WEBVTT - Rachel Kirkconnell Breaks Silence on Matt James 0:00:02.560 --> 0:00:03.079 Hey, folks. 0:00:03.080 --> 0:00:06.400 In this episode, Matt James announced his breakup with Rachel 0:00:06.600 --> 0:00:11.720 Kirconnell in a forty nine word Instagram post. She has 0:00:11.760 --> 0:00:14.360 now responded and with a whole lot more than forty 0:00:14.440 --> 0:00:16.480 nine words and with that, welcome to Amy and TJ. 0:00:16.880 --> 0:00:19.840 More than forty nine words robes And I was not 0:00:20.040 --> 0:00:23.279 about to count how many she actually said, because she 0:00:23.360 --> 0:00:26.040 did this. Her response was in a one and a 0:00:26.200 --> 0:00:27.600 half hour interview. 0:00:27.960 --> 0:00:29.880 Yeah, it took a while to get through and it 0:00:29.920 --> 0:00:32.360 was hard to listen to in a lot of moments, 0:00:32.360 --> 0:00:36.240 but yes, Rachel Kirkconnell decided to go to the Call 0:00:36.280 --> 0:00:39.279 Her Daddy podcast. She spoke at length about the breakup 0:00:39.320 --> 0:00:43.200 with Matt, and there were definitely some surprises in there. 0:00:43.240 --> 0:00:46.919 There were some shockers, some head scratchers, and there is 0:00:47.120 --> 0:00:49.920 a lot in there that anyone who is in a 0:00:49.960 --> 0:00:54.600 relationship or who has ever been in a relationship, and 0:00:54.800 --> 0:00:58.080 especially if that relationship ended. Yeah, you can relate to 0:00:58.200 --> 0:01:00.640 a lot of the things that she talks about, and 0:01:00.720 --> 0:01:02.360 we're going to get into all of it, but we 0:01:02.400 --> 0:01:04.800 wanted to go through a list of some of the 0:01:04.800 --> 0:01:08.160 things we learned and what specifically stood out to us. 0:01:08.319 --> 0:01:11.040 Yes, So the headlines here. Yes, she confirmed they broke 0:01:11.120 --> 0:01:15.160 up while on a trip to Japan together and he 0:01:15.200 --> 0:01:18.640 actually broke up with her. She says the morning she 0:01:19.160 --> 0:01:21.720 was slated to lee, they weren't taking the same flight 0:01:21.840 --> 0:01:25.000 back she was leaving that morning, broke up and then 0:01:25.000 --> 0:01:26.600 sent her on her way to the airport. Is how 0:01:26.640 --> 0:01:29.240 she describes it. Also, according to Rachel, everything had been 0:01:29.319 --> 0:01:32.080 fined the day before the breakup. She says he did 0:01:32.200 --> 0:01:35.080 not give her heads up before he announced they're split 0:01:35.160 --> 0:01:35.960 on social media. 0:01:36.120 --> 0:01:38.800 Yeah, she talked about how there wasn't some big argument 0:01:38.920 --> 0:01:42.600 or some big fight. They just she had been grumpy 0:01:42.640 --> 0:01:45.880 and perhaps he was two and they just were irritated 0:01:45.880 --> 0:01:48.279 with each other. That's kind of what she had said. 0:01:48.360 --> 0:01:50.720 But she said he did not give her a heads 0:01:50.760 --> 0:01:54.560 up when she left for the airport. She had no 0:01:54.680 --> 0:01:56.480 idea that he was going to make any kind of 0:01:56.480 --> 0:01:59.640 an announcement on social media about her split. And she 0:01:59.680 --> 0:02:02.720 said break up post that he posted that we all 0:02:02.760 --> 0:02:08.320 saw about six am on January sixteenth. She said that 0:02:08.320 --> 0:02:11.640 that came just about two hours after he broke up 0:02:11.639 --> 0:02:14.520 with her, And so she says she was already blindsided. 0:02:14.560 --> 0:02:18.720 She was already shocked and then was actually seated on 0:02:18.720 --> 0:02:21.239 the plane when she was alerted to the social media post. 0:02:21.400 --> 0:02:24.160 She also said he actually apologized later for the post. 0:02:24.200 --> 0:02:27.480 Another headline, there's nothing to the rumors of infidelity. Also, 0:02:27.960 --> 0:02:31.200 she does not think there is any chance they'll get 0:02:31.240 --> 0:02:33.359 back together. There was just a few of the headlines. Again, 0:02:33.400 --> 0:02:36.400 this was an hour and thirty minute plus interviews, so 0:02:36.440 --> 0:02:38.360 a lot of stuff jumped out. No, most people won't 0:02:38.400 --> 0:02:40.440 probably take the time to listen. You'll read a lot 0:02:40.440 --> 0:02:42.160 of headlines, So we're trying to get through some of 0:02:42.200 --> 0:02:45.480 those for you with a little more perspective than a 0:02:45.480 --> 0:02:47.760 lot of what we've already seen out there. And look, 0:02:47.800 --> 0:02:50.120 the initial reaction rose. These two have been together for 0:02:50.160 --> 0:02:52.639 four plus years, got together on The Bachelor back in 0:02:52.680 --> 0:02:54.519 twenty twenty one. During that season, he was the first 0:02:54.560 --> 0:02:57.080 black bachelor. They had controversy and whatnot in their season. 0:02:57.120 --> 0:02:59.920 But still this came as a shocker to everybody that 0:03:00.000 --> 0:03:02.200 they broke up. Seems like it came to it as 0:03:02.200 --> 0:03:04.680 a shock to her too, But I was also shocked 0:03:04.680 --> 0:03:06.760 that she came out did an hour and a half interview. 0:03:07.040 --> 0:03:09.600 Yeah, there are a lot of things that are puzzling, 0:03:09.680 --> 0:03:12.880 and look, it's one of those things where they started 0:03:12.960 --> 0:03:16.120 out their relationship in a very public way on a 0:03:16.120 --> 0:03:19.000 reality show, and so they've been a public couple the 0:03:19.160 --> 0:03:21.480 entire time, and a big part of what Matt does 0:03:21.520 --> 0:03:25.280 for a living he's a food influencer, is going places 0:03:25.280 --> 0:03:28.360 with Rachel and showing these fun, cute videos of them 0:03:28.400 --> 0:03:31.160 having a blast at dinner. In fact, that was the 0:03:31.240 --> 0:03:33.160 other thing that was puzzling to so many people. He 0:03:33.200 --> 0:03:36.480 had posted twelve hours earlier before the breakup post them 0:03:36.560 --> 0:03:38.440 having fun in London, which is where they were right 0:03:38.480 --> 0:03:42.720 before they went to Tokyo and eating pizza and laughing 0:03:42.760 --> 0:03:46.520 and joking. So everything seemed fine. So we were all 0:03:46.560 --> 0:03:50.240 blind sided. And then Rachel now says that she was too, 0:03:50.360 --> 0:03:52.400 And I think that was one of the big headlines 0:03:52.440 --> 0:03:55.680 because she claims she didn't see it coming. She claims 0:03:55.880 --> 0:03:58.000 he had asked her to start looking at rings. She 0:03:58.160 --> 0:04:01.320 thought they were headed to marriage and having babies and 0:04:01.360 --> 0:04:04.520 picking out a wedding dress. So she very much, and 0:04:04.560 --> 0:04:07.680 you could see and hear in her voice there was 0:04:07.760 --> 0:04:10.840 real genuine emotion and you can tell she's she's still 0:04:10.840 --> 0:04:11.360 in shock. 0:04:12.400 --> 0:04:14.480 It's possible he's in shock as well, because she said 0:04:14.480 --> 0:04:17.919 it so herself during this interview that she does not 0:04:18.120 --> 0:04:21.479 believe he planned to break up with her either. She 0:04:21.680 --> 0:04:24.120 does not believe if we go through with the breakup 0:04:24.160 --> 0:04:26.640 details here and you were talking about they were had 0:04:26.680 --> 0:04:31.240 been in London, decided to fly to Tokyo, decided to 0:04:31.279 --> 0:04:34.800 go to Japan, they said, had travel vouchers say hey, 0:04:34.839 --> 0:04:36.320 we need to use these before the end of the year. 0:04:36.400 --> 0:04:38.560 That's really how this all came about. So they're hanging 0:04:38.600 --> 0:04:41.240 out there and look, she said, they've been together for 0:04:41.279 --> 0:04:44.360 three weeks pretty much, traveling and people start to get 0:04:44.400 --> 0:04:44.920 on your nerves. 0:04:45.080 --> 0:04:46.720 We don't have that issue, thank. 0:04:46.520 --> 0:04:49.680 God, thank god, because we're together every single moment of 0:04:49.760 --> 0:04:50.920 every single day. 0:04:51.120 --> 0:04:53.880 So we have problems. That ain't one of them. 0:04:54.200 --> 0:04:56.280 But she said, look, we were on edge a little bit. 0:04:56.360 --> 0:05:00.040 So they're hanging out and there's one night there in 0:05:00.400 --> 0:05:02.240 that started all. This is the night before the breakup, 0:05:02.560 --> 0:05:03.640 she claimed that. 0:05:05.080 --> 0:05:06.800 She and she says, it's on our period, it's on 0:05:06.839 --> 0:05:07.320 my period. 0:05:07.440 --> 0:05:09.800 I was having a rough few hours. I was emotional. 0:05:10.080 --> 0:05:11.640 All these things were going I was trying to she 0:05:11.680 --> 0:05:16.560 felt the pressure of finding a right restaurant. All has happened. 0:05:16.880 --> 0:05:19.120 They go and sure enow, she says, she starts crying 0:05:19.560 --> 0:05:23.520 at dinner. Now, any guy, any anybody out there who 0:05:23.520 --> 0:05:26.080 has been around enough women in your life, sometimes you 0:05:26.120 --> 0:05:28.119 go to a dinner and tears start falling. 0:05:28.160 --> 0:05:29.160 You actually don't know why. 0:05:29.720 --> 0:05:31.800 And so many women can relate because we have all 0:05:31.839 --> 0:05:34.520 of these emotions that we are embarrassed or maybe don't 0:05:34.520 --> 0:05:36.760 want to share because we know maybe they are irrational 0:05:36.800 --> 0:05:39.640 because we are on our periods or whatever. But sometimes 0:05:39.680 --> 0:05:42.760 you can't help how you feel and you're trying not 0:05:42.960 --> 0:05:45.320 to react in a certain way. So there was a 0:05:45.360 --> 0:05:47.120 lot of silence at the dinner, she said, they didn't 0:05:47.120 --> 0:05:47.840 really speak well. 0:05:47.839 --> 0:05:49.880 As crazy as that sound, we were talking about a 0:05:49.880 --> 0:05:51.920 breakup of a relationship We've watched for four years. You 0:05:52.000 --> 0:05:54.720 and I have watched up close, because that is someone 0:05:55.040 --> 0:05:57.200 I can send her a close friend of mine. He 0:05:57.360 --> 0:05:59.160 is a guy, and this is a relationship that has 0:05:59.200 --> 0:06:05.080 now ended because because as I hear it, it's a 0:06:05.080 --> 0:06:06.720 couple of tears. She said, it was one or two, 0:06:07.200 --> 0:06:09.400 That's how she described it. It's set off a whole 0:06:09.480 --> 0:06:11.600 chain of events that I think a lot of men 0:06:11.640 --> 0:06:14.239 and women can relate to in that moment, to where 0:06:14.240 --> 0:06:18.200 we as as a man looking you think, what's wrong. 0:06:19.440 --> 0:06:21.440 You think what did I do? You think what can 0:06:21.480 --> 0:06:24.920 I help? And then you hear some of the reasons 0:06:24.920 --> 0:06:26.840 of the logic and the explanation from a woman which 0:06:26.880 --> 0:06:30.080 is oftentimes she can't explain herself, and the reaction from 0:06:30.080 --> 0:06:32.040 a guy, which is not a right one, like what 0:06:32.080 --> 0:06:32.479 the fuck? 0:06:32.720 --> 0:06:34.280 And do I want to spend my life with someone 0:06:34.360 --> 0:06:35.320 who was emotional like this? 0:06:35.440 --> 0:06:36.320 Don't want to go that far? 0:06:36.480 --> 0:06:40.039 Okay, okay, but you look and you think, like, what 0:06:40.080 --> 0:06:43.359 the is wrong? We can't reason through that? And she 0:06:43.480 --> 0:06:46.520 says that set off a whole chain of events that 0:06:46.560 --> 0:06:47.479 has us talking about this. 0:06:47.560 --> 0:06:50.880 Now. Yeah, they did eventually talk when they got back 0:06:50.880 --> 0:06:55.960 to the hotel room, and you know, there had always 0:06:56.080 --> 0:06:59.200 been and there is, and there was this public pressure 0:06:59.200 --> 0:07:02.040 for them to get engaged. He talked about it, and 0:07:02.160 --> 0:07:03.800 he was dragging his feet about it. And I think 0:07:03.800 --> 0:07:06.440 when you have a conversation or you have maybe even 0:07:06.480 --> 0:07:09.640 a motion that feels uncomfortable, and it's maybe not the 0:07:09.640 --> 0:07:13.480 first time this has happened. They started talking about where 0:07:13.520 --> 0:07:18.160 they were headed and what they were doing, and she 0:07:18.320 --> 0:07:21.880 claims he said to her, you know, I'm not sure 0:07:22.240 --> 0:07:26.400 that I'm ready to get married, and I don't want 0:07:26.440 --> 0:07:29.200 you to waste any more time with me. I can't 0:07:29.240 --> 0:07:32.520 give you what you want. I'm not sure you're the 0:07:32.560 --> 0:07:35.640 person I want to have as my wife. 0:07:35.840 --> 0:07:38.360 He said all this to her. After going to bed 0:07:38.400 --> 0:07:40.800 that night, she said everything was fine. She actually said 0:07:40.920 --> 0:07:43.280 we were chill, we were okay. Yes, we didn't talk 0:07:43.320 --> 0:07:45.080 a lot, but she went to bed that night not 0:07:45.120 --> 0:07:47.160 thinking her relationship was on the rocks, and sure enough 0:07:47.200 --> 0:07:49.560 the next morning, as you described now, isn't that what 0:07:50.680 --> 0:07:52.960 everybody wants to hear? I guess what we're talking about now. 0:07:53.000 --> 0:07:55.280 We haven't gotten into the point that she's so upset 0:07:55.320 --> 0:07:57.120 with Matt yet. I think some on the outside and 0:07:57.280 --> 0:07:59.160 I wrote down when you said it dragging his feet. 0:07:59.160 --> 0:08:01.040 We're going to get back to that in a second. 0:08:03.000 --> 0:08:06.560 But her problem with him is not necessarily that he 0:08:06.720 --> 0:08:10.880 was dragging his feet quote unquote, but what happened when 0:08:10.880 --> 0:08:13.880 he put out a post that didn't give her a 0:08:13.920 --> 0:08:19.480 heads up about what was coming that the breakup. Announcing 0:08:19.480 --> 0:08:22.280 the breakup was not something they decided to do together, 0:08:22.840 --> 0:08:25.800 and she's taking issue with that. If a guy says 0:08:25.800 --> 0:08:27.800 to you, hey, I'm sorry, I don't want to waste 0:08:27.800 --> 0:08:29.320 any more of your time, and I think we need 0:08:29.360 --> 0:08:33.800 to break up. I have on more than one occasion 0:08:33.800 --> 0:08:38.839 done that exact same thing. And do they someone appreciated, Yes, 0:08:38.880 --> 0:08:43.040 you want to know sooner than later. But the criticism 0:08:43.040 --> 0:08:45.680 you've seem more publicly than I have. But the criticism 0:08:45.720 --> 0:08:48.439 there is some criticism for that particular thing, is there not? 0:08:48.559 --> 0:08:51.439 Oh, there's a huge amount of criticism over that, because 0:08:52.160 --> 0:08:55.160 you know, give it a beat. And I really and 0:08:55.200 --> 0:08:58.920 he has apologized for it to only take two hours. 0:08:59.000 --> 0:09:01.160 And also to know she was getting on a plane 0:09:01.200 --> 0:09:03.200 and she said, this is a problem she's had and 0:09:03.320 --> 0:09:06.760 Matt knew about it. For whatever reason, her iPhone doesn't 0:09:06.800 --> 0:09:09.920 connect with plane WiFi, so maybe he thought she had 0:09:09.920 --> 0:09:12.600 already gotten She had gotten on the plane, but she 0:09:12.679 --> 0:09:15.240 got a heads up from a friend who texted her 0:09:15.240 --> 0:09:19.040 and said basically referring to his post. And Rachel was like, 0:09:19.080 --> 0:09:21.240 what do you How does anyone know that we just 0:09:21.280 --> 0:09:23.320 broke up? How would my friend know that we just 0:09:23.360 --> 0:09:26.079 broke up? And so right as her plane was taxiing, 0:09:26.480 --> 0:09:29.120 she sees the post and then for twelve hours she 0:09:29.240 --> 0:09:32.720 had no way to communicate with anyone or to see 0:09:32.760 --> 0:09:35.480 what was happening. And that had to be really awful. 0:09:35.520 --> 0:09:38.080 I think a lot of people are putting themselves in 0:09:38.080 --> 0:09:40.320 her shoes and imagining how awful that is. Maybe Matt 0:09:40.400 --> 0:09:43.880 didn't know that would have happened, didn't realize, But to 0:09:44.000 --> 0:09:46.040 do that without giving her a text a heads up, 0:09:46.080 --> 0:09:48.720 Hey do you mind if I post this? Or I 0:09:48.760 --> 0:09:51.840 really want this to be on the record at this point, 0:09:51.880 --> 0:09:53.960 I want to be transparent, just to at least have 0:09:54.040 --> 0:09:56.480 let her know what was happening, I think, to not 0:09:56.640 --> 0:09:58.720 tell her to do it, and for her not to 0:09:58.760 --> 0:10:01.640 have the time to tell her friends, her family, let 0:10:01.679 --> 0:10:05.400 alone process it. I get why people are upset for 0:10:05.480 --> 0:10:06.320 her about that. 0:10:06.480 --> 0:10:09.360 She said it was two to three hours after she 0:10:09.920 --> 0:10:13.679 found out that she the man that she planned to 0:10:13.720 --> 0:10:17.600 marry and have kids with. She just found out that 0:10:17.760 --> 0:10:20.640 was over, and then the world knew it before she 0:10:20.679 --> 0:10:21.280 could process it. 0:10:21.320 --> 0:10:22.040 That's that's tough. 0:10:22.120 --> 0:10:26.680 That's tough, and I think that this may This is 0:10:26.679 --> 0:10:30.120 where my head goes to. You're thinking, you know, yes, 0:10:30.200 --> 0:10:32.600 you broke up, and people break up and get back together. 0:10:32.679 --> 0:10:37.320 People say things sometimes when they're upset, tired, they've been traveling, 0:10:37.400 --> 0:10:39.640 they were on each other's nerves, and then twenty four 0:10:39.640 --> 0:10:42.960 hours later think, you know what, actually you know, can 0:10:43.000 --> 0:10:46.319 we talk more about this? It just he put a 0:10:46.400 --> 0:10:50.400 finality to it that maybe she needed more time to 0:10:50.480 --> 0:10:52.640 get to You know, people say things in the heat 0:10:52.679 --> 0:10:56.000 of the moment. People say things, and then you decide 0:10:56.240 --> 0:10:58.440 a day later, two days later, a week later, that 0:10:58.559 --> 0:11:01.400 maybe that isn't what you want. And I'm not saying 0:11:01.400 --> 0:11:02.840 that would have been the case, but I think that 0:11:02.920 --> 0:11:09.800 also is a part of it that really cemented the breakup. 0:11:10.400 --> 0:11:13.640 And I don't know, and I'll say here, I haven't 0:11:13.840 --> 0:11:16.920 had a chance to talk to Matt yet. I understand where, 0:11:18.200 --> 0:11:21.040 maybe understand more than most where Matt might be when 0:11:21.040 --> 0:11:24.160 it comes to dealing with this publicly and why he 0:11:24.280 --> 0:11:26.360 might be a little quiet, might be in hiding and 0:11:26.400 --> 0:11:27.880 doesn't want to say a whole lot. But I can 0:11:27.880 --> 0:11:30.320 only imagine what he's going through now. Nobody wants to 0:11:30.920 --> 0:11:33.560 hear or think about his side of the story and 0:11:33.559 --> 0:11:35.360 what he may have been going through. But it's a 0:11:35.360 --> 0:11:37.439 matter I can't imagine. We know this guy pretty well 0:11:37.800 --> 0:11:42.160 where his head was to do it so quickly. According 0:11:42.160 --> 0:11:44.960 to her, they have talked since he did apologize and 0:11:44.960 --> 0:11:47.880 say he didn't handle that well. Okay, that makes sense, 0:11:49.160 --> 0:11:51.520 but what at the same time, we know this is 0:11:51.559 --> 0:11:54.600 a woman he planned to marry. This is a woman 0:11:54.679 --> 0:11:57.640 he saw himself having kids with. This is a woman 0:11:57.679 --> 0:12:02.400 that he went through a public trauma with and fighting 0:12:02.440 --> 0:12:05.520 for their relationship. Remember they broke up right after The 0:12:05.559 --> 0:12:07.600 Bachelor because of all that back and forth with her 0:12:07.640 --> 0:12:11.079 in the controversy. So to see them overcome and be together, 0:12:11.160 --> 0:12:12.600 I think a lot of people were rooting for them. 0:12:12.600 --> 0:12:17.319 But she said in that conversation when they decided they 0:12:17.360 --> 0:12:19.400 they decided they were going to go their separate ways. 0:12:19.400 --> 0:12:22.280 It wasn't just him saying no, but she acknowledged a well, 0:12:22.320 --> 0:12:24.680 and they decided according to her, but it was a 0:12:24.720 --> 0:12:25.400 matter of go ahead. 0:12:25.480 --> 0:12:28.920 You think she she didn't want this breakup. She wanted 0:12:28.920 --> 0:12:29.520 to marry him. 0:12:29.679 --> 0:12:29.839 Yes. 0:12:29.920 --> 0:12:33.560 I think when she heard him say you're not the 0:12:33.640 --> 0:12:37.240 person who I think I want as my wife, then 0:12:37.280 --> 0:12:40.680 she basically just acquiesced and said, Okay, I mean, what 0:12:40.760 --> 0:12:43.640 else do you say? So I don't feel like they 0:12:43.679 --> 0:12:46.720 broke up together or that they decided together he broke 0:12:46.760 --> 0:12:48.200 up with her and she accepted it. 0:12:48.480 --> 0:12:50.440 See I yes, to. 0:12:50.400 --> 0:12:53.720 Your point in what you're saying, I say he wanted 0:12:53.720 --> 0:12:57.000 to marry her too. He wanted to marry this woman. 0:12:57.720 --> 0:13:00.280 Somebody comes to realization, how many times have you a 0:13:00.280 --> 0:13:02.920 relationship or everybody has You've ended a relationship with somebody 0:13:03.000 --> 0:13:04.800 then you didn't want it to end, but you knew 0:13:04.840 --> 0:13:07.240 it needed to, or you knew it was the right 0:13:07.240 --> 0:13:07.760 thing to do. 0:13:08.200 --> 0:13:09.480 I am. 0:13:09.600 --> 0:13:12.280 And again, this will come off as just defending Matt, 0:13:12.600 --> 0:13:14.760 and I will defend Matt. But I can defend Matt 0:13:14.800 --> 0:13:18.440 without shitting on Rachel. I can defend him and have 0:13:18.640 --> 0:13:21.080 my heart go out to him without taking any way 0:13:21.200 --> 0:13:23.960 anything away from her experience. And if Matt was in 0:13:23.960 --> 0:13:25.600 front of me right now, I said, damn, bro, what 0:13:25.640 --> 0:13:27.000 were you thinking with that post? 0:13:27.040 --> 0:13:28.360 Why did you give it a beat? And he might 0:13:28.400 --> 0:13:30.000 have an answer. I'm like, Okay, I get it. 0:13:30.160 --> 0:13:32.760 That was a tough thing to do. So for him 0:13:32.800 --> 0:13:36.120 to come to a realization that hey, I don't want 0:13:36.160 --> 0:13:38.480 to waste any more of your time and I'm not 0:13:38.520 --> 0:13:42.440 going to be able to go through with this, she 0:13:43.360 --> 0:13:46.920 where's the quote here? He said that maybe one day 0:13:47.040 --> 0:13:49.439 he would get there, but he doesn't feel ready now. 0:13:49.480 --> 0:13:51.960 And I told him, well, after four years, you should 0:13:52.080 --> 0:13:54.800 know or you should feel ready, and if you don't, 0:13:55.160 --> 0:13:57.840 that's a good thing. We probably should be together. If 0:13:57.880 --> 0:14:00.200 you don't feel like that after four years, And let 0:14:00.240 --> 0:14:02.880 me get that right, she said, we probably shouldn't be 0:14:02.920 --> 0:14:06.320 together if you don't feel like that after four years, 0:14:07.040 --> 0:14:09.160 because you know me better than anyone. I know you 0:14:09.240 --> 0:14:12.160 better than anyone, so you should know by now if 0:14:12.160 --> 0:14:16.120 you see this for the long haul or not. To 0:14:16.200 --> 0:14:20.240 your point, yes, she didn't say, hey, we need to 0:14:20.240 --> 0:14:23.560 break up, but after hearing him she said, yep, I 0:14:23.600 --> 0:14:27.360 can't be with you anymore. After hearing him say that, 0:14:27.760 --> 0:14:30.840 she seems to understand. But yes, to your part, he initiated, 0:14:30.960 --> 0:14:33.720 and we're always looking for somebody to hold responsible in 0:14:33.760 --> 0:14:35.800 these things, right, somebody's got to be somebody's fault, so 0:14:36.360 --> 0:14:38.440 it has to be Matt's fault. And I think she 0:14:38.600 --> 0:14:41.160 did a lot to try to take some heat off 0:14:41.160 --> 0:14:41.400 of him. 0:14:41.440 --> 0:14:42.080 At the end of this. 0:14:42.080 --> 0:14:44.680 Interview, she loves him and I think he loves her, 0:14:54.200 --> 0:14:56.320 and that doesn't mean that you're meant to be together, 0:14:56.360 --> 0:15:01.840 which is really hard to accept sometimes. But I agree 0:15:01.840 --> 0:15:04.680 with you that I think one of the saddest things 0:15:04.680 --> 0:15:07.200 about any kind of public breakup, but will specifically talk 0:15:07.240 --> 0:15:09.640 about this one, is that everyone wants to take sides, 0:15:10.400 --> 0:15:13.320 and isn't that always the problem. Can we not feel 0:15:13.360 --> 0:15:16.840 for them both, send love to them both, and acknowledge 0:15:16.880 --> 0:15:19.760 that they are both hurting and we're both trying to 0:15:21.400 --> 0:15:25.360 follow their hearts and protect the others. And yeah, they 0:15:25.360 --> 0:15:29.680 both made mistakes. They both made mistakes. He shouldn't have 0:15:29.720 --> 0:15:32.680 posted that without discussing it with her first. I firmly 0:15:32.720 --> 0:15:36.000 believe that, and she probably shouldn't have gone on a 0:15:36.040 --> 0:15:38.960 podcast giving every detail. But I think he was trying 0:15:39.000 --> 0:15:41.360 to be transparent and she was trying to set the 0:15:41.360 --> 0:15:43.440 record straight. So I think they might have both had 0:15:43.480 --> 0:15:47.200 good intentions, but now it's gotten messy. 0:15:47.440 --> 0:15:51.520 She spoke about this idea that he did feel pressure. 0:15:51.200 --> 0:15:54.320 He felt She said there was a weight on him 0:15:54.640 --> 0:15:58.800 about the relationship, and I again only our opinions here 0:15:58.840 --> 0:16:02.680 that that had to play into him. He almost feels 0:16:02.760 --> 0:16:04.840 like there is a responsibility to the public as well 0:16:05.280 --> 0:16:06.400 to let people. 0:16:06.080 --> 0:16:07.360 Into your lives so much. 0:16:07.400 --> 0:16:10.160 We do it so often, we live these public lives, 0:16:10.480 --> 0:16:12.160 so then when something happens in your personal life, well 0:16:12.160 --> 0:16:14.320 how many times we criticize. I'm like, damn, dude, we 0:16:14.360 --> 0:16:17.040 didn't need to know that it's this thing that I 0:16:17.200 --> 0:16:20.040 have to feed the public. They need to know they've 0:16:20.040 --> 0:16:22.720 been on an almost obligation, like you. 0:16:22.640 --> 0:16:23.640 Guys have supported me. 0:16:23.800 --> 0:16:26.200 I'm sorry, but I gotta let you know, almost like 0:16:26.280 --> 0:16:29.840 family members. I get but two to three hours hearing 0:16:29.840 --> 0:16:34.720 her describe just not getting the heads up matt oh brother, 0:16:34.800 --> 0:16:36.360 that was a that was a tough one. I need 0:16:36.400 --> 0:16:38.360 to hear from him what he was thinking. And I'm 0:16:38.360 --> 0:16:40.920 not even after I hear it, I might understand it 0:16:40.920 --> 0:16:43.560 a little better. It's hard to see why not giving 0:16:43.560 --> 0:16:45.160 the heads up, say hey, Rachel, I'm gonna do this. 0:16:45.360 --> 0:16:47.040 You don't have a choice in me posting it, but 0:16:47.080 --> 0:16:48.280 I just want to give you a heads up. 0:16:48.320 --> 0:16:49.200 Even that would have been better. 0:16:49.240 --> 0:16:50.640 That would have been better because she could have at 0:16:50.720 --> 0:16:53.720 least told her family, hey, you're about to see something break, 0:16:53.920 --> 0:16:56.000 and I'll tell you when I'm getting on a plane. 0:16:56.920 --> 0:16:59.400 Is she just she was stuck. She had she had 0:16:59.560 --> 0:17:01.640 no one to turn to, no one to lean on, 0:17:02.560 --> 0:17:05.399 and that's tough for that. I cannot imagine what that 0:17:05.440 --> 0:17:08.320 plan ride was like for her. But I want to 0:17:08.320 --> 0:17:12.199 say this, when you're a public couple, you're damned if 0:17:12.240 --> 0:17:15.119 you do and you're damned if you don't. Because we 0:17:15.280 --> 0:17:19.080 learned that not speaking about what's going on can be 0:17:19.359 --> 0:17:23.920 just as messy, if not more messy. But yes, it'd 0:17:23.960 --> 0:17:27.000 be great if Matt and Rachel could have had a strategy. 0:17:27.280 --> 0:17:30.840 But my god, it's personal, it's emotional, it is private, 0:17:30.920 --> 0:17:32.520 and it's the last thing you want to do is 0:17:32.560 --> 0:17:37.399 discuss how to deal with your breakup publicly when you're 0:17:37.440 --> 0:17:40.840 still in shock, you're in mourning, you're emotional. There's so 0:17:40.960 --> 0:17:42.520 much pain, there's so much loss. 0:17:42.880 --> 0:17:44.800 But the other side of that is I gave you 0:17:44.840 --> 0:17:48.960 everything when things were great, right, you feed me, You've 0:17:49.320 --> 0:17:51.760 taught me to come into your life. When you got 0:17:51.760 --> 0:17:54.480 this plan, you're going here, I'm on this trip, But 0:17:54.680 --> 0:17:58.000 now you don't. I mean, it goes both ways. What 0:17:58.160 --> 0:18:01.880 level of privacy do you you should you be afforded 0:18:01.920 --> 0:18:04.080 when you're the very one out there making sure your 0:18:04.119 --> 0:18:07.400 life is not that bride by putting it out there. 0:18:07.440 --> 0:18:09.560 Yeah, I do not know. You know we're trying to 0:18:09.560 --> 0:18:10.400 find that balance. 0:18:10.560 --> 0:18:12.760 Yeah, we are. And I think you have to insulate 0:18:12.800 --> 0:18:15.480 yourself from the comments and just do what you feel 0:18:15.600 --> 0:18:17.399 is right. And maybe you make a bad call and 0:18:17.440 --> 0:18:20.399 you apologize for it, but this is between Matt and 0:18:20.480 --> 0:18:24.879 Rachel and I Look, I was looking at some of 0:18:24.880 --> 0:18:27.040 the comments and I won't read any of the negative ones, 0:18:27.080 --> 0:18:29.280 but some of people were actually really insightful. There was 0:18:29.320 --> 0:18:32.359 one comment where someone said breaking up before social media 0:18:32.480 --> 0:18:36.160 was so much easier, and I agree, but I liked 0:18:36.200 --> 0:18:39.439 this one. You guys get so worked up over people 0:18:39.480 --> 0:18:43.320 you see on TV that have the same relationship problems 0:18:43.359 --> 0:18:46.560 that you do too, and that is the truth. And 0:18:46.640 --> 0:18:50.920 I think people almost are able to watch other people's 0:18:50.960 --> 0:18:54.399 problems and speculate about their issues, and that way they 0:18:54.440 --> 0:18:56.119 don't have to think about their own. And I do 0:18:56.160 --> 0:18:57.919 think we all need to ask ourselves that when we 0:18:57.960 --> 0:19:01.199 get two into the weeds pointing fingers, I think we 0:19:01.200 --> 0:19:03.440 can if you look at this and you read this 0:19:03.560 --> 0:19:06.160 and your heart goes out to both of them and 0:19:07.760 --> 0:19:10.800