1
00:00:02,560 --> 00:00:03,079
Speaker 1: Hey, folks.

2
00:00:03,080 --> 00:00:06,400
Speaker 2: In this episode, Matt James announced his breakup with Rachel

3
00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:11,720
Speaker 2: Kirconnell in a forty nine word Instagram post. She has

4
00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:14,360
Speaker 2: now responded and with a whole lot more than forty

5
00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:16,480
Speaker 2: nine words and with that, welcome to Amy and TJ.

6
00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:19,840
Speaker 2: More than forty nine words robes And I was not

7
00:00:20,040 --> 00:00:23,279
Speaker 2: about to count how many she actually said, because she

8
00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:26,040
Speaker 2: did this. Her response was in a one and a

9
00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:27,600
Speaker 2: half hour interview.

10
00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:29,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, it took a while to get through and it

11
00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:32,360
Speaker 3: was hard to listen to in a lot of moments,

12
00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:36,240
Speaker 3: but yes, Rachel Kirkconnell decided to go to the Call

13
00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:39,279
Speaker 3: Her Daddy podcast. She spoke at length about the breakup

14
00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:43,200
Speaker 3: with Matt, and there were definitely some surprises in there.

15
00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:46,919
Speaker 3: There were some shockers, some head scratchers, and there is

16
00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:49,920
Speaker 3: a lot in there that anyone who is in a

17
00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:54,600
Speaker 3: relationship or who has ever been in a relationship, and

18
00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:58,080
Speaker 3: especially if that relationship ended. Yeah, you can relate to

19
00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:00,640
Speaker 3: a lot of the things that she talks about, and

20
00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:02,360
Speaker 3: we're going to get into all of it, but we

21
00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:04,800
Speaker 3: wanted to go through a list of some of the

22
00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:08,160
Speaker 3: things we learned and what specifically stood out to us.

23
00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:11,040
Speaker 2: Yes, So the headlines here. Yes, she confirmed they broke

24
00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:15,160
Speaker 2: up while on a trip to Japan together and he

25
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:18,640
Speaker 2: actually broke up with her. She says the morning she

26
00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:21,720
Speaker 2: was slated to lee, they weren't taking the same flight

27
00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:25,000
Speaker 2: back she was leaving that morning, broke up and then

28
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:26,600
Speaker 2: sent her on her way to the airport. Is how

29
00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:29,240
Speaker 2: she describes it. Also, according to Rachel, everything had been

30
00:01:29,319 --> 00:01:32,080
Speaker 2: fined the day before the breakup. She says he did

31
00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:35,080
Speaker 2: not give her heads up before he announced they're split

32
00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:35,960
Speaker 2: on social media.

33
00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:38,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, she talked about how there wasn't some big argument

34
00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:42,600
Speaker 3: or some big fight. They just she had been grumpy

35
00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:45,880
Speaker 3: and perhaps he was two and they just were irritated

36
00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:48,279
Speaker 3: with each other. That's kind of what she had said.

37
00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:50,720
Speaker 3: But she said he did not give her a heads

38
00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:54,560
Speaker 3: up when she left for the airport. She had no

39
00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:56,480
Speaker 3: idea that he was going to make any kind of

40
00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:59,640
Speaker 3: an announcement on social media about her split. And she

41
00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:02,720
Speaker 3: said break up post that he posted that we all

42
00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:08,320
Speaker 3: saw about six am on January sixteenth. She said that

43
00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:11,640
Speaker 3: that came just about two hours after he broke up

44
00:02:11,639 --> 00:02:14,520
Speaker 3: with her, And so she says she was already blindsided.

45
00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:18,720
Speaker 3: She was already shocked and then was actually seated on

46
00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:21,239
Speaker 3: the plane when she was alerted to the social media post.

47
00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:24,160
Speaker 2: She also said he actually apologized later for the post.

48
00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:27,480
Speaker 2: Another headline, there's nothing to the rumors of infidelity. Also,

49
00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:31,200
Speaker 2: she does not think there is any chance they'll get

50
00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:33,359
Speaker 2: back together. There was just a few of the headlines. Again,

51
00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:36,400
Speaker 2: this was an hour and thirty minute plus interviews, so

52
00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:38,360
Speaker 2: a lot of stuff jumped out. No, most people won't

53
00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,440
Speaker 2: probably take the time to listen. You'll read a lot

54
00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:42,160
Speaker 2: of headlines, So we're trying to get through some of

55
00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:45,480
Speaker 2: those for you with a little more perspective than a

56
00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:47,760
Speaker 2: lot of what we've already seen out there. And look,

57
00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:50,120
Speaker 2: the initial reaction rose. These two have been together for

58
00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:52,639
Speaker 2: four plus years, got together on The Bachelor back in

59
00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:54,519
Speaker 2: twenty twenty one. During that season, he was the first

60
00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:57,080
Speaker 2: black bachelor. They had controversy and whatnot in their season.

61
00:02:57,120 --> 00:02:59,920
Speaker 2: But still this came as a shocker to everybody that

62
00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,200
Speaker 2: they broke up. Seems like it came to it as

63
00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:04,680
Speaker 2: a shock to her too, But I was also shocked

64
00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:06,760
Speaker 2: that she came out did an hour and a half interview.

65
00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:09,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, there are a lot of things that are puzzling,

66
00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:12,880
Speaker 3: and look, it's one of those things where they started

67
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:16,120
Speaker 3: out their relationship in a very public way on a

68
00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:19,000
Speaker 3: reality show, and so they've been a public couple the

69
00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:21,480
Speaker 3: entire time, and a big part of what Matt does

70
00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:25,280
Speaker 3: for a living he's a food influencer, is going places

71
00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:28,360
Speaker 3: with Rachel and showing these fun, cute videos of them

72
00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:31,160
Speaker 3: having a blast at dinner. In fact, that was the

73
00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:33,160
Speaker 3: other thing that was puzzling to so many people. He

74
00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:36,480
Speaker 3: had posted twelve hours earlier before the breakup post them

75
00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:38,440
Speaker 3: having fun in London, which is where they were right

76
00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:42,720
Speaker 3: before they went to Tokyo and eating pizza and laughing

77
00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:46,520
Speaker 3: and joking. So everything seemed fine. So we were all

78
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:50,240
Speaker 3: blind sided. And then Rachel now says that she was too,

79
00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:52,400
Speaker 3: And I think that was one of the big headlines

80
00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:55,680
Speaker 3: because she claims she didn't see it coming. She claims

81
00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:58,000
Speaker 3: he had asked her to start looking at rings. She

82
00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:01,320
Speaker 3: thought they were headed to marriage and having babies and

83
00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:04,520
Speaker 3: picking out a wedding dress. So she very much, and

84
00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:07,680
Speaker 3: you could see and hear in her voice there was

85
00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:10,840
Speaker 3: real genuine emotion and you can tell she's she's still

86
00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:11,360
Speaker 3: in shock.

87
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:14,480
Speaker 2: It's possible he's in shock as well, because she said

88
00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:17,919
Speaker 2: it so herself during this interview that she does not

89
00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:21,479
Speaker 2: believe he planned to break up with her either. She

90
00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:24,120
Speaker 2: does not believe if we go through with the breakup

91
00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:26,640
Speaker 2: details here and you were talking about they were had

92
00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:31,240
Speaker 2: been in London, decided to fly to Tokyo, decided to

93
00:04:31,279 --> 00:04:34,800
Speaker 2: go to Japan, they said, had travel vouchers say hey,

94
00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:36,320
Speaker 2: we need to use these before the end of the year.

95
00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:38,560
Speaker 2: That's really how this all came about. So they're hanging

96
00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:41,240
Speaker 2: out there and look, she said, they've been together for

97
00:04:41,279 --> 00:04:44,360
Speaker 2: three weeks pretty much, traveling and people start to get

98
00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:44,920
Speaker 2: on your nerves.

99
00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:46,720
Speaker 1: We don't have that issue, thank.

100
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:49,680
Speaker 3: God, thank god, because we're together every single moment of

101
00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:50,920
Speaker 3: every single day.

102
00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:53,880
Speaker 1: So we have problems. That ain't one of them.

103
00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:56,280
Speaker 2: But she said, look, we were on edge a little bit.

104
00:04:56,360 --> 00:05:00,040
Speaker 2: So they're hanging out and there's one night there in

105
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,240
Speaker 2: that started all. This is the night before the breakup,

106
00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:03,640
Speaker 2: she claimed that.

107
00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:06,800
Speaker 3: She and she says, it's on our period, it's on

108
00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:07,320
Speaker 3: my period.

109
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:09,800
Speaker 1: I was having a rough few hours. I was emotional.

110
00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:11,640
Speaker 2: All these things were going I was trying to she

111
00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:16,560
Speaker 2: felt the pressure of finding a right restaurant. All has happened.

112
00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:19,120
Speaker 2: They go and sure enow, she says, she starts crying

113
00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:23,520
Speaker 2: at dinner. Now, any guy, any anybody out there who

114
00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:26,080
Speaker 2: has been around enough women in your life, sometimes you

115
00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:28,119
Speaker 2: go to a dinner and tears start falling.

116
00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:29,160
Speaker 1: You actually don't know why.

117
00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:31,800
Speaker 3: And so many women can relate because we have all

118
00:05:31,839 --> 00:05:34,520
Speaker 3: of these emotions that we are embarrassed or maybe don't

119
00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:36,760
Speaker 3: want to share because we know maybe they are irrational

120
00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:39,640
Speaker 3: because we are on our periods or whatever. But sometimes

121
00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:42,760
Speaker 3: you can't help how you feel and you're trying not

122
00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:45,320
Speaker 3: to react in a certain way. So there was a

123
00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:47,120
Speaker 3: lot of silence at the dinner, she said, they didn't

124
00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:47,840
Speaker 3: really speak well.

125
00:05:47,839 --> 00:05:49,880
Speaker 2: As crazy as that sound, we were talking about a

126
00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:51,920
Speaker 2: breakup of a relationship We've watched for four years. You

127
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:54,720
Speaker 2: and I have watched up close, because that is someone

128
00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:57,200
Speaker 2: I can send her a close friend of mine. He

129
00:05:57,360 --> 00:05:59,160
Speaker 2: is a guy, and this is a relationship that has

130
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:05,080
Speaker 2: now ended because because as I hear it, it's a

131
00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:06,720
Speaker 2: couple of tears. She said, it was one or two,

132
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,400
Speaker 2: That's how she described it. It's set off a whole

133
00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:11,600
Speaker 2: chain of events that I think a lot of men

134
00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:14,239
Speaker 2: and women can relate to in that moment, to where

135
00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:18,200
Speaker 2: we as as a man looking you think, what's wrong.

136
00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:21,440
Speaker 2: You think what did I do? You think what can

137
00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:24,920
Speaker 2: I help? And then you hear some of the reasons

138
00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:26,840
Speaker 2: of the logic and the explanation from a woman which

139
00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:30,080
Speaker 2: is oftentimes she can't explain herself, and the reaction from

140
00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:32,040
Speaker 2: a guy, which is not a right one, like what

141
00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:32,479
Speaker 2: the fuck?

142
00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:34,280
Speaker 3: And do I want to spend my life with someone

143
00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:35,320
Speaker 3: who was emotional like this?

144
00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:36,320
Speaker 1: Don't want to go that far?

145
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:40,039
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, but you look and you think, like, what

146
00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:43,359
Speaker 2: the is wrong? We can't reason through that? And she

147
00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:46,520
Speaker 2: says that set off a whole chain of events that

148
00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:47,479
Speaker 2: has us talking about this.

149
00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:50,880
Speaker 3: Now. Yeah, they did eventually talk when they got back

150
00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:55,960
Speaker 3: to the hotel room, and you know, there had always

151
00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:59,200
Speaker 3: been and there is, and there was this public pressure

152
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:02,040
Speaker 3: for them to get engaged. He talked about it, and

153
00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:03,800
Speaker 3: he was dragging his feet about it. And I think

154
00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:06,440
Speaker 3: when you have a conversation or you have maybe even

155
00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:09,640
Speaker 3: a motion that feels uncomfortable, and it's maybe not the

156
00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:13,480
Speaker 3: first time this has happened. They started talking about where

157
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:18,160
Speaker 3: they were headed and what they were doing, and she

158
00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:21,880
Speaker 3: claims he said to her, you know, I'm not sure

159
00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:26,400
Speaker 3: that I'm ready to get married, and I don't want

160
00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:29,200
Speaker 3: you to waste any more time with me. I can't

161
00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:32,520
Speaker 3: give you what you want. I'm not sure you're the

162
00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:35,640
Speaker 3: person I want to have as my wife.

163
00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:38,360
Speaker 2: He said all this to her. After going to bed

164
00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:40,800
Speaker 2: that night, she said everything was fine. She actually said

165
00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:43,280
Speaker 2: we were chill, we were okay. Yes, we didn't talk

166
00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:45,080
Speaker 2: a lot, but she went to bed that night not

167
00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:47,160
Speaker 2: thinking her relationship was on the rocks, and sure enough

168
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,560
Speaker 2: the next morning, as you described now, isn't that what

169
00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:52,960
Speaker 2: everybody wants to hear? I guess what we're talking about now.

170
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:55,280
Speaker 2: We haven't gotten into the point that she's so upset

171
00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:57,120
Speaker 2: with Matt yet. I think some on the outside and

172
00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:59,160
Speaker 2: I wrote down when you said it dragging his feet.

173
00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:01,040
Speaker 2: We're going to get back to that in a second.

174
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:06,560
Speaker 2: But her problem with him is not necessarily that he

175
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:10,880
Speaker 2: was dragging his feet quote unquote, but what happened when

176
00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:13,880
Speaker 2: he put out a post that didn't give her a

177
00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:19,480
Speaker 2: heads up about what was coming that the breakup. Announcing

178
00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:22,280
Speaker 2: the breakup was not something they decided to do together,

179
00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:25,800
Speaker 2: and she's taking issue with that. If a guy says

180
00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:27,800
Speaker 2: to you, hey, I'm sorry, I don't want to waste

181
00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:29,320
Speaker 2: any more of your time, and I think we need

182
00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:33,800
Speaker 2: to break up. I have on more than one occasion

183
00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:38,839
Speaker 2: done that exact same thing. And do they someone appreciated, Yes,

184
00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:43,040
Speaker 2: you want to know sooner than later. But the criticism

185
00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:45,680
Speaker 2: you've seem more publicly than I have. But the criticism

186
00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:48,439
Speaker 2: there is some criticism for that particular thing, is there not?

187
00:08:48,559 --> 00:08:51,439
Speaker 3: Oh, there's a huge amount of criticism over that, because

188
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:55,160
Speaker 3: you know, give it a beat. And I really and

189
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:58,920
Speaker 3: he has apologized for it to only take two hours.

190
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:01,160
Speaker 3: And also to know she was getting on a plane

191
00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:03,200
Speaker 3: and she said, this is a problem she's had and

192
00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:06,760
Speaker 3: Matt knew about it. For whatever reason, her iPhone doesn't

193
00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:09,920
Speaker 3: connect with plane WiFi, so maybe he thought she had

194
00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:12,600
Speaker 3: already gotten She had gotten on the plane, but she

195
00:09:12,679 --> 00:09:15,240
Speaker 3: got a heads up from a friend who texted her

196
00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:19,040
Speaker 3: and said basically referring to his post. And Rachel was like,

197
00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:21,240
Speaker 3: what do you How does anyone know that we just

198
00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:23,320
Speaker 3: broke up? How would my friend know that we just

199
00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:26,079
Speaker 3: broke up? And so right as her plane was taxiing,

200
00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:29,120
Speaker 3: she sees the post and then for twelve hours she

201
00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:32,720
Speaker 3: had no way to communicate with anyone or to see

202
00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:35,480
Speaker 3: what was happening. And that had to be really awful.

203
00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:38,080
Speaker 3: I think a lot of people are putting themselves in

204
00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:40,320
Speaker 3: her shoes and imagining how awful that is. Maybe Matt

205
00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:43,880
Speaker 3: didn't know that would have happened, didn't realize, But to

206
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,040
Speaker 3: do that without giving her a text a heads up,

207
00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:48,720
Speaker 3: Hey do you mind if I post this? Or I

208
00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:51,840
Speaker 3: really want this to be on the record at this point,

209
00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:53,960
Speaker 3: I want to be transparent, just to at least have

210
00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:56,480
Speaker 3: let her know what was happening, I think, to not

211
00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:58,720
Speaker 3: tell her to do it, and for her not to

212
00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:01,640
Speaker 3: have the time to tell her friends, her family, let

213
00:10:01,679 --> 00:10:05,400
Speaker 3: alone process it. I get why people are upset for

214
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:06,320
Speaker 3: her about that.

215
00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:09,360
Speaker 2: She said it was two to three hours after she

216
00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:13,679
Speaker 2: found out that she the man that she planned to

217
00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:17,600
Speaker 2: marry and have kids with. She just found out that

218
00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:20,640
Speaker 2: was over, and then the world knew it before she

219
00:10:20,679 --> 00:10:21,280
Speaker 2: could process it.

220
00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:22,040
Speaker 1: That's that's tough.

221
00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:26,680
Speaker 3: That's tough, and I think that this may This is

222
00:10:26,679 --> 00:10:30,120
Speaker 3: where my head goes to. You're thinking, you know, yes,

223
00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:32,600
Speaker 3: you broke up, and people break up and get back together.

224
00:10:32,679 --> 00:10:37,320
Speaker 3: People say things sometimes when they're upset, tired, they've been traveling,

225
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:39,640
Speaker 3: they were on each other's nerves, and then twenty four

226
00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:42,960
Speaker 3: hours later think, you know what, actually you know, can

227
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:46,319
Speaker 3: we talk more about this? It just he put a

228
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:50,400
Speaker 3: finality to it that maybe she needed more time to

229
00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:52,640
Speaker 3: get to You know, people say things in the heat

230
00:10:52,679 --> 00:10:56,000
Speaker 3: of the moment. People say things, and then you decide

231
00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:58,440
Speaker 3: a day later, two days later, a week later, that

232
00:10:58,559 --> 00:11:01,400
Speaker 3: maybe that isn't what you want. And I'm not saying

233
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:02,840
Speaker 3: that would have been the case, but I think that

234
00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:09,800
Speaker 3: also is a part of it that really cemented the breakup.

235
00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:13,640
Speaker 2: And I don't know, and I'll say here, I haven't

236
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,920
Speaker 2: had a chance to talk to Matt yet. I understand where,

237
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:21,040
Speaker 2: maybe understand more than most where Matt might be when

238
00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:24,160
Speaker 2: it comes to dealing with this publicly and why he

239
00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:26,360
Speaker 2: might be a little quiet, might be in hiding and

240
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:27,880
Speaker 2: doesn't want to say a whole lot. But I can

241
00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:30,320
Speaker 2: only imagine what he's going through now. Nobody wants to

242
00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:33,560
Speaker 2: hear or think about his side of the story and

243
00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:35,360
Speaker 2: what he may have been going through. But it's a

244
00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:37,439
Speaker 2: matter I can't imagine. We know this guy pretty well

245
00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:42,160
Speaker 2: where his head was to do it so quickly. According

246
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,960
Speaker 2: to her, they have talked since he did apologize and

247
00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:47,880
Speaker 2: say he didn't handle that well. Okay, that makes sense,

248
00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:51,520
Speaker 2: but what at the same time, we know this is

249
00:11:51,559 --> 00:11:54,600
Speaker 2: a woman he planned to marry. This is a woman

250
00:11:54,679 --> 00:11:57,640
Speaker 2: he saw himself having kids with. This is a woman

251
00:11:57,679 --> 00:12:02,400
Speaker 2: that he went through a public trauma with and fighting

252
00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:05,520
Speaker 2: for their relationship. Remember they broke up right after The

253
00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:07,600
Speaker 2: Bachelor because of all that back and forth with her

254
00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:11,079
Speaker 2: in the controversy. So to see them overcome and be together,

255
00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:12,600
Speaker 2: I think a lot of people were rooting for them.

256
00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:17,319
Speaker 2: But she said in that conversation when they decided they

257
00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:19,400
Speaker 2: they decided they were going to go their separate ways.

258
00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:22,280
Speaker 2: It wasn't just him saying no, but she acknowledged a well,

259
00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:24,680
Speaker 2: and they decided according to her, but it was a

260
00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:25,400
Speaker 2: matter of go ahead.

261
00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:28,920
Speaker 3: You think she she didn't want this breakup. She wanted

262
00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:29,520
Speaker 3: to marry him.

263
00:12:29,679 --> 00:12:29,839
Speaker 1: Yes.

264
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:33,560
Speaker 3: I think when she heard him say you're not the

265
00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:37,240
Speaker 3: person who I think I want as my wife, then

266
00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:40,680
Speaker 3: she basically just acquiesced and said, Okay, I mean, what

267
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,640
Speaker 3: else do you say? So I don't feel like they

268
00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:46,720
Speaker 3: broke up together or that they decided together he broke

269
00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:48,200
Speaker 3: up with her and she accepted it.

270
00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:50,440
Speaker 1: See I yes, to.

271
00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:53,720
Speaker 2: Your point in what you're saying, I say he wanted

272
00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:57,000
Speaker 2: to marry her too. He wanted to marry this woman.

273
00:12:57,720 --> 00:13:00,280
Speaker 2: Somebody comes to realization, how many times have you a

274
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,920
Speaker 2: relationship or everybody has You've ended a relationship with somebody

275
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:04,800
Speaker 2: then you didn't want it to end, but you knew

276
00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:07,240
Speaker 2: it needed to, or you knew it was the right

277
00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:07,760
Speaker 2: thing to do.

278
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:09,480
Speaker 1: I am.

279
00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:12,280
Speaker 2: And again, this will come off as just defending Matt,

280
00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:14,760
Speaker 2: and I will defend Matt. But I can defend Matt

281
00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:18,440
Speaker 2: without shitting on Rachel. I can defend him and have

282
00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:21,080
Speaker 2: my heart go out to him without taking any way

283
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,960
Speaker 2: anything away from her experience. And if Matt was in

284
00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:25,600
Speaker 2: front of me right now, I said, damn, bro, what

285
00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:27,000
Speaker 2: were you thinking with that post?

286
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:28,360
Speaker 1: Why did you give it a beat? And he might

287
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,000
Speaker 1: have an answer. I'm like, Okay, I get it.

288
00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:32,760
Speaker 2: That was a tough thing to do. So for him

289
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:36,120
Speaker 2: to come to a realization that hey, I don't want

290
00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:38,480
Speaker 2: to waste any more of your time and I'm not

291
00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:42,440
Speaker 2: going to be able to go through with this, she

292
00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:46,920
Speaker 2: where's the quote here? He said that maybe one day

293
00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:49,439
Speaker 2: he would get there, but he doesn't feel ready now.

294
00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:51,960
Speaker 2: And I told him, well, after four years, you should

295
00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:54,800
Speaker 2: know or you should feel ready, and if you don't,

296
00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:57,840
Speaker 2: that's a good thing. We probably should be together. If

297
00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:00,200
Speaker 2: you don't feel like that after four years, And let

298
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:02,880
Speaker 2: me get that right, she said, we probably shouldn't be

299
00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:06,320
Speaker 2: together if you don't feel like that after four years,

300
00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:09,160
Speaker 2: because you know me better than anyone. I know you

301
00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:12,160
Speaker 2: better than anyone, so you should know by now if

302
00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:16,120
Speaker 2: you see this for the long haul or not. To

303
00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:20,240
Speaker 2: your point, yes, she didn't say, hey, we need to

304
00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:23,560
Speaker 2: break up, but after hearing him she said, yep, I

305
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:27,360
Speaker 2: can't be with you anymore. After hearing him say that,

306
00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:30,840
Speaker 2: she seems to understand. But yes, to your part, he initiated,

307
00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:33,720
Speaker 2: and we're always looking for somebody to hold responsible in

308
00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:35,800
Speaker 2: these things, right, somebody's got to be somebody's fault, so

309
00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:38,440
Speaker 2: it has to be Matt's fault. And I think she

310
00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:41,160
Speaker 2: did a lot to try to take some heat off

311
00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:41,400
Speaker 2: of him.

312
00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:42,080
Speaker 1: At the end of this.

313
00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:44,680
Speaker 3: Interview, she loves him and I think he loves her,

314
00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:56,320
Speaker 3: and that doesn't mean that you're meant to be together,

315
00:14:56,360 --> 00:15:01,840
Speaker 3: which is really hard to accept sometimes. But I agree

316
00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:04,680
Speaker 3: with you that I think one of the saddest things

317
00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:07,200
Speaker 3: about any kind of public breakup, but will specifically talk

318
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,640
Speaker 3: about this one, is that everyone wants to take sides,

319
00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:13,320
Speaker 3: and isn't that always the problem. Can we not feel

320
00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:16,840
Speaker 3: for them both, send love to them both, and acknowledge

321
00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:19,760
Speaker 3: that they are both hurting and we're both trying to

322
00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:25,360
Speaker 3: follow their hearts and protect the others. And yeah, they

323
00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:29,680
Speaker 3: both made mistakes. They both made mistakes. He shouldn't have

324
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:32,680
Speaker 3: posted that without discussing it with her first. I firmly

325
00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:36,000
Speaker 3: believe that, and she probably shouldn't have gone on a

326
00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:38,960
Speaker 3: podcast giving every detail. But I think he was trying

327
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:41,360
Speaker 3: to be transparent and she was trying to set the

328
00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:43,440
Speaker 3: record straight. So I think they might have both had

329
00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:47,200
Speaker 3: good intentions, but now it's gotten messy.

330
00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:51,520
Speaker 2: She spoke about this idea that he did feel pressure.

331
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:54,320
Speaker 2: He felt She said there was a weight on him

332
00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:58,800
Speaker 2: about the relationship, and I again only our opinions here

333
00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:02,680
Speaker 2: that that had to play into him. He almost feels

334
00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:04,840
Speaker 2: like there is a responsibility to the public as well

335
00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:06,400
Speaker 2: to let people.

336
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:07,360
Speaker 1: Into your lives so much.

337
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:10,160
Speaker 2: We do it so often, we live these public lives,

338
00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:12,160
Speaker 2: so then when something happens in your personal life, well

339
00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:14,320
Speaker 2: how many times we criticize. I'm like, damn, dude, we

340
00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:17,040
Speaker 2: didn't need to know that it's this thing that I

341
00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:20,040
Speaker 2: have to feed the public. They need to know they've

342
00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:22,720
Speaker 2: been on an almost obligation, like you.

343
00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:23,640
Speaker 1: Guys have supported me.

344
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:26,200
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, but I gotta let you know, almost like

345
00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:29,840
Speaker 2: family members. I get but two to three hours hearing

346
00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:34,720
Speaker 2: her describe just not getting the heads up matt oh brother,

347
00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:36,360
Speaker 2: that was a that was a tough one. I need

348
00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:38,360
Speaker 2: to hear from him what he was thinking. And I'm

349
00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:40,920
Speaker 2: not even after I hear it, I might understand it

350
00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:43,560
Speaker 2: a little better. It's hard to see why not giving

351
00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:45,160
Speaker 2: the heads up, say hey, Rachel, I'm gonna do this.

352
00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:47,040
Speaker 2: You don't have a choice in me posting it, but

353
00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:48,280
Speaker 2: I just want to give you a heads up.

354
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:49,200
Speaker 1: Even that would have been better.

355
00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:50,640
Speaker 3: That would have been better because she could have at

356
00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:53,720
Speaker 3: least told her family, hey, you're about to see something break,

357
00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:56,000
Speaker 3: and I'll tell you when I'm getting on a plane.

358
00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:59,400
Speaker 3: Is she just she was stuck. She had she had

359
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,640
Speaker 3: no one to turn to, no one to lean on,

360
00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:05,399
Speaker 3: and that's tough for that. I cannot imagine what that

361
00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:08,320
Speaker 3: plan ride was like for her. But I want to

362
00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:12,199
Speaker 3: say this, when you're a public couple, you're damned if

363
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:15,119
Speaker 3: you do and you're damned if you don't. Because we

364
00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:19,080
Speaker 3: learned that not speaking about what's going on can be

365
00:17:19,359 --> 00:17:23,920
Speaker 3: just as messy, if not more messy. But yes, it'd

366
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:27,000
Speaker 3: be great if Matt and Rachel could have had a strategy.

367
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:30,840
Speaker 3: But my god, it's personal, it's emotional, it is private,

368
00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:32,520
Speaker 3: and it's the last thing you want to do is

369
00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:37,399
Speaker 3: discuss how to deal with your breakup publicly when you're

370
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:40,840
Speaker 3: still in shock, you're in mourning, you're emotional. There's so

371
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:42,520
Speaker 3: much pain, there's so much loss.

372
00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:44,800
Speaker 2: But the other side of that is I gave you

373
00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:48,960
Speaker 2: everything when things were great, right, you feed me, You've

374
00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:51,760
Speaker 2: taught me to come into your life. When you got

375
00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:54,480
Speaker 2: this plan, you're going here, I'm on this trip, But

376
00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:58,000
Speaker 2: now you don't. I mean, it goes both ways. What

377
00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:01,880
Speaker 2: level of privacy do you you should you be afforded

378
00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:04,080
Speaker 2: when you're the very one out there making sure your

379
00:18:04,119 --> 00:18:07,400
Speaker 2: life is not that bride by putting it out there.

380
00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:09,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, I do not know. You know we're trying to

381
00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:10,400
Speaker 1: find that balance.

382
00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:12,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, we are. And I think you have to insulate

383
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:15,480
Speaker 3: yourself from the comments and just do what you feel

384
00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:17,399
Speaker 3: is right. And maybe you make a bad call and

385
00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:20,399
Speaker 3: you apologize for it, but this is between Matt and

386
00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:24,879
Speaker 3: Rachel and I Look, I was looking at some of

387
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:27,040
Speaker 3: the comments and I won't read any of the negative ones,

388
00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:29,280
Speaker 3: but some of people were actually really insightful. There was

389
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:32,359
Speaker 3: one comment where someone said breaking up before social media

390
00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:36,160
Speaker 3: was so much easier, and I agree, but I liked

391
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:39,439
Speaker 3: this one. You guys get so worked up over people

392
00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:43,320
Speaker 3: you see on TV that have the same relationship problems

393
00:18:43,359 --> 00:18:46,560
Speaker 3: that you do too, and that is the truth. And

394
00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:50,920
Speaker 3: I think people almost are able to watch other people's

395
00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:54,399
Speaker 3: problems and speculate about their issues, and that way they

396
00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:56,119
Speaker 3: don't have to think about their own. And I do

397
00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:57,919
Speaker 3: think we all need to ask ourselves that when we

398
00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:01,199
Speaker 3: get two into the weeds pointing fingers, I think we

399
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,440
Speaker 3: can if you look at this and you read this

400
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:06,160
Speaker 3: and your heart goes out to both of them and

401
00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:10,800
Speaker 3: you just send them love, that's the way to react.

402
00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:14,400
Speaker 3: Because I just don't think that there are there isn't

403
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:17,520
Speaker 3: a bad guy and a good girl in this. Everyone

404
00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:21,560
Speaker 3: has responsibility for the relationship.

405
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,480
Speaker 1: And everybody lost, everybody lost los.

406
00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:27,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean that's so true. And look, I also

407
00:19:27,119 --> 00:19:30,840
Speaker 3: want to point this out. When you're in a relationship,

408
00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:34,439
Speaker 3: there is always pressure from family and friends right to

409
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:38,360
Speaker 3: stay together, to be together, to be great together. There's

410
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:41,040
Speaker 3: also personal pressure, like you want to do right for

411
00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:43,840
Speaker 3: yourself and for the person your partner. But when you

412
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:46,879
Speaker 3: add the pressure from the public, I think it's incredibly

413
00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:52,760
Speaker 3: brave to admit, as Matt did to Rachel privately initially,

414
00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:56,480
Speaker 3: that you're not ready for marriage with someone. That's so

415
00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:59,639
Speaker 3: hard to say out loud, And the worst thing I

416
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:01,720
Speaker 3: think he could have done would be to have proposed

417
00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:04,879
Speaker 3: and to have gone into a marriage where he was

418
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:08,879
Speaker 3: doubting significantly whether or not it was the right thing

419
00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:12,719
Speaker 3: to do. I've certainly accepted proposals that I shouldn't have

420
00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:17,000
Speaker 3: in hindsight, and when you have doubt, and if it's

421
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:20,440
Speaker 3: significant enough, it takes a lot of courage to say

422
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:20,960
Speaker 3: it out loud.

423
00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:24,760
Speaker 1: But where does it come from? The idea you used it?

424
00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:28,320
Speaker 2: And I think in listening to her, and she was

425
00:20:28,359 --> 00:20:31,000
Speaker 2: talking to a much different, a very specific audience, I

426
00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:35,439
Speaker 2: should say that relates to and understands where she's coming from.

427
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:38,119
Speaker 2: And almost you could almost hear women going amen or

428
00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:42,440
Speaker 2: hell yeah or me too as they were having their discussion.

429
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:45,120
Speaker 2: But where does it come from? To where the dragging

430
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:50,800
Speaker 2: the feet right? How many couples dealing with this right now? Hey,

431
00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:54,080
Speaker 2: we've been together for a year, two years, three years

432
00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:58,040
Speaker 2: like when I think, certainly after what year and a half?

433
00:20:58,240 --> 00:20:59,120
Speaker 1: Two years top?

434
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:01,679
Speaker 2: So you get the guy does before pressure comes.

435
00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:05,160
Speaker 3: Absolutely, I think that is an absolute time between one

436
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:08,760
Speaker 3: year and two years. Yes, people, most people, a lot

437
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:12,480
Speaker 3: of women will say not everybody, Hey, where are we going?

438
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:15,080
Speaker 3: Where are we heading? What answer is I.

439
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:17,680
Speaker 1: Don't know yet? What do you do? Right?

440
00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:20,320
Speaker 2: Then the guy gets accused of dragging your feet or

441
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:21,440
Speaker 2: dragging her along?

442
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:22,800
Speaker 1: But what if you don't know?

443
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:24,760
Speaker 2: I mean, what do you This is something that I

444
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:26,840
Speaker 2: don't know if it'll ever get resolved between men and women.

445
00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:31,160
Speaker 2: What do you what if you don't know? How much

446
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:33,720
Speaker 2: time do you give a guy? And then how much

447
00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:36,840
Speaker 2: time should a guy get or how much time should

448
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:37,680
Speaker 2: he spend with a woman.

449
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:41,040
Speaker 3: I think it's personal and it's what you're willing to

450
00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:46,360
Speaker 3: accept as a woman. And I do think this if

451
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:49,160
Speaker 3: you know you want to get married, and you know

452
00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:52,520
Speaker 3: your biological clock is ticking, which women do deal with

453
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:57,640
Speaker 3: those feelings and that pressure as well. If you know

454
00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:00,720
Speaker 3: you want all of that and the guy you're with

455
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:04,040
Speaker 3: isn't sure, you have to decide what's best. You can't

456
00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:07,879
Speaker 3: blame the guy, you know. I appreciate I would appreciate

457
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:11,399
Speaker 3: someone saying I'm not sure, because then that gives me,

458
00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:15,520
Speaker 3: the woman, the opportunity to say I want somebody who is.

459
00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:20,320
Speaker 3: And that's okay too. And I think if you know

460
00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:22,679
Speaker 3: you want to be married, and you know you're on

461
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:26,040
Speaker 3: a timeline for kids, you have a right to say

462
00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:29,480
Speaker 3: this isn't enough for me and find someone else. But

463
00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:32,280
Speaker 3: you have to take responsibility for that being your decision

464
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:35,000
Speaker 3: as well. It's not just Matth's decision. It was Rachel's

465
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:38,560
Speaker 3: decision to stay, and she if she wasn't getting what

466
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:42,040
Speaker 3: she needed out of the relationship, she had every right

467
00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:45,080
Speaker 3: to say I love you, but I need to find

468
00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:46,280
Speaker 3: someone who's ready for marriage.

469
00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:50,440
Speaker 2: Jay's she has every right to say, but in the

470
00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:54,800
Speaker 2: podcast she said it was on his timeline, and I think,

471
00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:56,440
Speaker 2: don't she chose that though?

472
00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:58,080
Speaker 1: Okay, but women feel like that.

473
00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:00,560
Speaker 2: It's not a choice of theirs. I love you, I

474
00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:02,479
Speaker 2: want to be with you, I want to marry you.

475
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:04,760
Speaker 2: I have now been a You put me in a

476
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:06,879
Speaker 2: position to fall in love with you. You put me

477
00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:09,639
Speaker 2: in a position to want want marriage, and we've been

478
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:13,399
Speaker 2: talking about those things. But now it's year three, so

479
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:17,440
Speaker 2: now the onus seems like it's the man's responsibility. Now

480
00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:21,480
Speaker 2: you need to make a move, because you have now

481
00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:25,280
Speaker 2: given me an impression for a year, two years that things.

482
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:26,359
Speaker 1: Were going well.

483
00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:31,280
Speaker 2: This is what has happened with them to where I'm

484
00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:34,120
Speaker 2: almost looking for a way to say it's somebody's fault,

485
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:36,040
Speaker 2: it's the man or the woman's. But in a situation

486
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:39,240
Speaker 2: like this, I really don't know what to do or

487
00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:43,000
Speaker 2: what is the right thing to do. That ends up

488
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:45,160
Speaker 2: in a conclusion that everybody says, yeah, it's not really

489
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:48,400
Speaker 2: anybody's fault, because everything else right now seems to say, well,

490
00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:50,320
Speaker 2: it was his fault for dragging her along that long,

491
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:53,119
Speaker 2: or hey, no, she was her responsibility too.

492
00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:55,639
Speaker 3: You know, I want to make clear I'm not pointing

493
00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:58,119
Speaker 3: the finger at anyone. I just think it's it is.

494
00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:01,840
Speaker 3: It's okay, hay to not know, and it's okay to

495
00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:05,639
Speaker 3: say I want somebody who does. And it's hard. That

496
00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:08,359
Speaker 3: is so easy to say and so hard to actually execute.

497
00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:12,359
Speaker 3: To actually it takes courage from either side to be

498
00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:15,359
Speaker 3: able to say this isn't enough for me, or this

499
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:18,320
Speaker 3: isn't what I want. And I do think as a

500
00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:22,320
Speaker 3: as a woman, you can tell yourself you might even

501
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:25,080
Speaker 3: give yourself a deadline if he and look, the onus

502
00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:27,959
Speaker 3: is on the guy, because yes, we do usually expect

503
00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:31,240
Speaker 3: a man to propose. That is traditionally what happens. And

504
00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:34,040
Speaker 3: sure she could have proposed to him. It sounds like

505
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:36,480
Speaker 3: he probably. I don't know what he would have said,

506
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:41,480
Speaker 3: but if a man is uncomfortable or not ready to propose,

507
00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:44,960
Speaker 3: I wouldn't want to. I personally wouldn't want to walk

508
00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:48,040
Speaker 3: into a marriage with someone who wasn't sure. I don't

509
00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:51,560
Speaker 3: think anybody wants to walk down the aisle with somebody

510
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:54,680
Speaker 3: who isn't sure. And if you say it out loud,

511
00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:57,679
Speaker 3: that does take courage, I know.

512
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:02,040
Speaker 2: Trying to address the idea that he should have said

513
00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:04,840
Speaker 2: it sooner, I'm trying to address this, this mindset that

514
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:06,159
Speaker 2: he's just dragging her along.

515
00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:08,680
Speaker 3: The issue is he did publicly say, and she said

516
00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:11,320
Speaker 3: he said it privately as well, that he wanted to

517
00:25:11,359 --> 00:25:14,399
Speaker 3: marry her. Yep, that he wanted to get engaged. So

518
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:18,280
Speaker 3: where's the disconnect from saying that and then not doing it.

519
00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:20,639
Speaker 3: And she even said he said everything perfectly, but his

520
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:23,680
Speaker 3: actions did not agree with his words.

521
00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:27,200
Speaker 2: Okay, but the action, the only action she's describing, really

522
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:28,119
Speaker 2: is the proposal.

523
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:30,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, haven't.

524
00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:33,120
Speaker 2: Haven't We all been in a position at some point

525
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:37,080
Speaker 2: where we wanted to marry somebody and then we got

526
00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:39,560
Speaker 2: some new information said, actually, no, I don't want to

527
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:43,000
Speaker 2: marry you, or you even marry somebody, and find actually,

528
00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:46,400
Speaker 2: this is not what I should have done. Matt very much,

529
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:49,080
Speaker 2: I don't. Obviously he wasn't fooling her, trying to trick her.

530
00:25:49,359 --> 00:25:51,320
Speaker 2: I had plenty of conversations with this dude. Now that

531
00:25:51,359 --> 00:25:53,160
Speaker 2: she said it, I feel more comfortable saying it. He's

532
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:55,960
Speaker 2: talked about marrying this woman. He's talked about them having kids,

533
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,600
Speaker 2: where are they gonna live, talked about it plenty privately,

534
00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:01,879
Speaker 2: had this conversation tons of times with this dude.

535
00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:05,520
Speaker 1: Something changed, something changed along the way.

536
00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:08,320
Speaker 2: And her argument is she didn't know about it. She did,

537
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:10,879
Speaker 2: but she didn't even think he knew the breakup was

538
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:13,000
Speaker 2: gonna come. Certainly some of these things have been in

539
00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:16,280
Speaker 2: his mind. And talk about you always looking at the

540
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:18,199
Speaker 2: person you've been in with for a relationship. We've been

541
00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:21,440
Speaker 2: together two plus, so we're coming up on three years now.

542
00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:23,280
Speaker 1: I assure you I've had plenty.

543
00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:28,000
Speaker 2: Of thoughts about that being my wife and that being

544
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:29,560
Speaker 2: an issue in two years or five?

545
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:30,440
Speaker 1: Is this going to be problem?

546
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:30,600
Speaker 3: Oh?

547
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:33,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, everybody does that. He's done that, she did.

548
00:26:34,119 --> 00:26:37,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, everybody has ugly sides to them. Everybody has things

549
00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:41,159
Speaker 3: and ways that we react to things that aren't We

550
00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:43,399
Speaker 3: aren't at our best. And the question is you have

551
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:46,640
Speaker 3: you ask yourself? Yes, no matter who you're with, you're

552
00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:48,840
Speaker 3: gonna have issues with people. People aren't going to do

553
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:51,000
Speaker 3: and say and think and behave the way you'd like

554
00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:53,600
Speaker 3: them to. So how much of that can you tolerate?

555
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:55,720
Speaker 3: And can you live your life with someone when you

556
00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:59,320
Speaker 3: start to see some of the things that aren't attractive,

557
00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:02,720
Speaker 3: you know, can can you live with that? And it

558
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:08,000
Speaker 3: sounded like him seeing her get emotional and withdrawn was

559
00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:12,760
Speaker 3: a trigger and something that maybe he had seen multiple

560
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:15,479
Speaker 3: times I don't know, and that it just it just

561
00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:17,879
Speaker 3: flashed in front of him. Maybe he had an epiphany,

562
00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:20,320
Speaker 3: maybe he had an AHA moment. Maybe there was just

563
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:23,879
Speaker 3: clarity saying, you know what, I don't want more nights

564
00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:27,800
Speaker 3: like that. I don't want days like that. I don't

565
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:30,919
Speaker 3: want that. I don't you know. We can't get in

566
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,520
Speaker 3: his head, but you're right, something had to have changed,

567
00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:36,480
Speaker 3: something had to have clicked, and maybe spending three weeks

568
00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:40,040
Speaker 3: non stop with someone, you know, maybe everyone should do that.

569
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:43,680
Speaker 3: Spend three weeks with someone twenty four hours a day,

570
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:46,959
Speaker 3: and you might have clarity that you didn't have before.

571
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:50,520
Speaker 2: Well, we're the best couple ever, then apparently.

572
00:27:50,119 --> 00:27:52,280
Speaker 3: We should be. We should go to the go to

573
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:57,199
Speaker 3: the courthouse. Right now, we have withstood that test, but

574
00:27:57,520 --> 00:27:59,680
Speaker 3: it's a test a lot of people don't go through.

575
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:02,959
Speaker 3: And look, I think at the end of the day,

576
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,280
Speaker 3: a year from now, six months from now, five years

577
00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:09,040
Speaker 3: from now, there will be clarity. And I also think

578
00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:11,440
Speaker 3: it's I try to avoid this in my own life,

579
00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:14,080
Speaker 3: and I hope that people and refrain from or from

580
00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:17,040
Speaker 3: Rachel thinking this or Matt thinking that they wasted time. Right,

581
00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:20,159
Speaker 3: I've seen that online everywhere. It's not a waste of

582
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:25,240
Speaker 3: time to learn what it's like to love someone, to

583
00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:28,959
Speaker 3: accept someone, to love yourself, to accept yourself and realize

584
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:32,000
Speaker 3: what works and what doesn't like. They learned so much

585
00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:36,120
Speaker 3: and about each other and about themselves, and that will

586
00:28:36,119 --> 00:28:37,840
Speaker 3: set them up for the next relationship.

587
00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:39,760
Speaker 2: These are very young people.

588
00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:43,080
Speaker 3: They're young, no, and they are really young. But again,

589
00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:45,400
Speaker 3: I know what Rachel's thinking. When I was her age

590
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:47,760
Speaker 3: at twenty eight. I was thinking to myself, my god,

591
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:50,360
Speaker 3: I've got five years to have a baby, or it's

592
00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:53,000
Speaker 3: gonna be hard, or I'm gonna have to get medical intervention,

593
00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:56,640
Speaker 3: or I'm gonna have so her mind, Matt doesn't. Men

594
00:28:56,720 --> 00:28:58,520
Speaker 3: don't have to worry about that in the same way

595
00:28:58,520 --> 00:29:00,840
Speaker 3: that women do. And so you know, oh, you're putting

596
00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:02,760
Speaker 3: pressure on me, Well, there's real if you know you

597
00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:05,360
Speaker 3: want kids, there is real pressure there. And she had

598
00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:08,040
Speaker 3: every right. I mean, I don't think he said she didn't,

599
00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:11,680
Speaker 3: but I understand, like, what is going what else needs

600
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:13,920
Speaker 3: to happen? What else do you need to know? What

601
00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:17,160
Speaker 3: else do you need to see to say you want

602
00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:18,880
Speaker 3: to marry me or not, or not just to say

603
00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:22,080
Speaker 3: it sorry, but to actually propose to me and walk

604
00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:22,600
Speaker 3: down the aisle.

605
00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:26,680
Speaker 2: And perhaps that question should be I mean, should we

606
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:30,800
Speaker 2: all be asking that question every six months after marrying,

607
00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:32,400
Speaker 2: after dating.

608
00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:34,880
Speaker 3: Somebody, like hopefully not after marrying.

609
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:38,160
Speaker 2: Do you want this to like check in at a year,

610
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:40,080
Speaker 2: a year and a half, two, are we still on

611
00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:44,480
Speaker 2: the same page and moving forward? Maybe that's worth it,

612
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:47,240
Speaker 2: But it's just that matter of whether's that sweet spot

613
00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:49,400
Speaker 2: of Okay, it's been this long, you should know by

614
00:29:49,440 --> 00:29:54,120
Speaker 2: now that I know it's difference for different people, but

615
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:58,360
Speaker 2: we there's a general feeling that Okay, it's been two years,

616
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:02,200
Speaker 2: like should I get off the pop I think goes comes.

617
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:06,360
Speaker 3: Especially when you're that age. We're different, we're older, we're

618
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:09,080
Speaker 3: not rushing to go have babies together.

619
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:13,600
Speaker 2: And to some though, I feel it daily, I'm not

620
00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:16,800
Speaker 2: going to have good drinks next time. I'm kidding, I

621
00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:18,040
Speaker 2: am kidding, I'm kidding.

622
00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:21,920
Speaker 3: But but so, but when you're younger, there is more

623
00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:24,840
Speaker 3: pressure because there is a timeline and there you know

624
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:28,160
Speaker 3: when we when you get older, there's less of a timeline.

625
00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:32,440
Speaker 3: So I get it, and I do think that when

626
00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:35,760
Speaker 3: you're that age, there is a big question mark. If

627
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:37,880
Speaker 3: I were Rachel, if I were Rachel's friends family, I'd

628
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:40,400
Speaker 3: be like, why isn't he proposing to you? And that

629
00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:44,560
Speaker 3: does become a glaring and important question, and it's hard

630
00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:46,920
Speaker 3: to ask because she probably didn't want to know the answer.

631
00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:48,320
Speaker 1: You know.

632
00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:51,040
Speaker 2: I saw this recently about I can't remember what breakup

633
00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:53,400
Speaker 2: it was, but it was described this way. It ran

634
00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:56,280
Speaker 2: its course like they they just got to a point

635
00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:57,560
Speaker 2: that we're either going to do this or we're going

636
00:30:57,600 --> 00:31:00,360
Speaker 2: to do this, like huh, there's nothing else for this, reallylationship.

637
00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:02,480
Speaker 2: We know we're not going to get married, certainly not

638
00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:05,160
Speaker 2: anytime soon. It's okay, we've run our course and call

639
00:31:05,200 --> 00:31:10,640
Speaker 2: on your own way. Is it any possibility that yeahship.

640
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:12,640
Speaker 3: Yell, of course. It's the reasons the people say there.

641
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:16,280
Speaker 3: This is the concept behind relationships in a person's lifetime.

642
00:31:16,320 --> 00:31:21,760
Speaker 3: There's a reason. Sometimes there's this season sometimes and rarely. Yeah,

643
00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:24,960
Speaker 3: it's a lifetime. But a lot of times, well that

644
00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:28,560
Speaker 3: is true. I mean the reason and season is probably

645
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:32,080
Speaker 3: far more plentiful than the lifetime relationship.

646
00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:35,120
Speaker 2: She did make clear, we do want to say at

647
00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:37,440
Speaker 2: the end, she wanted to make this clear. I've seen

648
00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:41,000
Speaker 2: rumors out there about they're being infidelity. She said that

649
00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:44,160
Speaker 2: had nothing to do. She went said it several times.

650
00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:47,640
Speaker 2: He is a good guy. He is a god fearing man.

651
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:50,800
Speaker 2: He didn't want us to live together until we got married.

652
00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:52,560
Speaker 2: But she at the same time, she said, hey, we've

653
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:54,760
Speaker 2: been traveling everywhere. When the hotel rooms does a big deal.

654
00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:57,040
Speaker 3: Half this stuff is still at my place in Atlanta, Georgia.

655
00:31:57,120 --> 00:31:59,640
Speaker 2: She said, yes, so they we talked about this the

656
00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:03,800
Speaker 2: last time. When he first announced their breakup. We knew

657
00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:06,480
Speaker 2: like they were not in the same city. They traveled

658
00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:09,960
Speaker 2: everywhere together, but they were bouncing around quite a bit.

659
00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:12,240
Speaker 3: Look the multiple times that I have hung out with Matt,

660
00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:15,680
Speaker 3: and it's multiple multiple He's never been with Rachel, and

661
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:17,800
Speaker 3: not because they were fighting or there was some issue.

662
00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:19,720
Speaker 3: It was just they were all over the place. And

663
00:32:19,760 --> 00:32:22,719
Speaker 3: she did point out another looking in hindsight, there are

664
00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:25,560
Speaker 3: always a lot of red flags, but people's actions do

665
00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:28,200
Speaker 3: speak louder than their words. She said. Getting him to

666
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:30,160
Speaker 3: come to weddings, and she did have a lot of them,

667
00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:34,479
Speaker 3: was like pulling teeth that he didn't want to go.

668
00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:37,320
Speaker 3: He didn't want to come, be like those are.

669
00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:39,440
Speaker 2: All the way to a lot of those.

670
00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:44,479
Speaker 3: He did. But I do think that that is a sign,

671
00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:47,320
Speaker 3: you know. I don't know. I always go back to

672
00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:50,760
Speaker 3: what my mom told me. If a man, this may

673
00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:53,760
Speaker 3: be's so unfair, here you go, but I'm going to

674
00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:55,440
Speaker 3: say what my mom told me, and it always stuck

675
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:56,960
Speaker 3: with me. She said, if a man wants to be

676
00:32:57,040 --> 00:33:00,000
Speaker 3: with you, if a man loves you, he will walk

677
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:03,360
Speaker 3: across water to be with you if you ask him,

678
00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:06,680
Speaker 3: and even if you don't. And I don't know, I've

679
00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:07,920
Speaker 3: always kind of held that.

680
00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:09,800
Speaker 2: He should be Jesus for your mom with that.

681
00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:10,880
Speaker 1: Huh.

682
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:27,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, she dancedn't shun impress off of fifty years.

683
00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:28,920
Speaker 3: Somehow it's working though.

684
00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:34,240
Speaker 1: Her hearts go out to these two. Love them both.

685
00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:36,360
Speaker 2: Like I said you mentioned, Yeah, most of the times

686
00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:38,280
Speaker 2: I was with Matt, Rachel wasn't around. But I have

687
00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:40,520
Speaker 2: gotten to spend some good time with her. We had

688
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:42,320
Speaker 2: a good old laugh because I had to cover her

689
00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:46,680
Speaker 2: story every day on GMA what was happening in the

690
00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:48,080
Speaker 2: controversy with bachelor.

691
00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:51,280
Speaker 1: He loves that young lady.

692
00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:54,360
Speaker 2: She is adorable, she has great energy, she has great

693
00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:57,280
Speaker 2: But I am saying all complimentary things because of somebody

694
00:33:57,320 --> 00:34:00,160
Speaker 2: I stood in front of and got to know in

695
00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:03,320
Speaker 2: that way. I'm watching her here in this moment, and

696
00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:08,120
Speaker 2: it's not a matter of taking sides. He is my

697
00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:11,799
Speaker 2: friend and someone I'm close to, so I'm I will

698
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:15,960
Speaker 2: forever defend him, and I will forever I won't defend

699
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:20,000
Speaker 2: bad behavior, but I can still be supportive of him

700
00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:23,239
Speaker 2: in a public way and knowing I'm not defending him

701
00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:25,600
Speaker 2: putting that post up and if he asked me ahead

702
00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:28,239
Speaker 2: of time, bro, this is what we should do with

703
00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:32,360
Speaker 2: this thing, I would have recommended that, but for the

704
00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:35,680
Speaker 2: relationship he had, where his heart was, where his intentions were,

705
00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:40,440
Speaker 2: what he's sincerely desired out of this relationship with her,

706
00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:43,080
Speaker 2: with her, he should not be criticized.

707
00:34:43,239 --> 00:34:45,920
Speaker 3: I agree, And it's painful because we do know him.

708
00:34:47,239 --> 00:34:50,240
Speaker 3: This all of the speculation and finger pointing. Again, everyone

709
00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:52,600
Speaker 3: wants a bad guy, and I do think us women,

710
00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:55,000
Speaker 3: this is true love to point the finger at the

711
00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:57,960
Speaker 3: man and say look what he did. Look and she

712
00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:01,879
Speaker 3: was not doing that. And so I just think we,

713
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:04,759
Speaker 3: like you know both of them. I know Matt, and

714
00:35:05,120 --> 00:35:09,239
Speaker 3: these are good people who had good intentions, who made

715
00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:11,960
Speaker 3: mistakes along the way, as we all do. So I

716
00:35:12,440 --> 00:35:14,680
Speaker 3: also just want to say, while this is very painful

717
00:35:14,719 --> 00:35:17,600
Speaker 3: to watch and it is heartbreaking, it's far less painful

718
00:35:17,640 --> 00:35:20,680
Speaker 3: than a divorce after a children are involved. So I

719
00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:22,399
Speaker 3: just want to give both of them a big hug,

720
00:35:23,239 --> 00:35:25,200
Speaker 3: and I want to give them a break from all

721
00:35:25,239 --> 00:35:28,720
Speaker 3: the speculation and all the finger pointing and just let

722
00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:33,120
Speaker 3: them heal because it's they're gonna it's gonna they're gonna

723
00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:34,560
Speaker 3: need some time, both of them.

724
00:35:34,719 --> 00:35:37,200
Speaker 2: And I don't know if there's potential for these two

725
00:35:37,239 --> 00:35:39,759
Speaker 2: getting back together. The way she put it was after

726
00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:42,560
Speaker 2: you hear someone say that like she's she doesn't think

727
00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:45,120
Speaker 2: she could rekindle, just after you hear someone say they

728
00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:48,479
Speaker 2: you're not the type of person I want as a wife.

729
00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:51,720
Speaker 3: Is a difficult Honestly, that makes me want to cry

730
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:54,000
Speaker 3: for her. That is a tough thing to hear. It

731
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:57,239
Speaker 3: doesn't mean she's a bad person. It's just something. It's

732
00:35:57,360 --> 00:36:00,800
Speaker 3: it's about dynamic and and it's it's about how you

733
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:04,040
Speaker 3: communicate and how you handle not just the good times

734
00:36:04,040 --> 00:36:09,040
Speaker 3: but the bad times. And it's heartbreaking, it really is.

735
00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:12,680
Speaker 3: And that's a tough damn thing to hear. But better

736
00:36:12,719 --> 00:36:16,359
Speaker 3: to hear it before a marriage than after.

737
00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:18,600
Speaker 2: Mom always said you'd rather find out in five months

738
00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:23,200
Speaker 2: than five years that there's an issue. So Matt, we

739
00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:25,680
Speaker 2: love your brother. Rachel. We love you too, just it's

740
00:36:25,719 --> 00:36:27,880
Speaker 2: not as close to her, but we love you. And

741
00:36:28,280 --> 00:36:30,880
Speaker 2: you were taking care of our guy, and if you

742
00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:32,680
Speaker 2: were good for him and had a smile on his face,

743
00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:38,520
Speaker 2: you were always always going to be a favorite of ours,

744
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:42,000
Speaker 2: simple as that. So, folks, you'll hear plenty more about this,

745
00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:42,960
Speaker 2: And I think you're right.

746
00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:43,480
Speaker 1: Robes.

747
00:36:43,520 --> 00:36:47,759
Speaker 2: We watch so often from Afar and we see the

748
00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:50,640
Speaker 2: way somebody you care about people you care about being

749
00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:53,560
Speaker 2: talked about in such a way. Yeah, and it doesn't

750
00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:57,719
Speaker 2: feel good. So we'll see what neck this might be

751
00:36:57,760 --> 00:36:59,440
Speaker 2: it for a while. This is and you know what,

752
00:36:59,480 --> 00:37:02,279
Speaker 2: I was jealous in listening to her, jealous And then

753
00:37:02,360 --> 00:37:06,480
Speaker 2: while she she stepped out and spoke when things were

754
00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:08,279
Speaker 2: going on, she just didn't let it keep going. I

755
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:10,879
Speaker 2: just I always look at them and go, wow, that's

756
00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:13,560
Speaker 2: what we should have done. There are lessons to be learning,

757
00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:16,000
Speaker 2: there are lessons we learned that. I'm like, I would

758
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:18,040
Speaker 2: love to go run to both of them now and say, hey,

759
00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:20,480
Speaker 2: this is coming. You should do this, this should do this,

760
00:37:20,520 --> 00:37:23,120
Speaker 2: because we do have an experience there. Yeah, lends itself

761
00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:23,919
Speaker 2: to what they're going through.

762
00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:26,480
Speaker 3: Well. I do appreciate the fact that both of them

763
00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:30,560
Speaker 3: said nothing but kind words about one another, and when

764
00:37:30,600 --> 00:37:34,680
Speaker 3: they both did publicly say something, it was never with

765
00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:39,480
Speaker 3: any sort of contempt or any sort of blame. And

766
00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:41,719
Speaker 3: I hope it stays that way. And again, I just

767
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:42,839
Speaker 3: want to give you both a hug.

768
00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:44,480
Speaker 2: It will it'll stay at both And you know what

769
00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:46,680
Speaker 2: she said, I know she said that.

770
00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:47,640
Speaker 1: He said to.

771
00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:52,000
Speaker 2: Her during the breakup, I will never say anything bad

772
00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:53,800
Speaker 2: about you in a public form.

773
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:57,319
Speaker 3: Ever, that's cool and that's the mat we know. And

774
00:37:57,480 --> 00:37:59,239
Speaker 3: he has been calling her by the way to check

775
00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:00,759
Speaker 3: up on her, and I think I get a certain point.

776
00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:04,600
Speaker 3: She's like, okay, I'm okay and enough that's almost making

777
00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:06,480
Speaker 3: it painful. He was trying to be kind, but I

778
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:08,840
Speaker 3: get that, and look, who knows, Like you said, a

779
00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:11,680
Speaker 3: year from now, you never know what could happen.

780
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:15,800
Speaker 2: It threw me, just the idea if he kept calling.

781
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:18,400
Speaker 2: She's like, okay, I get it, you can stop calling

782
00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:20,200
Speaker 2: to check on me. But it threw me, she said.

783
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:23,200
Speaker 2: The first time he called after the breakup, like after

784
00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:25,719
Speaker 2: the first several minutes of talking how you're doing, they

785
00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:27,839
Speaker 2: just started talking about, Hey, how was the Tokyo trip?

786
00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:28,640
Speaker 1: Your last day there? Had?

787
00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:29,640
Speaker 3: They were best friends?

788
00:38:29,719 --> 00:38:32,000
Speaker 1: Yes, think about that, folks.

789
00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:34,960
Speaker 2: Imagine right now your best friend is gone. That's tough.

790
00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:36,919
Speaker 2: Not the person you're dating, but everybody has the best

791
00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:39,359
Speaker 2: who who that person.

792
00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:41,800
Speaker 3: Is, Well, you're my best friend, so you don't have.

793
00:38:41,640 --> 00:38:44,160
Speaker 2: That person all of a sudden, who also happened to

794
00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:45,319
Speaker 2: be your mate, who was going to be the father

795
00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:45,880
Speaker 2: of your children.

796
00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:48,520
Speaker 3: It's like a death that's hard, like a.

797
00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:53,000
Speaker 2: Death God, that's tough and she's going through it. God

798
00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:56,080
Speaker 2: you know he is too, But man, that poor girl.

799
00:38:56,120 --> 00:38:59,359
Speaker 1: And we'll see you down the road, won't we? All right? Road?

800
00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:01,319
Speaker 1: How much time do I for?

801
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:01,520
Speaker 3: What?

802
00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:03,600
Speaker 1: Oh?

803
00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:10,560
Speaker 3: To propose? We're not on the same kind of timeline,

804
00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:13,279
Speaker 3: and I won't put you on one. I'll let you

805
00:39:13,320 --> 00:39:21,799
Speaker 3: know when when it's the moment that I feel like

806
00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:22,800
Speaker 3: it needs to happen.

807
00:39:23,560 --> 00:39:27,040
Speaker 2: How much of a heads up, I guess, I don't know.

808
00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:32,319
Speaker 3: I actually can't speak on that in any real way.

809
00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:35,840
Speaker 3: I'm not anywhere close to it. Like we watched the

810
00:39:35,880 --> 00:39:38,839
Speaker 3: show called the Ultimatum, I would never do that.

811
00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:40,160
Speaker 1: Give me an ultimatum.

812
00:39:40,239 --> 00:39:43,440
Speaker 3: No, no, But I just feel like at a certain point, yeah,

813
00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:45,359
Speaker 3: if it runs its course, it runs its course. But

814
00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:48,440
Speaker 3: pressure could never I don't think pressure should ever be

815
00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:51,160
Speaker 3: a part of a decision. So I'll never put the

816
00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:55,239
Speaker 3: pressure on you. You're fine, We're both fine, which we

817
00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:57,400
Speaker 3: do talk about it. We do check in.

818
00:39:57,520 --> 00:39:59,400
Speaker 2: Got another couple of years for marriage?

819
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:02,680
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I don't. I told you this already. I

820
00:40:02,719 --> 00:40:06,040
Speaker 3: don't need a proposal necessarily in any specific amount of time.

821
00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:08,120
Speaker 3: But I have made it very clear that I do

822
00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:09,560
Speaker 3: want to move in with you.

823
00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:12,000
Speaker 1: Oh, that's that's that's not issue.

824
00:40:12,040 --> 00:40:14,839
Speaker 2: But proposal wise, we're good. This is like a it's

825
00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:15,400
Speaker 2: a decision.

826
00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:18,200
Speaker 3: I actually don't expect a proposal. I think we've talked

827
00:40:18,200 --> 00:40:20,839
Speaker 3: about it. I think we'll make the decision. We're we're

828
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:24,920
Speaker 3: grown as adults. We're going to Vegas soon, so I

829
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:28,080
Speaker 3: think that we'll make the decision to get married together.

830
00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:30,839
Speaker 3: I'm not expecting a proposal at all.

831
00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:33,359
Speaker 2: Okay, so time wise on us making the decision, what

832
00:40:33,360 --> 00:40:34,160
Speaker 2: what are we dealing with?

833
00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:37,520
Speaker 3: I think we're we're getting close.

834
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:43,600
Speaker 2: To the ultimatum no her face right now.

835
00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:45,880
Speaker 3: Ultimatum there never will.

836
00:40:45,680 --> 00:40:47,719
Speaker 2: Be Okay, then there will ever be any pressure for

837
00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:48,400
Speaker 2: us to get married.

838
00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:50,960
Speaker 3: No, but I've said I would like to.

839
00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:55,120
Speaker 2: Okay, this was as supposed to happen at the end. Sorry,

840
00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:57,840
Speaker 2: all right, folks, we appreciate you. It's always we're listening

841
00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:01,000
Speaker 2: to Amy and DJ. I guess next episode episode this

842
00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:04,160
Speaker 2: might just be called the Amy Podcast because I might

843
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:04,799
Speaker 2: not be here.

844
00:41:05,640 --> 00:41:06,520
Speaker 1: We'll see you voks.

845
00:41:06,920 --> 00:41:09,080
Speaker 3: All right, have a great day. Everyone be kind to

846
00:41:09,120 --> 00:41:09,480
Speaker 3: each other.