

696
00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:26,280
Speaker 1: until he got me fucked up a little bit, you

697
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:27,720
Speaker 1: feel me, So then it.

698
00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:32,200
Speaker 4: Was just like being signed, getting signed to.

699
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:37,800
Speaker 1: A man. You know. It was like a figure to me,

700
00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:39,240
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, Like, oh my god, Like

701
00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:42,800
Speaker 1: you know, I looked at these people like figures, you

702
00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:45,040
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. Whether it was as a as

703
00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:47,560
Speaker 1: a dad or as a brother.

704
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:48,000
Speaker 4: It didn't matter.

705
00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:51,080
Speaker 1: So it was like you didn't see me when you

706
00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:54,480
Speaker 1: didn't hear me, you didn't protect me. You just kind

707
00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:56,680
Speaker 1: of just like fed me to the wolves type shit

708
00:32:56,720 --> 00:32:59,240
Speaker 1: without even probably even knowing you know what I'm saying.

709
00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:03,280
Speaker 1: And those are goals were you know, some of those

710
00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:04,440
Speaker 1: conversations still need to be.

711
00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:06,680
Speaker 3: Had.

712
00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:09,040
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, will you personally, I mean, you

713
00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:10,920
Speaker 2: share whatever you want to share today or not share,

714
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:13,960
Speaker 2: but will you at some point in your life because.

715
00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:16,680
Speaker 4: You don't want to hold on to nothing like I

716
00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:17,240
Speaker 4: don't know if.

717
00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:21,040
Speaker 2: You've had already with some of those figures, have had

718
00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:24,040
Speaker 2: these like honest conversations about how it's affected you and

719
00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:26,800
Speaker 2: and how it hurt you, or you had.

720
00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:30,400
Speaker 1: A really really really really deep and honest conversation with

721
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:33,600
Speaker 1: Forrell because you know that he was the first person

722
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:36,120
Speaker 1: to sign me, and you know he was skateboard pe

723
00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:37,800
Speaker 1: I was skateboard tea. You know what I'm saying, Like

724
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:40,480
Speaker 1: that was you cannot tell me that wasn't my pops,

725
00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:40,920
Speaker 1: you feel me?

726
00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:41,080
Speaker 2: Like?

727
00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:43,280
Speaker 4: And I really like, did he know that?

728
00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:43,640
Speaker 1: Though?

729
00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:43,920
Speaker 3: Yeah?

730
00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:45,600
Speaker 1: You know what's crazy. He didn't have He didn't have

731
00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:48,200
Speaker 1: kids at the time, and he wanted like he wanted

732
00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:49,120
Speaker 1: kids and he would be.

733
00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:51,160
Speaker 4: Like, yo, she called me her pops like he was

734
00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:52,840
Speaker 4: really proud of that, you know what I'm saying.

735
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:55,400
Speaker 2: But he could he really understand what that meant though,

736
00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:58,040
Speaker 2: like knowing what you've been through with your pops and

737
00:33:58,160 --> 00:33:58,640
Speaker 2: how trigger.

738
00:33:58,800 --> 00:34:00,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, he didn't. He didn't know of those things. You

739
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:03,360
Speaker 1: got to think about it. Like for me, walking it

740
00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:05,880
Speaker 1: out was really like his baby twin, you know what

741
00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:08,480
Speaker 1: I'm saying. Like we both from the Daily Met had

742
00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:10,640
Speaker 1: on damn near the same fit, you know what I'm saying.

743
00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:13,239
Speaker 1: So it's just like, oh, yeah, she really little me.

744
00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:15,960
Speaker 1: You feel what I'm saying, it's really my little nigga,

745
00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:18,000
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. Likes and that's what it was.

746
00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:21,920
Speaker 1: And he was you know, like a figure to me

747
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:24,759
Speaker 1: in some sort, you know. So it's just like to

748
00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:28,560
Speaker 1: hold you at such a pedestal, and you know, at

749
00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:30,839
Speaker 1: the same time, you know, he's not confrontational at all.

750
00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:34,120
Speaker 1: He's literally one of these people in just the whole

751
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:36,359
Speaker 1: wild world, you know what I'm saying. So it wasn't

752
00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:38,960
Speaker 1: that he didn't protect me. I just think a lot

753
00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:42,319
Speaker 1: of hands started going into the cookie jar. You feel

754
00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:45,839
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, And he didn't, you know, like it's

755
00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:48,160
Speaker 1: p like he's not about to be like no all y'all,

756
00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:52,000
Speaker 1: Nigga's back up. You feel me, like you know, maybe

757
00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:54,480
Speaker 1: he was heard about some things. Maybe you know what

758
00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:56,799
Speaker 1: I'm saying, You just you don't know. Maybe it could

759
00:34:56,840 --> 00:34:58,920
Speaker 1: have been a thing of pride and ego at the time.

760
00:34:59,160 --> 00:34:59,640
Speaker 4: We don't know.

761
00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:02,919
Speaker 1: To me as a fifteen year old, was you didn't

762
00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:08,040
Speaker 1: protect me. You let everybodys mishandle me.

763
00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:09,120
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying.

764
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:11,680
Speaker 1: When I signed to you, you know what I'm saying, like,

765
00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:13,960
Speaker 1: and you let everybody get in away, you let everybody

766
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:15,480
Speaker 1: break us apart.

767
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:17,920
Speaker 4: You didn't protect me, you know.

768
00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:21,000
Speaker 2: So I understand that that's like probably so hard for

769
00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:21,640
Speaker 2: him to hear.

770
00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:25,160
Speaker 1: That it took me a long time tos like I said,

771
00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:27,960
Speaker 1: think even though I'm saying all of this, this is

772
00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:29,480
Speaker 1: not things that like I showed.

773
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:31,960
Speaker 2: You get what I'm saying it, I had the tough

774
00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:33,879
Speaker 2: exterior of any young girl.

775
00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:36,319
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get my job done. That's why I said,

776
00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:38,400
Speaker 1: I bitch morted to holler to my personal friends, my

777
00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:39,040
Speaker 1: mom or whatever.

778
00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:40,279
Speaker 4: But I'm gonna get the job done, you know.

779
00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:43,840
Speaker 1: And I just recently share that with him, And I

780
00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:46,480
Speaker 1: want to say it might have been like right after

781
00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:50,360
Speaker 1: Fade came out. That's made it even doper because for me,

782
00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:53,040
Speaker 1: I was at the top, top top when that shit

783
00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:57,040
Speaker 1: came out, you know. And I love that I was

784
00:35:57,120 --> 00:36:00,160
Speaker 1: able to just like share that with him during bring

785
00:36:00,280 --> 00:36:02,600
Speaker 1: up a high, you know what I'm saying, and not

786
00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:06,959
Speaker 1: like hitting somebody up while you're angry and sitting around

787
00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:09,279
Speaker 1: somewhere bitter. Nah, I wasn't that. So I was like

788
00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:12,840
Speaker 1: in a super like just poised, graceful place. It's just

789
00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:15,440
Speaker 1: kind of like let him know just how proud I

790
00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:17,600
Speaker 1: was of just us, you know what I'm saying, Like

791
00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:20,239
Speaker 1: how far we've come. So it was never a thing

792
00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:23,200
Speaker 1: of like, y'all, I feel away. It was really like, yo,

793
00:36:23,239 --> 00:36:25,320
Speaker 1: I won't let you know I really love you and

794
00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:28,600
Speaker 1: I appreciate you know every That's what it was. You know,

795
00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:31,960
Speaker 1: I'd be basking in my blessings I do, and I'd

796
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:34,160
Speaker 1: be having the moments while I just thinking, I'm like, damn,

797
00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:36,840
Speaker 1: like no matter how I felt when I was younger,

798
00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:39,600
Speaker 1: like none of these doors would have ever open if

799
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:42,480
Speaker 1: it wasn't for Pete. So one thing about me is

800
00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:44,200
Speaker 1: I just know how to give thanks, you know what

801
00:36:44,239 --> 00:36:46,719
Speaker 1: I'm saying to the people who has blessed me. So

802
00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:47,239
Speaker 1: it's like.

803
00:36:51,760 --> 00:36:52,600
Speaker 4: With him, it's while I.

804
00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:57,960
Speaker 1: Hold him on such a hot passuit because I didn't

805
00:36:57,960 --> 00:37:02,239
Speaker 1: have a dad, you know what I'm saying, and he

806
00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:07,160
Speaker 1: enjoyed me bragging about him, like you know, calling him

807
00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:09,840
Speaker 1: dad because maybe something that he wanted, you know what

808
00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:12,239
Speaker 1: I'm saying. He wanted kids at the time really bad,

809
00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:14,360
Speaker 1: and maybe he was in whatever space he was in,

810
00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:16,680
Speaker 1: but it was clearly the emotional space for the both

811
00:37:16,719 --> 00:37:17,000
Speaker 1: of us.

812
00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:21,719
Speaker 4: And it's just I don't know.

813
00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:24,040
Speaker 1: My mom always taught me to be grounded and just

814
00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:27,719
Speaker 1: be thankful for people that are blessings to me. So

815
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:30,839
Speaker 1: it's just like even it is mad if I was hurt.

816
00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:33,640
Speaker 1: I was a mom, so I had learned patience, I

817
00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:36,800
Speaker 1: learned grace, I learned you know. So it's just like

818
00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:39,799
Speaker 1: I was really hitting him up to just like say

819
00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:42,320
Speaker 1: thank you, you know what I'm saying, for everything, because

820
00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:45,040
Speaker 1: also knowing him as well as I know him, it

821
00:37:45,160 --> 00:37:45,759
Speaker 1: wasn't the thing.

822
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:46,560
Speaker 4: That you did on purpose.

823
00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:49,359
Speaker 1: You didn't purposely not protect me, you know what I'm saying.

824
00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:51,640
Speaker 1: It might have been a thing where like you like,

825
00:37:52,280 --> 00:37:54,960
Speaker 1: you know, he's so gentle, you know, and just kind

826
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:57,680
Speaker 1: of just like let everybody push him off away. And

827
00:37:57,760 --> 00:38:00,879
Speaker 1: I guess for me, that fifteen year old, that girl

828
00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:04,160
Speaker 1: just needed you to fight a little harder, you know

829
00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:06,440
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, needed you to maybe push even if

830
00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:08,400
Speaker 1: you didn't have the strength to. I just needed you

831
00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:11,080
Speaker 1: to push for me more, you know what I'm saying.

832
00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:14,480
Speaker 1: So that being my first experience and then going on

833
00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:18,440
Speaker 1: with life and just constantly receiving disappointments or just a

834
00:38:18,560 --> 00:38:23,879
Speaker 1: lack of protection, a lack of fight, you know, which

835
00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:27,080
Speaker 1: maybe even like run over into why I'm able to

836
00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:29,920
Speaker 1: have a healthy communication with why it's certain things I

837
00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:32,520
Speaker 1: don't play about. You feel what I'm saying, Like you

838
00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:34,920
Speaker 1: need to fight. This is what you want, you fight

839
00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:36,239
Speaker 1: for it, you know what I'm saying, And I think

840
00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:38,560
Speaker 1: that that's what gave me. I'll fight for every role.

841
00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:42,200
Speaker 1: I fight for every blessing. I fight, and I'm willing

842
00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:44,839
Speaker 1: to do the work. And I fight because I haven't

843
00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:47,080
Speaker 1: really had many people here to fight for me, you

844
00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:48,680
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. Like, of course got my mom

845
00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:50,520
Speaker 1: that was there to fight for me, but we both

846
00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:52,680
Speaker 1: learned in the industry as we go, and because she's

847
00:38:52,719 --> 00:38:55,200
Speaker 1: a woman in the industry, she's considered a problem for

848
00:38:55,360 --> 00:38:57,920
Speaker 1: knowing too much, you feel what I'm saying. So it's like,

849
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:00,479
Speaker 1: that's what I think that the abandonment is who sorry

850
00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:04,120
Speaker 1: showing up for everybody, you know what I'm saying, and

851
00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:05,760
Speaker 1: people not Really.

852
00:39:06,239 --> 00:39:08,120
Speaker 2: Isn't it crazy how like a moment like that could

853
00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:10,520
Speaker 2: even and you probably even in the time you were

854
00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:12,560
Speaker 2: probably angry because things didn't go the way you want it,

855
00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:15,320
Speaker 2: but like when you realize how much it like affected

856
00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:18,719
Speaker 2: the young girl and why it wasn't just because you

857
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:20,080
Speaker 2: were disappointed in the business.

858
00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:21,880
Speaker 1: But this is why I also don't do a lot

859
00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:25,520
Speaker 1: of interviews because it's just like I don't you know,

860
00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:29,960
Speaker 1: I don't like to have people in the group chat.

861
00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:32,200
Speaker 4: You feel what I'm saying, like, get it.

862
00:39:32,360 --> 00:39:34,879
Speaker 1: You know, I love staying in myself and I don't

863
00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:37,880
Speaker 1: want to ruffle any feathers, Like I don't like this

864
00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:38,600
Speaker 1: kind of stuff.

865
00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:39,160
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying.

866
00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:42,839
Speaker 1: I don't want to push you too far. That was cool,

867
00:39:43,040 --> 00:39:45,920
Speaker 1: I don't, But I do want to give him his flowers.

868
00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:48,000
Speaker 1: Because even at that time, when I finally expressed to

869
00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:51,480
Speaker 1: him the things that I have felt, it was so

870
00:39:51,719 --> 00:39:54,120
Speaker 1: genuine and it was so sweet, Like I wasn't even angry,

871
00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:56,080
Speaker 1: like I said, I was in a moment of like

872
00:39:56,120 --> 00:39:57,680
Speaker 1: because at that time I did for like once they

873
00:39:57,800 --> 00:40:00,239
Speaker 1: came out like it did feel like a moment y'all

874
00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:02,160
Speaker 1: was basking and all of my blessings, and I knew

875
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:05,160
Speaker 1: that I could not continue to bask in that without

876
00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:09,400
Speaker 1: reaching out to the person who made everything all possible,

877
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:10,680
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. So I hit him up

878
00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:13,360
Speaker 1: and want some like thankful shit, and I just didn't

879
00:40:13,440 --> 00:40:14,960
Speaker 1: expect for it to hit him the way that it

880
00:40:15,120 --> 00:40:19,040
Speaker 1: hit him. You know, these apologies and it was you

881
00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:22,000
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, It was accountability. And you know,

882
00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:25,040
Speaker 1: it's no need to get into detail about the conversation,

883
00:40:25,120 --> 00:40:28,239
Speaker 1: but it was accountability most importantly, And I think that

884
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:31,640
Speaker 1: that is the part that's just like you know, like

885
00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:33,680
Speaker 1: fore you huh? Did free you?

886
00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:35,879
Speaker 4: I like it did?

887
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:39,320
Speaker 1: It freed me to to actually hear his side. It

888
00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:43,160
Speaker 1: freed me to not judge him based on maybe what

889
00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:44,719
Speaker 1: I judge him at fifteen. That's what I'm saying, Like

890
00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:48,080
Speaker 1: becoming a mom and becoming a wife and learning communication

891
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:51,000
Speaker 1: and learning that you know the same way you're going

892
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:53,640
Speaker 1: through something and dealing with things. It's another side, you know,

893
00:40:53,760 --> 00:40:54,440
Speaker 1: it's not just you.

894
00:40:54,719 --> 00:40:59,000
Speaker 2: Did that conversation help you? I know things are sensitive,

895
00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:00,839
Speaker 2: so I want to be careful how assets, But did

896
00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:04,040
Speaker 2: that help you? And as the grown up having grown

897
00:41:04,120 --> 00:41:06,600
Speaker 2: up disappointment in your career? You know what I mean,

898
00:41:06,640 --> 00:41:09,160
Speaker 2: did you take it as hard when things maybe didn't

899
00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:11,120
Speaker 2: work out the next time as.

900
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:17,680
Speaker 1: You did with that time? Or I must say that,

901
00:41:19,160 --> 00:41:24,000
Speaker 1: you know, when I decided to depart from good music,

902
00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:26,479
Speaker 1: I mean not good music, decided to depart from Star Trek,

903
00:41:28,160 --> 00:41:30,440
Speaker 1: you know, it was a hard conversation. He didn't want

904
00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:33,200
Speaker 1: me to go, but I just felt like I needed

905
00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:36,560
Speaker 1: to explore myself, just as just I needed to find myself.

906
00:41:36,640 --> 00:41:39,520
Speaker 1: You know, I signed when I was fifteen. I got

907
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:41,760
Speaker 1: out of the contract and I was like, what twenty

908
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:45,759
Speaker 1: twenty twenty two, maybe like twenty one twenty two. You

909
00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:47,720
Speaker 1: feel what I'm saying. So it's like you don't understand

910
00:41:47,719 --> 00:41:49,800
Speaker 1: that that's a that's a long time, you know what

911
00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:52,000
Speaker 1: I'm saying, and you're trying to like figure out life,

912
00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:55,120
Speaker 1: and you're just like, I'm coming of age, you know,

913
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:58,000
Speaker 1: I'm becoming a young woman. It's like I gotta figure

914
00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:00,359
Speaker 1: this out, you know, like I gotta figure it out.

915
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:01,719
Speaker 1: And it was hard because it was also one of

916
00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:04,520
Speaker 1: the last conversations that I had with Jay Ice Pick,

917
00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:06,520
Speaker 1: you know, so that's tough one.

918
00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:07,200
Speaker 4: That was my boy.

919
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:12,800
Speaker 1: So, you know, leaving that and then going to a

920
00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:15,440
Speaker 1: session because me and Gay Warrior like kind of like

921
00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:17,960
Speaker 1: fashion buddies or whatever. I remember coming to a session

922
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:19,680
Speaker 1: so we could just kind of just talk about clothes,

923
00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:24,279
Speaker 1: and he had can you get ah yeah that song

924
00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:26,600
Speaker 1: and I was singing. He was like, oh, you know

925
00:42:26,640 --> 00:42:28,360
Speaker 1: how to sing for real? For real? Like can you

926
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:29,800
Speaker 1: go and do something. That's how I got the opportunity

927
00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:30,520
Speaker 1: to get on that song.

928
00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:33,400
Speaker 4: And I remember him asking.

929
00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:36,960
Speaker 1: Like, yo, what's your situation like what's up, Like, let's

930
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:40,279
Speaker 1: get it popping, you know, and I thought, and then

931
00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:43,040
Speaker 1: once again it is he's a genius. You know. I'm like, okay, cool,

932
00:42:43,120 --> 00:42:45,560
Speaker 1: like maybe this is like the new A Star Trek

933
00:42:45,560 --> 00:42:46,800
Speaker 1: because that's what it was at the time, you know

934
00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:49,120
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. And it was just like okay, like

935
00:42:49,239 --> 00:42:51,680
Speaker 1: I'll figure it out. Yeah, this is good music now.

936
00:42:52,239 --> 00:42:55,040
Speaker 1: So now I'm like stepping into another situation after I

937
00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:57,239
Speaker 1: just got out of something very difficult. So it's like relationships,

938
00:42:57,239 --> 00:43:00,960
Speaker 1: you know, stepping out of one thing and going into another.

939
00:43:01,120 --> 00:43:03,160
Speaker 1: But me, I've always respected the people that's come be

940
00:43:03,239 --> 00:43:06,520
Speaker 1: for me. I've always respected, you know, just creative people.

941
00:43:06,600 --> 00:43:09,080
Speaker 1: So I'm not looking at it like I'm looking at

942
00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:11,560
Speaker 1: it like, you know, like he's a fucking genius. He's

943
00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:14,359
Speaker 1: like you know what I'm saying. Like, And it's crazy

944
00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:16,560
Speaker 1: because the first day I met Pharrell to sing to Pharrell,

945
00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:20,240
Speaker 1: him and Kanye was in town to do their record

946
00:43:20,360 --> 00:43:24,200
Speaker 1: number one on like Good Day New York is something

947
00:43:24,280 --> 00:43:27,480
Speaker 1: like that. But so that's crazy. That was a full

948
00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:31,160
Speaker 1: circle moment. But you know, yeah, to to sign to

949
00:43:32,719 --> 00:43:35,000
Speaker 1: to yay once again, I think I was looking for

950
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:39,200
Speaker 1: you know, the protection, and I thought that maybe he

951
00:43:39,239 --> 00:43:41,200
Speaker 1: would get it right not no, not no, no, no, no,

952
00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:42,640
Speaker 1: like oh yeah, Kanye, you're my dad.

953
00:43:42,719 --> 00:43:44,799
Speaker 4: Nah, we ain't doing it. Wasn't given. I was gonna say,

954
00:43:44,840 --> 00:43:47,600
Speaker 4: from fifteen to that age, yeah now are.

955
00:43:48,800 --> 00:43:52,279
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, But it was When I say protection, I

956
00:43:52,320 --> 00:43:55,160
Speaker 1: don't I don't mean just like like on some father

957
00:43:55,239 --> 00:43:57,960
Speaker 1: figure shit. You want to just protection within the industry.

958
00:43:58,080 --> 00:43:59,880
Speaker 1: This is a dirty game. It's an industry full of

959
00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:02,520
Speaker 1: fucking wolves. You feel what I'm saying. And I'm leaving

960
00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:05,000
Speaker 1: one thing to go into another, you know, like no

961
00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:07,399
Speaker 1: matter where you go, when you go into a train station,

962
00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:09,120
Speaker 1: you going to a radio, and if everybody wants to

963
00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:12,719
Speaker 1: feel safe, they want the surroundings to feel safe. You

964
00:44:12,760 --> 00:44:13,439
Speaker 1: feel what I'm saying.

965
00:44:13,480 --> 00:44:15,760
Speaker 4: So it's like to jump into another situation.

966
00:44:17,360 --> 00:44:20,279
Speaker 1: Where was it? Even just the fade thing hurt more

967
00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:22,840
Speaker 1: because it's like, well, who was fade really for? And

968
00:44:22,920 --> 00:44:24,600
Speaker 1: even by the time Faye came out, I had been

969
00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:27,520
Speaker 1: signing to good music for a lot of years, you know,

970
00:44:27,680 --> 00:44:30,120
Speaker 1: And one thing about me is I'm a workaholic. I

971
00:44:30,239 --> 00:44:32,000
Speaker 1: work my ass off, So it ain't like like you

972
00:44:32,040 --> 00:44:33,640
Speaker 1: know when people are like, yeah, could you know that

973
00:44:33,719 --> 00:44:35,160
Speaker 1: person never got ahead because sid oh they had a

974
00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:36,279
Speaker 1: bad attitude. They didn't.

975
00:44:36,520 --> 00:44:39,480
Speaker 4: That's not that's not me even ethic. It's like, yeah,

976
00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:40,879
Speaker 4: you know what I'm saying. So it's like talking about

977
00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:43,000
Speaker 4: this before you show up on time for stuff.

978
00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:46,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, I take it very serious. Like my time management

979
00:44:46,960 --> 00:44:50,120
Speaker 1: is impeccable. Even during concerts, I will curse my whole staff.

980
00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:52,359
Speaker 1: I don't like being late for my shows. I don't

981
00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:54,120
Speaker 1: like being late anywhere. I feel what I'm saying. So

982
00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:55,799
Speaker 1: it was never a thing where it was like, oh,

983
00:44:55,920 --> 00:44:58,600
Speaker 1: her attitude or this has held her back. I did

984
00:44:58,680 --> 00:45:02,480
Speaker 1: everything I did. My moved boards, I styled myself, I

985
00:45:02,640 --> 00:45:03,400
Speaker 1: dressed myself.

986
00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:04,200
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying.

987
00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:05,840
Speaker 1: I was doing a lot. I was really saving the

988
00:45:05,880 --> 00:45:08,040
Speaker 1: label a lot of money. So it's like the little

989
00:45:08,120 --> 00:45:11,600
Speaker 1: that I'm asking for, it really should not be a problem,

990
00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:13,440
Speaker 1: you know. So it's like when Faye came out, was like, yo,

991
00:45:13,640 --> 00:45:16,920
Speaker 1: like who is this really for? You know what I'm saying, Like,

992
00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:18,640
Speaker 1: who when do I get my moment? You have to

993
00:45:18,680 --> 00:45:19,160
Speaker 1: be thinking like.

994
00:45:19,200 --> 00:45:21,719
Speaker 4: When do I get my moment? You know what I'm saying.

995
00:45:21,800 --> 00:45:24,440
Speaker 1: And you know, like I said, I'm very grateful for

996
00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:27,359
Speaker 1: everyone who's been put into my life. Kanye is still

997
00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:33,239
Speaker 1: you know, provided life changing opportunities, and you know, I'm

998
00:45:33,480 --> 00:45:36,479
Speaker 1: so grateful, you know what I'm saying. But I still

999
00:45:36,560 --> 00:45:40,520
Speaker 1: feel like, you know, that is probably that is the

1000
00:45:40,600 --> 00:45:45,320
Speaker 1: conversation that definitely needs to be had, you know. But

1001
00:45:45,440 --> 00:45:46,879
Speaker 1: that's the other reason why I don't like I don't

1002
00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:49,920
Speaker 1: like interviews because people would try and like bring up

1003
00:45:49,960 --> 00:45:52,920
Speaker 1: my frustrations with my role or whatever to try and

1004
00:45:53,080 --> 00:45:55,600
Speaker 1: like use it as a let's hate Kanye train. You

1005
00:45:55,680 --> 00:45:56,399
Speaker 1: feel what I'm saying.

1006
00:45:56,920 --> 00:45:58,960
Speaker 2: Do you feel like you're at a point now because

1007
00:45:59,760 --> 00:46:02,920
Speaker 2: you looking for Parrel to protect you or Kanye will

1008
00:46:02,920 --> 00:46:05,560
Speaker 2: protect you. But I'm wondering if you have changed your

1009
00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:07,880
Speaker 2: perspective about who is here to protect you.

1010
00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:12,920
Speaker 1: I definitely changed my perspective after the Pharal and Kanye

1011
00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:17,359
Speaker 1: thing is when I had to take accountability and really

1012
00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:20,960
Speaker 1: continue to build an even stronger relationship with God.

1013
00:46:21,280 --> 00:46:25,960
Speaker 2: I feel like that I feel like, I don't know,

1014
00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:29,359
Speaker 2: just I see you, you know what I'm saying.

1015
00:46:29,680 --> 00:46:32,040
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I don't know why I feel.

1016
00:46:31,880 --> 00:46:32,600
Speaker 3: Emotional about that.

1017
00:46:33,680 --> 00:46:35,920
Speaker 1: It's just, you know, it's a lot of things that

1018
00:46:36,080 --> 00:46:40,520
Speaker 1: just haven't talked about, and I think also another thing

1019
00:46:40,560 --> 00:46:43,360
Speaker 1: about it is my family and I have done so

1020
00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:46,160
Speaker 1: well for ourselves that it's almost a thing of like,

1021
00:46:46,200 --> 00:46:47,239
Speaker 1: oh yeah, Tianna's good.

1022
00:46:47,320 --> 00:46:49,279
Speaker 4: Like I don't think anybody ever really got.

1023
00:46:49,200 --> 00:46:52,400
Speaker 1: The opportunity to dive into me because everybody's just genuinely

1024
00:46:52,520 --> 00:46:54,880
Speaker 1: so happy for me. And that's what I do. Like

1025
00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:59,080
Speaker 1: the industry, like well, the people, like the world has

1026
00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:01,440
Speaker 1: been so supportive of like me and my family and

1027
00:47:01,480 --> 00:47:03,200
Speaker 1: a love on me and my family so much that

1028
00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:06,319
Speaker 1: I think that it has never really been a real

1029
00:47:06,440 --> 00:47:09,000
Speaker 1: looking you know. So it's like I said, like, oh yeah, yeah,

1030
00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:12,160
Speaker 1: it's just always been like so overwhelmed and like just

1031
00:47:12,280 --> 00:47:15,600
Speaker 1: being great that is never really I don't talk about much,

1032
00:47:15,640 --> 00:47:17,200
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, Like I do keep a

1033
00:47:17,239 --> 00:47:19,400
Speaker 1: lot of things bottled up. So it's like just this

1034
00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:21,680
Speaker 1: whole press run for a NAZ has been like heavy

1035
00:47:21,760 --> 00:47:25,040
Speaker 1: for me because really, yeah, because has been therapeutic for me.

1036
00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:26,839
Speaker 1: You know. It was the first time I was able

1037
00:47:26,880 --> 00:47:29,319
Speaker 1: to like put my cape to the side, like put

1038
00:47:29,360 --> 00:47:33,000
Speaker 1: my mom cape to the side, put my super strong

1039
00:47:33,120 --> 00:47:34,680
Speaker 1: woman cape to the side, and just really have a

1040
00:47:34,760 --> 00:47:37,320
Speaker 1: moment of you know what I'm saying. Yeah, because the

1041
00:47:37,400 --> 00:47:40,560
Speaker 1: majority of the time. You know us, being strong woman

1042
00:47:42,480 --> 00:47:44,560
Speaker 1: is not by choice, you know what I'm saying. So

1043
00:47:44,640 --> 00:47:46,840
Speaker 1: it's just like to go to set twelve hours a

1044
00:47:46,920 --> 00:47:48,360
Speaker 1: day and be able to just like pour out and

1045
00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:49,200
Speaker 1: cry out loud.

1046
00:47:49,280 --> 00:47:51,560
Speaker 4: Every single most you've seen in the movie was real,

1047
00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:52,399
Speaker 4: you know what I'm saying.

1048
00:47:52,440 --> 00:47:55,400
Speaker 1: It was so when they yelled cut, I knew that

1049
00:47:55,520 --> 00:47:57,520
Speaker 1: it was time to go back home and put the

1050
00:47:57,600 --> 00:48:00,759
Speaker 1: cape back on and be okay, and be perfect and

1051
00:48:00,880 --> 00:48:01,960
Speaker 1: be you know what I'm saying.

1052
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:02,759
Speaker 4: And then to the world.

1053
00:48:04,360 --> 00:48:08,400
Speaker 1: You know, everybody's just like you know, they show so

1054
00:48:08,520 --> 00:48:11,000
Speaker 1: much love, and of course you want to inspire people

1055
00:48:11,080 --> 00:48:12,480
Speaker 1: different things like that. So it's like a lot of

1056
00:48:12,520 --> 00:48:15,920
Speaker 1: these things, my mind and life has been so occupied,

1057
00:48:16,040 --> 00:48:18,560
Speaker 1: even just with my love for my husband and you.

1058
00:48:18,560 --> 00:48:19,600
Speaker 4: Know, my family, my babies.

1059
00:48:19,600 --> 00:48:21,279
Speaker 1: I've been so occupied that I never really had the

1060
00:48:21,360 --> 00:48:25,839
Speaker 1: time to really dive into maybe things that have been traumatizing,

1061
00:48:25,880 --> 00:48:29,080
Speaker 1: you know, I guess I never visited those those traumas.

1062
00:48:29,120 --> 00:48:33,440
Speaker 4: And I think promoting this movie, it's only like it's been.

1063
00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:36,160
Speaker 1: Stirring up even just childhood trauma has been stirring up

1064
00:48:36,840 --> 00:48:39,440
Speaker 1: a lot of things that I've just been able to

1065
00:48:39,880 --> 00:48:42,920
Speaker 1: so wellly like keep to the back burner, and it's

1066
00:48:42,960 --> 00:48:44,080
Speaker 1: all kind of coming to the folks.

1067
00:48:44,080 --> 00:48:45,080
Speaker 4: So you're a tough girl.

1068
00:48:46,040 --> 00:48:49,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, so whenever you probably feel intimidated or you feel

1069
00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:51,640
Speaker 2: like vulnerable, you probably kick into like.

1070
00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:56,640
Speaker 1: Harlem, you know what I'm saying. So people, but that's

1071
00:48:56,640 --> 00:48:58,279
Speaker 1: another thing that I do kind of feel like it's

1072
00:48:58,440 --> 00:49:02,200
Speaker 1: maybe a little bit misunder I'm actually just really an egg.

1073
00:49:02,520 --> 00:49:04,560
Speaker 1: I look hard and you just kind of tap me

1074
00:49:04,640 --> 00:49:06,880
Speaker 1: on the table a few times. I'm just yoke, you know, like.

1075
00:49:06,960 --> 00:49:10,040
Speaker 4: That that's me, you know, and I love that about you.

1076
00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:11,880
Speaker 4: So but then when I tell you I see you today,

1077
00:49:12,280 --> 00:49:14,600
Speaker 4: I see that. Yeah, it doesn't make me So I'm

1078
00:49:14,640 --> 00:49:17,200
Speaker 4: actually saying that I'm very just beauty.

1079
00:49:17,239 --> 00:49:19,479
Speaker 1: I've been judged, Yeah, I've been judged of like people

1080
00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:21,320
Speaker 1: just thinking like she aggressive, she are so I know

1081
00:49:21,400 --> 00:49:22,840
Speaker 1: she probably over there, da da da. And it's just

1082
00:49:22,840 --> 00:49:24,719
Speaker 1: like I've been judged with that when people probably think

1083
00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:26,880
Speaker 1: that I was doing I probably think I said what

1084
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:28,040
Speaker 1: was easy to believe, and it is like.

1085
00:49:28,360 --> 00:49:31,960
Speaker 4: I'm actually like a fucking ball of marshmallows, you know

1086
00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:34,480
Speaker 4: what I'm saying, Like I'm most people are you know

1087
00:49:34,560 --> 00:49:34,960
Speaker 4: what I'm saying.

1088
00:49:35,000 --> 00:49:38,400
Speaker 1: But finally forced to be in a survival mode. You

1089
00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:40,560
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, just just being a black woman

1090
00:49:41,239 --> 00:49:42,240
Speaker 1: navigating life.

1091
00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:45,319
Speaker 4: And then this world in this industry too. Yes, I'm

1092
00:49:45,320 --> 00:49:46,520
Speaker 4: saying the world, the industry.

1093
00:49:46,280 --> 00:49:48,719
Speaker 1: Is dirty, you know, it's it's just a lot. And

1094
00:49:48,800 --> 00:49:50,520
Speaker 1: I do want to just clear one more thing, like

1095
00:49:50,680 --> 00:49:57,279
Speaker 1: I'm very very grateful for Kanye, you know, and for Rell.

1096
00:49:57,560 --> 00:50:01,200
Speaker 1: You know, I'm really happy that me for I was

1097
00:50:01,200 --> 00:50:04,640
Speaker 1: able to have a conversation and hopefully the next thing

1098
00:50:04,840 --> 00:50:08,840
Speaker 1: is you know, Kanye, because it's definitely a talk that

1099
00:50:08,960 --> 00:50:11,840
Speaker 1: needs to be had in an accountability that needs to

1100
00:50:11,960 --> 00:50:14,600
Speaker 1: be taken just from some brothers and sister shit, you

1101
00:50:14,680 --> 00:50:16,680
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, Like, by.

1102
00:50:16,560 --> 00:50:20,759
Speaker 2: The way, I don't feel like you acknowledging that something

1103
00:50:20,840 --> 00:50:24,080
Speaker 2: hurts you or disappointed you equals you gotta be for somebody.

1104
00:50:24,600 --> 00:50:26,759
Speaker 1: I just don't I know the world is and unfortunately,

1105
00:50:26,840 --> 00:50:30,680
Speaker 1: I just don't like to kick people down while they're down.

1106
00:50:30,760 --> 00:50:32,239
Speaker 1: And I'm not saying that Yay is down, but like

1107
00:50:33,160 --> 00:50:35,680
Speaker 1: he got so much going on. You know what I'm saying,

1108
00:50:35,719 --> 00:50:37,880
Speaker 1: I don't need this to be another thing that's like,

1109
00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:43,120
Speaker 1: you know, and I want to be there for you.

1110
00:50:43,200 --> 00:50:43,680
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying.

1111
00:50:43,680 --> 00:50:45,719
Speaker 1: I want to I'm going to protect you. So I

1112
00:50:45,920 --> 00:50:47,600
Speaker 1: was I'm a warrior, and that's that's what it was.

1113
00:50:47,800 --> 00:50:51,879
Speaker 1: I've been a soldier on every single label, the most

1114
00:50:51,960 --> 00:50:53,200
Speaker 1: law you you know what I'm saying, Like one of

1115
00:50:53,239 --> 00:50:55,319
Speaker 1: the most lay you niggas on a squad. And that's

1116
00:50:55,360 --> 00:50:57,719
Speaker 1: one thing that I could prowerfully, rightfully, right like when

1117
00:50:57,719 --> 00:50:59,640
Speaker 1: I were cursed ya y'all, Like nigg I'm the most

1118
00:50:59,719 --> 00:51:02,200
Speaker 1: lawyal on a team. You playing with me, you feel me?

1119
00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:05,200
Speaker 1: But he really got to respect it because I am

1120
00:51:06,040 --> 00:51:07,600
Speaker 1: you feel me, and don't get me wrong, like you

1121
00:51:07,680 --> 00:51:10,680
Speaker 1: know everybody got that, but I'm definitely one of them ones.

1122
00:51:11,120 --> 00:51:12,520
Speaker 1: You feel me. So it's like when I'm when I'm

1123
00:51:12,560 --> 00:51:14,520
Speaker 1: looking for that, like how do you how do you

1124
00:51:14,600 --> 00:51:16,880
Speaker 1: reciprocate that to your soldiers? How do you reward your

1125
00:51:16,920 --> 00:51:20,160
Speaker 1: soldiers for you know what I'm saying, like holding this

1126
00:51:20,200 --> 00:51:23,440
Speaker 1: ship down, holding this ship together gracefully, you know what

1127
00:51:23,440 --> 00:51:26,239
Speaker 1: I'm saying. So I do feel like I deserve you know,

1128
00:51:26,400 --> 00:51:30,520
Speaker 1: a conversation, and you know, accountability needs to be taken.

1129
00:51:30,600 --> 00:51:34,000
Speaker 4: So we could just like move past it. But it

1130
00:51:34,160 --> 00:51:35,600
Speaker 4: is a lot a lot of questions that I have.

1131
00:51:36,239 --> 00:51:38,120
Speaker 1: I love that you want to get to it too. Yeah,

1132
00:51:39,520 --> 00:51:41,799
Speaker 1: when as a mom, when it's time. Yeah, but that's

1133
00:51:41,840 --> 00:51:45,200
Speaker 1: what I learned from marriage and being a mother. And

1134
00:51:45,320 --> 00:51:47,000
Speaker 1: you have to have the patience to be willing to

1135
00:51:47,080 --> 00:51:50,000
Speaker 1: have that conversation and say, okay, cool, let's just lay

1136
00:51:50,040 --> 00:51:53,600
Speaker 1: it all out. You know because that time that you

1137
00:51:54,080 --> 00:51:55,360
Speaker 1: that I may have thought you should it on me,

1138
00:51:55,440 --> 00:51:57,520
Speaker 1: you may have been really going through some shit.

1139
00:51:58,000 --> 00:51:58,600
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying.

1140
00:51:58,640 --> 00:52:01,359
Speaker 1: But I want to know that so I can take

1141
00:52:01,360 --> 00:52:04,080
Speaker 1: accountability as well and say, okay, cool, maybe I should

1142
00:52:04,080 --> 00:52:04,880
Speaker 1: have handled that differently.

1143
00:52:05,000 --> 00:52:07,760
Speaker 4: One thing I don't run away from is accountability.

1144
00:52:08,440 --> 00:52:10,800
Speaker 1: I don't I'm quick with it, you know what I'm saying, Like,

1145
00:52:10,960 --> 00:52:15,000
Speaker 1: I don't mind that I have no I'm prideless. I'm

1146
00:52:15,080 --> 00:52:16,920
Speaker 1: egoists when it comes to the people that I love,

1147
00:52:17,400 --> 00:52:19,359
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. And that's why I think

1148
00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:21,840
Speaker 1: it's hurtful because it's like, you know, these people have

1149
00:52:22,040 --> 00:52:25,880
Speaker 1: real life bonds and relationships with so it's like, have

1150
00:52:26,080 --> 00:52:29,200
Speaker 1: compassion and give me the things that I need, you

1151
00:52:29,239 --> 00:52:30,719
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. Because then when I'm ready to go,

1152
00:52:31,440 --> 00:52:33,279
Speaker 1: everybody want to work it out. But it's like we

1153
00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:35,440
Speaker 1: don't get to work it out and act like this

1154
00:52:35,560 --> 00:52:39,879
Speaker 1: didn't happen before we can move forward. We have to yeah,

1155
00:52:40,080 --> 00:52:41,960
Speaker 1: you know, we got we gotta iron this shit out.

1156
00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:43,879
Speaker 1: We can't go into the room with a rink with shirt.

1157
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:47,680
Speaker 4: I like that in real life? What are you most

1158
00:52:47,719 --> 00:52:48,920
Speaker 4: proud of about yourself?

1159
00:52:51,400 --> 00:52:54,879
Speaker 1: In real life, I'm most proud of motherhood. I'm proud

1160
00:52:54,920 --> 00:52:58,640
Speaker 1: of my babies. It was the first decision, first real

1161
00:52:59,000 --> 00:53:01,840
Speaker 1: heavy decision that I made for myself. Like I remember

1162
00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:07,799
Speaker 1: feeling like how Lauren felt in her record Zion. You know, yeah,

1163
00:53:07,800 --> 00:53:09,880
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, like use your head with you?

1164
00:53:09,960 --> 00:53:10,799
Speaker 1: What are you doing?

1165
00:53:10,880 --> 00:53:11,800
Speaker 4: Like this could possibly this?

1166
00:53:12,600 --> 00:53:16,279
Speaker 1: And I remember not letting anybody back me into a

1167
00:53:16,360 --> 00:53:19,840
Speaker 1: corner and I followed my heart and it was the

1168
00:53:19,880 --> 00:53:25,840
Speaker 1: best decision I ever made. And my second favorite was

1169
00:53:27,120 --> 00:53:30,120
Speaker 1: once again following my heart when I when I decided

1170
00:53:30,160 --> 00:53:32,919
Speaker 1: to retire, and I remember I got knocked into a corner.

1171
00:53:32,960 --> 00:53:34,600
Speaker 4: Do you know what this could do for you? You

1172
00:53:34,680 --> 00:53:35,200
Speaker 4: know what can happen?

1173
00:53:35,800 --> 00:53:39,120
Speaker 1: And it wanted being as we sit here talking about

1174
00:53:39,160 --> 00:53:41,719
Speaker 1: Oscar Buzz, you know what up being the best I've

1175
00:53:41,800 --> 00:53:44,560
Speaker 1: really I've realized what I'm most proud of is like

1176
00:53:44,920 --> 00:53:47,640
Speaker 1: following my heart, you feel what I'm saying, and making

1177
00:53:47,680 --> 00:53:49,880
Speaker 1: the decision that I feel like it's best for me

1178
00:53:50,280 --> 00:53:53,359
Speaker 1: because it hasn't stirred me wrong yet. That's what I'm

1179
00:53:53,360 --> 00:53:54,680
Speaker 1: most I'm definitely the most proud of.

1180
00:53:55,520 --> 00:53:58,080
Speaker 2: And then so like from your real life in real life,

1181
00:53:58,320 --> 00:54:02,120
Speaker 2: what do you what do you hope people like even

1182
00:54:02,160 --> 00:54:04,480
Speaker 2: this conversation or just how you've chose to live your

1183
00:54:04,520 --> 00:54:05,919
Speaker 2: life and the art you've just you've made.

1184
00:54:06,560 --> 00:54:08,719
Speaker 4: What do you hope that people take away from that

1185
00:54:10,080 --> 00:54:10,839
Speaker 4: for their own lives.

1186
00:54:12,920 --> 00:54:17,000
Speaker 1: I hope I'm able to show people what real patients

1187
00:54:17,040 --> 00:54:23,120
Speaker 1: look like. And you know, for me, you know, being

1188
00:54:24,880 --> 00:54:28,120
Speaker 1: on the front end of things from fifteen, nobody ever

1189
00:54:28,239 --> 00:54:30,640
Speaker 1: really got to see my struggle, you know what I'm saying,

1190
00:54:30,760 --> 00:54:33,080
Speaker 1: Like it was always just me on the TV screen,

1191
00:54:33,120 --> 00:54:35,600
Speaker 1: so always just looked like life was handed to me,

1192
00:54:35,680 --> 00:54:38,520
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, Like things happened overnight and

1193
00:54:39,400 --> 00:54:41,440
Speaker 1: it wasn't that. And I think the number true testament

1194
00:54:42,400 --> 00:54:45,560
Speaker 1: to you know the fact that I never gave up,

1195
00:54:46,840 --> 00:54:51,040
Speaker 1: always remained a hustler, always remain hungry, always remain humble.

1196
00:54:51,760 --> 00:54:54,640
Speaker 1: Hopefully where people can take away from this in my

1197
00:54:54,760 --> 00:54:59,000
Speaker 1: career as patients, and to keep going and knowing that

1198
00:54:59,280 --> 00:55:02,000
Speaker 1: you know, something that make you sad doesn't mean it's

1199
00:55:02,080 --> 00:55:04,719
Speaker 1: the end of the world, you know, And also just

1200
00:55:04,800 --> 00:55:07,600
Speaker 1: going into it knowing that in this life, just be

1201
00:55:07,800 --> 00:55:10,520
Speaker 1: willing and ready to accept the apologies that you've never gotten,

1202
00:55:11,239 --> 00:55:13,360
Speaker 1: you know. And I think that that's where I am,

1203
00:55:13,440 --> 00:55:15,080
Speaker 1: and like even just down with the conversations, like I know,

1204
00:55:15,120 --> 00:55:18,560
Speaker 1: I want to have a conversation, but I've accepted the

1205
00:55:18,600 --> 00:55:22,759
Speaker 1: apology a long time ago before you even get it. Yes, yes,

1206
00:55:22,840 --> 00:55:26,200
Speaker 1: And that's why I'm able to blossom, and I'm able

1207
00:55:26,280 --> 00:55:29,480
Speaker 1: to continue to move gracefully, and I'm able to be

1208
00:55:29,600 --> 00:55:32,279
Speaker 1: blessed and have a great relationship with God. You know

1209
00:55:32,320 --> 00:55:34,440
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, continue to have a great heart, and

1210
00:55:34,520 --> 00:55:37,520
Speaker 1: to continue to walk on my path and just understand

1211
00:55:37,600 --> 00:55:38,000
Speaker 1: and take.

1212
00:55:37,920 --> 00:55:40,759
Speaker 2: Things for what it is and continue to use your

1213
00:55:40,840 --> 00:55:45,360
Speaker 2: gift because clearly you're not going nowhere, no matter what.

1214
00:55:45,440 --> 00:55:47,600
Speaker 1: Happens, you're not going nowhere exactly. And now I'm in

1215
00:55:47,640 --> 00:55:51,080
Speaker 1: a space where I'm like, I'm I'm like, you know,

1216
00:55:51,239 --> 00:55:53,759
Speaker 1: working with a lot of the new girls coming up,

1217
00:55:54,239 --> 00:55:57,360
Speaker 1: and they're just like it's great because I'm catching them early.

1218
00:55:57,960 --> 00:55:59,480
Speaker 4: So now I can instill in them.

1219
00:56:00,280 --> 00:56:03,560
Speaker 1: You know what wasn't necessarily instilled in me, something I

1220
00:56:03,600 --> 00:56:05,960
Speaker 1: had to like learn myself, Like I said, learned like

1221
00:56:07,239 --> 00:56:09,360
Speaker 1: a little bit of it from you know, Beyonce. Like

1222
00:56:09,640 --> 00:56:11,600
Speaker 1: what I do is I choose to hold on to

1223
00:56:11,719 --> 00:56:14,520
Speaker 1: the positive rather than hold on to the negative. So

1224
00:56:14,640 --> 00:56:18,120
Speaker 1: even though it was way more, way more just like

1225
00:56:18,440 --> 00:56:21,680
Speaker 1: fake woman empowerment, it's just a little tiny bit of Beyonce.

1226
00:56:22,200 --> 00:56:24,360
Speaker 1: Always just carry that little tiny bit beyond.

1227
00:56:25,239 --> 00:56:26,879
Speaker 4: Is a little bit you got the grit you got.

1228
00:56:27,280 --> 00:56:31,080
Speaker 1: What I'm saying is one person, one female showing you

1229
00:56:31,239 --> 00:56:36,600
Speaker 1: love versus a thousand females showing fake woman empowerment that

1230
00:56:36,800 --> 00:56:39,560
Speaker 1: anybody will fold and anybody will get caught up in that.

1231
00:56:40,280 --> 00:56:43,040
Speaker 1: So what I'm saying is I took my Beyonce chunk

1232
00:56:43,520 --> 00:56:46,680
Speaker 1: rather than taking this big ass mountain. You feel what

1233
00:56:46,680 --> 00:56:49,600
Speaker 1: I'm saying, Like, I took this one rock with me.

1234
00:56:50,239 --> 00:56:52,319
Speaker 4: Does she know how much that you she means?

1235
00:56:52,400 --> 00:56:54,040
Speaker 1: This is my first time, this is my first time

1236
00:56:54,640 --> 00:56:56,960
Speaker 1: really expressing it, you know what I'm saying. Like, and

1237
00:56:57,160 --> 00:57:00,239
Speaker 1: every time me and Beyonce like see one another, like

1238
00:57:00,840 --> 00:57:03,920
Speaker 1: it's always like when we're out, but like Beyonce will

1239
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:07,160
Speaker 1: have her securities. Hey, Beyonce wants you like she always

1240
00:57:07,200 --> 00:57:09,680
Speaker 1: makes sure I have like my private time and really

1241
00:57:09,800 --> 00:57:11,239
Speaker 1: just kind of like chop it up.

1242
00:57:11,280 --> 00:57:13,040
Speaker 4: But because I'm an artist myself.

1243
00:57:13,960 --> 00:57:15,640
Speaker 1: I ain't gon for I'm the person where like I

1244
00:57:15,680 --> 00:57:18,160
Speaker 1: don't overstay my welcome, so I know sometime I might

1245
00:57:18,200 --> 00:57:19,920
Speaker 1: come across it's like, oh damn, bitch, you leaving already.

1246
00:57:20,000 --> 00:57:24,240
Speaker 4: But for me, I don't you know like how I

1247
00:57:24,280 --> 00:57:24,960
Speaker 4: want to be treated.

1248
00:57:25,000 --> 00:57:26,800
Speaker 1: On top of that that, but you are still beyonest,

1249
00:57:26,840 --> 00:57:28,280
Speaker 1: Like I'm about to be talking your ear off, like

1250
00:57:28,400 --> 00:57:31,360
Speaker 1: I'm so shy and I'm not a pestifist person like

1251
00:57:31,680 --> 00:57:33,840
Speaker 1: I would think any little thing is being like a pest.

1252
00:57:34,120 --> 00:57:34,840
Speaker 4: You feel what I'm saying.

1253
00:57:34,880 --> 00:57:36,760
Speaker 1: So it's just like she asks me how I'm doing,

1254
00:57:36,840 --> 00:57:39,360
Speaker 1: and like and and we really chopped it up and

1255
00:57:39,440 --> 00:57:41,040
Speaker 1: she she knows everything.

1256
00:57:41,400 --> 00:57:41,960
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying.

1257
00:57:42,200 --> 00:57:44,160
Speaker 1: I love that every time I see she's embracing me

1258
00:57:44,200 --> 00:57:46,640
Speaker 1: about something else that I did, and I'm like, well girl,

1259
00:57:46,680 --> 00:57:48,920
Speaker 1: it was just a little commercial. You feel what I'm saying,

1260
00:57:48,960 --> 00:57:51,080
Speaker 1: But for her it's a big thing. To her, she

1261
00:57:51,160 --> 00:57:53,000
Speaker 1: watched me grow up. You feel what I'm saying. So

1262
00:57:53,120 --> 00:57:55,040
Speaker 1: to go from this fifteen year old girl she meant

1263
00:57:55,080 --> 00:57:57,840
Speaker 1: to a mother or wife and you know, like she's

1264
00:57:58,200 --> 00:58:01,520
Speaker 1: really proud of that. So, like I said, carrying that one,

1265
00:58:02,320 --> 00:58:05,360
Speaker 1: that one rock with me has played a big part

1266
00:58:05,480 --> 00:58:07,080
Speaker 1: beside my mom. And you know, the other woman in

1267
00:58:07,120 --> 00:58:09,120
Speaker 1: my life played a big part in my grace and

1268
00:58:09,200 --> 00:58:11,040
Speaker 1: how I moved in the industry. Like she taught me

1269
00:58:11,120 --> 00:58:14,000
Speaker 1: to invest in myself. Like when I went to a concert,

1270
00:58:14,440 --> 00:58:16,200
Speaker 1: she had a whole bunch of meat and Greece to do,

1271
00:58:16,600 --> 00:58:17,960
Speaker 1: but she really took out the time and it was

1272
00:58:18,040 --> 00:58:20,920
Speaker 1: just like yo, tea, like I see how you perform.

1273
00:58:21,040 --> 00:58:23,800
Speaker 1: You feel what I'm saying, Like it's okay to invest

1274
00:58:23,880 --> 00:58:26,120
Speaker 1: in yourself, And I take out my own money and

1275
00:58:26,200 --> 00:58:28,800
Speaker 1: da da da. From there, you couldn't tell me nothing

1276
00:58:28,840 --> 00:58:30,720
Speaker 1: about my performances. I put whatever I needed to put

1277
00:58:30,760 --> 00:58:32,240
Speaker 1: into my performances.

1278
00:58:32,360 --> 00:58:34,200
Speaker 4: And even she just like whatever you need call me.

1279
00:58:35,040 --> 00:58:39,160
Speaker 1: I'm never gonna call you. Feel mean, like I'm just

1280
00:58:39,280 --> 00:58:41,720
Speaker 1: not gonna do that. You feel me. And I hope

1281
00:58:41,800 --> 00:58:46,360
Speaker 1: she knows the rock that she has, how much she's

1282
00:58:46,400 --> 00:58:48,800
Speaker 1: been a rock throughout my career.

1283
00:58:49,400 --> 00:58:51,720
Speaker 4: Oscars who will come back after the Oscars.

1284
00:58:54,320 --> 00:58:56,760
Speaker 1: An ego yes, why not?

1285
00:58:57,160 --> 00:58:59,400
Speaker 4: If not you, then who I need all the trophies.

1286
00:59:00,040 --> 00:59:02,240
Speaker 4: But I'm just I'm grateful for even a nomination.

1287
00:59:02,400 --> 00:59:05,080
Speaker 1: I just love that she hasn't lost any of that.

1288
00:59:07,120 --> 00:59:09,200
Speaker 1: Get this nomination, I'm done with that.

1289
00:59:09,320 --> 00:59:10,200
Speaker 3: But yeah, we're gonna claim it.

1290
00:59:10,200 --> 00:59:12,400
Speaker 1: We're gonna manifest all the gold he got.

1291
00:59:13,040 --> 00:59:15,240
Speaker 2: Thank you to our guest the Future you got winner,

1292
00:59:15,400 --> 00:59:16,600
Speaker 2: Tianna Taylor, Thank you.

1293
00:59:16,680 --> 00:59:19,520
Speaker 1: Love h