Speaker 1: Hello, Hey, okay, cool, Hey, what's up man? What's your name?
Speaker 2: Oh, my name is Zo. It's y e h u
Speaker 2: where you.
Speaker 1: Call him from? Yahu.
Speaker 2: I'm from the Middle East.
Speaker 1: Oh, very cool. Well part of the Middle East.
Speaker 2: It's uh, it's like around Syria.
Speaker 1: Oh you're near Syria. Yeah, I'm actually I'm excited to
Speaker 1: talk to you because I I'm curious what's going on
Speaker 1: in Syria.
Speaker 3: What's going on?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Politically, No, I mean not politically, just life lifely.
Speaker 1: You know, what's it like when you walk what's it
Speaker 1: like when you step outside of wherever you live and
Speaker 1: walk around?
Speaker 2: Oh? Well, it's actually pretty much connected to what I
Speaker 2: wanted to talk about.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Please.
Speaker 2: I'm doing a year of volunteering in a farm, which
Speaker 2: is like in a three desert y not very desert,
Speaker 2: but there's like kind of an isolated area. The farm
Speaker 2: is like one year into construction, so it's a pretty
Speaker 2: small place. I'm seventeen. I'm I'm doing I'm doing this
Speaker 2: for like about four months now.
Speaker 4: M hmm.
Speaker 2: I'm really happy with with what I'm doing. I'm a
Speaker 2: I'm a shepherd here. I'm in charge of some construction and.
Speaker 3: Animal care. Mm hmm. And what I wanted to talk
Speaker 3: about was.
Speaker 2: Kind of it's been starting to get lonely, which is
Speaker 2: something that it's kind of weird for me to say
Speaker 2: because I've always considered myself an introvert mm hmm, but
Speaker 2: I do find myself starting to.
Speaker 3: Miss people.
Speaker 2: And socializing.
Speaker 1: You said you're seventeen. Huh you said you're seventeen. Yeah,
Speaker 1: are you not in some version of like school?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: No, I'm done with school.
Speaker 1: You're done with school?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm done with a I graduated.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, I was one in October, So okay, just
Speaker 1: a little off. So then what are you are you
Speaker 1: not doing a thing that involves being around other people?
Speaker 2: Well, because as small as the farm is pretty small,
Speaker 2: I don't see a lot of people mostly, And also
Speaker 2: shepherding is also like a pretty lonely task. It's seven
Speaker 2: hours a day from five am to twelve am. It's
Speaker 2: also been very very meditative and peaceful, which I'm very
Speaker 2: very thankful for. It's been very nurturing to meet mentally.
Speaker 3: Mm hmmmm hm, okay, say it is.
Speaker 2: It has been a little tough.
Speaker 1: Does any are you do work completely alone?
Speaker 2: Well, like shepherd?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Done here in the farm yet there are some workers
Speaker 2: that come by. The farmer lives not too far away
Speaker 2: from here, so he comes to live it as much
Speaker 2: as he can.
Speaker 3: But he's like a pretty busy guy. Mm hm.
Speaker 2: M hm.
Speaker 3: Were you have like my own room here?
Speaker 1: Yeah, we were you. Did you have a lot of
Speaker 1: friends when you were in school?
Speaker 2: Yeah, again as this group of a group of friends.
Speaker 2: But now when once everyone like around the age of eighteen,
Speaker 2: everyone has been getting pretty busy with things. You know,
Speaker 2: some university, some even go to the military.
Speaker 3: M hm.
Speaker 2: M hmm. Do you have any I guess tips for
Speaker 2: really that kind of loneliness?
Speaker 1: Well, do you like being a shepherd? I mean, would
Speaker 1: you prefer to be in a job that involves you
Speaker 1: being around other people more than being by yourself?
Speaker 2: I do enjoy my job. Oh, I think I think
Speaker 2: my job is pretty grateful me. I also draw and
Speaker 2: craft a bit.
Speaker 5: I I I.
Speaker 2: Will would so do with what I do you know,
Speaker 2: sitting and walking around nature for seven hours a day?
Speaker 1: Well, I mean listen, yeah, but well, I mean you
Speaker 1: you're you're living a life that is intentionally uh isolated, right,
Speaker 1: I mean that's that seems to be what you're doing?
Speaker 1: Is you? You? You like shepherding. You're walking around alone
Speaker 1: in the woods for hours an hour on end. You know,
Speaker 1: your your life does not involve being around other people.
Speaker 1: You know, you're a really young guy. I don't, I
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know what your options are. I
Speaker 1: don't know what it's like living where you live. But
Speaker 1: I think when you're kind of like designing the life
Speaker 1: that you want to live, you have to keep these
Speaker 1: things in mind. So, uh, there's trade offs. I mean,
Speaker 1: you can you can enjoy you you you can decide
Speaker 1: that you want to go, uh be a shepherd and
Speaker 1: live in the kind of outskirts of town and be
Speaker 1: on your own, but you got to really understand what
Speaker 1: you're choosing, and what you're choosing is isolation, and if
Speaker 1: that's what you want, then that's okay. But that's what
Speaker 1: you're that's what you're choosing.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: Again, I don't, I don't know what your options are
Speaker 1: and what it's like where you live. But if you're
Speaker 1: doing this thing and you're so fucking young man, I mean,
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ, you must have just started doing this thing.
Speaker 1: So take a second for yourself and go, is this
Speaker 1: really the right thing for me to be doing at
Speaker 1: the age of seventeen, to be completely isolating myself and
Speaker 1: not talking to anyone from a morning to evening. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm sure there's a lot of peace to it, but
Speaker 1: like clearly not as much if you're feeling so lonely.
Speaker 2: Right, The first few months have actually been I felt
Speaker 2: pretty ideal. It is something I wanted, and the isolation
Speaker 2: is something that I appreciated. It's always been something that
Speaker 2: I I thought would be pretty great for me, which
Speaker 2: is it has, but it's very recent that feeling that
Speaker 2: I've I've been having And yeah, what you're saying is
Speaker 2: very like nob I just take that in mind and
Speaker 2: apply to the choices I make.
Speaker 3: Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And by the way, dude, you're so fucking young,
Speaker 1: like you can try out different versions of your life,
Speaker 1: and you can do something for a month and then go,
Speaker 1: you know, I thought this is what I wanted, but
Speaker 1: it's really not working for me. Let's see what else
Speaker 1: is out there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course, Well what I'm doing now is in forever.
Speaker 2: It's a it's a volunteering thing to a program.
Speaker 3: That's like for a year. But I do have breaks.
Speaker 2: I do, I do see my family, I do see
Speaker 2: my friends.
Speaker 1: So you're part of a volunteering program. You're part of
Speaker 1: a volunteering program where there's no other people working with you. Yeah, yeah, dude,
Speaker 1: it's that's you don't want you don't want to do that. Dude,
Speaker 1: you don't want to do that. You don't, you can't,
Speaker 1: You're not gonna if you're if the fact that you're
Speaker 1: calling to be like this is not working for me.
Speaker 1: You don't want to live a life where you're not
Speaker 1: around other people. It's not conducive to happiness of any kind.
Speaker 1: I mean, for some people it fucking is. But if
Speaker 1: you were one of those people, we wouldn't be having
Speaker 1: this conversation.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I guess the thing is that I thought I was,
Speaker 2: but turns out i'm not.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't have to sound like you don't have
Speaker 1: to sound so sad about it. Man, you're seventeen fucking
Speaker 1: years old. You can go, you can you can do
Speaker 1: other things with your life. It's all right.
Speaker 2: I don't mean to sound sad. I'm just I'm a
Speaker 2: little tired, that's it.
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm sure. I'm sure you are tired. Man,
Speaker 1: I'm sure you are tired. You're a fucking sheep, shepherd.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm sure you're very tired.
Speaker 2: I think I want to go on with this for
Speaker 2: like a few like maybe a month more, but cool.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I think i'll just I'll try out some
Speaker 2: of the things. Of course, that sounds good. Mm hmm,
Speaker 2: that's more social things.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so you live, you live near Syria. Yeah, what's
Speaker 1: that like?
Speaker 2: Well, it's uh, it's inherently a little isolated from the
Speaker 2: first place, but I do like, I do like it
Speaker 2: around here. It's uh, it's very uh how do you
Speaker 2: say that word community, but like as a as an
Speaker 2: adjective communal? Yes, that well, where we're the town that
Speaker 2: I it's also like a very small place and everyone
Speaker 2: knows each other. M Maybe that's what I miss.
Speaker 1: Yeah, of course. Yeah, that's the best thing in life
Speaker 1: is being around the you're The quality of your life
Speaker 1: is always going to be dictated by the quality of
Speaker 1: the people around you, and you can't exactly be I mean,
Speaker 1: you can be friends with sheep, but that'll drive you insane.
Speaker 1: What's your name again?
Speaker 3: It's yeah, who?
Speaker 1: Yeah, who?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Who.
Speaker 1: I appreciate you sharing this with me. I appreciate you calling.
Speaker 3: Hmm.
Speaker 1: Is there anything else you want to kind of talk
Speaker 1: about in the in this realm.
Speaker 2: I think I think that's it. I think you all
Speaker 2: remember what you said.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, yeah, good go yeah, try to find
Speaker 1: a build a light build try to it's this is okay.
Speaker 1: It's okay to like, especially when you're young, to like
Speaker 1: try something and realize it's not working for you and
Speaker 1: then go do something else.
Speaker 3: So yeah.
Speaker 2: Also, I'm happy with, you know, experiencing different things, even
Speaker 2: those it doesn't turn out to be what I want
Speaker 2: to do.
Speaker 1: No givin. Finding the melancholy in your own isolation.
Speaker 3: Is a.
Speaker 1: What's the word? This is a trend on TikTok A
Speaker 1: core memory? Yeah, core memory. Let's say that a core experience.
Speaker 3: I guess.
Speaker 1: So well, good luck, man, I'll see you around the universe.
Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you, man, have a good one too.
Speaker 1: Man being a sheep shepherd in Syria. There's so many
Speaker 1: different lives that you can live. Hello, Hello, what's up man?
Speaker 1: What's your name? Nick? What's happening with you? Nick? Has life?
Speaker 5: What's overall good?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 1: That's making it good? Overall good?
Speaker 5: Like last year I realized I have free will and
Speaker 5: just kind of blew up my life and moved across
Speaker 5: the country to like, you know, actually do my my
Speaker 5: dreams job and stuff.
Speaker 1: Oh cool, what's okay? Tell me, tell me what that
Speaker 1: looks like, blowing up your life. Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, So I was I was gonna have a pretty
Speaker 5: like bad relationship for six years. And I went home
Speaker 5: to see my family and my partner didn't come with,
Speaker 5: and I realized.
Speaker 3: I was like completely relieved.
Speaker 5: Oh and that's that's not a I realized that's not
Speaker 5: a good way to feel about your partner.
Speaker 6: Yeah yeah, So yeah, I uh, I broke up with them,
Speaker 6: and it was you know, a whole a whole thing
Speaker 6: for sure.
Speaker 5: And I was working a job that I heard at
Speaker 5: the time of in like a cancer research.
Speaker 3: Lab mm hm.
Speaker 5: And uh so they went under and I was out
Speaker 5: of a job completely, just living off the severance for
Speaker 5: a little while. But I went to school for archaeology,
Speaker 5: so I uh, I knew a guy that I worked
Speaker 5: with a couple of years ago, and he hooked me
Speaker 5: up with a job out in California mm hmm doing
Speaker 5: archaeology mm hm. So I uh just kind of left
Speaker 5: everything behind, uh, packed up what I could sit in
Speaker 5: my car and just drove across the country.
Speaker 3: Mm hmm. And then.
Speaker 5: I've been kind of I've been here like half a year.
Speaker 5: It's it's pretty good. You know, I'm chilling. Wish I
Speaker 5: had some more homies.
Speaker 3: Maybe.
Speaker 1: How you said you've been here half a year. Have
Speaker 1: have you been doing anything to try to make any homies?
Speaker 5: Yeah? Yeah, I go to the bars a lot. Uh,
Speaker 5: just talk to random people, and I've met I've met
Speaker 5: some cool, cool dudes, but no, no like real kinship.
Speaker 1: I guess interesting.
Speaker 5: I do have one one good friend, my neighbor. He's like,
Speaker 5: he's a seventy year old dude from Compton and he
Speaker 5: just you know, wants someone to smoke weed and drink
Speaker 5: all day with.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and are you there to provide?
Speaker 5: Of course?
Speaker 3: Of course? Cool trying to like this so all the time.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm hmm. Okay, So are do you how do
Speaker 1: you feel about your decision over the past six months?
Speaker 1: Are you Are you like, okay, I'm I'm glad that
Speaker 1: I decided to do this.
Speaker 5: Yeah, oh definitely. I was living in North Carolina before,
Speaker 5: and you know, I'm sure people are happy in North Carolina,
Speaker 5: but I I kind of hated it there.
Speaker 3: It was it wasn't great.
Speaker 1: Uh why'd you hate it there?
Speaker 5: I don't know. I'm I'm like a big hiker. I
Speaker 5: didn't feel like there were any good hiking spots. The
Speaker 5: people are like nah m hmm. And then obviously there
Speaker 5: were like so many bad memories said with that point that, uh,
Speaker 5: it's so good to not be there anymore.
Speaker 1: Mm hm. So you had this thing where your partner
Speaker 1: wasn't coming with you to a thing and you were relieved,
Speaker 1: and you're like, Okay, that's not a bad that's a
Speaker 1: bad sign. Uh yeah, around are you dating or are you
Speaker 1: going out to try to find a new person? What's
Speaker 1: up with that?
Speaker 5: Yeah, I've been I've been dating a lot. But it's
Speaker 5: bleak out there, man, I'm sure.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well yeah, tell me, tell me what's going on?
Speaker 1: Tell me how about how your experience has been. Why
Speaker 1: is it bleak? The bleak how's the bleakness manifest itself?
Speaker 5: I don't know. I'm I guess I'm a bit of
Speaker 5: a bit of an odd guy. And so far on
Speaker 5: all these dates, if most of them have just been
Speaker 5: like kind of uh you know that sounds mean but
Speaker 5: a little boring, Like they don't have many like interests
Speaker 5: or opinions or hobbies. And then on the other end,
Speaker 5: I meet people who have like way crazier circumstances than me.
Speaker 1: And crazy and what way.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I went on a date with this this one girl,
Speaker 5: and she said we were talking about like music taste,
Speaker 5: and I said, I never make playlists or anything. I
Speaker 5: just kind of like put on my like songs and
Speaker 5: it sounds kind of schizophrenic sometimes, and like her face
Speaker 5: dropped and she was like, I have schizophrenia. And then
Speaker 5: she told me this story about how like she didn't
Speaker 5: know for six months and like the voices had told
Speaker 5: her to like slit her wrists and she like showed
Speaker 5: me she had like these deep scars. But I'm like,
Speaker 5: all the way down her.
Speaker 1: Arm, whoa, yeah, I mean that happens. That happens. That happens.
Speaker 1: It happens. It's not a unique experience, you know, it's
Speaker 1: not a unique experience. How many how many dates have
Speaker 1: you been on here?
Speaker 5: I don't more more than ten, So I've you know,
Speaker 5: I've given given it a good shot. But I don't
Speaker 5: think I want to meet people on tender. It's just
Speaker 5: doesn't feel like anything.
Speaker 1: You're a tender guy, you're not a Hinge guy. I
Speaker 1: feel like Tender Tender is like from college years. Tinder
Speaker 1: feels like like a young a young person's app.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I don't know. I I did Hinge for
Speaker 5: a little bit, but uh, you know, you have to
Speaker 5: like send out the personalized message for every single one,
Speaker 5: and then most of the time you're just never going
Speaker 5: to hear anything back. And it's just like that feels
Speaker 5: even more demoralizing somehow.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, it's not. It's it is truthfully, yes, not
Speaker 1: great out there, that is true. You didn't hear anything
Speaker 1: back on hit. So you've been more successful on the
Speaker 1: tinders than the hinges.
Speaker 5: Granted I I haven't tried hinge recently. I I like,
Speaker 5: post breakup, when I was still like working things out
Speaker 5: in my life. Then I wasn't. I wasn't getting much
Speaker 5: much on either. But I like, you know, did all
Speaker 5: this ship and kind of remade everything, and I say,
Speaker 5: getting a lot of attention on Tinder, but I maybe
Speaker 5: I should reach that hinge.
Speaker 1: I just don't you say that again. You did a
Speaker 1: bunch of shit and then reinvented yourself. What does that mean?
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, you know, I like.
Speaker 5: After being in like a shitty relationship for so long,
Speaker 5: I feel like I lost a lot of my sense
Speaker 5: of identity. Yeah, and I I don't know, I I
Speaker 5: was like really scared of social interaction, especially with people
Speaker 5: I didn't know, and so I just like started forcing
Speaker 5: myself to go out to bar some stuff and just
Speaker 5: like talking to random people cool, you know, even if
Speaker 5: it's just you know, a short conversation.
Speaker 1: Did you go Did you go by yourself to do this?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Yeah most of the time.
Speaker 1: Gutsy, Okay, how'd that go for you? I like this.
Speaker 5: It's it's really hard at first. It's it's like super
Speaker 5: scary at first, but of course it's it gets so
Speaker 5: much easier. And you know, once I feel like, once
Speaker 5: you do, once you can just like talk to a
Speaker 5: random person a couple of minutes, then it becomes so
Speaker 5: much easier to like, I don't know, talk to girls
Speaker 5: are interested to and or you know, try to talk
Speaker 5: to co workers and stuff.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
Speaker 5: So yeah, I just started you know, approaching random people
Speaker 5: at the bar, and it became less scary over time.
Speaker 1: Did you meet any solid romantic interests uh through through this?
Speaker 5: I mm hmm No, not not any solid ones. No,
Speaker 5: mostly I've been interested in this, uh in one of
Speaker 5: my co workers actually, but that's that's like a whole saga.
Speaker 1: I guess why is that a whole saga? What's the saga?
Speaker 5: I don't know, I because sometimes it feels like she's
Speaker 5: into me and then other times not so much. And uh,
Speaker 5: I don't know. I'm you know, it's not happening yet,
Speaker 5: but I don't want to write up the possibility in
Speaker 5: the future, you know, I mean, mm.
Speaker 1: Hmm, okay, what So have you told her that you're
Speaker 1: interested in her romantically?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Yeah, Like so I'm an archaeologist, so we we kind
Speaker 5: of talked about dinosaurs or bones. That's that's like human stuff.
Speaker 5: But yeah, but yeah, so like they they kind of
Speaker 5: send me all around the state, like we don't work
Speaker 5: like in an office or like have co workers most
Speaker 5: of the time. And so she just happened to be
Speaker 5: like in the town I actually live in, and uh,
Speaker 5: and we went out. We went out a few times,
Speaker 5: like just as friends to the bar and I drunkenly
Speaker 5: told her I liked her and uh, and she she
Speaker 5: agreed to come over and I like make dinner for her.
Speaker 5: But then we were like the next day when when sober,
Speaker 5: she said she was still like getting over this this
Speaker 5: guy she had been seeing. So I don't know if
Speaker 5: nothing happening yet, you know, m.
Speaker 1: Hm, Okay, you seem like you're doing I can I
Speaker 1: be honest with you? What's your name again?
Speaker 3: Nick?
Speaker 1: Nick?
Speaker 3: Nick?
Speaker 1: I'm impressed by you. Actually, I think you seem like
Speaker 1: you're actually doing great. I don't know if you think
Speaker 1: that way about your life, but I think you're doing great.
Speaker 5: Oh thanks, man, I know, I really do.
Speaker 1: I think you're putting your Because here's the thing, right,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm gonna quote Monsters University. Can I have your
Speaker 1: permission to Can I have your permission to use literary
Speaker 1: themes from Monsters University and how they may apply to
Speaker 1: your situation?
Speaker 3: Of course, please do so in Monsters University.
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna make a lot of what I'm about
Speaker 1: to say up because I haven't seen that movie in
Speaker 1: about thirty seven years. But in Monsters University, I believe
Speaker 1: Mike Wazowski has a bit of like a jealousy problem
Speaker 1: going on with Sully, right, because Sully is like a jock,
Speaker 1: scary guy, you know, he's he and he's a naturally
Speaker 1: confident dude, Sully. We all know people and we all
Speaker 1: have people like this in our lives that we see
Speaker 1: who you know, they whatever, they're at a bar and
Speaker 1: or they're a thing, and they just naturally they're they're
Speaker 1: they're tall and beautiful, and they exude confidence and everything
Speaker 1: that they do, they just they just do it. It's
Speaker 1: like magic to them. Well, no, it's not even like
Speaker 1: magic to them. It's like nature to them to just
Speaker 1: be this confident, amazing person. Right. That's Sully. And then
Speaker 1: you have Mike Wasowski, who's a tad more meek, a
Speaker 1: tad more naturally nervous, and uh, he works really hard.
Speaker 1: He studies a lot of theory on how to be scary,
Speaker 1: you know, because that's what's valued in the Monsters University
Speaker 1: universes is being scary. And Sully, No, Mike is just
Speaker 1: jealous because Mike's been putting in all this effort to
Speaker 1: achieve these things that Sully is just so naturally inclined to,
Speaker 1: you know, being scary. And and and Mike was Ouski
Speaker 1: he's just through through his own physical limitations. He's not scary.
Speaker 1: I promise this is going somewhere. But there's one point
Speaker 1: in the fucking movie, and I forget exactly what happens.
Speaker 1: But Sully says to I think, I think Mike saves
Speaker 1: Sully's life in some way, shape or form. Something happens.
Speaker 1: I forget. We hold on, give me one second. Well,
Speaker 1: let me look up the Wikipedia page for Monsters University,
Speaker 1: because this, this really touched me and it reminds me
Speaker 1: of you in a way. Okay, it's twenty thirteen. Damn,
Speaker 1: that feels like it wasn't that long ago. Okay, whatever.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Mike sneaks in to the human world full
Speaker 1: of children, and he tries to fucking save Sully. I
Speaker 1: don't know who cares. Okay. Here's the point of what
Speaker 1: I'm trying to say is that at one point, Sully
Speaker 1: says to Mike, he goes listen, like, you may not
Speaker 1: be scary, but you are fearless. And that was touching
Speaker 1: to me, you know what I mean, because look at you, right,
Speaker 1: you might not have that natural if we can sub
Speaker 1: in scariness for confidence, right, you may not have that
Speaker 1: natural Sully scariness that he goes into everything with. You
Speaker 1: might be more of a Mike was Awski, But you're fearless,
Speaker 1: you know, you go into this bar by yourself and
Speaker 1: you start talking to people, you move across the country,
Speaker 1: you abandon your life. You may not do it with
Speaker 1: such confident swagger, but you do it nonetheless because as
Speaker 1: because as Sully says to Mike Wasowski, you are not
Speaker 1: You may not be scary, but you are fearless. And
Speaker 1: so that's why I think your life is like is
Speaker 1: like Monsters University.
Speaker 5: I never thought about it like that before. Yeah, that's beautiful.
Speaker 1: What's your name again?
Speaker 3: Nick? Nick?
Speaker 1: I want to be like you know, you know how
Speaker 1: like Jordan Peterson is famous for like uh whatever, he
Speaker 1: like gives like lectures about the Lion King or whatever.
Speaker 1: I want to do that, but with also I want
Speaker 1: to do that with Disney movies anyway, who cares? All Right,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, what's your name? One more time?
Speaker 4: Nick?
Speaker 3: Nick?
Speaker 1: I'm proud of you, Nick, I'm inspired by you. I
Speaker 1: think you're a good person. I think you're going to
Speaker 1: do well.
Speaker 5: Oh thanks, son, It's it feels so much better. It's
Speaker 5: actually like take steps to improve your life then it
Speaker 5: does to like just sulk about it.
Speaker 2: M hm.
Speaker 1: Go watch Monsters University. I think there's a tie in
Speaker 1: video game too. What's the tie in video.
Speaker 5: That like a PS three game or something.
Speaker 1: In July eleventh of twenty thirteen, Disney's Club Penguin hosted
Speaker 1: a Monsters University Takeover event to promote the film. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's probably offline by now, but anyway, Wow. It grossed
Speaker 1: five hundred million Hong Kongese dollars opening day. All right, well,
Speaker 1: I'm Nick. Yes, is there anything else you want to
Speaker 1: say to the people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 5: If you live in Riting, hitting me up, have a good.
Speaker 1: Wind with your games. Thank you very much for calling.
Speaker 3: All right, love you, bye bye, Nick.
Speaker 1: That really did I. I'm so glad that I had
Speaker 1: the opportunity to talk about Monsters University. Been wanting to
Speaker 1: talk about that for a while. It's a real touching scene.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go watch that movie when I'm done, when
Speaker 1: I'm done, whatever else, whatever I'm doing.
Speaker 3: Hello, Hello, what's up? Have I in?
Speaker 1: You're in? What's your name?
Speaker 3: No fucking way, no fucking way. My name My name
Speaker 3: is Adrian.
Speaker 1: How's life Adrian?
Speaker 3: My life is pretty good right now? Jesus twice my
Speaker 3: heart peaty confect? What she is crazy to me? Okay,
Speaker 3: mine is pretty good?
Speaker 1: Why tell me more about that.
Speaker 3: I reason it took a took a chance to I
Speaker 3: tried dating apps and I met this girl and she
Speaker 3: lives across the country, and so I drove across the
Speaker 3: country to meet her. And she's good.
Speaker 1: Okay, what do you like about this girl?
Speaker 3: She is very funny, she is very beautiful, She has
Speaker 3: same interest as me, and she has a beautiful singing voice.
Speaker 3: She strives to become an artist. And yeah, her voice
Speaker 3: is gorgeous.
Speaker 1: And you drive across it. That was the first time
Speaker 1: meeting her, was driving across the country.
Speaker 3: Yes, after we're spoken for about a week's about nine hours?
Speaker 2: Hm.
Speaker 1: And so what's the plan here? Are you gonna just
Speaker 1: keep driving back and forth nine hours?
Speaker 3: I wall did that once. I've been there two more
Speaker 3: times now, and those two times I flew instead of driving.
Speaker 3: Mm hmm because the driving tip was exhausting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm sure, okay, okay, So is she going to
Speaker 1: come to you now?
Speaker 3: Hopefully one day. But like the school she goes to
Speaker 3: because she's like in I don't know what it would
Speaker 3: be in English, but it's like I don't I don't
Speaker 3: even know. But she she goes to school Monday to Saturday,
Speaker 3: so she kind of only has one day weekend, so
Speaker 3: it's kind of difficult for her to travel here and
Speaker 3: when she has school all the time. Mm hmm. But
Speaker 3: she will come sometime early next year for sure. M hm.
Speaker 1: And what what's your life like? Where are you calling from?
Speaker 1: You have a peculiar phone number, or at least peculiar
Speaker 1: to me as an American.
Speaker 3: I'm calling from Norway, Norway?
Speaker 1: What's going on in Norway? What's happening there.
Speaker 3: Right now? Surprising enough? It's at least where I live.
Speaker 3: There is no snow, which she kind of wouldn't expect
Speaker 3: from Norway because Norway is like known for all the snow.
Speaker 3: Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: Right where and where in Norway? Are you Oslow?
Speaker 3: One hour away from a slow so fairly close?
Speaker 1: Okay? And is this woman a Norwegian woman?
Speaker 3: Yes, she lives in I don't know if you're familiar
Speaker 3: with Norwegian cities, but she lives in Bergen, which is
Speaker 3: like on the Midwest coast.
Speaker 1: Sure, I know I know Bergen from Bergen? Boy? Okay?
Speaker 1: And are you ready? Are you ready to fall in love?
Speaker 3: Did I am falling in love?
Speaker 1: What does that feel like? What does that feel like?
Speaker 1: For falling in love.
Speaker 3: It is, it is exciting, it is. It feels good.
Speaker 3: Mm hmm, feels feels good.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm mm hmm. Have you been in love before?
Speaker 1: Is this your first time in love?
Speaker 3: I haven't been in love to this degree before.
Speaker 1: Now I wouldn't say that interesting.
Speaker 3: This one is different. Why it just feels more real?
Speaker 3: Just the last person I was with had a like
Speaker 3: it was a difficult issue because like her family was
Speaker 3: very very uh non accepting, and so I was kind
Speaker 3: of like in secret and pushed away kind of. So
Speaker 3: it was very very difficult.
Speaker 1: And what were they not accepting of?
Speaker 3: Like she was from Sri Lanka, so they were not
Speaker 3: expecting off having a Norwegian boyfriend because they wanted like
Speaker 3: a successful Sri Lankan guy instead. I guess I see
Speaker 3: they're like very conservative.
Speaker 1: And now this woman does not want a successful Sri
Speaker 1: Lankan guy. She's down for a regular Joe Schmo Bergen boy.
Speaker 1: Although you're not a burg And boy, you're a.
Speaker 3: Oh this is this is my this is my previous relationship.
Speaker 3: So yes matter anyway.
Speaker 1: Yes, so now, but now this woman loves you for
Speaker 1: who you are?
Speaker 3: Yes, what dating apps parents? It's kind of embarrassing because
Speaker 3: my my my colleague was talking about this dating app
Speaker 3: because she had had very bad experiences. I saw, fuck it,
Speaker 3: let's see how bad it is. So I tried it,
Speaker 3: and it's Facebook dating.
Speaker 1: You're not the first. You're not the first Facebook dating
Speaker 1: success story that we've heard on this podcast. Actually, weirdly enough.
Speaker 3: That is surprising.
Speaker 1: Actually, yeah, weirdly enough.
Speaker 3: I didn't really use it for the intent to date.
Speaker 3: It was just using it for trying to see the
Speaker 3: experience my colleague at a to see, like, how bad
Speaker 3: really is it?
Speaker 1: So, how does this relationship compare to the other one
Speaker 1: that you were in?
Speaker 3: This one is? I This one is way better because
Speaker 3: the previous one I can only like be with them
Speaker 3: for hours and had to be in secretly, have to
Speaker 3: like sneak out or like avoid certain people and such.
Speaker 3: On this one, I can just is just open and
Speaker 3: I can actually talk to her, and I can talk
Speaker 3: to her family. I can talk to her friends properly.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm, mm hmmm. So you met this woman's family already.
Speaker 3: No, I'm meeting them in two weeks or twelve days.
Speaker 1: Actually, they're gonna You're gonna go back to Bergen.
Speaker 3: Yeah, No, because she doesn't. She's not from Berg and
Speaker 3: she just lives there for school, so she lives like
Speaker 3: a few hours south. But it's also on the west
Speaker 3: side of Norway. So I'm taking the train over there
Speaker 3: in h in twelve days after Christmas. Cool because in Norway.
Speaker 3: In Norway actually actually eleven days. Eleven days because in
Speaker 3: Norway Christmas is on the twenty fourth. I don't know
Speaker 3: why the US is on the twenty fifth, but I
Speaker 3: know a lot of European countries have it on the
Speaker 3: twenty fourth.
Speaker 1: It's because we have different Jesus.
Speaker 3: That makes a whole lot of sense.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you guys have Norwegian Jesus and we have Americans.
Speaker 1: The biggest difference between American Jesus and Norwegian Jesus is
Speaker 1: that Norwegian Jesus is uh, he's Norwegian.
Speaker 3: Yeah, did you know that? I know that. Now.
Speaker 1: Do you know a lot about Jesus?
Speaker 3: Well, not other than what I've learned in school.
Speaker 1: What did you learn in school about Jesus?
Speaker 3: But he has been born and savior him, sush. I
Speaker 3: don't under much. I didn't really enjoy enjoy religion.
Speaker 1: Did you go to did you go to a religious school?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 3: In most schools in Norway, you can't like in force
Speaker 3: certain religions and such, at least not in elementary school.
Speaker 3: So it's like, it's not that many Christian schools and such.
Speaker 1: So why were you learning about Jesus in school then?
Speaker 3: Because noways a Christian country? Have we learned about all
Speaker 3: the religions?
Speaker 1: What did you learn about Hinduism?
Speaker 2: You're not remember.
Speaker 1: What's your favorite religion? Which religion do you think is correct?
Speaker 3: I am not fond of legion because it cost is
Speaker 3: so much conflict, So I'd like to believe none of them.
Speaker 3: I don't believe there God.
Speaker 1: What's the best between the PlayStation three, the Xbox three
Speaker 1: sixty and the Nintendo Wii.
Speaker 3: I grew up with the PlayStation three, So for me,
Speaker 3: I will I'd say PlayStation three.
Speaker 1: What's your name again?
Speaker 3: My name is Adrian?
Speaker 1: Adrian. I like you, Adrian, you got a good vibe.
Speaker 3: I like you too.
Speaker 1: Man, you're gonna get married, probably to this Facebook lady.
Speaker 1: You guys will have a Yeah, you guys get married.
Speaker 1: You'll buy a two cats. Yeah, I have two cats.
Speaker 1: Get a PlayStation, Get a PlayStation fucking seven. You know
Speaker 1: that'll be good.
Speaker 3: At the time. By that time. It's probably a PlayStation
Speaker 3: only only PlayStation six if if that will be released
Speaker 3: in time, I'm not sure. I want to. I want
Speaker 3: to talk with you about the first time I tried
Speaker 3: to weed a few months ago, I think two months
Speaker 3: ago or something.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm, uh, you tried weed a few months ago.
Speaker 3: Yeah, sure, yes, but the first time ever. And I
Speaker 3: had a terrible experience. Wow, okay, very unpleasant. Like I
Speaker 3: only did, like I think, because I smoked with my
Speaker 3: brothers and their friends, and they're like, they smoke a lot,
Speaker 3: and so they do like they make joints with like
Speaker 3: tobacco and weed, and I'm not I'm not someone who
Speaker 3: uses a nicotine of any kind. So I think it
Speaker 3: was like a mix of being being high and getting
Speaker 3: a nickeo shock. And so I took like only four
Speaker 3: big puffs of these joints and and I was I
Speaker 3: was lost, and I was like dissociating from reality and
Speaker 3: just suddenly like constantly, just suddenly realizing what the fuck
Speaker 3: I'm alive. I was just sitting in the couch, disappearing
Speaker 3: completely for like a minute, and I come back and
Speaker 3: what what the fuck? I just remember that I'm alive,
Speaker 3: but that was just like the first few minutes that
Speaker 3: was that was that was like not too bad experience.
Speaker 3: Then I was I went inside and sat on the
Speaker 3: couch inside, and then I was just in pure agony.
Speaker 3: I was laying there and I could not move, and
Speaker 3: I could not see, and I could not think for myself.
Speaker 3: I was just trapped and I felt this uncomfortable feeling
Speaker 3: in my body constantly, and I don't know what it was.
Speaker 3: And then and then and then, like a few minutes later,
Speaker 3: I just felt like I had to throw up. So
Speaker 3: I just just snapped out of it. Who ran outside,
Speaker 3: threw up everything at Eton that day, and then I
Speaker 3: went to go sleep because and then I just kept
Speaker 3: feeling that horrible feeling in my body. But yeah, I
Speaker 3: don't think I want to try that again.
Speaker 1: Really, I feel like you didn't. You didn't you didn't
Speaker 1: like see visions of Bob Marley and you didn't.
Speaker 3: No, I had no visions. I mean not really, I
Speaker 3: didn't really have any visions. I could feel like, you know,
Speaker 3: you know how you played GTA five and been high
Speaker 3: in GTA five, Yeah, yeah, you know you know that
Speaker 3: silter that you have in GT five high? That's what
Speaker 3: I saw like I saw the g mean like shaky screen.
Speaker 3: I guess mmmm, that was like what I saw constantly.
Speaker 3: Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: How did you get How did you get weed in Norway?
Speaker 1: Because it's not legal there.
Speaker 3: Right, it's not illegal. I don't know how they get it.
Speaker 3: They have their dealers, they buy bags of weed. I
Speaker 3: don't know. I as I said, I smoked with my
Speaker 3: brothers and their friends, so like they got it themselves.
Speaker 3: But people either imported or probably cliented legally.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. What's your name again, Adrian? Adrian? Well, Adrian,
Speaker 1: I wish you a good drug free Norwegian marriage life.
Speaker 1: You're gonna have a good la you to live in
Speaker 1: the countryside with a wife and a PlayStation and no weed,
Speaker 1: and it's going to be good for you. I'm excited
Speaker 1: for you and two cats. Is there anything else you
Speaker 1: want to say to the people of the computer before
Speaker 1: we go.
Speaker 3: I've actually never thought of this. I listened to your
Speaker 3: podcast for four and a half years, for five years
Speaker 3: that I still haven't talked about what so I just
Speaker 3: don't give up, never give up, beautiful, thank you, thank you,
Speaker 3: get go. Also one more thing, I saw you at
Speaker 3: an aquarium the other next week. It was a Green
Speaker 3: Get Go.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, you were like, so, I thought you saw
Speaker 1: me at an aquarium last never been insane? Yeah no, yeah,
Speaker 1: you psakeed me out. Don't psyke me out. Don't psyke
Speaker 1: me out like that. Man, you're sure you're convened. Don't, don't.
Speaker 3: Don't.
Speaker 1: Don't be cute with me about that kind of ship.
Speaker 5: Man.
Speaker 1: You're trying to drive me insane. You're gonna make me
Speaker 1: think I was in Norway or something, you know, driving
Speaker 1: me nuts.
Speaker 2: Bro.
Speaker 3: Maybe maybe it was your brother. I saw Green Get
Speaker 3: Go and and it looked a lot like you.
Speaker 1: I have a good one, Adrian, Good.
Speaker 3: Luck to you have a good one too. Bye bye.
Speaker 1: That freaked me out. I was like, fuck, was I
Speaker 1: in an aquarium in Norway? Maybe I was? You don't
Speaker 1: know me. I don't know me. I don't know where
Speaker 1: I've been aquarium in Norway? I could be at a
Speaker 1: zoo in Russia. I could be anywhere.
Speaker 4: From No, no, hello, Hello.
Speaker 1: What's up? What's your name?
Speaker 3: Oh shit?
Speaker 1: I no, no, no, no? What's going on? No? No nothing?
Speaker 3: GEK?
Speaker 4: How are you?
Speaker 1: I'm doing okay, I'm hanging in there, trying my best.
Speaker 1: Just another day. What's going on with you? No, now,
Speaker 1: how can I get you to then?
Speaker 4: I'll be honest, I called on a whim because, like, uh,
Speaker 4: my partner just left two see their family, and I'm
Speaker 4: pretty much here alone in my house for like first
Speaker 4: time ever.
Speaker 1: Hold on, you're alone in your house for the first
Speaker 1: time ever.
Speaker 4: Because like I used to live with my whole family
Speaker 4: in one building and like they're not far but I'm
Speaker 4: so used to just like going up a floor and
Speaker 4: like now it's just me.
Speaker 3: Mm hmmm.
Speaker 1: So yeah, okay, okay, this is the you how old
Speaker 1: are you?
Speaker 4: Oh, I'm twenty seven.
Speaker 1: You're twenty seven years old, and this is your first
Speaker 1: time ever in the house alone in your entire life?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Man, really, yeah that doesn't make any sense to me.
Speaker 1: How did that? How did that happen? Like when you
Speaker 1: were growing up? Did you never find yourself in the
Speaker 1: house alone at one point? Like do you have a
Speaker 1: bunch of brothers and sisters or something?
Speaker 4: Well, my whole family would live in one building, so
Speaker 4: like if uh, there's usually someone home, mm hmm. So
Speaker 4: like I would just go downstairs and see my grandma,
Speaker 4: or like you know, my sister would usually be in
Speaker 4: the other room or like, uh.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 4: I'd go upstairs and see one of my uncles or
Speaker 4: my cousins. There's usually someone in the house.
Speaker 1: And so where do you live now? Do you live?
Speaker 1: You live with your significant other?
Speaker 4: Yeah, and like, oh oh, I was gonna say, we
Speaker 4: don't live that far from my family, but it's like
Speaker 4: pretty much we live on the other side of town.
Speaker 4: And it's like it's it's a little weird for me,
Speaker 4: I think, I guess mm hmm.
Speaker 1: Y okay. And how long have you been living with
Speaker 1: your significant other?
Speaker 3: Four?
Speaker 4: Uh, we've only been living together for like a few
Speaker 4: months now, m m.
Speaker 1: Okay. And in the entire few months, you've never been
Speaker 1: at the house alone.
Speaker 4: I mean, not for longer than like a few hours?
Speaker 1: Are that I mean that counts. Why is this different
Speaker 1: than a few hours? This is like the whole day
Speaker 1: or alone.
Speaker 4: Well, they're going to be gone for like two weeks.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, all right, so this is your first time
Speaker 1: an extended period of time alone. Okay, yeah, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I see, okay.
Speaker 4: And like I was a little excited to have the
Speaker 4: house to myself, but also a little nervous, but like,
Speaker 4: you know, I got stuff to do here. Yeah, I
Speaker 4: have puzzles. I like drawing, reading. Usually I'll like throw
Speaker 4: on a podcast or music. Well I'm doing ship around
Speaker 4: the house mm.
Speaker 3: Hmmm, mm hmmm.
Speaker 4: I did invite like friends to over to come spend
Speaker 4: like I don't know, like maybe a'll work from home
Speaker 4: or something mm hmm from here.
Speaker 1: And what did they say?
Speaker 4: I have two friends who will probably come over during
Speaker 4: those two weeks at some point. That's nice.
Speaker 3: Mm hmm.
Speaker 4: I could always go visit my sister, m h go
Speaker 4: back to the family house.
Speaker 3: Mm hmmm, yeah, mm hmm.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, And do you like are you you are
Speaker 1: you nervous about being home alone? Like you just like
Speaker 1: with this being the first time, it's it's being a
Speaker 1: thing for you for an extended period of time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like.
Speaker 4: I have like so I get like a pank tax
Speaker 4: sometimes and so like I've been talking to like therapists
Speaker 4: on like how to best deal with those. So I
Speaker 4: guess this is kind of like maybe some kind of
Speaker 4: like weird universe trial for myself.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 4: I mean, I know I'll be okay like in the end,
Speaker 4: but my lizard brain is like, well, well you're gonna
Speaker 4: die and you're all alone and you know kind of
Speaker 4: have to just.
Speaker 3: Git through it. I guess No.
Speaker 1: I mean it's a valuable skill to know how to
Speaker 1: just be alone, you know, Yeah, especially if you've never
Speaker 1: done it before.
Speaker 3: Yeah. And I don't know.
Speaker 4: I guess when I was younger, I was more comfortable
Speaker 4: with being by myself. But I don't know. I feel
Speaker 4: like as an adult, you just are more anxious about
Speaker 4: everything in general.
Speaker 3: So mm hmm.
Speaker 4: You get very set in your ways, and like I
Speaker 4: was used to, like just like I don't know, just
Speaker 4: going upstairs and saying hi to somebody, Like, I don't know.
Speaker 4: My family is much more communal than my partners.
Speaker 1: M hm. So where where is your partner? What are
Speaker 1: they doing?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 4: They're going to the Caribbean to see their their mom.
Speaker 1: Cool. Yeah, well, I mean the ship. I mean, I
Speaker 1: live alone. I'm pretty used to it. I mean, what
Speaker 1: are you gonna? Are you gonna watch porn with sound on?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 4: I guess I could do that if I really really
Speaker 4: wanted to.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 4: Uh, he'll put on music as lot as I want
Speaker 4: to do that. Dance, I got I gotta I got
Speaker 4: a pet, pet snake.
Speaker 1: Are you gonna let him lose.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean he's been he's been loose before. He's
Speaker 4: not He's pretty small, but mm hmm. It's nice to
Speaker 4: just kind of let him wiggle round the house. He's
Speaker 4: very curious.
Speaker 1: He's curious. What's he curious about? I don't know, eating
Speaker 1: rats and people?
Speaker 4: I I suppose. I mean, I don't think he's big
Speaker 4: enough to eat anybody. He's maybe like I don't know,
Speaker 4: like half an inch in diameter.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
Speaker 3: Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: What do you do for a living?
Speaker 4: Uh, I'm not working right now, but I was. I
Speaker 4: was a baker for like almost a decade.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what kind of stuff would you bake?
Speaker 4: We did like Macarons cookies. I've made so much Jeremy
Speaker 4: too in my career. I'm kind of like sick of it.
Speaker 4: But I used to work in like hotels. I usually
Speaker 4: did like large scale production mm hmmm.
Speaker 1: Mmmmm.
Speaker 4: But like, I don't know, I got pretty I got
Speaker 4: pretty tired of doing that. Like it's like it's it's
Speaker 4: a great Like I thought it was a really great experience.
Speaker 3: I don't.
Speaker 4: I don't necessarily regret getting into pastry, but sometimes I
Speaker 4: wish I'd done something different. I don't know, like it's
Speaker 4: I think anyone in the service industry knows, like it's
Speaker 4: very labor intensive.
Speaker 1: Work, yes, and like.
Speaker 4: It's it's just not for me, Like I'm kind of
Speaker 4: a weakling. I guess I don't know.
Speaker 1: No, I understand that I'm also kind of a weakling.
Speaker 1: You know, it is what it is. Sometimes you have
Speaker 1: to just accept that you're kind of a weakling. I
Speaker 1: it's snowing outside and I was like watching I was
Speaker 1: watching someone outside like shoveling all the snow, and I
Speaker 1: was like, shit, I just know, I'm so glad. I'm
Speaker 1: just like, fuck, I just know, I'm like too much
Speaker 1: of a pussy to have, like, uh do do just
Speaker 1: do real shit? You know what I mean?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know. Like my partner is always telling me,
Speaker 4: like you're not built for hard labor. That's my job,
Speaker 4: And I'm like, you, you sit behind a desk, but thanks,
Speaker 4: what do they do? They essentially just sell software?
Speaker 1: Okay, I mean it's a.
Speaker 4: Big boy job.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So what are you most excited about for these
Speaker 1: two weeks?
Speaker 4: I guess just kind of like being able to fully
Speaker 4: relax by myself. Yeah, sometimes you just can't fully relax
Speaker 4: unless you're like entirely by yourself, whether it's like in
Speaker 4: your room or like, I don't know, like maybe have
Speaker 4: the whole house to yourself, kind of like when you're
Speaker 4: like a teenager and your parents leave for the night
Speaker 4: and you get to like sit in the living room
Speaker 4: and watch cartoons at full volume.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, hmm, yeah, that'd be awesome. Is that your plan?
Speaker 1: Or you're gonna watch cartoons at full volume?
Speaker 3: Sure?
Speaker 4: I've been watching the new Fionen Cake just I think
Speaker 4: it's good. Some people don't like it, but I think
Speaker 4: it's good.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm, Okay, So I think mean, I think this
Speaker 1: is a good opportunity for you to experience what it's
Speaker 1: like to live without another person for a bit. I mean,
Speaker 1: are you do would you consider yourself anxiously attached? Uh?
Speaker 4: You know, I'm pretty anxious person in general. I mean
Speaker 4: I don't know, Like I get left alone with my
Speaker 4: thoughts for too long, and my brain loves telling me
Speaker 4: that I'm like two seconds from dying, which I know
Speaker 4: is sake.
Speaker 1: But your brain is telling you that you're two seconds
Speaker 1: from dying.
Speaker 4: I don't know, Like I I started getting like these
Speaker 4: weird panic attacks like a few years back, and I
Speaker 4: did take medication for it for a while, but at
Speaker 4: some point I was like, I kind of want to
Speaker 4: try dealing with this without my meds, and I'm about
Speaker 4: to lose my insurance, so let's stop taking the meds
Speaker 4: for a while.
Speaker 1: Sure, not a bad idea. I guess what kind of
Speaker 1: meds are they?
Speaker 4: They were anti depressants. I was on that good good lexapro.
Speaker 1: Cool.
Speaker 3: Cool.
Speaker 1: What do you how do you normally calm down without
Speaker 1: uh using meds?
Speaker 4: Well, I essentially, I guess I just gotta like let
Speaker 4: myself feel the fear for a little bit, you know,
Speaker 4: like you kind of gotta feel it before I can passed.
Speaker 4: And then I essentially like I feel that fear long
Speaker 4: enough for my bodies like, okay, uh is this actually
Speaker 4: like a false alarm or not dying? And then I
Speaker 4: don't know. Then I'll make myself some tea, but on
Speaker 4: like a podcast or like a chill YouTube video or show,
Speaker 4: you know, get up, maybe take some deep breaths.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, M.
Speaker 4: Like, I know essentially what I have to do. I
Speaker 4: think it's just sometimes my my my brain has a
Speaker 4: hard time believing that everything is fine.
Speaker 1: What happens when you talk to a real therapist about this.
Speaker 4: What I say, Well, they usually well I just started
Speaker 4: talking to a therapist again recently, yeah, and said.
Speaker 2: He was.
Speaker 4: Basically like he'll basically ask me, like how it feels
Speaker 4: in my body when I have anxiety or like when
Speaker 4: I'm feeling like I have like a really hard time
Speaker 4: in general just like telling what emotion I'm feeling. And
Speaker 4: so sometimes I'll feel like a really big emotion and
Speaker 4: like I don't know what it is, so my body
Speaker 4: just immediately defaults to like panic sometimes, Like sometimes I
Speaker 4: get so excited about certain things, like I don't know,
Speaker 4: maybe I'm going to see a concert or something, and
Speaker 4: I get so so excited that my body's like, oh shit, man,
Speaker 4: are we like eying because your heart's like beating really fast. Yeah,
Speaker 4: And I basically have to be like, no, we're not dying,
Speaker 4: but this is really exciting. I think what we're feeling
Speaker 4: is excitement. And I guess my therapist is like, well,
Speaker 4: it helps to like name those emotions first, by like,
Speaker 4: I guess it's like kind of an ongoing process of like, well,
Speaker 4: how do you feel in your body right now? Like
Speaker 4: what sensation is this emotion giving your body? And then
Speaker 4: like you can kind of go from there. I think,
Speaker 4: m I just started talking to them again recently, so
Speaker 4: I think right now my therapist is like trying to
Speaker 4: get to like the root of all my anxiety.
Speaker 1: Well, I hope that I hope that this is like
Speaker 1: good test for you. I suppose being alone for that
Speaker 1: long with your thoughts trying to trying to make them
Speaker 1: a better place to exist.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm like, I don't know. Sometimes I'm like, man,
Speaker 4: being in a corporeal body sucks so much, Like I
Speaker 4: have to feel all these things. I have to like
Speaker 4: digest food and poop and like uh.
Speaker 2: Leap.
Speaker 4: But then my partner's like, well, if you didn't have
Speaker 4: a human body, you wouldn't be able to like, uh
Speaker 4: eat delicious cookies and like uh take warm naps next
Speaker 4: to the radiator. I don't know.
Speaker 1: M hm hm hmm.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean I guess anxiety. You can also cure anxiety
Speaker 1: by uh, you know, jerking off and eating a lot,
Speaker 1: But that's that was really curing. That mainly just pushes
Speaker 1: it away. For that that kind of just yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't know if it gets rid of it exactly.
Speaker 4: I'm not super like, I don't know, I feel like
Speaker 4: eating is like, it's not that I don't want to eat,
Speaker 4: but it's like the sensation that's eating is kind of
Speaker 4: gross to me. Sometimes I don't know, like like just
Speaker 4: a physical bodily sensations. They're just so uncomfortable sometimes.
Speaker 1: What did you say your name was?
Speaker 3: Again? It's no?
Speaker 1: No, no, no? Is it your real name?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 4: That's what everyone calls me.
Speaker 1: Why does everyone call you no?
Speaker 4: No, because it's easier pronounced than my first name?
Speaker 1: Is your first name?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 1: Pataquin? Bodanga bos sure, beautiful?
Speaker 3: No? No?
Speaker 1: Is there anything else you want to say to the
Speaker 1: people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 4: I guess uh, there's like, I'm sure everyone on here
Speaker 4: loves the Internet and loves the free Internet and likes
Speaker 4: to be able to watch cat videos and born without
Speaker 4: your government I d being tied to it. So if
Speaker 4: you care about that, go do bad internet.
Speaker 1: Bill dot com cool okay?
Speaker 4: And uh yeah, and uh live your life, eat good food,
Speaker 4: and sleep well.
Speaker 3: Hock and roll.
Speaker 1: Thank you very much.
Speaker 4: No, no, thanks for talking to me, keek.
Speaker 1: Have a good uh, have a good Ferris Bueller's day off.
Speaker 3: Thanks.
Speaker 4: I hope you have a great day.
Speaker 3: By no, no, see you.
Speaker 4: Goes on the line, thank your phone calls every nine.
Speaker 5: You're like, Money's not really an expert.