WEBVTT - “I AM A SYRIAN SHEPHERD” 0:00:00.040 --> 0:00:03.520 Hello, Hey, okay, cool, Hey, what's up man? What's your name? 0:00:03.920 --> 0:00:06.920 Oh, my name is Zo. It's y e h u 0:00:07.720 --> 0:00:08.000 where you. 0:00:08.039 --> 0:00:08.840 Call him from? Yahu. 0:00:10.280 --> 0:00:12.600 I'm from the Middle East. 0:00:12.840 --> 0:00:15.360 Oh, very cool. Well part of the Middle East. 0:00:15.480 --> 0:00:18.680 It's uh, it's like around Syria. 0:00:19.920 --> 0:00:26.680 Oh you're near Syria. Yeah, I'm actually I'm excited to 0:00:26.720 --> 0:00:32.600 talk to you because I I'm curious what's going on 0:00:33.560 --> 0:00:34.239 in Syria. 0:00:35.000 --> 0:00:35.720 What's going on? 0:00:36.479 --> 0:00:40.720 Yeah? Politically, No, I mean not politically, just life lifely. 0:00:41.479 --> 0:00:43.080 You know, what's it like when you walk what's it 0:00:43.120 --> 0:00:46.239 like when you step outside of wherever you live and 0:00:46.440 --> 0:00:47.080 walk around? 0:00:47.760 --> 0:00:53.400 Oh? Well, it's actually pretty much connected to what I 0:00:53.479 --> 0:00:54.720 wanted to talk about. 0:00:55.120 --> 0:00:55.680 Yeah. Please. 0:00:57.160 --> 0:01:02.880 I'm doing a year of volunteering in a farm, which 0:01:02.920 --> 0:01:08.440 is like in a three desert y not very desert, 0:01:08.520 --> 0:01:14.199 but there's like kind of an isolated area. The farm 0:01:14.400 --> 0:01:16.720 is like one year into construction, so it's a pretty 0:01:16.720 --> 0:01:27.480 small place. I'm seventeen. I'm I'm doing I'm doing this 0:01:27.680 --> 0:01:30.320 for like about four months now. 0:01:31.160 --> 0:01:31.640 M hmm. 0:01:32.920 --> 0:01:36.080 I'm really happy with with what I'm doing. I'm a 0:01:36.520 --> 0:01:40.920 I'm a shepherd here. I'm in charge of some construction and. 0:01:42.840 --> 0:01:53.240 Animal care. Mm hmm. And what I wanted to talk 0:01:53.280 --> 0:01:53.920 about was. 0:01:56.880 --> 0:02:03.640 Kind of it's been starting to get lonely, which is 0:02:03.720 --> 0:02:06.600 something that it's kind of weird for me to say 0:02:06.600 --> 0:02:12.440 because I've always considered myself an introvert mm hmm, but 0:02:12.560 --> 0:02:14.440 I do find myself starting to. 0:02:17.000 --> 0:02:18.239 Miss people. 0:02:19.840 --> 0:02:20.880 And socializing. 0:02:22.080 --> 0:02:29.880 You said you're seventeen. Huh you said you're seventeen. Yeah, 0:02:30.760 --> 0:02:33.520 are you not in some version of like school? 0:02:35.880 --> 0:02:36.040 Oh? 0:02:36.080 --> 0:02:37.160 No, I'm done with school. 0:02:38.240 --> 0:02:39.160 You're done with school? 0:02:41.120 --> 0:02:43.960 Yeah, I'm done with a I graduated. 0:02:44.919 --> 0:02:50.080 Oh okay, I was one in October, So okay, just 0:02:50.360 --> 0:02:59.600 a little off. So then what are you are you 0:02:59.680 --> 0:03:02.880 not doing a thing that involves being around other people? 0:03:05.080 --> 0:03:08.280 Well, because as small as the farm is pretty small, 0:03:09.320 --> 0:03:12.840 I don't see a lot of people mostly, And also 0:03:12.960 --> 0:03:17.320 shepherding is also like a pretty lonely task. It's seven 0:03:17.320 --> 0:03:21.560 hours a day from five am to twelve am. It's 0:03:21.560 --> 0:03:25.640 also been very very meditative and peaceful, which I'm very 0:03:25.720 --> 0:03:29.840 very thankful for. It's been very nurturing to meet mentally. 0:03:30.720 --> 0:03:33.920 Mm hmmmm hm, okay, say it is. 0:03:35.280 --> 0:03:37.800 It has been a little tough. 0:03:40.000 --> 0:03:42.520 Does any are you do work completely alone? 0:03:45.440 --> 0:03:46.400 Well, like shepherd? 0:03:46.480 --> 0:03:46.680 Yeah? 0:03:47.920 --> 0:03:51.960 Done here in the farm yet there are some workers 0:03:51.960 --> 0:03:55.560 that come by. The farmer lives not too far away 0:03:55.560 --> 0:03:58.000 from here, so he comes to live it as much 0:03:58.000 --> 0:03:58.560 as he can. 0:03:59.320 --> 0:04:02.640 But he's like a pretty busy guy. Mm hm. 0:04:04.640 --> 0:04:04.960 M hm. 0:04:07.040 --> 0:04:09.320 Were you have like my own room here? 0:04:10.160 --> 0:04:15.120 Yeah, we were you. Did you have a lot of 0:04:15.160 --> 0:04:16.600 friends when you were in school? 0:04:19.800 --> 0:04:23.920 Yeah, again as this group of a group of friends. 0:04:27.320 --> 0:04:33.159 But now when once everyone like around the age of eighteen, 0:04:34.160 --> 0:04:38.120 everyone has been getting pretty busy with things. You know, 0:04:38.279 --> 0:04:42.839 some university, some even go to the military. 0:04:43.800 --> 0:04:44.240 M hm. 0:04:46.160 --> 0:04:53.120 M hmm. Do you have any I guess tips for 0:04:54.560 --> 0:04:56.280 really that kind of loneliness? 0:04:57.800 --> 0:05:03.360 Well, do you like being a shepherd? I mean, would 0:05:03.400 --> 0:05:05.479 you prefer to be in a job that involves you 0:05:05.560 --> 0:05:09.000 being around other people more than being by yourself? 0:05:11.960 --> 0:05:17.279 I do enjoy my job. Oh, I think I think 0:05:17.320 --> 0:05:21.040 my job is pretty grateful me. I also draw and 0:05:22.880 --> 0:05:23.640 craft a bit. 0:05:23.760 --> 0:05:26.960 I I I. 0:05:25.800 --> 0:05:31.479 Will would so do with what I do you know, 0:05:31.640 --> 0:05:35.479 sitting and walking around nature for seven hours a day? 0:05:37.600 --> 0:05:41.760 Well, I mean listen, yeah, but well, I mean you 0:05:41.760 --> 0:05:47.120 you're you're living a life that is intentionally uh isolated, right, 0:05:47.800 --> 0:05:52.760 I mean that's that seems to be what you're doing? 0:05:52.880 --> 0:05:57.560 Is you? You? You like shepherding. You're walking around alone 0:05:57.600 --> 0:06:00.839 in the woods for hours an hour on end. You know, 0:06:00.920 --> 0:06:04.880 your your life does not involve being around other people. 0:06:06.279 --> 0:06:07.720 You know, you're a really young guy. I don't, I 0:06:07.720 --> 0:06:10.680 don't know. I don't know what your options are. I 0:06:10.680 --> 0:06:13.599 don't know what it's like living where you live. But 0:06:16.200 --> 0:06:20.320 I think when you're kind of like designing the life 0:06:20.360 --> 0:06:22.920 that you want to live, you have to keep these 0:06:22.920 --> 0:06:26.000 things in mind. So, uh, there's trade offs. I mean, 0:06:26.040 --> 0:06:29.920 you can you can enjoy you you you can decide 0:06:29.920 --> 0:06:34.719 that you want to go, uh be a shepherd and 0:06:35.040 --> 0:06:39.839 live in the kind of outskirts of town and be 0:06:39.920 --> 0:06:42.400 on your own, but you got to really understand what 0:06:42.440 --> 0:06:45.880 you're choosing, and what you're choosing is isolation, and if 0:06:45.920 --> 0:06:48.520 that's what you want, then that's okay. But that's what 0:06:48.640 --> 0:06:50.479 you're that's what you're choosing. 0:06:50.880 --> 0:06:51.120 You know. 0:06:51.360 --> 0:06:53.080 Again, I don't, I don't know what your options are 0:06:53.080 --> 0:06:55.880 and what it's like where you live. But if you're 0:06:56.000 --> 0:06:58.440 doing this thing and you're so fucking young man, I mean, 0:06:58.520 --> 0:07:02.760 Jesus Christ, you must have just started doing this thing. 0:07:03.080 --> 0:07:08.480 So take a second for yourself and go, is this 0:07:08.600 --> 0:07:10.520 really the right thing for me to be doing at 0:07:10.520 --> 0:07:14.720 the age of seventeen, to be completely isolating myself and 0:07:14.760 --> 0:07:21.520 not talking to anyone from a morning to evening. I mean, 0:07:21.520 --> 0:07:23.200 I'm sure there's a lot of peace to it, but 0:07:23.400 --> 0:07:28.520 like clearly not as much if you're feeling so lonely. 0:07:30.600 --> 0:07:36.640 Right, The first few months have actually been I felt 0:07:36.800 --> 0:07:41.040 pretty ideal. It is something I wanted, and the isolation 0:07:41.280 --> 0:07:45.400 is something that I appreciated. It's always been something that 0:07:45.440 --> 0:07:50.120 I I thought would be pretty great for me, which 0:07:50.160 --> 0:07:54.000 is it has, but it's very recent that feeling that 0:07:54.040 --> 0:07:58.800 I've I've been having And yeah, what you're saying is 0:07:59.000 --> 0:08:03.320 very like nob I just take that in mind and 0:08:04.400 --> 0:08:06.000 apply to the choices I make. 0:08:06.880 --> 0:08:07.320 Mm hmm. 0:08:08.880 --> 0:08:12.280 Yeah. And by the way, dude, you're so fucking young, 0:08:12.360 --> 0:08:15.280 like you can try out different versions of your life, 0:08:15.760 --> 0:08:17.800 and you can do something for a month and then go, 0:08:17.920 --> 0:08:19.320 you know, I thought this is what I wanted, but 0:08:19.360 --> 0:08:21.360 it's really not working for me. Let's see what else 0:08:21.440 --> 0:08:22.000 is out there. 0:08:23.680 --> 0:08:26.800 Yeah, of course, Well what I'm doing now is in forever. 0:08:27.080 --> 0:08:31.760 It's a it's a volunteering thing to a program. 0:08:31.320 --> 0:08:35.520 That's like for a year. But I do have breaks. 0:08:35.720 --> 0:08:38.560 I do, I do see my family, I do see 0:08:38.600 --> 0:08:39.319 my friends. 0:08:39.640 --> 0:08:41.520 So you're part of a volunteering program. You're part of 0:08:41.520 --> 0:08:50.880 a volunteering program where there's no other people working with you. Yeah, yeah, dude, 0:08:51.000 --> 0:08:53.680 it's that's you don't want you don't want to do that. Dude, 0:08:53.920 --> 0:08:56.520 you don't want to do that. You don't, you can't, 0:08:56.640 --> 0:08:59.440 You're not gonna if you're if the fact that you're 0:08:59.520 --> 0:09:03.040 calling to be like this is not working for me. 0:09:03.080 --> 0:09:04.480 You don't want to live a life where you're not 0:09:04.520 --> 0:09:11.920 around other people. It's not conducive to happiness of any kind. 0:09:13.120 --> 0:09:15.440 I mean, for some people it fucking is. But if 0:09:15.840 --> 0:09:17.760 you were one of those people, we wouldn't be having 0:09:17.760 --> 0:09:18.479 this conversation. 0:09:20.200 --> 0:09:20.400 Yeah. 0:09:20.600 --> 0:09:22.560 I guess the thing is that I thought I was, 0:09:22.679 --> 0:09:24.720 but turns out i'm not. 0:09:26.160 --> 0:09:28.720 Yeah, you don't have to sound like you don't have 0:09:28.760 --> 0:09:31.440 to sound so sad about it. Man, you're seventeen fucking 0:09:31.600 --> 0:09:35.520 years old. You can go, you can you can do 0:09:35.600 --> 0:09:38.520 other things with your life. It's all right. 0:09:40.040 --> 0:09:42.120 I don't mean to sound sad. I'm just I'm a 0:09:42.160 --> 0:09:43.040 little tired, that's it. 0:09:43.080 --> 0:09:45.480 I'm not I'm sure. I'm sure you are tired. Man, 0:09:45.960 --> 0:09:48.640 I'm sure you are tired. You're a fucking sheep, shepherd. 0:09:49.600 --> 0:09:53.120 You know, I'm sure you're very tired. 0:09:55.000 --> 0:09:56.840 I think I want to go on with this for 0:09:57.000 --> 0:10:00.320 like a few like maybe a month more, but cool. 0:10:02.920 --> 0:10:06.840 But yeah, I think i'll just I'll try out some 0:10:06.880 --> 0:10:11.480 of the things. Of course, that sounds good. Mm hmm, 0:10:12.640 --> 0:10:14.080 that's more social things. 0:10:14.840 --> 0:10:23.040 Yeah, so you live, you live near Syria. Yeah, what's 0:10:23.040 --> 0:10:23.480 that like? 0:10:26.760 --> 0:10:31.600 Well, it's uh, it's inherently a little isolated from the 0:10:31.600 --> 0:10:36.920 first place, but I do like, I do like it 0:10:36.960 --> 0:10:45.680 around here. It's uh, it's very uh how do you 0:10:45.720 --> 0:10:52.120 say that word community, but like as a as an 0:10:52.120 --> 0:10:59.720 adjective communal? Yes, that well, where we're the town that 0:10:59.760 --> 0:11:04.400 I it's also like a very small place and everyone 0:11:04.480 --> 0:11:08.040 knows each other. M Maybe that's what I miss. 0:11:08.320 --> 0:11:10.720 Yeah, of course. Yeah, that's the best thing in life 0:11:10.840 --> 0:11:13.280 is being around the you're The quality of your life 0:11:13.320 --> 0:11:15.360 is always going to be dictated by the quality of 0:11:15.400 --> 0:11:18.560 the people around you, and you can't exactly be I mean, 0:11:18.559 --> 0:11:23.520 you can be friends with sheep, but that'll drive you insane. 0:11:24.440 --> 0:11:25.319 What's your name again? 0:11:27.200 --> 0:11:27.920 It's yeah, who? 0:11:28.440 --> 0:11:28.880 Yeah, who? 0:11:29.760 --> 0:11:29.960 Yeah? 0:11:30.000 --> 0:11:30.160 Who. 0:11:31.400 --> 0:11:33.840 I appreciate you sharing this with me. I appreciate you calling. 0:11:35.720 --> 0:11:36.000 Hmm. 0:11:36.200 --> 0:11:38.760 Is there anything else you want to kind of talk 0:11:38.800 --> 0:11:43.160 about in the in this realm. 0:11:43.320 --> 0:11:45.800 I think I think that's it. I think you all 0:11:45.840 --> 0:11:46.839 remember what you said. 0:11:47.280 --> 0:11:50.480 Okay, all right, yeah, good go yeah, try to find 0:11:50.520 --> 0:11:53.280 a build a light build try to it's this is okay. 0:11:53.360 --> 0:11:56.000 It's okay to like, especially when you're young, to like 0:11:56.520 --> 0:11:59.160 try something and realize it's not working for you and 0:11:59.160 --> 0:12:00.320 then go do something else. 0:12:00.800 --> 0:12:03.280 So yeah. 0:12:03.559 --> 0:12:07.440 Also, I'm happy with, you know, experiencing different things, even 0:12:07.480 --> 0:12:10.160 those it doesn't turn out to be what I want 0:12:10.200 --> 0:12:10.480 to do. 0:12:10.920 --> 0:12:15.720 No givin. Finding the melancholy in your own isolation. 0:12:15.440 --> 0:12:15.640 Is a. 0:12:19.120 --> 0:12:22.559 What's the word? This is a trend on TikTok A 0:12:23.160 --> 0:12:26.800 core memory? Yeah, core memory. Let's say that a core experience. 0:12:28.760 --> 0:12:29.120 I guess. 0:12:29.120 --> 0:12:35.720 So well, good luck, man, I'll see you around the universe. 0:12:37.400 --> 0:12:40.760 Yeah, thank you, man, have a good one too. 0:12:42.559 --> 0:12:47.120 Man being a sheep shepherd in Syria. There's so many 0:12:47.160 --> 0:12:53.319 different lives that you can live. Hello, Hello, what's up man? 0:12:53.360 --> 0:12:57.160 What's your name? Nick? What's happening with you? Nick? Has life? 0:12:57.559 --> 0:12:59.040 What's overall good? 0:12:59.080 --> 0:12:59.280 You know? 0:13:00.080 --> 0:13:02.120 That's making it good? Overall good? 0:13:03.160 --> 0:13:07.560 Like last year I realized I have free will and 0:13:09.120 --> 0:13:11.760 just kind of blew up my life and moved across 0:13:11.800 --> 0:13:15.800 the country to like, you know, actually do my my 0:13:15.920 --> 0:13:16.920 dreams job and stuff. 0:13:18.640 --> 0:13:21.520 Oh cool, what's okay? Tell me, tell me what that 0:13:21.559 --> 0:13:24.839 looks like, blowing up your life. Yeah. 0:13:25.040 --> 0:13:27.800 Yeah, So I was I was gonna have a pretty 0:13:28.320 --> 0:13:37.120 like bad relationship for six years. And I went home 0:13:37.160 --> 0:13:40.440 to see my family and my partner didn't come with, 0:13:40.760 --> 0:13:43.120 and I realized. 0:13:42.760 --> 0:13:45.440 I was like completely relieved. 0:13:46.160 --> 0:13:50.680 Oh and that's that's not a I realized that's not 0:13:50.720 --> 0:13:52.400 a good way to feel about your partner. 0:13:52.920 --> 0:14:02.560 Yeah yeah, So yeah, I uh, I broke up with them, 0:14:02.880 --> 0:14:05.800 and it was you know, a whole a whole thing 0:14:05.880 --> 0:14:06.319 for sure. 0:14:07.320 --> 0:14:10.679 And I was working a job that I heard at 0:14:10.679 --> 0:14:13.120 the time of in like a cancer research. 0:14:12.760 --> 0:14:14.959 Lab mm hm. 0:14:15.480 --> 0:14:23.080 And uh so they went under and I was out 0:14:23.120 --> 0:14:25.920 of a job completely, just living off the severance for 0:14:25.920 --> 0:14:31.760 a little while. But I went to school for archaeology, 0:14:31.960 --> 0:14:36.360 so I uh, I knew a guy that I worked 0:14:36.360 --> 0:14:37.800 with a couple of years ago, and he hooked me 0:14:37.840 --> 0:14:42.720 up with a job out in California mm hmm doing 0:14:42.800 --> 0:14:48.760 archaeology mm hm. So I uh just kind of left 0:14:48.800 --> 0:14:52.360 everything behind, uh, packed up what I could sit in 0:14:52.360 --> 0:14:54.880 my car and just drove across the country. 0:14:55.480 --> 0:15:00.120 Mm hmm. And then. 0:15:02.480 --> 0:15:04.880 I've been kind of I've been here like half a year. 0:15:06.160 --> 0:15:11.000 It's it's pretty good. You know, I'm chilling. Wish I 0:15:11.080 --> 0:15:12.880 had some more homies. 0:15:12.880 --> 0:15:13.240 Maybe. 0:15:15.640 --> 0:15:19.160 How you said you've been here half a year. Have 0:15:19.160 --> 0:15:21.680 have you been doing anything to try to make any homies? 0:15:23.480 --> 0:15:27.720 Yeah? Yeah, I go to the bars a lot. Uh, 0:15:28.320 --> 0:15:31.880 just talk to random people, and I've met I've met 0:15:31.920 --> 0:15:37.320 some cool, cool dudes, but no, no like real kinship. 0:15:37.400 --> 0:15:39.200 I guess interesting. 0:15:40.200 --> 0:15:43.640 I do have one one good friend, my neighbor. He's like, 0:15:44.800 --> 0:15:49.800 he's a seventy year old dude from Compton and he 0:15:49.960 --> 0:15:53.680 just you know, wants someone to smoke weed and drink 0:15:53.760 --> 0:15:54.280 all day with. 0:15:55.880 --> 0:15:59.200 Yeah, and are you there to provide? 0:15:59.600 --> 0:16:00.000 Of course? 0:16:00.200 --> 0:16:03.000 Of course? Cool trying to like this so all the time. 0:16:03.560 --> 0:16:11.160 Mm hmmm hmm. Okay, So are do you how do 0:16:11.200 --> 0:16:14.520 you feel about your decision over the past six months? 0:16:14.520 --> 0:16:17.400 Are you Are you like, okay, I'm I'm glad that 0:16:17.480 --> 0:16:19.720 I decided to do this. 0:16:21.600 --> 0:16:26.960 Yeah, oh definitely. I was living in North Carolina before, 0:16:27.280 --> 0:16:32.680 and you know, I'm sure people are happy in North Carolina, 0:16:32.760 --> 0:16:34.720 but I I kind of hated it there. 0:16:34.880 --> 0:16:37.440 It was it wasn't great. 0:16:38.640 --> 0:16:39.800 Uh why'd you hate it there? 0:16:44.560 --> 0:16:46.520 I don't know. I'm I'm like a big hiker. I 0:16:46.560 --> 0:16:50.120 didn't feel like there were any good hiking spots. The 0:16:50.160 --> 0:16:58.160 people are like nah m hmm. And then obviously there 0:16:58.160 --> 0:17:02.360 were like so many bad memories said with that point that, uh, 0:17:02.520 --> 0:17:04.240 it's so good to not be there anymore. 0:17:04.800 --> 0:17:11.720 Mm hm. So you had this thing where your partner 0:17:12.600 --> 0:17:15.040 wasn't coming with you to a thing and you were relieved, 0:17:15.440 --> 0:17:17.000 and you're like, Okay, that's not a bad that's a 0:17:17.040 --> 0:17:21.199 bad sign. Uh yeah, around are you dating or are you 0:17:21.359 --> 0:17:24.520 going out to try to find a new person? What's 0:17:24.560 --> 0:17:24.919 up with that? 0:17:26.760 --> 0:17:30.040 Yeah, I've been I've been dating a lot. But it's 0:17:30.080 --> 0:17:31.800 bleak out there, man, I'm sure. 0:17:31.840 --> 0:17:34.479 Yeah, Well yeah, tell me, tell me what's going on? 0:17:35.040 --> 0:17:37.560 Tell me how about how your experience has been. Why 0:17:37.640 --> 0:17:41.040 is it bleak? The bleak how's the bleakness manifest itself? 0:17:42.720 --> 0:17:44.760 I don't know. I'm I guess I'm a bit of 0:17:44.840 --> 0:17:49.240 a bit of an odd guy. And so far on 0:17:49.280 --> 0:17:53.160 all these dates, if most of them have just been 0:17:53.240 --> 0:17:57.760 like kind of uh you know that sounds mean but 0:17:57.880 --> 0:18:01.720 a little boring, Like they don't have many like interests 0:18:01.840 --> 0:18:07.600 or opinions or hobbies. And then on the other end, 0:18:07.800 --> 0:18:14.280 I meet people who have like way crazier circumstances than me. 0:18:15.600 --> 0:18:21.000 And crazy and what way. 0:18:21.160 --> 0:18:25.200 Yeah, I went on a date with this this one girl, 0:18:25.640 --> 0:18:30.800 and she said we were talking about like music taste, 0:18:30.840 --> 0:18:34.439 and I said, I never make playlists or anything. I 0:18:34.480 --> 0:18:36.159 just kind of like put on my like songs and 0:18:36.200 --> 0:18:40.480 it sounds kind of schizophrenic sometimes, and like her face 0:18:40.640 --> 0:18:45.359 dropped and she was like, I have schizophrenia. And then 0:18:45.800 --> 0:18:47.960 she told me this story about how like she didn't 0:18:48.000 --> 0:18:53.119 know for six months and like the voices had told 0:18:53.200 --> 0:18:55.560 her to like slit her wrists and she like showed 0:18:55.600 --> 0:18:57.639 me she had like these deep scars. But I'm like, 0:18:57.640 --> 0:18:58.360 all the way down her. 0:18:58.359 --> 0:19:06.560 Arm, whoa, yeah, I mean that happens. That happens. That happens. 0:19:06.800 --> 0:19:10.320 It happens. It's not a unique experience, you know, it's 0:19:10.359 --> 0:19:15.399 not a unique experience. How many how many dates have 0:19:15.440 --> 0:19:17.880 you been on here? 0:19:21.760 --> 0:19:25.320 I don't more more than ten, So I've you know, 0:19:25.359 --> 0:19:27.960 I've given given it a good shot. But I don't 0:19:27.960 --> 0:19:29.560 think I want to meet people on tender. It's just 0:19:29.600 --> 0:19:32.120 doesn't feel like anything. 0:19:33.040 --> 0:19:34.840 You're a tender guy, you're not a Hinge guy. I 0:19:34.840 --> 0:19:37.760 feel like Tender Tender is like from college years. Tinder 0:19:37.760 --> 0:19:40.560 feels like like a young a young person's app. 0:19:41.800 --> 0:19:47.840 Yeah, yeah, I don't know. I I did Hinge for 0:19:47.840 --> 0:19:51.320 a little bit, but uh, you know, you have to 0:19:51.359 --> 0:19:54.240 like send out the personalized message for every single one, 0:19:54.440 --> 0:19:57.119 and then most of the time you're just never going 0:19:57.200 --> 0:19:59.479 to hear anything back. And it's just like that feels 0:19:59.520 --> 0:20:01.240 even more demoralizing somehow. 0:20:02.400 --> 0:20:05.840 Yeah, no, it's not. It's it is truthfully, yes, not 0:20:05.920 --> 0:20:11.359 great out there, that is true. You didn't hear anything 0:20:11.400 --> 0:20:13.720 back on hit. So you've been more successful on the 0:20:13.800 --> 0:20:15.080 tinders than the hinges. 0:20:18.840 --> 0:20:24.720 Granted I I haven't tried hinge recently. I I like, 0:20:24.960 --> 0:20:28.959 post breakup, when I was still like working things out 0:20:29.119 --> 0:20:31.639 in my life. Then I wasn't. I wasn't getting much 0:20:33.480 --> 0:20:36.479 much on either. But I like, you know, did all 0:20:36.480 --> 0:20:41.880 this ship and kind of remade everything, and I say, 0:20:41.920 --> 0:20:45.359 getting a lot of attention on Tinder, but I maybe 0:20:45.359 --> 0:20:46.399 I should reach that hinge. 0:20:46.440 --> 0:20:49.720 I just don't you say that again. You did a 0:20:49.760 --> 0:20:53.400 bunch of shit and then reinvented yourself. What does that mean? 0:20:54.880 --> 0:20:56.240 Yeah, well, you know, I like. 0:21:00.320 --> 0:21:02.720 After being in like a shitty relationship for so long, 0:21:03.040 --> 0:21:06.280 I feel like I lost a lot of my sense 0:21:06.320 --> 0:21:16.240 of identity. Yeah, and I I don't know, I I 0:21:16.359 --> 0:21:21.600 was like really scared of social interaction, especially with people 0:21:21.600 --> 0:21:24.600 I didn't know, and so I just like started forcing 0:21:24.640 --> 0:21:27.320 myself to go out to bar some stuff and just 0:21:27.359 --> 0:21:30.320 like talking to random people cool, you know, even if 0:21:30.359 --> 0:21:34.560 it's just you know, a short conversation. 0:21:35.000 --> 0:21:36.760 Did you go Did you go by yourself to do this? 0:21:38.160 --> 0:21:38.440 Yeah? 0:21:38.520 --> 0:21:39.400 Yeah most of the time. 0:21:39.720 --> 0:21:41.919 Gutsy, Okay, how'd that go for you? I like this. 0:21:45.080 --> 0:21:47.879 It's it's really hard at first. It's it's like super 0:21:47.880 --> 0:21:52.280 scary at first, but of course it's it gets so 0:21:52.359 --> 0:21:56.840 much easier. And you know, once I feel like, once 0:21:56.880 --> 0:21:59.119 you do, once you can just like talk to a 0:21:59.160 --> 0:22:01.639 random person a couple of minutes, then it becomes so 0:22:01.720 --> 0:22:05.440 much easier to like, I don't know, talk to girls 0:22:05.480 --> 0:22:09.840 are interested to and or you know, try to talk 0:22:09.920 --> 0:22:11.439 to co workers and stuff. 0:22:12.240 --> 0:22:12.640 Mm hmm. 0:22:15.160 --> 0:22:17.920 So yeah, I just started you know, approaching random people 0:22:17.920 --> 0:22:22.960 at the bar, and it became less scary over time. 0:22:24.440 --> 0:22:29.480 Did you meet any solid romantic interests uh through through this? 0:22:34.040 --> 0:22:43.440 I mm hmm No, not not any solid ones. No, 0:22:43.600 --> 0:22:46.280 mostly I've been interested in this, uh in one of 0:22:46.280 --> 0:22:51.560 my co workers actually, but that's that's like a whole saga. 0:22:51.600 --> 0:22:54.960 I guess why is that a whole saga? What's the saga? 0:22:58.560 --> 0:23:03.440 I don't know, I because sometimes it feels like she's 0:23:03.440 --> 0:23:09.239 into me and then other times not so much. And uh, 0:23:11.119 --> 0:23:15.560 I don't know. I'm you know, it's not happening yet, 0:23:15.640 --> 0:23:19.240 but I don't want to write up the possibility in 0:23:19.280 --> 0:23:21.679 the future, you know, I mean, mm. 0:23:21.600 --> 0:23:30.160 Hmm, okay, what So have you told her that you're 0:23:30.240 --> 0:23:31.840 interested in her romantically? 0:23:34.280 --> 0:23:34.560 Yeah? 0:23:34.920 --> 0:23:39.600 Yeah, Like so I'm an archaeologist, so we we kind 0:23:39.600 --> 0:23:45.000 of talked about dinosaurs or bones. That's that's like human stuff. 0:23:45.080 --> 0:23:51.080 But yeah, but yeah, so like they they kind of 0:23:51.119 --> 0:23:53.160 send me all around the state, like we don't work 0:23:53.400 --> 0:23:56.080 like in an office or like have co workers most 0:23:56.119 --> 0:24:01.080 of the time. And so she just happened to be 0:24:01.200 --> 0:24:04.160 like in the town I actually live in, and uh, 0:24:05.160 --> 0:24:07.280 and we went out. We went out a few times, 0:24:07.560 --> 0:24:11.159 like just as friends to the bar and I drunkenly 0:24:12.200 --> 0:24:16.080 told her I liked her and uh, and she she 0:24:16.119 --> 0:24:20.080 agreed to come over and I like make dinner for her. 0:24:20.080 --> 0:24:25.199 But then we were like the next day when when sober, 0:24:25.320 --> 0:24:27.800 she said she was still like getting over this this 0:24:27.880 --> 0:24:33.400 guy she had been seeing. So I don't know if 0:24:34.320 --> 0:24:36.879 nothing happening yet, you know, m. 0:24:37.040 --> 0:24:42.320 Hm, Okay, you seem like you're doing I can I 0:24:42.320 --> 0:24:43.480 be honest with you? What's your name again? 0:24:44.680 --> 0:24:44.880 Nick? 0:24:45.400 --> 0:24:45.640 Nick? 0:24:45.920 --> 0:24:46.120 Nick? 0:24:46.240 --> 0:24:48.720 I'm impressed by you. Actually, I think you seem like 0:24:48.720 --> 0:24:50.320 you're actually doing great. I don't know if you think 0:24:50.359 --> 0:24:52.240 that way about your life, but I think you're doing great. 0:24:53.320 --> 0:24:55.320 Oh thanks, man, I know, I really do. 0:24:55.400 --> 0:24:58.240 I think you're putting your Because here's the thing, right, 0:24:59.800 --> 0:25:05.480 I'm I'm gonna quote Monsters University. Can I have your 0:25:05.520 --> 0:25:10.560 permission to Can I have your permission to use literary 0:25:10.680 --> 0:25:14.639 themes from Monsters University and how they may apply to 0:25:14.680 --> 0:25:15.320 your situation? 0:25:16.320 --> 0:25:19.320 Of course, please do so in Monsters University. 0:25:21.760 --> 0:25:23.840 And I'm gonna make a lot of what I'm about 0:25:23.840 --> 0:25:25.520 to say up because I haven't seen that movie in 0:25:25.560 --> 0:25:36.200 about thirty seven years. But in Monsters University, I believe 0:25:36.440 --> 0:25:39.919 Mike Wazowski has a bit of like a jealousy problem 0:25:40.000 --> 0:25:43.679 going on with Sully, right, because Sully is like a jock, 0:25:44.880 --> 0:25:48.679 scary guy, you know, he's he and he's a naturally 0:25:49.600 --> 0:25:54.200 confident dude, Sully. We all know people and we all 0:25:54.240 --> 0:25:56.159 have people like this in our lives that we see 0:25:56.600 --> 0:25:59.479 who you know, they whatever, they're at a bar and 0:25:59.640 --> 0:26:01.960 or they're a thing, and they just naturally they're they're 0:26:02.000 --> 0:26:05.280 they're tall and beautiful, and they exude confidence and everything 0:26:05.280 --> 0:26:07.280 that they do, they just they just do it. It's 0:26:07.320 --> 0:26:09.439 like magic to them. Well, no, it's not even like 0:26:09.480 --> 0:26:11.240 magic to them. It's like nature to them to just 0:26:11.359 --> 0:26:16.239 be this confident, amazing person. Right. That's Sully. And then 0:26:16.240 --> 0:26:21.879 you have Mike Wasowski, who's a tad more meek, a 0:26:21.960 --> 0:26:30.280 tad more naturally nervous, and uh, he works really hard. 0:26:30.359 --> 0:26:34.639 He studies a lot of theory on how to be scary, 0:26:35.160 --> 0:26:38.959 you know, because that's what's valued in the Monsters University 0:26:39.080 --> 0:26:46.080 universes is being scary. And Sully, No, Mike is just 0:26:46.200 --> 0:26:48.800 jealous because Mike's been putting in all this effort to 0:26:48.880 --> 0:26:53.119 achieve these things that Sully is just so naturally inclined to, 0:26:54.359 --> 0:26:57.760 you know, being scary. And and and Mike was Ouski 0:26:57.840 --> 0:27:02.360 he's just through through his own physical limitations. He's not scary. 0:27:02.440 --> 0:27:07.920 I promise this is going somewhere. But there's one point 0:27:08.160 --> 0:27:11.120 in the fucking movie, and I forget exactly what happens. 0:27:11.920 --> 0:27:17.160 But Sully says to I think, I think Mike saves 0:27:17.359 --> 0:27:20.399 Sully's life in some way, shape or form. Something happens. 0:27:20.440 --> 0:27:22.800 I forget. We hold on, give me one second. Well, 0:27:22.840 --> 0:27:25.560 let me look up the Wikipedia page for Monsters University, 0:27:25.600 --> 0:27:28.720 because this, this really touched me and it reminds me 0:27:28.760 --> 0:27:33.000 of you in a way. Okay, it's twenty thirteen. Damn, 0:27:33.920 --> 0:27:39.520 that feels like it wasn't that long ago. Okay, whatever. 0:27:40.080 --> 0:27:44.160 Oh yeah, Mike sneaks in to the human world full 0:27:44.200 --> 0:27:51.639 of children, and he tries to fucking save Sully. I 0:27:51.680 --> 0:27:53.359 don't know who cares. Okay. Here's the point of what 0:27:53.400 --> 0:27:57.719 I'm trying to say is that at one point, Sully 0:27:57.760 --> 0:28:01.359 says to Mike, he goes listen, like, you may not 0:28:01.560 --> 0:28:08.320 be scary, but you are fearless. And that was touching 0:28:08.400 --> 0:28:11.760 to me, you know what I mean, because look at you, right, 0:28:12.160 --> 0:28:17.280 you might not have that natural if we can sub 0:28:17.359 --> 0:28:20.840 in scariness for confidence, right, you may not have that 0:28:21.040 --> 0:28:25.199 natural Sully scariness that he goes into everything with. You 0:28:25.280 --> 0:28:28.000 might be more of a Mike was Awski, But you're fearless, 0:28:28.760 --> 0:28:31.399 you know, you go into this bar by yourself and 0:28:31.560 --> 0:28:34.960 you start talking to people, you move across the country, 0:28:35.000 --> 0:28:37.680 you abandon your life. You may not do it with 0:28:38.360 --> 0:28:43.400 such confident swagger, but you do it nonetheless because as 0:28:43.520 --> 0:28:48.040 because as Sully says to Mike Wasowski, you are not 0:28:48.360 --> 0:28:51.400 You may not be scary, but you are fearless. And 0:28:51.440 --> 0:28:53.480 so that's why I think your life is like is 0:28:53.600 --> 0:28:56.120 like Monsters University. 0:28:56.960 --> 0:29:04.240 I never thought about it like that before. Yeah, that's beautiful. 0:29:06.320 --> 0:29:07.200 What's your name again? 0:29:08.280 --> 0:29:09.480 Nick? Nick? 0:29:10.720 --> 0:29:12.200 I want to be like you know, you know how 0:29:12.240 --> 0:29:16.560 like Jordan Peterson is famous for like uh whatever, he 0:29:16.720 --> 0:29:20.040 like gives like lectures about the Lion King or whatever. 0:29:20.080 --> 0:29:23.440 I want to do that, but with also I want 0:29:23.440 --> 0:29:25.920 to do that with Disney movies anyway, who cares? All Right, 0:29:26.520 --> 0:29:28.000 I'm sorry, what's your name? One more time? 0:29:29.000 --> 0:29:29.240 Nick? 0:29:29.800 --> 0:29:30.040 Nick? 0:29:31.280 --> 0:29:33.400 I'm proud of you, Nick, I'm inspired by you. I 0:29:33.440 --> 0:29:34.840 think you're a good person. I think you're going to 0:29:34.880 --> 0:29:35.240 do well. 0:29:36.400 --> 0:29:40.360 Oh thanks, son, It's it feels so much better. It's 0:29:40.400 --> 0:29:44.520 actually like take steps to improve your life then it 0:29:44.520 --> 0:29:46.400 does to like just sulk about it. 0:29:46.720 --> 0:29:47.040 M hm. 0:29:49.280 --> 0:29:53.400 Go watch Monsters University. I think there's a tie in 0:29:53.640 --> 0:29:57.560 video game too. What's the tie in video. 0:29:57.840 --> 0:29:59.800 That like a PS three game or something. 0:30:02.000 --> 0:30:06.680 In July eleventh of twenty thirteen, Disney's Club Penguin hosted 0:30:06.720 --> 0:30:11.840 a Monsters University Takeover event to promote the film. Okay, 0:30:11.880 --> 0:30:16.160 that's probably offline by now, but anyway, Wow. It grossed 0:30:16.320 --> 0:30:21.040 five hundred million Hong Kongese dollars opening day. All right, well, 0:30:21.080 --> 0:30:25.480 I'm Nick. Yes, is there anything else you want to 0:30:25.480 --> 0:30:27.000 say to the people of the computer before we go? 0:30:28.480 --> 0:30:32.160 If you live in Riting, hitting me up, have a good. 0:30:32.000 --> 0:30:34.720 Wind with your games. Thank you very much for calling. 0:30:35.880 --> 0:30:38.920 All right, love you, bye bye, Nick. 0:30:41.000 --> 0:30:43.600 That really did I. I'm so glad that I had 0:30:43.640 --> 0:30:48.320 the opportunity to talk about Monsters University. Been wanting to 0:30:48.320 --> 0:30:50.320 talk about that for a while. It's a real touching scene. 0:30:50.600 --> 0:30:56.400 I'm gonna go watch that movie when I'm done, when 0:30:56.440 --> 0:30:59.120 I'm done, whatever else, whatever I'm doing. 0:31:00.000 --> 0:31:03.280 Hello, Hello, what's up? Have I in? 0:31:04.120 --> 0:31:05.440 You're in? What's your name? 0:31:05.960 --> 0:31:09.640 No fucking way, no fucking way. My name My name 0:31:09.680 --> 0:31:10.160 is Adrian. 0:31:10.360 --> 0:31:11.280 How's life Adrian? 0:31:12.760 --> 0:31:15.680 My life is pretty good right now? Jesus twice my 0:31:15.800 --> 0:31:20.680 heart peaty confect? What she is crazy to me? Okay, 0:31:21.480 --> 0:31:23.440 mine is pretty good? 0:31:22.680 --> 0:31:24.280 Why tell me more about that. 0:31:25.600 --> 0:31:31.680 I reason it took a took a chance to I 0:31:31.800 --> 0:31:36.280 tried dating apps and I met this girl and she 0:31:36.400 --> 0:31:40.240 lives across the country, and so I drove across the 0:31:40.240 --> 0:31:44.040 country to meet her. And she's good. 0:31:46.120 --> 0:31:50.200 Okay, what do you like about this girl? 0:31:53.400 --> 0:32:00.560 She is very funny, she is very beautiful, She has 0:32:00.680 --> 0:32:05.480 same interest as me, and she has a beautiful singing voice. 0:32:06.480 --> 0:32:13.520 She strives to become an artist. And yeah, her voice 0:32:13.560 --> 0:32:14.240 is gorgeous. 0:32:19.520 --> 0:32:22.080 And you drive across it. That was the first time 0:32:22.120 --> 0:32:23.960 meeting her, was driving across the country. 0:32:25.200 --> 0:32:29.680 Yes, after we're spoken for about a week's about nine hours? 0:32:32.640 --> 0:32:32.760 Hm. 0:32:33.560 --> 0:32:35.480 And so what's the plan here? Are you gonna just 0:32:35.560 --> 0:32:37.320 keep driving back and forth nine hours? 0:32:39.160 --> 0:32:41.960 I wall did that once. I've been there two more 0:32:42.000 --> 0:32:48.280 times now, and those two times I flew instead of driving. 0:32:48.960 --> 0:32:53.760 Mm hmm because the driving tip was exhausting. 0:32:54.600 --> 0:33:05.440 Yeah, I'm sure, okay, okay, So is she going to 0:33:05.480 --> 0:33:06.520 come to you now? 0:33:09.080 --> 0:33:12.600 Hopefully one day. But like the school she goes to 0:33:12.720 --> 0:33:15.920 because she's like in I don't know what it would 0:33:15.920 --> 0:33:20.480 be in English, but it's like I don't I don't 0:33:20.520 --> 0:33:24.400 even know. But she she goes to school Monday to Saturday, 0:33:24.480 --> 0:33:27.440 so she kind of only has one day weekend, so 0:33:27.480 --> 0:33:31.000 it's kind of difficult for her to travel here and 0:33:31.040 --> 0:33:33.680 when she has school all the time. Mm hmm. But 0:33:33.840 --> 0:33:39.479 she will come sometime early next year for sure. M hm. 0:33:40.560 --> 0:33:46.280 And what what's your life like? Where are you calling from? 0:33:46.320 --> 0:33:49.040 You have a peculiar phone number, or at least peculiar 0:33:49.240 --> 0:33:51.120 to me as an American. 0:33:51.480 --> 0:33:54.720 I'm calling from Norway, Norway? 0:33:55.520 --> 0:33:58.160 What's going on in Norway? What's happening there. 0:33:59.480 --> 0:34:02.960 Right now? Surprising enough? It's at least where I live. 0:34:03.400 --> 0:34:07.120 There is no snow, which she kind of wouldn't expect 0:34:07.440 --> 0:34:09.960 from Norway because Norway is like known for all the snow. 0:34:10.600 --> 0:34:11.000 Mm hmm. 0:34:13.719 --> 0:34:18.279 Right where and where in Norway? Are you Oslow? 0:34:20.120 --> 0:34:23.040 One hour away from a slow so fairly close? 0:34:23.480 --> 0:34:28.080 Okay? And is this woman a Norwegian woman? 0:34:29.640 --> 0:34:33.040 Yes, she lives in I don't know if you're familiar 0:34:33.120 --> 0:34:37.239 with Norwegian cities, but she lives in Bergen, which is 0:34:37.320 --> 0:34:40.440 like on the Midwest coast. 0:34:41.120 --> 0:34:48.640 Sure, I know I know Bergen from Bergen? Boy? Okay? 0:34:49.239 --> 0:34:52.960 And are you ready? Are you ready to fall in love? 0:34:55.040 --> 0:34:56.239 Did I am falling in love? 0:34:57.360 --> 0:34:59.040 What does that feel like? What does that feel like? 0:34:59.120 --> 0:34:59.960 For falling in love. 0:35:00.400 --> 0:35:04.879 It is, it is exciting, it is. It feels good. 0:35:05.440 --> 0:35:08.839 Mm hmm, feels feels good. 0:35:09.560 --> 0:35:14.520 Mm hmmm mm hmm. Have you been in love before? 0:35:14.640 --> 0:35:16.000 Is this your first time in love? 0:35:18.280 --> 0:35:21.200 I haven't been in love to this degree before. 0:35:21.280 --> 0:35:23.880 Now I wouldn't say that interesting. 0:35:23.920 --> 0:35:31.520 This one is different. Why it just feels more real? 0:35:33.239 --> 0:35:39.319 Just the last person I was with had a like 0:35:39.400 --> 0:35:42.600 it was a difficult issue because like her family was 0:35:43.040 --> 0:35:49.080 very very uh non accepting, and so I was kind 0:35:49.120 --> 0:35:52.799 of like in secret and pushed away kind of. So 0:35:52.880 --> 0:35:55.800 it was very very difficult. 0:35:56.239 --> 0:35:58.120 And what were they not accepting of? 0:36:00.280 --> 0:36:05.400 Like she was from Sri Lanka, so they were not 0:36:05.520 --> 0:36:10.120 expecting off having a Norwegian boyfriend because they wanted like 0:36:10.280 --> 0:36:14.720 a successful Sri Lankan guy instead. I guess I see 0:36:14.920 --> 0:36:16.440 they're like very conservative. 0:36:17.320 --> 0:36:23.439 And now this woman does not want a successful Sri 0:36:23.560 --> 0:36:28.560 Lankan guy. She's down for a regular Joe Schmo Bergen boy. 0:36:28.719 --> 0:36:30.359 Although you're not a burg And boy, you're a. 0:36:30.800 --> 0:36:33.480 Oh this is this is my this is my previous relationship. 0:36:33.520 --> 0:36:35.719 So yes matter anyway. 0:36:35.600 --> 0:36:39.799 Yes, so now, but now this woman loves you for 0:36:39.840 --> 0:36:40.399 who you are? 0:36:41.640 --> 0:36:48.720 Yes, what dating apps parents? It's kind of embarrassing because 0:36:49.080 --> 0:36:52.879 my my my colleague was talking about this dating app 0:36:52.880 --> 0:36:57.360 because she had had very bad experiences. I saw, fuck it, 0:36:57.440 --> 0:36:59.360 let's see how bad it is. So I tried it, 0:36:59.400 --> 0:37:00.800 and it's Facebook dating. 0:37:03.080 --> 0:37:05.920 You're not the first. You're not the first Facebook dating 0:37:06.040 --> 0:37:11.160 success story that we've heard on this podcast. Actually, weirdly enough. 0:37:13.520 --> 0:37:14.400 That is surprising. 0:37:14.760 --> 0:37:18.399 Actually, yeah, weirdly enough. 0:37:18.400 --> 0:37:23.760 I didn't really use it for the intent to date. 0:37:23.920 --> 0:37:28.160 It was just using it for trying to see the 0:37:28.320 --> 0:37:32.879 experience my colleague at a to see, like, how bad 0:37:33.000 --> 0:37:33.879 really is it? 0:37:35.280 --> 0:37:41.520 So, how does this relationship compare to the other one 0:37:41.560 --> 0:37:42.120 that you were in? 0:37:44.440 --> 0:37:48.880 This one is? I This one is way better because 0:37:49.040 --> 0:37:53.919 the previous one I can only like be with them 0:37:54.000 --> 0:37:57.600 for hours and had to be in secretly, have to 0:37:57.680 --> 0:38:05.320 like sneak out or like avoid certain people and such. 0:38:05.440 --> 0:38:07.799 On this one, I can just is just open and 0:38:07.840 --> 0:38:10.479 I can actually talk to her, and I can talk 0:38:10.520 --> 0:38:13.080 to her family. I can talk to her friends properly. 0:38:16.920 --> 0:38:21.160 Mm hmmm, mm hmmm. So you met this woman's family already. 0:38:22.239 --> 0:38:26.640 No, I'm meeting them in two weeks or twelve days. 0:38:26.680 --> 0:38:29.680 Actually, they're gonna You're gonna go back to Bergen. 0:38:31.120 --> 0:38:33.800 Yeah, No, because she doesn't. She's not from Berg and 0:38:33.840 --> 0:38:36.120 she just lives there for school, so she lives like 0:38:36.200 --> 0:38:40.400 a few hours south. But it's also on the west 0:38:40.480 --> 0:38:46.839 side of Norway. So I'm taking the train over there 0:38:48.320 --> 0:38:56.320 in h in twelve days after Christmas. Cool because in Norway. 0:38:56.480 --> 0:38:59.640 In Norway actually actually eleven days. Eleven days because in 0:38:59.680 --> 0:39:04.319 Norway Christmas is on the twenty fourth. I don't know 0:39:04.320 --> 0:39:08.120 why the US is on the twenty fifth, but I 0:39:08.160 --> 0:39:10.400 know a lot of European countries have it on the 0:39:10.520 --> 0:39:11.240 twenty fourth. 0:39:12.040 --> 0:39:14.240 It's because we have different Jesus. 0:39:16.200 --> 0:39:17.800 That makes a whole lot of sense. 0:39:18.000 --> 0:39:23.520 Yeah, you guys have Norwegian Jesus and we have Americans. 0:39:26.080 --> 0:39:30.120 The biggest difference between American Jesus and Norwegian Jesus is 0:39:30.120 --> 0:39:36.520 that Norwegian Jesus is uh, he's Norwegian. 0:39:39.040 --> 0:39:43.040 Yeah, did you know that? I know that. Now. 0:39:44.040 --> 0:39:45.480 Do you know a lot about Jesus? 0:39:48.360 --> 0:39:50.880 Well, not other than what I've learned in school. 0:39:51.280 --> 0:39:56.239 What did you learn in school about Jesus? 0:39:56.280 --> 0:39:59.759 But he has been born and savior him, sush. I 0:39:59.760 --> 0:40:04.200 don't under much. I didn't really enjoy enjoy religion. 0:40:05.440 --> 0:40:08.200 Did you go to did you go to a religious school? 0:40:09.600 --> 0:40:09.640 No? 0:40:12.920 --> 0:40:16.720 In most schools in Norway, you can't like in force 0:40:17.320 --> 0:40:21.600 certain religions and such, at least not in elementary school. 0:40:22.840 --> 0:40:29.280 So it's like, it's not that many Christian schools and such. 0:40:30.640 --> 0:40:33.000 So why were you learning about Jesus in school then? 0:40:34.360 --> 0:40:38.440 Because noways a Christian country? Have we learned about all 0:40:38.440 --> 0:40:40.120 the religions? 0:40:42.920 --> 0:40:46.520 What did you learn about Hinduism? 0:40:47.160 --> 0:40:48.680 You're not remember. 0:40:51.440 --> 0:40:54.040 What's your favorite religion? Which religion do you think is correct? 0:40:57.280 --> 0:41:01.640 I am not fond of legion because it cost is 0:41:01.680 --> 0:41:05.040 so much conflict, So I'd like to believe none of them. 0:41:05.880 --> 0:41:07.719 I don't believe there God. 0:41:09.840 --> 0:41:13.160 What's the best between the PlayStation three, the Xbox three 0:41:13.239 --> 0:41:14.640 sixty and the Nintendo Wii. 0:41:16.320 --> 0:41:19.200 I grew up with the PlayStation three, So for me, 0:41:19.280 --> 0:41:21.040 I will I'd say PlayStation three. 0:41:23.120 --> 0:41:23.959 What's your name again? 0:41:25.920 --> 0:41:26.760 My name is Adrian? 0:41:27.160 --> 0:41:30.520 Adrian. I like you, Adrian, you got a good vibe. 0:41:30.600 --> 0:41:31.239 I like you too. 0:41:31.280 --> 0:41:37.280 Man, you're gonna get married, probably to this Facebook lady. 0:41:38.200 --> 0:41:41.160 You guys will have a Yeah, you guys get married. 0:41:41.400 --> 0:41:44.960 You'll buy a two cats. Yeah, I have two cats. 0:41:44.960 --> 0:41:49.319 Get a PlayStation, Get a PlayStation fucking seven. You know 0:41:50.680 --> 0:41:51.239 that'll be good. 0:41:51.160 --> 0:41:54.600 At the time. By that time. It's probably a PlayStation 0:41:54.760 --> 0:41:58.360 only only PlayStation six if if that will be released 0:41:58.400 --> 0:42:03.359 in time, I'm not sure. I want to. I want 0:42:03.360 --> 0:42:06.279 to talk with you about the first time I tried 0:42:06.320 --> 0:42:09.879 to weed a few months ago, I think two months 0:42:09.880 --> 0:42:10.600 ago or something. 0:42:11.800 --> 0:42:17.360 Mm hmmm, uh, you tried weed a few months ago. 0:42:17.640 --> 0:42:22.480 Yeah, sure, yes, but the first time ever. And I 0:42:22.520 --> 0:42:29.600 had a terrible experience. Wow, okay, very unpleasant. Like I 0:42:29.920 --> 0:42:34.000 only did, like I think, because I smoked with my 0:42:34.160 --> 0:42:38.239 brothers and their friends, and they're like, they smoke a lot, 0:42:39.400 --> 0:42:42.400 and so they do like they make joints with like 0:42:42.520 --> 0:42:46.879 tobacco and weed, and I'm not I'm not someone who 0:42:47.080 --> 0:42:50.279 uses a nicotine of any kind. So I think it 0:42:50.400 --> 0:42:55.360 was like a mix of being being high and getting 0:42:55.400 --> 0:43:00.879 a nickeo shock. And so I took like only four 0:43:02.360 --> 0:43:07.520 big puffs of these joints and and I was I 0:43:07.560 --> 0:43:14.080 was lost, and I was like dissociating from reality and 0:43:14.200 --> 0:43:17.439 just suddenly like constantly, just suddenly realizing what the fuck 0:43:17.480 --> 0:43:22.520 I'm alive. I was just sitting in the couch, disappearing 0:43:22.520 --> 0:43:25.239 completely for like a minute, and I come back and 0:43:25.400 --> 0:43:27.960 what what the fuck? I just remember that I'm alive, 0:43:29.719 --> 0:43:32.319 but that was just like the first few minutes that 0:43:32.440 --> 0:43:34.920 was that was that was like not too bad experience. 0:43:35.000 --> 0:43:38.319 Then I was I went inside and sat on the 0:43:38.360 --> 0:43:42.760 couch inside, and then I was just in pure agony. 0:43:44.320 --> 0:43:48.319 I was laying there and I could not move, and 0:43:48.360 --> 0:43:51.719 I could not see, and I could not think for myself. 0:43:51.800 --> 0:43:56.760 I was just trapped and I felt this uncomfortable feeling 0:43:56.760 --> 0:44:00.839 in my body constantly, and I don't know what it was. 0:44:00.960 --> 0:44:06.200 And then and then and then, like a few minutes later, 0:44:06.680 --> 0:44:08.360 I just felt like I had to throw up. So 0:44:08.400 --> 0:44:12.440 I just just snapped out of it. Who ran outside, 0:44:12.680 --> 0:44:16.120 threw up everything at Eton that day, and then I 0:44:16.160 --> 0:44:19.200 went to go sleep because and then I just kept 0:44:19.200 --> 0:44:25.520 feeling that horrible feeling in my body. But yeah, I 0:44:25.840 --> 0:44:27.280 don't think I want to try that again. 0:44:28.360 --> 0:44:34.800 Really, I feel like you didn't. You didn't you didn't 0:44:34.880 --> 0:44:37.680 like see visions of Bob Marley and you didn't. 0:44:38.520 --> 0:44:42.520 No, I had no visions. I mean not really, I 0:44:42.560 --> 0:44:45.759 didn't really have any visions. I could feel like, you know, 0:44:46.440 --> 0:44:49.680 you know how you played GTA five and been high 0:44:49.680 --> 0:44:53.239 in GTA five, Yeah, yeah, you know you know that 0:44:53.440 --> 0:44:56.799 silter that you have in GT five high? That's what 0:44:56.880 --> 0:45:02.600 I saw like I saw the g mean like shaky screen. 0:45:02.680 --> 0:45:06.759 I guess mmmm, that was like what I saw constantly. 0:45:07.200 --> 0:45:07.600 Mm hmm. 0:45:11.200 --> 0:45:13.840 How did you get How did you get weed in Norway? 0:45:13.840 --> 0:45:15.160 Because it's not legal there. 0:45:15.040 --> 0:45:17.840 Right, it's not illegal. I don't know how they get it. 0:45:17.880 --> 0:45:22.360 They have their dealers, they buy bags of weed. I 0:45:22.360 --> 0:45:25.239 don't know. I as I said, I smoked with my 0:45:25.360 --> 0:45:28.040 brothers and their friends, so like they got it themselves. 0:45:28.040 --> 0:45:32.400 But people either imported or probably cliented legally. 0:45:33.040 --> 0:45:40.800 Mm hmm. What's your name again, Adrian? Adrian? Well, Adrian, 0:45:40.920 --> 0:45:46.719 I wish you a good drug free Norwegian marriage life. 0:45:46.760 --> 0:45:48.080 You're gonna have a good la you to live in 0:45:48.080 --> 0:45:53.320 the countryside with a wife and a PlayStation and no weed, 0:45:54.000 --> 0:45:55.560 and it's going to be good for you. I'm excited 0:45:55.640 --> 0:45:59.600 for you and two cats. Is there anything else you 0:45:59.640 --> 0:46:01.279 want to say to the people of the computer before 0:46:01.320 --> 0:46:01.600 we go. 0:46:03.960 --> 0:46:05.759 I've actually never thought of this. I listened to your 0:46:05.760 --> 0:46:08.680 podcast for four and a half years, for five years 0:46:08.680 --> 0:46:11.719 that I still haven't talked about what so I just 0:46:13.280 --> 0:46:21.280 don't give up, never give up, beautiful, thank you, thank you, 0:46:21.320 --> 0:46:25.480 get go. Also one more thing, I saw you at 0:46:25.520 --> 0:46:29.000 an aquarium the other next week. It was a Green 0:46:29.080 --> 0:46:29.360 Get Go. 0:46:29.840 --> 0:46:32.080 Oh okay, you were like, so, I thought you saw 0:46:32.239 --> 0:46:36.479 me at an aquarium last never been insane? Yeah no, yeah, 0:46:37.200 --> 0:46:39.520 you psakeed me out. Don't psyke me out. Don't psyke 0:46:39.560 --> 0:46:43.120 me out like that. Man, you're sure you're convened. Don't, don't. 0:46:43.160 --> 0:46:43.399 Don't. 0:46:43.800 --> 0:46:45.680 Don't be cute with me about that kind of ship. 0:46:45.760 --> 0:46:45.920 Man. 0:46:45.920 --> 0:46:48.600 You're trying to drive me insane. You're gonna make me 0:46:48.640 --> 0:46:53.000 think I was in Norway or something, you know, driving 0:46:53.040 --> 0:46:53.520 me nuts. 0:46:53.520 --> 0:46:53.680 Bro. 0:46:53.960 --> 0:46:56.600 Maybe maybe it was your brother. I saw Green Get 0:46:56.600 --> 0:46:58.879 Go and and it looked a lot like you. 0:47:00.640 --> 0:47:03.120 I have a good one, Adrian, Good. 0:47:03.040 --> 0:47:06.760 Luck to you have a good one too. Bye bye. 0:47:07.840 --> 0:47:09.600 That freaked me out. I was like, fuck, was I 0:47:09.640 --> 0:47:15.120 in an aquarium in Norway? Maybe I was? You don't 0:47:15.160 --> 0:47:17.359 know me. I don't know me. I don't know where 0:47:17.360 --> 0:47:20.640 I've been aquarium in Norway? I could be at a 0:47:20.760 --> 0:47:23.040 zoo in Russia. I could be anywhere. 0:47:24.760 --> 0:47:28.200 From No, no, hello, Hello. 0:47:28.400 --> 0:47:29.719 What's up? What's your name? 0:47:30.840 --> 0:47:31.479 Oh shit? 0:47:32.600 --> 0:47:37.600 I no, no, no, no? What's going on? No? No nothing? 0:47:37.680 --> 0:47:37.919 GEK? 0:47:37.960 --> 0:47:38.440 How are you? 0:47:39.760 --> 0:47:42.360 I'm doing okay, I'm hanging in there, trying my best. 0:47:42.719 --> 0:47:45.600 Just another day. What's going on with you? No, now, 0:47:45.640 --> 0:47:46.640 how can I get you to then? 0:47:47.600 --> 0:47:51.920 I'll be honest, I called on a whim because, like, uh, 0:47:52.680 --> 0:47:58.960 my partner just left two see their family, and I'm 0:47:59.000 --> 0:48:04.600 pretty much here alone in my house for like first 0:48:04.600 --> 0:48:05.239 time ever. 0:48:06.480 --> 0:48:08.560 Hold on, you're alone in your house for the first 0:48:08.600 --> 0:48:09.560 time ever. 0:48:10.400 --> 0:48:13.360 Because like I used to live with my whole family 0:48:14.280 --> 0:48:18.960 in one building and like they're not far but I'm 0:48:18.960 --> 0:48:23.080 so used to just like going up a floor and 0:48:23.160 --> 0:48:25.200 like now it's just me. 0:48:26.640 --> 0:48:27.120 Mm hmmm. 0:48:28.560 --> 0:48:38.160 So yeah, okay, okay, this is the you how old 0:48:38.160 --> 0:48:38.400 are you? 0:48:39.520 --> 0:48:40.520 Oh, I'm twenty seven. 0:48:40.880 --> 0:48:43.080 You're twenty seven years old, and this is your first 0:48:43.120 --> 0:48:48.160 time ever in the house alone in your entire life? 0:48:48.400 --> 0:48:48.680 Yeah? 0:48:48.760 --> 0:48:53.799 Man, really, yeah that doesn't make any sense to me. 0:48:53.880 --> 0:48:55.600 How did that? How did that happen? Like when you 0:48:55.600 --> 0:48:58.600 were growing up? Did you never find yourself in the 0:48:58.640 --> 0:49:00.440 house alone at one point? Like do you have a 0:49:00.440 --> 0:49:02.240 bunch of brothers and sisters or something? 0:49:03.200 --> 0:49:08.120 Well, my whole family would live in one building, so 0:49:08.360 --> 0:49:16.120 like if uh, there's usually someone home, mm hmm. So 0:49:16.239 --> 0:49:19.720 like I would just go downstairs and see my grandma, 0:49:19.920 --> 0:49:21.880 or like you know, my sister would usually be in 0:49:21.920 --> 0:49:25.280 the other room or like, uh. 0:49:25.640 --> 0:49:25.960 I don't know. 0:49:26.000 --> 0:49:28.120 I'd go upstairs and see one of my uncles or 0:49:28.120 --> 0:49:33.359 my cousins. There's usually someone in the house. 0:49:34.640 --> 0:49:36.640 And so where do you live now? Do you live? 0:49:36.760 --> 0:49:38.600 You live with your significant other? 0:49:39.840 --> 0:49:44.880 Yeah, and like, oh oh, I was gonna say, we 0:49:44.920 --> 0:49:48.719 don't live that far from my family, but it's like 0:49:50.560 --> 0:49:54.600 pretty much we live on the other side of town. 0:49:54.960 --> 0:49:58.799 And it's like it's it's a little weird for me, 0:49:58.920 --> 0:50:01.000 I think, I guess mm hmm. 0:50:02.320 --> 0:50:08.719 Y okay. And how long have you been living with 0:50:08.760 --> 0:50:09.640 your significant other? 0:50:09.640 --> 0:50:09.839 Four? 0:50:11.440 --> 0:50:15.120 Uh, we've only been living together for like a few 0:50:15.120 --> 0:50:16.800 months now, m m. 0:50:16.920 --> 0:50:21.120 Okay. And in the entire few months, you've never been 0:50:21.200 --> 0:50:22.200 at the house alone. 0:50:24.080 --> 0:50:27.719 I mean, not for longer than like a few hours? 0:50:29.280 --> 0:50:32.280 Are that I mean that counts. Why is this different 0:50:32.320 --> 0:50:34.200 than a few hours? This is like the whole day 0:50:34.280 --> 0:50:35.560 or alone. 0:50:35.760 --> 0:50:39.759 Well, they're going to be gone for like two weeks. 0:50:40.080 --> 0:50:42.239 Oh okay, all right, so this is your first time 0:50:43.160 --> 0:50:48.120 an extended period of time alone. Okay, yeah, yeah, no, 0:50:48.239 --> 0:50:49.200 I see, okay. 0:50:50.360 --> 0:50:52.920 And like I was a little excited to have the 0:50:52.960 --> 0:50:55.400 house to myself, but also a little nervous, but like, 0:50:56.400 --> 0:51:02.000 you know, I got stuff to do here. Yeah, I 0:51:02.040 --> 0:51:09.960 have puzzles. I like drawing, reading. Usually I'll like throw 0:51:10.000 --> 0:51:14.040 on a podcast or music. Well I'm doing ship around 0:51:14.040 --> 0:51:15.520 the house mm. 0:51:15.440 --> 0:51:16.520 Hmmm, mm hmmm. 0:51:17.320 --> 0:51:20.960 I did invite like friends to over to come spend 0:51:22.200 --> 0:51:24.120 like I don't know, like maybe a'll work from home 0:51:24.239 --> 0:51:26.839 or something mm hmm from here. 0:51:28.719 --> 0:51:31.279 And what did they say? 0:51:32.160 --> 0:51:35.960 I have two friends who will probably come over during 0:51:35.960 --> 0:51:38.919 those two weeks at some point. That's nice. 0:51:40.040 --> 0:51:40.440 Mm hmm. 0:51:43.680 --> 0:51:47.640 I could always go visit my sister, m h go 0:51:47.760 --> 0:51:48.719 back to the family house. 0:51:49.280 --> 0:51:52.879 Mm hmmm, yeah, mm hmm. 0:51:53.320 --> 0:52:01.319 Okay, okay, And do you like are you you are 0:52:01.320 --> 0:52:04.400 you nervous about being home alone? Like you just like 0:52:04.600 --> 0:52:10.480 with this being the first time, it's it's being a 0:52:10.480 --> 0:52:12.439 thing for you for an extended period of time. 0:52:13.719 --> 0:52:14.480 Yeah, Like. 0:52:16.400 --> 0:52:19.879 I have like so I get like a pank tax 0:52:20.040 --> 0:52:25.279 sometimes and so like I've been talking to like therapists 0:52:25.600 --> 0:52:30.200 on like how to best deal with those. So I 0:52:30.239 --> 0:52:33.200 guess this is kind of like maybe some kind of 0:52:33.239 --> 0:52:35.600 like weird universe trial for myself. 0:52:36.440 --> 0:52:36.920 I don't know. 0:52:38.920 --> 0:52:41.000 I mean, I know I'll be okay like in the end, 0:52:41.360 --> 0:52:44.959 but my lizard brain is like, well, well you're gonna 0:52:45.000 --> 0:52:48.480 die and you're all alone and you know kind of 0:52:48.480 --> 0:52:49.160 have to just. 0:52:51.880 --> 0:52:53.440 Git through it. I guess No. 0:52:53.560 --> 0:52:57.040 I mean it's a valuable skill to know how to 0:52:57.080 --> 0:53:01.160 just be alone, you know, Yeah, especially if you've never 0:53:01.160 --> 0:53:01.920 done it before. 0:53:03.280 --> 0:53:05.200 Yeah. And I don't know. 0:53:05.280 --> 0:53:07.440 I guess when I was younger, I was more comfortable 0:53:07.480 --> 0:53:11.040 with being by myself. But I don't know. I feel 0:53:11.080 --> 0:53:14.040 like as an adult, you just are more anxious about 0:53:14.440 --> 0:53:15.480 everything in general. 0:53:15.800 --> 0:53:17.319 So mm hmm. 0:53:18.120 --> 0:53:20.160 You get very set in your ways, and like I 0:53:20.280 --> 0:53:23.520 was used to, like just like I don't know, just 0:53:23.560 --> 0:53:27.000 going upstairs and saying hi to somebody, Like, I don't know. 0:53:27.480 --> 0:53:33.279 My family is much more communal than my partners. 0:53:33.719 --> 0:53:42.600 M hm. So where where is your partner? What are 0:53:42.640 --> 0:53:43.000 they doing? 0:53:44.239 --> 0:53:44.359 Uh? 0:53:44.520 --> 0:53:49.319 They're going to the Caribbean to see their their mom. 0:53:49.360 --> 0:53:55.480 Cool. Yeah, well, I mean the ship. I mean, I 0:53:55.520 --> 0:54:00.960 live alone. I'm pretty used to it. I mean, what 0:54:01.000 --> 0:54:03.279 are you gonna? Are you gonna watch porn with sound on? 0:54:04.719 --> 0:54:04.839 Uh? 0:54:05.000 --> 0:54:07.360 I guess I could do that if I really really 0:54:07.400 --> 0:54:07.839 wanted to. 0:54:11.640 --> 0:54:12.080 I don't know. 0:54:13.920 --> 0:54:17.400 Uh, he'll put on music as lot as I want 0:54:18.120 --> 0:54:20.759 to do that. Dance, I got I gotta I got 0:54:20.760 --> 0:54:21.720 a pet, pet snake. 0:54:24.040 --> 0:54:25.040 Are you gonna let him lose. 0:54:26.080 --> 0:54:31.360 Yeah, I mean he's been he's been loose before. He's 0:54:31.400 --> 0:54:37.360 not He's pretty small, but mm hmm. It's nice to 0:54:37.400 --> 0:54:40.000 just kind of let him wiggle round the house. He's 0:54:40.120 --> 0:54:40.840 very curious. 0:54:41.760 --> 0:54:46.760 He's curious. What's he curious about? I don't know, eating 0:54:46.880 --> 0:54:47.840 rats and people? 0:54:48.960 --> 0:54:52.399 I I suppose. I mean, I don't think he's big 0:54:52.480 --> 0:54:55.279 enough to eat anybody. He's maybe like I don't know, 0:54:56.040 --> 0:54:57.560 like half an inch in diameter. 0:54:58.239 --> 0:54:58.840 Mm hmm. 0:55:01.280 --> 0:55:01.680 Mm hmm. 0:55:05.160 --> 0:55:06.200 What do you do for a living? 0:55:07.719 --> 0:55:10.719 Uh, I'm not working right now, but I was. I 0:55:10.800 --> 0:55:13.920 was a baker for like almost a decade. 0:55:14.719 --> 0:55:16.120 Yeah, what kind of stuff would you bake? 0:55:18.040 --> 0:55:23.840 We did like Macarons cookies. I've made so much Jeremy 0:55:23.960 --> 0:55:27.000 too in my career. I'm kind of like sick of it. 0:55:27.200 --> 0:55:34.000 But I used to work in like hotels. I usually 0:55:34.000 --> 0:55:38.080 did like large scale production mm hmmm. 0:55:42.280 --> 0:55:42.720 Mmmmm. 0:55:43.880 --> 0:55:46.879 But like, I don't know, I got pretty I got 0:55:46.880 --> 0:55:54.480 pretty tired of doing that. Like it's like it's it's 0:55:54.520 --> 0:55:57.400 a great Like I thought it was a really great experience. 0:55:57.440 --> 0:55:58.040 I don't. 0:56:00.400 --> 0:56:05.000 I don't necessarily regret getting into pastry, but sometimes I 0:56:05.040 --> 0:56:10.920 wish I'd done something different. I don't know, like it's 0:56:11.000 --> 0:56:15.319 I think anyone in the service industry knows, like it's 0:56:15.440 --> 0:56:17.440 very labor intensive. 0:56:16.960 --> 0:56:19.759 Work, yes, and like. 0:56:21.600 --> 0:56:26.600 It's it's just not for me, Like I'm kind of 0:56:26.600 --> 0:56:28.279 a weakling. I guess I don't know. 0:56:30.040 --> 0:56:34.240 No, I understand that I'm also kind of a weakling. 0:56:35.320 --> 0:56:37.960 You know, it is what it is. Sometimes you have 0:56:38.000 --> 0:56:40.120 to just accept that you're kind of a weakling. I 0:56:40.160 --> 0:56:43.960 it's snowing outside and I was like watching I was 0:56:44.000 --> 0:56:46.560 watching someone outside like shoveling all the snow, and I 0:56:46.640 --> 0:56:49.560 was like, shit, I just know, I'm so glad. I'm 0:56:49.600 --> 0:56:52.239 just like, fuck, I just know, I'm like too much 0:56:52.239 --> 0:56:56.160 of a pussy to have, like, uh do do just 0:56:56.280 --> 0:56:58.000 do real shit? You know what I mean? 0:57:01.400 --> 0:57:04.719 Yeah, I don't know. Like my partner is always telling me, 0:57:04.760 --> 0:57:07.160 like you're not built for hard labor. That's my job, 0:57:07.160 --> 0:57:10.040 And I'm like, you, you sit behind a desk, but thanks, 0:57:11.520 --> 0:57:16.040 what do they do? They essentially just sell software? 0:57:16.920 --> 0:57:19.440 Okay, I mean it's a. 0:57:19.400 --> 0:57:20.080 Big boy job. 0:57:20.600 --> 0:57:26.919 Yeah, So what are you most excited about for these 0:57:26.960 --> 0:57:27.640 two weeks? 0:57:29.360 --> 0:57:34.000 I guess just kind of like being able to fully 0:57:34.080 --> 0:57:38.000 relax by myself. Yeah, sometimes you just can't fully relax 0:57:38.080 --> 0:57:41.680 unless you're like entirely by yourself, whether it's like in 0:57:41.720 --> 0:57:46.680 your room or like, I don't know, like maybe have 0:57:46.720 --> 0:57:50.360 the whole house to yourself, kind of like when you're 0:57:50.400 --> 0:57:53.520 like a teenager and your parents leave for the night 0:57:53.560 --> 0:57:55.240 and you get to like sit in the living room 0:57:55.280 --> 0:57:56.840 and watch cartoons at full volume. 0:57:57.360 --> 0:58:06.960 Yeah yeah, hmm, yeah, that'd be awesome. Is that your plan? 0:58:07.080 --> 0:58:09.120 Or you're gonna watch cartoons at full volume? 0:58:10.240 --> 0:58:10.520 Sure? 0:58:11.280 --> 0:58:16.040 I've been watching the new Fionen Cake just I think 0:58:16.080 --> 0:58:18.840 it's good. Some people don't like it, but I think 0:58:18.840 --> 0:58:19.280 it's good. 0:58:19.920 --> 0:58:30.439 Mm hmm, Okay, So I think mean, I think this 0:58:30.520 --> 0:58:34.720 is a good opportunity for you to experience what it's 0:58:34.840 --> 0:58:38.960 like to live without another person for a bit. I mean, 0:58:39.040 --> 0:58:43.200 are you do would you consider yourself anxiously attached? Uh? 0:58:45.040 --> 0:58:50.200 You know, I'm pretty anxious person in general. I mean 0:58:50.560 --> 0:58:52.560 I don't know, Like I get left alone with my 0:58:52.640 --> 0:58:57.920 thoughts for too long, and my brain loves telling me 0:58:58.040 --> 0:59:01.560 that I'm like two seconds from dying, which I know 0:59:01.680 --> 0:59:02.200 is sake. 0:59:02.840 --> 0:59:07.680 But your brain is telling you that you're two seconds 0:59:07.680 --> 0:59:08.320 from dying. 0:59:09.520 --> 0:59:13.880 I don't know, Like I I started getting like these 0:59:13.920 --> 0:59:18.560 weird panic attacks like a few years back, and I 0:59:18.600 --> 0:59:23.760 did take medication for it for a while, but at 0:59:23.760 --> 0:59:25.200 some point I was like, I kind of want to 0:59:25.240 --> 0:59:27.600 try dealing with this without my meds, and I'm about 0:59:27.600 --> 0:59:30.880 to lose my insurance, so let's stop taking the meds 0:59:30.920 --> 0:59:31.360 for a while. 0:59:32.240 --> 0:59:37.040 Sure, not a bad idea. I guess what kind of 0:59:37.720 --> 0:59:39.760 meds are they? 0:59:39.800 --> 0:59:44.280 They were anti depressants. I was on that good good lexapro. 0:59:45.280 --> 0:59:45.600 Cool. 0:59:46.520 --> 0:59:46.840 Cool. 0:59:50.520 --> 0:59:53.800 What do you how do you normally calm down without 0:59:54.080 --> 0:59:56.000 uh using meds? 0:59:57.160 --> 1:00:02.560 Well, I essentially, I guess I just gotta like let 1:00:02.600 --> 1:00:06.960 myself feel the fear for a little bit, you know, 1:00:07.480 --> 1:00:09.880 like you kind of gotta feel it before I can passed. 1:00:11.000 --> 1:00:16.080 And then I essentially like I feel that fear long 1:00:16.200 --> 1:00:19.600 enough for my bodies like, okay, uh is this actually 1:00:19.640 --> 1:00:23.320 like a false alarm or not dying? And then I 1:00:23.360 --> 1:00:27.760 don't know. Then I'll make myself some tea, but on 1:00:27.920 --> 1:00:31.760 like a podcast or like a chill YouTube video or show, 1:00:34.320 --> 1:00:40.360 you know, get up, maybe take some deep breaths. 1:00:41.000 --> 1:00:43.880 Yeah, yeah, M. 1:00:46.240 --> 1:00:49.720 Like, I know essentially what I have to do. I 1:00:49.720 --> 1:00:53.400 think it's just sometimes my my my brain has a 1:00:53.440 --> 1:00:55.880 hard time believing that everything is fine. 1:00:57.920 --> 1:01:00.520 What happens when you talk to a real therapist about this. 1:01:00.600 --> 1:01:06.240 What I say, Well, they usually well I just started 1:01:06.280 --> 1:01:10.480 talking to a therapist again recently, yeah, and said. 1:01:11.840 --> 1:01:12.840 He was. 1:01:15.320 --> 1:01:21.640 Basically like he'll basically ask me, like how it feels 1:01:21.880 --> 1:01:24.960 in my body when I have anxiety or like when 1:01:25.000 --> 1:01:28.680 I'm feeling like I have like a really hard time 1:01:29.880 --> 1:01:35.560 in general just like telling what emotion I'm feeling. And 1:01:35.640 --> 1:01:39.840 so sometimes I'll feel like a really big emotion and 1:01:40.040 --> 1:01:41.920 like I don't know what it is, so my body 1:01:42.000 --> 1:01:48.200 just immediately defaults to like panic sometimes, Like sometimes I 1:01:48.240 --> 1:01:50.920 get so excited about certain things, like I don't know, 1:01:50.920 --> 1:01:53.920 maybe I'm going to see a concert or something, and 1:01:54.080 --> 1:01:59.280 I get so so excited that my body's like, oh shit, man, 1:01:59.320 --> 1:02:03.560 are we like eying because your heart's like beating really fast. Yeah, 1:02:03.600 --> 1:02:08.560 And I basically have to be like, no, we're not dying, 1:02:08.760 --> 1:02:12.400 but this is really exciting. I think what we're feeling 1:02:12.600 --> 1:02:17.800 is excitement. And I guess my therapist is like, well, 1:02:19.960 --> 1:02:24.160 it helps to like name those emotions first, by like, 1:02:25.000 --> 1:02:29.200 I guess it's like kind of an ongoing process of like, well, 1:02:29.240 --> 1:02:31.200 how do you feel in your body right now? Like 1:02:31.240 --> 1:02:36.280 what sensation is this emotion giving your body? And then 1:02:36.480 --> 1:02:38.680 like you can kind of go from there. I think, 1:02:39.240 --> 1:02:44.360 m I just started talking to them again recently, so 1:02:48.200 --> 1:02:50.840 I think right now my therapist is like trying to 1:02:50.880 --> 1:02:54.040 get to like the root of all my anxiety. 1:02:55.520 --> 1:02:59.920 Well, I hope that I hope that this is like 1:03:00.160 --> 1:03:03.440 good test for you. I suppose being alone for that 1:03:03.560 --> 1:03:07.760 long with your thoughts trying to trying to make them 1:03:07.800 --> 1:03:10.160 a better place to exist. 1:03:11.200 --> 1:03:15.400 Yeah, I'm like, I don't know. Sometimes I'm like, man, 1:03:15.480 --> 1:03:18.680 being in a corporeal body sucks so much, Like I 1:03:18.720 --> 1:03:20.760 have to feel all these things. I have to like 1:03:21.480 --> 1:03:24.680 digest food and poop and like uh. 1:03:26.080 --> 1:03:26.360 Leap. 1:03:27.560 --> 1:03:29.720 But then my partner's like, well, if you didn't have 1:03:29.760 --> 1:03:32.400 a human body, you wouldn't be able to like, uh 1:03:32.840 --> 1:03:38.920 eat delicious cookies and like uh take warm naps next 1:03:38.960 --> 1:03:40.080 to the radiator. I don't know. 1:03:43.040 --> 1:03:49.240 M hm hm hmm. 1:03:50.760 --> 1:03:51.000 Yeah. 1:03:51.440 --> 1:03:53.720 I mean I guess anxiety. You can also cure anxiety 1:03:53.760 --> 1:03:57.479 by uh, you know, jerking off and eating a lot, 1:03:57.880 --> 1:04:01.640 But that's that was really curing. That mainly just pushes 1:04:01.680 --> 1:04:05.640 it away. For that that kind of just yeah, I 1:04:05.640 --> 1:04:07.240 don't know if it gets rid of it exactly. 1:04:08.360 --> 1:04:11.240 I'm not super like, I don't know, I feel like 1:04:11.400 --> 1:04:15.280 eating is like, it's not that I don't want to eat, 1:04:15.320 --> 1:04:17.360 but it's like the sensation that's eating is kind of 1:04:17.400 --> 1:04:21.720 gross to me. Sometimes I don't know, like like just 1:04:22.880 --> 1:04:29.440 a physical bodily sensations. They're just so uncomfortable sometimes. 1:04:30.440 --> 1:04:31.320 What did you say your name was? 1:04:31.360 --> 1:04:32.919 Again? It's no? 1:04:32.920 --> 1:04:35.600 No, no, no? Is it your real name? 1:04:36.800 --> 1:04:36.840 No? 1:04:37.000 --> 1:04:38.040 That's what everyone calls me. 1:04:38.600 --> 1:04:39.720 Why does everyone call you no? 1:04:39.720 --> 1:04:43.800 No, because it's easier pronounced than my first name? 1:04:45.760 --> 1:04:46.480 Is your first name? 1:04:48.360 --> 1:04:48.440 No? 1:04:48.600 --> 1:04:54.280 Pataquin? Bodanga bos sure, beautiful? 1:04:55.080 --> 1:04:55.280 No? No? 1:04:55.400 --> 1:04:56.400 Is there anything else you want to say to the 1:04:56.440 --> 1:04:57.560 people of the computer before we go? 1:05:01.240 --> 1:05:07.280 I guess uh, there's like, I'm sure everyone on here 1:05:07.400 --> 1:05:10.440 loves the Internet and loves the free Internet and likes 1:05:10.440 --> 1:05:15.200 to be able to watch cat videos and born without 1:05:15.560 --> 1:05:18.480 your government I d being tied to it. So if 1:05:18.520 --> 1:05:22.840 you care about that, go do bad internet. 1:05:22.440 --> 1:05:27.520 Bill dot com cool okay? 1:05:27.640 --> 1:05:33.520 And uh yeah, and uh live your life, eat good food, 1:05:33.680 --> 1:05:34.520 and sleep well. 1:05:35.560 --> 1:05:36.160 Hock and roll. 1:05:36.960 --> 1:05:37.680 Thank you very much. 1:05:37.720 --> 1:05:40.200 No, no, thanks for talking to me, keek. 1:05:41.280 --> 1:05:44.240 Have a good uh, have a good Ferris Bueller's day off. 1:05:45.440 --> 1:05:45.840 Thanks. 1:05:46.080 --> 1:05:47.840 I hope you have a great day. 1:05:49.400 --> 1:05:54.040 By no, no, see you. 1:05:53.160 --> 1:06:00.240 Goes on the line, thank your phone calls every nine. 1:06:00.400 --> 1:06:03.440 You're like, Money's not really an expert.